Entangled desires. Leah Williamson x Alexia putellas x reader.
Part 1
“ Fuck me!” You semi yelled at your TV.
“Only if you beg me for it.” Said your girlfriend with a smirk on her face. You were both laying on the couch. She was laying on your lap reading a book, while you were watching the Arsenal vs Chelsea game. Chelsea have just broke through the backline and scored a goal. In their defense the goal was pretty incredible, but you hated that your team got scored against.
“ I would love for you to fuck me amor but not now, I am too busy “ you joked. “You have been stressed for about 50 minutes now. I think you need a release.” She said sarcastically, The book is now laying on her chest. “ Mi Reina, this game is so important for my sanity right now.” you respond. She didn't talk after that, she just turned on her side, her head still on your lap. She put the book aside and focused on the game.
The rest of the match was pretty exciting. There were some missed shots from both teams, a goal from Arsenal, some decent shot blocks from the Arsenal defense, and just overall a lot of tension. Alexia stood up from your lap by the time the final whistle blew. She was alert and satisfied. You were more than happy with Chelsea's defeat since you were a die hard Arsenal supporter. As a result, in celebration, you kissed your girlfriend. The kiss was soft and filled with passion. You then pushed Alexia on her back, straddled her lap and kissed her hard. You didn't want any space between you two. You were hungry for her, needy for her, all you wanted was her touch. The adrenaline from the game took over your body. Suddenly, it all went away and was replaced by tiredness. “ It's okay baby it happens.” She confronted you because you pulled out of the kiss and sighed loudly.
“ I am so sorry.” You apologized. “ Let's go cook dinner instead. Then we can finish later.” She added, a small smile on her face.
At the dinner table you sat opposite each other. You were both comfortable in the silence.
“ That arsenal defense was really good today.” She said, breaking the silence.
“Yeah, most of them are lionesses, so they are pretty good.” You answer.
“ Leah Williamson, the center back, is the captain of England right?”
“ She is the captain, she also captained the team today. She is pretty good.”
“ She was excellent today, made some pretty good deflections.”
“ And?”
“ What do you mean?.”
“ Mi Reina, tell me what you think.”
“ Well she is kind of attractive I guess. If you tell this to someone you won't like your punishment.”
“ Baby relax,I won't. I promise. Now let's go finish what we started after the game.”
“ What do you think about her?”
“ Leah ? Well I agree with you she is hot.”
—----------------
Tonight was one of the best nights of the year. The fifa best awards. This night was special because you were being awarded the best female player in the world which made you very proud of yourself. You were also proud of your girlfriend who made it into the best starting 11 in the world along with you and a few legends of the game.
You and Alexia got ready in the same room. You decided on an emerald green corseted dress that highlighted your chest and your brown hair. Alexia decided on an all black 3 piece suit paired with a red lip and her hair down.
The day leading to the ceremony had nothing out of the ordinary. You did your media duties, got ready, and left for the red carpet.
You and Alexia looked like a power couple, all the cameras were on you two, two of the most awarded and talented footballers. The ceremony was no different either. Kelley Smith presented you with your award and you thanked the most important people in your life in your speech. You talked to a few people but that was it. All the fun started at the after party.
While you were at the bar getting drinks your girlfriend was far from you talking to some people.
“Can I get two vodka sodas please?” You asked the bartender.
“Can you please make that tree?” Said a British voice from behind you. You turned around to find that the voice was Leah's.
“ Vodka soda is the athlete's best choice of drink right? ?“ she asked.
“ I guess so.” you respond.
“ I am Leah Williamson.” She added.
“ I know who you are. You are pretty recognizable.”
“ Not as much as the woman of the hour. Congrats on your award by the way. Spanish football is lucky to have you.”
You blushed at her words, that's when your drinks were ready. You wanted to talk to her more.
“ Why don't you join me and Alexia at our table?.” You asked hoping to get a yes
“Only for a little while I have my own people to tend to.” She responded.
You proceeded to guid Leah to your table. On your way there you passed alexia who said goodbye to the people she was with to join you too.
“ Ale this is Leah williamson. Leah, this is my lovely girlfriend Alexia.” you introduced the girls.
“ It's very nice to meet you alexia. We should have met a long time ago.” said Leah
“ I am glad we met too. How are you finding the night.” said Alexia. You knew your girlfriend well to know when she is nervous and right now she was clearly nervous, other people wouldn't spot it very well.
