#I love being so normal by comparison

[barbreypilled]

in other news my phone has listened to me for long enough that I’m getting Baby Book related recommendations on tiktok! love that for me anyway someone tried to shift to Panem

#bad idea! #I think best case scenario u contract raccoon syphilis or fall down a mineshaft #I love being so normal by comparison

[angel-of-sweet-revenge]

Sitting here wishing my ADHD was more severe just so people could realise I actually have a problem-

#adhd #probably adhd #undiagnosed neurodivergent #undiagnosed adhd #stuff like this makes me doubt if i have adhd at all #i tried to explain how when i was doing my gcse preparations i would take a day to do an essay #“oh it takes us a whole week” #NO THATS NOT WHAT I MEAN #I HAD A WEEK TO DO IT BUT I LEFT IT TO THE LAST DAY #ON THE LAST DAY I COULDNT PROCESS THE QUESTION #I KNEW WHAT IT WANTED. I KNEW WHAT I SHOULD WRITE. BUT I ALSO DIDNT #i love english. both language and literature #but it would take me hours to even work out what i was supposed to write unless it was under timed exam conditions #when it was timed the panic would put me into hyperdrive #but i only realised last night that maybe taking a full day to work out what to write on a simple essay might not be normal #but then people point out that this kinda thing is normal and i just. dont know. #do i have adhd or am i just giving myself excuses for being slow #or do i expect others to be so much faster and see myself as slow in comparison #im so sure i have adhd but i dont know either

[wizardnuke]

i know it's popular fanon to think that essek has little to no relationship experience and i do think his bedroom experience is average at best (for a hot young* elf) but i Personally think he's got a long line of heartbreaks behind him. i mean this so slash negative slash derogatory i think he was out there wining and dining and leaving-behining all the time. just for fun and profit. working on his acting chops. showing off. he likes attention dude. i don't think that's directly contradictory to him being very reclusive and quiet about his work i think he was mysterious and sexy and thought flirting was funny. anyway he and caleb "genuinely falls in love with every other person he meets and then is really weird about it, EXCEPT for essek, who he was genuinely honeypotting" widogast, who essek was also genuinely honeypotting for reasons Far beyond boredom (see: i think some of his early weirdness/awkward formality can be explained by the fact that he was trying to mask real homicidal rage towards the m9) are insane together they're ride or die they're perfect for each other they're lifelong "friends" and they're playing mind games the likes of which would level a city park id they broke out of containment. and it's enrichment for them

#i think it is absolutely critical to keep in mind that 1. this CHILD of an elf (in comparison to da'leth) convinced DA'LETH to do treason #with him. not that i think da'leth is generally against treason but essek had to have been a winning combo of cunning and charismatic for #that to work. and 2. caleb generally falls in love with everyone BUT this is so critical BUT he did not fucking do that with essek. #he Did Not. my guy is not that stupid he knew exactly what he was looking at. he didn't know the scale but he knew Something Was Up #and essek 'flirts so often he forgets he's flirting' thelyss and caleb 'victim and perp of some of the most insane relationship drama to #ever come out of wildemount AND a trained manipulator' widogast stumbled into one another sometime circa hot chocolate whiskey #and Aeor Horrors #and both promptly had the same OH NO moment before saying fuck it and showing off increasingly complicated spells #as a mating dance #while also still being deeply insane about their perception of 'normal relationships' and 'how to communicate' #caleb did a good job at the grove but. where's the fic where he gets essek to stay the damn night via shutting off his magic

[aroaceleovaldez]

i need to know everything about your pjo voltron au

okay so basic plot premise: Thalia, Luke, Jason, Percy, Maria di Angelo, and Bianca all work at the Garrison and get sent on 3 separate missions (Thalia & Luke, Jason & ??? or maybe he's just by himself, then Percy & Maria & Bianca) which are all "lost" and they're declared dead by the Garrison.

Of course they were actually all abducted by aliens. Maria probably dies pretty early on in that whole situation. Thalia gets separated from Luke and ends up escaping and becoming a rebel. Luke, Jason, and Percy & Bianca all separately (except for Percy & Bianca) end up gladiators. Luke becomes The Champion and basically ends up a Kuron/Sendak-type character situation. Is he being mind-controlled? Unclear. He has a giant alien scythe-sword though. Bianca probably dies buying Percy time in the arena. At some point Percy and Jason find each other and decide to try and stick together.

