#I don't think I actually 100% KNEW that's what I was doing per se. but I do think some of my anxiety came from intentional doom spiralling

[high-voltage-rat]

Vyvanse is such a silly little drug. I get up at 11, take it at noon, what's a normal sleep phase I don't know her.

The first hour passes and I'm like "dude nothings happening except me getting sweaty and my heart's going a bit faster" and then I blink and it's another 2 hours later and I've just blitzed doing every chore available to me, organized all my shit for the day, read through 500 tumblr posts, watched some random-ass YouTube clips, and made myself food I don't want to eat because my appetite is suppressed but I know food consumption is a task. It's like all of my ADHD bullshit for the entire day happens at light speed over a few hours.

Then I sit down and can do The Big Task of the day for 5 hours or more and, unlike with a hyperfocus, can remain focused on it even after taking breaks to go do other stuff.

Then the end of the day hits and I'm tired and need to go to sleep but I still feel the Productivity Need so for some reason I watch 50 more "Educational" YouTube videos until it subsides and then finally fall asleep at 2am.

Like. Does it cure my ADHD? Absolutely not. Does it make me less chaotic? No. But does it allow me to consistently channel my ADHD energy productively? Oh, yeah. I'm not 100% sure that's what my doctors were going for when they prescribed it, but I gotta be honest I kinda love it.

#not video games #late nights with ali #nd blogging #actuallyADHD #I'm pretty sure my docs were intending for a bit more... how you say... stability? #but a lot of my ADHD traits don't go away. just the most important one- activation-based executive dysfunction #And honestly without that I think I like the way I function with the rest? usually anyway #If I'm in control of it. I love my hyperfocus. I love my bouncing around chaotically. I love being impulsively spontaneous #don't get me wrong. there are days where I do hate my adhd. when the emotional regulation problems kick in it's hell. #rejection sensitive dysphoria is a bitch. I can forget self care in lieu of 'more important' things. my working memory can fuck me over. #but in comparison to how I lived before medication? it's amazing. and I've learned to be fond of aspects of my disorder #and to live with the ones that are inconvenient. it's so nice honestly #I could do without the sweating and appetite suppression. but it is SO worth it to like my own mind again. #before I was diagnosed I knew I had it. so my only options were self medicating with caffiene and developing an anxiety disorder. #the thing that bypasses the dopamine-based activation is adrenaline-based activation #so I literally just. got so anxious about stuff I needed to do that it would trigger the adrenaline activation where dopamine failed me #I don't think I actually 100% KNEW that's what I was doing per se. but I do think some of my anxiety came from intentional doom spiralling #anyway moral of the story. Vyvanse helps with ADHD is some truly strange ways but at the end of the day it's a fucking miracle #New River Pharmaceuticals developers of lisdexamfetamine I am kissing you on the mouth

[writers-wrongs]

Could you write yandere headcanons for Arkham Riddler x male reader? If you don't do Arkham then BTAS?

sure thing! so far ive only played arkham knight (didnt realize it was the last installment til i was halfway through the plot) so thatll be where im drawing from

yandere!arkham!riddler x male!reader

-now, eddie is 100% bi (fight me), so hes not surprised when hes into a guy

-he is, however, surprised that hes actually romantically interested in someone enough to keep an eye on him as he navigates gotham

-this man... is interesting? and intelligent? that cant be possible, everyone but edward is a dribbling moron!

-but here you are, solving a few of the riddles hes placed around the city. he cant let you take the trophies, theyre for batman, but now hes certainly paying attention

-a few months after he first notices you, youre just go about your day when you notice a neon green question mark down an alley. another one of those trophies! might as well solve the puzzle, even if you dont get to keep it

-you solve the puzzle and go to try and grab the trophy, not expecting anything but a slight shock, but youre instead knocked to the ground from the voltage

-you wake up in default gothamite mode: tied to a chair in the middle of an empty room. of course, it had to happen eventually. soon, the riddler himself comes in to speak with you

-"good, youre awake. if i had to beat myself in chess again, id go completely insane"

-and he... sits down. sets up a chessboard on the table in front of you, and unties your hands. you play, mostly out of fear, and while you dont win, you get pretty close

-he looks shocked and excited, with a dash of smugness

-"i knew you were the one. second smartest man in gotham- right after me, of course"

-he explains to you that hes not going to kill you, just keep you ("i cant let that mind of yours make direct contact with the idiocy of gotham! your IQ will lower just by being around them!") and that he'll keep that mind of yours sharp

-how does he do this? puzzles. lots and lots of puzzles. hes a bit of a sadist, so the puzzles are mandatory if you want things like food. regardless of how you do, he'll keep you alive, but if you want anything more than the necessities, you better get good with puzzles

-he spends lots of time with you. he says its because youre the only interesting person in gotham, but its mostly because hes an incredibly lonely man. its hard being at the top, so he'll cling to anyone who can even get close to what he sees as his level

-he LOVES learning more about you. not that he didnt research you for months, but he could only gather so much information before kidnapping you. every conversation is like an interrogation

-in terms of affection, hes... interesting. if you earn your dinner, hes programming robots to serve as waiters and dusting off his green suit. i wouldnt call him a romantic, per se, but he certainly thinks of himself as such

-dont expect much in terms of physical affection, he takes a while to get to that point. hes the riddler, after all! hes above the need to cuddle! unless... if you need comfort, he supposes he can indulge you

-if you ever try to escape, he'll be furious. how dare you try and leave! how dare you assume hes dumb enough to not have planned for this! until you apologize, youre getting the bare necessities and no attention

-when you inevitably start to reciprocate, hes smug about it, but secretly ecstatic. he knows hes not the most charming guy around, but he managed to win over the second smartest guy in gotham. and isnt that all he really needs for companionship?

#writing the wrongs #riddler x reader #edward nygma x reader #yandere dc #yandere x reader #yandere writing #yandere edward nashton #edward nashton x reader #edward nygma #edw

[synergysilhouette]

I swear, they approached Disney's 100th anniversary film all wrong.

The best part about "Wish" were the easter eggs, and even those were hit-or-miss. The plot didn't scream fairy tale or Disney--and neither did the music; if I never knew this film was a Disney film, I'd say it was a company's first attempt at an animated film. As a first attempt, it's not bad, but as Disney's 62nd film and an ode to 100 years of business....I was heavily disappointed.

I've made posts about how this could've been another epic Disney film, but for this post, I wanna try another angle, with two different ways Disney could've approached this celebratory film.

Option 1: A parody. Looking at "Enchanted", AKA one of Disney's best live-action films, the movie makes fun of classic Disney tropes as well as paying homage to renaissance-era films, which at the time this movie came out, was Walt Disney Animation Studio's biggest successful period. A film about a naive animated soon-to-be princess who is banished to the real world discovers what she wants out of life, all while charming those around her. I'm not saying "Wish" needed to include the real world aspect, but having a parody about a princess (or prince) who comes off very early-Disney while still feeling modern and giving us Disney-esque tropes and a fun story would've been a great vibe. Imagine if Asha is naive and easily taken advantage of by King Magnifico, who teaches her magic and manipulates her into harming others, seeing her youth as a weakness ("Well, you're young. You don't know anything, really."). Imagine the story actually having her BE a fairy godmother, albeit in training, and she has to learn the price and limitations of wishes (very "Cinderella"-esque) and learning when to help and when not to help others. It'd be mature and magical at the same time! Plus I imagine Magnifico being a cross between Narissa and Gaston. Amaya would probably be non-existant or an admirer Magnifico uses.

