#I need a grieving period no because omg

[ridethefakesenses]

Just watched "Train To Busan" and my god did that hurt, how dare you (yes, I watched it late but still, HOW DARE YOU, OH GOD) I didn't know but horror movies can make you cry. Fucking Shit man.

#train to busan #gong yoo #jung yu mi #ma dong seok #I need a grieving period no because omg

[cheecats]

To soothe you from your Riverstar's Home trauma, how about you ramble about oneripple?

YOU'RE SO KIND FOR LETTING ME GO OFF ABOUT THIS TY TY 💞💞💞 I'm terrible at structuring logical/coherent rambles, so I'll just dump some thoughts I have (obv these exclude Riverstar's Home and are roughly how I'd like to play with their dynamic [give them to me NOW erins!!])

LONG POST UNDER CUT!

Obviously this is way before the mountain cats arrive. BIG FAN of the idea that River Ripple and his small circle at the time were the ones to help One Eye and baby Star Flower get back on their feet after the two lost the rest of their family to the sickness we see again in TBS (I imagine One Eye had already treated them with the Blazing Star, but the two were still so terribly weak and unwell after that.) The group find the two living inside a rotting hollow and approach them. One Eye is, naturally, EXTREMELY aggressive and reclusive at first — distressed from sickness, grief, and fear of losing his tiny daughter, for he hasn't been strong enough to feed them much. The other cats are nervous around him, unwilling to approach the tom for his sheer size and ferocity, even if he is weakened. But not River Ripple. He understands why he is acting this way, that his aggression is a defense mechanism to mask his fear, and ultimately wishes to convey to One Eye that he is not going to do anything to them without his explicit permission first: and he sticks to that promise! Every day he sits outside the makeshift shelter with food, asking permission to come inside, leaving prey, water and herbs at the entrance if One Eye is asleep or simply says no. He never challenges it, and simply obliges and wishes him and Star Flower well. It is through this gradual process that One Eye begins to somewhat relax around River Ripple, allowing ONLY him to come inside, communicating his and Star Flower's needs and whatnot (Vulnerability moment!!)

Although she was too young to remember, once she began to recover, Star Flower was always excited when River Ripple visited, coming up to him, chasing his tail, and telling him all about her big adventures (all just made up ones, but River Ripple would always listen and ask her questions about them!) One Eye initially doesn't take well to Star Flower going up to the near-stranger, pulling her back or growling at River Ripple to back off. But over time, he sees that the risk is minimal, and the two never leave his sight while interacting. Besides, it stops Star Flower pestering him to entertain her for just a bit (also I just find this funny because adult Star Flower can barely recall this and River Ripple is just looking at her like omg you've gotten so tall now!!! I remember when you used to tell me how you beat up monsters and dogs 🤭💙!!)

SO LIKE skipping the recovery period, and now One Eye and Star Flower are more present outside … One Eye falls first. He initially is bothered by this, still grieving the loss of his mate and their other kits moons ago. But the feeling is nonetheless there. It's complicated, because at first he had every intention of claiming the area for himself and pushing River Ripple & his friends out… but as much as he tried to resent River Ripple's philosophy, there was just something so…. soothing yet powerful in the way he carried himself. He realises he actually enjoys his company, which is also weird for him! One Eye has lived among opportunistic cats his entire life, learning that being aggressive and domineering is the only way to make it, and that the passive and meek were destined to be crushed. But River Ripple is a curious example to him. He is gentle and patient, but completely capable of establishing boundaries and shutting down veins of discussion that belittle or threaten him. He would call out One Eye's bullshit every single time, but in a way that didn't escalate the situation. His heart was soft and his identity was strong in that. Kindness without weakness??? In MY Warrior Cats??? Impossible??? (Erins: yes it's impossible. 🗿)

Anyway, montage of One Eye giving terrible rizz and making a complete fool of himself 90% of the time — getting frustrated and defensive while everyone else is like🧍‍♂️. River Ripple is confused at first, but slowly begins to catch on. He finds it both amusing and sweet… and yeah! He realises he does feel the same way! He always found One Eyes protectiveness of Star Flower warming, found his intelligence to be engaging, and he genuinely believes there is good in the tom's heart (me shaking my head slowly.)

First date? Swimming lesson! One Eye is terrible! He's half drowned, scrabbling onto River Ripple every .2 seconds, and hates how pathetic it makes him look. But River Ripple is patient, assuring him that they can always try again some other time, and that it took him a while to get used to it too <:)

^ I feel like it's important to emphasize that One Eye genuinely feels like he can relax around River Ripple. That this cat doesn't have any ulterior motivation to trick him or take from him. Nor' does River Ripple ever belittle his failures or negative traits. They simply exist, are acknowledged, and pass like water.

But of course there is difficulty in how these two's ideologies clash. Everyone's beliefs are different, but theirs almost completely counter. River Ripple's philosophy is peaceful. To live and let live, and be custodians of the land. One Eye's on the other hand is to conquer. To take, to fight for what you need, and to claim the land. While there is room to accommodate each other, they are both two strong individuals with strong identities. Neither is going to abandon their philosophy, and when they clash so strongly, it can make it impossible for them to see eye to eye on issues. Long term, that would be hard. I believe that is why they'd go their separate ways. It doesn't work out. But that is okay. For that period of time, there was coexistence, there was connection, and there was love.

TL:DR. Very brief romance! A spark of passion that burns then fizzles out when One Eye leaves to be on his own (with Star Flower) once again. River Ripple, of course, says One Eye can return any time if he needs anything. Even for a short visit. He never does. For everywhere the tom goes, there is destruction and disruption, and River Ripple's home is like an oasis to be left untouched in One Eye's head.

Even as One Eye's reputation worsens, they still feel for each other. River Ripple especially. He knows what One Eye is capable of, what he has done, and how downright hideous he can be. But it's hard not to miss the memory of him. (Cue the mountain cats like PLEASE stop talking about this asshole in flowery prose he is trying to kill us!!)

BONUS: Not really relevant here, but their presence in the narratives respectively as the punisher/destroyer vs the voice of reason… ooogh, sun that burns, moon that soothes e.t.c but that deity kind of vibe would be more relevant once they're spirits in the Dark Forest & Starclan!

I could go on forever but that's the meat of it. Ty ty i hope everyone enjoyed and its not terribly incoherent ✌️

#random-multifandom-nightmare #cheez rambles #cheez design #my art #warrior cats #one eye dotc #one eye wc #river ripple #riverstar #star flower #oneripple #// OLD MAN ROMANCE!!! #// dudes who are really normal <- me #// even if you dont read this i hope u guys enjoy the doodle lsdkjgklds #// thanks again!! <3

[snowandwolves]

lengthy ask anon: omg you actually answered all of those you are amazing wow ty!! i need to reread ch5 now but also just reread the whole thing bc wow what a way to end ❤️

if you'll indulge in more asks? and again feel free to pick and choose whichever you'd like!

was diego's amy named after amy pond? also does bea and d have lengthy doctor who discussions?

does bea not have to be at the lighthouse 24/7 when suzanne's there?

the way you had so much about both bea and ava was beautiful. was it a conscious choice to balance how much we got of each of them?

sixth to the ninth was alternating perspectives but this one was purely from ava's pov (absolutely loved how you write her voice btw!) did you have that planned from the start? what was most fun about writing purely from ava's point of view?

why Norway? ("why not?" is a fair answer lol)

on the flipside, is there a scene that you'd be curious to see from bea's perspective?

oohohoh any missing scenes/scenes you had to cut?

how are you celebrating (and grieving) the end of this magnificent fic?

hi lengthy ask anon, i love this sm so imma go ahead and start answering these 😂

1. I DIDN’T THINK OF THAT ACTUALLY??? BUT OMG THAT’S PERFECT 💀 and also yes, they could probably go hours just talking about it and ava would absolutely nap to the sound of them having debates about it

2. nope! she’s a relief lighthouse keeper, so she only ever works there when suzanne needs her to. which is,,, more times than suzanne cares to admit definitely

3. yep! a conscious choice and an outright struggle lmao but when i planned for this fic to be in ava’s pov, i also planned for both of their backstories plus the scenes that’d make it possible for them to share. i—tbh, i spent an unhinged amount of time just planning this LMAO

4. also yes! i don’t normally write in just one character’s pov, but it seemed fun so i was like whatever 😂 as for what i loved about writing from her perspective, it’s definitely her love for living and the world. that was a major thing in this fic, and it’s the primary reason why i chose to write this in her pov. honorable mentions: her rambly thoughts are so much fun to write, her humor too.

