#I have missed plenty of (self-imposed) deadlines

[csquare]

This is a v v cute interactive storytelling personality quiz thingy :)

It comes back with results like this :D

#cosmos persona #cosmospersona #not sure how accurate though #I have missed plenty of (self-imposed) deadlines #and how is being a big fluffy cat a WEAKNESS?!

[howlinchickhowl]

2021 Fic Year in Review

@captainjowl tagged me this morning, and also @squidyyy23 ​ a little while ago threw my hat in the ring, sorry squid - I know I’ve seen your name somewhere but also there is some real joy in calling you squid I hope you don’t mind - I’m working my way through my mentions! 

So, without any further ado, let’s review... (you took a rumour a few, maybe two people knew etc etc I’m a nerd ok let’s all turn our eyes away and pretend we do not see it)

Total Number Of Completed Works:

5 on a03 + 3 little tumblr only ficadees

Total Word Count:

60,926

Fandoms I’ve Written In:

Shameless (US)

Looking Back, Did You Write More Fic Than You Thought You Would This Year, Less, Or About What You’d Expected?:

I started the year expecting to write no fic, so, on balance I’d say a lot more.

What’s Your Own Favorite Story Of The Year?:

This is tough! I love them all in their own way. The other day I reread Love, Like a River and I actually really like that one. It changes day to day, but today it is maybe that.

Did You Take Any Writing Risks This Year?:

Posting a WIP, what if I run out of steam?? (I have no plans to, but what if, you know?) 

And also I feel like gunpowder onto liquor was something of a risk for me, it was kind of experimental and florrid, had no like, purpose? really? was based off a spoken word poem, was formatted like a 19 chapter behemoth despite being really just a decent sized one-shot. I don’t know entirely what I was thinking, but it was one of those projects that just took me over and demanded to be written that way. If I was more skilled in the visual arts I would love one day to make some kind of multi-media version of it, but I think that might be one that just lives in my brain. 

Do You Have Any Fanfic Or Profic Goals For The New Year?:

Finish Ristretto, that’s project number 1! And then I have a few ideas in my little planning doc that I would like to hope I can do in this next year, but time doth fly. 

Most Popular Story Of The Year?:

Difficult to know what metric to use, but if we go by hits-per-unit on ao3 (because multi-chaps have naturally more hits because people are coming back to read the next chapters) it is far and away Song of the Hearth. And that is also the one that I have seen people recommend out in the wild so I think that is probably right.

Story Of Mine Most Under-Appreciated By The Universe, In My Opinion:

idk I think I’m pretty fortunate in the amount of appreciation my work gets shown. Maybe Found Wanting, but it was my first shameless fic while I was still getting my bearings and before I knew anyone, so it makes sense for it to be the least read/kudosed/whatever. And I haven’t read it in a while so maybe it’s no good! 🤷🏻‍♀️

Most Fun Story To Write:

I am really having fun writing Ristretto. I love silly flirty idiot boys and I am giving myself plenty of opportunities to write that shit right now. Also 13 mugshots[...] was a lot of fun, I remember feeling very dumb and gleeful while I was writing that. 

Most Unintentionally Telling Story:

I don’t know if I’m self-aware enough to know. You tell me?

Biggest Disappointment:

Missing self-imposed deadlines, even though I know in the grand scheme it doesn’t matter at all, it bothers me to lose a goal. 

Biggest Surprise:

How I apparently write fluff and happy stuff now? I haven’t written for fandom in a long while and in previous incarnations I have always considered myself a glutton for punishment. I’ve never been into angst necessarily, or at least not angst conjured solely for the fic, but the beauty of anguish has always appealed to me and characters who suffer have always been like magnets to me. So to show up at Shameless which is so ripe with opportunities to luxuriate in agony and then just, roll around in the marshmallows instead, that was a shock for sure! 

My Favorite Part Of Fandom This Year:

Being in it! I haven’t actively participated in a fandom for about 6 years and it has been such a joy to jump back in and get involved again, get to know people, make new friends! And we’ve all said it many times but this corner of the internet is such a haven of friendliness and openness and supportiveness and joy. I have loved going from total newbie happy to be noticed by even a couple of people to established clown ushering in the new wave as they arrive. I have loved watching new writers/creators shy about sharing their work being bolstered and enouraged and gaining confidence and finding their voices. I have loved watching people jump onto ideas offered by others and collaborating together to create something (this is an aspect of fandom I have only really seen here, the ease with which people just start vibing together, the complete willingness to share ideas and ‘yes, AND’ the post, elsewhere I find people are quite territorial about their ideas and their ‘things’, here it’s just like, yes, join me in my madness. I am begging you! So yeah, my favourite part is all of it. I don’t care if that’s cheating. 

Once again, this was going around when I wasn’t here a lot so I don’t know if you have done it already, but I would love to hear from @catgrassplantdad @sunoficarus @iansfreckles @unbridgeabledistances about their year of fic writing 🙃

#as ever I am incurably verbose #sorry for not being able to answer questions with brevity #personal i guess #tagatha christie #about my writing #edited because my tags didnt work? 😔

[sheliesshattered]

On Thursday I only managed to add a little more than 300 words to First Christmas, after doing a whole bunch of editing. But then yesterday I had another big writing day, ending the day up 2037 words, and all of it in the consecutive-from-the-beginning mega-chunk. As a whole the story is sitting at 13,321 words right now. Only 1429 of that is in disconnected bits at the end waiting to be woven in, which means I have 11,892 words consecutive from the beginning, no missing bits. The last part of that still needs to be edited, but I don’t foresee any significant rewrites.

I usually don’t write nearly this linearly, but it’s worked really well for this story, maybe especially because I do have that ~1400 words sketched out for the final scenes. From here, I have three scenes left to write, one that’s adapted from the episode and two that are all original. I have chunks of dialogue written for each of the original scenes, and the adapted one I of course have the episode transcript to go off of, so I’m feeling pretty confident about finishing this with plenty of time to spare before Christmas -- maybe even by my self-imposed deadline of Monday the 21st.

According to AO3, Honeymoon On The Orient Express clocked it at 14,269 words, and with any luck I’ll pass that mark in First Christmas later today. Given the parts I still have left to write, I can’t imagine this will end up at anything less than 15,000 words, but I don’t think we’ll break 18k. 16k and change is my current bet, but it really just depends on how chatty Clara and the Doctor decide to get in the denouement, lol.

So what do you guys think? Ready for 15k+ words of Whouffaldi Christmas-themed fluff and action in a Last Christmas AU? :D

#Whouffaldi #process thoughts #my writing #First Christmas #For As Long As We Get #Clara and the Doctor #I am not going to be able to sit on this one once it's finished and edited #and Jack has been editing in chunks so the final editing pass should go pretty quick too #I am SO EXCITED for you guys to see this one! #:D

[greenwaterskeeter]

College Advice

My brother was like, hey if you have any tips… So i wrote this! And then thought, there’s lots of people on tumblr just now going to college too…

Theres nothing in here about covid or making sure you have enough money– because i dont know anything about being a student during covid and i wouldnt give the same advice for getting money to everyone (and i wouldnt always know how anyway). I assume in the advice that the reader has enough money, because my brother does. That makes a big difference! Someone struggling for money wont have the bandwidth or time, probably, to do a lot of the stuff i advise. Edit: ugh i forgot, this is about US schools, specifically liberal arts US schools. Sorry about that!

Also, I didnt feel right taking the affection out of it once i decided to share it publicly. Help yourself! I may not have as direct an interest in your life, but there’s nothing in there i wouldnt wish for anyone going to college right now. (there’s also quite a bit that I think applies to anyone regardless of whether they do college or not).

Hi ******!

College Advice:

Work: No matter how important your work is or how much you have, take at least one day off a week. No schoolwork or working for money or any kind of work at all that day! (if it works better for you to take a half-day here and there instead of the whole day, that will do). More than one day is preferable, but there may come times when you have So Much To DO that sacrificing your free time doesn’t seem so bad and even one day off feels like too much.

I’m sure you’ve had plenty of this already, but people will keep telling you (by things they say and don’t say) that what you accomplish is the most important thing. It is not. What is most important is up to you– but I think it’s being your own authentic self. That’s complicated of course, but it boils down to: you already have everything you need in yourself, and keeping in touch with what you really truly want and love comes before everything. 

If you flunk out of school and all your nightmares come true and you still remember who you are, I will consider you to have succeeded. (but if you do forget– and so many things conspire to make you forget!– I will still be proud of you). 

GPA: It’s not the same as it was in high school! I won’t get into specific numbers because different schools have different ways of calculating it, and different rates of gpa inflation etc. It’s mostly bullshit. Unfortunately, if you want to go to graduate school, it is bullshit you have to pay attention to, but even then it’s not as all-important as it was in high school. You don’t need a 4.0, not even to become a doctor or a lawyer. A 3.5 or 3.6 is plenty for the highest ambitions, especially given that you’ll be doing extracurriculars. 

