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mystech-master · 3 years

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My FGO Servant ideas/Servants I'd expect

These are some Servant ideas that I have had since I've already asked what you guys want.

I know that the Servant has to be someone that people know for the most part, since almost every Servant is someone that everyone knows with a few exceptions.

Some spoilers for other Fate works bellow

Saber

Yagyu Jubei, the One-Eyed Samurai. I feel like his NP will be some kind of Mystic Eye under his eyepatch or something. But if they want to go super Bullshut, I could imagine him being a Pseudo-Servant of Yvette L Lehrman.

Archer

Tchaikovsky, composer of 1812 Overture. The Orchestral song featuring CANNONS! I have already made a Reddit post about it here. I am trying not to just shove people in Caster

Angelica Ainsworth, holder of the Gilgamesh Class Card in Prisma Illya. I wonder how Archer/Caster Gil would react to her, or even Enkidu. I mean we know Kid Gil isn't fond of her.

Lancer

Arachne, the Spider-Woman Weaver. Her Lance would simply be an enlarged sewing needle. She'd either be a sort of Spider- Centaur, or the Spider-Legs would be coming out of her legs. For some extra shit, she might be merged with the Japanese Spider-Yokai Jorogumo, or just reference it similar to how Galatea referenced the tsukumogami. Also, her being a woman made into a monster by Athena, Medusa might gain a new friend.

Sigma,>! Maiya Hisau's son from Fate/Strange Fake. Apparently the True Lancer of the True and False Holy Grail War!<. I really just want him in to see how he'd interact with the EMIYA family. ~~Someone give Shirou/EMIYA some guy friends!~~ Of course, we'll need to wait a long time for strange fate to finish to get him since the author doesn't like using f/sf characters for anything else atm.

Loki, god of mischief. Maybe being half-Jotunn can be a good enough justification to keep him as himself and not need to be a Pseudo. I like OSP's interpretation of a "genderfluid benevolent but mischievous Hearth Spirit who protects the home and family". Genderfluid would open up for one of Fate's many genderbends they love doing, but if they kept him male and make his character about all the kids he has, then imagine...Loki, who is a god of mischief and a dad.........Loki making dad jokes. Although I feel like they might go with the female Loki one since Fate loves Genderbends and IDk if Japan has an equivalent to dad jokes. The reason he'd be a Lancer is the spear of Mistletoe he gave to Höðr which then resulted in Baldr's death which is treated as the precursor to Ragnarok.

Rider

Jiraiya, the Gallant Ninja. It was either this, with him riding his summonable Toad (I mostly think of this video), Assassin b/c Ninja, Caster b/c of reasons covered in the video linked before and some similar videos by the same guy, and Saber with the Nakirimaru, or "wave cutting sword," used to exorcise the Snake Spirit from Orochimaru. I went with Rider so the Rock-Paper-Scissors match of Frog-Slug-Snake matches the classes of Jiraiya, Tsunade, and Orochimaru respectively.

Caster

Tsunade, the Slug Maiden. The reason is mentioned above in Jiraiya's segment.

TOHSAKA, Rin as a Counter Guardian. The closest we'll get to actual Rin on her own with no other god(dess) inhabiting her body as a servant. NP would be the Jeweled Sword Zelretch. Also, imagine Ishtar seeing the older Rin (her vessel)'s more developed body and getting pissed.

Orpheus, the musical son of Apollo. Considering one big part of his story was being so bummed about his wife dying that his music just depressed everyone, even the gods, with his bad vibes, I could imagine them making him into sort of an emo guitar player or some shit. But if that is too lame then giving his Lyre some Siren Song-esque powers might be something since during his adventures with the Argonauts, since when the sirens began to sing he "played music that was louder and more beautiful, drowning out the Sirens' bewitching songs."

Assassin

Not too sure on the spirit, hopefully a Death God, but I want a Pseudo-Servant of Kairi Sisigou. I mean a Necromancer Mercenary, TELL ME that doesn't fit. Also the possible fun interactions he can have with Mordred again, and her family and new friends.

I mentioned above, Orochimaru, with him being a Pseudo-Servant in Souichirou Kuzuki. I just needed a snake-themed servant to put him in because I know everyone wants him as a pesudo so Medea can have her husband.

Berserker

Kriemhild, wife of Siegfried. Either this or Avenger. Berserker would be the most fitting for my idea, but Avenger would also fit and most likely have cooler animations I bet. As the wiki says about her personality: "Kriemhild held a "deep‐rooted and blind love" for Siegfried, such that it's described as "passionate love that repays the murder of one’s loved one with twice the payback." Siegfried's death, rather than assuage the feud with Brunhild, caused Kriemhild to "burn with the flames of revenge."' NP being a more demonic/dark version of Balmung. I wanted her to be a sort of obsessive wife and mother to Siegfried and Sieg (I like to imagine them having a mentor-student to father-son dynamic), the family dynamics between the three would be fun to imagine.

Lycaon, the wolf king. He once tested Zeus' omniscience by serving him the roasted flesh of Lycaon's own son Nyctimus, in order to see whether Zeus was truly all-knowing. In return for these gruesome deeds, Zeus transformed Lycaon into a wolf. He'd be a pseudo for Svin Glascheit. I just needed a wolf spirit to put Svin in. I mean everyone already is imagining Berserker-Jack the Ripper using Flat as a vessel.

Magni, son of Thor. Do I even need to explain who I am using as a vessel for this Spirit?

Avenger

Pandora, the all-endowed first woman. At first, I was unsure about her class. Yes, the whole thing of Pandora's Box was made as a punishment for Prometheus stealing fire (I wonder how Fate would interpret this with the whole Age of Gods vs Age of Man thing), but as the wiki says "She was given knowledge by the gods that she had to wait until humanity perished so that she can finally open the box and release the world's true potential. Because of her immortality, Pandora suffered greatly as people unreasonably tried to kill the undying mud doll whenever they discovered she wasn't human. After so many years of suffering, Pandora began questioning on why she had to go through this for humans."

Captain Ahab, Captain of the Pequod. >!Implied to be one of Watcher's Shadows in fate/strange fake, so the reason he'd be unavailable is stated above!<. His NP would be his prosthetic leg made out of whalebone, which may give him some aquatic abilities. Or it might be the harpoon that he got tangled in which resulted in his death.

MoonCancer

Tsukuyomi, the Shinto Moon God. Using Hakuno Kishinami as a vessel. I mean combining the Admin authority from the EXTELLA's Regalia which grants him kingship of the Moon Cell with Tsukuyomi's moon god authority would be pretty cool. I know a lot of people want a Dioscuri situation where we get both male and female Hakunos but I feel like it'd be one or the other. Of course, this is only if Hakuno NEEDS a god in him. I partially Headcanon that the reason BB made Jinako a MoonCancer was as a test run for when she does it to Hakuno.

