#I am already mortified

[f-ai-n]

From that one twt post

#genshin impact #my art #fanart #kaeya alberich #kaeya #aizawa shouta #aizawa #bnha #mha #i know they both have eyepatches #I am already mortified

[lesbianjonimitchell]

decorate my tree <3 tagged by the lovely @userparamore and @chiefofmilfs – thank you so much!! this is adorable... if anyone else has trees please let me know so i can write a message <3

tagging: @fbidirectorscully @tanglesmp3 @pleasuresoftheharbor @kneadingwater @humanveil @livbensonfinalgirl @peoplespartiesmp3 @jacketrepresents @wordsoflove2004 @meadow-dusk @thecenterwillnothold @lettertoanoldpoet @lesbxh @joni-witchell if you guys want to make a tree! also anyone i haven't tagged feel free to say i tagged you or msg me for a tag if you'd like to do it!! love and light 💘

#i feel like im forgetting someone am so sorry 😮‍💨 anyways no pressure. but pls do let me know if you already have a tree! #goes for anyone not tagged too id love to write you messages 💓 #facing the mortifying ordeal of being known for once and participating in a tag game! this is so cute

[chocolatewoosh]

I Should Stop Talking

#Kailey Does A Talk #''But Kailey it's just a cold you'll live'' YEAH SURE I ABSOLUTELY WILL BUT I DON'T NEED THIIIISSSSS #My beloved girlfriend (I love you hi Emily) had this cold #A gentle cold. a simple cold. stuffy nose and sneezes. sore throat. the usual. very traditional cold (she's almost better now thankfully) #She got this exact same cold last year and when she passed it on to me it DESTROYED me for a solid week #I was all ''heh my immune system is awesome I'll be fine'' hard cut to me completely dead #I am Mortified at what this cold could behold. Blease be gentle with me I do not wish to expire for a week again #I've already used up all my sick days at work for a vacation at the end of the month you can't DO this to me

[moongothic]

#Moon posting #There's a lot to be said about FF7's themes and Cloud's character arc and how a lot of it ties into toxic masculinity #And like. The scene in VIIR where you play as Aerith when Cloud comes out of the bar in a dress and he's absolutely MORTIFIED by his get up #That fucking out-of-body horror and distress Cloud is going through even though there isn't anything for him to be ashamed of? #How humiliated he felt and how the compliments on how he was looking didn't make him feel any better? #That was me when my mom forced me to wear a skirt to my grandma's funeral back when I was in high school #(The last god forsaken time I wore a fucking skirt) (And even at that point I hadn't worn those things for YEARS) #That scene with Cloud? Yeah. Big ''I'm in this picture and I don't like it''-energy. #So this whole thing of Cloud wanting to live up to a horrible twisted idea of masculinity (a Shinra Soldier(/Sephiroth)) #And realizing that he never can but(/and?) doesn't have to. That his masculinity is already good enough. That's wonderful. #Also Cloud is just kinda gender leave me alone #Sure wish I had a PS5 because I sure would like to play Rebirth but I am not dropping 700€ to play a single fucking game #Already feel bad enough about getting a Switch last year just for TOTK #Can't even watch my fave Tubers play it because I wanna experience it on my own too #Woe is me

[levana-stark]

I swear if they actually aks them about fanfics in that Q&A, you'll never hear from me again.

#max verstappen #red bull racing #I am already mortified.

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

being sick as an adult sucks. wdym my mom won’t just automatically make sure I eat food instead of exclusively drinking Gatorade all day. wdym I have to ask my roommates to make me dinner. I have to Venmo a friend money to buy me more Gatorade?? I can’t focus enough to do homework??? I hate this.

#this is a silly haha humor post but in all seriousness. #COVID rly is just making me stare all the internalized ableism in the eye #yes worth isnt defined by productivity and disability and the idea of being a burden is part of being human and isn’t shameful at all #until I have to minorly inconvenience people to meet my basic needs #I really want to eat dinner but that would require asking my roommates to make me dinner which is just. 5 kinda of mortifying. #even though if someone I knew was sick I would not be upset about making them food! sick people need to eat! #my parents ordered me chipotle yesterday bc they were so concerned bc of how I sounded over the phone #and my friend went out and bought me juice and Gatorade and popsicles and took me to the doctor #the support system Exists I just feel bad about having to use it T-T #I just want to be hugged and read to and reminded to eat food but I am an adult now and not at home #lonely TT-TT #it’ll be okay I’m probably just emotional bc I’m sick and hungry #I also just am struggling so hard because I want to catch up on my classwork Right Now #but I can get through maybe one assignment before I’m too exhausted to keep sitting up #and I have to lay down and close my eyes and sleep or do a light activity like playing candy crush for the fifty bazillionth time #I’ve gotten through like. 100 levels this week. #I’m losing my dang marbles. I am gonna be so behind in ASL Susan is gonna be so disappointed in me #I feel like I have all this energy when I’m laying down bored but as soon as I sit up I feel like I’m floating and about to fall over #so. so tired. why can’t I be healthy already and do homework T-T. #I’m choosing to take this as a lesson to slow down and not overwork myself so hard. instead of being mad at myself for getting behind. #<- is trying and failing not to be mad at herself for getting behind

