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#…and now I have to go do actual schoolwork
adrift-in-thyme · 1 month
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A messy Ed sketch I made while procrastinating
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skitskatdacat63 · 4 months
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More matador!Fernando! Ferrari this time :D (I can't help myself.....)
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- facial hair
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+ closeups
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I really wanted the vibe of this Nando pic, I think I did pretty well??
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#GUYS THE BULL DO YOU NOTICE WHAT BULL DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE SUBTEXT DO YOU UNDERSTAND MY IMPLICATION#lmao tho i mostly put it there cause i saw this rly cool pic w the shadow of a bull on a matador's cape#i dont understand how i ended up making this one more intensive and detailed than the other#but im not mad cause i really like it aaahhhhhh#but i think this one took more than 6 hours and the other one was 5½?#and both i ended up working until an absolutely horrible time. dont ask me what time i wrote this post#okay btw i didnt draw that embroidery. thank you medibang pattern brush now beloved 🙏#i think it suits him!!!! i was thinking of doing stars anyways so I'm glad it worked out#two people id like to blame:#thank you 005 for accidentally reminding me of the sword!! im glad his other hand is not just idle :)#and thank you suzuki-ecstar for asking me at some point if id ever draw facial hair on nando#^ particularly the 3 Musketeers look. so thanks. i suddenly remembered and i had to draw it 😭#it kept shocking me how baby faced i drew him every time i took that layer off#also every time i worked on the suit red genuinely ceased being an actual color to me#its bright red right?? like very fluorescent?? but my brain kept going: is this too orange?? this isnt red right????#anyways happy with this!!!!! there were a lot more roadblocks than the other but it all worked out#but wow wish i had this level of diligence for yknow. schoolwork.#i can spend 6+ hours on a drawing straight but school? nah i give up every 20 mins or less fjfkkfl#also not abandoning my other aus or anything but i have a lot more ideas for this honestly#i think the ref pics are a lot easier and more interesting to find than for my other AUs#<- cause its so much more modern lmao. so i have a lot more inspo than trying to find ultra specific 18th century paintings#i wanna draw 3 things rn:#nando w the ceremonial cape. seb in a matador suit. and of course some silly vett//onso in this AU#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#catie.art.#fa14#matador au
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silenthillbunni · 3 months
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📓🕯️🐇🖤
#just a little diary dump:#i've contacted my school therapist again. asked for help regarding anxiety abt schoolwork since i dont get any other treatment#she said she can help me go thru if there are other options since neither psychiatric nor healthcare center will help me#+ she said that she and i can talk abt my anxiety regarding school etc. so in two weeks i'll see her#school starts next week. 4days a week rip... lol thats much for me. a bum. a cellar dweller. i've decided that im gnna go to all my classes#and always work while im there since its harder for me to do it at home. and i will also talk more w my teacher nd ask them for help#then im looking into an online therapy service. it miiight be possible for me to do that. but then i have to contact them and focus on only#1 or 2 issues. in my experience it just doesnt work to go to them and be like everythings bad :(( they wont help u then. i have to narrow it#down for them. nd i'll think i will talk 2 them abt my extreme feelings of loneliness and also my procrastination behavior#but yeah i have no idea if it's possibly bc idk if i can get financial aid for that service. im still in contact w the healthcare center so#i hope she will come to some sort of conclusion nd not just leave my high nd dry (she sent another referral to the persobality disorder -#clinic. even if they rejected the first one. so i'll see)#hmmm yeah. the situation w my sisters is sooooo rough. i hate it. they make me feel so so bad#and the housing situation is roughhhh. it's impossible to get an apartment lol.#so i need to find a way to shut it off and try to not let it bother me#just focus on finishing upper secondary school. nd i've been thinking abt taking out a loan for it and take german/french/spanish classes#instead of doing what im doing now when im actually poor and stressed bc they can choose to cut me off anytime#im meeting my highschool friend on tuesday. she asked if i wanted to hang out for a bit c:#im a bit anxious but like yeah.. it's nice to get out and talk to someone besides my family. which is just my mom lol#i messaged my other old highschool classmate on insta and said i saw her in my neighborhood#she replied but i had lowkeyyy hoped for more... like maybe being able to befriend her T-T but she didnt seem so interested in talking to me#which is ok ofc. it just made me a bit sad bc idk how to make friends and i thought she was rlly nice. but oh well#im rlly sad atm. maybe heartbreak prob. even more sad bc it was my stupid fault but yeah#im still grateful for all that it gave me. nd how i got to experience feelings of warmth nd love nd appreciation i didnt know i could feel#so even if im just contantly heavily sad bc i keep being like oh. i wanna ask this. say that. wonder what theyre up to. etc etc. i just have#to... be sad and just keep going forward#hope and try to not fuck everything else up. even if it feels like... what do all the other things matter when what i rlly rlly wanted got#ruined..... thats life tho. i know. im just so bad at handling life :((#i feel so broken and confused and i hate that i didnt get to be normal and healthy#im so illequipped at dealing w myself nd my emotions nd there seems to be no professional help for me