Alter Ego

Ergo, The Man Who Devoured God. From The Adventures of Lord El-Melloi. " Because of the method of creation he has several gods within him after devouring their flesh. All three gods within him, one of which is Sun Wukong, have the shared themes of "water gods" and "hands"." Having 3 gods fits man other Alter Egos haveing 3 gods in them (Sakura Five, Ashiya Douman, and Sitonai).

>!U-Olga Marie, the Alien God. The Best chance we get of having Olga back. Similar reason for being summoned as Kiara.!<

Lemme know what you guys think of my ideas and if you'd add anything to them.

#fate #fate series #fate grand order #fgo

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mellicose · 4 years

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Doctor ... WTF?

An impassioned rant about the steady decline of Doctor Who, the trajectory of the Thirteenth Doctor, and the righteous indignation after The Timeless Children, not only as a Whovian, but as a woman-

I love how certain people are spinning The Timeless Children as being good, yet the BBC has released (2)TWO statements basically telling fans the following:

“Doctor Who is a beloved long-running series and we understand that some people will feel attached to a particular idea they have of the Doctor, or that they enjoy certain aspects of the programme more than others. Opinions are strong and this is indicative of the imaginative hold that Doctor Who has – that so many people engage with it on so many different levels.

We wholeheartedly support the creative freedom of the writers and we feel that creating an origin story is a staple of science fiction writing. What was written does not alter the flow of stories from William Hartnell’s brilliant Doctor onwards – it just adds new layers and possibilities to this ongoing saga.”

Creative freedom, huh? Ask Joe Hill about it. Or Gaiman. The writers, including Chibnall, are only free to do what the Beeb and the other show investors tell them.

They go on:

“We have also received many positive reactions to the episode’s cliff-hanger. There are still a lot of questions to be answered, and we hope that you will come back to join us and see what happens, but we appreciate that it’s impossible to please all of our viewers all of the time and your feedback has been raised with the programme’s Executive Producer."

Uglylaughing.gif

There is a huge, monumental difference between 'not being able to please everyone all at the same time' and basically making a whole fandom, New and Classic, young and old, come together with the same level of disgust and disappointment.

I also find the people arguing "Canon? What canon?" about the Doctor now being the Lord and Savior of the Shining World of the Seven Systems to be foolish at best, and disingenuous at worst.

No canon?? So what have I been steeping myself in for years - a vague approximation of a tale? Please. Of course, writers have embellished and alluded, but tampering with the unspoken but well-known 'no touch' rule about the Doctor's origin is ... well, it's canon, in and of itself...

...which Chibnall completely wrecked, and I can't imagine why. Hubris? By all accounts, he was a fan. I thought Moffat was a dick for bringing back Gallifrey, but now, to me, my disappointment then vs now is like comparing a fart to a shitstorm.

Please excuse the scatological references, but I'm using it deliberately. It is a swirling turd, which I and many others wish we could flush down and forget forever.

In another RadioTimes article - which basically is the BBC - amongst the usual apologetics, Huw Fullerton drops this little gem:

“The glory days of David Tennant et al were in a different TV landscape, and if the Tenth Doctor touched down now it seems unlikely he’d command anything close to the ratings he did over a decade ago.”

Yeah, you can all take a break to have a hearty laugh. Or throw up. Whichever. Did they just hint that, basically, the incarnation of the Doctor who continues to get as much love (if not more) than Four, who still consistently gets thousands of butts in seats in conventions worldwide, and has made the BBC hundreds of thousands of pounds sterling in merchandising “wouldn’t command the ratings he did in 2008?”

As Gary Buechler of Nerdrotic said in his response to this article: “Actually, if David Tennant had been given as many chances as Jodie Whittaker, it would’ve had Game of Thrones-level ratings.”

And I agree. Not because I’m a Tenth Doctor stan, but because it’s just ... categorically true. His seasons consistently got average rating of 7.5 to 8 million viewers - and this in a time before BBCiPlayer, so 7-day catch up ratings meant nothing. It was butts on sofas then, which, to me, speaks of a massive, sustained interest.

But Huw goes on to say that such things mean nothing. And that the huge, telling sink in both overnight and 7-day ratings between the 11th and 12th seasons, and the dismal 4.69m 7 day ratings for The Timeless Children - the lowest for a NewWho finale since its reboot - shouldn’t be taken as a loss of interest from the fandom.

Then, pray tell goodman, what does it mean? Does it mean that fans are following the Thirteenth Doctor’s adventures in spirit? Ratings are tanking. Outside of the precious few who blindly tweet and write articles about the show solely based on its now female protagonist, people are notoriously furious, especially after the execrable season finale.

Yet BBC’s Piers Wenger, who once produced the show, says “I don’t think it’s been in better health, editorially. I think it’s fantastic and I think that, the production values obviously have never been better.”

Right. Okay. So, putting Tom Ford makeup on a pig makes it haute couture, huh? The writing is appalling, and after two excruciatingly painful to watch seasons, the Doctor has failed to appear - all I’ve seen is borderline sociopathic navel gazing from an ‘alien’ wearing a pastel duster.

How dare you besmirch the unfailingly cool reputation of the long coat, Chibnall? Jodie? How??

I will not let someone piss on my head and call it rain ... ‘because it’s a woman.’ Assuming I’ll accept it just adds insult to injury. Who do they think we are, as female fans? I will not cosign garbage to further an agenda that is ultimately damaging one of my favorite things ever, Doctor Who. I agree that politics, and a positive moral, have always been a part of DW, but at it’s best the writing was so good that it only added to the entertainment. Now, the BBC is feeding us all the bitter pill, without the kindness to hide it in a piece of tasty cheese. It gives the impression that they believe we are already so indoctrinated that we no longer need artifice!

Well, not only am I not indoctrinated, but I refuse to ingest.

I refuse to allow people to silence me because the Doctor is now a woman, and so am I. That, I shouldn’t say anything, or complain, because it’s an act of rebellion on womankind, not only in entertainment, but in general. Well, to that I say ... er ... I disavow.

Disavow. Disavow.

And this from a woman who once criticized Peter Davison for saying that casting a woman was “a vital loss of a role model for boys,” taking it as a sexist comment when in truth, it was just a relevant narrative concern about gender-swapping the traditionally male-presenting Time Lord. Just changing a character from male to female doesn’t do anything but demonstrate a tone-deafness about the emotional and physical differences between men and women, which exist whether we want to address them or not. This is why genderswap reboots are terrible. They are trying to further the feminist agenda, while surreptitiously painting traditional, every day femininity as weakness, and something to be avoided at all costs. I reject the modern Hollywood representation of what a ‘strong woman’ is meant to be. I can be clever, yet sensitive enough to comfort a friend when they confide their fears about a cancer relapse. I can be funny, and not at the expense of the man in the room. I can be brave, but not at the expense of my friends. The mind boggles as to why they thought their current tack with the Doctor was going to be any good. The Doctor is a woman, but more importantly, she’s a Timelord. Where are they? Is the alien that we’ve known and loved for the last 60 years truly gone away, and Thirteen is from a whole different timeline? If so, I don’t want to know her.

