#I would also love to see Benedict get a queer love story and I do think there's more of a chance there but I don't trust netflix lol

[andmineisyellow]

Hey, I know you are mostly a Polin blog, but I like to read your thoughts on here, so I thought I'd ask anyway: do you think it could be possible that bridgerton is doing the rich x poor trope with Eloise and Theo and instead saving a different storyline for Benedict (hopefully something queer 🤞)? And no, I'm not just saying this bc I like Theo, but since Ruby is most likely not coming back and I really can't see Eloise settling for some old man, idk... Btw, I haven't read any of the books, but what I've read about Eloise's and Benedict's arcs doesn't rlly make sense to me (sorry)

I wouldn't necessarily rule it out mainly because there are always practical/logistical reasons that may force the show to go in a different direction. That said, I don't think it's the current plan they have in mind.

Theo only exists in Eloise's world. He has a bit of a run-in with Whistledown as well, but he never interacts with Penelope directly. He exists only to push Eloise's story forward and because of that, he feels more like a plot device than anything else. He is there to demonstrate that Eloise is perhaps more interested in love than she realized and to drive a wedge between her and Penelope (and to try and convince the audience that Eloise is straight tbh).

Phillip, while still a supporting player, has been introduced to Bridgerton's larger world. He is familiar with the family through the Featheringtons and through Colin now as well. I don't know why the show would go out of its way to introduce Phillip and bring him back unless there was a plan to make him more important down the line. The only way I could see this changing is if Chris Fulton booked a bigger job elsewhere. As a guest star, he is not under a multi-season contract. Even then, there is always the option to recast.

It's not necessarily what I would like to see personally. Any storyline that involves Marina dying or having to abandon her children would probably outright ruin the series for me. I would much rather the show flip the script. They should kill off Phillip and have Eloise run away to Marina instead. They could still hit the basic plot points of TSPWL while avoiding killing off Marina and giving us the queer representation so many people have been asking for. If Ruby were to make the decision not to come back, there would be a precedent for recasting.

We all know that this won't happen as Netflix has shown over and over again that it's not interested in appealing to Bridgerton's potential queer/LGBTQ+ demographic. This is especially true for sapphic women in particular because Netflix worries about losing the straight female demographic that the show has been marketed towards. But I do think it's the option that would please the most amount of people and they're definitely missing out by excluding the queer community.

I don't know... changing Eloise's love interest from a white man to... another white man, wouldn't feel like a particularly bold or interesting move to me even if Theo is of a different class, I'm also not sure why the writers would be motivated to do so. But if the only alternative to Phillip is Theo, then I would much rather see Theo in the future than have to witness any harm coming to Marina.

And you're definitely right about Phillip and Eloise's books not lining up. They're my two least favorite in the series. A Cinderella Story is basic enough that it could still work for Benedict, but Book Eloise's love story is just super far removed from who Eloise is in the show.

#I have lots of complicated feelings about the way they're handling Eloise's story #I'm more concerned about about how they treat Marina than I am about how they tell Eloise's love story tbh #I would also love to see Benedict get a queer love story and I do think there's more of a chance there but I don't trust netflix lol #bridgerton #eloise bridgerton #ask #oh hello #not proofread

[i-hate-accidents]

i hate accidents: the beginning

femme!reader x benedict bridgerton, femme!reader & the bridgerton family, femme!reader & penelope featherington

summary:  the adventures of a working class femme who befriends a fellow writer, a boisterous family, and a bewitching second eldest son

sections:  I. the beginning / II. the between / III. the ball

y/n:  bipoc, she/her, afab, nonbinary femme, queer, working class, of immigrant parents

content warnings:  classism, mentions of financial survival, microaggressive sexism, microaggressive gender assumption, positive/supportive families, allusions to alcohol abuse in [I.viii]

word count:  13.9k (of 38.8k)

story context:  everything in s1 and s2 of the tv series is canon for this story except for the s2 epilogue with the bridgertons.  this story takes place leading up to and into the 1815 season. 

additional notes:  this story is incomplete. scenes that are not written are described in chevrons <> with third person pov or are delineated by isolated ellipses. additionally, the author has only watched s2!  she has not watched any of s1 aside from clips, and they have not read the books aside from quotes used in edits.  they have not yet watched queen charlotte.  the author kinda knows the gist of an offer from a gentleman; they are familiar with sophie beckett (and are excited to meet her/them in the tv series!).

author’s note:  this is the first time the author has written fanfic in 13-15 years.  :)  it is her hope that they have made some progress since her pre/teens.  additionally, this fanfic has been written, on and off, over the course of two years.  the author sincerely hopes you find some sort of joy in it, especially the readers who maybe hope to see themself a little more specifically in the world we so love.

reading tip: whilst the author is proud of it, she understands the intro to the first section is long. if you wish to get more straight to y/n and benedict's story, the author suggests jumping to [I.ii]. they won't be offended that you did heh.

𝄆 ⚘ ✸ I.i ✸ ⚘ 𝄇

you do not know how you got here.

well, that is not true; you quite literally walked from the markets and followed the directions that penelope had given you, but you did not think those directions would lead you here.

this is a mistake.  i must have taken a wrong turn, gone up instead of down, made a left when i should’ve taken a right. 

or perhaps this is a dream?  yes!  that has to be it!  a dream!  i must have lulled off and dreamt myself here, for whatever reason.  once i close my eyes and open them again, surely i will be at home, or the markets, or the workshop even.  surely!  

so, you close your eyes shut.

you had been walking about the markets on your non-work day, some weeks ago, browsing the wares you wouldn’t (and couldn’t) buy, eavesdropping on any conversation of intrigue, observing the bustle of the crowd going about their day, mindlessly thinking of the next thing to write, daydreaming—when you had collided with someone.  they had let out a squeak, their materials flying out of their hands, as you had fallen on your back, thankfully not hitting your head.  in your periphery, you had seen how the person had crawled to your side and looked at you with urgency and concern.

“i am so sorry!”  their voice was pretty.  sweet and lovely.  you lifted yourself up a bit to see the person you had collided with.  they were also pretty— beautiful, red-haired, and hooded in blue.  

their eyes widened.

“er, i meant,” they spoke again, but this time with an— irish accent?  their voice was still sweet and lovely but very distinctly irish and distinctly different from their voice mere moments before. “are you hurt?”

“i am all right, thank you.”

“very well,” they said, still in their irish accent, “then i must be going—”  and they shot themself up and turned, you assumed, to run away.

“wait!  you’re a writer, yes?”

as you had hoped, the person in blue froze.  they slowly turned to you again, apprehension and intrigue in their eyes.

“how do you know?”  their voice was mangled between their two accents.

“unless you pluck birds for fun,” you stated as you collected the scattered materials they had dropped in the collision, “these are quills.”

you stood up, approached them, and held out their quills to take, offering a smile.  the stranger took the quills and put them in their bag.  they returned their eyes to you and returned your smile.

“thank you,” they responded in their english accent.

“i know how precious those are, so i am very glad to see they won’t go to waste.  well, they wouldn’t have gone to waste either way; i would’ve taken them if you hadn’t turned around.”

that caused the person in blue to laugh.

“i assume you are a writer?” they inquired.

you don’t know what had overcome you; you don’t know why you had been so trusting of this stranger, especially with something such as your writing, but you had been. you reached for your then most recent, folded up quarto, kept between your bosom and your blouse, and offered it to the stranger to read.  they took it, shifted their eyes from line to line, turned it to read the crossed lines, and then looked up at you, beaming.

“this is brilliant!— oh, forgive me; i did not even ask for your name.”

“y/n,” you extended your hand.  “and you?”

the stranger seemed to stiffen but quickly relaxed themself, taking your hand in theirs and shaking them.  they beamed still, but something of their smile had grown quietly mischievous.

“can you keep a secret?”

when you open your eyes, you huff out a breath in a poor attempt to assuage yourself from the reality of your situation:  you are not dreaming.  here you are—you—at grosvenor square.  

you knew of your friend’s circumstances as she had shared it:  she is a noble lady, a third sister of the featherington family, who has been writing scandal sheets of high society’s romps and happenings since her ‘debut,’ as she had put it (you hadn’t understood how she had used that word and became further confused upon her explanation of it), under a pseudonym called lady whistledown.  penelope has been kind enough to let you read her sheets, and you find it ridiculous what these high society persons do for their lives and utterly brilliant with what wit, snark, and compassion even penelope commentates on that world.  

but you did not ever, ever think that she would bring you to it, let alone into it.  when penelope had said that you were to meet her most beloved friend, you had thought it would be in an obscure alley or a room hidden behind a bookcase in an unassuming shop—not the literal neighborhood in which she, and presumably her friend, lives!  by your posture, by your clothes, by your very existence, it is blatant how much you do not belong here.

i should run.  i am going to run.

and so you turn and start—

“y/n!”

—when you hear the sweet voice of your friend.  you scrunch your eyes closed, inhaling and exhaling through your nose, and turn around and see penelope in a picturesque green dress, lifting up her skirt with gloved hands, scurrying down the pavement of her neighborhood towards you, beaming.  despite the anxiety that rages within you at this very moment, your heart swells upon seeing your friend in such enthusiastic spirits, and you smile despite yourself.

“good day, pen.”

she takes hold of your bare hands in her gloved ones and gives them a squeeze.  perhaps she can discern your nerves because you start to feel yourself calm ever so slightly by her gesture.

“i am so glad you are here,” she says.

“i am—— glad to see you,” you then lower your voice.  you do not know why; it is not as if your lowered voice will help conceal your existence in this place.  “are you certain i am permitted to be here?”

letting go of your hands, penelope swats at the question.

“the bridgertons and i care not about such things.”

“the— bridgertons?” 

“yes!” she turns and gestures to the grand brick house with wisterias.  “it is at their home, after all, in which we will be spending our time together.”

your jaw drops.

“we are staying inside the house?  not simply meeting outside the house?”

this is not a dream.  this is a nightmare.

penelope returns her eyes to yours, and it startles you with what tenderness she gazes at you.

