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#Also hoping this makes someone day just as much as it made mine holy shit
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!!! Omg OP this is so cute!!!
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tfyoulookingatgiuxs · 6 months
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Hello!
Could you possibly do a cute opposites attract for Billy Hargrove? Not like a nerd reader, more like a flower child in a way. I think the idea would be very cute and funny.
I hope you have a great day!
•Interesting. I've never written something like this but I'm determined to be happy to try. In any case, I am ready to satisfy your request again. I want to point out how the word "flower child" stuck in my mind, making the reader a true flower child, in the literary sense. I hope you like it!
Sunflower
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Billy Hargrove x FlowerChild!Reader
𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: The late warm spring afternoon in Hawkins looked spectacular. The flowers were blooming and the sweet breeze touched you making you feel like you were in a fairy tale. But the day had other plans in mind for you and you never thought you would find him.
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: Fluff, slight angst? fem!reader, no use of Y/N, your surname is Williams, bad language, opposite attract, sigarettes, daddy issue.
𝐀/𝐍: Request from @unamused-boss ,I hope I have satisfied your request! I apologize for any errors and I also hope that I have exceeded your expectations. Sorry for my english this is not my native language. Please support and reblog! Hope you enjoy this one. (DIVIDER NOT MINE)
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It was a late afternoon in Hawkins. Spring had just begun and the flowers had just bloomed, coloring an isolated part of the forest forgotten by everyone. It was like an enchanted place, you had to go through the woods to get there but you didn't mind walking a bit. It felt like a real paradise, it was like your secret place. No one could get there, only you knew how to get in and you knew how to get out.
Every day after school you go there. School could be hard and going there among the greenery and flowers made you happy and let your emotions shine through.
The flowers that surrounded you were all sunflowers, a truly infinite field, with the presence of a few daisies.
You had always been a girl with elegant feminine tastes, high grades but also a strong and difficult character. Nothing could make you happier than nature and flowers in general. You had a nice green thumb, you knew how to grow and plant. This is due to the fact that your uncle worked for a long time in the countryside and when you went to visit him for the holidays there was always something new to learn.
Today you headed there once again, full of happiness. The sun warmed you as you walked through the green tall grass. You sat down, letting the fresh air and surrounding sounds carry you away. The wind, the birds singing..."Holy shit!" you heard in the distance. You reopened your eyes in confusion and saw something you never expected to see. Someone had managed to get to your secret place. The worst thing? It was Billy Hargrove.
Billy Hargrove was a boy who went to the same school as you, he was lazy, didn't work hard at school and only thought about having fun and going to parties drinking like crazy. Besides this, he was also a very attractive boy, with long blond curls and crystal blue eyes and a nice physique. In short, aesthetically he was very handsome, you couldn't deny it, but otherwise he wasn't really your type, he was your opposite, you couldn't hope to get along with him.
You hadn't spoken to him much, you had only tutored him last year to help him with his grades. Needless to say, he tried to persuade you by convincing you to do his homework but luckily you were smarter than him. Now he had improved, but it was clear that he didn't want to study or think about his future.
From the way he was fidgeting you could tell he got lost "Hey!" He screamed as soon as he saw you, most likely he didn't recognize you. You stood up from where you were sitting as the skirt of your white dress fluttered. Billy looked at your figure, you were more enchanting than ever and perhaps he had never noticed it until now. You got closer and Billy did the same thing. "Look who's here, Williams." he said sarcastically "Nice to see you Hargorve" you also added a note of sarcasm but still keeping a certain lightness in your words "You can call me Billy" he winked at you and you rolled your eyes.
To be clear. You don't hate him. You know he was teasing you and obviously you didn't get carried away by his games. He was just different and as much as you might hope for redemption from him, you had to accept the fact that Billy Hargorve was the same old bad boy who will never change, and that everything good he had is gone.
"Did you get lost by any chance?" You asked looking at the field and he took a cigarette out of his pocket and you ignored him "What do you say? Do you think I'm a guy who loves remote places?" He looked at you with an obvious look as he lit his cigarette. The nauseating smell of tobacco pervaded you while with one hand you tried to get rid of the bad smell "No, but apparently you love the woods. In short, to come here you have to go through the woods, so excuse me if I ask you, but what do were you doing there?" Billy didn't answer you for a moment, he could have said "it's none of your business" or "Don't mind any fucking business that doesn't concern you Williams" in a more vulgar way, but he didn't. Even though he could be harsh, he wasn't that bad after all and it wasn't appropriate to use such forced language in front of a damsel.
"I was... walking" he didn't add anything else while his curls fluttered a little from here to there. From his tone you felt like he wanted to tell you something, but he decided not to. Maybe he had a rough day? Or maybe he's just in a bad mood? You've started to speculate. Although curious about what that walk meant, you decided not to say anything else and responded with a simple "Okay" and then silence fell.
"And you? Why are you here? Is the little damsel lost too?" You crossed your arms at his typical womanizer nickname "Oh no. I'm not lost. I come here often" He raised an eyebrow as he blew smoke from his plump lips "Why? What's great about being here looking at nothing?" You laughed slightly "You can't look at anything! Being here relaxes me and helps me to... detach myself from reality" you said the last words with a sense of sadness.
Life could be really mean and even cruel, and the worst thing is when you have no one to ask for help. When you think that nothing can help you get up and move forward, but in the end you understand that even something abstract or something concrete like an object, or anything that is not human can help you in your difficulties. Yours was nature, this secret place of yours that you wished you had discovered sooner. Few perhaps couldn't understand what you find so beautiful in plants or landscapes, and honestly not even you could explain it. Billy, on the other hand, remained silent and looked at you and then threw his cigarette on the ground and crushed it with his foot "Nonsense, you can't detach yourself from reality" his tone was serious and you looked at his features, he was angry? No. He was injured.
"As much as you try, reality is always there, you can't ignore it, much less detach yourself from it..." he continued and then he met your eyes and let out a cough "...so, Here. I find it difficult to understand what you find here Williams, maybe you're strange" he finished the sentence as if nothing had happened, as if what he had said before didn't matter. You approached him and Billy looked at you carefully "Can't you? Or maybe you don't want to?" Hargrove looked at you as if shocked "From the way you speak it's as if you want to detach yourself from reality, but you decide not to, is it perhaps because you're more worried about what happens in reality? As if every little distraction could cause something bad than not can you ignore it?" At that moment, a face never known to you formed on the face of the boy with golden curls, a different Billy you had never seen before. It was like vulnerable...
“I'm sorry, maybe this makes you uncomfortable.” You panicked. You hadn't even realized your words let alone that maybe it might make Billy uncomfortable in some way. You tried to compose yourself and walked away, changing the subject "Now I can take you back out of the woods, I know the way to-"
“My father” you were interrupted by his voice which now seemed to have taken on a different tone “What?”
"My father i can't ignore." You didn't say anything, letting him continue "I always tried to think about other things, maybe focusing on going out for parties or going to basketball games. But when I did that, my father made my life even worse, making it total shit" the wind blew was lowered and Billy in the meantime leaned with his back on a nearby tree "You're right when you say that 'I would like to detach myself from reality but I can't' because I realized that I can't do it..." his words were so genuine, so sincere, but at the same time so suffering. It was as if the Billy you knew wasn't there. They weren't his words, yet they came out of his mouth.
Instinctively you placed your light hand on his forearm and he looked back into your eyes "It's never too late to try again Billy. Don't let just one person ruin you, because then you'll end up regretting it" you replied and then you smiled. He wasn't convinced, but you were willing to let him know. You gently grabbed his hand and he let you do it, as if he was enchanted by your touch "Come with me" you said and together you walked through what was the field of sunflowers.
"You know, the first time I ended up here I thought how the day couldn't get any worse. I was lost too. But I don't think I found a better place to be" the blue-eyed boy looked around and he was like carefree "Here you don't have to fear anything, here you are safe and not even your father can hurt you" you reassured him and your hands melted. Hargrove continued to remain silent and then sat up enjoying the wind caressing his face and simply nodded.
