#Discord made me sad.

[stromuprisahat]

On Darkling's death in Ruin and Rising

How long does whole TGT last? A year? Two?

It starts with the Darkling desperate, Ravka in shambles, position of Grisha unsustainable. Why else would he put all his money on a girl he barely knows? A girl, who's never interested in anything around her. A girl, who's more than willing to jump ship as soon as an opportunity arises?!

He gambles, miscalculates, survives certain death by ripping away parts of his being, is betrayed again (and again)... Takes the position he needs to be able to direct his people out of the shitstorm they're in, all the while being generally distrusted or outright hated.

He's losing supporters left and right. Death, desertion, stupid fucking religious cult of Effortless Saint... His abusive mother- his sole lifelong companion (she made sure of that)- commits pretty performative suicide right in front of him. The final fuck you, the very last wound she could inflict.

He cracks again and again, always keeps going.

But in the Fold? Centuries of planning, loss, suffering and it's all been for NOTHING. His hands are empty, the foolish hope for company- NOT EVEN LOVE!- gone. There's nothing left. Not for him, not for his people. He gives up at last.

As @darkestelemental616 said,

TGT is a tragedy following Aleksander's slow descent into madness.

All the worse when you realize how much he overcame before, and how little did Alina know or understand. It would hit differently if his doom proved to be some decades old nemesis, or someone, who'd destroy him for some higher goal, not just "The Darkling evil and I want to be left alone.".

“In this moment he was just a boy -  a boy, who wanted to make the world a place to live without fear.”

Even in his death, LB wanted us to see him as powerful (and power hungry), no matter how powerless he's actually been.

#Grishaverse #grishanalyticritical #The Darkling #The Cult of the Starless Saint #Cult of the Starless Saint #Ruin and Rising #Alina Starkov #Darklina #R&R Chapter 17 #Grisha trilogy #Ravka #Grisha #V #anti Leigh Bardugo #anti Baghra #not crying #Discord made me sad. #He was powerless to save Ravka. #He was powerless to make muggles not hate Grisha. #He was powerless to stop his mother's death. #He was powerless to stop Alina's lobotomy #or get her to care.

[wytchsbrew]

"Who do you think I could have been?" Wolfwood asked, softly, in the glow of the diffused light from their bedroom lamp. He was pressed against the side of Vash's body beneath a haphazard blanket barely covering either of them.

Vash was stroking his hair, carefully, threading through the messy mop of black hair now speckled with silver threads. He found it endearing, sexy even, but the sight of the glittering hairs sometimes brought Nicholas to this place in the lockbox of his brain.

The place where he started thinking way too much.

Nicholas glanced up at him. "Y' know, if things were… different."

The unsaid words hung in the air between them like a storm cloud, and Vash heard them all. "Who do you think I could have been, if I'd had different opportunities? If I hadn't been experimented on? If I'd had my own free will?"

Vash smiled down at the gaze peering up at him, and bit back the bitter taste in his mouth; this subject always made him sad. If things were different, they'd never have met, as selfish as that sounded, and he couldn't imagine his life without Nicholas now, but… This meant something to his lover, to his soulmate, to his best friend.

"I think you could have been someone who changed the entire world," Vash answered. "Someone who solved every problem on Gunsmoke, someone who's name would be known across the lands! Nicholas D. Wolfwood! Savior of the planet!!!!!"

Dramatically, he spread his hand out into the air and painted it across in an arch, as if hanging Nicholas's name in lights above their creaky bed. Painting him as a hero.

A spark of light flitted across Nicholas's solemn gaze, and Vash leaped on it. He rolled sideways, draping his long body across Wolfwood's like a security blanket and pressed his chin atop his muscled chest.

"Unfortunately, though, my big, brave Wolfwood, you're stuck being my savior instead."

Wolfwood pressed a hand against the center of Vash's back, mouth perking into a half smile.

"That means I did save the entire world, then," Wolfwood whispered. "My entire world."

#trigun #vashwood #woodvash #vw #i just made myself so fucking sad writing this #this started in discord #and i made it so much worse on here #help me

[secretmellowblog]

You know how Nick/Gatsby and Holmes/Watson and Enjolras/Grantaire are super popular gay classic lit ships? I’m genuinely surprised there’s not a slash-shipping community around Sydney Carton and Charles Darnay from a Tale of Two Cities…like. I get the reason Darnay/Carton isn’t popular is because no one cares about A Tale of Two Cities but their relationship is so bizarrely homoerotic for literally no reason! It’s like Built to be some Dark Academia tumblr ship! I think Carton/Darnay should be in the tumblr gay classic lit canon, repping Dickens and the way Dickens’ misogynistic inability to write convincing heterosexual relationships results in his characters seeming extremely gay.