“i understand that you are fearful, y/n.  i had presumed you would not have come if you had known we would be here.  but i would not have led you to bridgerton house if i did not think you would be safe here.  the bridgertons are the most inviting, kindly family of the ton— of high society,” she amends upon seeing your confusion at the word ‘ton.’  their name for their world, it seems.  “eloise has assured me that we shall be in her bedchamber for the entirety of our time together.  and if you wish to leave, for any reason, at any point, i shall accompany you, and we shall leave together.”

with closed eyes you heave a sigh through your nose.  you flutter your eyes open and offer penelope a weak, but sincere, smile.

“very well.”

penelope squeaks in excitement, taking hold of your hand once more, giving it another squeeze of encouragement, and leads you towards this bridgerton house as she so called it.  she raps at the stately door thrice with great eagerness, seeming to knock in perfect tandem with your beating-too-quickly heart.

an elderly man opens the door, about to greet penelope and her guest, when a young femme shoves herself through the opening.

“thank you, giles!” she calls out as if the man is across the road and then looks at you, ferocity in her eyes.  it ought to unnerve you, the whirlwind force of this stranger, but it doesn’t.  you just return her gaze with a large, albeit a bit bemused, smile.

“penelope has shared so much about you,” the stranger states and takes hold of your hand.  “let us get inside!” and yanks you into the house.  she turns, looking straight ahead, and barrels forward, pulling you with her.

as the fiery femme seems to soliloquize excitedly to herself, you look back at penelope who merely wears an amused smile at her friend’s antics as she follows behind.

“oh!” the femme exclaims suddenly.  she halts you both and sharply turns to you, still gripping your hand, grinning.  “my name is eloise.  eloise bridgerton.”

“y/n y/l/n.”

“excellent.  now!  with introductions all sorted—”

and she turns and barrels you both right, rather than heading straight ahead to the grand staircase as you had presumed she would.

“eloise—” eloise’s fervency had provided a reprieve to your anxiety, but the confusion in penelope’s voice puts you back ill at ease, “where are you—”

“it’ll take just a moment, worry not, pen!”

eloise leads you down a hall, noises and voices of all sorts coming from an entrance to a room, growing louder and louder as you approach until they reach the peaks of their volume as eloise halts you both once more, to your mortification, at the entrance of that very room.

“family, penelope, y/n, and i shall be in my bedchamber.  we have much to discuss.  please do not bother us,” eloise proudly announces to the entirety of the room.

silence falls.  all eyes—and there are many eyes—are on you.

oh, my god.

you turn to penelope.  her overall manner is calm and composed, but you can see the disquiet in her eyes.  she peers into you, the apologetic look conveying, i did not know this would happen.

you turn back to the family.  

a lady.  a lady of older age.  two gentlemen with a difference in age.  a boy.  a girl, the youngest amongst them.  

how is it with a house this massive in the middle of the city that the entire family is present in this one room?  well, the room is the size of the two floors of your home combined, if not larger, so in that sense it is sound—but your question still stands.

this has to be the entire family.  surely.  there are so many of them.  this has to be the entire family.  yes?

“no talking, no music playing, no fighting?” inquires a droll voice walking into the room, “has someone—” 

you turn your head to follow the source of the voice and make contact with dumbfounded ocean eyes.   

butterflies flutter in your stomach.

oh.

shit.

“y/n, this is my second eldest brother, benedict bridgerton,” eloise states.  “benedict, this is my friend, y/n y/l/n.  do not bother us once we are in my bedchamber.”

he stares and blinks at you but then assumes a gentlemanly posture and bows his head.

“it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, miss y/l/n.”

without any forethought you start to extend a hand to benedict until you hear penelope give a slight cough only you, she, eloise, and he can hear.  receiving the hint, you retract your hand and pretend to swat at your skirt.

“err— yes.  likewise.” 

another cough. 

“mis, ter?— brid… ger?—ton,” you articulate with complete and utter uncertainty of how this world’s introductions function.

he cocks his head and furrows his eyebrows at you, something like amusement playing at his features.  he wears a lopsided smile that he is barely attempting to conceal.  his expression should be infuriating.  and it is.  but, it is... charming, too.  and welcomed.

you have never felt more embarrassed or more pleased in your life.

shit.

“before the three of you retreat to eloise’s bedchamber,” declares an authoritative voice, breaking your reverie.  you turn away from ocean eyes and see the lady of the room approaching you.  much to your surprise, she smiles.  to an even greater surprise, her smile seems sincere.  “i must insist that i introduce myself and the rest of the family to our guest.  

“i am viscountess kathani sharma bridgerton, the lady of this house,” she curtsies with perfect elegance.  “it is a delight to welcome you to our home, miss y/l/n.”

“thank you for having me— lady bridgerton.  and you may call me ‘y/n.’  you need not use such, uh, formalities with me.”

“very well; then you may call me ‘kate.’”

you furrow your eyebrows.  she had introduced herself as ‘kathani’ but now asks you to call her ‘kate.’  it makes you think of mama and papa; they shared with you once how they had chosen to go by different names upon emigrating to england.  when you had asked why, they simply replied that it would be easier for others in this country to address them.  

“may i call you ‘kathani’ instead?”

surprise flashes over the dignified demeanor of the viscountess.  she regards you with softness in her eyes.

“yes.  yes, you may.”

resuming her full composure, kathani guides you to the eldest of the gentlemen and introduces him as her husband, viscount anthony bridgerton, the lord of the house.  he offers you a small smile with a bow of his head and greets you ‘good day.’  you try not to wince at his decorous use of ‘miss’ with your first name, but you suppose it is merely in these people’s natures.  

kathani continues and leads you to the lady of older age, introducing her as dowager viscountess violet bridgerton.  she dips into a lovely curtsy and, on her rise, gazes upon you with a gentle smile.  you feel compelled to respond in kind, but it would certainly not be as graceful as hers, and worse, she may interpret your slovenly attempt as a lark.  so, you refrain.  

the viscountess next introduces you to mister colin bridgerton (you summon all your self-restraint to keep your countenance neutral—this is the boy who hurt penelope); then to mister gregory bridgerton (he bows so ceremoniously towards you, you cannot help but be endeared by his resolve); and lastly to miss hyacinth bridgerton.

“why are you dressed like that?” she inquires.

“hyacinth!” the dowager viscountess reprimands.  she must be her mother.  she sounds like a mother.  it reminds you of how your mama reprimanded you and your siblings as little ones; the memory and the exchange make you hold back a laugh.

“what!  what did i say wrong?”

you ought to feel self-conscious, your lower standing brought into further display to everyone in the room, but you detect neither malice nor judgment in the young girl’s voice.  just genuine curiosity.  so, you smile.

“my family and i have different means to clothes, amongst other things.  i wear these when i work or go about my day.  though,” you regard your attire and then— hyacinth?, feeling the glimmer in your eye, “it makes for running around and playing make-believe quite easy.”

“make-believe!  gregory, do you hear that!  miss!— miss—“ she turns to you with a cocked head.  

“y/n.”

her eyes shine once again.

“miss y/n plays make-believe!  we must play!” hyacinth latches onto your hand and, with remarkable strength for a child who cannot be older than two and ten, pulls and drags you towards the entrance of the room.  “come along, gregory!  wouldn’t want to be the last one there!”

“no fair!  you cheated!” the second youngest shouts back, dropping all previous ceremonies, and scrambles towards the entrance.

“hyacinth!  y/n is not your playmate!  she is here with me and penelope!”

“plans do change, dear sister,” hyacinth retorts.  eloise’s jaw drops, and the rest of the family bursts into laughter.  the entire exchange warms your heart.  in so many ways, they are so proper, so wealthy, and yet they are not all so different from your own family.  they seem to really care for one another.

“when did you get so smug!” eloise shoots back.

“small wonder where she could’ve learned that from,” you hear colin, the traitor, murmur.  turning your head, you see him give amused, pointed looks to eloise and kathani.  the latter grins wickedly, and her husband beams at her with pride. 

“there are only so many hours in a day!” hyacinth complains.  you face her once more, still holding her hand.

“what about this?  i will play with you and your brother for an hour, and then i will be with your sister and penelope for my remaining time here.  i want to honor the wishes of each of my new friends.”

hyacinth considers this with much theatricality to her expression.  she then grins.

“that is an excellent plan,” she remarks, looking to eloise for her thoughts.  you follow her line of sight.  eloise rolls her eyes and sighs, but a smile rests on her lips.

“very well, then.”

feeling peace restored, you smile in return and, in doing so, in your periphery, catch the ocean eyes of the second eldest brother.  benedict.  he is looking at you.  why is that?  you feel your cheeks flush and the tips of your ears heat.  his gaze is somehow gentle and intense and indecipherable all at once, and the flutterings in the pit of your stomach grow, and intensify, and start to overwhelm you—

when you are tugged back to reality with a tug forward.

–

< hyacinth leads y/n through the house to the gardens with gregory by her side.  y/n is both uneasy and in awe of the things she sees.  eventually, they arrive in the gardens.  y/n notices two swings hanging off of a large branch of an old tree and is utterly endeared by the sight; it confirms what she has been thinking:  though the bridgertons are wealthy, they are warm and welcoming.

< just as hyacinth declares that she has found a suitable spot for make-believe, two male voices ask if they may join.  hyacinth, gregory, and y/n turn and see benedict and colin approaching.  colin shares that though y/n seems lovely, it would be unwise of the family to leave the two youngest with a stranger; though y/n agrees with his family’s caution, she refrains from wanting to strangle the person who hurt her friend.

< gregory whines and asks if they can begin before eloise complains.  hyacinth agrees and says that they need to assign characters.  y/n suggests that hyacinth should be a sorceress and gregory should be a knight; these proposals delight the youngest bridgertons.  y/n volunteers herself as the villain and decides to be a banshee; she turns to the elder bridgertons and asks what they wish to be. 

