#I WAS 18 WHEN I WROTE THIS??? 18????????

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

I haven’t read this section of Feeding Habits in probably 3 years & tell me how I wrote ALLLL of this before I watched Hannibal

The confessional smells rank, like rotting paper and expired cologne, its corners seedy with overuse. Scratches mar the fabric he rests his elbows on, like someone clawed into it while reliving their sins, track marks on the floor from a rainy day. He can’t imagine anyone else but him in this small box, caged in by the lattice, mumbling incoherent sins to the priest he hasn’t even committed. Stealing a set of glass eyeballs from a garage sale. Forgetting his wedding anniversary. Missing Easter Sunday mass to go whale watching. He doesn’t sign himself at the right times or speak at the right times or thank the priest at the right times. He lies when he’s asked if he’s lied since his last confession. He mentions nothing of drinking with Anya, of not saving the sheep or the bunnies even though he knew the outcome of their lives without finishing the program. Of being a wicked child, of knowing wicked children, of not knowing the difference between wickedness and innocence, and which one he learned first. He says his name is Luka. He works at a law firm. He’s married to a Harriet, a seamstress or a stock broker or an antiques trader—he doesn’t know. He likes golfing, parcheesi, drinking martinis on yachts. He’s never overindulged, he’s loyal to his woman, he wants three kids and a house with finished floors and no neighbours. He’s a good father, a gentle father, a careful father, no wickedness, just an empty shell of goodness, like a father should be. His father is retired, and visits him on weekends—they play checkers, paint birdhouses, keep a distance but toast with spirits he can’t pronounce. Everything is good—it’s all good, all good. That’s not a sin, the priest should say but they laugh—it’s good to be good. Children are good, marriage is good, fathers are good, everything an iteration of good. By the time his confession is over and he’s well on his way out of the church mumbling I am heartily sorry, he believes his lies are true—he’s absolved into someone new, Luka married to Harriet, three kids, an empty shell, dreamily stumbling through a house with finished floors that’s actually just the sidewalk until a woman passing by with two small children has to help him sit on the curb.

She asks if he needs something to drink, if he needs someone to call, and emerges with a half-empty bottle of sparkling water and a cell phone. She asks what’s wrong with his eye, and he doesn’t know what’s wrong with anything—with eyes, with children, with sins, with confessions, with baptisms, with orange juice, with madeleines, with wickedness, with practicing how long he can breathe underwater because he knows it’s possible just like walking on it.

One of the children, hair pulled into two plaits secured with pearlescent butterflies, pokes at her mother and asks if he’s crazy. Her mother shushes her at the same time her older sister shows him a cool trick she learned with a toy convertible. Its wheels whir. Lonan gasps. The girl says, “Even crazy people think I’m gifted,” and wheels the car again. People stop to watch. Church bells gong an elegy he’s sure he’s heard before. The woman’s sparkling water dribbles from his mouth and dampens his dress shirt. Sun eclipses his face and eats at his throat like a parasite, like it knows all the unclean things about him, a watcher, an eyeball, a scorching little thing that bullets through his neck like the tooth of a wolf. The woman shushes her children and asks if he’s got a health problem, a drug problem, any problem, and he could say yes to all three but instead keeps repeating I am heartily sorry, I am heartily sorry. And when she does call someone, no one he knows, he leans against the cool pavement, cranes his neck to the sky, and parts his lips so the sunlight fills his mouth.

#I forgot Lonan has FH chapters LOLLLL #knowing now that this canonically comes after Hallowed Bodies is so exciting to me #LIKE YEAHHH HIM RETURNING TO A CHURCH AFTER GOING TO CHURCHES ALL SEPTEMBER #anyway the lack of paragraph breaks is giving garth greenwell #I WAS 18 WHEN I WROTE THIS??? 18???????? #does anyone remember this lol he’s so epic fail to me #ALSO HARRIET LOL hey girl 💅💅 #if we’re curious I watched Hannibal after writing the first scene of chapter 3 LOL I couldn’t get thru a scene and was like #I wanna look at hugh dancy #it worked! #also Lonan being ‘crazy’ is something I did not realize was pre established before HB but like duhh #everyone has been concerned for his well-being since like 2016

[cerise-on-top]

Hugging, Kissing and Cuddling HCs for König

I'm trying to see him in another light again after everything I've seen about him, so I decided I'd write something fluffy and nice for him. And then came the realization I never wrote some HCs like these for him in my original posts, so I decided I'd change that! He's Austrian, so naturally I have to love him!

