#I think I’m tired that’s gotta be it

[okcoolthanks]

How to stop feeling like an awful person after accidentally crossing someone’s boundary even though you talked to them about it and apologized and know you won’t do it again and they understood it was an accident and it’s fine and you two are still on good terms

#god I just #Ughhghhg #I can’t stop THINKING about it it wasn’t even that bad they said i was doing a bit and it was getting annoying #and I said i was sorry like multiple times and I said I won’t do that but again and they were like ‘no you can! it just got a little annoyi #ng it’s fine!’ and I still feel like a terrible person #I think I’m tired that’s gotta be it #or I’m mentally going through what I went through with my old friends and how I got mad at them and lashed out when I shouldn’t have and #refused to apologize and got into a big argument and then had one conversation about it and got mad again and then lashed out AGAIN and then #texted that I didn’t want to be friends any more and then I cried for weeks and every time I’d see one of them I’d want to throw up and I wa #s constantly miserable I didn’t want to go to school and I did everything that I could ok the comic because it was a fun distraction but it #also made me sad because I wanted to finish it and show it to them but they weren’t ever actually interested in it and I never got to show #them and I even made two characters in it based on two of my best friends in that group at the time and now I don’t know if I should delete #them entirely or keep it or change the characters???????? I don’t know #fuck #oh yeah one of those best friends basically took the plot of HBD and changed it a little and is gonna make a fucking short film with it #it’s a stupid fucking plot too it’s one of those like coming of age stories where the main character wears a ghost sheet and it’s actually a #metaphore for being socially anxious because he has a bad home life but then! then he’s walking to class and someone steps on the sheet and #it comes off! and they become best friends and they work through their problems! #Jesus fucking Christ I can’t believe her #I told her it was similar and that she should change it but we were gonna discuss that the week I texted I wasn’t coming back so #If she makes it I’m gonna sue her I don’t fucking care I told her I fucking told her and later that fucking day she ‘came up with it on her #own’ fucking Christ man get a life #I need to stop typing and go to sleep idk why I did that #sorry for the rant!

[goldensunset]

joining the war on autism on the side of the autism etc etc

#i’m never drawing again i swear (lie) (i enjoy suffering) #n harmonia #natural harmonia gropius #zekrom #pokémon #pokemon #pokemon black and white #pokémon black and white #pkmn bw #pokemon bw #my art #bw #AAHHHHGHGGGHGH blorbo. i’m very tired but like #i have to commemorate every game i play! #i would say i am this guy’s biggest fan but i’m like 13 (14?) years late to this party i know i’m not #i haven’t even put scratched the surface of blorboposting yet i’ve seen some wild and good stuff out there i gotta step up my game #hope this looks ok i was kinda rushing to get it done while it’s still february lol #(i have a self imposed rule that i have to draw at least one thing a month) #zekrom can be wildly too small to scale. as a treat. i needed it to fit in the frame LOL #i’m quite proud of this i think. we’ll see how tomorrow’s me feels! #usually i regret posting something immediately after finishing it esp when late at night but as i said i’m rushing lol #one of the first pokémon i’ve ever drawn and it’s a Complicated Legendary. goody #but like look at my boy n right #[edit: fixed a few minor issues]

[botanybulbasaur]

vertin gender

hey you guys ever think about how arcana and constantine refer to vertin with feminine terms (ex: lady vertin), how people who are on their side but who are perceived as people who “aren’t close with” vertin time and time again refer to them with “timekeeper” and they/she (ex: sonetto, madam z), and how people who look as vertin not as a leader or an ‘enigma’ (they/she, timekeeper) nor as someone they can pawn on their side (she/her, ‘lady vertin’) refer to them with masculine terms, such as ‘sir’ or ‘lord’? (ex: an—an lee, schneider)

it’s like. the less you look at them as a pawn and the more you look at them as a person the less cisgender everything gets. i should probably do a serious theory on this

#yes i named the post just ‘bertín gender’ i’m fucking TIRED bro #yonk mimimimi #reverse 1999 #r1999 #re1999 #also forgot to say but tenant’s “my lady” when she’s trying to scam vertin. hoo buddy #even when she’s too young for her tricks it’s still a pawn situation #z (unless i’m missing something) refers to vertin only by name + timekeeper and i think x does too. the true neutral party #and then sonetto #who refers to vertin with ‘they’ half the time and she + timekeeper others #the foundation has taught her vertin’s a pawn #the outside world treats her like a leader they need to sway to their side #but she mantains a mostly neutral stance #..with some foundation influence sliding in #really cool though imo #gotta be a conscious choice

[royaltea000]

TMA x Hetalia crossovers are so good actually cuz the nations as a concept are pretty creepy if you think about it. Like you’re telling me that there are people who are not people out there that can know you deeply and fundamentally as a person and a timeline if you look into a certain one’s eyes? That have lived quite literally since the beginning of civilizations whom all the blessings and curses of humanity have been thrust upon?? Witnesses to our rise and downfall??? And they’re just OUT THERE?????

