#it feels kinda weird thinking about it bc i went through *so much stuff*

[yinyuedijun]

okay maybe i’m toxic or didn’t pick up the hints but can you maybe elaborate more on what makes the readers behavior w aventurine manipulative? bc i feel like lwk i would do the same but i didn’t realize it was bad behavior 😭😭😭 like if he was saying stuff in his sleep i didn’t understand i would totally try to translate it 😭😭 and how they know he might not be comfortable w doing some things like teaching them avgin but asking anyway i took it as a bid for connection almost?? IDK im just gobsmacked bc i totally thought i was a healthy secure individual but if this is toxic behavior maybe im not 😭😭

FKDJSAKSHJA I won't lie anon I love getting chonky questions about my fics so thank you for reaching out about your confusion with this particular subject . in your defense I understand why it might be confusing on a first read because it IS fundamentally a story about two lovers wanting connection. the catch is that they are too messed up to actually achieve it in a mutual manner 😞

SADLY I must write an essay about this because I'm unbearable. but before I do I'd like to share screenshots from a couple of my readers (SHOUTOUT TO LEEHI ANON AND MIN !) that explains it succinctly

okay now my unbearable essay

so basically. I think the mc's first weird thing that they did was wanting to know what aventurine was saying in his sleep and not just asking him LMFAOOO instead they fucking went about learning it in a roundabout way, without his permission, and just did not care about his boundaries gkdhdsldhsmsj

but while that is whack dishonest behaviour, the real crux of the manipulation in this dynamic is that the reader gave the impression to aventurine that he would be able to understand them better via language exchange, but they set him up for failure in this regard. from the outset, they had no intention of revealing anything about their inner world to him because they planned to deceive him in their native tongue. on the other hand, through learning aventurine's mother tongue, they are able to access a deeply vulnerable part of him. and they do it without him knowing.

so they use this knowledge of his mother tongue and his weakness to it to manipulate him into treating them better: crying in it to gain his pity (just as they did with their captors) and asking for gestures of affection using his language because they know he can't say no. they can use his first language to control him, but aventurine cannot do the same. it's very one-sided.

but as you said, it's ultimately a bid for connection. and they resort to this behaviour to achieve connection because, put frankly, aventurine has already created a one-sided dynamic where he has killed any potential for true connection. like tl;dr he really does treat them like garbage 😭😭😭 the mc just got kinda tired of that and wanted to girlboss him back so that he'd be actually affectionate to them. though they also just want to find a way to make him happy.

ANYWAY SORRY THIS WAS SO LONG.... thank you for reading my fic . I appreciate you so much!!!!!!

#yueshuo.asks #asks.anon

[sludgeguzzler]

man. i changed so much these past years

#im different from last years me who was different from 2021 me who was different from 2020 me and so on and so forth #it feels kinda weird thinking about it bc i went through *so much stuff* #all of it in just the past 4 years... insane #i found out i was trans. i went on lockdown. i started posting my art online. i made online friends. #i went through three different relationships. every single one of them changed me forever. #i started writing. i finished middle school. i read homestuck. i used discord everyday for 2 years. #i found my personal sense of style. i started going tk school again. i made friends irl. i lost all the online friends i had. #(thay wasnt bc of any scandal i just left the friendgroup and then started to slowly interact more with ppl irl #whi sorta made my online interactions dwindle especially one-on-one interactions #i think i feel better like this go be honest with you. the connections feel stronger and i feel closer to the friends ive made #not saying i dont like the people i know and befriended here just saying that not being chronically online anymore really changed how i #go through with internet interactions) #damn. really feeling the passage of time now. #also this is not a sad reminiscent post im *really* glad im in the place i am in life right now #i have a qpp i have an irl friendgrouo that i feel 100% comfortable with for the first time in my life im doing ok at school #i have a vision for my future my relationship with my parents is sooo much better #idk man. compare that with 14 year old me eating alone at school bc i was too scared to talk with the other people on my class and like. #yeah man. im doing a lot better #i DO have to update my art blog though. its been too long sincd i posted anything #talk

[chloenadine]

not 2 be controversial but I don't think I like the tl*u show

#ive had a day to think about it and idk #like some parts were good but other parts were meh #like if we're talking about it being one of the better video game adaptations that yeah its ok #is it like the most amazing piece of media ever? idk #I wrote out a whole thing and then erased bc it was kinda nonsensical and rambling and stuff #but basically like #I feel like there was too much time spent on adding extra bg info and not enough on actual canon scenes #and the bg info and world building was kinda weak?? #obv I was expecting context and extra info and an expanded story but #didn't tie into the already existing story well #some of the characterizations felt off to me #weirdly paced and weird transitions #etc etc #d.txt #i didnt go into this as a hater like i was kinda excited but i am one anyway #I went through the tag and only saw like 1 person who didn't like it so idk #maybe I'll feel differently next episode the trailer looked more interesting #or maybe im just not good with things that are reboots or adaptations or whatever #idk im tired snzzz

[banamine-bananime]

AITA for trying to save my friend and keep the rest of my asshole friends safe from their bad decisions?

I (M26) just went through this real shitty breakup. So basically, my ex C (M lmao man fuck if i know his age idek if knows it. or has one i guess) has this god-fucking-awful habit of deciding to solve every problem by dying about it and/or fucking off without so much as a word to the people unfortunate enough to give a shit about him, except maybe his sister (unhelpful for the rest of us because she also inherited the "fucking off without a word" gene. man fuck this whole family for making me care about them. whatever). Also, killing himself inside peoples brains thats like a whole hobby for him. like okay either ghost us OR kill yourself in front of us altering the trajectory of our lives forever PICK ONE like a NORMAL person.

Okay wait im not explaining this well. So years ago C and W (M37 now) were partners but C was, uh, in a really bad place mentally (S is telling me this is more diplomatic to say than "crazy af") and that situationship ended as badly as a situationship can end. I mean W's told me he pretty much had his sense of identity as someone separate from C totally destroyed by that for a while, which like, in hindsight its kinda an accidental dick move that our team made him take C's legal identity, but in our defense a) the fuck were we supposed to know?, b) tbf he really did need it not to go back to prison, c) it's not like C was using his identity, on account of the fucking off and effectively-dying-as-a-solution habits, and d) i mean. i gotta admit it's also pretty funny in a really fucked way.

aw shit derailed on a tangent again

recently its just like, we just get so focused on one thing its hard to remember anything else, you know?

S is so good at getting us back on track though. thank god because you would not believe the number of irons weve got in the fire to keep track of, its ridiculous. (i love making my partner be the planner in the relationship lol. highly recommend being a passenger princess in the body sometimes. fuck massages, i'm telling you THIS is what you need after a long day getting shit DONE and taking care of everyone else's messes)

So I met C 6 years ago, right out of basic, when we were privates stationed at the same base. middle of nowhere. shit, this is gonna be hard to explain, just realized i should use different names for C to keep them straight. I knew "A" and W knew "E", i didnt meet E until years later. theyre alters and also the same guy but also not the same guy. dont worry about it if you dont get it bc ive dated both of them and i dont think i do. my life is stupid.

Bunch of bullshit happened, A ghosted (lol. you'd be high-fiving me if you knew him) and then found a problem to solve by dying. you get it by now.

Then i meet E, E encounters a problem and tries to die about it round one (i guess round two, after exploding in W <- LOL. you should be high-fiving me right now), E's sister drags him back to the land of the living, E ghosts, W and i start dating, W tries to martyr himself and disappears because i guess E rubbed off on him (dude i am on a fucking roll. you should be high-fiving me out of pity for my glamorously miserable soap-opera life if nothing else. homophobic not to), our team gets W back, E strolls back like he has no idea why im mad at him, we fight about it, makeup-makeouts about it, and E tries to die about it round two: in my brain boogaloo.

