#( ;; i am SO sorry he's so judgemental. )

[steakout-05]

apologies to my followers who don't watch Star Trek but i still cannot get over the way Data enters the bridge in episode 2 of TNG after having just boinked Tasha. look at him. the style. the lean. the confidence.

this is the fruitiest android i have ever seen!

#star trek #star trek data #data tng #so context: basically everyone on the u.s.s enterprise catches an infection from another ship that makes them act drunk #because they were investigating what happened to the crew after receiving a strange and concerning message from them #basically they were all dead from the ship's emergency latch getting borked because everyone was drunk and their judgement was impaired #so they ended up messing with the ship and got frozen to death #this spreads to the u.s.s enterprise through touch and when it gets to tasha she ends up finding data #and tasha's like ''hey bbg you're 'fully functional' right? wanna smash'' and data's like ''why yes of course i am fully functional #and yes i do want to partake in this 'smashing' activity'' #and then they bang #and the infection spreads to data (despite him being an android and not a human which implies the infection is quite strong) #because tasha touched him #and this is the way he waltzes into the bridge afterwards. keep in mind he is usually not this emotive like at all #he's so babygirl #you will likely only see dataposting for the next few weeks im so sorry #i love data so much you dont understand

[slavicafire]

was on the verge of getting a sort of... "guilty pleasure" type of crush. on a guy you wouldn't want to have a crush on, for multiple reasons. the type of crush you'd be reluctant to admit to. the crush that makes you kind of wince when you think about it too long.

saw him last night and apparently he shaved his face entirely and also got a buzzcut and now looks like an overboiled beet's infant beet baby. I am safe

#żmija gada #sorry to body shame baby faced men who shave against every single person's on this earth better judgement #I am still lowkey attracted to him emotionally and ideologically. but luckily physically he's so offputting to me now #thank the gods

[anxiously-sidequesting]

Okay Girlies I need you all to answer this one question for me. I haven't played through Karamelle or Novus yet and I've only seen and heard snippets of Dasein so I don't know all that much ahout him. Reblog/tag why y'all want to fuck him- I mean marry him (or just something you really like about him)

#guys im sorry he sounds too much like someones grandfather he's so goofy /lh #i love him he's dear to my heart but more akin to a weirdly shaped cheeto you find in a bag. quirky and amusing #NOT ME THINKING ABOUT OMNIMAN'S “shes more of like a- a uh pet to me!” #THIS ISNT ME JUDGING BTW THERE IS NO JUDGEMENTAL TONE IN THIS POST #im just actually intrigued bc i wanna know more about dasein and why he's so hot to people #im probs gonna make a post about what i love most about him before and after i play through novus to compare my opinions #thats the ONLY reason why i dont talk about dasein enough bc i know next to shit about him HEKSJAKSHE #i like all the science and philosphy thay surrounds his lore and character personally #like from the scenes that ive seen him in you judt learn so much about him and the world around him through his eyes #so far it seems like he's a character that immerses you in the story extremely well. idk how to explain it its like he lives and breathes it #wizard101 #w101 #wiz101 #dasein #text posts #this post is actually so goofy because here i am like “why do you guys want to tap an old man”- #-and literally my last post was “why is the sea monster so fucking hot” JSKSMSJSJAK

[toasteaa]

how are you feeling about the neuvillette cameo in clorinde's trailer?

