#Also- no I'm not being transphobic I'm literally trans and talking about my experience

[999deadblog999]

I'm not gonna lie, I feel like I have a problem with the term 'abusive people.' I'm not huge on the indication that they're just like that, as a person, and even if they tried to change, they're 'still an abusive person'

I absolutely don't intend to erase anyone's experiences-I'd be erasing my own too if that were the case. However, doing dbt and learning how to frame things in a healthy lense... It's not helpful to me in my healing to see things phrased like that. It just feels weird. I've hurt people before and not realized it- and they turned and leveraged the idea of 'abusive people' against me and told me I would never change, and that fucked with me for years. It still does sometimes. Even when I'm doing great, being social, and working on myself, it's hard to get away from seeing that drilled at you while you're trying to sincerely apologize for your behavior.

I've never found a situation painted with broad, unforgiving strokes to be compassionate or helpful. It just twists your thinking into a more 'them VS us' view of the world, which is precisely the type of black/white thinking that dbt therapists generally try to get you away from.

Everyone has the capacity to heal. Whether they act on it or not is on their own accord.

#Clavikiss personal #Im just frustrated with seeing that in trauma healing communities and I'm like... :/ #It's just a different type of weaponization. People are just people. And sometimes people can get real lost and be really shitty. #Sometimes they're remorseless and not interested in don't better. My birth family is like that. I get that. #My biggest prob with it comes in when ppl use it to assert their ableism against ppl with stigmatized mental health problems #Which seems like it happens quite a lot unfortunately #And it's precisely that type of thinking that led an older trans woman to abuse myself and my boyfriend-she was convinced one or both of us #Have NPD. And sure #One of us does #But turning around to be unremorsefully shitty towards with that others won't heal the trauma she acquired from her abuser. #It left us with even more trauma we'll have to unpack with a therapist that'll hear us. #It perpetuates an exhausting cycle. #Hurt people hurt people. Break the cycle. There's never a reason to believe someone is innately shitty because 'it's just how they are' #Everyone has the capacity to heal and be better. #Everyone. #I mean it. #Doesn't mean you have to talk to them #But developing an us VS them mindset won't heal your pain. It'll just make you scared. Or a hurtful person to be around. #Also- no I'm not being transphobic I'm literally trans and talking about my experience #If you come into my askbox with that I will not give you the time of day. #People in minority groups have just as much capacity to be abusive as someone who is not.

[a-faggot-with-opinions]

Responding To The "Aromantic Manifesto"

So I found this aromantic manifesto earlier today and I have many thoughts and opinions about it. Mainly that it's really bad, and it is homophobic. It uses a lot of big words and complicated language to sound smart, but it's not actually conveying good ideas. I'm going to respond to it piece by piece. By the way, I am aromantic, but I am also gay, so that's the perspective I'm looking at this through.

The main points of this manifesto, as outlined in the beginning, are:

"Romance is inherently queerphobic."

"The organisation of queerness around the celebration and pursuit of romantic desires and pleasures reinforces queer oppression."

"Queer liberation must abolish romance as its long-term goal."

Point 1 is bad because the activism for lesbian, gay, and bisexual rights has LITERALLY been all about being able to love whoever we want to. We didn't fight for centuries to legalize gay marriage to have someone say that us loving someone else is inherently queerphobic. Implying that gay love is somehow oppressing someone else makes you the queerphobic one.

Point 2 is wrong because we've been fighting for our rights for literal centuries, and we've already decided that trying to repress our sexualities for any reason, is actually bad and contributing to our own oppression. The only way to make real progress in solving queer oppression is by expressing ourselves loudly. It's okay to dislike amatonormativity. I dislike amatonormativity. But that doesn't give you an excuse to be homophobic.

Point 3 is even more incorrect. That's because a movement that is fighting for people historically marginalized based on who we love isn't going to have abolishing romantic love as a goal. It's okay to be aromantic and not want romance. The problem comes in when you try to force everyone else to repress their romantic desires because you simply don't like it. That's bad.

The next part is extremely insulting to me as a trans person. They compare gay men wanting to date other men and not wanting to date women to gay men wanting to date trans men. Newsflash, assholes: trans men are men!

If straight people can’t help who they love, then neither can gay people. Nor, one might suppose, racists and transphobes, and people who find disability and fatness unattractive.

This is an obvious homophobic argument. They're implying by this that gay men not wanting to date women is the same as gay men not wanting to date trans men, implying that men who don't love women are misogynistic. It's transphobic to compare the experience of being gay to transphobia. Tell me you've never spoken to a trans person in your life without telling me.

Queer oppression is not just the experience of prohibited desire. It is also the experience of hierarchical and violent desire. It is also the experience of undesirability.

What the fuck are they even saying right here? Queer oppression is literally about the experience of prohibited desire and the lack of experience of expected desire. I can maybe understand where undesirability comes into play, since especially as a trans person I get cis people trying to equate my sexual attractiveness with my worth as a human being, but experiencing hierarchical and violent desire?

This reads as someone saying that queer romance is inherently evil and we're oppressing ourselves and we're totally at fault for our own oppression. QUEER ROMANCE AND SEXUALITY ARE NOT INHERENTLY EVIL AND SAYING THAT THEY ARE IS HOMOPHOBIC, IT'S 2023. Why is this even a hot take?

The next section talks about the "privatisation of love," which is a model for why they think that queer activism has been missing the entire point. Let's see what this author has to say about that.

While the domestic sphere fashioned by heterosexual kinship relations has been historically designated as private life, queer intimacies have instead been regarded as a matter of public concern due to moral panics associating them with predation and perversion throughout history.

This is a very sloppy, incomplete reading of the way that homophobia works. I'm not going to get into my theory of how homophobia works in this post, but anyone who's actually experienced homophobia in their lives will tell you that this ain't it. For one example of how that's incomplete, in recent years queer people have been encouraged by society and especially the right to hide our queerness and abandon our culture in favor of mainstream society. This isn't trying to make us a matter of public concern, it's trying to make us disappear. This isn't how oppression works.

This next section focuses on how romantic love is allegedly used as a hierarchy.

People who regarded as romantically attractive are invariably upward-mobile, white-proximate, gender-appropriate, able-bodied, slender/muscular etc.

Maybe. Just maybe. That is just a reflection of how society views people who aren't white, aren't gender conforming, are disabled, and are fat. Racism, transphobia, ableism, and fatphobia weren't invented by romance. The way that romance in our society works simply reflects those things that already existed. "I just find them unattractive" has been an excuse to discriminate against people for ages. That isn't because romance is inherently THE hierarchy, but instead it's because it's used as an excuse.

Often, calling romantic partners “compatible” just means their placements on the romantic hierarchy are relatively equal in privilege. Calling romantically unattractive people “compatible” with each other, on the other hand, easily sounds condescending.

I don't have much to say about this. This is simply not how romance works. While compatibility is not a great concept and I have critiqued it before, this ain't it.

Queer romantic ideals remain incredibly heteronormative, only celebrating the most privileged and “compatible” of queers and condemning more marginalized queer people all the same.

This quote is really interesting because it's pointing out a very real issue with society (the fact that society encourages assimilated queers) and tries to blame queer activists for it. No, we do not want to assimilate. Society wants us to assimilate, and some of us try to do so. However talking to most queer activists will reveal that we don't want to assimilate. We want to be treated with basic respect.

Queer romance does not resist heteronormativity as much as it assimilates queer desire, making us hold on tightly to whichever relative privileges we have and hate ourselves for whichever we don’t.

Hello? This is projection. This is exactly what the person writing this manifesto has been doing the whole fucking time.

By peddling the illusion that romance can be made queer, heteronormative capitalism forces queer people to try solve their problems of undesirability and unhappiness privately by finding the “right” partner, rather than directing their anger towards public action.

