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an-aroaces-harem · 1 month

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Ivy Chapter 9

DISCLAIMER: I just deepl and google translated my way through this because I wanted to know what’s going on, so there are definitely mistakes but I believe I managed the general gist of the story. Anyway, it’s just a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes. Morganatic Idol belongs to Cybird and ABC Frontier, Inc.

Rina: That's it.

I finished cleaning the room and exhaled.

(I've been able to get it done in a lot less time than in the beginning.)

This is thanks to time I have spent helping Ivy-san.

As soon as I think of that ... what happened at that meeting a few days ago comes to my mind again.

--flashback--

Ivy: We get along, sure, but it isn’t like that.

Ivy: Kawanaga-san thinks of me like a big brother.

Ivy: For me, she’s like a cute little sister.

--flashback end--

Rina: ... like a sister

(Not so long ago, I didn't mind being treated like that by Ivy-san.)

In fact, I was even glad to be familiar with him.

And yet, now that I'm aware of my feelings for him, it hurts so much.

(... stop. It's no use thinking about it. I need to focus on what I can do instead.)

I shake my head to shake off the sinking feeling.

(Well, I'll have to look into exe again today.)

(I've been spending a lot of time helping out for a while now and haven't gotten around to doing the research for the presentation ...)

With that in mind, I was looking for materials and found a CD stuffed into a box at the back of a shelf.

It appears to be a CD with sound data burned into it, and the title is written on the label of the case.

(It doesn't seem to be the name of an exe song. Let's give it a listen.)

I'm also allowed to use the room's audio when researching.

I immediately started playing it, and what I heard was Ivy-san's singing voice.

The direction is completely different from the cool, tension-filled songs of today's exe.

(But it's warm and gentle and fits Ivy-san's voice tremendously. It's a lovely song.)

... As I was listening to the music, the door of the room suddenly opened.

I turned around to see if Ivy-san had returned.

Hitaki-san was there.

Hitaki: Hey, you were there too.

Rina: Is there a problem, Hitaki-san?

Hitaki: I'm here to borrow some materials. Ivy-san told me it's fine.

When Hitaki-san entered the room, he seemed to notice the music playing in the room.

Hitaki: ... Oh, I know I've heard this somewhere before. This is an R2R song.

'R2R' ... I remember when I looked up exe during the presentation, that name came up.

Rina: I think that's the music unit that Ivy-san had before exe, isn't it?

Hitaki: Yes, it was a unit formed by Ivy-san and Eito-san. This is a hit song from that time.

Hitaki: I'm sure it quite well domestically, but by the looks of it, you don't know?

Rina: Yes ... I wasn't really into music.

Rina: I've only seen a few names when I looked up exe, but I don't know much about it.

Hitaki: If you're interested, I can tell you what I know.

Rina: I'd love to!

Hitaki: That's quite a quick answer. Do you want to know so much about Ivy-san?

Rina: What!? That's not why ...

Hitaki: Hmm, just kidding.

Hitaki: As I mentioned earlier, R2R is a duo unit consisting of Eito-san and Ivy-san.

Hitaki: He was very popular among young people because of his consistent singing ability and high level of music.

Rina: Certainly, it's a great song, too.

Rina: The atmosphere is quite different from that of today's exe.

Hitaki: R2R's songs are more melody-driven than exe's songs which are more rhythm-driven.

Hitaki: I heard that Ivy-san is writing the music now, but back then he and Eito-san were working on it together.

Hitaki: I guess the unit changed, and so did his musicality.

(I see what you mean. Maybe that's one of those things ...)

Hitaki: R2R was expected to go global, but ... the results didn't go well.

Hitaki: No matter how popular they were in Japan, they weren't accepted overseas.

Rina: ... I see.

(It's a really tough world ... after all those great songs.)

Hitaki: That's why Eito-san used his experience to start Aero Light Productions.

Hitaki: He's trying to raise the bar in the japanese music industry and create a group that can compete on a global level.

Rina: I see ...

I had heard that Sakura-san was a former musician, but I had no idea he had such deep thoughts.

And I didn't know that Ivy-san had a bitter experience of losing in front of the world's wall.

(Somehow I find that hard to believe, even though Ivy-san is now very active as an exe member.)

(I'm sure it must have been very frustrating and painful ...)

Hitaki: ... what are you thinking about? Maybe about Ivy-san?

Rina: Yes ... it is truly amazing that he has overcome so many setbacks and is doing so well.

Rina: I can't even imagine how much effort he had to put in to acquire the skills necessary to compete on the world stage.

Hitaki: That's right ... fufu, you're really all about Ivy-san. I'm a little jealous.

Rina: Eh?

Then I finally realized that Hitaki-san and I were getting awfully close.

Rina: U-uh ...?

Hitaki: Ah, sorry. I just thought it was kind of cute how you were trying so hard to care for Ivy-san.

Hitaki: I'd like to get a better look at that face.

With a sweet smile, Hitaki-san peeked at me.

Rina: I don't think I'm cute ...

(So close to my face ...!)

As I try to keep my distance, a large palm is placed on my shoulder.

Hitaki: Don't run away. I just want to talk to you more.

My resistance was suppressed and I was pulled towards Hitaki-san with a strong force.

Rina: Talk to me about what?

Hitaki: Remember what I said at our meeting the other day, that I wanted you to help me with Gem, not exe?

Rina: I remember. But I turned that down at the time, didn't I?

As I tried to turn away from his approaching face, Hitaki-san's palm gently touched my cheek.

The coolness of the air makes me shiver.

Hitaki: Would you please think about it again? I just can't give up.

Rina: Why are you so ...? I don't think Gem needs me.

Hitaki: You underestimate yourself. Your power is a wonderful thing.

Hitaki: In fact, the exe members were happy to see how well you did, weren't they?

Rina: B-but I ...

Hitaki: I know. You did your best for Ivy-san.

Hitaki: What's so special about Ivy-san?

Rina: !!

I froze at his words and looked up at him, stunned. Hitaki-san's smile deepened as his eyes seemed to see through everything.

Hitaki: ... you think of him like a big brother? I know you can count on him to be kind to you.

Rina: Y-yes ... I ...

... I feel like I have to affirm it, but my voice is stuck in my throat and won't come out.

Hitaki: Ivy-san also said that he thinks of you as a sister.

Rina: ...

Hitaki: It's a wonderful relationship, isn't it? ... But, really, is that enough for you?

Hitaki-san's hand was holding my shoulder, but before I knew it, it was around my waist.

A palm slides across my cheek, making me look up as I try to turn away.

Rina: Please let go of me ...

Hitaki: ... You should go to Gem. It would make you happier.

He was drawing closer.

Hitaki: I value your ability and would be willing to do great work with you if you would become a Gem exclusive.

Hitaki: I know we will be irreplaceable partners, both publicly and privately.

Rina: But I'm ...

Hitaki: And I don't think you're a little sister. You're very pretty and attractive woman who can be desperate for someone.

Hitaki: I'm not going to make you feel lonely by treating you like a child.

Rina: ...

The gently whispered words seemed to contain some kind of magical power.

Just as Hitaki-san's air was about to consume me ... the door to the room opened.

Ivy: Kawanaga-san ... and Hitaki?

When Ivy-san comes into the room, his eyes widen and he looks at me and Hitaki-san.

Rina: Ivy-san ...

My head cooled down at once. Quickly, I shake off Hitaki-san's hand and move away.

Rina: ...

I felt like I had to say something, but I was to upset to speak.

Ivy: ... You look pale. Calm down.

Seeing me, he lowered his eyebrows in concern.

(What should I do? I can't believe Ivy-san saw me in that position ...!)

Hitaki: Welcome back, Ivy-san. You're back earlier than I expected.

Ivy: I got the job done smoothly.

Ivy: I know Kawanaga-san is cleaning ... but what are you doing here?

Hitaki: I came to borrow some materials. Then I ran into her by chance and we had a little chat.

Hitaki: Right?

Rina: Y-yes ...

That's certainly not wrong.

But after being so close to him like that, and after he whispered those words to me ... I felt guilty for some reason.

(I know you saw me earlier, Ivy-san. I hope he didn't think I was weird.)

(Or do you think I'm just like a little sister and don't care ...?)

I can't look at Ivy-san's face.

What Hitaki-san said to me earlier is going through my mind.

Rina: ... and I'm done cleaning for the day.

Rina: Excuse me!

I was so frustrated that I ran away from the place.

Hitaki: Oh, she got away. Fufu ... She's really funny.

