#Elain deserves to explore their world before deciding where her home is going to be

[acourtofthought]

Elain does seem to have friends in the NC....

Elain was laughing among a circle of beautiful friends, flushed and brilliant. - ACOTAR

...... But she had them in the human lands too.

Elain does seem to have a hobby and interests in the NC......

My sister was beaming, content—prettier than I’d ever seen her, even in her simple muslin gardening dress. Her cheeks were flushed beneath her large, floppy hat. “I think—I think I’d like to see the continent,” I said. - ACOTAR

I was content to listen to her talk about every bud and bloom, about her plans to start another garden by the greenhouse, perhaps a vegetable garden, if she could learn enough about it over the next few months. - ACOTAR

She had come alive here, and her joy was infectious. There wasn’t a servant or gardener who didn’t smile at her, and even the brusque head cook found excuses to bring her plates of cookies and tarts at various points in the DAY. - ACOTAR

Elain had taken charge of planning and finding me a last-minute dress - ACOTAR

..... But she had hobbies and dreams in the human lands too.

Elain called Feysands house "home" but....

"I want to go home." "I want to go home she repeated". - ACOWAR

She said the same of their human manor.

Why are the arguments always only on this supposed fantastic life she's found in the Night Court and how Elain saying the court is her court is evidence that she's where she belongs rather than acknowledging she clearly belonged in the human lands in a much more obvious way.

If you truly look at Elain as she was in the human lands versus Elain as she is in the NC, I'd say her happiness and purpose was much more evident in the human lands. She was beaming, laughing, surrounded by an entire circle of friends at one point, she was the happiest Feyre had ever seen her at another (no one has noted Elain being the happiest they'd ever ever seen her in the NC).

Elain wasn't living in her sisters shadows in the human lands the way she is the Night Court.

She created her own life and wasn't forced to make do with what was available to her as she has been in the NC.

That's the truth of it.

Elain's current life is only what it is because she's had to build it out of the leftovers from Feyre's world.

Do you think out of all the people in Velaris, in all of Prythian, the twins and Elain have so much in common?

Do you think, had Elain had her pick of all the eligible bachelor's in Prythian, Az would be the one she had the most in common with? Do they share any of the same goals? Do they have any similar interests?

It's easy to convince yourself a character wants what they want when you don't take into account how they don't have many options. Winning by default is not really winning at all.

Elain doesn't enjoy bars or taverns so you know where she's had the opportunity to meet others? Feyre's patio, Feyre's dining room, Feyre's kitchen, Feyre's sitting room...

Elain was living in a strange place where all she had to choose from, especially as she was fighting against her bond, is what was available to her. She was scared and uncertain so instead of being in a place to branch out, she latched on to the things that were already there.

It's the same reason Amren was Nesta's first friend, because she was forced to find someone within Feyre's inner circle after just being made. She once considered Amren a friend, did she not? But only after Nesta set off on her own did she discover what made her the happiest, who her real found family is. Where Nesta even traveled to Spring to realize that she didn't feel the same sense of home there that she did the HOW. Nesta explored many other males before deciding Cassian was always going to be who she wanted.

Anyone can make the best of their situation if they try hard enough but that doesn't mean, were Elain to travel to Day, to Spring, to the continent; were Elain to meet more people outside of the Inner Circle, she wouldn't find a life that far surpasses that which she's known in both the human lands and the NC.

If she were to do that, to see what else is out there, to get to know Lucien as even a friend and still decide that the NC, Az and the wraiths are what she wants then I'd fully support it. But I'll never believe E/riel or Elain's life in the NC is authentic until Elain is ready to figure out what she wants outside of what she was forced into.

#anti e/riel #Elain deserves to explore their world before deciding where her home is going to be #elain archeron

[citylightsbooks]

A Women’s History of City Lights: Interview with Nancy J. Peters

We'll be celebrating Lawrence Ferlinghetti’s 102nd birthday on March 24, and what better way to remember his legacy AND to mark Women’s History Month, than to honor Nancy J. Peters, Lawrence’s business partner, friend, and longtime comrade at City Lights Books. While Ferlinghetti certainly deserves all of the accolades he’s received, the fact of the matter is there would literally be no City Lights without Nancy Peters. Beyond shepherding City Lights through various fiscal crises and providing the steady anchor that allowed Ferlinghetti to travel the world as a poet and activist, Nancy's vision as an editor and acumen as a publisher were a vital key to the success and longevity of City Lights Publishers.

 ***

City Lights: How did you come to know what City Lights was? How did you meet Lawrence Ferlinghetti?

Nancy Peters: In Greece in the early 1960s, I became friends with Nanos Valaoritis and Marie Wilson who were at the center of an international bohemian/surrealist community. They had a large home which was always full of traveling writers and artists whom they made welcome. The Beat writers were among their guests, and City Lights was frequently talked about as a place everyone would meet up someday. I met Philip Lamantia there and in 1965 he introduced me to Lawrence in Paris at one of Jean-Jacque Lebel’s anarcho-surrealist festivals of free expression.  Before a riotous crowd Lawrence gave a show-stopping rendition of his “Lord’s Prayer.” I was impressed by his powerful stage presence. Later that year, when Philip and I were living in Andalusia, Lawrence wrote Philip, asking for a selection of poems for a Pocket Poets Series volume. We corresponded some while we were putting the book together, but I didn’t see him again until 1971 when I moved to San Francisco.

I’d been working as an executive-trainee librarian at the Library of Congress in the fall of 1968. In April, Martin Luther King was assassinated and the impassioned protests that ensued left Washington neighborhoods in ruins. There was shockingly little assistance to residents from the government and my part of the city was under military surveillance, helicopters hovering over my apartment through the night. A Moratorium to End the War in Vietnam took place in Washington the following year. Over 750,000 people peacefully demonstrated. In a small way, I was involved in the planning and, during the protests, my apartment was crammed with fellow activists.

The Library of Congress was an amazing, fascinating place with compatible co-workers from all over the world—thousands of book people all in one place. However, the mission of the Library is to serve Congress, and the institution was a huge conservative bureaucracy serving a conservative and ineffective Congress as I saw it. I believed that if I stayed there I would have little contact with actual books or opportunities for civic activism.

So I moved to San Francisco, where Philip was living and urging me to come, and spent an enormous amount of time at City Lights while I was job hunting. It seemed like paradise, such a stimulating atmosphere where people could sit down to read, share ideas, and have conversations about books, politics, art. One day in early 1971 when I was walking down the street in North Beach, Lawrence hailed me and asked if I would like to help him with a bibliography of Allen Ginsberg’s writings.  After just a brief meeting at the publishing office, Lawrence went to Europe and his editorial assistant Jan Herman suddenly decided to move to Germany. Jan showed me how all the editorial work was done in the office, told me Lawrence “wouldn’t mind,” and so I found myself beginning an exciting new career in publishing.

 What was your experience taking over as executive director and co-owner in 1984?

The store back then employed seven people: six men at the bookstore and one (me) at the publishing branch. So “executive director” is far too grand a title. City Lights was a small, failing organization by 1982. The store was not founded to make profits for the owners and it never did make a profit. Breaking even was the goal. But every year the losses mounted and there came a time when there were very few books left on the shelves. No one had seen a customer venture downstairs to the lower part of the store for many months.  

At the time, Lawrence was immensely popular and in great demand as a performer and a speaker, so he was traveling much of the time, visiting foreign colleagues, living abroad, finding new writers to translate. At this low point in the store’s history Lawrence told me in a frustrated moment that if I’d like to own City Lights, he would give it to me outright if I would run the business, freeing him to do all the other things he wanted to do. I declined, but told him I would be honored to be his partner. Theft was seriously addressed, and a protracted payment plan was agreed to by Book People, the East Bay employee-owned distributors who extended us credit for a generous period. Savvy booksellers Richard Berman and Paul Yamazaki headed the re-stocking plan. The three of us would go every week to Book People and Lou Swift Distributors to collect enough books to sell the following week. As time went on, everybody at the store consulted book catalogs and took on the responsibility for buying subject sections. I envisioned a participatory structure. If not a co-op, I wanted a bookstore where all the staff had responsibilities and power.

Why the decision not to have multiple bookstore locations around SF?

At one time we seriously considered additional locations. We explored sites in San Francisco’s Mission district and visited city officials in San Jose to talk about a second store there. But our resources were limited, and we were concerned about the time and money that would be required to create a sister store that would embody the same spirit and ethic as the original. During my time as director, the evolving challenges from chain stores and especially Amazon made beginning a new store a very risky enterprise. In retrospect, so many independents were closing that we decided to invest in our present, iconic location. In retrospect I think it was a good decision after watching attempts by other stores fail to duplicate their success elsewhere.

How has North Beach changed, how has it stayed the same? With the exodus of Big Tech and falling rents, how do you think that will affect North Beach and San Francisco in general in the future? Will there be “a rebirth of wonder”?

North Beach when I came to SF was a small bohemian village, where neighbors shared meals on their flat rooftops watching the sun set over the Bay. My rent was $125 a month, cheap even then. City Lights and the Discovery Bookstore (used books) next door to Vesuvio were key places to spend an evening. Two large Italian grocers delivered (no charge) bags of groceries up four flights of stairs to my apartment. The neighborhood was full of inexpensive Basque, Italian, and Chinese restaurants, and many cafes, many of which seemed unchanged since the 19th century. Change happens, and City Lights is well prepared for the future. It’s never easy to predict how things will develop, but the feeling of a lovely Mediterranean town persists, with the wooden buildings painted pastel colors, and the shimmering sea light on misty days. I feel certain that the light of City Lights will prevail for a long time to come.

 Do you feel that your gender had any impact on your experience during your 23 years as director? Do you have any comments about women in bookselling or publishing in general?

Gender always has an impact. The Beat movement was certainly male focused. Even though the undaunted Diane di Prima was recognized, she was never enthusiastically supported by the inner nucleus of Beat poets. It was a long time before the Beat women came into their own. From the start, Lawrence, who insisted he wasn’t a Beat, had eclectic tastes and was open to women’s poetry. He admired Marianne Moore and Edna St. Vincent Millay as much as he did T.S. Eliot, Jacques Prévert, and Allen Ginsberg. In the Pocket Poets Series, he’d published di Prima and, very early in the series, both Marie Ponsot and Denise Levertov.

Women’s rights and opportunities are always vulnerable and cyclic. The Women’s Movement of the 1970s was very powerful and widespread, its impact on women’s lives enormous. At City Lights we hired more women; we published more women. There have always been outstanding women in publishing and bookselling, and during that time increasingly more women writers were published, reviewed, and were given accolades and awards. Women opened general bookstores and women’s bookstores, founded feminist and lesbian presses. It was a thrilling development, to see so many marginalized writers, and not just women, finding established publishers or creating their own presses. Together they created a larger, much more diverse national literature.

I’ve had the pleasure of working with many talented women at the bookstore. And in the publishing branch: Stella Levy, Kim McCloud, and Patricia Fujii. Gail Chiarello collected and edited our bestselling Bukowski stories. Annie Janowitz proposed the timely Unamerican Activities, and Amy Scholder brought us classics by Karen Finley, Rebecca Brown, and others. I’m happy to say that Amy Scholder is again working with City Lights as an editor.

When did you meet the now current publisher and executive director Elaine Katzenberger? What was her position at the bookstore? When did you know that she was the right person to take over as director?

Ah, Elaine, the woman who can do everything! Elaine began at the bookstore sales counter, then reorganized files and the store accounts, and very soon excelled as a book buyer. She had a great feeling for good writing, so I asked her to become an editor and she immediately began adding excellent books to City Lights’ list. She’s smart, witty, multitalented, and politically astute. We are very lucky to have her at the helm.

What is your understanding or vision of what of City Lights is and what it could be? How has Lawrence’s passing impacted this?

Lawrence’s democratic inclusiveness made him the best-selling poet in the U.S. His moral principles, his courage and resilience are a model to be emulated. He conceived City Lights as an educational institution that would open minds to explore and relate to the world through books. “One guy told me he’d got the equivalent of a Ph. D just sitting in the basement reading all our great books,” he often reminded us.

His “literary gathering place” was to be a fulcrum of San Francisco cultural experience, where our bookselling and publishing could amplify the voices of diverse experiences, connect with other creative communities, and serve as a center of dissent and, at the same time, a force for creating a better society.

Lawrence’s vision will continue to be our guiding light. An optimistic realist, he believed that City Lights would long endure as the co-creation of all the dedicated people who work here and make it what it is.

#nancy peters #lawrence ferlinghetti #womens history month #city lights bookstore

[braveskyered]

Knights (Part 16)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15

-

(Special Thanks to @nebulous-rain​ for providing one of the illustrations for Part 16! Please check her out if you have time!)

-

As mentioned before, please be aware that there may be some topics from here on out that you as a reader will find uncomfortable. Elaborating what they are in the beginning will be considered spoilers.

Do remember that this story is a work of fiction. Any similarities between characters or events to persons - living or dead - in our real world are purely coincidental.

Only those that have understood and thus agreed to the above have the privilege of continuing to read Knights to the very end with a clear head.

Do you agree?

Yes ←

No

Should you fail to uphold your end of the agreement...

