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#also this is not a sad reminiscent post im *really* glad im in the place i am in life right now
sludgeguzzler · 8 months
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man. i changed so much these past years
#im different from last years me who was different from 2021 me who was different from 2020 me and so on and so forth#it feels kinda weird thinking about it bc i went through *so much stuff*#all of it in just the past 4 years... insane#i found out i was trans. i went on lockdown. i started posting my art online. i made online friends.#i went through three different relationships. every single one of them changed me forever.#i started writing. i finished middle school. i read homestuck. i used discord everyday for 2 years.#i found my personal sense of style. i started going tk school again. i made friends irl. i lost all the online friends i had.#(thay wasnt bc of any scandal i just left the friendgroup and then started to slowly interact more with ppl irl#whi sorta made my online interactions dwindle especially one-on-one interactions#i think i feel better like this go be honest with you. the connections feel stronger and i feel closer to the friends ive made#not saying i dont like the people i know and befriended here just saying that not being chronically online anymore really changed how i#go through with internet interactions)#damn. really feeling the passage of time now.#also this is not a sad reminiscent post im *really* glad im in the place i am in life right now#i have a qpp i have an irl friendgrouo that i feel 100% comfortable with for the first time in my life im doing ok at school#i have a vision for my future my relationship with my parents is sooo much better#idk man. compare that with 14 year old me eating alone at school bc i was too scared to talk with the other people on my class and like.#yeah man. im doing a lot better#i DO have to update my art blog though. its been too long sincd i posted anything#talk
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jaskier’s breakup album
alright full disclosure i probably went into way more detail than i needed to. but jaskiers a dramatic little shit and therefore so am i. but this album slowly became my baby and I've been listening to it for the last 2 weeks while I've been doing homework and its a good sad bop. these are just my opinions, but i think it would be cool to see what other people think (esp because im fairly new to this fandom). also this post is really long. sorry about that. 
so. we all know jaskier is a bard. he traipses around writing songs about whatever fling he's having or about his witcher. netflix canon makes it pretty clear that geralt is one of jaskiers muses (and probably one of his more reliable ones given what we know about jaskiers dating history). jaskier is also very, very dramatic (as I'm sure everyone knows cause he's the damn comic relief that show desperately needs). in particular though the scene at the beginning of 1x05 where geralt is djinn hunting and jaskier stumbles upon him, drunk, singing off key, and rambles about how "the countess de stael, my muse and beauty of this world, has left me. again. rather coldly and unexpectedly, i might add. i fear i shall die a broken hearted man” and jaskier is clearly half muttering some sad attempt at a breakup song he's trying to write at the beginning of the episode so the question is, wouldn't he do the same thing post mountain scream down with geralt?
the answer is of course, yes he would because jaskier is nothing if not a dramatic little shit. and i am proposing that he writes not only one but an entire album (or set if this is canon era, but if this is canon i think he would keep a great many of these songs to himself, only playing a few select ones with the hopes that someday geralt will hear one and realize how badly he fucked up) of break songs and lamentations about geralt, because say all you want about what their relationship is, but one does not simply go traipsing around the entire continent with someone for 20 years and not grow close to them in some way shape or form (and the show makes it clear that geralt is at least one of jaskiers close friends so). now what is on this breakup album? well I'm glad you asked.
i peg jaskiers music (modern or canon honestly) for this album as being a combination of taylor swift’s folklore/evermore albums and james arthur and ill explain why. 
taylor swifts folklore/evermore albums have this almost ethereal, floaty, reminiscent, indie vibes. there are many metaphors, recurring themes and its overall kinda dramatic at points which i feel is exactly what jaskier would be doing right now (it also just kinda gives me canon era vibes, idk). but james arthurs music is much more emotionally intense which i think is definitely in character for jaskier at this point because he strikes me as someone who copes with things through his music. both artists do the sings through story telling in an almost monologue manner which goes along with that kinda bardic music and all that. i also think that jaskier would want geralt to know that these songs are about him because hes dramatic like that (kinda like how taylor swift writes her stuff). anyway here's what i think would be on his breakup album: 
heres a link to the playlist
1. the lakes - taylor swift 2. from me to you i hate everybody - james arthur 3. maybe - james arthur 4. sad eyes - james arthur 5. hoax - taylor swift 6. naked - james arthur 7. right where you left me - taylor swift 8. all too well - taylor swift 9. impossible - james arthur 10. exile - taylor swift 11. illicit affairs -taylor swift 12. safe inside - james arthur 13. quite miss home -james arthur 14. my tears ricochet  -taylor swift 15. phoenix - james arthur 16. this is me trying - taylor swift  17. happiness - taylor swift 18. death by a thousand cuts - taylor swift 19. empty space - james arthur 20. coney island - taylor swift 21. new years day - taylor swift 22. the 1 -taylow swift
so theres 22 songs which im sure jaskier would do on purpose cause hes a dramatic little shit ( “one song for every year i wasted on you” or something of that sort). jaskier being a dramatic little shit is going to be a recurring theme. some of them work better for modern era than canon era but as a whole this can be interpreted as either romantic or platonic. anyway lets unpack. 
1. the lakes by taylor swift (more canon era interpretation)
this song is the bonus and final track off of folklore. the song is actually about how she wants to go live in seclusion with her boyfriend out of the public eye but that is not what it means in this interpretation. i think that this song is about how jaskier feels as though his career as a bard is tainted now because he spent so many years singing geralts praises and there is no way he will be able to escape that part of his life because undoubtedly hes going to get requests for toss a coin and others he wrote about geralt and people will probably know him as “the witchers bard”. so this song is him talking about how he wants to run away and live out his life in seclusion because geralt took from him one of the only happinesses in his life. 
Take me to the lakes, where all the poets went to die I don't belong, and my beloved, neither do you Those Windermere peaks look like a perfect place to cry I'm settin' off, but not without my muse 
the line “i dont belong and my beloved neither do you” references the fact that jaskier feels like an outcast now that he’s spent years traveling around with a witcher, notoriously outcasts from society, so he feels that he doesnt belong anymore either.
I want auroras and sad prose I want to watch wisteria grow Right over my bare feet 'Cause I haven't moved in years And I want you right here
the second stanza references his idealization of living out his life in solitude, with nature, where no one can judge him (and geralt cant yell at him). 
jasper would have started this album with that song because it states his intentions: he feels as though he’s done with singing. it could also refer to him leaving the public eye (in modern era) to write this album.
2. from me to you i hate everybody by james arthur (more canon era interpretation) 
songs 2-4 on jaskiers album are ones that he wrote at various points while he and geralt were still together/best friends/etc. these three songs establish what the relationship was like before everything went downhill, but they are kind of melancholy, like looking back on a past love (which is what jaskier is doing). this one jaskier wrote about when they met. geralt would have heard him play it before and he would have known that this song was about him (he probably also secretly liked it and jaskier putting it on his album would have been like a slap in the face because it wasn't one that he had shared with other people, thinking it to be too personal). if this album had been released in modern era, jaskier would have released this song as a single to get geralts attention. he would have definitely wanted geralt to know that this album was about him. 
I used to come here on my own and drink So I didn't have to think or hear the whispering I stand with people telling lies again In suits and ties again and I just need a friend
they meet in the tavern and its clear that jaskier is Not having a good time and really just needs a friend, hence why he decides to go talk to geralt.
You walked into the room and cut the atmosphere like a knife, alright Sobering mind 'cause up to now, I've just been wasting my time, ooh yeah
the “wasting my time” part is of particular interest because it clearly articulates that jaskier feels as though adventuring around with geralt was the best part of his life and before that he'd just been a bard with debatable songs. the song as a whole makes it sound like geralt was jaskiers lifeline.
3. maybe by james arthur (modern or canon era works)
this song, while geralt would know immediately it was about him, was not one jaskier ever shared with geralt. it would have been written a few years after he and geralt had met initially. the reason that jaskier never shared it was because it talks about destiny and geralt made it Very Clear that he does not want to fuck with destiny.
I don't know what's going on Where you came from and why you took so long All I know is that I feel it Like it's the realest thing, I mean it Something changed when I saw you Oh, my eyes can't lie You said, "They're so damn blue And I love how you're so forward Is it too soon to say I'm falling?"
this would have been what young jaskier felt over the course of a few years after traveling around (or befriending if this is modern). There was probably a slip up somewhere, or jaskier just thought that he got really good at interpreting geralts grunts and the line about the eyes is what he hoped/imagined/thought geralt was saying to him in return. 
So maybe Maybe we were always meant to meet Like this was somehow destiny Like you already know Your heart will never be broken by me So is it crazy For you to tell your friends to go on home? So we can be here all alone Fall in love tonight And spend the rest of our lives as one
jaskier probably thinks that destiny is some wildly romantic thing hence why he compares them meeting to destiny. the line about heart break would have also hit especially hard after the mountain scene. also i think its pretty clear that jaskier wants to spend as much of his life traipsing around with geralt in the show (modern era wouldn't have been any different), hence wanting to spend the rest of his life with geralt. 