I would advise keeping half an eye on the numbers, and not straining yourself for even one additional 0.1 above your target, whatever you decide that is. If you decide not to do graduate school, you honestly could get any GPA as long as you don’t end up on academic probation (which i think goes on your permanent record? Or maybe not. I was on academic probation my last semester of senior year and i’m still not clear on whether it’s on the transcript somehow). After college, people only care that you have your bachelor’s, not what your grades were while you got it. They mostly won’t even care what the bachelor’s is in! It’s very strange, after all the work you’ve put in! (many of them only care that you had the money to go to school, very disappointing)

Extracurriculars: I did a lot of different ones, and still don’t feel entirely qualified to advise about them, because I hated most of them. My mistake was doing things I thought I should do instead of what I wanted to do. I think you should do what you want, even if there’s no existing group for the thing you want to do, for a few reasons. 1. You should enjoy yourself! Having fun is a very serious matter! Keeping the joy of living alive in your heart will make living feel worthwhile, of course, but it will also give you courage and the power to stick by your principles and keep pursuing your goals. 2. It doesn’t actually matter to graduate schools WHAT you did for extracurriculars; what they’re looking for is evidence for what kind of person you are, and they judge that that’s shown through HOW you do your extracurriculars (with commitment and integrity etc) rather than which ones you do. (even so, don’t let the “commitment” part keep you stuck in a soul-sucking activity!)

Choices: You’ll be told you’re supposed to choose your major on a certain timeline, do this and that and everything to very specific deadlines, all very proper. Of course, the more deadlines you meet, the easier things are. But on the other hand– human beings are not machines. You’re allowed to change your mind! Even after you were supposed to be sure! It’s much better to listen to your own misgivings and really look at them to figure out what you want as soon as you know they’re there rather than pushing them down in a panic because you’re not supposed to have them. If they’re ignored, they won’t go away, and they’ll eat at you, and one day they’ll ruin things. (this may be what midlife crises are made of). 

Friends: I know you have an established way of having friends, very different from mine, and that’s a good thing! I also know a lot of people take going to college as an opportunity to finally allow themselves certain things. There’s all kinds of takes on this, from putting on a poorly-done accent to binge drinking to coming out. It’s much better to stretch your legs this way than otherwise, I think. We need all the autonomy we can get! 

My advice here is: trust yourself. Listen to even your very quiet instincts. They’re there for a reason. You may elect to ignore them, but consider them first, and reject them afterwards if you must. The extreme end of this is Having A Bad Feeling. Listening to that has saved me from some sticky situations! A more mild form is the weird feeling of dissonance between you and an old friend. There are many reasons you may feel that, but unfortunately, in college, one of the most common reasons is that you’re becoming different people who aren’t so suited to being friends as your high school selves were. It’s painful! At the same time, it’s okay to love someone and not be together forever– but I suspect you already know that!

The one thing I would absolutely forbid is isolating yourself. It may seem impossible from where you are now, but that’s what I thought at the beginning too. College is a weird place, not exactly school and not exactly work and not exactly home, and it’s too easy to slip into anonymity. Tell your friends how you feel, good or bad! If you feel like you’re imposing on them, impose!! If they love you, they will prefer inconvenience over learning later that you were in pain and said nothing.

How to Learn: It’s true what they say, that teaching is the best way to learn. Your peers may not always welcome this– I was rather disliked in study groups for always explaining the answer, before I reined it in a bit (things were still awkward unfortunately! possibly for other reasons lol). Of course, other people’s jealousy isn’t your responsibility, and you may sow discord with your brilliance with my full blessing. If you’d rather not do that, my advice would be to become a tutor and/or TA in the subject(s) most important to you at your earliest convenience/whenever they allow you to. It really does make you an expert!

Humanities: They’re going to make you read a lot. Excessively, some might say! You’ll learn which readings are actually necessary to pore over, which ones you may skim, and which ones you may skip altogether. Please don’t feel guilty for not always doing all the reading! Almost no one does all of them. I didn’t even do all of them, and I was a stickler for Doing It Right.

Papers: my tricks are the Purdue OWL website (for brushing up on grammar, looking up how to do those goddamn finicky citation styles, seeing examples of finished papers in those styles), outlining, and rest time. Leaving time between drafts of a paper helps a lot! (that being said, I will be very surprised if you make it all the way through college without turning in at least a few first drafts. It’s not the end of the world, and if you’ve got a knack for it, the professors may not even know the difference! Very amusing). Reading through what you’ve written out loud also helps, however silly it may feel. It has to do with how your brain processes information, and hearing what you’ve written is different enough from seeing it that you’ll be more sensitive to errors and weirdnesses. 

STEM subjects: For these ones, it’s more important to do all the homework, because they may only give you one problem per concept. Be very literal about how you interpret things, that’s how folks in STEM usually expect you to think. Office hours are gold, if you can get them (and if the professor isn’t an ass). TAs are hit or miss. Readings are usually super important, relatively short, and can be read multiple times for more benefit.

General knowledge: Don’t forget to think critically! You’d think that’s all you’ll be doing, but in fact most professors only want you to regurgitate their own thoughts back to them. Very disappointing. However, that doesn’t have to stop you! You can always think: “Who benefits from this? What voices aren’t I hearing from in this story?” (even in STEM there are stories). “Why is this important?” In general, don’t stop asking questions! This is where I think true intelligence lies.

I’m sure you don’t need ALL of this advice– please don’t think I don’t think you know what you’re doing! I’m being a little over-cautious not because I don’t trust you but because if there’s any chance of my mistakes and accidental successes helping you do better than otherwise, I want to give all of them that opportunity. Kind of a shotgun approach!

All my love,

Autumn!

#by auti #college advice #adulting #i guess? yeah i think this is that #and i'm mostly teasing abt wanting my brother to make ppl jealous #the joke is that he would NEVER #but i realize now it doesnt translate well to a general audience lol

[excentrykemuse]

Happily Writing

author update and fanart for (upcoming) prompt fanfics!

So, the great thing about recovering from a head cold (apart from the refound ability to breathe through my nose) … is that I have plenty of time for writing.

I finally got to start in on the prompts, so at least I won’t miss my own self-imposed deadline.

I also got to create some decent art for the fics currently written (see below). Going virtual in RL means that I suddenly have developed…

View On WordPress

[la-myles]

Deadlines and My Muse

My deadlines are self-imposed right now. For the most part I am good at self motivation and keeping to deadlines even when they are self imposed. Occasionally though I need help, especially when there is a tone of work to be done around the house or lots of kid activities going on.

During those times when I need extra help, I like to think of my muse as my boss. While she and I are good friends, she is a fickle creature at the best of times. Which means standing her up or missing turning in an assignment to her is seriously dangerous.

The implication of pissing off the being whose words I channel onto the page is not pleasant. Not to mention the added threat she will often communicate with me through dreams for story ideas and an angry muse can lead to some very dark dreaming.

All that is plenty of motivation for me. And yes, I know I have an overactive imagination. I’m good with that. It works for me.

#my writing #muse #writers on tumblr #writing #deadline #self motivation #writeblr #spilled thoughts #spilled words #writingblr #writingcommunity #authors on tumblr #my muse

[grandoldacademy]

April Update

Hello again, time for another update on the progress of Grand Old Academy! As always, I have plenty of updates to report. I’m continuing to chip away at the word count, scene by scene and act by act, faster than I’ve ever done before! I actually just put the finishing touches on the spring festival arc, one of the big centerpieces of the whole game. As current events continue to unfold, I’m continuing to work them into the game (for example, Paul Ryan now has a much more defined arc in light of his announced resignation), and as I learn more about the past, I’m doing the same. It’s both a blessing and a curse that there’s never less to write about, but I think that every new line and allusion that I insert makes the game better. By the way, sorry if this post has typos or rambles; I’m on pain medication from a recent surgery. So please excuse any of that.

There have been, again as always, a few setbacks. I lost a good amount of work to a computer crash (no matter how often you back up your files, you should be backing them up twice as often), and I’m coming off a two-week recovery from the aforementioned surgery. (I was hoping I’d be able to use most of this time in bed to write, but that turned out to be too optimistic.) I’m still figuring out if the lost data is recoverable. Hopefully it will be, but if not, that’s just one more obstacle. So, as you can see, it has been a rough ride recently. But, I have maintained a good place and have been determined to uphold my end and give this game to you great people as soon as possible.

I know how strange and frustrating it must sound to hear me say this so long past the original deadline, but I’ve finally figured out the overall scale and outline of the project. I’ve been reading dozens of books on everything from Watergate to Warren Harding, and figuring out how all the pieces of this game, and the history of the Republican party, fit into place. This isn’t just a flavor-of-the-year joke game like I was afraid it might be. I’m hesitant to use a word like “meaningful,” of course, but I am confident now that there is something important to be said in this game, and that I’ll be able to say it. I have read your comments, some encouraging, some angry and impatient. Believe me, I sympathize with both of those feelings. If you feel frustration as a lack of progress, keep in mind that I too feel that way. This is primarily a one person project. I of course have my wonderful team of artists and musicians and programmer, and have good support from people in my life. But the bottleneck time-wise is writing, and I am writing this myself. My little hands are moving fast. I overestimated myself originally, but I have learned from mistakes, and will be sure to stay on this route until we can officially declare this game launched!