5. ok so i was researching lighthouses and turns out, there aren’t a lot of them that are still manned — most are automated now. but of the places i read about, norway seemed like the one that realistically would have more lighthouses than average. that, and i was going for end of the earth kind of vibe without going all the way to like,,, the north/south pole 😂

6. so many 😭 like so, so many. the storm for one. that walk for the final tasks before they kissed was another. then also her planning to leave with ava. i could go on and on about this 😂

7. also so many 💀 there’s one where ava transfers a piece of penne onto bea’s plate because bea joked “i’ll give you a penne for your thoughts”. the dancing in the epilogue was supposed to be a whole thing. i also have enough fragments for another smut scene. and these are all just,,, in my notes and i have no idea what to do with them LMAO

8. i’m going to periodically cry because i’m so relieved and also so sad that i finished it 😂 and then i’m gonna read all the fics i wasn’t able to read while writing this sakdhsj and then—well, you’ll see 😌

thank you so much for letting me talk about this fic, anon 🥹

#ask #this was genuinely so much fun to do and i am… #yeah u guessed it #soFT

[delilah705]

That scene in your fic where Kni carries the Reader to bed naked ;;uu;;

Words really can't describe how true to the characters I feel your fic is. I truly mean that. There are lots of pieces to break apart in Trigun and its main characters, and you manage to write their entire universe perfectly, beautifully! That includes emotionally and physically, Trigun is a tragic story of merciful morality vs total justice, and it reflects here even in the simplest words.

Another thing I appreciate is that you never beat around the bush with the details, I could sense the investment, you say how it needs to be said, I couldn't name a flaw if you paid me millions to seek one out. You don't need to read between the lines to read your fic but you do need to keep your ears open and your mind steeled. Because you need those things in a merciless dying world like Gunsmoke, with the way we were raised on the ships and how Vash and Kni will grow apart in the future you can't approach their topic without hardening your heart as their inevitable 'war' begins, the Reader feels so human and realistic-how we process trauma, dreams and emotions. We are very vulnerable, still at Kni's 'mercy' matterless if he really does love us, and I can practically feel it bleed through the lines.

Their war spams over a long period of 100 years, and I deeply doubt the Reader will live that long, I'm not ready for the future angst, for tragedy we will absolutely face! OOooh, I'm so excited.

I'll likely make more fanart later, now I'm gonna eat up more of your fics now >;33.

When I tell you I almost cried seeing this just now- His conflicted blushy face!! This is so good! I love it so much! The anatomy! The clothing details and the shading and all the little lines!! I feel like this really captures how he feels about reader. You did so well portraying it through posture and expression! I'm putting this in my little folder for fanart people have made for my fics so I can look at them forever.

ASf;sdh- 😭 I was over here making little whines and sobbing noises and happy little laughs this entire message. aaa- I had to fix so many typing errors before I posted this asoug- Thank you so much!! Trigun really touched me when I needed it most and I'm still so invested in the 98 twins' personalities and dynamics most out of the three Triguns! I worry so much writing this fic and From The Past Or Future? Your Guess Is As Good As Mine about how well I'm portraying the characters and the world around them, so it makes me really happy to hear it comes across as I intended in Where Wild Roses Grow. I even bought these little BESM guidebooks for guidance and rewatch the episodes for a refresher, to get myself into that world and mindset for these two fics in particular to try and get myself into Vash's and Knives' heads. I so, so love how tragic the story is for Trigun because I think it speaks a lot to real life. There aren't always easy answers, and your options are sometimes even bad option a or bad option b. And oh boy are there things I really wanna hit on that I won't be able to in WWRG in FTPOF concerning Vash's growth throughout the 98 anime because I appreciate it so much. He's still so much like that little boy he was when he lost Rem in some regards. And it grieves me so much that he only had one year with her and he clings to that so much. Trigun just keeps stomping on my heart even though I've already been on the anime journey three times now. XD It still hurts!

I so, so love how Vash and Knives are portrayed in this version if I'm honest, and I think it really bleeds into this fic. The way they are set up as yin and yang with the guns and certain scenes just drives me absolutely feral with appreciation. The butterfly scene?! And the one where they're holding their guns to each other's foreheads?!? So good… Hhhh- 😭 Thank you so much! Omg. I'm so thankful to you and everyone who has left me kudos, comments, and bookmark comments on this fic, giving me inspiration and determination to continue it because I'm so happy with how it has turned out so far, and so happy it could touch and bring enjoyment to so many people. It all started as just a horny little idea of being in a twin sandwich (XD Which I didn't even use the original sex scene that spawned it all!) and just escalated from there. It went through several drafts before it became what it is now, and there are still portions I haven't decided whether or not to share in a final extras chapter or use for something else. I cannot say enough how, well, invested I am in these particular versions of the characters. I really wanted to touch on their trauma in this fic, the way they processed the cards they were dealt so early in life, and their wishes for the future. Bringing the reader into the mix makes things so interesting in my mind. And it's honestly just so fun to explore their emotions and the way things have changed with the events that have taken place. I'm so glad that it comes across as realistic! :'D I really did try to put myself into each characters' shoes, even if we don't always get much of the boys' point of view, I still think about what they're thinking at any given moment. And oooh boy, I hope I really captured that persistent dreadful feeling of Knives' will just looming ominously always. He's such a… Wild card and very controlling, and it's interesting to analyze his change and how he becomes by the current times in the series.

AAAAA- I can't say anything!!! XD I want to, but… I'll spoil everything. aspfa0su- I'll just be blunt and honest and say the answer comes pretty quick next chapter as to reader's fate. And do prepare for angst because boy howdy. Depending on how things go in the writing department, this might just be the last one. I would just say there's not much left to have happen, but with the way I write,… Sometimes it just gets really out of hand, so I can't say. I just think this chapter will be the last. There's still a lot of feelings to process, especially on poor Vash's end. Oh, I am too!! X3 I've already started writing it. It's only 6KB that's strung together right now for the start of the chapter, but the entire document is 103KB, so there's plenty of notes and scenes to shift through and put together. A lot of time and effort tends to go into this fic's chapters so it could be a month or more before I finish it, but rest assured I intend to give it a conclusion in the near future if possible! >:3 I'm so hyped to get into the ideas I've been holding onto since even before its post date! This ending has always been the one I've had planned for it.

As;jfa- >//w//< I can't wait to see it/them if/when you do and decide to share! Thank you so much for sharing this with me! It's so lovely! Have fun! XD I hope you enjoy them! I have a bunch more fics in the works if I can ever get the inspiration and time to finish them. Take care, alright?

#Sfw #Lovely fanart of my fic! :D #someweirdoreblogger #someweirdoreblogger's art! #Millions Knives #Where Wild Roses Grow #WWRG #Trigun 1998 #Reader is so smol in his arms! X3 Mans needs to be more gentle with and appreciative of her!! #Smh at him so much while writing him in this fic. He's so blind. #But boy howdy 👀 This next chapter is going to tackle some things. Prepare yourself. #Ask

[hypnotisedfireflies]

I was just wondering, what were the key moments that Joel grieved or thought about Tess on the way to Wyoming? I figure on the way to Bill and Frank’s because Tess was the reason they even connected. He probably wondered how he’d have to explain that to them. But what else? When did he think about how he’d have to tell Tommy?

Hello anon! Thanks for such a thought-provoking question; it's had me stroking my imaginary beard.

In Driftersverse, Joel does not think of Tess much during that trip because he can't. He knows how debilitating grief is for him and that he can't fulfill his promise to Tess if he lets it in.

The epilogue of Dawn is Joel letting her go for the time being to be able to do what he has to. When it picks up with his POV again in Dusk, he's bracing himself for that period of grief that he knows he's coming, but also can't indulge the way he did with Sarah, because Ellie needs him. So that's really the start of his grieving period proper.

So while he did very little grieving for her during the canon events, there were certainly moments where it happened anyway. I think it's in Blood Orange where he tells Tess he had a moment in the shower at Bill and Frank's, and there would have been other times, too - just when it was quiet and safe, in that twilight before sleep when it would just hit him like a ton of bricks that she wasn't there. Or waking up and automatically looking and ... no Tess.

In most situations of thinking of her it would've been waiting to hear her tell him what they were going to do, lol. In Dusk Joel tells Ellie to "Think like Tess," to keep herself alive, and that's definitely what Joel did whenever he had to make a choice except that he wasn't that great at it because Tess wasn't going through the middle of a fucking city when they had been Hunters/Raiders themselves and knew what kind of shit went on in there but ANYWAY

I think Joel was so determined to palm Ellie off to Bill and Frank that he barely thought about how he was going to tell them - especially Frank - what had happened. He just needed it to be over. He would have known that Bill could accept a simple, "Tess is dead," but that Frank wouldn't, that Frank would want to know, and telling Frank how it ended would have been so traumatic for him. And omg can you imagine, because Frank knew that Tess died thinking Joel didn't love her the same way she loved him ... awful.

My version of events doesn't gel with how Tommy responds to Joel showing up in Jackson without Tess and not immediately knowing that means Tess is dead, lol. So I just played it off that Tommy knew but was prepared to let Joel continue the lie until he felt he could talk about it, which may or may not work, but this is what I have to work with when I romanticise events, lol. But Joel probably approached Jackson knowing that he was going to have to say something to Tommy and thinking he could get away with, "oh yeah she's fine >>" until he had dealt with the whole Ellie thing.

I hope that answers the question! As nuts as I am about Tessjoel Joel and Ellie is sacred, and I think he really did spend the majority of their TLOU journey together thinking mainly of her. Because Tess told him to. >>

#driftersverse #asks #tlou fanfic #tlou #joel x tess

[gvftea]

For those of you who were doing open heart surgery or bringing peace to your Twitter groupchats or whatever you were doing, here’s what you missed over the past few days on GVFTEA!

