#I am still mad at Mal for everything in book 7 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

intern-seraph · 8 months

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as he falls from the sky

You manage to hold on to consciousness despite the powerful magic coaxing you into sleep. Malleus resolves to tire you out, himself.

(originally posted on ao3)

this one was written after malleus' actual ob happened in book 7 lol; title from That Unwanted Animal by The Amazing Devil

ik that u should be asleep in this scenario but just like. assume porn logic or whatever ok??? mayb being completely non-magical makes u resistant to mal's sleep spell or sth idk!!!

PLEASE heed the warnings!

CWs: mutually dubious consent, overblot smut, angst+smut, bondage, inappropriate use of vines, fem!reader, mild blood, non-human genitalia, malleus draconia has 2 penises, vaginal fingering, vaginal sex, possessive behavior, crying, biting

“Malleus…” You struggle to speak, eyelids drifting open and closed. “You’re…” Your mouth tastes bitter and metallic. It’s taking everything in you to fight against the magical sleep, and your digits are starting to feel tingly and numb. The effort makes your head pound. A tiny cry of pain escapes you. In a heartbeat, Malleus scoops you up into his arms.

“Oh, my darling, don’t fight it. You’ll only hurt yourself.” He hushes you, his voice soft and tender despite the ink oozing from his eyes and mouth. One hand rises to cup your cheek and wipe away your tears. He leaves behind a chilly smear of ink. “Your resilience is admirable… but it is time to accept my gift.”

You sob, your fingers curling weakly into his cape. “N-no. You’ll… you’ll get hurt…”

He sighs and shakes his head as if chastising an obstinate child. With long, graceful strides, he moves through the thorny vines and sleeping bodies littering the path to the throne. Malleus cradles you in his lap, humming to himself as he settles in. The tune is uncanny — some part of you recognizes it, but it’s far enough removed from that familiarity to make your stomach turn. “Nothing here can hurt me,” he says abruptly. “You have nothing to fear.”

“You,” is all you manage to say. His electric green eyes widen before lidding heavily as he laughs.

“No, not even myself. I am entirely in control.”

You squirm in his arms. “No!” Another sob. "Listen to me!"

"Shh… it's alright, it's alright. Just close your eyes for me."

"Malleus!"

He seems genuinely harrowed by your scream. You see his jaw tense. "So you refuse to sleep. Then I will tire you out, myself." The oppressive aura surrounding him grows heavier. Around you, more thorny vines slither up the sides of the throne. They begin to curl around your body, gently tugging your arms behind your back and winding around your thighs. The thorns don’t pierce your skin, only plucking tauntingly as you keep squirming. “Be still.”

A gentle hand comes up to cup your cheek. Despite yourself, you lean your head into his palm. The warped affection in his eyes makes your chest hurt, and you sniffle weakly. He leans forward, pressing his forehead against yours. You can feel the imprint of his scales, cool and smooth against your clammy skin. With a dreamy sigh, he leans in and kisses you. His pace is slow, languid, sensual. Deep in your chest, you moan. Soon, you’re returning the kiss. Your arms strain against the vines, aching to touch him.

“There we go, that’s my good girl,” Malleus coos. A shudder rolls down your spine, and you throw your head back as he kisses along your jaw all the way down your neck. His lashes flutter against your skin. Then, hand steadying himself on your thigh, his mouth drags open so he may take your throat in his fangs. Your breath stills. When he bites down, it’s with that same agonizing slowness. Pain takes you. You spasm, screaming, but the vines hold you fast and his teeth only immobilize you further.

After a long few minutes, he releases your throat to lick plaintively at the bleeding puncture wounds left behind. You can’t stop shivering. You make a tiny, broken noise.

“I must apologize, my love. I didn’t want to hurt you, but…” His voice deepens to a growl, and the madness in his glowing eyes sparks to life. “Understand that I am only doing what’s best. My mark will protect you. My gift will preserve you. Accept it. Accept me.” One hand slides down to your waistband. He shoves his fingers under your underwear and runs them through your lower lips. Your hips buck against the vines binding them as you yelp. “Oh, my darling, if you want me this badly, you may have me. And then… then, you will sleep. I’ll be sure to satisfy you completely. You will only have the loveliest dreams. Sssso wet for me… you undersssstand, don't you? Why I musssst keep you? Why you cannot leave me? Precioussss, ssssweet human." His tongue flicks out between his lips, long and serpentine. His hisses fan out over your stinging wounds and the cool air makes you shudder. Beneath your trousers, his fingers prod at your hole and tease you open. He's right: you're dripping wet, shame trickling down your body in little beads of sweat just the same as the pre making your underwear damp and uncomfortable. You grind your teeth against your moans as he begins to fuck you on his fingers. You should be focused on saving him, not —

“Ma… ahn… Malleus!” You throw your head back as you come. You can’t shy away from his persistent thrusts, nor can you roll your hips into his overstimulating touch. It’s painful in a way you can’t help but want more of. You whimper, thrashing in your binds.

“Still not tired out… I see.” His fingers leave you, and you go limp as you catch your breath. Malleus hums in contemplation before he brushes his fingers against your hips. Suddenly, you’re naked. The thorns prick at your newly-bare skin. Groaning, the vines begin to shift you around until you straddle his lap. Beneath you, his cocks brush against your naked thighs — when did he take them out?

“We can’t,” you rasp out. You don’t sound convincing even to yourself. “Y-you’re not all here, and… oh…”

The head of one cock butts up against your hole. He coos at you, the noise soft and birdlike. His knuckles brush the curve of your jaw. “Shhh… let me take care of you, my love.”

You whine. Tears bead along your lashes and drip down your face, smearing through the ink he’d left behind earlier. Gently, he eases you down, continuing to coo and stroke along your jawline. For a moment, as you approach the thickest part of his cock, your breath hitches in your throat. His hips surge up to sheathe himself fully, and you release that breath in a moan. Malleus snarls, smothering the sound as he mashes his lips against yours. One hand seizes your hip while the other settles between your thighs; his long fingers stroke your clit with a jarring gentleness in comparison to the rapid, rhythmless pace he immediately sets. You’re helpless in his grasp. All you can do is squirm and moan and kiss him back as he fucks your hole.

“I love you,” he pants. His claws dig into the meat of your hips as his thrusts become more frantic. “I love you sssso much, don’t you… hah… don’t you undersssstand? I jusssst want to… keep you…” One more thrust; his hips surge up to be flush with yours. You can feel his cocks pulsing as he comes, filling your cunt and splattering on your stomach. His fingers dart down to your clit, and you’re quick to follow him with a whimper. Panting, Malleus looks up at you with glazed eyes. “Forever. You are mine forever.”

The vines surrounding you retreat. You collapse onto Malleus’ lap, thoroughly exhausted. He cradles you in his arms and strokes your sweaty skin. With a snap of his fingers, the filth covering both of you vanishes — you don’t miss how more ink flows from his tear ducts. You reach up with a tremulous hand to wipe at the ink with your thumb but only succeed at smearing it further. “Please,” you whisper. “You need to wake up.”

His smile saddens. He presses his face into the crown of your head, inhaling deeply. In the wake of his fingers’ exploration of your body, a black silk nightgown drapes over you. It’s cool and sleek against your skin, and you shiver and sigh. You feel his lips curve into a gentle smile. “No, my dear. I don’t need to wake up. You need to rest. Aren’t you tired?”

You are.

“Will you accept my gift now, my dear?”

What other choice do you have?

The thorns creep up around the throne. Roses blossom along the curling vines. Malleus reaches out and plucks a blood-red rose, then tucks it behind your ear. It hurts to resist the cloying pull of his magic. The scent of roses grows overwhelming. You let your eyelids droop shut. “Sleep. I will grant you the most wonderful dream.”

#malleus x reader #malleus x yuu #twst malleus #malleus smut #malleyuu #malleus draconia #twisted wonderland malleus #seraph speaks #my writing #nsft

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jarita123 · 3 months

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Firefly and Serenity

I just rewatched Firefly for about 12th time and I still hate FOX for cancelling it.

Yes, we are not supposed to talk about Joss Whedon these days but think whatever you want, he knew how to work with big cast, characters and how to mix it together. His Buffy, Angel and Firefly are three shows that are a great example of that. Yes, today, we know he was a bully and it is not OK. But I am not going to pretend these shows don´t exist - it would be disrespectful towards the people who worked hard on those shows, despite the conditions and created memorable characters and are still proud about being part of these shows.

Now, after the explanation - Firefly existed for only a brief moment in time, yet made a huge impact for many reasons.

I understand Whedon took some inspirations in, for example, Blake´s 7. Today a bit unknown show about rebels on a space-ship, edging western (or Mad Max :D ) at some points. It was a low-budget but great show and the insipiration is apparent. But in Firfely, the characters are not criminals (or falesly accussed criminals, that would be B7 AND Farscape, but that´s another story), and Malcolm Reynolds could have been actually a very complex character, if he got a chance to take a few seasons to develop from the moral, yet grey area captain to the darker turn in Serenity. But he did not get them but Nathan did a great job with the short amount of time he had. That is why Serenity is a bit of an odd animal. It is a result of a characer and story development that never happened.