Oh, is it too crazy For you to tell your brothers about me? They told me they'll protect you But I'll look them in the eye Tell them you and I will be as one
this is the part that sells it for me. i think that geralt lambert and eskel would all be very close (admittedly i havent read the books but i kinda get that vibe from the fandom so). this part about geralt telling his bothers about jaskier and then jaskier probably meeting them would have been an Important Moment. 
4. sad eyes by james arthur (modern or canon works) 
aright so im not sure if geralt has heard this one before. i can see it going both ways. its a possibility that jaskier wrote it at some point and then would kinda sing it softly when hes patching geralt up after a particularly rough hunt so its one of those where like geralts not quite sure what the song is but then he hears it on this album (cause say this was modern era and jaskier actually did release this album geralt would totally buy it after a few weeks and then realize how badly he'd actually fucked up) and is like shit thats what he was singing all along?? but anyway this one is essentially about how jaskier thinks geralt puts too much pressure on himself and all that stuff
You wear the burden World on your shoulders, babe So let me hold the weight I know you're hurting Deep as the coldest pain But this is the order sayin'
essentially jaskier can see through geralts bs and hes calling him out on it and wants him to just take care of himself for once (see: the scene in 1x05 when geralt says he cant sleep) 
5. hoax by taylor swift (canon or modern works)
so this song begins the plethora of break up songs that jaskier wrote about geralt. this one would have been written some time after the incident, after jaskier has some time to reflect on the whole thing. i know that taylor wrote this  song about enduring a toxic relationship, which kind of works if you think about the way that geralts treated jaskier and how jaskier interpreted it (but im not implying that their relationship was toxic or abusive or anything) 
My best laid plan Your sleight of hand My barren land I am ash from your fire
jaskiers plan was to reinvent geralts image and geralt did not think that it was worth it. jaskier is just sorta his side kick (who gets him into trouble, as geralt points out) and geralt kicks him aside like he doesnt mean anything to him (like ash from a fire
Stood on the cliffside Screaming "Give me a reason" Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in Don't want no other shade of blue But you No other sadness in the world would do
this is a little more literal with the screaming on the cliffside. jaskier wanted a reason to stay and geralt didnt want him to. jaskier knows that witchers dont feel emotions (or at least not like humans do) so hes been tricking himself into believing that geralt actually liked having him around, knowing that it was probably going to blow up in his face at some point. but he doesnt quite regret it, and doesnt want to be sad over anyone else.
6. naked by james arthur (modern or canon works)
this kind of goes along with hoax, jaskier probably wrote them around the same time. he’s admitting in this song that he would be willing to try to work it out with geralt, but geralt needs to change first (needs to actually communicate and let him in and all that stuff). 
'Cause here I am, I'm givin' all I can But all you ever do is mess it up Yeah, I'm right here, I'm tryin' to make it clear That getting half of you just ain't enough
hes quoting geralts words back at him here ( “all you ever do is mess it up” is pretty similar to the line about shoveling shit), saying that all hes ever tried to do is be good and kind to geralt, but geralt hasn't really done the same in return and while jaskier may have dragged him into some things, geralt also needs to take responsibility for what hes done as well. 
7. right where you left me (modern or canon works)
this starts the Real Sad Boy Hours songs. this would refer to how he felt pretty much right after, not knowing what to do because geralt had been so much a part of his life for so long: 
Help, I'm still at the restaurant Still sitting in a corner I haunt Cross-legged in the dim light They say, "What a sad sight" I, I swear you could hear a hair pin drop Right when I felt the moment stop Glass shattered on the white cloth Everybody moved on, I, I stayed there Dust collected on my pinned-up hair They expected me to find somewhere Some perspective, but I sat and stared
this is kind of the processing of the event. and also the moment on the album where the audience would realize that this relationship that he's been telling about until now definitely ended. this song isn't super super emotional, its more a jumble of thoughts cause he didnt know what to feel after the breakup happened. although he didnt write it right after the break up, it was written much after as a looking back.
8. all too well by taylor swift (modern or canon era works)
(the link to this one is from a live performance because i like the emotion in this one better) so this song is not off of folklore (its off of red) but its such a powerful, painful breakup song that i had to include it in the lineup because it seems like something that jaskier would have written very very soon after the incident. the memories especially that she touches on in the song (driving upstate, dancing in the fridge light, looking at the photo album, etc) are all very powerful and real and i can see jaskier doing the same thing. again, if this were modern era i think that he might release this one as a single. theres so much to unpack in this song, this ones gonna be a little longer oops.
Maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much But maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up Running scared, I was there, I remember it all too well
this clearly references the mountain scene. they were a pretty good duo until geralt blamed him for all his problems. and jaskier was effectively stuck on the top of a very dangerous mountain that he would have had to navigate down by himself. 
Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own Now you mail back my things and I walk home alone
jaskier spent half of his life following geralt around, its likely that he doesnt know what to do with himself or his life now that he doesnt have geralt to follow around on adventures. he doesnt know what to do anymore (see the first song).
But you keep my old scarf from that very first week 'Cause it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me You can't get rid of it, 'cause you remember it all too well, yeah
this is more of a hope that jaskier has. he hopes that geralts held onto something of his that he left behind. maybe he left a shirt in one of roaches saddle bags (canon) or a notebook in their apartment (modern) that geralt just cant seem to get rid of. he would like to think that he had an impact on geralts life and that it wasn't just all for nothing. in the beginning, he wants geralt to be just as hurt as he is.
'Cause there we are again, when I loved you so Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well
this is a dig at geralt. he'd never had someone to follow him around on adventures before, much less a human. as far as we know it seems like jaskiers the first human that has even given him the time of day. this is jaskiers way of throwing it back in geralts face
9. impossible by james arthur (canon or modern works) 
this would have also been written very soon after the incident. it is more jaskier being mad at himself for not seeing the signs than him being mad at geralt. it is almost like his admittance of the event and like hes finally accepting what happened.
I remember years ago Someone told me I should take Caution when it comes to love, I did And you were strong and I was not My illusion, my mistake I was careless, I forgot, I did
jaskier is someone who clearly falls in love (or at least screws around with people) easily so its likely that someone would have given him some advice along these lines once. but when he met geralt its likely that this caution went to the wind. 
When all is done, there is nothing to say And if you're done with embarrassing me On your own you can go ahead, tell them
Tell them all I know now Shout it from the rooftops Write it on the skyline All we had is gone now Tell them I was happy And my heart is broken All my scars are open Tell them what I hoped would be impossible
this hints at the first song on the album. jaskier has no stomach for singing for audiences asking to hear about the adventures of geralt of rivia. this is his way of telling geralt that, almost as his punishment, he should have to deal with the people who ask why hes not traveling with his bard anymore, because jaskier has no intention of doing so. this is pretty brutal because (as we know) geralt doesnt really enjoy talking about feelings, or talking at all in general.
10. exile by taylor swift (modern or canon era works)
this is a fictitious conversation that jaskier wrote as occurring between him and geralt. it can be looked at either way but i think it makes more sense if bon iver is jaskier and taylor is geralt. 
I think I've seen this film before And I didn't like the ending You're not my homeland anymore So what am I defendin' now? You were my town Now I'm in exile seein' you out I think I've seen this film before
this first chorus is from jaskiers perspective. note the use of “homeland,” as home becomes a theme on jaskiers album. in geralts version of the chorus the line instead is “youre not my problem anymore” which is probably what jaskier took the whole mountain thing to mean. 
All this time We always walked a very thin line You didn't even hear me out (you didn't even hear me out) You never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs) All this time I never learned to read your mind (never learned to read my mind) I couldn't turn things around (you never turned things around) 'Cause you never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs)
(the () in this are geralt) this is jaskiers lamentations about how he didnt notice geralts abject discomfort in their relationship and also his regrets in not being able to remedy the situation. 
11. illicit affairs by taylor swift (modern or canon works) 
so this song is clearly and obviously about an affair. however, i have seen interpretations of the song where people view it as being in a relationship that is  so intense and well hidden that in a sense it is almost like an affair, like in the aftermath you’re not even sure if it was real or you deemed it because there isnt really a trace of this other person anymore, and that is the way i think jaskier would have written this song. 
And you wanna scream Don't call me kid Don't call me baby Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me You showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else
the dont call me kid, dont call me baby part would reference jaskiers humanity, he has a normal human lifespan at least in canon (very much unlike geralt) so geralt might brush him off as being young and stupid. jaskier would have made this album to show geralt that hes not being young and stupid, that this did screw him up, and hes suffering cause of it. kind of like a reality check or a slap in the face.
Don't call me kid Don't call me baby Look at this idiotic fool that you made me You taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else And you know damn well For you I would ruin myself A million little times
the secret language would of course refer to geralt himself. hes a hard man to understand (especially cause half his vocabulary is grunts) and hes also a witcher. so jasper had to learn to understand him and now he has no use for that anymore. and the ending line about ruining myself. that would be jaskiers admittance that he would do it again, he'd do it all again, which comes back up in later songs.
12. safe inside by james arthur (canon era interpretation)
this is one that jaskier would have written maybe a week or so after the incident. the song itself deals with distance and coping with not being in someones life anymore, and i think that that is something that jaskier would struggle to cope with because hes not sure he wants geralt to be alone. this song is more for jaskier than for geralt. 