So thats how S and i meet. oops, guess i never introduced S? Feels weird to have to introduce ourself twice, people dont really meet us separately anymore LOL. S (M, ageless) is also C's alter, my partner in life and badassery and brain and body. and obviously freaky sex stuff, that goes without saying but i'm saying it anyway to brag. the swish swish to my stabbing people who really deserve it. Not really interested in your opinion on our relationship, it's not what i'm asking about. we're aware its not conventional, because we're not fucking braindead. Im so sick of all the "oooohhhhh this isn't healthy", "he's a male manipulator and youre codependent i know bc i learned psychology from tiktoks by girls with green hair", "why are you wearing your ex-boyfriend's armor colors while wearing his dead ex-boyfriend's armor while dating and sharing a brain with your dead mutual ex's alter", "have you considered going to therapy instead of a quest against death itself" blah blah blah. If youre so bored you need to judge our life then just get your own 🙄🙄🙄

we've been really on that sigma grindset the last few weeks. S has got our sleep optimized down to a tight triphasic 3.46 hours and we're minmaxing the fuck out of the rest of every day. Biohacked to shit over here. too much to do, so we have to make there be enough of our time to do it. who else is gonna? my teammates? the REDS? we're half batman half babysitter to a gaggle of idiots who can barely be trusted to wipe their own asses, let alone fight their own battles and make decisions like "wah wah wah A is dead let's just give up and cry about it or whatever".

Don't even get me started on W. Oh youre all about character-building wake up and grind self-improvement and taking leadership until we're making decisions you dont like, i guess. WHATEVER. this is why we dont listen to you.

its hard, okay. like, you cant understand the sheer fucking stress were under trying to keep all our plans going smoothly while keeping these guys safe while they're basically actively trying to unravel every carefully-laid thread and also strangle themselves in them. im probably going prematurely grey and also losing some time. its hard to remember when we need to hold back and use the kiddy gloves. i really didnt want to come to holding - uh, we'll call him MC (M25) - by the throat, passed-out. he's like a brother to me, been through thick and fucking thin together, so yeah, i feel really bad about that, my bad, we were the asshole there, but like, maybe stop throwing yourself in the way? like run out into the road you're gonna get hit by a truck no matter how hard they slam the brakes. mfw the conses quence. but im NOT asking about that. everyone's been on our dick about "please god stop doing all of this" and abandoning A and trying to break us up way before that, and THAT'S what im asking about

Anyways tl;dr are we the asshole for getting shit done when it takes methods that all our monday morning quarterback friends dont like

_____

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

it really was a dick move to dangle my teammate's limp body in a chokehold even though it was basically an accident and also not even directly relevant to the question

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might not be the asshole:

okay but we're right

#red vs blue #rvb restoration #lavernius tucker

[riveracheron]

eh. might as well post this now. a few of these are wish fulfillment rather than actual theorizing but explanations under the cut

i have an alchemy hyperfixation and all the alchemy stuff in tmagp makes me very excited so a lot of my theories are related to that

spoilers for the pilot btw

main character gets an eye injury - the image will not leave my head. in the magnus institute ruins statement there was this whole thing about redcanary having some kind of encounter with or experience with eye trauma and that feels like something thats just. gonna come up again

another mechanisms va - self explanatory, we need to complete the set. would love to hear kofi or rachel.

gwen has trauma related to something that happened with elias - this is going on the theory that she’s not elias’ counterpart, but a relative of some kind. something spooky happens to him and that pushes gwen to research the paranormal.

character referencing nicholas flamel - all the main characters have names that reference alchemists, and nicholas flamel is probably the most famous alchemist of all time. i doubt he’ll be given the smirke treatment because that kinda already happened with the transphobic wizard books, but someone could be sharing his name.

mag 114 statement is relevant - thats the. hill top road statement that deals with other realities, and anya (the statement giver) could be from the protocol verse. we could totally hear about the aftermath of her departure

alice/sam/gwen = three primes - the three main alchemical symbols on the OIAR crest, and a good sort of symbolic trio sorter. the three peimes are salt, sulphur and mercury, and are the basis for alchemy. the down to earth, reliable salt, the firey, unpredictable sulfur, and the adaptable, easygoing mercury. i think these could apply i just want to have it called out in universe

lena is a good person - i don’t think they’d pull the evil boss thing twice. i just think lena’s weird mannerisms are from her autistic swag

celia is related to or is agnes - (related to as in. her story involves agnes, not that shes like. a sister.) this comes from a theory by @/pinklotjeart, i think. basically: through the way her death was described (spark returned to the lightless flame) and some timeline discrepancies and general avatarness making it weird, agnes might not be Dead dead. and celia’s counterpart, lynne - well, she saw a fire ghost. also, both her and agnes are the only non one-off characters who have shakespeare names afaik. agnes MONTAGUE, celia from as you like it…

annabelle cane is related somehow - self explanatory, she was at hilltop road when everything went down. might have been pulled in.

a famous alchemist is robert smirke’d - self explaining, give me more canon historical figures jonny

another kitty cat - i want more kitty in podcast is that a crime

augustus is not jonah - we hear jonah’s voice as ben meredith in 193, so im skeptical that tim fearon’s character is jonah for that reason.

oiar group has a messy moment that devolves into actual physical violence - mmm angst i think they deserve to smack eachother around a bit

bonzo cult - yeah.

oiar found family - we got the group of coworkers that hate each other angst last time gimme the “hurting one to get to the others” and self sacrifice angst this time

colin dies early - mmmm i cant say much about this bc its based on one throwaway line at the MCM panel where jonny doesn’t mention colin in the main character group. so . death flags.

oiar is containing the entities scp style - this was a super early theory of mine, either this or theyre using them for power or energy in some way. even more heavy handed capitalism metaphors yay

someone gets ushanka’d - its computer horror: the podcast. that’s all

cookbook statement - a few clues in the ARG had to do with cookbooks, and alex and jonny have already said they’re getting weird with the statement formats (they mentioned an insurance report!) so. cookbook doesn’t seem too far-fetched

tiktoker/influencer character - archives was 2010s and they had a podcaster and youtuber, which were like. the big things. whats the hip trend now??? instagram and tiktok baybee

protocol editors va a small role a la mag 100 or the wtgfs cult - those characters were voiced by other rq team members (ie helen as laverne and martyn as robin) and the team has since expanded!! some editors dis stuff for cry havoc, so im guessing nico, annie, april and others will get a small role!

a villain’s goal is creating the philosopher’s stone or other alchemical thing - tmagp is heavily inspired by alchemy, and the philosopher’s stone was the main goal of alchemy!! it would grant you eternal knowledge snd the ability to turn lead into gold- which seems like a good. evil dude’s ambition

the desolation gets more focus - the institute burned down, the oiar crest has a lot of sulfur symbols (the fire element), alchemy as a whole having to do with fire, celia and her connection- it paints a very. lightless flame picture

trip to germany - a lot of the arg was set in and around berlin, and there was that exchange between sam and colin about german in the pilot! i could see a germany trip happening in the same way jon took a trip to china and america.

#the magnus protocol #tmagp #the magnus protocol spoilers #tmagp spoilers

[ganondoodle]

this isnt as long as before but i just cannot stop thinking about this, why i dislike story and lore boils down to these main point

--the ending feels unsatisfying as hell even if i ignore everything i dont like about how the game treated zelda and ganondorf, the ending itself just feels, despite being presented as super epic an touching, incredibly empty to me and part of it is that it feels like an unearned return to status quo of course i didnt think zelda would stay a dragon and i actually wanted to help her, which is why i kept trying to hunt down impa since she said shes gonna search for a way for us to help zelda, bc i wanted to!! i was eager to help her!

i fully hoped and kinda expected that thered either be some kind of dragon dungeon (think, the water dragon from okami) tho that would be difficult since you can get items from her so i ended up thinking before going into the end thered be a mission with impa (or at least given to you from her) where she found answers in ancient scripts (that she told you she would look through) and that you need to find a special lil thing that will help zelda undragonfy, like some sort of ultra secret forbidden enigma stone able to reverse dragon transformations kinda deal (golden opportunity to make you go and talk to the yiga bc they might know or even own some ancient texts) that youd keep in your inventory until the very end and after you kill dragondorf (pretty mortal for becoming an immortal dragon huh) you take it out and use it, undragonfying zelda and ending in a similar epic falling and paralel to the beginning way

