#I don’t want to be scared anymore

[originalzinn]

I honestly hate who my mother raised me to be. I’ve spent my whole adult life trying to shed the shit she burdened me with. So much that I hate about myself I can trace back to her. I’m cautious because she needs everything just so. What if? Have you thought about? Have you tried everything else? Looked everywhere else? Maybe you should think about it more. I’m insecure and afraid to be myself because she judges, criticizes, and slut shames women that don’t conform to her ideal of the perfect woman. Women that take selfies are vapid and self obsessed. Femininity is shameful. Women should be tough. I only cared what men thought of me, not what I thought of them. Your dad is just so defensive. I don’t see why you can’t be friends with your ex, there’s no reason you can’t be friends.

#wasted my youth being terrified and caring what everyone else thinks #I don’t want to be a cog in the corporate patriarchal machine #I want to take chances without being terrified #I don’t want to be scared anymore #I want to be hot and have fun and dance and not care #I want to not care SO BADLY

[rozugold]

Cuddly clingy for the soul

#dream smp #painted illusions #c!tommy #c!tubbo #rozoodles #u don’t know how badly I wanted to draw them cuddling in the earlier comics #alas I was too scared #not anymore though it’s 2024 who cares

[emily-mooon]

Nordegrim Scream AU but they are instead Randy and Sidney and not the Ghostface duo

#a little twist I guess on the most common au #I did not even want to try drawing a background for this #I’m too tired for that shit #I’m very proud of the Stacey i drew in this piece #also I did my best drawing the blood splatter on the clothes it’s not the best but I tried #and #also don’t expect anymore art for this au cause I’m not a horror person I’m a chicken who likes watching comedies #anyways wish me luck in falling asleep tonight cause I watched scream in broad daylight and only now the scared shitless feelings appeared #scott pilgrim #scott pilgrim comic #scott pilgrim takes off #young neil #neil nordegraf #stacey pilgrim #nordegrim #scream au #adding these tags cause I don’t want to make someone uncomfortable #-> #cw blood #tw blood

[surrealsunset]

the sun always shines on TV

#hello charlotte #vent art #charlotte wiltshire #q84 #charlotte q84 #basically. this song is like. a microcosm of. what hello charlotte is to me #the music video especially gets the point across really well #it’s like i just don’t fucking know what’s real or not #i love so blindly with no direction but i do love and that’s what confuses and scares me #i have these…. masks. that’s all this is is masks. masking. performance #it is real. but it is also fake. and it’s so hard. it’s so fucking hard wearing a mask all the time #because i can’t take it off. i can’t. that’s why i love q84 so profoundly #the mask took over her fucking life. she has no idea who she is anymore #she was never someone who hurt people and now she is and she is FUUUCKED UP about it #but she’s too isolated and alone and unwilling to listen and proud to stop the hurt or the doomspiral or any of it #i feel like that. this gets at a profound generational scream of agony i feel from everyone around me #we’re just scared. we’re all scared. we are all mourning the loss of our sanity and begging for answers and nothing is working #something. idk #i’ve been thinking about this a lot clearly gkshf #it’s just… i just. i want a hug. i just want to hug a lot. that’s all. i think all we fucking want is a fucking hug. for god’s sKe

[skyedancer2006]

Oh god what’s going on in the utmv fandom rn-

#I’m just seeing a ton of posts about doxxing and pr0sh1pp1ng and I’m so confused and scared #I don’t want to know what’s happening #but some part of us does too #we aren’t even active in utmv anymore 😭 #not art #not art related #personal #personal post

[evansbby]

I cannot believe the wicked games Drabble was 5000 words long like basically a full ass fic and the low amount of notes it got…

#it makes my heart literally SINK like… #now how am I supposed to post wg4 which is 25k words???? #it will not get any interaction and I’m just done #like I just cannot post it #it’ll legit kill me 🥲🥲🥲🥲 to see it flop #after I poured my heart and soul into writing something so fucking long and making sure it was good #just bc I knew I had to give you guys something long and exciting to read #but what’s the point #like I cannot believe it… I literally just cannot believe it and I don’t want to post anything anymore #omfg #I know many people will read this and roll their eyes and find this annoying #like I’m complaining or whatever #honestly think what you want to think #I’m just so shocked and legit unhappy #like so fucking unhappy #like bummed the fuck out #that it’s come to this #I don’t wanna post shit anymore lol #idk if it’s the algorithm or genuinely people don’t fuck with my fics anymore #I just don’t understand #but you guys have to understand how it would kill me on the inside if I posted a 25k fic and it got next to no interaction #like I just…. #I’m scared it would make me quit writing completely #bc I’m THIS close #I feel so fucking sad bro idek #like it makes me wanna fucking cry #how… a few months ago everything was fine #now it feels like everyone’s gone #and I wasted my fucking time writing a chapter so fucking long that no one’s gonna read #WHY DID I WASTE MY TIME

[clonegirlie]

Reaction to Bad Batch S03 Ep14

I was so scared when the empire knew they were coming from the beginning 😭

Echo being a badass again is just everything, the real reason why they didn’t bring him back earlier was because everything would’ve been way more efficient

WE SAW THE ZILO BEAST!! I need to know if I’m not the only one thinking that Omega and the kids are going to connect with it and escape with that, cause that’s my theory

Definitively wasn’t expecting the Echo-Emerie teamwork but I’m here for it. And I love that Emerie has come to her senses and is going to help the kids scape

I’m scared for the ending but also so excited I can’t wait! Also I hope the last episode is an hour long cause I’m gonna lose it if it’s short, there’s to many things that need to happen!