In the existing 14 episodes, you get character interactions between ALL characters, each one has sort of "their" episode but it never fails to be a team piece.

Mal´s adamant "you are my crew" and his protectivness over everybody is the core. He accepted Simon and River into his arms and his crew without a hesitation. His "Simon is many things, coward is not one of them." shows a huge respect towards - for him a snobbish person who represented all he fought against in the war - who gave up everything to protect and save his sister. His relationship with Inara is "will they, won´t they", his total trust in Zoe, who always has his back and through her, in Wash. Even Jayne, who knows very well how lucky he was to get onto Malcolm´s ship. Mal´s almost older brother protectivness over Kayles is cute.

Through all this, we get to know all the other characters.

And yet, we know so little and we never get to know more. No wonder the episodes like "Out of Gas" or "Objects in space" are some among the most favourite.

Inara, who for some reason left her relatively safe life and income at the Core and went to discover edges of the space with a band of thieves. Why? What happened? Would she be able to leave: What are the rules of the Guild?

Book and his set of skills that included knowledge of Alliance tacticts, firearms, fight and we never get to know how he got to do and know all of this.

Simon and his slow change, warming up towards people who he would never even met in his previous life. His slow acceptance that this piece of junk is actually his home, where he is respected and cared for and finds a love and safety for himself and River.

Kaylee, her innocence and trust in people, who is cared for as a junior member of the crew and protected even by someone like Jayne.

Jayne, a mercenary, a criminal, a person who you can trust for as long as he gets paid...or not? What made him this way? Where did he learn to fight and shoot like that?

Wash, who we know nothing much about except that he is a great pilot and loves Zoe, yet is instantly our favourite. Who he was before? Where did he learn to fly?

Zoe, who is a "first officer", yet we know probably the least about her. Who she was before she joined the army? How did she fall in love with Wash?

I could go on and on and still suffer from the fact we will never know.

Yet, we got some answers in Serenity, that had painfully too short time to cover it all. It is different tonally, the crew seems to have some cracks and as mentioned above, apparently a few years passed so everyoboy is a bit more bitter, Mal the most and his OOC behaviour from "You are part of my crew" to "You haveto earn the stay on my crew" is a bit too big leap.

Yet, it is at least *some* conclusion and more or less tries to stay faithful to everything else we loved in those brief 14 episodes. Some shows got cancelled even without the luxury of any closeruse.

Serenity can also work as a stand-alone movie. I saw it years before I got to Firefly and only later found out it was a sequl to the show. Yet, I enjoyed it as a sci-fi nerd, and did not really need to know that much. The scene where they are listening to the message from the doctor and then her apparent death in hands of the Reavers, recorded and shown off screen, but with screams and faces of our characters watching it, is one of the most chilling scenes ever. "Don´t show" is the best way how to create a horror. So it was not a bad movie at all, but makes you feel nostalgic and sad about "what could have been" because we were robbed. We could have spent so much more times with these people.

Many of the actors went on to have successful carreers and other shows and it is good for them.

Yet, this not-even-remotely forgotten gem should, and could continue, if it was not already so many years since it aired. I don´t want a sequel or a remake because it is impossible to remake in the same atmosphere and chemistry of the cast.

We can keep this show close to our hearts with the "what could have been" thought and rewatch it from time to time, to let the world know that we love it, remember it and that FOX should be damned for cancelling it too soon :)

#firefly serenity #cancelled shows

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black-rose-writings · 3 years

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Reading Siege and Storm because I hate myself

To begin, I’d like to state that this is my first read-through and I only have vague idea of the plot I’ve gathered from fanfics and tumblr posts.

Long post ahead

Chapter 1

So... at first I was like - huh, this isn’t as bad as I thought, but the moment Alina gets introspective, it all goes to hell.

Like, she’s being physically made sick by not using her powers, which is making her feel useless - like, she says, pretty much verbatim: “The only thing I was ever good at was being a Sun Summoner and I’m not that anymore.”

I’m gonna beat those paragraphs over the head of anyone, who says Alina got a good ending.

I’ve also noticed just how often the like “I pushed that thought away” is used and more often than not, it’s used on thoughts that should probably not be pushed away.

Ah, yes, here he comes, my boy Darkles, being the dramatic bitch he always is. We get it, you’re the hot villain, tempting the good and pure heroine away from being good and pure.

And I’m just now realizing how many times in this chapter has Alina lamented their lack of privacy. We have to ensure the reader doesn’t hink she’s *gasp* sleeping with Mal.

Chapter 2

What?

Alina is tripping balls while being put under by a Heartrender, got it.

Darkling is being the voice of reason, but I’m getting the distinct feeling it won’t last.

Ivan gets one point, because Alina is in fact a traitor, but he’s also being a cunt, so it doesn’t really count.

Alina at Sturmhond: Do you even care about Ravka?

Me at Alina: Do you?

Chapter 3

“Mermaids are not real”. I’m pretty sure they are in the Grishaverse.

My boy Darkles is still making sense, but Alina is dedicated to being against him just for the hell of it, it seems.

Did this bitch just throw a tantrum, because he told her, what we can assume is the truth? Okay. Like, I get that she’s at best 18, but still. Not exactly the type of protagonist whose head I like being in.

And in that moment, dozens of smut fics were born.

Chapter 4

Wow, that was quick.

Aaand. What had just happened?

Chapter 5

Sturmhond is a funny bitch, I’ll give him that.

And this entire conversation, it seems like Mal’s entire purpose is to stand behind Alina threateningly and repeat what she said, lol.

I’d like to remind Alina (and LB) that a king in an absolutist monarchy (which is what Ravka appears to be) is very much a tyrant. Don’t make it sound like Ravka didn’t have a tyrant before. And at the very least, my boy Darkles seems pretty competent.

A man calling himself a Storm Dog likes dogs. No shit.

Chapter 6

I hate Mal. Dude, this is your girlfriend, maybe like... listen to her? Don’t bludgeon her with the one other guy she was kinda-sorta with, when you are a well known manwhore?

I don’t know man, I don’t like him.

Everyone: You can’t have more than one amplifier, it’s dangerous.

Alina: Haha, sparkles go brrrr

Chapter 7

In other news, pirates are funny.

Holy shit, they have a plane.

That was... a lot. And we’re crossing the Fold again, yay.

Chapter 8

You feel bad for the Volcra but not for the people you’ve left for dead in the Fold last time? Okay.

Baby Volcra. Am I supposed to say “ew” or “aww”? If I tried doing both at the same time, it would probably sound like one.

Jesus fucking Christ this book is a ride.

Did Alina really just have an “oh no, he’s hot?” moment? *sighs*

Puppy boy has a title longer than Daenerys, jesus.

Alina, my dear, you could have waited for a bit before doing that. There’s like thirty soldier with guns around you and you’ve just punched a prince.

Then again, you’ve never been smart, have you?

Chapter 9

For once, I completely agree with him. I know you two have lost your one shared braincell on that first crossing of the Fold but still, that was very dumb of you, Alina.

I’m starting to get why people were calling Nikolai “Darkling light”. Definitelly seems appropriate.

Mal, calm the fuck down, that was the least romantic proposal I’ve ever heard and you know it.

You two didn’t even let Alina get a word in for the last page. What right do you have to her, Mal, huh? Nikolai is making sense and you’re being an idiot.

What’s your deal Mal? What the fuck do you want?

And why in the hell are you the endgame love interest?

That’s an awful lot of guilt-tripping you’re doing there, Mal. No need to be pissy about it.

Chapter 10

The bones thing is definitelly yikes.

Saints, Mal, are you on your period or something? Alina doesn’t belong to you. Alina can make her own choices. Get a grip.

“You think I’m like the Darkling?” Yes. The Darkling isn’t all bad. You’re at war. No need to get your panties in a twist over a few fingers.

Oh, look, Alina has a cult now, nice.

Chapter 11

Your “dad” is a rapist, Nikolai. Quite possibly a pedo. He got exactly what he deserved.

I’d go for the second option. Especially after that stunt. Jesus, you could have asked her beforehand.

At least Darkles had the decency to make out with her in private.

Also like... why is every single person in this series so far an asshole?

Chapter 12

We meet the King again, unfortunately.

Alina gets Darkles’s old job.

This should be a total disaster, but let’s see where it goes anyway.

Chapter 13

Alina’s nuts, yay.

(I know they have a Force-bond-thingy. I also know they did it before Reylo did.)

Chapter 14

Oh boy, Alina’s not doing as bad as I thought.

For the 100th time in this book, I wish I had Nikolai’s confidence. Though it is getting a bit too much.

Puppy boy is dropping some truth bombs. Nice.

But he doesn’t realize that my boy Darkles has very good reasons to not align with Fjerdans - a) they think he’s a demon and b) they want Grisha dead.

I’m not gonna say she was, but like... the monarchy is very much corrupt.

