#(she was that same fuckin bitch who was like «I have the highest grade in the class so that means I'm the smartest person here»)

[moviediary]

She’s All That (1999)

Rich and popular makes a bet with his “friend”, whose personality is pretty much summed up by the fact that he has frosted tips, that he can turn any girl into the prom queen after getting dumped by his longtime girlfriend. 

Now don’t get me wrong, I love this movie, but every time I watch it I can’t help but be amazed at how absurd it is. I mean, cliché plot aside, every individual piece that makes up this 1 hour and 30 minute ode to the individual is completely insane. What universe does this take place in? What high school do they go to?

That being said, I really like the opening shots to this movie, it definitely gives you a good introduction to the main character. Laney Boggs. She’s political and messy and 100% down to her bones an art student. She isn’t afraid to be dark.

In contrast I feel like the first meeting of the main love interest really doesn’t set him up to be who the writers want you to think he is. I mean he rolls up to school in a bright yellow Jeep with a Mr. Prez vanity plate. Then you see his shoes when he gets out of the car, fuckin’ ugly ass leather loafers. I’m sorry I know this means nothing I just have a hard time believing this jock wears these fucking shoes they’re so god damn ugly.

Every moment that introduces him makes it seem like he should be the villain, he has pretty much no redeeming qualities that we can see besides his wit (barely) and good looks. I just don’t understand why we’re supposed to like him, this is Sixteen Candles all over again. Hot rich guy, is an asshole, for some reason I still root for and love him. How does that work? What makes these characters so grossly likable? I mean, his name is Zack. That alone raises a red flag for me. That’s a frat boy asshole name. Zacks are friends of Kyle that’s all I’m saying.

Once we get through his painfully douchey introduction we get introduced to Zack’s equally douchey friends frosted tips and Gus from psych. (don’t ask me what their actual names are it’s not important anyway, that is essentially their personalities) The first thing we hear is them talking about summer break and their vacations, further driving home how rich they are and how weird it is that adults write movies about teenagers having gratuitous amounts of sex with adults. Then Zach tries unsuccessfully to say something philosophical about them graduating soon (I have to keep reminding myself that he’s supposed to have like the 4th highest GPA in their class) They then meet the most 90s girls I have ever seen. Who I guess are supposed to be popular? One thing I do like is how diverse all the characters are, they don’t all look exactly the same which I feel tends to be a problem with high school movies.

So we finally meet the “popular girl” Taylor Vaughn, Zack’s girlfriend and she immediately breaks up with him (which honestly is probably a good idea anyway) and his “friends” fucking laugh at him which he really had coming. I mean. Look at his hair. 

This launches what is probably one of my favorite narrated flashback scenes of all time, not because the topic is particularly interesting but because I love the way they have Zach interrupt her inside of the flashback. It’s a very small addition that really gives the scene style. Also we see this hot girl start dating Shaggy??? Also one of the villains from the original Scream???( he only really plays one character.) Makes me laugh every time. Also makes me a little uncomfortable every time since she’s in high school and he’s who knows how old but whatever not important. This also leads to one of my favorite exchanges in the whole movie. 

Taylor wraps up her spring break story time with one of the rawest lines I've ever seen in a 90s movie (she really did that to him) and the director throws in a classic high school movie trope, everyone actually caring enough to stop and watch this exchange. And while I usually hate this kind of character worship, since this movie is already so bizarre and unrealistic it actually kinda fits

We then cut to Laney’s art class which includes her teacher that for some reason thinks her art isn’t personal enough and two clown obsessed Lydia Deetz knock offs. I have to say I do love this part where the art students literally suggest that she kill herself in order to have her art recognized. Very realistic conversation between art students. 

That whole scene is really funny though because it doesn’t feel like it belongs in this movie. Even the music doesn't fit which is only emphasized by the sudden bell ringing transition back into a stereotypical high school movie. It reminds me of movies like the craft, the way it’s cut together, the way the characters talk, how Laney just stares straight ahead after not saying anything. It seems like she could have chosen a completely different movie to be in. Like if the movie was a chose your own adventure, she could have been in a different genre entirely and the movie would have been about her and those girls faking her death to get recognition and make money from her paintings. which would have been sick. but that isn't the movie I’m watching. Which I’m reminded of when fucking Zack comes back on screen.

Also right before the scene where the actual bet is introduced we meet the school’s resident DJ??? which isn’t important at all but is so strange that I feel the need to point it out. Like they don’t just have a guy who does the announcements they have like a disc jockey who is just there all the time??? There are just so many little things in this movie that make it so weird.

So fucking Brock pukashells pulls up and Zach just flips. Which is understandable it is a very gross moment but he just fucking goes off about Taylor and how she’s not that great and he could get with any girl in the school. His friends point out that bitch boy forgot that Taylor Vaughn is “an institution” and basically Zach with tits. She’s very important. This is something I never get about movies like this, has anyone actually been to a high school where someone was that well known. But also not liked? Like sure she’s hot, but she’s also a grade A bitch to everyone. and according to Zach nothing more than a C minus GPA in a Wonderbra. 

Once you get through the misogyny plus ultra scene and they finally make the bet, frosted tips has picked the girl Zach has to turn into the prom queen. Scary inaccessible Laney Boggs. He’s got 6 weeks to make her popular. He starts off his first exchange with her in the best way possible. By calling her brother Spaz (as his name). Again, we’re supposed to like this guy I think. I don’t know when he’s supposed to become a likable character but I can’t imagine it’s during all these scenes where he just legit insults people.

I also love all of the clips we get to see from Brock’s time on The Real World Which make me really question why all the girls fan girl over him given that he’s actually the worst, even on the show. We also get introduced to Zack’s sister who probably should have been a lesbian given how queer coded her character is besides the fact that she desperately wants a boyfriend. She even goes to an all girls school it would have been perfect. But alas, this movie is gay-less.

We are then introduced to another b-plot in this movie, Zack’s indecision about college. This was I guess to make him more human? or something? To sort of flesh him out and give him problems but honestly he doesn't have any problems. Later in the movie Laney points this out to him, he can do whatever he wants. This whole college thing is resolved fairly quickly later in the film too, it’s not very important it’s just the only thing we see about Zack besides being a perfect high schooler throughout the whole movie. Well that and his terrible performance art and being an asshole. 

After we see that Zack has been accepted by every Ivy League school and their mother (I’m not jealous I swear) we take a brief Taylor being a bitch detour before getting back to Zack making an ass of himself. This time he’s bothering Laney at her job which is awesome we love that. Again I don’t know why we like this guy he does like 3 nice things the whole movie. Anyway she gets defensive like she always does and he fumbles around trying to talk like he’s a normal person and not a walking cliché and then there’s this really strange exchange where he tries to asked her for help in art classes and she says “you don’t take art” and he’s like “how do you know?” and she’s like “Why haven't I seen you in any of my classes?” and like, I get what they were going for but what kind of high school is this? how does she have time to take more than one art class? How is she already an art major before she’s in college that’s not how high school works. I only ever had one school where I could take more than two extra curriculars and that was in middle school and it was only because they fucked up and put me in four hours of study hall and so I just went to all of the art classes that were offered. But that’s different. And am I way over analyzing this movie? yes. Does anyone but me care about this shit? probably not, but I’m gonna talk about it anyway.

I also really like Laney’s best friend who’s kind of just there, all the time, he’s such a good wing man. He also made the best excuse to get out of seeing that weird ass art show she’s in. He’s like, oh good I don’t have to see another Mitch show. He’s probably in his underwear in all of them, I wouldn’t want to go either. I think it really says something about the performance art world though, because this is probably the most believable part of the whole movie. If someone told me that his is just an actual performance art piece that they used in this movie I would absolutely believe them. Also one of the weird gremlins in this piece says what is probably my favorite quote ever which is “my soul is an island, my car is a Ford” like what the fuck is that I love that so much.

I really want to know how they came up with this shit, it’s so perfect. It also is another one of these parts in the movie that doesn’t really add anything. A lot of the movie is like this, I feel like 90% of this movie is weird filler scenes and the rest in plot. Like it’s so obvious how it’s going to end that you barely even need to watch most of the movie, and even when you do watch most of the movie it always kind of feels like it only half has something to do with the plot. I’m not even going to talk about the weird hacky Sack scene, I can’t handle how embarrassing and cringey it is I pretty much always skip through it. What a dick move of Laney’s to even put him in that situation. The whole “your eyes are really beautiful” scene is also really strange, both his lines and her reaction don’t really make sense. Through most of this movie when they actually talk to each other I feel like they don’t have any chemistry. It’s the same when he subtly blackmails her into going to the beach with him. He’s awkward and barely says anything that prompts a response and then she just goes full WOKE EMO on him and like, they really do have nothing in common I do not understand their relationship. And then his friends show up and he’s like, “If we’re gonna be friends we’ll have to deal with them eventually” which like, 1: wow get some friends you actually like maybe? And 2: how are you guys friends, you’ve barely ever managed to exchange civil words on screen. Actually maybe that makes sense, this is why he thinks this is okay (besides the whole bet thing) maybe he doesn’t realize he’s supposed to actually like his friends and girlfriend. Because it really seems like he doesn’t like any of them, which I get. Except for Gus (not his name but whatever) because that guy’s actually pretty funny and spends the whole movie calling frosted tips out whenever he sounds too much like Kenny from Can’t Hardly Wait.

The whole beach scene is kinda take it or leave it too, there are a lot of moments where we see Laney hang out with Zack and other people but honestly through the whole movie there really isn’t a whole lot of growth. We don’t actually really see them bond or talk, we’re supposed to believe their relationship is growing but I guess that must be happening off screen because I don’t see it.

One of my favorite parts is when Zack forces the JV soccer team to clean Laney’s house, the kid answering the jeopardy question and her dad just realizing they were there. Oh man, gets me every time. The makeover scene is also pretty cute, I always love those. Also the whole “new, not improved, but different Laney Boggs” thing is adorable and I appreciate it.

The evolving of the characters and their relationships don’t happen gradually, what little is actually shown is pretty much in like 3 parts, the opening, the party scene, and the end. The characters are very flat for most of the movie and they have very little personality, but the party scene is very fun to watch. From “Gracias, papi!” to Laney turning Misty into a clown, and then the Give it to Me dance sequence. And even though the characters haven’t really given me a good reason to care about them my heart still hurts a little for Laney when Taylor ruins her dress. That’s the thing about this movie, I shouldn’t care, I shouldn’t like these characters, but I still do, and I have no idea why.