#toast talks #Look I am SO ready to get Clorinde. She and Sigewinne being on the same banner is torture to me. #BUT! #You put my husband in front of me and I'm immediately going to lock onto him and be abnormal #Side stepping how good the track that played in her trailer was and how her view of brutally enforcing judgment when needed #is a necessary factor in upholding the court of law when that judgement and justice is challenged and how resigned and #unfortunate Neuvillette finds the decision (yet maintains that the decision is irreversible) #There's just something about that resignation but adherence to the rules and guidelines of the court that does something to me #I don't even really want to call it resignation. More like...this is something that he's seen over and over again. #Centuries worth of trials ending in the accused declaring a duel instead of accepting their fate. #And each and every time it ends the same way: a death that could have been avoided had they not tried to upend judgement. #Believing they could outrun their fate and beat a Champion Duelist...it's asinine. It doesn't make sense to him. #But it doesn't need to make sense to him. It's not something he needs to understand here. That is not his role in court. #He feels no guilt. No shame. Just a deep set acceptance that this is the decision that some humans will take and he must oversee it. #He feels no enjoyment while watching this performance. There's no pleasure in the finality of it. Yet he's forced to watch every time. #And after each perfomance - each unfortunate death waltz - another storm sweeps over Fontaine. #UH. THIS WAS JUST SUPPOSED TO BE ME THINKING ABOUT HOW PRETTY HE WAS AND HOW HIS VOICE SOUNDED. #SORRY SORRY THE OTHER BRAINCELL TOOK OVER BEFORE I COULD STOP IT AND WDJWKDKSKD

[nymphiya]

FUCKKKKKK I FROGOT

WATCHOG DAY IN UNOVA WAS YESTERDAY

EHEHE WE ARE IN FOR AN EARLY SPRING FINALLY ꉂ(ˊᗜˋ*)♡ !!!!!!!

#i am so sorry for being unovan #BUT ARC BLESS PUNXSUTAWNEY PHIL #been serving our region since 1887 🫡 #to be fair he didnt see his shadow technically they just had him pick a scroll . . #but i digress !! i still trust his judgement /silly #diwata rambles #rotomblr #pokeblr #pkmn irl #pokeblogging #pokeblog roleplay #pkmn rp #pokeblog rp

[azol-otl]

Random Jason Hijinks I either wish would happen someday or find amusing to think about.

Rose and Jason break Eddie out of hell and steal his soul back from Neron. Jaime is dragged along by Rose because he and Eddie were “friends a few reboots ago”. Jason asked Roy who sent him Connor who is suffering™.

Pre-Red Hood Jason and Pre-Green Arrow Connor first meet up back when Jason was part of the All-Caste hunting a demon. It’s a one-shot adventure and the things you have to know are:  

a) this is before Jason’s growth spurt so he’s over a head shorter than Connor.

b) Connor isn’t a cape so excuse him for not understanding demons and fucking up hilariously a few times.

c) When Jason tries to kill the demon who is possessing the human, he and Connor fight about it. The fight ends when the demon explodes out of the person like the Pus of Man from Dark Souls 3.

d) Talia is the one who finds and picks up Jason from the adventure (Connor thinks she’s his mom and Jason just didn’t inherit the melanin) and is also the one who gives Connor contact information for Jason because she wants him to have some sort of friend.

e) They never actually learned the other’s name so anytime they’d hear about Red Hood or Green Arrow they literally don’t know it’s that guy they met as teenagers.

Jason decides to actually dust off his mystic training when Dick walks in and Jason gets hit with so many bad vibes he’s genuinely worried something is wrong with Dick.  

Jason: “Did they not fix the Brother Blood mind control thing fully? Did Raven miss something? Isn’t Dick friends with a million people? How have they all missed this????”

It ends with bringing Danny Chase back to life and the only person remotely happy about it is Jason and even that’s a stretch.

Rose, why are you part of the Wild Hunt?!!!

What do you mean Biz got taken by the fae?!

Roy, why is this werewolf saying he’s your husband?!

Eddie, why didn’t you tell me you were a prince of hell? What do you mean that one of Trigon’s sons is buried in Gotham?!!! No wait, you still haven’t told me how you’re a prince of hell!

Jason and Talia's road trip where Jason comes to the uncomfortable realization that he views Talia as a mother/aunt figure.

Bonus Artemis suffering Jason’s Mom Has it Going On.

Jason gets a new dog named Ellie and he loves her and Dog very much. What do you mean she’s a Blue Lantern!?

Ellie is short for Elpis and she’s absolutely Hope Corgi.

Roy finds out that he has a whole-ass checking account under one of his aliases that he never knew about. Turns out Jason created it for him years ago and Roy’s actually under W.E.  employed as an independent contractor and he’s been making 6 figures for years because Jason never bothered telling anyone that he still owns Wayne R&D.