On a related note, I’m going to be quitting my job this month in order to work fulltime on the game until it’s done. That sounds a bit more drastic than it is; I’ve been searching for a better job for a while anyway, and if an amazing surprise opportunity comes along, I won’t turn it down. But the point is that finishing up the game will be my unrivaled priority until it’s done. I know I’ve missed my self-imposed deadlines before, but I’m going to give myself another: September 5th. Is it going to be hard? Yes. Will I fail? Not this time. I have spend a long time working on this creation of mine, and it means so much that it will finally be out in the world. So, this deadline in five months will be the deadline to end all deadlines! I know I can do it, and I hope you’ll want to stick around for just a little longer to see it all come together at last. I’ll keep posting here and on other social media on occasion to give you updates, previews, and ask for feedback. As always, thank you so much for your patience and support.

Finally, I debated whether or not it was appropriate and respectful to address this here, but I think it is: I’d like to take a moment to pay respects to the late Barbara Bush. Her support of literacy and reading is a cause close to my own heart, and her work at the highly respected and nonpartisan Barbara Bush Foundation for Family Literacy will continue to make an impact for many years to come.

-RA

#Grand Old Academy #update

[biketrash]

Hotter ‘n Tandems Hundred

 With the sun still asleep, we were unloading the tandems. Many might think it to be ridiculous to be awake this early. For us, that barely scratched the surface of our insanity. Today, Marde and I, were riding our second Hotter than Hell Hundred on our tandem. In a year’s time we have forgotten the sting of the saddle sores, the heat of an unrelenting sun, the never ending headwinds. All we could recall was the satisfaction of finishing a hundred miles on our bicycle. At least that’s how we sold it to Donald and Amanda. “Get a tandem” we said. “Ride a hundred miles” we said. “It’ll be fun” we said.  Donald and Amanda have a natural talent for the tandem. Whatever their weaknesses may be on single bikes, they are quickly overcome on a two seater. They ride faster and can go farther working together. In the few months they’ve shared the horsepower at the rear wheel, they’ve clocked in several high milage rides. Today, however, would be their first triple digit ride. That is, if they made Hell’s Gate in time.

Pre ride smiles

 We find ourselves packed in with many other tandems, along with recumbents. Among our ranks are even a few recumbent tandems. The organizers are well aware of the herky-jerky start hundreds of tandems and recumbents initiate. Starting us with the 10K+ single riders that will participate today is a recipe for disaster. Instead, the Cat 1&2 (pros and pro like) take off first, quietly and without fanfare. At an average pace of nearly 30mph, they are not worried about making Hell’s Gate on time. Marde and I will focus on a 12-15 mph pace. That will keep us on track to make the gate. Donald and Amanda should have no trouble pacing with us.

Marde’s view

Hell’s Gate is a timing strip laid out at mile 62. This imaginary gate closes at 12:30. If you are late, you will be turned to a shorter (75 mile) route. Donald is determined to make it. Everybody needs a good challenge every now and then.  At roughly 6:45, they release our rag tag renegade fleet of odd looking bicycles. The race for the gate is on! Thinking in race terms, makes the first miles hard. It’s not as tough physically as it is mentally. You have to pace yourself. Start too fast and you just won’t last. With the cool morning air and relatively flat road, it’s hard to not push yourself. This is, after all, the best you’ll feel all day.

EZ chair riding

 In the initial chaos, we lose Donald and Amanda. The nice thing about the tandem is that I won’t lose Marde. We wind our way through a sea of flashing red lights and catch up to our tandem friends. Before we realized we’ve made it very far, we arrived at the first rest stop. We were ten miles into the ride already. Donald and Amanda were as excited as they were at the start, they were ready to hit the road again. A quick photo with the Beatles, a banana, and we’re off just behind the first surge of a 10K+ armada of single bikes that had finally caught up to us. With the weeble-wobble bikes spread out, it was easier to keep up with Donald and Amanda. That is, until the hills began. North Texas doesn’t offer the worst hills ever cycled. Still, a tandem is a slog as it progresses up them. The slog turns into a rocket as the handlebars angle back down though. This super speed will be thwarted time and time again, as single riders will eclipse us as we make our way up each hill. Brakes will get much use as we avoid running over the (now) much slower pack of riders. Occasionally, we are able to get around, but the slope turns back skyward and the tandem slows to molasses. This yo-yo effect continues all the way to mile twenty and rest stop two. 

The Force was strong at the second rest stop

 Pickles and cookies are scarfed down. Our metabolisms have ratcheted to high boil. From this point on, everything consumed will be turned directly into energy. Still feeling great, we get back on the road. The gate waits for no one. The sun has been up for awhile now. Luckily, we can’t see it. An overcast is hiding it from us and subsequently keeping the temps not so Hell like. We are not complaining. Well, except for the headwind that has developed. I’m complaining about that. This isn’t my first HHH though. Headwinds come with the ride. I know that and I still come back. The ride is definitely worth it, yet for this moment I will bad mouth this wind.  A hard left takes us off a narrow two lane and back on Business 287. A shoulder and a recent repave has us clicking off the miles with little effort. The surrounding riders are now a mixed assortment. Mainly single riders, but still a fair number of recumbents and tandems remain. A plethora of color. I enjoy seeing the many different brands of bicycles and their approach to finding what works for the consumer. Marde is enjoying the latest train we’ve seen today. Donald and Amanda are simply enjoying the  ride on roads the’ve never seen before.

A stampede of singles

 We are coming into the sleepy town of Electra. Marde’s phone begins ringing. It’s our daughter Makaidi attempting to FaceTime us! Having just recently enlisting in the Navy, we are adjusting to a new life of not having her home. It’s a tough transition, but Marde and I are extremely proud of her choice to join the Navy. “What are y’all doing?” Makaidi asks. “Just riding” is Marde’s response as she pans the phone around allowing Makaidi to see the cyclists all around us. The conversation is all too short. Marde and I will take what we can get. The third rest stop is in Electra. There is an endless line of people doing the pee dance. Legs crossed while shifting side to side. Marde hears the music and joins in. I find myself making repeat trips back to the cookies as I kill time. I also top off our waters. With Donald and Amanda by our sides, we head out of Electra. A hard right sends us due north along with a tailwind. Oh, blessed free speed. If only for a few miles, we will savor this beautiful thing.

It’s a tandem life

 Heading east on Texas 240, we are in full push to make Hell’s Gate before the 12:30 deadline. The clouds are beginning to break up, revealing a bright blue sky. We are still twenty plus miles away and the clock is ticking. The wind is hitting us on our right side. I miss the push of a pure tailwind. With the increasing sunlight, I am appreciating the cooling breeze though. A pure tailwind has a stagnate feel because you are flowing with the wind and not feeling it actually move. Find the silver lining. The cool breeze is our silver lining.  Determined to take in the day’s full suffering, we push hard. We could easily pull back a little and miss the cut-off. It would mean twenty-five less miles. Our mental stress would be eliminated. It was, after all, completely self imposed. We could ride through the Sheppard Air Force Base. We have heard great things about riding through the base. If only we’d slow down and hurt less. Instead, we embrace the challenge a century presents. We want that one hundred miles!  We make it to Burkburnett knowing we are close on time. Still full of excitement, we keep the speed up, blowing by the final rest area prior to Pyro Pete. “You still have plenty of time!” a voice calls out over a PA system. We are taking no chances. Full of hot air, Pyro Pete towers over cyclists anxious to get their picture taken with him. We too, are anxious. We are also relieved. We made it to Hell’s Gate! Donald and Amanda will make their goal today, provided they can tough out another thirty-eight miles.

Hell’s Gate with Pyro Pete!

 After the gate, Marde and I relax a bit. At our more relaxed pace, we fall behind Donald and Amanda. Regret from skipping the last rest area creep in. This fat boy needs a break and takes one. Marde shares a protein bar with me. We don’t want to bonk now. A few miles later, we arrive at an official rest area. With the realization that we could have easily made it without our impromptu rest stop, we share a laugh. As we refuel, Donald and Amanda are prepared to leave. Pushing seventy miles and they are still smiling. Marde and I will spot them a head start while we grab a chair in the shade.  Partly cloudy skies and vast expanses are easier to take in with the current pace. Farm houses, windmills, and strange old trucks catch the eye. We can also take advantage of what a tandem really allows a couple to do. We can talk. We won’t solve world peace or figure out the mathematics of flying to Mars. We don’t need to. Just the simple conversations that keep a relationship working.  With just over twenty miles to the finish line, we are reunited with our fellow tandem travelers. With a catch in his back, Donald was taking an extended break. This allowed Marde and I to catch up at our meandering pace. A century is a hard goal to achieve. It gets especially hard in the last fifteen to twenty miles. From saddle sores to cramps, and even a catch in the back, a tired body finds the final miles hard to manage.

Ready for the final push

 Donald will need an impromptu break along with the official rest areas to make it to the city limits of Wichita Falls. The rest of us need it to get our butts off of saddles that have turned evil. As the city’s skyline comes into view however, our pains all seem to recede. Rolling through the downtown streets, numb hands regain feeling. Crossing the finish line, the excitement from the day’s start hits us again. We made the century! It was a long hot day full of fun, bicycles, and friends. This is my third Hotter than Hell Hundred in a row. Two years ago I rode it solo. Last year Marde joined me, making it all the better. Now, my friends Donald and Amanda came and conquered the hottest hundred miles in North America. I like the trend. Perhaps next year, you’ll cross the line with us!

