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#I know that’s not like. Good good.
undeadhousewife · a month ago
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So I was talking to my husband about how the queen is in the hospital and I casually said "prepare the crabs" and let me tell you, that is how I learned the crab rave isn't as widely known as I had assumed
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#selfie bee#a big thank you to everyone who is drawing characters who usually do not wear black nailpolish with black nailpolish!!#it's very good!!#I always feel very cool with black nailpolish#my fingers might be greasy as the iPad repair man said last month#but they can be greasy and cool#friends I am now officially graduated!!#I could finally pick up the certificate this week#I have technically been graduated for a while now but when I asked the secretary people when the certificate would be done they just said#that they don't know because they just got a new computer system and don't know how to do certificates yet#but they figured it out last week and said that I could come#but not go inside#because this certificate office is in like this cellar underground#and because of Corona no one is allowed in there which is understandable#I can stand outside a cellar if they want#but people are also not allowed to stand outside the usual door#I had to find a different special door#and they wrote to me that this door would be locked and that I should call them so you know they could open it#and then I would be led to a different door that would also be locked#there was no further information about what to do with that door#so I was at the building but I had problems finding the special door and I got scared because the time to pick up the certificate#was almost up for the week#and then I found the door! and a man was going inside it#so I just yelled 'CAN I GO INSIDE TOO' and he said '...yes?' so I went inside#I felt a little bad because now I was in the cellar and had not called anyone#so I was just about to call them and tell them 'sorry I am kind of in your cellar'#but then a girl found me and just asked me what I wanted and I told her and she said 'okay'#then she opened a door to the hallway nearby#went inside#stopped at an open office door
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colemckenzies · 3 months ago
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what's your 'thing' as a friend. i don't mean like 'oh im the mom friend' i mean like what's the Thing where if one of your friends was looking for a specific interaction they'd message you first. personally i can always be relied upon to get hyped about bugs, literature, and cursed internet images.
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badcode · a month ago
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1. Train to Busan (2016) dir. Yeon Sang-ho 2. The 100 1x01 - “Pilot” (2014) dir. Bharat Nalluri 3. Manifest Destiny #5 (2014) written by Chris Dingess, art by Matthew Roberts & Owen Gieni / 4. The Low, Low Woods #1 (2020) written by Carmen Maria Machado, art by Dani 5. Hannibal 1x05 - “Coquilles” (2013) dir. Guillermo Navarro 6. Annihilation (2018) dir. Alex Garland 7. Princess Mononoke (1997) dir. Hayao Miyazaki 8. The Ritual (2017) dir. David Bruckner 9. The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt illustration by Marek Madej / 10. Fallout 4 concept art by Ray Lederer 11. Hannibal 3x02 - “Primavera” (2015) dir. Vincenzo Natali 12. Get Out (2017) dir. Jordan Peele [Deleted Scene]
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I suspect quite a few people on this site don’t realize they are struggling with the effects of chronic trauma. In particular I think more people need to learn about the symptoms of C-PTSD.
Distinct from general PTSD, Complex PTSD is caused by prolonged, recurring stress and trauma, often occurring in childhood & adolescence over an extended period of time. There are many risk factors, including: abusive/negligent caregivers, dysfunctional family life, untreated mental/chronic illness, and being the target of bullying/social alienation.
I’m not a mental health professional and I’m not qualified to diagnose anyone, I just remember a million watt light bulb going off in my head when I first learned about C-PTSD. It was a huge OH MY FUCKING WORD eureka moment for me—it explained all these problems I was confused and angry at myself for having. The symptoms that really stood out to me were:
Negative self-perception: deep-seated feelings of shame, guilt, worthlessness, helplessness, and stigma. Feeling like you are different from everyone else, like something is fundamentally ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ with you.
Emotional avoidance of topics, people, relationships, activities, places, things etc that might cause uncomfortable emotions such as shame, fear, or sadness. Can lead to self-isolation.
Learned helplessness: a pervasive sense of powerlessness, often combined with feelings of desensitization, wherein you gradually stop trying to escape or prevent your own suffering, even when opportunities exist. May manifest as self-neglect or self-sabotage. (I remember watching myself make bad choices and neglect my responsibilities, and having no idea why I was doing it, or how to stop myself. Eventually I just stopped caring, which led to more self-neglect.)
