#(back on my TP bullshit by the way)

[zelink5ever]

Link picking up dogs & cats in Twilight Princess > any other game mechanic

#change my mind BUT YOU CAN'T!!!!! #the tiny cat being held so securely by him? I'M DYING! #twilight princess #link #cats #dogs #(back on my TP bullshit by the way) #sure. ascend changed my brain's neural pathways. but picking up the cats transformed my heart

[rawliverandgoronspice]

Thoughts on TOTK Ganon's appearance?

A lot of them!! Some would say: too many!!! Too much!! So much so that I was almost starting to turn this ask into a TotK early review, so I'll simplify my answer a little.

I have not finished the game yet, but I have seen the memories and a good chunk of it, but my opinion is therefore incomplete and subject to lapses in judgement/hasty positions. Also, my opinion on this is kind of a buzzkill and I already made people depressed and bummed out by explaining it, so I'm putting it under the cut to avoid hurting the good time of people who might not want to think about this/might disagree on this description alone (and I understand, since it's an opinion that also depresses me!!! I wanted to like everything!! I wanted to be blown away!!).

I think this Ganondorf is like OoT Ganondorf redux, but with even more problems than OoT Ganondorf, somehow??? which is honestly a flex at this point.

(I love OoT Ganondorf to be clear, but the flaws are pretty undeniable and you have to navigate through a lot of bullshit to get to the good parts)

Between the green skin that lacks any proper justification in the context of the game (I say this because I always hear "oooo but it's because he's a demon/undead" and uhhhh no, it's not because of that apparently), the fact that he's half naked but we're never ever meant to conceive him as a human person in any way but merely as a constant physical threat... Like I'm certain the famous Ganondorf Designer did their utmost to give him justice and there is an obvious attention to details in his design, and I'm not blaming them or anyone in particular for the Nintendo treatment --but it does add up to something quite uncomfortable in his characterization regardless. Even the fact that his face rigging is extremely flimsy and makes his emoting feels super strange bugs me (I heavily suspect it's because it's way less soft anime and structurally very different from any other face in the game, especially around the jaw, and so they had to do a custom rig and had to work around its limitations --it's all speculation, and I am always here for Unsettling Ganondorf Faces, but it kinda felt accidental and not intentional like in WW or TP). He's at once a lot and really not much. I find his characterization beyond barebones. Even Twilight Princess Ganondorf had more to him than this (like the man was fascinating in comparaison, show me a guy claiming to be chosen by the goddesses while sitting on a throne next to the decapitated statues of said goddesses any fucking day over what we got here)

I like the mechanical aspects he introduces; the gloom is cool, the hands that grab you are amazing, the bosses are such cool callbacks --and he's just causing messes and putting parasites in things!!! You go girl. I do love that he's having his little puppet Zelda run around causing hijinxes, that's very fun of him and my favorite part of his character in this game so far, tho I don't know if that even counts as him --and I'm not 100% sure what that even says about anyone?

But here's the thing: nobody (beyond * arguably * Rauru) seems to be allowed to have a character arc in this game, so it's hard to come up with anything to say since he's the sole cause of conflict while being almost completely motivation-less. I don't think anyone is written particularly competently honestly; it just shows more with him because a Ganondorf who's not well written reverts back to Ganondorf at his most generic expression of a baddie imaginable, with a side-serving of, quite frankly, really questionable orientalist themes that I see little excuse for being handled the way they were in the year of our lord 2023. Like I'm kinda shocked not to see more people calling the racism for what it is, because it's... pretty blatant. But that goes beyond Ganondorf and that's the whole game, and I said I would try to keep my scope limited, but!!! I will screech about imperialism eventually!!!

The other aspect of that discussion, which is inevitable, is how much does TotK erase everything that came before? I'm sure there are some amazing Zelda theorists out there who will find a way to reconcile all of this, but for now, I get the sense that Nintendo wanted to get away from their messy timelines (fair) and reinvoke some of the old songs for a new audience, and in doing so scrubbing the slate clean. My problem is not so much that they wanted to do this (even if I think BotW's solution was, strangely, much cleaner and more respectful of their own history), but what they introduced instead: and, in Ganondorf's case, he's kind of reduced to a parody of himself --one that is so unbelievably unsympathetic and impossible to relate to and also responsible of his own oppression and also not oppressed since he attacked first!! and also oppressive?? (I made A Sound when I heard the line about Rauru talking about "the last free gerudo village falling" bitch!! free according to whom??????)

Removing a lot of the Goddesses/Triforce thing (so far, maybe it will come up) also does this conflict zero favors in my opinion, as it makes everything and everyone's actions much less fated and an expression of self-determination/resilience over their predestination, and much more uhh political in a bad way, while still borrowing the aesthetics of divinity to justify its own mind-numbing moral simplicity.

I don't know. Maybe the third act reveal will really surprise me and make me reconsider my position, but it would take a lot to scrub off all the dedicated efforts made to flatten Ganondorf to his lowest possible denominator (him and his people honestly my follow-up to the gerudo post will probably be Oops! All Salt) for the sake of the most brazenly imperialistic and feudalist Hyrule to date and its really weird and uncomfortable reimagined origin story.

So uhhh, Thoughts Bad! I guess thoughts bad. :(

(Matt Mercer did a great job with what little he was given tho, and so did every voice actor)

#tloz #ganondorf #totk #totk spoilers #tears of the kingdom #totk critical #gerudos #asks #thoughts #thank you for the ask!! #I truly adore a lot of things about the game!! #the narrative is not a part of it #I find it so... cheerfully oppressive #my brain is really going overdrive over trying to figure out what bothers me so much about this story #so thanks for the outlet and sorryyyy #it's a rant #like a proper one #but I kind of feel insane to see fellow game writers not criticize any of this?? #like it's not at all a part of the conversation? #and it's not even the only thing I want to criticize about the narrative design #HOWEVER this is not at all a condamnation of anyone who do enjoy him or feel creatively compelled by his appearance here #I'm sure there are things to do that are cool and powerful #just like there were in OoT #but I just don't see an excuse for Nintendo itself to be so careless in handling these themes in 2023 #(again: the company not the individual devs) #(I've BEEN THERE --not in Nintendo but AAA-- I know the pain of complexity being rejected and rewritten as its opposite)

[drsteggy]

Can I get some DVD commentary on Uneasy Lies the Chosen of Farore? I know you have been in the process of rewriting the core fic and there are so many parts of it I love, so if you're able to talk about the rewriting aspect, that's a bonus!

I don't really have a specific section, more of a general point for discussion. Maybe less DVD commentary and more Farore interview exclusive!

One of the things I suspected on my first read through was that Twilight Princess really played a big part in furnishing the world. I went in to your fic having only played OOT and BOTW and there were some commonalities (though I think with OOT it might have been more of a general LOZ vibe because I'm not sure if you had played it at that point). Now that I've played TP and think back to Farore, I really feel its influence in the 'dungeon' design and some of the geography.