#texas #wichita falls #cycling #bicycle

[kirby42280]

Waterfall Eclipse II: The Lost Clan - Chapter Seven

A/N: HELLO ALL!

I’m back with the next chapter. Enjoy!

Just a couple of notes:

1. If you haven't read the first part to this story, you may want to. You might miss jokes that I may reference, etc. This story starts pretty much right where the first part ends. Find part one here: Fanfiction.net / Tumblr / Wattpad

2. I finished WE-I back in April 2016, which means my captains and lieutentants don't really match up to what Tite Kubo did in his manga. I am keeping my list for the most part. The only ones I got right were Rukia Kuchiki and Isane Kotetsu. If you would like me to write up a list of my captains and lieutenants, leave me a message and I will reply. If I get enough requests, I may make a side chapter that shows it.

Summary: Hitsugaya Rani is back with the next step in her story - finding out her the history of the crest on her hairpin. Along with suffering from a series of nightmares that somehow link together and the research of one ten-year-old, Rani finds out the truth about her past and what it may mean for her future.

Waterfall Eclipse II: The Lost Clan

Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six

Chapter Seven:

Rani found herself at the front gate to the Kuchiki Manor on her normal Monday visit. She still had the fate of her birth clan on her mind, so while she came to this place to see Lily, she was acting more like a robot than anything else. She did end up entering the manor and found Lily back in her studio working diligently on her previous projects.

"So, how are the paintings coming along?" Rani said calmly as she came into the doorway.

"OH! Rani! Let me know what you think!" Lily exclaimed as she worked on one.

"Will do." Rani replied as she walked around. "How did my notes work out for you?"

"Great! And I didn't know you could draw like that."

"I..uh..didn't." she confessed. "I may have asked Momo for some help in that department. She's seen more shikais and bankais than I have. I felt it would look really weird and seem off if I asked all of the captains and lieutentants to see their shikais and bankais."

Lily let out a small giggle at the realization.

"I'm just glad you helped me out. What did Lieutenant Hinamori say when you asked for the help? Did she suspect anything?"

"I was honest with her and told her you wanted to paint everyone something. I said I thought the shikais and bankais would be a great option." Rani explained as she slowly walked around. "You've gotten quite a bit done too."

"Yes, I have." Lily said proudly. "I only have a few more to do. Great-grandfather is going to help me deliver these to the squads."

"Too nervous to go by yourself?"

"A little bit, but daddy wouldn't want to see me walking around the Gotei 13 alone, either."

"I could help too, you know. We could deliver them on a Monday."

Lily looked up at Rani and grinned.

"Really? Then should I let great-grandfather know?"

"I'll go see Lord Ginrei before I leave today."

"Okay, but I want to deliver yours and Toshiro's together."

"Uh, why don't we deliver his and Rangiku's together before he gets off for the day. Then we can head to my place and you can present mine to me?"

"You knew where I was going with this, weren't you?"

"Yup. And I have no idea what you are drawing and painting for me."

Lily smiled as she put the paintbrush down.

"I can't have you know all of the pictures beforehand. That wouldn't be fun." Lily teased. "But, a few of these will be wrapped up tomorrow since they are officially complete."

"Just make sure you label them correctly."

"I know. I know."

Lily and Rani walked around the ground of the Kuchiki Manor and talked about things that were bothering them, including Rani's tough decision. Before they knew it it was time for Rani to head home, but she did stop and see Lord Ginrei about the delivery of the gifts. He agreed Rani should go with her when Lily was complete with her self-imposed project.

She took her time walking home enjoying the peaceful night. Once she entered the gates of Squad Ten she made her way to the house and found Toshiro waiting on the roof.

"I haven't seen you up there in a while." she commented causing him to look down.

"You're home later than normal."

"Eh." she shrugged. "I just walked slower and enjoyed the surroundings."

"But it's all buildings." he commented confused as the two walked into their home.

"It was peaceful."

"You were mulling over your necessary decision, weren't you?"

"Maybe."

"I'm not buying that 'maybe'. You were. You haven't stopped thinking about it."

"Thank you for stating the obvious, there, Captain Hitsugaya." she teased.

"Do you have a deadline for this decision?"

"I don't think so. Have you decided if you want to go to Yoshi's wedding with me?"

"If you are going to go, I will too. However, I will need to find a different outfit than this. I don't think wearing a captain's haori would be the best idea."

"We've got seven weeks. We can find something. I have plenty of kimonos."

Toshiro let out a small chuckle.

"Yes, I would definitely say you do. You have like seven, not counting what you wore to the wedding."

"You could wear what your wore to Yoshi's wedding."

"All right - let's change the topic. What should we do for dinner?"

Rani laughed as the two made their way to the kitchen.

~Two Days Later~

Rani had had it with the debate constantly going on in her head and she had finally come to a conclusion. Before officially announcing it, however, she made arrangements to speak with the Captain Commander. So, when one o'clock came around, she made her way out of the Squad Six office and headed over to Squad One. Once she was announced she walked into the captain's office and approached his desk.

"Ah, Lieutenant Hitsugaya. Welcome!"

Rani bent down and bowed before getting closer to him.

"Hello Captain Kyoraku." she greeted. "Hello Lieutenant Ise."

"Hi Rani. I'll be back later, Captain."

"Okay." he replied to his lieutenant. "I understand you wanted to tell me first your decision on your clan."

"Yes." Rani admitted as she grimaced. "But before I do, what would you have done?"

"Well," he started, "THAT is a very good question." he added as he stood up. "It's a hard one, I'll give you that. But truthfully, I have NO IDEA what I would have done. Taking into account your personal history, I am not sure I could picture myself in your situation."

"I just don't want to regret my decision that I have made."

"Are you looking for someone to make you change your mind?"

"I was kind of hoping."

"No one I know in the Gotei 13 that is a member of any clan would ever try to convince you to do anything. It's your decision, and your decision alone. Don't let anyone dissuade you from what your heart is telling you."

There was a few moments of silence before he continued.

"With that being said, what is your decision?"

Rani, who was looking out at the scene of the Seireitei before her, looked up to the captain commander and took in a deep breath.

"I think I am just going to keep things the way they are."

"You think?" a familiar voice asked from behind startling her.

"Captain Kuchiki! Sheesh! You scared me."

Byakuya just raised his right eyebrow.

"It needs to be a definite decision."

"I know, but…how did you know I was here?"

"My lieutenant was missing from her post. I had no idea where you were but then sensed you here."

Rani turned her head in one of those 'duh' moments and bit her lip while the head captain let out a small chuckle at her expense.

"Why come if you sensed I was here? I'm thoroughly confused."

"Do you really need me to answer that?"

"Uh..no. Think of it as a..rhetorical question." Rani nervously stammered out. "But, back to the topic at hand - I have decided that I AM going to keep things the way they are." she restated. "And like I mentioned to Umeko of Squad Ten, if the Seireitei survived this long without the Sutahomu clan, they can survive eternity without it." Rani added. "And I am rather fond of who I grew up to be, in a matter of speaking. How I was raised and all of that."

Byakuya nodded and then swiftly turned around and started to walk away.

"I am never going to understand half of the things he does, and why he does them." Rani said absent-mindedly causing the head captain to chuckle.

"My dear, NONE of understands him. He's too…stoic."

"Well, Captain Kyoraku, I must go. I am sure he's timing me on my return to Squad Six." she said with a small bow and roll of her eyes.

"Have a nice day, Rani."

Rani left Squad One and shunpoed all the way to Squad Six. Byakuya was waiting for her, or so she thought, but he didn't scold her for arriving after him. She quickly, and quietly made her way to her desk where she continued her work before it was time to head home.

Two weeks later, Rani and Lily were delivering Lily's paintings to each squad, starting with squad one and going down numerically, save Squads Six and Ten.

Lily was nervous, to say the least, in approaching the captains and lieutenants, well most of them. Captain Kyoraku and Lieutenant Ise were very pleased, and surprised with Lily's portraits, especially since they were one hundred percent sure that the young soul had never seen their shikais before. The responses were all the same down the line, but Lily's gift to Lieutenant Hisagi made Rani laugh hysterically. Lily made him a bonus portrait of Kiyomi and she devilishly grinned as he opened it.

By the end of the day, the young girl was utterly exhausted, but she had a few more deliveries to make, including one to her father.

"What brings you two here?" he asked confused as the Third Seat brought the canvas into the office. "And what is that?"

"Now, captain, don't be mad. This is the surprise that Lily has been working on…or at least part of it."

Lily smiled.

"Daddy, I was working on paintings for every captain and lieutenant in the Gotei 13. I had help from Rani, and Lieutenant Hinamori, for the majority, but yours has been completed for a while." she started to explain as her father walked over to the canvas.

"So this is mine?" he asked confused as he looked at Rani.

"Yes. She wants to deliver mine to me at home in Squad Ten. We still have to deliver Toshiro's and Lieutenant Matsumoto's." Rani explained.