Hazel is a human raised by her galra dad in space with the Blade of Marmora. She knows she has a half-brother through her dad out there somewhere but not anything else about him. She ends up running into Jason and Percy on a mission and helps them escape cause they're humans too.

Back on Earth, Piper, Leo, and Annabeth are all Garrison students. Or Annabeth is possibly in a Keith-type situation where she used to be a student but got Kinda Pissed Off about all her loved ones disappearing into space and ended up getting kicked out. Nico is in a Pidge-type situation where he snuck in as a student under a false name to figure out what happened to his family's mission. Percy and Jason crash on earth, the gang finds them, they find the Blue Lion, and Percy pilots it to the Altean castleship where they meet Reyna and Frank. Reyna is the Altean Princess, because her sister Hylla was queen. Frank is the son of a high-ranking general or something and he and Reyna are a duo.

Rest going under a cut cause this got long -

Lion adventures happen - Annabeth pilots the Green Lion, Jason pilots the Black Lion. Nico finds the Red Lion and meets Hazel when he does and brings her back to the castle. Hazel pilots the Yellow Lion. Nico very quickly realizes he's half-Galra and Hazel's brother and joins the Blade of Marmora. Percy swaps from Blue to the Red Lion. Piper starts piloting the Blue Lion. Leo, Frank, Reyna, and Nico end up the home-base support team. Percy probably keeps the blue paladin armor and Piper gets the spare pink armor for color association reasons and also cause that's usually the format for every iteration of Voltron anyways. It works out nicely. Everybody has extra lion compatibilities too/every Lion has a back-up basically cause I'm still mad vld canon dropped the lion lore/sentience plotlines and we never got cool dynamic lion swapping instead of just the usual single switch. We're having fun here.

Then everything else I don't have much for other than Annabeth and Nico basically swap Keith and Pidge roles once they join Voltron so Nico goes and has his galra identity crisis adventures and Annabeth reunites with Thalia at some point, who is basically in a Matt-type role. And Luke functions as the Sendak-level antagonist who Annabeth probably gets to fight with a swap back to Keith's role in a whole Keith & Kuron emotional situation. Kronos and Gaea are probably analogous to Zarkon and Haggar/Honerva here but not necessarily in that order, and obviously it's more of an either "Emperor and his advisor mom" or "Empress and her prince son" but in either one somebody's doing magic and people are probably getting possessed. Hades, Persephone, Iaepatus/Bob, and Damasen are all with the BoM. The Titans/Giants are probably all Empire generals. Who's Lotor? Octavian? Calypso? I don't know. Who are all the gods? I dunno. We'll workshop it.

#pjo #riordanverse #ask #dreamyzworldlove #vld pjo au #long post // #i think a normal about about the BoM and galra lore okay #i am a simple being. i like worldbuilding. show me funky fluffy purple aliens and i will be invested #i made a whole translation of their alphabet so i could write with it #as for the rest - #Annabeth & Luke with the "You're like a brother to me - I love you'' probably constitutes as psychological violence on a meta level #it maps hilariously well though in terms of both narrative function in the au canon #AND meta level comparisons of fandom reactions re: Luke's death / the Kuron fight and relevant quotes in both. the bloodshed... #anyways its too perfect though and im amused by the parallels of meta baggage there so it stays #i am also now rapidly rotating all lotor options in my brain #also Nico joing the BoM is essentially analogous to him running away in TTC #except he's not 10 here so he probably does it with a bit more grace #he probably finds out about his mom and sister. gets real sad. then meets Hazel #and finds out she's his sister and their dad is around and he goes ''...okay. im okay now.''