And it breaks my heart.

Why continue to support a corporation who thinks of me, the fan, as no more than a heartless, thoughtless consumer? A drone? A sheep who has no conscious idea of what I like or need?

I’m done. It’s been two seasons of absolute dreck, with absolutely no sign of a course-correction due to the overwhelmingly negative response. I may be many things, but I’m no masochist - even in the name of love. And Chibnall, knowing that many fans would go back to the classic stories to cleanse ourselves, went back to the beginning and took a giant shit there too.

Oh, the cleverness! the absolute schadenfreude of not only tampering, but rewriting the Doctor’s origins! I suppose that tells me he truly was once a fan. But no longer. Even if it turns out that the Master is as full of crap as Chibnall and it’s all an orchestrated lie, I don’t care anymore. Every inexplicable, terrible thing that happened before has already exhausted my patience with the narrative.

As veteral DW writer and script editor Terrance Dicks said:

If you’re concentrating on putting forth a political message, rather than on doing a really good show, I think there is a danger, maybe, you can do both but it would be hellish difficult, and I think that there’s maybe a danger that the show wouldn’t as be as good as it could or should be, because you’re not looking at the right aims.”

It seems like all that has been lost in time. Big corporations are buying up beloved science fiction properties, and systematically destroying them by trying to mix their politics into the mythos. [see ‘the fandom menace’]

I say, don’t support things that make you unhappy, in the name of nostalgia. That’s how they continue to upset us, while lining their pockets with our hard earned money. Complaining amongst ourselves, writing emails, or making angry Youtube videos no longer works anyway. Now is the time to just ... let it go. No more special edition DVDs, novelizations, or pretty action figures. Hit them in the pocketbook. We will still have fond memories of better times. I will not let them hijack, retcon, and retool them too.

There is a telling paragraph hidden in the depths of the article, which makes my DW fangirl sink:

It’s not as simple as “the ratings are down so Doctor Who will be cancelled,” as for the publicly-funded BBC there’s an interesting question about exactly what ratings are for beyond bragging rights. Obviously they need to make TV that people want to watch – but which people?

Not us, Huw. That’s who.

#dw #doctor who #doctor who season 12 #doctor who season finale #tenth doctor #dw negativity #the timeless children #or as I call it:#the timeless sham #issa no from me dawg #that little comment about dt really made me snort #i really hope he heard about it and had a long knee-slapping laugh #oh dear #the bbc really are deluded #they are truly drinking a koolaid whose potency boggles the mind #like can they see how off the mark they are?#do they have friends?

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obscureobsidianreblogs · 4 years

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X-Men Characters Ranking (I) The Worst

These characters aren’t what I would call the worst in the sense that I hate them and I don’t want to see them ever again, because I don’t dislike them as much as I hate how writers have treated them, many of them being basically anything other than plot devices and never having a chance to become better characters. I don’t think there’s no hope for them, only that I haven’t seen them getting chances to prove me there is.

Thunderbird/John Proudstar

This character is a joke in the worst sense of the word, basically being known as “Guy who died and unlike the rest didn’t come back”. It has reached a point Joanthan Hickman needed to create an explanation in-universe to why the hell this is the case!!! The fact all of this happens to the first native american member of the team is unfortunate. Thank God John’s own brother James, Forge and especially Danielle Moonstar came soon after to fix that.

Slipstream/Davis Cameron

I don’t want to sound mean, I really don’t want to, but I really, really, really don’t care about this character. How’s possible for a legend like Chris Claremont, who created so many memorable characters, create one so devoid of any interesting quality? If you want a X-Men male character who’s a surfer, just go with Havok in X-Men Evolution. Her sister Heather is a slightly better case, mostly thanks to the revelation that she’s actually part of Shi’ar royalty and we see her dealing with her body changing while she discovers her inheritance.

Joseph

Initially introduced as a possibly rejuvenated Magneto who decided to undo Magneto’s wrongdoings, what could have been the perfect opportunity to develop the character of Magneto was quickly wasted when writers at the time thought It would be more interesting to make him the third party in a love triangle involving Rogue and Remy. The revelation he was actually just Magneto’s clon and his death proved how much they regretted creating him.

Feral/Maria Callasantos

Maria’s backstory on paper could be a perfect way to create a compelling character: abused since her childhood, and killed her stepfather to protect her sister. Unfortunately Feral was created by Fabian Nicieza and Rob Liefeld, who were more interested in action and fights than in writing compelling characters, and in Maria’s case it really shows. Her perpetual hostility towards her teammates quickly made her unlikeable, and soon after she was written out of the team. But while characters like Shatterstar have become fan favorites thanks to the works of writers like Peter David Feral has remained a character no writer has bothered to do anything with her, except depower her after the House of M event to later made Sabretooth kill her.

Maggott/Japheth

None of the characters that joined the X-Men after the events in Operation Zero Tolerance became universal fan-favorites, but while Marrow and Cecilia Reyes have managed to still pop-up here and there occasionally, Maggott quickly became the fandom’s punching bag, being an usual entry in the “worst mutants/powers” lists and soon after his debut became killed. In a concentration camp, just so his death could be anymore fucked-up. Yikes.

Omega Sentinel/Karima Shapandar

The idea of a biosentinel who still retains her humanity and which she uses to fight against her programming to team-up with mutants and become their friend instead of hunting them down is pretty compelling. Despite that Karima has become a punchline for her tendency to be a character who tends to get possessed or brainwashed too much in a franchise and a genre where character being possessed or brainwashed has become commonplace. It seemed like that cycle was finally going to finish after Brian Wood decided to published an all female team on his X-Men run and decided to make Karima turned back into a human but stay with her mutant friends, but all of that got thrown away when Jonathan Hickman took over, make her a biosentinel again and because he really wants to push the narrative of us vs them he made her team-up with the evil human organization who wants to wipe out mutants, because he says so. Thanks Johnny.

Lifeguard/Heather Cameron

Like I already said above Heather is a slightly more interesting character than her brother Davis, especially after the reveal of her Shi’ar ancestry and her transformation to a much more alien appearance. Although I must admit I initially dislike the character for completely petty reasons. More specifically, the fact she was introduced and paired up with Neal Shaara when Psylocke’s death was still recent, because Neal was sentimentally involved with her at the time. Shipping tends to do those things.

