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sunnysidekit · 3 years

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Summary: All is fair in love and war. And boxing, too, apparently.

Pairing: Ben ‘Benny’ Miller x F!Reader (no y/n, reader’s boxing nickname is ‘Nyx’)

Warnings: Language, mentions of violence.

Word count: 2.2k

My masterlist

Everyone likes a good mystery. Don’t even try to deny it; whether you like Sherlock Holmes or if you’re more of an Agatha Christie fan, none of us can really escape the allure of a good conundrum every now and again. Some people can stare in the face of their mystery and not recognize it for quite some time, while others can practically smell them from a mile away. Ben Miller is part of, well, both groups.

Personally, he likes mysteries and surprises and such, but his army days have taught him all of those are a bad thing. A mission can collapse after the smallest detail changes, after all. Sometimes those missions are called off; other than the fact that he can’t do his job when that happens, he’s not really bothered by it. But when something catches him and his team by surprise during a mission and they have to get on with it anyway, things tend to… let’s say, not end well for everyone. And that’s gently put, of course.

Which is why when he’s at home between deployments, he likes his simple habits. They provide joy and adrenaline, and boy does he need both to function well. One of those habits is boxing. He likes it because of its simplicity; you punch your opponent, they punch you back, and so on and so forth until one of you stops. He’s good at it, too. Will always says that’s because he practiced a lot on him when they were younger. Ben says he’s the one with the good genes. Their mother was a fighter, too, after all.

The other reason he likes boxing is because your opponents always try to surprise you with a little mystery move. It’s fun for him to figure out how to respond in a split second, and the rush he gets when he does so successfully is almost unparalleled. Today, though, the only real surprise is the sudden appearance of his very own mystery. And, hey, you might know where this one’s going: it appears in the shape of a woman…

Benny whoops when he kicks open the door to his old high school gym’s changing room, but it sounds a bit less enthusiastic than it did after his last match. He knew he should have listened to Will and gone somewhere, anywhere else than back to Red Feather Lakes, but he’s not about to mention it when he can already imagine the smug grin spreading across his brother’s face.

He won, that’s what counts. And it’s not that bad to have done so after what is sure to be America’s easiest boxing match. That just means he’s good at it. The crowd went just as wild as it usually does, even though there were significantly less attendants than two weeks ago. Somehow, none of the arguments he tells himself really convinces him.

“All right!” Catfish says triumphantly from behind him. “Looks like all that training paid off, didn’t it?”

“Yeah…” Benny trails off as his slightly blurry vision comes back into focus. There’s someone sitting on one of the benches, someone he doesn’t know. It’s a woman; her aura tells him she’s all business, but her clothes tell him she also definitely plays. “Who’re you?”

The woman doesn’t respond immediately; only after half a minute of casually typing away on her phone does she look up and meet his eye. “Name’s Val,” she says, her facial expression one he can’t quite place. “And I’m about to ask you something you won’t be able to ignore.”

It’s important to notice that Benny isn’t particularly patient in his post-fight high, something Frankie knows very well. He becomes a bomb of electric energy that, once set off, won’t stop until every single muscle in his body gives out. And he’s about to be set off.

“Val, is it?” Frankie smiles at the woman, swiftly moving his friend to the showers. “Why don’t we talk while he cools down, hm?”

“You’re not the one I want to ask a question,” she says calmly, not taking her eyes off Benny. “You’re a Delta boy, aren’t you? I can see it in the way you fight. It takes regular boxers years to develop such a sensitive, quick response capability.”

“Yeah, and?”

“And that makes me think that oaf out there’s a long way from even thinking of acquiring your skillset. It’s impressive how easily you had him on the mat.”

“Ma’am, if you want an autograph-” Frankie tries, sensing the ticking time-bomb next to him is about to blow, but Val immediately interjects.

“Which is precisely what caught my eye. These men are no challenge for you anymore, but I think I know someone who could be. Should you accept their invitation, that is.”

“Do I know him?” Benny narrows his eyes at her, trying by god to figure out her angle in all of this. She smirks and closes her eyes a few seconds longer than a normal blink would take; touchy subject, maybe? Or perhaps he’s right and he has seen the guy before.

“You might have seen them around, sure. But I doubt you’d remember them.”

“So, what? I say yes and I’ll fight your friend here next week or something?” Benny snatches his towel from his bag and snaps it against the wall in annoyance.

“I’m afraid my friend’s a little more… complex than that, Mr. Miller.”

“Hey, uh, no thanks,” Frankie cuts in, waving his hands as if to dissipate the words in the air. “He doesn’t do illegal fights.”

“He’d have plausible deniability,” Val says with a slight tilt of her head, then turns back to face Benny and hands him a business card. "Anyway, the choice is yours, Mr. Miller, not your friend’s. I don’t need an answer right now. Do take your time to think it over, sleep on it a bit. Once you’re a little more comfortable with the idea, give this number a call. I’ve got a feeling they’d very much like to bruise that pretty face of yours until it looks like a Monet.”

She gets up from the bench and walks out of the changing room without looking back. Benny slips the business card into his jacket pocket, something that catches Frankie’s attention.

“Don’t do it, Ben,” he sighs. “I’m serious. You could get arrested, get your ass thrown in jail. You’ll get kicked out of the army.”

“Stop whining, Fish. I’m not gonna do it anyway.”

Despite explicitly telling Frankie he wouldn’t do it, here he is, standing outside his local gym with his phone in one hand and the curious looking business card in the other. There’s not a lot of info on it, but, hey, what did he expect? That an illegal streetfighter would publish their own name, address and contact info on a bunch of business cards?

There are only two things printed on the grey little card: Nyx, which must be the fighter’s nickname or something, and a phone number. It’s been in his jacket pocket ever since he left his old high school, but it felt like it’s been burning a hole in it the entire time. It’s exactly as Val said it would be. He can’t get her proposition out of his mind, no matter how hard he tries.

She’s right about the competition. They’re no match for him, not the ones here in Red Feather Lakes. And, sure, he could always just sign up for something three towns over, but it wouldn’t matter much. How she found out he’s in the Delta Force is beyond him, though. It’s policy not to broadcast such a position if you want to stay in it. Maybe she has connections in the army…

That’s another thing; his place in the army. It would be gone as soon as he gets caught, and it’s not like he’s got great job prospects waiting for him back home when all he’s done for the past ten years is train to get where he is now. No college degree, no other jobs to list on his resume, no wealthy parents to fall back on… His whole life would go up in smoke.

But it does entice him. He technically does illegal things for his job all the time, and the matches he engages in when he has some down time aren’t really scratching that one particular itch anymore. Let’s face it: one phone call can’t hurt, right? He can still refuse, say no, put his foot down. Maybe even convince this guy to go legit.

He pushes the little green receiver on the screen, then puts his phone to his ear. The dial tone beeps three times before someone picks up. He opens his mouth to say something, but the person on the other side is quicker.

“Ben Miller, I presume?” It’s… a woman. But not Val. “Val told me you’d be giving me a call.”

“And you’re…” he quickly flips over the card just to be sure, “…Nyx, then?”

“Got it in one. I do so hate it when Val forgets to mention my name in the initial interview.”

Benny huffs out a confused laugh. “Interview?”

“You aced it, by the way. Not saying too much is best when talking with my… let’s call her my associate,” the woman says. Her voice is softer than Val’s, and a lot smoother. It sounds like what taking a sip of hot chocolate feels like. “Shall we get on with it and discuss the rules of this little arrangement?”

“I don’t-- rules? I haven’t even given you an answer.”

“Oh, don’t fool yourself into thinking you’ve got any restraint left,” she chuckles. “You want to tell me you called just to say hello to a total stranger?”

“No, but-” Benny splutters, but he doesn’t get to finish his sentence.

“Then your answer, even if you haven’t given it to me yet, is as clear as the Pope’s Holy Water. Now then, the rules. In order to keep you in the warm, sunny, light side of the law, I’ll arrange a time and place. All you have to do is show up.”

He can’t help but grin. She’s clearly on top of this whole cloak and dagger operation, that much he can tell. Who she is, though, he can’t say. Not yet. Maybe he’ll recognize her when he sees her. “What about my gear?”

“Do take it with you, please. I’m not a charity, giving away free gear to any John, Charles or Mary.”

“All right,” he says, clicking his tongue. “Anything else?”

“Val will pick you up and get you back home safely, so don’t worry about the whole transport situation.”

“This doesn’t sound very... safe. I mean, you do realize this sounds a lot like kidnapping, right? Or murder, or something like that?”

The woman laughs. It sounds like the melody to a song he knows but has never heard at the same time. It’s the kind of laugh that makes everyone around laugh as well. “Why would I tell you all this and then still proceed with it if my intent was malicious? You can easily call the cops and have my dear Val arrested for whatever crime you think me capable of, and that wouldn’t be very good for my business.”

“Fair enough.”

“Speaking of Val, she’ll pick you up next Wednesday at nine.”

Benny kicks a piece of gravel onto the street next to him and swallows away the last of his pride and dignity. “All right, I guess I’ll see you then.”

“Good lord, I can’t believe Val forgot to tell you that, too,” she laughs again, then clears her throat and continues a lot more seriously. “I only dance in the dark. Have a good night, Mr. Miller.”

Usually, waiting takes ages, but not this time. For Benny the rest of the week practically flew by him and before he knows it, it’s already Wednesday. He went training with Frankie just like any other week, only this time he accidentally forgot to mention his fight with Nyx. He told himself that the less people know about his, uh, date, the better, but he also knows Frankie would have immediately pulled the plug.

Val arrives at nine o’clock sharp in the front seat of a cab, which is no surprise. The drive that follows doesn’t take very long; he also isn’t blindfolded or anything like they do in the movies. The car stops in front of an old warehouse in the east side of town, and that’s when Val turns around in her seat and very concisely tells him to get his ass out of her cab himself, since she’s not going to hold open the door for him.

Instead of driving off, Val simply pulls the keys from the ignition and tosses them to him, calling it his ‘insurance policy’. Then she waves her hand as if to tell him to hurry up and get inside, which he promptly does.

Well, that whole dancing in the dark reference seems to have been meant literally; as soon as the warehouse door closes behind him, an inky, suffocating darkness envelopes Benny and makes a shiver run up and down his spine. He takes a few tentative steps, holding out his arms and moving them around to make sure he doesn’t hit anything while he walks.

Suddenly, a voice calls out to him from a bit further into the sole, big room this warehouse seems to consist of.

“Good evening, Mr. Miller. Let’s get swinging, shall we?”

A/N: Hey there, you made it to the end! Thanks for reading through the whole thing, I hope you liked it. If you’ve got any suggestions or spotted a mistake or two, don’t hesitate to tell me so that I might fix it. I hope you’ll stick around for round two!

#ben miller x you #ben miller x y/n #ben miller x reader #benny miller #frankie morales #triple frontier #garrett hedlund #garrett hedlund fic #garrett hedlund fanfic #my writing

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felassan · 3 years

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Dragon Age development insights from David Gaider - PART 6

This information came from DG on a recent SummerfallStudios Twitch stream where he gave developer commentary while Liam Esler continued playing DAO from where they had left off in Part 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5. I transcribed it in case there’s anyone who can’t watch the stream (for example due to connection/tech limitations, data, time constraints, personal accessibility reasons, etc). A lot of it is centered on DAO, but there’s also insights into other parts of the franchise. Some of it is info which is known having been put out there in the past, and some of it is new. There’s a bit of overlap or repetition with topics covered in Parts 1-5. This post leaps from topic to topic as it’s a transcript of a conversational format. It’s under a cut due to length.

The stream can currently be watched back here. Next week LE will be streaming a different DAO playthrough with commentary from another guest. Two weeks from now LE and DG will return to continue this playthrough for another stream session like this one. LE will be uploading the previous streams to YouTube at some point as they are now gone from Twitch, before the end of the year. It’s on his to-do list! Do note that they’ll be taking a break from their weekly/fortnightly streaming schedule over the holiday period.

For the first chunk of this stream they discussed the BioWare news of Mark and Casey’s departure, and that in relation to DA4.

[wording and opinions DG’s, occasionally LE’s; paraphrased]

DG on Mark Darrah and Casey Hudson’s departures: “The big news.” He knows a lot of people were pointing at his surprise on Twitter (second from the top) as if that makes their departures somehow more significant, but “honestly, don’t look at that as anything but the fact that David Gaider is out of the loop”. He still has friends at BW but no longer lives with someone who works at BW, so it’s not a day to day thing, and of course currently the pandemic means that he’s not going to casually come into contact with them either. “So my surprise is only just, I had no idea that that was gonna happen and I reacted to it on Twitter, the same as anyone else and that’s it.” He also knows that a lot of people were like “Oh nooo!! Dragon Age, Dragon Age...” (worried about what the departures mean for the franchise and the upcoming game) and he can speak relatively freely as he no longer works for BW and hasn’t done so for 5 years now: “I have nothing to fear so what you’re hearing now is not corporate speak.” He says he would say that people should take the “omg this is the end of DA” stuff with a big grain of salt.

Some people have said that Executives don’t make games, and that is true. On one hand, Mark was the project director of DA which is a very powerful position as you set the overall tone for the game. In that position you don’t make the game but you make a lot of important decisions. Mark always had a really light hand with DA in that he liked to give a lot of authority and ownership to his leads, for good or bad. “The fact that he’s moved on and is going to be replaced by someone I don’t know, the fact that I don’t know him doesn’t mean that it’s automatically going to be bad. People forget, when I left, I left DA a year before I left BW. It wasn’t because I didn’t love BW it’s because I was done. That’s what happens sometimes with people, they get done and they move on because they think ‘you know what, it’s probably better if I go’. And that’s how I thought.” At the time DG felt that if he kept working on DA he wasn’t going to produce good stuff. It was feeling like he was repeating himself and he didn’t feel like he had any stories left for the world, “so somebody else [should] come in with a fresh take and do much better”. It doesn’t mean that the new person will automatically do better of course, “I don’t know him, I don’t know what his goals are”. But DA is an established thing. “He was the EP on Anthem, and whatever he was doing on Anthem it was to make Anthem a better Anthem”. But that doesn’t mean he is automatically going to bring Anthem stuff over to DA (as again, DA is pretty established).

If he does, well, that would be different, but sometimes it’s time for a fresh voice. “Maybe it was that in this case. Maybe something went on. I honestly couldn’t tell you. Gaider is out of the loop. And nobody who currently works at BW would give you a straight answer in either case, because that’s just, you just don’t do that. You don’t give the goss on the inside, that doesn’t happen, you’re never gonna get it. Unless of course Mark or Casey decide to speak for themselves, and they certainly can.” He imagines that a lot of people inside of the company don’t actually know what happened - this often happens. Inside you’d hear the rumor mill, but the rumor mill inside a company the size of BioWare and EA is pretty inaccurate. “You’d hear things that people would swear were true, and then later on when you talked to the people actually involved they’d be like ‘no, that isn’t what happened at all’.” So, “I wouldn’t read too much into it. The writing team that I assembled is still there. PW is still there. John Epler is still there. Karin is still there. Matt Goldman is still there.”

DG didn’t always get along with Matt Goldman, but he believed that he [Matt] knew what DA was about and that he held its best interests at heart. They just had occasional differences of opinion in terms of how exactly that would be relayed [in the art direction], but he knew that deep down Matt believed in the same DA that he did. “So these are the people that will be making DA. So don’t lose hope just yet. I mean if anybody would have reason, I mean listen, if anybody would have reason to start crying into their beer and to start worrying that DA might not be awesome, it’s kinda me ok. This is my baby, I want to see it do well, if I was really worried - for the sake of the people I worked with before I might say nothing, I’d hedge my bets, but I certainly wouldn’t lie to you [us the listeners] and say positive things. So don’t go gloom and doom just yet, that’s my suggestion. There’s a lot of stuff that can happen between now and release.”

At this point LE chimed in: He thinks it’s really important to remember to give everyone a chance and remember that everyone is generally trying their best. We should give everyone who is coming into the new leadership a chance to do their best work. That work might be different from what has come before, but that doesn’t make it a bad thing. In fact, he’d argue that often, trying to repeat the same thing as before is often what makes games terrible. He’s excited to see what happens and what this brings to DA. Remember that a lot of the core team is still there. The project is unlikely to suddenly rapidly shift gears.

DG: “Unless that was their marching orders, like unless say EA came to Mark and/or Casey. Although Casey is [was] the studio director, I don’t think they’d be involved in day to day, and that he’d be that involved, but who knows, who knows. Maybe they came and said ‘we’d like to change DA to [this or that]’ and Mark/Casey were like ‘fuck that, I’m out’. That’s possible but I really have my doubts that EA would reboot DA yet again, that would be really strange. But I guess we’ll see. We have this new guy, maybe he’s like ‘awesome I get to work on DA’, maybe he loves DA, I dunno. I guess it’ll be interesting to see.” New leadership! “Although I say a lot of the team is still there, they will have to do what they’re told. When DG was on DA a lot of people assumed ‘DG is in charge of everything relating to the setting and can do whatever he wants’ and “that was never true. I always had people over me.”

The higher you go up in the hierarchy or food chain at BioWare (at BioWare, not talking about EA), the more of your time is taken up dealing with EA (this is DG’s understanding). Someone at the Aaryn Flynn or Casey Hudson level is spending all of their time in meetings with EA doing very high-level stuff. So like, for example, if Aaryn Flynn had something to say that would affect the game project they were working on, that was probably being filtered down from above. He would never say it directly, he’d say it to their leads, people like Mark. Then Mark would meet with the project leads and he’d say “this is coming down the pipe and we have to do this.” And by the time someone at DG’s level or below got the info they’d have no idea that it had even come from Aaryn.

LE: “There is some anti-EA sentiment in the chat and I wanna - publishing is very complex. The relationship between a studio and a publishing arm is often very complex and it’s rarely as simple as saying that the publisher is always the bad influence.” It’s always complex, sometimes it is the publisher saying that they have certain expectations, but often it’s also the studio. If a publisher sets a series of expectations, the studio then makes decisions in order to try and meet those expectations. So it’s not like there’s always one party is at fault. “That is so rarely the case.”

DG: “In my experience the publisher is always willing to absorb, you know like, be the bad cop. They’re like whatever, it’s fine. And I find that a lot of times the problems were happening at the studio level. By the time EA gets involved, those problems were already sorta existing. I mean I think that in the past, and maybe there’s an element of this to BW too, I dunno, but in the past EA took on a troubled studio. They bring them on and those problems still exist, but from the outside it looks like they only existed once EA bought them and that’s generally not true.” There’s a bit of corporatization where EA do what seems natural to them, where they want to make the policies and the pipelines at the studio match that of EA. So they’re like ‘we need to change the way your management structure works to follow the way we do things’. That’s when the changes start and there is an element of “Now people whose time is taken up dealing with EA become sort’ve, as insulated from the reality of the project as the people at EA.” This insulation is where DG thinks a lot of those decisions get made. In his experience the people at EA all mean well and are all just trying to do their best. “I really don’t think, in my opinion, that EA deserves the bad rep they’ve gotten, and I worked for them for 5 years. The kinds of things that people lay on their shoulders are the kinds of things that happen in all big companies just by virtue of them being giant behemoths where the right hand doesn’t always know what the left hand is doing. But they get extra visceral hate for it because the corporate stuff that affects companies happens to affect companies that gamers love and attach a lot of feelings and ownership towards. Often those gamers weren’t even aware that there were problems at a studio before EA took it over so they’re like ‘big bad EA came in and destroyed everything’.”

LE: It’s also the job of the publisher to cop the flak and be the bad guy, because someone has to be and often it’s easier and better for the publisher to take responsibility for that.

Regular dev commentary

LE and DG have a rule that they won’t talk about DeepLore (tm) on these streams. Anything that’s not public knowledge DG won’t say. DG knows what the DeepLore was when he left but that was 5 years ago. Stuff that hasn’t been made public yet the current devs are pretty okay with changing if they need to. DG recalls that when he was there they didn’t change it very much as he had a fairly firm vision, but his is not that vision anymore, so they may have decided to go in a different direction, he has no idea. If he told all the deep dark secrets his old friends would hate him and they’d change it all immediately anyway (due to the need to come up with new surprises). And that could be extremely expensive. Or they may have decided to do another story since then and “then I would literally be talking out of my ass and lying to you”. He is no longer subject to an NDA anymore though.

When Matt Goldman started on DA2 as Art Director after the DAO Art Director moved over to be the head of BW Montreal, they had maybe 1.5 years to produce all-new art assets OR they could just go ahead and use the accumulated library of assets that they had accumulated in DAO, even though some of the stuff didn’t look that great. “Imagine his conundrum” - if he used the existing library that meant they would have a lot more variety, but it would also mean that everything new they produced would have to follow the same look, feel and color scheme of the original or else it would look out of place. “Also original art meant a lot less art.”

Sheryl Chee always wrote the best lines for Purple Hawke. When they play through DA2, DG will point them out. Sometimes they’d be wondering ‘hm what do we do for the sarcastic option here’ and SC would just quietly pipe up in the background with her idea and they’d all die lol. DG recalls people asking on the forum at the time if they could romance Teagan. Jowan was almost a party member. Narrative designers are halfway between an animator and level/story designer, straddling both sides - the narrative and the art. In a conversation they’re the ones doing camera shifting and animations etc. At its height DAI’s team had about 120 people. Throughout the middle parts it was 70-80.