Jason slowly but surely claims Park Row and the surrounding areas as his territory. It has the unforeseen consequence of magical folk moving into the neighborhood because Gotham is a nightmare to live in normally, Magic Gotham is even worse and the only people who can survive are big hitters like Blood, Zatanna, and Ivy or small fries like the kitchen witch near Leslie’s. Welcome to the big leagues, Jason.

Jason keeps getting mistaken for Jason Blood and it is annoying. One day some demon hunters threw something at Jason and did anyone know Jason used to be in heaven because he sure didn’t and these angel wings are a fucking nightmare.

Rose busts a gut laughing because she somehow became friends with the least demon-y demon Eddie and Jason as an angel.

Jason, Ivy, Sideways, and Impulse (Impulse voice: “Why am I even here?”) vs the Madness Wavelength in Arkham.

Jason kills Joker and finds out that he cannot. Not as in “He doesn’t die” or “There will be a new one” but a secret third option, “The universe literally resets the day every time he’s killed.” Instead of being a tragedy, it becomes a comedy as killing Joker slowly becomes Jason’s go-to when shit goes wrong/killing him is good stress relief. Stephanie discovers what happens because she’s had to write the same essay nine times once. Instead of being horrified they (and then Helena, Tim, Duke, etc.) make killing Joker a gag. The only ones not allowed to kill the Joker are Dick and Bruce because then the universe decides it’s the bad timeline instead of just resetting again.

Tim: *drops his latte on a hot guy and then embarrasses himself in public trying to apologize and becomes a meme.*

Tim: I guess I have to kill Joker now.

Jason and Kory remeeting and wow it’s really awkward that we only got close because of a universe meddler and then you dipped and never contacted me again even though I was a hundred percent serious that you were one of my first friends and are very important to me.

Oh no. Not the talking. Not communication! Kory take mercy on me and just drop me like a bad memory don’t have us open a dialogue where we reconcile all of the bullshit that happened to us and the fact that we did genuinely get close at very low points in our lives and be willing to try and be friends again!

Give! Kory! All! The! Friends! She doesn’t care if you think it’s a bad idea, it's her life!

Gotham Vigilante Tabletop Club (GVTC) featuring Jason, Tim, Stephanie, Duke, Helena, and Harper. They each get a turn as dm and every one of them brings in a different game.

Why is Damian’s friend (Colin) asking me for love advice? I’m a gay disaster ask anyone else please. ??? I guess I can try to help??? Who’s your crush?

It’s Lian and Jason regrets agreeing to help because Roy is going to murder him.

Countdown 2 Electric Boogaloo. Except for this time they were all shoved into the dimension separately and by separate events and there is no danger. It is just a multiversal road trip with the people who vexed you greatly but are slightly grown up now.

Bonus scene includes Jason’s gleeful face when he realizes he understands what all of those words Donna keeps muttering under her breath mean because Artemis was a bro and taught him Themysciran Greek.

#I didn't mean for all of them to sound like comedies but sometimes that just happens #People may hate on the all-caste for not being Jason enough or whatever #But have we ever stopped to think that Damian is related to an immortal cult and Duke is the son of an eldritch being #And Dick is related to an unrelated cult and just all the weird shit that happens in Gotham anyways? #Why can all these exist and Jason not also have mystic monk training he never uses #Listen I don't know much about Gotham's magic population but I'm pretty sure the place is awful to live in with the nine different curses #So having a dude that's basically a mage-killer claim a territory can only be a good thing for their safety #Plus I'm positive that magic folk would keep property values low because who would go looking for magic users in Park Row #Everyone was written terribly for rhato but Jason and Kory had the potential to be a really interesting relationship #Just this lack of judgement and ability to not have to shave down all of your sharp edges for one another #also I do really like the idea of them trying romance or sex and then deciding that they need friends more and then staying friends #Gotham Vigilante Tabletop Club my beloved #Look Duke and Tim canonically play tabletop games and if dc would finally acknowledge that Stephanie and Jason are nerds they would too #I miss Colin and the idea of him and Jason being disaster siblings or disaster guardian-child is important to me #I don't know if it's canon but considering linguistic drift Themyscira should either have its own language or dialect #and Donna should use it to say mean things under her breath #Jason Todd #I am not tagging anyone else their tags deserve to be Bat-Free #oh boy do I love how I can't make indents in even in html. Sorry for the eyesore whoever reads this mess