Stacy X/Miranda Leevald

The accusation of female characters being created just to eye-candy is one that I think gets thrown around in excess lately, but in the case of Stacy X it’s pretty much the perfect textbook example. She’s introduced as a prostitute, wears revealing clothing, her powers cause orgasms, flirts with a lot of her male teammates, and let’s not forget that infamous time Chuck Austen thought it would be a good idea to write her saying she was going to watch porn after getting in an argument. Classy. The worst part is that her example was so obvious that she never became really popular among fans, and the writers quickly got rid of her in the most unceremonious way possible, depowering her in the aftermath of House of M, without bothering to even give her the opportunity to be a better character. However, I think there’s still hope for her. In the recent Domino Annual Gail Simone gave her a heartbreaking moment in which Miranda had the opportunity to express how she dealt with her power’s loss and how it affected her.

Sunfire/Shiro Yoshida

I really want to like Shiro, I really do, the issue where he was introduced is still one of my favorites from the Neal Adams and Roy Thomas run. But it’s so obvious writers don’t know what else to do with him except remind people that he doesn’t like teamwork over and over again, feeling like an excuse to include him as little as possible. Also this is a much more shallow reason to dislike him, but I really think he needs an urgent redesign to get rid of that horrible mask.

Thunderbird/Neal Shaara

His backstory, about discovering a new secret biosentinel program that took advantage of India’s most disadvantaged population while looking for his missing brother, is actually one of my favorites on any X-Men character, being emotionally compelling with some social critic sprinkled over it. Unfortunately once he joined the team the most he did was get romantically involved with female teammates, first with Psylocke, a reason I’m sure a lot of fans at the time hated him because she was with Archangel, although tbh it never bothered me that much, and then with Lifeguard. The fact that after Karima Shapandar, the character that got turned into a biosentinel while helping him look for his brother, joined the X-Men no one single writer bothered to make him meet her again despite it was confirmed he retained his powers after House of M shows how little interest writers were in him. Ouch.

Revanche/Kwannon

Although it seems like now with Fallen Angels and Hellions they are trying to make her a much more interesting character, there’s still the fact the character was created an introduced just to have a revealing twist about Psylocke’s body swap, and after the writers realised they didn’t know what to do with her and neither they wanted to fix that, they took the easy way and got rid of her making her contract the Legacy Virus so she could die and they could keep Psylocke being a sexy purple-haired ninja.

Vulcan/Gabriel Summers

I don’t think X-Men: Deadly Genesis is the unholy abomination many fans think it is, but even I admit they make Gabriel a character really hard to like. To begin with he’s supposed to be the third Summers brother, a mystery in the franchise that was introduced back in the 90s but that never got a satisfactory resolution, only a bunch of clues that lead nowhere and red herrings, in the main timeline at least, Claremont wrote in X-Men: The End the twist the third Summers brother was Remy all along. Anyways, so Gabriel is not only supposed to be the answer to a question fans didn’t care anymore at the time, but he was also part of a retcon, one related to a part as iconic to the X-Men cannon as it is the Giant Size X-Men published in 1975 and whose main point in the story was to show a dark secret Xavier hided to the rest of the X-Men (Still handled better than the bs Bendis wrote during the Original Sin event). But Gabriel, instead of first acting as confused as the rest of the X-Men team after they discover his existence, to later discover the truth of what happened, with him too enraged to listen to reasons and start to attack everyone wether what happened to him was their fault or not, Remender wrote Gabriel as a douchebag from the beginning, kidnapping Scott and Rachel and just being plain awful, especially to the one who was actually his niece. And then there’s the whole becoming the new Shi’ar emperor storyline that I couldn’t care less… Let’s see what Hickman does with him, although my hopes are not exactly high.

#x-men #x-men comics #marvel #marvel comics #x-men characters #mutants

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littlemulattokitten · 5 years

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Dating App Conundrums

Alright so I’ve been planning to do this for a while, and may make a thing out of it just to chronicle the adventure from single to hopefully not, but who knows.

Basically I decided to research a few dating apps and try them out, since I’m the type of person who’s content to stay home, but also only likes going out with a friend or small group (not alone) - therefore my chances of meeting people are probably in the negatives without dating services like the ones I’m currently on.

This post will probably end up being both a review of some of these apps as well as a master shitpost detailing the adventures of a straight female attempting to find a straight male to date online. And I know Tumblr well enough that at least half the people who read this will have yet another reason to be proud of their not straight orientation. Because good fucking lord the nonsense I’ve seen.

Storytime begins below the cut. This isn’t going to be short. That’s your warning. It will probably be funny at some points though. It’s funny to live it, at least. And I may break it into parts, Idk yet.

Let’s get a few things out of the way first.

Until this experiment, I’d never used dating apps ever. I knew of them. Hated them on principle (dislike them even more now, but we’ll get into that later) and wanted nothing to do with them. I knew a few people who were happily married to a Match.com or OKCupid match but aside from that – I’d never even downloaded Tinder like everyone else I knew in HS and college.

I haven’t actually dated anyone since my first semester of college. On purpose. I broke off my engagement to my elementary school sweetheart (thankfully we are still good friends and our friendship recovered from that near disaster) and I just wanted to focus on myself for a while.

The small handful of relationships I have had that lasted longer than 6 months taught me a lot about what I want in my ideal mate. The one or two less-than-6-months-barely-relationships I had in high school taught me A LOT about what I will never put up with from people.

My “type” isn’t reflective of my dating history. I’ve gotten to the point with these apps where I’m combining their shallow-indorsing metrics with my own personal preferences. Basically going through an aesthetic checklist then scanning through their profile to see if the actual person is equally pretty.

Spoiler, I have to swipe left A LOT.

I’m a very particular person. I’m very introverted and I hate when someone makes conversation harder than it has to be. I can hold a conversation. I just refuse to be the only one putting effort into it. (This makes more sense later)

I’m beyond fed up with dating app culture but my perfect or close enough to perfect guy has gotta exist so most of my accounts will remain I fucking guess.

I’m not necessarily looking for Mr. Forever. I’ll gladly keep him if I find him, but I’m also not looking for a relationship that I know will be temporary. I don’t do things by halves. I want something solid, whether it lasts forever or not depends on a lot of things.

I CAN’T EMOTIONALLY MULTITASK. I can really only give one person my full interest and attention at a time, which doesn’t bode well for these apps bc you gotta be able to bounce form one to the next no matter how excited you were about someone. These apps fucking suck.

Okay. Now let’s begin properly.

I started with Bumble. Yes. I know. Introverted female starting on a dating app that requires her to make the first move. That can’t go badly right.

I damn near have a panic attack every time I get a match I stg. Anyway.

I was skeptical at first. I’m not huge on people knowing a lot about me from the outset (or I wasn’t - i give so much less of a fuck now bc it makes almost no difference on these things) so my profile was pretty threadbare and cold. Now, a few weeks later, my profile is an efficient snapshot with a splash of Slytherin “Don’t fucking test me.”

Did I mention I’m an INTJ Scorpio? Yeah my entire approach is gonna scream that and my Hogwarts house, just you wait.