"Open it please, daddy." Lily asked politely, but looked as if she was going to pop with excitement.

Curiously, he did as was requested by his daughter. Carefully he took off the wrapping and revealed the painting of the cherry blossom in their manor's courtyard.

"I am very impressed."

"I actually wasn't sure if that's something you would want, but it seems to be a family thing with the cherry blossoms. And something you have everywhere."

Although he didn't let it show since the Third Seat was still in the room, inside he smiled.

"Will you want this hung here in the office, sir?"

"Yes. We'll hang it later." the captain answered the Third Seat. He then walked over to his daughter. "Thank you, Lily. I will see you later at the house. Finish your deliveries. Don't get home too late."

"Yes, father." Lily said with a smile.

The two left the office and made their way over to their remaining deliveries at Squad Ten.

"Do you think he liked it?"

"I am sure he did. I think he was both speechless and trying to keep his emotions in check in front of Third Seat."

Lily smiled as they made their way into Squad Ten.

"Do you think they're both in the office?"

"They'd better be." Rani said as Umeko walked up.

"Hey ladies! Do you need help?"

"PLEASE!" Lily pleaded.

Umeko took the canvas that Lily was trying to get out of the cart. Rani grabbed the other one.

"Are they in the office?"

"Yes, ma'am. Follow me." Umeko said leading the way.

The three made their way up the stairs to the office and found the lieutenant asleep on the couch and Toshiro at his desk.

"Knock knock." Rani said softly.

"Rani!" he said surprised after looking up. He then saw Lily. "What in the world are you two doing here?"

"We've come to make a special delivery." Lily answered smiling. She walked in the office and Rani and Umeko followed. "Umeko, that's the lieutenant's. Rani has Toshiro's."

Umeko smiled and nodded as she gave out a little laugh at Lily's use of her captain's first name.

"MATSUMOTO!" Toshiro yelled waking up his lieutenant.

"Huh? Wha?" she said groggily. "Ah, Umeko. What is that?" she asked as she blinked her eyes a few times.

Umeko just shook her head towards the two guests.

"Lily has a surprise for you two." Rani started to explain.

"Lieutenant, can you open yours first, and then the captain can open his?" Lily asked and requested at the same time.

"S-sure." Rangiku answered. She stood up and walked over the gift to unwrap it. "Aww…you painted Haineko. It's beautiful." Lily smiled as the lieutenant walked over to her and gave her a hug. "Thanks kiddo!"

"You're welcome." Lily said and then turned to the captain in the room. "Your turn."

Toshiro rolled his eyes as he opened his.

"And you painted Daiguren Hyorinmaru for me." he stated. "But how did you know what they looked like, Lily? I know Rani hasn't seen -"

"I had help from Lieutenant Hinamori." Lily interjected.

The two gave Rani a confused look.

"I asked her about the shikais and bankais of about half the captains and lieutenants. She knew what she wanted to paint for the rest." Rani explained nonchalantly.

"Did she suspect or ask questions?"

"Not really. But she was happy with what I gave her." Lily answered. "So…do you like them?"

"I love mine."

"I do too." Toshiro replied causing Lily to smile.

"But who's the last one for in the cart?" Umeko inquired.

"Oh, that's Rani's. I want to give hers to her at home."

"And then we have to get you home after or else Captain Kuchiki will have a fit."

Lily nodded.

"Shall we head out then for the night?" Rani asked Toshiro. "Unless you want to stay here?"

"Nah, I"m done. Rangiku, on the other hand, needs to stay and do her work."

"But Captain!" Rangiku whined.

"Quiet." he barked. "You slept. It's time for you to work. I will see you in the morning."

Once they left Rangiku hurriedly finished her work before calling it a night. Meanwhile, the others, minus Umeko, headed to the Hitsugaya homestead. Once inside, Rani carefully unwrapped her gift.

"OH, Lily-bean!" Rani said in awe.

Before her eyes, Rani saw a family portrait done by Lily. Included were Yasuo and their parents. Rani's birth parents, siblings grandparents, uncle, as well as Lady Sugi and Yoshi.

"Wow, Lily. That is impressive."

"Thanks. I didn't exactly know what to do, but after the whole dream thing, I thought this might be better than anything else I could have and would have painted."

"Do you have a photographic memory or something?" Toshiro inquired.

"Uh…no." she answered with a slight laugh. "Great-grandfather snuck me that chip a couple of times without daddy knowing, and as far as Lady Sugi and Yoshi go, he requested a private visit for me and they happily obliged." she confessed. "But don't tell daddy about the chip. I'll get into trouble."

The couple agreed not to divulge her secret and talked with her for a little while before there was a knock on the door.

"Now, who could that be?" Toshiro questioned.

"As if you can't sense his pressure." Rani joked as she walked over to the door. "Hello Captain Byakuya."

"I've come to take Lily home with me, if that's all right."

"Did you purposely work late tonight, father?" Lily asked as he let himself in.

"I may have." he admitted. "But I also wanted to see what you painted for my lieutenant."

Rani smiled as she turned the painting so he could see it. She then looked over to Lily who looked scared.

"Beautifully done. I can see why this one took longer than the others." Byakuya complimented and then grew quiet.

"Something wrong, Captain Kuchiki?" Toshiro asked.

"No. Just admiring her work." he answered and then turned around. "Shall we go?"

Lily smiled and nodded. She said her farewells to Rani and Toshiro before heading out the door with her father leaving the couple alone.

"So, now what?" she asked.

"Well, dinner obviously. Where do you want to hang yours? We have plenty of wall space." he teased as he glanced at the bare walls.

"I'll have to think about that. I mean, it would be nice having it hung in here so our guests can see it."

"What guests?"

"Funny." she replied. "Come on. I'll make dinner tonight."

He smiled and nodded as he followed her into the kitchen.

Toshiro woke up the next morning before Rani and quickly got ready. He sat back down on the bed and watched his wife sleeping peacefully, which had been a welcome sight as of late. He pushed the small clump of hair off of her eyes and tucked behind her ear. He quickly pulled his hand back when she started to move.

"Morning." she greeted with her eyes still closed.

"Morning. You might want to wake up if you want to have breakfast and get to Squad Six on time."

She fluttered her eyes open and smiled.

"Yeah, I probably should." Rani replied and then stretched. "Are you going to make breakfast?"

"Yes, as long as you get up."

Rani grinned and then slowly sat up.

"I'm up. I'm awake. I'm going to get ready." she commented as she uncovered herself.

Fifteen minutes later, Rani was enjoying breakfast with her husband.

"I have Living World duty starting today for a few days, don't forget." he said as he picked up her finished plate.

"Yeah, I know. If you can, and if you want to, try and find a new kimono for Yoshi's wedding."

"Will do."

"Time to go. I'll see you in a few days." Rani said and then kissed him before leaving.

Rani made it to Squad Six with a few minutes to spare. She saw Lily's painting off to the side of the captain's desk and looked around the office to see where it could be hung, and what could be moved. There was the opportune spot behind her head so he could see it every time he looked up, but she wasn't sure he would want it there or behind his head. She was interrupted mid-thought by a knock on the door.

"Oh, hello Captain Abarai." she greeted with a smile.

"Hey lieutentant, is your captain not in yet?"

"Uh…no. He'll be here soon. What's up?" she asked as Chiharu came in. "Hey Chiharu!"

"Hi Rani. Is that what Lily painted for the captain?"

"Yes. It's one of the cherry blossom trees in Kuchiki Manor."

Renji and Chiharu walked in and over to it.

"Impressive." Renji started. "She painted Soo Zabimaru for me."

"And Aiborikiba for me, but we can't figure out how they knew what they looked like."

"With my, and Momo's, help." Rani confessed as Byakuya came in. "Hello Captain Kuchiki."

"Good morning. Did you bring what I asked, Abarai?"

Chiharu and Rani looked at each other and smiled.

"Yes, I did."

The ladies excused themselves and headed into the smaller office to do their work, where they also chatted about all of Lily's gifts to the captains and lieutenants.

"Wait, so she actually gave Captains Hirako and Otoribashi, and Lieutenant Kuna paintings of their Visored forms?"

"Yeah. Momo's a great artist herself so she was able to draw what they looked like." Rani answered with a small giggle. "Sui-Feng loved the one she received of the butterfly stamp that Suzumebachi forms."

"What was Captain Kuchiki's?"

"Rukia's?" she questioned. Chiharu nodded. "A painting of a family of rabbits since she loves them so much. Lily wanted to paint her bankai, but we didn't know what it looked like."

"Yeah, I don't think I want to know, but I am sure if you asked, she would tell you."

"I might ask her now. All I know is that it's dangerous for her and those she attacks with it."

"You ladies done gossiping?" Renji asked while standing in the doorway.

"Are you done with your captain business?" Chiharu retorted.

"Yes, and I have a surprise for you later." Renji said with an evil grin. "Rani, I'll see you in about two hours. Come on Chiharu." he added with a laugh and then walked away leaving the girls confused and worried.

Chapter Eight

Thank you for reading this story if you have been, though.