Hitaki: She's as honest as a puppy. Her expression changes from one moment to the next, and she's easy to read.

Hitaki: I can see why Ivy-san adores her.

Ivy: Hitaki ... Don't mess with Kawanaga-san as a joke.

Ivy: She's so pure. She's working so hard in an environment she's not used to.

Hitaki: I'm not kidding ...

Hitaki: Does that mean I can ask you a question if I'm not joking?

Ivy: What?

Hitaki: As she's a housekeeper, you're in charge of her, and you spend the most time together.

Hitaki: My connection to her is certainly tenous by comparison.

Ivy: Ah. So get to the point ...

Hitaki: But that doesn't matter. I like her.

Ivy: What did you say?

Hitaki: I recognize her abilities and understand her feelings ... much more than you do.

Ivy: ... What does that mean?

Hitaki: I mean it as it is ... If you're going to be like that forever, I'll take her.

Ivy: ...

Hitaki: ... Sometimes the most precious things that we take for granted can suddenly disappear one day.

Hitaki: Please be careful.

Ivy: !

Hitaki: ... then I'll be off. Excuse me.

Aloof, Hitaki walked out of the room.

The remaining Ivy stands alone, wide-eyed and stunned.

Ivy: ... The important things we take for granted will cease to be ...

He mutters in a small voice and turns around.

Ivy: ...

What are those eyes, shaking with pain, reflecting?

No one else knew about it.

#morganatic idol #morudoru #morudoru ivy #resa translates something for once?

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peach-and-bugs · 1 year

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🪶Alma LeFay Peregrine SFW Alphabet🪶

Fanfiction master list

disclaimer: don't repost my work. I only post on Tumblr and on Ao3. anything else is stolen and should be removed immediately

Warnings: very mind angst but nothing serious

Word Count: 3,185

A/N: well, it's been a minute. I'll be honest, I haven't been writing much, but I want to. so I thought I'd fill out some safe-for-work alphabets as well as some NSFW alphabets and honestly, it's pretty fun! it's helped me to characterize some of the characters I work with to my liking and even inspires some longer fic ideas.

but here we have Alma, who's actually been my number-one comfort character for a while now. I'm surprised I haven't written for her yet. but now I've got some ideas based on this, so we'll see what comes of it! As always, feel free to leave questions or comments in my comments or ask box, and happy reading!🪶

Alma LeFay Peregrine Tag List:

General Tag List: @summergeezburr

-🪶-

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Alma isn't the most visibly affectionate, but that doesn't mean that she isn’t affectionate. She’s just more subtle about it. She doesn’t do anything very visible in front of the children, not because she’s ashamed of you or your relationship, but rather because she doesn’t want to deal with all of the giggling, gossip, and dramatics that’s sure to follow whenever the little ones see any form of PDA. And the children are well aware of your relationship status and view you as a second parental figure. Alma prefers to take your hand on walks and lean against your shoulder, kiss your knuckles or your cheek when the children and spend quality time together cooking dinner.

But when you get your alone time, she’s all over you. Quality time and physical touch are her preferred ways of feeling loved by you. If she’s reading with you in bed, she’d going to be leaning against you and she’d be quite clingy in her sleep.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

You’d initially be colleges, but you were also former students at the academy together. You probably weren't friends in your younger years, but you definitely knew each other well enough and got along amicably. When you were sent to assist in Alma’s loop, she would have had some trouble adjusting as the implication she needed help would be mildly insulting, but eventually, you grew on her and she’d come to enjoy your company, even seeking it out when she got a moment to herself while the children where occupied.

Your friendship again would be quiet, starting as simply enjoying being in the same space as one another, but it would slowly turn into a conversation, which blooms into a warm friendship.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Alma is quite touchy when you're alone. She loved curling up in bed with you after a long day of caring for the kids, and she’s quite fond of skin-to-skin contact. I imagine she also gets cold easily and loves curling up under thick blankets with her partner to keep warm. But don’t let the children see- they wouldn’t be able to stop talking about seeing their headmistress so soft for weeks!

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Alma is quite fond of domesticity, given that her job is being a caregiver and raising the “young” of her species. She loves cooking and often makes quite extravagant meals, but isn’t the fondest of cleaning. But that’s alright! She can always ask you or one of the children to do that if she feels inclined. She loves her duties, but still values the time to herself to read the mail or catch up on a new book when she can.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Alma would already be so particular about her partner, it’s hard to imagine she’d start a relationship with someone who she could see herself breaking up with. I think the only instance would be to protect you and/or her children. If she knows something is on its way to harm you, and sending you away is the only thing that will keep you safe, she knows breaking things off will be the only way you’ll leave the island.

She’d be gentle, but firm, and oh how it would hurt. It would hurt her the entire time, but she wouldn’t show it. Not till she knows you’re gone and she’s out of sight of prying eyes.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quickly would they want to get married?)

I don't think a formal ceremony or any kind of paperwork would be necessary as long as you promise that she’s yours and you're hers. I think she’d like a ring, but again, it wouldn’t be a priority. It would take some time though before she got to that point.

Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if one day she just started calling you her wife/husband/spouse without any kind of forewarning, as though that’s how she’d always referred to you. When asked why she’d shrug and just say that it felt right and she liked it

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Despite her rather quick, birdlike mannerisms, Alma is incredibly gentle, mostly because she works with children, but also because she cares. Gentleness is quite surprising, but the tenderness that comes with it is perfect. She holds you like your glass that will shatter at her touch, and you often have to remind her that you won’t break.

Emotionally, Alma puts up a good front, and for the most part, she’s quite tolerant. It takes a lot to hurt Alma, but when she is hurt, the recovery takes time. In that instant, she shuts down and throws herself into her work, ignoring any and all things that have wounded her.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

She loves hugs from her children, especially when the little ones wrap their arms wound her knees and squeeze as hard as they can. But her hugs with her kids and with you are two very different things. Hugs with the kids are soft and fun, often lifts them off the ground to make them laugh as much as she can.

But with you, hugs can be rarer and when you get one, they’re consuming and holding like she’s trying to make sure you’re all there. Often you have to squeeze her tighter, making sure she knows she’s got you and you aren't going to disappear from between her hands. You've found that resting your head on her shoulder and kissing her neck help relax her once more when she gets this way.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Much like when she starts calling you her wife/husband/spouse, it's offhand and without warning, like she hasn’t thought about it. She doesn’t vocalize this kind of affection often, preferring to show rather than tell. But it’s so nice when she does say it.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Alma doesn't think she’s the jealous type, because what does she have to be jealous about? She’s confident in her relationship and your loyalty to one another, after all. (right?) the Ymbryne would never admit it, not even to herself, but she is definitely the jealous type. Not because she thinks you’ll leave her for someone else, but because she worries she doesn’t give you as much as you deserve, and maybe she’d keeping you from someone who can do better than she can.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Besides your lips, because we know she loves those, Alma loves kissing your forehead/hairline, your palm, and knuckles as well as your jaw, but that’s only when she knows no one’s looking.

On her, she loves when you give her quick kisses on the cheek before running off with the children, though she won't let you know that. But she also adores it when you kiss her fingertips and her collarbones during more intimate settings. She also loves when you kiss the bridge of her nose.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Obviously, she’s good with kids. That’s her whole job after all. She’s rather strict, but she’s got that warm and soft part of her that’s actually quite closer to the surface than you might imagine. She keeps every little drawing or gift that the children give her, tucked away in your bedroom for safekeeping.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Alma’s definitely the early bird, which you love to tease her about. But when she has the time she loves staying in bed, wrapped up in warm sheets with you. She loves the sleepy look on your face when you wake up to her staring, again. And she loves it when you absently stretch out as you wake up, but cling to her skin. Lazy mornings, though thin and far between, are some of the most treasured memories that she has with you

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Alma loves ending her evenings with a nice warm bath (sometimes together), a cup of tea, and reading a good book. Sometimes, she reads out loud to you, mostly when either of you can't sleep. She often falls asleep after you. She likes watching your slow breathing for a moment before also nodding off.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Like most other interactions, Alma reveals facts about herself seemingly out of nowhere, though it's still at relevant times. To you, it's a surprise, but to her, she’s been thinking about telling you and now just feels like the right time. At some point, you get used to her intermittent fun facts popping up in conversation, but it's quite a shock at first.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

She’s built up a really good tolerance for most things since she’s a mother, so she doesn't get mad very often. But she can get annoyed, which might as well be just as bad. You used to annoy her quite often when you first were getting to know each other (in reality she was growing to like you and she panicked, which caused her to purposely avoid you, which is something she also does when she’s annoyed, but she won't tell you that).