Hyper-vigilance: always feeling “on edge,” alert, unable to relax even in spaces that should feel safe. May be combined with an elevated “flight” response, or feelings of always being prepared to flee. (I used to hide important documents and possessions in a sort of emergency go bag, even when I was living alone and there was no logical reason other than it made me feel “prepared.”)
Difficulty regulating emotions: may include mood swings, persistent numbness, sadness, suicidal idealization, explosive anger (or inability to feel anger and other strong emotions), inability to control your emotions, confusion about why you react the way you do.
Sense of foreshortened future: assuming or feeling that you will die young. Recurring thoughts that "I'll be dead before the age of 30/40/18/21 etc." As a teenager I used to joke darkly that I didn't plan to live past 30—not because I planned to end my life, but because I simply couldn't imagine myself alive and happy in the long-term. I couldn't imagine a meaningful future where I wasn't suffering.
Emotional flashbacks: finding yourself suddenly re-experiencing feelings of helplessness, panic, despair, or anger etc, often without understanding what has triggered these feelings. Often these flashbacks don’t clearly relate to the memory of a single event (since C-PTSD is caused by repetitive events, which can blur together), making them harder to identify as flashbacks—especially if you’ve never heard the phrase “emotional flashback” and don’t know what to look for. For years I just filed it under “sometimes I overreact/freak out randomly for no reason, probably bc I am just a terrible human being.” (It turns out there was very much a reason, it was just hidden in the past. I have since learned to be kinder and less judgemental towards myself.)
There are other symptoms too, here are more links with good info.
I’ve been meaning to write this post for awhile, because I’ve noticed that a lot of the people I interact with online have risk factors and experiences similar to mine. These include:
growing up in a dysfunctional household
having caregivers who do not fulfill basic emotional needs (do not provide consistent positive attention, encouragement, support, acceptance, communication, a sense of safety and security)
on a very related note, experiencing neglect or abuse at the hand of caregivers or other adults. I also want to emphasize the significance of emotional abuse, since it is hard to recognize, easy to ignore, and utterly rampant in so many communities. In general, family dysfunction, abuse & neglect are quite difficult to identify when you are a child/teen and that is the only “normal” you have known.
(For example, in my family it manifested as an emotionally absent father I was vaguely frightened of, constant nagging from a hypercritical mother, and a house full of people who yelled and screamed at each other. It took me years to realize I grew up in an abusive environment, because there was no physical violence, because I participated in the fighting, and because my behavioral problems made me the family scapegoat. And I internalized that guilt: I thought I was the problem. But no—I was a child, and I deserved not to grow up in a household full of anger and fear and negativity. You deserved that too. You deserved to grow up safe and loved and treated with kindness.) 
anyway back to more risk factors:
being neurodivergent or chronically ill (especially without receiving proper treatment/support/accommodation)
being queer (especially in a conservative or undiverse community, or without the support and acceptance of family & friends)
being the target of bullying or harassment (from peers, teachers, authority figures, irl, online, etc)
being isolated or alienated from peers, from family, from your wider community.
growing up with chronic anxiety, discomfort, pain, fear, or distress caused by any of the above and more.
There are many other experiences that can cause chronic trauma, but these are some particularly common ones I see people in my own community struggling with. And I want more people to be aware of this, because we’ve been taught to ignore and second-guess the significance of our traumatic experiences. We’ve been taught to feel guilty for our own pain, because “other people aren’t struggling, so I shouldn’t either” or (contradictorily) “other people have it worse, so I shouldn’t complain.” But that’s not how it works—you are not other people, and you deserve to have it better. We all deserve better. We deserve to be happy. We deserve not to be in pain.
I used to think I couldn’t have a trauma disorder because (I argued in my head) the things that happened to me weren’t that bad. And then I spent five years in therapy learning to accept the full extent of my issues. I’ve since learned that trauma comes in many forms, and can happen quietly, invisibly, silently, chronically, and usually without the survivor being aware of the long-term repercussions of what they are surviving. That revelation comes later, after you have survived and must instead learn to live.
Finally, no single type of trauma is more real or harmful than any other. Severity is measured by the way the individual is affected, and the same situations affect different people in different ways. Because no one gets to choose how their brain reacts to trauma. No one gets to choose their hurt—otherwise there would be a hell of a lot less hurting in the world.