Option 2: A cutting, modern take on a classic. While I'd rather have "Kingdom of the Sun," "The Emperor's New Groove" is a funny and irreverent story about a selfish Inca Emperor who's turned into a llama by his power-hungry advisor and must return to the palace while learning to care about others along the way. Kuzco, in contrast to most Disney protagonists (or most protagonists in kids/family films in general) starts off petty, untrustworthy, and self-centered, but these qualities also give way to cleverness and humor, something that most Disney heroes lack due to either their innocence, kindess, or seriousness. Kuzco continually comments on things around him with quips and remarks that go unnoticed by the general populace (thanks to breaking the 4th wall), and it got me thinking, what if Asha was like this--or better yet, Magnifico? What if Magnifico wasn't a villain per se, but a selfish and mean king who continually had pessimistic comments to make about this fantasy-esque kingdom he created and his airheaded inhabitants. Their growing dependence on him--as well as their happy-go-lucky attitudes make him constantly patronize and devalue them, and his attitude accidentally causes destruction for the kingdom. When Asha challenges his perspective and goes on an adventure to bring back his love for others (trauma does run deep for him), he learns that everyone has a wish worth granting, and that he shouldn't be so quick to look down on others because they still have the joy and innocence he lost. Plus the people of Rosas learn not to take advantage of others and appreciate the things they have. Magnifico being like a cross between Yzma and Kuzco would be a sight to behold, while Asha takes on more of a wise Pocahontas-type role.

I can't be the only one who thinks this was a better approach to "Wish" if they didn't want to do a typical epic film.

#disney #disney animation #the emperor's new groove #wish #enchanted #giselle #kuzco #disney princess

[purrincess-chat]

blue guitar boy + 2, 3, 5, 7, 8, 13, 18, 19, 25

have fuuunnnn answering

Rae, you glutton for punishment, you XD

Fair warning for those who maybe don't know the history here, this answer will be salty~

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

His relationship with Marinette was short lived and stripped of any meaningful content

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character

That he got off essentially with no punishment for LYING TO MARINETTE'S FACE and keeping secret that HE KNEW HER FUCKING IDENTITY and she doesn't even get mad at him for lying about it, and the narrative doesn't punish him for it either in any meaningful way. I mean, I was happy he had to leave for a while, but then him learning Mirakungfu is just ehhhh I'd have preferred he just never found out and left anyway to go travel with Jagged. I also hate that Jagged is canonically his dad/a deadbeat dad. I liked Jagged significantly more before that was canon, but after that being canon it kind of ruined his character for me ngl...

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

Not really a song-song per se, but I think of jacksepticeye's Night in the Woods playthrough when he's like "why is there always some douchebag with a guitar who's like 'I sing about my feelings cause I play guitar'" and that is always the first thing that comes to mind when I think about him. Also, since seeing the Barbie movie I think of that one scene with all the Kens playing guitar at the Barbies, and I love that movie so much for pointing out how cringy it is.

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

They make him more attractive when they draw him than he actually is in canon

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

Literally everything else XD People who have been here a long time know about birthdaygate. I hate that they pretend he is better than Adrien, I hate that they act like the love square is toxic and their ship should have been endgame, I hate that they take key traits from Adrien and give them to the blue boy in order to make him more interesting but then shit on Adrien and act like he's the worst character in the show and somehow a creep/abuser toward Marinette/LB while propping up the blue boy on a pedestal as if he's god's gift to the fandom, I hate that they excused away him lying to Marinette about knowing her identity and even praised him for it when literally a season prior to that they shit on Adrien for finding out in CB and not telling her when she just literally had no idea and never asked, but when blue boy gets asked point blank if he knows, he lied and somehow that was perfectly fine and acceptable and they were glad he finally did something selfish/for himself for once. Literally, every time I read a take by blue ship truthers, I feel like my braincells die.

13. What's an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot?

I don't have much of a reason for this, but I feel like he would sign off most of his messages with a peace sign ✌️

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

That one episode with Juleka wanting to model was kinda cute when he was encouraging her

19. How about a relationship they have in canon that you don't like?

Marinette~

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

Listen, for those that are like why so negative about the blue boy, Cat? What did he ever do to you? I want it to be known, that my first impression of him was very neutral. I didn't love or hate him. He was just okay. I thought he was a little bland, but I was open to seeing where he would go. The fandom 100% ruined him for me entirely. Canon helped later in S4 as I've already talked about, but it was mostly the fandom. Birthday spamming bitches. But when he first debuted, I just thought he was kinda meh, which was a crime apparently. But since then I've been more open with my disdain, so idgaf about it anymore. He's still mid imo.

Send me a character and some numbers

#cat replies #asks #ask game #blue one salt #blue boy salt

[aprillikesthings]

ONE MORE TONIGHT because I remember I really like this episode :D

s2 ep5 White Out

will I hit the image limit with this one

EDIT: nope I post it early by accident, which means I have to reblog it anyway.

damn right, and I love how often Entrapta mentions this--that all experiments/research end with you learning SOMEthing even if it's not what you were hoping/looking for

Anyway they're in an icy wasteland of sorts and Entrapta is researching some First Ones' stuff under the ice and also there's some kind of big worm-like monster outside. All before the intro music.

Does She-Ra not feel the cold or what

I refuse to screenshot Scorpia's attempt at asking out Catra it's too painful

I knew it was the same thing that fucked with the robots and She-Ra in Dryl!!

I love how I can remember that this episode is the one where Adora acted SUPER violent and then really dumb and drunk but I couldn't remember WHY

but yeah telling this to Catra was A Mistake

Entrapta: "also she got very floppy"

FLOPPY?!

Side note, but it makes sense Catra hates it up there more than Scorpia or Entrapta; cats have a higher body temperature than humans. But wait, scorpions are cold-blooded? Maybe Catra's just a whiner about being cold. (So am I.)

I mean yeah Catra's being a dick here BUT THEN:

It took me WAY too many times to get that literal split-second of her reaction to Adora's voice before she gets herself back under control. Her ears even do a wiggle.

Look I know they were setting us up for these two to be endgame the whole time. But it still amazes me how much they made it so, SO OBVIOUS in all these little ways they could've skipped and didn't. The little ear wiggle and her tiny moment of shock? They didn't have to put it there, and they did. They could've just made her immediate reaction fury or frustration. But nope.

And we see her eyes narrow in a really close-in shot, like she has to take a second and remember they're on opposite sides, before Catra turns around with her usual cocky expression.

but also look at Entrapta's face lol

I love it when they make her look just a little deranged. Because she is.