Over time she’s gotten much better at communication and telling her how you feel if she happens to get irritated with something. She’s quite surprised when you work to accommodate these feelings, which you tell her she shouldn't be, since that’s your job as partners, and you do the same with her if you're the one annoyed.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing or do they kind of forget everything?)

Alma remembers absolutely everything you tell her. She even goes as far as to write it all down in her diary. With every day being the same, any new bit of information is worth holding onto.

She left her diary open to a page dedicated to little tidbits all about you out on her stationary once when you were tidying her room (before you were officially anything) and when she walked in the room and caught you reading you were both quite embarrassed for different reasons. You thought she would be upset with you invading her privacy and reading the book, which you profusely apologized for, but she was worried you'd find it strange she had been writing down nearly everything she’d learned about you in the first place. She relaxed significantly when you sheepishly admitted you found it quite flattering.

Sometimes before bed, Alma reads through her diary. Not to remember or memorize, necessarily, but more to mull over the past and think of how much everyone in her little family has grown.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Alma’s favorite memory of you diffidently hadn’t been her favorite at the moment, but she’d grown exceedingly fond of it nowadays.

It was shortly after you'd moved in, maybe three or four months give or take, and before the loop had been initially set. It was also before you'd really started getting to know one another, so you were still practically strangers. But by then the children already loved you and were all over you practically every hour of the day. Alma always worried you'd have enough of it and snap at one of the younger kids for their clingy behavior, but that never seemed to be the case.

She’d been walking through the house, making sure she had tabs on every child in case of any accident when she passed by the study. She first noticed that the thick velvet curtains had been opened up, letting in a warm afternoon light that basked over the couch. Further inspection found you basking on said couch with a book in hand and three children curled up in your lap. The twins had cuddled up together on the farther and by your feet, while Claire lie across your chest, snoring ever so softly with her head nuzzled right under your chin. As you flipped through your book, your free hand gently stroked through her curly blonde hair. Alma knew the girl loved this kind of tender affection, but she was always afraid that her second mouth would accidentally bite anyone who dare touch her hair, so she ignored the desire. Despite not giving the action your full attention, you were so mindful to keep away from the mouth, which was actively drooling as Claire slept.

It was the tenderness of the scene that made Alma realize her fondness for having you around. And while the admission had been only hers, she panicked, rushing to leave the view behind and busy herself with a new activity to push down whatever the fuzzy feeling in her chest might be.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Your wife is extremely protective of you and your children, just like any Peregrin would be with her nest. She demonstrates this when she leaves with Barron, no questions asked, or when her brothers “come into town”. You constantly scold her for her recklessness, almost calling her eager for danger. She scoffs at the notion, but deep down knows that you are right about it. A part of her craves danger, the thrill of adrenalin, but she tells herself that it's because she’d rather it be her you or the children.

Alma insists that she doesn't need you protecting her, but she does. Not physically, that is, but emotionally. You are her rock, whether she likes it or not, and it's you who will take on the “chore” of caring for her, as she would put it. But you don't mind. You tell her that you'd never mind if it's for her. She does her best to believe you, and over time she does.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, and everyday tasks?)

Special occasions like date night and anniversaries can be tricky since proper alone time can be challenging, and given the situation of the time loop, there's always the chance of forgetting what day it actually is. But that’s alright with both of you. You've come to enjoy stolen time together rather than grand gestures.

However, if you do have a date night or evening alone, it’s generally thanks to your older kids taking the littles out for an “adventure”. Alma insists that it’s embarrassing, but you've both grown quite fond of your evenings alone. It's definitely helped your relationship in the long run and the kids seem to enjoy going off on their own for a few hours. You like to think it makes them feel grown up for a while.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

She tried her best not to have many “bad habits” and if she did have any she wouldn’t admit it, but you know her worst habit is not verbalizing what she wants. She’ll go for a day not asking for a simple thing, then get frustrated when it doesn't happen. You try your best to get her talking, but she insists that she's fine. It could be as simple as wanting a chore done, or bigger, like asking for your presence or attention.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Despite only seeing the same people every day, Alma is very pristine when it comes to her appearance. You joke that it’s the bird part of her, always keen to preen both her hair and feathers. She scoffed at this idea but nevertheless, you insist on your theory. Alma says that she just likes things to be on schedule and the same.

However, she’s willing to let her hair down (literally and metaphorically) with you. She loves it when you help wash her hair or take the pins out for her. The feeling of your nails scratching at her scalp is exacerbating and does something to her every time.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Absolutely. While she has her children, you fill an extra space that she didn’t realize was empty till you filled it. Now, the thought of losing you would eat her alive and she wouldn’t know what to do with herself.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Similar to when you own a pet, you find feathers stuck almost everywhere. Mostly they’re little fuzzy ones that stick to your clothes or sheets, but sometimes you find them in your hair or sticking out of your pillows. It's not because Alma turns into a bird or anything in her sleep, but sometimes she has leftover baby feathers from when she does transform that she forgets to preen, as she likes to say.

This also sometimes happens when she dreams. She’ll go to sleep featherless, but wake up from a dream with baby feathers sprouting from her hairline and along her shoulder blades. She detests it and generally has a “grumpy morning” as the children like to whisper, but you find it charming and always offer to help her pluck and preen the spots she can't reach.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

She can't stand it when the children try asking one parent a question only to ask the other the same thing when they don't get the answer they want. She knows if she tells a child no, they’ll go right to you with no hesitation in hopes of a yes. And it isn’t your fault, but you don't notice this game they play and will give them the answer they want with the right kind of begging. It makes her quite cross to learn that her kids would stoop that low. You all know that you can’t say no to their sweet faces.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

Rather than just lying under a blanket, Alma loves to be completely wrapped up in your sheets, almost like a cocoon. The night doesn't start out that way, but when you wake up together you are almost always tangled and covered up, unable to see your room til you find your way out of the nest of blankets youve been stuffed into.

#sfw alphabet #alma lefay peregrine x reader #alma lefay peregrine #miss peregrine x reader #character alphabet #comfort character #headcanon

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vicekillx · 3 months

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UPDATE: 2024

Usually I make these kinds of post around New Years, but this year I didn't really have anything to say. But now we're a month in and I definitely do.

I feel…different, this year. In a good way, I think. I feel like I'm tired of being complacent and riding coattails. This month has been a whirlwind of getting my shit in line. So far I:

handled two serious family crises smoothly and picked myself back up quickly from both

called my health insurance (phone calls have historically been an hours-long meltdown-inducing debacle for me) twice to switch my PCP because the previous one was consistently booked 3-6 months out and she just forgot to mention the inhaler I pulled out of my bag to show her at my first appointment so I couldn't get a refill on it or my nebulizer when I had COVID; that's been getting put off since August of last year

made an appointment with said new PCP for Feb 1, and I'm hoping they'll be able to refer me to a dentist and optometrist because I desperately need both

got back into therapy with an autism/ADHD specialist who can help me manage those specifically after my previous therapist didn't understand why I couldn't just Do It™; also have assessments lined up for both to get diagnoses

pay more attention to my health in general, including diet and exercise. I'm already down about 10 lb

restructured my planner to include a mood tracker and sleep tracker, and have been better about staying on top of it

got Trello up and running and so far it's working really well for me

have been doing my house chores more consistently, namely cleaning litter boxes and taking care of my snakes and tarantulas (roommates have been picking up my slack but they shouldn't have to, they're my animals)

am able to work more consistently on my designated work days; before it was a lot of chipping away and putting things off rather than sitting down and making actually decent progress

am finally starting a tattoo sleeve I've wanted for a very, very long time as a belated birthday gift to myself

am consistently filling stream sketch slots, which means I can actually make money and pay my bills on-time (and a huge, huge thank you to everyone who signs up, I'm pretty sure this is the primary reason I've been able to pull myself out of the hole. Financial stability is a hell of a drug)

This year I wanna try really hard to keep the train moving along this track. If things keep going the way they are, I could potentially make some pretty big changes in the not so distant future. Some things I'm brainstorming:

UnholyFans

merch other than stickers (seriously I have so many designs in mind, I just haven't had the drive to work on them or the upfront capital to order inventory)

more monster/demon adoptables

I would really like to collab with some other artists, it's been too fuckin long

website restructure

picking up my side business (I did literally zero pieces for it last year oof), ideally with a rebrand

get back into conventions and try some new crowds: reptile/exotic expos, tattoo conventions, oddities expos, sex conventions, BDSM groups…

push the stream setup to be more professional

rekindling the spark for my personal stories and headworld projects

more I have written down somewhere but can't think of off the top of my head

And to be clear, I'm optimistic, but also a realist. I know from experience that shit changes and I could hit a massive depressive slump in a month or two and be back to where I was for most of last year. I'm still not going to promise anything I'm not confident I can deliver. However, that doesn't mean I shouldn't try.