~Kirby42280~

#waterfall eclipse II waterfalleclipseII #my fanfiction #Bleach #bleach fanfiction

[biayahlife]

On Transitions

I’ve spent most of this month feeling perpetually behind on all my projects. I’ve missed my self-imposed deadlines repeatedly, and even though some of it has to do with migraines and allergies, a lot of it doesn’t make sense to me. It doesn’t feel like I’m in a slump – I honestly feel more like myself and more together than I have in a while. It’s more like time just keeps slipping. It made me sit and think about what is shifting, and I found myself surprised.

Transitioning into the stay-at-home orders early on in the pandemic didn’t really phase me. I’ve mentioned it here before – I was already working from home, and I’m not the one who goes grocery shopping. The hardest part was not being able to go out for dinner or drinks and no longer having parties. I have plenty of hobbies, and right before the pandemic, I had done a supply run and had plenty of projects lined up. Staying at home wasn’t a surprise for me the way it was for others, and I wasn’t in a position where I was searching for ways to fill my time – I already had those sorts of things set up for myself. What I didn’t realise was how much of my time I was gradually shifting into my hobbies and home life (home life sounds a little silly, but I’m not sure how else to describe it) until we got vaccinated and started doing more things outside our home again.

One of things I firmly believe is that contentment is something that requires work. When the pandemic continued to stretch out, I started, unconsciously I think, to create a space at home that would make me content to stay at home. Sure, I still went through periods of restlessness and moodiness, but I’m content to stay home. I created a system where I only had to leave the house once, maybe twice a week tops, and it’s been working. We’ve had lots of things go wrong this year, but while 2020 feels a bit like a lost year to me, 2021 feels like a total train wreck to me.

Don’t get me wrong – I miss seeing people. I miss dinners out and parties. I have never been much of one for phone calls in my adult life, and texting has never been my forte. I’m thankful Becky and I live together, otherwise, I’m not entirely certain how well I would have handled any part of the pandemic. I’m really excited that it’s no longer terrifying to go out dinner or to go to a store (Target anyone?). We’re getting to spend time with family and friends again, and that’s really cool. I’m in a great mood all the time. I can have conversations with people in bookstores and go to home improvement stores. We went to the local craft store and spent more than 15 minutes inside. The thing is, I still only have the same 24 hours in a day that everyone else has. I realise that a lot of my projects have been completed so quickly because I haven’t had to factor in time spent outside the home into my timelines in over a year.

Somewhere in my brain I knew that there would be a post-pandemic transition just like there was a transition into the pandemic. I’m not itching to get out and do all of the things all of the time like so many people I know. I’ve become surprisingly happy with my small world bubble, even though I want to be able to transition back into the activities I enjoyed pre-pandemic. The first time we feel safe throwing a big party will be really awesome. That said, I’m suddenly having to re-adjust how I think about my time. It didn’t feel like I had to do that when we were moving into the pandemic. I didn’t have to think about filling my hours – I could simply get lost in the things I enjoy for longer periods of time. I could leave different projects in different parts of the house because no one was coming over.

We’ve been spending more spontaneous time outside our house. Delivery services have fewer drivers available, and delivery fees are going up. Going out to dinner involves drive time and time spent at a location. During the pandemic, we could order dinner, and even if it took an hour to get here, it was an hour I could still spend working on a project. I absolutely want to have this normal that looks more like pre-pandemic times, but I have to adjust my expectations about my project timelines. Over the course of the pandemic, the lines between work, projects, and life have gotten a bit blurry because I spend all my time at home. Now I have to adjust back to some more delineated boundaries. Frankly, our dogs do as well. They get really weird when we go out for longer periods of time, and it occurred to me that they haven’t had to contend with us leaving the house regularly for over a year.

As we’re transitioning into post-pandemic times, laying out boundaries and adjusting expectations is more important than ever. I’m still not comfortable not wearing a mask even though I’m vaccinated. Being around people has always been relaxing to me, but right now, there’s some underlying anxiety exists when I’m around people. Noise never really bothered me, but now I’m aware just how quiet my days are. Our pups are used to quiet days, and are broadly used to delivery people. We all have to adjust our idea of normal again, and change, no matter how positive, is still change, and we still have to adjust. I had planned to have a completed project post for today, but that didn’t happen. It wasn’t for lack of trying, but rather a decision to spend my time differently. We went out to dinner. We went to the store. That was spending time together outside of the house. It was time for a good conversation while doing things that needed doing. I’m so glad we got to do those things, and I absolutely wouldn’t change it. My project isn’t complete. At the end of the day, the project will still be there, and I’d rather spend the quality one on one time with the people that matter to me.

What sorts of things are in transition for you?

[ciathyzareposts]

Journey: Won! (with Summary and Rating)

The winning screen you’ve been desperately anticipating for 8 years.

            Journey

United States

Infocom (developer and publisher)

Released in 1989 for DOS, Amiga, Apple II, and Macintosh

Date Started: 20 March 2011

Date Finished: 21 May 2019

Total Hours: 23 (including 9 in 2011) Difficulty: Hard (4/5) Final Rating: (to come later) Ranking at time of posting: (to come later)               

Yeah, this one requires some explanation.            

I was sitting around the other night trying to decide what game to play with the couple hours I had available. I had made some progress with Kingdom of Syree but wasn’t loving it (it’s another Ultima clone), and I was holding out hope I could dispense with it in a single entry. The self-imposed deadline for my next entry was looming and it didn’t look like I’d be able to win that fast. At the same time, I wasn’t keen to start on a complicated game like Darklands. So I did a quick scan of all the games I’d skipped and abandoned over the years to see if I could find a quick win. House of Usher (1980) looked promising, then The Amulet (1983), but both ended up as “NP” (and on my “Missing and Mysterious” list) when I couldn’t get them to emulate.

My eyes then fell on Journey, an adventure game that I blogged about in 2011. By the time I was a few hours into it, I realized it wasn’t even really an RPG (and MobyGames has since removed that designation). But I’d numbered and rated it anyway, so its loss was counting against my statistics. I began to wonder what the problem was. How hard is it to win a freaking adventure game? Why would I have abandoned it? Was I too proud to get a hint? How long could it possibly take to turn this loss around? That last question was particularly important because, as often happens, at this point I had spent longer trying to find a “quick win” than it would have taken me to just play a regular game.

           Infocom called this a “role-play chronicle.” What does that even mean?

            I read my first and second entries from 2011 and began to remember the title, as well as the core problem: you have to reach the endgame with a sufficient number of reagents still in your possession, or you can’t cast the final spells necessary to win. Since there are a fixed number of reagents to find during the game and plenty of opportunities to use them, you can put yourself in a “walking dead” situation as early as the first 5 minutes and not know until you reach the end, two or three hours later. I was apparently so disgusted with that prospect that I refused to re-start and took the loss. I was more willing to do that in 2011 than I am now.

So I restarted Journey with a willingness to play it through a couple of times if necessary, and it wasn’t long before my “quick win” had taken over not just my few allotted hours but rather the entire afternoon, evening, and night until about 03:00. During this time, I restarted not once or twice but about 30 times, filled pages with notes about cause and effect, broke down and consulted two walkthroughs and still couldn’t win because the walkthroughs were wrong, and finally–14 hours after I started–ended up with the set of actions necessary to get a party from the beginning to the end. And make no mistake–there really is only one.

            In case you forgot, Journey is the game that canonically establishes that orcs and grues are the same thing.

           By the end, I had a much clearer picture of the game than I did in 2011, and I reached an obvious conclusion that I’m surprised I missed back then: this is the worst adventure game ever made.            

Journey hides this fact with nice graphics and typical Infocom-quality prose, but the game’s approach is all wrong–fundamentally an insult to anyone who cut his teeth on both text adventures like Zork and graphical adventures like King’s Quest. Every option it suggests is a complete sham, every hint of an RPG influence a complete farce. And its story isn’t even that original–so much is lifted from Tolkien that he ought to have a co-author credit.

            I feel like I’ve seen this somewhere before . . .

          Journey (whose subtitle of The Quest Begins exists only on the box, not the game screens) tells the story of a ragtag band of village peasants who set off on a quest to determine why their crops have failed and their water has gone foul. A better-equipped, better-qualified band, led by the village blacksmith, Garlimon, left the same village the previous year and was never heard from again. This new effort is headed by the village carpenter, Bergon, and includes a wizard named Praxix, a physician named Esher, and a young apprentice food merchant named Tag. The game is mostly told from Tag’s perspective, and the game lets you rename him in its one nod to RPG-like “character creation.”

             The party later finds Garlimon insane and living as a hermit.

              The title differs from previous Infocom outings in that you do not type any of the commands. Instead, you select them with the arrow keys from an interface that distinguishes between high-level party commands (most of which move you to a new place or situation) and micro-level individual commands, aspected to the skills and abilities of each character. Thus, the party leader, Bergon, can almost always “Ask for Advice.” Praxix has a perpetual “Cast” option, and Tag has most of the inventory options. I find the interface inoffensive, but not as revolutionary as the developers were clearly intending.

             Some of the options in dealing with a party of orcs.