- Jita is an anesthesiologist

- No Jita is a nurse anesthetist

- No Jita is a travel nurse

- No Jita does online healthcare

- Jita got her degree because Jake was cheating on her (womp womp)

- How do u guys know this much about Jita????

- Omg I need the rumors about Ronnie

- *Radio silence* *There are none*

- It’s called a JOKE. Lighten up 💡👆🏼

- Marcus King, Travis Tritt, and Kid Rock all head bang and bathe in each other’s awesomeness at white trash bash

- Twitter stans move to Nashville for “work”

- Danny and Sam = Fairies of the band

- GVF and the 1975 collab?

- No way Matty is too pretentious

- Micah

- Josh and Micah

- Josh gay

- Paige (derogatory)

- Why can’t you people just let us GRIEVE!!!!

- Jita rude in college

- WHAT IS MARCUS KING’S POLITICAL AFFILIATION DOES ANYONE KNOW

- Jake caused my period

- No he didn’t go back to a biology class

- Hannah W. submitting on GVFTEA? (Hey girl!)

- Is Marcus King conservative?

- Micah and Hannah (not Wicklund) childhood besties?

- Jake looks like a rockstar pirate

- Processing parasocial relationship breakup with Josh

- Danny anti Twitter drama

- Friendship bracelets (Again.)

- Breaking: GVF records new album in tin can under the sea

- Rumored that GVF actually recorded new album in Ocean Gate submersible

- Micah isn’t unemployed he’s a pastor

- Not to bring up live_at_gvf again but

** Editors Note: LEAVE THIS WOMAN ALONE!!!!

- GVF secretly Nat and Alex Wolff from Naked Brothers Band

- Micah is cute would bang

- Can Jake please stop putting eyeliner on his waterline

- Why does the new Starcatcher beer have to be an IPA

- Funny how Sam & Hannah made their relationship public so fast because of how it started

- Sam & Hannah are gonna break up after her album comes out (okay Harry Styles and Olivia Wilde!)

.

#greta van fleet #gvf #josh gvf #sam gvf #jake gvf #josh kiszka #danny wagner #danny gvf #jake kiszka #sam kiskza

[felixantares]

11 22 19 ayo

omg some of those are so fun!! 💚

11. Do you believe in the old advice to “kill your darlings?” Are you a ruthless darling assassin? What happens to the darlings you murder? Do you have a darling graveyard? Do you grieve?

I have such a hard time killing my darlings 😭 I never want to. But I do it!! even though it’s hard! I did it not even like a week ago. There was a whole severitus plot line in build me no shrines that I was super attached to and I cut it, because it wasn’t working. I was crying the whole time and now I have a separate severitus fic that is in no way related. But yes I have a darling graveyard, usually they don’t stay dead long and get turned into new fic ideas

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

I mean, I’ve been doing creative writing forever it feels like. I wrote little short stories as a kid and drew really terrible comics. My mum got me this novel writing program that had a code for an online forum when I was around 12, and so I started writing a novel (I finished it too! I was 13 and it’s actually insane, the plot makes no sense, but like!! I did it, 45k of nonsense. my mum was so proud) but I joined the forum and it was a bunch of other kids all 12-17 who wanted to write books too. I kinda stopped for a while in high school and uni because I’d been told I couldn’t do anything with writing, that it was too hard to make a career out of it and I was better off doing something practical (haha jokes on them I went into art). Then in like… 2016? I had a brief little period where I wrote a couple Merlin fics, they didn’t do super well and I got a couple nasty comments that kinda put me off writing fanfic at all. Then in uhhhh August last year I got really into Harry Potter again after I broke off a toxic friendship with someone who said I couldn’t be queer and also like Harry Potter, so as a giant fuck you to them I joined the first HP discord server I found — which I kinda found my people right away and now I’m quite happily inhabiting my little corner of the internet and writing my stupid little stories.

22. How organized are you with your writing? Describe to me your organization method, if it exists. What tools do you use? Notebooks? Binders? Apps? The Cloud?

Okay I don’t think I’m crazy organised but then I’ve been told I am, so idk make your own calls. I’ve got 2 physical notebooks, one for my two long WIPs and I just kinda put a coloured sticky note in the pages whenever I switch the fic I’m writing for, and a second book for random ideas and notes and stuff that usually gets transferred to the appropriate document later. The idea notebook is very small and lives in my pocket in case I’m out and need to write an idea down. But I don’t really take a lot of physical notes. My docs and folders though are perfectly organised. Docs are put in folders with their fic (or in the case of one shots, a folder for that) or like my general writing folder if it’s a resource, but I have a naming system that I use for all my projects, based on what kind of file it is so they get tagged with like [OUTLINE] or [WIP] or whatever is relevant. There’s a colour coding system within the documents (so like as I’m writing, notes to myself are always blue, notes on a character are green, sections that need editing are highlighted in red, sections that I’m currently working on are orange… and a few other colour keys that I won’t bore you with) and then I have a spreadsheet I use to track wc goals and overall progress and stuff. I’ve thought about using that “make your own wiki” site that was shared with me a little while ago (or I’ve got a subscription to WorldAnvil for my D&D notes, so maybe that) to start organising my lore notes a bit better, but that’s a fairly large project and I might just stick to what’s working for me.

#felix talks #ask game #harry potter #on writing

[mangacat201]

Writing asks: 10,11

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

Ohhh, that's technically three questions, innit? But I'll answer all, you're very welcome. The meaning is different on whether it's other people's writing or my own.

In the sense that reading a piece affected me so much that it created a sense memory that didn't let me go for a long time, there's a couple. I had to read "The Willows" by Algernon Blackwood for a literature seminar and maybe it's a combination of reading it on my own lateish at night with no preparedness at all on what the story was going to be about, but it turned out to be the single most frightening piece of writing I've ever read. It just gave me The Horrors(tm), like the kind of existential dread that grips you bodily. I've since gone back and reread it (in broad daylight tyvm) and it's lost a bit of it's immediate impact in favor of me being able to analyse what made it so to me, but it really stuck with me for quite some time after reading.

The second one is 'The Cat' by Neil Gaiman. It's in one of his short story collections, I forget which one, but it definitely affected me deeply in the way it just grasps the meaning of theme so profoundly and still think of it and the way it made me feel many many years later.

As for my own stories, that's the other kind of 'haunting' namely the ones that got away (or more accurately that I can't bring myself to chase). I plot stories by sitting with them in my head and usually I have a beginning and an end and maybe a few pivotal scenes figured out by the time I start writing, but the longer a story is, the more I struggle to keep my focus on it. I've had a couple of storys that have remained unfinished for years and years (one I actually managed after five years omg) and I often come back to them in my head, trying to figure out how I can get them to work and get back to writing them and finishing them, because I do enjoy the process a lot, but I struggle with anything that doesn't have a fast and definitive conclusion. But yeah, those stories haunt me, because I think they deserve to be finished, but also I can't bring myself to do it.

And lastly, sometimes I will go back and read something I've written and marvel at the fact that it could have come from my brain, no clue how that happened. LOL.

11. Do you believe in the old advice to “kill your darlings?” Are you a ruthless darling assassin? What happens to the darlings you murder? Do you have a darling graveyard? Do you grieve?

The answer to this one is yes and no.

I'm of the staunch opinion that in the writing or editing process, you need to periodically sit back and ask yourself 'are there any darlings here to kill'? It's more like to make yourself reflect on what you're doing, whether you're adding to the characters, the plot or the narrative theme you're trying to chisel out or whether you're just adding shit for the hell of knowing it's there (yes, I am looking at you G.R.R.Martin). I feel like it's a good exercise to keep your focus. BUT I am also of the opinion, that darlings aren't there to be killed. If you have a good reason not to kill one, don't kill it.

Also, darlings for me are less characters that actually get stuffed into the writing oubliette and more like, scenes, tropes, beloved expressions and writing flowers. And if I feel like I need to excise any of those to make the piece better, I'll grieve of course, but I'll also know that the reader will appreciate it in the end.

I used to eschew editing, striving to pour the scene out perfectly once I actually got to writing it and never looking at it again. Which of course led to me not doing a lot of writing over all, cause you can only hold so much in your head until you forget what you wanted to write. Now I enjoy it and I feel like the 'kill your darlings' question is a good exercise to help you center yourself on what you want from a piece, but it's not the be all and end all and it doesn't work for everyone.

#cat talks #asked and answered #well... that was a right essay was it? #sorry anon #but interesting #writing questions

[tunglo]

Hi @tunglo, I’m the anon who asked for the heartbroken Obi-Wan/Anakin time travel fic. I wanted to say a HUGE thank you for the fic!! I loved your twisting of the prompt to make Anakin the time traveller - and OMG two broken hearted messes was just *chef’s kiss* absolutely perfect! The trauma, the pain, the tension, the yearning, the need! Oh! I don’t have the words. Thank you! How on earth you managed to hit all of everything I ever wanted I don’t know. The anguish and yet the beautiful solace. Just yeah. I’m gonna stop rambling now. :)

On another topic entirely, I saw your post today about periods and thought I’d send a few thoughts your way in case they were useful to you. I don’t know whether you’ve ever considered/tried hormonal treatments but there are certain varieties of the contraceptive pill that can be taken back to back for three months which obviously reduces periods to 4 a year. Alternatively depo-provera injections often lighten or stop periods, as does the mirena coil.