(Chuckles) Well, that’s your own fault, 

Part 16: Yes, Things Just Might Be Strange

- - - - - - -

So many things didn’t make sense.

So many things didn’t make sense.

So many things didn’t make sense.

So. Many. Things. Didn’t. Make. Sense.

So what the hell is going on?

Arthur knew for a fact that life in Tempo would change over the years while he was away. He knew for a fact that removing himself from the town seventeen years would have improved the lives of all those affected by his existence.

He didn’t know what to think when he overheard the conversation Elaine had with Mr. Yukino…

…

“I know I’m asking a lot from you, Mrs. Knights,” Mr. Yukino spoke with a strained voice, “But the real reason I hired you wasn’t just to put a ghost to rest.”

Elaine rose a brow and crossed her arms, unimpressed, “I know, you hired me because you knew that my husband always comes with me during my jobs. It was Arthur you wanted, not me. I won’t be giving your money back if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“No, I paid for what I requested. If it came down to it, you might have to put Lewis to rest by force.”

“And this ‘Lewis’ is the one that abused Arthur,” Elaine spoke rather than asked, “Funny, I was told that they were best friends.”

“…And that is correct.”

“Being his best friend or being his abuser?”

Mr. Yukino closed his eyes and nodded, then gave Elaine a look that she understood very well.

But all it did was make Elaine feel conflicted.

And Arthur hated it.

…

… So why does it feel like he has committed such a grave mistake?

...

He couldn’t bring himself to think about it right now as Elaine drove away from the Yukino residence with him riding with her. Even though the Yukino family wanted him to talk to their daughter, Arthur knew that he has no right to speak to Vivi, let alone see her, no matter what her parents may think. Mr. Yukino wanted Arthur to talk to Grandma Yukino again, but the objective to avoid Vivi took precedence once he learned that she would return to their home in a matter of hours.

And also…

I wasn’t wanted by them anymore. I was hated for being the cause of Lewis’s death, for being the cause of Vivi’s amnesia, for being the cause of everyone’s suffering. They ignored me back then, they ignored me after. I was hurt by them back then, I was hurt by them after. I left their lives quietly like they wanted.

“Arthur?”

…Didn’t I?

“My star, are you okay?”

He tensed briefly when he felt a gentle touch on his shoulder once they returned to the parking lot of Kingsmen Mechanics and looked over to see Elaine giving him a supportive expression.

“Before we get inside, I think we need to talk about this,” she nodded to him, “There are so many things that just don’t add up. What Mr. Yukino discussed with me regarding the ‘job’ he hired me for, and also, regarding the kids…”

Arthur shook his head and looked away. Upon receiving silence as a response, he turned back to Elaine and saw her mulling something over.

“I guess there are still some things you need time to think about for now,” she sighed, “But we do need to talk about this eventually, so I will wait until we return to our hotel room later tonight, when we’re alone, and then we’ll talk. I don’t want you to run away in fear by yourself anymore. You understand this, right?”

Even though Elaine knows the general gist of what happened to the loss of his arm, and that it had something to do with the abuse he went through afterwards, Arthur knew that his wife, his light, has so, so many questions to ask. Knowing that he didn’t have a choice once Elaine decided on matters like this, he nodded slowly.

Elaine smiled gently, then pulled him closer to whisper into his ear, “It will be okay, my star. It will be okay. That I promise to you.”

She kissed him, then left the car with him following and held his hand.

- - - - - - -

“You know, Arthur, I can’t even begin to tell you just how much I missed doing this with you.”

Arthur looked up from the engine of a semi-truck he is currently repairing to glance at his uncle working beside him.

Elaine and Morgan had left the uncle and nephew duo to “catch up on lost time” while they went out on errands and to explore Tempo with the car Lance had lent them. Arthur was reluctant at first, but then Lance assured him that Belle won’t be returning for the remainder of the day. Thus, with a heavy and even more reluctant heart, Arthur allowed Elaine to leave his side, the latter promising to come back if he ever needed her.

It’s okay. Arthur thought to himself as he clutched at the moon pin on his vest. So long as I have this…

“I mean, I’ve been able to keep this place up and running by myself, and business has been great and all as of late, but…” Lance looked down at the engine with a weary look, “It’s just… It wasn’t the same without you, you know?”

Arthur turned away to grab a different wrench that allowed a longer reach. He isn’t sure what to say to his uncle, a man who is essentially his father figure for most of his life. If anything, Arthur knew for a fact that it was selfish for him to leave without saying anything. He just didn’t have a choice, either he remained and die from a painful death by the wraith, announced his desire to leave and die a painful death by the wraith or possibly the kitsune, or leave with no one knowing and possibly die yet another painful death from something else.

…Which never came to pass due to Elaine’s family saving him back then, of course.

Lance seemed to get the hint that Arthur didn’t want to talk, so he kept going, “If you want, I can update you on what went on after you left.”

Arthur didn’t acknowledge Lance’s offer, instead focusing on the engine that needed a desperate repair. Those cylinders aren’t going to realign themselves.

Unfortunately, his uncle seemed to have taken that as an affirmative, “On the day you left, I waited for you to call, because you said you would once you had reached your ‘destination.’”

The wrench almost slipped from his hand as his gripped faltered. He remembered saying that.

“But you never did. I tried to call you, but it went directly into your voicemail. I figured you had just found a motel and went to sleep. So I tried calling you the next day. But again… I could only get to your voicemail.”

He tightened his grip on the wrench and removed one of the nuts.

“After I realized that you weren’t going to respond, I thought something bad had happened to you. I actually called Vivi and asked if she heard from you, and when she told me that you never said anything about going on a solo vacation, I went and called the police to see if they could find you. Tracking you by your cellphone was a no go, and you didn’t take any credit cards with you. They said that they lost your trail by tracking the buses you took once you reached the Tennessee area. It’s… kind of funny now since that’s where you’ve been all this time. You went right under their noses.”

Arthur gritted his teeth and tried not to listen to his uncle’s ramblings. He’s well aware of how much he worried Lance when he left, but he had no choice. He did worry about police finding him here and there, but the Knights family had hidden him so well that, until he had married Elaine and took her name, he had rarely ventured out in public on his own.

After all, no one in Tempo would believe that Arthur would have the nerve to marry someone and start a family, as unintentional as the latter is. He didn’t deserve such happiness, after all.

…

NO ONE WOULD EVER LOVE YOU AFTER WHAT YOU DID.

…

“I wanted to know why you suddenly ran off, so I started my own investigation, and that’s when…” Lance trailed off, looking more upset and angrier at the words he was about to spew out, “That’s when I found all that evidence in your room at your old place with Vivi and Lewis and…” he sighed in frustration, “Damn it, I couldn’t even believe it, to think that they were even physically hurting you ever since you moved in with them--”

CLANK!

Lance’s voice had cut off once Arthur slammed the wrench against the metal table.

Arthur is trembling in fury, biting his tongue to keep him from screaming. What does Lance know? His uncle hadn’t suffered the despair and pain and suffering like he had, and still is just by standing in this town. Vivi had never hurt him, not on purpose, and never physically. If anything, the only way Vivi had hurt him was due to her own ignorance or insensitivity at times. The wraith, on the other hand…

…

THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!

…

“…I’m sorry.”

Arthur glowered at Lance’s apologetic look, then turned away and picked up a screwdriver. Part of the cover needs to be removed.

“I should’ve known you didn’t want to talk about it,” Lance sighed, “There’s just so many questions I have and… I know I said in my letter that I accepted that I wouldn’t get any answers from you, but I can’t help but want to know why. Why all this happened and why everything had fallen apart for all of us. Even Joe and Lokia are desperate to know why once they came to regret their actions.”

Lewis’s parents. They hated Arthur for being the cause of their son’s death. Their hateful and hurtful words, his last conversation with them, were the least he deserved from them.

- - - - - - -

“Why did it have to be our son?!”

He could only apologize.

“It was you that--!”

Something cracked.

“Why couldn’t it have been you?!”

It hurt. He could only apologize again.

- - - - - - -

“They’re not wrong, Lance.”

“No, Arthur. They were wrong. They said so themselves within a week after you left once we had realized what Lewis had done. They’ve been ashamed of themselves ever since. Hell, even their restaurant took a nosedive of sorts once some regulars of ours overheard what happened, and you know how quickly word spreads around here.”

That does explain why the Pepper Paradiso looks so run down when I saw it. Arthur mused.

“I did tell Belle not to say anything to her family about you being here, but I still think you should visit them at least once before you leave. Or see her sisters, at the very least. I think it would cheer up Cayenne if she sees that you’re okay. She’s already… Ah, it’s not my place to say it.”

And it’s not my place to know. Arthur thought cynically.

While it did pain him a little to hear that the Peppers seems to be having some problems, Arthur knew it was for the best that he doesn’t get involved with Belle or her family. He had taken her brother’s life, after all, and ripped her family apart. Why Belle even tries to speak with him like he isn’t her brother’s murderer is beyond him.

It has only been two days since Arthur and his family arrived in Tempo, and he already wants to go back home. He also hopes that his children will return soon. They’ve been out practicing their monster forms for over three hours now.

Gwen. Percy. Vivian. Arthur’s heart ached. Come back soon and be safe. I don’t ever want the three of you to be forced to pay for my sins.

“Back off, you monster!”

-

Setting the tools down, Arthur walked away from the engine, ignoring the concerned response from his uncle. He went outside, then took his cell phone out of his pocket, and dialed Percy’s number. It rang a few times, but soon reached his voicemail. Right, Percy can’t use the phone as a kitsune due to a lack of thumbs. Duh. He then dialed Gwen’s phone number and waited as he heard the ringing.

“H-Hey, Daddy!”

Arthur smiled upon hearing Gwen’s voice, even if she sounded a little out of breath, “Hey. I haven’t heard from you since you left. Everything okay?”

“Oh yeah, everything’s just fine!” Arthur could hear her giggle while trying to catch her breath, “We had a little encounter with a, uh, a couple of really stubborn coyotes. Apparently, they thought Percy was competition for, ah, food. Percy’s got a couple nicks as usual, but he’ll be fine.”

Typical of Percy to get into fights with wild animals. “And Vivian? How is she doing?”

Right on cue, “Daddy! I love you!”

“Need I say more?” Gwen asked.

Arthur gave a low chuckle, “No. So long as the three of you are safe, that’s all that matters to me.”

“…Don’t worry, Daddy, we’re about to finish up over here. We should be back iiiiinnn…” Gwen hummed for a moment, “An hour or so, give or take.”

“Okay, let me know when you're back in town.”

“Of course,” Gwen went silent for a moment, “Hey, Daddy?”

“Yes?”

“No matter what, we’ll always love you. You know that, right?”

Arthur smiled, a warm tender feeling began to flow in his veins, “I do, and I love all three of you and your mother with all my heart.”

“…Thank you. We’ll see you later, Daddy. Bye!”

Arthur hung up and placed the phone back in his pocket, relieved to know that his son and daughters are safe. They haven’t been discovered by the wraith or the Mystery Skulls, and that alone helped put his mind at ease. Of course, he knew better than to get all his hopes up, but at the very least, he wanted his children to not get hurt by anyone here. He doubted things in Tempo will ever be smoothed out between him and the residents here, but at this point, he’s not sure if it’s even possible, or if anyone but Elaine wanted it to.

With the green demon being unaccounted for, there is no one else to blame for the death of Lewis Pepper.

“Where—”

“Bad girl… Bad girl...”

-

Although he never wanted it, Arthur knew that taking the blame for himself is what allowed everyone he knew in Tempo to remain steady. If there’s nothing they could blame, how else would anyone that had been affected by it all move forward?

He stared off into the distance as he tried to make out some of the buildings. The police station for Tempo is small, and the crime rate is relatively low. If anything, Tempo is one of those places where people are more likely to get speeding tickets or some other traffic violation than things like robbery or murder.

Arthur did try to turn himself in to the police once, a week after he learned that he had a hand in Lewis’s death, however indirect it may be, but somehow Vivi caught on and brought him back home before he could reach the street leading to it. The wraith wasn’t too happy when Arthur tried to bring himself to justice, as some of the old burn scars on his arm and back can attest to.

Those who have been murdered or those closely acquainted to the victim would almost never want the killer to be brought to justice by the police. It would take too long because of due process or some other bull as some would put it. A phrase Arthur once heard while overhearing customers talk at the Pepper Paradiso…

- - - - - - -

Once you violate the rights of one person, you forfeit your own in the same regard.

- - - - - - -

… or something along those lines can make one think that they deserve “justice” as soon as they desire for it. They want their own version of justice, so they can get closure and quickly move on, whether they were wrong in their judgment or not.

Sometimes, Arthur felt it would’ve been easier for everyone else had he been the one that died back when everything went wrong or when the wraith had thrown him down in that cave. But no, he had to survive both incidents with scars that will never truly heal and suffer punishments and emotional pain for over half a year until that question was asked by Vivi with the wraith smiling beside her, until he couldn’t take it anymore and ran away as a result. He pulled out his phone again and opened the app that shows the photo gallery. He went through several folders and soon opened the first one.