Oh, boy, Baghra. This one’s gonna go well.

Yep, Baghra’s as pleasant as ever.

So... Baghra’s plan in book 1 really had been to just have Alina run away and hope for the best? Jesus Christ, lady. I’m not saying she deserved to have her eyes taken away, but she is definitelly a trash person and I’m not surprised her son turned out the way he did.

Also, I’m fairly certain that Baghra is literally slowly killing herself - that the reason she looks so old and frail is because she’s started to supress her power and it’s literally killing her, because, you know, she’s bonkers old.

Chapter 15

Nerd Alina > Self-pitying Alina

Also, I’m just saying, Alina comments on Zoya being attractive a whole lot - I get that she’s meant to be insecure, but I’m interpreting it as her being gay, because I need some happiness in my life, okay?

Just kill the sleazy old Rasputin-wanna-be. There’s plenty of them to go around in this series.

Chapter 16

Vasily takes after his father in creep factor.

Why not the Darkling being courted by a horny prince? Be a bit creative.

Chapter 17

Nikolai has big ADHD energy and I love him for it. Fits right in with the heavily autism-coded Fabricators.

*sighs at heteronormativity again*

*sighs at improper gendering of titles*

Date night with Mal. This is gonna be a disaster, isn’t it?

Chapter 18

Fun night of cultural appropriation, yay.

I hate cultists.

LET. ALINA. GO. FERAL. Please.

You two are going to give me a headache, I swear.

Darkles cockblocking Alina. And Malice threw a tantrum. Nice.

Chapter 19

You’re way too harsh on Genya, Alina.

Horny Alina rights.

They have a laser, now. Cool. Or, well, enormously hot.

Mal is being a drunk a-hole. Great. When does he become likable? Does he ever?

Banter between Mal and Alina? Kinda weird, always somehow comes back to either of them being insecure.

Banter between Alina and Nikolai? I’m all for it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still a Darklina trash, but like... Nikolai is fun. I could see him and Alina having an arranged political marriage and ending up falling in love years into it, that’s all I’m saying.

Chapter 20

Just let this one go, Alina, please. You two are not working out. Please, end it with him. You’ll both probably be happier. (I’m saying this with the full knowledge that Malina is endgame).

Jesus Alina, get your shit together. You have every right to be mad, because you two didn’t actually break up, you didn’t kiss Nikolai and also, I don’t like Mal.

Sooo... when is Alina going to realize her manchild of a boyfriend is an amplifier?

Chapter 21

Alina has the horny sickness, lol.

Jesus Christ, girl, I don’t want to read your vaguely suicidal thoughts.

Mal, you fucking idiot.

Alina, stop defending Mal.

Chapter 22

Alina has a logical thought? Impossible.

Finally, some action.

Chapter 23

Oh, boi, this is going great.

Oh, boi, Alina’s having another martyr moment.

And, we’re done.

Finally.

That was a ride. Nothing really happens for like ten chapters and then everything happens in one and a half.

#shadow and bone #grishaverse #siege and storm #review #darklina #anti mal #I guess #reading binges like this yeet me right back into middle school

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goatsandgangsters · 3 years

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okay okay okay EPISODE 6. I’m still… out of fucking breath. from the last one.

I didn’t plan on live-blogging because then I’d have to keep pausing to type but actually I’m having too much fun, I guess I’m liveblogging now

my posts just keep getting longer and more and more incomprehensible

I forgot to mention in my last one, but it was a really good call to include the whole “west ravka wants to secede” plot line. it adds a lot, politically, and also adds a sense of urgency. whereas the book is a little bit like, the darkling is kind of a dumbass if you think about it because ALL HE HAD TO DO WAS WAIT LIKE 50 MORE YEARS, WHICH IS NOTHING IN THE GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS, but now there’s definitely like. political urgency and necessity that the books don’t convey to the same degree.

also adds a lot of dimension to What Happens At The End of The Book. which, I’m not there yet, episode-wise. but liiiiiiiiike.

BEN! BARNES! HAS! THE! RANGE! oh I love that they let him be lovesick and terrifying back-to-back like this, god he’s so fucking good. like, we all knew? we all knew this was a stroke of absolute casting genius? but god I don’t think we were actually capable of realizing To What Degree

oh god Inej looking at Alina I’m gonna CRY I actually got teary-eyed??

poor fedyor. he was planning so many double dates and then darklina had to go and breakup. (side note: I am SO INTRIGUED that the darkling thinks ivan is hilarious, so I just think the two “grumpy one/sunshine one” couples should go on a double date. get ravkan ice cream. why can’t this family ever have a funky fresh good time)

“I’ll never let go, helvar”

yo, real talk, why’s the darkling’s bed so short. dOES HE SLEEP WITH HIS LEGS DANGLING OFF THE END. this furniture is absolutely not proportionate to his height at all.

also it’s interesting how often he calls her “miss starkov” instead of alina, considering in the book he’s like “hello alina, how are you alina, alina how is alina today, alina I’ve seen what you truly are alina, FINE alina MAKE alina ME alina YOUR alina.” I’m pretty sure when I first read shadow and bone, literally the only reason I learned alina’s name is because he kept saying it

FASCINATING, CANON ZOYA/DARKLING???????????? honestly don’t know if I like that??? I prefer to think that he has not gotten laid in a couple hundred years because he’s just bad at being a person and isn’t actually as slick as he thinks he is. I cannot believe they un-canoned Zoya/Mal and canon’d this, UNEXPECTED. feels weird.

on the plus side, I genuinely want a polycule of a solid half the trilogy characters and I guess it’s getting more canon by the minute! this is zoya and her girlfriend alina and alina’s three boyfriends mal, darkling comma the, and nikolai, who are also or have been zoya’s boyfriends at one point or another plus alina’s girlfriend genya who is also zoya’s girlfriend genya and genya’s boyfriend david” I’m allowed a seven-person polyship right?

fedyor and ivan go on double dates with the seven-person polycule. it’s a really tight booth in restaurants.

also this is zoya’s ex-girlfriend nina who sometimes visits from ketterdam and brings her boyfriend and her girlfriend, and her girlfriend’s boyfriend, and his boyfriend, and his boyfriend.

AND THEN THEY ALL GET BRUNCH, THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT

baghra can come too but only because she likes getting day-drunk on mimosas with nikolai and bITCHING with him

god I miss brunch. and friendship. and cocktails. and human contact.

anyway back to actually watching this episode

I really like that Alina is about 10x more Actively Involved in everything that happens to her vs. in the first book where she’s more along for the ride

it is emotionally a weird experience to see Mal get pelted with a water bottle and go YEAAH followed by aw nah, he doesn’t deserve that. There is A Mal in another universe who deserves to get pelted by 15 water bottles but it is not this Mal. This Mal can stay. Book Mal is on thin fucking ice and will be pelted with water bottles. But Show Mal is Valid and Allowed. god Archie’s SO FUCKING good. I CANNOT BELIEVE I’M HAVING SOFT FEELINGS ABOUT THIS BUT HERE WE ARE, LIFE IS FULL OF SURPRISES, such is archie’s power and he deserves praise

“Your powers don’t scare me” OHHHHHHH SUCH AN IMPROVEMENT THANK GODDDDDDD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT the FUCK I am having EMOTIONS over malina scenes

I LOVE NINA SO FUCKING MUCH. I love her endlessly giving Matthias a hard time. he deserves it. god I love HER SHE’S SO GOOD!!!!!!!!

ohhhhhh the MLEMS are FIIIIIGHTING

OHHHHHHHH THE EMO BOYS ARE FIIIIIIIGHTING

oh. my god. they stole the fuckin. they. okay but like, his horsies tho :(((((

KHDFGKSJDFHGSKDFJHGKH DAVID!!!!!! hkdfjhgdfkjghsdfhg d a v id. fjkdhgsdkjfhgdfh dddddaaavviiiiiiidddd. DAVID.

I absolutely love the thought of the darkling, ivan, and david hanging out, because it’s like the three least social people in all of ravka. and they absolutely LOVE one another’s company because no one talks, there is no small talk, and they can just SIT in SILENCE and it’s nICE. sometimes they make brief eye contact and nod a couple times and then go back to politely sitting in silence.

sdfjkghskhdf his disdainful little ~a d o r a b l e~ about mal and alina deeply resonates with my experiences of reading the books. though AGAIN, WEIRD TO BE HAVING FEELINGS NOW.

GOD SO NOW I HAVE TO DECIDE!!!!! IT’S SO FUCKING TEMPTING TO WATCH 7 AND 8 TOMORROW NIGHT. IT IS SO TEMPTING. THEN I CAN UNBLACKLIST IT AND REBLOG ALL THE GIFETS.

BUUUUUUUT I have a busy and hectic week and 7 and 8 would be a really nice treat to have waiting for me NEXT Friday as motivation to get through the week

But that also means I have to keep being vigilant about not looking at Content for another week AND IT’S REALLY HARD TO MAINTAIN THAT RESOLVE NOT TO LOOK

god I don’t know what to do. delayed gratification normally comes so naturally to me, this is an actual struggle. I thiiiiiink I’m gonna try and hold off because future!me will be grateful next friday. but mid-week me who wants to look at gifsets will be mad.