When it comes to hugging someone, König is a bit hesitant. Considering he’s not the most physically affectionate person out there, it’s almost an honor to be receiving an unprompted hug from him. Whether his hugs are long or short depends on the occasion: If he’s proud of you for accomplishing something, then the hug will be rather short lived. Though, he might pick you up and spin you around until you’re dizzy. If you’re sad and need some comfort then his hugs could last a while. He’s not the best with words, he prefers to listen to other people, but if he knows a hug is what usually helps you then he’s willing to do so. Despite being a big and strong lad his hugs are surprisingly gentle, he’s worried about crushing you. He could put his all into them, but then you’d likely end up with a few broken ribs and he doesn’t want that to happen. König is also surprisingly warm, so receiving a hug from him is a rare, but nice experience. Although he does go rigid at the beginning, not knowing what to do, but relaxes into the hug eventually.

Again, he’s not a very physically affectionate person, but isn’t opposed to the occasional peck on the cheek or on your lips either. There is some anxiety whether you’d actually want a kiss from him or not, so he doesn’t kiss you very often, even if you do reassure him that it’s quite alright. He’s a bit tense at first when he presses a kiss to your lips, but calms down eventually. It’s especially bad during the beginning of your relationship, but he’s since gotten better at being calm about it. Since there’s a good chance he’s taller than you he loves giving you a kiss on the forehead. It’s a small but sweet gesture. He doesn’t need to bend down entirely to reach you but he still gets to be affectionate with you. However, if you’re on the taller side, or just as tall as he is, then he’d love to receive kisses to his temple from you. It makes him smile every time you do it. If he’s in the mood for receiving a kiss then he’ll lay his head on your shoulder and nudge you a bit. Or try to get his head in your closer vicinity. Kind of like that one bunny video where the bunny stretches to receive some kisses.

Cuddles with him are a bit more common than hugs actually. However, he refuses to lay down on top of you. If you’re shorter and weaker than him then there’s no chance he’ll put his weight on you, he’s just that afraid of hurting you. If you’re taller or just more muscular, then he might, but he’s still a rather heavy lad. Most he’ll do is put his head on your shoulder while you’re cuddling in bed and are both lying down. Although it’d be a lie to say he doesn’t want to be held. König is alright with being the one to hold you, but sometimes he would prefer to be the little spoon as well. That urge gets especially bad if you’re roughly the same size as him. Sometimes just nuzzling into your chest does the trick for him as well, though. Loves it when you run your fingers through his hair as he does so. Another thing he adores is you sleeping on his chest as he holds you. He gets to hold you close, he gets to protect you and he gets to doze off a bit himself, it’s bliss to him. Sometimes he leans down to press a kiss to your head and accidentally wakes you up like that. He feels bad about it and apologizes profusely, but does chuckle a bit when he sees your disheveled hair and your tired expression that shows you just woke up.

#cod #cod x reader #konig #könig #konig x reader #könig x reader #he actually kind of scares me these days even if I don't want that to happen in the slightest so I'm trying to desensitize myself again #I know people always joke about fanon könig vs canon könig but I think I will write him a bit softer with his s/o again #just to combat all those awful things I've seen about him that I don't want to be true and that I also want to forget about #könig is a big lad so I knew from the beginning I wanted him to be good at hugging because this is self indulgent #I feel like if it weren't for his anxiety he'd be much much cuddlier #because that's the case with me even if I have other things going on as well #and what is a funny character you write about if not another piece of yourself? #I've put so much of myself into some of these characters and yet people keep requesting them so I must be doing something right #it's more fun that way as well when you put your characters through something you've gone through. more relatable too #but I think that's something pretty much every writer does. that's why some requests are so difficult to write #I got one about marrying Laswell and Nikolai and that was a difficult request for me because the last wedding I went to #was my parents' and that was almost 18 years ago. man time flies I was 4 years old back then #so naturally I don't remember much either. But I tried and that's what's important! #either way please enjoy this piece of fluff I wrote today!