For a long time during DAO dev they didn’t think they’d be able to get enough models on-screen at once. That was always an issue with that engine. DG would be like “I need to do a city” and they’d be like “well, we can fit maaaybe 10 people on-screen at one time”. DG: “And it’s like what the fuck engine is this? That was always my comment but I have no idea honestly how this stuff works.” They kept telling him this is as many as they could fit, “and I’d bitch and bitch and go home and play a PS3 game where you’re a photographer stuck in a mall and fought giant hordes of zombies. And I’d be like ‘omg how is this even possible’. But it’s not like I know. And I will say it’s not that people weren’t trying really hard. The programmers were doing everything they possibly could and there’s a difference between engines designed to have massive crowds and ones designed for something else.” It’s never simple and there’s always so many things to weigh up. A big part of the tradeoff is the fact that we have parties in these games. In DA the parties take up so much processing, it’s the most intensive thing on screen and has the most different pieces that it could be. Every armor variation etc kind of all exists at once, and the fact that you have a party means that this part of the game is basically 4x in terms of all the requirements.

There’s a pretty big difference between writing for dialogue lines that won’t be voiced and ones that will. You [the writer] get to rely on the voice acting a lot more in the case of the latter, like you no longer have to have the character say “I am angry”, because the VA can deliver a line angrily. This actually took them a little while to get the hang of. In DAO they were still getting the hang of this. It wasn’t really until DA2 that they really grasped that they could rely on the VA to impart what they were trying to express. They also had to learn to read their lines out loud as they wrote them, otherwise they ran the risk of getting to review and reading it and realizing it doesn’t sound as good out loud as it did in their heads when they wrote it.

It’s a mistake that Zevran couldn’t pick locks when recruited. Not until DAI did they think ‘we should try to align the abilities that the characters have with what they talk about’. At some point they thought all rogues should be able to pick locks and at some point someone was like ‘we have [should have?] rogues that are more pick-locky types and ones that aren’t.’ “Nobody told me and it was just one of those things that sort’ve fell off the radar.”

The HoF didn’t appear in DAI because giving them a voice is just asking for trouble. For about half of development they tried to have the HoF be the Warden across from Hawke in that DAI plot, but it was just too weird. “We were like, everybody is going to be really upset at this. We can’t make them look like they did in DAO, we have to give them a voice, everyone is going to be upset. Late in the day we had to cut it and boy did that require some fancy writing on PW’s part to write around that.” The thing they had for the longest time was that right at the point where the HoF would come out from the back, the player would be popped over to CC and be made to recreate their Warden, which kind of ruined the surprise. That was so heavy on the GUI requirements and they were so worried that it would be really strange, and then how do you account for people who never played the previous games or the fact that the Warden is from years and 2 games ago by then?

LE highly doubts that any of the previous PCs are going to appear again in any future games. It’s so incredibly complex and just not worth the effort most of the time, especially with CC. CC is so difficult to replicate because the art style changes completely between games. It’s very difficult to make the new system automatically replicate your char’s face from the old system, then you’ve got the VAs potentially to bring in - like 8 different VAs potentially [in the HoF’s case], just for one or two scenes. It’s a huge investment and then everyone will still be like “that’s not my character”. [Hawke’s reception in DAI is kind of an example this.]

At one point they were actually torn between Richard Madden and GDL for Solas, and then finally GDL was available. They were torn because originally Solas was going to be funnier and Richard did the funnier bits better. And then they were like “Why don’t we just rewrite Solas?” So Solas was originally meant to be a low-key, funny type character but was rewritten for GDL, who speaks with gravitas. PW heard GDL and was like “I wanna make him more serious now”. DG: “So it changed. And I can’t even imagine now what it would be like if Solas was funny.” Solas’ iambic pentameter was PW’s idea. PW is very good at verse. The fact that PW was able to write so much of Solas like that is a remarkable achievement, DG at the time didn’t realize that they had done that. “For the longest time I was like ‘Solas has a particular lilt to the way he talks, it’s so odd, is that because he’s Welsh?’” The editors were not particularly pleased with PW for this lol. Editor Cori May was very good with voice as a voice editor, chars with very specific voices could be given to her. She’d softly read lines over and over again to make sure they had the right sound and number of beats etc. “I gotta hand it to the editors, KW, Cori, Ben Gelinas, for all the fact that writers do good work it’s editors that make it shine.”

DG can’t take sole credit for Dorian. The writers rely on each other for writing assists and there’s a lot of people who will touch their characters. Also the VA brings a lot to the equation too, giving life to the char that isn’t in the writing. The person who did the visual language for Dorian, from his Mercury mustache to the asymmetry of his garments - if he looked different he’d be a different char. All those things come together. But he understands that the words are what players experience so that’s what people tend attach the importance to.

There was an initial draft where Cassandra was very sanctimonious. It wasn’t very appealing so DG went to rewrite her and was trying to figure out ways to have her have some more humanity. He saw online a little comic where Cass was reading smutty literature and he laughed and was like “What if... she was a fangirl?” This is how Cass’s smutty literature/secret fangirl side came about.

2 of the DA2 basegame romances are bi for sure, 2 you could argue are “playersexual”. DG doesn’t really like that word but it’s fair. A lot of times bi chars weren’t real bi rep but a matter of convenience. When they went into DAI they had a long discussion: “do we want to do the all-bi thing again?” There was a pro and con list there, for each option. They felt that them having their own orientations gave them more agency, that they had desires and existences that existed separate from the player. He understands that some players just want to be able to romance whoever they want and gets that, but that’s not what they (the dev team) are here to provide with these games.

You can tell that a narrative designer had a lot of time to work on the “HoF reaches Connor and Isolde in Redcliffe” scene. There was some simple/rudimentary mocap done for DAO but not much. There was no performance capture for DAO though, which is a kind of different thing. Isolde did wrong but there were extenuating circumstances. DG was disappointed by how this plot turned out and feels that he made a mistake by giving the player the possibility to have an optimal ending. After he was done the plot initially, he doesn't remember how it came up exactly but it was like ‘What if you could go to the Circle and get their help and this was a way you could avoid making the terrible decision?’ At the time he thought this sounded interesting and he thought of it as something like an Easter egg, as in if players did things in the ‘right’ order they could get this option. But the way it worked out in the fanbase is that it’s the only route people take usually because it’s optimal, naturally - you get everything while risking nothing. This destroyed the actual requirement to make a choice, which was the whole point of the plot. “So I allowed you an out which actually destroyed all the emotional fallout.” “In the end I undercut the effectiveness of my own plot.” He believes in happy endings but they should be earned and you should have to give up something to get them (not necessarily a literal blood sacrifice though lol).

DG was asked in the chat about the things EA are reported to have forced BW to do, like forcing them to work on Anthem, the crunch time and forcing them to work on a complicated engine etc. He responded that the person was mixing up a lot of what EA was doing vs what the internal BW folks were doing. There’s a lot of layers of responsibility when it comes to things like that, broken schedules, bad management etc. It’s a complicated question and you can’t really shuffle all that stuff to the publisher. There’s shared responsibility. It’s safe to say that a lot of people meant well. What he heard was that as time went on there was a lot of pressure on the team that became extraordinary, there were a lot of what’s called ‘stress casualties’ (people going on stress leave and getting ulcers and stuff). This is something that gets pretty bad and is a problem across the industry that needs to change, it’s not just specific to BioWare. EA is a public company so they don’t have traditional-style investors who can really influence what goes on, at least not in the same sense that a private company would. Instead their goals are largely driven by money. LE: “If you wanna blame something, essentially, blame capitalism.”

They usually go for authentic accents but DG thinks that in Isolde’s case it wasn’t. For Zevran they tried for the longest time to get an actual Spanish speaker, they went through so many auditions. They struggled to find one with the tone they wanted and one that would suit the genre. They tried people from Spain but the sound was different from the one they wanted, so they thought ‘let’s just throw open the casting and see what we get’. “I was honestly trying to find a legitimately Spanish person. And then one day it was like oh, this guy sounds like Antonia Banderas, kinda sexy, quite clear, and then I went to LA to meet him as part of the initial rundown, and I walk in, knowing nothing about him at all, and he’s this 6 ft 2 kind of Scandinavian looking motherfucker. God, you played yourself David.” At this point in time Freddie Prinze Junior wasn’t doing this kind of VAing yet, to his knowledge anyway. But had they known he was an option back in DAO he’s sure they would have tried to reach out to him, because they were trying to find the authentic thing and not a mimic. As time went on there became more importance attached to finding the authentic thing, so that the actor could concentrate more on the acting and less on doing the particular kind of voice that they wanted.

This was initially a problem for Morrigan, in a sense. When she was first cast the guy they had at the time had an image in his head where she was 18 years old and so initially Claudia had to pitch up her voice to sound younger. This blunted her because she had to constantly think about it, and it affected her performance, so 2 sessions in Caroline was like “fuck it, at this point they [the overseeing people] won’t be listening anymore”. So this is why when you first meet Morrigan she sounds higher-pitched than she does later on. Her later deeper register is Claudia’s natural voice. “When you first meet her she is doing the customer service voice and then she just can’t be bothered anymore” [this was a joke]. Claudia had never done VAing before so on the first session she wore a really loud shirt - a rookie mistake.

There were a lot of quests that didn’t make it into DAO, which he regrets, although it’s always the case. One of the biggest for him here is the one in Denerim where the player went to the Orlesians and it involved the Queen and we learned a lot more about Loghain. The cutting of this plot is why he ended up writing the first novel. “You don’t learn this stuff anymore in there so I wanted to put all this lore that you would have learned in that plot into a book.” Talking about cut stuff is always funny because fans sometimes take what’s said the wrong way: “In their mind the cut thing was this perfect, perfectly-working beautiful plot and that we must have just suddenly taken and thrown out for no good reason like ‘What?! Why would you do that?!’ And I guarantee you that this is almost never the case.”

DG feels that Isolde’s performance at the “Filthy murderer! He is an innocent boy!” bit is actually quite heartbreaking. (This is the killing Connor route). It broke his heart when she did the “Don’t kill my baby, I beg you” part in the soundbooth. DG remembers the awkward moment when they had to have a conversation with the artists where it was like, “Ok, Connor has been brought to this point because of his desires, his desire to help his father, so it is a Desire demon. And then one day they got the models and they were like ‘oh’. Well... I hope you know that this is the demon that has taken over Connor... And there was just this sort of blank look.. Ok, that’s how we’ll write it.” (Context: Desire demons were supposed to be gender-neutral Sandman-style, not overly sexualized.) He saw the scene where Connor flails around and the Desire demon comes out before the PC fights them when he was having that talk, and was like “Alright, well ok, let’s do it.”

At one point Fiona was on the list of potential DAI companions. “I remember talking about Fiona as the Grand Enchanter.”

Mary Kirby wrote Merrill as having a stop-start, stuttering way of talking. “I remember when I read that, that kind of writing is great to read but it’s basically death for VAs, as they have to very naturally try to replicate the stuttering, which can be very difficult for actors to do. It usually means we have to do a lot of takes for each line until the actor figures out how they want to do it.” Eve Myles though, she came in and was like “I read the character and I understand, I get how she feels, let’s go for it” and launched into it and was amazing at it from the get-go, “wow”. Eve is on DG’s [very short] list of “chars for whom I got my number one pick of VA”. When people do dream-casts of actors it’s usually a lot of A-List actors/unrealistic choices that they could never afford. Caroline for each char would sit down with DG at the outset and be like “If you could have anyone for the part, anything you wanted at all, who would you have?” DG would never go for A-List names but when watching shows and stuff, if someone had an interesting voice he’d be like ‘oh they sound really cool’ and would tuck it away in the back of his mind. When they switched elf accents over in DA2 to Irish and Welsh, they included the Welsh specifically because DG had 2 Welsh actors he really wanted to see in a role. One was Eve Myles and the other GDL. They couldn’t get GDL for DA2 but he obviously came on for DAI.

BW sometimes committed the cardinal sin of combat design of having a boss battle which introduces mechanics that aren’t used anywhere else, “that we haven’t actually trained you to deal with or for which the current tactics which you used to play the entire game suddenly don’t work. I hate those.”

There’s no golems in DAI because they didn’t have time to make a model.

Caroline is very good at getting VAs to the emotionally sad places they need to be in to record such lines, but after they’re done she gets all quiet and is like “ok, let’s take a break everyone”.

The level designers kept putting cemeteries everywhere in DAO and DG was like “No, why, they don’t bury people.” “Maybe they burn them the bury the ashes?” “No, why would you do that?!”

There’s a whole bunch of elements from Arthurian legends sprinkled throughout DAO. “They’ve been significantly filtered but if you look carefully it’s like ‘oh you lifted this right out of Arthurian legend didn’t you. Morrigan, Morgan le Fay, sleeping with her brother, the Holy Grail. Not all that clever David. You’re just a thief’.” Initially when DG talked about the world before release, he had a lot of trouble realizing how many people equate inspiration with copying. “I don’t know if it’s because they don’t know how inspiration works, I don’t think that’s true, but it’s like. They say ‘where did you draw inspiration from?’ and you’d say ‘Well I drew it from X, Y and Z’ and they’re like ‘Oh, so it’s JUST like X?’ No, it’s inspired by X. It’s a starting point.” “Some of the things if I told you where the inspiration came from you’d be like but they have nothing in common. Well, maybe nothing you consider important but there would have been this one aspect that I liked that came from there, and that’s it.” He eventually had to stop talking about it because people would say, for example, that an in-game culture was inspired by a real-world culture and be like “therefore they are exactly the same. It’s like, no, that’s not what I meant. That’s a difficult conversation to have.” So some of the DAO elements were originally inspired by Arthurian legend, but it changed from the original point on a daily basis to the point where in cases it’s not recognizable at all, “that’s how we roll”. [source]

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5]

[‘Insights into DA dev from the Gamers For Groceries stream’ transcript]

#dragon age #bioware #video games #dragon age 4 #the dread wolf rises #anthem #solas #cassandra pentaghast #my lady paladin #lgbtq #morrigan #queen of my heart #next mass effect

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infinitypassiveincome · 3 years

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Latitude Review

SEE WHAT A 12-YEAR-OLD BOY CAN HELP YOU TAP INTO THE 330 MILLION BUYERS MARKET

Along with the Bitcoin craze, recently, NFT has become a new item that has received great attention from investors. Many digital artworks were sold for millions of dollars and celebrities and business leaders raced to enter the market.

This digital currency became prominent and attracted a lot of attention because it has 3 characteristics that hold users back.

Uniqueness – each NFT has its own properties that set them apart from the others.

Scarcity – each NFT is unique, cannot be replaced by any other form, that is what makes NFTs valuable.

Inseparability – a special feature of the NFT is that the NFT cannot be divided in any way.

People see the extremely promising development potential of this digital currency, so they rush to engage in it. Although the nature of cryptocurrencies is similar, it is true that the value that NFTs bring is often more generous and the risk is low, which may be the main reason why it has appeared late but gradually prevailed. You also need to find a way to make your own money. You should not only be too dependent on the methods that people usually do, there must be a breakthrough, success will come to you.

If you want to step into this vast world of NFTs, the Latitude – product that I am about to introduce to you is exactly what you need. Why? Since a 12-year-old can make thousands of dollars a week, why can’t you?

Okay, If you are ready, please take a ride with me and enter my review today. Welcome, all of you coming to Latitude review,

LATITUDE REVIEW – THE OVERVIEW

WHAT IS LATITUDE?

Latitude is the world’s 1st crypto-based income system developed by a 12-year-old (with a protege of Jono’s) who has made thousands from this with zero online marketing experience. Latitude opens you up to the digital goldmine of NFTs where you can make risk-free cash with zero experience or skill at all.

Latitude lets you tap into the crypto-driven world of NFTs for unlimited profit potential without upfront costs, without experience, without risk, even without creating anything yourself.

WHO IS THE CREATOR?

The creator is 12-year-old boy William who is guided and supported by an experienced expert Jono Armstrong.

As you may know, Jono Armstrong is the most successful digital marketer as well as software creator. He is prominent for many previous launches such as Maeve, Stealth, The Lockdown Formula, The Secret Weapon, Paytrix, Aurora, Smash My Campaigns, Invisible, Equinox, Launch Jacking, etc.

If you want to know more details about these products, you can refer them to the Internet. His products will lead you to many different ways to make money online.

WHAT WILL YOU HAVE WHEN OWNING LATITUDE?

Latitude includes free software & free authority traffic from hundreds of millions of buyers. This is the exact system a 12-year-old is cashing in THOUSANDS weekly with. You smash every barrier (and excuse) standing in your way.

From now on, you can enjoy the freedom of a lucrative side hustle that works from your laptop, anywhere in the world just by plugging in a proven system that includes free traffic & software so you can scale as high as you want.

So what are the outrageous features to help you unlock the easiest way to profit from your laptop?

♦ OVER THE SHOULDER “LOOK MOM IT REALLY IS THIS EASY” VIDEO TRAINING ($997 VALUE)

It will show you how to duplicate the Latitude blueprint that’s making vendors $1000s per week.

From ‘minting’ to listing, you get every shortcut to help you flip NFTs for big dollars fast.

100% beginner-friendly from A-Z!

♦ FREE TRAFFIC FROM OVER 330 MILLION MOTIVATED BUYERS ($1997 VALUE)

You can forget paid ads, FB, or making YouTube videos. This is where the money is: See how to exploit a top authority platform packed full of buyers LOOKING for NFTs.

The best part is It plugs right into the Latitude system!

Free software automates 99% of the process, and the 330 million buyer traffic source works perfectly with this system.

Ground Floor Profit advantage in the fastest growing crypto market (NFTs) but without the risks!

♦ DFY SOFTWARE TO AUTOMATE & SCALE ($997 VALUE)

This is how you get paid for OTHER PEOPLE’S art! With this, you don’t even have to draw a single thing if you don’t want to.

This powerful, free-to-use software lets you leverage pre-made art for your own unique NFTs. This is exactly how vendors are able to scale to $1000s so fast. And now is your turn!

♦ 5 FIGURE CASE STUDIES FROM SCRATCH TO $1000S IN REAL-TIME ($1497 VALUE)

Latitude is all about getting results, and these case studies show you how.

Watch William reveal the exact steps he took to generate thousands in pure profit across MULTIPLE campaigns from A-Z!

You’ll have the exact same tools he used, making it copy-paste simple to duplicate for yourself!

♦ THIS IS A PURE PROFIT MODEL

You keep 100% of the revenues from this. Plus, you can do it with zero monthly overhead costs. Make more, keep more. It’s the Latitude way.

♦ 30 DAYS UNCONDITIONAL 100% MONEY BACK GUARANTEE

Take Latitude for a test drive with no risk whatsoever! Leverage the free software, free traffic & multiple resources to tap into the fastest-growing opportunity in the crypto game right now.

It lives up to every claim on this page Or your money back.

No questions asked.

Go on, William DOUBLE DARES you to get in and do even better than he is!

Tips: Click on the popup showing up while you are browsing the salespage to get $3 OFF

LATITUDE REVIEW – WHY SHOULD YOU GO WITH THIS ONE?

NFTs are the hottest crypto-driven profit opportunity online right now. In fact, NFTs became famous and popular when many billionaires and celebrities used and entered this goldmine market. Latitude will help you start earning and executing trades quickly even if you have no knowledge or skills like these folks are making:

BECAUSE LATITUDE UNDERSTANDS THE DIFFICULTIES THAT BEGINNERS LIKE YOU FACE!

As far as you know, Crypto is the hottest topic of the year. But making money from it is risky and hard. That’s why you need to switch to NFTs which will be hotter than crypto & risk-free and bring you more profit than affiliate marketing. Because Latitude is 100% free software, it allows you not to build a list or social following with zero upfront costs or monthly fees.

It only takes you 15 minutes per day to earn more than 2000 dollars per week. You will have a chance of getting free traffic from 320 million people using NFTs. Everything is automated, the system will do the rest for you. See the results below:

Do you wonder how you can start a trade while you don’t even have an artwork or pictures? It is true that I also want to reveal it to you right here.

LATITUDE WILL ALLOW YOU TO LEGALLY OWN AND USE THE WORKS.

You are free to sell it on the market with your copyright. The doodles now, thanks to Latitude, will become sought-after works and help sell for thousands of dollars. This is definitely the easiest way to earn money ever for you and I guarantee there is no risk, your money will not be wasted in vain for Latitude.

If you’re a newbie, it’s well worth the experience. I know this product will help you make it happen.

LATITUDE REVIEW – PRICE AND UPGRADES

LATITUDE FE

You just need to spend $12.95 for the software helping you earn up to $2000 per week. It is hard to believe when a 12 year-old boy can do it so why don’t you? But this shoe-basement price is not for good, you can find this same price when the short launching time ends.

More importantly, they offer a 30-day guarantee policy, you can return anytime if the product has any problems and it does not work for you.

Tips: Click on the popup showing up while you are browsing the salespage to get $3 OFF

LATITUDE REVIEW – THE UPGRADES

During 30-day trials, you also can refer to some upgrade options below, hope that they are intended to help you to make more money and more easily:

OTO 1 – LATITUDE PRO: $37 – $47

Latitude Pro is the hands-free way to cash in with this unique system.