The Brock dumping Taylor thing was great, the parallel was expected but I actually think it added to the story. In fact most of the things after the party actually feel necessary to the movie which is nice. Even the soccer practice actually leads to something. I don’t know what it is about the 2nd quarter of this movie that feels so empty but whatever it is it’s enough that I saw a noticeable difference when I got to the third act of this movie.

It’s a small part but I also really love the alternative clubs that make signs in favor of Laney for prom queen. They’re just so fucking funny to me. I mean, Hygiene club? Prisoners club??? What?

Then they pull another fast feelings thing on me again. They throw the mom painting scene at me and like, wow that’s sad. Then Zack tries to garner sympathy for the problems that he makes for himself. Then boom they flip on me again they’re cute and I like them. Then she says that weird thing about prom and he just dips man. And like, Why do they gotta do me like that? I cannot seem to decide if I like these characters or not it’s so weird how this dialogue is written.

And then the dream happens? Definitely one of the best scenes in the whole movie. So fucking perfect. It really just adds to the weird slight surrealness of this whole movie.

Then we go back to the school and suddenly everyone is dressing like Laney? In support I guess? Again can I just ask what fucking school they go to? And then there’s the beat boxing scene? Where they rap about who’s gonna be prom queen? I’ve never even met anybody that invested in the outcome of who’s gonna be prom queen except for those running. I don’t even think I know anybody who voted. Even so, I do love the beat box scene, they really spit some bars.

Also I just noticed that in that super fucked cafeteria scene, you can see Buffy make a cameo? Just a fun little trivia fact. But seriously that cafeteria scene is fucked. Like, the pubes on the pizza? I wish no one had thought of that ever. Also can I just say I would undoubtedly rather get my ass kicked than be forced to eat pubes. I don’t know what they were thinking that isn’t even a question.

It’s also really uncomfortable how good frosted tips is at acting like he’s not a douchebag. What a creep. If that were a real guy I’d be tempted to call him a sociopath. So gross. But I suppose it’s good for the story line.

The end of the movie wraps up pretty fast honestly. Zack’s dad and him finally communicate which fixes Zack’s only problem immediately because that’s just how easy it is. He was just projecting the whole time, his dad had literally no problems other than being a typical rich dad. Then of course we get another moment with the school DJ who I guess just gets to play and say what ever he wants whenever he wants. Am I the only one who thinks it’s really inappropriate how sexual that guy’s announcements about prom are? Maybe it’s just me and I had a really different high school experience but I feel like people are way too focused on sex when they make movies about high school. Other shit was going on you know? It’s just odd for me to think about grown adults writing and pitching this movie.

Zack really is such a bitch boy though, he doesn’t even try to explain anything to her, just lets her get hurt and lets Taylor be a bitch to her without saying anything. He doesn’t even try to tell her that frosted tips was just as much a part of it as he was. Honestly I kind of wish that frosted tips wasn’t such an asshole his whole heart to heart with her at the door before prom could have been really cute if I didn’t already know he was a lying scumbag. But I guess Laney just gets the lesser of the douchebags.

We finally get to the prom, inarguably the best part of the whole movie, all the little bits and pieces. The sex doll guy is always funny as hell. The DJ being the school DJ works really well brings a lot of closure to that whole weirdness. Also that dance scene is fucking great, has absolutely nothing to do with the plot, which actually works since about 40% of the things in this movie have nothing to do with the plot of this movie. I absolutely unironically tried to learn this dance, man I fucking wish prom was actually like this. I don’t know about you guys but for me, both of my proms were not nearly this theatrical. I spent my first one playing black jack the whole time and my senior prom was full of people that were way too white to dance. Anyway, Laney doesn’t win and she leaves early. Zack gives a pretty boring speech. Taylor goes off on everyone. Frosted tips tries to get Laney in bed and everyone gets upset.

The whole thing ends with Laney coming home to find Zach waiting for her to make sure she’s okay, which is sweet and all but like I can’t help wondering how long he had just been standing there waiting. Especially since it seemed like her dad was just ignoring him. That’s just a funny image to me. Anyway, they dance in the backyard. They kiss. It’s cute. Zack loses the bet so he accepts his diploma naked which I’m pretty sure is indecent public exposure but sure.

Overall it’s a very cute movie. The clichés are sort of made up for by all the weird 90s movie things. Plus it has a pretty great soundtrack. I know I sort of really went in on this movie but to be honest I really enjoy watching it. I’m not sure why. It’s pretty bad when you think about it any deeper than surface level. But it’s also just really fun and the characters are weird and there’s too many duffel bags to be normal and it’s just funny. It’s really weirdly funny. And it has that same non-conclusion that a lot of teen rom-coms have where they just can’t really give you all that much and just make sure they’re happy even if you know there is no way they can continue a relationship outside of high school. It may sound like it, but I’m not mad at it. If you haven’t already I’d say watch it. Watch it as a relaxing mindless good time activity. At the very least you won’t be bored, but if you get sympathy embarrassment like I do then maybe skip a few parts.

As of right now this movie is not available for free on any streaming sites (yes I own it on DVD don’t @ me)

Final Verdict:

Actual movie review: 6/10

How fun is it to watch?: 8/10

#she's all that #90s movies #movie review

[wikiangela-fanfics]

"I could really eat somethin'"

This is a fic from Fictober 2019 (I wrote only two, lol) and it’s kind of based on “That 70′s show” and their Circle - so all the stuff of how they act is based on the show, I have no idea if it’s accurate even a little bit

And again, I liked the idea, but I feel like I fucked up the second half of this fic hah

Ao3

Summary:  Dean and his friends go out to eat something while being high, in the middle of the night. As chance would have it, they meet Dean's crush.

Words: 4514

***

It was Friday night. Actually, it was already Saturday. Four teenagers were sitting in a circle at the round table. They were all in great moods. It was probably mostly due to the joint they were sharing. They were finishing another one and they were quite high at this point. But let’s introduce them first.

First, sitting in an armchair, a little bent towards the table, with huge grin on his face, was Dean Winchester. He was laughing at something someone said, tho he wasn’t really sure what it was. Even in his washed out jeans and a t-shirt with a band name, and high, he looked gorgeous. Back in high school he was one of the hottest, most popular guys. Not that he cared about all that. He was a twenty-one year-old college student now, and they were sitting in his small apartment at the moment.

To Dean’s left was his best friend, Charlie Bradburry, sitting in the middle of the couch, talking passionately about something. They’ve been friends forever and now they were going to the same university. Her beautiful red hair was up in a ponytail, with few strands of hair and her fringe loose all around her face. She was wearing Dean’s t-shirt, because she spilled coke all over hers, being her clumsy self.

Opposite to Charlie, and to Dean’s right there was his other best friend, Benny Lafitte, on an ottoman, holding the joint at the moment and taking a drag on it. He was also Dean and Charlie’s friend. They all met at the same time in elementary school and were inseparable since. Benny too went to college with Dean and even used to live with him for a while, before they decided that living together was not good for their friendship. They drove each other crazy.

And finally, opposite to Dean, in another armchair, was Sam Winchester. He was Dean’s younger brother. He was seventeen, in high school, and visiting his brother during winter break. But he was… not like his brother. In Dean’s words, he was a geek. With great grades and already knowing exactly what he wants to do in the future. Dean was in college, but even he had no idea what he wants to do. Sam wasn’t smoking with them. He took few puffs just so they wouldn’t tease him about how lame and uptight he is. And he knew them all for years, he knew they would do that. Then they stopped paying attention and he was just observing them with amusement.

“I could really eat somethin’.” Dean said, interrupting Charlie’s rant about something he wasn’t listening to.

“You always do.” Charlie laughed, rolling her eyes. “Anyway...  what was I talking about?” she asked, furrowing her eyebrows and trying to remember.

“I honestly have no fuckin’ idea.” Benny said, giggling , and passing the joint along to Dean.

“You’re pretty.” Charlie said to Dean and chuckled.

“You’re prettier.” he answered with a wink, then taking a drag of the joint.

“Well, duh.” she said, laughing again. “Gimme” she took the spliff from his hand, smoking it instantly.

“I think you’ve had enough, babycakes.” Benny reached across the table to take it from her, but she dodged from his hand.

“Look who’s talking.” she said, taking another drag. Then she gave it to Sam, who immediately gave it to Benny, who after a while gave it back to Dean, who just remembered that he’s hungry.

“Guys, I’m starving.” Dean said again, in a kind of whiny tone. “Let’s go out.”

“Yeah, I could eat too.” Benny shrugged.

“Yay, food!” Charlie exclaimed. She was probably the highest of them all. She was already up, going to the front door and putting her shoes on.

“You good, Sammy?” Dean asked his younger brother, of course thinking it was his first time smoking. It wasn’t. And he wasn’t really smoking right now anyway. Dean stood up and put out the joint.

“Yeah.” Sam nodded, also standing up. “So we’re going out?”

Benny and Charlie were already out the door, with shoes and jackets on. They were laughing about something on the staircase.

“Yeah, we gonna eat.” Dean grinned. He couldn’t help it.

“Where?” Sam asked, putting his jacket and shoes on.

“Well…” Dean started, but got interrupted.

“How about this diner around the corner?” Benny said. “You know, the one where the guy you’re in love with works.” he said and Dean was surprised that his tone wasn’t even teasing like always. He just said that so casually, like it was the most common fact.

“I’m not.” Dean said. “But whatever. We can go there.” not like the guy’s gonna be there anyway. It was middle of the night and Dean saw him there only during days. And he knew for a fact that it’s open 24/7. He’s there quite a lot, especially on weekends, when the guy works.

“In love, huh?” Sam asked teasingly. That he was not aware of, and he was undoubtedly the person that knew literally everything about Dean.

“Shut you cakehole, bitch.” older brother said, but he couldn’t contain a smile. Mostly because he was that high.

"Jerk." Sam muttered back.

They all went out of the building and started walking down the street. They were all talking and laughing. Charlie and Dean were walking hand in hand. Benny and Sam were right next to them. It was around 2am. There weren’t many people out.

Few minutes later they went into the diner. And Dean stopped suddenly, unknowingly pulling Charlie back towards him, and causing Benny and Sam behind them to almost bump into him.

“Dude, what the fuck-” Benny started, but then he just snorted and tried to suppress a laugh. “So he is here.” he added. “Sammy, meet your brother’s great, unrequited love.”