If you’re struggling with pain, and it sounds like you are, I’d also recommend getting endometriosis and adenomyosis ruled out. Depending on diagnosis you may be able to get your ovaries ‘switched off’ with something like zoladex or prostap injections.

As someone who’s just undergone a hysterectomy for gynae problems, I literally feel your pain, and I wish you all the luck in the world as you search for a solution. xxx

:D I'm so psyched that you liked it! As soon as the idea hit to make a grieving Anakin time travel it just flowed because there can never be enough angst in my fandom world. (Plus, just the idea of how happily Anakin would take advantage of an Obi-Wan who was so lost and vulnerable...)

Also, wow, thank you! I'd heard of endometriosis - my periods were absolutely awful when I was younger so I was tested for it and put on the pill. But adenomyosis was a new one to me and, actually, reading up on the details I will definitely mention it next time I'm at the doctors.

For a few years after my daughter was born they hardly hurt at all, I guess because a lot of the area was just numb after they cut through it. (Got to have an emergency c-section, fun times.) But the last year or two they have been really awful and heavy again.

So, yes, thank you so much for the suggestion! <333

[crowning-art]

TGCF SPOILERS FOR BOOK 3! LIKE MAJOR SPOILERS

-------------------------------------------------------

HOLY WHAT THE HECK, THE CHAPTER I BEGIN ON AND THE CHAPTER I ENDED ON WERE LIKE ON TWO DIFFERENT ENDS OF THE SPECTRUM

Xie Lian's extremely overdramatic reaction to anything embarrassing is sooo on point! Like yes, I too would say "Die! Just die! If he can’t die, then just dig a hole somewhere and pretend to be dead!" if I embarrassed myself in front of my crush or smt lol

I- UGHHH DWDHOWFNL my heart literally feels so FULL whenever I read about some cute hualian moments, but you gotta understand, it's not the declarations of love or the acts of chivalry, it's the small, subtle stuff that just consume me, like the simple understanding...

Xie Lian wasn’t dumb. He knew that Hua Cheng was giving him an easy out, but he could only follow along and mumbled vaguely with his head bowed.

Omg the whole talk they have at the beach?!?! There's just so much in that convo nfqofnoqi and like it's incredible how much every sentence means when you just look at ALL that context behind it. Like when he's thinking about why the person Hua Cheng likes doesn't like him back yet (UGH THEY ARE SO STUPID I WILL SCREAM),

Maybe it was because he felt the other party didn’t have good taste, or maybe they were taking it all for granted.

and it's like, are you self-projecting? do you feel like you are taking Hua Cheng for granted? but also, after everything he went through, to have someone believe him or just care for him, despite being a scrap-collecting god, it was something he took as granted when he was at his height, and it's just...wow.

and this,

After a pause, he continued, “There was also a period of time in my life that wasn’t easy, and during that time, I’d constantly think: if someone should witness the version of me who rolled in dirt and couldn’t get up, but could still love me for who I was, it’d be great. Still, I don’t know if there’s anyone like that, and I daren’t show that part of my past to anyone, either.

Like I know it's a meme/quote but the one where it's like 'If you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best' fits so well, and the reason why certain memes kick off so well is because of how much truth is in them, y'know?? and we see that reflected in this so well lejnfownfogn

and of course

OF COURSE

OF FREAKING COURSE

THIS GOLDEN LINE, THIS INCOMPARABLE LINE T-T

“To me, the one basking in infinite glory is you; the one fallen from grace is also you. What matters is you, and not the state of you."

It just summarizes everything previously stated so beautifully.

ANd like, this part?

Hua Cheng didn’t say anything more, either, and laid down inside the coffin. Xie Lian entered too, and pulled the cover closed. As if a light was blown out, they sunk into darkness.

It just reflects their whole story so nicely? Like the whole world around them being a coffin; so dreadful, so constrained, painful, grieving, and yet in all that darkness, they had each other and it's all that mattered...

It's all that they needed to survive...

(But also lmaooo Xie Lian plzz calm your thoughts LOL)

I LOVE HOW BLUNT HE IS

Pei Ming pulled out his sword and said leisurely, “Yeah. There’s the coffin wood, but where’s the deceased?

Hua Cheng smiled, too. “If you’re so concerned with who’s dead, I suggest you go kill yourself.

OMg this part was legit straight out of horror movie level SO excellent

Xie Lian blurted out, “My Lords! I FOUND IT! LOOK…”

Just then, his pupils suddenly shrank. Something new was reflected within the Black Water Lake.

A shadowy figure had appeared soundlessly behind both him and Hua Cheng.

It's hurting me so much seeing Shi Qingxuan taking so much care of Ming Yi at every turn and the part where he went 'It's not fair Ming YI has to suffer so much when he has nothing to do with it' and Im like boiiii, OOHHH BOIIIII You have nooo idea

No idea at all...

(Unknowingly, he even took care of the actual earth master bones after they fell and I'm like EYYYYYHH)

Like it wasn't his fault the fates were switched but like inheritly, it was his fault and it's just...does he really deserve all that pain? Just for existing? Just for his predetermined fate?

UGh GOD HE'S SO CUTE HERE

Xie Lian knocked on the doors and called out brightly, “Pardon the intrusion! We have, by accident, offended bluntly. We deeply apologize.”

No one answered. Xie Lian steadied his mind and slowly pushed open the palace doors.

Based on Xie Lian’s years of experience, even if there was something inside, it wouldn’t come out and greet them the moment the doors opened. Yet he had to eat his own words. Upon the first look, there was something petrifying.

In the grand, spacious centre of the entrance hall sat a person. And this person, dressed in all black, its face snow-white—was a corpse.

Instantly Xie Lian shut the doors soundly.

He thought, “Did I maybe open the doors incorrectly? Something like that shouldn’t show itself so fast?”

He had wanted to try greeting again and start over, but Shi Wudu had already walked past him and pushed open the doors, humphing.

AND HERE TOO WBILBFILWBF

The group of them surrounded that haunting skeleton and started examining it. Xie Lian spoke up.

“First, it’s a man.”

“We see that,” the group said.

(Can't stop laughing cuz one of the best ways to identify a male skeleton is by looking at the pelvic region and I'm just imagining all these heavenly officials doing that and it's HILARIOUS)

I have strong, bad feeling Water master will not be passing his third heavenly calamity this time....

As for what the consequences of that would be, we are to find out...I think quite soon :/

I forgot about the Reverend of Empty Words there for a second lol

AND UGGHHHH WHY DO I KEEP LEAVING IT AT CLIFF HANGERS?!?! (ok I do it so I have something to anticipate and look forward too) BUT LIKE WHYYYYYYY

The one behind you, several hundreds of years ago, his original name was He Xuan. He cultivated into a Supreme, and changed his name to Black Water Demon Xuan. He devoured the Reverend of Empty Words and sent that creature to find you. He imprisoned and murdered the real Earth Master, and took on his name, assuming his position in the heavens!!!”

Just as the words left his lips, his entire person suddenly froze.

A hand had slapped onto his shoulder without warning

LIKE OMG THIS IS INSANE WBIFBWOFJOW THIS MAN IS ALL OF THEM BUT ALSO NONE OF THEM?? He's actually just He Xuan, like wow. And it's crazy that He Xuan was powerful enough to kill a heavenly official, but also kill the og demon dude, like wow that's insaneeee

I'm worried

#tgfc #tgcf spoilers #heaven's official blessings spoilers #heaven’s official blessings #hualian #hua cheng #xie lian #shi qingxuan #ming yi #he xuan #tgcf journey #ch 120-123 #wow yoooo this is crazyyyy #LIKE ALL PARTS OF IT

[khaleesiofalicante]

PART 3

ITS'S HERE BITCHES

what...what do you mean trails to sit through...

JACE YOU BROKE YOUR ANKLE???

100 bad days is a good song...

“Jace, you broke your leg thrice this week,” his wife pointed out.

JACE WHAT

omg he wants to go to the silent city...

bitch why are you pulling a will?

“Didn’t you go to the silent city last week because you had, and I quote, ‘cramps from mother-effing hell’?” Jace asked.

“Shit hurt,” Clary shrugged.

“Babe, you weren’t even on your period,” Jace chuckled softly.

“It really bothers me that you know my menstrual cycle better than I do,” Clary mumbled.

THEM JUST LBAF CLACE IS A DIFFERENT BRAND

I swear I love these two so much

oh Selena's there, isn't she?

PULL A WILL

It had been a little more than a week since they had returned from Edom.

That’s just a thing they said these days.

ah yes. a normal Friday

omg David head of ny institute soon

im so proud of him

prince of hell Magnus is so fucking hot

LISTEN I AM A SIMP OK?

im sorry powers by who now?

THESE FUCKING ANGELS CAN FUCK OFF

omg Lexi fly

omg omg omg

that's so cool

The girls had marched into hell despite being so young because they had felt the need to save the world – to save their family.