It shows you how to effortlessly flip OTHER people’s NFTs for windfall profits Without creating a single thing themselves.

OTO 2 – LATITUDE DELUXE: $47 – $67

Advanced training on leveraging digital art COLLECTIONS to 10X their income.

You will discover how to create or assemble collections, outsource the heavy lifting, and generate life-changing profits.

OTO 3 – LATITUDE ELITE INSIDER’S CLUB: $97 – $197

Direct access to the insider’s only club where the richest NFT players share up-to-the-minute shortcuts & strategies.

You will also be added to our private list and be given early inside info on the hottest upcoming NFTs to profit from.

OTO 4 – LATITUDE UNLIMITED TRAFFIC: $97 – $197

The ultimate traffic solution for you that wants to scale fast.

You get direct access to a huge ad words audience by having your pixels placed on all sales pages for 365 days.

This is a hands-free way for you to grow a MASSIVE traffic source of targeted prospects

OTO 5 – LIMITLESS ULTRA RESELLER RIGHTS BUNDLE: $47 – $67

4 top-converting offers to sell as your own, and keep 100% from every product in each funnel!

Past customers LOVE the reseller bundles – they’re getting an entire library of digital products to profit from forever… and it handles all support.

To make sure you won’t encounter any hassles setting up, that’s why the vendor has added guides not only for the set-up process but also for effectively deploying the product for maximizing profits. Let’s take a look:

WHO SHOULD BUY LATITUDE?

Everyone is equal and has the same right to make money, so there is no reason to stop you no matter who you are. However, in order to exploit as well as make advantages of all the functions of this systems, it is a perfect match for:

♥ Freelancers who want to double their income daily

♥ ECom Marketers

♥ Affiliate Marketers

♥ Students who want to increase their saving and start a small business

♥ Retired people

♥ Stay-at-home parents

♥ Hectic people who do not much time but want to earn the second income

♥ Anyone who starts to play crypto but want to get a huge profit without a large investment

♥ Even Teachers, Salesman, shop owners and other professions.

LATITUDE REVIEW – PROS AND CONS

PROS:

♥ This product provides 5 figure per month push-button system

♥ Developed & proven by a 12 YEAR OLD – you’ve never seen anything like this!

♥ Latitude is a Free software

♥ Free buyer traffic from a leading platform!

♥ Cash in from the crypto explosion without risk or investment

♥ Absolutely NO boring, saturated, BS online marketing crap

♥ 10,000% beginner friendly – if a 12 year old can do it, why not you?

♥ 30 days money back – guaranteed

♥ Banking crypto profits without risk, investment or expertise

♥ Getting paid while you’re asleep or on holiday

♥ You can do this without any art skills or even creating a thing yourself

♥ You don’t need to be famous or have any social following for this to work

♥ Latitude shares a free software that lets you turn OTHER PEOPLE’S art into your own 100% legally.

♥ It’ll show you the top FREE traffic source (over 330 million buyers)

♥ No websites, products or funnels to create

♥ There’s no video creation, blogging or forum spamming

♥ It will be a perfect hassle-free way for even newbies to profit online ASAP.

CONS:

X Fortunately, you can rely on this product.

CONCLUSION

All in all, the decision is still up to you, but I just want you to purchase this product at a low-cost. The world is usually the reverse of what happens and meant to put us down so the winner is the one who sees and catches up with. I hope my review puts two and two together and helps you know how worthwhile this product is.

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wangxiangiftexchange · 3 years

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Lunar New Year Gift for vedrividia!

Pairing: Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji; past Wei Wuxian/Other (implied) Rating: Mature Warnings: brief depiction of sexual harassment, brief instance of misgendering, implied/referenced past suicide attempt, implied/referenced past sexual assault (off-screen), implied/referenced past forced pregnancy (off screen), implied/referenced underage sex & pregnancy (off-screen), alcoholism, coming out, implied/referenced homophobia Other Tags: trans male character, disabled character, gay male character, open ending, unreliable narrator, angst, tender, chance meeting, confession, reunion, character with incomplete spinal cord injury, iSCI, it probably sounds darker than it is

Summary: On the last eve before spring Wei Ying finds himself at the end of a road. What awaits him on the other side depends on the steps he takes to cross it. Someone walks beside him.

Disclaimer: I am neither Chinese, trans nor disabled. All of the portrayal in this fic is based on research. It's not my intent to offend and I'm open to critique as long as it's respectful and constructive. Wei Ying's journey is his own and does not represent all of the disabled or trans community. The fic is set in a world that closely resembles ours, but where corona never happened and maybe China's laws are just a little less restrictive (but still very phobic), so bear that in mind. I do not own any of the characters.

Notes - Beginning: The idea of trans male Wei Ying had been stuck in my head for a while now, and I've been wanting to try my hand at a trans story, because I've never done that before. This assignment was an opening to do that in a darker, more serious setting. I have also wanted to explore Wei Ying's suicidal issues while translating his story into a modern setting for some time (it was supposed to be a coffee shop AU, only the coffee shop never appeared hah). It was simultaneously hard and fun to write, and I'm grateful for it. @vedrividia, I hope you like it!

In the past I didn't feel like I could do a good job at representing anyone of an identity I couldn't quite empathize with. Since then I've surrounded myself with trans inclusive media, and followed transgender blogs and channels, and I hope that this fic does right by all of them.

I am aware of some of the potentially problematic topics, but I also didn't want to ignore all the challenges and abuse and trauma that trans folk are forced to endure on a daily basis. (Did you know that trans people have some of the highest suicide rates, and likely to have alcohol issues? Making everyone happy and nothing hurt felt all kinds of wrong knowing that.) I believe that representing both - an ideal world alongside the real and flawed one - is important.

Positive stories are also important - this is one. Or at least I hope I was able to make it one.

On a more cheerful note, there are pictures that served as an inspiration for this story, namely this photoset (especially the pic in the leather jacket, the one on the couch and the close up) done in faceapp by a genius, this brain-frying picture, and of course this picture from the Harper's Bazaar Photoshoot that none of us are over. I completely blame Xiao Zhan's androgyny.

Last but not least, I owe a massive thanks to Laura for the amazing beta they did on a rather short notice and brought this fic to another level. Thank you for your hard work!!! :)

End notes: Wei Ying has an incomplete spinal cord injury in the lumbar area (at L1 or L2). I didn't realize that I played myself when I gave him an incomplete injury, because the lack of references and information is in terms of quantity a total opposite to everything available on complete SCI. Which in turn made the telling of such a story feel even more important. If any of you know of a good resource for the daily life of people with iSCI, I'm all ears.

Even researching the walking aides was a challenge, since most information is on wheelchair dependent people, which Wei Ying is not. He has a wheelchair but he refuses to use it, for several reasons, one of them being image, another being worry of atrophy. He likes a good walk, and there's progress thanks to physical therapy, most of which is covered by insurance. I was debating an exoskeleton/brace for him, but from what I gathered they aren't really useful for SCI (I welcome any additional info about this), and those that would be cost a ton and aren't covered by insurance - which is a big factor for Wei Ying. The toss ended up being between forearm crutches and a walking frame, but in the end I decided on crutches, because it seemed like Wei Ying would prefer them? For now? With crutches he can pretend, and I also didn't know to what extent a walking frame would be insurance covered (in China), and whether he'd be at a point where he would accept one. (I imagine the simple ones would be covered by insurance, the question is whether they make a huge difference to crutches, and whether a rollator - with wheels and a seat is something that would count as 'necessary' in this case.)

However, once again, I am not adequately educated on all that goes into the decision making here. No one ever mentions things like these in success stories. In the end I left it as a room for future development. I'm pretty sure Wen Qing is trying to convince him to get one.

I was debating whether to tag dysphoria. While it is not explicitly stated in the fic, Wei Ying does experience it, although this has gotten better since he realized being trans, came out and started testosterone. His decision to not transition fully is one that many trans people make at a point in their lives, for any number of reasons. This does not mean he'll never change his mind, or won't explore other forms of expression. It's a choice that the current Wei Ying is making, completely independent of future Wei Ying.

It's possible in China to get a gender confirmation surgery, but the requirements sound like a nightmare. The first thing you have to do is get diagnosed with 'gender disorder', be five years in (unsuccessful) therapy for it, at least 20 and unmarried. If he decides to transition fully to a male presenting body he can only marry someone who is biologically female in the future, under Chinese law. (Imagine having to divorce your significant other in order to be who you are. Imagine having to make this decision. It makes me want to write fic about it.)

It also costs a ton, as none of it is covered by insurance. You can only start hormone therapy in order to get surgery, which leads a lot of trans people to acquire hormones illegally and without medical counseling. I purposefully did not decide where Wei Ying gets his T from. I didn't want him to not have it, but I left the how undecided. For the most part I headcanon it as one of the things that make my world a little different, since hormone therapy is a thing that exists outside of transitioning as well. E.g. many female athletes use testosterone to boost their performance, and many other women take it for various medical reasons. I feel like WWX could find ways to acquire some. Now, whether this would be legal or not is left open.

By the way? Never, EVER deadname. Just don't. The moment someone comes out to you as trans, tells you their pronouns and name, that's what you use. You forget everything that came prior to that, wipe it out of your memory, it's ashes on the sands of time unless stated otherwise BY THEM, got it?

Now, Wei Ying's case. I was hesitant about how to approach this, but from the start I knew two things. I wanted the same kind of intimacy of WWX & LWJ calling each other by their birth names as in canon, but I also didn't want to go the way most authors go in this case i.e. splitting the names to pre- and post- transition. It is my understanding that most Chinese names are unisex (if anyone has more info on this, I'd love to have it), or can be used for all genders, and I didn't want to force a gender issue where there wasn't one. However, I also wanted something parallel that could be used in a similar way. What I came up with is what you see in text. While Wei Ying did change his name, the only reason why it's still somewhat okay to use 'Wuxian' is because he explicitly says he likes it. In fact, in my head somewhere in the imagined future of this verse, he and JFM have a conversation about it where JFM tells him if he wants it, it can still be his name - he didn't give it to an image, but a person. IDK how well any of this works, or translates to actual trans or Chinese (or trans and Chinese) people, so if you have words for me, let me know.

On a side note, in 2015 China lifted the one-child policy in favor of a two-child policy. A-Yuan was born in 2017.

Wei Ying attempted suicide between the 4th and 8th week of his pregnancy. During the early weeks the probability of a fetus surviving a major fall (even a fall from stairs) is significantly higher than later in the pregnancy, and the scaffolding he jumped from wasn't actually that high. I'm also considering that there might have been something to cushion the fall that he hadn't noticed (a stray rope, or a net) or been aware of (like padding on the stage), but that's a detail I decided to leave to your imagination. On the other hand, sustaining a SCI during early pregnancy is likely to have fatal consequences, as I found out a week before the deadline. In the end, they both got very lucky. Wei Ying spent the next 3 months in a coma. When he woke up it was too late to terminate. Jiang Fengmian had been adamant that the decision not be made without Wei Ying's consent, which was nice of him, but also ended up making the decision for Wei Ying regardless.

Last but not least, if you've read this and feel like you have something to add, I love any kind of comments, whether you wanna review the fic, have some useful information for me, would like to discuss a point or just like to say hi! :)

*****

Transverse

If asked, Wei Ying wouldn't have remembered how he had gotten to the bar. He didn't remember taking a different route on the short walk back home, he hadn't even been aware there was a bar in the first place. He only remembered suddenly standing in front of it, aching to his bones, limbs leaden with a familiar exhaustion, morose and longing for nothing more than a little break. His back was on fire, his leg was throbbing, the skin underneath his binder wouldn’t stop itching and to top it off his stomach had been cramping in a way it wasn't supposed to anymore. His body had decided to give him a wonderful gift for the holiday. Wei Ying wouldn't wish this on his worst enemy, and that spoke volumes to anyone who knew who occupied that position.

Needless to say, he was desperate for a drink.

The bar was almost empty so early in the afternoon, and shortly before the holiday, all the regulars had likely gone home to see their families. It was the time of reunions, the golden week of spring knocking on the door. The whole town looked empty, seemingly asleep and abuzz at the same time, a strange kind of liminal space born in the atmosphere of the coming celebrations, quiet with contained impatience. He had been painfully aware of it the entire week, the turning of another year leaving him nothing to do but watch people go where Wei Ying couldn't return anymore.

The Lunar New Year always made him hurt worse than usual, in more ways than purely physical. Wei Ying had felt that strange air peak today, even in the confines of his tiny office at the back of the Pacific Coffee branch he had been working at for a little over two months. It was a tiny thing on the busiest street of their small town, smelling of comfort in the wee hours of the morning and of salvation late in the evening. The staff had needed support with handling the supply chain, so that they could focus on serving the staggering amount of customers that came in all day.

It had seemed perfect when Wei Ying had first limped inside on his forearm crutches, with a letter of recommendation, feeling smaller than an ant but significantly less tough. The reintegration program had been a lifeline thrown to a drowning man when he had first heard about it. It had been the opportunity to restart his life. Earn an income. Be independent. In time maybe even repay his friends for the kindness they had shown when he had nowhere to go. Now? Now he wasn't sure that he'd still have a job after the holiday was over.

"This really can't go on," his boss had said, midway through the most gruesome shift the shop had ever witnessed. "Half the supplies came in wrong, for the third time this week!"

Sometimes, Wei Ying wondered why he still bothered. He could probably survive on aid and love for himself, and the Wens made enough to take care of the rest. It just… It could have been nice. To be the one to take care of the people he cared about, for a change.

He really needed that drink.

The whiskey looked enticing from where he was half-sitting, half-leaning on a stool, crutches stashed between his legs. He could almost taste it, the phantom of the sharp flavor burning his tongue.

"Hi, darling." An unfamiliar voice startled him out of his thoughts, causing him to tense. He had been aware of the middle-aged man at the counter, but he hadn't been paying him much attention until now. "Can I buy you a drink? How about Sex on the Beach?"

It was difficult to control himself at that tasteless, juvenile joke. Wei Ying could almost taste the bile rising in his throat and the beginnings of what would no doubt become a pounding headache throbbing in his temples. Great. Just what he had needed.

The whiskey bottle called out to him again, beckoning him to the bitter burn.

A drink. That was what he needed - a drink.

Do you really? Need it? The voice of his therapist came to his mind, sudden and uninvited.

"Hey bartender!" The man called out in the most unwelcome case of accidental telepathy in the history of mankind, sneaking one arm around Wei Ying’s waist, a sweaty hand settling on his hip. "One Sex on the Beach for the miss, on my tab!"

There was the rising bile again, tension squeezing his muscles, and the flash of a haughty smirk at the furthest back of his mind. This wasn't what he wanted. None of it. Neither the touch nor the drink, no matter what his mind wanted to convince him of.

It's easier to need than the things that take hard work, the ones you have to earn. It had taken him a long time to admit that.

"I don't drink." Wei Ying said, angling his head as much as the muscles of his neck permitted to look at the guy invading his personal space squarely. "Remove your hand now."

The guy bristled.

"Hey, chill out, sweetheart." He was quick to regain his composure with an awkward laugh and not enough common sense. Wei Ying supposed he must have been used to rejection. Too bad. "You're so tense… Maybe a virgin cocktail then."

His crutch shot up before the full sentence was out.

The man stumbled back with a startled yelp as the rubber point connected with his chest in a sharp jab.

"Hey! What's your problem?!"

"I said I don't drink." Wei Ying was completely unapologetic, still holding his crutch like a sword, but the guy was already walking away, muttering ‘fucking bitch’ under his breath.

"You alright there, girl?"

His gut clenched at the words.

He looked up to meet the only slightly worried, but otherwise unbothered gaze of the bartender and told himself it wasn't her fault. She probably wasn't even aware. He knew he didn't… There was no way for him to pass. There was nothing he could do about that, had already decided not to, not at this time, not in this country. Wei Ying didn't expect people to know on sight. He didn't. It didn't change the fact though that every single misnomer felt like someone was peeling his skin off.

"I'm not a girl," he said to her almost too quietly, but he knew she heard when he met her gaze. A strained silence passed between them in which Wei Ying watched her frown in confusion, then sputter with the loss of words, before awkwardly shuffling off. He smiled wryly. How funny. It really wasn't anything complicated, and yet… So few were able to comprehend.

Wordlessly, Wei Ying slid off the stool and made his way out of the bar as quick as his crutches let him be.

Once outside, the crisp air mercilessly purifying, he realized how close to the edge he had gotten once again. He had to stop doing this. He couldn't afford another fall, another spiral back down the drain. Not when he had just clawed his way out. Not when he had people depending on him now. Tiny people with curious gray eyes, so much like his own. Waiting for him at home.

Something icy touched his face and instinctively he looked up only to find it snowing.

That explained the ache.

The cold always made him feel sore, although he knew at least some of it was phantom pain. He hadn’t retained a whole lot of feeling in his left leg, beyond a tingle that had become almost constant and the occasional twitch. His right leg was fine, it just tended to ache a lot, to a point where Wei Ying sometimes found himself wishing it wasn't better off than the other one. But then he wouldn't get away with 'forgetting' his wheelchair at home, so he quickly dismissed that thought. Besides, there were plenty of people who had it worse. He, at least, could still walk. He could still stand. Kinda. He had no room to complain.

After all, he had done this to himself.

'It's better this way.' He remembered thinking, standing on the top of the catwalk stairs backstage of the high school auditorium. 'A-jie, Jiang Cheng,… Lan Zhan. I'm sorry for the trouble I've caused you. I love you. I'll get out of your hair now.'

In the end it had been easy to tip backwards and let himself fall.

Waking up had been the hard part. Not only had he failed, but every reason that had pushed him to end it all had only been made worse. Worse still, after. He had lived though, so that was that. There was no utility in regret. He couldn't go back. The only way was forward now, step by painful step. Standing around and staring at the snow falling was nice, but it wouldn't make the walk shorter. Home wasn't far away. He'd take it slow. He'd be there before he knew it.

He barely took three steps before he felt someone's broad shoulder bump against his, his equilibrium yanked roughly from under his feet.

He remembered falling.

Not the act of it, nor every thought and feeling that preceded it, but he remembered the soft pressure at his skull as he tipped backwards, the endless instant of the free fall, a moment frozen in time. Not the impact, but the inevitability of it, coming, coming, almost there. The loss of control. The frightening, exhilarating realization of his absolute surrender. Not the oblivion that followed but the fragments of muddled awareness afterwards. Disorientation, rock bottom and the overwhelming sense of failure.

It had felt nothing like now.

He felt the loss of ground beneath his feet, the scrape of concrete against his palms, as he all but starfished onto the pavement. A sharp pain. The frustrated annoyance of another thing gone wrong in the long list that made up the day.

Only the failure felt the same, funny that.

"I'm sorry!" Said a deep voice. "I wasn't looking."

"Yeah, no shit." He chuckled, because really, who could have guessed.

"Here, let me help." There were hands on his arm, just as he propped himself up, but he yanked it away.

"I'm fine!" He wasn't helpless. He wasn't, dammit! He had his arms, his abdominals, and most of his legs. Getting up from the ground wasn't such a herculean task for him as for those who depended on a wheelchair. He didn't have to call an ambulance just because he starfished. He didn't need any help at all here, especially not the help of some ditzy stranger with their head in the clouds…

"Wei Ying?"

Wei Ying froze.

Few people on this Earth called him that, and none of them had a voice like that. He looked up to see glowing amber on a face carved out of a dream.

"Lan Zhan?"

Of all the people to be in town today of all days, the least likely would have to be Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan, his former senior, Lan Zhan, his best friend. Lan Zhan, whom he had told his secrets, Lan Zhan, who he… who he…

"Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan… Can I kiss you? I understand you don't like me that way, and it's fine, I'm fine, really, but… uhm… It's supposed to be special. The first kiss. I… I want it to be yours. Just one kiss." A child he barely remembered had wanted and wanted, never satisfied. "Ah, it's okay if you don't want to. I get it. It's fine. I'm just being selfish."

But that had been a long time ago. A person he didn't know, a past life that had never truly been. Not for him in any case.

Lan Zhan was looking at him like a ghost had appeared in front of him.

Although, ghosts didn't need crutches. Honestly, Wei Ying did wish he could float quite frequently.

Face twisted in sardonic amusement at that childish wish, he pulled himself up with some maneuvering and a lot of effort. This seemed to wake Lan Zhan from his daze as he quickly followed. Wei Ying didn't miss the sweeping gaze as his once friend took him in, wondering what he saw. A stranger, perhaps? A new person? Him? Wei Ying knew he hadn't changed much on the outside, aside the obvious and maybe in his weight distribution, but Lan Zhan had always had the ability to look past the surface. Was he still able to do that? Or was he just taking in his appearance, assessing his matted, worn out body that seemed to show every year that had passed multiplied by ten? Wei Ying was aware that time had not been the kindest to him, but he was hanging on. He was past the worst now. He was doing better. He was!

He wondered if Lan Zhan still could see that too.

"Wei Ying." His name again, spoken with enough wonder to give Wei Ying the courage to meet his gaze. There was an unspoken question in it.

"Yeah," Wei Ying answered and felt the cusp of a smile pull at the corners of his lips. "Long time no see, Lan Zhan. Fancy meeting you here."

"I really like you, Lan Zhan," the person he didn't know had said, red faced with embarrassment and a shaking voice. "I mean like… like like."