Gay people in the past got into romantic relationships that often got us killed. Did we do that because of heteronormative capitalism trying to force us to find someone? No. What the actual fuck are these people even talking about.

We propose aromanticism as a counterpublic that responds to queerphobic violence by mobilising public resistance instead of escaping inwards. Aromanticism is a principled commitment to finding radically nonviolent ways of relating to others.

There's so much to unpack in this quote. Firstly, the author believes that aromanticism is a choice. It is not. I was born aromantic and even if I choose to get into a relationship that does not make me any less aro. This is also implying that (gay) romance is inherently violent, which is Homophobia 101.

If you already have a romantic partner, we are not asking you to “leave” them, but to aspire to love them in a different, queerer way.

There's no such thing as more or less queer. If you're queer, and you love someone, congratulations, that's queer love. It doesn't become more queer if you call it something other than romance.

I'm not going to go over the last part, but this last quote is some icing on the cake of homophobia we've just eaten.

Just be aware that similar hierarchies of desirability exist in sex as in romance.

It shouldn't be a hot take in the year 2023 that claiming that all sex is bad is a very culturally Christian thing to do, as well as being very traditionally homophobic. Sex negativity is weaponized against queer people far more often that it is against cishets.

To conclude, I'm just going to say that this manifesto takes real frustrations that even I have with amatonormativity, and turns them into denial that romance exists, and blatant homophobia. It's also very hard to understand, so if I misinterpreted something, please do let me know. While I do think that aphobia is bad, being homophobic isn't a solution and is just going to cause us to be hated even more, as well as alienating gay aros.

#star speaks #aromantic #aromantic manifesto #long post

[butchbarbieagainstterfs]

i'm so tired of cis women going "do you KNOW how terrifying it is to be a cishet white woman in a first world country and have to potentially share a bathroom with a MALE???"

like my nemesis in hell i can get hatecrimed, harassed or even killed at any time by anyone for any reason at all just because i exist as a trans man. i have to deal with dirty looks being thrown my way because i'm not closeted but also don't pass, people throwing slurs at me and calling me a dirty tranny on the street. i have to listen to a hysterical transphobic weirdo shouting "TRANNIES ARE TAKING OVER THE WORLD! WE HAVE TO STOP THEM!" in a middle of a busy shopping mall. i have to see my trans friends come to me with bruises from assault.

so my answer is, do YOU know how terrifying it is to be trans in a fucked up transphobic society that wants you gone? because i think sharing a bathroom with a stranger who wants to piss isn't as bad as being scared for your life every time you go outside.

Yeah like

a) they do not understand misogyny is not The Only Oppression and that oppression isn’t some competition. They can talk about their experiences, sure, but don’t use them to take away from other people’s experiences.

b) I have literally told one of them before that people like them make me as an afab butch human they would claim is a woman kind of afraid to use the women’s bathroom. More so than any trans woman ever would make me afraid. I was told I needed to seek help basically.

[redditreceipts]

I've been a very staunch supporter of trans ppl for years. I have learned to swallow my discomfort around some of the things said in those circles. When they said it was transphobic for lesbians to not like dick, I bit my tongue. I told myself, "this is just the loud minority" and to be fair I do think that is the minority but still ... as a lesbian I wasn't even able to talk about people who argued that because "it never happens. No one says that. That sounds like a transphobic lie." And I hate the constant assertions that gender is real, innate, and that everyone feels it. I can't describe my own experiences with growing up as a woman without someone telling me that maybe I'm nonbinary ... no thanks I tried that for a while. I respect everyone's gender, or I want to, but apparently doing that also requires me to put that oppressive structure onto myself and act like it's liberating.

The final snapping point for me was a trans woman telling me that I'm privileged for being a cis woman because I've never experienced dysphoria ... except I have. I grew up with intense thoughts about my body and hating my vagina and breasts. It was never that bad but I would often imagine mutilating. I'm in a better place now but I still feel some discomfort over my body sometimes. And when I expressed this to her, she asked me if I was really cis or was still questioning ...

They act like misogyny doesn't exist or something. I just ... I disagree with a lot of radical feminists beliefs or at least I think I do. But for years I have felt like radfems were the only ones even talking about misogyny anymore so idk

Anyway what I wanted to say is that I really like your posts and perspectives and thanks for this blog. I want to learn more and question more and your blog has become a helpful resource to help me start thinking critically about some things

Hey :) thanks for writing to me and sorry for the late answer. 

And yeah, you are totally right. I have also spent such a long time justifying gender ideology because I really wanted it to be right. I’ve excused so much weird behaviour with weird mental gymnastics because I didn’t want to accept that I had been wrong for such a long time. 

The entire “that never happens” thing - and then you show them an occasion where it happened, and they say “well, it doesn’t happen that much”. And yeah, people have suggested me being non-binary as well. I mean, by strict gender definitions I am non-binary because I don’t identify as a woman lmao. Just as the “you’re uncomfortable in your body?? what about fucking cutting it up??!!!!” thing. 

And for disagreeing with feminist beliefs, the thing is that being a feminist is not a package deal. You are not being some sort of heretic if you disagree with certain things, and I know that I am most probably wrong on a lot of stuff myself. If I wasn’t, I would be the first person who is always right in human history. And yes, even in feminist spaces, there is sometimes some sort of imperative to follow every single belief or you are not a “real feminist”. But being a feminist is not an identity, it is an action. It is an action towards yourself, in the workplace, in interaction with other women and men, in your consumption, in your voting, in how you support women in your personal life and how you do political action. So yeah, I would say that it is less important whether you follow every rule of the radical feminist catechism and more important to support women in your life (which includes yourself). At least, that’s my opinion. 

So if you want to learn more, you can look into literally anything Julie Bindel says on Youtube, I really like her perspective. And cool that you’re here! 

[doberbutts]

one thing to make clear is that from what ive seen people aren't saying transmascs are claiming transmisogyny doesnt exist, but kind of the opposite? as in, transmascs are trying to co-opt specific experiences transfems go through when they dont have that same lived experience, and thus cant offer as meaningful insight. this is basically the crux of the whole tme/tma discourse, though i think it'd be easily resolved if we were just allowed to have our own language to talk about our experiences

Oh there's absolutely people saying we think transmisogyny doesn't exist literally right now in the tag.

But you're also right that there's also people saying that somehow by discussing our problems, we're somehow stealing from trans fem discussions about theirs.

I don't really follow the logic of this to be perfectly honest. I think there is very little that trans fems experience that doesn't either have an equivalent experience for trans mascs or that trans mascs don't experience something also terrible in its stead, just like I think that of the other way around: there's very little that trans mascs experience that trans fems don't have an equivalent or equally terrible experience for. I think that is the nature of us both being affected by the specific intersection of transphobia and misogyny, just gendered in specific ways to hurt us as individuals.

Pretty much any post I've seen on this matter has made a lot of assumptions one way or the other that completely ignore the lived reality of both trans mascs and trans fems, and it's very frustrating to try and engage with this problem because it feels more like people dedicated to screaming at each other than anything really particularly productive.

I also think it is impossible to be exempt from oppression. Not being the target doesn't mean the bullet can't hit you if the shooter can't aim for shit.

And it's genuinely WEIRD to me that trans mascs are talking about suicide and rape statistics, medical gatekeeping, rejection from social groups upon coming out, politicians making laws targeting their ability to transition, erasure and also weaponization of trans pregnancy, resources for the most vulnerable of us requiring detransition at minimum for entry if we're allowed in at all, the rates of violence from domestic partners and family members, struggles with male beauty standards and eating disorders... all stuff stemming from transphobic cishet society and the patriarchy... and somehow we're stealing from trans fems or blaming trans fems for the shit that 99% of the time is lived experience coming from being targeted by fucking cis people in the first place.