... and instead impa stays in the house and only has a few repeating dialog boxes and does nothing and you cant do anything bc in the end you just get randomly teleported (and stripped of your clothing AGAIN) into some weird ethereal plane somehow?? with the ghost of long ass dead sonia and apparently not as gone as i thought rauru (seriously i felt sad when he went poof at the end of the tutorial but i guess i shouldnt have) awkwardly blasting dragon zelda with some magic tm and its all reversed no problem (heck me for caring i guess) turns out helping her was killing an evil guy we never really knew and mineru just kinda says lol its bc time and light magic i guess lol as an explanation

like i really wanted to go and help zelda! i was motivated to do it and spent HOURS trying to find impa again but i wasnt allowed to do anything bc zelda gets saved by some deus ex machina bs in the end anyway, what a fool i was, of course killing the evil guy is the solution to everything >:( (and no i dont care if its meant as in uwu sonia and rauru wanted to help one last time uwu bc it doesnt change how unsatisfying it was to watch it all just kinda happen)

--point two is just how much totk feels like its trying to REPLACE botw instead of being a sequel, its not building on anything of it its ripping out the fundation and building its own thing in its place, like i was so excited to see what happened to the titans, and all the sheikah tech what they mabe had done in all that time now that theres a tech enthusiastic girl as the head of the monarchy, maybe even find out more about them and instead its just all ... gone with not explanation? theres isnt even a LAME explanation, its just gone?? you never find out what the ancient energy actually was, and why there were concentrations of it in the regions with the ancient furnace (well heck it didnt even have anything to do with ganondorf actualyl bc that would have been too interesting) bc that was so intrigueing?? like yeah where DID it come from and why is it there ?? and oh suddendly hey look theres an even MORE ancient and even MORE advanced civilization thats way COOLER and BETTER than the ancient sheikah now, they also built stuff everywhere and have been here ALL ALONG cant you see its everywhere!! and its the only thing everyone cares about all of the sudden, all evdidence of the ancient sheikah tech was scraped of the earth so there literally only being some guardian parts on top of the hateno lab feels like an oversight now bc everything lese was to thourohgly wiped of the map- for no reason even?? like im totalls fine with it being useless and not working anymore but .... why remove it like it was wiped from history?? and then they have the gall to mention the happenings of botw like, twice in the entire game but still just give you the most basic summary of it mentioned on a sidenote with again not even a hint what happened to all of it

wouldnt there have been the golden opportunity to use it to access the new parts and map points that changed?? like a shrine thats fallen into the underground, an access to caves and the underground in the broken and collapsed elevator tube of a sheikah srhine?? maybe even a broken interior of an old shrine, like the room you get put into with the puzzle and where the monk once were broken and half overgrown in the udnerground? some left over construction site where you can see oh thats how the ancient sheikah got all that tech underground, bc they all had access to it and built it there to then rise up when its needed? maybe even making use of the old sonau sites since they frequnetly built their srhines within those ruins?? that the ancient sheikah found em and put the ruins to use? to research it and built their own stuff from it? it wouldnt have to have any focus, literally just part of the enviroment even

really everything totk does is like -forget botw ever happend, look how much cooler and better i am, who cares about sheikah stuff sonau are the new cool guys that came out of nowhere but now apparently have been everywhere all along actually-

i LOVE botw and with it feeling much more like its attempting to replace botw instead of building its story and world further every reference to botw i found felt like a slap in the face instead, oh look where the shrine of life used to be isnt even a hint left of sheikah tech somehow, and also right under it is the lake of healing filled with sonau structure bc ACTUALLY they were here FIRST bc they are so cool omg you guys

dare i say it feel a little like they wanted to make an entirely different version of botw basically, but wanted to reuse the map and models so they just said yeah uhhhh its totally a sequel yeah yeha that makes sense, its not erasing botw and doing essentiall the same thing again but bigger cooler and better (tm) its just uuh a ...sequel ye.

#ganondoodles talks #totk spoilers #totk #sorry i got longer again #also what was calamtiy ganon then #if it was ganondorf trying to resurrect himself outside of the seal then ... wouldnt he ... mention it or something or anyoone no? #also dont like how all the teasers made it seem like there was soem great mystery as to how gan got down there- #.. actually how DID he get down there thats a pretty weird place to go to war too #-aynway and WHO did this to him omg he looks in pain maybe theres more to it alll omg #and then its just ... yeah cool guy tm sealed him #oh ... ok #why would you tease us with a good time then bring stale chips and an empty beer can you have brought with you three times before already #like i get we love to read more into stuff that isnt there #but they were oh so vageu with the teasers and stuff we got to see when its all just #the same schlok but even more tasteless than before

[zephyra-in-the-house]

Helloo! I wanted to say that I loved second chances sm, when I found a random chapter last year I read the entire fic in a couple days bc I had to know what happened next, then reread it every now and then while waiting for the updates

I like how we can see both sides of the coin with shadowpeach, how they both care but are still struggling for different yet similar reasons, their struggle with what they went through, dealing with each other's personality traits and habits(their own too) that are still hard to let go of, the glimpses of the consequences of the punishments and their backstory in general

And maybe it's a me thing, but I feel like your Wukong acts like he's a bit aro spec, maybe demi aromantic, and I love that he does, especially while still explicitly loving(and like longing for?) Mac sm

I got that feeling after rereading one of the conversations shadowpeach had in the kitchen when Wukong said something about just wanting to be near Mac, and having him as his best friend was so great kinda like there couldn't possibly be anything better

I know it's probably to show how he grew up, or his personality, and that he's dense (specifically when it comes to reading Mac's feelings towards him) but I feel that just adds to the similarities with the aro experience bc there's a side of the aro community that is blind to more romantic stuff, and romantic-coded gestures or more intimate closeness is just closeness all the same

And your Wukong gives me the impression that he just wanted Mac to be close to him, didn't matter what kind of close, and that he holds the title of "best friend" as a really special thing. Be it BECAUSE of Mac, or maybe since before becoming friends with him, like not just anybody would be his best friend (Also it was maybe to show his trust issues, but still)

I think Wukong said somewhere that he just wanted Mac to be happy to be around him, as happy as SWK was to be around Mac. And I know his inability to put his feelings(love) into words more than referring to a strong or special friendship is probably to show that he's not good with Feelings™, but I like to think that maybe he is enamored in the way a queer platonic love would feel like, so calling it a strong or special friendship kinda does cut it to some degree I think

Also the way Mei (everyone really, but she's more expressive about it, and we see her more than other characters) sees Wukong as a hopeless case, but I think Wukong would see Mac loving him strongly in any way as the best thing ever, as long as it's strong love, he wouldn't mind, love is love, like he just wants to be as special to Mac as Mac is to him

Also I'd love to see them be together even if they don't have the same kind of love for each other, bc the love they have for each other would still be just as strong, and would let them have just as strong of a bond, (in the future, as things are going I have hope, I do hope they end up together in this universe, even if nothing of what I'm saying fits them by the end)

I mean no disrespect to your original idea, or if that's not what u intended, I tried looking through your blog and I haven't found any mention of something similar or headcanons about it

But yeah, idk if u mind ppl putting headcanons on your stories? Some ppl do mind, so idk I just wanted to say that regardless of that hc of mine, I think how you write them is so cool and interesting, and I find that about Wukong really cool even if it's not really where the story is heading and it's been really fun to reread

Also sorry for the weird english, it's not my first language ^^'

First things first:

Thank you so much for reading and commenting!

I absolutely love in depth analysis like this it's so interesting to read and to hear what people think of my story. I 100% love writing this story specifically because it demonstrates how these two are completely different and yet eerily similar people who are just struggling to reconnect with other people despite them both having their flaws and traumatic experiences. It's really fun to write and explore and I absolutely love everything that you said here about it~

Duuude!! I fuckin looooveeee that headcanon! Holy shit that's so awesome! Honestly, I didn't even realize I was writing Wukong that way but now that it's been pointed out I can totally see it!

As someone who is kind of on the ace spectrum, I think I may have just subconsciously made it that way. Just like every other author I know, I have a habit of adding my own traumas/ideologies to my stories so I really shouldn't be too surprised LOL

But don't worry! I don't mind people making headcanons about my story~ In fact, that's my favorite part of writing is seeing how people interpret the story and seeing how they formulate it into drawings or headcanons like this! It's so cool!

