#💫—haikyuu as things my friends and i have said

[calqlate]

HAIKYUU AS THINGS MY FRIENDS AND I HAVE SAID PT. 15

INCLUDES: akaashi + akiteru + bokuto + hanamaki + kuroo + matsukawa + oikawa + saeko

CW(S)/TW(S): coarse/foul/strong language used + contains mentions of d*ck

MASTERLIST

oikawa: i want dick

kuroo: don't we all

kuroo: i'm fighting for mine here

oikawa: but with a body attached to it and has arms to hold me

bokuto: you want... a huge humanoid dick???

kuroo: LMFAO A GUY IN A DICK COSTUME

matsukawa: iwaizumi doesn't need the gym, the gym needs him

hanamaki: he blushed at your words

[bokuto and akaaahi are talking about kaeya from genshin impact]

bokuto: IS HIS NAME PRONOUNCED AS KAYA OR KAY-YUH

akaashi: kaya

bokuto: kaya toast

saeko: ngl i think i dressed like a lesbian today

akiteru: BUT YOU ARE A LESBIAN

saeko: I'M BI THERE'S A DIFFERENCE

akiteru: HALF A LESBIAN TFRICK YOU MEAN

© CALQLATE. all rights reserved. please do not copy, modify, repost, or translate my works on any platform.

#💫—haikyuu as things my friends and i have said #💫—qq writes #writeblr #writing #haikyuu incorrect quotes #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu #oikawa #kuroo #bokuto #matsukawa #hanamaki #akaashi #saeko #akiteru

[calqlate]

HAIKYUU AS THINGS MY FRIENDS AND I HAVE SAID PT. 16

INCLUDES: atsumu + kuroo + oikawa + suna + terushima

CW(S)/TW(S): coarse/foul/strong language used

MASTERLIST

[sharing their usernames for an online game]

oikawa: wolfbarkswoof

kuroo: um they actually howl

kuroo: dogsbarkwoof

terushima: i'll do you one better

terushima: bitchbarkswoof

oikawa: i'll one up you

oikawa: terushimabarkswoof

terushima: SUDDENLY I'M TARGETED AS BITCH BOY WHEN I'M THE ONE DOING THE BITCHING

terushima: EXCUSE ME

oikawa: DON'T DENY YOU WOULDN'T BARK WOOF FOR YOUR OPPA

oikawa: YOU'RE A SWITCH

oikawa: IT HAPPENS

terushima: yeah but i'll turn the tables around so fast that he will do the barking instead

oikawa: 🥵🥵

kuroo: me

kuroo: i'm the bitch

oikawa: yes you

terushima: KUROOBARKSWOOF

[suna was at a grocery store and saw this product, so he sent a pic of it to the gc (as shown below)]

suna: this is very random but @/atsumu were you in charge of designing this

atsumu: yasssunicorn slay 😩😩🌈🦄

© CALQLATE. all rights reserved. please do not copy, modify, repost, or translate my works on any platform.

#💫—haikyuu as things my friends and i have said #💫—qq writes #writeblr #writing #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu #terushima #oikawa #kuroo #suna #atsumu

[calqlate]

haikyuu as things my friends and i have said pt. 13

includes: kuroo, iwaizumi, sugawara, bokuto, terushima, kageyama, suna, atsumu

tw(s): coarse/foul/strong language used, sexual humour/jokes used

view m.list!

[oikawa posts a thirst trap and asks his friends to hype him up in the comments]

kuroo: OMFGGGGG PLSSS 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 I CANNOTTTTT FK ME IN THE ASS PLS

iwaizumi: yes work it bestie

sugawara: hOTTER THAN THE WEATHER PLS

kuroo: STEP ON ME

bokuto: iF I WAS STRAIGHT THIS WOULD TURN ME GAY

terushima: daddy? sorry. daddy? sorry. daddy? sorry.