“ it's pretty boring actually. This is the most exciting thing that happened tonight.” responded Leah.
Your relationship with Alexia was common knowledge. However, Leah was flirting with the both of you for the better part of the hour and a half that Leah stayed with you. Throughout this time you talked about everything from football to your childhood. Several compliments and flirtatious attempts were made by all 3 of you. Leah’s phone was ringing for most of the time but she didn't answer. She then got a text saying that her teammates left and that she should go to the hotel because the party venue was almost empty. You didn't realise the time that passed, you were too immersed in the fun all of you were having. You were sitting on a couch, Alexia’s hand on your thighs occasionally caressing them, and Leah sat opposite you on a chair.
“ I can't believe they left without me.” she complained.
“ Well they did call you several times but you blew them off.” you responded.
“ but still how am i supposed to talk to them and miss out a second with you two.”
“ You can come with us. We are staying at the same hotel right?” suggested Alexia.
“ yeah but I don't want to intrude.”
“ nonsense, consider it an extension of this lovely night.” you added.
You then got out of the venue. You held Alexia’s hand while Leah walked to your other side.
The car ride was quiet. “ I would kill for a burger right now.” you whispered in your girlfriend’s ear because you were nuzzled in her neck. She then ushered for the driver to change direction to the nearest fast food chain.
“ one quick stop before we release you.” you apologized to leah running you hand on her thigh quickly.
“ No, not at all. I really want this to go on forever.” she responded.
The car stopped, you got your order, Leah and Alexia got a meal too after you provoked your puppy eyes.
You were now blissful on the hotel floor, and eating your burger with Leah Williamson and Alexia putellas. You were focused more on leah than on your burger.
“ shit i dont have my key card. I left it with Keira. God i am such a fucking idiot. ” she said after she finished.
“ Don't ever say that about yourself.” said Alexia who was quieter than usual.
“ what she means is it's fine you can stay here. it's too late to wake her up.” you corrected.
“ No, I can't do that .” she said frantically.
“ Yes you can and you will. It's too late to do anything. Plus we can hang out more. And we can put it to a vote and we both want you here.” said alexia before taking the last bite of her burger.
“ Alexia I can't. There is something. I just can't.” she said before heading towards the door.
Alexia got up and stopped her by her wrist. “ Look, it's alright, stay. Please. “ she said softly.
“ alexia almost never says please.” you added.
“ There is this unresolved tension in me. I can't hide it anymore.” she added, now looking at the floor.
Alexia lifted her head up by her chin, and at that moment we were all nervous. We all shared a look with each other, then looked at the floor, then at each other again. The silence was deafening. We all were thinking the same thing. It was just the matter of who starts.
564 notes
·
View notes
Excellent Sons: A Love Story in Three Acts by Larry Benjamin
Read time: 5 Days
Rating: 4/5
The quote: That first kiss within sight of our classmates changed everything. The surprised gasps of our classmates were like the sound of shackles falling. The snickers and giggles like the sound of a prison door creaking open. Their shocked looks like a match being struck in the dark. The popular narrative holds that being gay but not out is like living in a closet. I can tell you it isn’t. It’s more like living in a prison cell, or maybe a windowless, mirrorless box; you can’t see anyone, not even yourself, and no one can see you. Maybe the joy in that first public kiss was the joy of seeing and being seen. — Maximillian 'Max' Wong
Warnings: death, attempted murder, gun violence, school shooting, suicide (?), violence, religion as an excuse.
I can definitely see why Excellent Sons is an award winner. It is slightly unusual but romantic with Asian drama vibes, and no I don't say that just because of the primary protagonists' ethnicities there are some goings-on that are very drama-like (and I watch a lot of Asian drama). It shows familial love and dynamics (the good and the bad) and two different kinds of romantic love, the selfless and true and the selfish. I'm going to review as best I can but there will be spoilers for the first half of the book. Most of it will focus on Acts 1: Thunder and Lightening & 3: Into the Unknown, the story of Tristan and Max, there will be some writing on Act 2: The Adventures of Testa di Cazzo. My standard quote list will just become a giant jumble of thoughts I fear. Some warnings to keep in mind when looking into reading Excellent Sons... homophobia, death, attempted murder, gun violence I mean Jesus Grace wtf, school shooting, suicide (?), violence, religion as an excuse. Most of these are around Max and Tristan. If you can get past the potentially troubling themes I recommend this.