Of course, Jace knew his children would have done the same, with or without the powers.

That’s the kind of people they were.

The kind of people he and Clary had raised.

my heart is so full right now

just them

they are so

omg

“You can’t keep breaking your leg,” Clary said again. “If you keep breaking the same thing, people will get suspicious. You need to break different parts of your body.”

I AM SO IN LOVE-

CHOPIN OMG HE'S STAYING WITH THEM

“This is the seventh stele you have broken this week,” David pointed out. “I’ve been getting complaints from the Adamant Citadel.”

David is back like omg

he's back

“Chopin says you broke your leg,” David said incredulously. “Again!”

“Chopin,” Jace gasped. “I thought we were bros!”

CHOPIN BESTEST

I accidentally closed the lbaf tab...

ok it is back

omg he's growing up

not just in height

my heart

“Papa,” David said softly.

Jace’s heart did a little backflip.

It still wasn’t used to hearing that.

He hoped it will never get used to it.

“Mama,” David said gently.

Clary sighed a little at that – as if David hadn’t just said a word but had recited poetry.

GASP

THEM JUST THEM

David speaking french omg

HUSUYUYKFDH LEXI-

I SWEAR-

He felt something awful was going to happen any moment – the way it had every day for the last two weeks.

It was hard to believe and accept that everything was okay now.

this! this feeling.

the restlessness

omg he went to alec

I FUCKING SCREAMED INQUISITOR

INQUISITOR

Anjali had come into the role with a unanimous victory. Everyone – literally everyone - in the Council had voted in favor.

Jace wasn’t sure if they did it out of respect or fear. But either way, good for the nephilim.

as they fucking should

there is so much tension and not the good kind

What happened with Belial.

That was a nice way of summarizing the fact that their home had temporarily been turned into a hell dimension.

ah yes.

I snorted

THE WEREWOLVES WHAT

how-

why-

what

He had thought the bad days were over.

But bad days didn’t go away. They just took a break.

And they come back when you least expect them.

so you kick them in the face and wrap a blanket around yourself for a few moments mentally and then you deal with them

“They lost their entire family,” Anjali said in an even tone. “People do questionable things when they are grieving.”

oh.

yeah. they do

the werewolves are looking to pin their pain somewhere

“Already taking his side over mine, huh?” Alec asked with a small grin.

“I’m taking the side with the most sense,” Anjali replied. “Neither of you have a lot of that anyway.”

Anjali be stating facts

I love every interaction of theirs

“Okay, that was some good shit,” Jace said after they woke up from their nap.

me after sleeping for 12 hours during vacations

I once slept for 24 hours after 2-3 days of all-nighters during exams

it was supposed to be a study break before our history and smth else exam

aww they are cooking together

ISABELLE

“We two are parabatai,” Jace pointed out.

“You two are assholes,” Izzy corrected.

I want pasta now

so what if I attempted to make spaghetti right now...

it's 12 57 am

I am not very good with pasta

except for ramen

Alec served three plates and they ate in the kitchen as Izzy spoke to them about a pasta recipe that sounded like it required a trip to the silent city afterward.

I would eat whatever Isabelle lightwood served me I am a goner for her

oh my god they are all exploring Idris

I forgot Rafael and max were only there once when they were little and the rest have never been there...

it's a story to them

I wanna give Jace a hug

get here bitch

oh fuck trials

alec what is it?

SO WE DONT GET TO KNOW IT GREAT

it involves Magnus

sort of idk

WAIT BITCH YOU RETIRING??

I am chugging water nervously

THESE THREE OMG I LOVE THEM

Alec pulled him closer then. “Don’t worry about Selena. She’ll come back you.”

Jace hugged Alec tightly. “She will, right?”

“She will,” Alec promised. “Just like David. Just like Lexi. Just like my Rafael.”

yes, she will. and if the other sh try to hurt her I will, as my British friend likes to say, club them over the head with a shovel

Isabelle you ok??

baby Abigail...of course

hiding my notebook wdym I had already made headcanons about her?

“We are sorry,” Jace said again. “Jonathanina would have been great. Just like Georgia.”

“I would never name my baby that, Jace,” Izzy rolled her eyes.

“Alec?” Jace asked hopefully.

“If you want it, do it yourself,” Alec said cheekily.

Jace, I love you but Jonathanina is an awful name

no offense to any jonathanina out there

is this even a real name?

I SEARCHED IT UP AND A LINK TO YOUR POST CAME UP I CANT-

this post came up

He hoped everyone saw his children that way – not as soldiers or freaks or angels.

But as who they were.

As children.

YES

EXACTLY

“I got you,” Alec said simply. “No matter what happens, I got you.”

i had to sit there for a second with this

them. just them

ALSO BABY ABIGAIL SOON

therapy ah yes

But he felt that shadowhunters turned their noses up at therapy because they did not appreciate nephilim asking for help from mundanes.

Every time they had a problem, it always led to a shadowhunter’s superiority complex.

This was exactly why they needed therapy!

stupid fuckers

except for some ofc

im so glad Jace chose to continue with therapy

seriously these bitches need it

“You can’t help anyone if you don’t help yourself first,” she said then. “Focusing on your own recovery and making yourself a safer and healthier person would make you a better support system for your children.”

dude this is so important

“It’s not easy,” she said gently. “To be the one who takes care of everyone.”

Jace looked up at that.

“Sometimes, Jonathan, it is the most self-sufficient who require the most help,” she smiled. “Because they have no clue how to ask for it.”

yeah. these people are the ones we need to check up on most

like rabbits

Ok bad example

but my point is

when rabbits are sick or hurt they don't express any signs and often live with the pain until it becomes visible like blood or change in their feces

now I am going on a rant about rabbits

but I remember reading up about rabbits because I was adopting two

ok this is getting weird

let's move on I don't know how to make a point

“Just check in with him every once in a while,” she suggested. “Remind him that you are there. That’s all you need to do.”

!!!!!!

Y'ALL SHE GAY

THE THERAPIST IS GAY

Also, seo-jun wanting Jace to model for her ahhhh

“Sometimes people don’t need therapy. They need love. They need validation,”

and sometimes that is enough.

god I loved this whole scene

JHUIYDUIHDCUHID HE'S AT THE SILENT CITY

Selena baby no

nope get up we're going to the beach

im sorry that was the first thing that came to my mind

she has always wanted to help

FUCK YOU BELIAL

She had always been that way.

Always making tea for people who were anxious.

Always bringing food for people who were hungry.

When someone was feeling down, she was there, trying to make them feel better.

god i am going to cry

aww she loves the silent brothers.

Jace remembered Selena running to the greenhouse and making a flower bouquet for Brother Enoch to thank him.

“They are amazing!” his little celery had told him. “They can heal people! They are like superheroes. But cooler!”

oh my god

I love her so much

“Because whatever said and done, you loved Michael,” Jace said softly. “You lost someone you loved – in more ways than one. You must allow yourself to grieve.”

god this hurt

this hurt a lot

“Love didn’t hurt you,” Jace whispered. “Someone who didn’t know how to love hurt you.”

this...this was a journey for him too and seeing him here just

LEXII

He was wearing a black t-shirt that said, ‘Property of Max Lightwood-Bane’. Jace chuckled at that.

if my future partner doesn't do this then what's the point?

“Uh,” David said. “It’s sort…fan mail?”

FANMAIL UIHSDUYIDSCUIHDF

I got cookies

“I don’t understand, papa,” David said, his blue eyes helpless. “Was I not a good shadowhunter before?”

The fucking best

“David,” Jace smiled. “There is more than one way to be a good shadowhunter. Our mandate is not to kill demons. Our mandate is to protect. And everyone does that differently. Some people do it by killing demons. Some people do it by running an institute. Some people do it by taking care of the wounded. Some people do it by learning and teaching. You are a better shadowhunter than most people I have seen. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

^^^^

oh yes Coraline

“Hey,” Jace said. “Shadowhunters often let their last name decide who they are. You don’t have to do that. You’re David. Nothing more or nothing less. Okay?”

YES

“I want to as well,” David bit his lip. “I don’t know…I don’t know if she would respond – or care. She left for a reason. What if she doesn’t want me to be a part of her life?”

“Then that’s her choice and we must respect it,” Jace said. “I don’t know what she will do, David. All I know is that anyone should be lucky to have you in their life in any capacity. So, for her sake, I hope she writes back.”

or you know stalk her online, find her location and email and phone number and call her

“Yeah. She is one of us, babe,” he smiled. “We are a tough bunch.”

oh yeah that's for sure

He was someone who was no longer afraid of loving or being loved.

He wasn’t afraid anymore.

He wasn’t afraid of love.

He loved and he loved and he loved.

And he was so loved in return.

It was okay.

He was okay.

dude this has me so emo

if all the chapters end like this I might have a serious problem

just his growth and recovery is so inspiring just him

I cant believe this is the last time we'll see his pov

omg

I am mailing him some of these cookies. I loved this so much

I love love love reading your thoughts. They are funny and fascinating and so shrewd.