[hecksupremechips]

Persona romance routes are all pretty bad but damn they really hit rock bottom with p3p femc route like the misogyny is very blatant and it’s almost hilarious like look at the Shinjiro romance. When you do his social link he’s like very clearly respectful of Kotone as a leader and explicitly says stuff like "oh yeah you’re clearly the best fighter we have, I don’t really know much about fighting like you do, I hope I’m not dragging you down, you’re doing a good job as leader just remember to take care of yourself, everyone looks up to you I know you can rely on them" etc. like he has faith in her leading abilities. But then when you romance him he’s like got dialogue like "bwah bluh i gotta look after you because you’re a GIRL and you need to stick by me, a big strong MAN so you don’t get hurt" and "don’t wear that revealing outfit in front of other guys 👺" and it’s like. Does he respect her or not and also like it doesn’t make sense for him to look down on her for being a girl cuz he literally has never not been led by a girl leader during his time in sees and Mitsuru in particular really has her shit together when it comes to being responsible and a good fighter and she’s always known the most about Tartarus

It’s also like. Idk maybe its just me I’m not a girl so FUCK IF I KNOW but to me the appeal of romancing Shinji is the fact that he’s sweet and sensitive and gentle and has respect for you despite the fact that he acts all scary. That’s like, what made me like this character in the first place. But the writers seem to think what women want is for a BIG STRONG MAN to protect them because they are just DELICATE WOMEN who are inferior in every way it’s like. Shut upppp thanks

#persona #persona 3 #shinjiro aragaki #this is soooooooo obviously not the only romance route that sucks in this game yall know which one im referring to 🤨 #and i actually tend to think of the shinji romance as the best one in the series cuz at least his confession scene is the only unique one #that really highlights who he is as a character and goes with the story #but ughh just idk its so annoying how the writers cant decide if hes sexist or not its really weird and its like #really shows how poorly the writers think of women playing their game its like all the romance options are trash and then your boyfriend is #sexist to you and its so clearly done in a way thats supposed to be romantic which is. ew #like idk if my partner was like talking about how i need to stay close to them because im a weak girl and they are strong man #especially when im literally the leader of the team and have been doing perfectly fine thus far and am clearly the strongest here #id simply run him over with a bulldozer #and its like this will all the guys in this game its like girl shut up and eat glass #meanwhile when youre a male protagonist your gf will kiss your ass to the point its infuriating #and their character arcs can never be too grand cuz then they might not wanna fuck you if they realize they have worth #uh sorry my brain is all over the place basically i hate persona romances lol and i hate how they wrote shinji in his #like dammit i dont want him cuz hes gonna protect me like a man i want him cuz he isnt great at fighting and prefers cooking and puppy dogs #and has respect for me and trusts my judgement and asks me to talk about my life and interests and smiles sweetly #but god forbid a woman in this series be respected i guess

[boltgunkiller-archive]

time to watch born this way aka the most irritating episode ever

#NOT ACTUALLY. i enjoy this episode. i have fun with it #but will’s treatment of emma’s ocd makes me genuinely furious #forget everything else the fact he pressures her so heavily into putting ocd on her shirt is egregious #with carl you could see he genuinely cared for emma and wanted to help out the best that he could #i honestly wished they were endgame #but with will??? he literally was like “air out your mental health struggles that you’re still struggling to get support with. Right now. t #a ton of possibly judgemental teenagers. this is definitely going to help you. Also i’m going to trigger an ocd panic attack but it’s fine #because i DEFINITELY know what i’m doing because i have a crush on you.“ #also might i add will’s the definition of that “consensual work-place relationship” thing ned from try guys had going on #like multiple times he was so. weird for that (ignoring literally everything else he’s done btw like he’s very obviously weird #in other ways too…) #ughhhh. the way he treats emma makes me so MAD. he wasn’t supportive at all and clearly didn’t want her to get help #he wanted to fix her but he ended up making her even worse #idk why they just let that happen either but Okay #sorry 🫤 i am so irritated by him. freak #gleeposting