[soldier-poet-king]

Cried abt steal smoked fish (the song) today at the grocery store so like. That's where we're at.

#the duality of fran #i put it on my astarion playlist and maybe that was a mistake #bc i already listen to it too much and it is this particular peculiar kind of grief and prayer #WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #im literally fine except everything makes me SO emotional ALL THE TIME and its incurable #and i dont WANT it to be Cured #i maybe just want to be coddled and not feel insane #smthn smthn vulnerability and mortifying ordeal of being known. unforch #im making a coffee. again. #would it be enough if i could never give you peace? #i am striving and striving and never getting anywhere #also i want to book a tattoo consult again. and get my touch ups done now that its been a month plus of healing

[pepprs]

anyways. i hit tag limit and now im going to go to bed late bc i have to clean the whole kitchen. but the last 48 hours have just been so emotionally intense and exhausting and painful. i relived july 5-29 2022 in 48 hours. and it was better than that ofc bc i wasn’t uhmmmm shut down and unable to express my feelings 😍😍😍😍😍😍 but it was still horrible and the worst is over but im still in so much emotional / mental pain rn and it’s gonna take a while to recover from that and i don’t have the emotional resources i need to do so obviously. yayyyyy 🥳

#purrs #delete later #the MMMMMORTIFYING. MORTIFYING. ordeal. of romy leaving the way she did. and never being able to recover from that so the wound has festered #only for someone else i love and cherish and depend on to leave. LIKE IFS INSANE TO ME. it is so crazymaking. i can’t withstand the pain of #it. but OF COURSE i can like they’re not d*ad or anything god forbid a million times they’re just moving on. but im just taking it so hard. #in ways that are so… unhealthy and abnormal and hard to carry and hard to live through. and again living in fear that it will happen one #more time and i’ll be truly alone then. but then it’s like silly tess pepprs you already WERE alone! because nobody can meet the four needs #except for you… or like a significant other if you could get around your psychic block 🥰 but yeah. i am not functioning well and i #don’t know how to get the relief and healing i need because it’s a process etc etc. i just wish this wasn’t happening. i feel so wounded and #bruised and horrible rn. like my heart physically hurts… ermmmmm 😳‼️ #also im namedropping at this point idec. i feel bad about it and i shouldn’t but imgonna give myself and my future self this one today LOL

[derelictheretic]

I am 👌 this close to getting comms of my blorbos

#I am already getting two from vík but I want MORE. I have been perusing everyones comm posts and I WANTS #getting my stuff together and making sure I have enough refs and what not for them all before I go feral crazy #also hying myself up for the mortifying ordeal of emails and human interaction #I'd also love to get a writing comm one of these days I wonder who has those open 🤔🤔 #i'm just. craving blorbos #nadine is typing...

[strwbrymlkshake]

ohh I do want to pass away why am I so stupid

#mine #🎸 #why am i such a terrible person 😇 genuinely what the fuck #me when i want to cry and tear my skin off over a minor mistake ufhdshdjfjg can i stop being fucking stupid for once #crying over a mistake right NOW actually everything is so difficult i dont know what im supposed to do in these situations!!!!!!! #i get in trouble for not knowing what to do in social situations then i have to apologize and i didnt know THAT either. #bashing my head against the wall violence maiming killing death torture bloodletting slicing tearing defenestrating murdering annihilating #me anmd my epic autism powers. shouldnt i know better why csnt you understand!!! who is at fault here! i dont even know #ashshsjdksjfklsfke im wanna cry so hard everything sucks right now im too busy for this shit. for Emotions #why are you punishing me do you hate me?! did you never even like me at all are you trying to make me mad!!! why #im so tired and frustrated i want everything to go perfectly but its not nothing can be perfect in this terrible world he is going to hate #me now. hell why do i have urges like this it always ruins everything im being so selfish arent i aren't i arent i !!!!!!!! why cant we #be FUCKING compatible and perfect snd everything what is the problem am i the problem?!?? why cant you understsnd what im trying to tellyou #maybe it really would just be better if i died nothing good has happened or is going to happen to me since he probably hates me and #my life sucks!!!!! my face hurts from crying i cant cry properly it hurts it feels so hot why cant it end already!!!!!!! why cant #we be perfect like we are supposed to why cant you UNDERSTAND it seems easy to understand to ME whwueh i am mortified my throat hurts #my head hurts i hate this world why couldnt i resist why did i have to be vulnerable id be better off if. well i dont know #i do want to crush bones and flesh beneath my hands to be honest i dont KNOW i thought it was going well i thought it was good #the thread i am hanging on by is quite thin actually why do i care so much why do i care so little im going to explode right meow!!! #my mood is so ruined i dont know if im even used to this whole thing i cannot get in particular moods im so. rgrhrhggr none of this post #is going to make sense i just need to say words while crying then itll be fine probably #this is just another one of god's little tests i think that everyone will hate me no matter what in the end so i have to enjoy it while #it lasts. no matter how hard i try everything always ends up the same way. all this started because of my mistakes and itll end with them