[remitro]

feeling shrimp emotions about cbee again. sorry it will happen again

#postcanon ranboo revival is real to me. thinking a normal amount of thoughts about them when everything is over and the dust settles #full believer that they get like. married married after ranboo is revived because goddammit they never got a wedding the first time #and maybe ranboo's ghost was a little too haunting because tubbo can never quite forget it the bloodstained wedding dress the ruined veil #the way their hair hung in front of their eyes #down in the way that ranboo always hated with he was alive because of how it touched her neck #about those empty empty eyes about something in the shape of someone you loved more than anything that doesn't understand. OK #really normal about replacing something that haunted you for so long with something happier. with something joyous #michael gets to be ring bearer. tommy is the flower girl AND the best man because he's just cool like that #ranboo's bouquet is pink tulips. jasmine flowers are braided into their hair. Does Anyone Hear Me. Does Anyone Fucking Hear Me #hm. i need to draw this will i probably not. but i want to. GOD i want to #they have the first set of rings on their horns but i think they order a second set for their actual hands #tommy spends at least five minutes laughing when he sees how much bigger ranboo's ring is in comparison #look. to me tubbo is maybe 5'4 if we're being nice about ranboo has AT LEAST a full foot on him if we're being generous #he never had a chance

[the-acid-pear]

Something that always pissed me off about DSaF is how it acts like your physical exterior is a moral failing, which is echoed by the characters but only ever reinforced instead of subverted. Biggest L from the writing imo.

#luly talks #started thinking of this again bc someone pointed out word of god said henry looks like that in the game's style (despite being a Normal #White Man) as a representation of how evil and non human he is which is like WHAT THE HELL MAN!!! THAT'S MEAAAN #like changes in looks to represent someone is evil isnt an issue when its 1) A WILLING CHANGE 2) ACTUALLY TIED TO THEM BEING EVIL #see: jack in pure evil doing his jack o lantern shit #like how are Jack or Dave Bad People™ for just DYING. #''the outside always ends up matching the inside'' BABYGIRL I LOVE YOU BUT STOP TALKING BULLSHIT!!!! #like tje only case where i dont mind this is w Davetrap bc the bnnuy shit is a direct consequence of his actions #like a mark of shame if you squint you'll see me wag my tail because im remembering one of my favorite blonde men #im not gonna specify bc its a tasteless comparison if you think of it too long but its basically the same #he was only put there bc of what he did and bc he wouldn't stop it was not an accident or a tragedy #but hell this shit of hating ppl based on their looks extends to ANYONE like Dee is straight up A Good Woman and is hated cuz she. weird #MATT TOO like okay. matt isnt a good person. he has some shady shit going on. BUT IT DOES NOT WARRANT HOW HATED HE IS BC HE'S ''CREEPY'' #and pf course the phoneys esp Jake w ''i was a monster'' though that's the only case i can think of where its like #self perception and not some bloke going holy shit you're so ugly i dont trust you #prob more examples but i havent played the game in too long so Y'know. #dsaf

[juergenklopp]

Feeling sort of like trea turner is a feral rescue kitten the phillies fans have successfully started socializing to their team by sticking their hands in his enclosure and giving him treats after games on this night (yes I know he's an adult man getting paid millions but I cant help feeling things about the phillies)

EVIDENCE PRESENTED WITHOUT COMMENT June 25 vs NYM | August 5 vs KC | August 22 vs SF | August 28 vs LAA | March 19 CUB vs USA | August 22 vs SF

In all seriousness, though: the Narratives™... man. Career-low year coming off an MVP-worthy World Baseball Classic campaign. Rough start, getting rained with boos, a brief uptick in performance before going back into a brutal slump again, culminating in the nadir that was the Miami game colossal fuck up in the extra innings. The post-game interview, looking lost and broken and on the verge of tears, staying in the batting cages until midnight...

And then Philadelphia welcomed him home with a standing O and a donation drive, we’ve got your back, we know you’re trying, and Trea answered the very next game with a go-ahead home run, and has continued to be in fine form since. And the clubhouse’s unwavering suppport through it all... going to be a little weepy again about it:

Before Trea Turner heard the coordinated cheers and saw people standing for him, it was quiet. It was 27 days ago. His season had reached its lowest point, so he went to the batting cage. He swung until midnight, with few interruptions, because no one would tell him how to do this. Turner listened to advice from every corner of his professional and personal life. There is no handbook on how to escape a career-worst spiral. Nick Castellanos had showered and dressed that night at loanDepot Park in Miami. He headed for the exit when he realized Turner was still in the cage. “You’re one of the best players in the world, don’t forget it!” Castellanos yelled.

