#Avatrice fanfiction

[simplyavatrice]

  The light in the room settles again, the halo going dormant as she lands back on the mattress. She’s shaky and uncertain, kind of torn between breaking out into a fit of laughter and bursting into tears.

 Beatrice is still above her, naked in both body and soul, watching her.

 This time, when she touches Ava’s cheek with her hand, Ava presses into Bea’s palm and kisses her thumb as it brushes over Ava’s bottom lip.

 She wants to say it, wants to scream how much she loves her -   but the fog  is fading away. She can feel and if she can, she knows Bea can too.

 So she keeps quiet, scared of what regrets tomorrow might bring. This isn’t something they can just brush off. It isn’t something Beatrice will be able to brush off. She has vows and commitments and internal struggles with her sexuality that she’s battled for years.

 The halo has a seemingly endless power, but Ava knows it can't fix that.

 Still, in the safety of their bedroom, in the pitch black of night, Beatrice doesn’t pull away.

-------

HUGE thank you to @smallandsundry for this commission for the definition of insanity. it truly does capture the moment so perfectly and just...look how well done it is. i am in love

#avatrice #avatrice fanart #avatrice fanfiction #warrior nun #warrior nun fanart #warrior nun fanfiction #fjklsafjslaf i can't stop staring at this #i'm that one parks and rec meme now #thank you so much smalls!

[bazaarwords]

thank you @why-does-it-matterr​! i think i got a little carried away, but i hope you enjoy!

cw: descriptions of injuries

-

There was a place she used to go to after the Order had days like these. Bad days. Ones that left her numb.

Historically, the place is both tangible and not—a lonely tower at the Cat’s Cradle, and once there, a few long moments of contemplation. But her old home is a long way away, and so Beatrice finds the part of her mind that needs this kind of treatment and sends it elsewhere. As for her body, she deigns to get to work instead of separating herself. The OCS may not be her world anymore, but there are wounded. People she cares for.

In the wreckage of their makeshift hideout, Beatrice wonders if maybe it’s never been the events of the day that seep the feeling from her. Maybe it’s always been this—this thing she must do to herself in order to succeed. Months of wandering have not divested her of the need to perform. The months have, however, been a reminder of all she’s lost.

She sets her feelings aside. There are things to do.

The first order of business: Camila’s shoulder is out of socket, and for all their collective expertise, Beatrice remains the best candidate to set it. Years ago, before the Order had swept her away, she’d spent a long summer volunteering in a hospital. It’s not the medical training she’d received afterwards, but the exposure was, at the very least, an advantage.

“Ready?” She asks, although she knows that Camila is always ready.

Camila, in the kind way she does all things, just smiles as if Beatrice is the one that needs the reassurance. She nods. “Go for it.”

Camila doesn’t flinch. She lets out a long, measured breath and she says, “ow” and she laughs at herself. Beatrice would like to take the time to laugh with her, but her joy is locked up in that faraway place. She squeezes Camila’s other shoulder, helps her into a sling made of a torn shirt, and moves on to the next.

Sister Dora has twisted her wrist. It’s discolored and swollen, but her bones are, thankfully, intact.

“A tarask,” she explains, “I thought it’d… well, I thought it’d kill me but…”

But she came back, Beatrice thinks to herself, searching the wreckage for wood to make a splint. She saved you.

She blinks that away—she has to. Sister Dora must notice her reticence. She doesn’t complete her thought. So Beatrice secures Sister Dora’s arm, and she moves on.

Yasmine has taken a glancing blow to the head, and Mother Superion has opted to stay up with her in the wake of the fight to monitor the damage.

“I’m okay,” Yasmine says when Beatrice comes by, holding up a placating hand. “I mean—I remember my name, so. So that’s good, right?”

Superion offers the smallest of smirks. It’s fond, not hard-won. “Yes, Yasmine,” she says, and rises up on unsteady footing. It’s not the new, halo-resurrected Superion.

“What happened?” Beatrice asks, firmer than she’d meant to. Emotions are nebulous when she settles into this way.

Superion shakes her head. “Nothing that should concern you. A few bruises.” She gives Beatrice a meaningful look—one she’s not present enough to catalogue. “There’s a cot in the back. Rest. We’re fine here.”

It sounds like an order, and even though she’s put the church behind her, she still respects Mother Superion. She can still recognize that she’s done all she can for the group, within reason. So she makes her way to the back room, feeling nothing. She sits on the edge of the cot, feeling nothing. She shrugs off her outer layers, feeling nothing.

Her mind has been in that faraway place, however, and as she returns to herself, everything sinks in.

While information comes in in pieces, on thing is for certain—there’s pain, everywhere. It would make the most sense to take stock of the worst places, the ones that need her immediate attention, but when feeling rushes back into her, the only thing she can think is that she needs to get out of this room and to wherever she’s gone—

There’s a jolt, razor sharp in the already excruciating throb of her abdomen. It’s quite obviously from when she’d been launched across a courtyard. The intensity winds her halfway to standing and her hip smarts as soon as she’s fallen back to the cot. She tells herself several times that she needs to get herself back in that empty place, that world where she feels nothing. Above all things, she needs to be there because she needs to find Ava.

A week prior, there had been a desperate call for help, a train from the small Finnish town she’d wandered into the month before, and Beatrice had found herself right back in the fray. Seeing the faces of her friends again after all their time apart had been bittersweet. When the fight had come to them, she’d remembered the last words Lilith had said to her. A holy war.

Despite her best efforts, she’s in the middle of it.