< before they have a chance to respond, hyacinth proposes that benedict should be the princess who has been captured.  benedict indignantly asks why, and hyacinth simply states because he is the most sensitive of the family.  sensing how the sibling argument is about to evolve, y/n intervenes and suggests that, like a sensitive princess, perhaps benedict is merely in tuned with his emotions, even amidst adversity; it is, in its own way, a compliment.  benedict’s eyes become indecipherable upon the comment, but he wears a small sincere smile.  gregory then proposes that colin is y/n’s changeling henchman. 

< make-believe ensues, and it is very sweet and very silly.  eventually, gregory is called in for latin tutoring and thanks y/n for the fun with a deep bow; hyacinth is called in for pianoforte lessons. >

hyacinth launches herself at you with a hug.  pulling back from the embrace, she beams.

“we must continue when you return next!”

before you can even start to reply, she turns and skips off towards the house.  you hear how gregory makes a comment about coming in first, and suddenly the youngest bridgertons are in a race against one another, shouting taunts and insults.  you can’t help but smile.

“they seem to quite like you.”

your smile falls.  you turn and face towards the two elder bridgertons, the traitor being the one to have spoken.

“colin bridgerton,” you begin, “yes?”

he smiles and nods.  you surge forward and shove your finger into his face, his smile now wiped.

“if you ever hurt penelope again, i shall make certain that it is the last time you ever do.  do i make myself clear?”

when he does not respond, you repeat yourself, and he slowly then quickly nods.  satisfied, you turn towards ocean eyes and point your finger at him.

“and you look after him.” 

“what did i do?”   

“be a proper elder brother and serve as an example for your misguided sibling.  understood?”  

“i— yes.  of course.  understood.” 

you smile again.

“wonderful.  i am glad we three are in agreement.  it was good speaking with you, gentlemen.  good day.” 

you turn away and start to walk towards the house.

“i quite like her too,”  and you hear the restored smile in the third bridgerton’s voice.  “what about you, brother?”

you hasten your steps towards the house.  though mere moments before you had felt emboldened and brave, you fear hearing benedict’s response.  you do not why.

–

< eloise, penelope, and y/n extensively discuss literature and writing; upon talking about women writers, y/n shares how she does not fully see herself as just a woman. >

“so, what are you?”

you wince.  you have kept good on your promise and joined eloise and penelope in the former’s bedchamber, but you are swiftly wishing you had been able to stay with hyacinth, gregory, colin even, and benedict.  you had attempted to explain an aspect of yourself to eloise but not to very much fruit, it seems.  you want to hide and escape and run from this place—

“eloise.”

—when penelope comes to your defense.  

“what?  what is it?”

“perhaps you could have phrased your question with more tact and thoughtfulness.”

eloise looks between the two of you, concern flooding her eyes.

“did i— did i not?”

penelope turns to you.

“are you comfortable to answer?”

“i would prefer that i didn’t.”

you hope that your eyes are sufficient enough to convey the immensity of gratitude that you feel towards penelope in this very moment.

“y/n,” begins eloise, “i did not realize—”

“and what are you three gossiping about?”

you jump, penelope squeaks, and eloise growls a noise of exasperation.  turning towards the voice in the doorway, you are visited, once again, by the third and second bridgerton siblings.

“and what makes you think we are gossiping?” demands eloise, “because we are w— people?”

you feel the corners of your mouth tug upward.  at least she is trying.  wanting to keep the attention on benedict and colin rather than yourself, however, and with genuine curiosity, you cock your head at the two gentlemen.

“do you two always come in a pair?”

“not always,” replies benedict.  and he smiles at you, “today is merely a special occasion.”

stupid butterflies.

“speaking of such,” colin proceeds.  “kate has requested that the three of you join the family in the drawing room.”

< the five of them make their way to the drawing room.  kate shares that, on behalf of the family, she would like to invite both y/n and penelope to dinner.  though at first honored to have been invited, upon hearing “dinner,” y/n realizes how late it has become and looks out the window:  the sun is halfway set.  she apologizes and says that she cannot stay because she resumes work the next day.  her latter statement renders some of the people in the room confused, but kathani states how she understands and that y/n is welcomed to join dinner whenever she visits.  

< seeing how confused y/n is, anthony shares that y/n is welcomed to visit their home whenever she is able and whenever she would like, and the rest of the family pipes in with how delighted they would be if she does.  not knowing how she deserved such kindness from people who were mere strangers at the start of the day, y/n thanks the bridgertons and says that she would love to.  penelope chooses to stay for dinner and says that she will see y/n next week.  y/n affirms that she, and the bridgertons, will.

< kathani and benedict offer to escort y/n to the entrance.  y/n walks down the steps and passes the gate but, before she goes, takes one last look at number five until next week and sees benedict still in the doorway.  y/n notices, but reprimands herself for perhaps imagining it, that his smile grows when his eyes lock with hers.  with flutterings in her stomach, y/n offers a wave.  he gives a small wave back.  she turns and goes, smiling all the way home. >

𝄆 ⚘ ✸ I.ii ✸ ⚘ 𝄇

“benedict has been making more appearances as of late,” penelope remarks.

the three of you all look up—you and pen from your writing, eloise from her reading—to see benedict entering through the doors and heading towards the other side of the drawing room.  he looks over at you— at you all and offers a smile before he plops himself down onto a chaise and begins to draw.

“yes, it is strange,” eloise considers to the two of you.  “for so long he had been moping about, locked away in his bedchamber aside from mealtime or the occasional visit to the drawing room.  he’s even picked up his charcoal again.”

“again?” you inquire, averting your gaze from the artist to your friend.  “had he stopped prior?”

“he had entirely put it down after—” eloise sighs.  whatever memory she has recounted, it does not seem to be a pleasant one.  you look to penelope; you sense that she shares a similar sentiment by the sad look in her eyes.  you are curious but you choose not to press.  

“it has been quite some time since he’s last drawn.  but now, whenever i see him, whether in his bedchamber or the billiards room or some other room in the house, he’s drawing.  he frequently arrives to mealtime with charcoal stained fingers—much to the chagrin of mama and anthony.”

you all laugh.  benedict looks up at you three, and from here you can tell he wears a curious expression, no doubt wondering what you are laughing about.  when he exaggeratedly arches an eyebrow, eloise just makes a face at him.  benedict rolls his eyes, smiling, and for the briefest moment, you feel as though he is looking at you.  but you’ve always had an active imagination.  when you blink, he has returned to his drawing, a smile still on his lips.

“i wonder what has changed?” eloise softly says, still looking at benedict.  for all her fire and spirit, you see how deeply she cares for her second eldest brother.

“perhaps he has found a muse,” penelope poses rather than queries.  you shift your gaze from eloise to penelope, and you’re curious about her expression.  she seems... delighted?  benedict finding his passion for art again does sound delightful; you know firsthand how difficult it is to pick yourself up from a slump.  but that’s not what she seems delighted by.  she just looks at you.  with a soft smile.  why?  what does benedict have anything to do with you?

you feel your cheeks and the tips of your ears flood with warmth.  you don’t know why, but penelope’s expression unnerves you, in a pleasant sensational way.

you clear your throat.

“i am happy for him,” you say, returning to your quill and folded quarto, haphazardly writing down whatever words come to your mind.  

ocean.  charcoal.  smile.  flutters.

shit.

it is not until what feels like an uncharacteristically long moment later that you hear penelope resume her writing and eloise resume her reading.  you try not to imagine what they could have silently exchanged with your gaze averted.

𝄆 ⚘ ✸ I.iii ✸ ⚘ 𝄇

you suck in a sharp breath and shoot out of your seat.

“you do not!” you shriek, hastening towards kathani, eloise, and the stack of books they have just settled onto the table.  you had arrived early to the bridgertons’ home, at the invitation of kathani, so early that the rest of the family seems not yet to be awake.  

(which is strange, you find, as it is nearing 8 o’clock.  most mornings, at this time, you are already well into the bustle of work.)  

kathani had prefaced, rather enigmatically, that she and eloise had a surprise they wished to share with you.  you had your suspicions as to what it could be related to, and with each passing moment, you are suspecting, very excitingly!, that you are very correct. 

“indeed, we do,” kathani grins and gestures to the stacks.  

taking no hesitation to the offer, you grab from the top of a stack and open to the title page.

the dramatic works of william shakespeare.  vol. 2:  a midsummer night’s dream / the merry wives of windsor / much ado about nothing.

you shriek again, this time accompanied with hops of excitement, flipping to the final third of the book.

“much ado!  this is the one i’ve read!” 

dorothea, a fruit seller, had offered a copy of it to you (at a lowered price, she had emphasized) when she had learned of your liking to stories.  she grandly stated that she had started to write down the dialogue during low-attendance performances at the theater and then brought her handiwork to be typed and printed at a not-to-be-named press.  but if the pages’ handwritten annotations alluded to anything, you suspected that she had managed to purloin a performer’s copy of the script.  you felt a bit of pity for the poor performer who misplaced it, but you respected, and still respect!, dorothea’s moonlighting. 

you shoot your head up from the book and are greeted by the grins of your two friends.  “which one has romeo and juliet?”

this past autumn you had overheard several candlemakers at the markets animatedly discussing the ‘incandescent’ portrayal of the titular character by an actress from ireland.  a performance, described as ‘incandescent’ by candlemakers!  embodied by a storyteller who has emigrated here!  hearing all those wondrous things made you insatiably curious to one day read the text that made such wondrous things happen.

“i believe,” eloise says, pulling the second from the bottom of a stack, “it is this one.”

you twitch your fingers; you have to refrain yourself from snatching the book from your friend’s hand.  when it is in yours, you open to the title page and feel your eyes, along with your smile, widen.

“it is, it is!  oh, this is extraordinary!”  you flip furiously to your desired page and, once you find it, start to read,  

prologue.  two households—

—when you hear kathani say, “we had thought of starting with that one.”

that makes you rip your eyes away from the words and look up at the two ladies.

“‘starting with’?”