Back then he had believed that moment to be the most nerve-wracking experience he was ever going to survive. Today he missed his naivety.

Lan Zhan gave him a look like he just realized it was really Wei Ying standing in front of him. Like he still could barely believe it. It unraveled a completely different ache in Wei Ying. They had been close once, and though they had always shared their secrets, Wei Ying had seen him so open and unguarded but once.

"I...like...boys," had been the answer. The refusal so, so gentle, unable to accept, thus giving something of equal value in return instead. A truth for a truth, a secret for a secret. "Wei Ying, I'm gay."

Lan Zhan, always figuring things out so quickly, always willing to accept reality no matter how hard it was. Wei Ying hadn't known back then. If he had known… Who knew what would have been then. It didn't matter anymore. It was a life long gone. What remained of it were a few good memories, some of them he wasn't sure were real.

Now, chance had made them cross paths once again, at a liminal space transversing through time.

"Are you hurt?" Lan Zhan's voice brought him back from his thoughts, and Wei Ying looked where he was reaching for his scraped hands and knees.

Lan Zhan, always the same Lan Zhan… "Not selfish."

So wonderful and kind and warm.

"Eh, I'm fine. Nothing Wen Qing can't fix." He brushed his former friend off, noticing how Lan Zhan's eyebrow seemed to go up infinitesimally at the mention of his old classmate and promptly changed the subject. "What brings you to Yiling, Lan Zhan? Shouldn't you be with your family for Chun Jie?"

"I…" Lan Zhan looked away. "Didn't get an earlier flight."

That sounded suspicious, especially since the Lan Zhan Wei Ying knew liked to plan ahead. But Wei Ying wasn't the same he had been, maybe Lan Zhan wasn't either. People were allowed to change. It also didn't answer what he was doing in Yiling in the first place, but Wei Ying wasn't forcing him to tell. Wei Ying had never wanted to force Lan Zhan into anything, he wasn't going to start now.

"Wei Ying." Lan Zhan looked at him again, this time meeting his eyes squarely. He paused. "How have you been?"

Wei Ying felt the loom of a shadow over him, and his gaze dropped to the ground for a second.

"As you can see." He put a reassuring smile on his face as he summoned enough will to hold Lan Zhan's gaze. "Still alive and kicking."

Which was probably much more than the last time Lan Zhan had heard of him.

"I was looking for you. I wanted to see you. After." The what remained unspoken. Lan Zhan's kind heart hadn't changed. Wei Ying sought comfort in it, warmed by the thought of his best friend trying to get in touch even after everything went to hell. "I was told you… left."

Wei Ying made a soft sound of affirmation through the small smile that had spread on his face. "I moved out on my eighteenth birthday. Aunt Yu… I was supposed to stay till graduation, but... ah. I fucked up. Colossally."

"Wei Ying." Lan Zhan remained the only person Wei Ying knew who managed to frown without a single crease on his face. "You were recovering."

"It was fine, Lan Zhan." Wei Ying chuckled even as he held back a sigh. Lan Zhan didn't know half of it. "I moved in with the Wens."

There was a pause.

"With Wen Qing?" Lan Zhan asked and Wei Ying realized that small detail wouldn't have been immediately clear to him, all things considered.

"With Wen Qing and her family." He nodded. After a moment of thought he added. "Not Wen Chao. I know nothing about that douchebag."

"Mn," Lan Zhan agreed and it sounded so wholehearted that it startled a laugh out of Wei Ying.

"Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan," Wei Ying said, feeling truly light for the first time in a long time. The smile he gave Lan Zhan felt warm and genuine. He hoped Lan Zhan saw it too, and didn't think Wei Ying was trying to shake him off, when he spoke next. "It's so good to see you. You're the best thing that happened to me today. I would love to catch up, but they're waiting for me at home and I'm already late."

"Mn." Lan Zhan nodded. There was a pause. Then, just as Wei Ying was about to ask for his number, "I could. Walk you. If you like."

"I thought you had a flight to catch." Wei Ying wanted to smack his mouth for how hopeful he sounded.

"Mn," Lan Zhan said. "In the evening."

"Lan Zhan!" He startled, amused and surprised at the same time. "And here I thought your bedtime was nine! Don't tell me you crossed to the dark side."

"It is Chuxi." Lan Zhan's voice was soft with a playful note, and Wei Ying felt his heart turn all over again even as he laughed.

"Aiya, Lan Zhan…" A smile spread on his face. "Alright then. I'd love to have your company. If you're sure."

"I am," Lan Zhan answered. "I would… very much like to… catch up with you."

"Well then." Wei Ying's smile broadened and started again in the direction he was heading earlier. "Right this way, sir. But I'm warning you. I'm basically a snail now."

For a beat there was silence, in which Wei Ying figured that Lan Zhan was probably looking for a proper response. He still didn't know how to handle self-deprecating humor, then. Wei Ying chuckled quietly to himself. The more things change…

"That is alright," Lan Zhan finally said. "I have time."

"Oh, do you? That's great!" Wei Ying grinned from ear to ear, marveling at how easy it suddenly was. "Aah, Lan Zhan I really missed this!"

"Mn," Lan Zhan agreed but didn't say anything else.

For a few moments silence reigned again, of a comfortable kind. One that allowed Wei Ying to bask in the startling, almost miraculous presence of his best friend. Or it would have been, had Wei Ying not been keenly aware of Lan Zhan's intense stare.

"Do I really look that bad?" He teased, hoping to give Lan Zhan the opening he probably needed to ask whatever questions he had. "I've actually gained weight over Dongzhi you know."

Lan Zhan blinked, as if startled to be called out. Wasn't he aware that he had been staring? Or had he not expected Wei Ying to say something?

"You look…" he started, then swept his gaze over Wei Ying.

"Tired?" Wei Ying offered, keeping the humor in his words. The last thing he wanted Lan Zhan to think was that he needed to sugar coat his words around him now. "Stressed? Battle worn?"

"Different," Lan Zhan finished.

"Ah." Wei Ying breathed out, something in his chest tightening. "Good different, or bad different?"

Lan Zhan looked at him for a long moment.

"Different you," he finally answered. A pause. "More you."

Wei Ying's breath stuttered, a small questioning sound dragging itself up his throat.

"Wei Ying…" Lan Zhan hesitated for a brief moment, unsure. "May I know your pronouns?"

Always so straight to the point.

"Pro… Pronouns?!" Wei Ying chuckled but even he could hear the nerves buzzing through that sound. "How did you figure that?"

Lan Zhan just kept looking at him. Wei Ying swallowed.

"I…"

He had to know. Since he actually asked, he had to already know. Or at least suspect. Be aware. In general, or about Wei Ying? Had he realized in their years apart, or was there something about Wei Ying now that made him guess? No one has ever been able to tell upon glance. No one.

Something fluttered deep in his chest, like the jingles of a tambourine reverberating. It gave him courage.

Wei Ying took a deep, steadying breath. "He, him, Lan Zhan. It's he, him."

He managed to swallow the thousand words that dragged themselves up his throat instead of that one, simple truth. To his credit, Lan Zhan let him, waiting patiently and with complete silence for Wei Ying to say his part.

"I'm trans," Wei Ying added, finding it easier to say after the initial confession. "As in full time, on actual testosterone, trans male."

Their eyes met. A heartbeat of silence.

"Mn." Lan Zhan nodded. "Makes sense."

Wei Ying had not expected that.

In his defense, no one had ever replied like that to him coming out.

"What?" He choked out, bewildered. Lan Zhan was giving him a gentle look, a diametrical opposite of Wei Ying's wide eyes. "Why does that make sense, Lan Zhan?"

"It didn't before." Lan Zhan's gaze dropped. "Now it does."

"What? Why?" Wei Ying repeated, not comprehending a single word his friend had said. At the back of his mind he knew he should be happy and relieved that as dear a friend as Lan Zhan accepted him, and he would be later, but now he was just confused. "Lan Zhan, what are you saying?"

"You confounded me. Before. I didn't understand. It didn't. Add up." He didn't even expect an answer beyond a shrug and an 'It just does', and yet Lan Zhan gave him one, trying to explain like he wanted Wei Ying to understand something important. Important enough to bring it up at their first chance meeting in years. It still didn't clear anything up. The way he was dragging his words out seemed odd too, for how upfront Lan Zhan usually was.

"What didn't add up?" Wei Ying asked again. What about him had confused Lan Zhan?

"I didn't know you were a boy. So it didn't make sense," Lan Zhan answered without looking up and Wei Ying felt dread tighten his stomach into a knot. "But now it does."

"What?" He frowned, the rush of blood pounding in his ears. "Lan Zhan, what are you talking about?"

Lan Zhan finally looked up at him and Wei Ying suddenly felt light headed. The grip on his crutches must have gone knuckle white from how firmly he was gripping the handles. It couldn't be…

"I was confused why I liked you," Lan Zhan whispered, dropping his gaze again. "Why I enjoyed kissing you."

Wei Ying's brain was white static.

No. No, no, no, no, no, no, "No!"

His whole body wanted to recoil with shock.

"Wei Ying," Lan Zhan pleaded but was cut short.

"I confessed to you! I told you I liked you!" He saw the bob of Lan Zhan's throat, how his eyes fell shut as he swallowed. Wei Ying despaired for words that could express the entire scale of emotions he felt, from betrayal to hope, but mostly just... shock. "You said you… You've never… And now, after everything… Do you even… Lan Zhan!!!"

"Wei Ying," he said his name like it was all he was capable of saying, with a hitch of sudden hesitance on the last syllable, a minuscule frown around his eyes, like he realized something important. "Do you still call yourself Wei Ying?"

The quiet question conjured up another memory, of an occasion much kinder.

"It's my birth name," he heard his youthful voice, still too high although most had described it as low. Lan Zhan had raised an eyebrow at him, even more puzzled than before. Wei Ying had laughed as he went to explain. "Same character as in 'infant'. Wuxian is the name uncle Jiang gave me so that I have a better name than, you know, 'baby'. It's a cool name! I mean, 'no envy' come on! Like I have no match in the world! Totally rad, you know, uncle Jiang's naming sense is A+."

"But you prefer Wei Ying." Lan Zhan had looked at him then, searchingly and Wei Ying had looked away with a snort, to hide his swallow.

"It's a terrible name. Who the hell names their baby 'baby'?"

Lan Zhan hadn't replied anything to that, and Wei Ying still remembered his next words, and how they had burned on his tongue, how he couldn't hold them back.

"It's what the people who loved me had called me."

In the present, Wei Ying found himself laughing in spite of the utter shock. Only Lan Zhan. Only Lan Zhan would give him a heart attack first then go make sure he wasn't deadnaming him on top of everything.

"Lan Zhan!!!" He cried out. "That's so not the point right now! But, yes, I do. I changed it back, actually. Officially, I mean."

"You dislike it." It sounded more like a question than a statement, so Wei Ying answered.

"Don't get me wrong, I still think Wuxian is way cooler, and my siblings still call me that, but…" His gaze fell away from Lan Zhan to something more distant, beyond his focus as he struggled over his words, drawing them out only with great difficulty from where they were rooted deep inside of him. "It's the name given to the image of a person that never really existed. Like… the painting of a person you met in a dream. And I sorta… I like to imagine that, regardless of who I am… They would still love me."

They. The people who gave him that horrible, unimaginative name.

"Mn," Lan Zhan agreed like there had never been any doubt about it. Wei Ying snorted.

"Wei Ying," there it was again, his name, spoken so kindly, if not hesitantly as Lan Zhan too seemed to be struggling for words. "I would like to apologize. I hurt you. I have been looking for you to tell you this."

All at once, Wei Ying felt his shock settle into something more profound, like the wave that had swallowed him revealing the depth of the ocean. There was nothing Lan Zhan had to apologize for. Not for the lack of awareness, and certainly not for his feelings. Even their conflicts had always stemmed from a place of deep care.

"No." Wei Ying shook his head. "Not more than I hurt myself, Lan Zhan. Even when you scolded me, you never hurt me."

Had Lan Zhan broken his heart? Yeah, he had. So what? Did that mean he could be held accountable for it? Wei Ying's feelings were his own shit to deal with, not Lan Zhan's. Returning them wasn't Lan Zhan's duty. Even if he returned them, would it be fair to fault him for running away from them? For feeling insecure and anxious about his own attraction? For not knowing these things weren't as clear cut as all the adults around them had wanted to make them believe? It wasn't like Wei Ying had known either back then. He had, perhaps, understood himself even less than Lan Zhan. Most importantly, it was all in the past now. It couldn't be changed. What they made of it now was what mattered.

"None of my bullshit is your fault," he added. "You didn't go and tell me to fuck up my life. That was all on me."

"You wrote," Lan Zhan started, then paused, hesitating, then started again. "In your letter, you wrote…"

Wei Ying picked up on the question immediately.

"Not you," he said, the same words he had penned all those years ago in what was one of only two letters. "Never you. I had my reasons, but none of them were about you. In fact, I thought of you as the last good thing in my life at that point. The one true friend I still had left."

Lan Zhan's gaze fell on his crutches, but he didn't ask. Wei Ying was grateful.

"Come on, I need to get a move on," he said, starting to walk again, smiling at the surprised expression Lan Zhan had given him, when he realized he was still welcome to accompany him. Maybe it was something about that look that made Wei Ying add, after another second of thought, "There are people waiting for my return."

"Mn," Lan Zhan hummed, falling back in step next to him. "That's good. You should have people waiting for you at home."

Wei Ying couldn't help but smile.

"Say, Lan Zhan,…" he said after a few seconds of silence, when all what Lan Zhan has confessed slowly sunk in. "When you say you've been looking for me… You mean all this time?"

"Mn." Lan Zhan nodded. Wei Ying watched him gather his thoughts, the snow fluttering all around them. "I wanted to see you. Ask how you were doing. See if… If you needed support. Apologize. For not being a good friend to you before."

"Lan Zhan…" Wei Ying listened to him, and when Lan Zhan finally looked up at him his gaze was so sincere that his heart ached with it.

"I wanted to tell you the truth." Lan Zhan didn't let himself be interrupted. "That I liked you back. Without any expectations. That I didn't understand, but that it didn't matter. That I could like you without understanding why. That I wasn't asking for anything, just wanted you to know. That I wanted to help, in any way you'd let me."

"Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan…" Wei Ying sighed, vision suddenly blurred. He drew a deep breath. "But I wasn't there."

"Mn." Lan Zhan nodded. "I asked your sister where I could find you…"

"But she didn't know," Wei Ying finished for him. No one knew, except one person. "And Jiang Cheng wouldn't give you my address if you held him at gunpoint."

"Your brother knows you're here." It had the structure of a question but it was spoken as a statement, the same kind of incredulous as the look Lan Zhan was giving him. All things considered, it was kinda fair, Wei Wuxian thought as he barked a laugh.

"Yeah," he said, shoulders shaking a little as he snickered. "He's the designated secret keeper."

Lan Zhan just stared, wordlessly.

Wei Ying's smile gained an edge at the unspoken question. He had to clear his throat before he answered. "We're… not quite alright yet, but… Ah, how do I say this? He's the better judge of the situation? With, uhm, aunt Yu, I mean. It's… complicated."

Honestly, when wasn't it?

"I… see." Lan Zhan really didn't sound like he did, but didn't press, continuing his story instead. "Your sister was able to tell me which city you were in. So I… applied for a job."

Wait. Pause. Rewind.

"You work here?!" Wei Ying felt his jaw go slack.

"As an attorney. At 'Xiao and Song'," Lan Zhan confirmed, then looked back at Wei Ying. "Civil law. With focus on LGBTQ+ rights. I passed the bar last year."

"You…" There was so much to unpack in that statement that Wei Ying couldn't quite get the words together fast enough. At the back of his mind he was aware he should probably congratulate Lan Zhan on his degree but he was too stunned by the other, more important implications. "You've moved here? For work? All because… Because… You were looking for me?"

"Mn."

"Lan Zhan!" His amazing friend who, for some reason, in spite of having a great new life had been desperate to find him. "But you… But I…"

"Wei Ying," he spoke so, so softly, but with clear intent to stop any protest Wei Ying might have wanted to utter. It worked. Wei Ying's mouth fell shut, taking his friend in with a bright, wide gaze. "I missed you. I have no expectations. I just… missed you."

Warmth spread in Wei Ying's chest over the tender words, like a dying flame rekindled.

"Lan Zhan..." He didn't quite know what to say, oddly touched. "It's how you knew, isn't it? I'm not the only trans person you've met."

"There was a client," Lan Zhan admitted. "They made me think of you. I have wanted to ask you since. I wanted to know if… If I made a mistake."

He didn't specify what mistake he feared being guilty of. He didn't really have to.

For a while Wei Ying just looked at him.

"Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan…" He sighed, a small but genuine smile stealing itself onto his lips. "You… you're something else, you know that?"

Lan Zhan didn't reply, but there was something vulnerable in his expression.

"I missed you too."

Lan Zhan's eyes snapped back to Wei Ying's face, full of naked hope and a surprise so honest and pure that Wei Ying's heartstrings almost snapped. He could accept it. He could accept a friend longing for his company, even as his heart hammered against his chest like it was trying to escape its utter desolation.

"I couldn't have expected you to know something I didn't realize until much later." He hadn't realized there was tension around his friend's eyes until it relaxed.

Wei Ying took him in, his entire appearance and noted that although perfectly poised and immaculately dressed, beneath it all there was an exhaustion, a tension he didn't recognize. He thought about their meeting – the collision of two bodies launched out of their orbit – and everything else Lan Zhan had told him and a question dragged itself on his tongue that refused to be swallowed back in.

"Say, Lan Zhan… Since we are being so honest..." He asked before he could have thought better of it. "Why aren't you in Suzhou yet, for real? You always went home at least two weeks ahead of the festival. Did something happen?"

If there was something happening with Lan Zhan's family… Well, Wei Ying had missed enough opportunities to be a good friend in all the years they had been apart, or even before that. If Lan Zhan wanted to be his friend, Wei Ying was returning that tenfold. A secret for a secret, a truth for a truth.

If Lan Zhan wanted, that was.

For a second Wei Ying wasn't sure, but then the broad shoulders slumped, heaving like a weight was being lifted off them.

"I didn't always intend to go," Lan Zhan admitted. "Brother convinced me at the last moment. I wish he hadn't."

Their eyes met and Wei Ying felt a sudden heat spread through his cheeks at the intensity of Lan Zhan's gaze. He didn't take the bait, waiting patiently instead.

"I came out to my uncle. After the bar." Lan Zhan's gaze fell to the ground again, and Wei Ying already knew what he was about to say, aching dread settling painfully in his chest. "He did not… react well. He tried to set me up immediately afterwards."

"Aw man..." Wei Ying tried to sound both gentle and sympathetic without being too pitying. In his experience that never helped. "Yeah, I get that you didn't want to go home after that."

"Mn." Lan Zhan nodded, but said no more.

"Was she at least pretty?" Wei Ying tried to joke, unable to bear that forlorn expression on Lan Zhan's face and incapable of thinking of anything better to cheer his friend up. It would have been easy in the past, but now, with years containing entire lifetimes between them he didn't know anymore how to make Lan Zhan laugh.

But then Lan Zhan's lips twitched a little, so maybe not all was lost.

"Luo Qingyang," he answered, like Wei Ying was supposed to know the vaguely familiar name. Lan Zhan responded to his confused frown with his own and went on to explain. "You were in the drama club together. She was… Juliet. To your Romeo."

Very few guys had been in the drama club at that time, so Wei Ying had usually gotten the main male protagonist. He had loved it. It had been one of the reasons why he had joined the drama club in the first place. His co-star in all of that...

"Mianmian!" He exclaimed, eyes bright with delight. "It's been ages since I've last…"...Seen her. Seen anyone, he didn't say, schooled his expression and laughed instead. "I can't believe they tried to set you up with Mianmian! How is she?"

"Mn," Lan Zhan made a small sound out agreement that amused Wei Ying, before he answered. "She is well. Studying. Also law. She will take the bar next year."

"All of you are so smart…" Wei Ying chuckled, fond with more memories. "You know I made out with her once?" He promptly laughed at Lan Zhan's expression. "Relax, it wasn't as good as with you."

Their eyes met again and Wei Ying saw something like hope spark in Lan Zhan's eyes, which…

Wei Ying stopped. He let his gaze wander around, collecting his thoughts. He startled as he realized he was almost home, the agonizing minutes he usually needed reduced to nothing in the presence of his friend. The ache that had gnawed at his limbs earlier had all but disappeared, replaced by a longing ache in his heart.

"Lan Zhan," he found himself speaking without the input of his mind. "You said you liked me, so you should know… I don't intend to have surgery." He saw Lan Zhan open his mouth, probably to assure him once more of his pure intentions, which Wei Ying didn't need to hear. "I know, I know, you have no expectations, and I'm not saying we have to, but… My feelings for you never changed. I still like you, but I'm also… I'm a man Lan Zhan, but I'm not adjusting my body. Not to that degree."

"Is it a financial issue?" Lan Zhan asked after a pause and Wei Ying cut him off before he could continue with something ridiculous like an offer to pay.

"It's… not not about money, but…" He thought for a moment about how to say what he wanted to say. "Regardless of that, I refuse to go through all the legal hoops that this government would demand of me, like I'm supposed to beg them just to be who I am. And... Besides that…" He took a deep breath. "I think I'd like to have another child."