We can, however, choose to seek help. We can learn to recognize when something is wrong, we can learn when to reach out to professionals, and we can learn to educate ourselves on our injuries.
And gradually, we can learn to heal.
(posts like this brought to you by ko-fi supporters)
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willowcoded · 2 months ago
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jensen ackles sucks karl marx good and hard through his jorts
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sharkpositive · 8 months ago
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The truth is, sometimes you will hurt people. Sometimes, you will hurt people, and then life will move on, and you won’t have any way to apologize, or make up for it. But, your past mistakes do not define who you are now. You are allowed to move on without guilt haunting you over things you might have done years ago. You are allowed to come to terms with the things you did that were wrong, to change, and to grow from those experiences; you will never be stuck in one spot if you will yourself to own up to it, pull yourself up, and start again.
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nothorses · 6 months ago
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I cannot stress enough that I fundamentally distrust callout posts, and I will distrust you if you send them to me.
Don't get me wrong: I investigate warnings, and I act on them if they're true and relevant. But callout posts are, on a very fundamental level, not about what people say they're about. There are exceptions, but generally speaking they're made for one or more of the following reasons:
OP didn't like the subject to begin with (often for bigoted reasons), and they wanted a reason, and a following, to justify and validate that.
OP wanted to gain popularity, so they made themselves look like either a victim, a hero, or both.
OP wanted to claim victim status in a private falling-out in order to preserve good standing with their own friends/their community.
OP didn't like what the subject was saying, and wanted to silence them (often for bigoted reasons).
OP genuinely just wants "revenge" on the subject, or otherwise wants to ruin their reputation and have them sent harassment.
Again, there are exceptions: there are "callouts" that just unravel a subject's lies, or point out problems in already public actions. If OP is claiming to have been personally victimized in a legitimately serious way, and especially one that indicates the subject might be a danger to others, I'm definitely more willing to believe it- one obvious example being sexual violence.
But oftentimes, callouts are incredibly personal, misleading, emotionally manipulative, blatantly untrue, or all of the above.
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This person came to me on anon; I have absolutely no way of knowing what their motives are or how trustworthy they are. There is no credibility or accountability here.
And I did read the post. Lo and behold, it's riddled with emotionally manipulative language, false accusations, and the biggest reaches I've ever seen:
"DON'T READ THIS CALLOUT, IT'S SO TRIGGERING TO EVERYONE, JUST TAKE MY WORD FOR IT. But the proof is here if you REALLY don't believe me"
"Proof" is a scarce handful of screenshots taken out of context that contain emotionally evocative language, but do not support the accusations at all.
Some accusations are genuinely just weird logic leaps with no support, others are matters of personal opinion obviously driven by bigoted motives.
OP themselves expresses very publicly that they believe people who are marginalized in the ways the subject are, who speak on that marginalization, should be silenced.
I try to assume good faith here, and I want to believe this anon was just guilt-tripped and manipulated by the post in question. I don't hold any ill will here.
But anon, I want you to ask yourself:
Are the accusations you're making something you have personally investigated and found to be true?
Does this person deserve the harassment and ostracization they will likely receive as a result of your accusations?
Will you hold yourself accountable for the damage you've caused if you're wrong?
And if you're absolutely certain you're right, come off anon and talk to me as a human being; because I can't believe you're ready to be accountable for these accusations if you won't even put your Tumblr blog behind them.
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uncanny-tranny · a month ago
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If cis people are allowed to love their bodies and be "conceited" without it being a commentary on their existence, so can trans people.
I am allowed to love my body. I am allowed to love the parts of me that make me feel good about me. Just like some cis men, I like my body hair. I like my voice more. I like having a flat chest when I bind. I like when I feel good packing. It is literally me loving a body that I have so often felt alienated and isolated by and from. My body is a good body. My body is a trans body. And trans bodies are good bodies.
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enbyeddiediaz · 2 months ago
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while I firmly believe this teen wolf movie will be absolutely terrible, I will also be having the time of my life before, during, and after it
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transtenzin · a year ago
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not to be maya on side but please do not call someone or something “mayan” when talking about our people, culture, etc. “mayan” refers to our language family (a language FAMILY, in which there are plenty of unique languages). we are the maya, not the mayans. i am maya, not mayan
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