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designernishiki · 1 year
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it really means the world to me that little 12 year old daigo mentions that kiryu used to hang out with him a lot, meaning a teenage kiryu (and likely a teenage nishiki as well) basically babysat an even younger daigo on the reg for some amount of time. i wonder what shenanigans they got up to
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Henrow blorbo
first off, ohmyfuckinggodyouaresocoolllllllllllllllll
secondly, what ya workin' on currently? <- is deathly interested, yes please please please info dump if you have the spoons
- Ryan
Bonjour my furry friend. At the moment i'm mostly working on getting a job so that i can afford rent, but when i'm not doing that, i'm working on designing some new N-substituted 5MeO-tryptamines (in order to avoid being banned for breaking tumblr TOS, i can't say exactly what for, but if you look up 5MeO-tryptamines, you should see). So far i've only managed to make things that make me super sleepy (and maybe a tiny bit inebriated), so presumably my body is mainly metabolizing them into melatonin. I also have been working on working through the details of making a rocket engine which relies on both muon catalyzed fusion and z-pinch fusion (mostly because even though i know it's way above what i'm probably capable of, i just love space so much i desperately need to see it for myself and i figure that since rockets are so absurdly expensive, the only way i'll end up in space is if we can get a whole new generation of ultra-efficient rockets (for example, given p-N14 fusion, if we manage to get 1% or more (i don't really expect more than 0.1% max, but still) of the hydrogen fusing with nitrogen, we'd be able to put 150 tons on the moon from earth with only using about enough fuel to fill a small car (instead of needing a skyscraper sized rocket to send maybe 30 tons)). Now, if it were as easy as my calculations show it to be, i can't imagine how there are any rockets flown that aren't fusion, but seeing as i haven't even made a working proof of concept yet, i'm not in a position to criticize the thousands of aerospace engineers who are working on conventional chemical rockets. I love fusion because it's simultaneously so easy (i live pretty close to an old uranium mine where i can actually pan some uranium out of the creek near me, then use that uranium to make a neutron source (B10(α,n)) which is really just fusion between helium and boron, happening at room temperature because of how high energy the α particles released by uranium are) and so absurdly difficult (without catalysts like muons, it requires absurdly high temperatures and pressures that almost always take more energy put in than they can give out). Anyway, i've also been sorta working on studying a material that a while back i got way too excited over and may have called a room temperature superconductor (almost certainly not the case), but in an attempt to make it more pure and study it for real i've been trying to work on the exact calculations of its composition and finding a better way to heat it up to high temperatures (i might just but it in a flat-bottomed flask, especially since it finally warmed up enough for me to go back outside where the fumes released by its production won't make folks mad).
And then there's the biological experiments, currently with electroceutical tissue modifications since most of the other projects i have planned require me to have a gene printer capable of reliably printing genes thousands of base pairs long and i'm not sure when i'll be able to build that. The most recent thing i've been working on is really exciting because if it works it means that i've successfully done something that has never been done before to a human body (and given the long lasting pain in that part of my thigh, it seems very possible it is working), but i'm hesitant about sharing what the project is because i don't really want folks putting gap junction blockers, calcium channel blockers, and sodium channel blockers into open wounds without knowing how to do it safely and correctly to get the desired results and not just a really messed up wound. If/when this experiment turns out well, i might give directions in private, but i'm still somewhat hesitant due to the risks inherent in this (the biggest and most likely is literally giving yourself a form of cancer, something i'm not eager for others to risk). Soon i might try chemical dedifferentiation of skin cells (thinking on my back or upper arms) followed by some mildly dangerous experiments to test how reliably i can make it turn into other cell types. And while i haven't made good work on it in a while, i've also been trying to make something similar to shimmer from arcane (ideally not addictive or harmful to the user, but most importantly the quick energy burst, decreased pain, and increased regenerative abilities (obviously it won't be anywhere near as dramatic as in the show, so calling it shimmer may not really make sense, but it is where i got the inspiration)).