"Can I tell you something Williams?" You nodded "Sure" he got up and took a sunflower and cut off the stem. You felt bad when the flowers were pulled down but you decided not to say anything. He looked at it carefully and then glanced at you "You like flowers right?" You nodded again "So much" Billy continued to stare at you and then with his free hand he placed a lock of your hair behind your ear, placing the flower in the same place "Then you will know what the sunflower means" your cheeks turned red admiring Billy's face with enchantment "I'll give it to you, it suits you" your heart stopped beating for a moment when the boy with golden curls smiled at you and then walked away.
You watched his figure. The sunflower symbolized the sun, therefore the light of life. When you gave a sunflower to a person it was to tell them how sunny and cheerful they are. You didn't think Billy was capable of such a gesture or even that he knew the meaning of the flower. Apparently you didn't know Billy Hargrove for all intents and purposes.
What was it you said? "As much as you could hope for redemption from him, did you have to accept the fact that Billy Hargorve was the usual bad boy who will never change, and that everything good he had was lost?" It turns out you were very wrong.
"So, will you help me out of the woods or not?" He turned around noticing that you weren't following him "Yes" You shook your head coming back to earth "You must not tell anyone what I told you, I would like it to stay between us, clear Williams?" You nodded, laughing.
From that day on you began to see Billy Hargrove with different eyes.
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woso-dreamzzz · 14 days
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hate exam szn. i was late to the fateful jenni agenda day 🥲
i didn’t even realize the summary for alexia’s version was you come home and so when i read jenni’s summary—you go home—my stomach actually dropped. was like damn shots fired, feeling bad for alexia but yk she made her bed (unknowingly of course… but still)
bambi being strong and weak against alexia and feeling suffocated when she hugged her? calling out to her only to GIVE HER BACK THE TRAIN? spain without the s.
the (sort of) putellas erasure and feeling content at the thought of just being a hermoso actually hurts 😭 i’ve lowkey wanted this outcome the entire series and now that it’s here i’m sobbing. getting the “worst traits” from alexia and thinking she’d have let bambi stay if she were good at football oh my. jenni having always supported bambi’s interest in ballet feels right though. do you think jenni ever posts about it (perhaps not bambi’s face specifically, more so things related to bambi and to ballet) with so much pride and it gets back to alexia like a slap to the face? or even eli/alba visiting in mexico to watch a big recital and eli’s posts are more private so there are just videos on top of videos of bambi dancing—how does alexia react to all of this? alexia makes the decision that jenni’s better for bambi, but do you ever think she hates that fact? does it ever frost her relationship with jenni?
i was also wondering how olga reacts to bambi leaving. does this mean there’s never a true relationship between the two? bambi wouldn’t get a lot of time with alexia so i feel like alexia would inadvertently push olga to the side when bambi’s here. is olga just jaume’s mother? do you think bambi ever reflects on the fact that the addition of olga into bambi’s life was definitely a turning point? (so many questions omg… sorry) does jenni ever speak about olga and alexia in a bitter sense? does alba ever confront olga as well?
i hope that bambi’s a little more expressive of her feelings with jenni in this alternate outcome. the “so’s mine” and no one hears… the guinea pig comment too. bambi i’m getting you out of all the pain you’ve ever endured. i hope that she’s able to (in both outcomes) overcome this fear of speaking up for herself… because she won’t be able to realize that none of this was her fault if she doesn’t express she feels this way 🥲
also: holy shit. the mami never wanted you to you think mami is special to you know she’ll be the best mami in the world to jaume too LASHED ME W SO MUCH PAIN. SPAIN WITHOUT THE S. bambi’s always held alexia to the highest regard and despite her experiences alexia is never hated/despised. this might be a result of unreliable narrating given bambi’s reflection of her family and “how things are” are most definitely influenced by how she feels… but bambi thinking she was lucky alexia loved her ENOUGH to look after her until someone else could. NOT EVEN CARE FOR HER. look after. pain. her reflection of jenni always having loved her cements my feelings towards my internal jenni/alexia debate. (it’s always favoured jenni) of course alexia never meant for this to happen… “this” meaning bambi (from the beginning she’s faced difficulty on if she even wanted to go through with the pregnancy) but also this as in what’s occurred to bambi in general. to me though, alexia had full autonomy to end the pregnancy. she chose to have bambi. to me that signifies consenting to take on the responsibilities of a parent, and alexia failed that. though people make mistakes… this was dragged on and obviously has long-lasting consequences and haunts not just her, but bambi too. jenni’s constant and unwavering love for bambi hopefully will mend this trauma and heal her from the pain she’s been put through at such a young age
honestly after all this, even if i feel for alexia and we see how happy she is to get bambi back… we see more of how affected bambi’s been in this situation—and if we think about it, this is how bambi feels when she’s not forcing herself to accept alexia’s love especially when it feels so foreign. it matters that alexia tried but i think that train being broken was symbolic of her relationship with bambi… even when olga mended it it’d never be enough—it’s broken now and bambi hands back the new train (the one that should’ve been her birthday present) and to me that feels like bambi passing on this sort of responsibility to alexia with regard to jaume. this is a new train (a new child) and bambi wishes for alexia to take care of it and not break it the way she broke bambi.
still crying though. i love this series. thank you for always choosing the most painful words and sharing such a nuanced story <3 sorry for all the long rambles! there should probably be a feature to hide my asks bc i feel like it must be annoying have to scroll through it if you don’t want to read it 😭 you are the best though and everything you write is always a pleasure to read <33333
ps. princesse’s “mapi who doesn’t play football” HC is my most favourite. mapi’s the most supportive tattoo-acquiring, stray cat feeding girlfriend in the world and ingrid deserves nothing less
another ps. the first time i met my youngest sibling i lifted the blanket and got punched in the nose too. cub i love u <3
Long anon! I missed you! 😘
Bambi giving Alexia back the train was being planned for so long. It was always going to happen. It was just a matter of time that I put it in somewhere.
Jenni definitely posts about Bambi. She's such a proud Mama. She's careful with it though. None of the pics on her actual account fully show Bambi's face but she'll show Bambi's face on her story. There's countless photos of Bambi showing off her new ballet shoes (and then her pointe shoes when she's old enough to have them) and there's so many of the back of Bambi's head surrounded by her trains.
Eli definitely has more freedom in posting about Bambi because her account is private. She adores Bambi and practically all of her recitals end up on Eli's account, where Alexia usually gets her unfiltered information about Bambi from.
Olga and Bambi only really have a foundation of a relationship, the one that was made in the hospital, and it kind of stays that way. It develops a little bit as Bambi gets older but not much. Olga is mainly Jaume's mama and Alexia's partner. As Bambi grows up, she definitely comes to understand that her life changed the day that Alexia and Olga sat her down to talk about giving her a sibling.
Jenni doesn't really like to talk about Alexia and Olga to Bambi. She doesn't want to remind Bambi of them because she knows she's going to bitter about them so she just doesn't talk about them. Alba doesn't really confront Olga about anything. Her main job was getting Bambi out of that situation and she's done that now. She does keep a careful watch for the same warning signs for Jaume just in case.
Also about the train symbolism. The Bambi Train was ceramic. It looks strong but it's actually so fragile (Alexia dropped it and it completely shattered) while the Jaume Train is a proper model train. It's actually strong and if someone drops it, there's not going to be a lot of damage. It kind of signifies Alexia as a parent. She got a lot wrong with Bambi and she knows that but in the end, she ended up shattering the train (she broke their relationship). But with Jaume's train (and his and Alexia's relationship now and in the future) has stronger foundations and can take a few mistakes along the way without ruining it. Alexia has changed as a parent and giving Bambi to Jenni makes her want to be the best parent she can be to Jaume so neither of her kids have to suffer again.
I love reading your long rambles and I was so excited this morning to wake up and see you in my inbox again! I've got a few more parts of Injured stocked up with the first appearance of teen!Bambi that I'm so excited about!
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invisiblequeen · 2 months
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Noe Bodi Gameplay: Day 36, Part 2
Here we are! Zavier St. Tompkins (@westonsims00) and Rhea Moya (@fl0pera) have arrived at the Romance Festival for a first date.