[crows-of-buckets]

Edelgard was 18.

Edelgard was 18 and held the entirety of her future in her hands. She was 18 and alone, 18 and scared, 18 and angry.

Edelgard was 18 sitting at a desk. Her desk. The walls of her room at the officers academy felt just as much protection as they did a cage at that moment. The wooden floors creaked under the weight of her chair.

Tomorrow things would change. Her and Hubert would walk alone, and together they would face down former friends turned foes as they carved their bloody path.

They would face the professor.

Edelgard leaned back, tears blurring her vision. She was doing her homework. Why was she doing her homework? Tomorrow in the holy tomb she would plunge Fodlan into a war the likes of which no one had seen in centuries. Homework was the least of her concerns.

She would have to face the professor.

Byleth, the stone faced mercenary who threw herself in front of Edelgard with no hesitation. Byleth, who spent hours carefully guiding her students to their fullest potential. Byleth, who sometimes got pale in battle after a particularly rough fight. Not because she feared her own safety, but because she feared that any of her students had received more than a scratch. Byleth, who patiently let Edelgard explain her nightmares. Byleth, who watched her be crowned Emperor of Adrestia.

The first person in a long time that Edelgard truly cared about.

She had tried so hard to avoid harboring any affection for her professor - for any of the residents at garreg mach. And yet the ashen demon had carved a place into her heart, dragging her students to reside there alongside her. Edelgard felt her throat tighten at the thought of raising her blade at Dorothea- at Ferdinand, at Caspar, at Linhardt, at Bernadetta, at Petra. Over the past few months their antics had grown on her, and now guilt lumped in her throat. She would turn her blades onto them, her kind and slightly stupid classmates. They would follow Byleth, and Byleth would follow the Church.

It made her feel sick.

Long past the point of caring about her homework, Edelgard walked over to her dresser. Flowers- mostly from the professor- were starting to shrivel in their vases. How poetic, she thought that they too shall die the last night I am an ally to those I hold dear. She plucked a flower from the vase- a single rose- and sat on the bed.

There was no point in trying to sleep. Anticipation and anxiety coursed through her. Tomorrow she would have to be a different woman. No longer Edelgard, the imperial princess of Adrestia. No longer Edelgard, the flame emperor, or Edelgard, house leader of the black eagles.

Tomorrow, she would be Edelgard, Emperor of Adrestia, the woman who tore the land from it's fragile peace for the sake of her own ideals.

She pulled her legs up, laying her head on her knees.

There would be no sleep tonight. For Edelgard was 18, and she had a world to change.

Whether it be by herself, or with allies at her back, the Emperor of Adrestia had work to do.

#edelgard #edelgard von hresvelg #fuck it im posting this #fe3h #edelgard fire emblem #fire emblem edelgard #fire emblem 3h #fire emblem three houses #black eagles fe3h #black eagles #please dont judge too hard okay i don't write a lot #i also wrote this when i was doing horrible mentally #being 18 fucked with me so hard i felt like an awful person for exsisting #im doing better now but like. this is not just a character study i was throwing myself onto the page lmao

[avirxy]

beauty and beast au but Claire’s the one cursed because she’s the only one I can see literally pissing a sorceress off enough to get cursed. (If we’re going off the original movie Jim would probably offer them a hot meal and a room for the night, knowing him he’d make everything super accommodating)

#are we seeing the vision or have I lost my mind #Jim would literally drop everything to help this literal hag who waltzed through the door #Claire would..not be doing that #bonus points if the witch is Morgana then they’re throwing hands #I could see her trying to offer a deal like say she’s after Claire’s magic and sevitude or something and when she refuses boom Morgana #curses her and everyone else that’s in the ballroom at the time #And because it’s Morgana she’d probably make the curse super difficult to break #so like by the time she’s 18 if she doesn’t agree to serve Morgana when the last petal on the rose falls she dies with the rose #so Claire’s kinda given up on hope cuz she’d rather die than give Morgana her magic #Barbara’s a traveling doctor so her and Strickler set off to another town for a trip and get caught in the snow storm #and they get locked up for entering the castle and trespassing #Jim goes after them because they don’t come back the day after #instead of Claire keeping them there though I think she’d just give all three the chance to leave with some pressing from her friends #Jim ends up rethinking his decision due to the fact that Toby even as a cursed object can’t for the life of him keep a secret #when he hears the castle is under a curse he’s immediately interested in helping #even if Claire really just wants this nosy human boy and his parents to be on their way #oh shit I think I just wrote another au #trollhunters #tales of arcadia #jim lake jr #claire nuñez #toa #jlaire #this was just chillin in my drafts for awhile