Everyone has to find their own way And I'm sure things will work out okay I wish that was the truth All we know is the sun will rise Thank your lucky stars that you're alive It's a beautiful life
obviously geralt can take care of himself, but its kinda clear that he doesnt much like his life as a witcher (the part where he talks about them getting slow and killed). so this is kind of jaskiers way of almost reminding geralt that his life on the path is still beautiful and important now that he back by himself. 
Oh, will you call me to tell me you're alright? 'Cause I worry about you the whole night Don't repeat my mistakes, I won't sleep 'til you're safe inside If you're home I just hope that you're sober Is it time to let go now you're older? Don't leave me this way, I won't sleep 'til you're safe inside
this is more jaskier worrying about geralt being by himself. he hopes that hes okay in the aftermath of this this and that hes taking care of himself still. because of course jaskier would write a whole breakup album but still write one song about how he hopes the person is doing well.
13. quite miss home by james arthur (modern era interpretation)
this song. oh my god. its so amazing. if you dont listen to any of these, at least listen to this one (actually im pretty sure no ones read to this point so if you have thanks). this song is kind of more along the same vein as the previous one, how jaskier misses geralt but its more for him than geralt. he would have probably written it at like 3am in a fit of tears and weakness, and debated long and hard about whether or not to put it on the album, but done it anyway because what does he have to lose? theres a lot to unpack here tho so this is going to be a longer one. (sorry)
I'm in the kitchen while you smoke outside You're careful not to let the smoke inside I always tell you it's poison But I know it helps you take the edge off the day We get a drink before it's closing time The one on high street with the blinking sign All these memories feel poignant I won't be there to see the snow melt away
this is a very very clear picture of an event that seems to have happened a great many times, so much so that it seems like second nature. its like a little glimpse into what their life was before this incident. its intimate, but it still is melancholy.
Whoa I'm in another city I got nobody with me And it just really hit me
this is where jaskier is now, it provides some opposition. its like a culture shock almost, like hes so used to this intimate lifestyle with another person that its jarring to be by himself.
That I quite miss home And I miss you telling me To leave my shoes at the door 'Cause you just swept the floor And the dirt drives you crazy Yeah, I quite miss home 'Cause it feels like poetry When the rain falls down on the window While you're in my arms And we're watching the TV Yeah, I quite miss home
the key here is what jaskier is referring to as “home.” it's not the place, its geralt himself. all these memories center around him, not an establishment. (calling geralt “home” comes back in later songs.) again, this mosh of memories is like theres so many of them that its almost overwhelming but its stemming from jaskiers need to feel something other than lonely and hes craving this reality that hes lost.
14. my tears ricochet by taylor swift (modern or canon era works)
this is a song that really emphasizes jaskiers dramatic little shit tendencies. this is something that he wrote, trying to predict what geralts reaction would be if he found out that jaskier died. this is really just jaskier fantasizing that geralt didnt actually mean any of what he said and does still care about him. theres many lines in here that are jabs at geralt (if I'm dead to you why are you at the wake? and Even on my worst day Did I deserve, babe All the hell you gave me?), but i think this is the most important one:
And I can go anywhere I want Anywhere I want Just not home And you can aim for my heart, go for blood But you would still miss me in your bones And I still talk to you When I'm screaming at the sky And when you can't sleep at night You hear my stolen lullabies
this is again, jaskier referring to geralt as home. as seen in the last song, he clearly wants to go there, but he cant. this could also refer to where he grew up, which he cant go to either because his parents still view him as a disappointment (as seen in finally). jaskier saying he still talks to geralt is completely in character, he probably still curses him and the whole thing. but the part about geralt not being able to sleep at night and hearing his stolen lullabies is really hard hitting. jaskier likes to think that geralt wouldn't be able to sleep without his banter or his lute playing or something of that nature. over all its a very powerful song.
15. phoenix by james arthur (modern or canon works) 
this is a fictitious apology that jaskier wrote from geralts pov, kind of what he wished that geralt would say, but knows that he won't. 
Let me, let me begin Let me begin, with an I.O.U Who I owe everything to Lately, lately my friend Lately, you think I'm ignoring you But I've been trying to pull through All of the pain, I know you're looking down, down on me I could have been someone I hurt everyone Pushed away everyone who got near
in this “geralt” outlines what he did wrong, and that he didnt mea what he said at all. again, this is more for jaskiers benefit because he knows that even if geralt were to apologize to him, it wouldn't be to this extent.
16. this is me trying by taylor swift (modern or canon works)
this is jaskier trying to articulate the fact that hes trying to pick himself back up after everything, his way of showing his “healing process” and that he can do it, he doesnt need geralt (as the song shows, its not going very well)
And it's hard to be at a party When I feel like an open wound It's hard to be anywhere these days When all I want is you You're a flashback in a film reel On the one screen in my town And I just wanted you to know That this is me trying (maybe I don't quite know what to say) I just wanted you to know That this is me trying
its showing that jaskier is having trouble enjoying things that he once did (like parties) because hes still so distraught over what happened with geralt, but at the same time he also wants to show geralt that he doesnt need him. it has a very i dont care kind of attitude, but jaskier at the same time is having a hard time showing geralt that hes doing okay, hence the “maybe i dont quite know what to say” which is out of character for the very talkative bard
17. happiness by taylor swift (modern or canon works)
this is more him convincing himself that things will be okay. he's clearly trying at this point to move on, but its proving difficult because geralt was his happiness for so long:
There'll be happiness after you But there was happiness because of you Both of these things can be true There is happiness
he also repeats the line “havent me the new me yet” a few times, which i think is again him trying to convince himself that its going to get better and he will move on from it. but this line is the one that i think hurts the most:
No one teaches you what to do When a good man hurts you And you know you hurt him too
this implies that 1. he still thinks geralts a good man (not a monster) and 2. that he knows he hurt him to and doesn't know how to fix either of them. this is also kind of him giving up on how to fix it, but him recognizing they were both at fault is important for the arc of the story.
18. death by a thousand cuts by taylor swift (modern or canon works)
this is another song that is not off of folklore (its from lover), but i wanted to include it because it think it has a little bit of anger to it (especially in this live acoustic version that i linked) which i think that jaskier would feel a few weeks post incident in a fit of rage, like why am i still feeling this way? why did you think that this was okay?? and its right after happiness, which shows that his healing really isn't linear. there's many lines in this song that pertain to geralt and jaskier and i could talk about the whole thing but im not going to
But if the story's over, why am I still writing pages?
this i think is very jaskier. its so raw and like, i know this is over, why am i still writing about it? why am i making an album about this? why should this still matter to me? its very angry and again, like many of the songs, like a slap.
My heart, my hips, my body, my love Tryna find a part of me that you didn't touch Gave up on me like I was a bad drug Now I'm searching for signs in a haunted club Our songs, our films, united, we stand Our country, guess it was a lawless land Quiet my fears with the touch of your hand Paper cut stings from our paper-thin plans My time, my wine, my spirit, my trust Tryna find a part of me you didn't take up Gave you so much, but it wasn't enough But I'll be alright, it's just a thousand cuts
this part, especially if you listen to her sing it, (which i would HIGHLY RECOMMEND BTW) is very passive aggressive and the the last line is like quite sarcastic and downplays it, like, yes you put me through all of this, but i guess its *just* a thousand cuts. this really shows that in many ways geralt was a part of jaskiers life, and his sudden removal from it would have stung in many ways, and thats not something that you can get over quickly. 
19. empty space by james arthur (modern or canon era works)
this song starts the beginning of jaskier getting over geralt. these last 4 songs would have been written much after the incident, after hes had time to think, but there's still this nagging in the back of his head thats like, well what if im being stupid and he is the one and im supposed to go back?
I don't see you You're not in every window I look through And I don't miss you You're not in every single thing I do I don't think we're meant to be And you are not the missing piece I won't hear it Whenever anybody says your name And I won't feel it Even when I'm burstin' into flames I don't regret the day I left I don't believe that I was blessed I'm probably lyin' to myself again
this is more what jaskier wants to be, not what he actually is. he thinks that hes over geralt, but hes not (the chorus gets into it more but im not going to talk about it here, but it essentially says “only you can fill this empty space”) clearly jaskier is further along in his healing process, but hes still having second thoughts. he wants to be over him, but he knows hes lying to himself, very deep down. 
20. coney island by taylor swift (more modern era interpretation)
this is the true moving on song. it’s still laced with memories and speculation, but it puts clear distance between the two of them, much more so than empty space does because it lacks the longing. it just shows things for what they are. 
And I'm sitting on a bench in Coney Island Wondering where did my baby go? The fast times, the bright lights, the merry go Sorry for not making you my centerfold
its apologetic, but nothing more than that. it dwells more on what could have been rather than what he wants it to still be. 