Like, how is me talking about getting beaten up while being called a tranny and a heshe and getting pantsed and groped to "prove" my status as a girl due to being incredibly GNC and also intersex prior to figuring out that I'm trans co-opting anything from anyone? I'm talking about something that happened *to me*. It wasn't trans women who sent me home with bruises and scars every day, it was my shitty cishet classmates and their shitty cishet older siblings in an ultra-conservative environment. I don't think trans fems are at fault for what happened to me at all? I just don't like to be told that I'm "victimized myself" by talking about my very real trauma as a kid by someone who isn't even a trans fem claiming to be defending trans fems on my posts about it.

[daughter-of-sapph0]

I don't care if you like finnster in private despite he's transphobic content and actions.

but if you come onto my post talking about my lived experiences with transphobic violence and how people attacked me because they believe the exact same lies that finn is (intentionally or not) spreading when you say he's just "playing games with gender", not only are you excusing his actions, you're also literally admitting that the violence that hundreds of thousands of people face every single day, including attacks, doxxing, rapes, and murders, is a justified trade-off for you to watch you favorite femboy streamer.

if someone comes on this post and tries to debate my own life of being trans with me and tries to say that people like me need to face violence because a streamer is funny, I'm straight up telling them to kill themselves.

#dostxt

[papakhan]

Lol why would someone even say that. Like... idk im transmasc im personally mortified of the idea of getting pregnant but... its none of my business if another man wants to be pregnant why would there be any judgement there 😭😭😭 plus the post was very funny people need to stop projecting over a sillay little post. Have a good night king the haters dont get it

the thing is I totally understand trans guys being uncomfortable with the concept of (trans) men getting pregnant. In our society its a very gendered concept, it gets fetishised by weirdos online all the time and to a lot of (especially queer) afab people its strongly associated with control and abuse. I totally get it. That was me not so long ago but after a lot of research I became more comfortable with it because I want to have children one day. I shouldn't have to expose this part of myself as a defence against people calling me transphobic when I am literally trans and half the fight for trans people is "my body my choice"

what gets me is that the tumblr fallout community gets in this fucking argument allll the fucking time over whether the fallout universe should be "dark and gritty and ~realistic~" in regards to Everyone being transphobic Or if the wasteland should be some kind of trans haven without the binds of society. I personally lean on the latter and get a lot of comfort out of the idea that the Great Khans specifically are a bastion of trans joy and experience and to them women having dicks and men giving birth is just. normal.

the end goal for trans people should be to de-gender concepts like pregnancy and penis but we're never gonna fucking get anywhere if trans people project their dysphoria onto each other and start self-flagellating themselves whenever someone steps out of line or makes a stupid joke.

And yeah this is an overreaction to someone critising a stupid post of mine but I'm more mad at the wider culture of the fallout community (and tumblr) regarding this topic because like I said shit like this keeps happening. part of my job is about educating people about trans bodies and saying shit like "don't assume who can and can't get pregnant" and trying to help fellow trans people find comfort in a country that's actively trying to get them all murdered. To then log onto tumblr dot com and get called transphobic because I said I love headcanoning Papa as trans and him being able to deflect the Legion's misogyny because of his transness is like a slap to the face. you guys are meant to be the transgender love website what the fuck are you talking about?? Also Saying that I'm enabling transphobia by allowing people who arent trans men to reblog my post is also stupid and for the record most people in my notes right now are either trans people who are genuinely agreeing that Papa is trans or ghost fans who think I'm talking about their band (but are still trans and still agreeing).

sure maybe I should have put a trigger warning on the post or something because it might trigger someone's dyphoria, but just say that. Don't act like I'm the problem and that I'm too stupid to recognise internalised transphobia and calling me "too comfortable with joking about trans bodies" when 1. I wasn't joking About trans bodies and 2. ITS MY FUCKING BODY

My joke was about how Caesar cant handle Papa being trans. it was a joke about how society cant handle trans people who they can't clock. it was also a joke about how Papa comes from a society where transness is so normalised that he wrongfully assumes that its something everyone can do. At no point was I "nasty about trans bodies" like this person claims I was. In fact I think that pretending that I was says more about how they view trans bodies than it does about how I do, That I can mention trans pregnancy and they automatically assume I'm fetishing or being disrespectful.

anyway. that's a lot of shit. thanks for letting me ramble and tucking me into bed so sweetly <3

#ask to tag #txt

[trans-axolotl]

i am so sorry if this is the most ignorant shit you’ve ever heard—that long post about how the trans community isn’t inherently safe for intersex ppl—can you outline the harmful, like, ideas? phrases? intersexist talking points that you’re referencing? again i’m rly sorry, for some reason your intersex questions tag won’t show up for me but if you’re willing i’d love to maybe know what phrases or words i should look for to call ppl out on. obviously feel free to tell me to eat shit. i appreciate ur time thank you v much

you're totally fine anon, I'm usually open to most questions when I can tell that people have good intentions :)

So I'm gonna list out a lot of shit but I do want to clarify that it's not only trans people who do this stuff; cis people are horribly intersexist as well. I'm just going to be talking about some specific intersexist things I see more often in trans spaces and also because my audience online is a lot of trans people.

A huge thing is I see a lot of trans people saying that they "want to be intersex" or "wish they had an intersex body." This is an issue for a lot of reasons, because it feels fetishistic, is ignorant of what intersex actually is, ignores the fact that being intersex means you're going to face a lot of oppression, and generally contributes to stereotypes that intersex is like some mythical third sex where you perfectly have a mix of all your characteristics in a gender-affirming way.

Faking being intersex. I haven't seen this shit as much online in a while but this honestly was a kind of big issue in some of my online circles like 5 years back and I still see it popping up every now and then. I don't think I need to explain why this is bad.

Literally just using slurs. I see wayyy more dyadic trans people than I should saying "hermaphrodite" when that is not a slur that dyadic trans people can ever reclaim.

Saying stuff about "AFAB bodies" or "AMAB bodies" or generally talking about sex assigned at birth and assuming that means people have certain body parts or experiences. Not all people who were AFAB have a uterus, not all people who were AMAB have a penis. Generally, I see a lot of trans people making generalizations about the "transmasc or transfem experience" in a way that doesn't leave room for intersex trans people who have different experiences with transition or different ways of understanding their trans identity. Acting like AGAB tells you anything more than what is assigned at birth is a problem, because it excludes intersex people who have different bodies, sex characteristics, lived experiences, all that.

Saying really harmful shit about our bodies, whether that's about body hair or genitalia or our voices, or anything. I've had a lot of dyadic trans people say weird shit to me that I think they think is complimenting me but is just really fucked up. People make weird offensive comments about my body hair and will just say a lot of invasive stuff about my body that is not their business. Asking invasive questions about my genitalia, demanding to know what's in my pants, that sort of stuff.

Specifically harassing a lot of intersex people of color and saying racist shit to them when they speak about intersex topics. This is something I've seen a lot irl and also on tumblr, and people specifically have targeted intersex poc on here and said really racist shit to them if they call people out for saying intersexist stuff.

Getting involved in intracommunity discussions about whether or not intersex is LGBTQ and ignoring intersex people when we speak on it. Our relationship to the LGBTQ community is intersex people's business and we all have a lot of different thoughts on it, and too many trans people speak over us on that.

On the flip side, always leaving us out of conversations where we are relevant (like reproductive rights, lgbtq bills, some types of discrimination, medical abuse, stuff like that)

Only bringing up intersex people when they're arguing with transphobes. Way too often i only see people bringing up intersex issues when its like "Take that transphobes! People with XXY chromosomes exist so you're wrong!" And it's like yeah, that's true, but it's shitty when y'all only bring us up when we're a convenient talking point and then don't know shit about what our activism is, what issues are important to us. It feels exploitative to only use our issues when convenient for you and then not pay attention to us the rest of the time.