I do wonder the extent to which everyone else is like "why are these two so obsessed with each other" (I think people comment on that later?)

HOW AM I JUST NOW NOTICING THESE TWO ARE NARRATIVE FOILS they are, right? right?? or am I just reading too much into both of them having unrequited crushes

Bow: "You don't understand the forces you're messing with!" Entrapta: "I know! That's the fun of it!"

augh I couldn't get the shot of Catra's surprised face

yeah I'm probably gonna go over the image limit on this one

THAT'S NOT GOOD

oh boy

Virus!She-Ra: *tries to hurt her own friends* Catra: "This is the greatest thing that's ever happened" Virus!She-Ra: *hears her, turns around, and runs towards Catra*

BIG MISTAKE

I can't screenshot it, but holy shit you really see the degree to which She-Ra normally isn't trying to actually hurt Catra any more than necessary, because of how violent she is when she's possessed by the virus. Like, this version of her would in fact just straight-up stab Catra or chop off her head or something. Normally She-Ra settles for punches or self-defense--her goal isn't hurting Catra per se but trying to stop the harm she's doing.

But this version of She-Ra? Would do a murder, no problem

that is 100% an appropriate reaction!!

Anyway Scorpia manages to separate her from her sword, and Adora goes back to normal size and not possessed. And is out cold.

okay but did you mean for that to sound so suggestive, Catra? did you?? do you even KNOW??

(...did I just get a plot bunny for the kind of fic that would get me hate mail)

(I've written stuff with a major archive warning before and I could do it again)

speaking of ships eheheheheh

Poor Scorpia is just like "do we have to have your ex around even as a weapon" and is also I think just uncomfortable with how nasty Catra is being

But also Catra's face here is too good

I just imagine Hordak being like, "oh YOU'RE obsessed with the blonde girl, too??? And I thought Shadow Weaver had a problem."

Edit: guess who accidentally hit the wrong buttons on her keyboard and posted it. Anyway continued in the reblog.

#april rewatches spop #white out

[melanincholysworld]

Akainu x reader aloe aloe fruit 47 yr old part 1.

Err...I read the theory that Hibari might be Akainu's kid. Posting this before that's confirmed. It's not finished. Forgive me

You stood in the kitchen, preparing onigiri for lunch. You paused for a minute to look out the window. You were worried about your husband, the fleet admiral. He had been so obsessed with trying to catch this straw hat boy that you were worried about how it was affecting him mentally.

Your husband was always such a strong and prideful man. But you knew deep down in his heart, he had a soft aside. There was a cold spot underneath all that lava.

"Mom?" You turned around to see your son, Ash. Standing in the kitchen. "Oh sweetheart, lunch is almost ready." "Actually I was wondering, could I talk to you? It's about dad." Ash asked tentatively. You are a bit taken the back, but you didn't let that show. Your son had always been a very bright boy. Even though he was only 11 years old, you knew he was destined for greatness. But if there was one thing that always alluded him, it was his father. He wasn't afraid of his father, per se. However, he always seemed confused by him. He wanted to know more about him.

"Of course, what would you like to talk about?" Ash approached you with his head down. You wiped off your hands before running your fingers through his black hair.  "Does Dad not like us?" You could hear the sadness lingering in his voice. "What? Of course, your father likes us. What would make you think that he doesn't? Ash looked up at you. "He's almost never home anymore. And when he is, he always shuts himself away." You were gonna say something, but that's when you noticed the small burn on your son's arm.

Panicked, you reached out and grabbed your son by the wrist. "Sweetheart, what happened to your arm?!" Your son look down to embarrassed. "It was an accident...." "What do you mean?" "Fire doesn't hurt dad. He's strong. I just thought because I'm his son.... I was like him." You quickly use your devil fruit power, the power of the aloe aloe fruit, to heal his wound. "Why?" Ash looked dejected. "Because then I thought he would spend more time with me."

You pulled your son into a hug. You gave him a small kiss on his forehead. "Ash. You don't need powers to win your father's love. You don't need to do anything. Your father and I already love you so much." You paused before reaching over to grab one of the already prepared onigiri to hand to him. "You're perfect, just the way you are." Ash took a bite of his snack and you held his head to your chest. You'd have a talk with his father once he got home.

That night when Akainu came home, he sat on the edge of the futon while you rubbed his massive shoulders. "You seem stressed." You told him before pressing your lips onto his shoulder. "I'm fine." Akainu responded, stoic as ever. You kept thinking back to what ash said earlier on that day. You knew how much he really wanted to spend time with his father and you felt as though it was your duty as his mother to say something on his behalf. "Would you be so kind as to lend me your ear?" You asked. There is a moment of silence before he finally responded. "Of course." "Our son. He's growing up so fast. I'm worried you might be missing it." Akainu turned to you. You pull away and make your way back towards your side of the bed. "What I'm trying to say is I'd like for you to take Ash with you to marine headquarters. Show him what you do in the day, as fleet admiral."

"Marine Headquarters is no place for a child. I can't afford to watch him all day." Akainu responded. "You don't understand how important it is that I devote myself to the Navy. 100%." "And your devotion to this family?" You said, snapping your head back to look at him. "What about your devotion to us? If the Navy is your life, what does that make Ash and I?"

You turned away with your hand covering your heart. Taking in the deep breath you continued. "Your son burned himself today. He burned himself, trying to make you proud." Silence.  He wasn't angry. You would've felt it. After what seems like forever, you heard him laugh out a sigh. "Fine. I suppose I could make this work." Akainu said. You turned around with surprise. "But this won't be a fun father son outing. I expect him to be on his best behavior."

The next morning at the crack of dawn, Ash was off with his father. He was every bit as happy as he was nervous. It'd been so long since he had spent time with his father alone. Akainu was a giant to him. He couldn't help but wonder if or when he would be that size.

They arrived the gates of the HQ. Armed marines standing on each side. "Welcome, Fleet Admiral!" They all spoke in unison. Ash was astonished by how his father garnered respect.  Before they entered the building, Akainu turned and looked down at his son. "Listen here, boy." Ash looked up to meet his gaze. "Y-yes, sir." "This isn't an amusement park, understand? Inside the fortress, the fate of the world hangs the balance. I will not tolerate you acting out. I brought you here only because your mother asked. Don't make me regret this."

Ash looked, trying to hide the sad look on his face. "Yes, sir. I understand. "

#akainu sakazuki #one piece

[team-heavenly]

Chapter 22 - Climbing Sky Peak

Otherwise known as *rolls dice*

...Oh my God-

YEAH SURE WHY NOT!!

This post is going to begin a little a lot more differently than usual. Going in, I knew the Sky Peak arc was going to be a nightmare of text boxes. So I did a little experimenting and took a video of its introduction in Rotom's Cafe - click here to watch that before moving onward.

(Obligatory apologies for many potentially distracting things, including but not limited to: crooked pictures, cloudy lighting, the camera refocusing randomly, random hand cameos, and specks of dirt on the screen.)