"Another…" There was a strangled sound, which he ignored, forcing himself to voice what he'd been struggling to put into words for a while now.

"I want to give it one more try. Voluntarily," Wei Ying found it difficult to say, despite the thought of a baby in his arms filling him with a warmth he wouldn't have expected mere years ago. "With someone I actually like this time."

"This time." There was something very wrong with the tone of Lan Zhan's voice, and as Wei Ying looked up at him, realization hit him with the force of a freight train.

"Oh! Oh no!" Lan Zhan's eyes were akin to saucers, and Wei Ying vaguely thought he had never seen his friend express shock so openly. "Fuck, I'm so dumb! Of course you don't know! How would you know?!"

Of course that very same moment, before Lan Zhan had any chance of collecting himself, a cheerful shout echoed through the street in an all too familiar, youthful voice. "BABA!!!"

Wei Ying winced. In the way life usually was – his life in particular – before Wei Ying could come up with a single word of explanation, there was the flurry of movement, and a warmth enveloping his leg – the better one.

"Baba, baba, you're home!"

Wei Ying's eyes fell down to the source of the excited noise to have two mischievous gray eyes reflected back at him. An unbidden smile spread on his face.

"A-Yuan!" He shifted around a little until he could safely run his fingers through the child's hair, even as he was keenly aware of the man next to him. "Have you been waiting for me?"

There was a twinkle and a nod, his very own baby's face beaming up at him with unabashed adoration. A tiny hand wrapped itself around his wrist and just like that the last of the day's stress fell away. He looked back at Lan Zhan. It was difficult to describe the expression his friend was giving him, frozen with disbelief, shock and something too close to horror, as his mind seemed to be rearranging and reevaluating every piece of information known to him. Finding no point in delaying the inevitable, Wei Ying braced himself and went for it.

"Lan Zhan, this is a-Yuan. He's mine. Gave birth to him and all." He made a point to smile, although Lan Zhan's expression remained unchanged. Deciding to give him the space he needed to get himself together, Wei Ying turned his attention back to his child. "A-Yuan, this is Lan Zhan. He's an old friend of mine from school. Want to introduce yourself?"

"Hello!" A-Yuan said before Wei Ying even finished the sentence. "I'm a-Yuan and I'm already four years old! I like butterflies and bunnies! Baba gave me Radish and a coloring book for my birthday. I was four last month! I love my baba bestest! But I love xiao-shushu und Qing-guma and granny and uncle Shi lotsa too!"

It was an altogether perfect introduction, and Wei Ying felt pride and love thrumming through his heart with a strength he hadn't believed to be possible. He watched the mental math behind Lan Zhan's eyes, a complicated expression spreading on his friend's face. He decided to give him another moment to complete the mental calculations and focused on something else that a-Yuan had reminded him of.

"Speaking of, where's your xiao-shushu?" Wei Ying looked around, then with growing suspicion back at the child still wrapped around his leg. "Did you ditch him again?"

Mischief spread on a-Yuan's face as he hid in Wei Ying's thigh.

"A-Yuan." Wei Ying narrowed his eyes at him, gently scolding. "We've talked about this. No walking around on your own. What if something happened?"

"But I'm with you," came the simple answer. "I have to help you walk. You said! To help you walk I have to take your hand. I saw you and gege wasn't holding your hand, so I came to help."

"Ah, so filial, a-Yuan…" Wei Ying looked up to the skies, silently begging the heavens for strength while fighting a ferocious blush. This child of his was as much a blessing as he was a huge trouble. The best kind of trouble, if Wei Ying was honest.

"A-Yuan!"

He was still busy trying to change his smile into something more stern, when as if on cue the uncle in question appeared around the corner, calling for his nephew, looking just as frantic as Wei Ying expected him to be. He waited for Wen Ning's eyes to find them, before he looked back down at a-Yuan.

"See how worried Wen Ning is? You can't do this, a-Yuan." The child's expression fell. "Go tell him you're alright and apologize for running away."

A-Yuan didn't waste a single second, rocketing towards his uncle with an excited call.

With his child safe in the most dependable arms that there were, Wei Ying turned to Lan Zhan again. His friend's eyes were closed, face pulled into a tight expression, lips pressed into a thin line, all of which told him what conclusion Lan Zhan had reached.

"It was part of the reason," Wei Ying said, because he knew Lan Zhan would never ask and he wanted his friend to know. "But it wasn't all of it."

Lan Zhan's eyes opened, his look agonized but not pitying, Wei Ying realized.

"There were many things going on," he said. "It was all so fucked up… I knew I couldn't keep him, and somehow I figured… Might as well go together. In the end we both survived, funny that."

"The father. The father is…" Lan Zhan trailed off, couldn't bring himself to say the name, but he didn't have to. Just as Wei Ying didn't have to answer other than with a rueful smile. After all, there was only one option. Lan Zhan drew a deep breath. "Was it… Did he…"

Here too, Wei Ying knew what he was asking, felt it like the edge of a knife against his skin.

"I don't want to talk about it." He swallowed, a prickling at the corners of his eyelids. "Not yet, at least. I'll tell you the story another time."

Lan Zhan nodded. Worried his jaw. Wei Ying waited.

"Was that why you… left?" His voice was so quiet that if Wei Ying wasn't paying attention, he probably wouldn't have noticed he had said anything at all.

"To put it in the words of aunt Yu, whores aren't welcome under her roof. She threatened to leave uncle Jiang, if he kept supporting me. It's fine," he added quickly when he saw Lan Zhan's face darkening. "Uncle Jiang gave me the trust fund he had for me, which wasn't little, I have a job and I get some aid from the government too. There's also granny's pension and everyone else is working. You don't have to worry, Lan Zhan, we get by."

Lan Zhan looked like he wanted to say something cutting, but luckily they were interrupted by Wen Ning joining them, a-Yuan in his arms. He was probably getting too big for that, but he knew first hand that Wen Ning could lift a full-sized adult without breaking a sweat so he wasn't very worried for either of them.

"Wei-ge, welcome home," Wen Ning greeted him. His eyes wandered to Lan Zhan for a brief moment, then to Wei Ying's hands which were still scraped. "Is everything alright?"

"More than!" Wei Ying ignored the look, grinning and watched a-Yuan beam at him. "Everything's perfect, look who I met in town! You remember Lan Zhan, right? He was in the same class with Wen Qing. Turns out he works here!"

Wei Ying managed to say all of that in one breath before he even realized he was doing it, yet consciously leaving out the bar and without bothering to detail exactly how the 'bumping' went down. Wen Ning took it all in, then gave Lan Zhan a polite smile, his dark eyes meeting Lan Zhan's squarely.

"I know of Lan-xianbei," he said slowly, cautiously polite, before his expression settled into a smile and he inclined his head in greeting. "We've never met officially."

There was a brief round of long overdue introductions, which Wei Ying was happy to ignore in favor of watching a-Yuan grow increasingly fascinated with Lan Zhan. It etched the lines around Wei Ying's smile deeper into his features, in a way he hasn't felt for a long time.

"A-Yuan." he couldn't help but pinch one of the chubby cheeks, after a little shifting of weight. "You keep looking at Lan Zhan like that, he'll think you like him."

"Pretty gege," was all a-Yuan had to say to that, a smile splitting his face, while Lan Zhan's ears turned red. Wei Ying laughed, alight with surprise that the one tell-tale sign of his shyness still remained. Lan Zhan was looking at a-Yuan with increasing curiosity, that pained line from earlier disappearing from his features, slowly replaced by wonder instead.

Wei Ying only looked away when he felt a tiny finger poke at his cheek, angling his head towards a-Yuan to listen to whatever secret his son wanted to share.

"Will pretty gege stay for dinner?" A-Yuan whispered through his hands, causing a complicated set of feelings to run through Wei Ying's chest.

"Sorry, sweetheart, but Lan-shushu can't stay." Wei Ying mock pouted at his son. "He has a flight to catch later."

"Why?" A-Yuan asked, as he did all the time.

"He has to visit his family," Wei Ying answered.

"Oh…" A-Yuan's face fell. There was no doubt in Wei Ying's mind had the answer been anything else, he would have kept asking, but if there was one word a-Yuan understood better than anyone, it was 'family'. It didn't mean he liked it. "But… But I heard! I heard that we will have a party tonight! I cleaned my room, and I did a picture for teacher, and helped granny bake! I was the bestest and uncle said I could stay up extra long tonight 'cause then baba would live forever!"

"I didn't say forever," Wen Ning corrected him timidly, but neither of them paid attention to him, the poor soul. A-Yuan only heard what he wanted to hear, and Wei Ying was too busy making sure his heart didn't burst. He still sometimes couldn't quite believe how much he loved this child.

"Me too." It came unexpectedly from beside him, and when Wei Ying turned to look he found Lan Zhan looking almost as surprised as he felt. "I mean, I also usually stay up longer on Chuxi."

A-Yuan's smile eclipsed the sun. Lan Zhan returned it with an expression so impossibly soft that Wei Ying's heart almost did burst then.

"Pretty gege can stay, and his family can come too, and I will draw everyone a picture!" A-Yuan all but vibrated with bare excitement that Wei Ying felt bad that he had to chide him.

"A-Yuan, do we tell people what they can and can't do, or do we ask?" He had picked the gentlest way possible, but his son still hid his face in his uncle's neck, utterly dejected.

To be fair, Lan Zhan looked rather stricken himself. It was adorable to watch and Wei Ying… Wei Ying knew that no matter whatever feelings he might be harboring, he only came as a set with his son. There was no possible way of heaping that responsibility on another person from the get go, on top of everything else, and yet. And yet. Lan Zhan was regarding a-Yuan with such fondness that it did strange things to Wei Ying's heart, and just like that courage bloomed in Wei Ying's chest.

"How about a compromise? Lan Zhan," he asked carefully. "You still have a few hours left until you have to be at the airport, don't you? Would you… Would you like to come inside?"

"Yes, yes, yes! Please, pretty gege, pretty please." A-Yuan loved the idea, immediately reaching his arms out in silent demand to be held. Wei Ying could only watch as Wen Ning oh so carefully leaned forward and tightened his hold so that a-Yuan could safely launch himself into Lan Zhan's open, waiting arms. He bet Lan Zhan hadn't even noticed how he held them out in a response that had seemed completely automatic.

"A-Yuan," Wei Ying reprimanded him gently, doing everything he could to ignore the adorable pout that pressed into Lan Zhan's shoulder. It was difficult to do with his heart singing like that.

"I would hate to intrude," Lan Zhan replied hesitantly, his eyes not leaving a-Yuan for a second and Wei Ying felt his heart constrict.

"I don't think anyone would mind," Wen Ning said, smiling gently.

"It won't be an issue, Lan Zhan, really." Their eyes met. "We still have a lot to… catch up on."

There was a spark that darkened Lan Zhan's eyes briefly, something heavy settling in the air between the two of them. Chance had brought Lan Zhan back into his life, and Wei Ying wanted to hold on. In any way he was allowed to. As long as he was allowed to.

"And you could meet… You could meet my family." Warmth spread deep in Wei Ying's chest as the word 'family' echoed in his mind, before he added in a whisper. "If you like."

"Wei Ying…" Finally, after what felt like an entire eternity, Lan Zhan spoke, the softest of smiles spreading on his face, gentle as the first rays of the sun on a misty morning. "I would very much love to meet your family."

"Great!" Wei Ying felt the smile split his face from one ear to another and amidst the cheers of his child that echoed the ones in his heart and started towards the door that Wen Ning held open for him. "Come on in then! Let's give everyone the shock of their life that I brought home such a handsome man!"

"Wei Ying…" It was spoken as a reprimand but it sounded like a chuckle.

"Hi, handsome! You're Lan Zhan, right? I've heard all about you!" Somewhere in his memory a cheerful voice greeted the most beautiful youth that there ever was. "I'm Wei Wuxian. I'll let you call me Wei Ying."

The door fell shut to the sound of Wei Ying's laugh.

#vedrividia #wangxianLNY21 #*LNYfic21 #*LNYgifts21

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liquidcryptogold · 3 years

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rgr-pop · 4 years

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Re: canvassing for Bernie. I guess mostly advice on being effective. I went canvassing in Va before Super Tuesday and felt pretty ineffective, we used the minivan app which just showed us dem voters which makes sense right before the election but I’m wondering if I should widen the net going forward? Idk I’d be canvassing in md and wv thanks in advance you truly are the only smart person on this site

i actually did not have the best experience today, but some of my friends did. my friend the one from flint who went on msnbc to tell chris hayes he didn't vote for hillary because he's from flint, he had a really good day and he felt really good about everything. he gave me some good points, which i will share with you in a second. the reason you didn't feel effective in VA is because everyone in VA is a CIA asset and you shouldn't internalize that. i'm thrilled that you get to talk to people in WV and I think policy and talking points are really going to be on your side, and the people are going to be cool as hell (even if they are not-already bernard voters).

i think bernard kinda fucked over michigan in a few ways this year (no beef but it's true), but i am lucky because my city has some extremely experienced campaign people, and i have never really had to experience doing canvassing for any kind of campaign that wasn't run by them, so i was kind of confused about how little direction you were given. they keep asking me to do higher-up stuff like drawing up the voter lists and strategizing and hosting canvasses, but i keep being like, put me on the doors dude that's where i belong. (my palestinian libra dirtbag is exactly the same, he did like three turfs today lol.) i can probably ask my campaign people for tips if you feel like you don't have any guidance.

since we're so close to election day, we'd normally be only targeting likely/confirmed voters to get out the vote, but because things are so crazy, we're also hitting up voters identified as undecided or previously soft-opponent or i think even independent and we're actually still trying to change minds. this is not super usual but it's crisis time! so, to answer your question, i would say i think you should widen the net, especially in WV. the dem voter problem isn't a huge issue where i am because people in lansing flint and detroit are literally just always democrats no matter what, but in other states i think it's more nuanced.

most of the following advice pertains to actually talking to people, but it should cover the range of voters you may encounter. i think i feel the least effective when i "fail" to engage people in a conversation, so i recommend talking to them in more open-ended ways. i share some of our script down below, but in general i like to ask people questions to draw them in, rather than telling people what we're about. get them to talk about themselves, and they will remember bernie sanders as the candidate that listened. i swear to god that works.

today they gave me a sheet (i gave it to a new girl so i can't remember exactly, but) that focused on swinging those voters. it's still "don't shittalk opponent" territory but it's a list of ways to explicitly contrast sanders and biden on the policies, and it made me realize that we're extremely lucky to be put in this position because those contrasts are stark, and they are convincing to poor people in particular.

what's interesting is that i'm no longer leaning into medicare for all to do my arguing, and i think that's gonna make me more effective. obviously bernie is stronger (literally: strongest) on this issue, but the messaging around biden's work on the ACA and his recent dodging about the issue doesn't help us convince anybody. healthcare is the most important thing on the table but it remains inscrutable: i would say dig into it with voters only if they bring it up as an issue that matters to them, or if they're healthcare workers (non-doctor probably), or if you are going to talk about an experience of your own. when you do talk about healthcare, especially in WV, remember bernie's position on medical debt. this is one of his clearest contrasts with biden. make sure you're familiar with biden's history with bankruptcy and debt, because i'd be willing to bet that that's something that's gonna resonate with WV and MD voters.

the trade deals and NAFTA are, simply, the most important thing to talk about at this point, and imo (based on the critical states, michigan most of all) that's what's going to win us this election, if we talk to people about it. hillary clinton lost the election because she did NAFTA--simple as that. biden, too, did NAFTA, but the thing about him--as i'm sure you're noticing--is that people seem to forget absolutely everything about him, and no one knows that he did NAFTA. joe biden is behind loads of policy that was outright bad for industrial workers and ruined lives. it is simply enough to argue "bernie sanders did not do NAFTA" but you'll want to look into his trade deal positions and history, contrast these with both biden and trump. if you're worried about the xenophobic underbelly of this problem, frame it as exactly what it is: a position that resists giving corporations free reign to do whatever they want, to abandon communities, and stomp all over workers.

look over some of bernie's positions on unions and labor in general. neither of the states you are going to are strongly right-to-work states right now, but where i live that's a really important thing. both biden and bernie, interestingly, have proposed a ban on right-to-work laws (it rules that we are in a place where this was mainstream for candidates, but it remains to be seen who will actually pursue this! the literal birthplace of the UAW went right-to-work while biden was VP soooo.) bernie also wants to end at-will employment and has a slate of proposal to strengthen unions. you should tell this to almost everyone. biden claims to support many similar plans, but he has not historically been especially strong in these areas, and his plans are generally less encompassing.

you should be prepared to confront concerns that bernie's strong environmental positions will hurt workers in WV. talk to people about a "just transition" and really emphasize the point that industry, and coal companies in particular, have been empowered to come and go as they please without any consequences. bernard's plans in general are job creators, and the idea is to bring sustainable--as in, sticking--jobs to appalachia and the rust belt, as well as universal healthcare for people made sick by their jobs. universal healthcare is an engine for jobs.

the war in iraq, support for veterans, and social security are extremely huge issues for poor people, probably specifically in WV.

you will also talk to another major electorate: people who just want to beat trump. this is advice from the msnbc friend, who knows: give them all the bernie beats trump lines. only bernie beats trump. convince them that biden will have all the same problems hillary clinton had against trump. if they bring up the alleged low youth turnout on super tuesday, remind them that the south has particular voter suppression issues that impact young and college voters, and that thus far young people actually have been turning out in the north and west. and the youth turnout on super tuesday was still higher than average! remind them that a democrat without the so-called youth vote has never beat a republican in the general in this century. most importantly, remind them that because of our flawed electoral system, you could win every single person on the west coast, but you're essentially never going to win the election if you can't win macomb county, michigan. and macomb county, michigan is full of working class voters who were really hurt by the policies of joe biden and hillary clinton and, increasingly, donald trump, and they are interested in bernie sanders, and it's life or death for them. tell them you have a friend in michigan who has seen this first hand :). (hoping march tenth bears this out for us lol.)

gonna round out the hard issues section here by suggesting you read this, which i think is pretty convincing: https://newrepublic.com/article/156819/rebooting-bernie-sanders

today i talked to a guy who said, "bernie sanders, i think i heard obama likes him." and i said, yep, bernie worked really hard to pass some of obama's best policies. and that's true :)

in general, the sanders campaign relies really heavily on the "bernie story," the personal narrative. i think it probably works. it really works for me, because i can talk to people about the stuff that isn't just the green new deal and loan forgiveness--although you will definitely also end up talking to educated people who will need to be reminded that bernie sanders wants to forgive their loans and joe biden wants them to be saddled with them until the end of time. remember to talk to people about where you work and where you live. work and homes is the most important thing to absolutely everyone. tell them you have a teacher friend lol. talk to people about other people you've met. tell other people's stories.

in case you need guidance in this area, try a script that looks something like this (sorry if this is condescending and you already have seen the scripts, but i kind of modify them based on my strengths as a canvasser):

i'm so and so and i'm with the bernard sanders campaign and we're out reminding people to vote on [date].

do you plan on voting? do you know who you're voting for? can we count on you to vote for bernie? [remind people of the stakes of the election, it's gonna be a close one, talk to your friends and family.] [then get them to think about their election day plan: do you know where your polling location is? what time are you going? do you have transportation?] [try to have support info available for them if they do not have these things. if they're worrying about not being able to get off work, commiserate/be empathetic and don't blame.] [let them know how they can get involved in the campaign.]

if they say they are not voting, sometimes you can respect that (shoutout to jehovah's witness), but if they're on your list, they're probably registered, so you can ask them what kind of issues prevent them from voting. a lot of people will tell you that voting is stupid. you should agree with them (they are right). remind them that you would not normally be canvassing for a democratic candidate or any presidential candidate. you're working with tons of people who never canvassed, or maybe never even voted before. this is the first time in my entire life that i had the opportunity to vote for a candidate that addressed the issues that weigh on me on a day to day basis. a major candidate that hates the two party system and refuses to submit to democratic party nonsense. who has a plan that might actually work. a candidate that has a plan to make everybody's life better, even people who aren't out here canvassing for him. poor people. remind them that bernie sanders is the strongest candidate among non- and first-time voters! this area is a strength of mine because all of this is 100% true for me. i hate electoral politics and i hate the democratic party! if they have other reasons for not voting, see if you have any info that can help them. also remind them that this is a close race, an uphill battle, a difficult fight, and their vote is going to REALLY make a difference. but if we try, we will win.

if they say they "think" they know who they're voting for, they're probably thinking about someone else. you'd be surprised--i am so surprised--how many people have no idea, even up til they get to the polls, or they change their mind last minute. try to prepare a few sentences that are really personal but probably relatable that they can chew on. mine looks something like this: i'm from flint michigan and i've seen the way the government has started to let companies get away with absolutely anything, abandon families that have worked for them for generations, and weaken unions. i want fair wages, fair taxes and for companies to be accountable to their workers and the communities that make them run & make them rich, and that's the bernie sanders platform, and i fear joe biden's ideas are moving us in the same direction that we're already moving. my husband's family worked for GM for four generations but we can't get jobs in flint much less find a place to live. being from flint, and in my own working life, i've watched the power of unions just totally erode. i myself am in a teacher's union and just recently, for the first time in my life,i feel like we can move in a direction where workers have real power in their workplace. especially watching teachers and support staff rally behind sanders, or these huge strikes. sometimes here i also say something about schools! etc.! ! sometimes that's all you get, but sometimes people want to hear more! in either case, this will stick with them.

if they say they are undecided, ask them what kind of issues motivate them to vote, or ask them what they think about sanders. refer to all of the above, but don't argue, use bernie's positions to add to what they are saying, be a good empathetic active listener etc. but also make sure they know that you have shared experiences, agree with them. 99% of the time their issues will be better addressed by bernie, if they are working class people. sometimes they will reveal that they are nervous to vote for sanders. remind them of the size and energy of the base, and the electability arguments listed above. one of the reasons we want to canvass is to remind people--especially in conservative communities, where their neighbors may not even be voting in this primary--that it's okay and in fact very popular to vote for bernie, and we're competitive, and if we make it to the general we're gonna win. but it's not going to be easy [talk to your friends and family get involved go online etc.]

if they are leaning biden but undecided, sometimes it's fine to ask them why, ask them for a pitch. you can tell them that you agree, and that we have had a really strong contest this year, and maybe in another year biden would have been the strongest choice, but bernie's just better in all these areas, etc.

please lmk if you want more ideas! i'll try to take a picture of some of our documents tomorrow when i'm out.