What parts do you think the games played in terms of influencing your worldbuilding on Farore?

Thanks so much for the ask, my god I love going on about this fic so much.

The rewrite has mostly been trying to bring it up to the level of how I write now vs how I did then. I lean into perfectionism (though I swear I’m much better than I was) and I will tweak things endlessly. There were a few things I felt were a little rough and never got smoothed the way I liked. The entire back half of the fic got pretty much written and published as I went week to week because I hit a spot where I just had to finish it- I knew how it would end, and I wanted to make sure it hit its marks. I wasn’t comfortable without having the safety net I had at the start, but the people who offered to beta at the start slowly shifted priorities and drifted…and man, if I could not keep a beta readers attention, how well I was doing here?

I mean, part of the fic is about imposter syndrome and learning who you are and all that and. Yeah. I half joke that Link is a self insert. I’m not the train wreck he is at the start of the fic by miles- but there are places where he is very much some hard projection. But by the second half of the fic he was getting his shit together, so I figured maybe I should try and follow that example.

So when I was first trying to deal with my Zelda brain rot, which was mostly Breath of the Wild brain rot, I ended up in a community of people who were very much Gamers who liked Zelda games. When I started Farore in its original six chapter form, I’d only played BOTW and the geography/map is 100% the BOTW map. The Zora’s Domain is differently laid out, but I think that’s it. I can show you where I decided specific things were otherwise.

What I learned from this was people who identify as gamers first don’t really gel well with people who identify as Zelda fans first. Like these guys liked to shit all over BOTW Zelda (a 16 year old girl in the game) and go on about how a non male hero should never be a thing and turned me into a defender of the princess (who I’d only experienced as her yelling at me to that point, and I wasn’t really a fan) Eventually I left because they decided to make fun of cosplay photos I shared.

But these guys were obsessed with Twilight Princess. Obsessed!!! In particular, they talked about the Arbiters Grounds constantly. They claimed, more than once, that it was the best dungeon in the series!! And this influenced me as I continued the fic.

I’m a Switch girl, though my Nintendo introduction involved a Wii in 2009- I was recently married and unable to work as I was trying to deal with state level bullshit about a professional license that ultimately kept me sidelined for 3 months. I was going stir crazy and spouse decided I should learn to play MarioKart. I still had this Wii and started to track down older games to play them.

I scored a copy of TP and had already decided the Arbiters Grounds was going to be the desert dungeon in the fic, but I wanted to play through it first. As it turned out, playing TP with a Wiimote was a bad combination for me and I kept slopping into lava before I even properly entered the Goron temple. I ended up watching someone do a let’s play of that dungeon before I wrote it.

Much, much later I learned my Wii could play GameCube games and I did eventually play TP via a GC disk. I remember getting a chill when I finally rocked up on the Arbiters Grounds, and I do not feel that I made that dungeon as scary as maybe I could have- I don’t think I changed a lot in the rewrite because there’s a lot in that chapter that I really love and thought came out well.

I had also played part of Skyward Sword as I was writing (and I feel that after BOTW, this game has the most influence on the fic, particularly over the Link/Zelda relationship) and I knew spiders were sort of a thing in Zelda games and that’s why I made the first dungeon boss sort of a spider (it only has six legs, so it isn’t a spider) I was unaware that there was a classic dungeon boss that had a spider form, so when people were going on about Lady Ghoma in my comments I was very what about that. I was super shocked when I hit that dungeon in TP lol.

I will say TP has some of my favorite dungeons and the most fun bosses. I kind of wish that I knew about Snowpeak Mansion and the City in the Sky as I was writing, but I think my Link would have had a mental breakdown at the very thought of that much hookshot. He probably would have been into making soup, though.

I tried to Easter egg as many games as I could as I wrote- except I decided this was before BOTW- so that game is not mentioned at all aside from the map. I think I did a pretty good job of it, considering I hadn’t played (and had not completed any) many as I was going. I definitely hit Ocarina of Time, Majora’s Mask, Twilight Princess, Skyward Sword, Links Awakening, Wind Waker and the manga from Hyrule Historia. One comment I got on the fic - one that really touched me, too - referenced the Picori and the reader assured my Link that he wasn’t really alone. And like, I literally teared up reading that, because it was something my Link needed to hear but he also probably wasn’t open to hearing it at that moment. And I had no idea what Picori were…and now I’m sort of sad I didn’t think to go back and try and weave them in, but maybe I’ll do so as the edit goes on.

#unmasked cardinal #writer asks #dvd commentary #uneasy lies the chosen of Farore #legend of zelda fanfiction #well I thought I posted it but I just hit save draft

[asterssunzephyr]

TP&TS!Nature Wives angst, maybe? 👀👀👀

THERES SO MUCH I COULD GIVE YOU OH MY GOD?? They are the main couple after all(..One of the only ones, actually. Looking at Desert Duo & ShadowBeans being split up bc one is dead.. then looks at NW & FH.. hm..)

CW: Alcohol, Bars

Implied gay thoughts about your best friend's best friend

Implied Flower Husbands

Implied Bisexual Ren

Implied Gay Thoughts™️ about tp&ts!Gem from tp&ts!Shelby

-----

"You hurt Jimmy, why are you in my house."

"To talk to you-"

"Talk?! What is there to talk about, Shelby?!"

"A lot! I didnt- I didnt mean to hurt him!"

"Then why did you?!"

"I dont know!"

"Bullshit! Get out of my house. Get out, and dont return."

"But-"

"Out. and give me the key back."

"Sweetheart-"

"Dont. You dont get to call me that anymore, leave."

He stared at her, at the way she still looked so ethereal while pissed at him, but gave the key up with a sigh. They had no right to stay here, not at 2 in the morning when Katherine probably just got back from the heroes base after working with Gem all night.

Okay, she didnt know if that last part was true but from how tense and stressed Katherine looked, Shelby assumed!.. They walked to the door and took one last look at the love of their life, friend, enemy her and left.

That night was spent in the closest bar to Katherines house since she didnt want to go half way across town to the small apartment in Boatem.

"What are you doing this far across town."

They shot their eyes up to the person who slid into the booth across from them. Brown eyes and blonde hair; Jimmy. Why was he in this bar?

"..I wanted to talk to Kat, she didnt wanna hear it. Didnt want to walk all the way back to Boatem at 2 am."

A sip of the liquor in the glass and Shelby finally looked the taller in the eyes.

"I get that," A sip from his own glass, "Scott dragged Gem and I here."

"Gem's here?"

"She is."

Shelby looked for the hint of a lie, but knew better. Jimmy would never lie about Gem's location, not when he cared about her like he does.