The question pounds my head What's a lifetime of achievement If I pushed you to the edge? But you were too polite to leave me And do you miss the rogue Who coaxed you into paradise and left you there? Will you forgive my soul When you're too wise to trust me and too old to care?
this is interesting because it addresses their immortality and how they've been together for years and also the way in which they left things (paradise). but it also implies that things were on the downfall. and the last two lines about forgiveness is interesting because it then calls geralt “too wise to trust me and too old to care” meaning its more a wish of jaskiers rather than something he knows geralt will do.
Were you waiting at our old spot In the tree line By the gold clock Did I leave you hanging every single day? Were you standing in the hallway With a big cake, happy birthday Did I paint your bluest skies the darkest grey? A universe away And when I got into the accident The sight that flashed before me was your face But when I walked up to the podium, I think that I forgot to say your name
these are all very specific, very intimate moments that would clearly mean something to geralt. and it further implies that jaskier is uncertain if he actually made geralt feel appreciated when they were together. but again, its more what could have been rather than what jaskier wanted it to be, which is a nice segway into the last two songs. 
21. new years day by taylor swift (modern era interpretation)
this is another one not from folklore, this song is the closing track on reputation, but i like the nostalgia of it so i decided to include it (and it also has good parallels to the last song). initially jaskier intended for this to be the last song on the album, but decided to add another one last minute (and we will get into why). this song is more jaskiers muted longing to still be with geralt, albeit in the far future. 
There's glitter on the floor after the party Girls carrying their shoes down in the lobby Candle wax and Polaroids on the hardwood floor You and me from the night before but Don't read the last page But I stay when you're lost and I'm scared and you're turning away I want your midnights But I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day
this interpretation is very much like the actual songs interpretation: the desire to stay with someone through the unexciting parts of life, like cleaning up after a party on new years day. additionally, wanting to start something new with someone (being there with them past the midnight kiss and actually starting the first day of the year with them). additionally though, there is the line of “dont read the last page” which refers to the last song on the album, which we will get to. 
Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you And I will hold on to you Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere
this is more jaskiers reality. hes torn between holding onto these memories and hopes and actually facing reality. he wants to hold on to geralt, but he also kinda wants to move on. and the last line about the laugh, thats more jaskiers own hope, he hopes that he will come across geralt again and things will work themselves out.
22. the 1 by taylor swift (modern era interpretation)
the decision to make this song the last one on the album was a very last minute decision, and it was written significantly after the rest of the songs. the reason for this was without this last song, the album ends on a note of hope “Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere” but this last song is more of a reality check and acknowledgment that what's done is done and that it will never be again. 
I'm doing good, I'm on some new shit Been saying "Yes" instead of "No" I thought I saw you at the bus stop, I didn't though
this refers to the fact that its been some time since the whole thing and jaskiers kind of changed a little bit. he claims hes doing good, and maybe is going to try out a new career (since the first song references wanting to put music down for awhile). seeing geralt at the bus stop is a reference to cardigan where he says “chasing shadows in the grocery line” where hes not actively looking for geralt anymore and it doesnt upset him that he didnt see him.
I guess you never know, never know And if you wanted me, you really should've showed And if you never bleed, you're never gonna grow And it's alright now
this is jaskier saying that hes almost glad that it happened because it gave him a new perspective and it was a learning experience. he also says that its alright, which is the second time that hes said hes okay, which probably means he isnt completely, but hes much closer than he was on the rest of the album because hes not still looking for geralt at every turn
I have this dream you're doing cool shit Having adventures on your own You meet some woman on the Internet and take her home We never painted by the numbers, baby But we were making it count You know the greatest loves of all time are over now I guess you never know, never know And it's another day, waking up alone
this is jaskier acknowledging the fact that geralt has probably long since moved on with his life, either with other romantic people or with his life entirely (the first time he does this on the album). he says that while their love or friendship was unconventional it still was definitely something (implying that it may have been one of the greatest loves of his life). and the waking up alone part references quite miss home and being by himself, but it isnt sad, its just a fact at this point.
But we were something, don't you think so? Roaring twenties, tossing pennies in the pool And if my wishes came true It would've been you In my defense, I have none For never leaving well enough alone But it would've been fun If you would've been the one
this is the part where we see that jaskier has grown. hes recognized that his wanting to be with geralt was never anything more than a fleeting wish or a moment that couldn't last. but he knows that it had potential and it could have worked but it didnt and thats okay. in the last chorus the pennies line is “rosé flowing with your chosen family” which implies that he and geralt were close enough to know each others family (chosen or real), meaning that it meant something. and he wouldn't have minded a long term relationship with geralt, but its not what happened.
in new years day jaskier says “dont read the last page” this song is that last page. part of him still doesnt want geralt to know that hes put aside the hope of it working because he wants to still keep himself open for geralt, but knows that  its not healthy and ultimately he needs to move on. hes essentially giving geralt the choice: remember jaskier as wanting to get back with him (since the last line of the album would have been “please dont ever become a stranger who's laugh i could recognize anywhere” or let him have the knowledge that jaskier is done with him (since the official last line of the album is “but it would have been fun if you would've been the one”)
anyway thats jaskiers breakup album. i put way too much effort into this. and if you actually read through the whole thing, thank you and please let me know what you think!! if you use this for fics or have your own interpretations please please tag me, id love to see!!
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fashournalist · 3 years
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I realised Netflix stopped letting me take screenshots (using my laptop) so let me just put this screenshot of RT ratings here. I just finished watching The Good Place's finale and boy, there was so much emotion. I get now why my friends said they cried during the last episode :( It's good how they can make you fight back your tears with good laughs. How do they do that simultaneously? Thank you for creating this show, Michael Schur!
It's Schur-ly the best sitcom ever (and Fleabag is second). I can see why critics have the following rating:
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The Good Place consistently did great. And I'm grateful I had the experience of watching it. I started the series last year when my colleagues at Isentia recommended it to me, and it's one my ways of coping as I'm still dealing with my Mom's...flight to the real good place. Watched Coco, etc. Shows about the afterlife that somehow make you smile even though death is a sad theme.
I had to wait for one whole year to watch season 4 because it just arrived a week ago on Netflix. Well, The Good Place was worth the wait. Chidi's speech about the waves returning to the ocean touches your core. It's really a good show to watch regardless of what you're going through, but I think it hits differently when you're grieving.
I wish this series hasn't ended yet but as it tells us, isn't that what makes everything special? The fact that things come to an end? : ) That we're not here forever, and we have to make everyday count.
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This moment really got me, too. It reminded me that remembering my memories with Momi can be almost the same as living in them. She's not gone. She's always here with us, in our hearts.
I got really sad when Jason left, then Eleanor cried as she let Chidi go, then Janet became emotional and worried as Michael had a one-way trip to the Earth. It's so beautiful how they all loved each other. I'm proud of Tahani for becoming a Good Place architect! It's great to see her family improve their relationship, too. What a beautiful finale that touches the soul. Though, I get it when people say they had existential crisis after watching the show. But as for me it made me appreciate the life we have more. The struggles, the work we must do to achieve our goals, the process. It's all part of what makes life beautiful. If we could all get what we want anytime, we'd soon lose our interest in them, just like what the people in The Good Place felt before they realised they could end their existence.
This is not related to anything that happened in the series but, the show also made me really all the more grateful that we have a Savior in real life, Jesus Christ, because we didn't have to earn our salvation.
Thank you, The Good Place for not overly extending your show just to make money, which is what several shows have done. Thank you for the laughs, the lessons, and the feels. Thank you for your brilliant characters that are hilarious and at the same time adorable from the beginning until the end. I love how they've grown—if I continue this sentence, I might write hundreds of words and I don't have the time now.
And I wasn't prepared to hear Spiegel im Spiegel! I've loved that since I heard it from About Time, another hilarious but emotional movie that hits home. That instrumental score is just special. I've listened to it while studying, journaling, reminiscing, working, solo travelling, etc...in the past seven years. I still do now (along with other great scores). I'm glad that this music has been used in two heartfelt shows.
The Good Place is funny, special, dark (but in a light way), and sentimental. I tried watching other sit coms, they're good but I haven't felt the "I can't wait til I see the next episode" feeling. I'm still in season one of HIMYM, same with Brooklyn Nine-Nine. So the only sitcoms I've finished watching so far are The Good Place and Fleabag, which is also well-written.
Anyhow, this post doesn't even tell 10% of what's on my mind right now but it's time to get a good night's sleep. A new week is ahead, so let's slay and well, take it sleazy! Everything is fine :)
(I'll briefly react to Godfather and #Alive next time. I say react because "reviews" sound intimidating and that's clearly not what I'm doing. I'm just reacting haha. I'm really grateful to have Netflix now. I stopped it for a long time. I had an on-and-off relationship with it, starting in November 2017. The Crown made me sign in, Mom and I both love that show. My subscription ended in July 2018. The only time I subscribed again was January-February 2020 (to binge my grief away—it didn't go away though but the binging still helped) then I stopped the subscription again. I just renewed in September, so yes, feels good to reunite with you, Netflix :) )
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threeletterslife · 4 years
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HI CHANA!! ITS WEEKLY ANON AND I FINALLY GOT THE CHANCE TO READ THE EXAM…. I think this is one of the best things ive ever read. Also i think my laptops gonna break soon cuz i cried on it too much. Everything about this was so perfect? And can i just say, for someone who has really bad anxiety, the way you depicted it was so accurate! And jimin and yoongis backstories were so heartfelt. AND THAT ONE PART WHERE TAE ASKED YN FOR WATER AND YN JUST REPLIED WITH A BUNCH OF LATIN WORDS LMAOOOO (cont.)
you wrote the build up for the exam SO well. like with every time jump i was so nervous for how the exam was gonna end up. Tae’s character was so genuine and wholesome and my heart SHATTERED when i found out he didnt pass. And then reading his note after was so sad, especially the way he reminisced on the past things they did. And that one line “do you think theyre watching over you” felt so so magical. And the way you wrote how yn ‘survived’ the exam was so true. (cont.)