[chestnutisland]

I watched RoF...now you get to angst and suffer with me...>D

#krillin #android 18 #marron #dbz #dbs #seriously tho the moment the earth was blown to smithereens was anguish #and the survivors realising was even worse #especially in the DBS episodes #I think they did it a little better there than the actual movie #there was more emotion #anyway krillin for sure would be so relieved and angsty when seeing his family again #infact he may not let them out of his sight for a while #they all pile into the big bed together that night and sleep closely together #I wrote a TUSOKI chapter on it aswell #but I may rewrite another one we'll see #where I'll use these sketched out scenarios #mine

[sweatermuppet]

i think what has helped keep me motivated + curious abt all matters of the world is to acknowledge when smthng is not for me. it's too broad, advanced, unrelatable, or just unlikable, & instead of being discouraged or frustrated in my inability to understand or enjoy, i say "this not for me, but i can recognize it may be for someone else." OR, & this helps me the most, i say "this is not for me right now. months or years from now, this may suit me better."

#mike unknowingly helped me lasso this mindset when we were talking abt grit #i said oh i don't like grit very much. all the poems are so... not what id write now #& he was like si... you wrote some of those when you were 16 17 18... yr in yr 20s now #of course you'd write them differently! yr life is different! yr different from who you were then #& it just... flipped a switch in me #like okay!! nearly everything has its timely application & the sooner i understand & apply that the easier it will be to both love & hate!

[drumlincountry]

I think the most true thing I can tell u about ur late 20s is:

When I was about 3 years old, I had a babysitter, let's call her Anne. Anne used to say that if she ever had a baby of her own she was going to name her Lily. She was a babysitter because she'd always wanted kids of her own, but she couldn't have them. She turned 30, then 40, & it just never worked out for her.

I stopped going to her when I started school & I heard nothing about her for years. Except one day, my mother excitedly told me that Anne's dream finally came true! My old babysitter had a miracle baby!! The baby everyone thought she'd never have. A little baby girl named Lily, just like she dreamed. 🥰

& so anyway I bumped into Anne last Wednesday in a furniture shop and after confirming that yes this was the woman who took care of me as a toddler, she told me that her miracle baby is now a miracle 20 year old. She's a miracle second year college student!! hoping to one day be a miracle dentist!! Beloved Lily, ever dreamed of, is now another young adult who doesn't visit often enough, you know. but it is 5 hours on the train, so we won't go too hard on her for it.

#i made & deleted about 3 posts about turning 28. idk how i feel about it #a feeling which is enhanced by finding some things i wrote when i was 18 #i haven't changed THAT much. but i have done a lot in 10 years. #haven't RAISED A DENTIST tho #once upon a time you were a baby and some people were very very excited to hear you existed!! #and maybe you live 5 hours by train from those people now. and maybe that'e even the best cast scenario for u #but yeah. wild. #me fein

[arsonist-tittyfuck]

NO CAUSE THEY'RE ALL IN LOVE AND THERE'S NO PROVING ME WRONG

#Shhhh I'm hyperfixing #my favorite trio #t h e m #Hanakounene #I'm rewatching the anime while also rereading the manga #It's how i combat depression #lolol #toilet bound hanako kun #i found this in my drsfts OOPS #i think i wrote nearly 2 years ago #oopsy #my baaaaad #I definitely wrote this and the earlier tags when i was 16 #i am now 17 and less than 5 months away from 18 #yeaaaaaah #okay posting this now since i still love them and was just re-reading stuff on ao3 the other day #im just no longer fixated

[boimgfrog]

ok question come on how does that green anime hair guy (not the one from my hero shsjfhd the other one the buff one) top the pink hair guy that is like a classic contender for the little one tops the pink one is the fandom really so reductive :(

Joe (Green hair) is large and bisexual and cherry (pink hair) is lithe and homosexual and SOMEHOW that's all it takes. it's bullshit tho Joe is so infatuated w cherry and cherry is absolutely a dom and they are both switches. fandom is dumb and silly 2 not understand my beautiful vision.