Initially, my intention was to write Wukong as being oblivious/in denial about his own feelings and in general just bad with feelings. However, I really love your idea too! It's definitely one of those things where Wukong is just happy to be around Macaque. Macaque is "his person", the one he feels happy and comfortable around, the one he feels he can be open and honest around... and yeah I just realized how much that sounds like the beginnings of a queer platonic relationship LMAO

In any case!

I absolutely love your analysis and I 100% agree that Wukong would be okay with Macaque loving him in any way, shape, or form so long as Macaque feels as safe and comfortable and happy as Wukong himself feels when they're together. ❤❤

Thank you for reading!

#lego monkie kid #second chances #shadowpeach #lego macaque #lego sun wukong #fanfic #lmk macaque #lmk sun wukong #They're so in love #They make me sick #“They're holding hands... I want them dead” /ref

[manicpixiedckgirl]

okay, so i posted a timeline. sue me! i quit all other social media last year and needed that dopamine hit. just a lil nicotine patch for online attention. seasonal depression is a bitch okay. i posted it here and to ig, bc ig is to late millennials what facebook is boomers. and people have all said some very nice things, but when you're posting a 10 year timeline, you're usually hoping for someone from your past to see it and go "woah! you're so different now"!

and whaddya know, this time it worked. one of my exes from when i was a teenager saw it. not one of the ones who turned out to be a lesbian, one of the ones who turned out to be a trans man. He just wanted to say hi - that he was so happy to see that i looked happy, and that i looked incredible, especially compared to the scruffy twink they had dated. (okay those are my words not his)

he and I didn’t have a great relationship at first - no one had a great relationship with me before i realized i was a trans woman obviously, but this was pretty young. I was really repressed and weird back then, and still very much without any social graces, and we were only like 16. they caught the full broadside of my emo fuckboy energy and got out fast once they saw that - i don’t blame them. I was crying in their arms about how much i hated my new body hair, and how i wanted to be able to wear dresses, and the next day i’d be completely emotionally unavailable and denying all of it. not exactly boyfriend material, not entirely boyfriend. They were very traumatized too in their own way, just realizing they were trans too, and engaging in a lot of ‘i want to be a gay man’ antics, fucking their way through the pain. He was frankly way too cool and sexually liberated to be wasting his time with that version of me. And it was very obvious to everyone who knew what that was 12-15 years ago that i was a closeted trans girl. we had a friend group that eventually fell apart, and we parted for the first time.

Later, in our late teens/20, we would end up fucking - i had started to accept and announce that my gender was complicated, and i was starting to be kinda faggy and loud about it, and not everyone hated that, and they had just started T and were boy horny. We split a bottle of wine (or was it two? It was probably two) and started watching an ashley tisdale movie. Looking back on it, how it went must definitely have been his plan, but i’ve always been blind about this stuff and was that night. It was definitely bad sex, but it was also fun sex - the first time I enjoyed myself,  and the pressure of having to be a guy wasn’t so overwhelming i didnt effectively black out. he’s one of the first people i ever talked to about feeling complicated about gender, and i think by then he had figured me out, and was just letting me get the rest of the way on my own. I still couldn’t top for him, i never rly could top for anyone, even before estrogen. but we still had fun, with our hands and with our mouths. and then after that, we'd go to art shows and poetry readings and hang out again occasionally, like we talked about doing when we were literal kids, putting on rocky horror in our front rooms.

but life takes you away from people, and he got into film school, and i somehow graduated my chemistry program and moved to the US. he moved to Germany for a while, although i hear he's back home. i got married, got separated, there was a global pandemic. we hadn't talked in years, although i had snooped on him once or twice. He’s a director now - he’s made some impressive arthouse films, all horror and gender and kitchy campy cerebral themes. He’s got a big tv writing credit on the way in irish tv. Idk - it felt rly good to impress him, to say hi, to remember. it's really cool to see other trans people thriving and living life, always. anyone who cleaves reality to themselves and fashions themselves into someone they can love is someone who impresses me. but it's different when it's someone you've known for almost half your life - someone you were a fucked up kid with, not sure if either of you would make it to 18. and to be smiling at each other, looking at 30, and wondering what's next. i'm really proud of the both of us actually. and i needed that today.

#trans #essay #diary

[tazmiilly]

We talk a lot about Parallel!Fiddleford, but what about Parallel!Stanford. I can only imagine how big his ego became after getting pretty much everything he ever wanted.

I hate answering asks like this because they're so needlessly mean, but I don't agree with how you're looking at this. and I really wish people would stop saying this stuff.

(putting the rest under a read more bc I don't want to clog peoples dashboards)

he still goes through a lot? you can't seriously say that just because he didn't end up homeless in the multiverse for 30 years he must've got everything he wanted. he still got betrayed by Bill. he still has to handle that trauma AND the c-ptsd that have worsened because of it.

it rubs me the wrong way anytime someone says something like this. I think after everything he went through, he probably didn't deserve to additionally lose his home, his family and closest loved ones for 3 decades and then to return and face an apocalypse (and then get tortured and then have to forcibly wipe his brother's memory) . it feels like people think he HAS to go through all of this to learn this weird "life lesson".

i don't think there's really an ego problem here that you think there is. he just got lucky. he just didn't end up shoved behind a door to hell that he couldn't open again. he just got to live his life. and it kinda freaks me out that people think that it must've turned him into this awful person.

#ask #the longer I ruminate over the dimension the more I feel like this kind of thing needs to be said #idk he gets a lot nasty comments like this for no reason #bc of that. reblogs are getting locked again

[midnightmah07]

ALRIGHT NOW UR TURN. DETAILED LEOBELLE ROUTE!!!! /nf

HELP DETAILED LEOBELLE.... UHHHHHHHH OK LEMME THINK THIS MIGHT BE A BIT REPETITIVE BECAUSE I TALKED ABOUT SOME OF THESE STUFF ALREADY

Isabelle had always been the odd one out from her family, her father being the only one who truly understood her because he also was ahead of his time while her two sisters made fun of Isa for having her head in the clouds and thinking too much about her books and the betterment of her country. So, because her and her father had this strong bond Isabelle was willing to do what it takes to make him proud and make their countries prosper, which was exactly why she didn't say no to the marriage proposal that was made for her.

Leona honestly didn't like the idea of an arranged marriage just as much as Isa didn't, but different from her who decided to use this situation for the greater good Leona kinda just... Went with it. He didn't like it but like- his brother had already decided anyway so what use was arguing? Plus, look at the bright side, maybe he could move out of his home after he got married. — I have to say I am still searching for a stronger reason as to why Leona just let this happen to him, right now I am using the excuse of his brother thinking this could be so good for Leona and for their country and Leona knew there was no use fighting because his fate had already been decided the moment the letter accepting the offer arrived

Leona and Isa definitely didn't hit it off when they met. They were 17 and 15 respectfully and because of Leona's rudeness and unwillingness to get to know Isa and give her a chance Isabelle didn't like him at all. I wanna say though they do have a sort of enemies to lovers thing going on, a lot of the time it's really one sided, with Leona just being slightly annoyed at Isabelle if anything; as years went on Leona learns of how Isabelle is seen, she's an outcast, different from everyone else and treated like a monster for her Unique Magic, just like he was. He felt a sense of empathy for her but in his own way, never really letting it show a lot.

It was around this time Isabelle's crush on Neige was cut short, and through their conversation both of them learned something: Isabelle was extremely loyal to Leona and their engagement regardless of how she felt, and Leona was able to be kind in his own weird way, offering support when she least expected it.

On Isabelle's end she figured out just how much Leona hated his family life, she figured out that his unwillingness to try and do anything wasn't because he was simply lazy but because of a bigger issue and she started seeing him in a new light. She noticed how incredible he was on his Spelldrive matches, how he seemed like a completely new person, and I assume this was when something started growing inside her hehe

They started being more cooperative with each other, Leona often teasing her just to get a reaction out of her because he thought she was cute as a mouse (heh), and their chess matches started here as well. Still, Leona was a bit closed off, and it all went downhill with his overblot that just caused Isabelle to be worried sick and dump all of her emotions on him, telling him she was so angry at him because he never seemed to want to try anything with her, never seemed slightly interested in her and never made an effort to change. She was scared he could've died and she was never able to sort all of this with him.

I assume after that Leona opens up to her more little by little, and he tries to get his pride down and his walls down. It doesn't happen from night to day but slowly Leona starts showing more and more that he cares about her and make small gestures to tell her he's trying, and that makes her really happy.