“Maybe a little louder, would ya?” Dean said, trying to appear annoyed. But he wasn’t really capable of being annoyed right now, thanks to the weed. He was too relaxed. He pulled Charlie towards the nearest free table. It wasn’t hard, just two others were occupied. “And to you he’s Sam.” he added, knowing that the kid’s gonna say it anyway.

“C’mon.” Benny rolled his eyes, sitting down opposite to him and Charlie.

“Dean’s right.” Sam said, sitting next to him. “Only Dean calls me ‘Sammy’, which I still hate by the way.” he said with his famous annoyed expression and Dean laughed.

“Even our parents are not allowed to call him that.”

“We know.” Charlie spoke up. “We’ve known you for quite some time.”

They all started bickering, when someone approached the table.

“Hello, what can I get you?” they all looked at the waiter. Dean swallowed loudly. It was him. No amount of weed would make him relaxed enough to not be a little bit nervous around his crush.

“Hey Cas.” Dean cleared his throat, looking away from him. “I’ll have the usual.”

They all placed their orders and Cas went away, with Dean observing him. Cas was in a really well-fitting pair of black jeans, and a white polo shirt that they were supposed to wear in the diner, and a red apron. And he looked good. Like always. His dark hair all messy. But the thing about him Dean liked the most, in appearance, were his eyes. So blue and bright and… deep and nice and Dean was so in love with those eyes. He also loved Castiel’s sense of humor and the way he got confused when he didn’t understand a joke or a reference. Or how smart he was and he seemed to know every fact there is about everything. And he was so nice and helpful to people. They talked quite a lot. But not long, because Cas was always working. And Dean never had the guts to ask him out, even as friends. And when they weren’t talking and Dean was in the diner, he liked to observe him. He knew all his cutest smiles and expressions. And he was a little creeped out by himself, but he didn’t care.

“You’re staring.” Charlie said in a singsong tone.

“So what?” Dean found himself not really caring if Cas notices. But that lasted a moment, after which he came back to reality. “I’m hungry.” he said again.

“Dude, we just ordered. Be patient.” Benny rolled his eyes, smiling.

Dean and Benny started talking, Sam pitched in from time to time, mainly just listening, while Charlie was ignoring them completely, drawing on napkins with pen she asked another waiter for.

“Wow, that’s nice.” Sam said to her, while other guys were still talking.

“Thanks, Sammy.” she grinned and stuck out her tongue when he rolled his eyes. “You know you’re stuck with ‘Sammy’, right?”

“Yeah, unfortunately.” he sighed, but he had a little smile. They were like family. “But it’s okay, as long as it’s just you three.” he knew he would not win with them. With Dean. To Dean he will always be his little brother Sammy and he had to come to terms with it.

Just then Cas came over with a tray full of their food. He put everything on the table.

“Thanks, Cas.” Charlie grinned at him.

“That’s pretty.” he pointed to Charlie’s drawing.

“It’s nothing.” she chuckled. “You’re cute.” she added, looking up at him, and before she said anything else that might be stupid or about Dean, Dean nudged her with his elbow, maybe a little too hard. “Oh wow, I’m hungry.” and she dug in her food, already forgetting what she said.. They were still high.

“Enjoy your meal.” Cas smiled, a little abashed, and then was gone.

Just then Charlie said seriously “If you’re not gonna ask him out, I will.”

“What?” Dean turned towards her, shocked. “You’re a lesbian.”

“And still, he’s so dreamy even I am attracted to him.” she said, a little bit jokingly, but the rest of them couldn’t be sure. “I was never even attracted to you, and according to every girl in high school, that was impossible.” she pointed out.

“That’s not true, shut up.” Dean took a bite of his food. “If you go out with him, we’re not friends anymore.”

“You gonna break up with me?” she asked in a mockingly shocked tone. “Over a guy ? How can you even say that?” she theatrically put her hand on her chest. “Wait, you’re not gonna, are you?” she seemed genuinely concerned now.

“He’s not just any guy.” Benny said. Dean just kept eating, because he was really hungry. Normally they wouldn’t stop with the jokes and teasing, but they were stoned now, so one of them will change the subject soon. The only thing he would worry about, if he was sober, was that they were talking incredibly loud. “He’s the one . The one that wrapped Dean around his finger not even trying.”

“Seriously?” Sam asked, raising his eyebrows.

“Yeah.” Charlie nodded and then started laughing. Then she got all serious. “Guys!” she exclaimed. “What if we all got magic powers, like, like wizards- Like, what if we were supposed to go to Hogwarts but we never got out letters?!” she seemed really concerned about this, which was really funny to the rest of the group.

“Wait.” Benny thought about something intensively. “Yeah, I think I’ve heard it already tonight.”

“Really?” she was confused.

“Yeah, you’ve been talking about it before Dean suggested food.” Sam said. He was still the sober one.

“Oh.” she said, and it seemed like she was suddenly deep in thought. “I would eat some ice-cream.”

“Later.” Dean said, rolling his eyes. “Oh fuck, it’s good.” he added, pointing to his food. “But we gotta get ice-cream after this.”

“Yes!” Charlie clapped.

“This coke is the best!” said Benny, sipping the drink he ordered.

Sam was amazed at how quickly their moods and topics were changing, basically this whole night. He knew how weed worked, but still, he never saw his big brother like that, so it was weird.

When they were finished with the food, they spent a bit more time there, just sitting and talking. Then they paid and left. They started walking back towards Dean’s apartment, Benny and Charlie deep in conversation about some sci-fi movie they both watched and now they were discussing and freaking out over the end of the world. Sam was to them listening with amusement, and Dean was deep in thought. Then suddenly he stopped.

“I’m gonna be right back.” he pulled the keys out and gave them to Sam. And then he just turned around and walked away.

“What?” they were all confused.

“We were supposed to get ice-cream!” Charlie remembered.

“Let’s go then.” Benny decided. “Dean’s loss.”

“Are there any places with ice-cream even open right now?” Sam, of course, was the voice of reason.

“Shoot, I didn’t think of that.” Charlie said, looking like she’s about to cry.

“Then we’ll find some 24/7 supermarket or something and we’ll eat ice-cream at home.” Benny said. “Sound okay?”

***

Meanwhile, Dean felt bold and stoned and he was not thinking clearly. So he decided to do something stupid.

He went back to the diner and saw Cas wiping tables.

“Hey.” he said, walking over to him.

“Oh, hi.” Castiel looked at him. “Did you forget something?”

And Dean got lost in those blue eyes. And all he wanted to do was kiss Cas’ lips. But... Keep in mind that he was intoxicated, when he mindlessly said, or maybe even muttered “I could really eat somethin’.”

“What?” Castiel squinted his eyes adorably as he did, when he was really confused. “You just ate, Dean.”

“Oh, yeah, right.” Dean chuckled uncomfortably. “Sorry, I’m a little high. Um, what I wanted to say was-” he took a deep breath. “You wanna go out with me sometime?” he said quickly and nervously. The only reason he got it together was weed and even that wasn’t enough to not stress about Cas’ answer. Or maybe it was starting to wear off? He wasn’t sure.

“Of course.” Castiel smiled widely.

“I mean, on a date.” Dean added, not sure if the beautiful angel in front of him understood. He bit his lip nervously, while Cas just chuckled.

“I got that. I would love to go on a date with you.” Cas said slowly so it would really get to Dean. “Just don’t be high then.”

“Yeah, ‘course.” Dean laughed. “I’ll give you a call.”

“You don’t have my number.” Cas said, pulling his pad and a pen, writing a number and then tearing the page out of there and giving it to Dean. “Here.”

“Thanks.” Dean smiled. “But I really could eat somethin’. It’s the weed.” he explained. “I think we were gonna get ice-cream.”

“We have ice-cream.” Cas said. “We can share.” he smirked.

“Sure.” Dean said, already forgetting about his friends. “But this will not count as the first date.” he added.

***

Later that night, maybe around 3:30am, he was back in the apartment, where the rest of them were eating ice-cream from a box.

“Suckers.” he laughed. “I just had ice-cream with Cas. And I got a date. Sorry, Charlie, he’s mine.” Dean grinned and his friends were in shock.

“I knew you had the guts to ask him out.” Benny finally said. “Well, really I didn’t, but good for you.”

“Congrats. And don’t fuck it up.” Sam spoke.

“I guess I prefer ladies anyway.” Charlie shrugged.

Dean sat down with them and after the box of ice-cream was empty, they all went to sleep.

***

The next day, when the weed wore off and Dean was sober, he woke up and started panicking.

"I asked Cas out." he said to himself. He pulled the number out of his pocket, as he didn't change before sleep, and just stared at it for some time. "And he said yes. Fuck me.” he covered his face with his hand, still not believing that it actually happened. But he knew it did. He didn’t remember much of last night, but he definitely remembered his talk with Cas.

“I’m sure he will, but shut up.” Charlie groaned next to him, turning her back to him and taking more of the covers with her. She wasn’t a morning person. Well, neither was Dean, but he was too nervous about his date. They were sleeping in his bed, Sam was on the couch in the living room, and Benny on the floor in living room.

Dean rolled his eyes and got out of bed. He quickly put Cas’ number into his phone. He knew that Castiel is probably asleep after night shift, and also he didn’t want to be the guy that calls right away. That would seem lame. Although he did not want to wait too long...

So he called him later that day, when his friends went back to their houses and it was just him and his brother.

“Hello?” Cas answered and Dean felt this familiar warm feeling he got every time he heard Cas’ voice.

“Hey Cas. It’s Dean.” he said and went to his room, to be alone and so Sam, who was sitting in the living room watching tv, would not hear his conversation.

“Hello, Dean.” Castiel said. “I’m glad you called.”

“I’m calling about that date… because I did ask you out on a date, right?” he added, suddenly doubting himself.

“Yes, you did.” Cas laughed. “You really were that high, huh?”

“I guess.” Dean bit his lip. “So, are you free anytime next week? Around 6pm maybe?”

“I’m free tomorrow night.” Cas said, but then added quickly “But we can find time next week too, I just thought- Nevermind, sorry.”

“No, that’s cool. I mean, that’s even better.” Dean assured. “Honestly I wanted to ask you even about tonight, but I didn’t wanna be too, um, pushy, I guess. But I’ve been wanting to ask you out for so long that the sooner the better.”

“Okay, great.” Dean could swear he heard Cas smiling. “Tomorrow night, then.”

“Oh, wait.”  Winchester suddenly remembered that his brother is staying with him for another few days. He opened the door and called “Yo, Sammy, you gonna be okay if I leave you here alone tomorrow night for a couple hours?”