“when eloise, penelope, and i learned of your eagerness to read shakespeare,” elaborates kathani.  her saying that makes you flush; you had not realized with what apparent enthusiasm you had spoken of the poet.  “the three of us had discussed that the four of us could read his plays together.  if you would like, of course.”

your jaw drops.  you cannot help the squeal that emits from your mouth.  hopping once again in your excitement, you throw yourself at your friends and wrap your arms around them both.

“if i would like!  i would be delighted!”

you pull back from your hug with the two ladies and are greeted by gleaming eyes and wide grins.  you feel how your expression matches theirs.  it has only been a little over a month of your friendship with eloise and kathani, and the rest of the bridgertons at number five, but they each have somehow found a way to carve themselves out in your heart.  and if this most recent kindness by eloise and kathani indicates anything, perhaps you have found a way to carve yourself out in each of theirs.

(and you promptly ignore the thought of what that could possibly mean for ocean eyes and charcoal-stained hands, flutterings within you be damned.)

“how shall we allocate the book?” you say aloud out of genuine inquiry and a deep desire to revert your heart, mind elsewhere.  “shall we read passages aloud and then pass it on to the next reader?”

< eloise makes a remark that indicates her confusion at y/n’s question.  kathani, who is more privy to the situation, shares how she has her own copy as do eloise and penelope.  the stack that they’ve brought is an extra set that the bridgerton house has that y/n can use.  this perplexes y/n.  she cannot understand how a household can have multiple copies of a book, let alone copies of a whole anthology of many books.  before y/n can doom-spiral into thinking, penelope arrives at the entrance of the drawing room.  reading of romeo and juliet commences.  

< just as y/n finishes reading the scene in which romeo and juliet meet for the first time at the capulet ball and then kiss, y/n notices in her periphery benedict approaching the four.  kathani remarks how unusually early he is to be awake and ready for the day; y/n notes to herself how there seems to be some sort of mischief in the viscountess’s smile. >

𝄆 ⚘ ✸ I.iv ✸ ⚘ 𝄇

“i shall be y/n’s teacher,” the viscount declares.

“you were adamant on her not fencing, and now you are insistent on being her teacher?”

“it would be hardly appropriate, colin, for two young unmarried men to be in such close proximity to a young unmarried lady, as proximity of teacher and student in fencing would require.”

“are you always this— antiquated?”  you inquire.

that earns a snort from kathani.  anthony, looking betrayed, turns to his wife; she merely shrugs in reply, mirth shining in her eyes.  he turns back to you, eyebrows deeply furrowed and mouth fully frowning.

“and what do you insinuate by that!”

“are you so distrustful of your own brothers, the ones for whom you have served, and still serve, as a model, that you think they would take advantage of me in such a situation—”

you sense how the eldest bridgerton is about to retaliate and arch a severe eyebrow at him in response; you refuse to be interrupted.

“or are you so unbelieving in persons of feminine dispositions that you think i shall be compromised by the mere closeness of a body different from my own sex?”

there is a silence, and though you cannot see them as you stare down the viscount, you can feel how the others exchange delighted glances with one another and hold back their laughter.

“you have two choices, my lord,” you offer.

“neither of them are suitable!  and do not call me ‘my lord’!”

“is that not the proper way to address you?”

“it is, but you—!” he huffs out air through his nostrils, like an indignant dragon in a fairytale; it is a very silly, very amusing sight.  “we have not even begun the lesson and you are already the most exasperating student i’ve ever had!”

you turn to colin and benedict, grinning.

“you two must have been saints then.”

“would you expect any less?” colin grins back.

your wide smile remains intact until your eyes fall on the expression of benedict.  you are entirely uncertain of what emotion he could be possibly feeling until he seems to realize where he is, and how you are looking at him, and breaks out into a brilliant smile with matching brilliant ocean eyes.  you quickly snap your head away from him, ignoring the fluttering of butterflies summoned within you upon the shift in benedict’s expression, and turn to anthony.

“shall we begin, then?”

–

it turns out that you are quite the quick learner when it comes to fencing.  after putting on a fencing vest that had previously belonged to benedict—

“because you are the shortest of the three of us, brother,” remarked colin after the second son inquired why it had to be his former vest that you were to wear.  benedict scrunched his nose and eyebrows in displeasure.  (perhaps you should have taken offense to his opposition, but it was truly of no personal consequence to you and the reaction it created in him was truly adorable.)

“i am not!”

“you are, indeed,” anthony deadpanned.

“prove it!”

and the three eldest sons of the esteemed bridgerton family stood next to one another, comparing their heights.  you turned to kathani, eloise, and penelope.

“are they always like this?”

“idiotic?” eloise deadpanned, sounding remarkably like her eldest brother.

“indeed, they are,” grinned kathani.

—over your blouse, you are immediately put to lessons.  anthony explains the basic concepts of fencing and then demonstrates elementary strikes and parries, occasionally adjusting your stances to the proper forms.  noting how quickly you took to the lessons, he calls for a match between the two of you to observe how you would apply your skills in combat.

“you are retaining information exceptionally well, as well as executing the techniques rather impressively,” states your teacher as you deflect his strike.  you try to hide your gladness in his praise as you smirk and push his blade away with the terzo of yours.

“ah, so my sex is not a detriment to my abilities; that is good to know.”

you hear snickers and snorts from around you.

“i said nothing of the sort!”

“did you think it?”

your opponent frowns further, slightly turning his head away from you to steal a glance at his wife.  he turns back to you.

“i did,” he admits defeatedly.

“it takes a true man of honor to rise up to his folly,” you remark honestly, as you strike anthony’s arm with the tip of your sabre.  loud cheers burst from the onlookers and an aghast but proud look emerges on the countenance of your teacher; you grin, “and a fool to leave his defenses so easily open.”

impressed by your display of sport, and seemingly overcoming his antiquation, at least for the moment, anthony decides that you will match against colin and then benedict.

“how are you to improve if you are to face the same opponent?” claims your teacher with his usual air of annoyance, but you detect his pride in your accomplishment.

it is also decided that the matches will end when one scores a point.

and so, you face colin.  it is easy to keep pace with him, not due to lack of skill on his part but complete and utter determination on yours.  you tried to convince yourself, in the beginning of your match, that the remnants of your anger towards the third bridgerton brother, and how he treated your friend, did not fuel your determination to score the point— but it did and does.  and successfully so, as you strike colin in his left shoulder.  perhaps you do it with too much force as the strike reels him off balance (and perhaps you are delighted that it has done so), but he quickly resumes composure and flashes you a grin.

“i see more and more everyday why you and pen are friends.”

that softens your heart.  you should be dubious of his charming remark, but you aren’t; it is too sincere, as is he, and you begin to see, even if minutely, why penelope cares for him.

“she has good taste in the company she keeps, i’m learning.”

that makes him laugh, as it does the others, and you look over and see how pen’s countenance shines with joy.  that is enough to put your anger towards colin at ease, and turning towards your defeated foe once more, you return his smile and bow your head.  bowing his head in kind, colin leaves, and in his place arrives your next and final opponent; he is smiling like a boy.  

“best for last?” he remarks as he prepares his starting position.  you roll your eyes, ignoring the warmth that starts to fill the center of your chest.

“this shall determine that,” and settled in your starting position, you and benedict begin your duel.

you have observed something of the eldest bridgerton brothers in your matches against them.  anthony struck like fire, bombastic and ferocious.  colin stood his ground like earth, his guards resolute.  and benedict— 

benedict moves like water.  free.  fluid.

as if he is dancing while dueling.

both you and he have reached a stalemate.  you have managed to parry every one of his strikes, and he has managed to deflect every one of yours.  you can feel how those watching are holding their breaths, waiting for someone to land the point.  

you try not to startle when you hear benedict’s voice as you guard against his strike.

“it takes quite an astonishing person to earn the praise of anthony bridgerton.”

“are you so surprised that i am such a person?”

“quite the opposite, y/n,” he catches one of your strikes and grins at you.  “i think you are entirely perfect in that regard.”

you roll your eyes once again but cannot help the blush that you feel spread across your cheeks as you push back his sabre with yours.  

“do you honestly think charm will win you the point?”

“do you find me charming?” you ignore the heat that creeps up your neck and the voice in your head that has already answered his question far too quickly for your liking.  “no, i do not think so lowly of such a formidable foe.”

and he winks at you.

and somehow, without you realizing how you got there, benedict strikes the center of your chest.

“but a little distraction does help.”

his point earns a round of groans and bleats from the crowd.  instead of looking offended, benedict just laughs and approaches you, gloved hand outstretched, a boyish smile once again on his face.  despite your loss, you cannot help but smile too.  you place your gloved hand in his. 

“it was a pleasure to duel with you.”

“yes.  likewise.”

perhaps you imagine it, but you feel his thumb swipe against the side of your hand.  it is featherlight, hardly felt with both your and his hands gloved, but felt nevertheless.  before you can process the sensation any further, he lets go of your hand.  with another smile, he bows his head at you as the crowd of people approach you both, penelope raving about your matches, eloise expressing her wish to fence now, anthony already commenting on what you could do better in your next match.

and without you realizing it, you gently swipe against the side of your gloved hand.

𝄆 ⚘ ✸ I.v ✸ ⚘ 𝄇

"mama?  papa?"

it is a rare occasion when you, mama, papa, and your sibling eat together, and an even rarer occasion to do so for a second meal, but this night was such a night.  the three of them halt their conversation and look over to you.

"how did you know you were in love with one another?"

there is a small silence, but then, without looking at one another, they smile in tandem.

"it was at first sight, really, for me,” your papa says as he offers his hand to mama.  “as trite as that sounds."

mama takes his hand into hers.

"i as well."

"when i looked into your mama’s eyes, i knew that something was different.  that my life had changed."

"for the better, dearest?"

papa laughs heartily.