          The party’s initial quest is simply to find their way to a powerful wizard named Astrix who lives on Sunrise Mountain. Once they arrive, Astrix explains that the land is being threatened by the return of the Dread Lord, and he gives the party a quest to find seven magical stones. They must first find four (Nymph, Wizard, Dwarf, and Elf), which will lead them two others, which will lead to the final one, called the Anvil. Astrix believes that the stones are the key to defeating the Dread Lord. In their quest to find them, the party has to negotiate with dwarves, befriend elves, defeat bands of orcs, and explore ancient tombs. In these adventures, they make use of the special skills of several NPCs that swap in and out of the party.

              Astrix gives the party its final quest.

           If they recover the first six stones, Astrix tells them to seek the Anvil on the Misty Isle. The party must travel to the port city of Zan, dodge agents of the Dread Lord, and convince a captain to take them to the Misty Isle. Praxix has to cast some spells to help the ship navigate. Eventually, the ship crashes on the island and the Dread Lord attacks. Praxix is knocked unconscious, and Tag must figure out how to mix the right reagents to call a lightning bolt and smite the Dread Lord.

              Tag saves the party in the final combat.

          Just about every episode has some Tolkien source, though mercifully not in the same order as The Hobbit or Lord of the Rings. There’s a dwarven mine that recalls Moria and an escape that not only feels but also looks like the bridge at Khazad-dûm. Another moment recalls the discovery of Balin’s tomb. A ranger named Minar joins the party early on in an Aragornesque episode. There are echoes of Gandalf in Astrix and of Bilbo in the initially-hapless but ultimately-competent Tag. There’s an episode that mirrors the Fellowship hiding from evil crows, and a tense episode in a tavern at the end that recalls the hobbits in the inn at Bree (the solution even involves turning one of them invisible). There’s a Tom Bombadil-like figure named Umber whose nature remains a mystery until the end. The Dread Lord is, of course, an exact analogue of Sauron, and the stones are the game’s equivalent of rings.

              Crebain from Dunland!

Tag, just like Frodo, freaks out when he sees some suspicious characters in the Prancing Pony. If they stay at the inn tonight, the party will be killed.

            The whole thing is reasonably well-written and would make a serviceable young adult novel, but as a game, it’s nothing but endless frustration. Here is a small list of its sins:

1. It is completely linear. The one saving grace of difficult adventure games is that they are rarely linear. Usually, you can move back and forth between locations and solve puzzles in a variety of orders, taking the time to figure out what must be done in each place. Journey subverts this tradition entirely. You have to choose the right options the first time you arrive in a new location or you cannot return. For instance, there’s one castle where you have the option to go to a left room or a right room. If you go to the right room, you see a chest full of jewels. If you’re not exactly sure what to do there and leave the room, you can never enter it again. This happens repeatedly throughout the game.          

The second screen invites you to enter a tavern or “Proceed” down the street. In any other adventure game you’ve ever played, if you proceed down the street, you can later turn around and go back to the tavern. Not here. Hit “Proceed,” and you’re out of town and on your way. It’s pretty easy to hit some of these options accidentally, by the way; one too many ENTERs while scrolling through text will accidentally activate the default option on the next screen. An “undo” option could have helped a lot.

2. A “Back” option doesn’t really take you “back.” Most screens have a “back” option, and sometimes this returns you to a previous screen so you can choose a different direction. But much of the time, it serves as simply another way to go, usually one-way.

          A simple choice to go left or right has enormous consequences for the rest of the game.

       3. You’re almost always walking dead. As I previously mentioned, if you don’t reach the end of the game with the right number of spell reagents, you can’t win. It is very easy to miss some of the reagents that you might otherwise pick up along the way, and also very easy to accidentally burn too many reagents casting spells. One of the options that burns too many reagents, by the way, is asking the wizard to “Tell the Legends” of magic. Usually, the “Tell Legends” option produces some useful lore about the game world, but if you ask him about magic, he does a little magic demonstration as part of his tale, which wastes necessary reagents.            

The reagents are the most egregious example, but there are plenty of others. Fail to purchase a map early in the game–a map that the shopkeeper himself encourages you not to purchase–and you can’t find your way to Astrix. Fail to ask a dwarf companion about some elf legends at the right time, and you don’t have the right words to speak to an elf woman and thus miss your chance to get the Elf Stone. Fail to do a number of things just right in an early encounter with a nymph and you miss the Nymph Stone. Fail to accept a suspicious character into the party early in the game, and you miss later encounters because you don’t have his scouting skill.

          The shopkeeper tells you that a required inventory item won’t help you.

           Not only does the game give you no warning when something like this happens, but lots of other things happen that seem like they might be mistakes. In particular, party members disappear, get lost, get wounded, and even die on occasion, and you feel like you need to reload–only to discover, 20 turns later, that you can find or heal them in a different location.          

4. Some of the walking dead criteria make no sense. Except in a single place where the dwarf Hurth has to “die” (or seem to die) only to be found alive again later, no character can die in a successful game, even if that character is no longer needed. This particularly bit me towards the end, in the city of Zan. If you don’t do the exact sequence of events correctly in several locations, the Dread Lord’s thugs are able to find your party and kill Hurth before the rest of the party members can escape. Even though Hurth’s skills are no longer needed for the rest of the game, his death prevents you from winning.        

5. Not only do you get no notifications of walking dead situations, a lot of text is wasted in such situations. It feels like fully half of the game’s text would never be seen by a party destined to win because such text only appears when the party is already walking dead. There are entire areas of the game that, if you enter and experience any of the adventures to be had there, you’ve already gone the wrong way and cannot win.

           A lot of text and programming–not to mention the graphics–went into a battle you’re not even supposed to fight. You’re meant to take a different path.

          6. A lot of the options are completely nonsensical. Basically, on every screen, at every option, and at every encounter, you have to try every potential option and note the result–keeping in mind that its implications might not be fully realized for several scenes–and then try to assemble the “best” list of options in the right order. Some of the “successful” options you’d never hit upon by logic alone. Most involve the use of spells. For instance, Praxix encounters a stump on the ground in his explorations. If he casts “Tremor,” the stump splits and reveals a passage into the Earth. It’s both nonsensical to assume (without any other evidence) that such a passage would be revealed, and that “Tremor” would be the spell to reveal it. Later, you have to use the “Wind” spell in a random cave to reveal a hidden rune. Other encounters force you to discern at the outset whether you can cast a regular spell or need the extra “oomph” that comes from mixing the regular spell with grey powder, only the game has given you no gauge to determine the normal strength of spells.

7. The game randomizes some variables. Even if you can make an exhaustive list of the “right” options in the “right” orders, you’ll still lose the game because each new session randomizes some of the variables. The most obvious is early in the game, when you’re trying to navigate the paths to get to Asterix’s tower. There are six choices of left or right, or 64 possible total paths, and you don’t know if you’ve chosen right or wrong until you arrive. Each new game generates a different combination of correct paths. Now, technically you can bypass this navigation by casting a “Glow” spell on the map you hopefully purchased in the first town, but after a few sessions of this game, you’re so paranoid about conserving reagents that you’re more likely to sigh and start working your way through all 64 possible combinations.

            The name of the boat captain you need to ask for at the end of the game is also randomized.

            One of the things that the game randomizes is the color of the reagents that correspond with the different “essences”: wind, fire, water, earth, and so forth. At the end of the game, Tag has to figure out what reagents to mix, and only a throw-away line in an earlier scene about brushing some color of powder from his hands keeps him from, again, having to reload multiple times and work through dozens of possibilities. 

            Failing to note the “fine orange residue” early in the game makes it nearly impossible to cast the final spell.

          The one nod the game makes to its own difficulty is by letting you view Tag’s “musings” once you’ve lost the game. This screen lets you go one-by-one through all the things you did wrong, but only those things that led to your particular demise, and even then it’s maddeningly vague with advice like “conserve reagents,” not “you used reagents when you didn’t have to in this specific place.”

               Tag muses on the many things the party did wrong.

          Given all I’ve described, I have to highlight this particular paragraph from the game manual:

              Your Journey will provide you with many hours of enjoyment and many hundreds of difficult decisions. But unlike other games you may have played, there are virtually no dead ends. Any action you take will advance the story toward one of its many endings. But there is only one ending that is the best.

           I’ve never read such a blatant lie in a game manual before. There are no “alternate” endings–every single ending except the victory screen above has the main character reflecting on the literal destruction of the world. And the only way it can say that “there are virtually no dead ends” is because the damned game lets you keep on playing as long as possible even when you’re in an unwinnable situation. That’s not a virtue!

           “Not a dead end.”

         These various failings are why it took me ultimately 23 hours to win a game that only lasts about 1 hour if you hit all the right options. And that’s with using walkthroughs to help in some areas. With Journey, what you basically have is a cruel Choose Your Own Adventure book that you have to read 25 times, each time getting maybe an extra paragraph. It’s barely a “computer” game, and of course certainly not an RPG. It has no character development, hardly any inventory, and the combats are all scripted.

           The most frustrating part is, I’m the only one who sees how bad this is! In the June 1989 Computer Gaming World, Roe Adams–Roe &@&$*# Adams!–practically wets himself, calling it “the best effort to date of any game designer struggling to find a new way for the game to interface with the player,” although he does caution about the use of reagents and mentions some of the more illogical puzzles. He seems to have been seduced by the interface–which is innovative but not all that great–and the plenitude of the graphics. European Amiga magazines gave it in the 80s and 90s.        