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Other notable guests included:
Simeon Silversweater in an outfit that i did NOT curate for him...
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Noemy Ortega (@beebeesiims) painting next to Rain Drop (@riverofjazzsims)....
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And Donna Richmond (@elysiantrait) passed out on the ground, possibly from all the exciting activity she got up to back on HER first date.😑
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Back to the lovebirds. They sipped Sakura Tea to get them in the mood--as if Zavier needed it; this man was on a flirty high the whole time!
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The pair took to the dance floor and waltzed their way around the ground murals quite gracefully.
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Look. At how. They stare at each other.
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"This will be! And everlasting love!" I sang as I watched them end the dance with a perfect pose.
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Only soulmates could have so much chemistry on the dance floor.
Zavier was so happy he threw her flower petals!! They were legit the only ones who were this lovey-dovey with each other, everyone else was either awkwardly dancing or standing by the tea without drinking it.
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They were so lovey-dovey, in fact, that they caught the eye of the Love Guru.
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When they sauntered over to him, Zavier jokingly asked about his romantic future, certain that the Guru would answer favorably.
But--
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And Zavier did not like that at all.
Rhea's smile kind of froze in place as she watched Zavier engage in a back-and-forth with the Guru, as if any of this was supposed to be taken seriously. Zavier, meanwhile, gone off the sakura tea, was feeling personally attacked, and started wondering if the Love Guru was warning him that the union he had just found led to heartbreak.
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And in perfect (or horrible) timing, look who also showed up to see the Love Guru! NOEMY ORTEGA (@beebeesiims)
She was given a much more hopeful prediction, which made her smile and made the couple next to her tense up.
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Noemy, who had no inkling of their situation, greeted them both with a warm smile. Zavier, feeling petty, turned and congratulated her on "what a happy happy life you're gonna live! What's it like to have a non-bleak destiny? What's it like to have a destiny?"
(can you tell that this situation has brought up some things?)
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Noemy, who was not blind to his undertone, kept it pushing with kindness.
Rhea, who could only focus on Zavier's "charmer" smile, did not like this interaction at all. She stomped away rather quickly.
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Which left Zavier alone to be properly chastised by his new acquaintance.
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"How do I get past 'Bleak' when you got to have 'Great'?"
"It's only bleak if you MAKE IT BLEAK, dummy."
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"Holy shit, you're right, thanks, nice to meet you, gotta go BYE!"
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Don't be too mad at him, guys, he's been burned by legit psychics before.
So he decided to make it up to Rhea by secretly lighting one of the festival fireworks she'd been waiting to see.
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Considering the fireworks were supposed to be lit at the END of the festival, she picked up on the signal and awkwardly moved to where he was still standing over the fire thingy.
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With nothing but sincerity, Zavier looked her straight in the eye, and apologized for freaking out at the Love Guru. He INSISTED that he wasn't flirting with Noemy.
Rhea, in turn, apologized for thinking he would actually flirt with someone in front of her like a DUMMY, even though he was being a dummy. He's just not THAT kind of dummy.
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"We make our own destiny, right, Z?"
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"Yeah..."
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"...and I'm about to fulfill mine right now."
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❤️🥹💕
They shared their first kiss at the Romance Festival, with fireworks sparkling all around them, and fireworks sparking between them.
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AND THEN THE GAME CRASHED.
[previous] - [next]
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bookshelf-dust · 1 year
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I'M HERE TO REQUEST AGAIN<33
could you write a fic where reader (established relationship with Gareth) is at the Hideout to listen to the band and a guy starts hitting on them? and Gareth gets jealous (not in a toxic way though). thank you<3
saturday’s at the hideout
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gareth emerson x gn!reader
word count: 1,125
warnings: swearing, gareth has insecurities, flirting, fluff
a/n: hi pal!! thank you for requesting!!! i hope this turned out okay. i’m feeling iffy about it. i also may have made gareth a little grumpy because i like gareth the grump. enjoy!! <333
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You bounce your leg where it rests on one of the supports underneath your chair. You feel yourself get slightly more nervous as people file in.
It’s not nearly this crowded on Tuesday’s, but it’s a Saturday night, and it seems everyone and their mom has decided to come to the Hideout tonight.
They don’t usually play on Saturday’s, but recently they’ve been asked to play more often, which Gareth may or may not have jumped up and down about.
You find yourself getting nervous because the more people there are, the better the chance of an increased creep population there is.
The boys have been on stage for awhile, and their set is almost up.
Gareth catches your eye during a few seconds when he’s not playing, one hand on a cymbal to quiet it, the other doing that obnoxious twirl of his drumstick that you pretend to hate.
He raises his eyebrows at you. A silent, you okay?
You nod, and there’s a split second where his eyes dart somewhere behind you before he starts playing again.
The table you’re sitting at is small and seats two, the kind where the chairs face each other. The kind for couples on dates.
Someone moves to stand in front of you, and you think they’re going to take the other chair for themselves, for a bigger party, but they drag it to the spot next to you.
You turn your head, utterly confused at this guy’s appearance. You go to say something that will make them fuck off, but you realize you know the guy. Michael, you think, remembering his name.
You went to high school with him, and you were lab partners with him for what felt like forever then.
While that calms your fear of it being some perv, in school this guy wasn’t exactly someone you would’ve liked to be best friends with. He was the kind of guy you could put up with as a lab partner, but not in any other situation. The person you put up with because you had to. Frankly because he was a douche.
“Holy shit,” you say, sitting up and trying your best to be sweet.
“Hey! I wasn’t expecting to see you here,” he tells you.
“Me either.” You set your hands in your lap, twisting around a ring Gareth gave you.
“It’s just been so long! I thought I’d see what you were up to these days. I won’t keep you long though, I promise.” He offers a sweet grin.
You look away for a second, glancing at Eddie. This is one of his favorite songs to perform and you love to watch him. He’s electric up there, thriving off of the energy from the crowd—way more than five drunks tonight.
“Not much,” you tell Michael. “College. This.”
You smile easily, and he seems to find something in it.
“You know someone in the band?” His voice is kind, curious. You think that maybe he’s turned around some post-high school.
You lift your hand to gesture in the direction of the stage.
“The drummer?” His eyes find Gareth. “He’s my boyfriend. The rest of the band are his best friends, so kind of mine too, I suppose.”
“Oh that’s so nice! They’re really good.”
“Aren’t they? What’ve you been up to?” You ask, not wanting to sound like a dick.
“Same as you. College. Fraternity stuff,” you internally roll your eyes, “trying to figure out what to do when I graduate, that kind of thing.”
“That sounds fun! I hope you find something you like doing.”
It’s then that Gareth looks toward the crowd after he’s had his head tossed back, and he finds you, talking to some guy.
He feels jealousy kick in his chest, and he tries to tamp it down, because the guy is getting up, leaving you alone, and your eyes are on him again.
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“Hey, Eddie! You were so good tonight! Very badass, if I may.”
Eddie grins wildly at you, offering a sweaty hug. “Thank you, my liege.”
You see a mop of brown curls appear behind him from the back of the building, and run around to met him.
“Hi, pretty boy!” Gareth grabs hold of you as you throw yourself at him, eager to spoil him with praise.
“Hey.” The way he says it makes you pull back, and you immediately know something’s wrong. It’s hard for him to hide things from you these days.
“What’s the matter? And don’t say nothing because I’ll kick your ass, Emerson.”
He rolls his eyes at you, but it’s more so because he knows you, and knows these feelings are silly, but he can’t help it. They’re the result of being bullied his whole life, he supposes.
“Who was that guy earlier? He was sitting with you.”
Gareth avoids your eyes.
“Oh.” He hates the way you say that, that you understand him so well. “That was Michael. He was my lab partner when we were in school. Just wanted to catch up.”
He scratches his nose, but drops his hand when you take his face in both of yours.
“Hey. Are you jealous?”
“No.”
“It’s okay if you are, but there’s no reason to be,” you tell him.
“I’m not.”
“Gareth,” you plead.