[in music class]

kageyama: *plays the wrong chord on the piano* FUCK

suna: the moment kita looks at me, my soul disappears

atsumu: bro you and me we are not the same

atsumu: you still have a soul before he stares at you while i don't LOL

suna: my soul consists of that blue mf from inside out and her only

atsumu: HAHAHAH SADNESS???

suna: 🤩🤩🤩

teacher: is this question difficult?

bokuto: everything is difficult

#💫—haikyuu as things my friends and i have said #💫—qq writes #writeblr #writing #haikyuu incorrect quotes #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu #kuroo #iwaizumi #sugawara #bokuto #terushima #kageyama #suna #atsumu

[calqlate]

haikyuu as things my friends and i have said pt. 14

includes: yaku + oikawa + kuroo + bokuto

tw(s): sexual humour/jokes used

view m.list!

[yaku and oikawa are talking about austin von hagen from tears of themis]

yaku: guys,,, he's like 50

oikawa: i'd make him my sugar daddy

oikawa: there's nothing wrong with that

oikawa: we're already 18

yaku: 19

oikawa: even better

yaku: interesting taste

kuroo: i will steal your girlfriend

oikawa: you can steal me instead

oikawa: yknow what

oikawa: i'm motivated now

oikawa: TO WRITE SMUT

kuroo: WHY

oikawa: cause of you 🥺

kuroo: AHAHAHAHAH

kuroo: aww 🥺

[bokuto and kuroo are talking about some cringey koreaboo stories on the 'fanfic' app 'episode']

bokuto: OMO SAESANGEH (tl: omg my goodness)

kuroo: OMO JUNGKOOK OPPA I SARANG YOU NEOMU NEOMU I FLEW FROM AMERICA TO MEET YOU CAN YOU PLS GIVE ME POPPO 🥺🥺🥺 (tl: omg jungkook i love you a lot i flew from america to meet you can you pls give me a kiss 🥺🥺🥺 [the words 'neomu neomu' is used as a direct translation and is just inserted into the proper english sentence structure which doesn't make much sense in korean])

#💫—haikyuu as things my friends and i have said #💫—qq writes #writeblr #writing #haikyuu incorrect quotes #haikyuu #yaku #oikawa #kuroo #bokuto

[calqlate]

haikyuu as things my friends and i have said pt. 12

includes: tendou, semi, shirabu, kuroo, oikawa, asahi, sugawara

tw(s): coarse/foul/strong language used in shirabu's, semi's, and oikawa's lines

view m.list!

tendou: merry crisis christmas :DD

semi: wow

tendou: is 2021 not a wholeass crisis?

semi: true

semi: SOUNDS SMUTTY

shirabu: yeah no shit

semi: okay smartass

kuroo: rip xoxo 💔

oikawa: that's it i talk to you no more

kuroo: you're not talking though

kuroo: you're texting 😌✨

oikawa: smartass

asahi: a few more months until we hit our 3rd year

sugawara: NOPE

sugawara: i refuse to believe this

sugawara: time is a paradox i am living a lie

#💫—haikyuu as things my friends and i have said #💫—qq writes #writeblr #writing #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu #tendou #semi #shirabu #kuroo #oikawa #asahi #sugawara

[calqlate]

haikyuu as things my friends and i have said pt. 11

includes: semi, shirabu, hanamaki, matsukawa, tsukishima, kageyama, kuroo, kenma

tw(s): mentions of smut

view m.list!

semi: moms are always impressed no matter what and over the smallest thing like

semi: tendou and i were walking

semi: and this stupid child got praised for climbing the stairs

shirabu: you go child

semi: LIKE HELLO SOMEONE PRAISE ME FOR CLIMBING THE STAIRS

shirabu: go bestie give us nothing

hanamaki: next time we'll praise each other for walking

matsukawa: damn that strut gurl

matsukawa: you slaying

hanamaki: you're hitting every one of those delicate steps

tsukishima: what are we talking about

kageyama: tokyo revengers

tsukishima: thanks

kenma: ok nice

[context: kuroo is writing smut]

kuroo: HE BRUSHED AGAINST MY BUNDLE OF NERVES

kuroo: HE GOT ON MY NERVES

kenma: ok not nice

#💫—haikyuu as things my friends and i have said #💫—qq writes #writeblr #writing #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu #semi #shirabu #hanamaki #matsukawa #tsukishima #kageyama #kuroo #kenma