“Fuck,” she says, because she curses now. Because she knows that her knee is going to give out if she tries to stand. Because she’s effectively trapped herself in this room.

Frustration wells up in her like a lit fuse.

Assess the damage, she thinks, because what the hell else can she do?

The buttons of her shirt are slow work, her hands are weak from gripping her machine gun, her knives, the side of a building as she hoisted herself and Yasmine back to safety.

God is lost to her now, but it is a miracle that none of her injuries have drawn blood. A massive swath of skin along her side is purple and yellow but unbroken—it is the very worst of things. It hurts to draw breath, and hurts even more to bend and pull her pant leg up past her knee, to find the skin there in much the same condition. Upon further inspection, her hip, too, is a wild mess of bruises.

She’s a wreck, and what do they have to show for it? A few inches of ground? A few battered nuns, scrounging up whatever tools they can find?

Ava.

They have Ava. She just… doesn’t know where.

Beatrice had seen it happen as if in a dream.

The blinding light from above, the shockwave that had sent the tarasks flying in all directions, but hadn’t so much as nudged the sisters. When she’d looked, it was Ava’s form in the center of the light—Beatrice would know it anywhere, in any world—flickering in and out. She remembers shouting, desperate, stumbling through the wreckage. The details from there are hard to recollect. It’s when she’d been grabbed and thrown, it’s when the fight had resumed and she’d lost sight of Ava.

But she had seen her. That she’s certain of.

She closes her eyes, wincing as she tilts her head to the ceiling. The breath she tries to take is shallow and does nothing to steady herself.

“Beatrice?”

The pain of movement is forgotten, the voice like a ribbon of gold around her heart.

There’s Ava. There’s Ava.

The breath is gone in a rush, and Beatrice forgets the rest of the pain and she tries desperately to stand, to run, to move. Her leg gives out and Ava’s on her in a second, easing her back down.

“Ava,” she says, voice breaking, throat tight, “Ava.”

Ava kneels in front of her and she takes Ava’s face in her hands and she can’t look away. Suddenly, that place she goes—the one that is empty and lonely is filled with life. Filled with Ava. And she’s here, she’s real and alive and breathtaking in all the ways that Beatrice has loved. Loves. She feels nothing but it, looking at Ava.

“Bea,” Ava says, fingers wrapped around Beatrice’s wrists like they’ve been fused there. “Bea, you—you’re hurt.”

“You’re here,” Beatrice responds—nothing else matters. “Ava, you’re—“ She doesn’t have other words.

It should hurt to speak. It should hurt to lean forward, but then her lips are on Ava’s and nothing hurts, everything aches. Ava makes a small noise that lets loose something in Beatrice’s chest, and she wants to draw Ava closer, but her body betrays her, her whole side lighting up as if on fire. As if to remind her that respite is fleeting. But she doesn’t care, nothing else matters—

Ava notices her wince and pulls away. It hurts to try to pull her back, but still Beatrice tries. “Fuck,” Ava says, voice shaky, “Bea—hold on. You need—“

“I need you to not leave. I’m fine, I promise.”

“I’m not—you’re not fine, your—oh, God, Bea your side—“

Another Beatrice might have taken modesty into consideration. Her shirt is wide open, her trousers undone, and Ava is knelt before her, a hand on her bare knee. She just—she just wants so keenly that the constant, painful reminders of her body’s journey through battle feel like they’re killing her. She wants to pull Ava up and on to her lap, she wants Ava’s mouth on hers again, she wants, she wants, she wants. And maybe it’s her pilgrimage and her seperation from the church that’s allowing her this clear revelation, or maybe it’s just the relief to be in the same room as the girl she loves. Maybe that’s all it’s ever been.

“Let me… shit, I don’t know how good I am at this yet.” Ava focuses down on Beatrice’s splotchy, wounded knee, and the dark room is slowly illuminated by the glow of the Halo.

It feels… itchy, at first. It’s not a scab, but the injury takes on the properties of one—Beatrice tamps down the overwhelming need to scratch or pat at it, but then—as soon as it began—it’s gone. Ava pulls her hand away and the skin is as normal as it’s ever been. An oblong scar where bone is closest to skin from one too many skinned knees, but other than that? Nothing.

“How did you…” Beatrice trails off, swinging her leg back and forth easily.

“I’d… you know, I’d really like to explain it, but, uh. I have no fucking idea.”

Beatrice can’t help it, she laughs, a little hysterical. And then she wants to throw up.

“Don’t—no laughing. Stop it,” Ava says with a worried smile. She sets the tips of her fingers at the massive bruise on Beatrice’s side, and Beatrice can’t tamp down the shiver that rockets through her at the feeling. “Sorry. Sorry, I just need to...” Ava says, her voice thick, “just let me…”

The Halo does its work again, scrubbing her pain from her, raw and red until it’s not anymore. Beatrice takes a breath, and there is no pain.

“Good?” Ava asks.

“Good,” Beatrice responds. She wants that to be the end of it, but when she tries to move in again—“I think there’s another…”

Herein lies the problem. Her hip.

Ava looks down, and they’re in the middle of a war, but Beatrice wonders if she closes her eyes for just a moment, maybe they’ll be back in the Alps. Maybe there, this touch is necessary for another reason. Maybe Ava is looking up at her like this and maybe nothing has ever been wrong.

But they’re in the blown-out remains of a church, and there are demons everywhere, and in her darkest moments she’d worried that this—her and Ava—was lost for good.