#i’m really scared #also i don’t want it to end #i’m not prepared #i don’t think i’ll ever be tbh #also where’s tech?? #this isn’t funny anymore #i miss him so much #the bad batch #tbb spoilers #tbb season 3 spoilers #the bad batch season three spoilers

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

“they’re saying only 1% of people die of covid so why are you worried?” ok then. not looking at any sources, let’s go off that statistic for this post. note: we’ve lost over a million people and counting in the united states alone.

i’ve seen some estimates saying 10%-30% of people end up with continuing symptoms (fatigue, brain fog, etc) after the end of infection, which could mean tens of millions of people. however, if even only 2% had persisting symptoms and we go by that 1% death statistic, that could be 2 million people living with some form of long covid impacting their daily life.

don’t wanna listen about covid? ok, let’s compare it to another disease known for its lasting symptoms and its “long” form: polio.

polio could be asymptomatic, but symptoms presented as flu-like if there were any. all things considered, paralysis was rare in comparison to infection numbers. i’ve seen a lot of polio statistics, and some say only 1 in 1,000 (0.1%) polio cases resulted in paralysis, though this seems like a rough average between the three variants. still, there were tens of thousands of cases of poliomyelitis paralysis. 1952 alone had over 20,000 paralysis cases reported, and that’s one year of many polio outbreaks (the most well known u.s. outbreak was 1948/49-1952).

just because a percentage seems low does not mean the damage is minuscule. be knowledgeable about how information is being presented to you and what the actual impacts are. small numbers do not equal little harm.

#im so tired of people who don’t know shit about disease trying to talk about it #although the cdc is supposed to know things and they’re only spouting bullshit too so who fucking knows #sometimes i wish public policy went with the polio route of ‘scare the shit out of people about this disease to keep them safe’ #because the management right now is complete bullshit #anyway hi i spent years researching disease as a hobby and took an epidemiology class with a semester focusing on polio #i could compare covid to the spanish flu pandemic too but that would be another post #anyway im tired of this bullshit. viruses have the potential to wreak havoc on the body and covid is a prime example. the studies coming out #and the anecdotal experiences of many should be worrying to you and you should be avoiding it at all costs. you will not get lucky every #time against disease. knowledge is power especially when talking about disease #other source if y’all don’t think the research + study were enough and want me to have first hand experience seeing the disease progression: #my dad died of covid. i watched that disease wreak havoc on every part of his body as it progressed. it was absolutely terrifying and #exhausted his body to where his heart couldn’t keep up anymore. this isn’t a fucking cold #coronavirus #my post

[little-cereal-draws]

So I was thinking abt Ballister going straight for the throat in their training fights when he was younger and accidentally on purpose hurting a bunch of kids. The only way he knows how to fight is with his life at stake but that’s not conducive for a classroom setting. And then this happened

*the director brings young Bal to the queen to knock some sense into him bc she is at her wits end w this child*

Ballister: I hit Todd Sureblade today

Queen Valerin: you hit him??

Ballister: after I bit him

Queen Valerin: you BIT him. Ughh, Ballister, you know you can’t-

Ballister: people treat me different

Queen Valerin:

Queen Valerin: they just don’t know what to say

And now I’m crying

#also the director threatening to kick him out and send him back to the streets if he doesn’t stop scaring the other kids #he gets all sad and says ‘no! pls don’t! i won’t fight anymore I promise! i just want to train. i practiced… I practiced’ #now I’m sad #both those quotes are from lilo and stitch #Nimina #ballister boldheart #the director #queen valerin #nimona incorrect quotes

[jimmyspades]

#can this be a safe space to have a conversation. is anyone else scared he’s not gonna do anymore projects #on one hand he admittedly works to pay the bills (don’t we all!) and he made. a lot a LOT of money from TBL #on the other hand he is (also self-confessed) a spendthrift and cannot save money if his life depended on it #he said he blew through his blegal money in like two years lol. #he’s only 63 not even retirement age for the average person he very well could keep working! more movies! maybe another show! but will he 🥺 #I just miss seeing him….. someone write a play he really wants to do on broadway. stick him in white lotus s3. please jimmy #anyway. that concludes this morning’s procrastination while I’m at work

[gaylittleguys]

I hate it when people make posts or whatever like ‘ugh 🙄 I can’t believe I’m a MAN 🤢🤮 I grew up thinking I was woman and women are so great and pretty and I’m just a gross stinky man ew’ like ok. speak for yourself I love being a man it fucking rules. trans masculinity is awesome. you sound like you need to sort those feelings out for yourself dude.