[calqlate]

haikyuu as things my friends and i have said pt. 8

includes: oikawa, kuroo, tsukishima, yachi, tanaka, nishinoya, sugawara, ennoshita

warning: foul language in oikawa's and matsukawa's lines

view m.list!

oikawa: yes sweetie 😖😄 daddy is all yours

kuroo: daddy will be calling you mommy tonight 💋💋💋

oikawa: i read so much weird shit but pet names is where i draw the line

iwaizumi: what kind of pet names and how bad of a pet name is bad

oikawa: i think the basic ones are fine

matsukawa: "ey bitch"

nishinoya: call me senpai and i'll share the goods

sugawara: gives me the "call me daddy and i'll—"

nishinoya: yeah that's what i was going for

tanaka: noya and i read a fic like that

tanaka: it was funny

ennoshita: trust you and noya to find weird smut

#💫—haikyuu as things my friends and i have said #💫—qq writes #writeblr #writing #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu #oikawa #kuroo #tsukishima #yachi #tanaka #nishinoya #sugawara #ennoshita

[calqlate]

haikyuu as things my friends and i have said pt. 9

includes: kageyama, hanamaki, matsukawa, kiyoko, tanaka

view m.list!

[in music history class]

teacher: can someone name me a crucial event that occured towards the end of tchaikovsky's life?

kageyama: he died

hanamaki: are we... soulmates 🥺🥺🥺

matsukawa: 😳😳😳😳 come here you...

hanamaki: what if the whole gang cosplayed as genshin characters

matsukawa: you'd be sucrose

hanamaki: for some reason i keep thinking of sucrose as in the sugar

hanamaki: i could dress up as a sugar molecule

hanamaki: that would be nice

kiyoko: say hi i need to see if everyone's contact is saved

tanaka: hey baby girl ;)

#💫—haikyuu as things my friends and i have said #💫—qq writes #writeblr #writing #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu #kageyama #hanamaki #matsukawa #kiyoko #tanaka

[calqlate]

haikyuu as things my friends and i have said pt. 7

includes: suna, atsumu, osamu, oikawa, kuroo, bokuto, kenma, sugawara, nishinoya

warning: foul language in atsumu's, oikawa's, and kenma's line

view m.list!

suna: i hate all of you guys

suna: none of you guys have school tomorrow right?

atsumu: i do <//3

suna: okay then i love you

atsumu: you love me because i have school too right 🥰

suna: yes 🥰

osamu: damn suna that's really superficial

atsumu: damn that's not true love 💔💔💔

oikawa: BAD KUROO

kuroo: HAHAHAHAH careful there i might just be into pet play

oikawa: HOLY SHIT YOU'RE SO MUCH KINKIER THAN ME

atsumu: WHAT in the kuroo this chat is spicy

oikawa: joke's on you maybe i like treating you as my pet

bokuto: kenma is cat

kenma: nya nya bitch

sugawara: come home soon noya <//3

nishinoya: i sound lost HAHAHAHAHA

sugawara: lost in the sea of procrastination

#💫—haikyuu as things my friends and i have said #writeblr #writing #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu #suna #atsumu #osamu #oikawa #kuroo #bokuto #kenma #sugawara #nishinoya

[calqlate]

haikyuu as things my friends and i have said pt. 6

includes: aran, suna, bokuto, daishou, terushima, kuroo, oikawa, iwaizumi

view m.list!

— happy chinese new year everyone!! since i can't give red packets, i'll provide some ✨quality humour✨ instead :>

aran: do japanese people date and break up after school cuz they don't see each other

suna: i think it's stupid shit like

suna: oh i am going to tokyo to study

suna: oh no senpai san daddy i am staying in this small village to help my parent's shop

bokuto: at this rate, daishou is gonna be the first to get married

daishou: wait and see

daishou: the writers haven't gotten started on season 2's plot yet

terushima: daichi you're so straight

kuroo: if you're comparing him to oikawa, then yes

oikawa: why does everyone shame me

iwaizumi: because you're shameful??? full of shame???