Ava hovers over her bruise, and Beatrice nods. Ava is delicate, fingers light over her hipbone. This is not the time to wish for another life, but still she does. And for the first time in months, the wish has legs. It climbs out of that place she goes and it smiles at her, and Ava smiles at her too, proud of her work.

Beatrice draws her in, and the war rages on, but there are no more lonely places.

She has Ava. It’s enough.

#warrior nun #warrior nun fic #warrior nun fanfic #warrior nun fanfiction #ava silva #sister beatrice #avatrice #avatrice fanfiction #avatrice fic #fanfiction #fanfic #fics #sister camila #sister yasmine #mother superion #wn #save warrior nun #my fics #my writing

[infinityinakiss]

avatrice au fic recommendations:

i don't think there is a single avatrice au fic that i haven't read so here are some my favorites. i tried to find ones that weren't as popular, so hopefully there are couple here you haven't read.

I want to believe by puppybusby @yashastrongarms - x files au - basically 23k of avatrice flirting while being incredibly reckless with alien shit. unfortunately, it is only a one shot that doesn't delve into their relationship, but it is so worth it. and the tension. woof.

Truly a Steadfast Love by StoicLastStand - medieval au - they have a whole series of ficlets, but this is one of my favorites. there's a tournament to win ava's hand in marriage, ava goes undercover to fight for her freedom, but she ends up falling for the very knight who everybody wants to win. i also love their lucifer au, Greater Sacrifices.

a lover, or something of mine by Smokestarrules - reincarnation au - each chapter is a different life with a different story, and i promise you, if you have anything that even resembles a heart, you will cry. i keep going back and rereading chapter 4 because apparently i love to hurt myself. i also love the world is just illusion (trying to change you) by them, it's a road trip au.

i should love you (and i swear i do) by Noteveryonefitsintothebadbitchgenre - harry potter au (fuck jk rowling) - its that trope where they're married and they talk about each other constantly but nobody actually knows they're married. their students all think that professor silva and professor young have a friendly rivalry, but there are a couple of moments that don't add up.

purple by sxftmelody - hitman au - technically, but really it's just sad, i always cry at the end. beatrice helps ava run away after a job, and slowly they open themselves up and start to fall in love. tw: major character death. also love turning page by the same author, mercenary/princess au.

in our corner of the world by definitelynotthere - roommate au - i know, i know, there's a thousand roommate aus, why would i recommend a fic that isn't even finished and will probably never get finished? i don't know, i just really love this one, and if you're like me, you'll go "ooh, two cakes" and read it anyway.

The last hero of Ogygia by jessnope - percy jackson au - specifically calypso au, ava is calypso and beatrice is the flirty hunter that washed up on her shore. it's super cute.

stay there, 'cause i'll be coming over (while our blood's still young) by britishngay - spiderman au - ava's character voice is actually designed to be spiderman, and bea is the perfect doctor lady that patches spidey up when she gets hurt. plus beatrice telling lilith to "shut up and sit down" will never not be iconic.

sunday people (sunday shines for you) by gilligankane @piratekane - another roommates au - jealous ava is back again and out for blood, specifically jenn-with-two-ns blood.

this is my prayer (I'm in love with you) by nyxtyka - my best friend's wedding/spies au - i'll be honest, this fic went to my marked for laters to die. i don't know if it'll ever be finished, but it is one of my favorite aus, i promise it'll be worth the pain.

spellbound by onomofication - witch au - beatrice is the witch in the woods that ava goes to to finally find a way to explore the world like she has always wanted to. but as she gets to know the surprisingly kind, serious, kinda-sorta witch, she discovers that maybe the world was smaller than she had once imagined. i also love another fic by this author, hit me with you best shot, which is basically a cupid au, where ava runs around trying to stop jc, a cupid, from shooting the love of her life, beatrice.

the celestial glow is blinding by understreetlights - firewatch au - did i think ava and beatrice sitting around, looking at trees, and falling love with each other through walkie talkies was going to be interesting? no, but the world loves to prove me wrong.

too cold, it's withdrawal by KatieQgle - captain america au - give this one a chance, even if you don't like marvel. beatrice is hot as fuck as bucky and honestly the winter soldier plot line needed a little sapphic yearning. come on, avatrice in the army in the 1940s, being badass and fighting nazis together? who wouldn't love that?

i have a ton more, reach out if you want them!

#is it clear that i love 15k one shots? #i'm sorry for all the unfinished ones they're just too good #and hey maybe you can manifest them updating #just don't harass the writers #fic writers are like cats stuck under a building #you have to lure them out with gentle words and treats #warrior nun #avatrice #warrior nun fanfic #avatrice fanfic #avatrice fanfiction #avatrice fic #avatrice au #also i'm sorry if i didn't tag everybody on tumblr i just suck at tumblr sometimes #some accounts i just couldn't find #if there's an account that i forgot to tag please let me know

[youreacroftlara]

Here’s a little preview of my upcoming Avatrice celebrity AU that’s partly inspired by Taylor Swift x Travis Kelce.

—

Ava’s posture oozes confidence, which is impressive for someone so young when the room is filled with so many reporters.

Beatrice listens intently, her book long forgotten, as Ava answers questions about her upcoming match.

She speaks professionally about her preparations, her team's strategies, and her unwavering dedication to the sport. But every so often, she’ll crack a joke or flash a bright, playful smile that endears her to both the reporters and Beatrice.

It’s infectious, and Beatrice finds herself becoming increasingly smitten with Ava’s mannerisms, not to mention the subtle hint of an accent that is quite sexy.