Anyways! Im sorry this review was ALL OVER THE PLACE DKSJDKFSD but this was just so beautiful to read. The ending was so sad but the way you wrote it made it seem so bittersweet. Thank you so much for writing this, because it truly was such a pleasure to read! I’ll be looking out for your next post but until then stay safe and thanks again for this masterpiece!!! love youuu
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BEST?!? B E S T?!?!?! I AM CRYING HERE 😭
tae’s undiagnosed anxiety is a tribute to the education system in america and what it’s done to students’ nerves. i got a lot of influence for his character from myself and a lot of my friends. it makes me really sad that more people suffer from anxiety, BUT on the other hand, i’m also glad i was able to depict it accurately 
omg i spent a LOT of time developing jimin and yoongi’s backstories (especially yoongi’s because his story is a bit more sensitive than jimin’s). it makes me really, really happy that my efforts have paid off!! 
I AM SO FREAKING HAPPY THAT YOU THOUGHT THE BULID UP WAS GOOD. the whole mf story was supposed to be a huge allegory of the usa’s ugly-ass education system lmao. so to hear that you were nervous as the actual date of the exam got closer means that i did my job LOL
mY goD i tried so hard making tae seem like a realistic character. in fact, the whole point of this WHOLE series is about realistic, everyday, normal, average people who live in an unfair/destructive society. i just think in movies and other dystopian-themed media, we see too much of the katniss everdeen trope (if you know what i mean). not everyone is destined to be a hero. sometimes, we succumb to the madness, no matter how bad it is. but you’re welcome to imagine ways in which there might be a future successful rebellion in this society of atna. (mAybe i’ll even write about that one day LMAO)
and yes!! yn did survive. she was dragged into something that she was going to ignore completely. but she became influenced and began to conform to her society’s standards. she’s a survivor; albeit, she didn’t survive as heroically as other main characters might in a crisis 
ANYWAYS, (sorry i literally rambled so much omg) I THINK THIS REVIEW WAS LOVELY! I HAD SO MANY THINGS TO COMMENT ABOUT IT!! i love my bittersweet endings LMAO (even the worst outcomes can shed just a little bit of light.) thank you so SO much for this lengthy review. it was a pleasure to read this, love ✨
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franeridart · 6 years
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I absolutely adore every single KiriBaku thing you draw. They’re so pure and I love them.
;O; !!!!! thank you holy heck!!!!!
Anon said:Fran i missed your hq fanart, it was so good seeing some more from you!
I’m happy you liked them!!!! I missed drawing them too, really !!!!
Anon said:Imagine this - BNHA kids like It kids. Also love your art!
But I haven’t watched It :O and thank you!!!
Anon said: Is it ok if fictionkin people reblog your art and tag it as kin or anything of the sort?
Sure! People are gonna do so anyway whatever I say after all, and this seems like a really silly thing to get bothered over since it’s not like it hurts me in any way haha
Anon said:Who dabs more, Denki or Mina?
If I gotta pick one I’d say Kaminari, but I sure as heck hope dabbing isn’t still a thing in whatever future bnha is set in, anon hahaha
Anon said:yo i love it when you color your sketches, so pretty!!
OH BOY thank you so so much!!!!! :O
Anon said:I love you and your art so much?? like??? you’re so perfect?? just keep doing what you’re doing because you’re doing fucking amazing
I’m the furthest thing from perfect you’re gonna find, anon haha but thank you so much for the compliment!!
Anon said:thank you for always making me smile.
And thank you cause this ask made me smile, anon!!
Anon said:your coloring skills are improving!!! gosh your art is visibly getting better lately (not that it’s even been “bad”, there’s no such thing!! i’ve always loved it). i don’t know if it’s a good idea to tell you this but i mean it as a genuine compliment!
Are they really??? °O° I wouldn’t have said so, honestly haha but I’m super happy to hear that, thank you!!
Anon said:Are any of your OCs romantically involved? Or are they all just good friends?
Yes and no, depending on at which point in their respective story we’re talking about haha Josh and Chris are in love with each other, and so are Max and Leo (well, their situation is a bit… uncommon, but if I were ever to write their story they’d be together in the end) - I once posted about Gabe and Hector, and by the end of their story they’re in a poly relationship with a girl named Erica I’ve never posted about. Luca has a love (?) interest of sort but he’s not been posted about yet hohoho maybe sometime in the near future. Still deciding about Isa and Ana’s relationship, but maybe. Who knows? That’s about it as far as the ones I’ve posted about go :D
Anon said:your ocs are adorable!! esp ana, I want to know EVERYTHING ABOUT HER (and, yeah, having new ocs is super exciting, like you said! just– being able to figure all that stuff out, actually mould a character of your own– it’s a lot of fun!!!)
Anon said: What are Ana and Isa like? From that drawing, I already think I would want to be friends with Isa! She looks like lots of fun!
She is!! She’s sort of a jock, a bit of a dummy and really loud, she’s easy to make laugh and got the type of laughter that makes you wanna laugh with her so when she’s around the mood is always a good one! She’s not exactly a social butterfly, but she’s got no problems with socializing, knows by instinct how to bend her behaviour to fit with all types of people and has the incredible ability to have every and all awkward situations fly right over her head, she just doesn’t notice them, and that makes it hard to be anything but relaxed when she’s around. She’s actually how she and Ana got in the group, since she’s gym buddies with Leo! She also really really likes ball sports :D
Ana’s an introvert all the way through, on the other hand - she’s really witty and sassy when she feels comfortable enough, and sarcasm is her preferred way of communicating, but if she doesn’t know you/ too many people she isn’t 100% comfortable with are around she comes off as timid and closed off, smiles politely and barely utters a word - people assume she’s the subdued and shy type at first so once she starts opening up it’s always sort of a shock haha she’s got a scientific mind and while she isn’t a “gifted kid” like Chris she likes to learn and study a lot, which is why she ended up having a real great relationship with Chris specifically out of everyone in the group (they like to nerd out together) (Josh isn’t particularly happy about it, the jelly idiot) 
Anon said: I love seeing you drawing and getting asks about your OCs. They have so much personality and it makes me super happy. I hope you’ll feel like sharing them with us more often!
Thank you so much!!!! I’m really really happy people seem to like them too!!!! :O
Anon said:you draw the children so long i love it :0
!!!!! :D thank you!!!
Anon said:Did you now that the voice actor of Tenya is also the one of Kageyama ? (I start Haikyuu because of you by the way, thanks for this and for all your great art !)
I did know!!! There’s a lot of hq va’s in bnha, that’s always made me happy haha
Anon said:Love the new Haikyuu art! Although it’s sad that someone made you lose motivation to draw BNHA :/ Daishou is one of my faves, too. He’s such a doof, love it.
OH BOY I love Daishou so much, I’m glad you like him too! Aside from how much fun he is to draw (and color! he’s a green haired boy and that matters lots to me haha) he’s got so much personality and he’s such an interesting character! I honest to god disliked him with a passion during the nekohebi game, actually haha but that’s how it is with most of my hq faves, after all hahaha glad you liked the doodles, by the way!!!
Anon said:DOGS? SHOUTS? LUCA IS MY KINDA GUY
THANK YOU FOR LIKING MY ANGRY SON !!!!!! :D
Anon said:I love Luca! Where did he get his scar?
A fight with some punks back when he was a teen that ended up escalating when knives became a thing that was being used :O he comes off as the dangerous sorta type which makes good people steer clear and bad ones come looking for trouble/ pick fights with him cause they assume he was picking a fight cause of his resting bitch face. Well, he’s an ass so let’s say that at least half the times he had been picking fights, and it’s not like he runs when someone tries to fight him anyway… that’s not the only scar he has, it’s just the most visible one haha
Anon said:I’m kinda freaking out about Luca and the others being italians! It makes me love your OCs even more ahah Btw, don’t know if you’ve already answered this or if it’s too personal but… are you Italian? (Or what nationality?)
Yah I am! :D and I’m super happy to hear you like my kids!!!!!
Anon said:Hello! I just wanted to let you know that you inspire me a lot! Your blog is honestly such a happy, fun place to be. You draw so much stuff, so much cute and sweet stuff regularly and I aspire to be like that! I’m extremely slow at drawing, and I lose motivation or get distracted from drawing easily, but I’m hoping for a day when I can make a blog just like yours; a place where I can regularly draw things that make me happy. I hope you have a wonderful day!
