#ALMOST DOWN PAT

[formosusiniquis]

caught flour handed

For the @steddiemicrofic challenge Prompt: cake | WC: 311 | G | no CW A Dustin POV steddie discovery, everyone's fave

Steve has been up to something for weeks. Dustin knows the only way to find out what he’s been up to: sneak in and go through his shit. He’s calling it sneaking too, because if he knows where the key is he doesn’t think it can be called breaking and entering.

He twists the front knob slowly so it doesn’t click in the latch, even mostly deaf Steve always knows when someone’s at the door. Eddie would say crouching before he’s even through the doorway is a dead giveaway that something’s up. But what does he know?

“There are more helpful places your hands could be.” Dustin freezes in place; his hand still on the front door.

“There are less helpful places my hands could be.” That’s Eddie’s voice responding, but his van hadn’t been in the driveway.

“You’re the one that said you wanted cake.” He’s too far from the kitchen to tell, but Dustin would bet Steve has his hands on his hips.

“What if I said I actually wanted beefcake.” 

Steve can be a bit of a ditz sometimes, but Dustin can’t imagine him getting cake and that confused. What would beefcake even be, meatloaf?

“I would say you should have said something before we got up.”

“I would’ve but y’know how you get when your mind’s made up, Sweetheart.”

“No, I don’t actually. Want to share, Edmund?”

“Only that delicious cake you’re making.” Dustin can hear Eddie’s feet moving on Steve’s tile flooring. He’s creeping up on the doorway now, but has to assume based on the giggling that Eddie was moving out of smacking range.

Moving even closer, Dustin can see Steve facing the oven. Two perfect, white handprints on the ass of his jeans. “Your child is lurking,” Steve says, “do you wanna tell him what you’ve been doing to his babysitter, or should I?”

#steddie #steddiemicroficaugust #steddie microfic #honestly writing a fic this short is the hardest thing i've ever done #the geography of steve's house is a mystery known only by the duffers but steve can see the street from his kitchen window in this canon #and he watched dustin bike down the street to try to spy on him #steve said i'm not gonna come out it will be much funnier to watch the curiosity kill this cat #anyway dustin gets a piece of warm cake a pat on the head and sent off to never think about what his two favorite almost adults get up to- #-when they aren't babysitting a bunch of 15yos

[dudeyuri]

anyone else try to casually (lol) rewatch bad buddy only to get completely clobbered over the head by the fantasy sequence in ep 11 answering pat’s question in ep 6: ““Have you ever pictured what it’d be like if our parents didn’t fight?” one of the only fantasy sequences, ie the depiction of something that did not actually happen in canon, in the series? the most strategic delay of the most indulgent and heartbreaking moment that never happened and never will? the reveal that the ultimate shared fantasy between pat and pran is being openly in love and out of the closet and seated specifically at dissaya’s table with her eating the meal she made? the impossible “what if we could change the world?” appended to the tail end of their not-so-neverending honeymoon’s impossible “what if the world could change us?” one last fairytale indulgence before reality clamps down swift around them and they’re staring at each other, pran misty-eyed and tears rolling down pat’s face, in front of the gates of their respective family homes, about to put on their break up routine for their parents???? stronger and harder and braver thanks to their love and “we can’t change the world but the world can’t change us,” after they show us how soft and easy, thanks to their love, they could have been?? (tim robinson voice) has this ever happened to you??

#bad buddy #it really steals my breath away every time i’m out here gasping #it’s so unique it’s almost jarringly out of place #it’s a blip when you put it beside every other bad buddy scene #no filter and shot like any other moment except it’s in an alternate universe #not privy to what they’re saying #pran’s parents have their back to the camera #and the voiceover #the gentlest almost childlike hopeful back-and-forth of pat and pran’s wildest mundane dreams #kicks me when i'm already down!!!

[marzipanandminutiae]

me: it kind of annoys me that the new Barbie trailer claims Barbie was the first non-baby doll for children. here are some examples of ancient lady dolls, presented in a Ha Ha Funney tone

everyone in the notes: OH MY GOD JESUS CHRIST IT’S JUST A BARBIE MOVIE CALM DOWN GET A JOB NOBODY’S GOING TO BELIEVE IT ANYWAY!!!!! YOU’RE DUMB AND AWFUL AND NO-ONE CARES

(a bunch of other people in the notes: it’s true though/she was the most popular so she’s the only one that counts/wait there were adult-shaped dolls before Barbie? where?)