The first photo has him and Elaine shoulder-to-shoulder with one another with the tall mountains of Cantabile as the backdrop. Arthur remembered this one, being the selfie Elaine took as a memento of their first official date, before he learned what her family is capable of. He browsed through the photos, watching things transition from how tired, pale, and thin he was to photos that has him with more color in his face and back to a healthy weight. He could see some of the scars on his neck despite wearing either summer scarves or turtlenecks in an attempt to hide them, but as he browsed over the photos, they were gradually fading over time to where they're barely noticeable unless one looked closely.

Photos in another folder showed the path at how he and Elaine were casually dating before they made their relationship official. More photos showed the record where they are becoming engaged to one another, then having a simple wedding ceremony and enjoying the cake. Yet another folder has him seeing the chronicles of their marriage while Elaine’s belly swelled with life before it reached to a photo of the two each holding a newborn baby in their arms the morning they were born at the hospital, Elaine still in her hospital bed, with Arthur sitting in a chair by her side.

The remaining folders has photos full of the twins growing up from mere infancy to their current ages, their accomplishments and stages of growth with Elaine holding the measuring tape to record their height, to photos of Elaine being pregnant again and another holding a newborn Vivian in her arms at the hospital bed with Arthur lovingly staring down at them. One has the few rare pictures of Vivian herself having short hair until she gained her long hair trait on the fourth day of life. The last few photos were of his children celebrating their recent birthday, trick-or-treating for Halloween just a few weeks ago, and then finally…

The last photo…

“Arthur?”

Arthur tilted his phone towards his chest to prevent Lance from looking. Not that he has a reason to hide them, but he didn’t want to talk about the stories behind each photo, and each treasured memory.

These memories are his and his alone, and he will not let anyone, not even his uncle or the wraith, taint them.

“I failed you as your uncle, didn’t I?”

What.

He gave Lance an incredulous look.

Upon seeing his nephew’s reaction, Lance sighed, “The fact that you’re not willing to talk to me kinda gives it away. I know you’re angry with me.”

…Angry?

“Even though I’m your uncle, I couldn’t do anything to protect you,” Lance then gripped at his face, the anguish not leaving his expression, “I should’ve known that you, my one and only nephew, were hurting. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve blamed myself for not stopping you that day. I could’ve gotten you help like I should’ve done years ago even before that incident.”

“You know I would’ve refused it again, Lance,” Arthur rose a brow, “And you know the reason for that is because the therapists we could afford around here weren't fit for me. They were of no help.”

“Even so, I should’ve done something. When you left, it was only me. I’d wake up and when I go to work, I’d look at the clock wondering when you would show up for work or just to visit, but then I would remember that you were gone. We all lost something ever since that incident, Arthur.”

“Understatement of the decade,” Arthur averted his eyes briefly before facing his uncle again, “The Peppers lost their son and brother, Vivi lost her boyfriend and a chunk of her memory, and the Yukino family themselves are at a loss on how to handle said memory loss. All because of me, I’m well aware of that.”

“And I lost my nephew,” Lance gave Arthur a sad glare, “All because of them hurting you enough to drive you away in exile and my own incompetence.”

“I left of my own accord,” Arthur narrowed his eyes as he checked the time on his phone before putting it back in his pocket, “No one drove me away or exiled me.”

“What? But… Joe said that they talked to you about a week before you left and--"

“If it was just that, I would’ve forced myself to just grin and bear it,” Arthur rolled his eyes, “The worst thing that could've happened is them banning me from their family and restaurant, which I was already sure would’ve happened anyway,” he turned to go back into the garage and resume work on the engine, “There’s nothing for them to be ‘ashamed’ about when everything they said is true. It didn’t matter that I never wanted any of this to happen. I caused their son’s death, so they had every right to say everything they had told me."

"Wait, so they didn't--? No, wait! Even so, it wasn't fair for them to do that to you!"

"Enough, already!" Arthur snapped, "The point is, is that I have no business, let alone any right, to see them! It's because of me that Lewis died, and therefore, ripping their family apart was my fault! They said so, and the wraith said so. So it's a fact, whether it's true or not."

Lance blinked, looking worried and dumbstruck at the same time.

"Arthur… Did… Did you just--?"

"We're not going to talk about this anymore," Arthur struggled to keep his anger in check, "You yourself said that you won't involve them if I wished, and I don't want anything to do with them anymore. It's for the best."

"But-"

"The end!" Arthur cut him off with a glare.

Thankfully, Lance finally got the hint, and didn't say anything else about the subject. Arthur felt bad about having to snap at his uncle, but it was the only way for it to stop. The last thing he wants is to get beaten by the wraith for something his uncle insisted on doing. Things were quiet for a while, and full of tension, but Arthur did his best to ignore it. Checking the time again, he saw that an hour had passed, but he has yet to receive any word from the children.

Immediately, Arthur grew worried. Moving away from the work desk, he dialed Gwen's number.

"Hi, this is Gwen Knights. I can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave me a message after the beep, I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Thank you!"

Arthur hung up the phone, his brow raised. Gwen has always been good with keeping in touch. He waited a few minutes, then tried again. When he reached Gwen’s voicemail once more, he started to get worried. He sent a text message to Elaine to ask her to check on the children or see if Niniane could keep tabs on them. His phone soon vibrated, and saw that Elaine is calling him, and he quickly answered.

“Elaine, I—"

"Don't worry, Aunt Morgan’s driving and we're already on our way there. Percy called us asking to pick them up, saying that he's too tired to return with the others as a fox. I'll let you know when I meet up with them."

Well, that's a relief.

"As for Nana Niniane, she said that she's still investigating on who destroyed that grave marker we saw earlier. She also said something about looking into a bookstore with a strange name. It was… Time Two or something?"

A bookstore with a strange name? He pondered over Elaine's words for a moment before it clicked, and a chill went into his spine, "T-The only bookstore with an odd name I know of is the Tome Tomb. They sell used comics and books unless that changed."

"Do you know anyone there?"

"Unless they sold it, I think it's still owned by someone named Duet, but I never saw them that much. Someone I used to know worked there for them as an assistant manager, but I don't know if she's still there."

"Are either of them someone we can trust?"

Arthur looked down and bit his lip. He has nothing against Vivi, but the wraith hated it whenever he so much as looked at her. Duet…. Arthur’s not really sure what to think of that person from the few times he had met them, someone so obscure that not even Vivi could figure who exactly that person is.

“I don’t know, but I don’t want anyone knowing that I’m back here again,” Arthur started to tremble, “I… I can’t do this, Elaine. I can’t… This is all so--!”

“Arthur, listen to me. I can see the kids from here, so…” Elaine trailed off.

“Elaine?”

“…We’ll be back in thirty to forty-five minutes,” she responded quickly, “Just hang in there and everything will be okay. Nana Niniane will always be nearby, and she will protect you in the few times I can’t. You’re strong, Arthur. You can do this. I love you, my star. I love you so much."

“I-I love you, too.”

Elaine… Thank you.

When Arthur ended the call, he gently grasped the moon pin on his vest with his free hand. The pin’s smooth surface became a comfort for him as he rubbed his thumb against it. He could feel the message engraved on the back of the pin, and the four little gems embedded alongside the words. Every material that was used by Elaine to make this pin with her own two hands were all carefully chosen to represent not only her love, but to also protect him from afar. Even now, after seventeen years, the little moon made with a surface of amethyst has kept Arthur safe.

“You really love your wife, don’t you?”

Arthur narrowed his eyes in annoyance at his uncle briefly before relaxing, “I do. I love her and my family more than anything.”

“…Could you tell me more about them? What they’re like?”

Tell someone from Tempo about his family?

Arthur had hidden himself and his family away from his past in Tempo for so long that he didn’t know if he should. But this is his uncle that’s asking about them, not the Mystery Skulls, or the wraith, or anyone that hated him after everything went wrong and fell apart. This is his uncle; the only person Arthur could even remotely trust enough to send letters to. His uncle, the only one he knew for a fact would love the children for who they are. His uncle, who cares more about his family than anything else.

His uncle, who lost his nephew and only close family for seventeen years. His uncle, who just reunited with him, to find that his nephew is married with children, and missed the events that have been ingrained in the nephew’s mind for seventeen years.

Elaine and the children are not his only family, Arthur remembers. Lance is his family, too.

Why does he keep forgetting that? Why is forcing himself to do this? Has he been away for so long that he can’t even associate himself with anyone from Tempo at this point?

Lance is family. That’s all Arthur needs for a reason.

“I don’t even know where to begin,” Arthur chuckled in a low and a slow tone, “There’s just so many things I could tell you, but…”

“Then, your wife, Elaine,” Lance suggested, smiling a little as he held up a hand while talking, “How did you meet her?”

Arthur smiled at the memory.

“Do you remember Galahad?”

-

“So it was you.”

-

- ----- --- --

When Elaine and Morgan returned with the children, the very first thing Arthur did is check the wounds on his son’s face.

“Dad, I’m fine!” Percy protested as Arthur carefully traced a small bandage on the boy’s left cheek, “It’s just a scratch! Grandaunt took care of it and it’ll heal in a few days! Really, I’m fine!”

Arthur only gave a small hum of acknowledgement as he took Percy into his hold.

Percy is safe. No one hurt him. Not the wraith. Not the Mystery Skulls. Not the fox. Not the Peppers. Not the Yukino family. No one had hurt him.

He extended an arm to look over his older daughter’s condition. It doesn’t look like she got hurt too badly, if at all.

“I’m okay, Daddy,” Gwen smiled at him as she held his hand, “Really, we all are.”

He embraced her, happy that she is safe. That no one had hurt her. That the wraith or the Mystery Skulls hadn’t discovered her. That she is alive and well.

That the twins are safe.

“Daddy?”

Arthur could only smile as he extended the same hand from Gwen’s hold to Vivian, who quickly grabbed it and floated up to his hide, her hair wrapping itself around his shoulders. Normally, he would gently scold Vivian for using her power around those not aware of her power, but Arthur made an exception this time. He’ll let Elaine explain everything to his uncle.

“Wait, her hair just—!”

“Don’t worry, Mr. Kingsmen,” Arthur could hear Elaine laugh gently, “She’s done this plenty of times. When it comes to her, it’s best to just go with it.”

Later that evening, both Arthur and Elaine were in Lance’s kitchen, which looked a lot cleaner than what Arthur remembered years ago but decided not to comment on it. After what happened earlier during lunch, Elaine decided not to take any chances from getting food from any of the restaurants, whether it was from the Pepper Paradiso or any other place, out of consideration for Arthur.

“You don’t have to do all this for me,” Arthur started to protest as Elaine set the pot on the stove, “I could--“

“Arthur, I don’t want you to feel left out of anything our family does,” Elaine smiled as she set the flame to medium before turning to him, “Besides, this will be cheaper and healthier for us to do in the long run, and the kids love the pasta we make. Heaven knows your uncle could use a good home-cooked meal from his own nephew and niece-in-law.”

He smiled back at her, unable to deny his light’s words. His uncle never did have the best eating habits even before he left. His mood shifted downward a bit when he realized that Belle might have helped take care of his uncle while he was gone, but in the end decided to discard the thought, it wouldn’t do if he lets himself feel sad over the past that cannot be changed.

Lance had taken the twins to look over cars and engines with while Morgan went with them to keep the children under her supervision. Before that, Elaine had put Vivian to bed for a nap in the bedroom that is still Arthur’s.

Arthur furrowed his brow a little at the earlier conversation regarding his… “former” bedroom.

…

“You… you left it just the way it was?”

Arthur silently looked at what used to be his old bedroom.

…No, it’s still his old bedroom. The room is clean of dust, the bed is made, and the desk is cleared of items except for a few books about robotics. He recognized that the posters that were on the walls that depicted either an old cartoon about a man controlling a giant robot or events that took place at either a concert or a small convention out of town. And he saw that all of them are now framed.

Some clear sheets covered the bed and other furniture to protect them from dust, making the room look like it hasn’t aged a day. Even Galahad’s old cage with all the various tubes Arthur had gradually added to it for the long late hamster remained, even though it’s clean of bedding.

This meant that Lance never used this place as a storage room… for all these years.

“When I said that you will always have a place here, Arthur, I mean it,” Lance said roughly as he crossed his arms, “I even went through the trouble to keep everything clean for you. I had to put the individual parts of your projects away in boxes to make it easier to clean, but I left them next to the desk if you ever want to… resume on them, I guess.”

Arthur didn’t say anything until he felt a tug on his pant leg and looked down to see Vivian looking up blearily at him. He then heard footsteps and looked up to see Elaine kneeling down at their youngest child.

“Oh, Vivian,” Elaine gently lifted the little girl off her feet, “It’s almost time for your nap, isn’t it?” She looked into Arthur’s bedroom and saw the empty bed before glancing at him, “Do you think it would be okay if we let her sleep in there?”

Lance glanced over at his nephew, but Arthur is already smiling a little as he softly moved a lock of hair away from Vivian’s face.

- - - - - - -

“And also,” Elaine gently cupped Arthur’s cheek, “I don’t ever want you to have the feeling of not being allowed to eat or feel anything like that painful hunger ever again. You are my husband and my star.”

She gently pulled him closer until their lips almost touched.

“And I want us to eat together like we always do.”