[mychanicalbrides]

sorry for black parade posting again but. I think one of problems with it is Gerard really doesn't push his voice as much he does in say bullets. especially since the main focus in black parade is the vocals and like the lyrics , so your listening to tuned down guitars and drums and tuned down voice so like. you basically have nothinf

people hate on bullets but his vocal performance mixed with the kinda shitty (affectionate) guitar and drums is so good. and on the other side of the spectrum danger days is heavily produced but they lean into it by making it more pop like and more wow colors. more "Disney song" as my friend called it

yeah that's my MCR rant thanks

#yap #mcr #my chemical romance #i am genuinly so sorry im so judgemental of mcr #i like ptv more obviously so im used to vic really screaming those words #mcr does not scream and whine as much he ks just. singing #but the instruments SOUND like he sjould be screamign but hes not? #damn

[kaeyaphile]

this family christmas hasn’t been too bad except apparently my sister invited her super conservative asshole of a coworker for some reason??? or very possibly he just. showed up. so now i would simply just like to leave 🫠

#kayleigh.txt #i mean every member of my family is a conservative asshole but like. this guy is ESPECIALLY an asshole #he was helping us remodel/renovate our 50+ year old double wide trailer this past summer #and was being super condescending and miserable and judgemental the ENTIRE time #like. wow i am SO fucking sorry we can’t all be rich and live in brand new houses instead of rotting trailers like. my bad #like my father is a 77 year old disabled veteran he doesn’t have a lot of money #and i am a 30 year old disappointment who has no money that lives with him/takes care of him lmfao #idk my family consists of ignorant conservative republican assholes and i am so tired #desperately need to get a new/better job since i lost mine and also a friend or two to move tf out with because #like we stay civil but at what cost (my mental state and/or will to live) #idk i am on my period and i am exhausted and my head hurts and my cramps are so bad today #i just wanna go home and curl up in bed and play baldur’s gate 3 or horizon forbidden west until i pass tf out 🤷🏼‍♀️

[inkykeiji]

SPOILERS FOR THE LEAKS in my ask

.

.

.

Clari did you see the new reveal about Dabi’s quirk. I’m fucking dying. Screaming, crying, throwing up.

He was always perfect :,(

But we already knew that

bnha manga spoilers

i did, kind of! i honestly try not to look too far into them & make assumptions until i can read the whole chapter for myself (because sometimes i find the leaks summaries are misleading or poorly explained) so i’m not 100% sure how i feel about this! i have a lot of questions. for example, based on the summary we got, it says that new abilities are awoken only close to death. so how far, theoretically, would enji had had to push touya to get this to manifest/show up/come out of him? would he had to push him to the brink of death to get it? why didn’t it show up when touya was 13 and nearly burned to death? or did it show up then at age 13, somehow, and dabi’s just been conveniently hiding it until now? additionally, does this actually have any impact on neutralizing his flames and the fact that his body was not built for them? does it help in that aspect? can it help in that aspect? many many maaaany questions.

i said this last night in my little rant/vent post but if dabi ends up living i will be thoroughly and immensely disappointed. as much as i love dabi with every fiber of my being and my whole entire heart, and as much as i wish there was a way for him to continue living, him having a well written and impactful ending to his story matters more to me and it’s what he deserves as a character. he deserves a GOOD ending. dabi surviving this makes absolutely zero sense and would be such a horrid ending for his story as a whole, especially considering the fact that, logically, if he were to live the only place he’d end up is jail for life; he can’t claim insanity, not when they have a video of him fully and lucidly explaining and admitting to his crimes. he knew exactly what he was doing all along, obv. letting him off with a slap on the wrist because he has ~trauma~ (aw, boohoo, so do i and i don’t murder innocents) and is the number one hero’s son is so fucking stupid, not to mention extremely unfair and goes against pretty much all of dabi’s beliefs (false heroes, heroes being treated differently etc).