The questions posed to Ava are fairly straightforward, and for the most part are to do with football – Beatrice wishes that she was more up to speed on the sport, but alas, she’s always found rugby to be more entertaining.

The press conference continues along, until one reporter asks Ava about her recent attendance at Beatrice’s concert. “You were at the Beatrice Young gig at Wembley on Saturday night, how was it?”

Betarice’s eyes are glued to the screen as Ava laughs at the question, her cheeks reddening.

“It was awesome yeah!” the football player answers, her smile right and wide. “Although, I was a little butt hurt I didn't get to hand her one of the bracelets I made for her. If you're up on her concerts, there are friendship bracelets handed out. I received a bunch of them, but I wanted to give Beatrice one with my number on it.”

Beatrice gasps out loud to her empty room, her heart in her throat at what’s just been said. Ava Silva wanted to give her a bracelet with her number on it? What did that mean?

The reporter echoes Beatrice’s thoughts with his next question, “Are you referring to 83, your shirt number or your phone number?”

With what can only be described as a ‘shit eating grin’ Ava winks at the camera, “I’ll let you figure that one out.”

The room erupts in laughter and shared whispers, and Beatrice's cheeks flush a deep shade of crimson.

#avatrice fanfic #avatrice fanfiction #avatrice #warrior nun #my writing #celebrity au #ava silva #sister beatrice #trust me this is gonna be a long one #i’m in 11k+ words and counting so far

[morningsound15]

Pairing: Beatrice/Ava

Rated: E

Word Count: 10,747

Thank you to those who gave me prompts!! I desperately needed them. So now enjoy 10,000 words of whatever the fuck this is. Lots of love from me to you, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

**

And Beatrice is not good; she is not holy; she is not worthy of her vows. She is taking advantage of Ava’s good nature, of her warmth, of her need for physical intimacy. She knows that she is. She knows that when Ava reaches for her in the dark it isn’t because she’s reaching for Beatrice so much as she’s reaching for someone. A body. Any body would suffice. Beatrice’s body, with its racing heart and its trembling fingers, with its weak-kneed sensibilities and inability to say no, just happens to be near.

And Beatrice is not good; she is not holy; because she does not stop it from happening. She leans into it. She draws Ava into herself, she breathes in the scent of Ava’s shampoo, she revels in the warmth of her skin beneath her clothes, in the perfect way Ava’s soft curves seem to meld against her own hardness. Beatrice is all sharp edges. She is stern, she is steel.

She is weak, for Ava and everything about her.

**

5 + 1: five times Ava initiates romantic contact with Bea + the one time Beatrice does

#warrior nun #warrior nun fanfiction #avatrice #beatrice x ava #avatrice fanfiction #mine

[bae-in-maine]

WARRIOR NUN!

Just a reminder to watch Warrior Nun, and once you've watched it, watch it again, and again, and again. You don't actually need to r3watch it, just set it up on your phone, tv, laptop, ipad etc and let it run. Also, "rewatch" season 1.

Go and rate it on Netflix, IMBD etc. Tweet about it, tag it in tumblr, facebook whatever.

We need to make a lot of noise so we get our season 3! Netflix is notorious for canceling shows with wlw representation, and I don't know about you, but I really need Ava and Bea to find their way back to each other!

Let's do it!

#warrior nun #avatrice #avatrice fanfiction #ava and bea #netflix #queer tv #LGBT tv shows #LGBT #LGBTIA #wlw #wlw tv shows #lesbians #bisexuals #so gay #gay

[unholyhelbig]

Ava & Beatrice Masterlist

Main Masterlist | Ao3 | Request a prompt

Oneshots:

Hello God, so there you are: It's been two long years since Ava fell backward into the arch, two years where Beatrice had to fight for a way to get back to her. Things have changed immensely. What happens when Ava falls back into Beatrice's new life?

The Family I've Found

Ava and Bea have carved out the perfect life for themselves in the suburbs of Elverum, a city in Norway. She has never felt more content. That is, until a letter arrives in the mail that turns everything on it's head.[Aka, the one where Ava's father enters her life again]

Kick Some Catholic Ass

Beatrice recieves a letter from the Catholic Boarding School that she attended before joining the OCS. It's been 10 years and her reunion is quickly approaching. With the help of Ava, Beatrice overcomes her fears and returns back home for a trip she'll never forget.

Watch, and Learn

Beatrice hated these types of meetings. While they were necessary, she didn’t ever have the heart to sit a parent down and tell them that their child was behaving in the worst way possible. A simple parent-teacher conference brings Ava and Beatrice together and ushers them through grief, and the prospect of new relationships.

The Blood Ties that Bind

Bodies start popping up within the city drained of blood and torn at the throat. Detective Ava Silva and her new partner Beatrice Alexander are determined to crack the case before more victims are discovered. But when recent technological advancements threaten how things are done, Beatrice has to put more trust in her partner than ever before. [Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter five | Chapter Six]

#Ava Silva #Sister Beatrice #Avatrice #Avatrice fanfiction #Warrior nun #Warrior Nun fanfiction

[good-oldfashioned-nightmare]

New chapter of the space au Avatrice fic is hot off the presses! Check it out! Or not! Do what you want!

#avatrice #warrior nun #ao3 #avatrice fanfiction #fanfic

[reflectionsofgalaxies]

Okay so it turns out the brilliant Tangelene Bolton (creator of Warrior Nun’s stunning soundtrack, including Beatrice and Ava’s beautiful theme) has read Avatrice fanfiction.