Only more modern reviewers have failed to be lured in by its promises. In 1998, All Game Guide rated it a 40, called it “shallow,” rejected its RPG credentials, and said that “it fails to take advantage of what a reactive computer can do that a non-reactive book cannot.”

            When I got done typing all of this and started searching for other modern takes on the game, I was delighted to see that Jimmy Maher (“The Digital Antiquarian”) had covered it in 2016. As I read his piece, he at first scared the bejesus out of me by calling his initial reactions “a unique and very pleasant experience.” But his opinion evolves as he plays, and eventually we get to the good stuff:

         [T]here inevitably comes a point when you realize that everything Infocom has been saying about their game and everything the game has been implying about itself is a lie. Far from being the more easy-going sort of text adventure that it’s purported to be, Journey is a minefield of the very dead ends it decries, a cruel betrayal of everything it supposedly stands for. It turns out that there is exactly one correct path through the dozens of significant choices you make in playing the game to completion. Make one wrong choice and it’s all over. Worse–far worse–more often than not you are given no clue about the irrecoverable blunder you’ve just made. You might play on for hours before being brought up short.

         When I rated it in 2011, I gave it a 23 without even bothering to explain the GIMLET. I don’t know what I was thinking with some of the ratings. I gave it 2 points for “character creation and development” when it deserves 0 and 4 points for “magic and combat” when it deserves maybe 2 (some of the uses of magic to solve puzzles are at least well-described). A revision brings the score down to 17. It does best in the “game world” (3) despite being derivative, and in the graphics, which are credited to Donald Langosy. I agree with Adams that they’re well-composed, and the game didn’t skimp on them: practically every scene has a different set. 

           Evocative graphics are one of the game’s few positives.

           The most surprising thing about Journey is that it was written by Infocom-founder Marc Blank, author of the original Zork series as well as the Enchanter series and several other Infocom titles. It certainly has his quality of prose, but it’s hard to believe that he didn’t understand why the basic approach was so much worse than the open-world games for which he was famous. Maher’s account of the game’s development suggests that the developers were in love with the interface: “an experiment to find out whether you could play an interactive story without having to type.” There’s nothing wrong with that, but it doesn’t explain why the interface had to so relentlessly drive the player forward, to punish him so severely for minor mistakes, and to waste so much of his time in unwinnable scenarios. Fortunately, it didn’t begin a trend. I like to think that Blank himself was dissatisfied with the result, which is why we saw no more games in the “Golden Age Trilogy,” as the secondary title screen has it. 

                 I like to think that the next two would have been Destination and Return.

            So there it is. In an attempt to get a “quick win,” I managed to waste a lot of time and get myself highly frustrated on a non-RPG, for no benefit except to increase my “win” percentage by 0.31%. This does not bode well for an eventual return visit to, say, Wizardry IV, but we’ll see.

         source http://reposts.ciathyza.com/journey-won-with-summary-and-rating/

#retro games #dos games #retro #crpg #adventure #amiga #oldcomputers #8bit #16bit #blog #repost

[frenchpuppiess]

Author of my life.

CONFIDENCE.

HAPPINESS.

It’s funny how my "greatest" ambitions and desires are often conceived during the exam season. I often find myself highly motivated and empowered, to want to take my life up to a higher level. I often get a rather clear view of my life as a big picture, of where I am, where I'd like to be. This big picture perspective is refreshing. It's familiar, yet not a common scene in my head in my everyday ordinary. 

Perhaps not "conceived", but rather "reminded". All of a sudden, in my supposedly deprived state where my mind is rather forbidden to wander but stay 100% (or 60% - let's be real) focused, I feel a refreshing sense of empowerment and drive to use what I have in my hands, to fulfil what is in my heart. It's exhilarating and so tempting, as I anticipate to further build/enhance my identity, & discover more of what sets me free.

I suppose, as I strip away other distractions/commitments/engagements/trying to figure out life, & intend to stay committed to one thing, it incidentally gives me the opportunity to spend time to get reacquainted with my raw self too.

As I was reminded again yesterday, I was determined to pen it down because I realised I tend to forget them when exams are over, only to find myself returning to this place of familiarity of unachieved dreams & desires clouding over me, again some time in the future. Haha, then I'd get exasperated, & go "Oh shucks, i really want to do this, but I really can't do it/anything now.."

Yesterday I felt a tinge of confidence revitalizing my veins. I now look forward to doing the Bar, that I heard has many exams and deadlines all year long, but am excited because I really need that training of consistency, discipline and excellence in my life. I look forward to going to a new place not knowing anyone, yet being honest, real, open & learning, if not straightaway embrace the season of meeting new people, letting go of control, & let life happen on its own course - whilst playing an active role of discovery and exploration of new things, instead of a passive role of constantly trying to make sense of things..

I really want to learn the guitar!!!

I'd like to do something different again, that relinquishes control from myself, to be inspired, and humbled again. (e.g. go to a camp where I know no one, meet new people & exercise being comfortable in my own skin) (I desired this too even in 2013, 2014, 2015 etc... always happens when I blog during exam time :P) (speaking of which, I tend to blog more during exams lol)

I want to learn to be comfortable in my own skin.

I want to grow to be able to inspire women/young girls out there.

I suppose that's it for now! 

I have been constantly reminded of God's goodness and faithfulness in these recent few days through a retrospective glance, a round trip perspective. Looking back, I suddenly recognized God's hands in me and my family's life, that's brought us to where we are now. Looking back, there were many many many, innumerable, scenes where I find myself lost, confused, not doing good enough and constantly questioned myself & my being & my purpose. I remember constantly imposing on God a deadline to give me an answer I needed at every (most, maybe) crossroad e.g. asking God to give me a clear answer by 4/4, cuz that's when I'm expected to respond to my BPTC offer. Yet, looking back, it certainly looks like the ideal holistic plan, that's woven and knitted together perfectly, & everything seems to make sense - not just about my own life, but with my family's as well. Suddenly, I recognized God's hands even in the ordinary, 'small', casual little decisions, (e.g. making a quick & easy decision to attend Bloom - to hear from YB Hannah - to decide to try internship, was't like a "BIG BIG" decision - to find myself longing to serve my country in my lifetime) instead of God responding during the "big" moments - e.g. deciding for college/uni/bar. I’m grateful that despite living unknowingly, God still persistently continuously gives us opportunities to employ faith, the chance to keep sowing/investing into a greater future with Him, not just me but my whole family as well - even when we don’t realize it, or don’t acknowledge Him, or still stubborn in our own ways. Gosh, He remains faithful & ever so loving.

A wave of comfort flooded through me, as I realized again, that God exists beyond time and space. And looking back, God's plan is really perfect and works holistically.. That my timing isn't His. And He'd stop time for me, if He really needs to. 

For the moments I felt super lost and uncertain of, I was still led into stepping into His plan, even without me (or anyone at all) knowing. e.g. going to KL to do my A-Levels & first 2 years of uni. This time has brought me and my family, so, so much closer. My dad and mum were both sick at some points in their lives to which I’m glad I was nearby in KL. This KL experience has also grown our relationship with my brother too. A big part of the growth of relationship between me and my dad is also made up by me driving him for work, & how this started can be attributed to just a young teen who just got her license, & is eager to drive everywhere, but can only drive under parents’ supervision (how amusing, subtle, sneaky yet immaculate plan God has). Had it not been for the rough patches in uni, I probably wouldn't have given Acts an opportunity big enough to touch my life, & a quick example, I wouldn't have attended Bloom - did internship with YB - & discover a "calling" or a greater purpose in my identity.

God's just being God man.

Looking back, I had no idea at all that anything I was going to do then, would make any sense in my future, super unsure and unconfident that they would generate interests landing me pots of gold in the future. 

Really, only God knows what this law degree is going to do for me (correction, for Him) in due time. (gosh, I miss Maths soooo much!!! *cries* the more I study, the more I miss Maths haha)

Two takeaways from all this: 

1) we can either can give credits to the Big Man up there who orchestrates things in our lives immaculately for His purpose, for the good things in our lives, for our blessings, or we can regard the good things in our lives as a product of plentiful coincidences, or “luck” - but if we do that, we miss out on God’s hand & intervention in our lives.

2) when we choose to trust God with our lives, He is already directing our paths, paving ways, step by step, in fulfilling His purpose for us. We’re just probably young, lost, confused and just can’t see it, & think we’re too smart & cause ourselves to believe that God’s not working in our lives. (by “us” & “we”, i really just mean “me”/”I” :P)

“You love him even though you have never seen him. Though you do not see him now, you trust him; & you rejoice with a glorious, inexpressible joy. The reward for trusting him will be the salvation of your souls.” (1 Pet 1:8-9)

P.S. Am totally digging this series by Pktfuel! (I love their series in general, but especially love this) The first time I did this series on this topic spoke to my heart, it was so profound, such compelling truth. I’m happy and grateful to be reminded of it again this week.  https://www.pktfuel.com/everyday-ordinary/ 

Anyway, so much for a short update. But gotta go off before I go too far off now! Till the next time, xx.