Round 1 ~ Bumble 🐝🍯

Okay so Bumble is interesting. For those who don’t know, it’s basically Beehive-Themed Tinder except for heterosexual couples, the lady has to initiate conversation. (Either party in a same sex match can message first) She has 24 hours from the point where her and a fella have “matched” to do so, then he has 24 hours to respond and seal the match – ending the time limits.

Bumble also gives you a rough estimate of how far away someone is sometimes. I’ve read articles about how bumble’s location estimate feature has ruined relationships forged through bumble and generally turned women into paranoid psychos over matches. Can. Fucking. Confirm. It’s the most annoying thing ever. Why?

Android vs Apple. That’s literally why.

The way Bumble’s location service is supposed to work is that everytime you open the app, it updates your location based on your phone or computer’s location. As far as I can tell, that’s exactly how it works on my android phone.

Apple users. Y’all are a problem. Not because I give a shit about your iPhone, I don’t give a shit do you ffs, but IOS location permissions can allow apps to update your location without the app being open.

Reread that for me.

Without. The app. Being. Open.

Which basically means if you match checks your profile, they can tell whether you’re where you were when they swiped right (say, 26 miles away) versus, oh idfk, a whole state or two away.

Real specific example I know. Why? Because I ended up unmatching a guy I REALLY wanted to get to know better because of it.

Though, to be fair, guys are really lax about how they behave on these apps in my opinion, which is a bigger problem than the stupid IOS setting.

Allow me to explain.

Dating App Etiquette

It barely exists, but it should. Here’s the thing. On these apps, you basically swipe right on a pretty face and left on one you’re not interested in waking up to in the morning or sitting on. I’m only being half funny here. I’m convinced people use dating apps more for hookups than their intended purpose. Which, whatever, but for fuck’s sake make BumbleHookup. There’s BumbleDating, DumbleFriends, and BumbleNetwork or whatever. Just make BumbleDTF so we can filter these people out already.

BACK TO THE SINFULLY ATTRACTIVE AND INTERESTING DUDE I UNMATCHED

I’m still kinda peeved about this. In part at myself, but also just in general.

Most people seem to treat Bumble like Tinder. They don’t fill out their profile hardly at all. Have less than 3 pictures, have pictures that make it unclear who’s profile it is, or – my least favorite thing that is almost 100% regional – THEY REALLY FUCKING THINK A PICTURE OF THEM IN SUNGLASSES HOLDING A FUCKING FISH THEY JUST CAUGHT IS ATTRACTIVE. IT IS NOT. THAT’S NOT WHAT THE PICTURES ARE FOR. JUST SAY YOU LIKE TO FISH IN YOUR FUCKING PROFILE BECAUSE IF I HAVE TO LOOK AT ONE MORE MOTHER FUCKING FISH-

I’ve seen a lot of fish in the last few weeks. Like. So many that I’m basically auto swiping left if someone’s profile has less than 4 pictures and one or more contains a stupid fucking fish.

LOOK AT MY FUCKING USERNAME. LITTLEMULATTOKITTEN. IF A SELF-IDENTIFYING CAT TRAPPED IN A HUMANS BODY SAYS THERE’S TOO MANY FUCKING FISH – THERE ARE TOO MANY MOTHER FUCKING FISH.

I can guarantee this won’t be my last fish rant. You don’t understand how many fucking fish I’ve seen.

BUT THIS GUY DIDN’T HAVE ANY FISH IN HIS PROFILE.

So he already had my fucking attention. He was also startlingly handsome – not in a oh you exist off puss and nothing else there’s no other way someone as pretty as you with a penis could exist – but like “Oh. I’d…really like to look at that forever and sit on it if you’ll let me please.”

NOT ONLY DID I FIND HIM THAT ATTRACTIVE BUT HE SWIPED RIGHT ON ME TOO AND READ ENOUGH OF MY PROFILE TO ASK ME A QUESTION FROM THE LOWER HALF OF IT.

I was freaking the fuck out excited.

And frankly the odds of him seeing this are so fucking low that I’ll go ahead and tell you some specifics about the short convo we had, but nothing that could lead anyone back to him obviously.

He’d lived in my home state. First thing he asked was which city I was from. Then he guessed, claiming that guess was based off a beanie I was wearing in my second to last (I think) image available on my profile.

He’d lived in my home CITY. Which means he was familiar with the CULTURE. And would probably GET ME MORE THAN MOST GUYS IN MY AREA.

He worked in an industry/field I knew about and had almost gone into myself.

He was so fucking attractive. I have yet to come across someone who checked ever preliminary shallow box on my want list.

Biceps. Listen. We’re all a little shallow. Biceps do to me what ass and tiddy do to some guys. It’s one of the few really fucking strong visual things I have, followed by dark hair and blue eyes. But he was something of a gym rat, for sure, and I’d gladly torture myself at the gym if that man was going to be in my line of sight at all during the process.

Seriously. I’ve never seen someone who didn’t look like they had to be famous or an alien that made me go “He’s so pretty I want to cry.” EVER. I WANT TO CRY THINKING ABOUT IT BECAUSE WE’RE NOT MATCHED ANYMORE.

And last but not least – like almost every fucking match I’ve ever made, I could count his replies on one hand before he went radio silent.

So, how does this relate to that location issue, you may ask.

Because I didn’t fucking know that Bumble could update your location on some devices without you opening the app.

There’s no online/activity indicator for Bumble except their location updating. Which, when you’re really excited to get to know someone and they suddenly vanish, but they’re more likely than not still online, you might start to feel like you’ve been put on hold.

Life stuff, yes, makes sense, I get it. But these apps have push notifications (which can be buggy) and if you’ve matched with someone, odds are you’re interested enough to check back on occasion (unless you aren’t). So it quickly became a worry game.

Because, like I said, I can’t just say “I’m excited about you, but I’ll keep browsing”. I don’t work that way. Unless I’m not excited about someone, then yeah I’ll keep scatter-shotting. But if I’m not excited to get to know someone why the fuck would I swipe right.

Anyway. After a few days of silence, I was disappointed and getting bitter and the few proverbial bones I’d thrown him had gone unanswered. I knew I was overthinking it and letting my own insecurities get to me a bit, but at the end of the day, there’s a few general courtesies that should exist in online dating culture that don’t.

Why people are afraid or hesitant to say they’re too busy to respond much in their profiles is beyond me. Some guys have the right idea announcing that they’re bad at checking the app and offering their snapchat or telling matches to ask for it.

But even if you’re testing the waters with another match, we’re all on this app for the same fucking reason. Say so. I’m not the kind of person who will need to, because I don’t operate that way on these apps, but I would. Because if that person is really bothered by you finding out if you’re more compatible with someone you matched with prior to them, that tells you something about them.