She kissed him, then released him from her gentle hold to continue cooking. Arthur could only smile at her. Elaine always knew how to make him feel loved, and that everything will be okay. She always kept her promises as best as she could, and in the few times she couldn’t, they always sort it out as best as they can. Arthur in turn always made sure to keep his promise to her.

The first is to know that he will always be loved by someone, especially by Elaine and their children. The second is that no matter what comes their way, they are to take it head on together.

With the happy thought in his mind, Arthur went to Elaine’s and worked beside her.

“I’m happy that your uncle has accepted us,” Elaine smiled as she broke the dried spaghetti pasta into smaller pieces before dropping them into the pot of boiling water, “We weren’t so lucky with Dad’s relatives. His family refused to acknowledge us ever since they learned what Mom, and the rest of the women in our family, are capable of.”

“The funny thing is… is that Lance always tries to stay out of the paranormal side of things since he never wanted anything to do with it,” Arthur shrugged as he passed her the salt, “He never actually understood my interest in robotics, either. But he always tried to understand me, so I guess that counts.”

Elaine placed a hand against Arthur’s shoulder as she stirred with a long wooden spoon, keeping an eye on the pot, “Even though he knows about what the kids are capable of, I’m glad he’s wanting to spend time with them.”

“I think that so long as they don’t use their powers around him, or rather, here in town too often, it should be fine,” Arthur placed a hand over Elaine’s. He opened his mouth to say something else, but then thought better of it.

Elaine gave him that look, “Out with it, my star.”

He really didn’t want to say it, especially since it involved the children’s safety. Upon realizing that, he mentally smacked himself and took a deep breath to steady himself, “Do you remember what the Yukino family told us?”

Elaine had a brief expression of alarm before shifting back into a look of understanding and nodded.

“I don’t think we should let them explore Tempo on their own after this. I didn’t realize how much of a close call it was, but if the Mystery Skulls had come across them while they were playing…”

He looked away and felt Elaine’s grip on his shoulder tightened briefly.

“Don’t worry, my star, we made sure that nothing will happen to our children,” Arthur could hear the smile in Elaine’s confident voice, “Otherwise they’ll just have to deal with more than just a protective parent,” Elaine then released Arthur’s shoulder, “Now let’s say we finish making this, all right? No more chitchat about the past or the job I was hired for. Right now, we’re going to have a lovely dinner with family members, and everyone will like it.”

Arthur simply shook his head at her in amusement. Her being so confident is always what kept him going.

- - - - - - -

“Wow, you’ve really improved on cooking, Arthur.”

Arthur gave his uncle a nod of thanks with hardly a glance as he kept his focus on Vivian, who is still gradually learning how to eat without getting too messy from her booster seat. The pasta, which is simple rotini with tomato sauce mixed with ground chuck and asiago cheese, is a family favorite, especially since it is one of the few dishes that Vivian will eat without complaint.

There’s still the trouble at trying to get Vivian to eat her vegetables, but Arthur has his tricks, such as sprinkling carrot shavings into the sauce beforehand among other things. Granted, Vivian usually eats whatever he or Elaine give her, but like every other human being that exists in the world, she has her likes and dislikes. Instead of just forcing her to eat the foods she didn’t like, Arthur and Elaine would try a variety of things, such as cooking it differently or trying different seasonings, or finding alternatives if nothing else.

On the other side of the table, Gwen and Percy were eating at their own pace, occasionally asking Lance or Morgan questions about the last car that needed work outside. Elaine, meanwhile, also kept her eye on Vivian to make sure that things don’t go out of hand.

As he watched Vivian eat, Arthur always made sure to mentally thank Caelia for teaching him the trick of hiding vegetables in one’s favorite food, and how to cook better in general.

“You can actually be amazed at what you can hide in brownies,” Caelia once told him, “Broccoli, black beans, and some other… herbal… stuff…” She trailed off briefly before shaking her hand, “But you get the gist.”

“I am, but it’s too bad that Vivian doesn’t like brownies that much. I’m not sure if it’s too sweet or if it’s the texture she doesn’t like. Any other ways I could hide things?”

“Well, there’s plenty of things. First off, you can…”

As Arthur recalled the memory, he also remembered the time when he first started living in Cantabile in that small apartment that Vivienne somehow had at the time.

Even back then, Arthur knew how to cook simple meals, such as scrambled eggs, grilled-cheese sandwiches, or rice, but he often relied on instant cup noodles or the occasional fast food as sustenance. Sometimes, he went on without food for a day or two at a time, but just before he and Elaine had started dating, Caelia somehow caught wind of Arthur’s eating habits once she had noticed that Arthur almost never brought anything as lunch while working for Four of a Kind Queens. Needless to say, Arthur resisted the urge to laugh when he recalled Caelia and Vivienne making sure he had a balanced diet, with Elaine taking over later on.

It was a weird feeling back then, Arthur admitted, having someone care about him again after being thrown away.

He snapped out of his thoughts again when he noticed that Vivian managed to get a little sauce on the left side of her face, enough to where even some of her hair came into contact with it, so he quickly made the move to wipe off as much as he could.

“Hm?”

As Arthur brushed his fingers against a section of his youngest daughter’s hair, he went still briefly. He isn’t sure how Elaine didn’t notice it when she groomed Vivian’s hair earlier, but it looks like…

The section also felt unnaturally cooler in temperature compared to the rest of Vivian’s long hair. He’ll have to ask Elaine or Gwen and Percy on what happened later. Vivian didn’t seem too bothered by it, judging from the way she looked up at Arthur. Or maybe it’s possible that she doesn’t understand about the unnaturalness of her hair being cut and not immediately growing back afterward.

Hopefully, the hair will grow back given time.

Later on, as everyone was finishing up on dinner, they heard a knock on the door.

“Were you expecting a guest, Mr. Kingsmen?” Morgan look up from washing the dishes and rose a brow.

“No,” Lance shook his head softly, “I’ll answer it, though. Just wait here.”

Arthur, as he held Vivian in his arms, immediately took that as his cue to walk away to his former bedroom with Elaine following, and gestured Gwen and Percy to follow him, which they did with no argument.

No matter who is outside, he didn’t want to risk them being seen, especially Percy. Granted, his son is only up to his chin in height, but since Percy heavily resembles him, it wouldn’t be too far off the mark in that someone would mistake Percy for him. Arthur did not want his son and daughters to suffer for something they didn’t do, so he did what he could by hiding them from anyone that knew him here in Tempo.

What used to be Arthur’s bed already had the sheets disturbed when he and Elaine had put Vivian in here for her mid-afternoon nap, so he had no problem sitting on the bed, so long as he ignored the nostalgic feeling.

“Hey, Daddy?”

He shifted eyes to his left when Gwen sat beside him, and gently held Vivian’s outstretched hand.

“Will no one here but our granduncle will accept us for what we are?”

Arthur blinked, and turned his head to properly look at her. When he briefly glanced at Percy, he saw that both his son and daughter have the same troubled expression. Thankfully, Vivian didn’t seem to fully understand Gwen’s question, but…

“Honestly, Gwen, I don’t know,” he could answer as truthfully as he could, “After… everything went wrong, I was rejected by everyone I knew, I just knew I couldn’t stay.”

“Even by our granduncle?”

A pang of guilt tugged at his chest, but Arthur knew the answer to that.

“…No, he still accepted me.”

Thankfully, no other questions were asked. Percy looked like he wanted to say something but shook his head when asked about it by Elaine. So he sat down on the bed to be at his father’s right. Elaine stood nearby at the doorway, keeping an eye on what’s going on outside. If the guest is someone undesirable, Elaine can just close the door, and no one would be any wiser.

The sound of some muffled voices could be heard, but Arthur had no idea who the guest could be. He doubted it would be Vivi, since she’s the type of person that would just barge in past Lance without any regard if she knew he was here. Or at least, that’s how he remembered.

Elaine suddenly straightened her stance upon what Arthur thinks is either Lance or Morgan gesturing to her and walked out of the room. Arthur held Vivian a bit closer to himself while Gwen and Percy looked a little tense. What could they want?

Not a few minutes later did anyone get an answer.

“Arthur?”

He looked up to see Elaine peek into the door.

“It’s Belle,” she gestured with her head, “She wants to talk to you for a bit. It’s fine if you say no, but…”

He looked down at his feet while mindful of Vivian in his hold. He knew he isn’t supposed to talk to the Peppers. He doesn’t have the right to.

“I know how you feel about her family, but do you think you could set aside your feelings on it just this once?” Elaine asked him, “While I don’t know the exact circumstances, I really think Belle needs this, that you need this. I’ll watch over the kids if you want me to, so she doesn’t have to see them.”

“Does Miss Belle hate us or something?” Percy asked, concerned.

“No, baby, far from it. But we don’t want to risk you or your sisters getting caught in a confrontation should one occur,” Elaine held Gwen and Percy’s shoulders, “And also, this is something between your father and Belle. It’s best that we don’t get involved right now.”

In all honesty, Arthur didn’t want to talk to anyone in Tempo other than his uncle, but if Elaine’s the one to ask him to do so…

“I almost forgot to mention this, Arthur,” Elaine said as she took Vivian from Arthur, “Belle wanted me to tell you that no matter what anyone says, if anyone complains, they’re to take it to her. I guess both her and Mr. Yukino want to make up for…” she trailed off, “Whatever it was that happened.”

Arthur furrowed his brow as a feeling of anger and sadness welled up in his chest.

You are not to go near them.

Ignoring the voice of the wraith that plagues his mind, Arthur made sure to swallow the uncomfortable lump in his throat before standing up.

“Fine, but if things get bad, we’re going home,” he tried his best not to growl so as not to scare Vivian. Upon seeing Elaine nod at his answer, he walked out of the bedroom that he had abandoned many years ago.

You have no right.

He is well aware, but he cannot ignore their demands.

Upon reaching the front door, Arthur saw Morgan and Lance both noticing him and looking a little worried.

You just don’t know your boundaries, do you?

No, no, please! No! Don’t burn me again! Not in front of them!

Lance’s guest, Belle, also took notice and looked pained, “Arthur, I…”

Do I need to remind you of your place… again?

No! No! I already know! I don’t need a reminder!

He didn’t say anything. He just stared at Belle with a glare, hoping that she would leave. Let her think that Arthur is as unsympathetic as the wraith portrayed him to be. Seeing Belle wince made him realize that she wouldn’t be fooled by it.

Belle sniffed and wiped a tear from her eye, “W-Will you come with me to see Cayenne?”

You are never to approach my family again.

I won’t! I promise I won’t go near them! Just let me go, please! It hurts!

Without drifting too much of his attention away from Belle, Arthur suddenly recalled something back at the Yukino residence, when Vivi’s grandmother made an outburst, didn’t she mention something about Cayenne? Regardless of whether she did or not…

“Why should I?” Arthur rose a brow, “You and your sisters didn’t want me near you, remember? Your parents made sure that was made clear to me. It’s pretty much been a rule ever since.”

For all I know, you could be biding your time to kill them, too.

No, I would never do that!

You think I believe you?

At that moment, Arthur knew that he couldn’t convince anyone of anything anymore.

Belle looked as if she’s been struck but didn’t deny Arthur’s words, “I know. I know we don’t deserve your forgiveness. Especially after what we did to you on Paprika’s birthday--!" Her breath hitched, “I’m so sorry, Arthur! I’m so sorry!”

As much as it pained Arthur to see Belle break down, he started to turn away.

“Arthur, please, I need you to see my sister!”

Upon feeling a hand grab his right arm--

What did I tell you?

“LET GO OF ME!” Arthur forced himself from Belle’s grasp and took a few steps back. He tried his best not to tremble, but his slow and heavy breaths were betraying him as some kind of burning feeling started in his throat. He glanced over at his uncle, who looked regretful, then back to Belle, before realizing the truth.

His uncle was in on this.

Even now, everyone in Tempo would look down on him. Arthur knew that, and accepted it, but to think that even Lance felt it was necessary to break the rules that he has been forced to follow due to them being drilled into his very bones by the wraith and later the Pepper family…

Never did he feel so betrayed.

Arthur gritted his teeth and tried to keep his breath steady to prevent himself from snarling. He knew that he is feeling frustrated, if the feeling burning up in his throat is any indication. Another feeling started to surface, once Arthur knew very well, and didn’t want it to happen.

No. No! I won’t!

He walked away from Lance and Belle.

“Arthur, please, we really need you to help Cayenne! She’s already--”

Arthur smacked away Lance’s hand, glaring at him as tears started to form, much to his irritation as he saw Lance regretting the decision even more.

He isn’t in the mood to listen to whatever pleas – excuses – they have.

“If it hadn’t been for Elaine,” he spoke quietly, his voice thick with emotion, “I wouldn’t have ever come back here.”

He quickly ran out from the house before anyone could grab him again. As soon as he was outside, he rushed to the camper and locked himself inside. Upon feeling the rush of safety drift over him, he collapsed on one of the beds to face the ceiling and began to weep. It wouldn’t do if his children saw him break down, and he would never cry in front of Vivian.

W-Why? He didn’t even try to stop his tears from falling. Why did I come back? Why did I let her convince me? Why are they trying to make me break the rules? Why did I even speak…!