I think I can speak for all of us when I say I'm not the only one who loves your live blogging ;)

Thank you! And yes! Cookies for everyone.

ps - no pressure but may I have a snippet from the rwrb au pleasE?

#lbaf #evie boo thang

[butwhatifidothis]

The Eagles in this fic: "Boohoo, Byleth is being stolen from us! Are we not family? After we sat on our asses and did fucking nothing after she went through the horror and trauma of losing her dad and now that she's not acting in a way we like or approve of we think of her as inhuman and keep our distance?" I'll say this, if there's one thing Captain is excelling at it's making self centered characters. Now if only he was doing it on purpose.

I DIDN'T EVEN FACTOR IN THEIR BEHAVIOR WITH JERALT HOLY SHIT

You're fuckin' right nonnie!! They did shit all for Byleth while she was experiencing one of the literal worst things that can happen to someone, and then they have the fuckin' NERVE to be all "omg, the professor's acting so weird, it's so hard to talk with her, is she even one of us anymore?" when she's a little out of it when she's STILL PROCESSING THE FACT THAT SHE WAS TOSSED OUT OF REALITY AS HUMANS KNOW IT LIKE A FUCKIN' BASEBALL IN A HOMERUN. They have the nerve to be like "We're so sad, Rhea and Seteth and Flayn are stealing her away" when THEY left her alone in two immensely traumatic experiences for ANYONE TO GO THROUGH

Like, even with them not knowing that Byleth also merged with the goddess of Fodlan - who was also her one consistent companion for a long while - they literally saw her get thrown into a supposedly inescapable spell. She fuckin' made a tear through the air itself coming out of it. They're really gonna sit there and be like "I can't believe she isn't the exact same now as before this event happened" like fuckin' what?? And that's not even factoring in how this is the literal first thing to happen to Byleth AFTER HER FATHER WAS BRUTALLY MURDERED IN FRONT OF HER! So she's dealing with a shit ton of trauma right now, trauma the Black Eagles know she's going through, but because she's not acting as they want her to, when they abandon her in her time of need TWICE, suddenly we gotta bust out the dehumanizing language, we gotta blame anyone else, because GOD FOR-FUCKIN'-BID they try to do ANYTHING TO COMFORT HER EVER. God forbid someone try to comfort Byleth and not just get them moving to do what she wants Edelgard.

And we know that it wasn't about comforting Byleth, we know that that's an explicitly bad thing that the story does not approve of. How? Look at how Caspar was shot up the ass for daring to FUCKIN' SUGGEST doing so! He's the literal only one of the Black Eagles to have wanted to genuinely try to help out Byleth during her grieving period, and he gets absolutely shat on. We know that comforting Byleth is the wrong thing to do because Dimitri was shat on for doing so! He dared to share his own personal story with Byleth so that she wouldn't feel alone, and he's heavily implied to have made it about himself for doing so!

Whether intentional or not, the message the story lays out is clear: Byleth is not meant to be comforted. She's not meant to lean on anyone for support, save for occasionally Edelgard, but even then not as often as Edelgard leans on Byleth. Byleth can sit down with Edelgard after she has a night terror about the experiments and listen to Edelgard let out her anger and sadness about what happened to her, but Edelgard doing the same for Byleth when Byleth loses one of the most important people in her life? Unthinkable. Can't fuckin' happen. Byleth is only meant to comfort, she's not meant to be comforted. Byleth isn't allowed to have dreams - remember, Edelgard tells her that "oh, you don't need to have big dreams silly!" and she only tells her that because Edelgard wants Byleth to stay by her side and nothing else. Not out of concern, but out of selfishness. Byleth is just a glorified stress ball for everyone to squeeze, not a character. Treating Byleth like a character, as much as the story tries to say is the point of the fic, is in fact what the fic strives to denounce.

God, all of these characters are so fuckin' insufferable. I want them all atomized

#ask #anon #o captain my captain #cept for Ashe Mercedes and maybe Dedue (if he stays as untouched as he has been so far) #but my fuckin' god everyone's such a selfish self-centered bitch and I hate it #on one hand thanks for pointing that out nonnie but on the other hand I'm so fuckin' mad lol how is anyone THIS lacking in self-awareness??

[phoebehalliwell]

Phoebe/Andy where they meet in New York and spend a semi-drunken night together where Phoebe's grieving Grams and Andy's trying to comfort her and things kinda go further than they planned and the next morning they swear to never talk about it again to anyone, least of all Prue, but then they both go back to SF and they can't avoid each other so it's awkward but also they keep hooking up in secret which makes it more awkward and then Prue throws out that accusation in "Wedding from Hell" - "You only came back home because you're pregnant!" and Phoebe denies it because no way except she maybe hasn't had a period since she came back home and she's kinda nauseous a lot, and holy crap what if she's pregnant?

omg,,,,,, okay so personally for a phoebe/andy i think it's better if andy didn't date prue just because well it's a lil too roger 2.0 but that being said andy and prue were the same year and again childhood friends so like. and i'm a sucker for this trope: the kinda will they wont they and they don't but there's always this assumption that it's gonna be you at the end. like no we're not dating and no we haven't dated but we have a connection right we like each other your stable i'm stable t's probably just gonna be you. in the end it's gonna be you. like prue always kind of assumed she was gonna end up with andy which is why she never dated him in high school because she wanted room to spread her wings like she was essentially in her mind delaying the inevitable and like. i mean andy kinda had that same vibe too until he moved away from home and kind of the further distance he had from san francisco the more he realized that that was probably never gonna happen and oh wait okay she's engaged now? oh. well i guess that answers that question (debatable on whether or not we include andy's divorce in this tl). and i think kind of the more time andy spent away from home the more he found himself changing the more he realizes how much of him was shaped by other's expectations his friends his fathers there was always this weight molding him into the man people wanted him to be but did he even want to be that guy so i think andy gets a lil more impulsive and reckless and you know when like. someone who had a really mediocre high school experience finally goes away to college and starts getting really fucking weird? this is that, essentially. so he's in a metamorphosis of sorts but not necessarily a good one meanwhile phoebe's feet damn near never touch the ground she's flying so high she doesn't have a second to catch her breath but she doesn't want one she doesn't want to have to think about her past much less her future if she stays in this headrush the only thing that matters is right now and that's all fine and dandy until she runs into someone who is just undeniably a part of the groundwork of her past there's no running from who she was and where she came from when she sees andy and honestly it's like all the air comes flowing back into her lungs and she forgets how good it felt to breathe. and it’s just like. skip the getting to know you part. skip seeing the mess you really are right now. just see the other and see home in them because you know they remind you of your hometown of course that’s it and then with andy it’s like phoebe sees him as other people have always seen him: as a good man. and andy kind of realizes how much he misses that how much he misses his support back home he realizes how much he wants to go home phoebe jokes it’ll be a cold day in hell before she goes back and andy laughs because he remembers just like what a shit stirrer phoebe was she was always the black sheep and she still has so much passion and fire and life whoops they hooked up but it’s okay it doesn’t matter because andy goes home. that was. haha. yeah. that was. you know what we don’t even need to think about it. Until. phoebe returns home and soon her craft gets the gals tangled with law enforcement so andy shows up at the manor phoebe draws the short straw and has to answer it and andy starts seeing her and immediately remarks cold day in hell huh? to which phoebe fires right back and prue and piper and standing there like what the fuck!!! we’ll say idk maybe this is the ep right before wedding from hell so the next episode when the girls are like phoeebs. u might be pregnant. prue is first to ask is it andy’s? to which phoebe’s like What!?! No!?!? What what why i haven’t even seen him in what that’s just pssh oh my god and now the girls just Know it’s andy’s

#so now phoebe and andy just very lightly start hanging out again because like. whoops. #but theres this insane hesitation because its like all eyes on them from family & friends #and phoebe kinda wants to run because thats whay she does best but andy convinces her to stay #and its like. this realization that like. that feeling of home they found from each other in new york #which they had both written off as a secret longing for san francisco #its not the city at all in fact andys been back for weeks and hasnt felt at all like he felt with phoebe until he's with phoebe #and it clicks it's not sf that's home it's her #you know? #phoebe x andy #💌

[lihikainanea]

Heyy ^^ i found ur blog yesterday and ive been ADDICTED to ur BFF!Bill stories!! they're so so good! I was wondering if you could write something about them both being on a plane, and when turbulence starts to happen tiger is just freaking out and bill has to calm and comfort her. omg that would be so adorable. also maybe them being cute at the airport before the flight, because tiger is all sleepy and soft. as you can tell, i've been desperate for some fluff hahah xx

HELLO NEW FRENN.

First of all, welcome bubs. Welcome welcome welcome to my crazy little corner of the interweb universe, I’m so happy that you stopped by and I’m so happy that you enjoy my insane babbles! do you have a favourite? I love hearing about your favourites.

Second of all, it’s strange to me that the people who are only starting to follow me now--ya’ll know a really special side of me. You know a weird, out of normal side of me. Because my job--I don’t talk about it--but normally, my job is 90% travel. Before this zombie virus hit, for years I was away for about 250-300 days a year. In 2019, I visited LA, Egypt, Iceland, London, Paris, Stockholm, Hong Kong, Japan, Cyprus, Ghana, Colombia, Phuket, Qatar, Milan, Bali, Stockholm, Abu Dhabi, Denmark, Norway--and that’s just to name a few. I was never home. I lived my life at 35,000 feet, in hotel rooms, never quite sure what continent I was on or what time zone I was in--and I loved it. That was the life for me.