Every time I think I can’t love this cast and crew more- 💖

#oh and the lovely person who tweeted this is one of the core people we have to thank for the OCS newsletter btw #seriously this cast and crew is just. . . ✨ #they blow my mind #*insert that one KTY mind blown pic* #so dedicated so passionate and so kind! to keep interacting and fighting with us #going far beyond ‘just a job’ #it’s also their pleasure and it shows #people like William don’t stand to benefit from the show being renewed necessarily #and people like Trisán and KTY don’t get paid for doing the little interviews online or in Twitter spaces and things #they’re literally just doing it matters to them and they believe in it and mostly they see how much it means to us #and I think that’s just so cool #anyway I’m exhausted from work so I’m rambling #Warrior Nun #Avatrice #Tangelene Bolton #Avatrice Fanfiction #music score #composer #Spotify

[littleskrimp]

Another fanfic dedication meme!

For @ninesradscreenname

If you haven’t binged their works, you’re really missing out.

I have yet to read your current fanfic but I’m sure I’ll react the same way as the meme. ☺️

#avatrice #avatrice fanfiction #warrior nun fanfiction #warrior nun

[willbikeforfood]

This is, by far, the best thing on Twitter right now. I am absolutely obsessed!

https://twitter.com/avatriceau/status/1602419349658210331?s=46&t=d6LqKVqedasOA4zptOyxxA

#warrior nun #avatrice #alternate canon #ava silva #save sapphic shows #savewarriornun #save warrior nun #avatrice fanfiction

[simplyavatrice]

Ava Silva, just hearing her full name jogs a memory - a fuzzy one - of a time when she heard that name. She doesn’t remember where it was. An article or a movie or…something but she knows she’s heard that name before. Ava Silva is a celebrity. She’s an actress. She’s been flirting with an incredibly famous actress. or A Hollywood AU

#avatrice #avatrice fanfiction #warrior nun #warrior nun fanfiction #and we're back! #but at a much less chaotic and more moderate pace #aka - only one story at a time lmao

[bazaarwords]

“Have you ever been here before?” Ava asks, a little out of breath as she hustles back to Beatrice. “They’ve got—” She points with her entire body at a machine on the far side of the space. “A hot noodle machine! You—it’s just—you get hot noodles literally whenever you want.”

“We can get hot noodles later,” she says halfheartedly, and finds that she would love to have a bowl of hot noodles right about now. “Come on. They’re expecting us.”

-

more atla au!! thank you all for the wonderful feedback!! :))

#fanfiction #my fics #my writing #writing #fic #warrior nun #fanfic #avatrice #ava x beatrice #avatrice fanfic #avatrice fanfiction #avatrice fic #sister beatrice #ava silva #mother superion #jillian salvius #michael salvius #sister camila #sister lilith #shotgun mary #sister yasmine #atla au #redshift #redshift fic #wn fic

[ravena-ohridska]

Just me at 7am thinking about future avatrice with three kids having a picnic.

I'm okay 🥹

#ava x beatrice #beatrice x ava #ava silva #ava and beatrice #avatrice #Avatrice headcanon #Avatrice fanfiction #Avatrice fanfic #Future avatrice #Avatrice kids #Sapphic #Sapphic couple #Sapphic ship #Warrior Nun #Warrior Nun Netflix #Warrior Nun spoilers #Warrior Nun S2 #Sister Beatrice #Warrior Nun Beatrice

[uselessgayshit]

i can't get them out of my fucking head

read on ao3

-

We found ourselves in Switzerland. How? I wasn’t really sure. The escape from Adriel was all a blur and in the aftermath of losing Mary, Beatrice needed something to occupy herself with. So, I let her make the plans.

I’m not sure I would’ve been any good if it had been left up to me. I was lost. Uncertain how to go forward, only knowing that I had to. But a brief reprieve would be welcomed – even if the looming rise of Adriel darkened our days. And besides, Beatrice was adamant that I needed more training. I still didn’t quite believe I’d ever understand the halo but she had more faith in me than that.

Beatrice tossed her bag onto the floor and said, “You can take the bed. I’ll be fine on the couch.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Ava scoffed. “It’s big enough for two.”

Beatrice stilled, staring, unreadable, at Ava. She swallowed and nodded solemnly. “I suppose it is.”

I didn’t realize what her hesitancy was about until weeks later.

“Ava?”

Ava blinked her eyes open slowly. The sun streamed through the window.

“What time is it?” she asked groggily, voice thick with sleep.

“Why are you sleeping on the couch?”

Ava rubbed at her eyes, slowly sitting up, exhaustion flooding her body. She must’ve only gotten a few hours of sleep if that. “I didn’t want to wake you.”

“That’s never been a problem before.”

There wasn’t much Ava could say in defense without showing her hand. But she had taken one shot more than she should have the night before and after stumbling up the stairs to their flat, she had stood in the doorway, measuring her options. Her side of the bed was empty; Beatrice was curled up on the other, the light of the moon shining through the un-curtained window, keeping the shadows off Beatrice’s face. Ava smiled softly, drunkenly. For once, Beatrice didn’t look bogged down by the weight of her position. The tension of her jaw slack. The worry lines across her forehead nonexistent.