Currently a lot of people are ignoring the way transphobic bills are also intersexist. People don't realize that all the things they're saying about "It's so easy for cis kids to get hormones, why is it so easy for cis kids but it's hard for trans kids!!!" is ignoring the fact that most of the cis kids who are "easily" getting hormones are intersex kids who are put on hormones in a way that is often coercive and is trying to "cure" being intersex. All these transphobic bills have specific exceptions to enable intersex medical abuse and it isn't cis people being lucky, it's intersex people being abused.

In general, trans community will ignore intersex exploitation when it's convenient. This one I'm less mad about because I don't think that even a lot of intersex people know this, but the history of how gender-affirming surgery and transgender clinics have been created in the US is really not great. Like obviously gender-affirming surgery is great and I want gender clinics to exist and trans healthcare to be easily accessible, but a lot of transgender healthcare was borne out of intersex medical exploitation. Look up John Money and the John Hopkins Gender Identity Clinic for a particularly bad example. This isn't trans people's fault at all, of course, but what is an issue is when I see trans people unquestionably celebrating doctors who invented trans surgeries, or celebrating the birth of gender clinics without critically understanding the horrible history some of these places have.

Acting like being intersex makes it easier to be trans, or would make it easier to get hormones or be respected by cis people. Most of the trans and intersex people I know have gone through so much shit. I went through hormonal conversion therapy because i was trans and intersex, which was literally so fucked. Because I was both trans and intersex, they did a lot of fucked up medical abuse to try to turn me cis and dyadic, and it did not make medical transition at all easier, it made it harder. That's why it can hurt so much when trans people say that being intersex makes being trans easier, because it fucking doesn't.

Also, I've seen a lot of dyadic trans people lately acting really hostile towards intersex organizations that are advocating for an end to intersex surgery because they think it's going to limit access to trans surgery. Dyadic trans people do not get to fucking say that we should stop advocating for ending intersex genital mutilation because it's "not the right time politically." It's always fucking necessary to be advocating to end IGM, and if there was a specific issue with a specific policy that intersex orgs were advocating for that would make it difficult for trans people to get surgery, that would be important to bring up, but most people I've seen saying that stuff are just saying that we shouldn't talk about it at all.

Not educating themselves on intersex issues. Most trans people I know have no clue what intersex is, what our major activist issues are, what the major intersex org for their country is, what the legal landscape of intersex rights is in their country, stuff like that. I'm not saying that trans people all have to be experts on specific intersex intracommunity debates, intersex history, intersex politics, but I do think that dyadic trans people do need to do the bare minimum of education.

Honestly? This is a little more personal but I know so many intersex people who have had bad experiences in their relationships. A lot of dyadic trans people can get weirdly jealous of their intersex partners, which is fucked up when you consider the fact that the things they are jealous of are things that cause us systematic exploitation and abuse. I know a lot of dyadic trans people who also just...trying to think of how to put this. Who are really not considerate partners during sex for some unique needs that intersex people have during sex. Again not a issue unique to trans people but something that I know happens in like most intersex people's relationships so it's good for trans people to be aware.

In general, the way a lot of trans people talk about and think about biological sex is counterproductive to intersex justice. Biological sex is a social construct. Sex isn't real, in terms of there's no reason sex is tied to gender, and also no reason that we've decided some body parts are now all linked together in a specific way that for some reason is going to be sorted into two categories. Chromosomes and genitalia are not some special body part that is entirely different than like, your kidney or your stomach. Biological sex is not real and the sex binary is not real and I see a lot of people talking about stuff like "male" or "female" is a real category that means anything. There is so much diversity and variation of sex even within dyadic people, and I see a lot of trans people clinging to biological sex in a way that is really apparent and also pretty harmful.

This got kind of long but these are some things that really bother me. I also left out most of the overt stuff like actual hate crimes and assault because I think that most people can recognize that as intersexist when that's happening. Again, I don't want to make it seem like it's only trans people doing this shit, but this is the stuff that I am seeing a lot specifically in trans community and some stuff that has some unique dynamics from trans people. And I think that trans people a lot of times will say things about "how close our two communities are" and "how much our issues overlap" when in reality they don't, and most dyadic trans people aren't putting in the work to build solidarity with trans intersex people. Cis intersex people also aren't putting in the work to build solidarity with trans people either, to be fair, and I'm really mad at them too, but I'm talking about this from the perspective of a trans intersex person who's already existing here in these spaces. other trans and intersex people feel free to add on.

okay to reblog.

#asks #actuallyintersex #intersex #trans #okay to reblog #again i dont want you all to feel like im shitting only on trans people #but this is the shit im experiecning in trans community in very particular ways #i could also make a long post with all the htings i hate about cis people and their intersexist stuff #but they don't follow me on tumblr lmao so what's the point. #also cis intersex people i kind of dont want u to jump onto this post #bc half of you all are transphobic in a way that im like i dont trust u

[detransraichu]

damn son I'm literally a transandrophobia poster and I routinely rail against TIRFism and even I think your takes are wack. "AMAB privilege" GTFO with that man. we can lift up transmasc voices and promote trans unity and talk about radfem ingression into trans spaces without making this another AMAB/AFAB oppression olympics thing - that was the whole problem, we should be doing the opposite. stop taking words like TIRF and pretending to be against radfems when you're eating their talking points for breakfast

tirf means trans inclusive radfem, so tirfs actually are radfems! i am one myself. terfs aren't actually a thing - there are definitely transphobic radfems, but radfeminism includes ALL afab people, transmascs included. i'm still veryyy critical of how many handle trans issues. i reblog as much material as i can for my book, which very often includes not-so-kind terms/phrasing, but i do try to use language as respectful as i can in my own posts so i can have actual conversations with trans folks and trans activists, including saying amab/afab and agab instead of male/female.

i do believe that transfem people face unique oppression on the complicated axis of what ppl call transmisogyny. which imo is mostly a mix of sexism and homophobia if someone knows that person's sex/agab, mixed with conditional misogyny if they pass and live their life as afab. if they're outed as amab, they're seen as a gnc man again and with all the violent sexism that comes with that. it's a very complex form of oppression. i know they go through a lot of unique trauma, i'm not denying it.

but i also believe that afab people are uniquely oppressed as well.

if not, then what do you call this if not unique oppression? forced impregnation, abortion/pregnancy issues, period tax, lack of menstruation/uterus research & resources, afab bodies being under-represented in medicine which causes horrific things to happen, afab babies being aborted or killed at birth for being born with a vagina (afab) bc they're seen as lesser, afab upbringing coming with very unique experiences that amab ppl for better or worse will never understand (it is NOT a fucking privilege fuck you), being born with a body type that is very obviously vulnerable against people with penises sexually due to people with bio dicks feeling genital pleasure when they stick it in something, and god knows they will not give a shit about the person below them (look at fucking nature documentaries!!!). they will take off the condom. they will pressure ppl to do anal or give painful blowjobs. they will be creeps or jerks about pregnancy. they will generally put penises above vaginas and amab rights over afab rights, and this shit is DEEPLY ingrained in society. transfems being able to transition is very new, meaning that although they had many struggles before, they were not treated as female and had that (perhaps painful) privilege for MOST of human history. this meant being allowed to open a bank, go places without a husband, not being forced to be impregnated like cattle, not being forced to be a mother stuck in a kitchen, and having SOOO much more generational wealth at their disposal. afab ppl reading abt historical afab oppression is upsetting in a way that transfems will never fully be able to relate to. afab people have a deep, rich, unique culture and faced trauma for thousands of years and us being afab is not a privilege!! we have the privilege of not understanding transfem issues, sure, like a woman not being a lesbian won't face lesbophobia. but then again male-attracted women face violence from men in a unique way!! it's complex af when you're already marginalized

