Actually, Bram Stoker’s Dracula
Frustrated that a good Dracula adaptation doesn’t exist I just made my own movie poster for the movie that should exist but somehow doesn’t!!!
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Mina, via Victorian group text: fangface on his way GET HIS ASS xoxo
Jonathan: Thank God! Can't wait to show him my Final Invoice (kissing his Kukri knife).
Dr. VH: Uh, maybe cool it with taking the Lord's name in vain right before we throw hands with a vampire, bud.
Jonathan: I would walk backwards into hell and flip off God if it meant I could kill this guy twice.
Dr. VH: Jonathan, my brother in Christ! You don't mean that!
Jonathan "Holiest Love" Harker, who would become a vampire just so that Mina shall not go into that unknown and terrible land alone:
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Second time trying to post this, don’t know why it wasn’t showing up before :/
Part 5 Quincey Harker Time Travel AU
Part 4
Part 6
(Part 1 here)
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it's really funny to me that Arthur crashed the boat and everyone gossiped so much about it that it got back to Jack and Quincey
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Van Helsing, handing out guns: Madam Mina, I do not believe it wise for you to be getting-
Jonathan, tightening his grip on his kukri: ...
Van Helsing: ...nothing. I do not think it be wise for you to be getting nothing. H-have a gun Madam Mina.
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Just tripped and fell into a what-if scenario:
"What if Jonathan really had caught up to Dracula in Piccadilly and killed him in the street?"
Head lopped off. Kukri through the chest. The 'murder victim' turns to dust in full view of the gawking crowd. Then what? Then what??
Piccadilly Police: "So this man beheaded and impaled an aristocrat in the middle of the street."
Witnesses: "He did."
Piccadilly Police: "And the body..?"
Witnesses: "Crumbled into that pile of dust."
Piccadilly Police: "..."
Witnesses: "..."
Piccadilly Police: "...So has he named which magician he's working for or--?"
Witnesses: "No, he's just been busy kicking the dust into the horse dung piles in the gutter."
Of course, this is the best case scenario sillytimes version. Serious version? Jonathan only manages half of the process before some Good Samaritans tackle him; and likely get cut in the process. I bet he could chop Dracula's head off, but not manage the heart-piercing in time. He gets dragged off to jail. The Count's two pieces get taken to the morgue. And now Van Helsing, the Suitors, and Mina are all on a ticking deadline to stake Dracula's heart before sundown with Important Witnesses present to prove Jonathan's innocence and sanity in the slaying...
And if and when that happens?
That means the Drac Attack Pack are responsible for bringing the reality of vampires into the public awareness.
So.
Surprise, everyone!
Imagine the can of worms that would open around them, around the whole concept. Their original plan to head to Castle Dracula to end the Brides gets a LOT of extra tagalong company. Photographers are there. Ditto shady government sorts who, of course, are eager to investigate a way to turn vampirism into a benefit to the Crown. The Drac Attack Pack would be swamped with sensationalism. It'd be a circus.
Which all adds up to a belated understanding for me about just why Dracula had to get away from them in Piccadilly. If he had been caught and killed? God. What a mess it'd be.
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By the way, if you’re unfamiliar with Kukri knives:
Jonathan is basically carrying a machete around London.
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Jonathan Harker 6 months ago: the count broke my mirror :( you could pour paprika on me and I'd thank you :( I keep forgetting I passed the bar
Jonathan Harker now: constantly carries a giant knife and sharpens it while muttering "hahaha... I am going to murder Dracula or I am going to BECOME Dracula"
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I support Jonathan “wifeguy” Harker becoming a white haired anime boy and announcing “if Mina becomes a vampire I will face God and walk backwards into hell”
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Suddenly the door was burst open, and in rushed my patient, with his face distorted with passion. […] Without an instant's pause he made straight at me. He had a dinner-knife in his hand, and, as I saw he was dangerous, I tried to keep the table between us.
on a lighter note, i find it funny that seward points out that he “saw he was dangerous”. like. your violent patient broke into your office and is running at you with a knife. i don’t think you need to explain that he’s dangerous.
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