In the Magnus Institute there is a hallway lined with portraits of important founders and sponsors only one of which is a painting done in the 1800s of a young man with green eyes and the thickest eyebrows. A portrait that looks suspiciously like the guy who pops in from time to time to have private meetings with Elias. Must be a descendant.

I headcanon that countries faces can’t be digitally recorded in any matter and if they are photographed they become blurry and distorted or obscured by a conveniently passing object or person so the only way they can be portrayed is through drawings. Anyways read Changing Face by Slovenskych on ao3 it gave me so many brainworms that I’m this close to mailing them my hospital bill :)

#long post I know sorry #but I’ve loved this kind of genre of crossovers for forever #and it’s just all spilling out in this one afternoon #I wish more people would write Hetalia into the horror genre I think it’s so interesting #fuck I gotta do everything myself I guess 😤 #bro I’m tired of cookin sometimes I just wanna eat out 😭😭 #I’m so sad there’s so little tma x Hetalia crossovers… #😔 #tma x hetalia #tma podcast #the magnus archives #hetalia #hetalia world stars

[squuote]

I think people should be allowed to share their distaste for certain headcanons n such without people making posts about how they’re ‘gatekeeping’. for as much as I’m a ‘do what you want’ kinda dude, I do think that includes allowing people to express why they don’t enjoy something. like most people are pretty civil bout it until you antagonize them by pointing and saying they’re ‘policing’ spaces.

#crow thoughts #sorry fandom stuff is like. kinda stressing me out a bit #and it’s kinda making me nervous to post opinions on things. #additionally I think people need to hear out minorities when it comes to things and not antagonize them #additionally if they aren’t going up to people and saying rude shit or actively posting rude shit in the tags #what does it matter if they don’t enjoy your headcanon? #like I’ve already seen four different posts all talking about fandom negativity and it’s like. just block them. #additionally maybe also don’t put those posts in the main tags? especially if the other person just posted it to their blog :-| #im not explaining this correctly. I just don’t have good experience with people who point and claim negativity #especially in the context of actual criticism about character design preferences and the treatment of certain designs #like you cannot deny that people treat fat designs very differently from skinny designs #ur not a bad dude for having a skinny design but you gotta allow people to discuss and critique things #idk I’m just tired as fuck seeing people in the main tags make longass posts about an opinion from a handful of people- #-who only posted it to their blog and not directly in the tags yknow? #if I get too anxious I’ll delete this but for now I’ll post this

[accursedvoid]

“Oh but they’re struggling creatives who need the money more” okay then why didn’t they join another streaming service rather than making their own and forcing everyone (of those that even can) to buy into yet another fucking streaming service

#watcher #y’all keep comparing them to CH/dropout which from what I know has more content creators thus making it more worth it and like ok #why don’t they go join them and the Nebula thing then #why they gotta paywall behind another fucking streaming service when there’s already 50 odd and growing???? #I think they’ve severely overestimated how many can/will do so and this will probably collapse/implode on them possibly #look man I’m fucking tired of having 5 billion streaming services #who has the money for all these things I miss having like 1-3 that had everything #y’all I got bills to pay and groceries to afford in this economy this is a hard pass #anyway Yo Ho y’all 🏴‍☠️ #accursed posts #my posts #edit: also to say ‘struggling’ when Steven keeps flying around to eat expensive food yeah ok sure

[swordsandspectacles]

Self-Portrait, ft. the Ruadog (who is just… snoring up a storm behind me)

Just… feeling a bit tired lately, this was nice to draw.

#sadbh art #now like. did I draw this and immediately burst into tears? yes. but soemtimes you gotta! I think #and I like the style a lot #it’s not a memorial it’s like. sort of sad feeling but I’m ok! juet. a little lost and tired #but I did a nice art out of it #and that’s what matters…?