#mutuwuals #asks #matchablossom #and yea the fandom is EXTREMELY reductive #back when i read fic 4 sk8 i literally couldnt read 4 the main pairing 4 the show (reki n langa) #bcos langa (canonically head empty only simp thoughts) was portrayed as a fucking???? daddy dom???? #as if hes not 18 yrs old and a virgin #it gave me such an ick #the larger sk8 fandom was big on stereotypes #which is why i mainly wrote fic and talked abt it w my friends instead <3

[sysig]

He’s my little meow meow, my darling, my bbygirl (Patreon)

#Doodles #Commander Peepers #I'm soooooo normal about him you guys <3 So normal! <3 <3 #*Looking back over the other Little Guys I've collected* Hmmmmmmm Evil Xisuma and Spamton and Sableye and Rick Diggins #I think there might be a theme here #Just casually making Venn Diagrams in my head - Evil X has the red/black - Spamton is trans - Sableye has Gremlin energy - Rick is too tired #And those are just the ones I can think of lol - if you look I did the same stretchy pose with EX when I was still drawing him lol #The Stretch Pose is how you can tell if I like a character lol - they stretchin'? I am infatuated <3 #I mean I'm normal I'm totally normal lol #Also had to give him a bbygrl pose - I for the life of me cannot find it again but the reference is very strong in my mind's eye! #Not that I couldn't go for another one at some point lol ♪ #Ugh the middle one lol - so that Word of God I mentioned in passing about female Watchdogs #I read it in passing as just a basic research of ''Oh here's what The Original Creator has to say alright neat'' #Except that it Immediately made me itchy and I was like ''What. What brain this is not that big of a deal what are you doing'' #And I was like ''No I'm being silly about this - just because I don't agree doesn't mean it's a big deal lol'' #Except then I had stress dreams and woke up Weird the next day and the last time that happened I left a fandom #And the time before that I wrote 4 consecutive pages of 20-something panels in like 18 hours of consciousness - I have normal reactions lol #But I opted instead to vent to smol about it and she agreed with me so basically I'm just saying I'm correct lol /s #Personally Peepers doesn't strike me as misogynistic - he's very much an Equal Opportunity villain in my eyes! #And yeah I considered a lot of different angles around it but like - based on the text of WOY I just don't buy it #If it's not in the show it doesn't count! For all we know there might not even be any female Watchdogs! Lol #Would also lead to the equally-to-Spamton interesting question of How Does Trans Work in that kind of situation #I've definitely not already put a lot of thought into it don't look at me lol #Don't ask me to write an essay about both of those things I'll do it and where will that leave us lol #ANYway lol ♪ He's still the absolute funnest to draw in distress and discomfort <3 And kneeling! He makes me want to practice :D #I always feel like I can try again and do better! >:3c

[leahthedreamer]

Also, some of y’all wish on Ilia to be given outrageous scores so you have a reason to dunk on a teenager and I’m glad they don’t.

A bunch of people want soo badly to have the “he’s only all jumps” angle when almost every interview he does he always says he wants to develop more as a skater. Step off his neck!

#he just got the 4A down and does he need to chill on the others? yeah but he’s like 16 #correction he is 18 (when I first wrote this it was too early for coherent thoughts) but still a teen nonetheless #some of you weren’t around for sQUAD idk #whether he does it or not is up to him but trying to say he doesn’t have a personality is objectively wrong #comparing him to Sasha trusova like don’t piss me off #old ass grown people leave the children aloneeee #figure skating #worlds 2023 #ilia malinin

[trans-tom-gurney]