I’m!!!! so happy to hear that!!!!! And yeah I 100% understand the being slow and getting discouraged easily, I used to be (and sort of still am) like that too :O my need to be faster is what had me end up with the style I have now, actually haha I hope you’ll find a comfortable style that’ll let you be as fast as you wish soon too, anon!!!
Anon said:I don’t think you understand how much it means to me that you drew an asahi! He’s my fave and he looks precious and pretty in your style! Thank you for this gift :’)
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m glad you liked him, then!!!!!!! *O* thank you!!!!!
Anon said:Thank you for drawing Noya! Im sorry it was sort of cause of a shitty anon, I also really enjoy your bnha drawings so im not trying to be all “waaaah go back to hq”, but im happy to see my lightning son and also find out hes in your favs? Yay!
YAH HE’S THE BEST ISN’T HE he’s been one of my top 5s since he first appeared, he’s such a good I’m glad you liked him!!!!!!!!
Anon said:FRAN YOUR NEW HQ ART IM IN LOVE!!!!!! YOU DRAW DAISHOU LIKE A LITERAL SNAKE HES SO SMUG ITS SO GOOD!! AND YOUR OCS!! I WOULD HONESTLY READ A BOOK ABOUT THEM. OR A WEB COMIC. BOTH ARE GOOD. SORRY ABOUT THE CAPS IM JUST EXCITED BC HQ!!!! AND AWESOME OCS!!!! (can you tell that i have a weakness for other people’s ocs, esp when done well) (which you certainly have)
THANK YOU FOR THE COMPLIMENTS OH GODS !!!!!!!!!!!! Especially about my ocs, that makes me so happy oh boy ;O; !!! And and and I’m super happy you liked Dai! He’s honestly so much fun to draw, for me hahaha
Anon said:I’m sorry that people are being assholes, sending good vibes! I love all your art, I hope you have a good day
This to you and everyone else who’s sent the same type of ask, thank you SO much! You guys are all so incredibly nice and supportive, bless all of you ;O;
Anon said:Dave!!! :D
Dave indeed!!!!!! :D :D
Anon said:your art is Good
Thank You !!!!!!!!
Anon said:omg i love your ocs so much
SOB thank you?????
Anon said:I love how the collar on Kiri’s coat in the ‘Them boys’ post is reminiscent of his pauldrons
……………………………………………….. that was totally on purpose. Yep. Definitely. Hmhm.
Anon said:Anon from before showed me your stuff today and just wanted to say wow I love your stuff what even your art is so good I fuckin love kiribaku and oh my god I swear I must have gone through your whole kiribaku tag and I’m gone your art just made my day
GOSH I’m glad you liked them???? thank you for such a nice message aaahhhh !!!!!!
Anon said:Im cry omg i just realized ur url is franeridart fjhfhf this whole time i thought it was friend art bddnjx
You’re the second person that tells me that in the span of just a couple of days omfg hahahaha it’s cool tho, I wish that was actually the url, it’d have been such a soft one haha
Anon said:hi Kaminari can skateboard he has a skateboard in his room
Kaminari in his room also has a dart board, a basketball and a dj console, and that’s only the stuff whe can see so actually, considering in his likes there’s “cool things” I think he’s the type of boy that tries to pursue any hobbie he might think would make him look cool, so either he has no clue how to use any of the cool things in his room above a vaguely amatorial level or he’s still pursuing all of those interests! Which would actually be super cool! Incidentally this is my preferred headcanon too so, yeah, as far as I’m concerned he knows how to skate. And play basketball. And darts. And also how to dj. He’s a cool kid haha
Anon said:Bless you and your super cute kiribaku ^_^
Bless you for the super sweet message, anon!!!! ;O;
Anon said:THAT JIROU IS SO TINY AND ADORABLE I’M DYING LOOK AT HER SIDE BY SIDE WITH KAMINARI AND BAKUGOU OH MY GOD
Hahahaha I might have actually accentuated that a bit, but she’s about 20cm shorter than the both of them and in a chibi style that’s hard to keep accurate hahahaha but yeah I love my pocket sized girl she’s the best
Anon said:Im so fucking happy because youve been posting (almost?) daily for a few days now
That was my own poor attempt at something similar to inktober, actually! I’ve had a few days through the month I wasn’t at home at all so I couldn’t draw all 31 days, but I think I got close? Maybe? I’m glad you enjoyed it, tho!!
Anon said:you deserve all the love in the world
I’m f sobbing so do you, friend ;u;
Anon said:do you like as*noya?? or, which are your main pairings for asahi and noya :)
I do ship as*noya, but I prefer Asahi with Daichi and Suga (ot3) or with Kiyoko, actually :O while my fav Noya ship is with Tanaka~
Anon said:I have recently fallen totally in love with kiribaku as a ship, and your art is always my favorite to see in the tags. Thanks for drawing those two nerds, and I hope you have a good rest of your day!
Thank you!!!!! This fandom is super full of incredibly talented people, I hope you’ll enjoy it here hahaha
Anon said: I first found your blog searching the Bokuroo tag.I was very happy because it was one of my all time OTPs,but they didnt have much content.Then there you came,with amazing art.Time passed and you watched BNHA.I was absolutely captivated by BakuShima and then I checked your blog and it had BakuShima!!I told myself “this person cant get any cooler”.But today i found out about TetsuKami and I checked their tag and yoU ALREADY MADE FANART OF THEM!!Officially ,you are the coolest person on Tumblr tbh
We seem to have really really similar tastes in ships, anon!!!! that’s so great omfg !!!!!!! :O and I’m super happy you like my stuff still afer all this time hahaha
Anon said:Could I draw some fan art of your ocs?
Oh my god yeah!!!!! please do link me to it if you do!!!!!
Anon said:BLESS YOUR BEAUTIFUL SOUL FOR MAKING SUCH AMAZING ART
BLESS YOU FOR BEING SO KIND, ANON!!!!!!
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Our Panic! At the Disco Concert Experience
This is a personal post guys. Hope you don’t mind! Admins Daria, Socks, and Disappointment went recently and we wanted to share our favorite parts. Enjoy! (feat. the assorted names for Brendon Urie)
Admin Daria’s thoughts
EVERYONE WHO WENT LOOKED SUPER COOL AND VERY FRIENDLY (fun fact: we started singing history maker from yoi and someone joined us ^^.)
Note: my ass has never danced so hard in my LIFE, my vocal chords did not last, and my ears could not hear for an entire day. i felt amazing
i also realized im capable of crying happy tears? more than once??
Saint Motels has the coolest sounding shit. Good vibes right there
The chick from Misterwives seemed so sweet, adorable, cool, and awesome 
Brendon: “You’re like a fucking frat house” *begins to dab viciously in imitation of a frat boy* “sUP BRAH SUP BRAH” Me: wHEEZE
Dallon was so cute oml, save me. HIS HAIR KEPT FLOPPING AROUND AND ASDFGHJKL (Im a bit sad that dallon didn’t interact much but he seemed into it so im happy that he’s happy)
After Girls/Girls/Boys, Breadbin was like “oh i don’t wanna get political…” then the little shit says “Donald Trump is a fucking idiot and he can suck my dick :))”
Old man beebo reminisces of the days his parents played vinyl around the house while they did chores
KENNETH SLAYING THE GUITAR. ALSO KENNETH ROCKING OUT THE BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY GUITAR SOLO WHILST STANDING ON A MOTHERFUCKING PIANO?? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK???
Dalllooooonnnnn. Bless him. He was doing cute little hand movements during the beginning of Bohemian Rhapsody and my heart hurts
Dallon jamming was just everything. (god, have i mentioned how much i love dallon weekes?)
Bden dancing and doing a backflip. Also, him being extra. 
DANNNNNNNN. STOP KILLING ME WITH THE DROOOMMMMSSS
the bass was so strong. and so good. can i just say that i find all instruments sexy? 