Trea Turner’s revival: Over 26 days, Phillies star has emphatically swung his season (Matt Gelb/The Athletic)

HOW CAN YOU NOT BE ROMANTIC ABOUT BASEBALL

#behold: my most insane post to date. #I'm so normal and totally not deranged at all #I JUST LOVE THIS TEAM SO MUCH #.asks #Anonymous #and you get it anon you truly get it #I know you meant the feral rescue kitten comparison as a metaphor but I've been saying this since he scrambled my brain in the WBC #he's SO cat-coded and I can't reliably guarantee I won't pspsps him— #(nah I'm perfectly capable of being normal but... meow...) #I just... wah... this team... this ballclub... #(art by catcrumb dot tumblr dot com :])

[poisonouspastels]

actually im kind of thinking abt how all the main players in the AU are probably way more mentally Not Great than it may appear at first

#like Alex is constantly worrying she isn't doing enough for her family and pushes herself way too hard physically and mentally bc of it #no one expects it out of her but she kind of just got herself into that mindset and ends up hurting herself by pushing too hard usually #(Rana is working with her to help break the habit) #Herobrine lived in caves for like 7 (I think. im too lazy to go check the rough timeline rn) years straight #like i already dont have to explain why thats bad on its own but hyperfixating on a dead civilization that long #to the point where you almost entirely forgot your first language is Worse. #he's had so many spider bites and eaten parts of spiders that he's literally just immune to the venom now #Rana you'd think would be better off since she's like the traditional happy cheery character but I guess that's also why she's Not #being happy is a choice to her. she's lived through some of the worst shit but she keeps persisting because the world needs more love in it #she's going to be happy out of spite despite all the odds and she wants to give that to others as much as she can #this girl walks in and out of the Nether every other month for potion ingredients like how 'okay' can she actually be really #Steve is probably like the most normal by comparison #but im not really sure how sane you can realistically qualify yourself to be when you've previously done DIY top surgery with a sword #that was not a fun day for neither Steve nor (pre transition) Rana but it worked! please dont do that again #no one else do it either neither of them would recommend it #he's not traumatized from that or anything but ill be damned if the gender dysphoria didnt win that day #but at the same time so did he. via the use of like 20 healing potions #thanks Rana #minecraft au mastertag

[todayisafridaynight]

Do Saejima for the bingo thing 👀

saejimra :)))

#snap chats #THIS BOARD MAKES IT SEEM LIKE I DONT LOVE SAEJIMA BUT I DO I LOVE HIM IMMENSELY #HE'S JUST. HE'S JUST SO NORMAL IN COMPARISON TO EVERYONE ELSE #and he's too Built Different for me to worry about him dying or not #i believe saejima could be hit by a bullet train and At Most would have to put a bandaid on his knee #this man isn't being killed he'll be fine #but PLEASe know i love him #i DO want him to be my weird but chill as hell uncle where we spend the evening wood working and he tells me tree facts

[challenge-ant]

that's never something you hear ant & dec say is it

#imagine if one of them had become a big hollywood director and one was doing a podcast from his shed!!!! #(a brilliant beloved podcast but nonetheless) #this is the normal way of feeling about working with your best friend I think #and for context they met at school and grew up together - friends first before the career #so it's the most similar comparison I think #a&d are so lucky to want the same things and love being together every day so much !!!!!!!!! #ca text

[katnissgirlsmakedo]

after a day of literally not thinking about that movie at all. i think the school for good and evil is maybe not so bad if you can dedicate a night to watching it and then move on. could be fun even. sorry, i literally just have so many issues surrounding certain established characters i get testy when they’re mentioned in bad fantasy movies in ways i dislike. you can’t just spring something like “son of captain hook” on me and except instant reciprocity i took a full day to warm up to that guy and only managed because he was funny and had about ten scenes. but you can’t just do that to me with no warning i have a tinker bell poster on my bedroom wall do you honestly think i’ve ever been normal about the silly little peter pan story. like honestly.

