#⁽ ❅ ⁾ ‣ wishlist. ― ❛ longing for a blessed future. ❜

[orchideae]

12. Do you prefer writing main or minor canon characters? & 0. Are there any characters you’d like to write with because you think the dynamic (Platonic, Romantic, Familial and so on) between Yelan and them would be fun to explore? @feilyne // Meme: For roleplay muns

12. Do you prefer writing main or minor canon characters? It's a bit of a toss-up, honestly, I seem to go from one to the other. I started RP in general with a very minor (if we can even call her minor, she was no more than a name) character back in the Vampire Diaries RPC in... 2012? Ended up growing in confidence and picked up the main characters a bit as a challenge and then that lingered. Since then, I've written big ones like Jace Herondale (book), Ezio Auditore, an MCU-based Tony Stark, Dorian Pavus, Oberyn Martell, Tifa Lockhart, and too many more; it's a bit of a flip between major and minor. Any I would like to maybe write one day are also a bit of a toss-up, because if you look at my current, most recent and future planned muses, they consist of Yelan, Kafka (Honkai: Star Rail), Guizhong, with Zhongli and Jingliu one day joining them. Again, a mix! I don't shy away from anything really, the character simply needs to poke my brain from the right angle and in the right way.

0. Are there any characters you’d like to write with because you think the dynamic (Platonic, Romantic, Familial and so on) between Yelan and them would be fun to explore? I love how you just added this most casually, bless you. Oof, my wishlist for interactions is much longer than my capability to write is (I lie, I'm just very slow), but considering how easy it is to move this woman I love a tad too much, yeah, there's quite a few. I'm hugely interested in her interactions within the Liyue Qixing, namely Ningguang, Uncle Tian (though I know that this one will be for the meta books) and even Keqing. I'm in love with Perilous Trail, which touches on already established interaction with Yanfei, another one I'm dying to write. The verbal confrontation between Xiao and Yelan in the Chasm has me tearing up seams, it's so good and it touches on such integrally painful parts of both of their characters, it's one of the ones topping the charts (not romantically, mind you). Beyond that, with her personal vendetta against Regrator, I of course crave interactions with Pantalones and Harbingers that can bring her closer to finding him, so namely Childe and Arlecchino (and in that, members of the House of the Hearth, hello Lynette and Lyney; Frem?). Because of the former, I desperately wanted to write with a Wriothesley (hi Min) that has become more than even I anticipated, and in that, it opens up the desire to write with a Neuvillette and also, unexpectedly, a Navia, because Spina di Rosula becomes quite an interesting ally (and in light of Childe's escape, you know). My list is honestly never-ending, I can't subject you to the Inazuman list, and even Sumeru because we know canonically that she travels. Hi, did you expect this to get this long? I'm just excited for so much, okay.

#[ answered: ooc. ] finding her is no easy task either. for it is always she who finds you when she wishes to; not the other way around. #feilyne #[ i'm sure you expected short answers. but short answers are not what you'll receive from me ever. ] #[ it'll never happen. i don't do short even though... i am short. i guess this is me overcompensating... ] #[ for what i miss in my own life: height. i don't know. hi; ily already <3 ]

[eloquentgifs]

Manifesting OFMD second season by writing down my ever growing wishlist of things I want to see in the future:

- LUCIUS IS ALIVE

- Stede Bonnet, berserker era.

- The Queen Anne’s Revenge, either being captured or coming back as the ship Ed left behind when he went to The Revenge.

- The Blockade of Charleston (and make really absurd).

- Anne Bonny and Mary Read (as middle aged women who kinda mirror Ed and Stede, but they did it right)

- Since he was already mentioned in s1, it would make sense introducing Hornigold, maybe as a new antagonist or something.

- A rip off of that wwdits episode with the Vampire Council, except this time is the Pirate Council and its members are pirates from other movies and shows*

- On that note, a really weird episode with every person who has played Blackbeard in recent years**

- More women and more asian characters. And more people speaking their mother tongues.

- Ed finding out about Stede’s death and believing it.

- Ed meeting Mary and getting along.

- Frenchie adopting a cat (and singing a song about it).

- More info about everyone’s pasts.

- I was going to name some people who should make a cameo but I'd never be able to stop.

- I would LOVE having Bartholomew Roberts in the show. He invented the pirate code, he's supposed to have been really into fine things and clothes and tea, didn’t drink alcohol, and he was Welsh (just the other day I saw someone’s post asking for more welsh accents in pirate movies/shows). He could be used for that sitcom trope where one of the otp starts dating someone new who is just like the other half of the otp and everyone notices it but them.

*Possible council members, most of them only possible in my wildest dreams:

- Geena Davis as Morgan from Cutthroat Island

- Someone from Black Sails

- Someone from PoTC (Keira Knightley or Geoffrey Rush would be awesome)

- Robert De Niro as Captain Shakespeare from Stardust

- Cary Elwes or Mandy Patinkin as the Dread Pirate Roberts (now that I think it... I’ll include this up in the previous list). If it was Mandy Patinkin it'd have the bonus point of seeing Jim with Iñigo Montoya <3

- I would literally die if Tim Curry showed up, but it’s highly unlikely due to his health issues. So maybe the puppet they made for him could show up?

- Was Kabir Bedi famous in the US? Because that would also be an awesome cameo (although he must be old as fuck at this point, and I’m aware no one remembers Sandokan these days)

- Eddie Lizzard as Long John Silver from this movie, but bringing in her genderfluid identity.

- JASON ISAACS AS HOOK? (the only reason I’ve watched that movie)

- It seems Rhys Ifans also played Hook. How many Hooks are they?

- There was also a Hook in OUAT, but I’m not a fan.

- I’ve just found out that Brian Blessed voiced the Pirate King here, and since every show or movie is improved by Brian Blessed presence, I’d say yes please.

- Kevin Kline was also a pirate king once.

**People who played Blackbeard (I just did some research for this, and there are way more than I’ve expected):

- Ray Stevenson <3

- Angus MacFadyen

- Mark Bonnar

- Ian McShane

- James Purefoy

- Hugh Jackman ????

- OMG JOHN MALKOVICH???

- The original maori Blackbeard

- This guy in this thing

- This other guy

- Apparently there was also a Blackbeard in OUAT

- I think it’s enough

#I should be working for fucks sake #This show is consuming every moment of my life #Someone send help #Ofmd #Our flag means death #blackbeard #Tons of Blackbeards #Pirates #Whatever

[dshlevensverhaal]

Life's journey wasn't always a clear path. Back in Rumah Kepemimpinan, crafting a life plan felt like staring into the abyss of the future—1 year, 5 years, heck, even 70 years ahead. HAHAH :’> it just feels so warm in my heart to read all the plans I made. 

Imagining it seemed impossible, but one piece of advice stuck in my head from Bang Adji: "Imagine! Use your imagination and make it happen!"  So, from that imagination, wishlists emerged and silently turned into actions. 

Years later, it's been an incredible tool, bringing clarity to my values, aspirations, and long-term goals. 🌟🗺️ Tracking progress over time, understanding where I'm headed, it's the key to living a purpose-driven life and finding meaning in daily activities.

Looking back, plans set in 2019 only came to reality in 2023, and that's okay. Life plans provide a sense of direction amidst life's twists and turns. Ever felt the pain of unmet expectations? Of course, it's a frequent story, yet somehow reality often outshines our plans. Praises to Allah for unexpected blessings, teaching the art of acknowledging life's dynamism. Embracing flexibility becomes a mindset, a space for plan adjustments.

Planning is essential, but life's journey isn't always linear. Focus on what you can control. Build resilience—your superhero gear for bouncing back from hurdles, nurturing growth and strength.

Now, when asked about 2024 plans? Yeaa, I’m working on that! Excitement bubbles for the journey ahead. Bismillah, let’s try to live a life well-live!!

#diceritainda #livingandlovingmylifeinswiss #november2023day26

[solatgif]

TGIF: Roundup for November 25, 2022

I asked Sara Kyoungah White, senior editor of the Lausanne Movement, to record a video reading of her beautiful essay Praying Before Meals like the Men of Gondor. On behalf of the SOLA Digital Admin Team, we hope you have a happy Thanksgiving weekend!

Do you have a plan for Advent? This holiday season, join SOLA Network on Substack. I’ll send you a free daily devotion to help prepare your heart for Christmas. And in case you missed it, find over 30 videos in our new YouTube playlist: The Asian American Church.

This newsletter is one of the many ways you can keep in touch with us. Find us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. For more, check out my Asian American Worship Leaders Facebook group and TGIF Playlist on Spotify. You can reach me on Twitter and Instagram.

Enter to win these excellent books! Reviews in the section below. Special thanks to The Good Book Company for sponsoring our giveaway, presented in partnership with my newsletters for @diveindigdeep and FCBC Walnut.

Articles From Around The Web  

Renee Zou: God or Money

“If we do not practice contentment, we simply cannot make bold decisions for the gospel.”

Related: Who Would Want To Be Poor? Inspired By “Parasite” by Hannah Chao

Wei-Han Kuan: Redeeming Babel

“A big part of my job has been convincing the local church that the Great Commission truly applies to them.”

Related: The Present and Future of the Immigrant Church: An Interview with John J. Oh by Daniel K. Eng

Steven Lee: The Embattled Pastor: How to Navigate Conflict and Criticism

“Nothing will undermine leadership more quickly than selfishness and a lack of humility.”

Related: Four Things Pastors Wish Their Churches Knew About Them Right Now by Steve S. Chang

Do you have a plan for Advent? This holiday season, join SOLA Network on Substack. I’ll send you a free daily devotion to help prepare your heart for Christmas.

Books, Podcasts, Music, And More

ACBC: The Church behind Barbed Wire

Dale Johnson interviews Tom Sugimura: What can we learn from the issues with counseling and soul care that developed during the Japanese American Internment in World War II?

Related: The Church Behind Barbed Wire: The Stories of Japanese American Christians in Internment Camps by Tom Sugimura

Christianity Today: Ekstasis Autumn Collection

Caroline Greb: “The Autumn Collection’s essays press into the mysterious, nostalgic longing of the season, calling us to pay attention to Christ’s providential hand even as the last of the leaves fall around us and the air grows chilled.”

Related: How to Support Creatives and Interact with Culture: An Interview with Jason Min by Kevin Yi and Jason Chao

Aaron Lee: Related Works

Book Reviews: What Cannot Be Lost by Melissa Zaldivar, All About Christmas by Alison Mitchell, Seek and Find: The First Christmas by Sarah and Andre Parker, The Ultimate Christmas Wishlist by Rico Tice. Listen to our TGIF playlist on Spotify. Join my Asian American Worship Leaders Facebook group.

Subscribe to our podcast for our interviews, messages, and article reads! Available for free on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and YouTube.

Featured This Week On SOLA Network

Sara Kyoungah White: Praying Before Meals like the Men of Gondor

“What would it look like for our mealtime prayers to become, most of all, an expression of longing for the presence of God?”

Aaron Lee: “Invitations to Abundance”: An Interview with Alicia J. Akins

“What does it mean that God is enough when it seems like I don’t have enough?”

Tom Sugimura: Why I’m Thankful for the Chinese Immigrant Church

“Many today question the need for ethno-specific churches in multicultural America, but I have many reasons to still be grateful for the Chinese American church. If the Lord has called you to serve in a Chinese American church, let me encourage you to explore the history of its blessings.”

TGIF: Roundup for November 18, 2022

Homesick College Student, the Lord Sees You / What is a Bible Dictionary and How Do I Use It? / On the Streets of China, the Cross Shone Bright / Consumerism and Church Commitment / Let the Nations Be Glad! — Thirty Years Later

General disclaimer: Our link roundups are not endorsements of the positions or lives of the authors.

[daechwitatamic]

Ok I'm fully rested and ready to tell you all my favorite parts of the last chapter.

1) "I never felt like I didn't know you." YES! We all really needed to hear this. I was worried initally Taehyung might confirm Nina's comment. I felt so frustrated bc even though she was hesitant I thought there were so many genuine moments we saw OC fight against her survival instincts and push herself out of her comfort zone to share parts of herself, and I'm so happy Taehyung saw that. It's ok to not feel comfortable opening up to someone until trust is established and Davis and Nina proved that they were not worthy of earning OCs trust so they have no right to gaslight her into thinking she was the cause for their treacherous actions. Do you see OC and Nina ever making up or do you think she will learn its best to let Nina go?

2) "An outline of the boy who sees you, knows you, loves you." Ugh this might be favorite line of the whole series.

3) "Since Strindberg!" Omg the way I can picture irl Taehyung doing the exact same thing in this moment. It reminds me of the "medic! medic!" moments from Run BTS. I remember you saying you only write for Taehyung right now bc you feel most comfortable writing in his voice and this was a moment where I felt your ability to capture his playful but earnest spirit really shone through.