"Shelby!"

Another voice, and an arm around her shoulder. Scott, and Gem sliding into the booth on the other side next to Jimmy.

Now, Shelby knew 3 things about themself and their feelings:

1. They're hopelessly in love with Katherine

2. They liked women, and honestly women only

3. Feelings are confusing

One thing he didnt know, however, was to stop staring at Gem who currently looked outright beautiful. Now, she is one to lie quite often, but if shes calling someone beautiful, it's because she means it; well, gods be damned does Shelby mean it.

Apparently, Gem hasn't noticed the staring to they quickly focused on their hands and the drink in it before downing the rest of the glass and calling for another.

See, for a long time, Shelby's known about their feelings for women and how its nothing how Ren felt for women, or men. She's always struggled with feelings, and for a long time coming to terms with being asexual was a lot; dont get the poor guy wrong, hes hopelessly in love with Katherine and knows it, but goddamn does Gem look great.

-

He focused back in on the conversation when his 2nd, 3rd, fourth drink arrived and took a slow sip out of the glass. Just now, had Shelby realized, Katherine was there and glaring daggers from the end of the table. They made eye contact and Shelby knew she was in trouble, apparently so did Scott with how fast he moved to let Katherine take his place next to the short villain friend.

"How many have you had."

"Uh-"

"She's had four."

"You were keeping track?!"

"I have to drive Scott and Gem home, of course I have. Weve been here for two hours, Shelby."

"Two hours?!"

Shelby winced at Katherine basically yelling next to them. Yep, big trouble.

"Thats it, come on."

"Where are we going?"

"My house, so you can sober up and sleep."

"Im not drunk!"

"Do I look like I care?"

"Well- No, but-"

"No. Cmon."

Shelby stumbled out of the booth as Katherine dragged them and he waved bye to the trio who just waved back; Scott with a "knowing" smirk.

-

"Are you fucking stupid?!"

"What?"

"Going to a bar, alone, at two in morning?!"

"Like going to boatem wouldve been any better?"

"Not-.. Not what Im saying."

"I just needed to clear my head, Katherine."

"If you wouldve said something-"

"You wouldnt let me! You were so pissed off at me that you wouldnt let me speak!"

"So were both in the wrong!"

"What have I done?!"

"GO TO A BAR, ALONE."

"AND?"

"Gods be damned youre an idiot."

"I tried to talk to you! You wouldnt let me!"

"Then you shouldve told me to shut up!"

"And risk being punched in the face?! Look, Its happened once before and I dont take too kindly to having a busted lip!"

Katherine rolled her eyes and threw a hoodie, a yellow one, at them and stormed off. Shelby simply took this as a sign to go take a shower before Katherine sends her back outside.

------

They both go to sleep angry that morning:). Gem, and Scott, wake up with hangovers btw LMFAO

#zephs aus #empires smp #h&v au #nature wives #esmp s1 #c!gem #c!shelby #c!katherine #c!jimmy #c!scott #just to clarify its all characters #shelbys GAY #for her best friend #and for Kats best friend #nothing ever comes from Gem & Shelby though #Shelby doesnt know what aesthetic feelings & romantic feelings are #He just likes the aesthetic Gem has:)

[freedfromthegalactichivemind]

ooooh ask game :D

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

14. that one thing you see in fics all the time

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

23. ship you've unwillingly come around to

7. Character fandom had me begin to hate: Catra, for a while. In the early days of the fandom, particularly if you found yourself gravitating toward gremlins (Entrapta, in my case - Adora, Catra, Bow and Glimmer were the main characters first season), everyone going gaga over Catra felt like... "I'm over here, in my little corner." She felt overhyped, even surpassing Adora - the hero - in popularity. And then when season 2 hit, I was one of the earliest Entrapdak-people. Honestly, back then, I treated it as a lark, didn't think it would last, but even THEN some of the "You shouldn't be shipping this ship over the girl-ship / you shouldn't be liking this mean, horrible ugly male villain (even as a side-dish to the cool science gremlin)!" started. People who thought it was more righteous to enjoy Catra / "you must enjoy Catra at the expense of Hordak" bullshit started. When Season 3 happened and the Entrapdak pool-noodle became a dreadnought and people started getting interested in Hordak independently as more of his story was revealed, that's when the fecal matter hit the turbine in terms of the frankly weird Catra vs. Hordak war in the fandom. I really got tired of being called an "abuse apologist" and having it insinuated that I was pro-colonialism because I enjoyed a cartoon space alien dark lord and his Pinky and the Brain-esque realationship with my favorite mad scientist. All while people were holding up Catra as blameless, Catra as only a poor widdle victim. It got annoying to a lot of Hordak-fans and Entrapdak-fans. There was a backlash. I don't think I came to hate her as much as some on that side of the fandom did, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't have animosity for the character for a good, long time. I've learned to part myself from the negative experiences in fandom and actually analyze Catra from finding myself enjoying her whenever I re-watch the series. Sweary She-Ra has also gone a long way toward me considering her internal issues and psychological states, despite it being a fanwork / not canon. It is one of those surprisingly insightful fanworks. 14. That one thing I see in fanfics all the time: Characterization getting de-railed for what is obviously an author's personal vision or projection - ex. quick happy endings for fluff, woobiefication for MAXIMUM ANGST. Sometimes the authors even know about it (their notes). 22. Favorite ignored thing: Honestly, I ought to put this in one of my fics just so it stops getting neglected. Not enough people talk about how Entrapta's automated systems in her castle ran on The Clapper. I never had one, but I grew up with those annoying commercials. It amuses me greatly. 23. Ship I've unwillingly come around to: I'm not sure there's any. I am pretty chill with shipping in this fandom. (It's one of my other fandoms where my Bro-TP is almost everyone and their dog's OTP and I feel like tearing my hair out). Maybe Catradora. I always saw it as canon - it was just an obvious "they're leaning into this" from the beginning for me, but there was a point in canon where Catra had gone so far into choosing destruction that I wondered if Glimmadora might be endgame instead and if that would have been the better main ship. It took Catra making a start toward better choices (and being denied her deathwish) to make it start working for me. That, and I think reading something you said about Adora's choices and "fuck Shadow Weaver" that made me see it in a better light.

#spop #she-ra #choose violence ask game

[spinalembrace]

I furiously binge-watched the two seasons of Wayward Pines (2015–2016) yesterday (missing at least one episode and parts of some, since I couldn't access them at all/in their entirety). Since I was watching alone, I decided to rant out my contemplations down on paper, which I will recount here (spoilers of course):

Season 1

If the Ballingers were revolutionists, why did they rat out Beverly, causing her to get reckoned?

Why on EARTH would they think public executions are the answer in a pseudo-community living off of lies? (See e.g. Camus' Reflections on the Guillotine [1957] for a humanitarian discussion of public executions.)