What was he thinking, having a vague feeling of hope that this would be a meaningful reunion with his uncle, his only family in Tempo, the only one who still accepted him despite what happened that had resulted in so much loss because of his existence? He knew he shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up. Even though he had sent Lance those untraceable letters as away to let him know that he’s still alive and safe, he realized with a heavy heart that it wouldn’t stop any opinions his uncle would have of him.

In Tempo, Arthur is truly, truly alone.

His place here was long gone.

With a heavy heart, his tears yet to cease, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and sent a text to Elaine.

- I want to go home.

Not even a minute passes when he received Elaine’s reply.

- I know.

He held his phone close to his chest as he curled up on the bed. His tears never stopped falling, and he didn’t make any attempt to stop.

He didn’t know long it was since he came into the camper, but the timestamp on the next text message he received from Elaine showed that it was at least thirty minutes later.

- Unfortunately, we won’t be able to leave until this Wednesday before Thanksgiving, as per the requirements of the job Yukino gave us.

- Know that I love you, my star.

- And I’m sorry.

Arthur tightened his grip on the phone as he looked at the date. It’s only Sunday evening, and his family had arrived here just the night before.

- Aunt Morgan and I will handle the situation in here. Just stay in there and cry it all out.

- Know that you didn’t do anything wrong and say that to yourself three times.

- Can you do that?

He sat up and read Elaine’s text again. Wiping the tears from his eyes and sniffling, he started to read it out loud, but then found that he couldn’t. He tried to speak again, but the words were caught in his throat. His breath hitched, and he held a hand over his face as new tears fell.

“Damn it…”.

He thought he could finally move on and be free from the danger. To allow his children to grow up happy and healthy without such a poisonous past to bog them down. If he hadn’t let Percy wear the Mystery Skulls pin, if his son hadn’t resembled him, then Arthur would’ve remained hidden from Tempo, living happily in Cantabile with Elaine.

If only Percy hadn’t been bor-- No! No. Arthur slammed a fist against the wall as his thought rapidly swirled in his head. I—I can’t! I can’t blame him for this! This isn’t his fault! It never was! I saw how guilty Percy looked when he learned that it was because of his existence that Mr. Yukino was able to track me down! I can’t have him blame himself like I’ve been blaming myself this whole damn time!

In the end, Arthur knew that he only has himself to blame for everything.

I’ll need to find a way to make Percy understand later tonight. He looked at his phone to see the photos of his children. We’ve only been here for one day and everything’s already falling apart for me... He closed his eyes. I can’t let things fall apart for the kids, too.

His phone vibrated.

He checked the text message sent to him and hummed to himself as if answering to it. Wiping the tears from his eyes, Arthur stood up and unlocked the camper to let Elaine in. Holding his hand out to her, he gently pulled his beloved into the camper.

“Hey,” Elaine brought him close and kissed him, her eyes full of love and understanding, “I missed you, my star.”

“It hasn’t been that long,” Arthur could barely chuckle before the feeling of sadness returned, “I’m sorry for what happened earlier, I… I don’t know what came over me.”

“It’s trauma, my knight,” Elaine said as she guided him back to the bed. She paused upon seeing the tear-stained pillow but made no comment about it, “Aunt Morgan’s giving your uncle and his assistant the scolding of a lifetime. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen her that angry.”

“What about the kids?” He never meant to leave them.

“They’re outside the camper waiting for you to calm down. They know that you don’t want them to see you in your current state. That, and I didn’t want them to witness Aunt Morgan’s wrath,” Elaine went quiet for a moment, then turned to Arthur with a serious expression and held his hand like they usually do in their late nights of being awake, “Are you okay? Did you have flashbacks of when you were hurt?”

“…Yes,” Arthur knew that there is no point in hiding it as he brushed his free hand against the front of his neck, which still shows faint signs of a large burn scar shaped like a handprint, “I thought I was going to be burned again. Whenever I went near them, or I spoke to them, or even if they’re the ones who insisted on having contact with me, I’d get burned. It hurts so badly. I… I couldn’t stay in there. If I did, then Vivian might have… you know.”

“It’ll be okay, my star,” Elaine pulled Arthur closer to herself and gently ran her fingers through his hair, “You did okay, and Vivian is fine. So long as Gwen and Percy are with her, she won’t lose control.”

Arthur could only feel somewhat relieved. Vivian would be destructive with her power should she get upset, even with the charms, and seeing Arthur break down are one of the few things capable of doing just that.

“I want to go home,” he trembled as he spoke, “I know we can’t leave yet, but I can’t be here, Elaine. I can’t do it.”

“I know, my star,” Elaine whispered soothingly into his ear, “It’s true, you can’t do this alone. So I will be there for you all the way. You were hurt by them, and that trauma is not something you can forget so easily. Even though they’re desperate, they should have known that.”

Arthur leaned against her and closed his eyes. He felt so exhausted from everything today, from unwillingly setting foot to Tempo to even more unwillingly learning what had happened ever since he left. He knew for a fact that the people in Tempo want him back, but he can’t bring himself to forgive them for their rejection, for their painful words and actions when all he tried to do is apologize. Although whether his inability to forgive stems from anger or disappointment, Arthur isn’t sure which.

Ever since he met Elaine, while his life in Cantabile had some rocky moments here and there, he was living with a happiness he never thought he could have, and he didn’t want to let it go.

Both Arthur and Elaine were startled out of their embrace somewhat upon hearing someone knock on the camper’s door. After giving Arthur a kiss on the cheek, Elaine stood up and went to answer, and immediately backed up to let the children in.

Gwen shut the door behind her and locked it, then collapsed into one of the side seats, “Ugh, the drama is getting too ridiculous. I don’t even know what’s going on anymore!”

Arthur could’ve sworn he heard someone crying and wailing, but upon seeing his children not having any signs of tears on their faces, he shoved the thought away.

“What happened?” Elaine asked as Vivian immediately went to Arthur’s side.

“You know how Miss Belle was asking Dad to see if he could talk to her sister?” Percy raised a finger and looked uneasy, “Well, her sister’s here. She saw me, and, well…”

“What happened?” Elaine repeated and gestured for Percy to continue while Arthur listened.

Percy grimaced, “She mistook me for Dad and broke down crying. Sobbing, even. I couldn’t really tell what she was saying, but she was definitely apologizing for something regarding Dad.”

Elaine’s phone vibrated, which she quickly answered, “Aunt Morgan?”

Arthur could barely hear Morgan’s voice over the phone, but not enough to know what she’s telling Elaine.

“…What?” Elaine’s eyes widened, then looked at Arthur with a shocked expression before looking partially devastated, “But, that’s just…!” She blinked for a moment, then hardened her expression grimly, “I know. You know as well as I do that none of this is Arthur’s fault. How can it when he wasn’t even here when that happened?”

What is Morgan telling her?

“Yeah, I’ll let him know. Thanks,” Elaine hung up and took a deep breath, “I agree with you, Gwen. Even I don’t know what’s going on anymore.”

“Mom?” Gwen looked up, “What did Grandaunt say?”

Arthur has no idea what is happening anymore either as he gripped at his hair with a free hand. Things are spiraling out of control. More and more people are knowing about him being in Tempo and the kids are getting involved and everyone is starting to know about the children and--

“Mr. Yukino and Mr. Kingsmen were not kidding when they said that things were never the same after your father left. Not only have they lost so much, but they kept losing even more as punishment for their actions. First a son-in-law from the Yukino family died in an incident, and later that day…” Elaine trailed off and looked grim but did not show any pity.

“Elaine?” Arthur stood up to stand by her with Vivian still in his arms.

“There was a stillbirth in the Pepper family,” Elaine shook her head, and Arthur could tell that she was trying to restrain her emotions, “Cayenne lost her son.”

Wait. What? Did Arthur hear Elaine right? She couldn’t be talking about Cayenne, one of Lewis’s sisters and the prankster of the Pepper family, right? Cayenne Pepper, the little girl who often spiked his milkshakes with hot sauce or spicy peppers so long ago, had been married? And lost a child before it was even born?

But why would Cayenne Pepper cry upon seeing “him” through his son? She hated him and said so herself! The pranks that were more malicious that usual after learning what happened to her brother proved it. Replacing the icing of some cookies with toothpaste that made him vomit when he ate one and placing tacks in his coat pockets and shoes were just some of them…

“And from what Belle had told Aunt Morgan, she had several mental breakdowns and attempted suicide a few times, saying that she had to receive ‘punishment’ for what she did to you.”

…but Arthur knew he deserved Cayenne’s… hatred.

It was his… fault that her family was… torn a… part.

…

…

…Right?

 - - - - - - -

My eyes wide shut!

And I feel your touch!

Part 17: Fantasy

#mystery skulls animated #msa fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #msa arthur #arthur kingsmen #msa #msa knights #elaine knights #gwen knights #percy knights #vivian knights #...?

[andypridee]

A River’s Current | Challenge #1

here it is. i bring to you Andromeda Pride. well, andy preferably. I’m so sorry this is up sooo late but writing this was kind of a whirlwind. Please ignore any mistakes, i was writing this like a thousand miles per hour. Thank you sooo much to @arin-schreave and @itssara-oc for the rps i hope i wasn’t such a mess. so i leave you with andy. i hope you reading her as much as i enjoyed creating her.

bon appetit!

Silence flooded the room entirely. The day that just happened had been a whirlwind of things that made me completely uncomfortable. "Oh my God," I thought "This is going to continue for who knows how long" This was clearly the best time to understand the magnitude of my actions. Normally, I didn't think much before acting, but the consequences were not so huge. "Okay Andy, you're already here and there is no escape. Breathe. "

The huge room that had touched me was like a dream. A huge soft bed, a wardrobe that was a work of art in itself, a movie ceiling. "I guess this is it. The selection." A contest to win the prince's hand. Not even that. A contest to win what remains of the prince's heart, if it remains, to be able to one day be the queen of this country, although, in reality, it would only be an accessory for the king and his baby factory because obviously you have to follow the lineage And that's what women are for.

It was incredible that I could be and live, even for a short time, in a room as full of luxuries as that. Yes, my childhood had been privileged, I was aware of that, but this was just another level. He had seen, known and connected to so many places that not even in his deepest dreams could they have dreamed of something like this. And there were people who had so much power and money that this kind of room was simply a "guest room." It was increasingly difficult for me to think that solutions for millions of people were in the hands of a few who should actually provide solutions for those people.

How I wish Sierra had been there.

Anger and helplessness began to grow within me. The air didn't flow to my lungs and I had suddenly started hyperventilating. I went out on my balcony and saw around me. Everything looked so serene from afar. So uniform and so peaceful. I wanted to dive into it, keep walking until I got away from that huge and pretentious place. The edge of the balcony felt like a wall of bars to me. I was not made to live observing. And I didn't even know what I was doing here. I had no princess spirit, much less a queen. I needed to get out, talk, be able to experiment and especially help. Not standing still, looking pretty, saying the things that everyone wants to hear but being hopeful enough for those people who have almost nothing. Everything methodical, everything calculated. All coldly experienced, knowing that even if you want to do something and help, that would not make everyone happy, especially the most important ones. Living not in a home, but in an institution.

I closed my eyes for a moment and breathed. I saw a valley covered by the moon. Miles and miles spread before me, ready to be explored, ready for the unexpected. The cold air brushed my cheeks and I smiled. Then came the sea, with its smell of salt and freedom. The sun caressed my skin and comforted me. In the distance, seagulls were observed in mid-flight. This was what made me get up every morning. The possibility of a new, just, and caring world. A world wherein every place that the sea touched you could feel airs of hope and happiness.

I slowly opened my eyes and took another deep breath. I guess I couldn't do anything about my current situation anymore but I could take advantage of it.

I went to sleep with that image of the sea in my mind and I didn't wake up again until the morning rays touched my skin.

When I opened my eyes the day had already started without me. My maids, Audrey, Kate and Elaine, were fixing my room for a new day. Although I did not really understand why since everything looked extremely resplendent. The bathroom apparently was ready to tell from the condensation on the mirror and my outfit for the day hung neatly from the closet.

I closed my eyes once more wanting to be in my room in Zuni, or even in Waverly's bedrooms. Or anywhere outside of there. I opened my eyes again with the slightest hope that my wishes would come true. Obviously, they didn't, so I sighed and walked into the bathroom, ready to have at least 15 minutes of relaxation and privacy. That was, of course, until my maids started helping me.

"Um, ladies? I don't really know what to call them. Girls? Um well, I can do this alone if you don't mind. ”I tried to speak kindly to them.

"But, miss, we must help you in everything," Audrey replied in a concerned tone.

"I'm sure it doesn't refer to everything," I said, pointing to my body in the process.

"It is our duty, Miss Andromeda," Audrey replied politely.

I sighed “Okay, you can continue to do whatever other crazy duty you are dictated here but please just call me Andy. It is the only thing I ask of you. ” I said almost pleading.

"Okay, Lady Andy," Audrey answered again, who, apparently, was the one in charge of the three.

"Andy, Audrey. Andy. " I looked at her and tried to smile slightly.

"Okay La- Andy," she replied uncomfortably, but she had fulfilled what she had asked and that was an advance for me in the little that I had taken that morning, so I left it like that and I decided to violate what I considered privacy as too many levels.