And then 2020 hit and I just haven’t been the same since. In fact--because I think it’s important to talk about these things--this has hit me really hard lately, this nostalgia, this longing. And the main topic of my therapy sessions these days has been allowing myself to grieve for a life that I loved, that I may never get back. It’s rough, it’s really intense, and therapy has left me totally drained lately.

I have a few airport-comfort pieces on my #vacation bill tag on my Masterlist, because it meant so much to me at one point in my life. Don’t get me wrong, I was always treated very well when I flew and I had a lot of perks--but sometimes, sometimes it was hard too. When I was on malaria pills and only a few weeks out of a yellow fever vaccine, suffering from an insanely sensitive stomach in Ghana? I was curled up at the airport as my boss slowly gave me carbonated water, and I wanted to die. Curling up and just wanting to pass out on my 5th flight that was trying to get me to Vietnam, when I had no idea what day or what time it was, and all I wanted was to sleep--knowing that when I landed, I had 28 working hours ahead of me. That trip was hard. It was a lot of planes rides for short periods--so right as I started to drift off my seat would be slammed back into upright position, we were landing, and I had to shuffle out and shuffle onto another plane.

In any case, please let me indulge a moment in this because I am always here for Bill comforting tiger in all scenarios.

Bill flies a lot, so he’s used to all of it. He knows airports are chilly, and airplanes are often even more chilly. He knows that tiger errs on the side of cold always anyway, so he packs a few extra sweaters just because he knows that like...she doesn’t. She doesn’t think of it. And make no mistake, the extra sweaters are for him--because he always gives her the sweater off his back. She’s more comforted that way, it’s warm and it smells like him and she always huddles into it. 

And it’s not that travelling stresses tiger out--she quite enjoys it actually--but it’s all just so thrilling, that sometimes she has a hard time focusing. Bill is a high roller, man he has access to all the lounges and always either flies business class, or is ballin’ enough to be bumped to business class just when the airline agents see how many points he has. And tiger is just taking it all in--the wine in the lounge, the fanciness of it all, the prestige. She’s all up in ends and Bill has to help kind of ground her--just be that steady presence that keeps her in check, tells her to eat. He fixes a plate for her always, because tiger is like a kid in a candy store and there’s just so much to be amazed about. He thinks it’s adorable, god she makes his heart skip a few beats, but he knows she’s also looking for a bit of stability, some anchor that she can hold onto amidst all the excitement--and that’s what he is. 

They, obviously, always sit together on the plane. She always gets lots of head scritchies to help her relax and fall asleep. And listen, if turbulence should hit? He’s all over it. I, low key, really love turbulence--man that shit will just rock you right to sleep. I’ve been on a few flights where I have legitimately been scared--I’ve been on flights where an engine blew out after take off and we had to emergency land, or a flight where the tail of the aircraft split clean in half about 3,000 ft above ground and we had a crash landing, I’ve been on flights where the back wheels hit the runway and then the pilot had to take off again at almost a 90 degree angle because an aircraft was too close in front of him and I’ve nearly passed out from the G force. And actually the flight to Bali from Qatar was very turbulent--but I’ve mostly been able to retain my calm. No plane in history has ever been downed by turbulence alone. 

Bill knows that. He’s used to it. But tiger? Tiger has all of her claws dug into his forearm the minute the plane starts to shake even just slightly. It rouses him from a deep sleep--his goofy eye mask on and all--and he lifts it and squints at her. He’s a little grumpy, but the minute he sees the pure panic etched on her face, he morphs into caretaker mode immediately.

“It’s okay kid,” he says, “It’s just a rough patch.”

Sure enough, the seatbelt sign dings and the announcement from the captain comes on.

“Bill...” she says, and there’s a hint of a whine in her voice. He wishes he could just squeeze in close to her, just envelop her in his arms but the centre console between their seats separates them. He reaches his arm around her anyway, cranes so he can kiss her temple.

“We’re okay tiger,” he says into her ear, “Turbulence is normal. Nothing to worry about.”

She whines again, reaching a hand and she balls it into his t-shirt. He moves his hand to her hair, scritching lightly.

“Just breathe kid,” he says, “It’s okay.”

He can’t ding the flight attendant because they can’t move during turbulence anyway, so instead he reaches for his water bottle and uncaps it, offers it to her.

“Drink,” he instructs. She takes a small sip, but she tenses the minute the plane starts to rock again.

“We’re okay, I promise,” he says, “Turbulence isn’t dangerous kid. Not in the slightest.”

She looks unsure, everything about her is tense and worried.

“Hey,” he says and he taps her nose “You trust me?”

“Of course I trust you.”

“And you know how much I fly?”

“Yes.”

“It’s nothing kid,” he reassures, “Try and relax. Come here, I’ll rub your tummy.”

“I don’t need my--”

But listen, he manages to combine their blankets and creates a cocoon around the two of them. He reaches over and reclines her seat back a bit, boosts up the foot rest so she’s comfortable, and then under the blanket he lifts her shirt a little--and his warm hand just rubs back and forth, massages on her lower stomach just how she likes. He puts a pillow on the centre console, pulls the blanket up a little and pulls her over so she can lean across it--and then he rests his thumb on her lips.

“Billy--” she mumbles, but he hushes her.

“No one can see kid,” he kisses her nose softly, “I promise. Go on.”

#bill skarsgard #bill skarsgard drabble #BFF!Bill #soft bill

[tessaliagrey]

Bo’s redemption - or the lack thereof

Every time we get an episode of Star Wars that has Bo-Katan in it, tumblr is full of everything from “OMG I love her, she’s the coolest and sooo badass!” to “OMG I hate her, she’s a terrorist!”. And I might say you are all right.

One of the things that comes up periodically is Bo-Katan’s redemtion - or the lack thereof - depending on how you see her character in general (see above).

In my opinion, Bo has no real redemption arc. And I don’t think we’ll ever get one. As to why, I think it helps to retrace her steps...as far as we as viewers know them.

The first time we see her in mid-season four of TCW, she is a faceless (literally) Death Watch lieutenant on Carlac. She slaps Ahsoka’s ass, burns down a town, helps kill the townspeople and tries to kill Ahsoka and Lux Bontari as they escape. And she seems to have fun doing all that. Yep, solid terrorist. And I’m not budging on that. There is nothing “badass” about that. It’s just wrong.

The first time we see her as an independent character is during the Lawless arc. She’s still fully emerged in Death Watch. And even though she might not think of getting Maul to “help” is a good idea (I think she really thinks that Sith are no better than Jedi), she stands by Vizsla’s decision to join forces with him.

But that is also the part where we begin to see that while she is loyal to Vizsla, she is also probably one of very few people who are allowed to contradict him. Maybe not publicly, but at least bewteen the two of them. She tells Vizsla to his face that she thinks joinging forces with Maul and Savage is a bad idea. But she seems to trust Vizsla so much that only a few words from him are needed to quench her fears; at least for the time being.

But the longer this allience between Maul and Death Watch lasts, the more worried she gets. She sees that Vizsla is loosing his grip on the situation. But her trust in him seems to be unbreakable. Even when he says that “Maul will soon be dead alongside the duchess”, she doesn’t say anything. She just smirks. He tells her to her face that her sister will die at the end, and she doesn’t say anything. (As to why, we can only speculate, and that’s not what I want to get into right now.)

And then, for a few days maybe, everything looks like it all panned out the way she wanted. Maul and her sister are imprisoned, a “true” Mandalorian rules, and the people will find their way back to the warrior faith that was still openly practiced until the beginning of Satine’s rule after the civil war.

But then, everything changes. And quickly. Maul escapes his prison and challenges Vizsla to a duel, which he naturally accepts (he might just run himself through with the Dark Saber if he didn’t). And loses. He dies; unceremoniously, broken and defeated. And only then, only in those last few moments of Vizsla’s life, does Bo-Katan realize that it was all for nothing. That her vision of Mandalore will not come to pass. That it ended in one swift motion of a black blade.

Maul declares himself ruler of Mandalore, and a not unsignificant part of Death Watch bows down to him. Bo rejects his rule - not because he killed Vizsla, which Bo is visibly shocked by - but because “no outsider will ever rule Mandalore”. She and others loyal to her, like the Nite Owls, make a run for it and escape the palace.

She then teams up with her nephew Korkie (How the hell did they get in touch?) to rescue Satine (Why? We never learn that!), and Bo seriously tries to save her sister’s life. But they are overpowered by Maul’s Death Watch loyalists and barely escape while Satine is recaptured as bait for Obi-Wan.

We don’t know where Bo was when Maul killed Satine or how she learned about her sister’s death. The next time we see her, she and her Nite Owls rescue Obi-Wan from being imprisoned and help him escape, asking him to tell the Republic what happened, even if it meant a Republic invasion of Mandalore. The reason she gives is that “Maul will die. But Mandalore will survive.” Why she wants Maul dead; if it is because he killed her sister, because he killed Vizsla or because he’s - from her POV - the reason it all failed, we never learn. Maybe, in the end, it is a combination of all three. But that is speculation.