Then i suppose there's the battery project i was talking about in my last post, and i'm also trying to learn how to make alcohol under my desk (i mean, it's super easy, it just doesn't taste great). There might be a few more things i'm working on but rn i'm super eepy and have talked about a lot already. If this seems like i'm doing a lot or impressive, also note that i'm actively failing out of college (for my own pride: the material is super easy and mostly i already know it, i just can't stand wasting so much of my time doing homework that doesn't help anyone or anything) and not yet working a job, so i have a lot of time and so much free brainspace to think about and do all this. I also work very slowly on each thing because i keep bouncing back and forth between all of them and almost always end up adding new projects before i've finished the old ones and so i almost never see a project all the way through to completion (at least some of the bio projects are just sitting in my body and i am just waiting to see how they turn out in the next 2-3 months, so those necessarily will see completion, even if it's failure). I really hope i see the fusion rocket to completion because if i don't think i'll ever be able to see the earth from afar or the moon from up close.
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rotisseries · 8 months
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yk that military kid camp i went to? gone for like a week? there were so many homeschooled kids it was crazy. and people that skipped grades. like a 14 yr old is a junior and this 15 yr old is starting freshman in college. made me feel 1) dumb 2) better because i feel like i am inherently less awkward and less socially inept than the average homeschooled kid. i do feel bad a little bit. not a lot.
you are less socially inept than the average homeschool kid I promise. this includes me unfortunately. also don't worry about whether or not they're smarter than you I promise something is still wrong with them
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hi i finished my degree last week
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27-royal-teas · 5 months
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hey uhhh immune system what the fuck dude you’ve been failing me for fucking months. do your job bitch
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starbuck · 3 months
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okay, i purchased like four books and a vintage photograph - i’m calm now
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helloidkwhatimdoing-0 · 4 months
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JUST SAT DOING PUZZLES FOR LIKE 2 HOURS STRAIGHT BY ACCIDENT
I HAVE SO MUCH SCHOOLWORK
I DID NOT MEAN TO SIT THERE FOR 2 HOURS
FUCK
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sashimiyas · 1 year
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good night guys. i’m gonna write about mattsun taking us out fishing for the first time
#reinas.inretrograde#i say this even though i just woke up from a nap#and actually have to do some schoolwork while i eat kimchi soup#but just… mattsun holding the boat stead for you#ankles deep in the water. sleepy expression bright bc you’ve woken up with him and decided to come along#where there’s a sharp contrast between your boots. his so dirty and storied with different colors of mud and gunk#and yours pristine and used for the very first time. it still has the size sticker on the left boot#and it’s quiet the whole time. you’re too tired to speak. and there’s only so many times you can comment about the scenery and the weather#but mattsun’s just happy. happy you’ve indulged his boring hobby of sitting atop a body of water with stick and string#he likes to rock the boat so he can hear you yelp when you cling to his shoulders. much similar to the ways he teases you on land#you guys play chopsticks. and then mattsun starts talking about the bio life nearby. provides you the scientific names of trees and flora#he covers his palms over your cheeks when they get too cold. and when that doesn’t work. you two share his single origin#carafe of coffee that you don’t know how to truly appreciate. that caffeine actually puts you to sleep and when you wake#the sun is already above your heads and mattsun is already making his way back to shore#and when you apologize for being lousy company compared to the grandpas he usually fishes with. mattsun just shrugs#he steps out the boat. overalls wet to the knees and he pulls it to the rocks so you can get out safely boots still clean#and he takes everything from your hands. holds the fishing rods. the lunch pack. his newspaper. his empty net and cooler on one side#so the other hand can be free to hold yours and he just says. ‘yeah but none of them are as pretty as you.’#okay actually. i just wrote the mattsun takes you out fishing in the tags by accident#so i guess i’ll go do the other things i mentioned earlier now
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ria-starstruck · 1 year
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>open up youtube
>
>
>whadda hell
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fandom-with-no-hope · 2 years