-

OK. I was not a girl in dresses. And that was clearly inconvenient now. Looking at me in the mirror, I looked like a cupcake. Literally. It smelled of vanilla and everything. The dress itself was beautiful, white with gold accents and such a neat chest. Truly a work of art. But I was not wearing dresses. I felt uncomfortable and constricted, I could hardly breathe, and my arms could not rise more than 10 cm.

And now she was supposed to have breakfast in front of the queen and the royal family like that. Fantastic.

"Miss, you must go to your lesson," Elaine warned me before leaving.

"Lesson? Are we not supposed to have breakfast? ” I asked, starting to feel like my stomach was roaring under the tight corset of my cupcake dress.

"Before having breakfast in front of the royal family you must take an etiquette lesson." answered.

"They think we don't know how to eat? It can't be that different. Finally, it is the same process, you eat and drink. There is not much science. ”

"It is a requirement for all the selected ones," Elaine replied, trying not to get too agitated.

"So now I am that. One "selected". " I said, this time to myself. "Okay, I'll be down soon," I replied, a little more disappointed.

Going down that huge staircase I could see the other girls. All dressed in extremely precious dresses. Splendid walk. Perfect complexion. Hair like silk. And I, holding on tightly to the stair railing, afraid of losing my balance and hitting the living room on the floor. What a contrast.

I entered a large room, where tables were set up with their respective chairs. Several selected ones were already arranged in their places, so I looked for mine in that sea of ​​linen tablecloths and flowers with artificial smells.

Lady Andromeda

Thanks, mom and dad. They seriously couldn't choose another name.

I took a seat and turned the side of the card with my name face down. Then I smoothed down my dress and waited for something to happen, though I wasn't really sure what that would look like.

Finally, Princess Safiya entered the room and addressed us. She exuded airs of elegance and neatness. Almost like her brother but she seemed under control and ready to take charge of any situation.

"Good morning. I'm sure you're all ... eager to start seeing as you're meeting my brother shortly, so I'll try to keep this brief. ”

Eager? Really? Rather terrified of having to meet the prince. Oh, my God. Prince. Know him. Friend, if you want you can have me there all morning because we could say that the prince was not my favourite person in the royal family.

“Today I will begin to instruct you on conduct and protocol, a process that will continue for the duration of your stay. Please know that I will be reporting any missteps on your part to the royal family. ”

This was the most outrageous thing anyone could have said to me. Conduct and protocol? Who I am? A doll? What were the behaviour and protocol? To silence your mouth only and that everything is calm and courteous. Crap.

"I know it sounds harsh, but this isn't a game to be taken lightly. Someone in this room will be the next princess of Illéa. It is no small task. You must endeavour to elevate yourselves, no matter your previous station. You will become ladies from the ground up. And this very morning, you will receive your first lesson. ”

That was exasperating me, that situation they have to change their way of being because we do not consider it highly appropriate. She understood that they were the royal family but they were also ordinary humans. She didn't understand the need to be stiff and perfect all the time, much less at breakfast. It was quite a facade, because, let's be honest, who dresses like that to go to breakfast?

Suddenly, a very elegant brunette woman entered the room. It was Felicity Graham, the prince's ex-fiancée. She saw herself as a powerful woman, even on her own and without any ties to royalty or politics. She was the first person to impress me in the background since I got there.

He approached Princess Safiya and muttered something to her, and so they had an exchange of murmurs and increased the discomfort in the room by 87%.

Neither of us knew what was happening and I personally felt out of place and worse yet, too hungry to have a good attitude. We were there in front of them and they didn't even bother to make excuses.

I was about to get up and go get my well-deserved breakfast without any consideration of what might happen because I honestly didn't care. The faster I got out of there, the better. Safiya said something softly to Felicity but I didn't really bother to understand. Were they really taking away even more time?

“Table manners are very important, and before you can eat in front of the royal family, you must be aware of certain etiquette. The faster we get through this little lesson, the sooner you get to have your breakfasts, so faces forward, please. ”

Against my own will, I followed the instructions and continued the etiquette lesson, ridiculous as that sounds, albeit with some difficulty thanks to my dress. In the end, it was what was going to get me out of here and give me my breakfast without having to disrespect the princess in her face. Despite everything, I had always admired Princess Safiya for her tenacity and intelligence and she was frank, a quality that I will always respect people.

When mentioning the very retrograde etiquette instructions, there were one to two times that I almost laughed out loud. Not speak unless they spoke to us first? Really? She did not know that modernity and feminine emancipation had not reached the court of Illea. Even more so when our president was a woman like the queen.

"If you follow this one, I’ll be disappointed," Safiya added.

Well, one less person to disappoint, and at least the princess agrees with me on that ridiculous rule.

After something akin to a courtesy practice, although it seemed more like a classy torture session, and Princess Safiya completely reproved me with her eyes, we were free. My stomach at this moment was a huge furious mass and when my eyes looked at that oasis called buffet I swear that the angels sang. I'm not fully aware but I think I approached the buffet unusual and not very elegantly, filling my plate with delicacies.

I found my seat and got ready to ... eat. Actually, at first, it seemed like I was stuffed but I hadn't eaten anything since I woke up and that was going to be like two hours! But after the first three or four bites, I tried to keep my composure. Not because they had pointed it out to me but because I wanted to show them that we were perfectly fit people to eat without making a mess.

As soon as the guard who was going to escort me to that small room where the girls came and went came, my back stiffened. Usually, it was good under pressure and I wasn't nervous but this time we were talking about the prince, the actual price. I think the usual was not suitable for those occasions.

I got up from my chair with all the grace that can emanate and accompanied the guard to that little room. The first thing I glimpsed upon entering was the cameras. They were everywhere, pointing at different angles to a chair in the middle of everything. And there was Prince Arin waiting for me, standing a little too straight, a little too stiff, very rehearsed. I approached dubiously, looking back a moment but looking back at the prince, who gave me a small bow.

"Good morning, Lady ..." Her eyes searched for my little tag with my name on it. I guess learning 35 names overnight was difficult. "Andromeda." I almost winced when he said my name. Today had been a perfect day to call me Andromeda. "Please have a seat," he said as he gestured toward the sofa.

I did not know what to answer. My mind had gone blank. She only knew that she was in front of the prince, the heir of Illea. It was as if my conscious part had come out of my body and I was making a fool of myself. I bowed very badly and approached him. Safiya would certainly be disappointed in me, I thought.

"Hello! ... um... Good morning, Your Highness" I answered and took a seat on the sofa. "What the hell are you doing Andy? How old are you? Twelve? Act like a fully capable young lady and stop being silly. ” I said to myself as I tried to get comfortable on the sofa. Glancing back at Arin, I tried to smile slightly, concealing my disagreement.

He had settled next to me, turning his body so he could see me properly. There was something about his actions like they were too methodical and too rehearsed. He didn't seem like a natural person.

"How is your morning going?" he asked in a calm but neat tone of voice. How many times had she done this? He was probably not even paying attention anymore, just following a script and waiting for the morning to pass without any complications.

I, on the other hand, was a disaster. And the most irritating thing was that that wasn't me. I looked him in the eye and I got myself back together. "It's just someone else, there's no reason to be intimidated."

“Well let's say waking up inside a golden palace is a whole other way to start my morning, so pretty good so far. I must say, that breakfast of yours is going to spoil my appetite ”I said, while shaking my head, amused. I wasn't going to tell lies, that breakfast had been the best part of my morning.

He simply nodded and continued.

That’s good to hear. So you slept well then? ”

Again that studied tone. Breathe Although she wanted to explode, I continued the conversation, trying to cheer her up a bit. If he didn't want to have a good time, it was his problem.

"Like a dream, but you must know. I was a bit shocked at first when I got to my bedroom but then I calmed down. ” yes .. that little crisis.

"I'm glad to hear you were able to calm down." He looked for a moment at the cameras. Was that necessary? It was silly to ask, considering my experience with the bathroom that morning. "Which province are you from?"

I instinctively turned my gaze to the cameras for a second, uncomfortable with the situation. A mouse in a laboratory would have felt more comfortable than me. For a moment I felt my dress tighter, my hair straighter, my shoes smaller. I turned my gaze to Arin and replied. He continued to ask me questions and I answered them for a while. The weird thing was that he didn't comment on it like he wasn't even listening to me. I was trying to keep my composure but I was already exhausted. I wanted, first of all, to put on a good pair of pants and a shirt. Sleep all day and in the morning embark anywhere. Probably a remote island, accompanied only by Clifford and a coconut called René.

As the conversation progressed, I became more interested in it. A feeling of relief flooded my body and when I realized I was actually enjoying the conversation.

"It sounds like you enjoy it," he comments as he nods slightly.

"I do ... I think it’s a powerful way to tell the world’s history." I replied, a little excited.

"Do you plan on returning to journalism?"

"I have not abandoned journalism, it's just that I work for an NGO so that keeps me busy"

"What do you do there?"

"Well, I'm practically a wildcard. I've taught English and Maths to kids in Vietnam, I've helped to bring food to war-displaced communities, I've aided to build houses for a community made up of women, victims of family abuse, there's everything where you can help. "

Talking about my job was something I loved, but I didn't want to sound pretentious or anything like that, so I was glad when she continued to genuinely be interested in the conversation, or so it seemed.

He nodded, impressed and continued. That certainly sounds like a lot. I'm sure your family must be proud. ”

It was annoying that his only reaction to everything was to nod but he was so wrapped up in the conversation that I barely noticed. At the mention of my family, I gave a little laugh, funny.

Well, I don’t know. I'm sure my family thinks they contribute a lot to society as well. For my parents especially, it's just a complicated way to help when you can just donate a bunch of money and leave. ”

"Oh well, I'd be proud if I were them. It’s important to contribute to the ways you can. ”

"It is. It absolutely is. I believe that making change happen is the labour of everyone. Grain by grain great things can be built. ”

She nodded, again, and glanced at her watch, then turned to look at me.

"Thank you for speaking with me this morning, Lady Andromeda. It’s been a pleasure. ” She got up from the sofa, saying goodbye. "Please enjoy the rest of your stay."

"I'm sure that my stay he meant two hours while he finished with the rest of the girls," I thought.

But I tried to hide my true thoughts, so I got up and smiled confidently. Whatever happened, I think it would be fine.

“It has been surprisingly a pleasure. And please, call me Andy. My parents have been a little extra since ancient times. ” I joked, trying to make the stiff prince smile for the last time.

And fulfilling my goal, Arin smiled at me and nodded again. "This man and his head," I thought. But I did not care, I got him to show some emotion and that already progressed for me.

"Have a good rest of your morning, Andy."

-

“My parents thought so too but believe me, growing up as Andromeda was pretty tired. "I shrugged." Well, I don't believe so, for now, you are my only friend” me briefly, joking, as I usually did, about my name “the food here is the most heavenly thing ”

She was an extremely sweet and funny girl. I think it was a relief to be able to talk to someone without being afraid of being judged in the background, something very rare to find in the social circles that my parents made me frequent.

She giggled and answered “I can imagine. It's a beautiful name but it's pretty long and I'm assuming people have mispronounced it before? ” Her eyes lit up at the mention of our possible friendship ”That sounds like a deal. I'm your friend and you are mine. Don't take backs. ” And continuing with our conversation he added “It is pretty good. Where are you from? ”

“So many times! plus it is pretty weird so you can imagine ”I shrugged. "Sounds like a deal!" I told her and reached out my hand to close the deal, she took it, laughing, and we shook hands with each other but “From Zuni, originally. What about you? ”

"I kind of get your pain. Not many people know how to pronounce my last name. I'm from Whites! ”

"Well, I sure hope I'm pronouncing it correctly." I giggled a bit, something slightly unusual for me. "Oh! that's a great contrast ”I commented when listening to her native province.

"Don't worry, you're actually doing pretty good." She beamed and continued “It is! So what did you do before… ”she pointed around us, referring to La Selección“ all of this. ”

I smiled nostalgic, thinking about the life I had left behind. That life that had been built by me and only by me, and which was now thousands of miles from my reach.

“Well, I study journalism in Waverly and I work for an NGO, helping in poor communities. what about you? ”

“I have been volunteering in the orphanage here and there. I want to keep volunteering but the career I have makes it hard. ” she pouted a bit, making me smile. Sara was the sweetest person I’ve ever known. Usually, my friends and I expressed love with jokes and sarcasm, so hanging out with Sara was actually pretty recomforting. "I am a manager in my dad's business."

We talk about our jobs and our family. The more time passed, the more relaxed I felt, forgetting everything that had happened in the morning and feeling much more myself. Sara was a very sweet, interesting and impressive person. Being a manager in her father's store and volunteering. It is completely true that appearances are deceiving. At first glance, Sara seemed a very elegant but somewhat reserved person. Turned out to be funny and energetic. With airs of princess everywhere and kindness of heart, I was glad that there were girls with possibilities of winning, like Sara and genuinely began to root for her. We ended up talking about my family, especially my sister, Sierra. My sister was one of the people I missed the most and it had only been a day. We usually parted for months but we were a phone call away. This was completely different and he needed her more than ever.