"no, actually.  it has been misery ever since."

you and your family laugh as mama playfully slaps at papa’s hand.  it warms your soul every time they do this, when they tease one another and are light because of the other.   it makes you believe in love each time.  

mama and papa lace their fingers together again, smiling, still gazing at one another.  as if it is just the two of them in their own world.  mama, turning her smile from papa to you, speaks again.

"the flutterings in my stomach wouldn’t quiet, and they only intensified as we approached closer to one another that day and grew closer to one another with time."

she looks nostalgic until something mischievous quickly overcedes her countenance.

"why do you ask, my dear?  has someone captured your eye?"

"or, better yet, your heart?" papa tags along.

ocean eyes and charcoal-stained hands flash by in your mind.

"no!" you say too hastily.  "no, of course not.  it’s— for one of my writings, is all."

you repeatedly poke at your bit of boiled chicken to avoid any further inquisition from your parents’ gazes.

–

sat by your window, you stare up at the night sky when the voice of your sibling infiltrates your dreaming.

“it’s one of the brothers, isn’t it?”

you whip your head over to them.  they don’t even look at you; they are preparing for bed.

“pardon me?” 

“is it the artist brother?”

“what!”

fluffing their pillow, they smile.

“so i am correct.”

“i didn’t even say anything!”

“that is not true.  you said ‘what.’”

“that reveals nothing!”

pleased with the setting of their bed, they ruin their work by plopping their bottom onto it as they finally face you in what you realize now is a confrontation.

“of course it doesn’t, the word on its own.  your reaction, however?  could not be more transparent of your feelings.”

“i have no feelings!”

“is that why you asked mama and papa about being in love?  because you have no feelings and you need to be told what they are?”

“i!—— i am going to bed!” you lift yourself up from your seat at the window sill, turning away from the peace of the night sky, and crash onto your bed.  you lay on your side, faced towards the wall, refusing to make eye contact with your sibling.  you lift up your sheet with too much force and lay it over your body and head.  “good!  night!”

after some silence, you hear the creak of your sibling’s bed and, a moment later, feel a featherlight touch on your upper arm.  you give it a thought, and perhaps against your better judgment, you lift off your sheet, turn, and are greeted by the gentlest of expressions from your sibling.

“i think it is wonderful, y/n.  whoever it is, they are very blessed to have your affections.”

your heart swells.  you love your sibling.

“how did you know it was the artist brother?”  

“so i am correct!”  they smile with a shrug.  “i deduced based on how much you’ve been writing about paint and charcoal as of late.”

you almost shoot upright from your bed.

“you’ve been reading my writing?”

“well, if they weren’t to be read, why do you leave them spread out on the table?”

“because there is no other place to store them!”

“and how good that is, or else i wouldn’t be able to read your fantastical stories or have been able to discover who your beloved is.”

“you are impossible!”

they kneel next to your bed and place their head on your shoulder.

“i love you too.”

you exhale the last of your frustrations, adjusting yourself a bit so that your sibling can rest their head more comfortably.  without realizing, you stroke their hair, just as you always have.

“i quite like the story about the mushroom family,” they state after some time. “i’m happy that the middle mushroom child befriends the peony and then the hyacinths.  i am happy they are happy.”

you feel your eyes start to drift.

“his name is benedict, by the way.”

you hear your sibling’s need for sleep in their reply.

“that’s a lovely name.”

“he is,” you murmur as the peace of the night falls over you.

𝄆 ⚘ ✸ I.vi ✸ ⚘ 𝄇

“good day!— robert?”

“good day, y/n!” and robert holds the door of bridgerton house open for you to pass.

“pardon the confusion in my greetings—”

“no offense taken on my part!” the late adolescence beams.  you grin back.  with how utterly enthusiastic robert is all the time, one would think it is part of some ruse.  but it is not; he is just that genuinely delighted by life, you’ve observed.

“i am grateful.  i had expected to be greeted by giles, is all.”

robert frowns.  you feel the corners of your mouth tug downward in response, concern starting to swell your heart.

“he is ill at the moment.”

“ill!  with what?”

“i know not.  i had admitted the doctor perhaps not even a quarter of an hour ago.  but worry not too much, y/n!  from what the viscountess has shared with the servants earlier this day, giles shall make a quick recovery.  and lady bridgerton has yet to be wrong in anything!”

relief floods your body.  giles is of elderly age, so it calms you to hear that his ailment seems not to be too severe.  and you can’t help but smile not only by robert’s sunny temperament but also by his rightful faith in kathani.

“that is all good to hear.”

“shall i announce you to the drawing room?”

“oh god no.  i am quite all right, but thank you.”

“understood!  then i must pardon myself; i must retrieve miss bridgerton and miss featherington.”

“‘retrieve’?  are they not in the drawing room?”

“i was informed by dowager lady bridgerton, who was accompanied by miss bridgerton and miss featherington themselves at the time, that they would be in the gardens until your arrival and to retrieve the young misses upon your arrival.”

“i see.  well, i shall be in the drawing room then.  thank you again, robert.”

“it is my pleasure, y/n!” he beams once more and takes off to complete his task.

how odd, you think to yourself.  this day seems rather unusual to the ones you’ve had thus far at bridgerton home.  and it is hardly even noon!  you become lost in your thoughts as you approach the entrance to the drawing room—

when you are greeted by benedict, and benedict alone, lounging with his legs thrown over the arm of a chair, staring sternly at the page he draws on.

“oh,” is all you say.

benedict snaps his focus from his book to you, his countenance transforming from deep concentration to frustration to genuine surprise in a mere moment.  he scrambles up from his seat, book in one hand and charcoal in the other, posture now proper, and he bows his head.  

“miss y/l/n.”

never before have you been alone in a room with a man.  a gentleman.  a gentleman with a handsome face, charcoal-stained hands, and beautiful ocean eyes.

you roll your eyes.

“blimey, it is just me.  there is no need to bow.  and why are you calling me miss y/l/n?”

benedict smiles.

“all right.  y/n.”

shit.

perhaps that was a mistake.

“where has your family gone?” you inquire as you go to sit in the chair parallel to his, ignoring the flutterings within your stomach.  “it is uncommon to enter the drawing room of bridgerton house and not be greeted by talking, or music playing, or fighting.”

smiling, benedict falls back into his seat and resumes his drawing.

“hyacinth is with her reading tutor; gregory is with his fencing instructor; colin is eating some sort of pastry, i am certain, in town; anthony and kate are likely— preoccupied—”

you snort; benedict’s smile grows broader as he smudges charcoal with his thumb, a small furrow in his eyebrows now forming.

“and mother has managed to rope eloise into learning about the flowers of the gardens, and eloise, being eloise, has roped penelope into doing the same.”

“and what of you?”

“and what of me?”

“why have you chosen the drawing room as your whereabouts?”

benedict cocks his head towards his drawing.

“it’s in the name of the room, is it not?”

“ah, a man of wit, i see.”

“i am a man of many attributes, y/n.”

ignore the butterflies.

“such as?”

“what attributes would win your favor?”

“so that you may lie to me and say you possess them?”

“of course not; the list is merely too long and i shan’t bore you with a soliloquy.”

“so, a man of thoughtfulness.”

“oh yes, a myriad of thoughts.”  

“name one.”

“how much i am enjoying our conversation.”

and benedict shifts his ocean eyes from his drawing to you, a smile on his lips.  he is being playful, but you detect no deceit in his expression.  it infuriates you, really.  how charming he is.  how endearing.  how sincere.  

you return his smile.

“as am i, benedict.”

you sit in comfortable silence a moment more until benedict breaks the gaze, returning his oceans eyes and smile back to his drawing.  his smile, however, does not last for very long.

“this sketch, on the contrary—”

and he rips out the paper from his book, crumples it in his hand, and throws it onto the carpet of the floor, giving his deed not another moment’s notice.  he puts his charcoal to a new page in the moment next.

your smile falls.

“do you know how much paper costs?” you demand.

benedict looks back up at you with scrunched eyebrows and a smile having returned to his lips.  he tilts his head.

“why?  should i?”  he inquires.  nonchalantly.  delight in his ocean eyes.

as if you are making a jest.

as if this is amusing.  as if this is nothing.

it reminds you of a recent memory.

eloise had generously given you sheets of paper.  hitting a stride in your writing and wanting to continue, you had asked, after much internal deliberation, if you could have a ripped half of a quarto upon running out of all negative space on your current one.

“have a foolscap.  have a whole lot of them, actually,” she said easily, taking a good chunk of her stack and handing it off to you.

“eloise, are you certain?”

“of course.  it is just paper, after all.”

“right.  yes— of course.  thank you.”

eloise hummed affirmatively in response, returning to her passage, as you stared at the small stack of foolscap in your hand.  that amount of paper would have been eight months’ wage, perhaps even more.  

a gentle touch of a hand on yours brought you out of your clouding thoughts.  you looked over and saw penelope looking at you softly.  understanding her unspoken thoughts, you held her hand and gave it a squeeze.

thank you, you mouthed.

"i must be going,” you say aloud.  “goodbye, mr. bridgerton.”

you stand, turn, and quickly exit the drawing room. 

“y/n.  y/n!”

you hear him scuffling up from his lounge and start to follow you.  you hasten your steps towards the entrance.  

moments before you can open the doors of bridgerton house to the respite of the outside world, you feel benedict take hold of your wrist, stopping you in your steps, and it infuriates you how gently he does it.  how you can pull away from his touch if you want to, how you can just go if you choose to.  but you do not.

it infuriates you how much you want him to hold you.

you turn to face him.

“please— wait,” he breathes.  “what did i do wrong?  what have i done to upset you?”

you look at him incredulously.  then it dawns on you.

“please.  tell me,” benedict practically begs.  with such softness in his voice.

it infuriates you.