most ppl have an agab-based sexuality too, cis men included, meaning afab ppl are the ONLY *INTENDED* target of cis men's lust and sexual violence and whatever misogynistic bs they say about women, since most cis men are heterosexual. amab ppl face it, and it fucking sucks for them too, but they also only face it conditionally - the very second the cis guy realizes the person is amab, the usual trope is them throwing up thinking back on how they kissed and wanting to punch the "crossdressing pervert" EVEN if the transfem had every surgery possible and looked totally afab. they lose attraction, usually anyway, and physical violence linked to homophobia and gncphobia is the danger transfems then risk. which ofc is absolutely horrible, it can be life-ruining. but not an afabmisogyny experience. they aren't unconditionally sexualized. they are mistaken for afab due to all the surgeries and hormones they took. it's misdirected afabmisogyny due to ppl assuming they were born with a vagina and went thru afab puberty. and then harming them bc they see afab ppl as sex objects and dumb bitches, they see us being born and raised afab as a weakness. they hate us and want us for our sex/agab. most misogyny is about specifically afab people! and yes transmisogyny sucks, it should be called out too for sure. but when fem transmascs pass as transfem post-transition they always are open about experiencing misdirected transmisogyny and talking abt transfem rights etc etc. why can't transfems do the same with cis women and transmascs?? why can't they talk abt how transmisogyny & misogyny against cis women are both bad in different ways? it's always them being victims vs those evil privileged bitches!!

and not just quickly mention it but ACTUALLY speak up about it, uplift afab voices, and be genuinely good afab allies? where are the posts from transfems calling out transfems' afabmisogyny? why can't transmascs or cis women write posts abt it without being met by death threats and terf accusations? i know you think you can only further transandrophobia discussions by tiptoing around the existence of afab-exclusive misogyny. i know talking abt transmasc-unique issues already leads to insane amounts of bullying from afab & transfem folks. but i'm tired of transfems getting away with shitty behavior. i'm tired of cis women being only seen as oppressors against transfems. something needs to change. i truly believe that radfeminism isn't a lost cause, and in fact there are more and more transmasc radfems, and even transfems who are strong radfem allies. people are finally waking up to the realities of afab oppression!! they're finally embracing nuance!

misogynistic behavior from transfems gets brushed under the rug and them being amab is seen as completely irrelevant, anyone bringing it up is a bigot, while afab folks are more than open to their agab being a factor in conflict... it's unfair. as you've shown, transfems and the ppl speaking for them refuse to have nuanced talks abt afab oppression, they view it as "omg we're all oppressed!! shut the fuck up theyfab go bootlick those privileged cis cunts! no one wants to hear about your issues for longer than a minute, only listen to MINE!! being afab is a PRIVILEGE i didn't get to grow up afab stop rubbing it in my face!!!" what sucks is that transfems and transfem allies used to be soooo much more respectful of cis women and transmasc people's rights too. literally NO ONE used to say that being afab genuinely meant you got benefits in society. no one. like holy fucking shit. the past 20 years has been a fever dream!!!

i'm 100% for transfems living their best lives, transition included, and i've heard many horror stories of transfem-specific experiences i'll never truly understand. but it's not a strict oppressor/oppressed dynamic all the time. just because you're not oppressed on every axis of oppression ever doesn't mean you have no struggles. it's fucking insane that i keep needing to explain that to people, like oh my god do y'all not understand that someone can be both privileged and disprivileged in society in different ways, and might need to both have their voices boosted sometimes and ALSO need to take a back seat other times??? this ain't us cis radfems OR transandrophobia activists just playing oppression olympics. this is an oppressed group talking abt their unique struggles and being mocked to hell and back. and it's sad that it's seen as catty and selfish and bitchy. but as an afab woman i'm not surprised lmao.

and yeah you might speak on transmasc issues, but do you speak on afab rights? do you call out misogynistic bullshit that transfems say about cis women too? do you speak on cis women's oppression as well, about how they're oppressed by amab people too and are oppressed in a different way than transmasc or transfem folks, for being afab and ALSO identifying as women? do you mention how afab people are a uniquely oppressed class of people, or are you too scared of stepping on transfem toes bc they're seen as the top of the oppression pyramid and will harass you off the site?? why is saying that amab people as a class have privilege over afab folks on an oppression axis controversial? what about that feels like an attack?

if you're transfem or otherwise are amab and live perceived as afab, and you aren't afraid to recognize that afab oppression is its own thing and deserves its own voice and its own movement, ily bestie. i see you. i see more and more of you lately and it warms my heart. we aren't enemies, we can learn from eachother. thank you for working thru that initial knee-jerk reaction and learning to be a good ally to afab folks. i wish you the best <3 and if you're transmasc you DESERVE to have your voice heard too. you deserve to speak on afab rights and for transfems to want to be good allies to you too!! ALL afab people have unique voices that need to be heard for once!

#asks #this was long af sorry i went off lol #i understand your pov anon bc i had it even just a few years ago i was overprotective of transfems #i acted like afab ppl had talked enough and should stfu like they were the lowest bar of oppressed in society #that transfems had it worse by default and any talk of afab rights would make them dysphoric esp if transfems weren't centered #but EVEN THEN even when transfems are mentioned in afab-specific issues they STILL get mad #it isn't an amab/afab oppression olympics thing #and it's so childish of you to draw that conclusion #but it makes sense bc it's the current sentiment in trans spaces. any talk of afab-only issues makes ppl uncomfortable #any talk of transfems not only being the oppressed but also the oppressor class on a different axis makes ppl foam at the mouth #meanwhile afab ppl in general are more than happy to recognize they're privileged on another axis of oppression generally #why is that? #i'm tempted to say amab upbringing (and afab upbringing making ppl want to shield others at all costs esp amab ppl) #but i know now that i said it ppl will be even MORE pissed off #idk. i'm so glad i started recognizing my own afab oppression as mattering too. that thing where women are seen as talking so much more #than men even though if they talked the same amount? yeah. that still impacts things like this lol. identity doesn't change that #idk. respect one another and give equal space to all marginalized folks. simple easy and free!! and yet!!! #lay text #my words #radblr

[genderkoolaid]

this is so much wild conjecture and just in this one single paragraph*

how do i downplay misogyny? like the conversation was about antimasculism so obviously i was talking about it more. but i never said it was less important at all. this is literally just an opinion. you are assuming i think its less impactful/important because you are already coming into this assuming i hate trans women and everything i do must be done to hurt trans women as much as possible, because thats always the assumption whenever we're talking about transandrophobia or a related issue

its downright fucking conspiratorial, in my opinion, to take my earnest beliefs and turn it into this "actually transmascs want to be the experts on antimasculism AND misogyny!!!". I try to encourage everyone, especially people who were assigned male (of any gender) to give their experiences and opinions on antimasculism. I do not consider transmascs "experts" on it. This is another thing you decided on your own was a fact. You start from the assumption that everything is being done in bad faith and you can just make up whatever facts you want from there

Also fucking "greatly exaggerate the degree to which transmascs are oppressed by misogyny" is just. fuck you honestly. Thanks for proving my point about why this "transphobes only care about your real gender" rhetoric is awful for transmascs. Transmascs have to deal with both rising anti-abortion and rising transphobia, and thats not to say we are more oppressed! But its a major fucking part of our oppression and its unbelievably cruel whenever someone acts like we need to pretend we don't experience it to avoid over-complicating transphobia. Fuck this.

*I want to specify that this is one paragraph of a larger response but I'm not going through all that

#m.

[11-eyed-rook]

Seriously, I feel like this needs to be understood and said more often but...

YOUNG QUEERS SHOULD LEARN MORE ABOUT (AND UNDERSTAND) QUEER HISTORY, BUT OLDER QUEERS ALSO NEED TO MAKE SURE THE EDUCATIONAL RESOURCES ARE ACCESSIBLE TO ALL IN THE FIRST PLACE.

But there's more to it.