If putting people back to cryo-sleep is an option, why not use that with the citizens as well? Adults are fertile too — why aren't they such a precious resource to the company/cult as well? And — as long as people are thought of as resources, even in that ideology, isn't it a huge waste to respond to misdemenours with DEATH?

How homophobic and heteronormative is a community so focused on reproduction? (They turned to this question briefly in season 2, answer of course being very. I was not satisfied with the extent this question was discussed — being, it nearly was discussed at all.)

How is the company/cult not eugenic and nepotistic inherently? (It is.)

Why does Theresa show so much resent for Katie, when Ethan is the one who has consciously betrayed Theresa? Misogyny? Internalized misogyny?

The people running the company/cult are adults — on what basis do they then think adults are incapable of habituating to the new situation? Aren't the other adults then just worries about their own monopoly over power? Children might be the future but they are also easier to control — hence the adults leading the children are the ones creating the picture of that future.

Hypnotherapy is bullshit.

2000 years in the face of evolution is merely a blink of an eye.

How white and ignorant do you have to be to think culture = a couple classical piano concertos, classicist home decor, and a few paintings from 1500–1900s?

All the aberrations look have male bodies? What does this tell of the perception of evolution? Or degeneration? (This question was brought up in season 2, really not giving satisfactory answers and continuing to view sex and gender in an overly dichotomized and binary way.)

Why would the aberrations be more adapted to the 41st century? What is the evolutionary biology behind that?

How very lame to do the "evil man listens to classical music in a secluded mansion while others are dying on the streets".

Why does Wayward Pines have so much guns and ammo, if there is only one sheriff and the reckonings are done by hand?

Season 2

The aberrations don't seem that complex or scary.

Why does this season as well have to rely on a white male archetype to lead on the story?

The minute they find a female aberration, they dress them up (sexualize/shame their naked body) and find it even more convenient to abuse them.

Where the fuck did that guy get a twizzler?

There are no artists in Wayward Pines? Yet another depiction of "essential roles in society", where the arts and humanities are left out.

What are the ethics of weaponizing viruses, sacrificing oneself tp kill over one third of another population? What is the use of the evacuation? Don't the aberrations deserve to reclaim their territory, especially since the human invaders can save themselves in another manner? Didn't they learn anything about the possibility for cooperation?

The repetitious clips of the aberrations just screeching at the cliff do not do justice to the complexity of the aberrations. They seem like blood-lusted "monsters" yet again.

This is where my notes end. After sleeping through the night and rethinking Wayward Pines, I find the two seasons very discontinuous. Season 2 beginning with a voice over of Benjamin really set the mood to think they would be the main character — after the season I don't even remember what they did or what happened to them after all? It also was disappointing to see that Theresa's character was not developed further and they became a side character, even though the viewer was engaged to their character from the beginning. Also I can't stand, nor see the value or meaning, of the monogamous heterosexual quarrels happening in both of the seasons.

Okay bye !

#wayward pines #wayward pines season 1 #wayward pines season 2 #look at me trying to be a television critic and all #nah #i was just bored and taking notes actually made the watching quite fun #spoiler alert #binge watching

[imthefailedartist]

Predator: Complete Series Review

One of the best creature feature creatures to ever feature. Every time that helmet comes off I want to vomit and cover my eyes. It's like a blown open vagina with eyes and teeth. It's truly terrifying and it makes me wonder if I can take it.

As these movies go on they suffer from "I'm the biggest and baddest thing to ever exist but you keep making sequels". Eventually, they need to make one of these where the Predator wins.

Question: From a skill hunting standpoint, does the Predator be cheating? I mean, it's going after animals with teeth and claws using technology. Same for it going against a person. It's got radar, heat vision, auto aiming/firing weapons, bombs, and it's strong as hell. Sure, humans have some of that, but never the person(s) it's hunting. Take that suit off player, and let's see wha-- Oh god, it snapped me in half with its bare hands.

Predator (1987) Fantastic. Really smart use of a small budget. Makes staring at trees entertaining. No bullshitting around gets right to the action. The way it shows the Predator stalking them, learning. So good. Features the world's strongest handshake. Bill Duke(s) with the machine gun. Arnold with the mud. The name Dutch. Great fucking time.

Predator 2 (1990) Very 80's in a bad and good way. I like the idea of hunting in the concrete jungle but also I hate it. I like that it's more investigative than outright hunting but these thrive in the forest. They don't use enough elements of a city for my tastes. Going after gangsters isn't the same as going against a trained hunter. They don't operate the same, so it's really just ends up being a skilled killer going after regular assholes with guns. Overall it's a good time.

AVP: Alien vs Predator (2004) deserves better than the dust y'all paid it. It was a fun ride. It's a cool way to bring two "ultimate killing machine" worlds together. They didnt need to tie the alien history together, no one cares. I also don't need the bred to hunt history lesson, but I dont mind it. We just want to see 'em fight. Sanaa Lathan kicked alien ass and lived to tell about it. My question is how did they decide which creature would win? Coin toss or the humanish one is more relatable?

Picture it AVP: Some R word, the predators are back on Earth because of a Xenomorph and the Predator finds Alexa because of her earth knowledge and together they hunt it down.

Aliens Vs. Predators: Requiem (2007) when do the Xenomorphs start versusing the Predators? Because 40 minutes in and its a lot of human bullshit and aliens, of both persuasion, doing stuff but not together. This could work if it knew how to use the aliens. Also, cut the damn lights on, can't see a goddamn thing. Also, why the hell was this called requiem?

50 minutes, and still no predator vs alien.

60 minutes, with no A-ing versus P-ing.

70 minutes, the title has nothing to do with the movie.

75 minutes, finally the A's are v-ing the P's, but for some reason the humans I give no fucks about are taking up the screen time. Should be called Aliens Exist: Can't See 'em Though.

Is this worse than The Predator? Yes and that's saying a lot. At least some action happens in TP.

Predators (2010) really enjoy the fish out of water alien planet element. Answers some questions without ruining the mystery. The twist with Topher Grace needed to be more laid out to have a better payoff. Would've liked to see more of how and why the Predators use this planet as a testing ground. What makes this planet special, the terrain, the atmosphere, the flora and fauna? Because its unpopulated? Without all of that they might as well be on earth. Would've been cool to see each person's hunting style more. Basically this is the I need more movie. It's fine to just watch but a little more wouldn't hurt. Laurence Fishburne needed more screen time.

The Predator (2018) Absolute shit. Paint by numbers studio picture. Why make a Predator 15' tall and then do nothing cool with it? This doesn't understand why people like these movies. A 15' Predator isn't interesting or scary for the same reasons as a slightly above the average human Predator. It requires no skill, no hunting prowess. This is one of those "we have better computer graphics, let's show off" movies. The 2010's loved a let's make a well known baddie a "goody" plot twist. It was shit then, its shit now.