“i know money is of no concern to you, or your family, or fair ladies and pretty gentlemen.  but it is for the rest of us.  for the rest of us who have to work to keep the ones we love fed, clothed, warmed, sheltered.  that is a fact with which i have been concerned since the very moment i could think for myself.  and for you—of the male sex, of pale skin, of inherited riches—it is something to discard onto the carpet of one of your family’s many houses.  the paper you threw to the ground would have paid for a month’s worth of warmth for the entirety of my family’s home.  and you ask me what you have done to upset me?”

he says nothing.  he just looks at you, damned ocean eyes and all.  gentle.  attentive.  like he could care; like he does care.

you feel your nostrils flaring, your blood pounding in every vein of your body.  you finally rip your wrist away from his loose hold, already missing his touch.

“i shall take my leave.  please give my regards as well as my apologies to eloise and penelope.  goodbye, benedict.”

you turn away from him, yank the door open by its handle, and step outside, walking composedly at first, then quickly, then sprinting, then running.  to be as far away from number five of grosvenor square as you possibly can be.  to be far away from crumpled up paper, charcoal-stained hands, gentle touches, and ocean eyes.  

you rub your wrists against your eyes.

stupid bloody tears.

stupid fucking heart.

why am i so afflicted by this?  why am i crying?  why do i hurt?

because i love—

no.

you cannot fall for him.  he is someone you cannot have, cannot want, cannot— cannot…

it cannot happen, the two of you.

and most likely of all, you are not someone he wants.  not someone who he would love.  not the way you—

you are a fool for getting this far.  but these feelings, they will pass.  somehow.   you will forget them.  you will forget him.  this is not the fairytales you read, not the fairytales you write.  daydreams, hopes, love for a gentleman— there is a reason you are a writer.

you write the things you can never have, the things that will never happen.

you and benedict will never happen.

this is the prayer you tell yourself that evening before sleep takes you.  you pretend not to be affected by the tears that afflict you as you do so.

𝄆 ⚘ ✸ I.vii ✸ ⚘ 𝄇

< y/n does not go to number five the next week on her non-work day as she had grown accustomed to.  she had tried to write at her table in her home to preoccupy herself, but her teardrops were ruining what she had already written.  she considers going to work to distract herself, but y/n knows her unexpected presence would be a detriment to her fellow workers’ established flow of day.  she decides to go to the markets to try and get fresh air and a change of scenery and to do anything to interrupt her spiral of thoughts and emotions.

< while at the markets, y/n hears her name called and turns to see penelope in her blue cloak.  y/n asks what penelope is doing here, and penelope gently replies that she can ask y/n the same thing.  she shares with y/n how, the week prior, after she received news that y/n had left bridgerton house, she left to find y/n in the markets and at her workplace but to no avail.  

< their conversation continues.  penelope shares how y/n was missed last week; by her, by the family, by benedict.  y/n tries to dismiss her words and how the past few months have been a mistake and that she shouldn’t be there with pen or the bridgertons, that she’s not meant to be in their world.

< with patience and empathy and grace, penelope gently encourages y/n to return to bridgerton house next week, and y/n, though her heart aching and reluctant, agrees because she misses them. >

𝄆 ⚘ ✸ I.viii ✸ ⚘ 𝄇

you sigh deeply.

have courage, y/n.

and you rap your knuckles twice against the stately door of number five.  a moment later, the door opens, and you are greeted by a beloved grin.

“miss y/n!  i have not seen you in weeks!”

you cannot help but smile back.

“good day, giles.”

“oh, where are my manners!” and the elderly doorman bows at you.  you huff out a laugh, feeling how your face contorts with distaste. 

“blimey, please don’t.  i am not a lady, giles.”

“you could’ve fooled me, miss y/n.”

you shoot him a severe look; he merely continues to grin.

“you know of my feelings towards being called ‘miss.’”

“i am getting older; my memory frequently fails me, miss y/n.”

“and yet you’ve recalled how we haven’t seen each other in two weeks.”

“three.”

you grin.

“precisely.”

“well, it was quite the surprise when I fell ill the following week!” then giles frowns.  “and it was an even greater surprise to have not seen you when i had returned the week following that.”

you look at the ground, unable to face the inquisition in his sad, kindly look, but when you bring your head back up, you manage a smile.

“it is no matter.  i am here now.  that is most important, yes?”

the elderly man smiles.

“yes, i suppose you are right, y/n,” and he holds the door open for you to pass.  

“aside from bouts with ailment, how have you been, giles?”

“still standing upright, still opening and closing doors,” he beams without a bit of sarcasm.  “and what of you?  how have you been?”

“i’ve been—— well.  and the family?” you say quickly, wanting to move the conversation away from you and your feelings.

“the same as is to be expected.  though—” 

concern starts to swell in your heart.  what has happened in the fortnight you have not been present?

“mister benedict has been absolutely despondent.”

“oh,” is all you say.  giles’ gentle joviality transforms into solemnity, and it makes your heart ache even further.

“on the rare occasions i do see him now, he is leaving for the gentleman’s club in the bright light of day and coming home at an ungodly hour, drunk as a wheelbarrow, wreaking of what smells like every available spirit in london.  he had stopped dipping rather deep sometime ago, much to my relief, so it was an utter shock to return to my station and to see him back on the cut, and deeply at that,” the elderly man sighs.  “i wonder what has happened for him to be so…” he unexpectedly turns to you, his countenance sanguine, “do you happen to know?”

you swallow as you ignore the sensation pooling in the pit of your stomach.

“no, i— i do not.”

“i see.  well, whatever it might be, it is clear how much it deeply afflicts him,” and giles offers you a small, sad smile.  “you know mister benedict; he has always been the most sensitive of the family.”

i do.  

i do know benedict.

you clear your throat.

“do you happen to know where eloise and penelope are at this moment?”

giles cocks his head at you but is kind enough (you thank the heavens) not to press your change of topic.

“the last i had seen them, they had spoken of viewing the art gallery.  do you know the way?”

“i am unfamiliar.”

he smiles again, and it makes you smile in return.

“then i am most glad to escort you there.”

–

giles opens the doors to the gallery, and ahead, in front of a portrait, you see the turnings of penelope, eloise, and—

“y/n,” he utters.

“benedict,” you breathe.

and he looks just as surprised as you are.  

you look to giles, his eyes wide and mouth agape, and then to eloise and penelope.  upon seeing their expressions, you feel your eyes narrow.

“ah, penelope!” shouts eloise.  everyone else turns to stare at her.  “with y/n’s arrival, i must change out of my, my art gallery viewing dress!  and— and, into my... drawing room!  sitting— dress...”

eloise scrunches her entire face in displeasure, confused by her own poorly concocted excuse.  that does nothing to deter her, however, from clamping onto penelope’s wrist and barreling forward towards the doors of the gallery.

“come along, pen!” she calls out to the friend she is pulling right behind her.  as they pass you, eloise gives you a strange and strained smile bearing all teeth, and penelope offers apologetic eyes and an encouraging smile.

giles looks to you, to benedict, and to the two escaping ladies.  mouth still agape, all he manages is,

“i suppose— i shall see to that— miss bridgerton and miss featherington arrive to miss bridgerton’s bedchamber... safe—ly…?”

he mouths, i’m sorry!, at you before quickly bowing his head at benedict, fleeing the scene with remarkable speed for an elderly man who has recently recovered from illness, and leaving you at the entrance of the art gallery.

closing your eyes, you deeply inhale through your nostrils as you place your hand to the space between your eye and your temple.  on your exhale, you wipe your hand hard against the side of your face and open your eyes, whipping your head to look at the second eldest bridgerton brother.  it seems that he has been staring at you this entire time, stupid (stunning) ocean eyes and all.

“would you like to paint a picture?” you snark.  “you are the artist in the room, and it would certainly last longer.  or perhaps you have run out of paper?”

he does not respond, indecipherable expression unchanging, and it unnerves you how guilty you feel at goading him, at taunting him, and he merely takes it.  you sigh again and cross the gallery to where he stands.  resisting the urge to look at him again, as you feel his gaze still on you, you instead look at the painting ahead of you.

it is a portrait of a gentleman.  with dark chestnut hair and mutton chops.  he wears a blue jacket, a darker blue vest, a cream cravat, green breeches, and brown boots.  a watch on a ribbon hangs from his vest; it looks familiar.  he looks familiar.  a benevolent smile rests on his lips.

you look at the plaque at the bottom of the gilded frame.

edmund bridgerton, the 8th viscount bridgerton.

you look back up at the painting, captured by a particular feature.

“you have his eyes.”

“his are gray; mine are blue.”

you roll your eyes but smile despite yourself.  (you try to ignore the flutterings that bloom upon hearing his voice again.)

“yes, but that’s not what i was referring to.  they peer into you— not with scrutiny, nor judgment, but with kindness, curiosity, compassion.  an eagerness to learn about you.  pools of welcoming.  cool tones that radiate warmth.”

you cough, ripping your eyes away from the portrait to inspect the scuffs of your boots.  you feel embarrassment spread throughout your entire body as heat creeps up your neck.

“the painter is excellent at their craft.  it is as if i know him, your father.”

silence falls in the expansive gallery, the calm and kind eyes of viscount bridgerton looking down upon you and his second eldest.

“i’ve missed you.”

you snap your head up to look at benedict, your eyes making contact with his ocean ones.  welcoming and warm.  honest and... hopeful?

i’ve missed you, too.

“benedict, it has only been a fortnight since we saw each other last,” you respond aloud, your voice coming out so much softer than you had intended.  you offer him a small smile, an olive branch of sorts.  something of relief starts to fill his ocean eyes, but his demeanor does not change.

“i behaved arrogantly, and you did not deserve to be the recipient of such behavior.  no one does, and i am so— i am so sorry, y/n.”

and you know he is.  you resist the urge to touch his cheek, to comfort him with your caress, to selfishly have your skin touch his.  instead, you look on at him.

“i do not ask you to grant me your forgiveness; i know i am unworthy of it.  i just— i just wanted you to know how i felt, and feel still.  and how i shall work on myself to be better, to do better.”

the butterflies in your stomach flutter maddeningly.  you emit an exhale from your nostrils.  the urge to touch him intensifies, and you feel yourself flex your hand to let go of the sensation.  you huff out another breath, and smile brightly, sincerely, at benedict.