And here's where I'm coming from, personally (it'll be a bit long, my apologies, but it should give you a perspctive on what I mean):

I'm 27, pansexual, genderfluid (AFAB; male-leaning overall, experiencing certain forms of dysphoria much of my life), I'm from a country that's somewhat conservative-leaning, used to be a part of the USSR and hasn't had the friendliest attitude towards the LGBTQ+ community or pride events even in recent years. Transphobia and homophobia continue to be major issues here, and due to more older more conservative-minded people using social media, a lot of hateful thinking is spread around, misinformation and literal lies are spread around, and opinions are becoming more extreme in some circles.

Being openly queer is simply not something you can be here safely (even now), even if you happen to know people that accept you.

I don’t think I’ve ever even met/personally known any openly queer people in my country in my entire life, and the only ones I know of at all are either celebrities, or they’re involved in some political circles, and even so, I don’t see much talk about queerness – much of the time the fact is mentioned as a side-note “fun fact/reminder” rather than something important; very few of them ever seem to talk about their own experience of queerness, and even so – in general terms, briefly. That's if they mention it at all, of course...

To put into perspective how deeply closeted I’ve had to be - my own father literally threatened violence (rather, he threatened to end my life) for trying to come out as trans some years ago (and believe me, he’d go through with it, I don’t doubt it). Just for TRYING to come out. I was already an adult by that point. He's always been very homophobic and transphobic, and that has only gotten worse with time.

I started questioning my gender very early in my childhood, without even knowing that being trans is a something that can happen, without knowing that not everybody questions their gender, without knowing why I’ve felt the way I have. I didn't know anything about the LGBTQ+ community until about the mid-2000s, even so, surface-level news, and anything else - mostly from the perspective of extremely homophobic/transphobic conservatives, some trying to ban pride events and making sure that everybody is pulled into the idea of "the gays = bad". I started trying to understand what it meant to be queer/gay once I had internet access and the occasional moments of privacy - I was afraid of asking questions, because I was made to believe that it's "bad" to be this way. Some time later, I’d realize that I have no gender preference when it comes to attraction. I understood myself to be bisexual, at around age 12-13; it was one of the only things I had a word for. I still wasn’t familiar with the trans community. I had no resources I could fully trust. I still was just learning to speak English properly. I had no queer friends. But what I understood is that I can’t express what I DO know about myself, because I’d be in danger.

I had to figure things out on my own. Only when I was about 15-16 years old did I find friends who are part of the LGBTQ+ community, all of them outside of my country. I finally started feeling less alone in my personal experiences. I found out that what I was feeling about my gender, is me being trans. I started to learn terminology I was previously completely unfamiliar with. Yet...

I’m 27. Pansexual. Genderfluid. Most of my friends are part of the community in some way. And somehow, I still know very little about queer history as such. I still don’t know what sources I can trust when trying to learn about queer history. Whatever little I do know, is stuff that “almost everybody” knows to some extent or another. I’ve felt a sense of guilt, because I’m queer, yet, I know practically nothing of the community's history and struggles. Older queers have made me feel inadequate about it, not directly, but in those general callout posts about “NEEDING TO LEARN THE HISTORY”.

Younger queers than myself, know even less than I do.

In the age when LGBTQ+ media is censored in some places, banned in others, completely unavailable to many, even actually illegal in some places, how can you expect every queer person out there to know all there is to know, if you don’t offer a helping hand here or there?

This is a sort of “callout” to older queers than myself; those that know the history or lived it, those that can provide information. If you have resources that you can share with those like myself, please provide them rather than shaming us for “not knowing more”. Some of us simply do not have access to the resources you’ve had access to, to the knowledge you have, maybe even the experiences you’ve lived through/been a part of yourself.

You see how the internet is, and you should know how hard it is to just trust random shit online, especially nowadays. Censorship isn’t helping, either. And this is a problem in developed first-world countries, needless to speak of anywhere else.

Just because we’re born queer, doesn’t mean we’re born knowing our history. What’s obvious to you isn’t always obvious to everybody else.

Be understanding and offer a helping hand when you can (I try to when I'm able to). Some learn sooner. Some learn later. But if you can help somebody learn at all, maybe try to help. Shame isn't an educational tool. Offering otherwise unavailable resources in this day and age, is more valuable than you might realize, even for stuff that might seem like "common knowledge".

I want to understand. Many others do too.

You see the world as it is. Our history is being erased left and right. Save and share whatever resources you can.

#dorian speaks #gender #queer #transgender #LGBTQ+ #LGBTQIA #knowledge is power and we could all use a little more of it

[marcodiazisatransgirl]

this is a response to a post made by a troll a while ago. they decided to call me mentally unwell when I finally snapped at their harassment. If you go back in my blog, you'll be able to find the original post.

Hey so I actually have no idea if this person is still on tumblr, I just wanted to address their points because I'm petty and don't want to leave them with the last word. I vaguely remember there being some sort of drama around this but can't remember specifics. If this sort of discourse upsets you, I'm sorry to bring negativity back to your dash.

Also if you're OP and in a bad place, just don't read this. Fucking block me, pal.

First, Breastforce claimed that their entire interest in this started from Marco in a dress from St. O's. The person asking about Marco in a dress was trying to bait Adam into saying something about the theory.

I addressed this in the original reply. Breastforce is a trans woman who identified with something she saw as potentially trans coded. It was what made her first notice things in star versus. Noticing something insignificant then connecting it to other things is how fan theories are formed. People who are intelligent notice things and make connections to other things. Like how one might notice that ships dip below the horizon instead of disappearing into dots, then use that to extrapolate that the Earth is round.

And yes, they wanted him to address the fan theory, in the same way you baited Daron Nefcy without actually telling her what you were asking about.

Most people who repeat the theory do it because of the dress, not the "dysphoria" (which is actually body dysmorphic, involving obsessive focus on a perceived flaw in appearance.)

Actually, since you weren't around when the theory was big, you have no idea why most people liked the theory. A lot of people joined because of the dress, others joined because Marco didn't like to see her body in the mirror, wore a towel in a traditionally feminine way, prefers to pee sitting down (something that is difficult and messy, I'm told), freaked out when she started to grow facial hair, started using feminine pronouns in certain situations, kept dressing as turdina when she didn't have to, etc. etc. etc. I've actrually already told you this in another post, here, but you ignored that.

I know that you're not going to believe any of this. It's upsetting to see you misgender anything

You can't misgender a fictional character. Literally you can't. There might be problematic and transphobic aspects of continuing on your way claiming a character is cis when they are confirmed not to be, but that's being transphobic, not misgendering. (I'm not accusing you of doing this just to clear that up)

especially when I've been misgendered so many times in the last 6 years.

I don't care. You don't get to use your own experiences to bully others for existing. Instead of projecting your shit onto others on the internet take some accountability, babes. You disliking something because of your own shit doesn't give you the right to harass people. Your options were block the tag and move on or harass and bully people obsessively for weeks. You chose to be a bad person.

Also your comments about my physical state don't help, making a joke out of it is cruel which is how I interpreted it.

I actually have no idea what you're talking about here. Sorry I upset you unknowingly (actually I don't give a shit about you or how you feel as we've established), but how you interpret my words is firmly your own problem. I have already addressed that I neither know, nor care about your physical state. Trying to emotionally manipulate me into feeling sorry for you is immature and petty, and I stand by that.

And being transphobic is another jump to conclusion that doesn't make either of us look.good. I'm not transphobic. I'm transgender and have had years of reflection on iit. Calling me transphobic is like a punch in the gut.

Good. As I've previously highlighted your behavior here is abso-fucking-lutely transphobic. You are being transphobic. You being transgender does not excuse you from being transphobic. Hope this helps. Since you spent weeks bullying my friends, I don't actually care about your feelings.