[swampdrive]

I need to go home right now immediately ashfhfkd

#just gave 12 to a woman who i thought was homeless and am now beating up my brain bc im not sure if she actually WAS or if i just gave a #random woman 12 unprompted aehdbsj if so PLEASE let her have interpreted the interaction as me paying it forwa #ard at the cafe or smthn jesus christ #please dont misinterpret any of this i am just already mortified by like every social interaction i have anyway its not that i potentially #gave someone 12 dollars who didnt “need” it thats the issue its the idea of a botched social interaction thats grating on me #ngl i feel like im goingto throw up from anxiety now

[advancedscurvy]

i hate when you know youre being unreasonable to be so upset and nobody meant anything by a remark from a complete stranger but it has snowballed into an afternoon-long downturn of mood completely and you want to cry

#personal #mine #for context i wore a dress with an empire waist out to the grocery store #now i am not a small person. not like. plus size but i definitely have a bit of a tummy #i think it's a pretty dress and i felt kinda nice! i also had a recurring dream about having a baby last night. for context i probably cant #i reasonably should not have children i would be a huge medical risk and it would be a huge detriment to my health but i WANT ONE. #so i was already a bit bummed about that this morning. but i have banana bread to make and no flour to make it. #im standing in line with my hand basket and this very sweet older lady asks me how far along i am. she clearly means well #i am like oh uh sorry to tell you but i am not and she looked mortified but like #it got me bummed both about my body and about the I Don't For A Variety of Reasons Have A Baby and I Want One #bad time all around #it's one off hand remark by someone who was clearly trying to be kind to me and care about my life because she was complimenting me before! #i should not be upset by a stranger assuming a bit by the cut of my clothes and the fact that i have a bit of a tummy that i am With Child. #but i am completely bummed

[redjennies]

I would like to know why men keep trying to cheat on their girlfriends with me and then be too stupid to actually pull it off. like DUDE, I am mad that you're a slimeball and your girlfriend is a total sweetheart but I am also mad that you were dumb enough to invite us both to the same house party like what did you THINK was going to happen? straight up you are SO damn lucky I have far too much self-preservation to tell her you downright, no room for interpretation propositioned me and you would have gotten away with it because I did not fuckin know. and like I swear to god, motherfucker was still trying to finesse it at the end of the night and like NO, bitch, I'm going home. you must be out of your goddamn mind.

#tell you what next time i find out a man's a pisces the crush is OVER #sorry i have to laugh about it. i am genuinely so mad and mortified but like it was funny in a fucked up way. #i just feel sorry for his girl but like i aint saying anything lest this turn into an ''tess is an evil homewrecker'' situation #and i dont need that on my reputation. i already got enough problems in this town. #tess talks

[the-dance-of-italy]

Cameras are scary...

#we went to pick this bad boy earlier because i have photography class and BOI am i mortified just by the cost alone #i forgot to get a memory card but i guess i gotta wait until Monday to get it :] #i already got my sights on my first model #a very small and humble but lovely pink flower tree a neighbor has #there's something charming about the lil thing and i want the first photo to be of that tree

[lilgynt]

my friends like invite him to go clubbing with us! i’m gonna club my brain in.