#it took me like two hours to watch because I kept pausing to liveblog #and go on tangents about polycules and brunch #I recognize that that was a BIG tangent but also like.#feel free to join me in 'everything is brunch and nothing hurts' world because it's nice there #I really want the enormous ravkan polycule and the enormous ketterdam polycule #and I will take ANY opportunity to talk about the single most important brotp in the entire grishaverse which is baghra and nikolai #it is not REMOTELY RELEVANT TO THIS EPISODE but I will TALK ABOUT IT #okay I think that's enough tags that it won't show up in tracked tags #grishaverse #shadow and bone

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callunavulgari · 3 years

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YEAR-IN-BOOKS | 2020

So. Last year I read 112 books. The year before that I read 89. The year before that I read 39. This year I have (thus far) read 87 books out of my goal of 75 and will likely at least one or two more before the end of the year. So, click below if you want rambly book recs!

1. a book you loved?

This year has been rough. Like, I’m looking back at the books I read in January and am genuinely horrified to realize that I read them a scant twelve months ago when it feels like I read them at least three years ago. I’m glad I kept my limit lower this year, because enjoying anything this year has been harder than usual. I did read some decent books though, and I think the one I loved the most was Gideon the Ninth (and it’s sequel, Harrow the Ninth). They’re both fantastic books, and so deeply unexpected. Reading the first chapter or so of Gideon’s book is like getting whiplash. You go into it expecting angsty lady necromancers and get a crossdressing bee that secretes hallucinogenic substances and pulsates in time to the music in your head. Literally, Gideon’s dialogue is so out of left field that I spent half the book delightedly confused. But it is genuinely funny? And lesbian necromancers in space is just.. such an underutilized concept. Harrow’s book was a little harder - her head space is weird and everything is intentionally fucking with you so you really are confused for 90% of it, but I think the pay off was more than worth it.

2. a book you hated?

I was deeply, DEEPLY disappointed by The Secret Commonwealth. I finished it near the end of January and was just so fucking mad for days. Because the thing is, my expectations were not super high. I was excited for it, mostly because a grown up version of Lyra is something that I thought I would only ever experience in fanfiction. Now, I wish I’d only experienced her in fanfiction. Graphic attempted rape, retroactively confirming a rape happened in a previous book (one where it was implied that the victim got away in time), retroactively raping a character from the previous trilogy... like. I’m sorry. But fuck that noise. Fuck Philip Pullman. Fuck any douchebag asshole who thinks a woman has to be raped in order to write compelling fiction. I was riding the high of the new HBO series (which was good) and I guess I just... thought the author would have some goddamn integrity.

3. a book that made you cry?

We Are Okay was a really gorgeous, tender little book about grief that I read in one sitting in my bed when I really should have been sleeping. I read this book in March, when things only kind of hurt for me. When things were still largely okay. Before the bulk of covid hit my side of the world. Before self-isolation was an every day thing, not just something in books. Before Mal. Before getting covid. But ultimately, this was a book about healing. It aches, yes, but it also soothes.

4. a book that made you happy?

Both Beach Read and Written in the Stars made me pretty happy. Both romcoms done right, the first is a book about a romance writer falling in love with a thriller/mystery writer. They’re staying at neighboring beach houses and spend a summer getting themselves out of their comfort zones by challenging the other to write in the other person’s chosen genre. It’s sweet. It’s sexy. Over all, a really fun read, with enough depths to keep me engaged.

The second book is a meet-cute that involves astrology, fake dating, and lesbians. It’s written phenomenally well, and gave me a brief surge of happiness when I needed it most.

5. the best sequel?

Probably Harrow. The Dragon Republic is a great second choice though. Again, it’s a hard book, and I wouldn’t have been able to read it any later in the year than I did, because it is... not a happy book. But it is, in my opinion, a good one. And I am still excited about the third.

6. most anticipated release for the new year?

I am hoping to get the as of yet Untitled sequel to Ninth House in 2021. I am also hoping to actually be able to read The Rhythms of War in the new year, since I doubt I’ll get a chance in 2020. I’m looking forward to Mister Impossible, the second book in the Ronan trilogy by Maggie Stiefvater. I’m looking forward to the Hourglass Throne, which I think is coming in 2021? A Desolation Called Peace in March. The Thorn of Emberlain might actually be out in October, which will be wonderful it doesn’t get pushed back again. Rule of Wolves, the King of Scars Duology in the Grishaverse will also be March. One Last Stop by Casey McQuistion in May!!!!

7. favorite new author?

Defintely Tamsyn Muir. I will also be keeping an eye out for Alexandriua Bellefleur’s stuff...

8. favorite book to film adaptation?

Uh, can I say MDSZ/The Untamed without actually having read the original text? Well, I’ve read a few chapters, but damn.

9. the most surprising book?

Taproot. It’s this little graphic novel about a gardener who can see ghosts. And like. It still makes me warm to think about how tender it is.

10. the most interesting villain?

Does Loki: Where Mischief Lies count? Since Loki is technically a villain, even if he’s only villain adjacent in this book.

11. the best makeouts?

I... don’t know? I didn’t real read any of these books for makeouts. Not this year.

12. a book that was super frustrating?

Boyfriend Material. It has great ratings! It has fake dating! But the story was very so-so for me.

13. a book you texted about, and the text was IN CAPSLOCK?

I think I yelled at Nick a few times about how pissed I was at the Secret Commonwealth.

14. a book for the small children in your life?

The House in the Cerulean Sea is a book about a case worker at the department in charge of magical youth and he is charged with traveling to an island and making a very important decision about the children living there. It was adorable and I wish I’d had a book like it when I was young.

15. a book you learned from?

That is not the sort of book that I was reading in 2020.

16. a book you wouldn’t normally try?

I read a couple mysteries. Some were good. Most made me remember why I don’t read mysteries.

17. a book with something magical in it?

Call Down the Hawk, because all of Maggie’s books are at least a little bit magical. And while this definitely didn’t hit quite the same vibes that the Raven Cycle did, it was still very, very good.

18. the best clothes?

Gideon the Ninth and Harrow the Ninth have the best goth aesthetic I have ever seen in a book. Also, The Invisible Life of Addie Larue, because Addie’s clothes always sounded cute and comfortable.

19. the most well-rounded characters?

The City We Became had some fantastic characters. It was really interesting to see Jemisin get out of her typical fantasy setting and this novel was so out of this world.

20. the best world-building?

Deeplight! It’s described as Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea meets Frankenstein and that is pretty accurate. Old gods that traversed the sea tore each other apart and now the world tries to get a hold of their corpses for amazing powers. It was really, really cool and probably the best book I could have chosen to read at the beach.

21. the worst world-building?

Eh. Most of the books I hated I didn’t keep reading this year.

22. a book with a good sidekick?

I really like all of the characters in the Tarot Sequence. There are some solid characters, even if there’s basically no women. Also Graceling.

23. the most insufferable narrator?

I was not a fan of The Mysterious Benedict Society, mostly because of the narrator. It was so boring and I quit halfway through.

24. a book you were excited to read for months beforehand?

Return of the Thief. Which... was still mostly good. But the ending felt lackluster for me. I may go back and reread the series and see if it feels more genuine after I’ve read them all together.

25. a book you picked up on a whim?

I literally picked up Written in the Stars because the cover was pretty and it looked like the romance was between two girls. And it did nooooot fail me.

26. a book that should be read in a foreign country?

Shrug emoji.

27. a book cassian andor would like?

I still don’t know what to make of this question.

28. a book gina linetti would like?

Shrug emoji.

29. your favorite cover art?

Gideon and Harrow, honestly. I also really liked Under the Udala Trees.

30. a book you read in translation?

I genuinely don’t know.

31. a book from another century?

Teeeeechnically The Great Hunt?

32. a book you reread?

I reread the Diviners and the Captive Prince series near the beginning of the year. They were still delightful.

33. a book you’re dying to talk about, and why?

Into the Drowning Deep was fucking amazing. I love Mira Grant’s work anyway and there’s this scene where a character pilots a submersible into the Marianas Trench and experiences your first face-to-face encounters with the sirens and like. AHHHHHHHHHH. It was so spooky and beautiful and just genuinely amazing.

TLDR; 2020 sucked, most books still couldn’t pierce through the depression, but there were a few bangers.

#heather says what #new year's memes #2020 #books to read #recommendations #fuck yeah recs!!

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askauradonprep · 6 years

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Descendants Book Read Along - Isle of the Lost. Chapter 7

- Carlos is inviting people by making up stuff Mal will do to people if they don’t come. He’s only going along with it because of his low social status on the Isle. I am DYING LAUGHING. He has to MAKE UP stuff Mal will do to scare people into coming. I get Mal can be genuinely intimidating but he has to come up with stuff like Mal banning people from the streets.