#I feel like this was really pervasive when I was early in figuring out my gender #and sucks to see it’s still around lol #hey guys you don’t have to berate yourself for being a man to try and seem ‘no threatening’ or ‘not like those scary cis men’ it’s ok #same when people are like UGH I HATE being attracted to men smh 😔 sexuality isn’t a choice bc why would I have chosen being attracted to men #alright. #I love being attracted to men and I love being a guy #skill issue I guess #.doc #delete later #sorry I’m just annoyed #also this shit sucked to hear when I was figuring things out #same rhetoric that scares people off from taking testosterone #‘aaa you don’t want to take t it’ll make you scary and masculine :((((‘ #I don’t give a shit about not being a ‘pretty girl’ anymore I’m MUCH happier being a weird hairy guy #trans queer masculinity rules actually idk what to tell you #love you trans men love you gay/bi/queer men #and folks who are kind of men too

[sassmill]

Thinking back to the parking lot conversation I had with my coworker after I fully broke down and told her everything that has been going on at home and how I feel so fucking trapped because I can’t afford to leave and she compared it to intimate partner violence and it just. Sank in in a way that it hadn’t before. Like when my therapist told me to imagine if somebody treated the girl I babysit the way I was treated, would I think that was something to brush off or would I immediately report it? Just. Having somebody force you to view your struggles from another perspective is so powerful.

#to be clear I am not in any physical danger at home #it’s just psychological danger that I’ve been desensitized to and kept telling myself it wasn’t that bad #and that I should be grateful it wasn’t worse because I *could* be in physical danger #and was lucky enough not to be #I *could* have been kicked out and had to resort to living in my car #but I wasn’t #instead I’m told I’m welcome to stay and then guilt tripped over staying #get called lazy when I don’t do everything for everyone else and selfish the second I do anything for myself #I just can’t do it anymore #that’s only the tip of the iceberg but enough is enough #and I am scared shitless about how I’m going to manage it financially #but I have to move out it’s no longer just a want it is a necessity #eldest daughter syndrome

[sunnibits]

nah bc what does it say about my ofmd fandom experience that instead of being like ‘yay I’m excited to join a new fandom and make new friends!’ when it comes to bg3, I’m just like,, ‘god I hope it doesn’t turn out awful again’

#:/// izzy fixation hurt me too bad y’all 😭😭 #that shit fucked me up #tbh I do think the bg3 fandom vibes are just a little ick to me so far #but there is also some clouded judgement there I think. less optimism #the ofmd fandom experience was just so fucking shitty and exhausting and stupid #that like. to be fully honest??? I’m kind of scared to get involved in new fandoms now :// #not to be a pessimest but I swear nobody wants to have fun anymore they just wanna start discourse and complain about shit 😭😭 #and I really really don’t have the energy to deal with that again

[omarsimp]

#yr s3 spoilers #i don’t want to watch season 3 anymore ahaha #i’m so scared of the drug plot line #i just want my baby simon to be happy #but god i already know this scene is going to make me so emotional #like it’s the you’ve ruined my life scene #god why do i watch a drama when i hate drama #someone make a young royals spin off that is jsut fluff please #young royals

[dahldahlbills]

I really need to get serious about personal projects again

#I think I said something like this last year too lol #currently in a weird headspace about it #the biggest reason why I lost focus on them was bc I prioritized engaging in fandom #(something that I never really did when I was focused on publishing a few years back) #so part of me feels like in order to make considerable progress on projects again I need to cut myself off from fandom #and I kinda have been weening myself off a bit from animanga but not really for that reason #it was mostly bc I was getting overwhelmed by how much I was consuming and I wanted to appreciate things fully #I don’t think I’d cut myself off from fandom completely either I’d still try to keep up with stuff #but the idea of not engaging in fandom anymore kinda.. scares me? #idk I feel like a major loser admitting this lol #it just feels like I’d lose a lot of connections with people #and would lose a lot of the love I have for stories if I’m not actively interacting with them :( #and then there’s also that stupid feeling of being a ‘fake fan’ because I’m not dedicating every single second of free time to fandom #which is dumb bc like I have a life and need to make money yknow I got things to do #im just Stressed bc I’m at such a critical stage career wise and im getting closer to 26 so hhhhh healthcare coverage will be up in the air #so I really can’t afford to dawdle #there’s just so much I wanna do and while I’m not necessarily racing to get it done I still want to take advantage of the time I have #but it also sucks feeling like I’m giving up a part of myself to progress on another part of myself #I don’t think any of this makes sense sorry I just needed to dump my thoughts bc I am Terrified™️ #anyway personal projects! gotta get back to those ! #blahblahbills #delete later

[angelnumber27]

How do I violently throw myself back into making art and creating things

#my brain won’t let me it’s like im scared to make ugly things so I don’t want to try bc I’m not as practiced as before at all #and I can’t get in touch with my creativity like that light switch won’t turn on and I am not sure what to do #all I know is I need to force myself to start again and to allow myself to make mistakes #I can’t access the outlet I don’t feel inspired like I used to anymore and it sucks it feels like anhedonia