“well,” you begin, “with our friendship renewed, care to show me what other paintings you love in this gallery?”

benedict’s ocean eyes beam with relief and joy, a brilliant smile lighting up his face, and it takes all your self-control not to drop all discretion and wrap your arms around him in a crushing embrace.

“i would love nothing more, y/n,” he declares.

you try not to flutter your eyes closed at the words ‘i,’ ‘love,’ and your name in the same breath from benedict’s lips.  at the pleasantness and home you feel in them.  you smile on.

“where shall we begin, then?”

you and benedict walk together as he approaches a miniature in a wooden frame ornately carved with floral motifs.  he admits that he has not the slightest clue which bridgerton ancestor this is, and that makes you snort.  grinning, he points out how adeptly the artist portrayed the translucency and fluidity of the lady’s veil and how particularly impressive it must have been to accomplish such effects in paints during the early 1600s, if the remnant dating of the artist’s signature is correct.  you remark how particularly impressive it is that a painting has endured two hundred years of existence, details still intact, and benedict responds simply that rich people have a way.  that makes you snort again, and that makes benedict grin again.

he then leads you to a portrait of kathani and anthony, the viscountess sat in a chair with the viscount stood behind.  you marvel at the painting—how much it looks like them, how much it captures kathani’s confidence, how much it captures anthony’s conviction, how much it captures their love.  excitement coloring his voice, benedict imparts to you how he was given the opportunity to observe and assist the painter on the days the latter was commissioned to portray the viscountess and the viscount.  he also shares with you how impossibly difficult they were as models, always giggling and kissing and looking away from the painter and talking to one another, being overall sickeningly saccharine.  you chortle and share with him how that does not surprise you in the least bit.  despite his annoyance upon recalling the memory, an incredibly fond smile rests on benedict’s lips.  turning from his lips back to the painting, you remark how in love they are, and he remarks that, indeed, they very much are—and turns his fond smile from the painting to you.

coughing, you walk over and ask about the landscape of an enormous building.  benedict names it as aubrey hall, the ancestral home of the bridgertons.  you recall how you had heard of it early on in your friendship with the bridgertons; you had been unable to see them one week as they were preparing for kathani’s first ball as viscountess at the home.  you also recall how the usually collected and confident kathani was anxious and uncertain during that time.  benedict, beaming with pride, says how, of course, she absolutely excelled and how all of the ton—he rolls his eyes then and you guffaw—enjoyed themselves at the event.  while kathani had done an unsurprisingly resplendent job, the ball was not very entertaining to benedict.  he much more enjoyed the annual bridgerton game of pall mall leading up to the event.  after announcing how kathani had won—much to the contradictory disappointment and delight of her husband—and answering your questions about what sounds, to you, like a very silly, very fun game, benedict suggests that you join them next year.  you laugh, finding it impossible to imagine yourself at a home such as aubrey hall, particularly for the entirety of three days, but your heart swells at the invitation and the sincerity in his voice, and you say aloud how you would love nothing more.

your spontaneous tour eventually comes to an end, and the two of you make your way towards the entrance, still discussing the various art you had seen.  as you and benedict walk out of the gallery, a thought crosses your mind.

“none of your work is on display.”

you notice how benedict stiffens.  you feel your smile tug into a frown.

“ah, yes.  i do not think my work is— up to snuff— with the work on display here.”

“horse shit.”

benedict’s jaw drops, his face aghast and regaled in reaction to what you assume is your choice of language.  you merely shrug.

“you have not even seen my work!”

“i do not need to see your work when i can already see how harsh you are being.”

he scoffs, and it aggravates you.

“fine— i will show you, then, and prove to you my point.”

“fine, then!  show me, and i will prove to you my point!”

–

“you are full of horse shit!”

you and benedict are in his bedchamber, where all his works are hidden away.  he has shown you canvas after canvas, sketch after sketch, charcoal drawing after charcoal drawing, his palette of color ideas— and he still has the audacity to say that his work is not “up to snuff” for the bridgerton gallery.

benedict looks aghast again, perhaps by your language, perhaps by what you are (very rightly, very correctly) insisting.  he shakes the canvas that he holds in his hand in your face.

“look at the proportions, y/n!  they are entirely off!”

you roll your eyes, swatting his arm away, and begin to rummage through his other work.  you pull a sheet and hold it up to benedict’s face.

“look at this sketch, then look at the canvas.  there is a very clear, marked improvement, and with only a—” you look at the dates at the bottom right corners for confirmation, “—a difference of two days!”

“what does ‘improvement’ mean if the improvement is not even good!”

“it is good!  and!  improvement is everything, benedict!  it is progress!”

“what—”

you and benedict jump back from one another by the sudden new voice.  you had not realized how close the two of you were as you were shouting at one another, how close your faces were to one another, how close your lips were to—

a blazing heat creeps up your neck, at the tip of your ears, and across your cheeks as you turn from benedict’s flustered face to the scowl of the eldest bridgerton sibling in the doorway.

“—are the two of you doing?”

“brother!  i— i was merely showing y/n my work.”

you vigorously nod your head.  anthony’s glare remains unaffected.

“alone?  together?  in your bedchamber?”

your heart almost leaps out of your chest, your eyes about to bulge out of their sockets as you look around the room, suddenly aware of where you are.  you are in benedict’s bedchamber.  alone.  together.

“i—” you start, very pathetically.  “i——  we—”

anthony curtly bows his head at you.

“y/n, i would like to have a word with my brother.  in private.  please.”

“of— of course, right— of course!”

you hastily put the sketch on a nearby table and walk towards the door, pass anthony as he steps in, and are about to run down the hall and away from the scene when—

you turn and steal a glance at benedict, mustering up all the apologies you can convey through your eyes.  despite the peril of his current predicament, his ocean eyes soften immediately, and a thousand butterflies erupt in your stomach and flutter around viciously.  he offers you a slight smile, one that is sincere and unregretful.  you offer one back, just as sincere, just as unregretful, before anthony gives you another bow of his head and closes the door.

–

“are you pleased by the results of your consorted trickery?” you state blandly upon seeing the young ladies that you thought were your friends sitting in the drawing room.

eloise looks up from her pamphlet, beaming at you, as penelope wears a wide and proud smile.  well, at least they have answered your question.

“trickery?” eloise feigns.  you roll your eyes; their expressions answer honestly, but their words continue their game.  “i have no idea what you are referring to.  pen and i were merely keen on viewing the art gallery today, and i thought, my blue-deviled of an elder brother ought to stop moping about; what better to get him to leave his bedchamber than by way of his favorite topic?”

“and his other favorite topic,” penelope adds.  eloise chortles, and you feel the tips of your ears heat.

“what is that supposed to mean!”

eloise waves a dismissive hand at you.

“benedict knew nothing of your arrival, as i am sure you deduced by his surprise,” but the second eldest daughter grins wickedly.  “though, from the sheer amount of time you have spent together thus far today, i am also sure the surprise was very welcomed, indeed.”

“by both parties, it seems.”

you promptly ignore the flush you feel on the apples of your cheeks.  your friends are lucifer incarnate split into two.

“well, then you must be delighted to know that your shared plot has led to punitive action against him.”

that surprises them.  (good.  you are relieved to finally have some sort of an upperhand in this conversation.)

“‘punitive action’?  by whom?  for what?”

“by—”

the three of you hear a set of footsteps.  you look to where the sounds are heard and see the two eldest bridgerton siblings enter the drawing room, the elder approaching you with conviction and the younger trailing behind him like a pet that has just been reprimanded.  the sight would make you laugh, if you weren’t the one to have instigated the current conflict between the two brothers.

anthony stands before you, posture perfect and chin held up high.

“y/n, thank you for your patience.  please allow me to apologize most ardently on behalf of my brother for his complete and utter lack of propriety.  it will not happen again as i shall be more vigilant in tracking his every deed.  i do hope this incident of my brother’s disrespect does not taint the beloved friendship between you and our family.” 

and he deeply bows his head at you.

your jaw drops.  benedict shuts his eyes tight and scrunches his face.  penelope bops her gaze amongst the three of you.  and eloise just howls, causing anthony to break the gravitas of his decorum and shoot a glare at her.

“it is no laughing matter, eloise!”

“it is harmless fun, brother!  a pursuit of intellect exchanged between two creatives, who also happened to be by themselves.  i have never heard of a baby being conceived from sharing some art.”

“ELOISE BRIDGERTON!”

you have now entirely hidden your face behind your hands; no one needs to witness the deep crimson that you are certain is spreading very rapidly across your countenance.  an absurd hope also blooms in you that if you cannot see the others, then the others cannot see you.

“what ever is the matter in here?” 

your eyes shoot open upon hearing the much needed voice of reason.  removing your hands from your face, you see kathani enter the drawing room, a confused expression worn on her face.  

“my dearest,” anthony begins, “i have offered my deepest apologies to y/n for benedict’s disgrace.”

“disgrace,” scoffs eloise, crossing her arms.

“disgrace!” reiterates anthony with increased fervor.  kathani’s confusion does not lighten.  she looks to benedict, whose eyes are scrunched closed again (his nose looks adorable this way), and then to you.

“are you all right, y/n?” she inquires gently.

“i—” you had intended to say, am well, but that would be a lie.  you are utterly mortified.  so, instead, you state the truth.

“benedict has been a gentleman.  he has treated me with the utmost respect, and when he has done wrong by me— which!  which has nothing to do with our being in his bedchamber!—  he—” you steady your voice, determined to say this right, as you know and feel it with and in your heart, “he has corrected himself and bettered his words and thoughts and deeds.”

“you hear that, brother?  no harm has been done.”

“eloise, you were not even there!”

“i believe what eloise means, anbe, is that you are being dramatic.”

“dramat— they were in his bedchamber, kathani!  together!  alone!”

kathani rolls her eyes, her attempt at diplomacy entirely gone.

“speak louder, anthony; just a bit more and the entire country shall hear you.”

the viscount pouts grumpily at his beloved, emitting a huff of air through his nostrils.  