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kaibacxrps · 4 years

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@iixiplaytimeisoverixii has sent: 🐶 ☠️ 📝 💘 😊

munday no-no and yes-yes list [Accepting]

Send 🐶 for a role play related pet peeve.

// This has happened to me a few times now for a few days now, and I’ve already had to block people because of it.

But here is a reminder to reblog prompts from the source or a meme archive blog, and not straight out of me (unless you have sent something back). I have a tolerance when it comes to my mutuals, and I will message them to ask them to stop it if they have done it often. However, I have 0 tolerance from non-mutuals.

Because unlike what people may think, it’s very easy to tell when you are being used as nothing more than a memes archive blog. It’s rude and it messes up with my notifications, it just takes 3 seconds to go to the source.

Send ☠️ for something that will result in a instant unfollow from you

// I know that the elections for you Americans is approaching, and this subject is likely going to find it’s way onto my dash. I won’t tell anyone how they should run their blogs, and I have already blacklisted a ton of terms to clean my dash across all my blogs.

But uh yeah, posting untagged posts about politics and that sort of stuff will drive me away. Regardless of your position and takes on it, I want to remind you guys I’m not really from USA so don’t even bother try to start shit up. I just really have NO interest in seeing it, I’ll check on the news elsewhere, TYVM.

Send 📝 for a rule you think is important when it comes to role playing

// I feel like it is nice to specify your writing preference, as in: if you tend to only write short stuff, or paragraphs, novella, etc.

This might not be that obvious at first, but if you follow/stick to people who more or less falls in line with what/the way you are used to writing then the chances of you and the other person not meshing well together become increasingly lower!

I’m speaking from experience! I have been doing this, and it has improved my overall experience a whole lot!

Send 💘 for your policy on shipping with your muse(s)

//I feel like I’ve made myself pretty clear in the rules page? But it never hurts to remind it!

The ships I straight up refuse to write: Noah/Seto, Mokuba/Seto, Jou/Seto and TK Bakura/Set

In regards to the Atem/Set ship (bc it is a big one), I’m not opposed to shipping/plotting them (ppl are welcomed to come plot this with me, no problem at all)! But everything will be written over on discord due to it’s taboo (incestuous) nature.

Both Kaiba and Set are multishipping, everything takes place in their own separate universe;

Important info that ppl should be aware of about them:

Kaiba is unable to bond/connect and fall in love with anyone, this will not change. No matter the plot/story/development our muses take, it’s 100% fine and welcoming if your muse ends up developing feelings for him. But be aware, I will not change this very important detail about him;

Unless your muse is from Set’s time period (AE) and is in the afterlife, shipping with him is quite difficult. His stay in the modern world is a brief one, and once he is gone there is nothing that can bring him back from it.

Send 😊 for likable quality for a role play mun to have

// Be patient - I’m thankful for everyone who have stuck around, despite me not getting back to messages/etc. I just completely forget about them, even though the notification is right there and I just hhhhhhhhh.

This isn’t me excusing myself, this is 100% my own dumbass and it is extremely disrespectful to you guys. All I can ask for is for patience, and know that you haven’t done anything to me- it’s just that there are times where I only feel like I’m capable of handling a select few interactions/messages. And I completely forget to check on the messages--

#ooc /#thank you for the ask!#iixiplaytimeisoverixii #long post

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derrickdent · 5 years

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BBHMM, OR HOW TO DEAL WITH THE DEADBEAT CLIENT

You’re a fucking freelancin’ badass, with a semi-steady flow of work, and you’re living the dream of doing **insert best/fave thing here** , and getting the money from your biggest fans. Can’t be better, right? Well, one of things you were probably not informed about is what happens when the dream sometimes becomes a financial nightmare. 30 day waits for payment. Invoices and reminders. Anxiety waiting for that check. Clients that don’t seem to care that you’re eating peanut butter for breakfast, lunch, and dinner while your payday is delayed in a death spiral of perpetuity. Getting stiffed sucks, and you gotta keep the lights on. How can you keep this bullshit at a minimum? I’m not a financial expert, but I’ve eaten a fair amount of shit trying to get money from clients that have a sense of urgency about everything except paying me. There’s a ton of info about this online, but hopefully my lewd voice in the choir is helpful. (Samuel L. Jackson voice) LET’S GET YOU YOUR MONEY, MUTHAFUCKA. FROM THE BEGINNING

Make sure that you get everything down in writing. Have a statement of work or a contract that states your scope of work, your fee, deadlines, usage restrictions, deliverables, and any notes about late fees, payment timetables, and billable expenses. (Example of a statement of work).

Make sure that a client knows that you can’t begin work without acknowledging these terms. They should return a signed copy of this document, or acknowledge its terms via email. Sometimes there’s a rush situation and you may be pressured to dive in. It’s still a clients responsibility to make sure everything is taken care of on paper, to protect you and to ensure that they are also in the best position to get the best from you.

If they “politely” ignore the contract, then reiterate the terms in a follow up email, with a polite call to action (ex: “Hi! I’m just making sure that we’re on the same page about what the scope of this project is all about. I going to be [**rates, usage, time, deliverables, expected expenses, payment expectations here**]. Is that correct?). It’s important to get this down on the front end. Depending on your state, this counts as a legally binding statement.

NOTE: Try to get an upfront deposit if you can. 30-50% is normal, and this is also a test of whether the client will be good for it after all is said and done. This is also an incentive to put your best foot forward. Some clients will balk at this, but if the early “what is your rate?” convo suggests this is a possibility, go for it. This also depends on the industry. This is almost impossible with editorial, and though I’ve heard mixed stories in publishing, it’s hard to get an advance or deposit unless you’re doing a full book. Large corporations often have a convoluted accounts payable system that pretty much guarantees money will be slower than human evolution. The best results I’ve had are with small, dynamic businesses and individual clients. Once they confirm the terms, then you can begin scheduling and first steps in a project. FAST FORWARD TO PROJECT COMPLETION

INVOICE IMMEDIATELY. Seriously. Do NOT delay this. Most clients are not going to remind you to send one after you’ve finished a project, and you are ultimately responsible for this. (example invoice). Include the basics: your business name your contact info and address the client’s info and address an invoice number total due

Don’t forget an invoice number- accounts payable folks have a hard time placing your invoice in their system without one, and you don’t want to delay things because of a technicality. You can use a simple numbering convention: I use my initials and a double digit combo (ex: DD01). Also, if you haven’t gotten an EIN, get one from the IRS. WHEN YOU APPLY, ONLY GO TO THE .GOV IRS LINK. SCAMS ARE A-PLENTY AND I WANT YOU TO AVOID TEARS THO. An EIN is great, because it can be very compromising to keep putting your SSN out there, and in some cases an EIN can get you paid faster. You should itemize your work in the invoice, similarly to how you would find items on a receipt (ex: 1- Illustration for “client and application”, **brief description** = $THIS AMOUNT.00) Write amounts in dollars and cents. Instead of “$3000”, write “$3000.00”. Again, this helps your client or client’s accountants process your payment a touch faster, and saved time counts. Include a line with a total of your billable expenses. These are items that you HAD TO purchase to finish your work. Make sure you keep your receipts, and make a PDF slideshow with scans of those items for transparency’s sake. Send that PDF with your invoice. Finally, include a line that is the grand total of EVERYTHING. Put that total in BOLD PRINT just to make sure that it’s clear what the client owes. If necessary, you can include direct deposit info. This includes your routing and account number. This way, you give the client another way to pay you, and you can fight off the delay of waiting for a paper check. Even though it’s assumed in many places, make it clear that payment is due NOW. From the moment you send the final invoice out, the onus is on the client to pay up. They should confirm receipt of this, but if they’re slow after a day or two, give them a quick email reminder. NOTE: If you have a client’s phone number, keep it handy. This will come in handy later. FAST FORWARD TO A FEW WEEKS LATER AND YOU HAVEN’T BEEN PAID YET

Either way, you’re waiting (and hopefully pursuing other work!) for money that you need. The timeframe for a reminder varies. Some people will drop a friendly note after 15 days. I tend to be a bit generous, and will wait until 10 days before the invoice is late. The email is friendly, and assumes good faith. Something like: “Hi! I just wanted to touch base about the payment for this invoice. Is there any progress on this? Is there anything I can do to assist with this? Please note that you will be 30 days late on (date here). If so, then a (late fee percentage) will be added to the final amount due.” The key is to emphasize some kind of fiscal penalty. People don’t like to spend more money, so you’ll, at the very least, get a response to let you know that things are being processed. You may also get redirected to an accounting department. If you get a number or an email to them, HOLD ON TO THIS INFO. Hopefully, at this point, the client gets the push to make good on payment. FAST FORWARD TO 30 DAYS AND NO PAYMENT

At this point, you are apprehensive because no one wants to wait to be able to pay bills, eat pizza, and enjoy their own Netflix account. The dynamic changes now, because this is the day that the client has to pay you before it’s late. Tomorrow is late. In some states, you have legal recourse to pursue payment (In NYC, the default timetable for freelance payment is 30 days). You should email your client reminding them that payment is due today. If you have their number, call them as well to reinforce this message, but emails are important now. Each email you send is a recorded effort to receive payment, and they are timestamped for posterity. Note that a client may have already sent a payment out, but the check is transit. Also, calling/emailing an accounts payable department will reveal that a payment has been made and it will be in your bank account in a few business days. Get confirmation of this before you continue. AFTER THE INVOICE IS 30 DAYS LATE

Clients need the benefit of the doubt, but it’s their responsibility to pay you now. After 30 days, you have “permission” to increase the frequency of your correspondence. During the first 10 days of being late, I will email and call every other business day (Monday, Wednesday, Friday was my model, but it may differ for you). Afterwards, I will check in once a day. This may seem excessive, but persistence goes a long way. You may get an exasperated response, but don’t stop until you get a confirmation of payment or a layout and timeline of the payment. If you have a contact within a company, use them as your ally within an organization. It’s easier to get things moving with someone on the inside, and pressure on them will translate to pressure elsewhere to get you to stop asking for your money. Be professional, but direct. They owe you, and any further delay will result in additional fees, and possible collection action (including legal action to collect). If you have a number for accounts payable, hammer them hard. They will be probably be your last line of communication, and you’ll need to get an email to reach them again, an employee name to refer to, and a timeline for payment.

SIDEBAR>>> NYC CREATIVE PROS AND THE FIFA ACT

If you live in NYC, you have an additional resource: the city government. The NYC Department of Consumer Affairs (DCA), and The Office of Labor Policy and Standards (OLPS) have a complaint form that you should fill out as soon as the client is over 30 days late. The Freelance Isn’t Free Act (FIFA, passed in 2017) is very clear that what your client is doing is ILLEGAL, and the city will assist you in gathering materials to make a case for nonpayment. Fill the complaint form out, be very specific about your client and any related contacts. Note, they are not legal representation as much as they’re navigators who will help you find legal counsel and resources needed to file a claim in court. Remember when I said to get everything in writing? That’s important. It may be a bit of work, but find every email thread related to your freelance gig. If you’re doing this on your mobile, open the thread. Go to the first message. Find where the “print” option is. You’ll be taken to a preview window. Look for the “download” button. This is really easy with Gmail. You can basically save the entire thread as an organized PDF, with messages in chronological order

Do this with every gig-related email attached to the overdue payment. Save these PDFs to a folder. Create sub folders that can put this correspondence in context, like chapters (ex: one folder is “Beginning of Job”, another “Job in Progress”, another “Invoice/Payment Requests”). This will make it easier to navigate everything. Include the PDF folder (zipped) with your complaint folder. OLPS will take a sec to get back to you, since you’re not the only person in NYC that gets stiffed. After about 5 biz days, give them a call. This can help you get ahead of the pack. You will receive a call from an OLPS office case manager who will confirm your info. They will ask if you’ve been paid. If yes, then you can thank them and call everything off. If not, they will send a certified letter (WITH AN OFFICIAL ASS LETTERHEAD) to your client, reminding them that they’re late. They have 20 days to respond to this- if they don’t, then they will basically be on the hook to go to court for a nonpayment case. You’ll have to either get a lawyer to rep you, or you can rep yourself, but the client is on the hook to prove they don’t owe you. Since you already have a record of your interactions, this will be very difficult for them. It should be noted that clients tend to get reallll antsy when the government says that they owe money. They’ll probably contact you directly. Keep up with these responses. Each email builds out the timeline of your case, and is fodder for the cannon. At this point, they usually pay up. DISCLOSURE: I’ve never had to go to court, so you may need to look elsewhere for advice. This may be a good place to start. SPEAKING OF DOCUMENTATION- I forgot to add that you should record your calls when speaking to clients that are late. ACR is a free app that allows you to record your calls. Make sure recording is legal in your state, and always let clients know that the call is being recorded. You can borrow the “for quality control purposes” line if you’d like. Sometimes people will try to circumvent documentation by using the phone. Don’t let them weasel out of that. LASTLY, this is specifically related to NY. The parts about documenting your correspondence are universal, though. Wherever you are, a vital part of making a civil case is piling on the material against a deadbeat. Be vigilant and persistent. I would suggest looking into whether there is a state govt. entity that you can go to about civil cases, and also look up if there are any local volunteer/low cost lawyers in your area.

The FIFA Act has been a gamechanger in giving freelancers more power to get what is owed to them, and my hope is that other cities follow suit, or organize to get similar legislation for this purpose. SIDEBAR AGAIN>>> LAWYERS

Another way to get a client to pay up faster is to lawyer up earlier. After 30 days, you should see what your options are. If you can afford it, you can consult with a lawyer and get a pro opinion about your case. They may be able to send a stern letter to your deadbeat client (WITH AN OFFICIAL ASS LETTERHEAD) prompting them to pay or else. Like with a government agency, people don’t like surprises from legal. They will probably pay up quick, but if they stick it out, then you can file a claim and take them to civil court. This will be costly for you and your client, so nonpayment usually gets resolved before this happens. If not, know that if a court rules in your favor, the client will have to pay you and cover your legal fees. My experience with lawyers is limited, and I would suggest looking elsewhere for particulars. Also, keep in mind how much you’re owed. A $300 case may not be worth as much squeeze as a $3000 or $30000 one. If it’s a low ball sum you’re owed. You may have an easier time calling it a loss and moving on.

EDIT: I’ve been told that contingency fee lawyers are out there that don’t collect fees until after an event (like you winning or losing a judgment for example), but they’re kinda like unicorns for freelancers and tend to take on bigger cases. It doesn’t hurt to see if any are out there anyway!

NEW!>>> COLLECTION AGENCIES

So, you may want to seek help through a collection agency. They have the time and resources to call, mail, and chase money when you’re trying to focus on good clients that pay on time and are depending on your A game.

The good news is that most are contingency fee based. That is, they won’t collect anything from you until they get the money from your client.

The down side? They can take anywhere between 18-40% of what your client’s debt is. Note that I didn’t say WHAT THEY COLLECT. If your client owes $100, and the contingency based fee is $30, an agency will take $30 even if they only get $60.

Also, based on a lawyer friend’s input, if your collection agency is legally shady, you may be indirectly on the line if your deadbeat client decides to sue said agency. Also your payment, connected to the collection agency and your client’s legal battle, will be held in indefinite limbo.

So do your homework and weigh your options before taking this route.

FAST FORWARD TO 60 DAYS Fortunately, I haven’t had to do this, but you can start pursuing legal action to get your money. Check on state laws to make sure this is the case, as well as the particulars about filing a claim. By this time, you should hopefully have a lawyer or some legal counsel at your disposal. If you don’t, then look up the laws of your state and local area to see where you stand if you have to rep yourself. Remember that as long as you have written acknowledgment of your terms of work and written acknowledgment of your invoice, things should lean in your favor. THE END

HOPEFULLY this has been helpful. The best parts of freelance (independence, flexibility, control, and self-prescribed wages) are often at odds with the pitfalls (feast-or-famine dynamics, wearing of all of the hats, taking all of the risks). It can feel like robbery when you put your blood, sweat, and tears into a project only to have an empty bank account as thanks. Some of this info is boilerplate, and some is from direct experience. If any of this relates to you, and you were able to get closer to your hard earned scrill because of this, I can die happy(er).

GOD SPEED AND GET PAID, GODDAMMIT!

ADDENDUM: One of the things that I didn’t emphasize enough is that doing this will be emotionally draining. Unless you are a robot or a stone cold Type A business beast, it will strain you. Make sure that you’re taking care of yourself mentally.

If you have a partner or family, make sure to take the help and support they provide and don’t turn your money issues into a personal issue with them.

Also, doing this requires energy. It will feel like a part time job, and even if there are late fees that factor into what you get paid, this will largely be unpaid labor.

Persistence is key, but I’m not going to pretend that it’s not hard or that you won’t have other obligations that make keeping up the effort difficult. I’m lucky in that my girlfriend and I have a relatively low-expense lifestyle, and no dependents, and we’re both fairly flexible because we both freelance full time, and that we had a bit of financial padding saved to weather the storm. Mileage will certainly vary.

Edit: Tumblr is weird about making links visible, so I put them in bold body font for you to find them easier.

#Illustration #invoices #payment #business #deadbeats

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travllingbunny · 5 years

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The 100 rewatch: 1x01 Pilot

I’m a new fan of The 100, who first binged it last year, August to November. This is my first full rewatch of the show. I was planning to start it anyway and finish it before the season 6 premiere on April 30, and when I saw that Fox Serbia was airing a rerun (Monday to Friday, 40 min. after midnight, with repeats the next day), starting on 1st February, it was a great opportunity to start my rewatch in HDTV on my beautiful new TV. I decided to do write-ups and tag other fans on SpoilerTV website, as I did when I was first watching the show. But my posts turned into full blown essays. So, finally, after over a week, I’ve realized: Why don’t I post them on my Tumblr blog, too? I’ll copy my write-ups of the first 7 episodes, and then I’ll post my rewatch posts after I watch each episode. (The next one, 1x08, is on Monday’Tuesday.)

Spoilers below for all 5 seasons of the show. I go of on a tangents and make a lot of references to future events.

Rating: I'd give the Pilot 4/10, maybe 4.5/10 if I'm generous.