Well, the Republic doesn’t get a move on when it comes to Mandalore and it takes the unlikely alliance of Bo-Katan and Ahsoka to get Anakin and Obi-Wan to agree. Again, all we really know is that Bo wants Maul off Mandalore, preferably in pieces. She brings up Satine to goad Obi-Wan into helping her, but we still don’t know if she actually grieves/grieved for her sister, or more for a lost ideal of Mandalore.

Well, the siege of Mandalore finally happens, and by the end, Bo is left in charge as regent. It is also the only time we hear any words of regret from her. “I wish I was good at something other than war.”

After that we have a nice 17 year gap in Bo’s story, and anything we know about that time comes down to hearsay. We learn that she was betrayed by Clan Saxon (who had followed Maul) and had to flee Sundari. We get the feeling that Fenn Rau as a protector knew her personally around the time of her regency, but we don’t really know that for sure.

But something in the past seventeen years did change in Bo-Katan. Well, it is quite some time to reflect on your actions and choices. We get the feeling that she did learn to understand her sister’s motives, though they will never be hers. And that she can recognize what her sister acomplished as a leader. She’s a lot more considerate of other people’s positions. But we never hear a word of regret for what she did during the Clone Wars, for being part of Death Watch. And maybe that is because there simply is no regret. Bo-Katan as a person might be a lot calmer and a lot more considerate, but her ideals of what Mandalore should be, of what it stands for and what it means to be Mandalorian, haven’t changed.

Bo-Katan may have matured; grown as a person. She does try to do right by her people. But there is no redemption. We might like the way her character is portrayed in Rebels and The Mandalorian, and we might even wish for her to be redeemed, but quite honestly: How?

No, I’m afraid we will have to live with our conflicting views of Lady Bo-Katan of House Kryze, where we love her and hate her, but can’t get around her. And face it, people, we wouldn’t want it any other way.

#Bo-Katan Kryze #bo katan kryze #Bo-katan #Bo Katan #the mandalorian #the mandalorian spoilers #star wars #star wars tcw #star wars rebels #death watch #mandalore #have I tagged every possible way to spell bo-katan? #Maybe #or maybe not #who knows

[xserpx]

Battle Ground Thoughts

Major spoilers below.

The Good

I really enjoyed the last part of the fight with Ethniu. Hendrick's sacrifice was well done, and the Marcone reveal was fantastic. The action was really great, although it did get too much at times, especially the beginning of the fight with Ethniu where it’s more like reading a shonen manga, lots of huge ‘final’ attacks and mist clearing as they wait for the blood spray before someone pulls a trap card. Still pretty likeable.

Marcone as a Knight of the Blackened Denarius is intriguing. My one caveat is that I think it diminishes his post-Small Favor achievements quite a bit, knowing he had access to all that power. It makes sense, especially considering just how much Marcone was able to get done, but yeah, I liked this little twist. Marcone is probably the main reason I would keep reading the books, as things stand.

I like the fact Harry's finally been kicked off the White Council, as he should be. I'm not sure why this is controversial, though. He’s clearly broken several laws, and tbh I was kind of surprised they kept him on after becoming the Winter Knight, like... conflicted interests, much?

Drakul and the Blampires were cool. Wouldn't mind seeing them again.

The Bad

Justine's reveal, while interesting bc omg Outsiders infesting the characters we love, it also absolutely terrifies me in terms of what it actually means for Thomas/Justine both in the future and in the past. A future that might not even happen, now. And considering how long it's been since she was infected, it's entirely possible a lot of Justine's feelings have been manufactured as well. One of the things at the top of my Do Not Want list was Justine or the baby getting hurt, and now we’re here.

I'm severely disinterested in Harry/Lara. I have no idea where it's going, but it's boring at best. Maybe Jim Butcher has an idea for it that doesn’t result in me rolling my eyes, but I’m not feeling charitable today.

Ivy and Harry never got a proper conversation. Also why tf was Ivy dressed in a school uniform for that fight? Unless she's a sailor senshi or something, it just doesn't make sense. Plus she should be in her mid-late teens by now, ffs, not her early teens.

We're still drawing out the Starborn mystery? Ugh, ok.

Michael's cursing out the White Council for kicking Harry off the team... Completely OOC, sorry, I hated it. Michael is a great character because he doesn't swear as a matter of principle. If he had to start swearing, that was a bad hill to choose.

The way the morality of the White Council flip flops depending on Dresden's mood is getting annoying. At the meeting at the end, he says the Council is the biggest defender of humanity, and that he's clearly sitting at the monsters' table, but they're also supposed to be the enemy for treating him as such? Ebenezar and some of the Seniors are douchebags, for sure - especially Eb as it's personal - but Carlos and the rest are solid good guys trying to do their best. After everything that's happened, Harry shouldn't be so freaking bitter. He’s a monster now. Either own it, or make different choices. Also Carlos should’ve told him what Molly did to him. I hate that this hasn’t been addressed and that Carlos just looks like a suspicious bastard when he’s actually sustained life-changing injuries and trauma. Communication generally between Harry and the White Council needs to start happening like yesterday.

Butters needs to just go away, please. Give me a break from this shithead. He's had a few months of training and can keep up with literally everyone. He gets all these Crowning Moments of Awesome, but he never suffers for it, and at this point I'm genuinely wondering whether he'll ever suffer any consequences whatsoever. Also he constantly outshines Sanya, who is ostensibly better qualified, and the Sword of Hope should have been the stronger of the two in that last fight. I’m sick of hearing how great Butters is, and being expected to laugh at all his dumb, nerdy references.

Harry barely thinks about Thomas when he considers his recent losses. Sure Thomas is still alive, but barely, with no guarantees he'll survive or that he'll come back the same person. Harry should be grieving for him as much as he's grieving for Karrin at this point. I also wanted there to be more reason behind Thomas's actions, some sort of conspiracy within the White Court, but there wasn't. It's bad enough being anxious for Thomas, but being anxious for his whole goddamn family is just way too much, ffs.

The Ugly

I mean, I've told people: if I'd tried to imagine a worst case scenario for Karrin Murphy's death, it would have been better than the ending we got. It's worse than James Norrington dying at the hands of Bootstrap Bill. It's worse than Superman's dad dying while trying to save the dog. She shouldn't have died at all, period, but if she absolutely had to go, there is no fucking way in HELL that that was the best way for it to happen. Whether she comes back or not, there is no way to justify that scene. Gard saying she saved everyone by defending Dresden might be a satisfying Watsonian explanation for some, but of all the times, of all the places, of all the ways, and of all the people... JB picked the absolute worst possible combination. Absolute. Garbage. It's not that he can't write decent sacrifices. Hendrick's death was superb! So why the FUCK couldn't Murph get the same treatment? Why the FUCK was she killed off so FUCKING pointlessly? This isn't a real life story. This isn't some hyperrealistic, anyone can die, Game of Thrones type bullshit, where you can just kill off the second main character as shock value and have it be valuable to a bigger theme. This is the Dresden Files, a fucking series where all the women are Playboy models, and there's a middle-aged dweeby guy in sports goggles riding a skateboard and wielding a lightsaber and facing off with a Titan after just a few months of training, and having threesomes with bisexual women half his age, one of whom wears a fucking Avengers t-shirt to bed. It's a fanservice show. So it is not too much to ask for the main female character to be given the kind of death she actually deserves, let alone that she be allowed to live long enough to enjoy a relationship that's been so fantastically built up over 15+ books. (Query: was any of her family at her funeral? Audiobooks make searching hard, and I can’t find out if that was mentioned.) It's not unfair to hate the FUCK out of JB for pulling such a horrible, awful, LAZY move. I didn’t cry when it happened. I actually laughed quite a bit, maniacally, because it was that much of a train wreck. I'm not crying now, either. I'm just so, so tired. RIP Murph.

Granted, I haven't had to wait for a Dresden Files book like this before. Skin Game had a very neat ending, whereas this asks way, way, way more questions than it answers, which is probably more par for the course in this series? But now my two favourite characters are out of the field and may never come back, and I'm just so fucking tired and disappointed, and tired of being disappointed. I don't know whether it's worth staying invested in the vague hope Jim Butcher will start giving a shit about anyone other than Butters, but I can't see the next book being much good when Thomas and Karrin won't be there. When Karrin may never be there again. When I don't even know if the next book will show up, or if there'll be another hiatus resulting in a mediocre story.

I'm predicting that there'll be a Murph-centric short story in the near future that'll probably be a "gotcha!" to all the fans like me who fucking hate how BG turned out. Either it'll finish her off entirely or hint at a resurrection, which may or may not come. Either way, it won't justify her death. It won't make this better.

If I wasn’t as invested in Karrin, I’d like this book more. I can understand if people like it, and there are definitely some good things about it, but it’s hard to appreciate those bits when there’s such a massive pile of stinking shit sitting smack bang in the middle.

#dresden files #battle ground #battle ground spoilers