Ava was drawn toward her, moving across the room as if tugged by a lasso. She swore under her breath as she walked right into the coffee table, shin smarting with pain. She winced, rubbing at the spot and glanced up to see if she had awoken Beatrice. The girl in the bed shifted, the sheet falling sideways off the bed. As she rolled, the bottom of her T-shirt pulled up, exposing the skin above her hip. Ava stared. And then she gulped. And then she tore her eyes from Beatrice and took the couch, heart thumping hard in her chest.

What had been, only a day before, so normal, suddenly felt like the most terrifying thing in the world.

“You’re the one who said the bed was big enough for two. I offered.”

I cannot be dealing with this right now.

Ava quickly wracked her brain for any excuse. She rubbed at her forehead, a headache from lack of sleep and the hangover she was not going to be able to avoid was starting to raise its head. “I was drunk and tired and this is as far as I made it.”

Even without looking she knew Beatrice was pursing her lips.

“You should stay out with me some time,” Ava said without thinking, only wanting to avoid a lecture. She looked up, eyes narrowing in the bright light, as she took in the sight of Beatrice. She was still getting used to seeing Beatrice without her habit. And while Beatrice rarely walked around without her hair pulled tightly back as she had become so accustomed to in the order, Ava lived for the moments it was down, softly bouncing against Beatrice’s shoulders, catching the light in a way that made it shimmer…

I really cannot be dealing with this right now.

“I’m going to shower,” Ava announced as her only escape route. She patted the couch cushions and pushed herself up.

“Great. Then meet me at the lake before work.”

Ava’s shoulders slumped and she whined, “Bea.”

“Next time don’t stay out so late,” Beatrice said as her parting words.

Ava dropped with an exasperated sigh back onto her makeshift bed.

Beatrice had a nightly routine of looking at the one window, disgruntled. Her lip turned down, her brow furrowed, her arms crossed. And I watched her, eternally amused, waiting for her to broach the topic we discussed almost every evening like rote.

“We should cover that window.”

Whether she had done it on purpose, Beatrice had landed us in one of the most beautiful and peaceful places I had ever been. So, we were on different sides of this argument, and I didn’t see us agreeing any time soon.

Ava liked to see the sky. She liked that the moon was their guide at night and that the sun woke them. She liked the window being open as she slept to feel the cool breeze on her bare skin.

Ava pulled the covers back from their bed and rolled her eyes.

Nothing escaped Beatrice. “I know you like it Ava” - she glanced apprehensively toward the subject at hand – “but it’s not safe.

“We need something good in our lives, Bea,” Ava said with a grin and a levity to her voice, trying to assuage Beatrice’s spiral into anxiety. “We’ve been safe so far.”

“We’re supposed to be in hiding.”

“If you want to be locked in a room with me all day, you could just say so.”

What the hell?

Ava stilled for a split second and then moved to hide her gaff under the guise of finding perfect placement for the pillows.

When she regained her confidence and chanced a glance, Beatrice was pulling her hair out of the low bun she often wore to work. “Can we compromise?”

“Uh…” - Ava shook her head, more than a little distracted – “What?”

“Can we compromise?” Beatrice repeated with patience. “At least let me buy curtains.”

She sat on the bed, sliding her legs under the sheets. Ava jumped up on top of the covers on her knees and palms, quirking an eyebrow at Beatrice. “We have one window.”

“And I would like some privacy,” Beatrice explained with a stern look.

Ava chewed on her lip. “We’re on the third floor.”

Beatrice picked the book off the bedside table, while pointing out the window. “If you can see them, they can see you.”

Ava looked out the window and saw the fluttering of white, sheer curtains in the building across the street and the shadowed movements of the people who lived there.

I didn’t like it. It felt like we were closing ourselves in and I had never been good with feeling trapped. But I stifled the bubbling anxiety that curdled in my stomach and watched Bea hang the curtains the following evening. Her sigh of relief when they were up was enough to qualm my own nerves.

“Ava? Ava! Ava, move!” She was being unceremoniously jostled back to consciousness.

“Bea?”

“You’re like a furnace. I’m sweating.”

Ava blinked her eyes open in the dim light, noting exactly how close she had come to Beatrice’s face.

“How are you so strong even in your sleep?” Beatrice asked rhetorically, trying to pry Ava’s arm off her body.

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.

The bed was big enough for two people. We had slept in it fine for weeks. There had never been a problem before. But ever since I… ever since a very stupid thought entered my head, one that I couldn’t shake, my unconscious body had started to betray me.

Her actual side of the bed was cold. Sometime during the night, she had found her way across the mattress, snuggling into Beatrice’s sleeping form. Her arm was thrown over the other girl, one of her feet pushed through Beatrice’s legs.

Ava scrambled back, pulling all her limbs back to herself, and kicking the sheets out of the place in the process. Her back pressed into the slates of the headboard, wood biting into skin through her thin T-shirt. Her chest rose and fell with shallowed breaths, her face flushing with heat. Her muscles tensed until she was statuesque.

Beatrice threw the covers off herself. Sleepily she said, “You are going to force me to take the couch.”

Ava choked out an incomprehensible mutter.

“Are you okay?”

No.

“I’m fine.”

Beatrice pushed herself up into a seated position with a groan. Her oversized shirt hung loosely off her shoulders. She reached out but Ava scrambled away, overcompensating and almost falling flat on her face in her hurry. She dared not look anywhere but at the floor. She ran her hand through her hair. “No! No, it’s fine. I’m fine. I’m going for a walk.”

“It’s the middle of the night.” Beatrice stared at Ava. Ava stared out the window. “Do you want me to come with you?”

“I’ll be fine, Bea,” she said with a short and forced chuckle.

“You’ve said that before.”