A while passes and one day they get caught up with their emotions and kiss, but they pretend it never happened bc Leona? Talking about his feelings? Pfft-- and Isabelle didn't know what to do. They were both unsure. But after a few days both are forced with the reality of their own feelings, and while I'm unsure how they start dating I'm assuming it's probably Leona who tells Isa he loves her, and it happens a while before book 6, just so I can make Isa suffer hehe

Bonus: when Isa reaches 21, the age they're supposed to get married, they travel around the world bc that has always been Isa's dream + Leona wants to stay away from home🤸🏻‍♀️

#💙! mah's answers #💙! barbs<3 #💙! leobelle #THIS IS BIG #BUT U ASKED FOR IT

[calronhunt]

didnt want to be extra annoying and ask this on your art blog so ill settle for just being annoying.. was anything in wac inspired by the life series? like designs or well, anything! discovered ur stuff on youtube and went ooooh and then snooped through all the art i could find and was repeatedly reminded of the sillies that occupy my brain. sorry 2 be weird! ik its the worst question to be asked sorry but its hurting my brain wondering and not knowing

Aw shit ya caught me. I was gonna reveal this fact much later down the line bc ive been kinda open that WAC started out as an AU just not for what. Primarily the reason for secrecy is bc i don't want people to look at this story i put a lot of myself and my experience into and go "I can't believe you tricked me into reading about minecraft men" bc the story has expanded a lot past these intial inspirations.

So before i go into all the inspirations, I wanna make this perfectly clear. WAC's plot is almost completely original, baring some small scenes inspired by events in the Life series and the basic set up. It's a three act story that is mostly about me and my partners problems regarding abuse and personhood. The Life Series au was a starting point and it kinda spiraled out from that lollll.

(Also I saw your other ask and it doesn't bother me at all! Its been something ive wanted to talk about anyway simply bc i find the inspirations funny. Plus I promised myself if someone realized and asked I would talk about it. Also i just love talking about inspiration and seeing how you got from one thing to the next, maybe others would like the same.)

1. "Why are they cats?" This started as an au once again but i felt too embarrassed talking about it publicly as a mcyt au so I gave them cat designs. That's the only reason lol

Lain - Inspired primarily by 3rd life and lim life martyn in regards to both his devotion to the king (ren) and mariner (scott). Lain and Mariner originally started as Majorwood shipping cats but then became more about their unhealthy power dynamics and two people being stuck together it spiraled into what we have now! Especially since I believe Martyn killed Jimmy (Canary) in 3rd life? Or at least scott accuses him as such so that's where that came from.

Mariner - 3rd/lim life scott! His obsession with the sea, his name, his relationship to Canary, his ties to Lain, and his design is pulled from scott. That's about all that's similar now though. His personality is completely different. Hes a shitty fuckinh dude.

Canary - 3rd life Jimmy Solidarity but like fucking barely and just bc hes married to mariner (flower husbands). Took his name from the fandom calling him a canary because he always dies first and that's basically it. Also worked with the bird name theme i was starting to go with

The King - 3rd life ren but again fucking BARELY except for his relationship with Lain and being a king and trying to conquer shit. That's like. It.

Condor - he's just mr good times with scar. Hes like, the closest to his mcyt counterpart probably and im not even sorry. Took primarily from 3rd life and lim life once again though in regards to his relationship with Crane (Cleo), Warbler (bdubs), and Scout (Etho) (and also the fact the group is called the flock is a cheeky callback to the family being called the clockers)

Crane - stated above, Cleo, but only bc shes mom in the clockers family. Nothing else.

Warbler - limlife bdubs but again fucking BARELY. I think the bdubs skin is the most i drew on for her design with the fucked up eye and teeth.

Grouse - mr 3rd life grian. Dating condor because desert duo and feeling indebted to him for that as well. And just. Generally little guy vibes.

Scout - etho. Just for chill vibes. Dating Crabe because hes "dad" in lim life and dating Wolf (Joel) bc of double life halfslab.

Wolf - Primarily last life joel with the living alone in the woods thing and joel just being a like. Maniac in the life series with the murders and such. Dating scout again bc of double life. The her having canary's skull thing is just for my friend who is a big fucked up smallidarity shipper.

Sycamore, coal, and aster are original characters i made specifically for the story.

I would again like to state that the story is BARELY tied to things that happen in the life series, and its mostly my personal experiences and silly thoughts. The silly minecraft men were just the jumping off point and all of their arcs are original so there ya go <3

#ask #waves always crash

[cybersp4ced]

if you wanna, can you explain / infodump about bfdi (i think that’s the name of it??)

the show(?) with the numbers :3

i wanna know more about it bc it seems cool! /positive

you don’t have to answer so dw <3

OHOHOHO srry 4 the wait btw these are Buzy Dayz...

BFDI FUN FACT january 1 is bfdi day

BFDI stands 4 BATTLE FOR DREAM ISLAND

it is a webseries that lives in youtube!!! it has a few seasons. its an object show, in fact, the First Object Show EVER!!!!!

an object show is a show where the characters are objects with faces and limbs lolz.

Its mostly a comedic and chill series, with interesting worldbuilding if you pay attention. Though it seems to be getting serious lately with TPOT!!

On to the seasons!! I will try not to spoil.. WATCH IT!!! /nf but... please?

1: BFDI, 2: BFDI [BFDI Again, went on hiatus but came back recently] 3: IDFB [only has 1 episode? on hiatus 4ever. name is bfdi backwards]

the first seasons! ill just talk abt BFDI in here [and of BFB/TPOT in next section]

Here the contestants were battling for Dream Island! whoever wins gets to own the island which is full of cool stuff, and gets to decide who can get in

It was hosted by Announcer, a robot from space with a text 2 speech voice lol

each character has fun stuff about them and their personality or lore even... there is no bad characters in here!! And fun fact the first season was started just by a pair of twins!

4: BFB [BATTLE FOR BFDI] !!! its divided into 2 seasons technically. 4a [pre split] and 4b [post split]

Here appear... ALIEN NUMBERS!! All characters in BFDI so far were objects [except 4 David and Dora, stickman human scribble weirdthings] but these new guys are Number and Variable... FOUR AND X!

they are Weird and Mildly Unsettling, they're drawn wonky, they have wild powers and are quite random. X is nice, but Four is feared because he's quick to hurt contestants and even his best friend X. Death is common in BFDI [there are machines that revive people] but Four has New and kinda Scary ways to murder.

like screeching

So they host the new season!

The prize in BFB is ... a BFDI! Yep! The first season of BFDI, plain and simple. But deepfried.

THE SPLIT AND SEASON 5: TPOT [the power of two]

Kind of a spoiler. Halfwayish through BFB, TWO ARRIVES!!

they offer Four's contestants a different prize... Their power. Their magic powers that are very cool.

Around more than half of the contestants decide to join Two's show, especially because theyre tired of Four's stuff.

Yayy...! BFB stays silly and TPOT goes more for character development and such.

Post split, Four gets a huge change. His contestants left and he feels horrible and a lot of people complain that he's whiny and terrible post split.

Onto TPOT!

Two is much nicer and doesnt murder people for fun. They're a pretty good host! This season is still ongoing btw! It really seems to be getting more serious. By BFDI standards.

#//four #i can Say More. but also i want you to watch it.