I mean—

(I can’t seem to find the artist for this‚ if anyone happens to know who it is pls hmu so I can credit)

Exactly! Let's follow Rhydon's lead and head forth to check out this mountain-

...Er, right. I mean, the Cloudy Well. (Is this the pollution I was foreshadowing?)

Actually, the name feels reminiscent of a level from Spyro 🤔

Butseriouslythisissogodd*mnfunnyamythicalvillagefullOFONIXLMAAAAOOOO

Also don't worry about Team Frontier partially out of frame there, we'll get to them in a minute.

I've played this game for I don't know how many years now, and I literally only had this thought just now-

...But why didn't some flying Pokémon just bypass the ruined mountain pass? Sure, it's inaccessible to everyone else, but unless the entire peak was scorched earth, there's... really no reason for it to have become shrouded in mystery. 🤷‍♀️

Uh, I think that if you lead us on an arduous trek of one of the highest mountains on the continent only for us to arrive at the peak and go "haha just kidding, the treasure was the friendships we made along the way ^-^" I will actually kill you. FYI.

"Hey, Teresa? What do you think? Should we let Onix join us?"

*says no* *gets stuck in a recursive formula* *breaks the world*

...Just kidding, of course 😅

Team Heavenly is more or less prepared already, so of course my top priority is talking to the NPCs.

We... We can't request... a what?!

I have no idea why "rescue" is randomized like a dungeon name here. And in case you think this is a one-off:

??????????

I just thought the idea of a merchant Clefairy (actually he replaces Pelipper, but I digress) was so cute.

Ah and... Team Frontier... Oh man, where do I even begin?

Now, Jolteon is pretty fitting! I can especially see him with Breloom's style of speaking. He also ended up being a great asset in battles, so no complaints here.

So, let's address the Copperajah in the room. You must be wondering what the heck Deoxys is doing here. But clearly, he's the leader, right?

Wrong.

Don't ask how she took the throne. It's said she once razed an entire village with her fangs alone.

No, Deoxys is... a giggly space queen? Which might even be funnier than the phrase "Onix Village" 🤭

...Yeah, best of luck with that one, bud.

Because Onix is a very large Pokémon, I couldn't have anyone else on the team :( So it was just the three of us on this long, dreary trek.

The first section of Sky Peak Cloudy Well was dubbed "Significant Port." (I apparently didn't snap any pictures of the dungeon itself... whoops.)

But similar to this, the first floor was dead silent. No music. And it was snowing. Classic Mt. Silver creepypasta vibes.

Here's a fresh look at Teresa and Andrea's status, alongside Onix. Note the <100 HP despite being 11 levels higher than Andrea.

Onix wasn't bad, per se. She had Swords Dance, Megahorn, and Rock Blast, which is a heck of a combination tbh. That being said... this first dungeon was probably the hardest of them all in retrospect. At least half of that was due to Onix being super fragile, frequently getting OHKO'd by Aqua Jet of all things. (Yeah, Onix is 4x weak to water, but it's not like Aqua Jet is a very strong move.)

The other side of the difficulty coin was Furret and Blastoise both countering half the damage you dealt and, of course, Monster Houses galore. It got bad enough that I threw a Detect Band on Teresa, which did actually help me survive a future Monster House.

Has real big "WW1 Battlefield on Christmas Day" vibes. Lol, I'm sure this won't be an ominous sign of things to come, right?

(Spoiler: It Was.)

If you recall, there are ten station passes and clearings. Because of this, I'm throwing Sky Peak dungeon names into their own post, instead of stuffing them all in the guide. However, the guide itself will include a link to this "sub-guide." As we traverse each station pass, I'll highlight their titles in bold.

Speaking of, the Second Station Pass was known as Sandy Bay...

(Did you mean: Normandy Beach?! Okay yes technically a different war, but listen-)

And we got ambushed by Andrea's brothers and sisters 😭We BARELY made it out of this one, with Andrea hanging on by a thread. So I was ecstatic to pick up a Foe-Hold Orb... only to immediately lose it by spawning into a "mandatory" MH (i.e., in the same room as the stairs).

Okay folks, that's 30 images, so onwards to Part 2!

#pmd explorers #pokemon mystery dungeon #randomizer #post game #climbing sky peak #chapter 22

[sophieinwonderland]

My face when I see singlets post "plural positivity" stuff and actively discriminate against any non-traumagenic origins because they bought the sysmed stuff about plurality exclusively only being able to sprout from severe trauma and disorder and that any other notion is harmful: (o_o)

My face when non-traumagenic origins finally get 100% validated by the scientific community revealing how little those singlets knew and wiping away the system medicalist myth: :3(\

My face when the sysmeds will continue to paint forms of plurality as truly being DID/OSDD underneath, unhealthy coping mechanism or inherently disordered, maybe even accusing the researchers of failing to diagnose a dissociative or psychotic disorder: (o_o) I don't think it's ever going to end lol! I don't really care at this point I'm just living bruh. I'm glad I live in the age of the internet where I can connect to people with me and especially seeing blogs like yours that really deconstruct what it's like to be a parogenic system and wipe away some of the myths and misunderstandings.

As far as the system community goes... I don't think we need an end, per se. We just need a shift.

The point of scientific validation isn't to convince every single anti-endo. That would be unrealistic. I think we can convince many, but the rest... we can just get rid of. We keep informing singlets with actual science. We continue to keep the pressure on, and gradually shift the narrative to make it clear that anti-endos are spreading a bigoted anti-science ideology.

We can eventually ensure that they're received in these spaces the same way as anti-vaxxers or right-wing conspiracy theorists would be. It will take time, but it's doable. We don't need them completely eliminated. Just no longer relevant in the community and no longer a threat to the safety of systems.

But yeah, I totally agree on the last point! I absolutely love the privilege of being able to exist within the digital age. To have been able to reach out and connect with people. I never would have been able to do this at any other point in human history. I might still be seen as just an imaginary friend were it not for us finding the plural community.

This has been such an incredible experiences for us, and for myself in particular, and I owe it all to this community. And sometimes I might take for granted just how amazing it is that plurals have this platform to connect with other plurals all across the world when we've been isolated and forced into hiding throughout most of history.

#ask box #syscourse #endogenic #pro endo #pro endogenic #plural #plurality

[dandelion-wings]

Eula for the meme!

Sexuality Headcanon: I don't have strong headcanons here, but I tend to like her as a lesbian just because it's one more thing she'd struggle with in the context of being her family's heir.

Gender Headcanon: I don't really have one? Eula is probably the only of Mondstadt's nobles/psuedo-nobles/I am not actually clear on who is and isn't nobility here, the game contradicts itself in places, but, y'know, the Ragnvindr-Gunnhildr-Lawrence triad, who I don't read as being particularly attentive to and aware of how she's performing gender, outside of just in general performing a lot because I still think she is autistic and masking hard 90% of the time. But like, I think it's part of the overall mask rather than being something she's individually aware of, if that makes sense? She has to act in certain ways and the parts that her family probably tied to gender when they taught her don't really have those ties in her own head. I do not think it is something she cares about!