“I’m gonna be fine, Dean.” Dean could see only his back, but he was sure Sam just rolled his eyes. “Go on your big date and have fun.”

“Thanks, little bro.” he closed the door again. “Sorry ‘bout that.” he said to the phone. “It’s just that my brother’s visiting and, you know.” he shrugged, although Cas obviously couldn’t see him.

“So tomorrow around six?”

“Yeah, that’d be great. Should I pick you up?”

"Sure, why not.” Cas chuckled. “I’ll text you the address.”

***

He was really nervous for the rest of the day, and the next day. Normally, when he or his friends were feeling stressed, they would smoke a bit, just enough to relax. But he promised Cas he would be sober. Besides, he wanted to remember everything exactly.

But he didn’t even know where to take him or what to wear.

“Dean, relax.” Sam sighed, when Dean was running all over the apartment, looking for his favourite t-shirt. “You’ll figure out what you wanna do together.”

“Yeah, but still. I have no clue- ah, shit!” he exclaimed after he hit his foot against the couch. “I really want this to work out. It has to.” he added, running back to his room. “What t-shirt did Charlie wear yesterday? You know, the one she took from my closet?”

“I don’t know, didn’t pay much attention to that. Just wear whatever, you always look the same.” Sam was getting annoyed. His brother was insufferable sometimes. “And you never really cared what you wore on dates.”

“Yeah, but this is Cas.” Dean had to go out in twenty minutes if he wanted to be on time. “I really, really like him, Sammy.” he stopped in the door to his room and looked at his brother.

“I know.” Sam sighed. “And he likes you too, don’t worry. I honestly don’t know any person, who isn’t a teacher, who didn’t like you.” he said, because, yeah, Dean wasn’t so popular with the teachers. He was doing good at school, but his attitude wasn’t always the best. He was kind of a smart-ass.

“Funny.” Dean rolled his eyes. “And he’s gonna be a teacher.” he mumbled, going back to looking through his closet. Cas was working at the diner on weekends, and for the rest of the week he was in college too.

“Then you’re screwed.” Sam joked and got a pair of socks thrown at his head. “I’m kidding! Jerk.” he scoffed, getting up to take a beer out of the fridge. He loved being at Dean’s place, because he could do whatever he wanted, like drink beer that his brother would buy him.

“Bitch.” Dean responded. After few minutes he walked out of his room in blue jeans, black t-shirt with unbuttoned, red, plaid shirt over it. “Be honest, how do I look?”

“Like I said, same as always.” Sam rolled his eyes.

“You’re no help.” Dean scoffed and FaceTimed Charlie, asking the same question. She was at some party, getting drunk and high again.

“You look awesome!” she yelled, through the music. “I’m sure you gonna get some tonight!”

Sam laughed at that and Dean just hung up. It was about making good impression, not...ugh. Well, Cas knew him for over a year now and still wanted to go out with him, so maybe he didn’t have to panic as much. And he kinda ruined the ‘first’ impression when he asked him out while high… All that is left is not making a fool out of himself on the date.

***

He parked his car in front of the building Cas lived in. He got out of the car and that’s when he saw the door opening and Cas was walking towards him, wearing a light blue shirt and black jeans, with unzipped jacket over his shoulders.

“Right on time.” Cas grinned.

“Yeah, like to be punctual. For the important things.” Dean chuckled. “Fuck, you’re cute.” he said without thinking, looking at Castiel’s smile. Cas blushed and gave him a sheepish smile.

“You too.” he said and they were silent for a moment. “Is this awkward?” he then added, feeling a bit weird.

“Only if we let it be.” Dean answered, opening the car door for Cas. He was acting way more confident than he felt. “So how about dinner?”

***

They ended up going to the dinner, then to the movies, and then finally ended up in a bar, drinking beer and talking. Turns out, once they got past the awkwardness, they couldn’t stop talking about basically everything.

“So do you smoke often?” Cas asked, taking a sip of his beer.

“What?” Dean was caught off guard, as they were just talking about the fact that they like the same books.

“I mean weed. You know, when you asked me out-”

“Oh, yeah, right.” Dean interrupted him with a little chuckle. “Yeah, I was pretty stoned. But not too much, okay? I know when to stop, unlike one of my best friends.” he added.

“So do you do this often?” Castiel asked again.

“I mean, when I’m very stressed, or when I’m with my friends and we’re bored... “ he bit his lip. “Maybe quite often.” he shrugged. But then he thought that maybe Cas asked because he doesn’t want to be with a person who gets baked all the time. “But not that much, I mean, it’s not like we do it every day. And weed is not that bad-”

“I know, okay.” Cas interrupted him with a smile. “I don’t have a problem with that. I like you.”

“Well, that’s good. ‘Cause I like you too.” Dean grinned.

“Good. I was only asking, because I never did it, so-”

“Wait.” Dean’s eyes widened. “You’re tellin’ me you never smoked weed?”

“Never had the chance.” Cas shrugged.

“Well, do you wanna?” Winchester asked, not really thinking.

“Why, do you have some?” Cas laughed, but he caught himself really considering it. You gotta try everything, right?

“Not on me, but I got a stash at my place. We could go even now. I mean, if you want to. And my brother’s there, but he’s cool.”

“Okay.” Cas said, surprising them both. “Let’s go.”

“Now?” in answer Cas just nodded.

***

So half an hour later, they were sitting on Dean’s couch, and Dean was lighting up a joint. Meanwhile, Sam was in Dean’s room, where Dean told him to go, reading a book.

Cas smoked for the first time and it wasn’t that bad. At first he didn’t feel anything. Then he  started to feel kinda funny. And he was laughing and didn’t even know why.

“For a first time, I think that’s enough.” Dean said after a while. He laughed too.

“I want to kiss you.” Cas said out of the blue, looking Dean straight into the eyes. He was thinking it the whole evening, and now it just kinda slipped out of his mouth.

“That’s fine by me.” Dean smiled, leaning in. He was too chilled out to be stressing about it. When their lips met, he felt ten times higher than he was. It was so amazing and new and exciting. And they both couldn’t stop smiling during the kiss. After they broke the kiss, they just looked at each other.

“You know what?” Cas chuckled, his forehead against Dean’s.

“What?” Dean asked, pulling a little bit away and looking into those beautiful eyes.

“I could really eat something.” at that they both burst out laughing. So they decided to ask Sam to make them some sandwiches. He wasn’t happy about it, but he did it anyway. It was Dean’s big date, he didn't want to be the one ruining something, even by not making a fucking sandwich.

And years later, when Dean and Cas moved in together, they still couldn’t believe that it all started from weed. If it wasn’t for that night when Dean got high and wanted to go out to eat, who knows if he would ever had the guts to ask Cas out? Maybe Cas would ask him? Although he was never really sure if Dean was interested and didn’t want to make a fool of himself. Anyway, the sentence “I could really eat somethin’” has become one of the inside jokes for the group of friends, and, more importantly, a really important thing for Cas and Dean. A sentence that started it all. Or maybe it was weed? Well, they were thankful to both.

That night with his friends, smoking in the Circle, forever was the memory Dean would cherish, even if he remembered it really vaguely. He got the love of his life out of all this. The person who he would be with for the rest of his life. Turns out, weed can be really helpful, huh?

#destiel #Destiel fanfic #destiel oneshot #fluff i guess #fluff #destiel fluff #fanfic #old fic #i kinda like it #but i fucked it up #i write only fluff #fanfic writing #posting old stuff #for now #based on a show #that 70s show #inspired by a show #fictober 2019 #fictober prompts

[calpalirwin]

Parent Teacher Conference

A/N: Anon request- Okay but single dad ashton au where he doesnt wanna risk getting his kid involved with a woman but ur the new teacher for them and yall meet and he falls madly for u

Content: All the feels! And swearing.

And away, and away we go!

~~~

“C’mon, Seb, get a move on,” I called out, peeking my head into the bathroom.

My carbon-copy of a son with a mop of brown-blond curls turned to me, toothbrush in his mouth, and grinned. “Dad! I’m in big kid school now!” his voice muffled around the toothbrush.

“Yeah, and you’re gonna be late if you don’t step it up a notch.”

4th grade. My 9 year old was going into 4th grade. I choked back the memories, refusing to cry, because “Dad, stop crying, it’s only 4th grade.”

“You’re right, bud, it’s only 4th grade,” I had told him, tucking him into bed last night. To him, it was only 4th grade. For me, this was also the anniversary of the day his mom left us 8 years ago.

I looked at my son, his brand new sneakers that would have scuff marks on them when I picked him up later, a long sleeved flannel tied around his waist. God, if it weren’t for the fact that he was clearly me- the eyes and the giggle were a dead give away- I swear he was Luke’s. “Uncle Lu tell you to dress like that?” I asked.

The curls bounced as his head bobbed up and down. “He said it was cool. And I wanna be cool, Dad. It’s 4th grade.”

I imitated my head exploding. God, when did this kid grow up? Seemed like just yesterday his entire body could fit in my hands.

“Dad? Dad!”

I shook my head, clearly the thoughts. “Yeah, bud?”

“Can we go now?” he asked, a Spider-Man backpack slung over one of his shoulders.

“C’mon, then,” I smiled.

~~~

It wasn’t like I hadn’t tried dating since Seb’s mom left us. I had. I was just very selective. I didn’t want to bring a woman home, have things go wrong, and be left to pick up not only my broken pieces but my son’s as well.

My heart was one thing. I’d been known to be reckless with it. But, my son’s was another matter entirely. He was too young to know heartache.

Plus every time I had to cancel a date last minute because Seb got sick, or left a date early because Seb called me in tears asking where I was, didn’t lend itself to much romance. Girls could go on and on about how hot single dads were, but what they failed to realize is that my son would always be my number 1 priority.

~~~

“Mr. Irwin, I’d like to talk to you about Sebastian. Is there anyway you can meet with me after school? Say 2:45?”

I pinched the bridge of my nose. School had only been in session for a month. It couldn’t be time for parent-teacher conferences already. Which only meant one thing- something had happened with Seb. “Yeah, I’ll be there.”

“Who was that?” Calum asked me.

“Seb’s teacher. She wants to talk with me after school.”

“Isn’t his teacher hot?” Mike asked.

“What? No… I mean, she’s attractive, sure. But, she’s his teacher.”

“Ooo, Ash like the teacher!” Luke teased.

I felt my face flush. Alright, maybe I did a little. She was attractive, stunningly so, and she was a teacher. Which meant she understood kids. And maybe, that just might mean she understood single dads.

~~~

“Hello?” I asked, sticking my head in the classroom at 2:45.