[nothirstonmain]

Me after learning things that makes me question my friendship with two guys who, literally yesterday, I was having so much fun talking to ���

#nothirstonmain.og #I AM VAGUEING PEOPLE YEAH #I’m so tired this is the Second Timw #but I also ✨AFRAID✨ #‘’awe Miku here we go again’’ — I just want peace #anyways. now I gotta Think #system secret society save me #SO CONFLOCTED #I’m just gonna take a bath and sing along to will wood and pretend to be Fine

[autistic-katara]

seeing ur beloved mutual reblogging some questionable shit (probably unintentionally) but not having the energy to argue or explain why </3

#please i dont wanna have to be the one to correct u fuckers every time u reblog a mildly disguised dogwhistle #goyish mutuals please talk to some jews (who r knowledgeable and want to educate ppl) #cause stg some of the stuff i’m seeing is 2 steps below nazi propaganda #and ik its most likely not malicious but god i’m so tired #please educate urself on some stuff #bcz some of the shit ur rbing could easily be found on some neonazi page if u just (((added some of these around the word zionist))) #or just replaced the word zionist with “jews” or smthn #or idk just so many posts if u tweaked the language just a little but kept the same message it would be blatant nazi shit #and yeah sure the post sounds normal nd everything or whatever but u gotta remembered the point of dogwhistles is to seem innocuous #to signal to other nazis to make them sound more sympathetic and to make ppl calling them out seem insane #just please guys i’m begging u watch out for those posts that r like #“the zionists in hollywood r censoring x” or #“oh no! x jewish celebrity is scared of antisemitism in their big mansion? so sad! lets address their hurt feelings right away #dead palestinian children can wait!” #or whatever #like yes what israel is doing is beyond fucked nd the us being supportive of it is gross but please ffs watch what ur reblogging/posting #think abt if its denying/downplaying antisemitism #if u replaced the word “zionist” with “jew” would it sound like a conspiracy theory? #are u dehumanising jewish/israeli ppl in any way? #(bcz yes not every israeli citizen is the actual devil yk i dont think my 2 month old cousin ever bombed anyone) #yk just please think before u post/reblog jesus fucking christ #idk i kinda went off on a whole rant here oops- #antisemitism #ryan shut the fuck up

[anto-pops]

“Hmm. My steering wheel alignment is a little janky all of a sudden, wonder what it could be.”

*It was me driving the rim of my tire into the ground because I had a flat*

#at least I have an excuse to leave work early now #gotta go drop money on a new tire and steel myself for the inevitable upcharge they’ll hit me with cause I’m a WOMAN #I’m not handing over my credit card without a fight #for some reason when bad things happen my mood improves what does that mean #I think I’m secretly an optimist cause I instantly will find the silver lining in any fucked up situation #a.txt

[starswirly]

I think affection from various skeletons could fix me

#Actually a good nights rest and a break from socializing #would really do the trick #but I won’t be getting at least one of those things for a while #Random Ramblings #Is this venty? #the tags might be #I promise I’m alright!! #My brain is just tired and directing the tired upset thoughts at me #just gotta give the brain a break to even things back out #yknow? #Thinking about my oc cuddling NM now #dont mind me #the skeletons are my emotional support

[fowlaroundtown]

Collection of Jasonnie doodles from today because I cannot stop thinking about them.

#might digitalize some of rhese later but who knows #Jason is one of two people that has bare shell touching rights in the entire world #(it’s him and Mikey) #(oh and April too actually) #I just was thinking about them being cuddley today I’m sorry #They aren’t usually this touchy I don’t think but sometimes your just tired and gotta snuggle #I think Donnie does that thing in the second picture a lite #where he rests his head on Jason’s head #his hair feels nice #and it smells good so it’s a win win #anyway #rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #donnie rottmnt #jason rottmnt #rottmnt jasonnie #pat gives up tag #my art

[devilishdelights]

now m just thinking abt trans woman lucifer and how it just fits and makes me feel so many things.

#oiuuhghh lucifer has always got to be my favorite character trope? in media. #always got a soft spot for em (except supernatural’s. gross) #me holding my two Lucifer coded ocs and giggling gleefully #not obey me lucifer. like Bible lucifer. I’m agnostic bordering very much atheist so the Bible really is just a fun little fantasy book 2 me #just taking the basis of the story and running with it and making him a sympathetic character. #however I still do got anxiety though. when I end up meeting the real thing #n he’s atrocious and awful and laughing at me. sorry for making little guys and using ur lore for inspo 🙄🙄🙄🙄 suck my dick #doesn’t he technically still work for god though….. I thought u hated the guy………anyway. #tags ended up completely unrelated to the post I’m just thinking thoughts. #there’s actual real like. introspection or whatever into it but I’m too tired to think articulate thoughts. #mammon is my nonbinary lesbian girlboyfriend. nonbinary lesbian 4 nonbinary lesbian W #beel is trans 2 me…. belphie is Agender or smth. I’m projecting on tht one leave me alone #Ik it’s very basic but I do really like genderfluid asmo #I gotta write shit down someday #I do also like agender lucifer (projecting again)