A ship I have with said character: Lisa/Jean/Eula (with or without Kaeya, I have two overlapping OT3s forming the OT4 here) is probably my dominant ship for her?

A BROTP I have with said character: Amber.

A NOTP I have with said character: I don't know that I have a NOTP per se, but like, I've seen the idea of an Eula/Diluc arranged marriage tossed around before and I think it would be fascinating but I would prefer it a lot as strictly non-romantic, I don't think I would like it as a 'they fall for each other' version.

A random headcanon: I think I've mentioned this before, but I headcanon that a lot of the Outriders joined the Reconnaissance Company when the corps broke up, and so to her she is "little Amber's friend" before anything else. They knew her when she was a stiff uncertain teenager their boss was mentoring, and so she can't be a scary Lawrence to them.

General Opinion over said character: I love her! The way she is written is very difficult for me to parse (and interpretations that work for me in one context fall apart sometimes in another) and I don't feel like Hoyo actually has a consistent internal characterization for her themselves, given the different ways she comes off in different quests and events. But I am 100% okay with picking up what they have and fitting it together the best I can and then running away with it. :>

#asked and answered #why not meme i guess #eula will have vengeance

[megaawkwardhuman]

oh boy this story buckle up

so small confession I didn't predict the queen's death per se?

like I didn't say oh the queen will die soon lol then she did it's more complicated than that? it's kinda hard to explain what happened exactly? (or at least I'm having trouble explaining it)

also disclaimer: my memory is kinda shit so take what I say with a grain of salt

sooooooo this all started last year when I ended up in possession of an overpriced deck of playing cards and didn't know what the fuck to do with them

I was talking about these cards in a discord vc and an online friend of mine (who is a witch) told me about cartomancy (I think that's how it's spelled) which is basically tarot but with playing cards

now I've always been interested in paranormal and witchy shit so the idea that I could tell the future with playing cards defiantly caught my attention plus I seriously had no idea what else to do with these cards

after she explained it a bit and sent me an article that had a chart with some common meanings for the cards I really wanted to jump in heads first so the next day I ended up dragging an irl friend of mine into testing this out

now the idea of asking questions to an object and getting answers wasn't new to me

in middle school my friends and I would ask the small milk cartons we'd get with our lunch questions then flip it (kinda like a milk magic 8-ball) and we'd mess around with other silly fortune telling things

so jumping into this we both thought it was just a fun little thing to fuck around plus we were only doing a yes or no spread (you pull one card positive meaning means yes negative means no)

for the most part we asked actual questions (will tomorrow be a good day? will I find love soon? etc etc) until my friend asked FOR SOME REASON will the queen of england die next year?

I don't fucking know WHY he asked this but he did and when we pulled the card and got a no

THEN MY DUMBASS ASKED IF SHE WOULD DIE SOONER AND IT SAID YES

now since we didn't know she was actually gonna die a few days later this we laughed our asses off thinking lol what a funny quirky turn of events but that's not gonna happen right? RIGHT!?

WELL CUT TO TWO DAYS LATER AAAAAND THE QUEEN'S FUCKING DEAD

to say we lost our shit is a bit of an understatement

so yeah I guess it was more we fucked around and found out and the queen was collateral damage???

the silver lining of all of this is that lead me to look more into cartomancy (yes I really did fuck around with PREDICTING THE FUTURE and didn't know that much about it other then the info my friend told me which wasn't much since she only knew vaguely about it cause she focused more on tarot yes I would 100% die in a horror film) and later tarot

I still have the deck of playing cards btw (after all of that they were finally worth the price lmao)

#there's discord screenshots of us losing our shit but I'm too lazy to find them rn #yeah I'm not the smartest lmao

[shallowrambles]

Going anon because this is a sensitive subject in fandom and I don't want to offend anyone.

I'm don't 100% agree but you inspired me to take a closer look at the Blood Brother ep. I've never seen it analyzed like that, and although your words bothered me, I think you had some good points. I don't think the fandom idealization of Benny is as bad as the fandom version of Sam, but your argument that similar forces are at work for both of them is really compelling.

I never really cared about Andrea, but everything you said has given me pause, but I think you might be right and the illusion in The Werther Project is a lot closer to the actual Benny we see on screen.

I love your take on Andrea, and I'm with you that it might've have been cooler and more of an unexpected twist to see her in purgatory instead during season 15! I love your brain!

Happy to give you something to ponder, then! It's sometimes fun to entertain the shadow selves of characters, and I think the treatment of Andrea Kormos toes the line of darkness and nihilism in a way that is often overlooked. :-)

TBF, I think all soldier-coded characters struggle with this. Michael, Dean, Cas, Mary, AU Charlie and others...struggle with this pretty often. It's not unique to his character per se. It's that old soldier-coded derealization. I feel like it's especially strong/most pronounced in the in child-raised soldiers, ones who've been raised/created to fight (Dean, Mary, Cas, Jack, etc).

///

But anyway, I like this angle because it compels me, not because I dislike any of the soldier-coded characters. After all, it's a bit unflattering to be a soldier, fighter, warrior, (cop, hunter, military, angel, etc etc etc) in the first place!

But the idealization of Benny feeds into the strange imho idealization of Purgatory, that "pure" is somehow a positive thing when it's applied to Dean-Cas (it almost-never is in SPN, and I don't think it is here either). I think the whole existence of Purgatory is a nod to the worst selves of the soldiers, that black-and-white mentality and "rigid code" that both Dean and Cas tend to fall into...as well as suicidality and checking out of the complexity of "civilian" life.

When Benny says he doesn't "fit" and he's no good here, he's embodying the soldier who goes back. It's alluded to with, "The guy who got out and then came back. Like an idiot." It's got a name: "The Back There Paradox."

Deployments, and especially combat deployments, were a place where we knew how to use the skills we had developed. What we did was significant...Life could be very simple while deployed; get up, do your job... Sure, it got boring and repetitive, but we knew how to do stuff and we knew where things were. It was familiar."

We see this too with Dark Kaia in season 14-15: " At least over there, I understood things -- the world, my place in it."

What I'm saying is that soldier-coded characters' rigid adherence to "rules" can be just as neurotic as Sam's moral relativism spirals. (Cas is super fascinating because he embodies both tendencies!)

Purgatory represents "unthinking war," where there's 24/7, 360-degree combat. It's the horrific bloodlust that many soldiers are often too ashamed to admit they're addicted to, what is often quoted as: should "stay overseas, unsaid." It's the secret shame veterans won't readily admit to but many understand and know all too well.

Dean even shows signs of this in his fantasy world in AU Michael's bar, with the fame he crows about here (14x10, Nihilism):

DEAN: What you got? PAMELA: (wiping Deans face) Worst part of working here is having to clean up the blood after some pissed-off monster busts in to kill you. DEAN: (smirking) Well, what can I say? I'm famous.