4) The smut scene at the end was so good! When they first went to the basement I was like really? On the pong table? After that sweet love confession? But then per usual you surprised us with a switch up and a steamy but still very sweet scene! I love how you pepper in realistic moments of silliness or awkwardness during these scenes, like OC getting a leg cramp a few chapters earlier. It makes them feel so much more real than so much of the smut out there that sometimes describes things that are not even physically possible lol.

5) And lastly Taehyungs final words. Just the perfect ending moment that was romantic in all the right ways while still being authentic. And don't get me started with the fact that the first thing he called her in that list was smart. Swoon.

And yes 😱 you totally had me going for a moment! I was like girl did you not just say "what was it all for??"

I'm so sad this series is over but so excited for more CF drabbles and Trip! I can't wait to reread the whole series again once I start missing it and find more of the little threads you've woven throughout that I probably didn't see the first time. And in the meantime will start making my wishlist of WWH drabble requests.

Ty author for the wonderful story! I hope you are not overwhelmed by my long and frequent messages, I just love your work and want to give back even a fraction of the joy you give us readers! 💕

🌴

Ughhhhh 🌴anon i love you 😭😭😭😭😭😭

and 2. kind of go together. Something I wanted to convey in WWH is that he REALLY *knows her*. Bad, good, he GETS it. And that’s partly him, but it’s partly her LETTING him, despite everything, despite every instinct telling her to throw up walls. And as you talked abt last time - how she extends so much grace to him? Once he’s cooled down, in his heart he extends the same grace to her and that’s something that makes me SO emotional abt these two.

Honestly, as an adult person who has walked away from MULTIPLE toxic friendships and came out stronger for it, no, I don’t see oc and Nina reconciling. OC deserves better from her friends, and she’s learning through this story to realize her worth. I made my ride or dies in college, and i see that future for oc, kiko, and brig.

bless you for saying this 😭😭😭 the taetae i know and love is SILLY and him teasing her up through the last second feels so true to me 🥺🥺🥺

4. Ty for complimenting the smut bc it still feels so difficult to write 😭🫣🫣🫣 jimin voice, I’m shhyyyyyyy 🫣🫣🫣

5. Fr fr i feel like if you asked wwh!tae what attracts him to oc his #1 answer would be that big sexy brain!!!!! Also of course he has to tease her even then “look how easy this is” I LOVE HIM 😭😭

6. POV requests go up tmrw morning! Looking forward to it! Thank YOU for these amazing reviews. I could never be overwhelmed, i wish every reader did this. I think most authors would agree, getting to talk with ppl abt their thoughts and reactions to what we create is honestly the dream.

#🌴 anon #answered #wwh replies

[snzhnrise]

TSARITSA TAGS.

⁽ ❅ ⁾  ‣ visage.  ―  ❛ a gentle heart must remain frozen to bring change. ❜ ⁽ ❅ ⁾  ‣ headcanons.  ―  ❛ the story longs for the fall of a midnight snow. ❜ ⁽ ❅ ⁾  ‣ musings.  ―  ❛ await for my requiem’s last winter song before drowning in spring. ❜ ⁽ ❅ ⁾  ‣ music.  ―  ❛ the whispers of the snowland’s core. ❜ ⁽ ❅ ⁾  ‣ wardrobe.  ―  ❛ appear before your subject as her imperial majesty. ❜ ⁽ ❅ ⁾  ‣ mannerism.  ―  ❛ atone for the sins of the past through elegance of your rule. ❜ ⁽ ❅ ⁾  ‣ skills.  ―  ❛ when error strikes you must stand up twice; when it hits and when it passes. ❜ ⁽ ❅ ⁾  ‣ starter call.  ―  ❛ you’ve been granted an audience with the tsaritsa. ❜ ⁽ ❅ ⁾  ‣ inbox call.  ―  ❛ you must respond to her call. ❜ ⁽ ❅ ⁾  ‣ plotting call.  ―  ❛ the plan to rebel must be carried out. ❜ ⁽ ❅ ⁾  ‣ in character.  ―  ❛ snowstorm’s pained voice rings within your head as snowflakes melt. ❜ ⁽ ❅ ⁾  ‣ crack.  ―  ❛ barbatos is not allowed. ❜ ⁽ ❅ ⁾  ‣ wishlist.  ―  ❛ longing for a blessed future. ❜ ⁽ ❅ ⁾  ‣ ship musings.  ―  ❛ when the old world burns away promise you’ll be there to start it anew. ❜ ⁽ ❅ ⁾  ‣ aesthetics.  ―  ❛ within deep forests echoes the swan lake’s last song. ❜ ⁽ ❅ ⁾  ‣ memes.  ―  ❛ the bringers of what was long lost. ❜ ⁽ ❅ ⁾  ‣ open.  ―  ❛ witness her before the destined fall. ❜ ⁽ ❅ ⁾  ‣ out of character.

#⁽ ❅ ⁾ ‣ visage. ― ❛ a gentle heart must remain frozen to bring change. ❜ #⁽ ❅ ⁾ ‣ headcanons. ― ❛ the story longs for the fall of a midnight snow. ❜ #⁽ ❅ ⁾ ‣ musings. ― ❛ await for my requiem’s last winter song before drowning in spring. ❜ #⁽ ❅ ⁾ ‣ music. ― ❛ the whispers of the snowland’s core. ❜ #⁽ ❅ ⁾ ‣ wardrobe. ― ❛ appear before your subject as her imperial majesty. ❜ #⁽ ❅ ⁾ ‣ mannerism. ― ❛ atone for the sins of the past through elegance of your rule. ❜ #⁽ ❅ ⁾ ‣ skills. ― ❛ when error strikes you must stand up twice; when it hits and when it passes. ❜ #⁽ ❅ ⁾ ‣ starter call. ― ❛ you’ve been granted an audience with the tsaritsa. ❜ #⁽ ❅ ⁾ ‣ inbox call. ― ❛ you must respond to her call. ❜ #⁽ ❅ ⁾ ‣ plotting call. ― ❛ the plan to rebel must be carried out. ❜ #⁽ ❅ ⁾ ‣ in character. ― ❛ snowstorm’s pained voice rings within your head as snowflakes melt. ❜ #⁽ ❅ ⁾ ‣ crack. ― ❛ barbatos is not allowed. ❜ #⁽ ❅ ⁾ ‣ wishlist. ― ❛ longing for a blessed future. ❜ #⁽ ❅ ⁾ ‣ ship musings. ― ❛ when the old world burns away promise you’ll be there to start it anew. ❜ #⁽ ❅ ⁾ ‣ aesthetics. ― ❛ within deep forests echoes the swan lake’s last song. ❜ #⁽ ❅ ⁾ ‣ memes. ― ❛ the bringers of what was long lost. ❜ #⁽ ❅ ⁾ ‣ open. ― ❛ witness her before the destined fall. ❜ #⁽ ❅ ⁾ ‣ out of character.

[rkived]

━ CHASING PAVEMENTS 03 | JJK

↳ PAIRING: dad!jk/married!jk/bff!jk x reader 

↳ GENRE/TAGS: f2l, angst, unrequited feelings, cheating, future smut

↳ WARNINGS: (for this chapter) time jumps, mention of divorce, blood mention ((but like nothing serious)), forced kisses, just sad stuff like this is sad guys lol

↳ WORD COUNT: 8.6k

↳ EXCERPT: ‘‘Jungkook doesn’t want to think this is the end, maybe it’s that stupid voice inside his head that always holds on to things that he knows he should let go of. But he can’t just let go of this and move on. He doesn’t remember what life was like before you and he sure as hell does not want to know what it’ll be like without you.’’

↳ A/N: getting this chapter out has been ((a pain in the ass)) tough !! & cp was supposed to end with this chapter but that was not realistic at all lmao but i do hope u like this n i’ll try to get pt4 quickly as possible <3 thx

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 

‘‘Okay everyone, let’s switch to the upward facing dog!’’

You really don’t want to be here. There’s a lot of stuff running through your head right now that are more important than focusing on yoga positions. You wish you were thinking about grocery shopping or paying that month’s bills. 

Instead, you’re still stuck on the downward facing dog as your mind tells you you’re an idiot, a homewrecker and most importantly, a terrible friend. 

‘‘Y/N, upward facing dog!’’ The instructor, Namjoon, reminds you with a gentle smile as he notices you haven’t switched positions like the rest of the class. You nod and smoothly place your body as he had taught in the classes before.

The only reason why you came to your Saturday morning yoga class was because even with all that happened last night, you wanted to feel a sense of normality. Like you’re capable of going on about your life like nothing had happened.

That’s selfish and stupid because as much as you tried, every single moment since you woke up revolved around last night.

From the moment you opened your eyes, noticing Sunhi wasn’t sleeping next to you, snuggled into your chest like you had last remembered her to be before she fell asleep and you following soon after. 

And as your heart beat faster at the thought of finding her in her dad’s arms instead, watching Saturday morning cartoons on the T.V in your living room; you instead found the place neat and tidy. The messy pillows on your couch where placed like they hadn’t even been moved to begin with, like no one besides you had been in the apartment the night before. 

Somehow he managed to do all of this without you even noticing. You wondered at what time he woke up, cleaned up, took Sunhi without making any fuss and left, all before your 7 AM alarm could wake you up.

He even made you breakfast too. Some eggs, bacon and toast. 

‘‘Y/N, your legs are touching the mat.’’ Namjoon notes as he stands in front of you, ‘‘Let’s focus, okay?’’

You nod once again, though this time a little more embarrassed. If only you could explain to your instructor why you’re so distracted. 

No messages either. No text explaining why he had to leave so early. No sticky note placed on your fridge door about how he made you breakfast. No slight shake to your sleeping body to let you know that he’d be taking Sunhi. Nothing. 

Would’ve you liked that, though? 

You could say yes because he’s your friend and it’s only fair since you took care of his daughter the night before. 

But it’s not right, because friends don’t kiss each other, let alone the way you had let him kiss you and touch you while his daughter slept in your room and his wife waited for both of them at home.

There was a war going on inside you between your brain and your heart. 

Your heart, being a weak ass bitch, was telling you about how exciting everything was. How nice it felt to have Jungkook tell you that he wanted to be with you, that he no longer felt happy with his wife, how perfectly his lips encaptured your own and how you could still feel them on you. 

But your brain, obviously being the logical one between the two, reminded you about how wrong it was. You had never wanted to be placed in a position of being ‘‘the other woman’’. That even though you might not like Jiwoo and had spent years hoping your friend would someday wake up and realize this too, this didn’t feel right. 

‘‘Alright, let’s drink some water now.’’ Namjoon announces, clasping his hands together and showing off that dimple that most ─if not all─ of the students went heart eyes over. 

You take the time to check your phone instead, you don’t need the water because you didn’t do shit anyway. There’s no text from Minji, who you’re scared will somehow, by the grace of everything that’s holy, find out about what you did. No text from Jungkook either and you’re wondering why he hasn’t bothered to send one. 

Instead, there’s a text from Taehyung and you mutter a curse. 

[8:34 AM] Taehyung: hey y/n! i’m sure you’re in your yoga class rn but i wanted to see if maybe you’d be up for lunch at my place? i’ll try and cook something nice :) 

Ah, of course that throughout all of this you forgot about Taehyung. 

The sweet guy who had stuck around only for you to pay him back by kissing your best friend, the one Taehyung had to pretend wasn’t bothered by his interruption that night a few weeks ago. 

God, you do have a way to fuck things up for yourself. 

You don’t know how long you stood there thinking what to reply to him, but it definitely was for a few minutes because you only came back to reality once you heard your name being called once by the instructor.

‘‘Y/N,’’ Namjoon repeats and you look over at him with a puzzled look, ‘‘we’re starting again, if you’d like to join us.’’ There’s that smile again. Bless his patience, you wonder if he’s actually this calm because of yoga or he’s just really good at pretending. 

You look back down at your phone, the screen displaying a text that’s still waiting to be replied to. 

‘‘I uhm─I gotta go, sorry.’’ You quickly reply, making Namjoon look at you with wide eyes, but he makes no effort to stop you either. 

And as quickly as you can, you collect your belongings before you’re heading out the door without saying goodbye. 

Either you quit yoga altogether or just apologize to Namjoon like a grownup next Saturday. Whatever it is, you’re not thinking about what decision to make about your little extracurricular right now. 

There’s only so much you can handle at a time.

Jungkook is lucky that Jiwoo works Saturday mornings because with her away, he’s able to enter his house without having to sneak in. 

He opens the door wide, making way for him and a slightly awake Sunhi in his arms. He drops the keys on the counter without caring about the noise it makes. He doesn’t even have to pretend like he’s walking on glass, his boots are allowed to hit the wooden floor without a care in the world. 