- On that note - Carlos. HONEY. That trick didn’t work. A) It was Maleficent who did that. B) That ban was never enforced. Okay, fine, most people don’t know that and think Evie was just allowed to leave. But she just WALKED OUT. There was no special permission! I mean, granted, he’s saying this to the Gastons, Le Fou and easily intimidated first years. So, like, probably not the most observant and cerebral people in the world. Plus, since apparently all you need in this place to win is a high charisma roll, I can believe people thinking she can do that until they get banned and realize Mal can’t enforce it at all. He even SAYS in his narration he’s exaggerating. I guess so people will believe it by force of acting. I just...I love this. Mal is a PUNK and Maleficent is flattering herself highly calling herself queen.

- The waters around the Isle are infested with alligators.

- Carlos and Le Fou Deux are lab partners in Unnatural Biology.

- There’s something called Doomball nets in PE. The Gaston twins stuff each other in them.

- The best threat is probably the Slop thing. If there’s one thing mean teenagers do, it’s not let embarrassing nicknames and incidents slide. Plus, Mal’s already done it with Uma and ‘Shrimpy’ so there’s that.

- There’s an Anti-Social Club that’s planning a Foul Ball.

- Carlos isn’t the total bottom of the pecking order - he stuffed a first year in his locker (presumably - most bullies pick the kids locker to stuff them in if its a random kid). Apparently the word’s gotten around and Carlos is proud of himself for planning a cool party.

- Cruella tells her son he’s useless at everything but chores and also that he’s boring for just hanging out with electronics. Apparently Cruella knows how to enjoy herself. Carlos hopes that eventually she’ll see him as more than a live in servant who happens to be related to her.

- Cruella has lots of left over black and white stuff from her Dalmatian coat plans. Balloons and crepe paper and stuff. So Carlos is using that to decorate the now decrepit Hell Hall. He’s also repurposed her stuff, like rubber from chew toys, nylon from leashes and crates for bookshelves. She gets mad but he doesn’t care because he’s a scientist who needs materials. He considers himself a pragmatist and a scavenger.

- Harry and Jace Badun - the sons of Horace and Jasper - are helping him decorate. Carlos says they’re his second and third best friends. I imagine ‘friends’ is a ‘for lack of a better word’ term for most of the Isle, but its still cute.

- Nobody can stand up to Mal, eh? Funny. Evie did just by walking out of the cave. Heck, Jay and Carlos BOTH ignored her. Carlos just got intimidated by her. It’s a lot easier to believe with Mal though, I’ll give it that. It’s easy for a charismatic bully to control a high school. Much easier than an ineffective so called self proclaimed ‘Queen’. I still call some serious shenanigans on Maleficent.

- Harry and Jace try to act tougher and more competent than they are. Apparently their dads are back to loyal minion hood. Cruella forces Carlos to hang out with them. She picked his friends. She says minions > friends though. Much like I said - ‘for lack of a better word’ only.

- Carlos doesn’t have a first best friend. He wants a real friend for that, not someone who’s dad makes them hang out with him. </3 In any case, they all believe they’re doomed if Mal doesn’t like the party. She will be merciless in her bullying, true, but fortunately her bullying is mostly third grade stuff.

- Jace is taller than his dad, Jasper, who is already tall. So Jace is basically a giant I guess.

- Apparently any Isle party isn’t complete without a chandelier rope swing.

- They use rotary phones on the Isle. Neat! THESE ARE THE DETAILS I BOUGHT THESE BOOKS FOR.

- Diego is a singer in the Bad Apples. They’re looking for gigs. They sing out of tune and Diego rocks a black and white mohawk. I am crying, of course this crappy music is popular on the Isle.

- Carlos puts Jace on photo taking duty with a Polaroid camera and Harry gets to hand the guests their pictures.

- Jay brings cider, super spicy wings, devilled eggs, stinky cheese and withered grapes. I’m worried about the quality of the meat, eggs, and cheese, but it doesn’t seem too bad and he was stealing from the first ship, so hopefully it’s relatively fresh or just stuff that didn’t sell and hasn’t spoiled yet. Other than the grapes, it sounds decent. The cider is apparently made with sugar. Interesting. So they do have sugar, but only in alcoholic drinks made in the wharf. It says its made in the Isle so apparently the dock side knows its way around alcohol (makes sense - pirates).

- Guests arrive at midnight: Gaston twins (who always show up first to get first crack at the buffet table and because they have the largest feet, and who spend time head butting hellos and slamming pitchers of root beer - which has to be SMUGGLED into the Isle apparently), Harriet’s crew (who ‘maraud’ through doors), Drizella’s older daughters (who ‘beg’ not to be chased while clearly enjoying being chased by pirates and the twins), Anthony (who rolls his eyes at his cousins), Ginny Gothel (who brings a bushel of wormy apples for ‘bob for the wormiest apple’ ewwwww. Little Sammy Smee plays, btw).

- There is a dance off. I LOVE THESE CHILDREN.

- Mal shows up looking like a rock star in head to toe leather, with apparently smoke, neon, and sparkles in the background. Whaaaaaat. Her knock gets a lot of attention even though its not different. Somehow. Whatever. Nat 20 charisma I guess.

- Go away is the Isle’s traditional greeting. Relatable tbh.

- Carlos wants his mommy at the sight of Mal. Awwwwww, my poor baby.

#Ask Auradon reads #isle of the lost by Melissa de la Cruz #chapter 7

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andrieh-vitimus · 6 years

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Domagick.com Day 4, Mala madness and Dantalian

Day 4: April 5

The thing about situational change and alchemy, is that you must change even if the target is primarily someone else. Whether or not you are involved or not, the work itself is related to you. The work is merely the reflection of the light and this reflects back on you the magician or witch. No matter what you do, it always reflects back. Not in a stupid western karmic idea, no. It just rings different parts of your personality, IT gives you information about yourself, if you look. IT is never just do the magic and leave. Any results, even for clients, makes you ring part of yourself. Now, for someone who believes that all parts even the bad are equally valid this is ok. Although it is little different.

So I got the gifted mala, this is a similiar mala from the vendor ( the picture links to their etsy, no they didn’t pay me, it just that awesome). So this was a gift from Zac Lui, that I mentioned a couple days ago. It arrived today.

Why NO this is not a picture of my mala.. hahaha. I don’t take pictures of magical talismans yo, for obvious reasons if they are for me. Here’s another secret about andrieh, I don’t share pictures of rituals till after the result has come about 🙂 Might seem weird that I actually have some protocols for staying silent. 🙂 Needless to say, I am fucking overwhelmed. Its quite nice.

I will break that rule here slightly. The combination of work with Dantalion and Ganesha involves a third piece of the work. I won’t say how we did this, but do the course of the fae work I have done, its possible to tranmografy a part of your essence, leaving it connected but possibly in the otherworld. That will all be in the fae magic book, and really even though it will be printed, it involves lots of fucking quests. Not the easy magic for lazy times. But it does make you a lot stronger magically speaking. It also makes it so EVERYThing can communicate via the signal… Which sounds great, but everything gets garbled for me because there is too much noise. Too many things in the signal mix so sometimes the essential message can not get through always, or at least it takes longer. Some of the work we are doing of spiritual healing has a side effect that muffles a lot of the noise. Usually, I just block it out even though I am very talented shaman, most spiritual messages are just not very relevant. They are noise. Neither do they impart something the spirits need from you, nor do they impart lessons, or advice. They are radio signals we interpret based on our own cognitive structures. We are the receiver and transmitter. When things are good, this becomes a self-fulfilling stream ( usually the advice you need is not what is easy to hear), and when its bad it can become an echo chamber. Neither of those you want. But part of the work acts as to muffle that, so the essential messages are more easily heard as a side effect. Rest assured, I will put that in the fae book, even though its not fae magic. I think a lot more people who actually have magical abilities (versus psychological model magic), have a similiar issue of the muffling effect. IT turns out that my natural muffling is WAY better then the side effect of the work. Its too good. The work itself has forced me to look at how I am muffling the stray signals, as a consequence not as the primary work. See that MIRROR effect of doing the work. All rituals are opportunities to learn new magic.

I firmly believe its better to do this in ritual anyway, then hear the spirits all the time. I have to re-assess that a bit, although not 100%… maybe I back it down to 80 or 90% 🙂

So I had to work till 1 am cause server fixing stuff, and thats what you do…. so I was trying to go play some video games but unfortunately the games I really like take a few hours…. so I was playing and lost ( a nuke storm killed me) and just didn’t start ritual until 4 am and people were at the house. Dantalion was further sorta teaching and going on the power of forgetting and by forgetting he means NEURAL degrading… or neural repatterining.. Literally work the magic against the neural pathways, and then thats a lower level inception… that then the cognitive structure has. Think about that healing as decay.

So then I used the mala for the first time. WOH… very different feel. I could not get through 1 japa mal of the mantra. Then again it was 5 am when I started. But the mala is very interesting effect. The mantra already is hitting much harder.

I start with a prayer and some chakra work.

So you can see what I do for the chakra work here. Then I do the prayer.