“Fuck. Yeah, I’m jealous, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. But you don’t have to worry about that, I swear.”
You push some of his sweaty curls back from his forehead, and grab a hair tie from your wrist to tie the top half up. He’s been growing it out lately, and it along enough that you can do so.
“He’s a frat boy, Gare.” You speak as you handle his hair. “He sounded nicer than in high school, but the fraternity thing is more than enough to make him a hazard.”
Gareth laughs, and you feel an immense relief at the sound. You grin at both that and the finished knot on the crown of his head.
“Really, I am sorry though,” he tells you. “I just get insecure sometimes. That I’m not good enough for you.”
“I know. But please don’t think that, honey. You’re everything to me, are you kidding?”
You take both of his hands, and you can feel a new callous on his palm, which you’ll have to look at later. He’s very good at cracking his skin open.
“Also, you looked insanely hot up here. Seriously. Don’t get me started. I could write an essay on how good you looked.”
Gareth goes bright red. “Oh yeah? Well I expect this essay on my desk come Monday morning. 8am sharp. No sooner, no later.”
You laugh brilliantly, and kiss him on each cheek.
“I’ll get right on it, Gare bear.”
————
please let me know if you liked this! feedback is always appreciated!! comments and reblogs mean more than you know. <33
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sphericalbee · 12 days
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this is long asf and i know it STARTS w me being like 'i should kms' but im gna spoil it for u all and say that's NOT where it goes lmfao im just dumping out all my thoughts
!! very very rambly, not proofread even once, probably makes no sense and is very cheesy
i wrote a fucking novel holy shit LMFAO no hard feelings if u skip
if i can be kinda depressing for a second i think ab killing myself too much for someone who is basically fine (that might be a lie idk i don't feel like thinking ab it more rn) 😭 like the world just has so many issues i dont wna deal with,,, yk? and it would be so much easier to just move on to whatever's next, bc i KNOW ill have a fuckton of debt in college and have to live through miserable relationships and watch the earth fall apart bc our leaders r so incompetent. even now im living through like 5 genocides, insane global warming, a poverty crisis, inflation, and all of this can be boiled down to greed and hatred
also a lot of kids my age are so horrible for no reason and it's sad to think how many people just absolutely suck ass
but at the same time i won't kill myself bc there are people who i wna make sure get through everything alright, and ik i have good things to live through too
so ive compromised and decided i get to shoot myself in the head when im like 60 if i don't have a wife and the world is still a mess 💀 like i don't wna live longer than i'll enjoy it (lets be reallll global warming will kill us all before i have to do anything anyway)
surprisingly, i got a lot better after reading philosophy books? making sense of the world and appreciating the genius of the philosophers, who were ppl just like me, helps
i feel like ive found so many new ways to think ab and experience the world through philosophy. it's a beautiful part of humanity, trying to understand and having genuine fascination about the way things are and what everything means
good music helps too. yerin baek to fall in love with everything and cry over every single feeling you've ever had ever, universe mongae when that's too much and i have to detach
i listen to universe mongae a lot in class bc my classmates fuckingh SUCKK and she sets me apart from my emotions or feeling lonely when im leaving myself out on purpose bc they're not good people
a few days ago, i was listening to yerin baek as i walked back to school from lunch and the world was suddenly so beautiful and i realised how everyone else has a consciousness and worlds just as real as mine and i fell in love with everyone (by everyone i mean like 30 people)
suddenly i couldn't even care how much i missed out on or the people who i wish loved me more because in the grand scheme of things, im allowed to be careless and love without reciprocation and it won't matter because i hold no more worth than a dragonfly... to have zero expectations for what you could and should feel or be and just enjoy yerin's voice in the moment might be one of the happiest moments i've ever had, honestly
yk whats ironic? it was a love song directed as another person that made me realise i could feel love and not care if i was still no one's favorite. life is beautiful anyway because i can love and make it beautiful on my own
not that my state of 'im fine with loving everyone alone' will last very long. i mean,, im just a mammal LMAO i can't deny my own brain chemistry
even just earlier today i finished the math test earlier and accidentally started thinking ab my childhood. idk why it happened but i did
and i remembered how i was so selfish and couldn't let anyone see i was anything less than perfect
there's one memory where i mispronounced a word and a girl corrected me. and i immediately tried to say, "no i know, but my brother says it that way and i do it too on accident". she called me out, obviously, and i rolled my eyes before whispering "it's true though" in the hope that someone would hear and think "oh she actually knew that"
it's sad to think how i used to be. that's from around 7th grade, i think, so i would've been 11 maybe?
up to a few months ago i would randomly remember that and feel insane anger and hatred for my younger self
it seems so foreign to me now and weird that i could hate a child for being brought up with horrible conditions and lacking emotional maturity. i thought that if i could go back in time i would just look at her and feel bad bc i got so much better since then
maybe even love her idk she's not having fun either 💀 do u think she enjoys holding herself to absolute perfection and looking like a dumbass in front of everyone when that's inevitably impossible??
there was another time that made me so sad to think ab
i got dragged along to my brother's friend's birthday party and some kid did smth rude
and i watched as the kid got chewed out by his mom and then went to apologise to the birthday kid
and the birthday kid just said, so seriously, "I accept your apology"
and i remember thinking smth like 'whoa that's cool id be so embarrassed talking like that'
thinking ab that time (i think i was 12ish maybe) is so crazy. like my parents did such a shit job that i thought i had to be SO ALOOF and above it all that accepting an apology was weak and embarrassing?? jesus i cannot wait to move out 💀 ill send them an email when im gone telling them everything they'd send me back to therapy for
ive been reading too much philosophy, and a lot of that revolves around the meaning of life and how to achieve happiness/catharsis. but i think i have my own conclusion of what it means to be happy even without plato haha
ive never been happier than when i began to forgive and understand myself
it feels like i can live as i want and it's not important. one of my favorite quotes is "i could die tonight and hold no more significance than a dragonfly's death". i wouldn't say im a nihilist but i do like the idea that nothing means anything other than the worlds we have in our minds
it's my mission to make those i care about happy and carve out a good future for myself
ive tried to follow a lifestyle of "i work for my future without ruining my present" but ngl i just ended up anorexic literally three times in the past 5 years 💀 idek what i did wrong like DAMN?? chill tf out hggsdhgfsgd i had a panic attack over eating an extra bit of cheese one time
also fuck my parents for giving me no life skills. raising urself is really hard and you end up with so much internalised bullshit
im honestly so proud of myself for turning everything around after 8th grade
i guess i owe a lot to my classmates for not letting me get away w bullshit and caring ab political issues
it's pretty wild that i cry at movies now when last year i was apathetic all the time
i think i like having feelings? pretty undecided still ngl
i think it's a step up
but i can't even talk to my parents ab how they fucked everything up for me and i had to pull myself out pf the absolute trenchessssss or theyll make me do family therapy and ill end up forgiving them which id rather explode than do
anyway ig my point is if you're having trouble with existence or mental health, pls don't give up on yourself. i promise there's people out there who either love you or will in the future and you just need a few quality coping mechanisms to make it through the day
whether that's antidepressants, the powerpuff girls, philosophy (:33 which it should be), yerin baek (which it also should be), or vent art, find ways to make life liveable until you're ok again. bc you always will be in the end
i probably don't know you but i love you because you have a life and a consciousness
please recognise that about everyone
i read somewhere that everything will always be alright in the end and if it's not okay yet, it's not the end either. it sounds dumb and doesn't really make sense (where's the logic lmao site ur sources at least) but it's such a nice sentiment
i think ummm i will go to school and give all my friends a big hug tmrw so pls don't be sad in the meantime
anyway loossemble's new album is good im so happy for them
this is the happiest and healthiest hyeju's ever looked i lowkey wna cry over how well theyre doing ;v;
also highkey want her to put me in a chokehold like GHSFDFJFSDHGJK those ARMSSSSSS MOTHER??
fuck modhaus tho i hope artms r doing well... fucking jaden jeong ugh
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astrobei · 1 year
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Hello Suni astrobei. For end of year asks, I ask you 2 and 12
hi abby strangeswift !! ok so i got a couple asks for 2 so i’m going to answer that one elsewhere so i can focus my full attention on Gushing !