#personal #one i invited someone else already so im not gonna be like hey single friend lemme go off with whatever this dude is and leave you with #my friend you don’t know with her boyfriend #then that’s such a weird driving situation #like do we stick with the original game plan of having friends bf drive and then have that dude meet up or #do i have him pick me up and go pick up friend which insane to ask second hang out #ah!!! #and then it’s like well you’re only considering the second possibility bc you enjoy his company and wouldn’t mind him driving you home #which leads into like well. what is this. #cause yes we’ve been talking for like a few weeks #had a very nice date #talked about getting TESTED #is it like. are we. just talking are we hitting and quitting are we gonna be 🫣 #which is like what do *i* want #which crazy enough! i actually really like this dude so i wouldn’t mind a relationship #but then it’s like okay. what if he doesn’t like me. or only wants sex. hnnnn #and now i’m embarrassed about everything like damn he fr saw me spam my insta im gonna kill my self #what’s the appropriate amount of time to respond to a message- not what’s the appropriate #to ignore than respond but what makes it seem like i’m not waiting by the phone #which novel experience outside of friendship #and i’m trying to logic myself out of it like hey. good experience whichever way this goes #you got some talking practice went on a proper date that wasn’t dennys that you half paid for after they explained their whole books plots #I CAN TALK MY LEGITMENT POLITICS AND BELIEFS. #experience. which great. doesn’t do anything the whole im fumbling feeling like at alll #this is mortifying and i hate it. like i cannot exaggerate it’s a little disgusting #oh and then okay he has the time and does go clubbing #I CSNT FUCKING DANCE. #and the WORST bit. is im kicking my feet and giggling when we’re talking like die!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #i’m getting butterfly’s listening to the playlist he made me #regardless how this goes i am not doing this again this is way too stressful

[pepprs]

also (this is it i promise) this is why i am so INSANELY excited to have my own room soon. like omg. it is definitely not perfect bc it’s at home and there’s a breaker box in it and you can hear footsteps really loud through the ceiling and also again *it’s at home* when i really need to not be living at home. but the quality of life improvement i am about to have is actually INSANE. i will be able to have a space far away from everyone else where i can sing without bothering anyone and play piano and decorate it (mostly) to my liking and have a desk and draw and paint and do whatever. finally!!!!!!!! that is going to fix me!!!!!

#purrs #i just wish it was permanent or that i had more years to spend in it. like i actually just want to find the place where i will live forever #and just stay there bc oh my GOD am i tired of living in places temporarily. i have so many issues w that bc so many spaces that were #formative for me have been destroyed (e.g. the van 😍😍😍😍 and my grandparents house 😍😍😍😍 and my favorite hs teachers classroom 😍😍😍😍) or are #going to be destroyed (e.g. the office where i work rn 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍) or ive had to leave them and move out bc they’re inherently temporary (e.g. #my on campus room 😍😍😍😍 and my room in brighton 😍😍😍😍😍😍). and ive had attachment issues w space / location : whatever my whole life like i wou #would have huge meltdowns whenever we were transitioning from like elementary school to middle school middle school to high school etc etc.. #so i really just um. would like permanence and stability please. im 24. im done w school for now and maybe forever. i want to find a place w #where i can just like.. stay. so if im paying rent like something that would allow me to renew it indefinitely and not fear bei ng kicked #out randomly or at the end of a determined period. i just want a home lol i want a homeeeee and i want to decorate it with all my things and #never be afraid that i will lose it and get to stay there forever and ever or at least as long as i want. bc my parents already have plans f #for my new room after i move out and i won’t get to decorate it as much as i want bc my mom doesn’t want me to damage the paint. but like if #i have a place of my own then i get to decide a little ding in the paint is worth it to put up my lanterns. you know? idk. the mortifying #ordeal of experiencing freedom like thisfor the first time in my mid-late twenties probably 😍😍😍😍😍😍 but still its gonna be good and i hope it #happens soon and i have to MAKE that happen. so yeah. #wishlist #delete later #ok now im done for real THJS time lol. my mom is gonna be so pissed at me ive barely lifted a finger here. but im enjoying the quiet what ca #can i say!!!!!!!! like OMG ok last thi ng…. like she’s always saying i have to love myself first before i get into a relationship and it’s l #like.. maybe my living conditions do not predispose me to be able to spend time w myself in ways that allow me to love myself!!!!!! #maybe always being on the defense and needing to find quiet spaces all the time and being shamed for that is not a very good way to experien #experience myself in the place im supposed to feel most grounded and comfortable!!! so yeah. #like maybe i stopped doing all the things i loved bc you got alexa and loud speakers and started blasting music all the time and dominating #space and becoming more and more high maintenance… 😳 (and obviously i changed as a person / played a role in it too but again my point / re #realization is… maybe it was in RESPONSE to stimuli that were not good for me and not just bc i suck as a person / am losing myself / etc.) #like theeeee sonic warfare of it all. also my brother is a key player in it too bc he raps and sings at the top of his lungs and it’s like 🤨