GUYS I’m alive and I’m in another bully hyperfix hopefully I can . draw something ❤️ . just wanna say though I’m scouring the cutting room floor for bully cuz one of my favourite things abt this game is how much deleted content we have access to and I just wanna say The Townies Were Robbed So Hard it’s unbelievable . look at this unused dialogue for Busting In

ft labels of who I think is talking at different points btw

im dying im weeping why does Omar talk like this WHY DOES HE CALL THE CLIQUE ‘our order’ like a cult…ohhh my gosh . also 4/9 of the townies canonically double up as asylum patients now. they are my everything i wish we talked about them more . Edgar and Omar could’ve been completely wack . insane. crazy . I highly recommend u watch videos about cut content from chapter 5 missions or something it’s stupidly interesting at least to little old me . they get put with the most rushed part of the game and it’s not fair grr …

also it’s so insane how much Edgar misses out on cause stuff with him got cut . visual representation of me finding the 500th instance of Edgar content that went unused . you were gonna meet him earlier😭😭😭 in the game😭😭 there is a whole cutscene with him that got deleted !!cause they changed the story! HEEEELP

#bully cce #bully game #edgar munsen #omar romero #zoe taylor #jimmy hopkins #if I could write well I’d be writing whole novels about the townies you do Not understand lol #I wish more people included Duncan when they drew/wrote about the kissable boys too . please… he has lore!! #also im willing to argue in attack of ‘the Townies are all 18+ grown men’ idea cause I don’t think it’s true . wont do it here though #+they have my favourite vendetta too . it’s a banger

[chuu-huahua]

finally getting around to writing my fem!skk thing (i've been procrastinating this for a while since i also need to start studying) but YAY finally writing this DRUNKEN KISSES situation. tw alcohol ig? modern au btw (so no underage drinking!!)

so basically, they're childhood friends who spend all their time together. since dazai is younger, chuuya starts drinking alcohol before her, and dazai is always whining about how "it's unfair that the chibi gets to drink before me!" and chuuya just smacks her hands away from the beer cans.

so when dazai turns 18, it's a quiet celebration. the two of them are sitting on the floor of dazai's room, and it's dark with the light of the moon flitting in through the curtains. a packet of beer sits next to the two of them, and they're just huddled together under blankets, enjoying each other's warmth.

the grandfather clock downstairs chimes a total of 12 times, and the two of them are silent. after the gongs, chuuya reaches over to grab the packet of beer, easily pulling apart the plastic wrapping. she hands one over to dazai's eager hands before taking one for herself, and the silence between them is broken by the pops of the cans.

dazai gulps down the beer greedily, pulling away and cringing at the bitter aftertaste. chuuya silently laughs at her reaction, sipping her own beer.

they burn through the pack of beer quickly, and the smell of alcohol lingers in dazai's room. the sun slowly peeking over the horizon at this point, and the two of them are slightly drunk and definitely sleep deprived. chuuya crawls over onto dazai's lap, trapping her between her own body and the bed dazai is leaning against. their face inch closer, and their eyes turn half lidded.

their lips press against each other, and dazai can taste the bitterness of the beer still on chuuya's lips. they pull away, smiling at each other as the room is cast with the glow of the morning sun.

"happy birthday, you damn mackerel."

#lei writes! ଘ(|li.‸.) #it's not actually dazai's bday post kind of thing (i wrote on for his bday alr this yr) #but i've been fantasising abt this scenario for so long cuz i want it to happen to me (delulu) #NO PLZ I'M SO GAY FOR THEM AJKSHDAJKDH #no cuz drunken kisses on ur bday after u get tipsy from drinking alcohol??! sign me up #no fr me and who when :( looking for fyodor kinnies out there who would do this w me in like 4 yrs when i actually turn 18 #bungou stray dogs #bsd #soukoku #fem soukoku #skk #fem skk #dazai #chuuya #fem dazai #fem chuuya #tw alcohol

[eastgaysian]

how to eat with no mouth!!! tell me more!

how to eat with no mouth is a kenstewy (! shocking) fic concept that's been bouncing around my head for a bit. at the moment it exists solely in my brain/disorganized notes app rambling, but the idea is a series of vignettes from stewy's pov centering on hunger and desire in his relationship with kendall: stewy thinks of himself as a hedonist that loves to indulge in everything his wealth affords him. before he can know or say that he loves kendall he knows he's hungry for something. so he's continually frustrated by the fact kendall won't let himself or doesn't know how to want things and be hungry.