Kenneth interacted with us and gave people high-fives
tHE SAXPHONE BRO NEEDS TO BE APPRECIATED
intense smirking
Brandon Urine handing out compliments made me want to cry
the goddamn crowd during Girls/Girls/Boys (im posting a pic later)
tHE BACKUP VOCALS. DALLON’S VOICE AHHHH (im a dallon enthusiast, is there a problem?)
forehead expressing his appreciation for us :’)
mah bois hips don’t lie
I legit yelled "you own my ass" out loud... kinda regret it now
Admin Socks’ thoughts
THE FLOOR WAS SO FREAKING STICKY 
 THE HIGH NOTES THOUGH 
saint motel was SO GOOD 10/10 would have gone to a concert of just them
those songs from the 70s made me feel nostalgic even though I wasn’t alive 
I was one of the few in space buns?? I expected more 
GIRLS/GIRLS/BOYS WAS SO BEAUTIFUL WITH ALL THE HEARTS 
 ok, but out of the THOUSANDS of people, I was standing in line and noticed that the person next to me was MY FRICK FRACKING CHILDHOOD MUSIC TEACHER LIKE WTF ARE THE CHANCES
OH NO there are goldfish all over the floor of my car
GOSHDARNIT THEY ALL LOOKED G-O-R-G-E-O-U-S
merch merch merch merch merch yes please
when the first opening act came on I stood there gaping for a solid minute before whispering to myself “i’m here”
everywhere we went it was like this: “oh there’s your shirt” “someone has on the same shirt as you” “darnit I see someone with the same shirt as me” “look a whole flock with the same shirt”
I shouted “yassss queen” a few bajillion times
I ACTUALLY sang the bad words *gasps* so scandalous
I saw a bunch of pride flags and that just kinda filled my heart with joy :)
Admin Daria actually cried right next to me
SHOUTOUT TO THE GIRLS IN FRONT OF US WHO JOINED IN ON HISTORY MAKER AND THEN GAVE US THEIR SPARE HEARTS (my heart swells for all you nice wonderful people)
I tried to listen to what I sounded like when I was screaming and it was BAD. BAD I tell you
WHEN THE PIANO FIRST APPEARED I SCREAMED “YAY BRENDON YAY PIANO”
when I got in the car my mom was like “oh I bought the whole set-list and a few more songs if you’d like to listen to them” and I was just like “afjbvjk bwkbc yes please”
contrary to popular belief too weird to live too rare to die is my favorite album so I was glad that there were songs from that at the concert
my MOM had a better seat then me ... my MOM
that place had really bad service
we were all “SUP BRAH” and unironically dabbing in the parking lot
but seriously this was one of the best experiences of my life and I actually just layed on the floor when I got home and was like “omigod omigod omigod I just saw Panic! At the Disco omigod omigod I'm gonna die omigod”
Admin Disappointment’s thoughts 
CRYING LOTS OF CRYING 
LIKE WTF WHY SO MANY TEARS
 Yelling 
Singing off key 
Low key judging the people arriving late at the concert 
Eating a bag of goldfish 
Getting sick because of the excitement 
“BEEEEEEBOOOOOOO” “I hope this doesn’t show up on the video” 
Crying even more 
“sUP BRUH”
 Terrible videography skills 
Knowing all the songs
 “Donald Trump is a fucking idiot”
 Yelling across the room saying “I like your shirt” 
“You need to stop” 
Out of control 10/10 embarrassing to go to a concert with
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sh-lan · 7 years
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OMFG LAST QUARTER EVER + some spring break stuff???
Took a weekend off of life Retail therapy at its finest today Even though new jeans were overdue
It’s crazy how it still came I guess it’s a force of nature But omg it’s gonna be here on the concert T^T
This nerd would have mitsuha’s theme on his playlist smh #nochu
April 2nd, 2017 BTS Wings Tour I still can’t believe it happened I’ve been awake since 8am lol and it’s like 1:54am and i’m still trying to process and remember everything that happened today It felt like a dream! I can’t believe I saw them in real life. ohmygod Hands down, easily one of the best day of this week - if not this entire year so far holy shit will continue this tomorrow as i reminisce ok but one thing i noticed is that jungkook’s thighs are actually so real like wtf? shookt EDIT: lol i never finished this but oh well
oop i just bought more rings goodbye money
my charger broke gg time to get another one
I have a newfound appreciation for the color pink or more like my appreciation for pink is coming back
When you get anxious because bts hasnt posted on twitter for 3 days but then you also know they’re resting and that they deserve this break
SPRING QUARTER LEGGO tu/th schedule let’s hope this all works well keke
week 1 recap tuesday - sees everybody in freaking AB LOL sees harry after walking out of my tdpw sees alana and dylan outside my global health class which alana is also taking, and becca and tanya lOL goes to cogs 122 to find chen screaming my name - also vania and stella <3 last class is normal - with nobody in management BUT LOL LEIGHTON ADDED THE CLASS ON THURSDAY HAHA there’s also this girl in my tdpw class who looks like lindsay lohan and her name is also lindsey but with an e cause i saw it on the email lol not a stalker
Decided to gel nails it out friday of week 1 whut whut
First attempt at 양념치킨~
been using the soundtrack of your name this past week to get over pcd it’s been a week and i still haven’t recovered T^T
went to kbbq with harry! lol week 1 sunday started at manna….having an adventure in between at manna keke “started here and ending it here?” LOL
currently craving anything strawberry
don’t understand why i need to have my email as a send&receive in order to sms to work on my laptop bb why are you being stubborn when you’ve been working fine all this time
under yuri’s recommendation, i microwaved my coffee because it was lukewarm and she called me extra LOL
i’m getting nervous about a presentation when i shouldn’t be because ?? my AB service leader self is like completely gone i wanna crawl into a hole
i just finished season 2 and 3 of htgawm in less than a week… how they gonna do season 4 i wonder
Week 2 thursday I was actually really looking forward to class today Also my rings came! Though were they worth the $50….not so sure Were they cute? Yes But not as cute as the other one T^T So i mustnt give in to temptations nowww
I found out what matcha powder mom uses to make their matcha latte Cappuccine frappe mix But it’s sadly not on amazon ):
This new tumblr function is really inconvenient cause i cant tell how many thing i have on queue brcause i have to keep switching blogs -_-
Han came to visit! Friday Papa johns Saturday Snooze brunch Infinitea Abeh hangout In n out Sunday Aquarium! Koon thai Ramen yamadaya Boba bar and then i drove him to irvine where we got coco curry! and then i drove back and he bought me milk tea with pudding
Had an epiphany It’s not anenome It’s anemone
Omg but like why dont people call spoiler alerts “spoilerts”
Started 13 reasons why with Han Finished it, tuesday week 3 Hmmm How to feel
finished strong woman park hyung sik is so…adorable? IT’S SO WEIRD. HIS AEGYO LEVEL IS INSANE
When you realize that 둘! 셋! is probably the title of the fan song because that’s what BTS always say when they introduce themselves And that BTS + ARMY forever ㅠㅠㅠㅠ I’m not crying r u crying ;___;
어떻게
Omg when you wake up for reorientation and jungkook does lives <3
highkey need to crawl into a hole tbh
You know what i want to do? Go to an olive garden Even though i know it’ll taste bad lol
Not really sure what i want… But i dont want my 4 years to be a waste ):
i….skipped out on an interview today was it the right choice i may never know
most recent ep of snk got me fucked up SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT YMIR AND CHRISTA’S RELATIONSHIP IS WHO IS CHRISTA
Lol i hella bombed my quiz GOODBYE GONNA P/NP HAHA
Week 4 weekend Fuck me in the ass i twisted my ankle and i am in irvine had to pop an advil and cruise control all the way back thank god there weren’t many cars lol 0/10 do not recommend
Slept on the couch the past two days to elevate my ankle Glad to be back in bed But i think i might be a little…sick? Fuck Need to grocery shop
Dammit i got called for jury duty
Ok but i twisted my ankle and two recruiters emailed me back the next day so was it really a loss
Week 5 i’m sick…
just watched 5 centimeters per second a little sadder than i was an hour ago
fuck i forgot that my jeans are new and i washed it and my pink shirt is ruined fml triggered
thursday after rolling over ma ankle i can finally see that it is a lil swollen and there is bruising LOL also saw an owl at school today and a bunny while leaving to go to meeting
week 5 tuesday saw two bunnies on my way out to school
I just saw two hummingbirds! 😍
I cant believe yuri and i finished twenty SMH
ABCD today Some qualitee photos were taken Im tired now
Really debating the 4th term
third day of back pain flexibility dying wow what is happening???
…..army 4th term is $75 cries EDIT: it’s $66 because i forgot exchange rate but still cri EDIT EDIT: it’s $45 if i ship it to taiwan - seriously really highkey considering that now oh dear
bro i think i just experienced katawaredoki whut
i keep thinking that my ankle is ok but i always end up doing something that ends up hurting it like hella im
Week 6 thursday last leadership meeting one of my favorite meetings because whoa INFORMATION!? it was nice wanted to discuss and add in my two cents but i honestly just wasn’t able to wrap my head around everything loool then…we decided to go to PB LOL chen, jeong, yuri, justin and his friends (including nicole, nicole, sandy) and then more people. we also met leslie, brett, dexter, allison, kenny, peter, abby, ben…and more? at pb lolol and also we saw miguel and anthony - it was like a freshman year flashback tbh lOL went to vallartas after and then came home to shower and finally sleep at 3:30am wot is life NEXT DAY ADVENTURES - leighton and i finally pulled out the weeds and now we’re tired
salty that i wasnt invited to the birthday celebration, not that i would really make the trip per say but wtf gurl
I just had this really sad thought that i’m probably never gonna ever get to know bts like friends y i do dis to meself
Wait so like i got sick while at clew’s and it didnt happen until week 5 and so i was sick from week 5 through week 6 and at this one point i couldnt taste my food it was terribad
May 12th I bought the membership LOL Hopefully it mails it correctly back to Taiwan ☺️
im dumb i didn’t save the color i wanted for my hair
omg the song vania recommended to me a few days ago was recommended by jungkook like a year or so ago on twitter lOOOOL
Just tryna level up here :<
Struggles when places are in the east coast and phone calls are early in the fckin morning
Note to self: Ridge cut potato chips with sea salt is good for stuff with dip Ridge cut salt and pepper is good for regular eating, but gets salty at the bottom LOL EDIT: per vania’s suggestion, i salted and peppered my chips
watching jungkook’s vlive AND HE JUST HARMONIZED WITH HIMSELF IM DED
Just woke up from a dream where someone hurt my brother/nade him fall and i was so angry? Was about to go ape shit on that person im ded lol who is rhis angry me
Rewatched and finished reply 1997 Wow what is life when yoon jae is life But also what is life when your idols are life Daily reminder to not be as obsessed as shiwon LOLOL
i can’t go to giraffage and elephante anymore im on the otherhand i get to go to virginia???