I already got sidetracked with this post, so I'm gonna make a second to get to my original point and I'll come back and add a link to this one when I do. But suffice to say I want to try - again - to breathe some kind of life back into my SubscribeStar. I have some ideas in mind, but I want to hear yall's opinions on it too.

Watch this space ♥

#vice says #update

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itstimewehavesomesoliddick · 8 months

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I remember when the gameplay trailer for payday 3 came out you kinda vague posted about disliking it, did you ever elaborate on what you disliked?

@metalgeara-10cii-arc-210 sorry for the delay but here it is

Basically I've seen footage of the beta since then and some things aren't as bad as I thought but I still see a lot being wrong with it, some of my thoughts about it are below (tl;dr at the bottom)

The UI is worse, they had a perfect coop hud in payday 2, all it needed was to fit indicators for some of the new mechanics and it would have been fine, now you have to play a guessing game of which health bar is yours while going cross eyes because all you ammo and equipment stats are on the other side of the screen, and they got rid of the interaction circle for some reason, so instead of having a very clear indicator of how long an action takes, now you have to squint to look at a tiny square filling up (also they added a crosshair for filthy casuals)

I still have gripes with the gazillion particle effects on some things because unreal engine move, especially the grenades, turns out the flashbang also blinds you by making you not know what the fuck you're looking at thanks to patented Nvidia PhysX™ drivers

I still hate the new look of all the characters, heisters look unnaturally lanky (and the devs getting rid of the suits as the default outfit), all the SWAT guys look the same, all blue uniform black tacticool gear, which is a big departure from 2 where you could always easily tell SWAT tiers and types apart (even on normal the heavy SWATs had a distinctive white helmet and yellow shoulder pads), plus the new special enemy designs sucks, the bulldozer went from a bulky green (or full black) EOD guy that easily stood out in a crowd to basically a blue SWAT guy but bulkier, the Taser went from having a different silhouette and color palette to just another blue SWAT with a couple of yellow bits glued on him, the new grenadier is the same, same base color, just muted red bit, a gasmask (same color as balaclavas) and grenades on his chest to tell him apart, they also made the cloaker go from a stealthy ambusher that punished going around alone and rewarded watching your teammates' backs to a fast walljumping ninja

I also hate the new look of equipment, in the first two game all your equipment had this jury-rigged-with-hardware-store-parts look, medic bags were just that, a bag filled with pharmacy first aid supplies, the ammo bag was a bag full of gun store ammo boxes (before being a rucksack full of magazines), the old look of the turrets was and MP5 rigged to a raspberry pi with 2 motors inside of a tool case, now we have this futuristic self deploying milspec futuristic turret, or clean cases of kevlar plates, it really took away quite a bit of the aesthetic (like how the first hideout was a laundromat's basement)

Then there's mechanics like being able to shoot through a shield's viewport, which completely nullifies their purpose of rewarding teamplay by making someone need to flank them, and they're completely cheapened as an obstacle since you can just slide to stagger them (instead of breaking your leg by sliding on asphalt into a level 4 shield being held by SWAT operator wearing 30 pounds of gear), besides we already had an enemy invincible from the front unless you took an accurate shot, it was call a tan SWAT

Speaking of sliding, there's all the trend chasing flavor of the year mechanics, the sliding being one of them, there's the power meter that you fill with kills they stole from RAID:WW2 so you can pull a more powerful weapon out of your ass, sure some weapons in payday 2 were silly like that, but grenade launchers were usually balanced out by a poor ammo economy

Also now your armor doesn't automatically regenerate apparently (unless I'm getting this wrong), I really don't see the point of having two healthbars that don't regenerate on their own, I always thought the point of it was to allow you to pop out of cover and to reward some risk, now I don't know what they're trying to do

I'm also not a fan of the new skills system, basically they replaced the old one, which promoted teamplay with different trees/roles all bringing different things that helped the team, now it's closer to an ARPG, with 3 different effects that trigger buffs depending on conditions, effects that can stack and chain together etc, it's all very min-max-y, because ARPG mechanics is exactly what I wanted in my Heat (1995) simulator

Speaking of trend chasing, they seem to be copying the Modern Warfare reboots for this one, by both having the same tacticool animations as everyone else (especially the grenade throw) and by making the guns wildly shake from left to right because that's how recoil works apparently

Another domain they're emulating the MW reboot in is the sound, with guns that sound muffled and completely lack punch and bass like a sewing machine, whereas Payday 2's weapons sounded great, this might be due to Simon Viklund leaving, which also brings me to my next point:

No Bain = no buy, I know Simon hated doing the voice, and I'd have easily settled for Locke, but instead of a professional, experienced criminal mastermind or an Afrikaner veteran mercenary, we now have an irritating, sarcastic, quippy, annoying mission control

This also applies to the music, half of Payday was the fantastic soundtrack by Viklund and with him gone, I'm not sure I want to hear whatever they replaced him with

After audible pain, I can talk about a visual one, and the fact that even in the beta there's also eyepopping oversaturated CS:GO tier weapon skins plus weapon charms and stickers, which also shows their priority, I hated the weapon skins in Payday 2 since day 1, 95% of them looked terrible and I don't expect it to get any better, which also brings me to my final point

When I saw the menus for Payday 3, it was clear to me that they wouldn't be caught lacking a second time monetization wise. When Payday 2 released, it was never meant to have weapon skins or purchasable outfits, and those menus reflected that, but not in Payday 3, everything is already ready for it to be a live service game with all the gazillion DLC cosmetics you could imagine, the menus are all already set up to be filled with purchasable items down the line, leaks already showed "payday credits" so I have a feeling that we're already headed down microtransaction road, even with the cope of "muh it's just for cosmetics!", especially knowing their publisher Starbreeze (the same one that made them break their promise of never putting in microtransations in 2, they made that promise for the last game, yet now they're already implementing the framework for them before it got out of the beta)

TL;DR: Just like in many other cases, Payday started out as an indie franchise with a unique and interesting premise, then the sequel got popular and monetized, the studio grew, and now the latest entry is nearly unrecognizable from the original, completely diluted by time and the core studio founders leaving, they used to be a stone standing out of the river, now time has made them a grain of sand going with the current

Payday went from Heat (1995): The Videogame to Just Another Modern Shooter (Cops & Robbers flavor)

I might end up getting it much later down the line but I'll be real with you, I loved Payday since 1, I slowly watched it move further and further away from what it was and for this one, I'm not hyped at all

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marcholasmoth · 4 months

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OSRR: 3443

today has been fuckin ROUGH, my dudes.

i woke up this morning and almost immediately got overwhelmed by stuff. car accident stuff, medical bill stuff, cleaning stuff, putting stuff away, money stuff, literally anything that i had to think about or possibly find i was immediately stressed about. my broken glasses, an unpaid insurance claim, unpaid medical bills that i didn't know where to send, phone calls, breakfast, missing paperwork. literally i sat up in bed with my head in my hands for a solid ten minutes because i couldn't handle looking at my disaster of a room. it just made everything worse.

the anxiety and stress followed me most of the day. it still lingers, even now.

i didn't feel confident enough in myself to be an adult today. in fact, today was one of those days when i wanted to sit with my plushies and rock back and forth all day and be tucked into bed. it felt like i was five. it happens a lot, actually, and it's very frustrating because it happens at the worst possible moments.

i had to push through it. as mom looked for some of my paperwork, she also picked up some of the things in my room that didn't need to be there. it made it a little more manageable. i could at least look at it.

mom and i sat down and looked at paperwork after collecting a bunch. we looked through insurance things for my car accident. i went through and checked things off. i had questions so i wrote them down. i filled out forms and called my claims agent and left a message. when she didn't pick up, mom and i went to the bank to get things notarized. with that done, we got starbucks and lunch and my agent called back just as i was putting my stuff down after coming back. i asked my questions and got some answers. so that was good.