Episode opens on Clarke's voiceover. The first mention of how Ark came to be. There were "12 nations" with stations in the beginning, 97 years earlier, and the current Ark is "one station forged from the many". Which begs some questions: how did they manage to make everyone on the Ark speak English (and in American accents), why are they so culturally uniform? Did they try to do it by force? And why did big powers like China and Russia go along with it? But world-building has never been this show's strength. The opening scene shows Clarke drawing, and focuses on her father's watch. Some facts I had forgotten - the cells on the Ark were called "Skybox". Clarke says she is turning 18 in a month. This means she turned 18 sometime in late season 1 and was about 18 and a half year old in season 4. In season 5, she should be about 24 and a half year old. Abby is the first other major character to appear. Abby to Clarke "Your instincts will tell you to take care of everyone else first, like your father", stressing that this is the similarity between Clarke and Jake. "I can't lose you, too, I love you so much" First appearance of Jaha - on the video played to the Delinquents on the dropship. The kids comment: "your dad's a dick, Wells". Yes, he is. "If we knew for sure the Earth was survivable, we would send others. You are being sent down because your crimes have made you expendable". Oh god, he's awful. He became a more enjoyable character in season 4, just because of his interactions with other characters, but he's always been an a-hole. Jaha tells the kids to go to Mount Weather, explains what it is and that it has supplies for about 300 people to survive for 2 years. I had completely forgotten that there were so many Mount Weather references. This was clearly a storyline that was planned from the beginning. The first casualties on the show - 2 Delinquents who imitated Finn's stupid behavior on the dropship, but, unlike him, were killed when the ship crash-landed. When they land, it turns out they landed on a wrong mountain, instead of Mount Weather, due to a technical error. Who knew that this was the luckiest thing that ever happened to them? Clarke and Wells later insist that the kids should go to MW ASAP and find supplies. Every time someone in the episode talks about Mount Weather and says things like "We have to find Mount Weather to survive", it's so ironic now. No, you need to run as far from Mount Weather as possible. Run, run, fast, and don't turn back. At the end of the episode, they try to cross the river, and Jasper even finds a Mount Weather sign. In retrospect, they are so lucky they did not go through with it, after Jasper got speared, but who was to know? Kane looks so young compared to his season 5 self. And it's funny to see early Kane, who was kind of a bad guy. He's so pessimistic and insisting on ruthless solutions as necessary, a total opposite of where his views end up later. But the one consistent trait is that he's always been so stubborn about sticking to whatever course of action he thinks is best, and even naive about it. At this point, he's all about sticking to the rules. And here's Shumway, who seems to want the culling to happen even more than Kane does. I never understood what the supposed difference in policy was between Diana and Jaha. Diana was claiming to be fighting for the rights of the underprivileged? But Shumway is working for her, and wants the culling to happen, Jaha and Kane are intending for the culling to happen... What's the difference? They're all the same. Shumway is also the one to tell Kane about Bellamy's shooting of Jaha - and Kane says they have a traitor. Shumway close-up, he says nothing. Foreshadowing. Scene between Kane and Abby near the end of the episode. Kane says he's the only one willing to do what needs to be done so they survive. Abby: "That's the difference between us, Kane. I choose to make sure we deserve to stay alive." Ironic how they'll end up switching positions during the Dark Year. But then Abby starts hating herself over what she has become. The thing I liked best about the Pilot the first time was that it was really good at explaining the premise and getting a lot of info across, without clunky exposition. Oh god, about half of the Pilot was sooo cheesy. Most of the scenes with kids on Earth are so teen-soapy. That's why I initially preferred the stuff on the Ark (but then a few episodes later, I felt the exact opposite). Especially 90% of Octavia's lines in the Pilot are so cringey,I remember I only found it to be 'just OK' at the time I first watched it, good enough to keep watching, but I only got hooked around 1x05 when it started losing most of its CWness. But now, after having seen the rest of the show, the tone is so weird - so teen-soapy. I guess the first time, I expected the show to be like that, because of the channel it's on - a teen-soap take on post-apocalyptic SciFi. The pop songs and the scenes with kids enjoying the Earth were so corny but I guess they were meant to be, to make the contrast bigger when something bad suddenly happens, like Jasper getting speared at the end of the episode. Or that mutant deer, that was a good scene. Funny that we never get to see any of the scary nature stuff again. What happened to the man-eating water snake? The show pretty much forgets all of that later, because we get human antagonists on Earth. I also probably blanked out a lot of the cheesy teen-soapy stuff the first time, because I wasn't interested, since I didn't even remember some of it. All the potential pairings and flirtations that went nowhere now seem so random and funny. They were clearly just throwing anything to the wall to see what sticks. Who remembers that Octavia used to have a thing for Finn in the Pilot and said "Finn is mine" to Clarke, and he briefly flirted with her? Then there was Jasper's crush on Octavia, but that one actually did last a bit longer in season 1. The show really seemed to be trying to make Finn the main heartthrob. Of course, Finn's main interest was flirting with Clarke non-stop and following her around all the time. The fact he started hitting on her immediately in the dropship really makes him look bad now (whether or not that was initially intended - since they probably still hadn't planned for Raven's character to exist.)

And look, here's Kelly Hu as Kane's girlfriend/Abby's best friend, who was clearly supposed to be one of the mains, and then completely disappeared without explanation after the Pilot. Kelly Hu was even in the main credits for the Pilot, right after Bob Morley, who was credited 6th - after Eliza and Paige and Thomas McDonnel and Eli Goree and after Marie. Which pretty much fits their screentime in the Plot. I doubt they were expecting Bellamy to become the male lead, Finn and Wells were clearly treated as the male leads. Speaking of Bellamy - AARGH, that terrible slicked-back hair! My eyes, my eyes!!! I remember now why I had such mixed feelings about him in the Pilot, unlike others who said they hated him. I mean, he was clearly meant to be seen as an antagonist at this point, but most of the things he says about the privileged and the elite on the Ark is true. I still think that the Ark leaders were the first villains introduced on the show. They sucked. Even if we weren't supposed to see them as villains, and even if some of them later changed and developed (Kane). I wasn't sure how much of what Bellamy said was just him using that rhetoric to manipulate the kids. but the first time he says "let the privileged do something for a change", he said it before he learned about the wristbands. So, some of that anger was sincere. (And it was certainly justified.) A bit later we see Bellamy listening carefully and formulating a plan as Clarke is explaining to the kids that the wristbands are transmitting their life signs to the Ark.

I don't know where the later idea of Bellamy as a completely hotheaded guy who can't act in a strategic or manipulative comes from. One of the first things we saw him do in the show was manipulate a bunch of younger people into something that would help him not get caught and executed by the Ark leaders, so he could stay and protect his sister. That's what he's doing for the fist few episodes. The first kids he convinces to take the wristbands off and make others do the same are Murphy and John Mbege. It's funny that Mbege's role was at this point almost as big as Murphy's. We still haven't seen Harper or Miller.

So many scenes of conflict between Bellamy and Wells in this episode. It seems like they probably meant for that dynamic to be an important one going forward, with the two of them as foils. "See you on the other side". Oh, god. Those lines will never be the same. It's actually Finn who said it first when he was about to cross the river by rope, but then Jasper went first to impress Octavia, and said that line for the first time. And here comes the spear. "We are not alone". Well, duh. But Clarke had to say that line for a very Lost-like ending to the Pilot. Geez, I can see how this bunch of clueless, silly kids with no weapons, fooling around, looked like such a dangerous invading force to the Grounders who saw them. Yes, the season 5 comparison between them and the heavily armed mass murderers from Eligius who immediately tried to kill the first people they ran across, was soooo apt... *sigh*.

#the 100 #the 100 rewatch #the 100 1x01 #clarke griffin #bellamy blake #octavia blake #abby griffin #marcus kane #jasper jordan #wells jaha

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adventuresaroundasia · 5 years

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This post may contain affiliate links. Please read my disclosure for more info.

After five years of living in China, and two years of This Beijing Life, things have changed. I left my job as a college counselor in China, and now I’m living a life on my terms. I’m my own boss, I travel when I want, and live where I want. I’m FINALLY living my dream of location independence.

I hope you’ll all follow me along on my new journey: The Freedom Life.

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What I Was Up to in March

This March was a BUSY month full of USA travel. From my bachelorette party in Denver to a Southwest US road trip (including California, Vegas, and the Grand Canyon), to a few weekend trips from Palm Desert, I barely had any time to get work done! That said, this month was awesome, and I had a ton of fun moments and memories.

Where I Was This Month

Palm Desert, California

Denver, Colorado

Slab City, California

Idyllwild, California

Los Angeles, California

San Diego, California

Las Vegas, Nevada

Flagstaff, Arizona

The Grand Canyon!

Joshua Tree, California

Palm Springs, California

All the girls at brunch!

Highlights

Overall, this month was pretty awesome! Here are some of my favorite moments.

My Denver Bachelorette Party!

Right at the start of March, I headed over to Denver for my (very early) Bachelorette Party!!

While some people may think Denver is weird for a bachelorette destination, I thought it was perfect. Firstly, Denver is a really awesome and affordable city, making it a great place to have a party without breaking the bank. Secondly, my friends are ALL OVER the US, and Denver is a hub for multiple airlines, making it super easy and affordable for all my friends to meet in one place.

While I knew my bachelorette party would be fun (just based on all the awesome people attending), it ended up really exceeding my expectations. The girls, lead by my Maid of Honor Sarah, really planned such an epic weekend. They found a super cute Airbnb with room for all six of us and planned an epic day of celebrating.

First, we had brunch with unlimited mimosas and bloody mary’s (my favorite!). Next, we did a brewery tour in a tuk-tuk! (Which is awesome because I used to lead tuk tuk brewery tours in Beijing). The girls actually created a hilarious scavenger hunt, which had me getting proposed to (multiple times), rubbing the heads of bald strangers, getting carried around in a bar, and plenty more. The best part was that people in Denver are SO NICE. Seriously, everyone we met wanted to make sure I had a fantastic bachelorette, and people were so eager to check off items on my scavenger hunt.

It was honestly the perfect bachelorette and I could’ve asked for more!

Bronte, Annisa and I in San Diego!

Southwest US Road Trip

If you didn’t already know, I went on an epic 2-week Southwest road trip this March! Two of Chris’ brothers and their girlfriends flew over to the US, and the six of us rented the world’s best ultimate soccer mom mini van for our trip, which we fondly named Bessie Lou.

This van took us from LA to San Diego, Vegas, Flagstaff, the Grand Canyon, Joshua Tree, Palm Springs and back to LA! She was brand new with 45 miles on her when we left, and by the time we brought her back she had almost 2,000 miles on her…

This two-week road trip was tons of fun, especially since the two couples that joined us had never been to the US before. I was also able to go to a ton of places I’d never seen, like Joshua Tree and the Grand Canyon! None of us were ready to leave when the trip was over. We had such a great time, and I can’t wait to plan another trip with them again.

Waiting for the Thunder From Down Under

Girls Night in Vegas

While Chris had his Bachelor Party in Vegas, the girls all went out to celebrate my friend (and Chris’ brother’s girlfriend) Bronte’s birthday. Rather than sitting at home wondering what all our men were up to, we planned a day that was just as wild as theirs.

After a little discount shopping at Ross and a solid hour of getting lost trying to find a Starbucks, the girls all met up on the Strip for dinner and drinks. We all bought VIP tickets to Thunder Down Under, which was definitely a crazy show! I was even called up onstage (I almost had a heart attack), but thankfully it was just to win a free calendar. Whew!

Overall, it was a pretty fun bonding experience with all the girls, and we didn’t end up going to bed until almost 4 am. Granted, we paid for it the next day, with hangovers, blistered feet, and a 10 am checkout.

Hello Grand Canyon!

Hiking The Grand Canyon and Joshua Tree

I can finally say I’ve seen the Grand Canyon! I absolutely loved the Flagstaff and Joshua Tree portions of our trip. We got to unpack and stay at some super cute Airbnb properties where we could actually cook healthy-ish meals.

The best place we stayed was definitely a cute little forest cabin in Mountainare (near Flagstaff). In the evenings we’d cook dinner, have a few drinks, and play the world’s hardest game of charades called “God Hates Charades“. I actually had to act out Nicholas Cage taking out a life insurance policy on Wolverine.

The National Parks themselves were also amazing. The Grand Canyon is stunning, and I definitely want to go back and do some longer hikes around there another time. Joshua Tree was also beautiful, and we did the 29 Palms hike to a desert Oasis. Since California has been a bit rainy this year, the entire mountain was covered in beautiful wildflowers!

Some art from Slab City

Day Trips to Slab City and Idyllwild

This March, my parents wanted to show us some of the cute towns and interesting places around Palm Desert. Our first trip was to Salvation Mountain and Slab City, which is basically Burning Man all year long. Salvation Mountain is a giant hill in the desert that’s been painted and decorated like it’s straight out of Dr. Seuss with a ton of religious quotes. I honestly could’ve stayed here for hours taking pictures.

Meanwhile, Slab City has a ton of people living off the grid and a bunch of artists creating the coolest sculptures out of trash and recycling. We even had a super interesting conversation with a guy who had glued mutilated Barbie’s all over his car as a statement about body image. He explained that his sister was born with a physical disability, and would ask how many surgeries it would take her to look like Barbie. Since then, he’s had a major issue with Barbie and its representation of stereotypical standards of beauty.

Finally, my family, Chris and I took a day trip to Idyllwild, which is a very cute mountain town. We had great Mexican food, partook in a coffee tasting, and wandered around all the little shops. I even purchased a pair of socks that say “my cat is f-ing cool” with an old school picture of a little girl petting a cat.

This sign is much smaller than I thought it would be

Losing Inches (But Not Pounds)

As many of you know, I’ve been putting in a lot of effort to exercise, eat healthy, and get to a weight that’s appropriate for me and my body. I’ve been putting in a TON of work, but not really seeing much of a difference on the scale. I know I’m probably transitioning muscle into fat, but still… my weight is far too high for someone who’s only 5’4″.

That said, I’ve been using tape measurements weekly, and I’ve seen a huge difference there! I’ve lost an inch off my chest, another inch off each of my arms, 2 inches off each of my thighs, another two inches off my hips, and THREE inches off my waist! However, despite all of these changes, I’ve only actually lost 5 lbs. WTF?

In addition to measuring myself, I also decided to try on my wedding dress (which I bought off the rack) to see how it fit. I definitely noticed my dress was easier to zip up and fit much better, but it wasn’t until my mom took a few pictures that I realized how much my work has paid off.

It seriously looks like I’ve lost 15 pounds. I’m not joking.

Everyone: my parents, my friends, my nutritionist, all FREAKED OUT when they saw the photos. My nutritionist even showed the photos to everyone in her office. I seriously wish I could show you guys the before and after photos because they’re crazy (unfortunately it’s my wedding dress so I have to hold off for now).

If you’re trying to lose weight and you don’t see the numbers on the scale changing, try using a measuring tape and taking photos. I don’t notice a big difference in my week to week photos, but the before and after of my wedding dress is CRAZY.

While it is frustrating that I can’t seem to get the scale to move, the pictures and measuring tape speaks for itself. At least something is working.

Getting proposed to by a bartender with a lemon ring

Meeting another bachelorette!

Challenges

Not everything this month was perfect. Here were some of my rougher moments.

I Forgot My Phone in California for my Bachelorette in Denver…

After getting dropped off at the airport I realized I was forgetting something. My phone! Unfortunately, even if I was able to get in touch with anyone, there would be no time for my mom to drive all the way back home, grab my phone, and make it back to the airport in time, so I was just out of luck.

Thankfully I brought my computer so I was able to get in touch with someone to come pick me up from the train station, but not having a phone was definitely a bit stressful.

Being phoneless definitely made for a very fiance-free bachelorette weekend. I couldn’t text him even if I wanted to!

Unfortunately for me, I had to be really reliant on other people to take photos, which ended up working out in the long run. In the end, it wasn’t ideal, but if I’m going to forget a phone on a trip, at least it was a short one!

At least it looked pretty?

So Much Snow in Denver

Usually, March in Denver isn’t too cold, but this year the snow was CRAZY! The day of my bachelorette it really started coming down, and our brewery tour leader had to switch to his car to get us back home! Thankfully, no one’s flights were delayed for more than a few hours, and Denver definitely does not shut down in the snow.

If this were Seattle, all of the breweries would’ve been empty once it started snowing. But Denver is completely flat and people are used to it, so despite the multiple inches of snow on the road, people kept partying all evening!

Unfortunately, one of the girls didn’t bring boots and her ballet flats were NOT doing the job. I’m honestly surprised her feet didn’t just fall off. When I went to the airport on Sunday evening, the temperature was -1 Fahrenheit and my coat was NOT good enough for that kind of weather. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced a place that cold before!

I hate packing almost as much as this guy hates dolphins

Packing All My Stuff… AGAIN.

If there’s one thing I hate about my lifestyle, it’s packing everything up and moving every few months. Why do I have so much stuff? Where does it all come from??

Chris and I have managed to easily get our bags down to 23 kilos (50 lbs), especially if we can check two bags. However, we discovered our flight from Beijing to Vietnam at the beginning of April, only allows ONE 20 kilo bag!! We tried to add weight to our one bag, or buy a second checked bag, but neither were options for “such a short flight”. The only option was to pay $15 USD per extra kilo at the airport. WTF CHINA EASTERN??

We even spent an hour on hold with the China Eastern US office only to get a girl that literally had no idea and couldn’t help us at all. Her only advice was to call the Beijing airport and ask them. Why?? What???

Usually this wouldn’t be such a big deal, but A) I’m traveling with a wedding dress that takes up half my small carry-on suitcase so I can’t just put all my heavy stuff in there, and B) it’s really hard for me to find CGM (curly girl method) approved products in Vietnam, so I wanted to stock up and bring them over. Unfortunately for me, I had to make some tough choices…

In the end, our suitcases were both 22 kilos, but thankfully the check-in staff said NOTHING. They also didn’t mind that Chris had 2 personal items in addition to his carry on and that our carryons were all way over the weight limit. Ummm thanks, China Eastern? We totally would’ve just bought a second bag if you’d offered it for less than the price of a new organ.

California sea lion!

Getting Super Sick on the Road Trip

During the road trip, most of us got some weird variant of the flu. It honestly sounded like the plague in our minivan. After one day in Vegas trying not to die, and a full day of driving to Flagstaff, I was happy to skip out on Sonoma and spend the entire day sleeping and watching movies in our little cottage. It was definitely necessary.

So many temptations

Eating Out For Every Meal

After making tons of progress getting fit and eating healthy, it was really hard to keep the momentum going on a road trip. Why is eating out in the US so unhealthy? I tried to make good choices for every meal, but finding good healthy food while traveling is easier said than done.

You’ve got some mean drivers San Diego…

Stressful Driving in San Diego

While I’m comfortable driving, I’ve actually never driven a car as big as Bessie Lou before. This 7-seater minivan was GIANT (seriously, I don’t know how they can call it a mini van). While I eventually got used to her extreme size, navigating the highways and roads in LA, San Diego, and Vegas was a nightmare. Firstly, California drivers are MEAN. WHY ARE YOU ALL SO MEAN???

Do you want to change lanes? These people will legit speed up. People complain about LA, but driving in San Diego was worse. To get anywhere I had to get on and off multiple highways, which were all extremely confusing. Every time I needed to get into town, I had to go on a highway, immediately get off at the first exit onto another highway, change over five lanes and then immediately get off at the next exit. This meant I had approximately 2 minutes to change over five lanes on a super busy highway where no one will let you over.

No wonder everyone from Washington hates California drivers. You guys are all a-holes. Don’t even pretend like this fact surprises you.

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas… including my kindle.

Leaving my Kindle in Vegas

Guess who forgot her kindle at the pool in Vegas and didn’t notice until she was literally about to leave the US? This girl!

Thankfully the hotel had it and was happy to mail it to me for a fee. Unfortunately for me, I only had 2 days left in the US and there was no way I could get it in time, so I had to run to a Target and buy a new Kindle (I do not want to try and find a Kindle in Vietnam). Maybe I can sell my old one when I get home?

My mom looking fashionable in Idyllwild

What I Wrote in March

March was extremely busy, so I didn’t have much time to write, but I did crank out two posts!

Zhang Mama – The Best Hole in the Wall Restaurant in Beijing

The Freedom Life: February 2019

Best Instagram Shots

I’m excited to move back to Hoi An, and apparently, you’re all excited for me to move back too!

View this post on Instagram

Guess what? I’m moving back to Hoi An in April! Between now and then I’ve got a lot of adventures planned though: 2 week US road trip, a week in Beijing (!!) and then I’ll have the next 5 months in Hoi An! Which of these adventures are you most excited for? Let me know in a comment!

A post shared by Richelle (@adventuresaroundasia) on Mar 16, 2019 at 11:25am PDT

I don’t usually do selfies on Instagram, but I made an exception and apparently you all don’t mind! How can I complain about not being able to fit all my hair products without showing off my hair?

View this post on Instagram

What’s weighing down your bag when you travel or move abroad? Over the last few days, I’ve had to pack up everything I own (AGAIN). You’d think that after a year and a half of this I’d have it down, but apparently not. I just keep getting worse! Where does all this stuff come from?? 😧😧 I mean, if I was just hopping from one SE Asian country to the next, things might be easier, but with the weather differences and huge long- haul flights, I need entirely different wardrobes. Seriously, I was just in Denver where it was -1 FAHRENHEIT and soon I’ll be in Vietnam at the start of the super duper hot and humid season. But of course, since I’m a girl, I’ve got my guilty pleasures. And you’d be surprised what it is that’s weighing down my suitcase. Nope- it’s not clothes, shoes or makeup. It’s HAIR PRODUCTS. Yep, I discovered the Curly Girl Method and now I have a problem. Half the weight of my suitcase is a bunch of bottles of silicone-free conditioner and curly Girl styling products. Sue me. Oh yeah, and I’ve got a wedding dress that’s coming everywhere with me too, so that’s fun! 😂😭 what weighs down your suitcase? Let me know in a comment!

A post shared by Richelle (@adventuresaroundasia) on Mar 20, 2019 at 4:52pm PDT

Travel Product I Can’t Live Without

I learned this month that I can’t survive without a kindle! While I love a good physical book, packing tons of books while traveling just isn’t practical. Plus, it can be super hard to find good English-language books on the road. I invested in a Kindle when I first moved to China to teach English, and now I’m on Kindle #3! (I dropped the first one, and left the second one in Vegas… whoops).

Seriously, if you live abroad or travel long-term, you don’t want to be without one of these. It’s super easy to buy books on the Amazon store and download them directly to your Kindle wherever you are.

If you want some good travel book recommendations, check out Undress Me in the Temple of Heaven, Kosher Chinese, Wild, Love with a Chance of Drowning, and What I Was Doing While You Were Breeding.

Megan’s poor feet!!

Favorite Outfit of the Month

This month I rented a gorgeous long-sleeved red dress from Rent the Runway for my Bachelorette and it was perfect! Not only was this dress super flattering, but it was also extremely comfortable. I’m 100% getting a replica of this dress made when I’m in Vietnam.