#also sorry prince whatever you name was for making fun of you for having a dead dad and also being generally mean every time i saw you #i went a little hard on you man you’re probably not so bad ultimately. sorry about the dead dad #it’s just that’s my friend alex you know. and you are nothing in comparison to my good friend alex #(who i have latched into in a very normal way. 😐) #idk he’s just a nice boy. he’s just nice. he’s a very good representation of what i like about king arthur. he’s just good. it’s lovely #beth.txt

[silverislander]

have discovered a new enemy while doing research for the honours essay. why are you pretending to understand psychology and BLATANTLY misinterpreting actual terms and concepts in order to tear down a movie aimed at teenage girls, my good bitch. i'm going to start biting

#you got the WRONG BITCH bc you just hit on two of my biggest interests (zombie movies and psychology) at once #FIRST of all. you dont have the credentials to be talking abt this and it shows bc why dont you know what psychotic means!! #simple shit!! you want to pretend you know psychology dont fuck up psychopathology psychopathy and psychosis! all different things! #you can BARELY conceive of narcissism. a one off joke about how a character recognizes his flaws and wishes he was respected more #is NOT proof to label someone as a fucking narcissist oh my god. id actually argue the complete opposite #you are accusing A Zombie of being abusive based on (checks notes) being scary looking eating brains and /protecting a girl/ #bc uhhhhhhh smth smth dark triad smth smth twi/ight #last time i checked thats literally just fucking normal ass zombie shit + him being NICE!! #its not male gaze 'ocular aggression' bestie he cant blink. hes dead. #talking about how the zombie is unrepentantly creepy when he Literally worries about coming off as creepy In The Movie out loud #SECONDLY to circle back why are you so stressed about twilight. thats not even the subject of the chapter #(there are good critiques of those movies but this is not that) #your book came out in 2015 why were you still shitting your pants and crying that girls were having fun 3yrs ago at the EARLIEST #reaching so fucking hard to 'um ackshewally [thing that teenage girls like] bad' im shocked you didnt throw your fuckin back out #your arguments are nonsensical your positions reveal an alarming level of sexism and you should be ashamed #levi.txt #believe it or not im having fun rn. im funny complaining not angry complaining #w@rm b0dies isnt a Good movie but i will go to bat for it actually. let teenage girls have fun garbage #god knows adult men have enough of their own to choose from ESP in this genre #and its a movie that has a lot of interesting shit someone could analyze!! im focusing on it as a representation of changing feminism #but id love to see a reading of its portrayal of zombiehood as disability + its cure narrative #or critiquing how it writes its female characters bc admittedly theyre bad ngl #or on how survival is represented in comparison to films like zomb!e/and (which i also love) where you 'earn' survival with competence! #genuinely there is even smth to be said for the problematic nature of the brain eating element. id be intrigued by that paper #i dont think its much worse than the play the movie is based on? but its not nothing #it Is ultimately a little bit fucked up and i dont think the movie explores it enough #but noooooo we gotta talk about how the zombie is a narcissistic abuser bc of the brain eating. ok

[bluerosefox]

Assassin Heir? Crime Fighting Furry? NOPE NO THANK YOU!

"Danyal, its time to end this game and return with me."

Danny should had known Clockwork had something in mind when he sent him on this mission. He knew he should had been suspicious of the time keeper when he noticed the little 'this is going to be fun' smile on his face when he sent Danny off into the portal.

"Get back here you demon spawn 2.0!"

But how was he supposed to know that he'd wake up in this world version of himself in a pit full of corrupted (AND NASTY) ectoplasim at the tender age of five or that when he swam up to the surface he'd be meeting face to face with what was apparently a cult.

"-O just spotted him a block away! I'll try to cut itty bitty bridie off!"

An Assassins Cult his, new to him, loving yet a little insane mother was in charge of (though during the few months he stayed in the compound he heard rumors and gossip from maids and others alike that if his grandfather returned from the dead he'll take over once again, no doubt punish Talia for creating another heir after the failure of the last one, most likely was going to kill Danny and that... that was can of worms Danny didn't wanna deal with yet)

"Ten bucks says they try to stab RR when we get the feral thing home"

"...Losers bet...."

Danny had lived with his mother for a while after being brought back from the 'dead' for apparently the first time, it turned out training a five year old with an actual sword and a dumbass hidden revenge seeking teacher was a terrible idea.

"I swear if this one tries to murder me like the others I'm asking Zatanna if there is a curse on me."

He dealt with her high demands of perfection, the endless training, and the constant comparisons to his apparent older brother Damain... Who didn't know Danny, or rather Danyal existed.

Nor did his father (when Danny, using his powers he's kept hidden since 'waking' up in this Realm, he sneaked his way around the base and discovered how he came into the world. And tbh he couldn't blame his mom how she made him, she was an assassin first and foremost, being naturally pregnant would had painted a target on her for to long... but he also felt it was unfair and an asshole move on his unsuspecting father as well)

"As your elder brother I demand you to stop running!"