Excellent Sons is the story of Tristan James and Maximillian 'Max' Wong, we are introduced to them at 16 and 17 respectively. Tristan is half-American, half-Korean, his parents have a 30-year age gap, his father is almost absent and he is much closer to his mother. (He actually is more support for my sons of a single mothers have higher EQ, his father is that absent). John and Grace have something of an odd dynamic. But it's not until later in the book that we find out how odd and why. Max is the son of a single father after his mother died when he was so young he cannot remember her. Ethnically quarter Jamaican, three-quarters Chinese but raised in America. While he was raised by his father, his wife's sisters were there having an input too, Kaleisha, Tianara and Tashelle. Excellent Sons is a story about balancing yourself, your needs and parental/cultural expectation (in particular filial piety). The phrase excellent son/s is key when that is said to Tristan or Max it is a sign of respect, acceptance, welcome and love. Tristan was always his mother's excellent son until he met Max and started to figure out what he wanted in life. He was still an excellent son but that is not how Grace perceived it.
Max and Tristan utilise two tropes wrong side of the tracks and the sunshine and grump trope, a personal fave. The act is titled Thunder and Lightening to honour this. "I liked that all the nicknames recognized us as individuals but also acknowledged our partnership. And I suppose I should admit I rather liked Thunder and Lightning. I was thunder, they said, because I’m always scowling, dark and stormy. And Tristan is Lightning because he is all smiles and glittering light."(Max) Their other nickname was Bam Bam (Tristan) and Poe (Max) from a West Indian neighbour "To get the joke, you need to know Bam Bam is West Indian slang for your butt. Poe is slang for a chamber pot." (Max). Essentially these nicknames show one thing, you don't get one without the other and once they came out they were largely accepted at school and in Max's circle. They really aren't by Tristan's church-going community where he plays the organ. And certainly not by his best friend, Judy. Judy is A LOT she's a 16-17-year-old girl and acts like it. in love with her best friend, she is unwilling to accept that he doesn't want her back let alone his sexuality. There are moments the truth almost comes out.
Grace is furious with her sons relationship. She blames Max for corrupting Tristan, for making her son gay. After trying to break them up through Tristan, Max, John, and Max's parents in any way she can think of, when she gets fails and gets desperate she shoots Max. This causes the families to cope as best they can. They chose to keep Tristan and Max apart, John takes Trisan to Korea to bury Grace in her homeland, then enrols him in a school in Paris. Max moves school. Tristan and Max cannot let go of each other as much as everyone wishes they would find a new partner. Tristan meets Javier a promiscuous, fun-loving, guy about the same age but who has no parental figures at all. Javier is kind of adopted by John to the point where he calls John, Papa. The friendship between Javier is a joy to behold there is no crush or will they won't they or even a discussion between them about them being in a relationship. They just are. They are just gay friends who are closer to brothers. Javier is no threat to Max and that isn't his point, he replaces Judy in the best possible way. He has all the loyalty she should have had.
Honestly, this is just a beautiful and simple enough story of love and loyalty Max and Tristan are loveable, at least somewhat relatable and well thought out. They run on passion. Their first time together is unusual in the pouring rain (and nonexplicit bless the author that knows their limits, also they are underage). How the whole way they come back together is lovely, it suits them. They are older, wiser and just fall back together. All of it happens almost as a fluke or an act of fate. I do like the families, the growth among them and the love. Found families included. It all hits the perfect emotional tones.
Act 2: The Adventures of Testa di Cazzo is legitimately an erotic retelling of Pinocchio and a serious swerve into wtf wierdsville. Testa di Cazzo is our Pinocchio, rather than being a puppet, he's a dildo. He convinces his owner Joseph Collodi (aka the Geppetto character) to give him a body and life, look don't think about it, there is no logic here. Cazzo promises to be faithful to Joseph, what do you think grows when he isn't? Hint, it's not his nose 🍆. So I mentioned that we see two kinds of love in Excellent Sons. Well in Cazzo's story we are shown the side that leaves you alone broken and desperate for what could have been. In Cazzo's case twice with Gad and with Joseph. It's also a more adult story. And shows the sex work industry in its harsh but profitable light. The ending... that's just pain. He's all alone in the world. The only person who may have been his friend is dying or dead. But it is kinda a testament to love in its own unique way.