12. talk about a new friend you made this year
ok i’m about to get seriously so sappy so if you don’t feel like reading through all this feel free to Leave (no hard feelings LOL)
i’m someone who has a pretty small social circle irl so i never thought i’d meet so many wonderful ppl this year, and definitely not online and definitely not because i started writing fanfiction again LOL like if u told january suni this she’d look at u like 👁👁 on a more serious note though this year was insane for me. so much changed really quickly in my life and i’m so beyond grateful that amidst all the chaos i was led to all of u guys ! literally if we’ve had even one conversation on here there’s a very high chance i’ve referred to u as a friend irl so. do with that what u will.
abby and ella (@elekinetic) and sierra (@finalgirlbyers) i want u guys to know that i treasure u all So Much. like even if our convos are sporadic or if we talk exclusively through asks ur presence on my dash brings me so much joy and i look forward to each post u make and each message and each ask and each incoherent ramble in the tags !! i don’t have Favorite Mutuals but if i did it would be u guys because it’s insane how much i light up seeing ur urls ! i hope 2023 brings so many more wonderful interactions w u guys, u rly make my mindless scrolling on tumblr 100x more fun
yvie @nnilkyway HELLO i am so so beyond grateful i met them this year ! what a strange stroke of luck too bc i was so obsessed w their art before we met and hearing him say he was a big fan of my work was like. mind boggling. anyways yvie is literally one of the funniest people i have ever met in my life oh my god it’s so rare for me to find people whose sense of humor just Clicks with mine but like. four messages in and we were sending each other memes and becoming best friends and it was fantastic! i have never once felt weird or intimidated talking to them which is crazy for me, a person who feels weird and intimidated a Lot, and also need i reiterate his INSANE TALENT !! like holy shit ! my go to person for talking about gf mike wheeler or mitski or literally just anything and everything. yvie if you’re reading this i am putting u in my pocket and holding u so close. mwah. also we are married, btw. if anyone cares.
haven @bookinit02 OK. you all have heard me gush about haven a million and one times on this blog and i’m sure you’ve seen her gush about me because she’s (rightfully) obsessed with me (/j. kind of) but haven was the first friend i ever made in the byler community which is so so beyond insane to me. i fell in love with her writing so instantaneously and you guys should’ve been there to see my reaction when i saw her leave her first comment on my fic. literally screamed it was so embarrassing 😭 we talked exclusively through ao3 comments for a while because she’d yell every time i updated ihcisc and i’d yell every time she updated her season 2 rewrite and then one day she dm’d me asking me to make a twt to add me to a byler gc and the rest was History. anyways haven is one of the most talented most creative people i’ve ever met BUT she’s also one of the sweetest and most compassionate people on the face of this planet and deserves nothing but good things always ! she’s one of those people that i need to talk to every day or i’ll go insane and i love how our convos can speedrun the entire human spectrum of emotions within like. 5 minutes. she’s so incredibly supportive and my #1 hype girl and she has the freaky ability to entirely turn my mood around on a bad day in less than 20 seconds. she literally managed to sleuth around and find my venmo just to send me soup money. if i could buy her Everything then i literally would. i would eat cilantro for her. i would watch the mlvn makeout scene for her. i would get my socks wet for her. literally i would do anything for her and i can’t wait until i see her in june and i chase her in circles around the airport and then we kiss👩🏼‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏽 and we Hug so tight and platonically 🫂
thea @wiseatom u already know. i tell her every day that i would do literally anything she asked of me and it’s true! literally 2 minutes ago she said “suni u should dye ur hair green” and for a moment i seriously considered it. anyways thea is objectively the funniest fucking person i have ever met in my life and is also my twin. if my twin were blond and taller and also a different age. in all seriousness though thea feels like the world’s most insane older sister to me and as an Actual older sister i’m really loving the feral little sibling treatment. she’s so insane easy to talk to (probably bc our brains work in the exact same way) and Oozes talent from literally every single cell in her body. she sends me a snippet of her work and i spend the next 10 minutes rolling on the floor trying not to SCREAM. there are so few people who can make me laugh as much as she does but also turn me into a blubbering mess of a baby with her Evil Cruel Prose 2 seconds later but thea wiseatom has been put on this planet to achieve the impossible. i have rarely felt so seen as i do when i talk to her, whether it’s for advice or Wallowing or complaining about our disproportionately large heads together, she is so kind and supportive and one of my favorite people Ever. i can’t believe the universe put her 3000 miles away from me because i Need to be a menace to her in person but we’ll make it work. every day i say goodnight to her at 8 pm my time and then say good morning to her at 2 am my time and then i go to bed <3 thea if you’re reading this (and u better be. i tagged u) i hope u know that u are the light of my life and i am packing my bindle as we speak to begin the cross country trek. mwah.
@andiwriteordie ANDI ! i miss talking to u every day but u are so busy with ur big girl job and cranking out quality fics at light speed so i’ll give u a pass 😔 andi is literally a legend in the byler fic community so when i found out she Knew Who I Was,,, i died. i literally died. even when we haven’t talked in a while i love how we can pick up a convo like nothing has changed or send posts that remind us of each other or go crazy apeshit in each others tags like there’s no tomorrow !! andi is so so inspirational to me, she is so kind and creative and full of positivity (even if her writing is mean and full of Sadness and Misery. still haven’t forgiven u for descent, btw) she feels like my other older sister and she has such an insane way with words that i will never understand ! thank u for singlehandedly keeping byler tumblr going, i hope 2023 is so kind to u and u get ultra promoted and have so much fun at the eras tour like u deserve <3
moon aka @smoosnoom omg ok not only is moon so crazy talented but she is such! a sweet person! back when i started writing for byler she was such an enigma to me, an ao3 user and a total Mystery, so i never expected us to actually talk and now! here we are! she is so uplifting and supportive and i’ve loved getting to know her over the past few months, whether it’s bonding over our shared hatred (affectionate. mostly) of finn wolfhard or bawling our eyes out to everything everywhere (oh my god.) seeing her comment on my first fic literally made my heart stop dead in my chest. she has such a gift for making everyone feel so immediately accepted and welcome in any space, and i will spend the rest of my life stewing in anger that she’s taller than me. that feels extremely, unfathomably illegal. anyway moon if ur reading this (and u also better be! bc i tagged u!!) i hope the new year is so good to u <3 mwah ily
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stormcrow513 · 1 year
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Jesus, some people on here are just messed up, like I'm just bored clicking around get on this one person's account bout to go back cause boring boring boring...
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Like holy fucking
This was one of the most half incoherent bat shit rant I've read in a while, that left me feeling confused upset and like unfairly attacked,
Like they start off being pissy about '21 somethings who can buy weed legally'
And then jumps to us in Colorado specifically,
Which starts to piss me off right there I love my state, as much as I get wanderlust time to time and like to try living elsewhere I'm born an raised like I wanna say fifth generation? Coloradan
This is my home,
It's one thing when people make Mile 'high' jokes those are usually in good humor and I think they're funny,
But this person just going off about us in particular about how 'easy' we got it
Oh I'm sorry how easy 21 somethings got it cause apparently they don't realize us 'old' folk also buy the legal drugs,
And all our options and how people from their state are coming here and bring our 'poison' into their state,
The 'poison' they apparently are so pissed they don't have easy access to, 👀
And how their state could have make much better 'poison' 😕
And then I think it stopped with wishing we all get hit in the head with a hammer!?!?!