lol but like i haven’t been writing drafts because i often write in my notebook now but here are some updates - my nails are constantly chipping - forgot about grad photos that clashed with the weekend han is coming - im ded because i probs won’t have a weekend to myself until week 10 - struggles to figure out graduation things - paid my $54 to walk #mostexpensivewalkever
LAST LEADERSHIP MEETING (turnover) what am i going to do with my thursday nights now? it’s been a good run
Jealous of the staff that holds and records the camera during vlives? LOL who am i
When you forget that jeon jungkook did taekwondo before Hnnnngh
i just reaffirmed? or discovered? that i don’t like fruity pebbles o_o
Trying to think of a thing to put on my grad cap Tis hard Let’s make a list: 花樣年華 Strong power thank you You never walk alone Ireumeun deborah LOL Lol omg but why is yoongi’s “cheater never win but i just graduated” quote so appropriate for grad EXTRA + ORDINARY* Lost my way/found my way* Click clack to the bang Smile with me, cry with me, fly with me (you make me begin, you made me again) Ctrl+c, ctrl+v do you know “____” (hci? annyeonghasaeyo) To lose your path, Is the way to find that path* 꽃길만 걷자* Let’s fly with our beautiful wings in 2017 EDIT: i’m too lazy, i didn’t do anything to my cap lOL
Im shookt cause namjoon doesnt say 이제 feelin the vibe. HE SAYS IF YOU FEELIN THE VIBE. I feel…betrayed
Non whitewashed bangtan gives me life
May 21st My first haircut since… Since i got it cut over the summer?????
Bought me stole and tassel today Smh that i cant grab my muir tickets?? Cause i ordered all commencwment tickets SMH
Lowkey afraid of not passing mgt LOL
Omfg i knew we were going to have a pop quiz. It really happened
nicole and evelyn commented that they liked my hair and audrey and malia agreed i gotta say i’m so glad people remember me in my tdpw class LOOL
Cant get the seventeen song outta my head Shookt by the choreography
Y'all im so fckin shookt First the chainsmokers post on twitter like “see you in the summer” Then they win the BBMAs like a boss Then you see them on halsey + steve aoki’s snapchat Next things you know steve aoki is postin shit like “BTS x AOKI COMING SOON” Im SCREAMING
Yo my lyft driver dropped some knowledge again and told me his life story lmao he was a police officer in chicago and he was forced to retired and then ?? after chasing down a rapist and getting into a fight, he was seriously injured. but his dad (a judge or someone powerful idk) forced him out of retirement by telling everyone to not give him his benefits and shit and i was like. whoa bro. slow down? “embrace the unknown”
I finally tried the coconut black tie at peet’s 10/10 a mistake
Okay but can we talk about how on point everybody looked in the comeback Esp wonwoo and dk But also vernon 👌🏼
First time in virginia/ being so close to washington dc! Whoa Also gonna pass by texas too :O Knocking some states off my list
I WITNESSED MY FIRST CIRCLE RAINBOW THINGY ON THE PLANE FROM VIRGINIA TO DALLAS TODAY HOLY IT WAS V COOL
i don’t know why i never realized this about myself before but i need to be/live by a body of water at all times or i won’t feel comfortable this is weird
i told han i joined the fanclub and he like died for like 2 seconds lOL
ok but like i bought a carton of eggs and 6 or 7 of them were double yolks and i have 2 more eggs left im starting to think i’m eating some weird hybrid chickens EDIT: those last two eggs were both double yolks. this was a wild adventure
omg i knew that the TA MOST LIKELY RYAN WOULDNT UNDERSTAND OUR IDEA JUST LIKE HOW HE ALWAYS MISINTERPRETS THEM??? like what kind of constructive feedback is that if he doesn’t understand what we’re trying to do im… sigh
Already excited about the festa But like omfg they released the schedule today And just WE DONT TALK ANYMORE PT 2?? SO FAR AWAY FEATURING JIN AND JUNGKOOK? Im IM SCREAMING also sad but the radio show is right before my finals gotta prioritize, no bts fo me ;__;
after waiting two weeks, my application to get leveled up was rejected *cries* time to try again! *^*
okay but really feeling seventeen’s song as well as suran’s song like hIGHKEY
i finally got my commencement tickets the third time that i went to the bookstore third time’s the charm right? also whytf is the parking pass for all campus commencement so huge -_-
hnngh omg that feel when you have hella shit to do TPDW1 final play due week 9 friday because we won’t have class at all on week 10 then there’s the presentation (elevator pitch) that happened today week 9 thursday but also just hauling ass on things for A5 tbh what is this what is everything wot is the meaning of life when vania and i stay up till 3:30am lol… and then there’s me. tired af but didn’t sleep til 4:30 anyways cause i’m a dumbass l e l let’s not be a potato this last week k?
burger king in pc has its own free wifi called WhopperWifi and it’s so much faster than school wifi this is revolutionary
week 9 weekend to irvine irritated on the way over irritated on the way back lol wot is life i should’ve just turned around to go back home
NO TDPW1 WEEK 10 WOOT wow that means i won’t have class until 2pm whoa
“why are you reading math formulas” - yuri i was actually reading bts profiles lOLOL she just dissed their handwritings
Just spent the past hour or so looking at kakao friends merchandise And discovering that apeach is a genetically modified peach lol
that moment when you ask for a png file but get a jpg
dyed my hurr twice today for a darker shade still not what i was going for but this will do for now
Omfg i slept through my alarm until 1pm Goodbye study time?? Also omg i like it pt 2 video SHIT SHIT SHIT THEY KNOW WE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS. HAD IT SINCE BAEPSAE DAYS. BUT DIDNT RELEASE IT. Freakin bighit
My request to level up on the fancafe has once again been rejected ); EDIT: oMFG IT’S BECAUSE I DIDN’T CHANGE THE SETTING TO SOMETHING im screaming, what a first world problem THIRD TIME’S THE CHARM AMIRITE
Doesnt feel like it… But thursday was my last time going to class…pretty much like ever unless i go to more school Holy shit
Oh man I didnt think i’d have THAT much shit. But…i think i have A LOT of shit….
saw bts MBIT and i was like omfg! knew that i was INFJ but took the test again yesterday and ended up INFP….but just barely P so i think i’ll stick with INFJ lol EDIT: i took the test again today because vania and yuri were talking about it again and i am still INFP…and more P this time. SO LOST. WHO AM I
put my things up for sale i forgot that i might need my light el oh el crying on the inside cause i want to keep my desk but then i’m selling it off because i don’t think i’ll have space for it and i just CRYING ON THE INSIDE BECAUSE IT’S BEEN WITH ME FOR SO LONG T^T
ON ANOTHER NOTE. THIRD TIME IS THE CHARM LEVELED UP ON JUNE 12TH AT ONE SOMETHING AM
JUNE 12TH FINISHED MY FIRST AND LAST FINAL I AM OFFICIALLY DONE WITH MY UNDERGRADUATE CAREER??? also lmao i spent 45 min on the final wot
i dyed my hair darker but now it’s become lighter? wait wtf wait no go back EDIT: wait no it went back to being dark? is this a thing? when i get exposed to the sun it gets lighter and when i sleep it gets darker??? smh at light for fckin with me
so i set an alarm to watch the bts home party last night for like 3:57am and i didn’t hear it but i guess i kinda did cause i woke up at 4:05am and was like ??? i decided to watch a bit of it but ended up streaming the whole thing until 5:45am looooool also watched the numbers grow from the 500,000 all the way to 2,000,000 and then 3,000,000? it was nuts
omfg all these years of rereading chapters and only now do i realize that i could save bookmarks on mangahere *slaps forehead*
Moment of silence cause i sold my desk that’s accompanied me for almost 10 years It even has battlescars (aka X marks by Jacky, 3 of them) LOL memories ;___; Oh and i guess my chair too
lol was gonna sell that yamaha guitar for $45 but it’s going for like $190 on ebay?? so ima just bring it home
finals week hangout list: tuesday: fud with kimberly, peyton, harry wednesday: more fud with stephanie and ellius thursday: KBBQ FOR LUNCH with jeong, justin, yuri, harry LOOOOL
and so...that’s the end of the quarter. my last quarter of school ever (unless i decide to go to more school...which seems unlikely as of right now) it feels weird.................................. but! onto graduation~ looking forward to being reunited with family and whatever’s gonna hit me in the face LOL
and with that goodbye undergrad, hello world ㅇㅅㅇ
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