anyway sorry i went off on a tangent there HAHA i could write u an entire essay on why i think dabi’s end should be his (and enji’s!) death so i tried to keep it brief while still explaining myself properly but!! honestly, i’m extremely critical when it comes to dabi’s character arc/story, and him not getting the well written, heart wrenching ending he deserves has been a heavy fear of mine preeeetty much since i picked up this series.

in sum: not sure how i feel about the sudden ice quirk thing, trying not to overreact or make any serious judgements until this whole bit of the story has played out. trying v hard to have faith and trust in hori and his skills as a storyteller because i know he has the capacity to make this phenomenal and i hope to whatever god is out there that it doesn’t get fucked up by fan service.

#bnha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #tw death #just in case haha #sorry this probably wasn’t the answer u we’re looking for aaaah >.< #i’m just ?????? so so so critical when it comes to anything in his story #i am glad the family appears to be making good on their promise to ‘stop him as a family’ #i just hope he doesn’t live LMAO #like i said last night what would *really* be gut wrenching would be if they all got to say goodbye before he passed #or if they all get to tell him what they’ve been meaning to tell him #ie ‘i love you’ ‘we forgive you’ ‘we’re sorry this happened’ etc #THAT would hurt and that would be a pretty decent ending for him #i’m also like still hung up on the frankenstein thing because i so desperately wanted this to end like frankenstein does #with creation + creator dying together #and obv it still might!!!!! i’m trying so hard not to overreact or make quick judgements without all the info!!! #anyway i’m rambling again haha #the thing is;;;; is that i don’t believe dabi’s story is meant to be one of redemption or forgiveness #that’s SHOUTO #i think dabi’s story is meant to be a cautionary tale #but i digress #hope ur having a good thursday my friend!!! #stay safe and drink lots of water <3 #staple chan #clari gets mail

[academiaipromise]

this teen drama villain list having polo from elite and dan scott from one tree hill under “kind of rooted for them”….did you. did you watch either of those shows. holy hell.

#polo I was like okay that’s just bad judgement but sure maybe he is a teenager I suppose but DAM SCOTT?! #human scum of the earth dan scott?! #the guy who watched his replacement heart get eaten on screen by a dog as a punchline because he was so evil no one cares that much HIM?! #kt tangents #elite #one tree hill #genuinely hell is not enough for dan Scott. a disgusting shit stain of a man I am sorry #he is fictional but the rage is still there

[greatloss]

society if diego and allison hung out more

#mobile. #in all seasons but especially 3 #he would've done SO much to validate her Anger that i doubt she would've boiled over So Much #like she still would've but i feel like having diego in her corner with zero judgement for just how fucked up she feels... #it would've made a big difference #whatever <3 society if me and my tumblr mutuals were in the writers room :/ #tua3 spoilers // #also sorry for all the ooc i am stuck at work </3

[sugarsweets9987]

If you like Lear fan content, you should look at the blog ask-characters. They have asks open for Lear and have done a lot of posts for him!

Maybe I should! It'll definitely be a fun scroll to check out what they've posted prior! Thank you for making me aware of this blog :)

#i really do love lear hes like. genuinely one of my favorite characters ever. #i am like. secretly hoping for him to become mainline eventually. and by that i mean not forever condemned to a mobile gacha game #im really sad more people dont know about him. i feel like hed be quite well liked if people did know #or maybe my judgement is just being clouded by the fact that the exact same scenario that took place with Lear happened with ANOTHER- #-character previously who ended up becoming one of my favorites and is also pretty well liked. #the scenario in question being start game/show-dislike character bc theyre mean-get shown why theyre like that-absolutely love the character #gosh im so sorry for rambling in the tags 😭😭😭 i just didnt want to clog the main post with irrelevant ramblings. anyways #i love lear! 10/10 my favorite pokemas character and maybe one of if not the number 1 of my favorite pokemon characters of all time