///

"Being exposed to the adrenaline and the fame associated with being a soldier creates a dangerous addiction. Many veterans that deployed to combat come back to the states and chase the high that they felt on the battlefield." x

///

The unusual thing with Dean and Cas, is that they each recognize the nihilistic soldier in each other...ranging at times from joyful nihilism to the suicidal sorrow that's all wrapped up with identity-as-soldier-"weapon" and seeing combat far too often. (THIS is the subtext that attracts so many veterans.)

But the thing that's different for them is that they're crazed to get each other out. Underlined in two separate throughlines in season 8 and 15.

This is a little bit echoed in Alt Mary and Alt John, who also want to get each other out of hunting in SPNwin. That's what attracted Mary to John initially, that he was a soldier with a big heart even though he'd seen The Horrors.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is. I have a soft spot for the soldier who try, have tried, and are trying to get out. Even when they fail, like Benny did.

///

Anyway, soldiers are "loyal dogs." We see Dean referred to as a dog as late as season 15, when Lucifer calls him old "faithful," (like a dog) in one of Chuck's alternate endings. They're also "fish" (out of water). Bait. Bombs. Hammers. Blunt instruments.

They struggle with feeling perpetually dislocated when they're away from combat.

That’s where the, “I’m not sure what’s real” primarily stems from.

#complex benny #nihilism #season 8 and mirages illusions and idealizations #andrea kormos #sorry went off on a purgatory tangent again #benny and nihilism #dean and nihilism #the tragic rigidity of soldiers #mary stuff #benny stuff #dean stuff #cas stuff #john stuff #au charlier stuff #etc etc all the soldier characters #spnwin #anyway benny gets a raw deal when he's simplified to a queer caricature - the two subtexts are equally important and valid! #combat addiction #spn vs nihilism #meaning vs nihilism #meaningful story VERSUS meaningless story #eileen adjacent #good soldiers #mary adjacent #chuck voice: you make a good soldier not by force but by getting them to choose it #existential crises

[spoonstra]

The 100 Braindump (1)

This is literally so late, but whatever, I only started watching this show last month.

So, I will start with a disclaimer: I only watched up until 6x07, and I have a vague idea of what happened till the end. I am in no way trying to provoke or anger anybody; I just want to express how I interpreted the show.

I will start with what I think about Clarke and her character in terms of the story. Clarke spent the first 4 seasons trying her best to save as many people as possible. But she's human, so she made mistakes. Who doesn't? In general, she was well-intentioned, and despite all the wrongs she's committed, they were mostly justified or at least understandable. Her journey in season 2 was about facing the reality of being a leader (no good choices). Her major inner conflict that season was trying to reconcile who she is and her morals with what she had to do as leader of her people. This is mainly seen through her interactions with Lexa. In Lexa, Clarke saw a path that her life would take depending on what type of leader she chose to be. Lexa was ruthless, calculating, cold, and single-minded in that she'd do anything in the best interest of her people. What is interesting about their dynamic in season 2 is that Clarke could see past Lexa's walls almost immediately. Clarke didn't just see ruthless Heda; a glimpse into Clarke's future if she let her burdens drown her. Clarke saw past that and saw glimpses of Lexa, the girl who was forced to grow up too fast and buried herself in her walls to protect her heart (I don't think Lexa and Heda are separate per se; they're intertwined, but I do believe there is a clear distinction between them). In season 2, Clarke opened her mind to Lexa's philosophy and advice (love is weakness) and tried to internalize it. But we also saw Clarke reject parts of it because it isn't the type of leader she wanted to become(she didn't want to lose herself to her duty, which is part of why she left after Mount Weather). Then, we saw Lexa do the same. We saw her choose to lower her walls, open her heart, and let it help empower her head when making decisions. So Clarke learned from Lexa, and Lexa learned from Clarke. They taught each other how to balance their heads and their hearts when leading. Now, back to Clarke, her turning point in season 2 regarding her learning to reconcile herself as a person and as a leader was the finale, where she chose to commit genocide to save the 48. This decision haunted Clarke heavily; she knew it was wrong, but she had no choice. In that moment, Clarke learned that she would turn herself into a monster (how she viewed herself) if it meant her people's safety. So, I think that her mindset when she left Camp Jaha was that she knew if she stayed, people would look to her as their leader. Clarke is a protector; she would have led them if she stayed. So, how I viewed it was that she was afraid that she would lose herself to her role as leader if she stayed. That she would have to sacrifice her goodness and kindness (because Clarke was always a kind character) to be capable as their leader. She needed time to regain herself before taking on more burdens. And she probably also figured that her duty to them was done; she got them out of Mount Weather, and that's the only reason she took charge in the first place. Her mistake in that scene was choosing to trust Bellamy. I think she saw in him the person he could have grown to be and not the person he actually was(let's be real, in seasons 1-3, he was a follower, and his morals usually reflected those of who he followed). This is a common thing with Bellamy; the characters around him see him as the person he pretends to be and not who he actually is (this is a loose claim considering how inconsistent his character is ).

Part 2

#clarke griffin #the 100 #clarke griffin deserved better #clexa

[enbysorcerer]

Pronoun Update

Over the past few months I've been thinking about my pronouns, and I've come to realize I don't actually have pronouns, per se, so much as I have preferred pronouns. Meaning you can technically call me whatever and I'll be fine (unless I'm already having a bad/dysphoric day, in which case they/them 1,000%), but I definitely prefer some pronouns over others.

TL;DR: Still using they/them primarily, but if you wanna call me xe/xem, I'll have no complaints and will probably love you forever. He/him is very meh, but she/her is an absolutely no.

Now, the full length version:

They/them: still my favorite and I love it dearly. When in doubt, please use this one. Especially since it's literally the one in my description.

Xe/xem: tbh, I've always loved these. Back when I first realized I'm nonbinary and was thinking about my pronouns, I wanted to use them, but I knew not everyone can use them correctly (tbh, I still have to reference them when I write my xe/xem OCs so... do with that what you will) or even likes using them (which I care significantly less about now that I'm more confident in my identity). However, I'm gonna be totally honest with myself (for once) and admit that I would freaking love appreciate being referred to as xe/xem.

(for reference, since I mentioned even I have trouble remembering this one, it's xe/xem/xyr/xyrs/xyrself. Apparently, they can also be spelled xir/xirs/xirself, but whichever is fine.)

All other neopronouns: meh. Xe/xem is the only neopronoun I really care about tbh. Any others are fine, but, again, meh. 🤷🏻‍♀️

He/him: 100% indifferent to this one. If you must call me something on the gender binary, I'd probably prefer this one just because it's not my usual brand of misgendering, but I'm still not a huge fan. Very meh overall.

She/her: do not! Do not like! I've been incorrectly referred to as she/her for 27 years so I am very well aware of just how much I do not enjoy it. Do not call me this!

(In the future, I might become more indifferent to she/her, but considering it's not currently safe for me to be fully out, I hear it a lot more than I would like so I'd prefer to avoid it everywhere I can.)

Edit: I forgot it/its counts as a neopronoun. I'd prefer not to be called that either, but it's still slightly better than she/her.