#dolls #personal #seriously I've gotten more vitriol for [checks notes] daring to criticize the Barbie movie than literally anything else I've done on here #'nobody's going to believe it' eh? scroll down my guy #mattel has been playing us all like a fiddle about this for decades #(fun fact: they also didn't invent dolls that can change gender with their clothes and hairstyles AKA Creatable World) #(that was almost all dolls until...oh hey the 1950s!!!! what a coincidence!!!! not like Mattel helped create a norm- gendered doll bodies) #(and now wants back pats for challenging it!!!!!)

[mightbeautistic]

really need spotify to realize that i am autistic and the only acceptable songs in my daily mixes are either:

a. ones i've already heard or

b. by artists i already know

#it's got this down PAT for my kpop and like kr&b playlists #but classic rock will be like: queen billy joel journey Random Fucking Band #like no thank you #my emo daily mix needs to consist almost entirely of the emo quartet thank you #these are real problems in my everyday life #actually autistic #neurodivergent #actually autism #just autism things #autism memes #just autistic things #autist #autistic memes #its the autism #music #spotify

[witchblade]

train outside screaming in agony like never before

#ive never heard it like that i almost want to run outside and like pat it and calm it down

[widevibratobitch]

my god. skinny people really just have like. No Idea huh just absolutely not a single clue lmao it's almost funny to watch fr but then id lie if i said i wouldn't fucking kill to be able to be that ignorant

#girl i am SO sorry people react with surprise when you say you're studying to be an opera singer because you're #*checks notes* skinny and attractive. so so sorry that must be literal hell for you huh how will you ever recover :(((( #no no please keep talking about how equally bad that is to the brutal fucking fatshaming and ED glorifying #in the industry that me and the only other fat girl in the room were talking about before you interrupted us <3 #anyway. we were talking about this one review of a quite famous professional music critic whose only comment about a fat mezzo in the cast #was 'miss xyz.... lose some weight'. not a single word about her singing/acting/whatever. but yeah no you're too sexy for an opera singer #and THAT is the real problem here girl i totally understand yeah <3 thoughts and prayers dearest. #earlier that same day this same girl was standing next to me in her bodycon dress and went #*pointing at her stomach that's so flat its almost concave* 'ughhhh what do i have to do to not look pregnant in this dress 😩😫' #and i said 'girl' and just looked at her and like the sudden horrified realisation on her face was lowkey hysterical #like omg you really did forget you're not talking to your other skinny friends with whom you can pat each other on the backs #and reassure each other that 'dw girl ur not fat at all ur so so sexy!' huh sjshsjshsjs #but yeah i dont like making people uncomfortable irl so i did reassure her she looks hot and pretty and skinny as all shit #let at least one of us have a nice evening and not feel Absolutely Fucking Disgusting ig <3 #and the day before that after i saw our (last ever btw never photographing myself with them ever again <3) picture and had a mini break down #the other even skinnier and smaller and petite-er crouched down next to me with the most guilty fucking expression and quietly asked me #if im alright and do i want her to delete those pictures (that she posted on two separate social media pages) and like #the look of immense fucking pity on her was even worse than seeing those pictures #like i know she meant well and was trying to be nice but my god. this really is how you all see me huh #like looking like me would be fate worse than death for yall #not even gonna mention the thing i just learned this friday that the retired ballerina who leads our ballet classes said about me #trying to cheer up the other fat girl who happened to have a bit of an emotional breakdown in the middle of the class :))))))) #like i am sooooooo so glad and honoured to be an inspiration to you. really. always happy to help. the exemplary Fat Girl Who Fucking Sucks #But Doesnt Let It Bother Her <333333 #like on one hand. yeah it really does make me wanna jump off a cliff. but on the other. its just hilarious sjdgsjsgsj #you sure are right miss ma'am. i sure don't let this bother me at all. i am famous for my uncanny ability to Not Be Bothered by all this <33 #but shes new. its ok. how could she know about the last two years when i was getting panic attacks and sobbing myself to sleep every tuesday #but yeah no. [lauren cooper voice] am i bovvered? am i bovvered tho? i aint even bovvered!