i also got a notification that my ebay package was delivered - the one with my new glasses frames in it. i ran out to grab the mail and i took the box and my purse and went to get my lenses changed into the new frames. i had to wait a bit, and while i waited i realized i was so excited to get my new frames that i'd left my phone on the table at home.

good news is the frames are perfect.

i was able to hit up walmart after for a few things i needed, like my medication refills, some body wash, and a new supply of period supplies, but i also got more decorations for the office for valentine's day and laundry baskets for me and joel. they're a distinct color so no one should fuck it up.

also i scheduled an appointment to get my hair done later this month. mom and i talked about it and she said she was willing to pay for it for me, still. she mentioned it's something i do for my mental health, and she's right. it's been a long time since i last got my hair done, so i'm happy about being able to do it again.

after returning home after all of that, i was tired. mom and i went upstairs and played one of the new games i got for christmas and it was a lot of fun to play. i'll bring it over to play with joel, although a lot of people don't like the same kind of games i do. it kind of makes me sad because people don't like the puzzle games i like so i don't have people to play them with. sure i don't have a lot of time anyway, but id still like to play. i miss playing. so much of my life is just work and sleep and drive and i don't ever really get to just play. i keep plushies with me because i want the comfort of having them with me because i don't have time to dedicate to having them with me. so i just keep them with me. it's. it's frustrating. and it makes me sad.

but yeah not much happened besides a ton of things that needed to be cleared up for my mental health.

next up is cutting my nails. i'm so tired. i'm exhausted and im hungry and im tired and i need a vacation desperately. and probably a new job. it's taxing. i love my job. i love my coworkers. but what i have to do to go to work daily is unsustainable. i've really worked there for six months. i am very fucking close to burning out.

i need to talk to christine. too many things have happened.

also i'd like a joel hug. he gives good hugs and encourages me to only worry about the things i can control. he helps me put things into perspective.

i hope he likes the laundry baskets.

#molly rambles #operation srr #osrr #3000s #3400s #sunshine boy

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superjinkyo · 9 months

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Update

I had to reply to some emails this week related to my brother so it seemed like a good kick in the butt to update here as well.

Firstly, I've had a few people from here who have been keeping tabs on me and I am so deeply grateful for the messages and connections.

It took a week or so to notify my brother's co-workers of his death. He worked in Hollywood and his show had already wrapped for the season. The strike gave me enough breathing space to send an email when I was ready.

The cast, crew, and union members shared beautiful messages about him through the listserv and I was able to share those with my remaining brothers back home. That was all I could manage at the time. Today, his dept. manager reached out again. He wants to organize a memorial service for the show crew and invited me to come.

I sent him my rough availability for the month and am hoping the schedule allows me to attend. No family has come out yet. It is what it is - we love each other, the bonds are strong, and they sent money but I ended up doing all the heavy lifting of caring for him. My brother's ashes are still in a box in the closet. Celebrating his life in person with people who knew him feels more manageable now than it did a while ago.

Mid-July I ramped up project 'clean out his room'. This was rough. My brother was a magpie who brought home so many sparkling things. He also had a real shopping habit, and he rarely cleaned things or threw things away. The room was a massive nicotine tar and dust-covered hoard.

Rough going, and honestly, anger-inducing. I'm a frugal person. I'm self-employed and am aware of how much money comes in and out. He had a ton of disposable income and apparently disposed it on bullshit.

My local support group helped me sort through the hoard. There was lots of obvious and easy to discard trash and furniture. I paid to fill a 10-foot truck and send it to the landfill.

I'm left with what easily feels like another 10-foot truck things. Some are items to be mailed back to my other brothers (along with their little ash urns). Other' family items that my brother has been carrying since we were kids. My brothers and I grew up feral, more or less. We don't have a childhood home or photo albums or bronzed baby shoes type things. We moved a lot, we sloughed off a lot, we reinvented ourselves a lot. I found so many things in the hoard that I just assumed the family had tossed aside in our travels and that was an unexpected emotional mess. I put most of those things aside to sort through and distribute as needed.

The hoard also contains a lot of hard goods in new/fairly new in box condition. Lots of older major film franchise swag that I've set aside to sort what is sellable and what is not worth the effort. I tossed most of the unboxed hard goods and soft goods/clothes left open to the smoke and dust.

So, the room was cleared, cleaned and painted. Initially, the plan was to move in a roommate to help with rent. Now, I'm strongly leaning toward not bringing in a renter. I don't want a stranger in the house. This does mean I have to really ramp up my hustle in order to cover full rent. That's where I am now.

#cw grief #death cw #sibling death tw

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springgirlwaiting4fall · 2 years

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Hey, you lovely human being!

I've just read your sweet date nights and it gave me a new idea. Your heart throb is home for a few days, and you decide to cook together. What are you making, and who takes the lead in the kitchen? Or maybe you need to order something in the end because your creation's burnt...for reasons?

Love ya!💚💜

So I’m going to let you in on a little secret when I was in my early 20’s I thought I was going to be that girl. The girl that could hang with the guys, be super secure and never get jealous, and on top of that always have these amazing dinners and baked goods every night. That my man would bring the leftovers to work and everyone would be jealous. I also stayed skinny and was able to pull off an oversize sun hat.

None of those things came true. The 1st time I moved in with a man I burnt a frozen pizza and the fire department was called. Most recently I started a small kitchen fire when I was making spaghetti.

This was a really hard one for me to write, because I loved the idea so much that it was hard to pick just one guy. Plus I couldn’t decide if I wanted to be dream me or real me. So sweet Tits it’s your lucky day. Your getting a double!

Eddie had been gone all week he left Saturday Morning for an AEW Fanfest and Pay per view; than had a show each night for an independent company. He texted me earlier today to see if I would be done work in time to pick him up from the airport. I told him a little white lie about someone calling out sick and needing to work late. In reality I had left work at lunch to set up a romantic surprise and took Monday and Tuesday off, so we could spend time together before he had to leave for AEW again. During the afternoon I ran errands to my waxer, grocery store, and butcher. Than rushed home to clean up the house and prep dinner. Eddie’s flight was landing when I went into the shower. I put on a sexy dress and did my hair and make up. He walked into the house as soon as I was pulling a cold beer out of the fridge for him.

“What’s all this?” Eddie was used to coming home and finding me passed out on the couch, with some Doritos dust all over my face and love at first sight on the tv.

I kissed his cheek and told him it was his welcome home party and all he needed to do was shower and put on something comfortable. I love wearing summer dresses, but I love seeing Eddie in his sweats and cut off shirts even more.

While Eddie was upstairs showering I grilled

Steaks and loaded the table with his favorites. For desert I made his favorite homemade ice cream cake. When he came downstairs, it took everything in me not to rush over at him and throw myself at him.

He was always came out of the shower smelling so good. Like Irish spring soap and a smell that was just Eddie; it made me feel primal.

But I pulled myself together and was able to to get him to sit down at the table. That night we had a perfect meal while catching up on everything we missed. Eddie’s thank you kisses ending up with me on the dining room table and him having me for dessert. We did eventually have the cake…upstairs in our bed after round 2.

“Why are we doing this?” Trent ask as he tries to juggle the tomatoes I had set out on the counter.

“Because our date box subscription says that cooking together can be a romantic and sensual activity.” I reply putting the recipe card that was sent in the box down and wrapping my arms around Trent’s waist. Trent easily picks me up and sets me down on the counter and in between his legs. “Don’t you want to be sensual with me?”

“I can think of a lot of ways for us to get sensual together,” he kisses my neck, trying to distract me.

“I can too. But right now your going to fill that pot up with water and and I’m going to start washing the veggies.” I jump down and smack Trent’s butt as he does what I say.

I’m almost down peeling and chopping all the vegetables, while Trent is cutting the baked chicken. “Babe, is the water boiling yet. We should put the pasta in soon.”

Trent has his hat on backwards and he is looking so good, I almost want to ditch the cooking and just have him for dinner. But he turns around to check on the pasta.

“Shit.” I gasp as Trent is pouring in the noodles, the knife slips out and cuts my finger. Trent turns around and spills the noodles all over the stove top and burner.

“Here, let me see.” Trent takes me in the bathroom and helps clean up finger. After applying a bandage, he kisses it. “All better.”

I’m about to tell him that I’m going to need more kisses to make it better when the fire alarm goes off. We both rush to the kitchen and find that dry pasta noodles are actuality very flammable as the whole stove top is covered in bow tie pasta each noodle on fire.

Trent grabs the fire extinguisher, while I run around looking like a sim when their oven catches on fire. When the last noodle is fire and smoke free, I look at the ruined noodles and vegetables covered in my blood.