The place doesn’t look much different from what he had left it like the day before. There’s only a dirty glass on the sink, a product of Jiwoo’s daily breakfast smoothies and since she’s always in a rush she never has time to clean it up. 

‘‘Are you still sleepy, pumpkin?’’ he quietly asks his daughter and she nods, he doesn’t blame her since he’s the one who woke her up at 6 AM. ‘‘Alright, I’ll take you to your bed,” he says, a kiss on her head following shortly after. 

He wonders if Jiwoo enjoyed herself last night. No daughter and no husband, sounds like an ideal night for her. It’s not like she was worried about their whereabouts either, considering she hadn’t even bothered to text him wondering why they hadn’t come home. 

If Jungkook’s supposed to feel guilty, he isn’t. 

He’s heard stories before about how there’s a voice in your head constantly reminding you about what you did and how wrong it is. That he’ll be unable to sleep knowing he cheated on his wife while she lies next to him. That he won’t be able to look at her again without feeling remorse all over him.

And when Jiwoo returns home at noon, there’s none of that at all. He offers her a nod of acknowledgement once she enters the living room to find him sitting with his laptop, watching through old videos that he took years back. 

She puts her index finger up, telling him to give her a minute. She’s on a phone call with a friend of hers that Jungkook can only conclude is Hyeri, who he probably met at some point but can’t remember what her face looked like. 

‘‘I know! Like, why do you have to be such a bitch about it? We get that you’re sucking the boss’s dick in private, so you might as well─’’

Jiwoo’s voice is too distracting and so, Jungkook places his earphones in to hear what this video’s audio is about. Once he does, he hits play and the audio is loud enough to drown out Jiwoo’s whining. 

‘‘Guess who came to see you, Pumpkin?’’ 

Jungkook gasps as he remembers this was part of a series of videos he was supposed to show Sunhi once she was old enough to understand them. He recorded a few until he was drowning in work to even grab his camera again. It saddens him that he wasn’t able to continue.

He decides he’ll show them to her later because right now Sunhi is too busy playing with her dolls inside her room to even pay attention to him.

‘‘It’s auntie Y/N! And she came bearing gifts,’’ Jungkook smiles, switching the focus on you ‘‘is that a Fisher Price Taco Tuesday toy set that I see?’’ he wonders in a fake curious tone as you look at him with narrowed eyes ‘‘I wonder how she knew you wanted that, Sunhi. It’s not like your dad had it on his Amazon wishlist or anything.’’

‘‘Very funny.’’ You mumble, handing him the toys so you could go ahead and grab a tiny three-month-old Sunhi from the bed ‘‘Aren’t you the cutest little bean in this entire world? Aren’t you?’’ you coo at the little girl, who looks at you with wide eyes and you’re forced to blink a couple of times because she looks just like him. 

‘‘Of course she is, she’s my spitting image!’’ Jungkook confirms your thought as he grabs Sunhi’s cheek gently with his fingers and squeezes, making the baby giggle.

You side-eye him and then focus your attention back on the baby in your hands, ‘‘No, you’re not, Sunhi. Your daddy is not cute at all.’’ 

‘‘You’re gonna make me put this camera down and have a discussion about this.’’ 

Jungkook chuckles at the footage, noticing how he made you smile because of his comment. The video isn’t long, it’s mostly you cooing to a then tiny Sunhi, giggling at the way you would nuzzle your nose into her belly as Jungkook laughed behind the camera. 

‘‘Jungkook, look at her!’’ You practically squeal as Sunhi grabs your thumb with her little hand ‘‘Oh my gosh, I think I’m gonna cry.’’ 

He laughs as he does a close-up of his daughter holding on to your finger, until he hears the little sniffle you let out and the camera is now focused on you silently wiping a tear away. 

‘‘Wait, you’re actually crying?’’ Jungkook asks in disbelief and you turn to look at him to find the lens focused on you ‘‘Sunhi, you’re Auntie Y/N loves you so much that she’s crying! How cute.’’ 

‘‘You’re so dumb, seriously.’’ you mumble with a frown, going back to gawking at the baby still holding on to your thumb. 

Jungkook sighs, ‘‘I’m gonna have to bleep that out, y’know?’’

You laugh and shrug your shoulders, caressing Sunhi’s stomach. Jungkook whispers ‘cute’, so soft that you’re unable to hear it.

Once it ends, Jungkook is able to see his smiling face as it reflects on the black screen and it’s only then he realized he’d been grinning the whole time. Now his ears are filled with Jiwoo talking over the phone and his smile goes back to a straight line. 

Jungkook closes the video and clicks on the next one, hoping that it’s one that involves you as well. He’s unable to press play because Jiwoo is suddenly standing in front of him, arms crossed and she’s no longer talking on her phone. 

‘‘Yes?’’ He asks, removing an earbud to show her she has his full attention.

‘‘So, where were you last night?’’ 

Jungkook’s slightly surprised that she cares. He tends to forget there’s still some humanity left in her after all, ‘‘At Y/N’s.’’ he answers with a shrug, eyes going back to stare at the screen of his laptop. 

Jiwoo scoffs and he’s forced to look at her again, eyebrow slightly raised. He hopes she doesn’t start because it’s too early and it’s a Saturday. But Jiwoo doesn’t like taking breaks like he does.

‘‘I thought you said that she wasn’t going to be able to take care of Sunhi on Fridays.’’ There’s bitterness in her tone, ‘‘so, what were you doing there?’’ 

Jungkook understands where Jiwoo’s curiosity comes from, but it’s strange. She’s never been the type to ask where he’s been, what he’s doing with Sunhi while she’s not around ─which is practically all the time─ and doesn’t care for your business either. 

‘‘I just stopped by.’’ Jungkook mutters, stroking the nape of his neck in an attempt to not seem suspicious, ‘‘We hung out and Sunhi fell asleep, she didn’t wanna come back home.’’ 

And that’s true, Jiwoo narrows her eyes at him as if she’s debating whether or not to believe him and the excuse of their sleeping daughter. She doesn’t know Sunhi that well to conclude if it’s possible or not. 

‘‘And what, did you all three sleep together in the same bed? Playing family, maybe?’’ 

Jungkook looks at her in disbelief. This is a first. 

‘‘What?’’ Is all he’s able to muster because he’s genuinely shocked at her accusation. 

Jiwoo rolls her eyes, ‘‘Oh, please. Like I’m going to buy that hanging out bullshit.’’ Jungkook looks like a deer stuck in headlights and she chuckles, ‘‘Is what I give to you not enough?’’ 

‘‘I─what are you on about?’’ 

He figures this is her picking a fight because he wasn’t around yesterday to attend her needs like he usually does every Friday night. But Jungkook’s mind is quick to remind him of what he did and it’d be really ironic if he denies Jiwoo’s accusations, that for the first time are actually true. 

‘‘I carried around that girl for nine months, ruined my body because of her, all for you to pick someone else over me?’’ Jiwoo’s voice is raised a little higher and Jungkook can’t help but look over at Sunhi’s bedroom door and hope his daughter is not listening to anything coming from the living room. ‘‘I knew I should’ve never trusted her, I always knew your friendship with her was fucking weird.’’

Jungkook doesn’t want to raise his voice either. It’s not going to get them anywhere. But he can’t stand the way she’s speaking about his daughter and you, she’s never crossed those boundaries before. 

‘‘Are you insane? How can you talk about your daughter like she’s nothing?’’ Jungkook spats out, ‘‘I’ve always been thankful for what you did, I know the shit you went through to bring her into this world.’’ 

But Jiwoo doesn’t care about how loud she’s being, ‘‘You’re so thankful you pay me back by fucking your best friend? While I’m alone over here waiting for you to come back?’’

Jungkook has to take a deep breath and close his eyes for a second, before he loses it. 

He clears his throat, ‘‘Jiwoo, I have always chosen you. Always. I did back when I was a sophomore, I did it when I asked you to marry me, and I did it when I chose you to be the mother of my children. So, I don’t know what─’’

‘‘I don’t give a flying fuck if you chose me! I was supposed to be all of that either way, Jungkook.’’ She interjects.

Was she, though? Of course, she was his girlfriend then. It would make sense that she’d be the one to end up marrying him, having his kids and living the happy life everyone guaranteed he’d live alongside her. 

But he hasn’t been thinking about the choices he ended up taking back then. Instead, he’s been wondering about the ‘what if’s and Jiwoo isn’t in any of them. 

Jungkook’s been daydreaming for months now about how different his life would’ve turned out if he had never asked the pretty girl in his class all those years back and instead had focused his attention somewhere else. Or someone else.. 

‘‘Are you going to answer me?’’ Jiwoo’s stern voice brings him back to the reality he hates, ‘‘Were you going to pick me or was I a second choice?’’ She slowly asks, giving him an opportunity to digest every single word she spoke. 

‘‘You weren’t a second choice,’’ he mumbles and his gaze has faltered and instead focused back on the screen of his laptop. Clicking on a video randomly, trying to distract himself from the situation at hand. Hoping that whatever he says is enough for Jiwoo to leave him alone. 

It doesn’t help that the video automatically plays and it’s you on the first frame, a big smile as you hold Sunhi towards the camera, making her wiggle in your arms. 

What if. 

‘‘Show me that you love me, then.’’

The video still plays as Jungkook looks back at Jiwoo standing right in front of him, her arms are still crossed, but the look on her face is different. Her brows are no longer furrowed and Jungkook might be wrong, but he thinks her eyes look glossy. 

He doesn’t act quickly enough and she takes the laptop from him, closing it before she can even notice what is it that has garnered his attention. Jiwoo straddles his lap and he jumps slightly at the action, placing her arms around his neck as she looks at him with innocent eyes. 

If he didn’t know her, he would’ve believed them. 

‘‘Jiwoo, let’s not─’’ 

‘‘I missed you yesterday,’’ she interjects in a whisper ‘‘show me that you love me right now.’’ 

Her lips latch onto his neck, biting and sucking on the skin as he tries to wriggle himself out of her hold, but her hands push at his chest so he can stay still. 

‘‘C’mon,’’ she mumbles ‘‘show me.’’ She’s pleading by then.

He feels nothing. There’s no electricity in Jiwoo’s kisses. No tingles on his back, no goosebumps on his skin, no fireworks going off. If anything, everytime her lips meet his skin it feels bitter, like they don’t belong there at all. 

‘‘Daddy, come please!’’ The muffled voice of Sunhi inside her room interrupts the one-sided moment and Jungkook is silently thanking her. 

Jiwoo doesn’t make an effort to move as she keeps kissing on all the exposed skin he has to offer. Jungkook sighs in frustration as he forces her off him, making her land beside him with an astonished expression.

Her hands tighten into fists as she looks at him like he’s gone insane, ‘‘What the fuck is wrong with you?’’ She asks in disbelief.

Jungkook blinks, ‘‘Did you─?’’ He gestures with his finger over to his daughter’s room, ‘‘Sunhi is calling me.’’ 

His wife scoffs, crossing her arms over her chest again, ‘‘Of course, you always go running when it comes to her.’’ 

Contrary to his belief, there is no humanity left in Jiwoo at all. She’s just really good at pretending like she cares so she can get her way. This is the last time Jungkook falls for this trick.

Jungkook opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. He repeats this action a few times, to stammer something out. Anything. But there’s nothing besides the expecting silence of his wife as she chuckles incredulously. Jungkook ignores this and turns around, a second away from opening Sunhi’s bedroom door─

‘‘You’re a waste of a husband.’’ Jiwoo sneered. 

His hand drops from the door handle and he sighs, taking a deep breath in and out.

He looks back at her, ‘‘You know what, Jiwoo? I wasn’t lying when I said you weren’t my second choice.’’ he informs and her eyebrow raises up ‘‘But you aren’t my first choice now either.’’

Jiwoo scowls and heaves in anger, ready to let hell loose on him ‘‘I knew that who─’’

‘‘It’s Sunhi,’’ he states and Jiwoo closes her mouth before she can even finish her sentence. ‘‘Ever since I knew you were pregnant with her, she’s been at the top of my list and she’ll always be there. I don’t care what you do or say to me, I really don’t. You don’t love me, Jiwoo.’’

At the accusation, her eyes soften and she’s standing up to argue that it’s not true, but Jungkook raises his hand in a motion to stop her. 

‘‘You don’t love me and I don’t love you.’’ 

Jungkook expected her to start yelling at him like she usually did, but Jiwoo’s rendered speechless on her spot as she stares at him, blinking rapidly. 

‘‘I don’t love you,’’ he repeats ‘‘and I haven’t loved you for a while now. I don’t remember the last time my heart raced up when I saw you or when I stopped enjoying kissing you. And I’m sorry, because I should’ve told you instead of pretending like I did.’’ 