#💫—haikyuu as things my friends and i have said #💫—qq writes #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu hcs #aran #suna #bokuto #daishou #terushima #kuroo #oikawa #iwaizumi

[calqlate]

haikyuu as things my friends and i have said pt. 10

includes: matsukawa, iwaizumi, oikawa, daichi, sugawara, hanamaki

view m.list!

matsukawa: wanna test his soberness level rn?

iwaizumi: what's the test?

oikawa: kiss me

iwaizumi: you're either blushing or super flushed

oikawa: flash

iwaizumi: you aren't flashing anything...?

oikawa: do you want to see

iwaizumi: WHAT THE FAWK 😃

oikawa: 😃

daichi: yeah NO

daichi: GO HOME

sugawara: i am Home

sugawara: this is my beloved floor

daichi: THEN DRINK WATER

sugawara: not alcohol

sugawara: joshua hong

hanamaki: OIKAWA

hanamaki: WHY DIDN'T YOU GO TO UNIVERSAL STUDIOS

oikawa: COS TODAY IS MY SISTER'S BIRTHDAY

hanamaki: HAPPY BIRTHDAY SISTER

oikawa: HAHAHA

oikawa: she said thanks

#💫—haikyuu as things my friends and i have said #💫—qq writes #writeblr #writing #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu #matsukawa #iwaizumi #oikawa #daichi #sugawara #hanamaki

[calqlate]

haikyuu as things my friends and i have said pt. 2

includes: matsukawa, iwaizumi, hanamaki, suna, miya twins, hinata, kageyama, yachi, bokuto

view m.list!

matsukawa: bro you can ice skate by yourself in college

iwaizumi: there's no ice

hanamaki: pour some ice

hanamaki: then slide

hanamaki: slide to the right

hanamaki: slide to the left

matsukawa: cha cha real smooth

suna: good luck for your exam results friends

suna: the only bet i'm willing to make is that kita gets an A

atsumu: i'm gonna sulk for the rest of the day

osamu: aren't you gonna cry loudly and persistently

hinata: idh class on friday

kageyama: lol ofc it's the new year

hinata: bro don't attack me i don't keep track 😔

kageyama: lol i'm not attacking cuz idk either

yachi: what are yall doing hahaha

yachi: why are there sm deleted msgs

bokuto: we're playing hide and seek

#💫—qq writes #writeblr #writing #💫—haikyuu as things my friends and i have said #haikyuu as things my friends and i have said #haikyuu #matsukawa #iwaizumi #hanamaki #suna #miya twins #atsumu #osamu #hinata #kageyama #yachi #bokuto

[calqlate]

haikyuu as things my friends and i have said pt. 1

includes: asahi, sugawara, oikawa, terushima, kuroo, daichi, yamaguchi, tanaka, kenma, nishinoya, ennoshita

view m.list!

— a/n: ig i'm making my debut series on tumblr with this 🤠

asahi: so like

asahi: can someone propose to me

asahi: i just wanna know what it feels like

sugawara: will you marry me

sugawara: so how did it feel

oikawa: did terushima lose his ear virginity?

terushima: yea

terushima: you mean ear piercings right

kuroo: no we mean like your ears having sex

daichi: is anyone free this week?

daichi: there's a 1-for-1 ticket sale at the zoo

yamaguchi: me

yamaguchi: 🥺

tanaka: i wanna go to the zoo

tanaka: where i belong 😌

kuroo: bruh i made fun of this dude in church and he's in an elite college rn

kenma: karma's a bitch

oikawa: okay friends start bullying me

tanaka: zhongli's ass is fat and for what reason

nishinoya: it's a god's ass

tanaka: he chose that ass when he made his body

tanaka: what a king

ennoshita: SHUT UP

ennoshita: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

#💫—haikyuu as things my friends and i have said #💫—qq writes #writeblr #writing #haikyuu #asahi #sugawara #oikawa #terushima #kuroo #daichi #yamaguchi #tanaka #kenma #nishinoya #ennoshita

[calqlate]

haikyuu as things my friends and i have said pt. 5

includes: sugawara, kuroo, daichi, kenma, shibayama, hanamaki, matsukawa, oikawa, ennoshita, tanaka

view m.list!