[clovis-enthusiast]

Hi! What are your thoughts of a child of Aphrodite trying to pursue a relationship with Clovis? I feel like Clovis would be really shy/blushes profusely whenever he’s around them or whenever they try to make a move on him and he would try to deny it but will eventually accept it (also happy to find ur blog-made me more curious about Clovis!)

hi hi!! so sorry 4 the late reply, i hardly ever check my notifs if im not on my laptop T^T

im actually a HUGE fan of exploring clovis and aphrodite cabin dynamics!! i even ship mitchell, valentina, and drew with clovis (not all together ofc but as separate ships!) :D

ok ok so on one side we have a demigod whose godly parent is the literal embodiment of love and the other side we have a demigod whose parent is the literal embodiment of sleep; i think it's a very goofy and cute dynamic!!

here we have a demigod whose godly parent is LOVE thus making their life very motivated, inspired, and directed/guided by love (of all types!), and a kid who is lucky if he even knows what year it is. imagine being someone who has had so MUCH LOVE front and center in their life and being surrounded by half-siblings that share this trait with you and then you try to flirt with clovis 💀

since clovis seems to be very "go with the flow" and more in the dreamscape than reality at any given time, i think that would make it all the more difficult to even get him to even consider the possibility that flirting is what's going on let alone someone flirting with HIM. like he went through the trouble of showing nico the counselor meeting and didnt seem to notice that gee nico is rlly rlly focused on will weird. he's so relaxed and unbothered that detecting social cues or picking up on subtleties and viewing things as anything other than neutral demigod-to-demigod interactions just isn't something he particularly excels at. why would he need to? he's usually sleeping, so that sort of stuff doesn't concern him all that much because why would anyone be interested in him romantically much less flirt with him??? that doesn't make any sense??? so it's not so much him being unconfident or hard on himself as much as it is just his "logic."

that's how he regards his interactions with people in general... now once more: this is the APHRODITE cabin. they're generally nice, and even if it is flirting, aren't they all kinda flirty by nature? (not accurate in reality ik just bear with me here)

and for a while, DREW ran the cabin. the same drew who literally called clovis "repulsive" and seems to have some beef or just general dislike for him. with her being the head counselor (and even when she steps down, she's still an older camper with influence in her cabin) and thus being who clovis might immediately associate the cabin with due to interactions as a fellow head counselor, it seems unlikely that anyone from that cabin thinks that highly of him. and if they did, could it be a form of rebellion AGAINST drew and not actual general interest? or just some sort of cruel joke or even just the easy way out of that weird old aphrodite tradition?

i also headcanon clovis as just. Chill. Unbothered. Not Aware of Social Norms in general. he's the type to hug/lean on his friends lazily, cuddle with ppl he doesn't even know all that well at the campfire bc they're comfy, offer to share his bed with someone who is having nightmares, etc. just bc he has far less experience with actual human interaction as opposed to dreams where he can control them as he wishes. who is he to say someone isn't just being friendly/polite to him or thats just how ppl act?

that all being said though, people wanting/trying to keep him up long enough to talk to him, get to know him, or hang out with him as opposed to just to get some sleep, help with dreams/nightmares, or info on gods and whatnot, IS something unusual enough for him to notice. so when a nice, pretty aphrodite camper visits him and asks to go strawberry picking or sits by him at the campfire or asks him about HIS dreams or compliments him with no hint of malice/dishonesty in their voice, THAT can be enough to catch his attention. and THAT is when the ✨️confused flustering✨️ occurs.

this eepy boy is touch-starved, friend-starved, all KINDS of starved AND honestly just taken for granted/neglected when it comes to living in a camp full of adhd kiddos with demigodly powers so when someone whose godly parent is LOVE starts showing affection and attention to him? WOWIE UHHHH WHAT IS HE SUPPOSED TO DO????? and i think that's a lot of what gets him so flustered in such new, intense interactions: the whys? and what do i do's? and even the how does this make me feels? and do i really deserve this's? getting all worked up with that sort of stuff in ur head is gonna stress ya out and stress makes ya... well... exhausted. sleepy.

i think it would def take a LOT of time and patience when it comes to anyone pursuing a child of hypnos romantically, and i think the aphrodite cabin is just the right type of ppl to take on that challenge. being experts in all sorts of different forms of love whereas clovis is mostly only ever by himself in the land of make-believe so to speak, they're the perfect types of demigods to help clovis explore uncharted waters and be gentle and kind enough to not be too pushy to make him uncomfortable but just pushy enough to make sure he knows that hey, im being flirted with, that's something that can happen and i am worthy of having happen to me, and help him figure out his love languages (while also enjoying the cute reactions during this process uwu).

and when it comes to teasing/flustering, the possibilities for silly pet names ("dreamboat/dreamboy", "sleeping beauty", "bedhead" (affectionately), etc) and cheesy pick-up lines ("you must be tired from running through my dreams all night" "I've never met someone as cute as you; pinch me i must be dreaming" "aren't you the sweetest dream I've ever had", etc.) are endless and hilarious. whether or not he actually picks up on it or it goes whoooosh over his poor sleepy widdle head, at least it's entertaining.

and in the end, i doubt there are truly many other significant others who would be as gentle, comforting, comfortable, thoughtful, and soft all the way around as the gods' eepiest soldier.

this is kinda lackluster bc im tired myself and i havent spent time actually sitting down and writing up concepts in YEARS so i might answer this question again sometime with a better response and better concepts and ideas!! my brain's all rusty lo siento T~T but thanks for the question!! I'm always down to talk abt my BOYYYYYY!!!!!

and aaaa that last part made me so happy u have no idea im always so grateful when i can remind ppl that Clovis exists or make them reconsider him as an important or special character 🥹💛

#pjo #percy jackson #hoo #toa #personal #me #heroes of olympus #the trials of apollo #trials of apollo #hypnos cabin #cabin 15 #clovis #clovis-enthusiast #ask #asks #answer #answered #anonymous #anon ask #mine #my post #answered ask #aphrodite #aphrodite cabin #cabin 10 #percy jackson and the olympians #riordanverse #rick riordan #rrverse #crookedcosplays

[many-gay-magpies]

HELLO CAN I HEAR MORE OF THE WOLF GIRL MURDER CRYPTID???

She sounds so. So. I beg yuo………..

YES YES OH MY GOD ABSOLUTELY

dude you do not even know I have been trembling like an anxious chihuahua just waiting to be able to go full feral about her to someone. this rocks

OKAY SO. the entire story kind of started because i was listening to a song and i was like you know what this would be great for? being the backing track to a cold open where some girl is running through the woods mid-panic attack after having just killed someone. then it kind of grew a plot from there.

(me, foolishly: oh this will probably not take too long or take up too much space. clearly i forgot just how Able i am to ramble when prompted. put the rest under a cut bc it got LONG)

the cryptid wolf girl herself is named rosalind, or roz for short, or possibly rory for short once she figures out some gender stuff later on... the Central Relationship in the story is between her and her little sister anna. they did... NOT have a great life growing up—dad was an abusive alcoholic, mom was a DEPRESSIVE alcoholic and even when they split up, mom kinda left roz to raise/take care of anna completely on her own... things are better now; mom has cleaned herself up and is trying to be better—but like. that messed roz up lmao. go figure.

so for their whole lives growing up, roz and anna were kind of glued together... ROZ was more of a parent to anna than their own mom, and anna went to her for everything. but in the time of the story, anna's started to Grow Up and Grow OUT of needing her big sister for everything, AND ON TOP OF THAT she's just got herself a boyfriend who fucking sucks and reminds roz WAY too much of their dad... (in my mind I feel like when their parents split and dad left, roz was old enough to actually understand how abusive and shitty he was, but to anna it just seemed like he'd abandoned him, so she's probably a bit stupid about relationships because she's searching for the love she never got from her father/searching for a bandaid to the feeling of abandonment she has from him, but she isn't exactly the healthiest about that and latches onto the first guy that shows her attention, thinking it's Love.)

anyways, this whole deal—anna getting distant, anna being stupid about her bf—makes roz feel Some Type Of Way. she's kind of latched onto her position as anna's pseudo-parent as the crux of her self-worth, so now that anna seems to not NEED her anymore she does not take it well. she wants to protect anna from her toxic bf and from HERSELF, but she can't do a thing and just feels useless because everything she TRIES just ends up pushing anna further away from her. then on her birthday, when she's at her friend's house to celebrate (the best friend she's gay af for, zoe), she makes a wish to be able to protect anna like she used to—aaand the literal moon overhears and basically goes "you have a noble desire, i'll give you my blessing" and turns her into a werewolf (sort of - it's not a whole "turn every full moon" deal, just whenever there's a specific trigger)

anyway like a week after roz's bday when she makes the wish, it's homecoming, and her mom (who is also stupid and just thinks roz hates mark (anna's bf) because she's jealous) has asked her to drive anna to this party mark invited her to... which is in the middle of the woods. with a whole bunch of older high school guys. sure, mom, that's bound to be perfectly safe and legal.