“At least the chicken is still good.” Trent tells me trying to put a positive spin on this, he knows how much this date night means to me.

In what could only be described as a sitcom moment, our two usually very well behaved dogs strut into the kitchen while one is getting pets, the other one jumps up on the counter and grabs the chicken. Both run away before we can say anything.

I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes and that lump in my throat get harder and harder. I can’t tell if I’m more angry or sad, I just wanted a romantic night in. I feel Trent wrap his arms around me. “Come on.” He rubs my back and I dig my face into his shoulder. “How about we get ice cream fro dinner?”

Ice cream dates with Trent is the best kind of date.

FUCK IT! Your getting 3!!!!

Today was a crap day. My shoe broke on the way to work, so I had to wear my stinky gym sneakers all day. Than I spilled my coke all over my lunch and I didn’t have time to run out and get something else. And of course I didn’t get out on time and now was in the subway on the way home back to Brooklyn in a crowded rush hour filled subway. To top this all off Santana wasn’t going to be home until tomorrow morning. All I wanted to do was get in the tub and order way too much Chinese food for one person and binge watch New Girl for the thousandth time.

The apartment door was unlocked and when I walked in loud music and an amazing smell were coming from the kitchen. Santana was home early! I quickly kicked off my sneakers and called out “erizo bebe.” When I first started to date Santana I would call him my hedgehog. He looked prickly and mean to everyone else, but for me he was adorable and sweet. Than the first time he took my to Purtero Rico his family tried teaching me Spanish, every time I would say something everyone would just crack up, but nobody would laugh harder than Santana. By the end of the trip I was calling him my headgehog baby in Spanish just to get him to laugh and it stuck when we got home. He came out of the kitchen and I met him halfway in the hallway. Santana easily picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. “This is the perfect surprise.” I kissed him, he tasted like toothpaste with a hint of spice.

“Go get freshen up. I’m making your favorites.” I slide down his body when I put my feet down just to tease him a bit. In the bedroom I threw my hair up in a messy bun to give him easy access to my neck later. Santana was an amazing cook, but he was usually so tired we would usually just order out, so this was definitely a treat. In return I throw on a pair of my shortest yoga shorts and one of his old shirts that I tied up so it would fit me in all the right places.

He definitely noticed as his eyes got big once he saw me. Santana hand a spot at the table waiting for me with a coke and water. He loved to tease me that I couldn’t handle the spices yet, but that I was getting there. He sat down next to me and handed me a bowl filled with Caldo Santo. A flavorful soup made with shrimp and fish. My mouth watered at the sight. Before eating Santana kissed the corner of my mouth and whispered. “If you’re a good girl and eat all your dinner there’s dessert for you too.”

#aew #aew fanfiction #eddie kingston #trent beretta #santana and ortiz #my best girl ask #I deliver #love her #top girls out

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gillianthecat · 1 year

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NaClYoHo Day 5

I did not end up doing the dishes yesterday after all; I decided not to even try because I kept getting coughing fits whenever I stood up. But I did them this morning, despite really not wanting to. I wasn't too tired, I'd just kind of lost the momentum of doing things and the novelty of being sick was wearing off. But getting the dishes done felt good, and I looked out the window at the misty rain on my neighbor's roofs and the distant orange and green trees and at the water droplets on the spiderweb in my window frame, and it was all very pretty.

I still had some energy after the dishes so I wanted to go for a walk but then I decided to fold my clothes from the drying rack first. And I did it! I didn't put them away, mostly because my dresser situation is chaos right now and that felt overwhelming, but I did put them in tote bags to carry upstairs when I have the energy.

And then I did go for a walk in the not quite rain. When I went to Ireland when I was five they called this kind of weather "soft out" (or so the family story goes, I haven't checked if this is true) so that's what my family always calls it. It also felt really nice; sometimes I forget I how good it feels being outside when I'm holed up in bed for a long time. I walked to the end up the patio, checked my energy levels and then decided I could go further and so made it about halfway down the block (which is the equivalent of a whole normal block, my block is very long), and decided it was time to go back. According to my magic watch, about 450 steps altogether, lol. But that's more than I had the energy for yesterday.

I've been complaining on here about being sick a lot but that's because I'm enjoying feeling like I can complain about it. Usually when I'm stuck in bed for a long time it's because my ADHD brain is refusing to do anything else and there's so much shame and embarrassment around it. So being forced to do nothing because of physical illness feels wonderful in a way. It's not my fault I'm not doing anything! My body is to blame! I have no choice but to lie here and watch my shows! I physically can't do the dishes right now!

So I am a little anxious now that I'm on the mend about getting back into cleaning. And I have a hard time evaluating my capabilities to do things even at the best of times. But I do think I can honestly say, based on my physical energy levels and not just my ADHD desire to shirk work, that I still can't do that much. Therefore the plan for today, beside the now typical doing dishes and keeping trash contained, will be to do more loads of hang-dry only laundry (enough to fill the drying racks) because a) I have a lot to get through, and b) it's convenient to have it hanging up now when I can't do other cleaning so it's not in the way. Even though drying is slow on a wet rainy day like today. And then, only if I still have energy, maybe a load of dryer-able clothes because that is low mental effort.

🔲 dishes

✔ replace trash can bag in room

✔️ keep trash contained

✔️ gather two loads worth of hang-dry laundry

✔️ wash first load

✔️ wash second load

✔️ hang first load

✔️ hang second load

bonus round:

✔️ wash regular load

✔️ dry regular load

✔ fetch and fold clothes

But I'm going to rest a little more before starting any of that - watch this weeks ep of Big Dragon and drink some hot chocolate.

afternoon addition: well, gathering the laundry and carrying it downstairs was exhausting. So I'm not going to do the bonus round, but i will attempt to wash and hang everything already down there. Should be doable even if tiring.

evening addition: i had momentum and the laundry basket was right there ready to go so I ended up doing it. even though i got exhausted folding it I'm glad I did; it's so satisfying to a) have it done and b) replace the boxes with check marks.

#housekeeping with gillianthecat #gillianthecat hates being sick #naclyoho #this tag has basically become my semi-public diary #it's kind of like those recipe websites everyone hates where you have to read a whole random story before you get to the recipe #but instead of a recipe you just get a list of two chores

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symptoms-syndrome · 2 years

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I feel like I have like. A stress hangover. Like yesterday was so immensely stressful and emotion filled and I couldn't deal with it yesterday so I just offset those feelings to today. Which kinda sucks! Esp since today I'm gonna be doing more moving stuff. I'm getting my bed, shelf, nightstand and chest into my room, and then transferring as much stuff as I can from my old room into my new room. Luckily for me they're right next to each other. Also luckily for me, the person moving into my room isn't here until Monday, so I have some time to set stuff up. My old/current room is such a mess though, partially bc I was like "what the hell is the point of cleaning if all this stuff is gonna be out of here soon" and partially because I've been so stressed I just came home and laid in bed. Last night even though they're gone I kept thinking I heard them, or heard their doors or whatever. Stress stress stress, it's weird bc it feels like a trauma response but not in a triggering to other things way. IDK if shitty roommates would be mentally boxed as a trauma but whatever. I'm not in charge of my brain.

But I think getting stuff done will make me feel better. It'll feel nice to see my new room coming together. I already set up my desk and new PC, and tested it to find out it's broken, which was kinda expected. My roommate left it under her open window during a rainstorm. She did offer to pay for it to be fixed though, I just hope it's not too expensive because I would feel really bad if she had to pay a lot. I thought I would be more mad about that than I am. It's an honest mistake and I think all my mad has been used up to direct at the shitty ex roommates. It just sucks because I wanted to start playing FFXIV with my friends and have wanted a PC for a really long time. This is my first desktop, unless you count the old days of having a "family computer" you turned on with your foot LOL.

But it's nice. The room is really big. I'll be able to do my yoga in peace without feeling cramped in my room or embarrassed in the living room. I feel safe in my apartment again. All these things are good. The new roommates are good.

But I'm gonna be busy for a few days. Thankfully after that I have surgery and will be able to just. Chill for a few weeks and take it super easy. The only obligation I'll have is healing and my two college classes, which I anticipate being pretty easy? We'll see. But I've handled worse. I can handle peace. It will be okay. I'll designate some time to be weighted blanket time.

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limenysnocket · 1 year

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I am officially announcing my retirement from rpf writing!!! And just writing on Tumblr in general!!! Can you believe it???