As far as Daron, all she said was that she always intended Marco to be the type of guy who wasn't hung up on doing some things that are typically feminine without any concerns for his masculinity. It seems from an experience she had when she was young with her best friend who was male. When I asked her if Marco was going to grow up and be a good male role model, she said yes. Twice she did.

Cool? Characters change in the making? Characters are up for interpretation? Ever heard of death of the author? Also what sort of question is "will marco grow p to be a good male rolemodel?" what was she going to respond? "No, actually, she's going to grow up to kill people and be a terrible parent." You asked her a childish question and she gave you a stock response. That means nothing?

Also, and here's the kicker - if Daron Nefcy came up to me tomorrow and said to me "Marco is a cis male" I would say to her "I don't care" and keep headcanoning her as trans, harming no one in doing so. She's trans because I say she is. She's trans because there is a lot of contextual clues that means she can be interpreted as trans very easily. Fuck she's probably my most heavily subtextually trans, trans headcanon. Some characters I headcanon as trans just because of vibes. I don't go into Marco Diaz main tags saying that Marco is trans and everyone is transphobic for having a different interpretation of her character. That would be stupid, hurtful, mean, wrong, nasty... exactly what you did.

I have come to the conclusion that you really haven't been around queer fandom long. The thing is, we don't get stories like this. We don't get to see main characters in disney shows turn out to be trans. We don't get to see ourselves in fiction at all until quite recently, certainly more recently than this fandom originated. Often, the only way we can have trans characters in the things we love is through piecing together subtext clues, often put in by creators throwing us a bone, or being queer themselves and unable to express anything more than tidbits. It's how we function, how we've always funtioned, and being so aggressively and vehemently against that is transphobic. If that's something that upsets you, than you need to educate yourself on queer theory and queer fandom spaces. I recommend starting with Jessie Gender or Philosophytube on youtube.

I won't deny I love the character a lot. I won't deny that some of the crew liked that some people saw themselves in Marco. But even if you look at the storyboard that everyone points to, it was a doll of a persona Marco already distanced himself from except for a royalty payment of $650. It was a capitalist business deal and nothing more. That's all the merch was ever about. A way to give Marco spending money during adventures. It wasn't about some secret "he's going as a she" behind everyone's back. It was all about the money. If Marco really cared about it on the level you theorize, he wouldn't have taken money out of the profits and would have done it in the best interests of the girls.

That's your point of view. You say it was about money and only money, but you can't tell me Marco wasn't emotional when she gave it up. You can't tell me that my icon isn't Marco showing real attachment and emotion towards the Princess Turdina persona. And when she finally gave that persona up, when she felt guilty about "lying", why did that come back after? Why wasn't that the last we saw of Turdina?

It's up to interpretation, which is something you have willfully ignored the whole way along. You might come back with the argument Marco likes drag, and she's just a feminine boy. But that's just one interpretation.

In conclusion I see this is misgendering. While it is a fictional character, some of the ways you've interacted with me have also been along the same lines, about me being transphobic and making light of my physical problems which is hitting below the belt.

No, it's not. It's the only way that queers could see themselves in fiction for years. Also you're projecting the rest. I didn't even know you were trans or had a disability until you brought it up.

At the end of the day, you never addressed my points: feminine men in western cartoons are a dime a dozen, trans women are nearly non-existent. We are harming no one by enjoying a theory that does have evidence to back it up. You, meanwhile, harassed and attacked people for weeks. Not just theorists like me, but people who were just posting fanart. Then, when people got fed up with you, you turned around and announced that I had mental problems.

I hope in the time since this initial drama you've grown up a bit. I hope I'm writing to a ghostblog, the owner of which is vaguely embarrassed about their actions. I hope you've found other characters to relate to, and that you've learned a bit about queer fandom. I hope you have found a canonically cis female character to interpret as a trans guy. I hope you've found real queer rep, since it's become more available. I hope you're doing well, and that you're no longer an internet bully.

Also I'm Australian, mate, swearing is part of my culture.

#discourse

[nagisasstunningpersonality]

what is your opinion on trans nagisa you seem to understand the characters so well i want to get inside your brain

I mean I'll preface that I am cisgender. I understand a few people hold my opinions in certain kind of regard but I don't want to talk over trans people here. If any trans people want to add to the debate on this, please listen to their opinion first etc. etc.

Honestly I don't personally really enjoy the practice of making characters trans. That being said, there's not exactly much trans representation around so I completely understand why it happens. It's kind of a 'don't like don't read' kind of situation for me. Let me repeat, this is PERSONALLY.

Nagisa in particular has a different weight behind it though. I think making him AFAB trans man (which is usually how people seem to do it, though I've seen non-binary too) changes too much about the other characters. It's tricky because I also totally appreciate how his treatment by Hiromi could reflect upon a trans person's real life experience, and why someone might want to explore that.

Making Nagisa AFAB though in a way 'legitimises' Hiromi's behaviour. This is not me saying a parent rejecting their child's identity is in anyway right or good, it definitely is a bad thing, but I do understand why someone could react negatively in that scenario. The thing about Hiromi (in my interpretation) is that she's seriously mentally ill. Nothing about her treatment of Nagisa is meant to make any kind of sense. If anything, speaking of her forcing a younger Nagisa into dresses, I'd argue it makes her actions less bad if she had a reason to believe her child was a girl. I don't think I'm describing this elegantly so please forgive me for that. It additionally kind of tones down the trying to redo her life via Nagisa aspect.

It also makes a loooot of characters actively transphobic. I know there's been some debate on this issue before. I don't want to dip my toes too deep into it, because some people definitely see it as transphobic already. That being said, Nagisa actually being trans would make a lot of characters a lot more malicious in their actions and add a lot more weight.

In addition, I think there's a moral issue of respecting gender identity. Nagisa canonically insists on multiple occasions he is a cisgender male, which is kind of unique. Due to this, I wonder if serious headcanons (ie 'I see this character as transgender') verge on misgendering (of course trans men are men, but this case would still be denying a part of someone's identity). That being said, I don't think AU type discussions have this issue (ie 'imagine if Nagisa was AFAB'). I would be hypocritical if I did considering my most well known fanfic is literally omegaverse, though that's functionally more like writing someone as intersex I suppose.

TLDR is I don't personally jig with it. I also think in Nagisa's case it's not as simple as just a genitals swap over and creates a lot of secondary narrative problems. That being said though, people should write what they want to write, and we should respect that space when it doesn't cause any tangible harm to others.

#ass class #assassination classroom #ansatsu kyoushitsu #nagisa shiota #trans nagisa

[transzilla]

"#but honestly no disrespect if i see anything to do with making a tgirl comptop like its revolutionary im gonna get pissed"

fuck thank you so much for saying this. seeing people glorify not just non-op but even... ANTI-op perspectives and sexuality, and frame lower dysphoric people who want/need SRS as dinosaurs is so depressingly transphobic.

just added extra when you've had trauma FOR being someone who doesn't have sex with the parts you were born with, and even other people in the queer/trans world will try to literally SA or verbally lash out to pressure you to do it. whatever happened to affirming people's transitions and needs yk?

comptop for trans girls and compbottom for trans guys is horrifyingly real and just an offshoot of misgendering and how transphobes always treat us pre-transition. i'm sick of people praising themselves as so revolutionary and queer for expecting me to have the same kind of sex as someone's conservative parents would approve of

I hear you omg I've also had incredibly gruesome experiences with people who can't seem to fathom the idea that I actually don't want to bottom as a trans male LMAO like with cis people it's like whatever ya'll are DEMONS anyway but with other trans people it really catches me off guard how common that sentiment is. it's incredibly disturbing that you'll see the same like entitlement issues and assumed consent and transphobic sexual assumptions in other gay and transgender people .. It feels like betrayal like it really truly does catch you off guard. Like I've had people try to talk me out of being a top like I was fucking lying or something saying like... whatever booboo shit like ohhh no way that's not you, you say yas queen sometimes you're too nice you're too cute I can't see you doing it... blah blah blah.. Like this shit is insane, do you hear yourself??