It is clearly marked as a separate, standalone story. Where the chapters of Acts 1 and 3, Max and Tristan's stories are simply numbered with Arabic numerals and given an indication of the narrator Act 2 has Roman numerals and subtitles. Some highlights from there include "A dildo, my friend, a dildo (Joseph gets advice from Cherry)", "Whole men are more trouble than they are worth (Joseph contemplates getting a companion)", "These were wild and stormy nights (Cazzo falls in with Rent Boys)" and "Cry me a fucking river (Cazzo returns to Joseph)". To add my favourites would put us into spoiler territory. While there are similarities in the writing style you know it is written by the same person, Cazzo has his own distinct voice, mostly because he's quite dim (Joseph wanted him for his member, so didn't really make sure he had brains) and comes across a bit out of his depth. But this, among other things, means there is definitely a clear humour here that isn't in Max and Tristan's intense story with some of its heavy-hitting emotional blows.
Ending this with a collection of thoughts and quotes, these are all out of order.
I played golf until I was nine, when I switched to tennis. If you’ve ever seen Rafael Nadal in tennis whites, you might understand my sudden infatuation with the sport. — (Tristan) What can I say he's a boy after my own heart.
He talked a blue streak. As we walked, he shared random facts and lame jokes; he commented on things we passed and made up entire life histories for anyone going by who caught his fancy. His nonsense soothed me like healing hands. His voice blew like a cool breeze over my burning flesh. His words, caressing fingers, touched and teased me. — (Max) There is something almost visceral in this moment. It is that peace with a person.
I loved riding my bike because it made me feel free, dangerous, as if I were soaring above the clouds, weightless. With Tristan seated behind me, his arms tight around my waist, I felt anchored, earthbound, safe. I found I no longer wanted to soar free. — (Max) This is such an appealing
Sure I’d misheard him, I was about to ask him to repeat what he’d said, when he suddenly leaned forward and pressed his lips against mine. I can’t say he kissed me; the touching of lips was too hesitant, too afraid of its own power to be called a kiss. — (Tristan) This is their first kiss, kind of. It is so soft and sweet. I particularly like this one or the fear of its own power. The kisses, quite a few of the romance milestones feel like they are written a bit from personal experience. I'm not entirely sure why.
Max handed me a motorcycle helmet. Once I put it on, he fastened the strap under my chin. He climbed on the motorcycle and, turning to me, said, “Hop on.”
“Where’s your helmet?”
“You’re wearing it.”
“But what about you?”
“I’ll be fine. My head is a lot harder than yours. Now get on.” — (Max and Tristan) Oh god. Danger Children (Manner of Death) vibes. Because yeah I can see a bit of Tristan in Sorn that story in your head thing. That and Max not so much.
Yesterday,” he said, “a five-year-old boy brought a loaded gun to school and discharged it. Someone could have been killed and no one cares. Do you think anyone—least of all me—cares anything about some nasty little word your pea-sized brain farted out to try and hurt me? Boy, get the fuck out of here! I’ve seen more fearsome creatures than you in my sweetest dreams.” — (Tristan) This to someone who called him a faggot and after one of the earliest distressing moments.
“What the hell prompted that? We weren’t even doing anything.”
“You realize gay is not an act of doing, it’s a state of being, right?” — (Tristan and Max) This after aforementioned faggot comment.
• “I understand how you’re feeling,” he said gently, “but I want you to remember this. You are both still alive. Where there is life, there is hope. If your relationship was meant to be—and before you ask, I believe it was—you will find each other again.” — (Neville Wong) Neville is one of the most supportive fathers I've read in a book like this probably ever. A chimney sweep by trade he goes out of his way to get information on safe sex for his son and provides him with the necessary protection. He then gives us lines like this. He's fully supportive and it is quite a thing to read.
“Standing up for my right to love Tristan means I have to do the thing I want more than anything not to have to do. This world—people like you—have forced me to grow up sooner than I may have otherwise. I had to become a man at seventeen to find and hold on to the love of my life, simply because he is a he, because we are both hes.