Jiwoo’s motionless as she takes all of his words in. 

‘‘But I did it for her because I didn’t want her to hate me if you ever left. But that was a dumb idea because you don’t care about Sunhi. And frankly, I doubt she cares about you either. She never speaks about you, never asks about you, she’s used to you not being here even if you sort of are.’’ 

Jungkook places his hand over the doorknob once again and Jiwoo grimaces.

‘‘I should’ve never begged you to come back. I should’ve thought about what you wanted and it’s always been clear to me what that is,’’ Jungkook swallows the knot he feels in his throat ‘‘and it’s never been Sunhi or me.’’

‘‘Jungkook.’’

He thinks she’s about to tell him how sorry she is. That she’ll recognize how heartless she’s been and how she not only failed him, but failed their daughter too. Maybe beg for a final try at their relationship as she promises she’ll change this time. 

Jungkook hums and spares her one last glance.

Jiwoo has a stoic expression on her face and she speaks under her breath, but clear enough for him to hear, ‘‘Sign the papers when you get them.’’

You expect Minji to just jump at you any minute now because if looks could kill, you’d be dead already. Maybe you should’ve pretended like you weren’t home and let Minji knock on your door until she’d give up, but even you knew better than that. 

It was better to face her now than to deal with her accumulated wrath later.

‘‘When were you going to tell me?’’ She suddenly asks and it takes you by surprise because it had been way too silent since you had let her in.

Minji works like a predator, she attacks when you least expect it and right now you definitely feel like you’re about to be eaten. 

‘‘I─uh…’’ 

She sighs and you can see the disappointment in her face, ‘‘Were you going to tell me at all?’’ 

You nod instead, not trusting yourself enough to speak at the moment. 

It had been a week since the event in your living room and it makes you shift uncomfortably in your chair as you stare at your friend, who’s sitting on the couch where everything went down. 

‘‘Then why did I have to find out through Taehyung?’’ She asks in a disappointed tone. 

You figured he’d tell her. It’s not like you asked him not to do so, but you had silently prayed that the universe was on your side on this one and by some unknown reason they wouldn’t bump into each other at work and Minji, like she usually did, wouldn’t ask him about you. Because if she did, then he’d have to explain how you had broken the news that you had made out with your best friend; the one Minji despised with her soul. 

A sigh escapes your lips as you lower your head with shame.

You were supposed to tell her, but every time you took your phone and tried to dial or text her, your nerves got the best of you and ended up chickening out, promising that you’d do it the next day. Then the next day. And the next day. 

It’s not like you’re scared of Minji─well, maybe only slightly. But you know the effort she put into getting you to go out and meet someone new, someone that’s not married and not a father. She’s known Taehyung for so long, probably even told him how much of a good girl you were to convince him to take you out, only for you to end up throwing all of that in the trash like it was nothing. 

Minji’s also spent years pushing you to move on from your friendship with Jungkook. Not just because she doesn’t like him, but because she’s always felt like he’s held you back while he’s made his way in life. You’ve stuck behind him making sure that he’s okay and happy, forgetting about yourself in the process. 

‘‘I’m not angry at you,’’ she speaks softly, making you look up at her with surprise. ‘‘I just─He gave you a second chance, Y/N. Why did you say no?’’ Her words are laced with curiosity and you know that she’s asking because even Taehyung wasn’t able to give her an answer to this question. 

Your bottom lip trembles and you’re trying your hardest not to burst into tears in front of him. You can’t and you won’t. How even dare you to do that? 

‘‘I’m sorry,’’ you whisper and your eyes shift down to the wooden floor of his apartment. ‘‘I’m sorry, Taehyung.’’ You repeat, knowing it’s not enough.

Taehyung gulps and his crossed arms quickly fall to his sides as he realizes that, whatever anger he felt when you told him about what you did, was no longer there the moment he saw how genuinely apologetic you looked. 

‘‘I’m an idiot, I know.’’ You continue, rubbing your clammy hands into the material of your leggings and it does nothing to dry them. ‘‘I’m sorry, Taehyung.’’

He knows he shouldn't be so easily swayed by your apology, but he can’t help but want to cradle you in his arms. And when he does, your eyebrows raise in surprise as you gasp because you weren’t expecting this. 

You expected anger, insults thrown out about how you’re a slut and being kicked out of his apartment with him telling you to never contact him again. 

Taehyung’s still sweet even when his heart is getting broken. 

‘‘It’s okay,’’ he whispers into your hair as one of his hands runs up and down your back ‘‘we can work this out, yeah?’’ 

You bite the tip of your tongue as you take his words in, feeling your heart speeding up even faster than what it was when you spilled everything out on him. Maybe you would’ve preferred him getting angry than his current reaction.

‘‘It’s not like we were exclusive, right?’’ Taehyung chuckles, but it feels like he’s convincing himself that that was the reason as to why it happened. ‘‘Let’s forget it, seriously.’’

A shaky sigh comes out of your mouth as your arms, that hadn’t reciprocated his hug, gain the strength to separate yourself from him. He looks taken aback, but he’s waiting for you to reply in agreement because, yes, you could work this out if you try hard enough. 

But that’s not realistic. Pretending like you never kissed Jungkook is not realistic at all, because it’s sad to admit that you won’t be able to kiss Taehyung again without thinking about your best friend in the back of your head as you’re reminded that not only did you let him kiss you, but you reciprocated and not only did you reciprocate, but you liked it a little too much. 

‘‘Y/N,’’ he speaks up, snapping you from your thoughts,‘‘please, let’s just try.’’ He silently asks─no, begs. 

The barking of his dog, Yeontan, startles you as you come to stare at the little dog at the feet of his owner, who at the moment isn’t interested to see what he wants. You never told Taehyung, but the teacup pomeranian was extremely overprotective of him. 

He’s barking at you like you’re hurting his owner and maybe you aren’t physically doing any damage, but you know that you’re about to break his heart all over again.

��‘I-I…,’’ you blink as you try to focus on the man in front of you and not the dog on the ground, ‘‘I’m sorry, I can’t.’’ 

Yeontan’s barks increase and Taehyung is at a loss for words to beg you to stay and talk things through. You can still hear the dog’s incessant barking as you make your way down the hall and that’s when the tears you were holding finally fall down. 

‘‘Taehyung’s a nice guy, Y/N. He forgave you and you just left?’’ Minji asks, disbelief in her tone. ‘‘I thought you liked him.’’

‘‘I do!’’ You finally speak up. You’re sure of it, you like Taehyung. Your friend gives you a puzzled look because she really can’t understand you right now. ‘‘I like Taehyung, I really do,’’ you mutter, ‘‘but it’s not fair to him.’’ 

Minji scrunches her face up because there’s only one reason you’re thinking that way. She’s tired of this narrative, it’s old and overdone and it should’ve ended years ago.

She lets out a breathless chuckle, ‘‘You love him, don’t you?’’ Another question that takes you by surprise.

‘‘No, I just─’’

Minji holds her finger up, interrupting you, ‘‘I’m talking about Jungkook.’’ 

This is the attack. Not the other questions she had asked you regarding her old family friend. Not the unannounced arrival to your apartment on an uneventful Saturday morning where you had chosen to stay in bed instead of facing the peaceful yoga instructor. Not the glaring looks she had been giving you for the last minutes.

And if you weren’t ready for any of those, this one definitely takes the prize. 

‘‘I-I of course I love him,’’ you mumble, ‘‘he’s my friend.’’

Minji smirks as her eyebrows raise, ‘‘No, I’m asking if you’re in love him.’’ 

You’re sure that the feelings that you’ve had for Jungkook have always been platonic. You do love him because he’s your friend and you’re supposed to love your friends. But you know that the love that you have for him is very different from the one you have for anyone else. It might be the history between you two. You’ve been with him through it all, cheering from the sidelines as he accomplishes one milestone after the other. 

‘‘Be honest with me,’’ Minji demands, ‘‘are you in love with Jungkook?’’ she asks once again.

Your eyes well up and your bottom lip is trembling as you look back at your intimidating best friend because your silence is deafening and you’re expecting her to throw the last blow. You think you deserve it. Minji has so much she wants to say, but you look so dejected and she figures that you might’ve just realized it. 

‘‘Hey, it’s okay.’’ She comes up to you quickly, crouching down as she looks up at the tears rolling down your reddened cheeks. ‘‘Y/N, it’s okay.’’ 

You’ve been trying to tell yourself the same thing the past few days. 

It’s okay that you kissed your best friend. It’s okay that you’ve slowly and silently started harbouring feelings for him. It’s okay that you just realized you’ve been in love with him for a while now. It’s okay that you’ve been resenting the fact that he didn’t choose you all those years ago. It’s okay that you take care of and love his daughter like she’s yours. 

But...

‘‘No, it’s not.’’ You cry, ‘‘I can’t do that, Minji, he’s not mine to have.’’ 

Your mind quickly brings you back to the harsh reality, which is that Jungkook will never be yours. He probably only kissed you because he was looking for something that was capable of exciting him again after realizing how bored of his marriage he is. He doesn’t love you like that, he’ll never love you like that.

Minji can’t disagree with what you just said, but she also feels like right now is not the time to make you feel even worse when it’s obvious you’re already there. 

‘‘I blocked his number, anyway.’’ You mumble out, wiping away your tears. 

Your friend’s eyes widened at the revelation, ‘‘What?’’. 

‘‘I freaked out after I talked to Taehyung because I felt so guilty and you know how I don’t know how to deal with shit ever, so I just─’’ You stop yourself from rambling and sigh as you feel Minji’s hand squeezing your knee as a sign of comfort, ‘‘I can’t see him again without thinking about it. I can’t take care of Sunhi knowing he’s going home to sleep with Jiwoo. I just can’t keep pretending anymore.’’ 

Minji can’t do much after that, you’ve become a sobbing mess and the tears seem unstoppable. She’s never seen you like this and it dawns on her that you’ve held all of this in for way too long. 

It’s ironic because she’s always told you that you need space from Jungkook, thinking it’d be good for you to finally realize that you’re not part of his list of priorities anymore and hadn’t been for a long time. 

But she hadn’t taken into account what the after effects of not having him in your life anymore would look like.

[12:03 PM] Jeon Jungkook: hi y/n 

{Error: Undelivered!} 

[12:04 PM] Jeon Jungkook: hey???

{Error: Undelivered!}

[12:07 PM] Jeon Jungkook: i wanted to see if you’d like to meet up for lunch one of these days? i feel like we need to talk 

{Error: Undelivered!}

[5:13 PM] Jeon Jungkook: does this work now??

{Error: Undelivered!}

Jungkook groans in annoyance as he finds another one of his texts left undelivered. It feels like life is either against him or doing this for his own good. 

Nonetheless, he wants to talk to you because it’s been a few days since he last saw and heard from you. He figures you’re mad, the last words you spoke to him didn’t sound friendly at all and he wonders if maybe leaving without saying goodbye that day was the right thing to do. 

The small snores coming from beside him make him realize Sunhi is finally asleep and he can’t help but let out a sigh of disappointment as he watches her curl into a fetal like position, clutching her Dumbo plush toy and slightly drooling into his favorite pillow, making him pout because he knows he won’t be able to pry it away from her when he decides to fall asleep too. 

Sunhi being fast asleep is supposed to bring peace to Jungkook’s tiring day, though the silence is extremely uncomfortable and these days he’s come to realize how much he rather have his daughter running around and yelling in excitement than this.

Complete and utter silence.

[7:13 PM] Jeon Jungkook: (1.jpg attached) sunhi misses auntie y/n!! she’s been asking me about you a lot 

{Error: Undelivered!}

[7:15 PM] Jeon Jungkook: i miss auntie y/n more tho…

{Error: Undelivered!}

[7:17 PM] Jeon Jungkook: i hope ur alright :)

{Error: Undelivered!}

‘‘Pumpkin, you can stop smiling already.’’ Jungkook chuckles as he looks up from his phone, noticing his daughter still holding the big smile he had given him when he requested to take a picture of her to send to you. ‘‘I already sent the picture to Auntie Y/N.’’ He informs and she sighs with relief, massaging her cheeks from straining them too hard.

Though his eyebrows furrow, noticing his messages have once again been left undelivered. He makes a mental note to call the phone company soon, because it’s been over a week since he last sent the first messages and those remained in the same state as well. 

‘‘Daddy, unpause!’’ Sunhi demands, making him realize that he’s in the middle of showing her his favorite Pixar movie, Cars. 

Twenty minutes had passed and for a majority of them Sunhi had only watched attentively and Jungkook looked over at her every other second just to make sure she hadn’t fallen asleep. Warmness spread throughout him as he noticed his daughter looking at the screen with those big doe eyes she had inherited from him. 