Lord Ganesh, I am not properly attuned to this Mantra. By your grace, my this mantra work in the way I know it can. I know I can not attune to this properly, but through your grace may it have the impact it is capable of.

Ok I am not for memorization but Ganesh gets what I am asking for. Now, with the mala, it is still very potent but very different. I was using my rose quartz mala for this and it would hit very hard. This one, is more of a ramp up, things changing and rippling below the surface, and then smoothing. Mala in my experience work with different stones in different ways, thats not in books either. For a Ganesh that is very about the unmanifested and going from darkness into light, this works and I have been seeing real movement, at least mentally.

Results Report

We are already seeing some tangible results end stop with the situation, but it is frustrating. You’d like to be one in one day, but thats not possible. Clients reading this, should understand this. Want these kinda of results, I have spent oh about 6/7 hours on this ( multiple that times a few people). Now that said, I have also seen some MASSIVE movement from our test case, massive life changes for our trial case of the spiritual healing. This work seems to take about 1 month to see progress. That is very good timing. Usually shit takes longer. I suspect the forced muffling, reduces the spiritual inertia caused by our own subconscious minds attachment. This last point is something to actually research more fully.

Domagick.com Day 4, Mala madness and Dantalian was originally published on Andrieh Vitimus

#domagick #self-change

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noentiendo-nada · 5 years

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más 2017

April 19, 2017 at 11:51 pm

Hay días en los que me acuesto a dormir y estoy tan felíz y tan agradecida que sólo puedo llorar

No se ni cómo manejarlo, solo sé que estoy demasiado agradecida y que esto es magia y gloria y amor

Gracias

April 22, 2017

I will not blame

You for the bad decisions you make in my dreams

I will not get mad at you about everything when i am only really mad at you about one thing

April 29, 2017

Muerte subita

Por que? Por que yo te diria "nooooo quedate"???

May 2, 2017

Yo: "hoy me voy a acostar temprano por que ME LO MEREZCO"

Yo, acostada lista para dormir: "si me lo merezco verdad?"

**saca los libros y sigue estudiando**

May 7, 2017

People will tell you that you deserve a guy who....

But you don't

Nadie es mas importante que unl mismo

Nadie va a hacer eso por uno

And that's okay

May 11, 2017

Estoy viendo a unas muchachas amigas en dennys que vinieron a comer hamburguesas y papas!!! No son de esas amigas de "ensalada" y esas mierdas!!! 😍😍😍

When did you stop caring?

When did you stpo noticing?

May 12, 2017

No tiene ue pagar miles de dolares para alejarme.. ya lo logro

// cuando mami me exilió a mi cuarto a estudiar (en vez de estudiar en la mesa) me dijo que estaba pagando miles de dólares para remodelar la casa.. esta fue mi respuesta por dentro

May 13, 2017

Que rajado que aveces uno se guarda demasiado las ganas de llorar.. venía así como desde el domingo pasado, como que me daban ganas ocasionalmente de la nada pero la situación no me permitía desahogarme, y siempre pensaba "cuando llegue a la casa"

Luebo iba sola en el carro o llegaba a la casa pero tenía cosas que hacer y no podía sacar el tiempo, o justo antes de dormir prefería descansar que ponerme a pensar en las mil cosas que me estaban afectando

Y ayer llegue finalmente a mi casa despues de un largo día y mi mamá dijo que iba a contratar una diseñadora para la casa, que ibamos a cambiar todo

Y que iba a cambiar la luz del comedor, por que "la ODIA", la luz con la que estudio todos los días, la luz que pusieron para mí, por mi bien, por mis estudios, para no tener que estudiar encerrada en el cuarto sino en la mesa, en un área común. Ya que es algo de todos los días a toda hora cuando estoy en la casa jajaja

Se imaginan pasar todo el tiempo que paso en esa mesa, encerrada en mi cuarto para poder tener buena luz?

Si ahora comparto poco o casi nada con mi familia, si no estudiara en esa mesa sólo los vería en actividades familiares, una o dos veces al mes

Además ELLA NUNCA ESTÁ AHÍ. En esa mesa. A ella le llevan/se lleva su comida a su cuarto. A mi hermana le da igual. La luz se puede graduar para no ser tan fuerte. No es tan terrible

Pero di equis. Enciérrate Ale, deporsi a nadie le importaba

https://medium.com/personal-growth/practicing-the-subtle-art-of-detachment-b3f94b91fcf2

May 15, 2017

Hoy en serio me distraje, me olvide de todos los problemas y situaciones y no pense en nada mas que en TI. 💘 gracias por hacerme olvidar

May 22, 2017 (11:18 pm)

No se como uno se puede dormir así

May 28, 2017

Ojala gaby y camacho me sigan invitando a hacer cosas cuando dani no este

June 2, 2017

Ayer me rei tanto con daniel r 🍭🍭🍭 en medio de todo, desahogarse llorando o desahogarse riendose. Es necesario

June 6, 2017

No es por desearle el mal a nadie pero me encantaría ver a un carro irse en la cuneta de la entrada a la 27

June 9, 2017

De todas las cosas que se podia meter por que putas escogio una yuca??? Toda aspera mae ouch

June 11, 2017

Yo solo quiero que te cuides

Porque algun dia ya no voy a estar para cuidarte

June 30, 2017

"Oh how I wanted to say that I missed him.

How I wanted to call him and start a stupid conversation the way we used to do. How I wanted to ask him something ridiculous like did he like cats, like what did he think of the colour blue, like did he still love me, like did he ever? Did he ever love me at all?

And how I wanted to sit on his bed and rest my head on his chest and listen to the sound of his heartbeat. Or sit on the floor of his room and let him kiss me and let him kiss me and let him kiss me again.

Or, oh, how I wanted to go back to the beginning, to the first day when he approached me. How I wanted to leave so he’d never told me his name and I’d never told him mine.”

“I want you to know that -

i. It doesn’t matter that we ended. Life moves on. People forget. Friends become strangers. The ones that you love(d) change.

ii. That doesn’t mean I didn’t love you. I did. In my own convoluted, messy way. I did.

iii. I’m sorry I couldn’t heal the wounds in your chest, I tried. I’m sorry for creating them. I never knew that I was capable of hurting anyone like that until I hurt you.

iv. But… I know that war is never one sided. Sometimes, sometimes I feel like I lost a limb in that battle too.

v. When it comes down to it, I’m grateful for our moments of silence, our moments of peace, interspersed with laughter. I’m grateful for your kindness.

vi. Maybe I’ll never stop writing about you.

vii. But you should probably stop reading what I write.

viii. The truth is that some nights I still feel unbearable. But I’m getting there, I’m getting there. Most days now, I feel alright.”

Sue Zhao // A Letter (via blossom fully)

“I hope we last. I hope we do.

But if we don’t, this is how I want you to remember me:

I want you to remember me curled up, listening to the sound of your heartbeat and tracing maps across your skin. Remember me laughing at your jokes, even the stupid ones. Remember me in hysterics for absolutely no reason and in tears because one time you made me so sad neither of us thought I’d recover. Remember me brave, that time you held my hand and I thought I was going to die; remember me scared and gentle and delicate and breakable - only for you though, only for you.

Remember me happy, and all the ridiculous ways I tried to get your attention. Remember the way I was too stubborn to talk to you and how absolutely insane it drove the both of us. Remember all the firsts and how they were so delightful we went back for seconds and thirds and fourths. Remember the songs you couldn’t stop listening to and the childish dreams you allowed yourself about the future. If it’s any consolation I allowed myself to have them too.

If it comes to it I don’t want you to remember the ending.

Remember the beginning. Remember the first time you knew.

”

S.Z. // Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #132 (via blossom fully)

July 5, 2017

Te hice enojar. No era mi intencion.. la verdsd debi pensar mejor que decir y como decirlo para que no lo interpretaras mal. Pero too late. En serio no era mi intencion

Me encontre las vans negras del cole, cuando me las compre te enojadte y me

Dijiste que tu habias querido comprarte unas.. conectados siempre

Te acuerdas cuando me compre el bulto hurley blanco y celeste con rayas rojas? Y tu como 🙄 ALE, yo lo queria!!!! Ji

Se me olvido contarte que en la presentacion antes de salir dijeron "mierda mierda mierda!" Como

Cuando antes de un partido uno grita "I C S!!" Como "VAMOS EQUIPO"!! Pero era "mierda!!!"

July 11, 2017

Ayer soñe que iba al super y compraba muchas cosas, gastaba mucha plata

Luego mami volvia a ir y otravez compraba muchas cosas (yo le echaba mas al carrito)

Compraba un powerade y algo de shrek no se si eran galletas o cereal

Se iba la luz en el super era todo raro

Mami cortaba una maceta y habian pinturas de uñas, una de escarcha azul super pola pero yo la queria y me la compre

Y la rata nos daba ride a la casa de majo (no se con quien estaba yo - o no se si ibamos majo y yo para la casa de kris)

NO PUEDO FUCKING DORMIR

July 19, 2017

Nunca me enseñaste a chiflar

July 21, 2017 at 2:30 am

Nos vwmos mañana?? O la cago? Mejor no?