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

Nepeta: :33< just accidentailly said 'sensory overlord' instead of overload today in therapaw

Nepeta: :33< new neurodivergent final boss just dropped

#homestuck #incorrect homestuck quotes #nepeta leijon #mod terezi #the claws do eh damage but they have nice bleed potential and a critical multiplier which makes them somewhat viable #unfortunately they also require you to be uncomfortably close up for them to be effective and my dodge skills are not quite there yet #oh yeah i'm talking about the same dark souls 3 soul level one run #i'm almost done with it i just got gael and midir left and tbh i'm having a much easier time with gael than sister friede #but he always throws in a curveball that i don't quite catch in time #but i've gotten him down to like 15% health in the dozen tries i've done him so i'm feeling good about this state of affairs #and i've got midir pretty down pat so i think i'm doing pretty good #oh yeah i also named my character for this run feferi 38) #look i'm love her so much you guys do not get it

[thefallenangelsgang]

15 Lines Challenge

Rules: Share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture their character/personality/vibe. Bonus points for just using the dialogue without other details about the scene, but you’re free to include those as well. @fablewritesnonsense strikes again! As always, no pressure, I just really admire these lovely folk's work: @helena-bug @just-another-wasteland-merc @roystory4 @druidgroves @heylittleriotact

(I'm going to be completely honest, I'm working of off 5 incomplete scenes if I just do BG3, so I'm also going to throw in some By Any Other Name quotes. It's technically the same character from a different story. The backstories vary a little but I'm confident the character is still there. By Any Other Name quotes are marked with an asterisk * at the end)

Wynleth Reiden

“Lathander isn’t going to strike me down if I don’t stop and kneel."

“Are you stupid?”

“Of course I’m not going to kill you!”

“And I’m still not sure you are actually what I think you are or just some freak with filed teeth and a biting kink!”

“My faith is entirely a different matter.”

“I am going to drown myself in the Chionthar.”

“It is precisely because you are a depraved beast that you get the juiciest gossip.”

“Yes, good sex!”

“I was married, he died… fifty-four years ago come Mirtul?”

“I- I think I need to be alone for a bit. I need to pray. I need to do something or I’m going to fall apart.”

“Is that why I took up the role of a garden water feature when I tried to dominate it?"

“Becoming a Paladin, beginning a life in politics, was how I could take control back. I never had a connection to Lathander like you did. I didn’t find him when I lost. He was never there for me in my darkest moments. He was forced upon me because it was expected . He inundates every single one of the worst moments in my life. Because of them .” *

"Here, every second of every day is focused on the words and what they mean and it's been like that for centuries. We are like an ouroboros. The dogma is causing us to consume ourselves.” *

"You are a soldier with faith, I am a priest sent to war. They are entirely different things.” *

"I have Saints, Martyrs, Prophets, all manner of Holy Persons in my family line. I was supposed to follow in their footsteps. But I didn’t. Not totally.” *

If you would like to see more of my writing (or some of the incomplete scenes these are pulled from) check out my tag on my account #Jericho Writes

If you are a Legends of Avantris and Edge of Midnight fan, By Any Other Name is a published oneshot about the Chapter 17 memory ritual you can find on my Ao3!

#number 4 has got to be one of my favorite lines I've ever written #It's also not subtle who she is talking to lmao #At least half of the BG3 lines are pulled from conversations with Astarion lmao #hes the only one I'm 100% confident I have the character voice down pat for #Karlach is in second place #I really need to improve on everyone else #I could probably bullshit my way through The Emperor #the additions I made to his canon lines fit pretty nicely #But I have a feeling as that scene goes on I'm gonna get lost #Anyways peep the line from the sex talk (number 8) #Astarion accuses her of never having good sex which... fair #But the girl was married for 50 years in a long distance relationship #to a sailor of all people #She might not be overly interested in sex but your lying to yourself if you think that shit wasn't wild #Almost all of the By Any Other Name lines are Wynleth arguing with Marius cause that was the conceit of the whole Oneshot for me #Them finally fighting out their differences about faith #MMMMMM Wynleth is how I deal with my religious trauma if you can't tell #tag game #legends of avantris #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #baldur's gate iii #loa #edge of midnight #eom #Jericho Writes

[dutybcrne]

Tall and muscled as he is, Alhaitham still does very much like being held and doted on. Guaranteed that if a partner or even a friend indulges him in it, they will quickly become a favorite person and be sought out frequently for affection.

#hc; alhaitham #//His favorite way is straddling them while they're lounging on the couch and burying his face in their chest or; more often; shoulder #//9/10 would end up dozing off right then and there; if not will talk to them via almost pouty-sounding mumbles #//Loves to do that esp after a particularly hectic day at the Akademiya; bonus if they pat his head or comb through his hair during #//WILL get a lil fussy & bratty if they try to pry him off 'too soon'. Like Miette; except it a 6'+ grown man clinging for dear life djrgdg #//He is ridiculously cute and affectionate sometimes; but you've gotta put the Work in to get his trust/comfort to that extent #//He is very favoring to headpats in general; tbh #//They make him feel so happy and accomplished #//Give him a headpat ONCE; and he WILL keep coming back for the affirmation after completing tasks #//Assuming the person is someone he's close/comfortable with or like. Nahida herself #//Just rolls up and Staaarres with Big ol' cat eyes & incline his head a bit; talking up all he got done #//Then after a bit say he would like compensation for his completed tasks. Will affirm he's serious is asked; then drop it if not conceded #//Very much disappointed; for certain. And it WILL show in his work ethic for the rest of the day #//Idk; rlly loving the idea of this big boi being so down bad for affection for smaller partners/friends #//Tenderly hold the tol man; he will adore you forever #//Tldr; Mans is just a big ol cat mdbgj #//He likes to reciprocate it too; the INSTANT he realizes his partner likes/needs physical affection; he WILL indulge every chance he gets