I know I haven't written anything in a hot second, and it's that way because I haven't been drawn to it personally or emotionally. A lot of things have happened that have hurt me deeply.

I've lost a few close and trusted friends on here in the past few years because of the things I've written. I thought I'd be able to recoup, if I found a new group (rhyme not intended), but unfortunately, here on Tumblr, I have not MADE anymore friends to fill in those gaps, soooo. The hurt's still there, y'know.

There's also the amounts of hate I have received, like others. And a number of very uncomfortable requests and situations I've been unwillingly thrust into. My retirement is not totally in response to it, but it plays a part. Tumblr's a shit box, guys. We've all realized this. When I downloaded it on my phone and started browsing, I was only here for the memes and the art, having not seen the "kick-me sign" from older users when I first appeared. Now I'm stuck in this God forsaken loop and haven't a clue on how to get out.

My goal now is to somehow become UNSTUCK.

I'll still be here, sure, but I'll only occasionally reblog something I like and read my silly little fanfictions about fictional people. I'll keep my masterlist up. Nothing's getting deleted, but there's going to be nothing getting made either. Catch my drift?

This'll probably get pinned when I post it. Just so everyone can know and I won't be buried by the Tumblr algorithm.

For all those who want to leave, okay. I won't judge you. Honestly, now I have an abundance of porn bots to keep me company (I have to figure out how to clean theses guys out).

I just want to be a normal user again. No trouble. No drama. No emotional attachment. And I want to get off this fucking website at some point in time.

The lot of you have been a joy to meet. Wish I could have been better.

Much love and kindness to you, signing off--

Xoxo Limeny Snocket.

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abellaheart-blog · 2 years

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Hi this is the one that answered all the match up questions but didn’t say what I wanted lol sorry about that I guess I forgot but happy birthday day hope it’s good and the things I wanted are a jewelry piece and I wanted a ding for that lets also do a potion the green one I believe and a perfume called garden of love . Thank you for being patient lol have a good day 💚🦋

Fortune Teller Match Maker 🔮 Anime Matchups 💘

Lol it’s okay! It was a mistake and I wanted to be able to write your matchup for you 😌 thanks for wishing me a happy birthday. You have a good day as well 💓 So I will say I didn't know how to pinpoint someone older than you nor did I know what your definition of "beautiful eyes", I think everyone's opinion varies. I paired you with someone who is seventeen, hope you like your matchup.

Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters

The fortune tellers eyes widen at your request. It's been a while since someone last asked for a good luck charm. She becomes excited and asks you to follow her. She leads you to another part of her tent. It's on the right side of the tent where you find more shelves.

"A goodluck charm is what you're seeking, you say?" She grabs a couple boxes, asking what kind of good luck charm you seek.

When you answer that you'd want jewelry she allows you to choose three bright red wooden boxes then leads you back to her round table. Abella cleans off her table with a flick of her ringed finger. The bangles on her wrist jingles and she is seated on her plush orange stool. After the pink puff of smoke is gone you see her table is cleared except her hot pink crystal ball.

"Before I have you choose between the three boxes here, I'll need to figure out who your true love is. I'll need assistance from my crystal ball to do so."

Abella focuses on the crystal ball in front of her. Her hands touch the ball and she’s closes her eyes, causing the pink hearts beneath them to glow pink across her cheeks. A huge symbol of a pink rose appears on the ground surrounding you both. She looks over to you.

“I must be focused but I also need to hold your hand. Is that alright with you?”

You nod lending her your hand. You’re surprised to feel a slight force on your soul. It startled you a bit at first but now you’re feeling at ease while Abella begins looking into your romance. She quickly figures out who it is you’re meant to be with. An image begins appearing on the now glowing pink crystal ball.

"It appears your true love is a motorcycle riding duelist. He is not what I would expect for your true love... he is filled with darkness but I also see loneliness.. sadness.. and a longing for companionship. Yes, he longs for love and you're most compatible."

Upon looking at the pink crystal ball it reveals an image of a brunette with spikey hair. He's slightly tanned with ocean colored blue eyes, though a nice shade they're filled with a melancholy expression on a stoic look of a young biker boy.

"Your true love is named Valon." Abella tells you as you stare at the crystal ball surprised.

"Now that we know who your true love is I can properly help you. I've seen enough from my crystal ball. It has told me plenty." She waves her hand over the sphere causing it to revert back to its original state of hot pink.

Abella's hand then waves over all three of the boxes, the hearts under her eyes are still glowing pink and the boxes glow, turning into a purple color.

"Choose from these boxes. Be sure to pick one that feels right to you. Once you're done I can tell you how it will help you in getting true love."

You feel a wave over come you when your hand is hovering over each box. You feel a sense of vulnerability and warmth when you touch one of the boxes. You choose this box and Abella gestures you to open it. She waves her hand and the other boxes disappear in a puff of smoke.

"It's in a ring box?" You question, observing the red velvet box.

"Yes open it." Abella reassures you.

The ring is very meaningful. Abella's smile looks so warm she knows why it is you received such a ring. Emeralds have so many meanings. She watches as you try the ring on, it's a perfect fit.

"This ring will be incredibly helpful to you. It's said to bring friendship, peace, harmony, and domestic bliss by enabling the wearer to both give and receive unconditional love. Emeralds are also a symbol of romance, hope and rebirth. I'm sure you understand what it symbolizes for you." She then looks back at you. “What else can I help you with?"

You look to her and ask of your next request. She is pleased with your next request. She hopes you will as well.

"A potion? Which color?"

You tell her you desire the green one out of the various ones you see from the shelf behind her. Abella stands up to reach for the green colored potion.

"This potion is called, 'Amore Para Mi'. Meaning, Love for you. Don't mistake it for some type of love potion. My potions are designed to assist my customers and nothing more."

"What does it do?" You understood her, observing the tiny green bottle.

The bottle is small, enough for one serving. It's a lime green color similar to pickle juice. Unlike pickles it has a nice aroma. Smelling of flowers and sweetness.

"Your true love will have the desire to spend time with you and something romantic is bound to happen. Remember this only happens if you both form some sort of feelings for one another." She looks back at the bottle then back to your brown eyes. "You must drink the entire bottle."

Understanding, you follow her directions. When you open the bottle, small green smoke leaves the opening. The potion tasted a bit minty with a hint of sweet cucumber. It wasn't a over powering taste. You didn't feel any different. When you look back at Abella she smiles knowing the outcome of the potion should your true love act on his feelings.

"Valon still needs time to recover from the horrid experiences he’s had. If it doesn't work out remember he might need more time and a little help. I wouldn't want you to be disheartened should it not work out the first time."

You give her a look of understanding but there's sadness crossing your brown eyes.

"Was there anything else I could help you with?" The curly haired woman asks.

You tell Abella you're interested in perfume as well. She looks to another shelf of hers and has you pick out a perfume. You point one out to her and she grabs it. The perfume has a mint colored heart shaped lid, meanwhile the bottle is decorated with flowers and stems. The color is lavender and a pearl pink, very nice shades.

"This perfume is called, “Garden of Love”. The flowery scent will help your lover realize they want to be with you. It’s sure to end romantically for the both of you but be warned. If your lover doesn’t yet reciprocate your feelings it will have no affect.”

“How does it work?”

“All you need is two sprays. I promise it smells amazing.”

You spray yourself with the perfume a couple times and get a whiff of flowers. It smells of daisys, chamomile’s, roses, and fresh air. It’s very relaxing and makes you feel ready to take on the world. You’re seeking passionate love.

“This is amazing.” You praise.

“I’m glad you enjoy it.” Abella stands up and gestures you to follow.

You two stand beside her table and she closes her eyes causing the hearts on her face to light up again. You notice the pink magical rose symbol on the ground again.

“This portal will lead to your true love. I think I’ve given you plenty of assistance. I hope this goes well for you and remember my precious words. Valon needs to realize he’s ready for love!” She says as you’re looking over to the white portal at the center of the magical symbol on the ground.

“Thank you!” You said before heading into the portal.

When you open your brown eyes you see you're by a gas station. Doesn't seem very busy since you notice no cars. You decide to explore. The gas station isn't abandoned but you do notice a single motorcycle. You observe it but think nothing much of it until you notice Valon walking by. You're unsure how to speak to him at first. What could you possibly say? Your surprised by a sudden noise and yell. You look back to Valon and notice he's in pain gripping his hand. You decide to help him.

"You okay? Do you need medical help?"