“I’ll be fine,” she assured with as much sincerity as she could muster while refusing to make eye contact.

I had always liked working shifts with Bea. But now, things were different. I was hyperaware of her presence. Everything she did felt new and different – electrified. I did everything I could to stay completely out of her way which she noticed – because she’s Bea – and I ignored the strange look she sent my way by pretending I wasn’t doing anything out of the norm.

Until I couldn’t avoid her.

Ava startled as someone grabbed her hands. Beatrice was there – so close, eyes focused on the skin of her palms, studying her. She had escaped out the back of the bar for a five-minute break. She needed space. She needed to breathe in air she wasn’t sharing with Beatrice. She needed to clear her head.

She tried to pull back from Beatrice’s grasp, but Beatrice easily followed the movement, holding on. “Are you alright? I -”

There it is.

The feeling that rushed through Ava could only be described as a righteous smugness. Because while Beatrice had been so enraptured by whatever she was investigating on Ava’s hands, she hadn’t noticed their proximity. So, when she finally looked up to ask the question, their noses almost touched.

The smugness came after the rush of adrenaline that sent Ava’s heart racing. After Beatrice’s eyes had widened. After she had taken a split second that had lasted years to look into Ava’s eyes. After Ava had stopped breathing. After Beatrice had cleared her throat. After she had – with more calmness and stoicism than Ava would ever had been able to gather – backed away, lips pressing into a fine line.

The air was charged between them.

This really isn’t the time for whatever this is.

Beatrice flexed her fingers. “You’ve dropped three glasses today.”

“What?”

“Your hands are shaky.”

Ava looked down. There was a slight tremble that with enough effort, she stilled. She looked back up. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

How did she not know she was the reason?

“You’d tell me if something was wrong?”

Maybe… Depending… Unless… Well, there were stipulations.

“Of course, Bea.”

I had been extremely nervous around Bea when we first met. But I thought becoming friends would have dulled that. Always saving one another in life-threatening situations should have had that effect. But I was starting to crave her. Everything about her. Her presence. It’s like my body started to itch when we weren’t in the same room. So, yeah, the fluttering in my stomach was back in full force.

“Ava?”

Ava hadn’t been able to fall asleep because her mind had been running a mile a minute. She was sitting on the couch, stuck in the same position for hours. It was nearly three in the morning. Her head turned toward the bed at the sound of her name. Beatrice had sat up and was rubbing at her eyes, looking at the empty side of the bed reserved for Ava with the cutest expression of a question on her face.

“Here, Bea.”

Beatrice’s head swiveled at the sound of Ava’s voice. “Ava? What are you still doing up? And why are you over there?”

She had awoken near midnight, annoyed that on one of her few nights off, she had only managed to stay asleep for a couple hours. She was parched – her throat uncomfortably dry. The curtains were hanging still in the night. There was no moonlight to be seen, the sky clouded from a nighttime storm. She padded to the to their tiny kitchen, goosebumps rippling across her legs, and poured herself a glass of water as quietly as she could. A couple sips at the sink, thinking about how warm it was under the covers.

But, on her way back, her right leg began to tingle. And then it disappeared. She lost all connection to it and dropped, just able to catch herself on the coffee table before her left went as well. The panic had frozen her on the ground, muscles seizing as fear flooded the part of her body she could still feel. Eventually, she managed to crawl her way over to the couch and wiggle her way up.

Her face was tear-streaked from silent sobs. It was so odd, disconcerting, to see the limbs but have no link to them. It hadn’t even been that long, but she had already started to forget how it felt not to have control over her own body. Years of her life erased by the miracle of walking again.

I’m so stupid. This was never going to last.

It was fear at reverting to a state she thought she had escaped from. Fear that everything she had been working towards would be for naught. Fear of losing the halo and the title that she hadn’t chosen but had come to respect. Fear that she’d be cast aside as the people she loved went up against their greatest enemy yet.

Fear that if she wasn’t useful, Beatrice would move onto someone that was.

After she had cried herself out, she had started coming up with solutions. How to fix the unfixable. How to hide it from Beatrice. But, she was still on the couch when Beatrice awoke because there was nothing to be done. She hoped it was a fluke, something to wait out. But hours later and not even a tingle.

“Come back to bed.”

She winced and closed her eyes, steadying her breath. Her head fell back against the cushions. “I… I can’t.”

“I thought we were past the sharing the bed discussion.”

“No,” Ava shook her head, wishing it were that simple. “I can’t. I can’t walk.”

“What do you mean you can’t?” Rustling and footsteps and Beatrice was knelt in front of her. Ava’s eyes closely followed the movement as Beatrice’s hand landed on her knee. She couldn’t feel it and yet her heart skipped just knowing it was there.

“Ava? What’s wrong?”

She gritted her teeth together. “I can’t walk.”

“What?”

“I’m paralyzed, remember?”

The look on Beatrice’s face proved that Ava wasn’t the only who took her current condition for granted. “But, you aren’t anymore…”

“No, I still am.” She was somehow able to sink ever further into the couch. “I think I just have a magical, religious artifact imbedded in my body that makes me the puppeteer.”

She wigged her upper body, trying to stretch out her lower back that was developing an ache. “But apparently only when it wants to.”

Beatrice’s other hand reached out to clutch hers, squeezing. “Why didn’t you wake me?”

Ava shrugged. It wasn’t that she didn’t feel how big of a deal it was, but doom had been the only thing occupying her mind for hours, so she had already experienced the five stages of grief. Her nonchalance was a result of resignation. She picked up her left leg, dropping it back again. “Figured they’d start working again.”