Trevante Rhodes being here does give this like half a bonus point but he's not the lead so. . . Also, Sterling K. Brown.

The fire alarm goes off the teacher leaves the room before making sure ALL the students have evacuated.

All these years later I thought Boyd Holbrook was that tall blonde Swede, not that one, the other one.

Every female character is the worst version of third wave feminism. Science woman: I'm super smart but also super hot and I know some bad ass stuff and I have an idiotic and deadly need to figure out what's happening. Wife woman: I'm not a nag and were divorced because he wanted to soldier more than husband, but I still love him. I'll do something defiant to the bad guys to prove that I'm not in this movie to just be his damsel.

This movie tries so hard to be every sci-fi/adventure/war propaganda movie you've ever seen.

Who the fuck wanted answers about Predator genetics? No one!

Everybody has sleeves under their clear lab suit but of course shockingly hot nerd lady scientist has on a tank top.

Follow sterilization protocols: but have your mouth and your hair uncovered.

Why did Group 2 need to be like this? What do all of them being mentally different add to this movie? Other than 18 minutes of crass unfunny, uncomfortable jokes.

Why did they shoe horn in this kid. This is the laziest most obnoxious plotline. Was trying to get his gear back not good enough to stand alone?

Adding "dogs" was interesting and alien world expanding without doing too much. But did it need to look like a Predator? It's not like human hunters dogs look like their owners. That's a studio head idea.

I forgot they tried to set this up as a series. HAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAhahaahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahhahahahahhaha.

Prey (2022) fucking fantastic. Should've been in theaters. Amber Midthunder (and co.) did what needed to be done. I love that the Predator itself is less teched out than the ones "before" it.

I would not be mad if Prey set off a string of prequel sequels. Paleolithic. Medieval. Ice age. A battle Royale with winners of yore. I'd love to see the evolution of the Predators weaponry and hunting skills. Even a future sequel. Let's see the Predator battle a human with equal future tech.

#aliens vs predator #aliens vs predator requiem #avp alien vs predator #prey 2022 #predator 1987 #predator 2 1990 #arnold schwarzenegger #sterling k. brown #olivia munn #boyd holbrook #third wave feminism #sanaa lathan #amber midthunder #the predator 2018 #predators 2010 #creature feature #heat vision #sci fi movies #action movies #sfx #native american #alien monster #xenomorph #predator franchise #trophy hunting #the most dangerous game #big game hunting #man vs alien #mental ill health #neurodivergencies

[game-boy-pocket]

Why is Ganon so bad after wind waker

He wasn't really "bad" in Twilight Princess, at least in my opinion. He just wasn't as good as in Wind Waker. And Ganondorf was VERY good in Wind Waker, it's kind of hard to measure up to a version of Ganondorf that's older, suffered defeat, is slightly more human and speaks of his people and his homeland and why he even wanted the Triforce to begin with, driven slightly mad near the end when he comes so close to getting what he wants only to have it snatched away at the last minute on a technicality. But TP Ganondorf was still cool as hell any time he got screen time.

The main problem most people have with him is that they were just too excited for a new villain and felt like he came out of nowhere at the very end, even though the game clearly foreshadows him once you finish Arbiters Grounds. Him ending up as the final boss is not my problem with him.

My problem is just the way his introduction was handled at all.

When Twilight Princess came out, nobody seemed to know when it took place. Nobody suspected it was in the timeline in which young Link went back in time, warned the King of Hyrule about Ganondorf ( despite him not listening to his own daughter about it ) and prevented the events of Ocarina of Time from ever happening at all. Anybody who tells you they suspected this is bullshitting. This just was not a discussion at all until Nintendo confirmed the split timeline thing long after TP had already been out. People were still thinking the ocean in Wind Waker had somehow been drained and we were back to old Hyrule.

So here I was trying to figure out why Ganondorf got out of the stone at the bottom of the sea, and why he didn't say anything at all about Link, a boy dressed just like the Hero of Time and the Hero of Winds who defeated him before, he only ever directly spoke to Midna... I understand the events now thanks to supplemental material, which, I really don't like it when supplemental material is required to fully understand the details like that.... but I still feel like a Ganondorf who is less experienced could be handled better... also "lol the Gods just gave him the Triforce of Power for Funsies" is something I never fully understood. If Ganondorf never got to break into the Sacred Realm to touch the triforce to begin with, then why was it split up among the three triforce holders? It makes no sense to me.

Anyway, I don't mind him in Twilight Princess, I just wish it was easier to understand and he didn't just suddenly get god like powers because the Gods were just feeling a little silly that day. I also wish he could have spoken a little bit more on his experience in the Twilight Realm and maybe made his connections with Zant a little more clear ( wtf was up with that neck crack thing at the end of the game? )

No, my main problem is with everything that came after. They treat him less like a man who has a lust for power and is driven by having suffered a shitty life in the desert while being jealous of the thriving Hyrulians and their lush greenery... and more like a monster who's just evil for funzies and only wants to kill and destroy. All of this feels like a result of that unceremonious backstory they tacked on with Skyward Sword... "Lulz, he's the reincarnation of an evil god so he's always going to be a powerful warlord who hates Hyrule no matter what his circumstances are"

I'll grant you this. We have only had exactly one Ganondorf appearance in a mainline Zelda game since TP. He was a half baked monster that didn't speak and only wanted to destroy shit. I was very worried that this is just the new direction for his character in a post-skyward-sword-retconned world. Destructive demon man who only does what he does because destiny said so or something.

Tears of the Kingdom could change things, now that it's possible that Calamity Ganon is not really the same being as Ganondorf. But again, his dialogue being all "kill em all, burn it all down, no survivors!" does not fill me with confidence that he's going to be interesting in this game.