The bell had rung fifteen minutes ago and I still hadn’t seen my son. Now, I saw why, as he was hunched in his desk reading, a scowl on his face.

“Dad!” his face lit up when he heard my voice.

“Keep reading, Sebastian,” his teacher’s voice said firmly.

“Yes ma’am…”

“Mr. Irwin, glad you could make,” she smiled softly at me. “Please, have a seat.”

I moved to sit in chair she had just besides her desk. “So, you wanted to talk?” I asked.

“Yes. It seems your son had an incident with a classmate on the playground today.”

“Seb?” I asked, fighting to keep my voice level.

“Alex is a jerk! And she took away my recess!” he shouted at me.

“Sebastian,” both his teacher and I warned, and then I had to work at keeping the smile off my face.

“Anyway,” she said, turning her attention back to me. “There was an incident. Both boys lost their recess privileges for the rest of this week and next week.”

“You keep saying ‘incident,’ what happened exactly?”

“I keep saying ‘incident,’ Mr. Irwin, because your son is an incredibly… strong-willed individual.”

“You can just say he’s stubborn. And it’s Ash, please.”

“I prefer the term strong-willed, Ash,” she smiled at me again and I liked the way it was genuine and soft, her eyes crinkling at the edges. And I liked the way my name sounded rolling off her lips. And I was in trouble.

“So, my stubborn son won’t tell you what happened?”

“Precisely. And I’m not one to involve admin if I can help it. But in order to not involve admin, I need to know what happened. That’s where I’m hoping you can come in.”

“Seriously, Seb? She just said she’s not gonna send you to the principal, and you’re mad she took away recess from you?”

“She wouldn’t take my recess away if she knew what Alex said!” His book was now closed and clenched in his fists, vibrating with his tiny rage.

“Sebastian, I would love to know what Alex said,” she told him, keeping herself calm even though my son was far from it himself. Was that a special gift all teachers had, or just her? “But, every time I ask, you just tell me he was being a jerk. Maybe you’d like to tell your dad instead?”

“He is a jerk!” he screamed, throwing his book. “He’s… he’s… he’s a fuckin asshole!”

“Sebastian James Irwin! What the hell has gotten into you? Start explaining yourself, now!”

His face scrunched up as he realized I was now angry with him. “He said I didn’t have a mom!” he wailed at me before bursting into tears and running out of the classroom.

I fell back in my seat, watching him run off, my heart shattering in my chest. He was right. This Alex kid was a fuckin asshole.

“You okay?” her voice sounded, her hand touching mine.

“I thought I was doing everything right…”

“You are. Sebastian is by far one of the best students I’ve had. He’s so kind and polite to everybody. He’s funny, too. Which is why today surprised me. It seemed so out of character.”

“I better go after him,” I sighed, getting up.

“I’ll come with,” she offered, getting up herself.

It was the first time a girl had offered to come with me before when dad duty called. I couldn’t help it. I smiled at her.