I mean sorry to clog up y'all's dash with this but I really gotta vent on this cause of all the fucking things to go off about,
And specifically all the things about Cannabis to go off about,
Like that there are still people in prison in legalized states for cannabis charges,
That we still haven't dropped calling it marijuana despite the racist origins of that name (mind you I still fuck up and call it that too sometimes,)
The whole bat shit 'marijuana' plot that sounds like it should be a cooky conspiracy that is 100% factual,
But instead this person is getting pissed cause it's legal in my state,
First off asshole Colorado isn't the only legalized state,
Next even if it was, guess what dickhead I can't control your state,
mine voted it into law to legalize cannabis and I'm super proud of that,
Um also just cause it's legal dose not equal easy, you have to have cash, and it's not fucking cheap,
I've been experimenting with cannabis edibles and have been finding how amazingly helpful it is for me,
I have a shit load 'wrong' with me that's undiagnosed will remain so, and even if I was diagnosed and looking into meds they likely wouldn't work for me, I have something wrong with me that taking any kind of medication more then a couple days even as prescribed down to the exact hour, fucks me up,
I get start getting really bad side effects like day three, I was on fucking aspirin for a bit while super sick a few years ago I got tendinitis so bad I wanted to die for like two days,
I've even avoided being on shit what's the anti pregnancy pill called, um fuck, I've avoided it cause im not having sex and my periods are real good, I worry what I'll do if I ever get into a romantic relationship with a dude, probably will only be able to be with someone whose clipped,
I was on sleeping pills for a bit, one of the side effects was suicidal thoughts, guess who got that and all the fucking other ones, including dry mouth so bad I thought I'd die,
For some reason cannabis doesn't fuck me up at all, it helps it really fucking helps me even if I'm on it a lot,
It's the only thing that has ever fucking made my mind a not just okay place to be, but a great one,
And money is right so I can't have like constant access to it, I may at some point be able to get it at all,
And this dickhead thinks I should get a hammer to the head!?!
I try to let internet stuff slide off me but fuck if reading that didn't just royally upset me,
Just, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you pig fucking, dildo humping, cum sucking bag of broken sticks shit on by cats with the runs, mother fucker,
hope you step on cat shit every day of your life and that your hated by corvids everywhere,
Okay I feel better and yes I did block them they had another post that seemed a bit suspect especially after reading that post and no I didn't say shit to them what's the point
Edit looked at it again, it was ceiling fan fall on your head not hammer
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therealmyers78 · 1 year
Text
There is a special someone, whom I care about and love with my whole heart❤️. And they mean the whole world to me. When I look into her eyes. I see the oceans reflection of a cool winter's moon. And her hugs are like the comfort of a warm blanket. She is there for me in the darkest of times, and like a light she brings me out of them. When I first met this person, I knew this person was special. I knew I wanted to be there and be her friend. Care and support this person. She was in a rough patch, and so was I. It worked out really. She wasn't looking for anything, and neither was I. But I grew from just knowing them the first few weeks to being their bestfriend, that led to wanting to know them better. And better led to more...and more and more and more!😂. Late night calls and laughs and chuckles. Miraculous conversation that always involved some sort of reference or topic relating to Batman lol. And by that point I knew. I love her🌹We ofc got together, and she made (makes) me the happiest man. She teaches me alot. About her, life, etc. I learned about the skill and precision of which she draws. How she makes every little line count. I learned about farm work, horses especially. She loves them. I was never particularly fond of them, however I do take a liking to Ms. Wendy;) This girl taught me more about myself as a man, and as a person than I ever knew beforehand. Well into this point we're knee deep in the relationship and we've survived and fought against the odds. TOGETHER. You see, she has been there for me when I've almost died, been sick as a dog, delt with immeasurable struggles and she still manages to grind away and fight every day. Even when it's hard and she is down and out. She gets the fuck back up! She smiles and the flowers bloom. Her hair falls just right in her face, so that you can see and appreciate the little tilt of her head. Her nose scrunched up one day and ever since then I've deemed it "Bunny Nose"😂 She will deny it, but she is truly the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in existence. I don't care if you disagree Tumblr, your opinion is wrong and I will invalidate you!!! Swine!!! Seeing her in my hoodies, wearing my glasses or whatever. Makes me proud, like yes. This person is mine. This person is who I'm with! Seeing her do her makeup in record time (about 15 min probably less) is impressive beyond belief! She helped me with my Michael Myers Cosplay, doing the SFX for the Shotgun Hand from kills and Ends! And she did it. WITH EASE. When she is in the kitchen, she is like a wizard. I swear I think this girl is from the Wizarding world because holy shit she can cook! The way she moves with confidence and elegance. The strength and power she conveys while also being an adorable waifu. The woman practically can man handle me if she wanted too! But she doesn't. She takes care of me. When I was in the ER with my car accident. I was scared and afraid. Alone. But when those curtains slid to the side to reveal her behind them. It was the entrance I was waiting and hoping for. She raced to edge of the Hostpital bed and hugged me. She was there for me. She IS there for me. And I am grateful for my amazing human being. Or gremlin. Waifu. Nerd. Bepis. Robin<3 So in short. There is a special someone. Whom I care alot about. And love, VERY VERY MUCH❤️ @annethewisoblivious #Iloveyou #you're my person #my moon #gahdamyouhot
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hitechlatte · 1 year
Note
It’s is 7:30 am my battery is at 3% I started purple jacket at around 3 or 4 I’m not sure my battery was on 100% and that’s just a long way of saying HOLY SHIT DID I LOVED YOUR FIC! OH MI GOSH YOU DONT UNDERSTAND THE PURE SERATONIN TEARS AND EVERYTHING ELSE THAT FIC BROUGHT ME? AND THE SECOND ONE? I MEAN ONLY THREE CHAPTERS YET OOOH MI GOSH- I PUT RELATIONSHIPS WITH APRIL? GOLD OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH SHELLFOD? ABSOLUTELY GOLD THE BROTHERS BEING THE SWEETEST? THE WWHOLE IDEA? G O L D I- I just thank you it was exactly what I needed it I will be re reading it for the rest of my life- I CANT WAIT FOR MORE UPDATES AHHHH
Okay sorry to bother you I JUST HAD TO TALK TO SOMEONE ABOUT IT AND A thank you again I hope your day is as wonderful as your fic made mine😭💜
Psi had like 5 cups of coffee I apologise for the Caps but I’m just caffeinated sleep deprived and too freacking excited over your amazing writing
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AHHHHH THANK YOU I AM SO HAPPY YOU ARE ENJOYING IT SO MUCH! It's all your love and support that has been mega driving me to put my all into this. You're all so awesome <333333
I can't wait to keep posting updates! Also sorry for the mega delay in this response, but so glad you are enjoying it!
AHHHH THANK YOU! That means so much to hear and again so sorry I took so long to respond to this!!!
Hahaha nah fam I too understand the woes of a caffiene addiction. Also ALL CAPS MAKES THINGS FUN <3333333
THANK YOU! YOU ARE OS NICEEEE
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ace-and-slutty · 1 year
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11, 36, 47, 48, 53
I'm so sorry for the slight delay! Classes just started in earnest and I'm still figuring out how to juggle them both haha!
11. I just paused underworld blues by the mechanisms to answer this ask without getting distracted!
36. My top three dreams are pretty cliche haha, but I'm writer so I'd LOVE something of mine to be published one day!! And I hope one day that one of my plays make it to Broadway. I also want to get married one day. Definitely not a big or expensive thing and at least partially for the tax benefits lol but I do really want it. I want someone in my life that means that much to me and that I mean that much to them.
47. I am such a basic bitch but most people don't see much beauty in my body so if you do I am immediately wet for you. I also really like it if you're taller than me because I've always felt Too Big and it's been a huge insecurity of mine so getting to feel small? I MELT for that. I also love feeling like I've pleased someone or that I've been good for them and I am a SLUT for being marked up. I want to be able to look at my body and see that someone has marked me as theirs in some small way, that I have that connection with them especially if I won't see them again for a while. Also if you praise me a little bit? I am essentially at your disposal haha
48. INTERUPTING ME OH MY GOD. And like if we're both excited, that's one thing! But if you have no interest in me outside of what's between my legs? You're not getting between them sorry. General asshole-ry of course, if we're on a date and you're rude to our server? That's an automatic nope. Same if you don't like animals. Also, phrasing this as nicely as i possibly can, I personally find ageplay really really off-putting and honestly some of the writing is SO CRINGEY holy fuck. Baby talk is NOT SEXY OH MY GOD. also if you have tagged something r4pecock? That's so fucking stupid. Like cnc is totally valid and I'm even into it to an extent. But I can't take you seriously when you write like that.