[interlvgos]

I want to join in on the fic convo real quick, because my brain is all muddy at this time of night but at the same time that is when it is at its most excitable and without really being able to add anything to the discussion I still want to comment on the prospect of George having a classic "Oh" moment when he notices that Lewis has literally always protected him even when he might not have been 100 % deserving of it, even when he gave him headaches by being difficult, even when he put him as a TP in a complicated position, because I love that so much. It's s such a good, satisfying thing, it scratches an itch, has me softly weeping and cuddling my blanket and eating that shit up. Yep, George would watch DTS, wouldn't he. Or he would, ready to hurt himself, google himself, in spite of everyone trying to keep him away from the socials, only to find Lewis being quoted. Or he would get little press conference clips sent to himself by Alex or someone that show Lewis verbally murdering Horner on George's behalf...... I am holding that concept close to my chest, cradling it, running away into the sunset with it.....

tp lewis au discussion under the cut! <3

absolutely! and the thing is, in a lot of ways, george isn't necessarily deserving of lewis' defence: as i mentioned last night, he makes a lot of questionable decisions that compromise lewis' postion and also - at times - underminds him. and lewis' cool mask of indifference george gets in return only solidifies george's opinion that, actually, lewis just doesn't care about him anymore beyond the professional sphere of what success george can bring to mercedes.

he pretends not to notice how much his chest fucking aches when he thinks about that too long. 

but lewis will always protect him, again: there's no version of lewis in this au that wouldn't protect george from everything. he was his, for a long time, and lewis was george's in return - they orbited around one another and their lives intwined to such a degree that when they were together, if one of them hurt, they both did.

now, it isn't the same dynamic, but now lewis is just fucking angry when he hears the shit said about george because yeah, maybe he doesn't deserve it, but he's afraid of the void in george's eyes and he doesn't understand why his - their - starboy has fallen so far, crashed back down to earth in a haze of stupid decisions and snappy remarks, why he's all fake smiles and attitude and pushing back as much as he's pushing everyone away.

so god, lewis isn't a violent person, but if he has to watch horner berate george's 'unsafe' and 'unsportsmanlike' conduct one more time he's going to hit the fucking roof. 

and if the one of the first time george's carefully constructed facade slips is when alex motions for him to look towards the media pen where lewis stands, brilliant and beautiful and dangerous in his anger as he shuts down bullshit claims from horner regarding george yet again, well. george will ignore the way his heart pounds with it, jackrabbiting out of his chest, like it's bodily trying to move him closer, closer, back into lewis' orbit. 

#* anon. #* tp lewis au. #ty ty ty for the ask! <3 it makes me SO happy to see people are excited about this au fr #I hope this makes sense and sorry for going on a tangent !!

[cosmicerroraftermath]

“Okay for once, I didn’t do it.

My top Patroller is actually a permanent Gogeta, good friend of mine hes branched from the Xenoverse timeline so He’s a fluff ball, SuperSaiyan 4 yea? We’re talking and he’s always like....The Kakarot in XenoGoge is wished up, doesn’t have the happy-go-lucky personality or what not that the one from the GTverse has, and he’s a hard head and doesn’t accept bullshit from anyone, not even me, and I pay the guy.

Anyway we’re walking, talking, and hes telling me about his last mission and you know we’re having a good time and stuff, then one of the other top patrollers, a rank below Goge, and this guy he’s little compared to us his ranking is shocking to most people because I’m six foot two and he comes up to my thighs, he comes up to us demanding Gogeta hand over one of his missions to him right infront of me as if I’m not the one that decides who does what but there he is going after the least patient person in the TP of my Storyverse with no fear and a life to lose.

So I sit and I just observe what is usually the most intolerant, angry, twitchy, punch happy man just sit there and deal with this short mf barking at him like a chihuahua at a god damn mastiff (Earth Dogs, first is really damn tiny the other is MASSIVE) and Goge is just sitting there and taking it, and I’m almost on the floor until finally the little barker stops, and Goge looks at him and just asks ‘You Done?’ and the guy responds ‘Yea. I am. So what’s it gonna be?’.

I watch this massive fluffy bastard haul back his hand and BITCH SLAP that little shit across Conton like he was a tennis ball and his hand was the god damn racket I lost my SHIT. I was off my feet and on the pavement cracking the hell up watching this pebble sized tweeter go FLYING past the Apartment complex and landing into the school roof like a BULLET you have NO idea how amazing that was and the best damn part was that after the dust all the way over at the school settled I just hear a deep, stern ‘No.’ from Gogeta and I was almost crying I was laughing so hard.

He wasn’t too pleased that I was laughing so hard (or so loud) so I ended up getting scolded for ‘Being a poor example’ and ‘Just letting it happen’, but in the end we just continued our day, and he actually paid for my smoothie when we got lunch.

Join the TP guys we have Flying Fuckers for entertainment.”

#{Too Much Time:VegitoShenanigans} #{You Gotta Be Kidding:Crack} #{Talking Too Much:RandomStories}

[lildoodlecat]

IRENE'S FIGHT IN THE DIRECTOR'S CUT IS SUCH BULLSHIT WTFFF

took me fuckin. 7 tries with three different party combinations and strategies then finally gave in and used an all-divide once I got her down to ~1/4 or 1/8 health bc that's where her attacks get way faster, way deadlier, and she summons like 10 drones at once that constantly hurt you, interrupt you, and inflict sleep (҂` ﾛ ´)

Wanted to be cool and not default back to the all-divide strategy but fucking hell ;w;

Tbf idk if my party combo of Stahn Chelsea Woodrow Rutee was really the best one in the end but I NEEDED ranged fighters for the drones that wouldn't have their casting constantly interrupted (Philia) and even a healer who doesn't seem to always do her job even when she's set to Heal in the strategy menu was better than fully relying on items (obviously i still used a bunch of gels and tragically like 2 of my 7 elixirs </3)

I miss original Destiny sjxk I had my strategy PERFECTED to the point that I had to pause deliberately on the final boss bc I wanted to see literally any of his moves before I beat the shit out of him. Tho that strategy included manually having Philia spam magic which doesn't really work with a chain capacity battle system like the director's cut has ;0;

I appreciate that I can perform basically infinite artes per battle but bc of the cc system I can't guarantee that I'll be able to have my other party characters cast cc expensive magic,, this is why I prefer tales games with TP sjxkdk

In any case!!!! After this cutscene with Irene we can hurry up and fix Igtenos and then start slashing our way to Dycroft >:D I'm in the end-stretch now!!! (Or at least close to it! Ik there's some funky stuff that happens but I don't remember it extending the game that much longer than I think it is)

#can't wait :)) to fight Leon again :))))) #jay plays tales #tales of destiny director's cut #jay yells

[renaissanceman5073]

How to lose your job.

Five Ways to Lose Your Job

Some jobs are meant to be lost, let's just be honest. If you're sitting behind your cubicle this morning drafting "TPS reports" or whatever, while some belt and suspenders jerk is stealing your stapler, perhaps getting fired is the least of your problems. Let's also be honest about this: If you hate your job, you will not do it well, nor will you do it with the right attitude. Then, before you know it, you will have put yourself on a new career track - that of a fired person.

I always tell every client, friend or family member that you should keep your head down and do your work until you find something else. Getting fired does nothing to help your career and, trust me on this, you will receive a big fat "F" stamped on your forehead that will hinder your ability to get a better job in the future.

That said, it never ceases to amaze me how many employees simply cannot help themselves. They are angry at their lives, spouses, bosses, God or whatever else. They see the workplace as the perfect opportunity to release their frustrations, predictably leading to the end of their employment. Then there are the normal folks who get fired for seemingly no reason. One day you're doing an adequate job, the next day your meeting with HR to discuss your "exit interview."