#winter speaks #pronoun update #for funsies: pink is my absolute favorite color and thus my favorite pronouns are done in pink #i am indifferent to orange #and i hate red much like i hate being called a she #now that i know nonbinary is a valid option

[variousqueerthings]

trans daniel is quite possibly my fav headcanon in CK-related media for many reasons but also because it makes johnny's eagle fang training scene funnier/hit different like. imagine this. up until season 4-ish johnny has no idea that trans people exist and his whole "i will call daniel by a feminine nickname to make fun of him" deal is like. never in bad faith he's just stupid. but then someone tells him a) what trans people are and b) daniel is trans (probably not daniel in this situation. maybe sam tells miguel who accidentally brings it up around johnny?) and johnny thinks "wow i didn't mean anything bad when i called him danielle but that probably hurt him way more than i meant it to". SO THEN when johnny does the eagle fang training w daniel and he's like "LETS GO LARUSSO WE'RE BADASS MANLY MEN WHO DRINK BEERS AND HIT THINGS IN A MANLY WAY" it's his way of supporting daniel/apologizing to him/affirming his identity without actually having it be brought up in conversation. a very "he's confused but he's got the spirit" situation essentially

YES!!!!

THIS IS FUCKING HILARIOUS AND ABSOLUTELY IN CHARACTER

Daniel like "uhhh, okay we're MEN now, I'm MEN" (because he's obviously not self-conscious about his own masculinity but he's so used to being excluded from mens spaces in canon, for not conforming properly, and if he's trans that hits even harder) -- like he's confused because Johnny hasn't really used this language with him before in the same way, with the closest being that car-date in 1x9 - the manly art of singing to REO Speedwagon with your nemesis bro ally friend crush

but he's clearly thrilled -- this is what being in Johnny's friend group is like? This is what being "one of the guys" is?!!!!!!

also because I'd imagine Daniel would be so stressed about the idea that Johnny would ever know, because he probably has no idea how Johnny would take something like with his, with his uh... less enlightened language at times...

I think he's not stealth per-se, but you know, people like Tom Cole don't need to fucking know -- anyway Sam thought that Miguel knew because he usually always includes it when he tells people about his time coming to LA and then Miguel thinks he's the last person to not know and is horrified when Johnny clearly doesn't either and is like "don't tell mr LaRusso I told you!!! or anyone else!!!!!!"

anyway Johnny reacts by obviously not telling anyone but 100% doing this! (eventually Daniel tells him as well in some context)

#trans daniel larusso #is gonna be a tag now #johnny lawrence #cobra kai #ck

[neuxue]

With the Asmodean issue, I don't think RJ was ever going with redemption for him. He's a fairly contemptible person, even if you can empathize with his struggles and fears during his captivity under Rand. We have Ingtar & Verin for the redemption stories. We even get in Asmodean's head to see he is uninterested in redemption. He even considers whether or not his balefire non-death constitutes a second chance... and rejects the idea. The god of evil is still his "Great Lord".

I don’t think RJ was going with redemption either, otherwise he’d have done it - he’s the author, after all. My frustration with Asmodean’s death is more that it feels like (and this is 100% speculation on my part, obviously) it was a kind of... a way to avoid having to address that question within the narrative. And sure, that’s his prerogative as the author, but as a reader I wish we could have explored that more.

Yes, we have Ingtar and Verin, but again I personally wish we had more than just that (also I’d argue that Verin's isn’t a redemption, per se, so much as a recognition / realisation / reveal of a type that often gets grouped in with the umbrella category of ‘redemption arcs’ in a way that... is probably the topic of another essay entirely) And we do get to see a fair bit of exploration of grey areas from the ‘how far is too far’ angle with many of the main cast, including Rand. But for a story that explicitly contains the statement “No man can walk so long in the Shadow that he cannot come again to the light,” it doesn’t actually spend that much time or focus on that side of it.  

But mainly I want to talk a bit about the rest of this ask - namely, the idea of Asmodean being a ‘contemptible person’ and ‘uninterested in redemption’.

Firstly, in order for an arc to be a redemption, the character by definition has to have done some contemptible things. Otherwise it’s not redemption, it’s some other form of growth or realisation or acceptance. And yeah, that means redemption arcs aren’t going to be for everyone, whether in general or specific, because we all draw our lines in different places and/or enjoy different things. Which is fine! But I always find it a bit... baffling, honestly, when this concept of ‘does this character deserve redemption’ comes up, because taken to its conclusion it feels like a bit of a paradox: that if a character needs redemption they don’t deserve it, and if a character deserves redemption they don’t need it. Like, for me so much of the appeal of redemption arcs is the very fact of that starting point deep in villiany or contemptibility or a bloodstained past. It’s the why and how of a character dragging themselves along a path from that starting point.

Which brings me to the ‘uninterested in redemption’ aspect of it, because this is another one I’ve seen tossed around regarding various characters and fandoms: this idea that if a character ‘rejects’ or isn’t immediately interested in the whole concept of redemption when it’s first (explicitly or implicitly) ‘offered’, then they don’t deserve / want / get to have redemption at all. But that’s... not how redemption works; it’s not how growth works. 

To put it in a different context: have you ever just felt really, really sad or angry, and rejected some form of comfort (maybe pushed away a friend or family member, or knew that you’d feel better if you went for a walk but didn’t, etc) because in that moment, on some level, you didn’t want to feel better? I think of the rejection-of-redemption as a bit like that. 

Sometimes, when you’re so far down a particular path, it’s easier to turn away from the faint glimmer of a distant light, or a hand held out, than it is to take that first step. To say yes, I need to change, or yes, I want to change (or please, help me). 

And for a lot of characters that means having to accept that maybe a lot of the things they’ve done were in some way wrong, or purposeless; means looking in the mirror and seeing monstrosity reflected back, and having to figure out how to cope with that... and so it’s easier, much of the time, to turn away from that out of self-preservation. To say I’ve already done this much, so there’s no point stopping now. To say I’m already damned, what’s a little more. 

So in that regard... of course Asmodean, noted fatalist, answers his own question of is this a second chance with no. Because in so many ways that’s easier. In so many ways it hurts less. It’s comfortable, in the way sadness is comfortable when you’re already sad. It means he doesn’t have to face the possibility of letting himself try, only to fail. Because he’s already embraced that fatalism, that inevitable fall, and it’s easier to just let gravity take hold than to risk hoping, because there’s no guarantee in hope.

But again, part of the appeal of redemption arcs, at least for me, is that they are hard work. That they involve facing hard truths, and looking past denial and fear, and finding the courage to decide to be better and do better, and the courage to keep making that decision, even when it’s hard, even if they don’t know whether it will ever be ‘enough’, or whether they’ll succeed. 

And so the initial ‘rejection’ of redemption is often a part of that story--that, or the stumbles and backsliding along the way--because for a character who has turned away from it at various points, some of the satisfaction in watching comes in that moment when they don’t. When they finally take the hand that’s been held out, or decide at last to turn around. It’s not necessarily a nice, clean, linear path... and that’s so much of what I love about it.