Once the scene where Sally shows Lightning McQueen around Radiator Springs, Jungkook feels a tug at his sweatshirt and looks down to notice Sunhi’s little hand grabbing at the fabric, her eyes are still glued to the screen.

“Auntie Y/N likes this too?” She asks and Jungkook chuckles because his daughter can’t stop thinking about his friend even when doing anything completely unrelated to you.

Maybe that’s another thing she inherited as well.

[7:03 PM] Jeon Jungkook: so i called my phone company and asked them abt why my messages aren’t being delivered and they said that you must’ve blocked me

{Error: Undelivered!}

[7:04 PM] Jeon Jungkook: yeah i guess you did

{Error: Undelivered!}

Jungkook’s mind has gone blank ever since he got off the phone with the cellphone company. 

The idea that you might’ve blocked his number had not once crossed his mind during the weeks of undelivered texts and phone calls sent straight to voicemail. It was obvious, but he didn’t think you’d be capable of doing it. 

He wanted it to be a network issue or something else that he could put blame on instead of facing the realization that you had shut him out from your life. And that thought hurt, no─stung him. 

The worst part is that he knows he deserves it. It was foolish of him to think that you had enjoyed the kiss too. Dumb enough to believe that you might’ve reciprocated the way he felt. 

Jungkook doesn’t want to think this is the end, maybe it’s that stupid voice inside his head that always holds on to things that he knows he should let go of. But he can’t just let go of this and move on. 

He doesn’t remember what life was like before you and he sure as hell does not want to know what it’ll be like without you.

[1:30 AM] Jeon Jungkook: i miss you so fucking much i’m sorry if i knew that kissing you would’ve fucked everything up htne i woudl’ve never done it y/n i’m sorry 

{Error: Undelivered!}

[1:31 AM] Jeon Jungkook: i really wanted to kiss you but it was selfish of me to do it i didnt think about what you must’ve felt im sos sorry 

{Error: Undelivered!}

[1:32 AM] Jeon Jungkook: sunhi’s been asking me about yoj and i dont even know what to say anymore

{Error: Undelivered!}

[2:27 AM] Jeon Jungkook: i don’t even care if you dont wanna speak to me anymore i fucked this up for sunhi she loves you so much and you’re her favorite person ever and i ruined it for her just bc i wanted to see if you felt the same way as i do

{Error: Undelivered!}

[3:50 AM] Jeon Jungkook: i miss you y/n i really do 

{Error: Undelivered!} 

“Daddy, lemme go!” Sunhi whines trying to escape from her father’s hands as he finishes applying the sunscreen on her arms, “Daddy!”.

He gives her a stern look and the toddler huffs, sticking her bottom lip out in an act of annoyance. The playground games are waiting for her and she feels like her dad is just coming between them and her.

“Alright,” he pats his big hands on her tiny arms, “you’re good to—“ Jungkook isn’t able to finish his sentence because his daughter’s already running towards one of the slides, “Sunhi, be careful!” He reminds her, but she’s too focused on the rides than on her dad’s warning.

Jungkook sighs and relaxes into the bench. 

“She’s precious,” She comments with a small smile as her attention focuses on the little girl having the time of her life going down the slide, “I’m surprised she’s yours.” 

Jungkook looks over at the woman beside him and scoffs, but he can’t help but agree. Sunhi is too good and too pure, the best thing he’s ever done in his life. 

“Yeah, well, it’s all her.” Jungkook admits, eyes focusing back on Sunhi, “She’s really great.” 

There’s an uncomfortable silence between them and Jungkook has to clear his throat to gain her attention. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t meet up at a café,” Jungkook apologizes and nods over at his daughter, “she’s been a little misbehaved lately, you said you wanted to talk to me and I figured that if I took Sunhi to a place like that she’d just—“

She interrupts his rambling, “Hey, it’s okay. I have no problem, really.” She assures him and he nods slightly, “I haven’t been in a place like this in a long time.” 

Jungkook scratches the back of his neck and glances over at the woman who’s looking at him with an expression he can’t quite pinpoint. It makes him so nervous that he quickly shifts his gaze to the ground.

“This is so weird.” He admits with an awkward chuckle and she raises her eyebrow, “I mean—you hate me, Minji, so I don’t know what you want to talk about.” 

“I don’t hate you!” Minji laughs and Jungkook finally looks at her and she falters, “Seriously! I only dislike you and that’s saying a lot.” 

He supposes that’s a good thing, considering how aggressive Minji used to be towards him back in college. Always letting him know how much she despised his guts, how he didn’t deserve to have you as his friend and even once threw a drink at his face during a party; though you swore to him she was drunk and that she didn’t mean it.

Jungkook hadn’t seen her much since, only a few times if it was your birthday and they managed to cross paths, because the girl made sure she was never in the same room as him. The times it happened, he felt like she was throwing daggers at him through her eyes. 

“It always bothered me how putty in your hands she was for you,” Minji begins, crossing her arms over her chest as she settles back into the bench, “and how oblivious you were about it.” 

Jungkook looks back at her and there’s a small smile on her face, most likely looking over at his daughter. 

“How when we got together for study sessions, she’d be tired because she was taking care of you the night before at one of those stupid frat parties you loved dragging her to.” Minji recalls and Jungkook feels like his mouth has gone dry from the memory.

She crosses one of her legs over the other, “Or that whole Jiwoo ordeal, how you had practically put Y/N aside once you managed to date the ‘campus hottie’.” She says with air quotes and Jungkook sighs, remembering the beginning of it all.

He knows that he can’t turn back time and change it all. Even if he could, he knows he wouldn’t. If there was no Jiwoo, there’d be no Sunhi. 

An excited yell startles him as he looks over at his daughter, swinging up and down. “Look, daddy! I'm flying!” She calls and he smiles at her. 

“Jesus, that’s fucking precious.” Minji mumbles, but he hears her nonetheless and nods in agreement. “Anyway, I’m not going to act like a saint here and pretend I was vouching for you, because I never did.” 

Jungkook knows. Back then he didn’t understand why Minji was so adamant about trash talking him to you, considering how he and her barely knew each other. Actually, whatever knowledge they had of the other was through of you. 

But Jungkook’s done a lot of self reflecting for the past month and a half and he’s realized why Minji disliked him so much. Or, dislikes. Either way, it’s valid.

“I just wanted her to snap out of it,” she confesses, “and realize that there is a life beyond you. That there’s more than being your best friend and your daughter’s babysitter. That she’s capable of moving on and putting you aside, because if you did that to her then why shouldn’t she?” 

Jungkook hadn’t thought about any of that at all. He had realized he had been a shitty friend, but the idea of just how much definitely hadn’t settled on him. He wishes you knew how much he’s cared about you, but that there were too many overlapping lines for him to ever express it.

“I thought that after setting her up with Taehyung she had finally realized it,” she continues “but you know how she is, she rarely lets up and I knew she wasn’t going to let you go that easily.” 

Jungkook draws in a long breath, rubbing his now clammy hands in his jeans as he looks back towards Minji. 

“I mean, she couldn’t let her go that easily.” She jerks her head towards Sunhi, still sitting on the swings, though she’s slowed down now. “She loves that little girl so damn much.” 

Jungkook’s sure of this. He recognizes the immense love you have for Sunhi, how sincere and unconditional it is. It’s the way a mother loves her child, though he never expected it to come from you instead. He’s not surprised though, because it’s the same love you gave to him. But it’s louder, there are no boundaries that you needed to respect to show Sunhi just how much you loved her, unlike with him. 

It dawns on him that cutting him off must’ve been hard. You probably wanted to do it for way longer and only stayed because of Sunhi and Jungkook doesn’t want to think about the dilemma you must’ve went through to finally do it this time around. 

He runs his hands through his hair, letting out a shaky breath, remembering that Sunhi doesn’t have you anymore. That’s the reason as to why she’s been so misbehaved lately, crying way too often, throwing tantrums over the smallest of things. Jungkook could blame it on the fact that she’s soon turning four and maybe it’s something that comes with age, it might just be a coincidence that she’s acting this way during a time you’re no longer present in her life.

This is the thing Sunhi might not be able to forgive him for.

“Minji,” he finally speaks up and the woman beside him focuses his gaze back on him, “I miss her so much.” He mumbles, not trusting himself to speak up because he might choke back a sob.

“Only now?” 

“No!” He says this a little too harshly and Minji jumps slightly at the tone in his voice, “I’ve always missed her and I’m fucking idiot for realizing too late.” 

She hums and Jungkook’s chest rises and falls with rapid breaths, “She’s my first thought when I wake up and when I finally manage to go to sleep. Sunhi constantly reminds me about her, asking me where she is and when can she see her and I have to force myself to lie.” 

Jungkook doesn’t realize Minji’s hand is now awkwardly placed on his back, hesitantly tapping as if to give him some comfort. It’s weird to see him like this, she had convinced herself that the guy didn’t have any feelings when it came to you.

“She blocked my number, I can’t call her and all my texts have been left undelivered. I’ve driven by her apartment building too many times with the plan to go up and talk to her, but I always back out because I’m an idiot and I know she’ll hate me if I do that and I—“

“Jungkook.” 

“I just want to know if she still cares, I don’t mind if she doesn’t feel the same way. But I want to know that Y/N still cares about Sunhi and me. Do you know? Does she? Could you please—“

Jungkook’s ramble is interrupted by the crying sounds of Sunhi, who’s now on the ground as she sobs and he quickly stands up to go straight towards her. He blinks away the tears that had formed in his eyes because there’s only room for one crying baby here.

“Pumpkin, what happened?” He asks in a soft voice, crouching down at her level and she’s pouting as she points at her bloody knee. “Did you fall down?” She nods and he sighs, picking her up as he takes her back to the bench where Minji waits with expectancy to check on the little girl.

Jungkook places Sunhi beside her and looks through his daughter’s bag for the emergency kit he carried around. He cleans the blood delicately with a gauze and alcohol, making the little girl wince and yelp out an ‘ouch!’ as she holds tightly to Minji’s thigh. 

“It’s okay, Pumpkin.” He reassures her with a smile, making his daughter nod because she trusts her dad, “It was an accident and accidents are part of growing up, right?” She nods again and Minji figures this isn’t a first for her.

Once the blood has been cleaned, Jungkook places a cute rainbow patterned bandaid on the wound in her knee. 

“There we go,” he announces and Sunhi lets out the breath she’d been holding, ‘‘all done! Are you good now?” 

“Yes,” Sunhi weakly replies, “daddy, I wanna go home.” 

Jungkook’s eyebrows raise in surprise, but the look on her face tells him that she’s probably still shaken by the accident and most likely wants to take a nap to forget about it.

He looks over at Minji with an apologetic look and she gives him half a smile, “Go, it’s alright.” 

Jungkook nods and takes Sunhi in his arms, which she gladly accepts and settles her head in the crook of his neck. Minji’s ready to leave, figuring there was no point in staying any longer.

“Minji, wait!” He stops her before she goes, making her turn around and offer him a curious look, “Sunhi’s birthday is in a few weeks and,” Jungkook reaches for something inside his daughter’s bag, “she really wants Y/N to be there.” He whispers, taking out a party invitation to hand over to Minji.

She smirks, looking at the personalized invitation for his daughter’s fourth birthday, “Just Sunhi?” She asks and he lets out a breathless laugh.

“Me too.” Jungkook adds and a small smile appears on his face as he says it. “Uh—thank you for talking to me, I know it must’ve been hard.” 

Minji swats her hand in the air, “It’s alright, just wanted to make sure how you and the kid were doing. It’s all she talks about anyway.” 

A gasp escapes his lips and he holds on to his daughter tighter as she nuzzles her face farther in. 

“I’ll give her the card, but—I can’t guarantee if she’ll go.” She warns and he nods, understanding.

Though he does not like the possible outcome, he settles down with the idea that you’ll notice how even though you both haven’t spoken towards each other in almost two months, he’s still thinking about you either way. Every day. 

#jungkook angst #jungkook au #jungkook smut #jungkook scenario #jungkook fic #jungkook fluff #bts fanfic #bts smut #f: chasing pavements

[ladyimaginarium]

𝐃𝐎𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐄𝐑.