Now don't get him wrong, he did like his new mother (total badass assassin lady and all that) and he knew she loved him in her own... deadly way. But yeah, she really shouldn't be taking care of kids. He could tell she struggled with wanting to be a normal mother but her first instinct after so many years was to be an assassin first.

Something she was trying to engrave into Danny with as well.

"Ah, hello Beloved. I see you've learned of our Danyal."

"Talia. Back away from him and leave Gotham now."

"I can not do that. The League needs an heir and since Damian refuses to return... I have decided to create a new one and I shall not be leaving until he returns with me."

"Talia."

Hence why when Danny, or rather Danyal al Ghul had gotten decent control over his powers he decided to leave the League. Again nothing wrong with the life his mom leads, to each their own, but he... really, really didnt want to be an assassin. Or an assassin heir.

So here he was, after almost a year on the run, using his powers and training to out smart and out maneuver his mother and her many band of Assassins, in Gotham. One of the last places he ever wanted to run to cause he knew his father and brother lived here.

It was just his luck that his mother had managed to intercept his train ride that passed into Gotham for a few hours and forced him to run into the city...

Add her assassins into the mix and running into Robin, who heard from Oracle his mother had been spotted chasing a young boy across the city, that same night.

After that it became a full on "catch me if you can" chase for not only his mother but for the batclan as well.

And after two whole days of chase, it seemed like the final showdown was about to begin because everyone was on top of this rooftop, his mother and her assassins on one side, his father and the batclan on the other and Danny well... he was right in the middle of all of it.

He just had to hope no one would notice him once the fighting started...

#danny phantom #danny fenton #dp x dc #blue rambles #crossover #writing ideas #random idea #danny phantom dc #basicly Danny is sent on a mission by CW #he wakes up in the DC version of himself in the pits after being killed and Talia tossing him in #he was created by Talia since shes head of the LOA now and needs her own heir #but she once again wants Bruce's bloodline in it so she used some leftover dna she still had #so no one knows Danny was created until he left about a year later #danny has his ghost powers since he took a dip in the pits #but had to relearn some control and kept it secret #he knows his mom would see it as 'the pits granted my heir its powers.' mindset #so hes been on the run #and didnt wanna go to Gotham cause... his dad dresses as a gaint bat #and dont get him started on the rest of the batfam #he doesnt wanna be an assassin or a crime fighting furry #in case some people didnt get it. the words being spoken happen when Danny is running all across Gotham away from those after him #guess who said what lol #i want danny to be completely independent and trying to take care of himself tbh #but hes still baby to everyone else #talia is slowy becoming a little unhinged due to being the Demon Head now #maybe due to the stress of it all? or maybe due to a curse? idk

[iphigeniacomplex]

making up a guy to get mad at can actually be really lovely and rewarding like for example i was feeling understimulated so i crafted an alternate world where moby dick was super popular on tumblr and the most popular ship from moby dick was ahab x humanized whaleboy merguy moby dick who was always drawn as like a skinny little white guy with white hair and sharp teeth and sort of unusual eyes like maybe with black scleras or something. and it was literally inescapable and people made like hannigram aus where will was ahab and hannibal was moby dick and people also made human!boatless!modern! aus of ahab x moby dick where they were just like normal guys as well. and the moby dick fandom all thought they were so cool and countercultural because melville's unfinished novella billy budd was also really popular and the billy budd fans were at odds with the moby dick fans because billy budd fans described it as like a heartfelt queer story in comparison to moby dick being toxic and soulless (because ahab was trying to kill moby dick in canon) and moby dick fans described billy budd as basically steven universe but none of this ended up mattering because in four years the meteors came and all life on earth was lost

if you are reading this please donate to $trextalents on cashapp; he is a disabled fx artist active in my city’s horror scene who is in a bad situation and needs financial aid. if you cannot donate, please reblog my pinned post with more information. the world of this post is not real, but logan is.

#it speaks! #i had to kill the world because i was getting too into the like ins and outs of discourse in this world. #nobody ever talked about any element of moby dick which was not ahab x moby dick btw. in this world #moby dick

[ultrafangirlishness]

The Barbie Movie.