Carol

// un día que fui a la calle con Emi apenas volvió de Aus

July 21, 2017 at 2:46 am

Hola

Hoy estaba haciendo la tipica voz que uno hace cuando imita a alguien y luego tuve que explicar lo que tu haces con las manillas cuando me estas imitando a mi jajajaja

Baile demasiado con michi

La pase muy bien y muy mal

Bien porque la musica era muy muy vieja tipo "ven bailalo" y wow baile dem. Estaban maria y las amigas y wow.

Mal porque sabia que estaba aparentando que la estaba pasando rajado cuando en realidad.. Solo queria venirme a mi casa a llorar

Kissies

Night

July 21, 2017 at 1:34 pm

Que hay que hacer para tener un numero como 800 alejandra??

Que jeta que se fuera tanto tiempo

Porque ahorita estamos hablando y siento que no ha pasado ni un dia

Todo sigue exactamente igual

/(emi <3 )

July 29, 2017

Te dedico one man can change the world

Viendo twitter

El cursor parpadea

Y no se que escribir

No era que me ibas a avisar?

Solo quiero sentir algo

Es porque usted odia las despedidas? Entonces lo mas facil era solo desaparecer sin decir nada?

Pero no era que me ibas a avisar? Me lo dijiste demasiadas veces

It's ok ya lo habiamos hablado muchas veces. Entiendo esto

Pero no me lo esperaba así

Siempre me contabas historias de los raperos

Eso me gustaba

COLECCIÓN DE GLOBOS DE AGUA

Route 66

Las vegas

Vikingo

Tinkerbell

Roatan

Hollywood

GREAT BARRIER REEF

Lapa

Pinocchio

Roma

Lucca

Santa

Reno

Aruba

Milano

Punta arenas chile

Cinque terre

The cat in the hat

Pez

Elefante

Venezia

August 8, 2017

Viernes qe sali a vacas

Sali del examen y multi a comprar las entradas mcflurry fume

Sola camine por ahi jajajaj

Lleguee en uber a vertigo, llegaron fede coco y pau, fyaahh cansado pero tuanis

Sabado

Castillo con chaluteam, como en los viejos tiempos

Cenamos toda la familia de despedida de dani ❤️

Domingo

Nos levantamos supeerrr tempranooo, monteverde ❤️ llegamos hambrientos, caminataaa y fotos y vista rajada!! Fumamos dems jajaja oreos ychalus, vimos the avengers, siesta, shower, dormir deliciosoooo o o o 😍😍

Lunes nos costo dem levantarnos estaba deli :( desayuno PAQUE del hotel jajaja

Jueves

Vuelta, calle con em y los de indu

Santos con majo y nicky pecera jajaja.. equis la verdad. michi <3

Salimos a fumar y no nos dejaron entrar jajaj pleeebeyas

Viernes

Telas workout? Creo?

Maria a lindora por el famoso postre, luego a cenar con mami sake 😛Con majo caro y maria a la fiesta de mafu super tuanis honestly jajaja mica y fumaderaaa🤘🏽

Sabado

Orotina con kris nicky y majo. Majo en mi carro obveeoo ibamos fumandola bomba

Punta a mantas por la fucking marea jajaja almorzamos pitas capresse rajadassss fumamos en el atardecer, spot rajado que me enseño dani 😛😛 en la noche solo DORMIMOS jajaja

Domingo

Punta en el dia de nuevoo, pero llovio entonces nos devolvimos early. Igual estuvo delicioso!! Llegaron caro vale j y luci. Se fueron kris y nicky

Fuimos a punta a la casa de los amigos de pao. Tomamooosss mucho "montarse al bus" y shots de vainilla nombres

LUNES llegaron los anglos: jan, fede, fernandez, paul, beto. mica all day, cami y adri.. yo la pase increeeiblee la verdad ❤️ se quedaron a dormir

MARTES ellos jalaron temprano, las chicas fuimos a almorzar a jaco sushi deliciosooo y llegamos a la casa y no queriamos irnos jajaja la Estabamos pasando rajado.. increibles vacaciones

Miercoles..?

Telas

Jueves

Desayune saul con cami arce😛 escazu centro por maquillaje y varas. Pasarela LOZA con pau jimenezz estuvo vacilon.. los modelos jajaj

Salida de despedida de maria en santos, estuvo vacilon medio equis la verdad. Ary y nana 💘

Viernes

Workout👊🏽

Siestota

Calentamos donde vivi ramirez con #freeAnuel, FAUNA, casa los marin con tebi jajaja mica mica mica

Sabado

Yoga de un gomonnn jajaja

Siesta?

Macha paso por mi NO SABIA QUE PONERME!! Cumple cris vargas y fiesta daniel soto. Di me mori ranche la vida con baulaboy NUNCA me vuelvo a cruzar

Domingo

Di ni de goma jajaja lo vomite todo.. casa tito a visitar y cine magaly con pa y lari. Me

Dormi en el cine jajajaja 🙈 llegue a la casa a chillear un pichazo deli. Creeo que me

Empece dreamland?

Lunes acomodar cuarto, telas con PABLO😍y casa abue

Martes mandados y vueltas con abue. Casa depilar n shit y OROTINA con anglos, mica

Miercoles mica de dia y atardecer RAJADO vinieron juli luci y fa. Muchos durmieron toda la tarde jajaja y se fueron. A dormir ubilla vale j garcia y torta. Mica termino a las NUEVE AM OK

Jueves nos levantamos tarde ordenamos sol rajado, atardecer en mirador de jaco, vuelta silenciosa jajaja

August 23, 2017

Que banco ss ud

Si ellos alquilan

Situaciones economicas

Mala connotacion

Cuenta del indoor de los papas

Me senti como una spoiled brat

Lo aue me paso hoy en serio en el momento fue talvez un impulso pero realmente fui demasiado valiente de seguir con mi dia haciendo mis cosas aun despues de lo que paso

/ se me pasó la regla Y ANDUVE ASÍ POR TODA LA BIBLIOTECA SIN SABER y tenía presentación. SHIT.

September 8, 2017

Alejandra fosas de frijol

Chica wow

Por lastima

Rarear

Dj jeremyz

Efecto anteojo

(AVILA)

October 17, 2017

If I had it my way I'd roll out of bed

Say bout 2:30 mid day

Hit the blunt then, hit you up to come over to my place

You show up right away

We make love and then we fuck

And then you'd give me my space

October 28, 2017

Georgia on my mind

Hablar por teléfono >

- las empleadas

Me la paso encontrandote entre mis sueños

October 29, 2017

finally found the love i was looking for tucked between my own ribs

Hablar llorar enfrentar.. sounds like you just pulled up to liberation station

November 3, 2017

Dar la mano si es un big deal

Ayer estaba demasiado tapiz, la estaba pasando demsiado bien, a mela la recogieron los papas e ibamos el, yo y dos amigos en el carro de el porque nos iba a dar ride a todos. Y le agarre la mano.

Como si fuera lo mas normal del mundo, ibamos caminando al carro y le agarre la mano y caminamos asi y yo en el momento ni pense en eso, solo lo hice. Fue lo mas normal y natural del mundo

Y luego me dijo, hey que cosi darme la mano cuando ibamos caminando al carro!!!

Y yo pense FUCK. Que es eso? Solo lo hice demasiado natural como.. como si fueras tu. Y me acurruco como si fueras tu. Dejo que me peinen y me chineen como si fueras tu. Que me abracen cuando estoy triste o estresada, que me traten de poner feliz.. como si fueras tu

Ahora quien me manda mensajes de suerte en el examen, audios preguntandome como estuvo mi dia, como me fue con tal cosa, que si ya vi tal cosa.. son otras personas. Son dos, tres, cuatro personas. Y aveces tu tambien estas ahi.. pero ahora eres otro

Yo no quiero que sean todos esos. Quiero que seas tu. Pero no asi.. asi solo siento que son un monton, que las historias que cuento estan regadas entre toda la gente con la que hablo, no hay una persona que conozca todos mis pensamientos e historias porque me reparto entre miles.. y eso esta bien, porque no dependo de solo una, pero.. no se

Llega al pubto que los confundo y luego no me acuerdo a quien le conte cual historia

No se.. solo es diferente y raro y shocking mirar atras y ver la diferencia

No se porque me ataque así

lo que me quedó de Girls Trip es que "You can't have it all" y que hay que buscarse unas buenas fichitas para sobrevivir. muy buena

November 4, 2017

Tu abuelita manda audios?

ultimamente me pasan cosas malas y me digo a mí misma: karma's a bitch

November 7, 2017

“el ser más despreciable de la geometría, el acutángulo”

November 8, 2017

Llore todo el vuelo viendo por la ventana

November 9, 2017

my man is my man is your man heard it's her man too

November 10, 2017

Abuelita esta borracha y dice: "estoy jumeada, que rico"

Si es alguien que me cae bien puedo hablar con el cagarme de risa y luego apretarmelo

Si no meda nada de que hablar la verdad paso jajajaja

November 14, 2017

mi amigo de la u en las últimas semanas:

"Ale, ¿a qué hora te dormiste anoche?"