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Sometimes I think about the stupid little things that changed me forever and I find it really funny like
Why do I like the color green? It's because in 2018 when I first heard about DDLC Monika was my favorite and so I loved Green bc of her eyes
Why is my fav song Hotel California? It's because in 2019 I watched a Let's Play of the fnaf fangame Dsaf 3 and the Salvage Music stuck with me since
There are a lot of exemples of silly little things like that and I find it really funny
#Same energy as panicking when you can't plug your phone bc you watched BBC Sherlock tbh#But it's really funny to me! I don't know why it stuck for so long#Another exemple! The way I draw characters is inspired by an artist I used to follow when I got into fnaf in 2017#His name is Datpink Reptile now btw and his art is absolutely magnificent and he posts a webcomic on Instagram <- check him out if u want#But those things are oh my so stupid I could rant here in the tags for hours#Pokemon time bc of my best friend every Cobaltium I caught since 2015 has been called Coca and every Spiritomb is 1H.KO#Whenever I don't know what to draw I always end up doodling Frisk and Chara even tho I haven't played Undertale in like mf years#And whenever I'm walking alone at night I hum the deleted Ahit song where Hat Kid sings about Subcon forest#I've been doing this for years and thinking about it it's rlly driving me insane I think LMAO#Stupid things that also make no sense to anyone anymore are funny#I have a plushie named Joshua because it's Gordon Freeman's son in hlvrai <- nobody can knows that other than me#I've also got a pink pocket knife named Henry bc of Dsaf and I also had an old camera that I decided to name Tim bc of Marble Hornets#This probably seems cringe tbh but the fact that this has been going on for 3 years and more is actually wow#And don't get me started on the strange man series and how it impacted me on my schoolwork and stuff#I'm in my nostalgic Era don't mind me it's my summer job fucking me up mentally I think -#Isabelle is called Asriel in my phone because we used to play Undertale together when we were younger. And Clara was Chara and I was Frisk#I miss those times#Anyways I'm going to bed I'm working tmr 💀 it's 10pm but Eh whatever#[.txt]#miles mumbles#tommy talks
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born-to-lose · 2 years
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In my depressed era again <3
#for literally no reason ugh i hate it i hate it i hate it#probably a bad mix of overthinking and lovesickness again but what's new#i figured out why i like to do stuff until late at night until i fall asleep lol it's because i don't wanna be left alone with my thoughts#i guess that's why i could go such a long time without you know what... i always had lots of schoolwork to do and didn't have much time to-#-think about this kind of shit and once i don't have anything to do anymore i found myself in bed with a bleeding arm lmao#also let's call this my 'everyone i know hates me and my best friends despise me the most' era#still gonna stay up two more hours because i'm like a damn puppy who waits excitedly for their favorite person to come home from work#at this point i should maybe write all this shit in a diary but like. you know how my rambling posts start so y'all can just ignore#tldr i'm feeling like shit and i can't promise that i won't do something stupid again#i'm just too hung up on things that happened weeks ago but like what if it isn't actually ok now#also i know i'm too clingy and possessive with people i'm really close to but it's just my abandonment issues :(#and i know i fucked things up with other people (friendships and relationships) way too many times so i'm putting all i have into this one#still i feel like it's too much and too little at the same time idk i just Know when i really like someone and then i don't wanna lose them#but at the same time i often drive them away with my excessive love and attention because certain people are like some addiction to me#ok no that's too much already for now sorry#anyways i'm sobbing and shaking and feeling terrible and guilty#oh and unrelated but i nearly got run over by a car today 👍🏻 fucking hate drunk small town students in a mcd's parking lot#mel talks#tw self harm
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llycaons · 2 years
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well after a week packed full of assignments, practicals, errands, and class, I don't know why I'm surprised I'm so tired. but since laying my the bed all day would bore me I'm inventing reasons to go out. the reason is always food because at this time in my academic life, the idea of trying to plan anything more ambitious would reduce me to tears. I'm so very ready to be done with all of this and I wish I had news about the job I applied for but emailing them again makes me sick to my stomach. I kind of want to go home but I can't. also I'm running out of money
in other words
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bobzora · 10 days
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hate drawing backgrounds & not good at them anyway -> oh i'll just 3d model the backgrounds for my game -> wait. i still have to design the locations to model them. mfw
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