Arcana / Angel / Ansale'wit / ᐋᓐᔐᓃ + Adult ( 23 ; July 13th 2000 ) + Mixed White + Native ( Mi'kmaq, Wolastoqiyik, Abenaki, Métis & Huron-Wendat ) / Indigenous + West Asian ( Ashkenazi Jewish ) + Indigenous Canadian + Intersex + Altersex + Aldernic + Aspec + Mspec + Polyamorous/Ambiamorous + Transgender + Nonbinary + Transmascfem + Genderfluid + Two Spirit + Queer + Bi + Omni + Bi/Omni Lesbian/Vincian/Enbian + Disabled + Neurodivergent + Autistic + Amistic + not 100% ablebodied + Low Vision/VSS + HoH/APD + Mentally Ill + Psychotic + Madcripple + Future Ambulatory Wheelchair User + Future Multipurpose Psychiatric Service Dog Handler + Verbalflux + Spoonie + Chronosian + CSA/COCSA/Incest/Cult & ( Questioning ) CSEM/Trafficking & RAMCOA Survivor + Polyfragmented Plural HC-DID Chimera Multigenic System Host + Otherkin + Alterhuman + Nonhuman + Regressor + Secular Jew + Eclectic Witch + Pagan + Artist + Queer Anarchist + Stims Often + Night Owl + Splits Easily

POINTS OF INTEREST:

PINTEREST | SPOTIFY | YOUTUBE | P*YP*L | RETROSPRING | ERICA'S SIDEBLOG | AGERE/PETRE/SYSTEM LITTLE/SYSTEM MIDDLE SIDEBLOG | SOCIAL MEDIA | OUR& PODCAST ( INDEFINITE HIATUS ) | THRONE WISHLIST | HELP US& GET A MULTIPURPOSE PSYCHIATRIC SERVICE DOG | COMMISSIONS | BOOK A READING | STUDYBLR PROFILE | WRITERBLR PROFILE | WITCHBLR PROFILE | AGERE PROFILE. | OUR& WATCHLIST & READLIST & GAMELIST | OUR& FLAGS. | OUR& TERMS. | OUR& PLAYLISTS. | WHO'S FRONTING?

𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐀𝐆 𝐒𝐘𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐌.

• ברוך אתה יי אלוהנו מלך העולם שעשני עם הגאון ושכל בשביל לא להיכנס ויכוחים כאלה באינטרנט. / Baruch ata Adonai, eloheinu melech ha-olam, sheasani im higaon v'shechel bishvil lo lehikanes vikukhim kaele b’internet / Blessed are you, Adonai our G-d, sovereign of the universe, who made me with reason and sense not to get into arguments like these on the Internet.

• x.

𝐁𝐘𝐅 . . .

• Absolutely no discourse, bigotry or fakeclaiming is tolerated here; this is our& space & we're& not here to debate, fight with anyone or intentionally piss anybody off, nothing I& do is intentionally misguided or meant to hurt anybody, we're& not here to spend our& time arguing with randos on the internet, it can potentially seriously trigger our& paranoid and/or persecutory delusions & makes us& feel physically nauseous; this is our& only safe space in the world right now & we& ask you respect that.

• We& are a professionally diagnosed & medically recognized system. If you believe we are faking having DID despite being medically recognized or our plurality as a whole & our& experiences around it, if you do not enjoy any of our& presences while you may do with another or mine&, if you refuse to see us& as separate individuals, if you ignore my& system members just to only speak to me& or you are not comfortable with us& often making posts / mentions relating to our& DID, plurality & each other, block us& & move on. Our& traumas & copings for them are just as real as we& are, & everyone in this system deserves to & should have the equal amount of respect, love, dignity, honor, care & undivided attention like anybody else. We& will not tolerate any bullshit from anyone, so if that's something that intimidates you i& suggest you either check your internalized ableism & pluralphobia & learn to do better or leave! We& may be multigenic and are a (HC-)DID system, but we're& ultimately syscourse aligned and my blog is open to any system or plural, as long as you aren't being hateful to other systems, fakeclaiming anyone or spreading (HC-)DID/OSDD/UDD or otherwise CDD misinformation!

• EN/FR. Our& mother tongue is English mais j'ai& comprend et parlé français aussi même si je& suis un intermédiaire, mes& pronoms personnels sont il/elle/iel/ael/ellui, merci !! We're& also learning our& indigenous languages as well as Spanish/Español & Mandarin/官话 with a few other languages on the backburner ! We& use any pronouns but indigenous pronouns & plural pronouns (notably with an & next to a name or pronoun, it's not an absolute requirement but it's appreciated) are most preferred!

• Tonetags are not only preferred but highly encouraged, if not required most times!

• Don't call us& by our& irl name unless we're close. /srs

• I& can't believe I& need to say this & disclaimers truly kill me& on the inside but I& don't vet every single person's blog, I'm& just out here doing my& own thing & just because I& rb smth from sb or talk to sb doesn't automatically mean I& 100% agree with and/or support everything they say or do or their beliefs on every single opinion be fucking for real.

• Do NOT whitesplain to me& about the ongoing cultural genocide enacted by the "Canadian" & "American" governments as if I've& somehow missed that part of history & as if I'm& not a descendant of intergenerational trauma, specifically IHT / Indigenous Historical Trauma. I'm& not here to educate white people or anyone really. I& don't owe you that simply because I'm& Native.

• White Christians, witches & neopagans are on thin fucking ice. Don't proselytize us& if you're Christian, especially not if you're white, we're& cult survivors ( we're& likely never going to namedrop our& cult for our& safety unless if it's with very close friends or another survivor contacts us& privately so don't ask us& about it, we& will not answer ) & it's very upsetting & considering the history of evangelization of both Native & Jewish communities, it makes us& extremely uncomfortable & upset.

• Do NOT give me& your entire life story & ask if you're Native enough, don't ask me& questions about "what your place in the Native community is/whether you're Native or not/etc". I& literally don't know you. I'm not an authority figure or an elder. I& realize I'm& vocal on indigenous topics but that's not an invitation to come into my& inbox & seek validation. We& don't speak for the entire Turtle Island Indigenous community because that's asking me& to speak for hundreds of Nations, individuals and experiences which isn't humanly possible & not to mention there are plenty of fully connected natives who may know more about a topic than we do, so if I am the only person you follow who speaks on these issues, please take the time to learn from indigenous peoples of all walks of life, and broaden your exposure to include natives & indigenous peoples from other regions & especially afroindigenous people, we may not be able to speak on every issue or experience, we& can only speak from our& experience & knowledge as a multitribal white seeming reconnecting urban/rural Native, I'm always open to learning more but I refuse to apologize for knowing and identifying with my indigeneity; I& am indigenous & no one on this fucking planet can take that away from me& and I don't have to prove my indigeneity to you or to anyone else, especially if you're nonnative, period. Respect Indigenous autonomy & integrity over white/nonnative curiosity, we& don't owe you information about our& languages & cultures & there are things we& are quite literally forbidden to tell nonnatives, especially white settlers. Don't interrogate me& about being mixed. Don't demand me& to explain myself&, my& family history, status or blood quantum, I'm& not a dog or a horse, that shit is dehumanizing as fuck & literally no other race has to prove their ethnicity on a literal fucking card, we're treated like animals so don't fucking treat us& like one, it's fucking annoying, your sense of entitlement to the personal lives of strangers on the internet is disturbing, I& don't owe you an explanation & quite frankly it's none of your fucking business.

• I'm& a reconnecting Native Jew & on the Jewish side of things, I'm& still reconnecting as I& was a part of a Christian evangelical group growing up that I& later realized was a cult & I& only discovered I& was Jewish later in life so, like, please don't ask questions about Judaism bc I'm& still learning myself&. With that said, don't call us "Jews" if you're goyim, it makes us& uncomfortable. Don't ask us& for our& takes on the I/P conflict just because we're& Jewish; we& aren't zionists & are antizionist bc tbh we& don't really have any ties to Israel, we& have all of Turtle Island & we'd never support anything to do with people supporting genocide, we& do not support hamas nor the israeli government as they continue to break both international law & jewish law nor the slaughter of israeli & palestinian civilians & we& stand with both the jewish & palestinian people & diaspora & we& believe in a free, liberated Palestine that has the right to resist oppression under international law just as any other oppressed group do & the right to return while acknowledging that both Jewish people & Palestinians have a right to coexist in peace on their ancestral homelands; antisemitism & islamophobia are both terrible & hatecrimes are on the rise; indigenous solidarity + jewish-muslim solidarity forever.

• Do NOT repost our& terms & flags without our& consent & without credit.

𝐃𝐍𝐈 𝐈𝐅 . . .

General DNI criteria, racists, -phobes, intersexists, queerphobes, antisemites, ableists, sanists, anti well researched self dx, exclusionists, anti mspec vincians/lesbians, TERFS/SWERFS/radfems, ped*s/z**s/pro contact paraphiles & any variants (why tf are you here, we're& survivors & we& have middles & especially littles aka literal teenagers & children who we& will protect if necessary, fuck the laws of the land ill& slaughter you), pro ed/sh, if you're going to drag us& into shipcourse (on either side of militant shipcoursers, we're& unaligned & outsiders to this admittedly & we& literally don't care at all as long as nobody irl gets hurt, most people in both sides are insufferable & need to go outside, its triggering for us&, it triggers our& moral ocd & it will cause a huge mental break. from what we've& seen most of the discourse is pointless, reductive, lacks nuance, & is chronically online & a lot of it feels performative, dehumanizing, insensitive & insulting when actual real abuse is downplayed & most people seem to care more about fictional characters than actual real people, its a toxic environment to be in, & we& want no part in it & tbh there's more important things for us& to worry about when it honestly isnt even that big of a deal irl. be normal about survivors good g-d. just to be clear tho, while i& understand that some people do ship to cope, i'm& greatly uncomfortable w/ romanticized glorified normalized depictions of p*do* & inc*st ships bc i'm& a survivor & victim of both myself& & am still recovering from that trauma & it isn't fun so. ), fandom discourse (i& am an adult capable of media literacy critical thinking & able to criticize things while wholeheartedly enjoying them ty), queer discourse or syscourse or any kind of discourse bc we& don't touch that w/ a 10 foot pole & it causes us& pointless stress that isn't helpful for our& healing so if you drag us& into anything we'll& just block you for our& own mental health, if you support cancel(unless used as a last resort to warn about a genuine threat)/cringe culture, zionists (ik there's technically variations of what this can mean but atp i dont give a shit & in this case for my& sanity im& referring specifically to the ones that are anti palestine being independent & supporting israel despite its literal warcrimes & genocide & being racist towards palestinians), anti landback, anti mmiwg2s/mmip, anti black lives matter, anti stop aapi hate, if you don't support indigenous sovereignty & black liberation, abuse apologists, blank/ageless blogs, if you know us& irl (except for jojo ily bestie), radqueer/transx identities (transage, trace, transabled, etc., but adoptees who use the original meaning of transracial, system members with varying identities from the body, chronosians & transspecies are okay tho!), pro harassment for any reason, conservative/prolife/antivax/fascists/right wing/centrists/n*zis, gore, DDLG/CGL shit, anti sfw agere, anti sw/antikink, rpf/dsmp/jkr/snk/hp stans (introjects are okay tho!), if you silence R.AMCOA survivors/accuse H.C-D.ID systems of "oppression olympics", blood quantum/enrollment enforcers (yes, even if you're Native, i& don't give a fuck), more TBA (likely extended).

#arcana.navigation #do not reblog. #please like to indicate you've read & understood !

[mumblingsage]

God, I really wish I could have sex with Theriac again.

It’s a weird blessing, wanting to. I wanted to want for a long time; I was so thrilled in the first months of our relationship, long before we even decided if we would have sex or how, just to walk around in a haze of lust. Desiring someone feels good to me. It’s motivating and energizing and pleasant in itself. It still is, but it’s a bittersweet pleasure right now. 

Also, and this is just selfish whining but I’ll vent it here: I’m kind of dreading the thought of becoming sexually active with anyone else. Because men are...men. I mean, I won’t make the mistake of dating a vanilla cishet guy again, probably ever, but. And it’s not like women and enbies aren’t options! But I’ve never been interested in dominating femme people (then again, Theriac was my girlfriend and very much a pleasure to dominate--unsure where he’d land on the “femme” scale but I wouldn’t really describe him as butch!) and nobody has precisely the gender identity my beloved bigender submissive had. Or the kink identity. Or the particular tastes. But let me tell you, there is something about having a lover who actively prefers your orgasms over their own that raises the bar and will possibly ruin you for anyone else. Even aside from that, Theriac was just very himself in a way that made everything with him, sex not least, unique. 

And that’s a good thing, in that I don’t want to replace him by recreating my experience with him. I know eventually someone *will* click for me, and then the things that make us both happy will become something beautiful and unique and ours. As I’ve said before, there was so much about Theriac I didn’t anticipate and would not necessarily have put on my wishlist (though he had more than a few traits that were on that list!) but which I wound up loving in him. I expect my desire will work in a similar pattern with future lovers. No matter what, I’ve experienced a great sex life so far and I’m really happy to have had it and to have the memories of it. And I need to remember than in March 2019 I was in a similar place--it seemed like all the guys had beards, I wasn’t sure if anyone would be interested in mainly non-penetrative sex or kinky fuckery--and then some random face (with a bit of beard, even!) piqued my interest and off. we. fucking. went. 