So, I thought I would share with you the top five ways that, in my experience, people get fired.

1.  Attendance Half of life is just showing up, said Woody Allen. "Attendance" means showing up and showing up on time. If you can't get to your job on time, how can you be trusted with anything more significant? If you inconvenience your boss or make co-workers cover for you because you needed a little extra time to nurse that hangover, you're just setting yourself up for failure. Be there and be on time. Punctual people are taken seriously.

2.  Creating Office Drama Every workplace has its resident drama queen or king. This employee can't help but to tell you what Joe did or did not do last week with his TPS reports. He or she hangs out by the water cooler eagerly waiting to tell you about the crush Larry has on Betty or how Johnny got hammered after work on Friday and went home with Susan.

Guess what, no one cares. Most people go to work with the sole purpose of simply surviving the day, getting home and having a good weekend. This includes your boss. If you are the employee who wastes everyone else's time with minutiae, then you will be viewed as a drag and, eventually, they will get rid of you.

3.  Showing up your Boss If you're the guy that can't wait to show your boss's boss how stupid your boss is, you won't be around for very long. I am always amazed when I hear about some young go-getter getting himself in trouble at work because he went over his boss's head. His excuse is always the same: "Well, I am just trying to get the right result." Well that's bullshit and everyone knows it. You're trying to get your boss's job and don't think for a second that your boss's boss doesn't also know that. Once you have a reputation as a back-biter, you're finished.

Instead, focus on making your boss look good and look for opportunities to be seen working closely with him or her in front of management. You'll get the credit eventually but, more importantly, your superiors will know that they can trust you to help them look good. That's the employee people keep around.

4.  Bringing Home to Work We've all heard the expression "bringing his work home." Typically the stereotypical power player can't leave work at the office. He has to bring it home and bother his family with it. Well, the opposite can also be true and be just as detrimental to your career. Leave your non-work problems at home. When you're at work, you need to be focused exclusively on work. If you burden your boss or co-workers with your divorce, then they will lose faith in your ability to perform at a high level and eventually look elsewhere for someone less distracted.

5.  Breaking the Mold Too Often A good friend of mine once wrote that no one wants to see you succeed too greatly or fail too badly. The theory, he says, is that people are comfortable with a certain level of conformity and sticking your head up too often will get you in trouble. I think he's right. It's great to think outside the box. It's great to break the mold and be unconventional, especially if you own your own business. But, if you are always swimming in the opposite direction of the other fish, they will eventually consume  you. Don't be the guy or gal in the meeting that always tells nine other people that the consensus is stupid. There is a time and place for that, but choose it wisely. You really can only shoot that arrow once.

#renaissanceman5073 #traditional values #hard work #jobseekers

[shamelesshussythoughts]

Daaaammmn

Ex that I had a nasty breakup with and who I had absolutely adored updated his Facebook profile picture. He seems to be getting back into shape and his wife has disappeared from his page. Hmmmmmmm. He was sexy as fuck back in the day so I'm cheering him on secretly.

Maybe you know, maybe you don't, but things could be better at my place. I still haven't scheduled anything but I need to. I guess it's the right thing to do. Uhck. Anyway, I'm back to my old "what if" fantasies again and all that crap. I'm not going to be too troubled by it now though, I need something and I'm not getting it at home. I get nothing but excuses actually. Car accident dislocated his hip, then hernia surgery, then he was worried about his surgery scars, now it's bruised ribs (that have been that way for some time now and I'm not sure how it even happened). On top of the lingering mistrust and suspicion that he is chatting with other women when I'm not around and his other sketchy behavior. I'm not sure exactly if it's still going on, but I have this feeling it is. I don't think there's any sexual attraction between us anymore. Part of that is the fact that I have continuously worked on myself physically and emotionally, and he's let go of both of those things. Lots of excuses there too.

He says he'd like to this weekend, I just said yeah right. I'm tired of being hopeful about it. He says he wants to, then he drinks too much and/or finds an excuse and I'm turned off off at that point. I'll end up replacing my batteries before I get laid again.

And before anyone thinks it, no I'm not planning to cheat on DM with my ex, doesn't mean I can't think about it though.

I just wonder if maybe I should try what TP is trying. Sounds very messy to me, but faaaahhhhhccckkkk I am tired of being lied to and getting fed bullshit by someone who takes me for granted. I know damn well I'm in the best shape of my life and I could easily get some if I wanted to, it would just be much more convenient and less messy if I could get it at home and I'm too old for all that.

#what if #angsty #frustrated

[emmythespacecowgirl]

I linked you my long-ass ship request for BoB & TP privately, lovely! Thank you so much in advance btws, you're doing the Lord's work out here!! 🤌🏼💖

I gotchu Aly 😎👉👉

I ship you with:

Lewis Nixon from Band of Brothers!

Y’all are the most charming couple✨

You captivate every room with your razor sharp wit and big brains

Not to mention, y’all are both 🔥🥵

You meet during a covert operation

You’re a spy for the Allies and your ability to sneak behind enemy lines is essential for Nix’s intelligence ops

So you meet through work

As a thank you for all that you’ve done to help Easy, Nix invited you out for a drink after work

You both get pretty tipsy but enjoy each others company a lot

One thing leads to another and..

You find yourself in Lew’s bed the next morning

Even after you’ve left, Nix can’t stop thinking about you

He’s never met a woman as tenacious and ferocious as you

All the Nixon women were taught to speak softly and defer to their husbands

But with you…

He can talk politics

And books

And music

And you know exactly what he’s talking about

and have an opinion on everything

You’re not even afraid to disagree with him and call him out on his own bullshit

And Nix finds that totally alluring

He needs you more than he needs his endless supply of Vat-69

He also loves your bombshell figure

Anytime he gets to show you off

Whether to his family back home

Or to Dick

He definitely will ;)

You’re both super opinionated and snarky

He loves just letting you go off on some haughty obnoxious jerk at a party

Your influence on his life is beyond words

Through your own coffee addiction, Nix starts substituting his usual glass of wine at night with a strong cup of decaf

But that’s not to stay that you both aren’t night owls!

He loves staying up late with you

Listening to music, watching movies, reading together

He especially loves coming home at 2am from a party with you ;)

Nix has a way with words

and has read every classic at least twice

So he knows all the sweet sayings to win you over

But like you, he also has a high sex drive and physical touch is a close second for him

He likes to bring you gifts that he’s picked up during the day

“Oh that? Oh I just saw it in the shop window and it made me think of you. So I guess it’s yours now!”

If he sees an outfit that he thinks you’d look stunning in, he’ll most def buy it for you

All you have to do is ask and he’ll give you as much money as you want for self care treatments

You tell him about your dreams of owning a big house and having lots of kids

Tbh at first he’s a little skeptical

He’s done the whole marriage thing before

Even had a kid

He’s just afraid to screw it up with you and hurt you

But,given time, and the fact that he can’t live without you..