Would I have been disappointed if that had been the case with this guy? Yeah, kinda. I probably would have felt like his second choice at best, even if he’d come back to chatting with me. But that’s how these fucking apps are designed. Buckle up or unmatch. Fuck your emotions and self-esteem.

I unmatched for my sanity, because that happened a few days into this whole experiment and I wasn’t on any other sites yet. I wasn’t really prepared to deal with this whole thing yet and I didn’t know what to expect. I felt like shit and decided that if he showed up in my feed again, maybe I’d super swipe him (paid extra special right swipe that tells them you REALLY like their face and whatever) but I still don’t know what I’ll do if he does.

Lowkey hoping it was all a misunderstanding and whatever but like, not at all holding out for that because what are the fucking odds.

And again, my disappointment stems mostly from the fact that I was really excited to get to know him. The idea of finding someone on this stupid app in less than a week who wasn’t forcing his fish pictures in my face, would absolutely be the type of person to encourage my own wellness goals, and who was obviously smart because of his career path, was such an exciting thought. If we’d hit it off and gotten along really well, I’d have been so many levels of shocked and overwhelmingly happy that I just don’t know what I’d do.

When someone who looks like they’re 100% your type actually reads your profile and swipes right – you get excited. I was really excited. I’m still a little sad/disappointed, but I’m basically over it.

Other Misc. Things I’ve Learned On Bumble and other Dating Apps As a Relationship Seeking User

Take every profile with a grain of salt unless it’s so blatantly straightforward. And then still toss a pinch in.

The pretty pretty pretty buff boys who look like their players but their profiles claim they want a relationship? Odds are still players. They will try to convince you there’s 10 inches in their pants. They clearly aren’t smart enough to know that’s biologically uncomfortable for females and the best way to end up in the emergency room with a ruined cervix so don’t even swipe right. They’ll just ask for nudes.

People who use dating sites have some odd, hive mind fixation with The Office.

“Jim looking for his Pam” is in most profiles. I’m not sure why. References to The Office or mentions of The Office are about as common as all the stupid fucking fish.

I live in the wrong part of the country to find guys I’m actually going to share interests with. Just wait until I tell you about my experience so far on OK Cupid. I literally won’t find anyone where I live unless they’re from somewhere culturally similar to where I was born and are willing to move back with me. Because I am not fucking staying in the land of the god damn fish forever.

Most people don’t look at religion and politics like I do. Which is “You do you, I’ll do me, we won’t talk about it and we can peacefully do each other.” I don’t fucking care if your politics contradict mine if that’s the only thing we have not in common. Just make it a blacklisted subject and don’t let one frankly insignificant difference of opinion ruin an entire relationship or potential relationship. And same with religion. I’m not even a little religious. I don’t care if my future husband is unless it’s in my face constantly, he tries to “convert me”, get me to go to church with him, or some other blatant disrespect of my own religious standing. You worship whatever you want. I’ll right fanfiction about magic demon princes fucking their human-born demon queen every which way to Sunday. If religion is that big of a fucking deal for you, be upfront about it. Most people are in their bios. Either way, I’m really fucking sick of people who put too much weight into these two things like they actually decide how compatible you are with someone unless you let them.

I fucking hate fish.

Dating apps need more filters and ways to narrow down searches. 90% of the filters already present are shallow as all hell. What’s a few more.

Primarily let me filter out a few NAMES. This sounds super picky, but I have a really big family. 7 uncles. Over 20 cousins including the few cousins of mine who have kids. There’s a few names that would just be weird and awkward for me to associate with a significant other. If I could filter out my stepdad’s first name (which is disgustingly common but still), my biological father’s name, and a few of my uncle’s names, that’d be fucking swell. You already let me filter by religion and race. Let me filter out some fucking names damnit.

And there have to be people who have traumatic associations with names too like?????

The Office is a funny, good show and all but WHY IS EVERYONE ON THESE APPS FUCKING OBSESSED WITH IT THE WAY I’M OBSESSED WITH HARRY POTTER. I’VE SEEN IT. IT’S NOT **THAT** FUCKING FUNNY. SOMEONE EXPLAIN.

YOU HOLDING A DEAD FISH ISN’T FUCKING ATTRACTIVE SIR. THIS ISN’T THE SHAPE OF WATER. SHOW ME YOUR FACE NOT YOUR FISH.

The dating apps that are probably actually worth using all require a paid subscription.

There’s no real way to advertise that you find sex and physical intimacy very important in a relationship without making yourself sound like a cock-thirsty whore. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, you do you, but I’m looking for someone to be a slut FOR, I’m not one already and I dislike not being able to be upfront about that without being profiled or attracting fuckboys.

WHY CAN I NOT FILTER OUT PROFILES THAT CONTAIN IMAGES OF FISH

STOP WITH THE FUCKING FISH COUNTRY BOYS. ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A GIRLFRIEND OR SOMEONE TO KEEP TRACK OF YOUR TACKLEBOX? AND DON’T TELL ME THAT’S THE SAME THING, MY FAMILY IS COUNTRY. IT AIN’T THE SAME FUCKING THING. ALL THAT FISH TELLS ME IS THAT YOU’RE PROBABLY COMPENSATING FOR SOMETHING.

Judging by the few fish-fucks with their profiles filled out at all – they’re compensating for personality.

With how shallow the filters on these sites are, just go ahead and fucking add eye color, hair, etc. Seriously. If you’re gonna let me be shallow enough to only pick men of a certain ethnicity, and religion, you may as fucking well let me see if I can find a guy with blue eyes, biceps, dark hair, non religious, who doesn’t want kids without reading every fucking profile I come across.

There are way more guys on these sites who want or think they want children some day. This baffles me. But then again my primary reason for not wanting children is pregnancy and giving birth which wouldn’t be their problem so of course they want them.

I just need to auto left-swipe if I see a fish. These apps are shallow anyway. Do not make a fucking fishing joke just because I said shallow.

OK Cupid has a better matching system than Bumble and such, but it’s still irritating as all hell. You can’t choose question categories that are more important. So if I see a 91% match, but he has no sex questions filled out or our sexual compatibility is like…50%...that’s not REALLY a 91% match for me. Let me mark 2 or 3 question categories as priority for fucks sake.

The bulk of guys on these apps fall into 2 categories (for me anyway) – Not enough giveadamn to explain their presence on the site & thank u, next.

Online dating is disappointing as fuck.

I’m seriously going to lose my mind if I can’t get away from the fucking fish pictures. ENOUGH. I GET IT. I NEED TO MOVE.

Seriously – I. Need. To. Move. Back. Home. I am not meant for this part of the country. These good ole boys are meant for someone but it ain’t me and my family is fucking country. I’ve been fishing, ridden 4-wheelers, made shit out of wood for shits and giggles, helped my grandparents in the garden, eaten deer my grandfather or uncles hunted and prepared, helped chop wood, ridden in the bed of a truck, etc etc etc. But ya bitch has lifestyle goals that only include mud at scheduled times. We can go camping, but we should also go out to dinner sometimes and go clubbing or dancing other times.