He's surprised by your concern but gives you a yes. You head inside and ask to barrow a first aid kit. The worker hands it to you, understanding the medical situation. When you go back to Valon he notices the first aid kit. As you're treating his injured hand for him he decides to make small talk with you. He is thankful for your help. He thinks people don't go out of their way for others. You tell him you couldn't allow him to bandage himself when it looks so injured.

"Well ain't you a sweet heart?" Valon gives you his trademark smile.

You simply smile back at him but he did notice your eyes widen at the nick name. He's eyeing you with a smile the rest of the time you're bandaging him. After you're done he stays to chat with you a bit. Valon decides to ask you out on a date.

"Ya know I thought it was cute how worried you were about me. What would you say to a date?"

"I wouldn't mind a date with you." You blush, not realizing he was interested in you. Perhaps Abella might be right about him but there's much to learn about Valon.

"I'd be honored if you rode on my humble motorcycle and myself. I know some good sights." He says, directing you to his bike.

You get onto his bike and he hands you his helmet after he removes the goggles from them. After you're both settled he rides off on his motorcycle. You two pass several sceneries and take plenty of stops to observe the views and chat. Your flowery scent from the perfume reminded him of a place he used to go to with the nun that raised him at the orphanage.

Eventually you two end up at a garden. It's a hidden one he knew about. Valon said he knew about it because a nun used to take him there growing up. You thought it was nice and told him so. You two are seated on the grass surrounded by flowers. It was comfortable silence. Valon thinks the garden smells like you. He could smell your flowery scent while he was driving his motorcycle. It was pleasant as your presence is to him. He thought back to how focused you were on his injury. It was what prompted him to ask you out, he thought it was attractive to be so nurturing. He stares at your beautiful features and nice long brunette hair.

"Ya know, love you're quite the catch."

He's hoping to make you blush, which it did but your response made his eyes widen. He thinks you're adorable.

"You're not bad yourself, this is such a nice place. It's romantic."

"Why don't we pick ya some flowers, beautiful?"

So you two decide to make a bouquet for you. You choose some of your favorites while Valon chose daisy's and a variety of colorful ones. You look forward to putting them in a vase later. Valon wrapped an arm around your shoulders to look at your bouquet with you. Since you’re petite he had to lower his arm a bit which wasn’t a problem but he’s secretly thinking how cute it is. He’d love to spin you in his arms on another one of your dates. A thought which made him smile twice as more. He’s never felt this way, not even with Mai. He decided to tell you his thoughts of your beauty.

“It’s as beautiful as you, love.”

You smile at the sweet nick name and his cute smile. Valon smells your flowery scent again and thinks about how wonderful this date is. About how lucky he is to get a date with you. Seems to be one of the few positive outcomes in his life so far. He hopes his life will continue to be peaceful as it is now. It looks to be getting closer to sunset so he suggests to take you back into the city. You agree to it. He ties your bouquet for you and he helps you onto the motorcycle.

The ride back was very nice since the sky looked so beautiful transitioning to various colors before the sun begins to set. At the city Valon is on his bike bidding you a farewell. He kisses your cheek. It was a cute scene since he had to lean down to reach your petite self.

“When will I get to see you again?” He asks with soft eyes.

“How about in down town at the water fountain near Kaiba Corp?”

“Sure. I’ll meet you there in the afternoon?”

“I’d like that Valon. Have a goodnight and take care.”

“Why thanks, love. You too.”

He drives off leaving you with your bouquet and thoughts with a fond smile. You decide to head back to Abella to thank her. You remember the location of her tent. You’re unsure if she has a costumer until you step inside her tent. Thankfully she doesn’t seem busy. She is organizing her shelf of perfumes. She quickly notices you.

“Good evening! Cute assortment of flowers.” She directs to your bouquet.

You mention the date with Valon and thank her for it. She gives you a knowing look. A smile grazes her face and she sets down a perfume bottle.

“I’m so happy for you. The emerald ring and the perfume were sure to be a wonderful combo. A date at a garden is so lovely.”

You mention how lovely the date was. How it was such a romantic setting. Abella giggles and agrees with you. She heads over to a large planter in her tent and picks a flower. She holds it out to you. You couldn’t believe she has a Camellia Japonica in her hand. It’s a vivid pink. You accept it with a smile in thanks.

“Valon and yourself have a longing for love. It’s a love I think will be as true as can be. Remember even though there might be some darkness in him there is still adoration and the need for love in his heart. Help him find it. I give you the flower as a gift, to remind you of the love and romance awaiting you.”

“Thank you so much. For everything.”

“Your very welcome. You have a goodnight!” The fortune teller waves goodbye.

Abella knows your love with Valon is meant to be. The Camellia Japonica, the pink flower given to you represents gentle, unreserved love. Valon will be so loving towards you when he realizes how precious your love for him is.

#abella fortune teller event #abella fortune teller takeover #anime matchup #yugioh matchup #yugioh duel monsters #matchups #dividers not mine #villain matchup

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reidak-artcreature · 4 months

Text

2023 recap!

Can't belive the year is over! Time to look back cause I sure don't remember half the stuff I've done

January

Birb got 10 notes and I couldn't believe how much people loved him.

I tried a crochet kit and was defeated. In my defense I have to say it was right after an exam and it was really cold.

I got a watercolor set and rediscovered my love for watercolor

February

Discovered Funguary, and made 4 charactes. It's a really fun challenge that I'm surely going to participate again.

I made quite a few watercolor pieces, I still like them all a lot

March

Don't know how, but I finished the 100 head challenge. There are some awful monstruosities, but I learned a lot. I'll probably do it again in the future, it's a pretty nice exercise.

I finally made a sona! And this one has stuck! I love my lil shadow creature.

April

Made what is probably the watercolor piece I love the most. And one the pieces I like the most overall.

I got FlipaClip and had a lot fun making some little animations. Someone even used one of the lil gifs! That made me pretty happy

I personalized a little notebook to carry around, and it was the best desition of my life. I love that thing. And it's amazing that I don't have to search for the pen, it's all together!

May

The coin pouch is also one of the best things I've made. The strings are a bit long and the embroidery is a bit loose, I'll fix those on the next one I make (looking at you, squid pouch)

The anual redraw of Coral and Sebastian couldn't be missing. The poor Sebastian finally got his (I hope) final design. I was in love with how it looks, but looking it now... What hapened to their faces?

Decided to redraw some old drawings I had on Ibis. The progress I've made since I drew the originals.

Mermay, of course! Somehow they turned into oficial ocs. I love the stupid trio.

June

Aaaaaaahhhhh!!!! It's almost July and I haven't updated my ArtFight references! "Chibi" versions it is. At least now a lot of them have colored full body references.

Painted a box! It's now buried under too many trinkets I have to clean up, but I still love how pretty it looks!

Started a new sketchbook and painted the cover. I love the mushroom lantern.

Made this year's Artfight gif, banner and artfighters. The silly gif brings me a smile every time I see it.

July

ArtFight! 42 attacks and 21 defenses. I have no idea how I managed to make so many. I did get burned out on the second half of the month tho. I absolutely love every single art I received, but this one with Coral and Sebastian has a special place.

What do you do when you are burned out? You make a new style, of course! I love the simple style that came out of that. Feels weird to see that is fairly recent, I feel like I've been using it for ages. It has evolved a bit since, those thin lines in the eyes look weird now.

August

Nuclear Waste was born. And people went crazy. The silly boy loves and appreciates all the affection you've showered him!

Smaugust is a thing? Dragons! I still need so much prectice with them and animals in general.

I made a comic! I love it, it's so silly. I had a great time with it.

September

Pirate shirt! It fits a bit weird, but I think I can fix it. It took soooo long to hand sew it

I got a drawing tablet! Took me a couple of weeks to get used to, but it was worth it. I love using it.

To practice I made every single prompt of CuteGirltober. The only reason I was able to finish is that most of them were left as sketches. Should have learned from ArtFight, I can't draw every day, that's too much.

November

I made a font! It works really well, and it's so fun to type something and see it look like you handwrote it.

Got to write a bit too. I need to do that more.

I also worked on some proyects I've been wanting to do but haven't touched in a long while.

Including bookbinding a little notebook! I filled it with headshots of my ocs.

December

ArticFight prompts and a secret santa were mostly the reasons I drew. I love this one with Alex and Layla.

I also made some free adoptables. There might be some left when this is posted.

And we are done with the year!

That was so much! Thank you everyone, hope you had a good year and an even better 2024!

#recap #2023 recap

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