"I'm lucky to have her. I believe that without her I wouldn't be here right now, ”I smiled wistfully, trying to control my tears instead. “Alright, so topic change because I don’t want to have mascara all over my face and make a fool of myself the first day, mmm what do you like to do outside work?”

Sara smiles and said “You really are the sweetest aren't you…” she gave me a sympathetic look and answered my question. Alright. We can definitely do that another day! ” * joked, making me smile and improve my spirits. "I? Well, I enjoy to read and write. Bullet journaling. Geocaching! I would love to travel more often. I love to learn more about different places. How about you? ”

"Count me in! crying out loud is one of my favourite things ever ”I commented sarcastically. “I have tried to do bullet journaling, trust me, it did not go well. But geocaching? what’s that? ” I've never heard of anything like that but I was truly curious "I LOVE-" had started screaming but then I remembered that morning's sermon and decided it was too early to start breaking the rules. "I love travelling!! it's my favourite thing to do in the whole world, I love to discover how diverse we can be in just one planet. I love photography as well, I have an album with all my trips, to see how a picture can tell a million words and a million emotions. ”

"I mean watching some sad movies can get you to cry out loud" Sara joked, continuing my joke. "Oh, I love it! Oh, geocaching is a bit of a weird hobby of mine. It's basically using GPS to find hidden treasures people have left behind. It's interesting for me. ” added with some regret. “I love travelling as well !! Are we possible soulmates? Long lost sisters? ” I smile with her eyes lit up. "Wow really? I would love to see it. Your album I mean. "

"Only if it's titanic" I joked. "But it sounds interesting like catching Pokémons or something like that, you have to invite me some time" I smiled, interested in my friend's hobby.

"I know! it's crazy!” I laughed and continued "where have you been?” And finally answered her request. “Well I could show it to you sometime, I secretly sneaked it in because my mother almost banned me from bringing it, ”I whispered.

"Obviously only titanic." she chuckled, joking. "It is! I have found several interesting things when I go geocaching. ” she grinned as I mentioned my interest in geocaching “Someday for sure!” she said, smiling widely. "It is! I hope to do that often. Travel I mean. I have been here and there but I barely had time to really immerse myself to each province. The farthest I've gone is New Asia. ” she leaned in when I started whispering “Oh really? I would love to see it. I'm glad you sneaked it in. ”

------

The sun had begun to set over the city of Angeles and a beautiful yellow light sheltered the city. The day that just passed had been, honestly, an emotional roller coaster. I had survived my first day of the Selection and I still hadn't made a complete fool of myself. I didn't know if I was going to be there in 24 hours or if this was only going to be a one-day vacation but at that point, it didn't matter anymore. Despite all my opinions regarding the Selection and what was happening, I was beginning to realize that not everything was completely bad and that in reality if I could not change the course of the river, I could at least travel with the current. I was afraid that maybe I would lose myself in the process for, apparently, it was something I couldn't control. The only thing I could do was make sure that day after day when I looked in the mirror, I kept seeing the same girl who wanted to contribute to the change. No matter what happened.

[sarah-bae-maas]

Can we have more of Elains son and azriels daughter being mates plz.

You may my darling!

***

She did not know what to do.

He was nice, and as horribly wild as her, andhis personality was as fiery as his hair, but she did not know if she wanted amate at her age. She had left him only hours ago, leaving him in the sacredforest after hours of awkward yet nice conversation, and was now absentmindedlyrunning her hands through the sand that lined the Sidra, cast completely inshadows as she huddled under one of the many bridges like a water troll. Herfeet were bare and she was wiggling her toes in the water, squirming as tinyfish came to nibble on them.

A mate. When she was so very young.

“I didn’t expect to see you here so soon.”

Her tense shoulders relaxed at the sound of herolder brother’s voice. She gazed up at him, his hair the same blonde as hersand his Illyrian tattoos snaking so far down his arms she could see them on hishands even though he was wearing a jacket. She silently admitted to herselfthat she should’ve gone to see him rather than wallow under a bridge, he wasvery knowledgeable on mates, having met his own as a young lad, and would knowwhat to do.

“Oh Raziya,” he sighed. He sat down next to herand placed a hand on her shoulder, his presence calming. “It’s not as bad as itseems, I promise.”

“I know it’s not bad, I just don’t know if thisis something I want. I’ve never liked being so… confined to a reality.”

He hummed in agreement, knowing her better thananybody.

“Please tell me what to do.” She turned to himwide eyed and diminished, leaning her head on him and reaching for his hand. Itwas a habit she’d had since she was a babe, and it used to scare the hell outof her father Azriel and mother Morrigan. She would take her brother’s hand andsteal his wedding band. She would twirl it in her fingers, focusing on the glintof gems and onyx rather than whatever she was feeling at the time. Her parentswere scared she would swallow it and lodge it in her throat, but the morbidfear never came to fruition. Her big brother was always too close and tooprotective to let that happen. Well, not with the ring. A few coins maybe.

The ring was the flashiest thing he owned,other than his crown, and it had transfixed her since the moment she’d beenborn. Now, even though she was certainly no child, she did the same thing, hergracious brother letting her.

“You don’t have to accept this bond. The choiceis completely yours, but I would suggest you at least get to know him properlyfirst, separate from the expectations that come when he’s the child of Lucienand Elain. I know when it came to my mateship, I preferred having been friendswith her first. I fell in love with her long before I felt the bond.”

“Friends.” She could do that. She lightlysplashed her feet in the water, making it spatter across onto her brother. Hewrinkled his nose as it landed on his face, and grinned as he wiped it away.

“I’ve heard good things about that one,” hesaid, referring to her mate. “I actually know him quite well since he spent somuch time at the Illyrian camps. He’s… eccentric. Calculating. A lot likeHelion in that sense.”

She grinned and stood up, wiping off the sandfrom her flowing skirt and inadvertently getting it on her brother.

“You’re so wise in your old age,” she told him.

“Where are you going?” he asked, his handgrasping her elbow before she could disappear. His face was stony with concernfor her, and it was clear that he would prefer she went home with him then wanderoff again.

“To go be friendswith my mate.” She grinned and turned, but she felt her brother’s magic leashher there before she could winnow.

“What?” she demanded.

“My ring, Raziya. Do you know the wrath I wouldface if I lost that?” he laughed, and caught the glinting band as she tossed itback to him. Maybe not so hesitant about her wandering then. “And I’m not thatold.”

“Poor Prince Kaden, I’m sorry for troubling youso.” She blew him a kiss before whirling into nothing as she winnowed off toanother court.

_____

His grandfather had given him free reign todestroy a forest in the Day Court. He had said that the vegetation was sparse andwas having trouble growing – having it burned to nothing but ash and cinderswould do it good.

So, there he was, spewing flames and making itrain hellfire. He made it tear through the trees and lick up their trunks untilthey were disintegrating. The grass covering the ground didn’t stand a chanceagainst him. It wasn’t even graceful patterns or his normal controlled magic,there was no elegance to the catastrophic nature of his flames.

He was breathing heavily, sweat dripping downhis bare chest as he walked through and demolished everything in his path. Later,he would plant the seeds so the forest could start anew, like how now the seedof thought about his mate had been planted in him, and he would never be thesame. He never thought he would find a mate, let alone now. He should haverealised it was an inevitability – his family had an uncanny number of mates init.

When he finished, he stood and looked aroundhim. For kilometres around him there was nothing but warm black dust thatswirled and spread with the wind, and finally his heavy and fast thoughts wereat ease.

Earlier that morning had not been the firsttime he’d met Raziya, but it had been the first time in years. She had grown fromthis slightly gangly teenager to this strong woman, tall and powerful.

She reminded him of his fire.

As if his thoughts of her summoned the ladyherself, he heard her melodic voice say, “What did these poor trees ever do toyou, Lord Lachlan?”

He turned so quickly he kicked up the asharound him, but she didn’t seem to care as it matted into her hair, making it acollage of black and golden. The ash at her feet was gurgling and surging aroundher, but on closer inspection it was simply her shadows dancing.

“Sometimes for something to grow, it has toruined first.” He tried to look her in the eyes, but her gaze was stuck on hischest.

He was well aware of how good looking he was.Defined muscles, short hair that extenuated his jaw line, eyes that screamed atyou to join him in bed, he was a real catch – confident, and only slightlyconceited. Never before had he had trouble getting girls into bed. She,however, might be a challenge.

“Hm.” She finally looked him in the eyes, hersmile feline. Although they had spent hours that day talking, and, well,shamelessly flirting on his part, her smiles had all had an unanticipated kindnessin them. He’d heard of her reputation; she was a woman who had no interest inrelationships, least of all her own, and had the sort of independence andstrength that could take over the world if she wanted. It seemed like that wasnow shining through.

“I was under the impression that it would be agreat while before I saw you again.” It was true; when she’d left him earlierthat day, her indifference to him was apparent. She’d spoken to him the way onemight speak to a close friend, and she had made no actions that made him thinkshe was interested in what he had to offer.

A Court. That is what he might one day be ableto offer this wild woman. He had never loved a woman before, but maybe he coulddo that to.

“Lucky for you, I have a rather intelligent brotherwho convinced me of your cause.”

Lachlan scoffed. “I don’t know if intelligentis the word for Kaden. It doesn’t seem to really convey his depth of knowledge.”

“That is true,” she conceded. “There are plentyof things he knows better than anyone else – more than any library, any ancientfae or queen or creature. I am one of those things.” She stalked over to himuntil she was only inches from him, the heat from his body surely making heruncomfortable.

“And what did he say to convince you to see meagain?”

“I told him of my aversion to having a mate.”

Lachlan had to stop himself from blanching ather words. His muscles did visibly tighten though. At the sight, she reachedout a hand and grazed it across his tan skin.

“And he said although a mate right now is… notideal, a friend isn’t.”

“A friend?” From the small morsel he hadalready gotten from her earlier, he knew that to have this woman, even if asjust a friend, would be an honour. One, considering his depraved behaviour inthe past, he did not know if he deserved.

But then again, she seemed just as depraved ashim.

“I need you to know that I want to get to knowyou. To explore this.” She gestured between them. “But I cannot make youpromises. Do not take this as me leading you on somehow.”

“I hear you loud and clear.” He smirked at her.

“I don’t want a mate,” she clarified. “Not now,maybe not ever.”

“Perfectly understood.”

____

Four years later, Raziya awoke to Lachlangently using his fingers to comb out the many knots from her hair, all createdthe night before from roaming hands. She hummed at how nice it felt to have himnext to her, even after all this time, as the morning sun seared their backsthrough the open window.

“We should get up,” she said as she had no intentionof doing so at all.

“It can wait.”

“Our whole family is waiting for us,” shesighed, trying to psych herself into getting up.

“Helion owns the hall where we’re having theceremony, time isn’t an issue here.”

That was true. They had decided to have theirofficial mating ceremony in the great halls of the Summer Court, the spiral labyrinthsa poetic joke between the pair – the winding, complicated towers to reflect howcomplicated they sometimes were.

“Although true, I’m also ready to shout fromthe fucking rooftops that you’re my mate.” She rolled over so she wasstraddling him – not to be sexual, but so she could be as close to him aspossible. She leaned down on his chest, her cheek pressed to his heart.

“Well, you did take your time on that one,” hechuckled, pinching her sides.

“I love you.” She leaned up rested her foreheadon his, thanking the Cauldron, as she did every day, that she fell in love withher best friend.

“I am very lovable,” was all he said before hetook her once more, showering her with the passion he had felt for her themoment the bond had snapped into place.

#acohad extra #i guess #i don't know what this is #but have fun with it!

[elaine-white-author]

I’ve been scrolling through my current Works in Progress, to see what I might be able to share with you.

The Angelicae series is an oldie but a goodie. I planned this a few months after I completed the Cacodemon trilogy, as a potential spin-off trilogy. However, the stories never really took off the way I hoped and now, so much time has elapsed since the Cacodemon trilogy that I think making it a spin-off would probably not be the best idea. So I’m hoping to make it into a standalone series, instead.

Plus, these are some of my ALL TIME favourite self-made covers that I’ve ever made. I can’t lie. I love them and I’ve been so excited to share them with you guys!

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#gallery-0-6 { margin: auto; } #gallery-0-6 .gallery-item { float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 33%; } #gallery-0-6 img { border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; } #gallery-0-6 .gallery-caption { margin-left: 0; } /* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes/media.php */

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Angelicae

Declan never expected to be courted by an angel. Never mind the infamous Caelethius. Being dragged into a world of angels, demons and cults, it was to be expected that he’d get to meet one of them, one day, but to discover that they’ve been watching him is a shock. To find out one of them needs his help is…well, it’s just plain weird.

A chance meeting, an online chat room, and a historical book all come together to change Declan’s life…only time will tell whether it’s for the best or if it’s just another nightmare come true.

~

Extract

(unedited)

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Chapter 1

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Someone was stalking him. He knew, because the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end and there was that brief hint of something in the air that spoke of having company. Something that tasted like secrets and lies, with a faint aroma of seduction.

Fuck. Not Cade, then.

Perry didn’t change his pace, knowing that another predator – human or otherwise – would detect the adjustment. He’d been stalked, and stalked himself, enough times to know what that would lead to. Over confidence. The thrill of the chase. An adrenaline rush. All bad things.