I was not born with this ass to settle for a man who looks like an angel and acts like one too. Why is no one non-ironically blunt about their sexual preferences? You cannot convince me that the majority of men lack strong opinions on this subject. SERIOUSLY. IT IS 2019 NOT 1619. God DAMNIT. You’re on a DATING SITE. THAT’S AN ASPECT OF RELATIONSHIPS THAT CAN MAKE OR BREAK THEM. BE STRAIGHTFORWARD.

It’s not even actually about sharing every interest. I don’t give a shit if he doesn’t like Harry Potter much. If he’s annoyed by the level I like it, yeah that’s an issue. Otherwise, be supportive and kind about that kinda shit. That’s all I’m asking for. That’s how I am in return.

I make shit with yarn, write off the wall fanfiction, have a lot of sexual interests I don’t usually broadcast, and don’t understand how dating sites are still this ineffective in 2019.

This is super long already so I’m gonna save the other apps for a separate installment if this one is enjoyed or whatever. Jesus. These apps, guys.

Apps I still need to talk about that probably won’t require this many words each – Hinge, Coffee Meets Bagel, OkCupid (OkC might need a few thousand words).

I’ll probably look into some other niche dating sites too because at this point, what the fuck ever - I just wanna meet someone back home or willing to move back home with me who fits some reasonable criteria parameters. And I’m not even as picky as half the profiles I’ve seen, lemme tell ya. I’m just fucking opinionated. And beyond sick of this experiment already.

Sigh.

If I ever see a fish again it’ll be too soon. Bet the first profile picture on my bumble dash later will be another fucking fish though.

Those who expressed interest: @accio-echo | @infallibleangel | @aconitumluparia and those who liked are my followers so you’ll see it. This post is so long my browser is bugging out with tags or I’d tag you all too.

#kyla bitches about things #dating apps #the dating app experiment #Bumble #things dating app articles won't warn you about #dating app conundrums

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theladyfromplanetx · 5 years

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Wonder Woman Vs. Captain Marvel: What the Critics Are Saying (and yes, some of them are women)

“The perfectly written, directed, acted and produced Wonder Woman should have been nominated for an Oscar. It paved the way for Captain Marvel to succeed as an art form, at the box office and with a female protagonist in a predominantly male genre. WW casts a shadow so big that any similar film that follows will have to bring its A game to equal it and an A+ game to beat it. Captain Marvel rates a C. It’s distinguished from other MCU movies by its female lead. Otherwise it is way too ordinary and middle of the pack.”

- Dwight Brown

“Perhaps it’s unfair to hold the MCU’s latest feature up alongside the first woman-led film in the rival DC Extended Universe, but a comparison to Wonder Woman (2017) is nonetheless instructive. Where Patty Jenkins’ film expressed its unabashedly female worldview through burning conflicts and graceful characterization, co-directors Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck seem content to sneak fist-pumping girl-power bromides in between the lines of a generic imperial space-war plot.”

- Andrew Wyatt

“It's no match for Wonder Woman, and that's a shame, because Captain Marvel deserves better.” - Akhil Arora

“Leaping off of the final scene of "Avengers: Infinity War" that gave us all a glimmer of hope, we are immediately made to wonder: Why didn't Nick Fury ever call on Captain Marvel before? When aliens attacked New York, or when a giant robot made an entire country levitate, that wasn't enough "danger" for Captain Marvel to be called on? This doesn't pass the eyeball or the smell test for even the most casual of MCU fans. By all accounts, Fury should have used his magic pager and called on Captain Marvel several movies ago. That truth underlies the whole premise of this movie, making the whole thing just feel...silly.” (I had to add this even though it makes no references to Wonder Woman because it makes you say “ah-ha!”)

- Tom Santili

“It took 21 movies for a solo female superhero film to make it into the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Know what else happened over 21 movies? The formula got stale. That Captain Marvel is easily on the weaker end of this sprawling franchise has zero to do with a woman being at its center, it has to do with the center she inhabits feeling unimaginative and repetitive. If Marvel really wanted their first female-led film to have an emotional impact (like, say, Wonder Woman did), they probably shouldn’t have made 20 films that mostly look and feel the same before trying it.”

- Matt Dougherty

“Really, much of the film’s feminism has a hollow, “rah-rah” element that rings as simplistic in a world where Wonder Woman was more overt. Carol’s discovery of her power and besting over the men in her life is good, but it’s a movie that falls back on a 1995 definition of Girl Power, and in 2019 hearkening back to 1995 doesn’t work.

- Kristen Lopez

“Wonder Woman smartly threw Diana into a world of oppressive (and inferior) men, allowing the character to overcome obstacles and succeed in spite of them. Captain Marvel throws Vers into a world of plot holes and “Happy Days” lunch boxes.

- Johnny Oleksinski

“I was bored watching Captain Marvel. I mean, I wasn’t bored like this during the superheroine movie Wonder Woman.” - Matthew Lickona

“Unlike Wonder Woman, which offered a rich, well-thought out backstory and an interesting mythology, Captain Marvel relies on confusing exposition and a scattershot method of universe building that’s not adequate to the task at hand. Wonder Woman had heart and easily forged an emotional connection with audiences; neither is the case here, where the focus is on technical bravura, rat-a-tat-tat pacing, humorous quips, and big “moments.””

- James Berardinelli

“Captain Marvel: Woman, but no wonder.” - Joe Morgenstern

“Instead of treating feminism as a structuring ideology to jump off from – like Wonder Woman so winningly did – Captain Marvel can’t seem to see beyond the idea that Carol is a woman.”

- Radheyan Simonpillai

“And if it came down to a one-on-one between rival franchise uber warriors Wonder Woman and Captain Marvel, there is no doubt who would inspire the heavy betting.” - Todd McCarthy

“Two years ago, Wonder Woman proved a female-led superhero movie could reach the highest levels of the genre, with Gal Gadot proving robust and redoubtable, yet also charming and feminine. I spent Captain Marvel waiting for Gadot. What I got was Brie Larson: charmless, humorless, a character so without texture that she might as well be made out of aluminum.”

�� - Kyle Smith

“Marvel not only finds itself lagging behind DC with its first female super hero, but utterly losing the contest.” - Laura Clifford

“While Larson won a Best Actress Oscar for Room, she’s no Wonder Woman.”

- Susan Granger

“Let’s get the bad news over with quickly: Captain Marvel is no Wonder Woman. Ever since superhero mania took hold of movies, DC Comics has had one, and only one, advantage over Marvel — a great female, feminist superhero. Marvel Comics couldn’t touch that. Marvel still can’t.”