I could write an entire essay on why A Tale of Two Cities makes more sense if you ignore Dickens’ intent and read Carton as gay (with quotes supporting my point) but like. Carton insists he’s in love with Darnay’s wife Lucie but spends much more of his page-time talking to/flirting with Darnay (to the point where he’s never had an on page conversation with Lucie until he “confesses his love” to her in a scene where he also immediately rejects himself for her, and insists that their relationship would be Impossible for Reasons and that his heart isn’t Capable of feeling things the way it should, as if he’s chosen to convince himself he’s in love with her because she’s unattainable and he will never have to be in a relationship with her.) Darnay and Carton have all these tense charged snarky interactions that feel like fanfic. Darnay’s thing with Lucie is pretty bland but there’s this huge emphasis on the fact that he and Carton are “counterparts.” Whenever Dickens tries to write Carton as being sad that Lucie loves another man it generally comes across as Carton being jealous of Lucie, because he’s almost never had a full conversation with Lucie and spends most of his time instead having these very sad clingy desperate pathetic conversations with the men who love her. Carton has a weird homoerotic thing going on with his jock law partner Stryver, who he sacrifices everything for and spends all his time with and lets invade his personal space/walk all over him for reasons he refuses to explain (all while Stryver repeatedly mocks Carton for being incapable of falling in love with women). Carton ultimately sacrifices his life for Darnay by forcibly taking off Darnay’s clothes and disguising himself as him….like?

One of their first interactions is Carton heroically saving Darnay’s life, then drunkenly calling himself Darnay’s “counterpart” and asking him on a date.

Like.

Hm.

This feels like the banter you’d find in an Enjolras/Grantaire fanfic:

Fellas is it gay to

But yeah! The main thing people remember about A Tale of Two Cities are the cool peasant women revolutionaries, who Dickens is trying to portray as villains but who are actually the best characters in the book. And if I’m going to be mean to my high school self (who was obsessed with ATOTC for some reason) I’d say that the central melodrama between Carton/Darnay/Lucie is a weakness of the novel because Carton’s arc has nothing to do with the political French Revolution stuff, so his sacrifice feels thematically disconnected from all the book’s attempts at political commentary. HOWEVER. I think it works better if it’s gay.Also the Vengeance and Madame Defarge are gay, but people aren’t ready for that conversation!

So yee!! people on tumblr love ships that are like “hot goody-two-shoes classic lit boy in a suit x hot snarky classic lit sadboi in a suit”, but so few ppl remember Carton and Darnay, who were repping that all the way back in the 1790s 😔😔😔😔😔

#posts made for a max audience of 2 people #ALSO Sydney Carton is who people want Grantaire to be. he’s fanon Grantaire #but that’s another post #A Tale of two cities #Sydney carton #Charles Darnay #carton x Darnay #I was talking on discord about this the other day but. YEE #anyway carton was my first poor little meow meow #he did nothing wrong #if high school me was on tumblr I would’ve written so many posts about him being my poor blorbo #he’s just a very sad wet pathetic creature

[lucyvaleheart]

.

#supposed to log good things #most of day was negative feelings and sadness #then. i remember feeling good #and then. tthe good went away #rreplaxed with the usual self doubt and loathing #the feelings of undesirability #the wish that i was. attractive in any way to anyone close to me that anyone wanted to. touch me #that i wasn't horrifically gross and disgusting #do the people who hold me do it out of pity? am i really so awful #pictures get a lot of praise #sometimes #less so lately #maybe the novelty of my personality has worn off #maybe seeing how broken i am #such a shambling wailing mess of a girl #....has made people realize how ugly i am #i don't know. its hard to care most nights #I'm supposed to feel better in the mornings #i don't usually #I used to #now i just feel..... dead inside #like a walking corpse #some part of me wants to make that reality #sigh. #anyway. #im sorry you had to read this whoever you are that's made it this far #it's a cry for help but my discord status says don't message me so it's. probably not gonna get much lol #.....i guess uh. if you've read this far and do want to say something you can take this tag in particular as a one time pass to do so #....i make no guarentees I'll respond but i will guarentee that i won't kill myself. at least not tonight or even any time this week

[caluski]

i always say i need a break from socmedia and whatnot but then i get overwhelmingly lonely and sad and desperate. i need to be around people so bad. i need to be held so fucking bad, i wanna have someone to talk to whenever i want, without feeling like a burden... is that real? does that ever happen?