“Having people question our relationship, whisper about, and yes, laugh at us means I have to do hard, uncomfortable things, but I will do these hard, uncomfortable things every day until I don’t have to, to make sure I remain worthy of Tristan’s love.” — (Max) This to Grace. And damn is it a powerful moment. Usually, I would have used this as a quote for the book but those two are so much more important to me.
Nothing makes you grow up faster than death and fame. Now, just a few years into my second decade, I found myself hurtling, headlong and unsure, into adulthood. Into the unknown. — (Larry Benjamin) No the author doesn't self-insert. This is the quote attached to Act 3. But it isn't anywhere else. This is perfect for both Max and Tristan. Especially by the conclusion.
“Come in, come in,” I said. “Don’t mind Sister Mary Catherine here. Her first time out of the convent and this happens.” — (Max - To a bellhop) What can I say I laughed.
“I see you’re still wearing black.”
“Hey,” he said, “I wear navy blue now, too.”
“What else has changed about you, Max?”
“Everything. Nothing.”
“I want to know everything.” — (Tristan and Max) I feel this in my Melbournian soul. Give me all the black. I also love the
Music is romance and love and passion and endless possibility; I’d had enough of all four. Math is fixed, predictable; there can only be one answer to every problem. — (Tristan) For someone with a passionate soul this makes me sad. This is one of those few books that I have post canon thoughts on. I want them to be happy. I want Max to make his musical, I want Tristan to go back to making music. I want him to go back to being creative again.
He was leading. He was definitely leading. But if he was Fred Astaire, I was Ginger Rogers, matching him step for step, pleasure given for pleasure extracted, but doing it backwards and in heels. — (Tristan) I don't know why I like this quote so much. It suits them and their harmony, balance.
Did other generations—did my parents—worry about death and destruction when they attended school each day? I wondered idly. My thoughts, as morbid as they were, had at least kept me from worrying about Max. — (Tristan) & I understood their anxiety because it was mine, too. The drills had never bothered me before. Before Tristan. Now I had Tristan in my life, it was different. Everything was different. — (Max) These dual quotes are from an active shooter drill. I like the thoughts. Max's is so passionate, a sign of how fast he is falling for Tristan. Tristan's made me stop and think. His Father who is around 60 may have dealt with a different set of drills, the cold war nuclear bombs. But other than that no not really not to the extent millennials and gen Z have. That constant threat of a shooter, the near expectation that it will at some point happen during your schooling.
Nothing in Excellent Sons is meaningless. Basically, everything is relevant on some level later in the book. I think it might be a book worth rereading to see exactly how blindingly obvious everything is, and how much I missed.
There is so much queer supporting queer here. But the moment on the tram, the ice cream truck and Mrs C. It's all queer supporting queer.
There was a moment when Max woke up and finds out about everything that had happened all I wanted to do then was weep for him For all that had happened to him, all he had lost.
The relationship between Salt and John is done so well. There is grey there. We are definitely lead to believe something but it could have been unrequited.
Tristan's house is house p*rn. It's stunning and I'm want to see it as the author did, as a visualisation of it.
A recommendation if you enjoy Excellent Sons. There are echoes of this in Daryl Banner's When I See You Again. While this only works in two time frames, Banner's follows one couple, Beau and Caleb through their whole life from 5 to 40 and beyond. I couldn't help thinking about the two together when I finished.
One of the questions that is asked by Larry Benjamin (through Max) is “So many people, all trying to do the right thing for the wrong reasons. I wonder—if you are coming from a good place but make bad decisions, does it still count against you? Making a bad decision for the right reason?”
“I don’t know.” (Max and Tristan). I've included Tristan's response because while we see it from their perspective, are somewhat emotionally involved in their relationship and want their happiness together look at it from the parents' perspectives. After everything that is happened, everything Max and Tristan have been through at their ages (17 and 18 respectively) isn't everything going to be better if they aren't forced to be reminded of that trauma, not necessarily by each other, but by the whispers? Okay and by each other. And who finds the only person they'll ever love at 16 and 17? Isn't it better to have these joyful memories with this bitter end than for the relationship to blow up and have it all be for naught? It does feel manipulative but they really did just want the best for their sons. Personally, I think the answer to Benjamin/Max's question is Tristan's I don't know.
0 notes