[maggi-cube]

There’s just so much evil I’ve learned about today I don’t know how to hold it all

#today I saw a East African young woman who was freed from slavery talking about being trafficked #the torture and death she witnessed #elsewhere children are dying slowly meanwhile those literally demonic zionists are partying and laughing #naked co-signing by global governments #Sudan #Congo #there’s even the Congress trying to sneak Kosa by today (16th) #i donate an esim only to find it’s not even useful anymore cause the power is cut and the world is full of shit #i boycott + I’m too broke anyway #student protest #gotta call my reps tmr #even though they WILL ignore us #i’m losing my mind #and literally everyone is in on it in ways I’ve never personally experienced before although I studied it #it’s so jarring #to know is one thing but to witness something so wrong is literally so disorienting I’m dizzy just thinking of it #don’t you get tired of hurting other people? doesn’t it hurt you? why doesn’t it hurt you? why? why? why?

[aregularhuman]

idk, something about House never really changing through the series. even when he did rehab n got sober, life was still shitty- he was still in pain and dealing with interpersonal issues and the repercussions of his childhood. something about how maybe the shittiness of life/mental illness can’t really be overcome, but dealt with, and how exhausting dealing can be, how easy it is to slip back to old habits. things don’t change, they move on. some people stay the same (Wilson), and some change and get sick of you (Cuddy), all because you’re unable to change. people don’t change, right? only seasons do- something about middle age can be so profound or so deeply sad. the first episode is everybody lies and the last is everybody dies- the same but more sad- it’s been a progressive journey downhill that everyone could see, but felt helpless to do anything about.

the way Wilson tried to change too! but just as he had three failed marriages at the start, he only had failed relationships throughout the show. he tried to break up with house, but he kept coming back to this codependent nightmare of a friendship. they’re doomed to be together in some way. are they simply too old and their neuronal pathways too set for them to change or are we all pathetically forever influenced by our traumatic childhoods and past experiences? are we pre-determined by our own trauma to fail? (me thinking about all those studies about the effects of child n adolescent anxiety on adult health outcomes)

and the way that kindest thing house did for anyone was letting thirteen go, releasing her from the rot around him that foreman and chase got sucked into- they both became like him in their own awful ways. the way she chose him to let her go from this life because of his emotional repression and the comfort it provided her and wilson at times. the way it can be so hard to even try to change when everyone, including yourself, have this idea of who you are and should be- what happened when house tried to leave the hospital to stick to his sobriety? how many jokes were made by the team that they preferred him on Vicodin? the distrust he faced from cuddy and Wilson about his sobriety? why bother changing if no one likes it? if no one keeps their word (Wilson making him move out)? and even Wilson’s cancer journey was so painfully real and them, the same they always were- house selfish and Wilson’s emotions not properly cared for? but could it have been another way? when I first got spoilered about houses faux suicide I thought it was gonna be entirely for Wilson bc I didn’t know about the jail thing, but when I watched it it made me so sad because it wasn’t the selfless meaningful act I was hoping for, but just them and their messy dynamics…. house giving up the one thing that gave his life meaning to stay with the one person that stuck with him- did he truly change, or is this yet another impulse decision the ocean of life will support him out of?

#house #house md #idk I’m emotional and on s7 of my rewatch #mental illness #I ship hilson not in a sexy way but in a who else way- sometimes you gotta settle for the only person who’ll have you and who you can stand #some people want Wilson to get chemo but the man is fucking tired #s8 made me reevaluate my own friendships and people pleasing #thinking thoughts #i too am bad with change #not in autistic way #I just ruminate

[ezraphobicsoup]

spending the time (it is time to type out the full weezer discography into a spreadsheet)

#i think i’m enjoying myself??? i’m not quite sure anymore tbh but i’m not in distress or major unhappiness so it’s gotta be at least ok #mm been thinking about the ballad of costa concordia today aaaaaa #recommend the actual story of the ship iptself it’s pretty interesting too #mmmmm maybe i don’t do this now #i want to read books i think #need to do duolingo still oh we’ll post redundant send post hello how are you i’m a bit tired myself hope you’re well :)