53. Top one is definitely my cat Antigone!! She features in several of my nudes because she's nosey as fuck and I love her SO much. Second, another basic choice but I have a really lovely family and some really good friends (one friend stayed with me in the hospital for TEN HOURS holy shit). Third is carbs my beloved. Especially pasta I mean have you had pasta??? Al dente texture makes the Autism brain go happy brrrrr. Fourth is writers because novels AND podcast AND fanfic have gotten me through some really really rough times. They've all really helped so i don't want to limit it to one kind. And lastly is this blog! I'm trying to rebuild my confidence in my body after a couple of things kinda shattered it and believe me when I say I cherish every friend I have made, every kind word, every post celebrating bodies out of the norm like mine, it means the world.
Thank you so much for the ask!
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leejungchans · 2 years
Note
hi this is basically a fic JSMDNSM
thinking of starring with actor!lee chan in a drama (remember when people were saying the guy from business proposal looked like chan in that one scene <3) 🤔🤔🤔 he was pretty easy to get along with and he always tries to make sure you're not uncomfortable in any situation or scene you're filming, whether he's in it with you or not 💖💖💖
eventually your relationship with him gets an upgrade from just co-workers to very close friends who start goofing around on set together and it suddenly gets hard to stay serious in serious scenes when you're facing this dork 😔 but simultaneously you find your acting has become more natural now that you've grown comfortable with your lead partner!! and somehow everyone else among the cast and staff never fail to mention how good the chemistry between you two is, both on-screen and off and it's become a hot topic among the viewers 🤗 but at some point you start noticing how the feelings you're "acting" for a romantic scene with chan starts lingering even after the director yells "cut!" and as it progressively intensifies you still find your heart aching for someonething even after you've arrived back home,,,
it drags on until the day comes when you have to film an emotional scene with him: standing outside, getting soaked in the rain, screaming at each other, you're both crying but you're so sure yours are real as you your character confesses their love to him his,, the silence that comes after is part of the script but it only hurts you more knowing that the "i love you too" from him is too 😞💔 you hear him say it, you're supposed to stop sobbing and look him in the eye before running into his arms to kiss him but for some reason you can't stop crying ☹️ you hear the "cut!" and someone call for a break in the distance but you don't move from your spot, even as you feel a hand rest on your head and you know exactly who it is from how many times he's messed with and ruffled your hair, both as his character and himself
he's smoothing your hair down, patting your arms and shoulders, whispering how good of a job you just did,,,, he even took a towel from one of the staff to wrap it around you (not that it would do anything considering how drenched you are but he's trying okay—) and bc i am horrible at writing kiss scenes i will speedrun this part JDKSJSJS after you calm down, he asks you to look up at him before he cups your face in both of his hands and tells you again that you did amazing and you're speechless bc holy shit he looks so good up close like this staring at you like THAT and oh my god is he moving closer why is your face also moving oh and you've both closed your eyes and 😚
me, actually the director: [whooping in the distance]
will end this here bc i also hurt myself with this 😇🙏 i think i also made the bf cry ?? 😭😭😭
- 🌼
HI BESTIE IM ACTUALLY KICKING CRYING SCREAMING BC I LOVED BUSINESS PROPOSAL SO MUCH SO THIS WAS A TARGETED ATTACK 🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️ I AM GATEKEEPING LEE CHAN FROM ALL OF U HES MINE </3 i’m literally this close 🤏🤏 to crawling in a feral position on the ground and crying i wish i was kidding </3
omgomgomg and he’d kiss you so tenderly while you’re both still drenched from the (fake) rain, his hands soft against your cheeks while he pulls you impossibly close until there’s no space between you two at all. when you finally separate he uses his thumbs to gently wipe away your tears, feeling a twinge of pain in his heart at the partly-hopeful, partly-pained look in your eyes as you whisper “is this real?”, preparing yourself for heartbreak in case the kiss was him acting on impulse while still in character. except he rests his forehead on yours, his thumbs still brushing against your cheeks comfortingly as he whispers back, “it’s real, this is real.” (bonus if the cameras start rolling again at this point and a cut eventually makes it into the episode, bc even the best acting couldn’t replicate the genuine affection that was in both your eyes.)
also hi 🌼’s bf waves allow me to cry with you
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thessalian · 1 year
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Thess vs Two Cakes
So the theme of today’s exploration of video games is “Like X But I Like It More”. Because my brother-from-another-mother has basically looked at the week I’ve had like, “This is burnout and unhappiness and I like my umsibling and Forever DM not to burn out please so I will throw Zen games in that direction and hope it helps”, and as well as having ... well, quasi-Zen, honestly ... it’s given me thinky-thoughts.
Kingdoms and Castles, for example. It’s kind of like what would happen if you crossed Sim City with the latest Sid Meier Civilisation game, and made it cute. Like, “Look over there! Go get those resources so you can effectively build your town and make your citizens happy! Your citizens have to be happy or they’re going to balk at your taxes. Oh, yeah, and occasionally a building is going to catch fire for no reason”. But they have a setting that means you don’t get attacked by Vikings, which is nice. So when I don’t feel like Laying Siege To Germany (it’s an in-joke; don’t ask), I have a thing that lets me do a similar thing in a kind of chill way. I do miss the Sim City ability to just go, “I don’t like this town anymore - EXTINCTION EVENT TIIIIIIIIIIIME!”
The most recent one is Story of Seasons: Pioneers of Olive Town. Which is ... well, it’s pretty much literally Stardew Valley with better graphics. I mean it. Seriously. That is exactly what it is. Though with the better graphics comes a few more bits of fun. Like, I get a pet. So I have a Scottish Fold named Muffin, who I can actually take for walks. So, like, if I don’t want to be charging through town holding an axe or a hammer or a fishing rod or whatever, I can just grab the leash and take a walk through town doing my various chores ... with Muffin on leash. It’s adorable.
Now, see, I have Stardew Valley. You’d think that I’d be all like, “I can already do this; what do I need this expensive version of it for?” But the little differences just make it, for me. I like the better graphics. I like the 3D approach. I like having a pet that I can take on walks. Honestly, I like not having to take a weapon down to the mines with me whenever I go. And I figured out the crafting a lot faster too. Which just goes to show that you can have games that do the exact same thing as games already out there because a) someone might engage better with a different presentation, and b) ... well, the “HOLY SHIT! TWO CAKES!” effect. I have so many farming sim games and now I think I’ve found the one I actually just ... like.
It’s a similar premise to the turn-based, D&D-based RPGs, at least for me. Like, I don’t know how I’d feel about Pathfinder (maybe I should throw it back on my wishlist and find out), but I do know that I did not really feel it with Baldur’s Gate 3. It’s the kind of big that requires a more flexible DM than AI will ever be, and honestly I don’t like the companions that much. I get that it’s supposed to be edgy ‘poor little meow-meows’ or whatever terminology we’re using now, but I guess I prefer a set-up where the party members ... actually ... like each other? Where I don’t feel like I’m picking sides every time I talk to a companion? DA2 did “companions at odds with each other a bit” way better, if you ask me. So if I want turn-based D&D-based RPG, I play Solasta instead, where the mechanics (and story areas, frankly) are more forgiving, and where the party kind of has to get along since it’s entirely created by the player so they can’t do “I have a specific prejudice against This Member Of The Party”. (Not that they’re entirely without personality, the Solasta characters; it just goes by the personality traits you picked out for them according to background etc.)
Right. I have an entirely free day owing to Saturday Shenanigans being called on account of scheduling issues (it’s part of the package, I guess, but also good because after the week I’ve had, a whole weekend off feels like exactly what I need), and I have video games. I just need to pick which one. Which is the hard part. But I did manage to get another level-up done for the Cupcake Coterie, two if you count my own. Which I kind of have to because this is about to get hilarious. The DM PC who’s thankfully more PC than DM most of the time? Well ... she just hit level 10 Bard in her somewhat insane dual-class. Which not only means the full complement of Expertise (ask her to lie for the party. Please. Seriously, her stats are ludicrous. And also she’s never getting snuck up on again), but Magical Secrets. Which means two spells from any class. And she’s a College of Swords Bard married to a Paladin (or a Not-Just-A-Paladin, but still).