I’m not in any place to date someone new right now. Instead I’ll simmer in lust and let the desire be its own form of pleasure. But when the time comes, I think I’ll try what worked before--I will scan profiles and messages on OKCupid until one leaps out and grabs me by the hand (or kneels fetchingly before me, as the case may be). Until I want so much that I have to reach out to them. And if they’re interested enough to reach out to me, too, well. Things will unfold as they will.

#TMI

[talesfantastic]

Multimuse: 6, 10, 11, 18, 19 (eek, that's a big one for you! do a selection if you'd prefer!)

-eyes list- Well then... let’s see what I can do.

6. which one of your muses have you been playing the longest?

The longest consistently is Angeal, who has about 10 years behind him. Who I’ve played the longest off-and-on is Vegeta, however, who... probably has another 5-10 years on him.

10. which muse is the most fun to write for?

Not gonna lie, at this point in my life I think I have the most fun as Genesis, for just plain writing. He’s just so bold and confident and over the top. In some ways, he’s a lot like I was way back before things happened and I can relate. In other ways (the temper, the overinflated ego, the violent streak...) he’s very different, but still fascinating.

Honorable mention to Lazard, too, though. I’ve had such a good time as Laz on Tumblr and that can’t be overstated. He’s just not quite as versatile as Gen can be.

11. is there another muse you’ve been thinking of adding or writing for? who?

Curse of the multimuse, we’re always thinking of adding people. My current list is long but I’ll break it down a little:

Who do I think I really will add, sometime in the near(ish) future:

Ann/Ran (Story of Seasons: Friends of Mineral Town)

Canderous Ordo (Star Wars: KOTOR)

Carth Onasi (Star Wars: KOTOR)

Mistel (Story of Seasons)

Shad (Twilight Princess)

Who would I like to add but am unsure I will because of my grasp on their canons, or lack thereof:

Bardock (DBZ)

Ignis Scientia (FF15)

Obi-Wan Kenobi (Star Wars)

Zarbon (DBZ)

18. would you ship any of your muses together? who?

Oh yeah. There’s only a few, but yeah.

Angeal x Genesis, Genesis x Reeve and Kunzite x Minako

19. for each muse, is there a character you wish had a blog so you could interact with them? (this is long so... under a cut it is!)

Let me preface this with most of these blogs exist, I just am shy and haven’t approached yet. Or have approached and it hasn’t worked out, which doesn’t help with the shy.

Vegeta (DBZ) - there are Goku’s out there, I just haven’t had the guts to approach one. Same for Bulma’s, and his kids. Nothing into Super, because I don’t know Super and therefore don’t count it in my canon but man... I’d love those. OH! And Piccolo would be really neat, too.

Angeal (FF7) - ZACK. Please please please let Angeal find a puppy of his own. I desperately need some catharsis from what a mess canon made of what could have been a great friendship. And Sephiroth, for that matter! (I have been blessed with a Genesis, but I mean, I do welcome more Genesis’ if they want)

Chaos (FF7) - there’s plenty of Vincent’s just not a whole lot who want to deal with Chaos. Which is a shame, because I think I write a... somewhat different Chaos. It could be a good experience.

Genesis (FF7) - an Angeal who fits my Genesis would just... be amazing. Seriously. I would also greatly appreciate a Sephiroth, and would kill for a thread where they work through that ridiculous rivalry and become friends.

Lazard (FF7) - would love, love, love a Rufus, particularly one who would like an “eventual allies” thread because you know that canon divergence is my jam. Also a Heidegger who plays in the pre-CC/BC era.

Reeve/Cait (FF7) - lumping these two together; basically, I’d really like to throw them against each other, a Cait for Reeve and a Reeve for Cait. I think it could really be cool to reach out to a Rufus, or AVALANCHE 2.0 too? idk, it would be neat

Iris (Story of Seasons) - my kingdom for a Mistel! Seriously, even in the dedicated Harvest Moon/Story of Seasons/Stardew Valley rp group I’m in we can’t keep a Mistel. Just let Iris have her baby brother. ;-;

Trent (SOS:FOMT/FOMT/DS/CUTE) - honestly just all the Mineral Town and Forget-Me-Not-Valley peeps. I have so much muse for this man I’m down for crossovers and everything.

Midna (Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess) - absolutely Link, but I’m also intrigued by Zelda, Ganondorf, and Zant

Sheik (Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time) - I’d actually really like to toss Sheik up or down the timeline at another incarnation of Zelda. And Link. And any of the Sages. Oh, and Ganondorf.

Ami Mizuno (Sailor Moon) - Zoicite! (Be still my shipper heart) But also, I’d really just like the other Senshi too?

Kunzite (Sailor Moon) - I’ve been blessed with a Minako (though I’m open for more!) but I would also really love Mamoru and the rest of the Shitennou.

Mamoru Chiba (Sailor Moon) - I have been blessed with some lovely Usagi’s but I’d love to see him with his Shitennou, his darling daughter, Helios and the Senshi.

Minako Aino (Sailor Moon) - Kunzite, not just because I happen to ship it but because they’re both the leaders of their Prince(ss)’ inner guard and have a lot in common that would make things Interesting. Also, Usagi and the Senshi of course, and Artemis, who I haven’t seen around at all actually.

HK-47 (Star Wars: KOTOR) - any of the Ebon Hawk crew, either set. I just want to see HK being his ~charming~ self, bonus if it’s with a Jedi or other pacifist calling the shots. Actually, even though I hate what they did with Revan in SWTOR I’d be game for tossing him up the timestream too. Or even further into the movie eras, or crossovers. C’mon, someone needs an assassin droid!

Liana Raine (Star Wars:TOR) - if we’re making a dream list, I’d love a Yuon Par, tbh. And a Hero of Tython. And any of her crew, really.

Revan (Star Wars: KOTOR) - again any of the Ebon Hawk crew (esp Carth or a Bastila that’s better rounded than canon >_>) but really any of them would be amazing. And definitely fast forwarding her to the movie eras. What a difference might have been made if they had known ahead of time how to deal with Sith. Or, for that matter, just if Anakin had had a different sort of mentor. I die for the thought of Revan as a mentor to Anakin or Obi-Wan, Force Ghost, holocron or whatever.

Tharan Cedrax (Star Wars: TOR) - a Jedi Consular (player character) would be amazing, but I’d also love Holiday or the what-if he’d gotten hooked up with a smuggler or bounty hunter crew instead. Seriously.

Duke (Threads of Fate) - I’d really love to see a Belle, because there’s a lot to explore there. Really I’d be grateful for any of the Threads of Fate cast though.

Fancy Mel (Threads of Fate) - other Threads of Fate people aside (and I’d especially love the dolls, fellow Aeons/mages, or Klaus) I’d be really interested on her talking with like, spirits or other magical beings?

---the few muses I left out I have no specific blog interactions in mind for. And again, I’m very well aware that most of these blogs exist I just... am shy. So here’s the wishlist I’ve been sitting on, lol.

#ask-reeve-tuesti #ooc #about the mun

[dingdongrumba]

Komahina for 002!

😔🙏 bless you

When I started shipping them:

This is… a great question cause I actually don’t think I remember kgfdjgkKSDJFDS but the earliest I can think of is probably on my second watchthrough of the game. After I played the game I watched somebody else play it and he made a lot of jokes about Komaeda being gay for Hajime and I think I just went “ahaha… wait he’s right.” but to be honest I don’t recall a specific moment

My thoughts:

They’re so good and so baybee I love them and I would die for them and seeing them makes me so happy, I don’t know what else this prompt wants me to say LOL

What makes me happy about them:

It’s all about that hurt/comfort baybee. Just seeing Komaeda be so stupidly devoted and in love with Hajime is so nice ahhhh and they have so many good interesting dynamics, that one sided pining is so good as well

What makes me sad about them:

Hurt/comfort again sdkjKSJFSD I think they’d need to solve so many of their issues before they could actually get together. Komaeda also lost his arm and he has his illnesses too. It’s heartbreaking to think about them dealing with all of that.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me:

This isn’t something specific to komahina or to fanfic even to be honest, but I don’t like it when they gloss over their issues and don’t resolve them properly? Like if you’re not going to address them that’s fine, but don’t just resolve them with like a kiss and a hug kdgjfgtij it’s mostly just a pet peeve

Oh another thing is I wish more western fans would portray Komaeda topping or just being more assertive in general??? Asian fans seem to know what’s up with that but english speakers only seem to have eyes for bottom Komaeda lol

Things I look for in fanfic:

AGAIN NOT SPECIFIC TO KOMAHINA BUT I NEED ME SOME LONG, SLOW BURN, CANON COMPLIANT FIC WITH MEANINGFUL SMUT 😩😩😩😩😩 I haven’t found any yet!!! Granted I haven’t looked *super hard* but still :( if anyone has any recs I beg you g i b v me

My wishlist:

-pls more doujins

-more top Komaeda

-jealous Hajime

-Ko worshipping Haji because come on that’s cute

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

I like Hajime with plenty of characters actually, I like him with Chiaki and I lowkey ship him with Fuyuhiko and Gundham lol. As for Nagito, I like to see him like Ouma and even Makoto but I really don’t see him having any genuine relationship with anyone but Hajime.

My happily ever after for them:

They get married and Komaeda lives a long and happy life and they get a dog and live in a quiet place away from the loudness of the city, helping the Future Foundation every once in a while and also having dinner parties with their friends and growing up into being an old happy couple and Hajime helps Komaeda sort through his trauma and psychological issues that gave him the fucked up morals he has so he actually ends up being able to tell between right and wrong and did I mention they have a dog and are gay together forever the end Q—–Q

#i love them..... sm....... #komahina #nagito #hinata #sdr2 #ask #sinfulwonders

[kitsoa]

A Breakdown of khux update: Something Received

Alright. Finally have some time for this. I swear khux updates have been petrifying. They are bombshells ready to poke holes in my theories or spin me into new ones. This is no different, but I must say I am rather emboldened after this.

I’m gonna break down everything that is said and try to read into the thoughts and intentions of the characters under the a single pretense that Ava did it folks.

---

Let’s get this out of the way. Ava is not impervious to lying. We cannot trust everything she says as gospel and she is not one to rule out for manipulation. As Gula states and Mel defends in this ask-- Ava “always walking the straight and narrow.” She is capable of anything.

And I think she is lying to Brain. 

Ava did pick him. Brain is her planted agent. Ava=Traitor speculation train ahoy but if you look at everything under this lens the conversation makes sense. 

Consider later in the exchange. 

A compliment on his greatest asset that she’s clearly been aware of in all her time knowing him. But her defense to his initial skepticism is to point fingers to the lauded Master of Masters. She doesn’t deny his ‘lazy’ claim to empower him towards the mission, she gives his appointment more power through the Master. This is pure circumstantial evidence that puts Brain in Ava’s favor. Of course MoM could have chosen him for the same reasons as well if she’s not lying. 

So the savvy Brain makes what we in the business would call a ‘cosmic irony’.

It sounds like a script because it is a script dear Brain. Cue the compliment. The Master of Master designed this scenario. He arranged it so that the Union Leaders don’t converse and do anything different than planned until after the war. This line of dialogue not only explains what is happening but it establishes Brain’s sympathetic resentment towards a scripted reality. He’s very much in the business of shit-disturbing. The perfect virus in the system. 

But this leads to a premature tangent. See, the Master of Masters, in all his ‘foresight’ goes through elaborate displays of his authority to enforce what everyone perceives as written in stone fate. If it was so confidently assured, than these arbitrary, constantly questioned roles and rules would not be so blindly enforced-- what’s written should happen regardless. But that’s where this ‘script’ comment comes back into play. The Book of Prophecies is not a tome of future sight. It’s just a script. And the Master of Master is the author of that script. 

Now Ava get’s closer and brings up a debate on this exact subject, indirectly confirming to Brain that he’s right to a point. 

If things go exactly as planned, it’s a script. If it’s just a collection of event predictions from a fix point, than it’s not set in stone right? Ava’s stance on the assessment of this being planned is peculiar. She recognizes the appearance of the scenario-- the fact that the rules and situations transpiring are MoM designer in nature (hence the soft confirmation above with Brain). But we can see that she has qualms with this reading. Ava’s angle, speaking to Brain here garners more hope against the concept of a fixed fate. 

Just because it’s written in the ‘script’ doesn’t mean we can’t change it. So it’s not so much a script as it is... a wishlist? This is the basis of her conversation. This is her plot. An interpretation of the given facts.

What ensues is a bit of what-ifs over changing fate and the relationship that has with the book. Would the book get rewritten? Is this book so powerful that it has that ability? Does fate work like that? 

“I think the fact that we don’t know [what happens when the book is defied]...”