"Wow Ale a ver sus ojeras"

Hoy me dijo: "Ale, ¿cuándo fue la última vez que dormiste bien?"

November 17, 2017

me tome esta foto porque voy manejando escuchando taylor swift viendo el atardecer un viernes con "clima de diciembre" sin planes sin carreras y con todo un fin de semana por delante...

Y es de esos momentos pelicula en los que todo esta bien por media hora y a uno se le olvida todo lo demas y si.. este es uno de esos.

queria guardar el momento

call it what you want

November 19, 2017

hoy conoci a alguien que ama tamto las oreos como yo

“solo porque pienso que aveces necesitas un recordatorio de que sos una buena persona y que alguien te quiere” - basurita en el ojo

November 25, 2017

Esa ogra estudiosa, yo le hablo y le hablo y no se distrae

“si hubiera perdido la billetera no hubiera malrideado porque perdi la billetera, hubiera malrideado porque no hubiera podido comer mcdonalds “

November 27, 2017

Me emborrache twntowue me tuve quevenir a mi cuarto a dormir y son las12:26

This was the year i didnt see coming

Told the moon i was sorry - this is now my time in the sun

El numero es... *voz del ICE*

/ Lista de amigos con los que hablo siempre:

Emi

Fede Lizano

Daniel R

Santi

Cheki

Tavo

Avila

Dani

November 30, 2017

Nada mas emocionante que cuando el crush eterno de toda la vida de uno le likea una foto jajajaja

December 1, 2017

Usted sabe lo que es llegar a un bar y pensar:

A guilas como ESAS llegaba mi NOVIO a apretarselas

Y a mi no me ha caido ni medio culo decente???

Usted se cago en mi vida

En mis salidas

Ya no puedo salir sin pensar que alguna de estas tierras se esta apretando a mi exnovio

Y que yo, por tener buenos standards, estoy aqui, llorando en el baño

FUCK

YOU

///

Y di ale para que ser normales si podemos ser diferente a los demás ❤️

December 2, 2017

Love u alita 😘 sos de la fam

- aldo, después de llamar a dq por FaceTime en una fiesta y pasármelo

December 3, 2017

jale pegados al parque de diversiones

de los conciertos más tuanis de mi vida y no me sabía ni la mitad de las canciones... ojalá hubiera nacido 10 años antes!! (Hombres G, Enanitos Verdes)

mi papá nos ha llevado a los conciertos que le gustan desde que tengo memoria y ayer me di cuenta que de eso se trata, compartir las cosas que nos hacen felices con las personas que nos hacen felices

compartiendo cosas que lo hacen felíz con las personas que lo hacen felíz #pagrus

December 14, 2017

Cuando jugabamos beerpong habia un momento de "pep talk" de vamos ale tu puedes

December 15, 2017

Ser tan honesta y mandarle:

Gracias a vos!! La pase rajado 😊

Jajaja la ale pegada quiere escribir: sean directas guilas!!! Digan lo que sienten sean ustedes mismas!!! (La ale consejera, como la que dijo "que rico decir lo que uno siente sin pensarlo tanto" - tambien estaba pegada?!)

Pero la otra parte es como: ale por ser vos misma es que sos una zorra y te estas apretando a todos. Cálmate

Nuñez - Pino - Daniel - Tavo

Honestamente cuando no me habló en todos estos dias yo pasaba re-leyendo las conversaciones, pensando "aun no me ha hablado :( "

Jaja y luego ecribi eso. “Si usted lo quisiera ya lo hubiera intentado.”

Porque me hace falta

Y yo misma me pregunte, en serio PARA QUÉ quiere que ke habke?!

December 18, 2017

“Eso cualquiera me lo puede dar

Prefiero esto mil veces” - ávila

Derek y la colonia jajajja

Escaleras el dia que fuimos al teatro jajaja ISH cuando nos volvimos a ver

Eso fue antes de enfermarme y los pañitos humedos

Si yo fuera gay a mi me gustarías vos

December 30, 2017

Sebastian y stefano sandino, los gemelos que son iguales a DQ

December 31, 2017

Te esperé

Y aquí termina la espera

#aleselvaq

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caladblog · 7 years

Photo

hO MY GOD i canNOT beLIEVE that i forgot about my favorite time of year, SHIPPING MARCH MADNESS!!

i didn’t cheat while filling out any of these, i haven’t looked at the standings yet or paid attention at all because basketball is not a sport that i comprehend or care about in the slightest. i’ll have an up-to-date bracket posted in a few minutes

serialized images = print comics, webcomics, & mangas

serialized A/V things = tv shows, cartoons, & podcasts

under the cut is an explanation of how to play, a key to the symbols i’ve used because i am either really bad or really good at shipping, and a list of ships if you can’t read my atrocious handwriting!

HOW TO PLAY:

step 1: go back in time til before the tournament started write out a list of 64 ships! i like to split mine into divisions based on media type, but you can split it up based on fandom, or sexuality, or anything you want. or you can just randomize this shit! the first rule of shipping march madness is always talk about shipping march madness, the second rule is there are no rules go nuts

step 2: rank the ships in each division from 1 (your hill to die on) to 16 (eh)

step 3: snag a blank bracket from somewhere and fill it out!

step 4: a ship is advanced to the next round when its corresponding team wins, a ship is eliminated when its corresponding team loses. basic bracket stuff, you know how this works

step 5: for the ship that wins the tournament, create something new! fanfic, art, video, fanmix, even just a nice post about why you care about this ship. it doesn’t have to be fancy, you don’t have to be “good” at “art” to play! hell, look at ME, this is my fourth year straight

that’s funny because so far all my winners have been femslash

SYMBOL KEY:

as i am very advanced in the shipping technologies (read: aromantic and not fully sure what a plain-ass relationship looks like tbh), i use a lot of symbols to specify what i mean in a particular ship.

[♥] and [/] = straight-up regular romance and/or sex

[♠] = hatesex

[♦] = kind of like a qpr? basically, these people care intensely about each other, put each other above everything, but it’s not romantic/sexual

please do not be put off by these two explanations from h.omestuck: general explanation & diamonds in particular

[symbol]/[symbol] = the relationship flips between the two types shown

[->] = unrequited feelings from the left about the right

[&] = not a ship, i just want to investigate the dynamic between these characters

LIST OF SHIPS BC MY HANDWRITING IS ATROCIOUS:

MOVIES feat. fury road, cap 2, pacific rim, repo! the genetic opera (shut up i know), the man from uncle, and the book of life:

1. toast/dag/cheedo 16. gaby/illya/napoleon 8. sam/nat 9. sam/bucky 5. furiosa/max 12. nat ♦ clint 4. mako/raleigh 13. amber sweet ♠ graverobber 6. angharad -> furiosa 11. nat & fury 3. furiosa/valkyrie 14. barbershop quartet 7. angharad/capable 10. sam/steve 2. tres leches 15. graverobber ♦ shilo

VIDEO GAMES feat. remember me, fire emblem, lifeline, portal, we know the devil, and oxenfree:

1. nilin ♠ olga 16. zelgius -> sephiran 8. caineghis/giffca 9. nailah/rafiel 5. tanith/sigrun 12. taylor/lifeline 4. chelldos 13. petrine ♠ naesala 6. nilin ♦ headache tommy 11. heather/nephenee 3. a new apple 14. clarissa/nona 7. ranulf/skrimir 10. leanne/naesala 2. oscar/kieran 15. shinon & titania -> greil

SERIALIZED IMAGES feat. loki: aoa, fma, widdershins, riverside extras, young avengers, ms. marvel (current run), angela: queen of hel, h.omestuck, harrow county, and snakeladders:

1. loki ♦ verity 16. dolcetto/roa/martel/greed 1.0 8. mal ♦ wolfe 9. nick ♠/♦ ophelia 5. amerikate 12. kamala/mike 4. sera/angela 13. sollux ♦ terezi 6. simon ♦ nick 11. ling/lanfan/greed 2.0 3. emmy/bernice 14. kamaria/crimefriend 7. olivier/miles/buccaneer 10. loki -> sigurd 2. simon ♥/♠ ophelia 15. olivier ♠ roy

SERIALIZED A/V THINGS feat. steven universe, elementary, archive 81, criminal minds, wolf 359, lucifox (how is this still on the list...), and atla:

1. pearl/rose 16. famethyst 8. joan ♠ moriarty 9. dan ♥/♠ clara 5. lapis ♠ jasper 12. garcia ♦ morgan 4. minkowski ♥/♠ lovelace 13. reid/prentiss/morgan 6. sherlock ♦ joan 11. maxwell ♦ jacobi 3. eiffel -> minkowski 14. mazikeen ♠ amenadiel 7. bell -> joan & sherlock 10. mai/ty lee/azula 2. yellow/blue/pink diamonds 15. pearl/mystery girl

#images #text posts #shipping march madness

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