#anyway i have Many Feelings about redemption arcs #...and a fair bit of salt around some fandom takes thereon #tried to keep this minimally salty but you just never know #asks #anon #wheel of time #asmodean #i need a better villains tag

[phoebehalliwell]

i don't know if i'm the only one but i've often wondered exactly how hard it was to convince julian mcmahon to stick around for season five. they took his character, a feared powerful half demon and made him into the butt of the joke and the whole joke was basically ha ha look at this lovestruck fool obsessing and suicidal because he's got nothing to live with but can't die. ain't that funny? like how the fuck did the writers sell that to julian is my question

i find the entirety of season five just so goddamn insulting to cole's character. hell the fact that he got possessed by the source and this was treated as him turning evil instead of a shitty situation that got out of hand. like it wasn't bad enough he was villified for something that he wasn't even in control of half the time they couldn't even just vanquish the dude, they dragged it on and ridiculed him. i hate it here

lol. i mean. yeah. i really. like. it's like. like okay we all know cole was a fan favorite right and he & phoebe were really meant to like. be the sex appeal to the show no one else was really filling that role they were charmed's Sexy Couple tm. so like. in a sense i get the notion ab wanting to keep him around. because everyone loves him! he's bad boy! he adds this dangerous edge love balancing on a knife's point stuff like that. so like. that being said. u wanna keep him around. i just like Do Not Get how you opt to keep him around Like That. tbh. as w all things. i am blaming brad kern. i think it all really started to tank s4 (well, with mortal cole, but like) with source cole. that was bad, but i know it was part of the push to have like long form season drama character driven plots conflict between the sisters themselves it just like. sucked ass and balls imo. like i mean the fact they had to do the source as a possession just so they could get demon cole and lover cole,,, i mean it speaks to how stupid it was. the fact that u wanted cole to be a villain So Bad but the only way to do it was like. possession? sign that u should not do that like. like. like. i don't know how we're supposed to feel ab that.

and then. the vanquish. not sticking. i think like. i think they probably had the vague idea that cole having a mortal soul would not be able to be vanquished properly right? like. demons get destroyed into nothingness, but the human part of him lives, so i think they probably knew that was what they were going to do, that's what they sold to jmm and like. we sowed those seeds in the s4 finale w his ghost whispers and materialization. so i think like. they knew they wanted to Not Kill Him because he was such a fan favorite. maybe there was an intention to do a will they won't they variant of phole? and then. of course. there was the whole idea of paige cole, which, as the rumor goes, was meant to kick of in the s5 pilot, but both julian and rose shut it down. but i feel like. assuming that's true (which i 100% do assume that's true absolutely and i'm not endorsing it i don't think it would have been good or well written or whatever but like. 👀. you know?) but yeah. assuming that's true, i feel like that piece really speaks to what their designs for cole were: man meat. he was meant to be their male sex appeal and they weren't going to be picky about the narrative itself as long as he was still kicking.

but like honestly? i mean i shouldn't have to say this it's a given: it's not enough to just put your sexy man in front of a camera and call it a day like imo even a man who is not sexy can be made appealing through the power of the narrative. like, to level with you, i never really ever shipped phole nor found cole attractive at all like ever, but i can see like the fucking support beams you know i can see the infrastructure on which this whole thing can you know take on a life of its own in the earlier seasons because they very consciously put it there!! people shipped it for a reason n not just because they were two people standing next to each other on a tv screen i mean hello almost sinking a dagger in her heart but can't do it sends her away back to her sisters because he can't act out on his evil plan!! that's something!!!! that's so very something and they gave us Nothing they gave us nothing in the later seasons. and still expected it to fly. like. tbh julian was probably just like unwittingly duped like dragged along for the ride s5 which is likely why he was vanquished halfway through because i'd imagine roughly three episode in he went okay! um. what's this? guys? what's this? and then they said cole<3 you know he like knew he had to get the hell outta dodge.

anyways. if i were to resuscitate phole in s5. which like. to level w u. i wouldn’t. because they would need a lot of one-on-one screentime and we already spent so much of s4 splitting up the sisterhood in the name of phole i wouldn’t really want to continue with that per se But. if i were. this ask is getting long it’s under a cut 

something something demon of the week something something realms the point is cole is there when he very much shouldn’t be and like. he and phoebe get knocked into a different plane. so their bodies are fine and at the manor, but their minds are elsewhere and they need to solve whatever it is in order to get back. and we’ll say there’s a fuckin deadline because the girls need the power of three and right now they are sealed off from accessing it. and you know phoebe’s pretty fuckin pissed with cole because you know. he dragged her down to hell and she almost gave birth to the antichrist. actually source’s heir might be fun to keep around in this au idk. the point is phoebe’s pissed at cole and cole’s pissed at phoebe because phoebe’s pissed at him but he literally didn’t have control over himself in that era and he’s not getting the space he needs to justify himself because phoebe keeps stepping over him. but they gotta work together to get out of here. and were kinda doing enemies to lover 2.0 but like now they have History. of course we’ve gotta do a moment where cole has idk done something normal and phoebe’s so riled up that she does something rash and almost dies cole saves her like catches her bridal style or something faces inches apart breathing heavy and there’s a moment. like a we’re back in early s4 moment. which phoebe immediately breaks from and like walls going flying up but just for a moment there we see it it’s obvious: she’s still in love with cole. which then segues into an argument because like. cole wasn’t sure. right? he wasn’t sure if phoebe now just genuinely hated him. but now he knows right he knows better now so why are you acting like this? why are you taking every opportunity to shut me down to shut me out? why are you acting like you hate me when you know that’s not true right that whole thing to phoebe who gets the Classic because i do hate you. i hate you for what you did to me for what you did to my family and i hate you because i loved you so much and you destroyed me and i hate you because no matter how hard i try that love is still there and i know that for a second if i stop hating you i’m going to love you just like before and you can destroy me again and i hate myself because i’d let you because i love you. you know? big speech. big reveal. i have No Idea what piper and paige are up to right now. the point is. after this big confession we get the lull the cards are on the table what the fuck do we do now which is when cole Finally gets to opportunity to say he was actually possessed by the source and manipulated by the seer and the only thing that kept him holding on was his love for her and after she became queen of hell after he saw what the source had done to her he knew it had to end he doesn’t hold it against her for vanquishing him right this is where we exonerate all wrongs we’re just saying anything bad that has happened ever? scrub it. it’s the source’s fault. cole has no resentment against phoebe. he loves her a healthy, normal, non-possessive amount, so much so He Loves Her So Much he let her kill him and like honestly would probably do it again. idk and then they make out or something. and then they’re out of whatever plane they were in by the end of the episode. And Then we get a buddy cop episode with paige and cole where they bond and also sort through everything that happened there. slowly but surely. and then we do a real phole wedding a super small affair in the manor lowkey bc i hated their wedding episode it blowed we give them a good one. wallah <3

#charmed #cole turner #phoebe x cole #💌