#i was talking to /kind of/ a friend recently saying i am so excited to have finally a laptop where i can stream movies with friends thru #discord and i was like i would love to do that again with you! and she kind of just ignored it... god it made me so fucking sad LOL #i thought we were having fun back then... i thought it was nice... i thought it was a good time... #but you know its like. well its okay. its been a while and its not like we remained close #but god i feel so lonely! i wanted this year to be different... can i be wanted! can i be desired! please #pogaduchy

[sleep-nurse]

another thing i also realised recently i've been getting impostor syndrome a lot. and i haven't been getting it in years. i look at my followers on my main and i'm like. is this really me? do i deserve all of this support? is this art really mine? why am i getting this many notes? do i really deserve it

#vent #i don't know what's wrong with me #i get sad when i don't get many notes or support but then when i end up getting it #or getting around 100 notes #i really start questioning if i deserve it #if that's really me who drew that #i'm still way too used to being a nobody #somebody who had no place to share their stuff #if not a measly discord server from a manipulative abuser AND groomer #where no one gave a single shit about what i liked nor what i made #if not a few people; whom one of them is my bestie now #idk. i think i need a rest

[rohirric-hunter]

Dude, go away, you're literally SO obsessed with me

#lotro #i made this joke in the sarc discord but @pursuer-of-hope said that he must have sworn a vow of personal enmity against leonys #and i said elves get enmity of the orcs #humans get enmity of the wargs #beornings get enmity of the goblins #gertheryg get enmity of the leonys #hes not making much progress on his deed ive never died to him #the rogmul has got me a couple of times and amarthiel got me once #but he never has #sad

[simcardiac-arrested]

thinkign about vanilla rw pebbles characterization againe

#heeeeeeeelp . help meeeeeeeeeeeee #sad robots in my brain #not to say the downpour one is bad or i don't like it. the thing is just that to me pebbles' original character was more subtle #i enjoyed reading the subtext behind his lines and analyzing how he says one thing but does the other #downpour pebbles seems much more open and straightforward. which makes sense considering the situations he gets himself in #oh dude i just remembered how i used to argue with people in the official rw discord over vanilla pebbles' characterization #and like the people who said downpour pebbles was fanficcore and they made him nice or whatever. Like first of all he was nice the whole #time. you're just mad #anyways everyday i wake up and think of the line where pebble says he's become more interested in simple little everyday things #jus kill me. they should stop makinmg characters #crammerposting

[c1nn4-bunny]

Looking at my old Wheatley fan art (mostly from 2020—2022) and like.

Nothing will ever be as funny as top text "AAAAAA" bottom text "AAAAAA" to me. He's scared and needs to be picked up immediately.

#I actually really like my old art... up to a certain point anyway— #like if it were somehow possible to just have all of those up here able to view I would. #theyre kinda just sitting in my archiving discord server though #i made it for my friends to share stuff about fandoms they like and have fun #but uh #none of my friends are ever active in there so it just feels like me talking to myself in there... #... [cough] ANYWAY I'M NOT SAD ABOUT MY LACK OF PEOPLE TO SOCIALISE WITH AT ALL HAHAH #I wanna redraw some of these st some point :< #c1nn4bunny.txt

[thelivingsin]

try not to do any activity on discord other than staying invisible and focus on your own mental health in 3, 2, 1, go! (has started since morning)

seriously though.

i miss those two, i wish i was able to say hi in the server but mentally and emotionally i'm not doing well. sorry guys :(

#guys pls remember i love you all. i love these THREE (other one isn't on discord sad) #i'm not used to being unavailable to literally anyone i know so like. hi i hope you understand why i'm more active on tumblr/fb than dc rn #especially with the stuff i said yesterday???? i'm really SORRY YOU HAD TO CARRY MY EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE AND SHIT #i know i said we have to separate personal stuff from work because it makes me uncomfortable myself but here we are oh shit oh fuck #i guess i am baby 😓😓😓 #i don't wanna be babied anymore 😓 i dont feel like im even growing #please help #tldr something happened at school today. that's why i'm here venting #fr something made me so uncomfortable it dropped my mood. i'm so sorry. i hope i get better tomorrow :(((( #missing entry #the institute

[galactic-pirates]

#librarians spoilers #and in news I was not expecting to see today - or ever #thank you Librarians discord for letting me know #WOW! I mean I am WOW speechless to be honest #I rewatch the Librarians constantly so the concept of any kind of new material is just OMG #aaaand time to start speculating as to when in time our time travelling librarian has come from #I haven’t been so pumped for a show announcement since Leverage Redemption or Strange New Worlds (whichever came last) #interestingly it was those two shows that made me forgive them for cancelling the Librarians at all as I was so sad about that #I know the OG cast is busy and I wish them all the success but I hope at least one of them can cameo #if not or hopefully as well some references dropped sometimes too for the continuity I don’t need much to be super happy #ahhhhh so excited #Librarians: the next chapter

[toasteaa]