Alisaie’s getting smites.
Heeeeeeeeeeheeheeheehee.
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littlelambdrgnfly · 4 months
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Ok since you reblogged that one post I hope you know I reread The Sum of Them for the 3rd time, maybe like a month ago, up until the last chapter and i never finished it cause i didnt want to experience it ending again (if that makes sense), i wish it never ended. I wish they could play baby games forever but its so important it does end because the ending is soo beautiful but so devastating, and it's beautiful because its so devastating, and my heart cant take experiencing that again :'-(
i already sent a message on here saying that your fic was the first fic to make me cry, possibly the first piece of LITERATURE in general to make me cry (i could be wrong but i cant remember any piece before that), and it made me cry 2 times when reading it for the first time. It is truly my favorite piece of McLennon fanfiction, but the only reason i dont fully consider it mine is that if someone were to ask me, it'd be too taboo/freaky to say but its truly one of the most heartfelt and complex ways ive ever seen anyone portray John and Paul while also feeling completely accurate and realistic. My god. And i love so many of your other fics too but The Sum of Them really means so much to me and I cant even say that enough. i wish you could just live as me and be inside my mind to fully grasp how much of an affect it had on me, I dont think i will ever be able to explain it sadly </3. But just know out of every McLennon fic ive ever read (and ive read many), THAT one is my very favorite out of like 100+. The way you characterize them is just so completely different from any other fic ive read and its so intimate and raw and holy shit i dont even have the words. Sorry i know im rambling at this point but I just think about it a lot! Also your fics are the only fics i enjoy anymore, (recent) beatles fics have gone down the drain in my opinion and yours are the only ones i can be satisfied with because, as far as im concerned, anything you write is automatically in-character for them after reading The Sum of Them lol x) thank you so SO much for writing cause it's truly exposed so many of my own desires and hidden , sensitive parts of myself that couldn't be excavated any other way without your work 💖
Dude... this is legitimately one of the best comments I've ever gotten. I wish I could memorize all of this and replay it for myself whenever I'm feeling blue. Thank you so so much, it means the world to me! I think all writers insert their own thoughts and emotions into their work, and I definitely do that in all of mine, but especially The Sum of Them. This fic is basically my wishlist of things I would do with a partner, as well as coming to better terms with my own kinks, so I'm glad it's been able to resonate with people. I'm also glad that I managed to keep John and Paul in character, even if John is crying every other paragraph lmao! I totally get what you're saying about wishing I could experience what you did, I wish I could too. Sometimes I reread my fics with the mindset of someone reading it for the first time, but it's just not the same. I'd give my left tit for more writers on my level or higher who wrote bottom!John or even ABDL fics, I swear. I don't read a lot of fics these days, but I'm usually disappointed whenever I check the Beatles tab. I'm also really really bad at remembering titles and author names, so I never remember what fics that I like! Thank God for bookmarks. I definitely understand not wanting to tell people that this is your favorite fic though, lol! I've been writing Beatles fics for a long time, but I created a new account on AO3 when I started writing these fics. I'm comfortable talking about this stuff, but only with the help of an alternate profile. I'm really really happy to help people explore this side of themselves though-- too often fics like mine are just really gross over-the-top and completely unrealistic portrayals in my opinion, and I guess I wanted to bring something sweeter and more realistic to the table. <3
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loveletters4teo · 4 months
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hi teo!
i'm coming home soon, yipee!
we're spending the new year's eve together, yipee!
actually, give me a moment. we're spending the new year's eve together? i'm spending this year's new year's eve with a girl? and get this, they're also my girlfriend now. WHAT! my girlfriend? early january dana would never believe you, holy crap.
like i've always told you, i never saw myself in this kind of relationship. i never thought i would find a love so nice, so supportive, freeing, fun, inspiring, and every single good word that exist in this world. you really took me by surprise and came at unknown time, then bam! you rocked my world, teo. big time.
i was just dreaming about you. i spend every single midnights of mine thinking about how nice it would be to have someone love me like i do, to be with someone who could understand me in so many ways—that we even get to geek together, WHAT! i know, i know. it really is crazy, what the heck. i still cannot believe it.
you have shown me many things that made me learn, understand, and love being human; like learning who i really was and how to love my life. we both came from a time that didn't treat us so well, but you still shine like a bright sun. i know you wouldn't shine the way you look in my eyes most of the time for you are only a human, but your unwavering perspective about life has changed me and continues to change me.
the literal sun to my moon. how could you ever love life when it treated us so harshly? when we have these baggages that we still carry on our backs up to this day? that when we finally found comfort, we are miles away from each other? in every question that my brain throws at you, you immediately respond with so much warmth. how could i ever be you? right, i wouldn't. you are you and i am me. you are not a literal sun either to continuously praise either, but i believe that's what makes it special. we get to take turns on letting each other know how much we mean to each other, like how the earth and the moon orbits around the axis of the sun—resulting to let us see that the sun goes down and it's the moon's turn to shine, and when the moon goes down? it's the sun's turn to shine. how about you, teo? what do you think?
who would've thought i would be able to say sappy shit like this? definitely not early june dana, and not early january dana. i would be so surprised to see where i currently am now, but i would be really thankful—like i am right now. (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡ thank you, teo. thank you for coming to my life, for loving me, for choosing me, for being mine, for everything. man, i truly cannot wait to tell everyone that you're my girlfriend! zooming with my bike as i make my way home  with a boquet of flowers strapped on my back, ready to deliver it at your doorstep and kiss you as soon as i see you. WHAT!
here's to many more months that we will spend together this 2024! and maybe someday, i'll get to meet you sooner than we both expect. who knows!!!! which is why i'm really excited. i am so excited about the challenges we'll face, more heart to heart talks and many more questions we'll get to ask each other, and many many more. i just can't bring myself to name it all yet.
and of course, you have another song to listen to from me. teehee! i hope you'll like it. ✧⁠◝⁠(⁠⁰⁠▿⁠⁰⁠)⁠◜⁠✧
i love you, teo! i cannot wait to talk to you again soon. see you! 💛💙
sincerely yours,
@loveletters4dana
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taxfraudhousewife · 8 months
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hey it’s me i miss you and i think about you every day but especially on my birthday and i’m sorry im so much older than you but haven’t done anything with my life it’s going pretty downhill and i’m trying to do stuff that would make you like happy or whatever but it’s not working i think i caught the cossack curse and im a real fuckin piece of shit now and everything went apeshit after you ate shit and im addicted to nicotine now like super addicted and i always wonder if you would vape and i assume you would anthony and nate do and bren used to and at lana’s birthday party they tried mine and they were grossed out cos it was just menthol and they like the really sweet ones and bren needs a liver and it’s a whole thing and you can’t see this so i don’t have to explain but he started working a lot more after you ate shit and he only came home like at christmas and easter sometimes and he texted back sometimes but you know how the rigs be but yea i think he also caught the cossack curse and he did be drinking and you know how he’d be drinking and like a year ago he almost died because ????? he was like shitting and throwing up blood and they left it for a really long time because nat be like nat and that was a whole thing and it was really scary but everyone came and camped out at the hospital and i wished you were there too and candice’s child was putting her face on the hospital floor and shit and candice has two kids now and garret has one and they’re all pretty fuckin cute and i think you would like them and nate doesn’t want kids and i don’t think his gf likes us but she’s pretty okay and i hope you’re somewhere but i think you’re nowhere but please be somewhere i can go too please i have to apologize irl i’m literally going insane i’m losing my marbles over you fuckin haunting me may as well still be here i made a fake you in my fake universe because i have a fake universe and he dies like you but he comes back in someone else but it just drives me even more crazy i can’t let you go i can’t do that shit i won’t unless you explicitly ouija board me to because holy shit what if you really are nowhere and the only place you exist is in peoples memories what the fuck am i supposed to do with that
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