I’d imagine that he would love the chance for that “happily ever after” with you❤️

#<3 #ships #bob ships #the pacific ships #my work #lewis nixon

[nessalibritannia]

Writing another Post about my gf. Just have basically no one to talk about it. Sad i know. But i dont know how tp handle it differnetly. I dont want people to think bad of her that are also her friends we barely have not shared friends if not no one. I had such a blast of s day no matter the circumstances i Was so happy bc i had my first day at my internship and i choose q good place and my teacher is so nice the other students are kinda not but that was not too bad at least one can take me there by car.. i had to get up pretty early though and have kinda been exhausted after work and also felt like just napping and taking pain medication. My gf and me wanted to order food bc i felt too exhausted to cook but she offered to still make smth bc of my pain and me being maybe not able to eat too much of the take out. I said okay maybe we can have date night this weekend instead order food watch a movie and play some games. But instead of her reacting happy about the offer she just slapped it down with "you dont have time anyways" pretending i am always gone bc if the internship and university i am a lot busy and i know that also had some times where i had to cancel our plans bc some appointment was appearing suddenly after we agreed already on a date etc. But yeah i still take time for her and she should be happy that i do especially when i am that busy. I thought it was really offensive that she just pretended to know better about my plans myself and that i would cancel all the plans even the ones i suggested. Which is bullshit. I feel really hurt that she thinks that the dates mean nothing to me. I just thinkg that i can not change some things and have to cancel then. Not that its my plan to do so. But i have to. And i expected a bit of... care too? I am really busy but it is also stressful for me. And it will be over at some point too but i think its really upsetting that she Ruins my day and does not even see she did wrong even though i told her that i have unkversity but will be back in the afternoon and it would easily be enough for date night and even though she said yes she did not know about that. She does not see herself at fault or apologize for it. What should i do.... ? (We by the way did not order dinner which also left me snackless bc of my pain i will not cook so i just went to bed bc i have to get up early again tomorrow and sleep without dinner)

#am i the asshole #reddit aita #relationship struggles #relationshipproblems

[tmrrwppl]

I am 6 episodes into Nikita and have found a really wild ass verse idea of the TP casually invading the recruit program after assessing Division as their next biggest threat (and mostly cause Jed is sus of them when he wants the DOD money, as a side piece to the plot)

Just absolute chaos ensues and here’s the multiple scenes I have written in my head about it just today.

[intro: Clari being framed by Scott McKinley for murder just works out in their favor. Russ tips another Casino and One-Man-Ocean’s-Elevens his way out, both get caught and taken into Division]

Michael: Officially you were already dead before we found you, rather interesting how long it took us. You have pretty much no paper trail after 2007. But NYPD think you unalived yourself in your cell. Murder 1 on an drug kingpin? Impressive. Clari: That's literally impossible but okay. Scotty really did pick the wrong one I guess.

Percy: She's a candidate in our program and a good one. She has no existing life or information. Jed: Yes, because I deleted her from all the systems, including whatever basic one you use. Percy: ... Jed: *building up her as the decoy, so they can focus on her and not the other mole, Russell* Trust me, she's really a god damn menace, you're better off turning her back over to my custody before she really gets bored and rips down this whole organization with her pinky finger and re-writes it. You beat me to her by 4 minutes, and that is quite annoying.

quick camera cut to the other room of Clari just beating up a couple of trainees

Percy: Well, consider her borrowed then, if she wants to stay. Jed: Alright, well don't say I didn't warn you. Just know, if she's harmed, there will be a comeuppance and not even your backers can stop me.  Clari: *smirks and waves to Jed through the window* Hi Dad! *flips another trainee onto his back* Jed: *chuckles* Like I said, god damn menace.  Percy: *already plotting* Her file lists parents in Florida Jed: Also wrong, only her mother. I’m her father. Spring Break, Jersey Shore, 1989. *collects his briefcase and strolls out, calls back* I'd mind her, she'll use anything not nailed down. *grins and leaves, calling John for a favor* Birkhoff: Uh... Detective Scott McKinley was just found garroted and hanging from a lamp post above NY/PD with a note that says 'You picked the wrong one.' Percy: ... Michael: ... Birkhoff: He’s the detective who arrested Clarissa-- Michael: Yep. Percy: Check the tapes. Birkhoff: Already did, she was asleep the whole night. Clari: *fucking up in the hacking class and Russell wondering if she's faking being that awful at it, Birkhoff swearing* Michael: You'll get the hang of it. Clari: *glances up at him as the computer does another blue screen of death* Computer says no. And probably to go fuck myself. Amanda: *tries to get into Clari’s head* Clari: *is already in Amanda’s head, playing along, playing to her sympathies* Then we actually find out why the computers... implode--- TIM: *pops into Clarissa’s computer and makes fun of her efforts* Clari: *punches in “SHUT THE FUCK UP TIMOTHY”, triggers another bluescreen, slams head on table* Birkhoff: You’re pretty, but jesus christ you have taken out THREE SYSTEMS in 3 weeks! Michael: *teams up with Nikita finally* John: *teleports in behind him, gun to his back* Well howdy friend, how’s Clari and Russ doing? Michael: ... what. the. hell. Nikita: Oh, my bad, Michael, John, John, Michael. And there’s Jed. You’ve met. Jed: Put the gun down John, you’re making him nervous. Cas: *snorts* Clari, talk to me sis. *listens, no headset in sight* Really? Fine. Michael she says her and Russ want gummi bears.-- *listens again, one sided conversation* Yeah, John just put a gun to his back and pulled your “Well howdy” bullshit. *pause* You do understand the messenger does get shot a lot, right??? *sighs* Fine-- John, Clari says you’re a fucking idiot, stop stealing her lines, and stop pointing the gun at the only cute one there. *winces* aside from the yelling, incoming. Michael: ... Jed: You’ll want a drink for this one, son, trust me. *pours him a whiskey* Clari and Russ: *teleport in right in front of him* Hey boss! Michael: *nearly chokes* But you never leave your beds. TIM: Oh, my apologies. I loop them sleeping over the feed. Seamless transitions. Except when Russell flings himself sideways on the bed. Russ: Listen, Timmy, I appreciate you not dunking on me like you have with Clari, but you leave me be. Clari: *glares at the computer* I swear to God, Timothy. Do it again and I’m taking your exhaust on a trip to the Hudson. John: Will you two EVER stop talking to TIM like he’s human? Clari and Russ: Never. Michael: *wonders what the actual F Nikita has gotten him into*

#me: I need to write verses #also me: *thinks up MORE verses* #also also me: vicious cycle #I MEANT TO WATCH THIS FOR MY TORI MUSE AND HERE I AM IN THE TRASH CAN AGAIN