roz has been feeling a little off all week and having weird dreams (unbeknownst to her thanks to her new lunar benefactor). after homecoming, she drives anna to her party... but there is NO FUCKIN WAY she trusts those dudes with her, so she sneaks up to spy on them from the bushes to make sure they're not getting up to any unsavory shit and hurting her little sister. (spoiler alert: they absolutely get up to tons of unsavory shit.) so roz is watching these guys, and it's literally all guys, like anna is the ONLY girl, and they're all older—and they're drinking alcohol, getting progressively more wasted, and anna is refusing but mark keeps pressuring her, and eventually he makes some vague allusions to ah... "loosening her up" with the alcohol so he can have his way with her, while touching her in not-so-great ways... and seeing that triggers roz's first transformation. she just full-on catapults in and tears him to SHREDS, literally. then someone stabs her with a beer bottle and she flees, turns back human, and starts freaking the fuck out because she just killed mark.

okay um. i did not intend to just tell you the entire story up to the point that ive written it. but OH WELL I DID! hope u enjoyed that lmao.

the whole premise of the story is that, despite how much it sucks at first, roz being a werewolf actually kind of brings her, her mom, and her sister closer together... the thing is, the moon, when it heard her wish, it didn't just give her what she asked for—it gave her what she NEEDED. and in general i have lots a feelings about werewolves as the representations of our deepest, most repressed emotions and desires, like if you've seen the whole thing about like "the werewolf is the part of you that LOVES YOU. it is the part of you that is mad at how wrongly you've been treated and wants to PROTECT you." yeah. and i have lots of feelings about the MOON and moon deities as gods of honesty, vulnerability, and seeing the truth of our deepest emotions...

so the wolf is kind of all roz's anger issues just smushed into one big wolfy body. a big theme ive started exploring with the story is that being a werewolf isn't exactly CHANGING roz or making her feel things she's never felt before (like, you know. the murder urges), it's just bringing things she ALWAYS FELT to the forefront and making them unignorable. because above all what roz NEEDS is something to force her to face herself to be able to overcome all the self-hatred she has (because BOY SHIT THERE'S A LOT OF IT). which is also where her relationship with zoe (who ive thought, written, and posted about almost more than the relationship between roz and anna... whoops) comes in.

roz and zoe are best friends. they have been since they were five years old, and zoe has been with roz through like ALLLLL the shit of her seventeen long years. roz is incredibly gay and absolutely in love with zoe, but doesn't realize because she's a fucking dumbass and thinks that's a normal way to feel about her best friend (or, like, maybe she kind of knows something's Different and knows what it IS, but she can't ever let herself realize it fully because ✨internalized homophobia✨).

when the whole wolf thing starts out, roz doesn't tell zoe what's happening, because she's afraid zoe will be afraid of or disgusted by this part of her... which she likes to think is the wolf's doing, but she knows it's really ALWAYS been a part of her. roz keeps the secret from zoe for a WHILE because of this, and keeps pushing her away, but zoe (who Knows roz and loves her back just as intensely) will NOT fucking let her. so there's gonna be like this whole stage of incredibly painful pining, where the moon goddess makes roz realize that she's in love with zoe, but she still hasn't even TOLD zoe about the whole werewolf thing, so there ensue events like: roz in wolf form subconsciously seeking out zoe, breaking out of her house in the middle of the night, going to stand below zoe's window, and then waking up in the morning thinking it was a dream until she sees her window is open and her pajamas are shredded to all hell and goes "shit".

eventually, of course, zoe DOES find out (either by accidentally witnessing a transformation one day or because roz finally caves and tells her, i havent decided yet), and spoiler alert, she isn't disgusted or afraid—she's actually, like, wildly attracted to the feral bloodthirsty vengeful side of roz, because that's the embodiment of roz's deepest, more true self, and zoe has wanted nothing more than to know roz completely—and of course it still takes roz a while to realize zoe's wide-eyed, drop-jawed stares at her are not FEAR but I'M SO GAY IM GONNA OASS OUT HOLY SHIT, because she's fucking stupid.

another honorable mention character: himbo soccer team boy tentatively named matt (gonna change either his or mark's name cuz they're too similar) who witnesses roz partially-transform by accident one day and decides he's going to be absolutely ride-or-die for this tormented lesbian werewolf. he's there for her until she finally gets her shit together and tells zoe what's going on, and long after that. they become a cute little bestie trio and matt ABSOLUTELY realizes how gay roz and zoe are for each other before roz does and he's like JESUS CHRIST JUST KISS ALREADY

(also. most worthy of mention in the yet-to-be-written zoe-and-roz scenes i feel feral about: there's gonna be one after zoe finds out where roz has a really bad transformation, and passes out still wolfed-out in zoe's lap... and she's visibly having a nightmare (plus she's still a wolf which means she's still in crisis mode even though she's sleeping), so zoe starts reading aloud to her while she sleeps until she calms down enough to turn back human... and it starts out as just zoe doing what she's ALWAYS done to comfort and soothe roz, but since roz is ASLEEP it devolves into zoe pouring out her true feelings without roz awake to hear them... then roz wakes up in the middle of zoe reciting shakespeare's sonnet 57 to her and it's like. INSANELY gay. and the whole time matt's off to the side like holy shit.)

ANYWAYS YEAH THAT WAS. A LOT HAHA. I hope u like my feral unhinged asshole werewolf girl :)

#asks #the wolf #do you know what youve unleashed? #noncon warning #rape ment #<- very minor but the scene/actions descriped could still be potentially triggering

[taruruchi]

☆ Azul and Taruchi's relationship timeline !

⚘ [ TAGS ] #slowburn #fell first fell harder #ansgt #it's been seven and a half chapters why haven't they confessed yet #but i will break them #chapter 7 🙏

𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄

Taruchi saw Azul and thought, "Man… He kinda scary." (Tbf she thought that about. Everyone) But also, "Wait, stop, he kinda pretty too"

Azul saw her and only went "??????" (as did the rest of nrc)

𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒𝐋𝐀𝐁𝐘𝐔𝐋 + 𝐒𝐀𝐕𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐖

Nothing happened, though Taruchi did wonder about him and tried to catch glimpses of him in the halls

Though it was more out of admiration and curiosity

𝐎𝐂𝐓𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐄

Taruchi probably died inside ngl. She had to give it to him—he pulled a very lawyer move. She did hate that fact too, because it meant more problems for her.

Remember when they spied on Azul?? Yeah… Yeah. She was totally not impressed at all, haha…

Anyways, she tried very, very hard to keep from hugging him after learning about his past. But she did offer many words of comfort. And died a little inside again when they went to the museum and that one scene happened. (pov the writer doesn't remember exactly what happened in the scene) She's thinking, "I probably don't like him and it's probably just admiration, right?" yet she still goes to the Mostro Lounge more often than she should

Azul probably just saw her as another problem. Did not understand why she was being so nice. "What is she trying to pull here?? Does she want some sort of compensation??" Yes. But nonetheless thankful. He probably offers her tiny discounts just as thanks, though he is wondering why she's there often.��

𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐀

Taruchi: Dying Inside Pt. 2. She was honestly terrified when they came crashing into the Mostro Lounge. They're broke as hell, how are they gonna pay for damages??? Thankfully they agreed to help her and was once again Dying Inside when they all had to stay in that one room. She was internally giggling when they had to head back to Scarabia together. Genuinely impressed all over again. Like. "How does he knows all this stuff… Wow…" In total awe. Then she thinks about how much she'd owe Azul in the end and starts internally sobbing. (The writer doesn't remember if they owed him something) In the end, she's worried it's not just admiration

(I don't remember if this is canon or not but whatever) I think Azul would just consider this as his payment for causing so much trouble when he overblotted. I also think this is where he actually learns a bit more about her? (We ignore that Jade collects info on people) Through the lesson stuff, he learns she's smart and understands quickly. He's slowly starting to learn she's just genuinely nice. But he's still quite on guard around her, especially considering she knows his past.

𝐏𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐅𝐈𝐎𝐑𝐄

Taruchi is sad she's busy nowadays and is mostly stuck at Ramshackle. Meaning she doesn't go to Mostro Lounge anymore bc by the end of the day she's too tired. She knows it might be unlikely since he was so busy with the Lounge, but she hoped that Azul would be at the VDC.