Honestly? Been feeling a little lonely today ngl

#vent.tea #I didn't want to say anything about this tbh because everything has been mostly normal but #It's nothing on here and really all irl stuff because my fiancè and I were supposed to be hanging out since I was busy yesterday #And we started hanging out but then he got a text and got on his computer for something and kinda just left me alone for an hour or so #and I was trying to not be upset over it because I know he wanted to work on programming but it was the fact that we were hanging out #and he just hardlocked on his programming and then came back out with a headache. #And this happens so often nowadays and he feels bad afterwards but I never want to pull him away from it #because then he'll just be on discord talking about programming with his friends the whole time we're hanging out. #And I get it. There are times me and my friends spend all day talking but he's made comments about me being on my phone #so I thought. You know. He'd try a little harder to not get pulled into it when we promised we'd hang out together. #Ugh I'm sorry. I normally don't talk about this kind of stuff and I never like bringing my irl sad emotions onto this blog but. #I don't know. Just that gross lonely feeling that's kinda settled on me. #I'll be okay eventually. Convince myself to draw or write something. That does usually cheer me up tbh. #I'll delete this later. Just needed an outlet to get these feelings out.

[sludgeguzzler]

man. i changed so much these past years

#im different from last years me who was different from 2021 me who was different from 2020 me and so on and so forth #it feels kinda weird thinking about it bc i went through *so much stuff* #all of it in just the past 4 years... insane #i found out i was trans. i went on lockdown. i started posting my art online. i made online friends. #i went through three different relationships. every single one of them changed me forever. #i started writing. i finished middle school. i read homestuck. i used discord everyday for 2 years. #i found my personal sense of style. i started going tk school again. i made friends irl. i lost all the online friends i had. #(thay wasnt bc of any scandal i just left the friendgroup and then started to slowly interact more with ppl irl #whi sorta made my online interactions dwindle especially one-on-one interactions #i think i feel better like this go be honest with you. the connections feel stronger and i feel closer to the friends ive made #not saying i dont like the people i know and befriended here just saying that not being chronically online anymore really changed how i #go through with internet interactions) #damn. really feeling the passage of time now. #also this is not a sad reminiscent post im *really* glad im in the place i am in life right now #i have a qpp i have an irl friendgrouo that i feel 100% comfortable with for the first time in my life im doing ok at school #i have a vision for my future my relationship with my parents is sooo much better #idk man. compare that with 14 year old me eating alone at school bc i was too scared to talk with the other people on my class and like. #yeah man. im doing a lot better #i DO have to update my art blog though. its been too long sincd i posted anything #talk

[jackalhadrurusluvr]

it is kind of fun to post the occasional fanart and go “wow. look at the life i could have”

#this sounds like i’m sad about it but im not #i love my ocs x100000000 more then i love interactions #i’ve been a fanartist before and (shrug) it’s definitely much easier to grow but also #you get a bunch of Insecurity Issues if you start before you’ve made your mentality more stable #like of course i do love getting appreciation and stuff very much so #but now if my post gets only like a like or two (shrug) #who cares! i liked what i made it came out of Me #the only downside is that my ass is not getting comms from people who do not Know me As A Person/Friend #which is…….. alright. i’m very happy that people i’ve met want to support me #but i def don’t have enough in me to join a bunch of discords and make a bunch of friends #plus i wouldn’t wanna make friends for Gaining Things i like having friends for having friends tyvm

[steven-cartoons]

mutuals...my beloved mutuals....I see you in my activities liking and rbing my posts but I don't see any of y'all in my inbox or in my dms❗️❗️

if you were waiting for a sign to say hi this is it ❗️❗️❗️

I think y'all are all way cooler than me and I will not reach out first </3

#my fellow bitches w social anxiety are welcome to rb this but i triple dog dare you to actually reach out and talk to someone today!! #i made my first discord server recently and it's been genuinely wonderful getting to chat with so many new people #it's been making me realize how much i want to talk to the people ive been mutuals with for like years now!! #you guys all seem so nice! and i never reach out to any of you !! and thats so sad ! #im hyping myself up here if it wasnt obvious #anyways be my friend guys i promise im nice!! im just super cringe!!! guys!!!! #my post #ok to rb

[furies-inthe-mirror]

creatures [2 of them]

to the left is my Cheddar Zubat™ and the right is my starter, a Cotton Candy Mareep™. <3

#my art #artists on tumblr #pokemon #heartcatch Pokemon #god. ik it's a discord only thinf but is there a fuckign tag for it on tumblr. #autosuggested tags tell me No. Bfbdhajsj whatever #WE RLLY SHOULDA MADE OUR MAREEP A FAIRY TYPE ALSO AND I REGRET IT BUT WHATEVER #didn't kno starters could be different types when we submitted it. SAD! FHJDNFFNDN #the zubat is a fairy type tho. that's fun