What I’m Listening To

My interview on the Comes With Baggage Podcast! My fiance Chris and his friend Kaitlyn have just started an epic travel podcast, and I’m the guest for episode 2! If you’re at all interested in learning about our marriage visa problems, how I got started traveling or teaching abroad in China, you’re going to want to check out this episode!

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Best Reads of March

Here are my favorite blog posts from the month of March!

My ‘Interesting’ Experience at the Kumbh Mela Festival – Vicky Flip Flop Travels

Wow! Vicky’s description of this festival is incredible! As I’m reading it, I can imagine the full-on culture shock of attending the largest Hindu festival in the world. This post both makes me want to go… and not go.

How I Became a Successful Travel Blogger – Adventurous Kate

This post was a bit different than I thought it would be, but I actually really liked it. Rather than a post filled with advice, Kate tells the full story of how she got into travel blogging, and the business and life decisions she made that helped her career. She also talks a lot about her upbringing and how that helped push her along this path.

Top 7 Quirky Things to do in Kaohsiung Taiwan – Journalist on the Run

I was LITERALLY just talking with Chris about doing another Taiwan trip, and he mentioned Kaohsiung. When I said “What is there to do in Kaohsiung? Why don’t we just go to Kenting for the beaches?” he mentioned Kaohsiung was worth visiting. What is there to do in Kaohsiung? Well, now I know!

Shorts and snow in Idyllwild

What’s Next for April 2019?

Well… April is already half over, but I can still keep you in suspense! At the beginning of April, I’m heading to Beijing for 5 days of touristing and meeting up with old friends… oh, and eating ALL THE FOODS. Next, I’m heading to Vietnam where I’ll be staying for 5 months! I’ll be finding a good house, joining a coworking space, and enjoying the tropical weather in my hotel’s pool!

The Freedom Life: March 2019 This post may contain affiliate links. Please read my disclosure for more info. After five years of living in China, and two years of

#freedom life #monthly recap #travel #US #wedding

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halsey82lyon · 2 years

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Automobile Insurance - Basic Information Guide

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ajpinfo-blog · 6 years

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Magic Cafe and table games club

Cafe and table game club The clients of the coffee club will be able to win many prizes, enjoy of magic and event. There will be table games and sports poker events - no gambling. MY STORY I was helping other companies to organize poker tournaments for two years, now it's time to make it my own club. I was prepearing for this all year long: creating marketing strategy, looking for partners and customers. Let's make this vision come to life !!! My coffee club will be different from others coffees in. There will be a lot of magic tricks. Bartenders and baristas will show magic tricks for costumers, to make them feel like part of our coffee shop. I don't believe in success, I believe in hard work and communication. In two years I want open one magic coffee club in London and one in Edinburgh. We will wait our backers like a quest, our team will give you a cup of coffee and will do magic tricks for you. Project description In this magic place with a lot of events, sports poker tournaments will be all kinds of prizes, but number one rule is you can't win money. We will have coffee shop and bar, where all the players can enjoy drinks and snacks. At the same time we will show magic to our clients. New kind of coffee place. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8tIxqlRUhA Our main responsability is to organize events about magic, table games and sports poker. All the players pay event fee, but all the amount they can spend at the bar. There will be not only one night events, we will have series of games. For those who are planing to have birthdays, company party and wants to book private poker tournament, we will take care of that. We can bring you tables, dealers, chips and prizes to your door. Mision To become the best and most favourite magic place in the city. To help people develope: will, stability, math, logical skills It is becoming more and more popular place, that's why we want to compete not only localy but also world wide. Purpose and vision To open seven magic places and coffee shops by the end of 2023. Than every year to open one or two new coffee shops. Big investment That we would have the most succesfull magic place in Lithuania we want to backers help. Organize the tournaments To make it more interesting we will have special events: Man in black event - all the will wear black siuts. Ladies as well ! Valentine's day - hearts - It's fun - I Love Magic event! Christmas events New Year's events Season opening events Monthy top sports poker tournamanets Ladies events Events for sponsors Team and companies events Risks and challenges I have my own campsite (we rent accomodation). Every business what I do, I do it with all my heart, i don't believe in sucess, I believe in hard work.

TEAM MEMEBERS

Team Leader Jurgis Asmonas The only thing I get tired of is rest from the rest. Workaholic is not a disease, it is a way of life when you want to achieve good results. It's very unfortunate that everybody is forced to sleep for so long. I'm glad I made friends with my sleep, which is less than normal for me. Therefore, I always feel fit, full of strength. I believe that everything can be achieved by adding work, but not work at work, but work everywhere. I dare say such words only because the greatest value and joy is the family, who only encourage doing everything and moving forward. The most important thing is to match everything, weigh it, analyze what, where, when, how and many more. And if there is no answer to one question - I know where to look for that answer. Strongest in my ability is communication, quick analytical thinking, the result of which is acquired and experience gained in various spheres. EXPERIENCE 2012-2018 Poker tournament's organizator 2016-2017 Hotel and Restaurant director 2005 – 2018 Freelancer. Facebook, Google, Youtube, IT management, computer maintenance. Excellent knowledge of Microsoft Word, Excel, PowerPoint and other applications, web development, web surfing (information search, analysis), the design of the program Photoshop, and other visual materials, operating system knowledge. Web page design, CMS experience. Audio and video creating. 1997 – 2018 Asmonu resort owner and director. Summer season. Experence in working with clients, companies. Employer, events organizator. www.booking.com/hotel/lt/asmonu-poilsiaviete-kintai.en-gb.html 2009 – 2012 Klaipeda City Municipality chief. Specialist. Professional open youth worker: the greatest experience with the negative reputation of the youth, and promising youth. Passing experience through a variety of tasks, problem solving, conflict situations, marketing and business issues with Lithuanian and foreign youth workers, students, teachers, officials, organizations and others. 2003 – 2006 Silutes Junior school (economics, computer science, physics teacher, Engineer - Network Administrator, IT technical supervisor). As a teacher, I was a consultant to the document management issues at the same time responsible for the entire school computer equipment, administration and programming issues (IT engineer). IT SKILLS I have very good memorize skills, I can learn quickly any IT programm. IT management, computer maintenance. Excellent knowledge of CMS and graphics, design, music, movie, multimedia and other programms, web surfing. Webpage design. Social media marketing pro. If i don‘t know how to do, I know where to find answer to resolve a problem or learn to do good. CONFERENCES JT Foxx in Dublin 2018 Make a business 2016, 2017 (lecturer) Business secrets (lecturer) Mediator (lecturer) Commercial events (lecturer) Manipulation in business (lecturer) Inside Business 2011, 2012 (lecturer) Open youth work (lecturer) Subcultures (lecturer) Global advertising exhibition in London Fespa 2013 Klaipeda Science and Technology Park workshops Advertising Conference "Take Me 2011, 2012 “ Children's camp "Simple miracles" (lecturer) Lithuanian students' union Winter Forum Conference 2010, 2011, 2015 (lecturer) Klaipėda youth organizations community meeting 2007, 2008, 2011 Find yourself (lecturer) Conference on "Effective prevention sober and healthy condition of society" How to make a career Professional Selling The fourth generation scheduling Business Plan: Practice Baltic Music Industry Conference "Making Business" training week CREATIVE 2009 – 2018 Social media marketing projects. Business partners community 2004 - 2018 Events organizator 2009 – 2014 Projects: The partnership between the state and non-governmental sectors in the implementation of an integrated youth policy 2008 – 2016 AJP-Studio owner (dance studio) 2006 – 2007 Kamy vocalist sponsor, manager, coacher 2004 – 2013 Participation in various projects, events, championships, various youth projects 2011 Photomodel on ads of Maxima brands products (one of the biggest company in Lithuania) 2005, 2008 LNK TV show quest 2005 Model on video ads clip track "Just Cola" SOCIAL ACTIVITIES 2016 – 2017 I received the Mayor's Award in Klaipėda, for the helping police. I was honored to raise the Lithuanian flag on Independence Day. 2006 – 2017 Annually organizator: "Summer is coming" 2010 – 2013 Volunteer: - Starting an active discusion for youth center in Palanga. - Before you: two ways - Cooperation with the day care centers DayFace - Activities in community organizations 2005 – 2007 Youth Council member Silute municipality 2003 – 2006 Silute youth organizations association "Round Table" member LANGUAGES Lithuanian (native), lithuanian sign (deaf) language (basic) English Russian INTERESTS Enjoy a way of life: listen to music, working with creative programms, watching movies, teaching, coaching, make ideas come true. The hardest thing to do is to do nothing. PERSONAL QUALITIES Workaholic (I have to work, create, organize, monitor, otherwise tiring from doing nothing). Sociability, honesty, the ability to quickly assimilate knowledge, very good memory, continuous improvement. ''Anyone can change the world.'' Team member, personal asisstant Gintare Dubinskaite Sandra Cernauskiene Life coacher Tomas Eitavicius Marketing volunteers Mindaugas Macaitis Lina Mikalauskaite Landing pages for Magic coffee club is under construction: www.blacksky.lt and poker.blacksky.lt

Rewards

If you pledge without reward, we have a lot of VIP offers.

Just write us [email protected] .

Pledge €1 or more

High five Our most sincere thanks and gratitude! Also a high five redeemable if ever our paths cross.

Pledge €5 or more

Your name and photo in our album Thank you on social media After one year we will design our club album photo book about all year what we have done, and there will be your name and photo and friendship description.

Pledge €10 or more

Youtube Live thanks We will live stream our tournaments or podcast on youtube and we will thank you. We will write your name in our event trailers!

Pledge €20 or more

Limited edition wallpicture We will create limited edition our club theme wallpicture for our backers. INCLUDES: Your name and photo in our club album Youtube Live thanks Limited edition wallpicture with poker theme

Pledge €25 or more

Guest in our magic coffee club We will be happy if you will be a guest in our magic coffee club. You will get cup of coffee and magic trick. INCLUDES: Your name and photo in our club album Youtube Live thanks Guest in our magic coffee club

Pledge €50 or more

Facebook cover video We create facebook cover video (photo and video) with poker theme to thank you for help. INCLUDES: Your name and photo in our club album Youtube Live thanks Limited edition wallpicture with poker theme Facebook cover video Guest in our magic coffee club

Pledge €75 or more

Magic for you - Surprise You will never forget this magic. It's a surprise. Secret, you will know when you will get it. Awesome feeling. INCLUDES: Your name and photo in our club album Youtube Live thanks Facebook cover video Magic for you - Surprise

Pledge €90 or more

Limited Edition T-shirts Limited edition wallpiscture with poker theme, and thank you note on wallpicture INCLUDES: Your name and photo in our club album Youtube Live thanks Limited edition wallpicture with poker theme Facebook cover video Limited Edition T-shirts Guest in our magic coffee club

Pledge €100 or more

Name, photo or brand on card Each backer will get a card with their name or photo. We will be playing with these cards 40 sports poker tournaments and we will create video showing that on youtube channel. We will send your framed card to you with greetings and you can put on the wall like memorie for being so good. INCLUDES: Your name and photo in our club album Youtube Live thanks Limited edition wallpicture with poker theme Facebook cover video Limited Edition T-shirts Name or photo on card Guest in our magic coffee club

Pledge €150 or more

KnooKee photobook We will take the best moments from your social pages and make it into the beautiful printed photo book. A few pages will include big thank you letter for your kindness and few pictures from our club. INCLUDES: Your name and photo in our club album Youtube Live thanks Limited edition wallpicture with poker theme Facebook cover video Magic for you - Surprise Limited Edition T-shirts Name or photo on card KnooKee photobook Guest in our magic coffee club

Pledge €350 or more

Poker tournament with your name Big tribute poker tournament with your name. To thank you for your big help in opening this magic place. We will create this tournament trailer and we will send you awesome video. INCLUDES: Your name and photo in our club album Youtube Live thanks Limited edition wallpicture with poker theme Facebook cover video Magic for you - Surprise Limited Edition T-shirts KnooKee photobook Poker tournament with your name Guest in our magic coffee club

Pledge €500 or more

Private poker evening Pick up 9 friends and come to Lithuania. Private poker evening in our club is waiting for you. Our prizes in poker evening. Snacks and coffee free of charge. INCLUDES: Your name and photo in our club album Youtube Live thanks Limited edition wallpicture with poker theme Facebook cover video Magic for you - Surprise Limited Edition T-shirts Name or photo on card KnooKee photobook Poker tournament with your name Guest in our magic coffee club REWARDS Knooke photobook example

REWARDS. What is including to reward ''poker tournament with you name''? We will do poker tournament with your name (brand), prizes will be with your name or brand attribute, big glass cup with tournament name. We will create tournament promotion video (trailer). Backers can give us offer what thay want to see on video or on tournament day. Examples, how video trailers looks like: Why so long takes rewards delivery? It depends on the rewards and how many backers there will be. Some will get in the first month, others later. But our team will try to send all rewards to backer ASAP . Read the full article

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inky-thoughts · 6 years

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How to Organize a Zine 101 #6

I think I talked a lot about planning out your whole zine that we finally can go on with the next step:

Phase 2: Applications

A zine wouldn’t be a zine (okay, yes it would because there are plenty of zines where only one artist contributes to it but that’s not why you’re here) if it wasn’t for the contributors of a zine. The application process is probably the busiest part of making a zine, and it’s right at the start so you basically are shoved into the cold water immediately without much of a pep talk.

Ideally, if you start open applications, you

have gathered some mods so you don’t need to go through this whole ordeal alone

created a web presence (tumblr, twitter, etc.) to spread the word and have people easily gather all info they need to apply (plus some kind of corporate design that makes everything look like a unit)

thought about what is a reasonable number of contributors for you to handle and what type of contributions you want to allow (writing, illustrations, comics, cosplay shoots, ...)

thought about your zine format (printed/digital, size, wordcounts, etc.)

have a budget + printing services (if you have anything printed)

have a solid, manageable schedule figured out (note it probably will change a little bit along the way but ideally really not much or not at all)

Some pointers of how you can figure these parts out are on previous parts of this series, so maybe read up on those if you have any questions. Others will come now as they are something that you kind of figure out at this stage or are simply a budget/taste or goal-oriented thing.

During this phase, you need to basically cover the following steps:

launch all your social media/web presence if you haven’t yet

write down exactly what your zine is about, what format you’ll use and any other specs

have a FAQ

create application forms or regulations on how to apply

gather contributors

weed out those applicants you don’t want on your zine

constantly answering questions people send you (even though you probably stated so in the FAQ)

confirm participation, backups, and declined applicants

The number of contributors

I think the number of contributors is something you kind of have an idea of in the beginning but it will flesh out more as soon as other things get settled and can highly depend on what kind of works contributors create.

Probably the most time-intense thing for mods to handle are fic-writers, which is why there are (sadly) so few zines that allow many or even any writers at all. Writers usually get the most pages per person, need a beta-reader, need their fics to be formatted properly in the zine file to make them look like a unit, and, if you allow collaborations with artists, may have illustrations that also need to be included to the fic. Artists are much more autonome as they just deliver their final file and you just insert it. While it sounds great at first because you as a mod seem to not have that much of a workload to do, I must also mention the fact that I found it harder to work with artists than with writers according to their reliability.

Zine culture somehow established that there are more zines featuring more artists than writers, thus writers per say don’t have many zines they can work on, leading to a cleaner schedule than especially popular and high-quality artists tend to have. Depending on how professionally artists organise themselves, I had to run after quite a few artists for every deadline despite sending reminders via e-mail and our discord channel. The time and effort you save in the planned production you will most likely need to invest at a later point, so it’s not exactly that much of a difference as long as you have mods who work in the respective media themselves.

Generally speaking, having 1 mod per 10-15 contributors is probably a good rule of thumb, but yet again, there are exceptions, and if you split the general fields of modding between your mods, you probably could take on more contributors as you probably don’t need to care about your social media accounts in addition, and everyone works with contributors they can actually relate to due to the shared expertise.

Also, don’t forget that you also need to budget your whole zine, and if you happen to make a printed zine, this also means you should compensate the contributors with a free copy. Think about how many contributors you can afford if you don’t make any sales and how likely it is to get a good (printed) zine out of that number. Having an affordable number also means that you need to think about how many pages your zine should have. Usually, the binding is more of a cost factor than the number of pages, though it also definitely makes a difference if you have 40 or 60 pages (or 100). Be aware of that, too.

With certain themes also comes a specific number of contributors. I think my best example is the HQ Manager Zine I worked on as a contributor. Its theme was ‘Four Seasons,’ featuring the nine confirmed Haikyuu!! Managers, with the specific rule that per manager, in all four seasons was at least one art and one written piece included. Thus we were 36 contributors with a minimum of 9 writers and 9 artists (we ended up with 27 artists I believe.) With those zines, it is crucial to have a highly functional backup system because there always are a few who just drop out.

What kind of contributors do you want to have?

This pretty much goes along with what I mentioned above but also ... not.

There are zines that are about specific topics and where especially certain groups of creators are encouraged to contribute to give them a voice. Usually it’s about women/girls, trans and nonbinary people, LGBTAQ+ people, PoC, disabled, ... or any combination of the above and how those groups experience the fandom, characters, or topics featured in the zine. If you want to create a zine where you especially represent a certain group, make sure to explicitly say so in your Call for Submission posts, and also define it (for example want your contributors to be girls and women, specify if you also allow feminine-presenting nonbinary people as they usually have a similar experience as women if that’s what you’re aiming for), so that possible applicants know if they should even bother to check out your application form.

If you want to cover adult/NSFW themes in your zine, make sure you have an 18+ policy simply to not accidentally become a criminal.

If you have any more specifics because they are crucial to your content, incorporate them as early as possible so you don’t get somebody’s hopes up for nothing. It also helps you as a mod to check certain criteria when you look through your applicants. (And no, I don’t mean ‘must be actually good at art’ or something like that.)

Applications or Invite Only?

Above criteria don’t only apply to open-for-application zines, as Invite Only or a mixture of both need to handle their contributor numbers as well. However, the process of gathering contributors is different.

Invite Only zines have several pros:

you don’t need to justify why X got hired and not Y

you can assure a certain level of quality simply because you know what the contributors are capable of

you can better predict what kind of feel the zine will have

as they usually feature popular contributors, they are likely to sell quite well

you don’t need to dig through tons and tons of applications and can save some time

less time pressure as there are not over hundred people waiting to *finally* get their e-mail

However, there of course are some cons as well:

getting popular /contributors you admire interested in your zine might be difficult if you yourself aren’t very well-known/don’t know the contributors personally

your invited contributors might just say no, leaving you with fewer contributors than intended

the zine might come off as elitist

it’s more difficult to get people invested into your zine from the start as the first public phase (applications) is also hidden away behind closed doors and basically just pop out of the closet several months later with a finished zine up for preorders

I personally don’t really have much experience with Invite Only zines, but generally it feels more like a group project than “one is the manager and everyone else are just the employees” as it tends to be more with open-for-application zines. This can be both, positive and negative, this is something you need to figure out for yourself.

Pros of Public Application:

you don’t really need to worry about not getting enough contributors

you might discover many gems you didn’t know about at first at all because they navigate on different parts of the fandom

you have a big variety of applicants to choose from and find a tone of your zine later on if you’re unsure about it at first

no-one really feels left out because they could just apply

people can get pumped up about your zine early on and possibly save up for it

Cons entail:

there is usually quantity over quality and it takes some time to get to the Good Stuff™

it is a time-consuming process with usually a lot of time pressure because everyone just wants to know who’s in and who’s not

people might get dissappointed because they didn’t get in ‘despite being so much better than XY’

especially artists tend to juggle several zines at once and might not have the time and headspace for your project that you wish they had

you don’t quite know if it will attract more popular contributors

Public Appliations are currently the most common form of gathering contributors methinks, but as I mentioned, both have their pros and cons, and it’s something you need to figure out yourself and what fits your zine best. PA zines have a more democratic feel when it comes to who’s on it as basically everyone could have a chance, though that probably isn’t the case when you move away from the application phase. PA zines tend to be more rigit in their original purpose compared to IO zines.

What also is a thing that zines do is a combination of both. That way, you can target specific contributors that probably would get in a larger crowd, and get public applications too. The more popular contributors also might encourage their fans to apply simply by being named as an already set contributor because, really, who wouldn’t love to work on the same project as their idol (and maybe get senpai notice them)? The better and more popular the already set contributors are, the more quality contributors they might draw in. Stressing ‘might’ here because you can’t always be 100% sure.

How do you want to host applications?

Currently, most zines I have seen use Google Surveys to create application forms as it is pretty easy and intuitive to work with and lets you export all your answers into spreadsheets (plus it’s a cloud device so all of your mods can have access to it.) I personally can only recommend it. I don’t know if there are similar online services as I know that not everyone likes using Google, so if you have any which are similar, please let me know!

Another option is letting people apply via e-mail, though I would advise you to only do that if you know you’ll have very limited applicant numbers or have to deal with just the Invite Only traffic, otherwise it’s probably going to get messy as however small an nieche the fandom is, there will always be plenty to apply to, simply because they hope to finally be on a zine.

I also would suggest to have seperate forms for the different positions you offer (e.g. zine artist, bonus artist, writer, ...), that way you can already split up who’s covering which applications and you’ll be done faster.

I think the next few installments will deal with how to build up a functional application form, what to cover in your FAQ and the important specs on your Call for Submission, but that’s it for now!

Thank you for reading, I hope this is somewhat helpful.

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