“Now, I see where Sebastian gets his smile from,” she smiled back.

~~~

We found him huddled in the corner of the highest part of the play structure.

“Would you get down, please?” I asked from the ground. Climbing up there myself was going to be a bitch.

“No! Go away! I hate you!”

“Love you too, bud!”

“Where’s my mom?”

“I don’t know, bud. Come down so we can talk, please.”

“No!”

“That wasn’t a question, Seb.”

“I don’t care!”

“You have to the count of 3 to get down here, or I’m coming up there,” I said, really hoping I didn’t have to go up there after him. “1.”

“No!”

“2!”

“I hate you!”

3!” I started my ascent. My kid, the fuckin brat that he was, waited until I was on the middle platform before launching himself down the slide. “You stay right there,” I warned, moving to go back down.

“Sebastian,” I heard her voice say as he started to run. “Are we making smart choices right now, or are we acting on impulse?”

“Impulse…” he answered, stopping in his tracks.

“And, what do we want to do?”

“Make smart choices…”

“So, what do we do to calm our impulses, so we can make smart choices?”

“Breathe…”

“Alright, breathe with me. Ready?”

“Yeah…”

“And, inhale, 3, 4, 5, 6. Hold. Exhale, 4, 3, 2 , 1,” she coached as I watched. Was she trying to make me fall in love with her? “Better?”

“Better…”

“Alright, you ready to tell us what’s wrong?”

“Alex said-” he started, already getting upset again.

She held up a finger. “Calmly, Sebastian. What upset you?”

“My feelings were hurt when Alex said I didn’t have a mom.”

“Why?”

“Because it made me feel sad.”

“Why?”

“Because I have Dad. And Uncle Cal, Lu, and Mikey. And grandma. And Auntie Lauren, and Uncle Harry. And Auntie Crystal and Auntie Sierra.”

“Wow, sounds like you have a lot of people who love you.”

“But, I don’t have a mom…”

“Lots of people don’t have moms. Or dads. Spider-Man didn’t have his parents. Was he still loved?”

“Yeah…”

“So, what’s wrong?”

“Am I broken?”

“No, Seb,” I finally spoke up. Great. My life had come full circle. I was the man without a dad, raising a son without a mom. And now he was asking himself the same questions I used to ask myself. I crouched down to be eye level with him. “You know why you don’t have a grandpa?”

“Because… I dunno…”

“Because I don’t have a dad.”

“Where is your dad?”

“I dunno. But what I do know is that I’m not broken. And neither are you.”

“Are they in Heaven or…?” he asked, struggling with the concept of someone just abandoning him like it was nothing. Death made sense. But just straight up leaving your kid? Hell, even I still couldn’t wrap my head around it.

“No. I wish that were the case, but, no. They just left.”

“So, they didn’t want us…? Why?”

“I dunno, bud. But, I know that I want you. And I know that all your aunties, uncles, and grandma want you. We love you, Seb, and you’re always gonna have us. Promise.”

He nodded, seeming to accept that our love would be enough for him. Then, “Hey, Dad?”

“Yeah, bud?”

“Can Miss Y/L/N come with us to get ice cream?”

“Oh, you think you’re getting ice cream after this stunt? Keep dreamin, pal!”

“But, you promised if I got on A on my test we’d get ice cream. Show him, Miss! Show him my test!”

She laughed and nodded. “Sebastian did get an A on his fractions test. Perfect score in fact.”

“See? Pay up, Daddy-o!” Seb laughed at me.

“Who taught you to call me ‘Daddy-o’, Seb?” I asked, giggling.

“Uncle Lu!”

I laughed again. Of course it was. “Alright. But only 1 scoop.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he said skipping off.

“So, would it be too forward if I asked you to ice cream? I mean, the kid… he’s been through a lot today. You don’t wanna break his heart, do ya?”

She laughed. “You rely on him to get all your dates?”

“Only the ones that are worth it. You’re great with him. He really likes having you as a teacher.”

“I really like having him as a student. I hear his dad’s pretty cute, too.”

“Cute dad, huh? Did you hear he’s single?”

“Oh, wow. Did you hear his teacher’s single too, and happens to love ice cream?”

#parent teacher conference #ashton irwin #ashton blurb #dad!ash #anon request #ow my heart #galcal irwin

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #271

“some of those who work forces are the same that burn crosses.”

Do you cook on the stove at all, or just microwave? I just use the microwave. I'm scared of the stove lmao. Do you ever debate religion with your friends? Bruuuh no. I am so disinterested in debating about something that to me ultimately doesn't matter yet humanity has made so serious. Whatever happens after we die, happens, there's that. Just be a decent human being and go out knowing you did your best to make the world better than when you entered it. Do you keep your shampoo in the shower or someplace else? In the shower. Something your mother said or did that shocked you: Like... recently? Or in my entire life? I dunno about recently, but I guess the most shocking to me was when she vehemently called my sister something I won't repeat. Did your mom go to college? She was before the cancer. Ready to graduate, too, but that didn't go as planned thanks to, y'know, cancer. Which food do you think you have the most cans of in your cupboard? Good question, no clue. I don't really pay attention to the canned foods. Maybe fruits? Do you save fortunes from fortune cookies? No. Are you offended when Christmas is spelled Xmas? Nah. Where do you put your keys when you come home? In my purse. Describe your favorite mug or glass to drink from? I don't have one. That I use, anyway. Sara gave me a Markiplier quote one that's a Holy Item on my shelf and instead of holding a beverage holds All My Love. Your bad habit that you love the most: UGH I hate how much I love soda. Invent a pop tart flavor: STORY TIME!!!! As a kid, there was this contest to design a type and you won like... a fucking huge supply of the newest flavor, which was at the time that wild berry whatever thing. My sister and I made one that I think I recall being pink with heart sprinkles and strawberry flavored, and we won. Guess who fucking hates the wild berry flavor now lmao. Okay but anyway if I was to invent one now... is there a BLUE raspberry flavor? Cuz a bitch loves blue raspberry flavored everything. Do you name your pets after tv/movie/book characters: Sometimes. I don't currently have a pet that is, though. Are you proud of yourself for what you've accomplished? The few things I actually have, sure? I'm more ashamed of what I haven't. Do you own any sexy lingerie? Nooooo no one would want to see me in that, least of all myself lmao. Have you ever caught a bouquet of flowers at a wedding before? No. Has a horse ever neighed at you before? Uhhh I don't think so? Do you prefer ice cream or sorbet? Ice cream. Have you gotten your pets spayed? My cat is. That's like... the only pet we ever have fixed, sadly. My parents/Mom (depending on time period) could just never afford it. The only real reason we managed to get Roman neutered was because our sister directed us to a cheap on-the-go business where it was like... only $45, and Roman was marking the house badly so it was pretty urgent. Would you ever take in a stray animal? HA, that is the STORY of my family with cats. At this current time, most likely not. We don't need another pet right now, nevermind one of a mysterious background with my mom being sick. When is payday? N/A Have you ever walked on a runway before? No. How long is your workday? N/A Is there a walkway or a pathway to your front door? No. What is your favorite color? What is your least favorite color? Pink is superior to all colors. I'm really not a puke-green fan, but I mean... is anyone? What color dominates your wardrobe? Everything is B L A C K. What color are your eyes? Grayish blue. Are you colorblind, or do you know anyone who is? I'm not, but Jason's brother is colorblind to I think red and blue? Do you prefer color photos or black-and white? It greatly depends on the composition and subject matter of the photograph. I find great beauty in both. If I had to pick though, color usually appeals to me more. Are you one of those people who can taste, feel, or smell colors? No. Have you ever seen a double rainbow before? Yes. Do you enjoy coloring? It tends to be my least-favorite part of the art process because that's where I always fuck shit up. Do you know anyone who is racist? Oh my, PLENTY. Welcome to the South. Are your nails painted any color(s) right now? They never are. Can you lift more than 100lbs? I probably CAN, but it would be very hard. What's your opinion on incest? It's fucking repulsive. Morally and negative from a scientific standpoint, anyway. Do you have a favorite color for cats? Orange. What video games did you play when you were younger? I was a massive gamer as a kid, teenager too, so I could put a hell of a lot here. But, I'll just imagine you're referring to when I was quite young. The Spyro games (save for Skylanders) were my LIFE, I loved Nintendogs, the Crash Bandicoot trilogy, lots of games that were based on movies (like Madagascar and Finding Nemo are two I really enjoyed), uhhh... OH! And absolutely weird, but I loved hunting games. Like, I had a whooole lot, despite hating real life hunting even as a child. I think it was because I got to see wild animals, plus it could be calming to wander and scary, too, when things like wolves found you. Oh, and then there were fishing games, too. LOOK I just love(d) games. Would you ever get a tramp stamp? I hate that nickname. Having a tattoo literally anywhere does not equate you to a stereotype. Yes, because I want to be heavily tattooed anyway. Did you cry when Michael Jackson died? No. Not that I didn't care at all, I just wasn't a giant fan. What's the ugliest species of animal? Lmao how mean. The blobfish immediately comes to mind, though. Looks like a ball of mucus shaped into an old man's face. Are you embarrassed about any songs on your iPod? I used to be, now it's just like whatever. I like what I like. What do you use to listen to music on the computer? YouTube. Do people know a lot about you? Places on the Internet sure do lmao. I try to be much more private now online to a degree, depending on where. Irl, no. I'm too easily embarrassed/afraid of being judged for what makes me, me. Who was the last person you slept beside? Sara. Do you like Metallica? They're one of my all-time favorites and I trust NOBODY who claims to hate them. What's your favorite kind of soup? I'm not a fan of soup. What’s your best friend's favorite band? Her all-time favorite is Pink Floyd. Who was the last person you took a picture with? Ummm idr. Do you play Guitar Hero? Not really anymore, but I fuckin slayed that shit back in the day. Whose house did you last visit? My older sister's. Who was the last person to come to your house? My younger sister. What time do you usually eat dinner? Anywhere between 5:30 to like... 7:00 or so. Have you ever searched your own house on Google Earth? Not this current one, no. Does it bother you when people have a loose grip on hugs? No? Some people don't like hugs. Are you looking forward to next year? I don't know. Is covid gonna be history by then? It depends on a lot of things. What have you done so far this summer? *blink blink blink* What's your favorite punk band? Honestly, I don't even really separate bands by genres now because I don't know. There's so so many, plenty overlap, etc. etc, and people - especially those who enjoy rock/metal stuff, I've found - get all snobbish and "WELL ACTUALLY" when you "misgenre" or whatever. Which is better: cold or hot weather? COLD. FUCK hot weather. Anything above ~75*F is disgusting. Is photography something you enjoy? I'm an aspiring photographer so like- What’s the best flavor snow cone? I haven't had a legit snow cone in years... but we have a place called Pelican's Snowballs, which is really just like... snow cones in a cup? They are A M A Z I N G and strawberry is to die for. When driving, are you a speed demon or do you drive like your grandmother? I don't drive because I'm terrified to. Have you ever met someone who just had you at hello? No. Bet you were expecting "Jason," but no, I was weirded out that a stranger just comes up to me in the hall on the way to class and starts talking to me. Have you ever written poetry? Yeah. Do you have any addictions? Technology, ugh. And soda, rip. When was the last time you just laid and looked at the stars? Laid, many years ago one summer when Jason and I were just lying on the trampoline while my dad was grilling. What song reminds you of an ex? A lot. What color eyeliner do you prefer? Black. What was the last thing that you made with your own two hands? Like, made from scratch? Hell if I know. What’s the deepest water you will wade into? Like, shoulder-deep in the ocean. How many blades does your razor have? Three, I think? Highest grade of education you’ve completed? Just one semester of college. Lowest grade you’ve received on a test? Yikes, Fs in college math. He taught in such an abstract way that I failed like... every test, or nearly did. I was too afraid to ask questions continuously. Do you enjoy sitting in the sun or the shade more? There is NO situation where I would rather be in the sun. Do you enjoy going to arcades? Hell yeah. What parades do you like to go to? None. When’s the last time you went on a tirade? I ranted to Mom about the fucking ridiculous anti-maskers that are a big reason this motherfucking pandemic is worsening in America. With my mom being immunocompromised, it is something I take VERY goddamn seriously. It's not a difference in opinion - it's a difference in morality. Do you like to play charades? I loved to as a kid. Now it'd feel weird. Would you ever lead a crusade? I wouldn't want to lead anything. Have your parents ever forbade you from doing something? Aha, so as a kid, I had a game demo disc that showed the preview to Parasite Eve, and my sisters and I would secretly watch it despite it scaring us to where Mom did forbid us to click on it. And all these years later, I've played it and love it... ha ha. Otherwise, my parents have always been pretty open to letting us do stuff, save for things the usual parent doesn't like, like swearing. When’s the last time someone said something degrading to you? A few days back when I got into an argument on Facebook about some asshole teasing their newly-hatched cobra to where it kept striking at the tongs, hood flared and all. Apparently I had no idea what I was talking about, pointing out the snake was clearly stressed out. What’s the last homemade dish you’ve made? I legit haven't cooked a thing since Sara was here and I made her eggs for breakfast. Which was like, a year ago. Do you like lemonade? What flavor(s)? Broooo YES. Pink lemonade is better, but I enjoy just the classic kind, too. Has anyone ever serenaded you before? Fuck this question. Would you like to visit the Everglades? Lemme see them motherfuckin GATORS. Have you ever attended a masquerade ball before? No. Would be dope, though. Have you lost anyone to AIDS? No, thank god. Have you ever been paid for sex? Hell no. Have you ever had a maid in your home before? HUNNY we are too poor for that shit. Do you know how to do different types of braids in hair? No. When’s the last time you wore a Band-aid? Where and why? I have no clue. When was the last time you were afraid? Of what? A family friend was over here a couple days ago and she had this weirdest muscle cramp in her leg that brought her to the floor gasping for like over a minute. I was super scared, and Mom was too, as we had no idea what to do. I almost had to call 911. Crazy woman hasn't gone to the doctor about it, to my knowledge. Would you ever consider growing your hair out to your waist, or longer? NOOOO NO NO. I am probably having short hair for the rest of my life. Is there anywhere in your house that you're scared to be alone in? No. What is your favorite shoe brand? I don't have one. What weird things did you do as a small child? I was just a weird kid in general. I did a lotta stuff that would make people raise a brow. Who puts the most pressure on you in your life? My goddamn self. Do you laugh off embarrassing moments? Hell no, I turn red as a cherry and probably cry once I'm in private. Do you have a favourite actor/actress? If so, who? No. Do you like little kids, or do they annoy you? I feel uncomfortable around them. They're too brutally honest, I feel like every move I make is wrong, and I just generally feel incapable of handling them properly. Do you want a small or a large family when you get older? Well, I don't want any kids, so... Are you a good dancer? If not, do you enjoy dancing anyways? No and no. I'd be embarrassed. Have you ever lied to avoid getting into trouble? Yeah. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital for a long period of time? I'd say two weeks is pretty long, and I was supposed to stay an entire month. I only got out of that by going to court. Do you take a lot of pictures of yourself, or are you camera shy? I HATE being in front of the camera. What are your choice of toppings on a hamburger? And do you prefer gas or charcoal grilling? I just like ketchup, mustard, and pickles, really. A bit of diced onion is fine, too. I prefer gas; I hate the charcoal-y taste. You are chosen to have lunch with the president. the condition is you only get to ask one question. What do you ask? Fuck that, I'd decline going to begin with. What is your concession stand must-have at the movies? Popcorn, of course. Which do you dislike most: pop-up ads or spam email? Pop-up ads. How long was it from ‘the first date’ until the proposal of marriage? How long until the wedding? N/A What topic can put you to sleep quicker than any other? Probably like, wrestling. Golf. Sports in general. How many times did it take you to pass your drivers test? I haven't tried it yet. If you had to have the same topping on your vanilla ice cream for the rest of your life, what topping would you choose? I always just use chocolate syrup. Would you rather be trapped in an elevator, or stuck in traffic? CHRIST, TRAFFIC. Elevators kinda scare me and I'm very scared of being stuck in one. What are you sitting on right now? My bed. Are you listening to anything? Halocene's cover of "Killing In The Name." Have you parents ever hated one of your boyfriends/girlfriends? No. Who was the last person to give you money? I have no idea. Have you ever dreamed of someone you barely know? Actually yeah. Weird as hell. When was the most recent time, if ever, that you felt “impostor syndrome,” or that you felt unqualified to be somewhere? Hm. I suppose when I went to the doctor by myself for my foot. I'd never done an appointment without Mom at all, and I was veeery clueless to a lot of steps, questions, etc. What are some ways that pop culture has helped you learn historic or scientific facts? Some TV shows, I guess. Or games, even. Have you ever had a job in which you felt that you had nothing to do? What was the protocol in that situation (e.g., surfing the web, taking on the job of co-workers, or pretending to work)? If you have not, do you think it would be lucky or unlucky to have such a job? No. I was expected to always be doing something. I'd consider that to be pretty unlucky, as it sounds boring and pointless. Have you ever intimidated or made another person feel legitimately threatened? If not, do you think that you could ever be seen as scary? I don't know. Mom has admitted me yelling has scared her before, though. I can yell pretty fucking loudly. But she herself never felt threatened. And do I think I could be seen as scary? Yes. Especially given my chronic fucking nightmares that almost always involve confrontation. In what ways do you or would you need to be validated by a partner? (For example, liking your posts/talking about you on social media, or perhaps by doting on you with gifts.) I am VERY much a "words of affirmation" person. I NEED reassurance that I'm adequate and sincerely loved. When you are having a hard time emotionally, what are some of the telltale ways that you act out or that your personality reflects your struggles? I become very snappy and more reclusive than usual. I cry really easily. Do you tend to succeed by weaning yourself off of something or by quitting cold turkey? It depends on what it is, but I've generally needed to wean myself off of things when necessary. Is there a specific type of pet breed/size/etc. that you don’t want? Why not? I am very turned off by animal breeds/types that are subject to serious health issues, such as pugs, dachsunds, Persians, spider ball pythons... Just don't fucking breed them. Ironically, some of these are the cutest, but I care far more about the health of the animal. Have you ever lived in a notoriously dangerous area? If not, would it bother you to do so? Yes and yes. Has a friend’s significant other ever interfered with or damaged your friendship? What about a significant other of yours damaging a friendship? I don't believe so, no. What, if anything, is something that you put pressure on yourself about? What do you imagine would happen if you did not live up to this expectation? Getting a job, for Heaven's sake, and actually managing to keep it. I've proven inept in this area so far, so, I've already failed that. :^) If you have been in a serious relationship, have you and your partner ever discussed lifetime plans that clashed? Did you reconcile them or did you break up? If you have not been in a relationship, what are some issues that would be deal-breakers? Jason and I kinda casually talked about kids early in our relationship, at which time I didn't see myself wanting them at all and he did at some point. It didn't really bother either of us, though; it was something we'd figure out if we actually got anywhere. Then he became the only person I could ever imagine myself having kids with. Life's funny.

#survey #quiz #questions

[weekendfriend-blog]

Life Story

So I really haven't gotten this whole story straight because I was really high when I realized why I'm the way I am. Now I know a lot of people rn are depressed and shit and are going to read this and just say, "Oh boo hoo, that's tragic," but just because people aren't depressed doesn't mean they're not fucked up. Now to start, I'm a male aged 17 with 3 older brothers. This summer was a real eye-opener. I often hear people say "When you're high,  you start putting two and two together," or something like that. Now I never really meant the meaning of this, like, when I smoke I just sit on the couch slowly drifting off while on Instagram or Ifunny or some shit. But the last time I smoked, I was already thinking of my life and why I'm like this. At age 5, my parents got divorced. Now I remember I cried like a bitch but I didn't know what them getting divorced meant. The next year, I realized i got two birthdays and two Christmas's. "WOW, is this gonna happen every year," I remember thinking, and so honestly I was fine with them splitting up because, well, we were a wealthy family (mostly my father bc my mom was a self-employed massage therapist) and I got as many shit as I wanted. This happened for about 10 years, and I finally found out why my parents hated each other and how my dad got rich and the family affairs going on in my family (ill get to that). Fast forward a couple years, my brothers got a bit hostile because of this. My two brothers closest to my age, 2 and 4 years older than me, started picking on me and shit and I was defenseless. Because of this, I got anger issues and didn't want to go outside and play football with them and so they bullied me more and so on. So I sat inside and played Xbox and at the time I lost all my allergies (i was gluten-free, lactose intolerant, couldn't have eggs and coconut. I am still deathly allergic to literally every nut ). SO all at once, I started eating these amazing foods while playing on the Xbox and started gaining weight. I was 10 so it really wouldn't matter bc I was cute. But in middle school I still was gaining weight, I think I maxed out at 250 when I was about 14 and I was about 5 foot 7. Obviously, I got insecure and shit but I was always that funny friend so no one really pointed it out bc I self depreciated. But what really made me fucked was that my brothers would compare themselves to me and call me fat to be funny to their friends. My stepdad also said I was fat, which, if you have a father figure not supporting or helping you, really messes you up so I would never talk to him. Although they made fun of me, I still wanted to hang out with them bc they looked up to them. So in short, all the people I looked up to bullied me. High school rolls around and I had a crush and asked her out. At this point, I was 240 and about 6 foot and I really knew how to hid it. I got rejected. That shit hurt. My freshman year, I was surrounded by popular "friends" that also made fun of me and put fuckin peanuts in my water so id have to go to the nurse every week (if i didn't get medicine within like 10 hours id go into cardiac arrest or something) so I got a new set of friends.  Sophomore year I had my eyes on two other candidates and got rejected again. Still fuckin hurts. 2 years ago my brothers have moved out and they grew up and realized that what they did was terrible, so what did they do? They let me smoke with them. Fast forward to my junior year. I was in pretty hard classes and got a little anxious because of homework and shit but did fine in classes so I didn't really have anxiety. Now I'm still hooked on this one girl I got rejected by but I'm the funny friend so I kept my sadness without showing it for 2 years and tell jokes, which took a toll on me. Exams hit and my usually childish middle-aged pre calc honors teacher (she taught us like 1st graders, she made us sing and dance to remember formulas) got really pissed at me bc I couldn't remember how to do basic algebra two days before the exam. Now I don't really know how I got Adderal but I did. It was super useful for my exams and ended up getting a 96 (highest grade in the school for that class) on the hardest exam. I then realized that I took 30mg for 3 days straight and only ate once a day for that week and had a bunch of energy. I quickly realized this is the key for my lazy ass to lose weight without working out. Starving myself. I then took 30mg over the summer every time I had the urge to stuff my face (took about 5 days for me to eat like my normal self) but I knew the only way to be healthy at the same time is to eat healthily, so I drank a smoothie for lunch (made myself wake up at around 11 so I wouldn't eat breakfast) and ate at work around 8. I work at a pizza place but I found a pretty good pizza to make so that I wouldn't feel like shit. At the same time, at the beginning of the summer, I got a dab pen. Then one of my friends who gave me addys gave me an oxycodone pill. It was fuckin great for my insecurities. I looked through the medicine cabinets and underneath my moms sink to find some. Amazingly I did because my mom got arthritis in her shoulder a couple of years ago, so I took one of those every day and smoked until I ran out like 2 weeks in, which thank god because after that I had hard withdrawals even when I didn't have that many for that long. Although, I still smoked every day. If I took them for maybe 2 more weeks, I would've been fucked. Shortly after that, I couldn't get my hands on Adderall but since I took them for about 2 months my stomach decreased in size A LOT. But I still wanted to lose more weight, I wanted to get under 200, so I would put myself in situations where I couldn't eat or didn't have time. Two weeks ago I realized that I would lose weight but wouldn't workout throughout the summer. I came to the realization that I was not only losing fat but muscle as well. When I was a kid, I had broad shoulders and pretty muscular from fighting. So I started working out and drinking smoothies with good workout shit in it, but the problem with that is that I still want to be under 200. I'm currently 208, working out mostly once a day, sometimes twice. I've weighed my self about 2 times a week and been 208 ever since I started working out. I've lost about 30 pounds and honestly don't regret the way I did it even it's probably terrible for me to do that. I lost some fat in my face so my cheeks and chin look more defined making me look better as well as losing a lot of fat in my stomach and chest that none of my shirts fit me and my chest doesn't poke out in XL shirts (they did when I was in 2XL shirts). Overall I've lost all my insecurities about being fat and am currently talking to a cute girl that's 2 years older than me. Since I've lost 30 pounds I've seen some of my friends from school who didn't know I lost that weight and are so proud of me. My brothers have also congratulated me and supported me which really meant a lot. My ass hole stepdad also did and I'm now actually forgiving him for all the mental abuse that he has caused. I realized that I haven't given the necessary family details including my dad, stepdad and my oldest brother and I will write them at a later date because I spent 4 fucking hours doing this one.

#personal

[kpop-au-s]

GOT7 (high school boys)

description: boys as highschoolers

warnings: none

author: etoiles

Jackson

-definitely the athletic kid everyone knows or knows about

-seems like a fuckboy by the way he dresses

-but is actually the biggest sweetheart to exist

-girls and guys fawn over him on a daily basis

-he thinks they’re just being nice

-average grades except L.A.

-amazing in language arts (L.A.)

-gives his lunch away to the students that can’t afford it

-that looks like it if you’ve seen him enough

-but if you’ve seen him once or twice

-he looks arrogant

-teachers favorite

-and if a teacher doesn’t like him

-by the end of the year they do

-social fucking butterfly

-tries to be and is friends with everyone

Jaebum

-“bad boy”

-bitch he a fuckin nerd okay

-leather and black pants and piercings the whole nine yards

-his backpack is full of books that have nothing to do with any of his classes

-like cats and the inevitability of an afterlife

-plays D&D

-probably needs glasses but doesn’t wear them

-drives a pitch black car

-girls also fawn over him

-awkward as hell

-can’t speak to a girl that comes up to him for his life

-brings homemade lunch