A small, non-comprehensive list of things that stood out to me (spoilers? Kind of?)

The soundtrack

All the jokes that played off of what it was actually like to play with barbies (the pool & ocean being flat, the cups having no drinks in them, the shower having no water, etc.

TRANS BARBIE

The choreography

The "I Am Kenough" tie-dye sweater

Barbies of many shapes and sizes! All very beautiful!

THE ENDING, OH MA LORD. Both the way the story concluded really beautifully, but also the ending joke that no one was prepared for—

Just... everything about Ryan Gosling's performance

Kate McKinnon playing the deranged, "ugly" Barbie

In the same vein, that movie would NOT have been complete without representing the kids who played with their dolls "too hard" (cutting their hair, bending them in weird ways, etc.)

Acknowledging that Barbie did in fact mean a lot to some girls. This movie was geared towards everyone, whether you grew up loving Barbie or hating her.

The mom and her daughter

The fact that when Barbie was starting to become "defective" and/or when she was in the real world, you could start to see her ""flaws"". Like I noticed in some scenes her eyebrows were unplucked and no longer perfectly sculpted, or her skin no longer perfectly smooth with foundation.

It was clear that SO much thought and research was put into this. I couldn't believe how many references there were to specific clothing items, certain playsets, etc.

The fact that Barbie and Ken DIDN'T end up together, and that Barbie DIDN'T indulge Ken in his flirtations (is that a word?) even once

THE FACT THAT I WAS SO CLOSE TO ACTUAL TEARS LIKE SEVEN TIMES???? LIKE WHAT????

The weird dark humor coming out of nowhere

The fact that Barbie never once looked at the human women (who were "imperfect" in comparison to her) with disgust

......the moment between her and the woman on the bench 😭😭😭

The mom's rant about how hard it is being a woman (esp a mother) and how you can never win 🙌🙏

The misogyny in the Real World was so well done. It wasn't overexaggated or over the top it was just NORMAL EVERYDAY LIFE

THE JOKE ABOUT HAVING A MAN SIT YOU DOWN TO TALK ABOUT THE GODFATHER ASDJGKDLW

The moment where I went "OH so THAT'S where the mugshot memes came from"

Ruth Handler <3

The fact that everyone came to the theater dressed either in pink or Barbie-like attire :)

#barbie #barbie movie #barbie spoilers #spoilers #kind of? lol #non-spoiler #barbenheimer #the barbie movie #barbie meme #long post

[5ummit]

AO3 Ship Stats: Year In Bad Data

You may have seen this AO3 Year In Review.

It hasn’t crossed my tumblr dash but it sure is circulating on twitter with 3.5M views, 10K likes, 17K retweets and counting. Normally this would be great! I love data and charts and comparisons!

Except this data is GARBAGE and belongs in the TRASH.

I first noticed something fishy when I realized that Steve/Bucky – the 5th largest ship on AO3 by total fic count – wasn’t on this Top 100 list anywhere. I know Marvel’s popularity has fallen in recent years, but not that much. Especially considering some of the other ships that made it on the list. You mean to tell me a femslash HP ship (Mary MacDonald/Lily Potter) in which one half of the pairing was so minor I had to look up her name because she was only mentioned once in a single flashback scene beat fandom juggernaut Stucky? I call bullshit.

Now obviously jumping to conclusions based on gut instinct alone is horrible practice... but it is a good place to start. So let’s look at the actual numbers and discover why this entire dataset sits on a throne of lies.

Here are the results of filtering the Steve/Bucky tag for all works created between Jan 1, 2023 and Dec 31, 2023:

Not only would that place Steve/Bucky at #23 on this list, if the other counts are correct (hint: they're not), it’s also well above the 1520-new-work cutoff of the #100 spot. So how the fuck is it not on the list? Let’s check out the author’s FAQ to see if there’s some important factor we’re missing.

The first thing you’ll probably notice in the FAQ is that the data is being scraped from publicly available works. That means anything privated and only accessible to logged-in users isn’t counted. This is Sin #1. Already the data is inaccurate because we’re not actually counting all of the published fics, but the bots needed to do data collection on this scale can't easily scrape privated fics so I kinda get it. We’ll roll with this for now and see if it at least makes the numbers make more sense:

Nope. Logging out only reduced the total by a couple hundred. Even if one were to choose the most restrictive possible definition of "new works" and filter out all crossovers and incomplete fics, Steve/Bucky would still have a yearly total of 2,305. Yet the list claims their total is somewhere below 1,500? What the fuck is going on here?