his attempts to get kendall to want things and indulge in desires ultimately result in like. codependent not-cannibalism more than anything but that's the fun of it. sometimes trying to get your boy best friend to eat is literal when you're 15 and your mom says he's too skinny, it's a shame he didn't eat anything at your house, and sure you don't eat anything at his house but that's because everything there smells like rot. sometimes it means you're in college and you keep sleeping with the girls he says he's kind of interested in and then making out with him when you're both wasted. sometimes it means you enable his addiction even when his kid brother tries to interfere because roman treats starving like a religion, and you can't let kendall get drawn back into that. sometimes it means you're not sure whether you want him to eat or whether you want to eat him

#mingbox #the working title is from a poem i wrote kind-of-for my bf when i was 18. SO. i will probably change it #if i ever finish fksnfidn #babbling

[smoshmonker]

keep your eyes on me

prince ian & knight anthony tears of the kingdom au

words: 1360

based off of this

--

Screaming pain traveled up his arm, snaked in red and black like a grotesque tattoo. He could barely hear over the sound of crumbling rock, and with each moment that passed, the pain grew stronger. Falling to his knees, he gripped his bicep tightly, hoping for any kind of relief.

“Anthony! Are you -?”

The sound of crumbling rock grew louder. A startled yelp followed it, and Anthony turned over his shoulder just in time to see the prince begin falling into the large chasm that had just been created.

Anthony didn’t think. His legs sprung him forward into the chasm after him, his injured arm reaching out toward Ian’s outstretched hand. Just a little closer, and they’d be okay. Just a little closer. As long as they were together, they would be okay. They could do anything.

He missed.

A pained gasp escaped his lungs as Ian fell, further and further into the darkness before being engulfed in a bright, golden light. He disappeared.

That was the last thing he remembered before despair and darkness consumed him.

***

Anthony opened his eyes slowly, realizing he was floating.

Green and blue clouds circled around him like a warm embrace. Chancing a glance downward, he caught sight of a beautiful white dragon, shimmering blue scales adorning the gold spikes along its back. To anyone else, this was the sunlight dragon. To him, though, this was his best friend.

Before he could think about it again, his arm - Rauru’s arm - began glowing, shaking, begging him to move it. Bewildered, he complied, lifting it upward. Wisps of light began pouring downward, landing inconspicuously onto the dragon’s mane. Soon enough, the ghostly forms of Rauru and Sonia placed their hands gently over his own, and the golden wisps became a golden beam of light, engulfing the dragon completely. It soon got too bright for Anthony to look. He squeezed his eyes shut until the white behind them disappeared.

Rauru and Sonia’s hands left his own. He opened his eyes. In place of the dragon floated an unconscious Ian, haloed in a bright light. He wore a white tunic adorned with emerald and rust-colored Zonai runes, a gold stone around his neck. The long hair that usually covered his eyes moved gently with the breeze.

Anthony’s mind raced, but none of his thoughts were coherent - least of all about his arm returning to normal. Glancing over his shoulder, he watched the ghosts take each other’s hands, slowly dissipating into wisps together.

The breeze grew stronger around him as he felt gravity begin to take hold again. His eyes fell closed, feeling himself move backward, floating on air, his unasked questions and thoughts dissipating into wisps too.

His eyes shot open with a loud gasp. He was falling, wind whipping at his bare torso and hair. As he looked around at the sky, bathed in the light of the setting sun, his first and only thought was -

He gasped again. Below him, several feet below, Ian was falling. Anthony took in a shallow breath, not bothering to think again as he dove through the air to catch up. He couldn’t, wouldn’t make the same mistake again. As he reached toward Ian’s hand, an updraft took him upward, keeping them apart.

“Anthony…?!”

Just barely heard above the wind, there was Ian, conscious and absolutely terrified. He immediately slapped his hands over his eyes tightly. Anthony knew he had a fear of heights,  and this was not going to help.

Letting out a frustrated grunt, Anthony began diving again, closer and closer.

“Everything's gonna be okay!” he shouted, though he wasn’t sure if Ian could hear. If he did, he didn’t respond. It made Anthony want to move faster. He needed to close this gap. “Just give me your hand!”

Ian didn’t respond. His chest was heaving, his hands over his eyes so tight that Anthony noticed they were white with the pressure. He was panicking, and Anthony couldn’t blame him.