-dabbles in tennis and track

-not actually on the teams he’s just seen on the sidelines a lot

-has a select few friends he really trusts

-doesn’t talk to many people outside that circle

Jinyoung

-soft boy

-quiet

-get to know him and he roasts you for the first five minutes

-in his head to himself tho

-always in a sweater his hair is usually messy

-library is prime Jinyoung real-estate

-highest grades

-school rank is 1 or 2

-Dad joke #1

-never seen studying until a day before big test

-doesn’t do sports

-sits on the sidelines and cheers for his buds (with Youngjae and BamBam who is too loud 90% of the time)

-doesn’t talk to anyone outside his inner circle except a select few he’s deemed worthy

-small backpack with almost nothing in it

-loud shoes

Mark

-seems quiet

-can be heard laughing from the back of the class

-jackson and Jinyoung are his besties

-talks to the people he’s grown comfortable speaking to

-random outbursts of words at idiotic people

-“wow” “omg” “whAt”

-can be seen rolling his eyes or judging people 26/9

-ramen

-every day for lunch

-multiple at a time

-teases jackson when he has spicy ramen

-soft and bad boy at the same time

-baseball

-catcher and shortstop

-dyed his hair red one time and everyone fucking died

-then he went blonde and everyone fucking died again

-and then it was gray and everyone fucking died

Youngjae

-loud boy

-laughter 25/8

-never seen without another member of group

-cucumbers make him gag

-jaebum brought them for lunch once

-he sat at your table (that’s how you get pulled in)

-Dad jokes #2

-drama kid

-helps with the lights and has been on stage for a total of 10 minutes for 3 years

-kicks BamBam out when he’s being annoying

-has two tattoos

-of which most people know about but ignore

-“softest boy in the whole school”

-everyone wants to hug him

-if he’s not laughing something is wrong

-everyone will fight for him

BamBam

-everyone will fight him

-meme kid (along with Yugyeom)

-drama and fashion

-been on stage a total of 400 hours out of 2 years

-helps Youngjae with lights

-okay grades

-sucks at history

-knows everyone and is their friend whether they like it or not

-“bad boy” i think the fuck not

-hair color never stays the same for more than two months

-always dressed to the nines with new lines of clothing from new seasons

-gets a ride from jaebum every day

-can be seen getting death glares from Jinyoung and Jaebum every second of the day

-Yugyeom bestie

-laughing non stop

Yugyeom

-meme kid

-cutie

-baby of the school

-hot guy

-dance kid

-never seen not tapping his foot

-can be seen swaying in his seat during class, lunch, and gym

-lanky clumsy mess

-blinding smile

-teases his hyungs nonstop

-seen being pushed off short ledges by Jinyoung

-uh gifts show up in his locker a lot

-fan club

-lots of friends

-“I have a girlfriend she doesn’t go to this school” ironically

#got7 #got7 imagines #jackson wang imagines #jackson wang #got7 au #im jaebum imagines #im jaebum #jinyoung imagines #jinyoung #yugyeom imagines #yugyeom #bambam imagines #bambam #youngjae #youngjae imagines #mark tuan imagines #mark tuan #got7 mark #got7 jackson #got7 jaebum #got7 jinyoung #got7 bambam #got7 yugyeom #got7 youngjae

[pog-with-a-blog]

So like the accents in my canadian french playlist are so strong i literally can’t understand them sometimes (tu veh vwah / jeh peux lah fah / jeh teh vwah) and like. I speak french well enough to not understand someone because of their accent, not because I just don’t speak it well enough. C’est fuckin génial

#mp #mostly it's fine but sometimes #also that makes me feel so much better about not understanding alot of the french i heard when i visited canada #also canadian french is SO much less pretentious than french #it's like fuck your grammar #fuck your fancy french #fuck your argent #our money is bacon #and we pronounce je me te like that annoying girl from french one who needed to get her shit together #(the one who said je with the same vowel as pen not the same vowel as day) #(jay girl was a whole new level of annoying she belongs in heck) #(along with god dammit I'm rambling) #(along with the fucking bitch who pronounces un like une but not nasally) #(i know that was a less universal problem but fuck her) #(she also pronounced huit ad reet and oui as ree) #(all because our teacher had an accent and there was a sliiiight r sound at the beginning of those words) #(but 1. it was not NEARLY that strong and 2. everyone else was smart enough to know that was just a ms shipman thing) #(she was that same fuckin bitch who was like «I have the highest grade in the class so that means I'm the smartest person here») #(like bitch you still pronounce the -ent sit down) #/rant

[itsjayyyy]

September 18, 2018 4:53 pm

wow since it’s been a few days since an update, I had a lot of things to open this entry with, but of course only one topic can be the first i talk about. so, the most recent one: I was just laying in bed thinking about how I need to study for my bio exam tomorrow and also complete the next two modules for econ, but then I realized it’s tuesday and econ hw is due monday nights, and freaked out. I literally went through all five stages of grief, before I was like “it’s okay, it’s only the homework, the exam will pull my grade up” and opened my laptop to start reading for bio. but then I checked econ and apparently because there’s an exam this week, there wasn’t any homework due so HOLLA.

so this past weekend has been annoying, as always. I was at ioa for friday, but we only had three workers total (we normally have 6) for closing, so it was hell trying to close on time. and then saturday I went to usf, which is always hell. not to mention, hhn started so we had to spend an hour cleaning so the night crew would be set. and at the end of my shift, the usf manager has the nerve to say to me that she wants me to pick up some shifts this week. I tell her that I have four exams, and I’ll have to check my schedule, but she says “oh but your availability says you’re free after 4 on tuesdays, thursdays, and fridays” what the fuck!!!!!! don’t go looking at my availability when I’m not your employee!!!!!!! so I kept saying I had to study, I had to see, two of my exams are online, etc and she kept pushing for me to at least take shifts on friday afternoon and saturday, since I should be done with exams by then. I took the saturday shift because by this point my shift ended a minute ago and I wanted to leave, and told her I’d call her to let her know if I can take friday (I won’t.) SO SUNDAY I walk in to ioa (home sweet home), and we have a new coworker!!! And by new I mean he used to work at usf but transferred here permanently. What. “Oh jay we send you to usf because they’re understaffed and we’re overstaffed.” Okay. So I tell my manager that they’re stupid for accepting MORE workers when we have that issue, and she has the audacity to say to my face “oh it’s more than that, he didn’t like it at usf” as if I haven’t spent the last two months telling both ioa and usf managers that I hate usf. Okay. So Sunday, when I next work at ioa, I’m going to speak to my highest manager and tell her that she either tells the scheduler that I am not to work at usf again, or I quit. I have enough money in my savings account to last me a while.

wow. rose deadass drank 6 apple juice boxes out of the 8-pack we had. this bitch clearly doesn’t care if I starve huh.

so yesterday I met up with heather after class in the student union. did I mention how much I love cafe bustelo? I really love it. a good cafe con leche really warms me up. we talked for a while, then I walked her to class. In our conversation, our birthdays came up at some point (I think I said something along the lines of “you didn’t get me anything for my birthday this year! and she said “you didn’t get me anything either!”) and I was like “I bet you don’t even know my birthday” and she said april 22nd. and then later she was like yea well I bet you don’t know mine and i immediately said march 19, so she said she’d buy me starbucks today to make up for it.

today’s morning was really gr8 and also really un-gr8. like, I woke up at 7 thinking I had to leave the house at 8:30 for my ortho appt, and laid in bed for a while before finally getting up and showering. but when I stepped out of the shower and saw the time was 8, I realized that I didn’t leave the house at 8:30, my appointment was at 8:30. cue getting dressed while still partially damp, forgetting heather’s gov’t textbook, and going 75 in a 45 zone. I thank the gods daily that motorcycles don’t get red light tickets.

while driving down the main road leading to my university, I had this white car weaving between traffic. at one point he was behind me, but then when I slowed down in a turn he switched to the right, which ended up being right behind a campus shuttle (you know, the ones that drive 5 mph under the speed limit at all times and you can barely see around. and they’re diesel, ugh!). as he saw me speed up at the end of the curve, he switched back to behind me and sped up too, but as soon as I reached level with the front of the shuttle (and the pickup on the other side of me), I slammed on my brakes so he couldn’t try to go around. Definitely risked getting run the fuck over, but it was so worth it seeing the look of frustration on his face.

I got nearly instant karma, though, because he entered the university through the first turn, when I went for the second a little ways up since it’s closer to my garage. but the traffic light was down, so I had to merge into one lane with everyone else, and then they wouldn’t even allow left turns because it’s too complex for the person directing traffic, so I had to make a right then a u-turn. But it was made up for by the fact that the trike that normally parks in my spot was probably also deterred by the traffic, and I got to claim my righteous spot.

so when I got on campus, I went to heather’s class, or rather, the building it was in since I couldn’t find room 106 exactly. I remembered that my annoying coworker said that her classes were in that building + the one next to it also on tuesdays, but I thought that there was no way I’d actually bump into her considering there are over 60,000 students and the buildings are pretty large, plus I didn’t know what time her classes are.

well, now I know that her class gets out at the same time + same building as heather. we walked towards the starbucks (which is near her next class), and I introduced her to heather, we talked about how it was to work at universal, the sort. and then she was like “well I gotta go to class now, bye!” and i was like bye and smiled and when she was more than 20 feet away I turned to heather and said “that’s the coworker I told you that I hate.”

I love pumpkin spice season!!!!!!!! got a frappuccino tho, because it’s never truly fall in florida. heather got a mango dragonfruit refresher bc I recommended it to her, and it’s funny because the person ordering before us was also named heather and also ordered a mango dragonfruit. As a barista, that’s like my worst nightmare. Luckily they were able to tell it apart because the other heather got a grande. We sat in the starbucks for a while, I explained how weed is a lot more safe than cigarettes, talked about pine hills’ reputation, and how samantha’s mom is so damn disrespectful. This woman drove heather home one day when picking up samantha, and the whole ride was bragging about how samantha was going to be so successful because she’s majoring in some type of psychology and will be making over 90k a year. and then she turned the conversation to how teachers don’t make that much money, and she asks heather how she could do that, just take such a low-paying job. and lemme tell ya how MY GIRL HEATHER FUCKIN SNAPPED. she done said she tired of people saying teachers don’t make a lot of money yall. she said to samantha’s mom, “I don’t know how you’re looking down on my salary when you have three children from three different men with only a salary of $30k.” Y’ALL. the point that heather was trying to make the point that “people from working-class families act as if a salary less than 100k is unacceptable even for an unmarried, childless young adult despite working class families often having a household income of 50k while supporting children just fine,” but damn she really went there. goin off on this good catholic woman for having baby daddies. well samantha’s mom and samantha became very upset. and they told heather’s dad who would not leave her alone until she apologized. as in, he was banging on her door telling her she had to apologize. I said put headphones in and ignore it, she was like “girl you don’t understand haitian parents. my dad literally opened my door with a knife when I locked it.” so she had to apologize :/ but she also made it clear that she didn’t like the way samantha’s mom disrespected her. she tried to make it seem relatable, and be like, “oh what if i said that to your mom, wouldn’t you tell me to apologize” and I’m like???? no???? I would make my mom apologize for being disrespectful first the hell??? then I reminded her about how I literally lived on the streets for 3 weeks because my mom was disrespectful to me.

today after class I decided to take the city bus home, for 4 reasons: I wanted to stay humble and remember where I came from, I wanted time to be able to finish this book, not walking the last half-mile home every day this semester has caused some weight gain, and I really wanted to hold my parking spot against that damn trike, and it seems he comes too early in the morning for me, so I just left my bike there overnight. yea I’m petty.

The book was really good. It’s definitely a hard read, for sure. In the sense that it really will make you cry. At the end, it listed all of the school shooting victims since columbine, plus a small snippet about them (it was like 20 pages long). The one that really got me was an 8 year old, whose text read “shoot me first,” as he wanted to take a bullet so it wouldn’t be used against his classmates. Then, below that entry, a seven year old, who said “shoot me next.” Just typing that is making my eyes water again.

The walk home was super tiring. I’m super out of shape, it was hard for me to even imagine that I did this every single day the entire first semester of college. And I have to do it tomorrow morning again, ugh. Can you believe heather wakes up at 5:30 am???? I’m never seen out of bed before 7, and even then it’s only for things like appointments. But I guess I really should start waking up earlier, because whenever I get on campus around 8 I feel great because I have so much time to study and stuff. but that means I have to buy a coffee on campus, and I don’t know if I want to commit to that expense.

edit: so I originally posted this to my main, and when I saw that I copied it, then deleted it, then tried to paste it into a new post, but I guess I didn’t press ctrl hard enough because it didn’t copy. and I was about to cry bc this is close to 2k words, but then I realized I had a tab of my main open that still had the original post showing, so I copied from there.