Three steps later the sulphur reached his nostrils and he sighed, stopping his progress towards the house just a few feet away. Not from fear or a need to protect those within the walls ahead. They could all take care of themselves. Frustration stopped him in his tracks, while Perry tried hard to fight the instinctual anger that always arose.

“You better be here to see your son,” he warned, though that would be a novelty in and of itself. Not that he would complain. He didn’t want to see Lucifer any more than he wanted the kids to see him, but Samael was his true son and they deserved to have a relationship. As much as Lucifer would allow.

Still, things had been quiet for nearly two years. Two lovely, wonderful years. Things were never quiet when Lucifer appeared.

Turning in place, he was surprised to find what he was looking for sitting on the front porch of the house. Lucifer had his usual shadow – all black, cane poised elegantly beneath his left hand, while the bottom was placed perfectly in line with his left foot, his right ankle crossed over his knee in a pose of calm. Not what he expected to find. And not where he thought to find it.

Curious, Perry continued towards the house, walking up the front path before pausing by the porch bench. “Why are you following me?” he asked, refusing to pretend they weren’t playing this game again. Cat and mouse. Only, this time, he’d caught Lucifer in his games, which was an unexpected deviation.

Lucifer solidified into the shape of a real man, while heaving a sigh that sounded part exhaustion and part frustration. As always, he was the same thin, elegantly dressed man he’d always communicated with. “I came to ask a favour,” he announced calmly, his voice masking the fear and frustration more easily than his body could.

Suspicious, Perry stepped forward, into the light of the porch lamp. “I might have known. Every time you show up, there’s trouble,” he complained, turning towards the front door.

“Thank you.” Lucifer preened under the words.

“That was not a compliment,” he explained, though he wasn’t at all surprised by Lucifer’s quick reply.

“I shall take it as one, regardless.”

Ignoring him, he extracted his keys from his jacket pocket, only just resisting the urge to roll his eyes. The boys were out tonight, at one of Shiloh’s band’s concerts, while Cade had gone hunting and Perry had stepped out to take care of a few tasks of his own.

He put the keys in the door and unlocked it, relieved that the boys had listened to him about locking up. He’d had an ill feeling for the past two weeks that no one could explain away. Still, the boys thought he was paranoid, imagining chaos only because their lives had been far too quiet lately. As though he hated peace and quiet.

“I sensed you were heading home, so thought I would wait for your return. The others are not so…understanding…of our bond,” Lucifer claimed, with a sneaky smirk that grated on his nerves.

Perry could only scoff. After a few years of dealing with Lucifer’s little crush on him, he’d come to terms with it. He was never going to shake the Father of Lies, unless some more interesting soul crossed his path. And he wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

He removed his jacket and hung it on the hallway peg, before joining Lucifer in the living room. Perry took a seat on the sofa and watched Lucifer dust a piece of lint from the armchair he’d chosen. “So, what is this favour?” he wondered.

He could tell something was wrong. There were waves of frustration and, impossibly enough, fear, coming from Lucifer and it disturbed him. Who had pissed in the Devil’s garden and hoped to get away with it?

“There are some…believers…who think they can summon me and help me “rise” again to glory,” he replied, rolling his eyes before raising them to meet Perry’s. “They forget that I fell from Heaven and chose Hell all by myself,” he elaborated, though it didn’t tell him much about what kind of trouble he expected to face from a bunch of human believers.

Still, the idea of some cult ‘raising’ Lucifer from Hell was terrifying. “And exposing yourself, to explain, would cause all kinds of trouble,” he realised, now even more worried than before. Just how was Lucifer going to deal with this threat, if he couldn’t make an appearance and tell them to back off?

“Precisely.” Lucifer nodded, returning his mind to the present.

With a nod, Perry decided there was nothing to do but watch Lucifer closely, hoping to see some sign of what concerned him so much that he appeared so out of the blue. It would be easier if he just spat it out, but Lucifer had never been good at expressing himself. But there was one thing he was good at: showing up when Perry was alone, hoping to have a private word with him, where the kids and Cade couldn’t divert his attention. Or he would call Cade to Hell, to receive orders.

A personal visit to the house spelled real trouble. Why hadn’t he mentally requested Perry’s attention? He had no trouble invading his mind, even in intimate moments, just to have a quick chat. So why show up in person? Why now?

“My presence is required in the human world, whispering encouragement to the right people in this cult, to try to discourage their plans. And, if you would, I would appreciate your input,” he hinted, not explaining the circumstances.

Curious. What was it he was afraid to say? “You want my input because…I was human?” he guessed, trying to put the very vague pieces together. “Because, if these supporters succeed in raising you from your pits of Hell, where they think you’re trapped, that would be a problem for all of us, right?”

“Oh, undoubtedly,” Lucifer agreed with a grin that could give a person nightmares. Thankfully, Perry was immune to his tricks of the trade. Which left him able to listen and pick out the key details of what was really going on. “There is no way for me to convince this cult that they are wrong, without proving that I exist, which could further inspire them to continue or expand their cult,” he admitted, a little more calmly than Perry liked. “But, something must be done before they attempt to summon me, as success would undoubtedly bring nothing but chaos, violence and evil to the human world.”

Lucifer settled in his seat and sighed, while laying his cane against the arm of the chair. “Think of what little you saw of Hell, then imagine that running rampant in the human world,” he said, stressing just how serious the situation was. “Imagine what could happen if demons were running loose in your world, unchecked. Imagine then what would happen when the angels are too busy fighting those demons and containing their chaos, when they should be helping innocents,” he continued.

“It would be Hell on Earth,” Perry realised, nodding in understanding. What he didn’t say, but which screaming loud and clear in his mind, was that Lucifer would only be scared of these human cultists if they had the ability to do what they planned to do. So just how had they gotten their hands on a legitimate way to summon the Devil?

“Yes. And, in that case, there would be no place for me,” Lucifer agreed, confessing to one of the real reasons that he sounded so scared. Because, if there was no place for the Devil, then just where would Lucifer go? What would happen to him, if he wasn’t needed anymore?

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Author Bio

Elaine White is the author of multi-genre MM romance, celebrating ‘love is love’ and offering diversity in both genre and character within her stories.

Growing up in a small town and fighting cancer in her early teens taught her that life is short and dreams should be pursued. She lives vicariously through her independent, and often hellion characters, exploring all possibilities within the romantic universe.

The Winner of two Watty Awards – Collector’s Dream (An Unpredictable Life) and Hidden Gem (Faithfully) – and an Honourable Mention in 2016’s Rainbow Awards (A Royal Craving) Elaine is a self-professed geek, reading addict, and a romantic at heart.

You can keep in touch with Elaine on the following sites:

Website

Facebook Goodreads Instagram BookBub

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WIP Spotlight: Angelicae I've been scrolling through my current Works in Progress, to see what I might be able to share with you.

#blurb #excerpt #extract #novel #progress #spotlight #story #teaser #work #writing

[uprootedandrelentless]

Catching Up - Miraya

This December while I was traveling in Budapest with Olivia we started talking about how we should continue Uprooted and Relentless. It had been two years since we’d posted last and we were all in such different places than before. While in our hotel, we had a Skype call with Elaine, fueled to get the blog going again. Then Christmas hit, then New Years, we all got busy and no one posted. Out of the blue a few days into the new year I received an email from a girl I’d met in New York; she was just dropping me a note to let me know that she’d been reading our old blog as she navigates “the struggles of 20-something adult life” and said it was comforting and inspiring to get a glimpse into our journeys, knowing where she is now, a few years behind. Well I took that as an ah-ha moment that we must start writing again! Maybe we’ll inspire others, but at very least we’ll motivate ourselves and each other as we navigate the remaining years of our 20s.

So how to start? Two years ago when I last posted I was just launching my events company, Pop Productions. Now two years later I finally feel like the pieces are starting to line up, but still there is so much to learn and figure out. Each day and month have been so different, with the uncertainty of client work and project deadlines. I’ve gotten to organize some pretty incredible events all over the world from a Kiva launch for 1000 community members in Oakland to The ShopUp boutique children’s shopping fairs in LA, NY and London and Airbnb host conferences in Chicago and New York. I also partnered with my friend Liang to launch New York’s first dessert festival, Dessert Goals, which wildly exceeded our expectations. If you had asked in the beginning of 2016 what I would be doing at the end of the year, I never would have guessed I’d be planning a dessert festival, but now I couldn’t imagine not doing it.

I’m still figuring out what Pop Productions is and the types of events I want to focus on but along this journey I definitely feel like I’m getting closer to creating the life I want to live. In March I moved into my own one bedroom apartment in Brooklyn and created a Pop Productions studio out of the living room, with crafting accessories, storage for event supplies and decor galore. I wanted to create a living and working environment for myself where I could be productive from home while making my own coffee and lunches. In the beginning of the year I had two contract employees and it was motivating creating a team, then a few months after that it was back to just me. In June I hired my first full time contractor who would work from my home most days. As we entered into the busy fall season of events, we divided outreach and tasks. Then at the end of the event contracts, it was back to me myself and I. With all the travel this year for work, I extended my trips to see friends and family. While running Pop Productions solo I have much more flexibility to work remotely. Right now I envision two futures for Pop Productions; in one version I imagine a team of us working out of an office but I also see another version where it’s just myself, bringing contractors on for specific events, with more freedom to travel. For now I feel like I can’t really plan out one over the other, I just have to see what happens with the clients and events I work on and when/if it makes sense to grow my team.

At the end of October I wrapped up all of my events for the calendar year except for The ShopUp in December in London. It was the strangest feeling from the weeks before not being able to sleep because of to do lists running through my head and calls all day, to then having no concrete deadlines or tasks. I knew I’d be planning The ShopUp twice in 2017 and Liang and I had plans for growing Dessert Goals, so there was plenty I could be doing, but since The ShopUp was flying me to London for the event and I had this break in my schedule, I decided to take some time to travel. What I thought would be a solo trip turned into a 23 day whirlwind in 11 cities and meeting up with friends and family along the way. 5 nights in London, 2 in Budapest, 3 in Amsterdam, 4 in Belgium, 5 in Spain and 3 in Portugal. As usual on my trips I often think I’ll have some great revelation, discover something about myself, be inspired - and as usual this didn’t happen. I ate so much amazing food, explored castles, relaxed in ancient baths, devoured chocolates, and enjoyed life. I slept peacefully each night with the only stress of what time to catch a flight or re-packing my suitcase, no emails and contracts to dread. Occasionally anxiety would hit that I needed to be planning, but I tried to remind myself that after a year of hard work I deserved this break to unplug.

2017 is about to bring a lot of changes for me, the biggest is this April I’ll be leaving New York to move to Los Angeles with my boyfriend Matt. I never thought I would leave New York, especially for a guy, but here I am. Even though I’ve been here for almost 5 years, I don’t feel like I’m done with New York, I still love the energy and the people, and I know I’ll be back lots. As cliche as it sounds, my love for Matt exceeds my love for New York. When I’m with him I feel at home more than I do in New York. Matt is moving to LA to pursue screenwriting and I’ll be joining him to expand Dessert Goals, The ShopUp and whatever other event opportunities come my way on the west coast (or elsewhere, as I can still travel for events!).

Matt and I have known each other for 12 years, we went to high school and college together, and have been dating since May long distance (he’s in Oakland). I’ll be moving all my belongings across the country and moving in with a guy for the first time. After being long distance for almost a year and seeing each other for a few days every month, it’s going to be quite the adjustment of seeing each other every day and both of us working from home. I’m definitely nervous but I’m mostly excited. It feels like the perfect next step for us to go to a new city together as opposed to sliding into one of our own cities and lives. We’ll decorate our home, discover restaurants, establish friends, together.

I just finished reading the book The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter and How to Make the Most of Them about how your 20s are your most important years of your life. A friend suggested I read it and instantly I thought that it sounded stressful, but decided to give it a shot. The book is broken up into three sections, work, love and mind & body as the author, Meg Jay who got her PHD in clinical psychology from UC Berkeley (Go Bears!), chats with clients, recites stats and shares advice on navigating situations in your 20s. One of my takeaways was about how influential your 20s are in gaining experiences to navigate the rest of your life. The connections, the capital, the learnings will be what impact the next steps. I always have felt by 30 I’ll have it all figured out, a common feeling amongst the subjects in the book, but as long as we’re taking active steps towards figuring it out, we’re headed in the right direction.

With the upcoming move to Los Angeles, constant uncertainty of client work or my daily schedule, it’s easy to stress. I’m honestly not sure what Pop Productions will look like when I’m 30 (which is only 3.5 years away) or even the end of this year. But I do know I’m meeting so many people, gaining valuable experiences and putting on events I am proud of. I’m excited what the future unfolds… and to share the journey here.

I got to see my Uprooted ladies more this year than ever before! Claire, who lives in Oakland, where Matt lives, jokes that Matt is good for our friendship which is true because I get to see her so much! I visited Elaine in Irvine when I was in LA for meetings and saw Olivia in New York, London and Budapest. Here are some photos of us that make me smile :)

-Miraya

#new york #losangeles #moving #travel #budapest #blog #new years #events #event planning #defining decade #berkeley #20s #Pop Productions