And like the thing about this inability for queer people to confront their transphobic expectations... they will run away from it seemingly forever!! Like I'll see people try to misconstrue their personal beliefs and make it seem like it's this lib slay because haha wow dude's on bottom and woman's on top. And they're trans. Sex positivity teehee time to assume cause I want this every trans person I meet will want this. All that shit about how they're correct meanwhile they're not taking no for a god damn answer!! Like at least conservative transphobes are just gonna tell it to you straight that they don't see you as a person LMAO there is no subliminal messaging politicizing bullshit. Like  is it really femdom female empowerment when the woman is topping when everyone fucking makes her top and no one considers what she wants? Like wowww that's some feminism right there LMAO

There are gonna be tons of people who will respect you for your preference nd SRS and will be like damn that's really cool but my heart breaks, sometimes, like the amount of lgbt people who perpetuate the same three ringed trans-people-are-pornhub-categories shitshow in a place they're parading as safe. Like it truly does feel like the half-baked offspring of misgendering, like well sure we can do all your pronoun crap but we think you owe us at least this. Like aren't ya'll supposed to be better about this bullshit? Trust no one!!! Lmao.

[optiwashere]

For the behind the scenes ask game, questions 20 and 21 for Magic Mouth?

Oh, another of my favorites! Thanks for asking about this one, anon 💜

20. What is something you wish more people noticed about this fic?

It's hard to answer this since not everyone comments (reasonable btw) but I think it'd have to be Karlach's inner voice. The way she navigates this situation in the fic is all in the actual text and not just her dialogue/inner monologue. She's not hesitant, but she's also kinda dealing with this restrained eagerness because she's not certain why Shadowheart is doing something that she once said was completely off limits. Then, when they have their little chat towards the end and have their love confession, it's Karlach's entire engine debacle reflected in her dialogue. She basically explodes with love. Plus, it matches the love confession of her romance without being literally the same scene, which I always enjoy doing.

21. What is something you didn't expect people to notice or gravitate towards in this fic?

Honestly? This is more of a general thing for my Shadowheart/Karlach fics, but I didn't expect so many people to enjoy t4t Shadowheart/Karlach. Not just the smut aspect of it* but also just the general excitement I saw/heard over the fact that the fics were focused on a t4t relationship. * I only specify the smut because I, and many other trans women, have the extremely fun experience of having to wonder and worry about how we are viewed or simply tolerated in wlw spaces (or in this case, wlw fiction). It's definitely not the same way it was even 10 years ago, but depicting any trans woman sexually always triggers a panic in me over having to deal with the potent cocktail of TERFs, chasers, and/or really loud "political lesbians" that just love to suck the fun out of the room. This isn't tilting at windmills either. I've had the misfortune of seeing people talk about some of my work with really obvious transphobic dogwhistles that impressionable, younger folks just ate up without examination. I'm sure these thoughts and feelings resonate with any trans folks and just any GNC people in general. I'm just speaking to my own experience in the fandom.

#hey you can ask me things! #random rambling about writing #my fic #btw political lesbian means something very specific and it's an extremely baffling way to live your life

[qpr-culture-is]

I know it's not really a confessions blog or something like that but I'm just so confused and lost and I just want to describe my feelings to someone. English is not my first language, sorry for any mistakes

So first of all I'm trans, I think it's pretty important to the story, kinda had a transphobic phase because my country it's not only very lgbtqphobic but our queer community is also very hostile towards trans people, like more than I have seen in other communities, so it's common. Pretty closed about this, tried to come out to some of my friends and classmates almost 2 years ago now, went wrong, don't talk to them and become very paranoid. Not even planning to tell someone about me being trans before a lot of people transferred to our class, they all were added in our group chat and I immediately pin pointed this dude with gerard way as their pfp who then asked to refer to him with he/him only and use other name. Holy shit. I literally never in my life seen an openly trans person, not even a closed one, never interacted with someone also trans irl so it was HUGE for me. Skipped first week of school, was kinda worried that I'm going to be an outcast, but that I finally meet him, and like the first thing he said to me was "wait are you that person with *fandom* as your pfp?" so we immediately connected. I was on cloud nine because he is SO COOL and only a few girls in our class are deadnaming him and it's so nice no one is being mean to him and I think it kinda changed my way of viewing how people will react if I come out to them. Because most people just don't care. Then I gave him my other socials and he saw me using any pronouns and he was like hey! How do i refer to you! Cool! And i told him that I'm actually also trans and he never ever questioned or doubted it even though I'm pretty fem presenting.

So yeah I rambled sorry it was just a really cool experience really cool dude. So the reason why I'm writing to qpr blog it's because I lately started catching feelings for him?? But I'm not in love?? I don't really know how to explain this but for a really long time I was just thinking that I just have a friend crush then that I want to date him and like I knew about qpr and I knew that qpr is way more complex and it's not just the secret third thing after dating and being friends. But like, I want to kiss him and give him gifts in a way that I view as romantic but when he's mentioning dating or his exes I don't feel a thing. Today was weird, I slept for only 3 hours and felt a little bit wonky, so I said a lot of things that were like straight up flirting. And I felt embarrassed and blushed and shit but not in "hehe I flirted with my crush!!" way but more in "holy shit it was embarrassing why did I say it" way. And he also talked about a guy that he has a very weird relationships with for the past 2 years, he said that like yeah we're friends but not really we had some periods of dating but not really and he also constantly flirts with other people including me. And I was just yeah kill him and didn't thought much of it, not jealous or sad that he have something going on with other people, but I still want to date him, but in friends way. So after I pondered about it for a while I think that I just want to have that Secret Third Thing with him. Still feel lost because I never felt like that before and because I think that I'm alloromantic and I was in romantic relationships before so I know how I act when I'm in love with people. With him it's so close what I feel when I'm in love with someone but at the same time it's so different and such weird foreign felling. Woud like to hear some advice for how people realised or what people feel and want in qpr relationships, I know it's different for a lot of people, but I want to hear something from heros who read this wall of text

Giving you a little breakdown of things I have noted;

-You can absolutely be alloromantic and want a qpr/have a squish

-To me it does sound like it may be a squish

-All in all you'll have to make that decision for yourself, and it could very well just be the fact that you've never connected with a person like you have with him before so it's all a bit different for you

And here's a bit of my past experiences

It's really a bit hard to remember since it's been forever, and given I'm aroace squishes have always seemed like legitimate crushes (in a weird way) so keep that in mind.

The last squish I remember having was a little over a year ago. I really connected with the person and they made me laugh a lot. I felt pulled to them in some kind of way. I wanted to spend time with them and I wanted to be called their partner. It was just,,, different than my previous feelings towards friends. Now, if it weren't for events that happened later on, I could have very well been convinced it was a romantic crush (we ended up in a romantic relationship for a bit but my aro ness got in the way and I began to feel very uncomfortable with the whole thing), and am honestly not sure how to differentiate those feelings from that of a romantic crush.

The only other time I can think of having a squish would be quite a while back, and at the time I was completely convinced it was romantic (I had not even really been aware of the aro and ace labels at the time). Once again, the feelings were towards a close friend. They were my best friend in fact, and at the time I really thought we understood each other like nobody else did, and it was almost as if we were very drawn to each other. Contrary to what you noted, there was a bit of jealousy here and there when they were with someone else later on (tho I know believe to be more in a platonic context anyways). And... thats basically all I've got

So those are my main experiences with having squishes, if that gives you an idea of what to expect from one. I'd also like to say that I'm so sorry for taking so long to reply to this! I've been a bit busy the last few weeks and am currently on holiday break now and haven't felt up to doing a whole lot (and keep forgetting to post as well)