Let’s look at another ship for comparison. This time one that’s very recent and popular enough to make it on the list so we have an actual reference value for comparison: Nick/Charlie (Heartstopper). According to the list, this ship sits at #34 this year with a total of 2630 new works. But what’s AO3 say?

Off by a hundred or so but the values are much closer at least!

If we dig further into the FAQ though we discover Sin #2 (and the most egregious): the counting method. The yearly fic counts are NOT determined by filtering for a certain time period, they’re determined by simply taking a snapshot of the total number of fics in a ship tag at the end of the year and subtracting the previous end-of-year total. For example, if you check a ship tag on Jan 1, 2023 and it has 10,000 fics and check it again on Jan 1, 2024 and it now has 12,000 fics, the difference (2,000) would be the number of "new works" on this chart.

At first glance this subtraction method might seem like a perfectly valid way to count fics, and it’s certainly the easiest way, but it can and did have major consequences to the point of making the entire dataset functionally meaningless. Why? If any older works are deleted or privated, every single one of those will be subtracted from the current year fic count. And to make the problem even worse, beginning at the end of last year there was a big scare about AI scraping fics from AO3, which caused hundreds, if not thousands, of users to lock down their fics or delete them.

The magnitude of this fuck up may not be immediately obvious so let’s look at an example to see how this works in practice.

Say we have two ships. Ship A is more than a decade old with a large fanbase. Ship B is only a couple years old but gaining traction. On Jan 1, 2023, Ship A had a catalog of 50,000 fics and ship B had 5,000. Both ships have 3,000 new works published in 2023. However, 4% of the older works in each fandom were either privated or deleted during that same time (this percentage is was just chosen to make the math easy but it’s close to reality).

Ship A: 50,000 x 4% = 2,000 removed works Ship B: 5,000 x 4% = 200 removed works

Ship A: 3,000 - 2,000 = 1,000 "new" works Ship B: 3,000 - 200 = 2,800 "new" works

This gives Ship A a net gain of 1,000 and Ship B a net gain of 2,800 despite both fandoms producing the exact same number of new works that year. And neither one of these reported counts are the actual new works count (3,000). THIS explains the drastic difference in ranking between a ship like Steve/Bucky and Nick/Charlie.

How is this a useful measure of anything? You can't draw any conclusions about the current size and popularity of a fandom based on this data.

With this system, not only is the reported "new works" count incorrect, the older, larger fandom will always be punished and it’s count disproportionately reduced simply for the sin of being an older, larger fandom. This example doesn’t even take into account that people are going to be way more likely to delete an old fic they're no longer proud of in a fandom they no longer care about than a fic that was just written, so the deletion percentage for the older fandom should theoretically be even larger in comparison.

And if that wasn't bad enough, the author of this "study" KNEW the data was tainted and chose to present it as meaningful anyway. You will only find this if you click through to the FAQ and read about the author’s methodology, something 99.99% of people will NOT do (and even those who do may not understand the true significance of this problem):

The author may try to argue their post states that the tags "which had the greatest gain in total public fanworks” are shown on the chart, which makes it not a lie, but a error on the viewer’s part in not interpreting their data correctly. This is bullshit. Their chart CLEARLY titles the fic count column “New Works” which it explicitly is NOT, by their own admission! It should be titled “Net Gain in Works” or something similar.

Even if it were correctly titled though, the general public would not understand the difference, would interpret the numbers as new works anyway (because net gain is functionally meaningless as we've just discovered), and would base conclusions on their incorrect assumptions. There’s no getting around that… other than doing the counts correctly in the first place. This would be a much larger task but I strongly believe you shouldn’t take on a project like this if you can’t do it right.

To sum up, just because someone put a lot of work into gathering data and making a nice color-coded chart, doesn’t mean the data is GOOD or VALUABLE.

#ao3 #ao3 stats #psa #my words #fandom #I doubt anyone is even going to read this but I needed to get it out of my system and at least try to stop this from spreading #if you know me #you know I get Big Mad about misinformation #don't take anything at face value #do your own research