--hoo boy. This logic is a little strange. If they did know what happens when they go against the book then they would know whether the future was scripted or not. They’d be living the unplanned future then. The fact that they don’t know what happens more so proves the opposite-- that there is no unplanned future before them. Everything is decided. This is why Brain response with a skeptical “does it really prove that?” -- it doesn’t. Like... I’m worried about Ava with this line and so is Brain. 

This... smells like delusion. A desire to change the future. A certainty that this isn’t fixed. Ava isn’t playing a game here. She wants to defy the script bad.

Cue. Book of Prophecies. 

The act of giving the Book of Prophecies to Brain is the experiment. It is contextually clear as day that this act is in defiance of her scripted role in the book. And then the kicker--

She brings out the note. The one with MoM’s instructions. Bless this translation but she simply parrots MoM’s words to her about this special role to Brain, neither confirming or denying if he is the one circled. 

So Ava hides the ‘reveal’ from him and lays it on thick that she’s giving him a bit of a message. From Brains perspective it’s “I’m not the one that was circled. That is Ava’s defiance.” And he says this as much in the next line:

Then why continue to beat around the bush Ava? He gets your hint. He is not the one chosen to receive the BoP. From a narrative standpoint, it makes no sense for the coy run around. And that’s because there’s more to her message than he thinks. 

But this sets Brains trajectory perfectly. He knows from this conversation that he is the virus in the program. He is Ava’s defiance. He received the book when another leader should have. What he doesn’t know is that there is an impostor in their circle as Luxu’s Observation so clearly states. So while he proudly touts around this fact that he is going mess things up, he is framing himself to be the suspect in the real defiance. Strelitzia’s replacement. 

Because when he opens that book up and reads the list the real message is going to be delivered. Brain is the virus. And he not only wasn’t chosen by the Master to have the book. He wasn’t chosen by the Master at all. His name won’t be on that list and the person who created that vacancy will be long gone by that point. 

Consider the trigger for this flashback. Lauriam’s investigations over Strelitzia’s whereabouts have led him suspicious of her changing disposition. He considers consulting the book to find out what happened. Little does he know he’s about to find out exactly what happened to his sister.

Ava’s message. Her true defiance will finally be exposed and all trust in Ava’s methods will be put to the test. 

----

We are updates away from Brain finding out everything. And he’s going to sit on this knowledge. I definitely think he’s going to sit on this. Not only because he is the prime suspect, but because Ava’s intentions and methods would be questioned and the sanctity of no one knowing how he knows would also conflict with his actions. Brain is stuck. 

If I were to speculate further, I think this secret is going to incriminate Brain and create tension. Tension that is going to only grow and escalate until... well... until the unions start taking sides. Fighting for Lux and power. Eventually preparing for war. It’ll be too late for the truth by the time the union leaders find out about Ava’s attempt at defying fate. And the cycle of death and rebirth decreed in the Master of Master’s monologue will resume from its temporary pause. 

#kingdom hearts #kh speculation #kh analysis #kh meta #khux update #khux spoilers #kitloveskh #i understand this is everyone's take but I am putting it into my words

[faeymouse]

I remembered that TCW is getting a new season in February, and I am filled with content for the future.

Also a CVS receipt length wishlist of what I hope we get to see, but I'm keeping that to myself.

I'm kidding, no I'm not.

-Cad Bane

-Hondo Ohnaka

-It's a long shot, but Bane and Hondo teaming up??

-Pleeeeeeeeease the arc where they rescue cyborg Echo from the Separatists. I really want him to find out about Fives.

-All the deets about Rex defecting from the GAR.

-More. Kix. Content.

-Some more grand orchestral versions of character themes like what we got for Ahsoka Leaving

-Just smother me with clone angst, TCW. Just really drown me in it.

-Can we find out what happened to Dogma?

-How's Asajj doing? Can we retcon Dark Disciple?

-Just one more lighthearted Hondo and Obi-Wan adventure, I beg.

-Let Obi-Wan get a hug. Bonus points if we can see him have an emotional heart-to-heart with someone about having had to watch Satine get killed in front of him, since this season is focused on Mandalore.

-I know we're getting plenty of Ahsoka. I just want to reiturate how ecstatic that makes me.

-At least one Caleb Dume cameo somewhere in the background

-Can we see Obi-Wan use jar'kai again with his distressed hair flop? Please??

-Anakin using jar'kai??????

-Someone pointing out that Obi-Wan should really put on some more armor maybe

-Tons of clone centric moments. A whole episode would be great. Two would be a blessing

-That it ends fitting in so well with the start of Episode 3 that I break down from feels and have to immediately go watch Ep.3 - 6, including all side stories, to cope.

#babbles #tcw #star wars #if you can't tell I'm massively ready to get my heart fed to me #I'm so excited this is gonna be great! #and painful!!

[hyakiru]

@forseenclade​ inquired: 🌼 as in Curly’s the older sibling role! ↪ RELATIONSHIP WISHLISTS MEME.

i can already tell based off their interactions that curly and hyakkimaru absolutely have that dynamic. hyakkimaru is slowly warming up to curly and the fact that they’re connecting through food - hyakkimaru really loves curly’s cooking - is one of the most wholesome things i’ve had the blessing to witness in all my years on this website. i think what he’s always needed is someone who will just... well, care for him, sure, but whom he can also care for. he has been denied that for so long, that ability to just feel a mutual connection with someone. he is definitely getting that sibling dynamic with curly and i think it’ll lead to a lot of wholesome stuff down the line... i especially see them trying out new dishes together, watching movies, and maybe even going on ghost-hunting adventures. 

if hyakkimaru finds out about curly’s abilities i think he’ll also want to see them in action, and will be firm about it together - if it’s a bad future ( which it could very well be ) i would LOVE to see how they work together to circumvent it or, if that bad future involved curly in some way ( like he gets hurt or something because he’s close to hyakkimaru ), how hyakkimaru will try to protect him from that...

#forseenclade #UNDOUBTEDLY THE INTERACTIONS HE HAS WITH OTHERS CHANGE HIM. - ASK MEMES. #WORDS THAT EVADE HIM. - ASK RESPONSES. #( GOOD CHOICE ) #( i have a LOT to say... )

[inazuma-hq]

Inazuma Showcase Spotlight: @zafiro-satoshi 

[twitter] [tumblr]

I wanted to draw my lovely favorite character because many people notice he is a character because I draw him a lot and it makes me so happy that he is getting so much love! (because some people thought he was my OC) Also, he is so adorable, so pretty and so sweet, both his appearance in Aliea Gakuen arc and Inazuma Eleven Ares no Tenbin are so important to me. He is a minor character, even being like that I could understand him with the little official things I could read and see about him. I will love him forever! Love you everyone!!

Introduce yourself!   Hello, my name is Zafiro Satoshi and I’m an inazuma Eleven artist, I love drawing fanart, specially my ship SatoTeru (Mutou Satoshi and Afuro Terumi)  bu I also love drawing Kazemaru, Sakuma, etc, I love every single Inazuma Eleven character. I sometimes draw in the Inazuma Eleven style as for practice, sometimes I come with drawings of other things I love too!

How long have you been a fan? How did you discover Inazuma Eleven? I've been a fan since late 2009, probably October, that was the year I got to have cable TV and internet, before that I didn't have any of them. I discovered it when I was at my grandma's house, we where moving to her house, and I didn't want to help so I was checking some channels when I discovered it. I was going through depression because of family problems, I felt alone, left and with nobody understanding me, and with no hopes for living, I remember the episode I watched that time (or just some minutes of it) was episode 25, Raimon vs Zeus match, it was so touching, it was so bright and powerful, that I literally felt a light went through my chest and made smile. I got really interested on it that I tried so hard to look for the name and see if I could watch it again, and I LOVED EVERY EPISODE OF IT.

How has Inazuma impacted you since discovered the series? What does Inazuma mean to you? What has made you stick around? It has impacted hugely on me, it saved me, thanks to Inazuma Eleven I'm here and you are reading this. Thanks to inazuma I could heal my desires of dying, It didn't bring no physical friends but real friends I've made online, that I consider them so important to me, it also motivated me to draw, I didn't draw until late 2010, after inazuma saving me, I promised myself to support Inazuma Eleven in anyway I can, so that's why I keep drawing, because I love it and I'm happy with it! SO MANY BLESSINGS IN MY LIFE ARE HAPPENING BECAUSE OF IT!

Who are your favourite characters from Inazuma Eleven, GO, Ares and Orion? and why are they your favourites? I absolutely love every single character, with no exception, I understand their role and how valuable they are for the story work, but I have my very favorite one (or two) that are Mutou Satoshi, Afuro Terumi, I also love Kazemaru, Sakuma, Endou, Tatsuya, Midorikawa, Hiroto, Okuno,  Tenma, Asuto, Kirino, Karina, Kyousuke, Shindou, Bran brothers, Hiura, Kishibe, Kita, and many many more!!! Any favourite pairings? OTPs, BROTPs? My OTP are SatoTeru (Mutou Satoshi and Afuro Terumi) KiyaMido (Kiyama Tatsuya and Midorikawa Ryuuji) EnSaku (Endou Mamoru and Sakuma Jirou) SatoHoso (Mutou Satoshi and Okuno Hosomichi) HiroSato (Kira Hiroto and Mutou Satoshi), other ships I love are, KyouTen, RanMasa, my favorite BROTP is Endou and Kazemaru and Endou and Gouenji. But, I really support of ships and I love them so much!! Has there been any particular favourites moments within Inazuma Eleven so far? Why are they your favourites? About the animation, every single episode is a favorite moment to me, also I treasure every single episode Mutou is in because he is my favorite boy and his screen time is so little that blinking is prohibited. Also the fact that until this year I made so many friends and I can talk about Inazuma Eleven with them! What do you hope to happen for the next 10 years of Inazuma? Anything on your Inazuma wishlist you hope to happen in the future? Whether it be in Orion or any future IE series? I hope there is still more Inazuma Eleven! these 10 years passed so fast, with so many wonderful artist coming, and sharing love to everyone, I want that we get for a second time Inazuma Eleven GO characters again in Inazuma Eleven Ares no Tenbin timeline.  Mention some awesome people, blogs or twitter accounts in the community Some amazing people I want to mention are my sister @Natsumi-a , she is so talented at drawing! , my dearest friend @inazuma-eleven-translations , I admire you so much for being so good at drawing and so kind with everyone giving us translations, also for being a wonderful friend with me all this year, @aishakami , you are so talented, you never stop impressing me on how stunning pictures you make! Please support them , because they are so talented!! but I want to say that everyone on the Inazuma eleven fandom is doing wonderful! Anything else you'd like to add! I want Mutou Satoshi official art and march! HE IS SO PRECIOUS TO BE A MINOR CHARACTER, make him a Inazuma Japan member 

Thank you for taking part in the showcase zafiro-satoshi​​!

#inazuma eleven #inazuma showcase spotlight #zafiro-satoshi #submission

[bartsugsy]

what storylines would you like to see for robron (as characters and/or as a relationship) in the near future?

i don’t.... really care?

like, no, of course i care - i want it to be good and enjoyable and i want them to have an actual storyline that has focus on their relationship in some way. i want them to be used relatively heavily (so that i can actually see them on my screen) and i want whatever they do to be engaging and filled with emotions

but what that is, i don’t mind

like, i’m up for whatever they throw at us. i’m here for the ride and a good time. as long as they’re on my screen and doing things, i’m cool. i just want them to have a proper big storyline again. whatever form that takes is up to the show, i don’t care. 

i just want to be set on some sort of emotional robron rollercoaster wherein they appear on my screen together a lot for an extended period of time as a storyline develops because that hasn’t happened in a few years (I KNOW WHAT I SAID AND I CAN BACK IT UP) and i’ve just been waiting here patiently for it

their last big storyline was them being broken up (and it was robert’s story really, in the end, bless him) which had a lot of robron-adjacent content but not a lot of actual robron-on-screen-together content. 2018 was filled with mini stories for them, some of which went somewhere, most of which didn’t - and it was wonderful, like, there was some a+ fucking robron content that we got fed, but they very much didn’t have an actual storyline (or what i would class as a storyline in soap world) during that time. 

like, i just want to see them on screen together consistently dealing with a Thing - there’s billy and the home farm/graham stuff and the surrogacy now, which means they have a lot of potential irons in the fire, which is cool, but like

my entire wishlist is just ‘turn one of those into an actual story that gives me lots of robron scenes’ lololol

never let it said i’m not easily pleased bc i am and i’m ok with it

IN THE MEANTIME THOUGH (is it in the meantime or is it part of a bigger thing we don’t know) I’M HELLA HERE FOR ROBRON’S DADDY DAYCARE DRAMA (FEAT. A PIG) THANKS

feed me while im waiting to be fed, sweet emmerdale gods

#robron #answering anons #spoilers #eastie spoilers #eastieoaks spoilers #Anonymous