- Mick LaSalle

“To be blunt, it’s insulting that Marvel felt simply making its first leading woman “one tough chick” would be enough to placate female fans. All the male Avengers' origin stories feature character flaws, physical weaknesses, and romantic interests who complicate their missions. Captain Marvel has none of these things. It’s impossible not to compare her to DC’s leading lady, Wonder Woman, who proved so winsome, warm, and witty she alone breathed life into the flailing Justice League franchise. Diana Prince’s Amazonian strength and agility, combined with her traditionally idealized feminine traits like innocence and beauty, create a nicely complex mix. Her chaste romance with self-sacrificing soldier Steve Trevor only compliments her loveliness. Over the course of the story, Steve helps her learn some hard lessons about her own naiveté that ultimately make both of their heroics more meaningful. Captain Marvel, in contrast, has nothing to learn beyond discovering that even those supposed flaws some man-mentor kept yammering at her to restrain are really strengths. Every challenge she faces is because someone with an XY chromosome is trying to box her in. She overcomes them by throwing off her male-forged shackles. So Wonder Woman willingly leaves the Eden-like perfection of Themyscira to grapple with humanity’s capacity for evil and weigh whether their fallenness still makes them worthy of her sacrifices. Captain Marvel returns to Earth on a journey of self-actualization to struggle with the idea that she’s even more awesome than she thinks she is. Which one sounds like a real role model for girls?” - Meghan Basham

“Carol Danvers, could not be any duller compared to Gal Gadot’s goddess-like DC Wonder Woman if she tried.”

- James Vernier

“Captain Marvel’s message feels corporate, ultimately coming across as if Marvel knows they’re playing catch up. It only took DC four movies in four years to make a solo, female-led superhero movie. Marvel’s been doing this for ten years.”

- Kendra James

“But this busy, uneven origin story also feels like too little, too late. Audiences have already been thrilled to the sight of a super-she-ro in 2017’s Wonder Woman. What might have been a cathartic thrill a few years ago now takes the form of a question: What took you guys so long?”

- Ann Hornaday

Then there’s this video.

#Captain Marvel #Wonder Woman #Marvel Comics #DC Comics #film criticism

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retro-nat-attack-blog · 7 years

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The party bus slows down...

So...I figured that I might not ever have posts like these on this kind of blog, because I mostly just wanted it to be a non-stop party bus of memes, fandom hype, shitposting and maybe this newfangled nightblogging I’ve heard about, but I just had an important epiphany.

I was watching a video on Mama Ru’s history and discovery of her/his identity, and other things about the Drag race, and it suddenly got me thinking about my own slow discovery of mine. Long story short, when it comes to gender identity, sexuality, and around the 2000′s when I was in preteen years and it was still a ways yet before we all collectively woke up to a plethora of identities and such...I was just quietly drifting around the entire issue and not really letting any of it sink in; I either had other things I considered more important on my mind, or I just didn’t want to let it sink in about what these “identity terms” even meant to me. I wasn’t on anyone’s “side”, let’s say. Wasn’t impressed by the “Girls vs Boys War” back then and I’m sure as hell not now, so I stayed outside of it all. I did feel certain ways about things, but I never processed what it was about, and then I guess I shut it all off before it got too distracting. I had questions I kept to myself and left unanswered or even brought up for years. Decades, even. But now, through the more recent years after my highschool days were done, and I’ve had even more time to go over it, I started thinking a little more about my sexuality and gender and which ones they were this whole time.

I’ll start with GENDER first: Despite the fact that I don’t have any romantic/dating/sex experience beyond admiration of others; maybe even against the fact (because that’s definitely how I do things), I’ve come to realize that even though I was born female, and even had points where I thought I should transition to male because of various clues that I wasn’t completely “girl”, my true gender is...nil. I’m they; basically neither because it never mattered to me for my whole life! You remember how I talked about it, right? I spent so long debating and weighing all the pros and cons each have, but I never questioned if I actually desired to be either of them or if I only liked the idea of having a set gender. Turns out, while I appreciate the different aspects both have, I can’t ignore the worse things that come with both of them that I don’t want. Even now, I was still making the mistake of not thinking about it all, while I’ve heard everyone has been having great self-discoveries and becoming happier for it. More importantly, I’ve come to understand that I really am an outsider that’s looking inward into an entire shitshow of men and women fighting against eachother in that gender war I mentioned where nobody wins. And I don’t believe they ever will. I can’t tell you how quietly embarassed I feel when I see people continuing the “Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better” mentality. Yeah, the song was fun, but the meaning isn’t and I was never about that.

Next half is about my SEXUALITY. This one was especially confusing at first, again, because of my inexperience with anything beyond family and friendship. But I’ve come to understand that there really are other ways to tell what yours is despite what is already true, admittedly. I have working hormonal glands just like everyone else on the planet, and they have reacted to both women and men, real or fictional. Maybe it’s even been helped by the fact that I’m inexperienced; there’s still an old mystique to the two that still excites me, and I wouldn’t change that feeling for the world. Then there’s been the increasing awareness of the spectrum of sexual identities as well, which is perfect! And I know that thanks to this, I am definitely Bi. This was actually something I discovered more easily than the other, so that’s great. Nothing makes you more sure about who you like than your own body reacting to them. But then there’s another thing about having an attraction to aliens as well; again, it’s the mystique, which I think lines up with Pan? But I have very picky guidelines about this anyway, and it’s besides the big point I’m trying to make.

So all in all, I hereby announce on July 30th 2017 that I, retro-gamer-nat, am henceforth, officially known as THEY, THEM and YOU, on the grounds that I legitimately and factually never gave a fuck. SHE is also fine on the grounds that this was the beginning gender and is still in use for my family and all others who may still struggle with the Spectrum. I am also to be henceforth known mainly as BISEXUAL with a fluid/temporary PANSEXUAL on the grounds of my natural hormonal reactions that solidify it, and will be defacto until further notice. Thank you for your time and understanding.

Soooo if you finally made it this far, THANK YOU FOR ATTENDING MY COMING OUT PARTY HOLY SHIAT NAT ACTUALLY DID IT THEY HAD SOMETHING SERIOUS TO TALK ABOUT YEAH NEVER THOUGHT THEY’D SEE THE DAY EITHER OH MY GOD WHTA’S EVEN HAPPENING I’M ACTUALLY USING IT NOW IT FEELS SO COOL I’VE ACCOMPLISHRED AN IMPORTANT LIFE GOAL SCREAM WITH ME EVERYONE HWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAI also got my egg tubes cauterized a few years ago so obviously the next step is to get a surgeon to chop off the titters cuz I never needed those shits and they’re nothing but trouble. Another day~

#Seriously this was my wake up moment today #Nothing else matters but inner happiness #Thank you for taking the time to read all of this if you did #Sometimes the party bus makes stops so we can rest #And all is good #happy pride everyone #bi the way #bisexual interest #pan interest #they is the way #important #truth #healthy things to blog #real talk from nat

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