[negrowhat]

Damn Pat might have devoured Jeng in the car if they hadn't accidentally honked the horn.

#that was the universe telling them to calm down lol #i've never seen pat so..............hands on #wild #how crazy was that thigh grab? #pat was almost in that man's lap bro #step by step #jengpat

[marsbars1714]

Listening to music in a language you are trying to learn is fucking awesome because like. I logically know a rough translation of what I’m listening to

BUT

I am actively trying to translate it in my head while listening to it and I’m getting stupidly funny little snippets

“The sun.. it (they? she? why are they the same word??).. not night” what does this mean without the rough translation? Absolutely nothing to me

What does it mean with the rough translation I have? “The sun is (doing something. what is the sun doing??).. It will not set tonight”

Maybe. Potentially. I might be wrong 🤷‍♂️

#I’m listening to Sonne and trying my hardest to make the lyrics make sense but I’m almost definitely messing up in some places and it’s just #it’s just funny man #because some of these words I’ve got down pat and then others are pure confusion #and there’s probably certain phrases that are like. metaphors or whatever #things that aren’t supposed to be translated literally yknow #but I am incapable of translating it in any way other than literally because I don’t know how to metaphorically translate any of it #I’m probably missing out on some silly goofy metaphorical translations #but I will learn them eventually

[fragmentedblade]

.

#Honestly don't get people who follow me here and even less so that interact semi steadily with my posts #I literally don't follow myself on this sideblog lol #Thanks though. It feels a bit validating haha #I feel my overall opinions are so unpopular in the general fandom that I never end up writing them down for safekeeping #because I would want to find them in my own blog but with tumblr's tagging system that would mean them potentially reaching other people #and thus potentially getting blocked by blogs‚ and as a consequence not getting to see many posts I would love #So yeah it feels like a cordial *pat pat* at times #I am never really insecure at all about my reading capabilities because that's my whole thing but it does feel lonely somewhat #and makes one wonder about some things like whether something is escaping me or if really that's the state of things out there #And lonely even in the mere appreciation of dynamics‚concepts‚ characters‚ motifs‚...that are often dismissed almost entirely by the fandom #This post and this rambling has no telos really #Just how baffling I find to have people follow this blog and even like my posts #And how baffling too the realisation that it can be kind of sweet #Like that line of Benedick '(...) is not that strange?' and Beatrice's reply 'As strange as' #I reread that play yesterday night and truly that line is amazing. One of the love confessions of all time. I love their dynamic #And still is the active/passive roles linked to gender‚ bastardy and the assertion of one's existence and life #in the characters of Hero and don John which always obsess me the most about it #Ahfksjkd but I'm rambling again. If anywhere at all I should write those thoughts on my main blog. Definitely not here #I talk too much #As usual #I should probably delete this later #How do I always end up rambling and about things barely or straight up absolutely unrelated to the initial topic? Ugh #I can't even begin to tell how annoying I am in my first language

[irafuwas]

pics from today's walk 🌿

#misc #do you guys remember that episode of spongebob where sandy has to leave town and she asks spongebob and pat to housesit #and they're like ok sure bitch so they go to her place and take care of her pets and they come across what looks like a worm #but its actually a caterpillar and it eventually turns into a butterfly and it like burns down bikini bottom #and they would keep showing those really scary close up shots of the butterfly!?? #that episode came out when i was like 5 years old and the butterfly close up shots scared me SO bad #i hated butterflies for years and would run away whenever they chased me #anyways so today that old fear kind of resurfaced #i got chased by butterflies i had to run through clouds of mosquitoes and swarms of dragonflies #i got harassed by a tarantula hawk (if u dont know what those are and are scared of bugs pls dont google it) #when i went to use the potty by the trails guess what i didn't notice was in the stall w/ me until i had my damn pants around my ankles!! #a WASP #yes im almost 30 and i still say “potty” shut the hell up #anyways that's my story