Azul was wondering why she hasn’t been to Mostro Lounge lately then finds she’s been dragged to help with the VDC. He’s not sure how he feels, it’s weird. Later on, he decides he might as well drop by VDC to see the performance. After all, it was the entire reason they’d have more customers. 

When the performance is done, they both see each other and talk for a bit… and they wind up spending the day just going around together. Azul goes back to his dorm more confused than before; meanwhile Taruchi is blushing all the way to her room and hides in her blanket. This night is sparkling don't you let it go I'm wonderstruck blushing all the way home

𝐈𝐆𝐍𝐈𝐇𝐘𝐃𝐄

Taruchi was in a classroom playing board games since the Board Game Club had met up. All of a sudden her friend and the lov— *coughing* her two friends are kidnapped??? She was RUNNING for a teacher but apparently other students were kidnapped too and she was friends with all of them. Maybe. Who knows about Leona

Oh, Rook is going after them? And Epel too? Well, count her in. She couldn’t do it on her own but she has two friends with her!! Me and the boys looking for classmates

The SHOCK when she discovers that one of her closest friends has done this. But also, so cool. But STILL how could he kidnap them all??

She’s relieved when she hears everyone is fine. Until it all goes downhill

When they finally meet up with everyone, it takes everything in Taruchi not to run to Azul and hug him… So she does that with everyone. But Leona. When she finally hugs Azul, it’s a little tighter and she says, “I’m so glad you’re okay.” Azul sighs and asks, “Now WHY would you come here willingly??” to which her response is “I wanted to save you. ...I mean— you as in everyone” and he shakes his head

When they have to split up, while Taruchi knows it’d be better to go with the Pomefiore group especially since they have two third-years, she desperately wants to go with Riddle and Azul. Rook sees that and he suggests that she go with them. “You’re both close to her and four in a group is a lot of people, hm?” Rook gives her a knowing smile and Taruchi smiles back.

She has to witness her two friends arguing and while their snide remarks make her let out a small giggle sometimes, she also tries to mediate. When they have to fight something, both of them jump forward to protect her so she's just 🧍‍♀️👍 At the part where they talk about their past and their dreams, she absolutely melts. She didn’t think she could admire Azul more than she did before, but apparently she was wrong. When they take a break and Azul talks about what he wants to do in the future, she listens so intently. And then he leans on her shoulder and falls asleep

She and Riddle whisper to each other: “Riddlehelpme” “What do you want me to do?? Move him??” “No, he might wake up!” “What then???” “I don’t know!! …Do you want to sleep too?” “No!”

Taruchi gets bored and she’s tired so she also falls asleep… leaning on Azul. Riddle tries to fall asleep but ends up leaning on Taruchi too. 

They all wake up like o_o and pretend it didn’t happen

Then they have a wild ride. Literally. And their scene is over once Riddle gets white hair and Azul and Taruchi are panicking over that

Until later on the ride back to NRC where she’s staring at Riddle and trying to get used to it. Oh and also she and Azul desperately want to say something about what they’re feeling but they never get to it

𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐍𝐈𝐀

They… are closer and more awkward. Yeah, they interact more, but they can’t get through a conversation without internally freaking out and therefore making it end too soon.

Taruchi is regularly going to Mostro Lounge again. One day, she and Azul talk and she tells him that they found another clue on how to get her home. Their conversation goes: “So... The other first years and I have found a clue that gets me closer to going home (small smile)” “Oh! (smile) That's good news. I'm glad you'll finally be able to return to your world. (dying inside)” “Yeah, thank you (smiling but also dying inside)”

But you only need the light when it's burning low, only miss the sun when it starts to snow (<- the song genuinely made me cry) (Update: Guys nvm they're so Say Don't Go coded)

Taruchi realizes that it's only a matter of time before she leaves, so she decides she should try to get over her feelings! One goodbye was bad enough, this one would definitely be painful too. If she could make it less painful, the better. And no, you can't convince her to confess, she doesn't function that way

Azul also snaps into his senses and realizes he likes having her around and didn't want her to leave. It'd sting not seeing her at her usual table at the Lounge, not passing by in the hallways, not seeing her laugh in defeat as he once again takes all her money in Monopoly. But how is he supposed to tell her all that

[SPOILERS]

They meet again in Diasomnia during Lilia's going away party. Taruchi pretends she doesn't see Azul and continues talking to Lilia and the gang. Until Azul goes up to Lilia to say whatever he had to say, then she says hi and wanders off.

Azul finds her again and talks to her: “Hello, Taruchi. Are you enjoying the party?” “Oh, Azul. Hi. Yeah, there's a lot of people here. Though I'm sad Lilia's leaving.” “So am I. He's a good upperclassman. ...I've made an observation. Apologies if I'm wrong, but it seems like you're trying not to talk to me.” “N-no, not at all. Sorry if it seemed that way.” “It's all right...” (pause as he's thinking about if he should bring up his newly-discovered feelings, but it gets too awkward and she starts to leave) “Wait, Taruchi—”

Cue Malleys overblotting and putting everyone to sleep

The rest is dreaming and Azul isn't in it at all so!! To be continued!!

#☆ taruchi's writings ✍️ #☆ 💙

[tennessoui]

Hello!! I may not be making much sense, but in my defence, i just woke up and had a very cool dream, which is what i'm here about!

I had the very good idea of going to sleep after watching a playthrough of Bloodborne bc Bloodborne is very sexy, and my brain cooked a weird dream about it! And obviously, bc i am obsessed with Obikin, it super was about Obikin. And i just wanna talk about it before i forget or something!

I hope im making sense, but anyways here we go:

So, Anakin is half Force, bc Child of the Force and all that, which means he's very normal (in Anakin way, so not normal by normal). But sometimes he looks very weird or feels very weird, but you can't place how, weirdly uncanny and all that. Anyways, weird. And when he is very angry or emotional, he becomes very scary, and its very hard to look at him, he doesn't change or anything, but he hurts your eyes, kind of like a very bright light might. And the strongest in the force you are, the easiest it is to see (like the insight mecanism in the game) him as he is, which i cant describe bc i couldn't see in my dream.

Obi-wan noticed the pattern obv, but cannot look at him too long and stuff idk i dont very remember that.

There was a part, it was during Mortis arc i think? idk. And so, there was the Father, the Daughter and the Son. And there spawned the Mother, which was the Force, as in the whole force, represented by the Mother, which looked like something i cannot even describe bc dream. And she went to get Anakin back, bc she always wanted a kid, and never could have one, but she found a way to make one by using a human woman (Anakin's mother) and now she wants him!

And Obi-wan very much doesn't want the Force to steal him away, bc that's his Padawan, and he very much wants him there, with him, until forever probably, so he kinda negociates with the weird ass eldritch-monster-thing about it. He said things, which were very sexy and that i forgot, but it was basically about how Anakin was gonna die someday anyways and she can have him then but not a second sooner, bc once he's dead he's gonna be hers for eternity but now he's definitely Obi-Wan's. It was all very sexy.

I also remember that the Mother laughed and hugged him (Obi-Wan) with her weird not-arms, made him swallow something (forcefully) and then released him, and when he stopped choking on the thing (it was liquid, looked carmine red but gold at the same time?? i think it was blood) he looked at the Mother again and could see her somehow (still can't describe her bc i wasnt him so my dream didnt let me see :") ) and he heard her say "you can have him as long as you're alive, but as soon as you die, ill come get him", so now he has to stay alive to keep Anakin.

Also i think the Mother's blood that she made Obi-Wan drink raised his midichlorian count, so now when Anakin does his weird shiny angry thing, he can look at him without bleeding from the eyes or something.

Also i think there was a part about how the brighest lights cast the darkest shadows, Palpa-thing trying to corrupt Anakin, and Obi-Wan being able to literally see the corruption, and do something about it.

Gods i hope it makes sense.

Anyways i love you, i hope you're having a good day!

ahhh i wish my dreams were half as vivid or descriptive!!

this feels like perfect eldritch anakin vibes + plus a somehow becomes immortal obi-wan just so no one can take his padawan from him because i think he'd do something like that through accidental spite

i mean if anyone could defy the force through sheer willpower, it may be obi-wan idk

#asks #this was sent a lil while ago but i hope you still remember this dream!! #i think its cool as all get out tbh #obikin