[inkskinned]

kids remind me, often, of the things i've taught myself out of.

i have a big dog. he looks like a deer. he is taller than most young children. while we were on a trail the other day, a boy coming our direction saw us and froze. he took a step back and said: "i'm feeling nervous. your - your dog is kind of big."

goblin and i both stopped walking immediately. "he is kind of a big dog," i admitted. "he's called a greyhound. they are gentle but they are pretty tall, which is kind of scary, you're right. their legs are so long because they are made for running fast. i am sorry we scared you. would you like us to stand still while you move past us, or would you feel more safe in your body if we move and you stay still?'

"oh. i didn't know that about - greyhounds. i think i ... i want to stay still," he said. at this point, his adult had caught up to us. "i'm nervous about the dog," he told her, "so i'm - i'm gonna stay still." she didn't argue. she didn't make fun of him. she just smiled at him and at me and held his hand while goblin and i, with as wide of a berth as we could make, crept our way through.

behind us, i heard him exhale a deep breath and kind of laugh - "he was really big, huh? she said it's because greyhounds have to go fast."

"he was big," she said. "i understand why that could have made you a little scared."

"yeah. next time i - next time do you think i could maybe ask to touch him? when - i mean, next time, maybe, if i'm not nervous."

later, going to a work event, in the big city, i stood outside, trembling. my social anxiety as a caught bird in my chest. i took a deep breath and turned to my coworker. she's not even really my friend yet. i told her: "i feel nervous about this. i am not used to meeting new people, ever since covid."

she laughed, but not in a mean way. she said she was nervous too. she reached her hand out and held mine, and we both took another deep breath and walked in like that, interlinked. a few people asked us - together? - and i told the truth: i feel nervous, and she's helping. over and over i watched people relax too, admitting i feel really kind of shy lately actually, thank you for saying that.

the next time i go to an event, and i feel a little scared, i ask right away: wanna hold hands? this feels a little dangerous. i hesitate less. i don't hide it as much. i watch for other people who are also nervous and say - it's kinda hard, huh?

i know, logically, i'm not good at asking for help. but i am also not good at noticing when i need help. i've trained myself out of asking completely, but i've also trained myself to never accept my own fears or excuses. i have trained myself to tamp down every anxiety and just-push-through. i don't know what i'm protecting myself from - just that i never think to admit it to anyone.

but every person on earth occasionally needs comfort. every person on earth occasionally needs connection. many of us were taught independence is the same thing as never needing anything.

each of us should have had an adult who heard - i feel nervous and held our hand and asked us how we could be helped to feel safe. no judgement, and no chiding. many of us did not. many of us were punished for the ways that we seemed "weak".

but here is something: i am an adult now. and i get nervous a lot, actually. and if you are an adult and you are feeling a little nervous - come talk to me. we can hold hands and figure out what will help us feel safe in our bodies. and maybe, next time, if we're brave, we can pet the dog that's passing.

#spilled ink #warm up #so i have worked in childcare as a teacher for like 15 years #hence the language behind ''what helps you be safe in your body?'' #like you can tell by what i say here i have EXPERIENCE with kids. #but tbh the REAL teacher moment is watching a 6/7 year old say #''this makes me nervous #can you please not come closer?'' #as a teacher i was IMMEDIATELY like ... ahh whomever is raising you is doing an EXCELLENT job holy shit #verbalizing your fears? trusting an adult to listen? #ability to recognize a way you might feel safer? #like .... this kid's caregivers.... that one moment... i was like .... who are u i wanna french kiss you big on the mouth

[lokh]

do you like douma or no

im gonna be so real. i didnt get that far

#LOL <3 i feel like on principle i dislike him #but becos i never saw him proper i am withholding judgement. #i will say. and i guess spoiler alert #having fucked up emotions and knowing what kanao says to him later made me go like. ok. cool. guess ill die #so theres also a part of me that refuses to outright hate him Also on principle #anon #ask #im ambivalent about him. hes there lmak #im ambivalent until people ship him with akaza. sorry but i dont go for that snndjcjc