— i'm back minnasan here's to me posting ✨quality✨ content again! 😽

sugawara: WE REALLY WENT FROM WATTPAD LEVELS TO REDDIT

kuroo: good let's get to 4chan

sugawara: onii-chan 🥺

kuroo: ohayou

daichi: SHUT UP

daichi: GO TOUCH SOME GRASS

kenma: i want to say something but idk if it's appropriate to say it

shibayama: just say it

kenma: i was gonna say that's a new experience of deepthroating 💀💀💀

shibayama: lev is literally in this groupchat T.T

hanamaki: oikawa is wayyyy ahead of us he doesn't count in this s/o competition

matsukawa: oikawa is a different species

oikawa: THATS WHY I ATTRACT ANIMALS INSTEAD OF ACTUAL GIRLS

ennoshita: we're not some brothel

tanaka: bro thel tho

#💫—haikyuu as things my friends and i have said #💫—qq writes #writeblr #writing #haikyuu #sugawara #kuroo #daichi #kenma #shibayama #hanamaki #matsukawa #oikawa #ennoshita #tanaka

[calqlate]

HAIKYUU AS THINGS MY FRIENDS AND I HAVE SAID

haikyuu as infinitely dumb things that my friends and i have said

— THE PARTS

1 | asahi + daichi + ennoshita + kenma + kuroo + nishinoya + oikawa + tanaka + terushima + sugawara + yamaguchi

2 | bokuto + hanamaki + hinata + iwaizumi + kageyama + matsukawa + miya twins + suna + yachi

3 | bokuto + daichi + ennoshita + hinata + kuroo + nishinoya + sugawara + tanaka

4 | kuroo + lev + nishinoya + oikawa + semi + shirabu + sugawara + tanaka + yaku

5 | daichi + ennoshita + hanamaki + kenma + kuroo + matsukawa + oikawa + shibayama + sugawara

6 | aran + bokuto + daishou + iwaizumi + kuroo + oikawa + terushima

7 | bokuto + kenma + kuroo + miya twins + nishinoya + oikawa + sugawara + suna

8 | ennoshita + kuroo + nishinoya + oikawa + sugawara + tanaka + tsukishima + yachi

9 | hanamaki + kageyama + kiyoko + matsukawa + tanaka

10 | daichi + hanamaki + iwaizumi + matsukawa + oikawa + sugawara

11 | hanamaki + kageyama + kenma + kuroo + matsukawa + semi + shirabu + tsukishima

12 | asahi + kuroo + oikawa + semi + shirabu + sugawara + tendou

13 | atsumu + bokuto + iwaizumi + kageyama + kuroo + sugawara + suna + terushima

14 | bokuto + kuroo + oikawa + yaku

15 | akaashi + akiteru + bokuto + hanamaki + kuroo + matsukawa + oikawa + saeko

16 | atsumu + kuroo + oikawa + suna + terushima

back to serieses masterlist

back to haikyuu masterlist

back to grand masterlist

© CALQLATE. all rights reserved. please do not copy, modify, repost, or translate my works on any platform.

#💫—qq's masterlist #💫—haikyuu as things my friends and i have said #💫—qq writes #writeblr #writing #haikyuu

[calqlate]

HAIKYUU (SERIESES)

so that's love series

haikyuu as things my friends and i have said

haikyuu as kdrama things

back to haikyuu masterlist

back to grand masterlist

© CALQLATE. all rights reserved. please do not copy, modify, repost, or translate my works on any platform.

#💫—qq's masterlist #💫—qq writes #writeblr #writing #haikyuu materlist #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu #💫—otp series #💫—haikyuu as things my friends and i have said #💫—general haikyuu