Now they were only a few feet apart. He tried again. “Ian. Look at me.” He didn’t have to shout to be heard anymore. He kept his voice gentle, and Ian pulled shaky hands away from his eyes after a moment. He looked up, the most scared Anthony had ever seen him, and he knew he had to be strong for the both of them right now. “Give me your hand, man! I got you. I promise.”

Watery blue eyes met determined brown, and Ian reached up after what seemed like barely any thought. Anthony reached down, further and further until they grasped each other’s wrists. Ian’s grip was like iron, but so was Anthony’s. Glancing down, he noticed they were fast approaching land, thankfully above a large body of water.

“Keep your eyes on me, Ian. Don’t look down.”

Ian nodded as Anthony pulled him closer, turning them both so that their heads faced the water.

They looked at each other, a sense of familiarity and comfort between them, taking each other in for the first time in what felt like years. They stared until they couldn’t anymore, interrupted by a loud splash and water traveling up their noses. Anthony didn’t dare let go of Ian’s wrist.

They swam up to the surface at the same time, filling their lungs with fresh air. Once Anthony could see Ian’s head above water, he let go of his wrist, and they both just stayed there, treading water for a moment, perhaps processing the fact that they were alive. 

“C’mon.”

Once they reached land, Ian crawled into the grass and flopped onto his back, his chest still heaving. Water clung to his hair and clothes, making his face shine in the waning sunlight. Anthony slowly walked over, laying down beside him. The breeze ruffled the grass and nearby flowers as Ian spoke.

“...Hey, um. Thanks. For that.”

“You’re welcome. Sorry it took so long.”

Blowing out a quiet breath, Ian looked anywhere other than his companion. “I really thought we were gonna die.”

An awkward silence fell between them. Anthony sighed softly. “I was scared, too. You don’t have to be embarrassed about it, man.”

Ian opened his mouth to respond, possibly to retort, but the words died in his mouth. It had been obvious how scared he was. Deciding to drop the subject, he picked up fistfuls of grass, opening his hand to let them flutter back to the ground. Suddenly, Ian sat up abruptly. “Wait!” There was a wild look in his eyes as he stared at Anthony, who slowly sat up. “You have the sword. So it worked! Then…why…” He glanced down at his hand, his brows furrowing.

“I don’t really get it, either,” he answered, slightly unsure. “But we can thank your ancestors for bringing you back.”

Ian looked up, and they locked eyes again. There were lots of things unanswered, but for now he nodded, laying back in the grass again. Anthony followed suit.

The silence that followed was a little less awkward. Anthony glanced over at him, at his best friend, the friend that he thought he had lost forever, and had to force himself to remember to breathe. Ian glanced over, too, a confused smile pulling at his lips.

“What, dude?”

There were a lot of things he could say. A lot of things he should say; about how much he cared about him, about how terrified and sad he had been knowing what Ian had done, what he’d sacrificed to get the sword restored, about how much Anthony had cried for him. 

Instead, he let himself smile mischievously. “I can’t believe you risked your life. For me. You must really love me.”

An embarrassed blush rose to the prince’s cheeks. “What?! It wasn’t for you, douchebag! It was to save Hyrule!”

“Since when have you cared about Hyrule that much?”

“Since I became the only one left of the royal family. Dick,” he insisted angrily, but his voice wavered slightly and his cheeks were still pink.

Anthony grinned, but decided to give him some grace. “Well, it was pretty cool of you. And dragons are badass. You should have seen what you looked like.”

Seemingly relieved, Ian smiled slightly. “I’ll have to take your word for it. But if you think I was badass, then I must have been. More badass than the Demon King, right?”

“Dude, way more badass.”

Pleased by that answer, Ian’s smile grew and he turned to look up at the sky. Anthony did, too, and for the first time in weeks, he felt at home.

#smosh #ian hecox #anthony padilla #ianthony #totk #totk au #*drops this and runs away* #don't perceive me #I wrote this for myself and one other person #I keep telling myself cringe culture is dead when will I believe it #btw im imagining 18 year old ianthony for this #not written as romantic but perceive it how you want #anyways enjoy this niche thing ok bye #my post

[daydadahlias]

x

#ive been getting back into original writing a lot more recently #as im going to try to start submitting things this year :) and actually try to get published eek #and im reading through the books i wrote when I was 16-18 #and these are like actually crazy