Beatrice clucked and shook her head. She whispered, “Ava…”

God, I can’t lose her.

“It’s my job to keep you safe. I need to know these things. Has it happened before?”

Ava shook her head equally admonished and embarrassed at Beatrice’s genuine care. At needing to be reminded time and time again that Beatrice, her other sisters, weren't going anywhere.

I wish she wouldn’t look at me like that. It made the lie worse than it was. This hadn’t happened before, but there were times in training, stumbles, that I had waved off as uneven Earth or my own lethargy. But I knew it was something different altogether.

“We’ll figure it out, okay?” Beatrice reached up and wiped a new tear off Ava’s cheek. Ava leaned into the touch, closing her eyes.

When she opened them again, Beatrice’s head was titled, soft eyes watching Ava. She smiled, small and sad. “Let’s get you back to bed, okay?”

Beatrice stood up, sliding her arms under Ava’s armpits, attempting to lift her from the couch. They both dropped back, Beatrice practically sitting in Ava’s lap. They’re faces were so close that Ava could see the moonlight reflected in Beatrice’s eyes.

“I don’t think that’s going to work.” The words barely made a sound.

Beatrice swallowed and cleared her throat, backing up. “Okay. New idea.”

She strode the few steps back to the bed, swiping the throw from the edge and returned to Ava’s side. “We’ll sleep here then.”

We? It was infuriating how quickly the heart could step in to take control of a situation. I was stuck on the couch for reasons that could be my undoing, yet I was suddenly more concerned over how enamored I was with that one word.

“I don’t think the couch is big enough for two,” Ava commented, attempting, one last time, to put a barrier between them.

“Well,” Beatrice said with a glimmer of amusement flickering across her face, “I think that’s just ridiculous.”

Beatrice sat on the couch and helped Ava pull her legs up onto the couch. She leaned, head resting against the arm rest and beckoned for Ava.

A moment’s hesitation and then Ava steeled herself, pressing her palms down on either side of Beatrice’s body and pushing herself up. Beatrice spread the blanket out across them both and then wrapped her arms around Ava.

“You won’t be able to sleep.”

“I’ll be fine,” Beatrice assured. “You need to rest.”

Ava’s head laid in the crook of Beatrice’s arm. A soft, involuntary smile broke across Ava’s face, and she nuzzled the side of her head against Beatrice’s sternum. She fell asleep listening to Beatrice’s slow breathing and the slightly rapid beating of her heart.

It was uncomfortable, the sensation of her legs coming back. She squirmed. She wiggled her toes. She felt the power of the halo once again, coursing through her body. She almost forgot where she was until Beatrice stirred underneath her. Her face flushed deep red, and she felt like she was on fire.

She tilted her head upward, taking a few minutes to watch Beatrice sleep in the soft, hazy morning light. She pulled the blanket up more, not that it was doing anything to begin with. It was more for decoration, too thin to be of much use.

Instead, Ava settled into the warmth of Beatrice’s embrace.

I promise, Bea. I promise one day I’ll do something about this.

#my fic #avatrice #ava x beatrice #warrior nun #warrior nun season 2 #avatrice fanfic #warrior nun fanfic #ava silva #sister beatrice #avatrice fanfiction #warrior nun fanfiction

[autistickhunsam]

Ava’s shoulders wobble softly as she stands on the terrace. The sky is streaked in gold, bright pink and orange. Light blue and indigo follow close behind. The sunset is reflected on the wide expanse of water below, doubling the effect. It’s the most beautiful sunset she’s witnessed. At least since the last one she saw. 

The flowers twining the banister are their own splatter of color in their full bloom. The early evening breeze picks up their scent and swirls it up and into her nose. It’s like they’ve been waiting here just for her. Everything, before her and up until then, lining up so that she could stand in this very spot at this exact moment and experience this simple grandeur. 

There are no what ifs about Ava's previous existence in her new one. Her life is what it is, and while some of it may suck major ass, she takes all of this in fully.

“Ava,” a concerned voice says. Her steps are almost inaudible, but her voice grows closer. “Are you all right?”

Beatrice places a comforting hand on her arm. Ava, eyebrows knotted and a tear stained face, turns to her. Beatrice’s beautiful face is full of concern and a steely gentleness that makes Ava weak.

She smiles and nods rapidly in response. Breatrice’s face relaxes but the steely gentleness doesn't waver. She puts her whole self into everything she does. Like caring for Ava is her duty. And Ava supposes, in a way, that it is. “It’s just,” Ava explains, then sweeps her arm across the horizon, never taking her eyes off Beatrice. “So beautiful,” she finishes, no longer talking about the sunset.

This too, the things that Ava can and can’t read in Bea's face but she's sure are there, is another one of life’s grandeurs. And in her opinion, a more breathtaking one. 

They stare at each other for a moment. Beatrice’s eyes are steady on Ava’s open face before she turns to look at the fading sun. It is beautiful, even more so through Ava’s awe. When she turns back, a small smile spreads on her face, and Ava’s breath hitches in her throat. If God is real, she thinks, they exist in Bea's sunlit face.

Beatrice’s hand slides from Ava's arm down to her hand. “It is beautiful,” she says, echoing Ava’s meaning.

And Ava tucks that inside herself, like a life-giving halo.

#avatrice #warrior nun fanfiction #avatrice fanfiction #warrior nun #myfic #mayhaps a little cliche but fitting i think