“you must trust y/n by her word,” the viscountess states.

“or do you not trust someone of feminine disposition to speak for herself?” eloise inquires.

“pen!” 

you all snap your gazes to the entrance of the drawing room and see colin making his way to your friend in blue, followed by—

“y/n!” shouts gregory and hyacinth as they run towards you.

“y/n, penelope!” remarks violet and approaches you both.  “how delightful it is to see you!  you—” she says, reaching out for your hand, gently taking it in hers, and smiling kindly at you, “—in particular.  it has been a moment, y/n.” 

it melts your heart, really.  the sincerity of affection that flows so easily from violet bridgerton.  you recall the kind eyes and benevolent smile of her late husband.  it is no wonder you so easily fell in love with this family; true, real love is woven into the very fabrics of each of their beings.

you look at them.  hyacinth and gregory cling onto your slides, holding you tight.  kathani and anthony are engrossed in debate, affection in their eyes despite the heat in their words.  colin and penelope speak with and blush around one another as eloise, unknowingly (and, in your opinion, frustratingly, endearingly), butts into their conversation.  and benedict.  who, with the gaze of the entire room no longer on his so-called indiscretion, is looking at you.  softly.  with those damned, wondrous, bewitching ocean eyes.  a smile on his lips that makes the flutterings in your stomach unbearingly, wonderfully unyielding.

you truly, really love this family.  

you love the bridgertons.

“though,” the dowager viscountess starts.  

shaking yourself out of your thoughts, you see how violet looks at the others in the room as half of them now pointedly avoid eye contact with the matriarch and the other half share a similar sentiment to her.

“is everything all right?” she turns to you, peering curiously into your eyes.  “has something happened?”

you cannot help the laugh that bubbles out of you.  violet seems taken aback by your reaction, as are the others in your periphery, but her eyes, as well as theirs, shine on.

“i think,” you say, smiling, “it is just another day with the bridgertons.”

#bridgerton #benedict bridgerton #benedict bridgerton fanfiction #benedict bridgerton x reader #benedict bridgerton x you #benedict bridgerton x y/n #benedict bridgerton imagine #benedict bridgerton fluff #benedict bridgerton angst #bridgerton x reader #bridgerton x you #bridgerton x y/n #penelope featherington #kate sharma #anthony bridgerton #colin bridgerton #eloise bridgerton #gregory bridgerton #hyacinth bridgerton #violet bridgerton

[grace-williams-xo]

There is much discussion on the internet about how many seasons of Bridgerton we’ll get, and how it will be approached. I have a wild theory, if you wanna TLDR and skip the ramblings then scroll down to the bold.

While 8 seems far fetched, a lot of people are thinking 6 but I increasingly don’t even think that will happen (or if it does, it won’t happen well).

Jonny has said he’s committed to Bridgerton, and making whatever he projects he gets work around it, and that he/kanthony will be at all the siblings weddings. His commitment to the show and increasing career is well displayed in s3. He’s only in the first of the four eps (tbd for the second half, let’s hope more!) but he filmed Fellow Travellers at the same time (watch it if you haven’t) and Wicked also at a similar time. I think we can count on him/kanthony making at minimum 1–2 appearances per season, regardless of how long it lasts.

Arguably the other biggest star of the show rn is Nicola, so will be interesting to see what she does in Bridgerton s4. There’s a trend of the lead actor/s taking a back seat in the season following their spotlight, so wouldn’t be surprising if it happened also with Polin/Nicola and Luke Newton.

Now, the core of the issue is the remaining stories. (Preface, I haven’t read any of the books but I know most of the general plots). Consensus is that Benedict will be s4; and (or maybe but) all the s3 Benedict press is talking about him going through changes, evolution and inching toward the marriage mart. One could say this is set up for s4, but that doesn’t feel entirely right to me. The only plot that needs the set up is Polin because of the friends to lovers arc, and we got that in s2. (If there’s more benophie set up that makes sense that I’m not aware of, let me know!)

While I know Francesca is popular with book readers, and her character steps up in s3, we can agree that the next most popular sibling is Eloise. Eloise’s story is also the most hotly debated about how authentic the show should be to the books. I know many book readers want Eloise’s story to stay mostly as it is, and while the more I read about it the more I come around to it, I think that a problem is posed by the fact that Marina’s character is much more significant and invested in the series than the books (so I hear).

On the note of Gregory and Hyacinth, I also think that the viewers are too attached and invested to them as children to want to see them as serious romantic partners with anyone. This isn’t even touching on the fact s8 would be released in (crikey I just did the maths) probably 2030 or 2031 😭

In my head there are three possible options for the future of the show. (Four, three good options).

1. Six seasons: with Benedict, Eloise and Francesca all getting a season. (Approx 2025, 2027 and 2028 release) (I think this would be the best option if the got their act together and made/released the seasons faster, but as the actors get busier I don’t see that happening)

2. Five seasons: with Benedict and Eloise getting a season. (The best (realistic) option imo).

3. Four seasons: Benedict season four, no Eloise. (The worst option imo).

4. Four seasons: Benedict season three AND four, Eloise season four. This is kinda why I made this post. Stay with me, hear me out.

All the indications that Benedict is evolving and stepping into the marriage mart this season make me think that they could be doing a lot more set up/start of the story than necessary for a brother who isn’t the lead yet. Beneloise are such an iconic duo that I think them falling in love together would be so fun. If they followed the book, then Eloise’s love is kinda long distance anyway. If they did do something different with Eloise (contentious, ik, I’m in two minds) and made her queer and/or not get married then it could also work well.

I don’t think this is the best outcome, I just think it might be the best outcome if we only get four seasons. The actors are all increasingly busy, and many (Claudia and Nicola especially) are already playing characters far younger than their characters.

Please let me know your thoughts on this rambling, especially if you’ve read the books. Tell me what will or won’t work!

–GW xo

#bridgerton #bridgerton season 3 #bridgerton season 4 #nicola coughlan #claudia jessie #jonathan bailey #benedict bridgerton #kanthony #eloise bridgerton #polin #francesca bridgerton #gregory bridgerton #hyacinth bridgerton #bridgerton theory

[galwithalibrarycard]

I am so hoping Bridgerton will Go There with Eloise x Cressida, but I also hope that… (book series spoiler and show-related rumor discussion under the cut)

…Francesca’s second love interest really does get genderbent to become Lady Michaela Stirling. A quick debunk of all the reasons I’ve seen people argue against this:

- They can still do a tie-in edition of the book, just put Fran’s actress Hannah Dodd on the cover without either of her love interests and highlight that the season is “inspired by” the book. They can even have Julia Quinn or another writer pull a Twilight and write the genderbent Michaela version of the novel and sell that too, double the books, double the profit. (They can do the same thing with the Eloise book if her TV love interest is Cressida or a recast [or rehired if she wants to come back and they can make the set a safer workplace for her mental health] Marina!)

- I understand that people who love book!Michael might be disappointed, but actually, book!Michael will not stop existing if the show goes the Michaela route! The book will be there for you, unchanged, no matter how the show adapts it. It doesn’t go away.

- The inheritance and infertility plot lines can be adapted, just differently. Maybe Michaela’s dad or brother inherits and knows she’s gay, accepts her, and gives her an allowance to live on. Maybe she’s a widow with a baby boy and he inherits.

- The infertility plotline doesn’t need to end with Fran getting pregnant, especially given that many people who struggle with their fertility in real life never do get pregnant. She can struggle with infertility/loss while married to John, then grieve him and their lost child, then when she’s ready to move on with a new love, she either adopts Michaela’s son or they adopt a ward together to raise as their own. (Adoption, when done ethically, is a VALID form of family-making.) Or F&M are the cool aunts who do all the babysitting for their niblings.

- Even if their relationship can’t be public, and that will always be a source of sadness and stress, they can still have accepting families and take each other as wives in their hearts if not in the law. Queer people have always existed and fallen in love. Allies have always existed and loved their queer relatives/friends, even when that was a dangerous and unpopular choice.

- Besides, this show does not have to be historically accurate. Maybe Queen Charlotte hears Brimsley and Reynolds’ love story and makes LGBT+ equality the law of the land about it.

- The concept of a long story arc where we see a character love her first partner deeply, mourn them, then fall just as deeply in love with a new person of a different gender from her first spouse, is so rare! A bi person who gets to articulate that all of the loves in her life are valid and equal is so sadly rare in media! This season would (I hope) force people to acknowledge that there’s more than straight or gay, that you can’t act like a bi person’s ex-husband “doesn’t count” just because she has a wife now. It would be so good!!!

- Also, while I’m at it, bi4bi Sophie and Benedict. She finds out he’s queer by seeing some exquisite male nudes in his sketchbook and is not even a little bit bothered. She aggressively finds him sexy about it, to combat the discomfort a lot of (straight) women have with dating bi men in real life. They both love having a partner who understands what it feels like to be bisexual, always stuck in the middle. This one’s just a headcanon… unless…?

- You got 3 straight couples already, you can share. And if you’re homophobic to me on this post I will block you. I’m just having fun speculating here.

#Bridgerton speculation #queer Bridgerton headcanons #possible queer adaptation choices #queering Bridgerton #Bridgerton #bridgerton spoilers #queerphobes will be blocked if they try to start shit on this post you’ve been warned #tw grief and infertility discussion re Fran’s story

[golddustedqueen]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

13! Tho one of them’s cowritten so maybe 12? Hopefully it’ll be up by one in a week or so tho~

2. what's your total Ao3 word count?

149,077 words! Probably like another ten thousand+ in wips

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently it’s mostly Genshin, but I’ve written for BNHA and Black Butler before and plan to write more BNHA and break out into at least bsd and possibly Voltron?

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Benedictions of the New Moon (E) (490)

Forever Mine Even Your Breath (E) (326)

Love Me Honey Like Ambrosia Wine (E) (300)

I Love You Most But I’m Not Worthy (E) (274)

When Wind Meets Grief and Divinity (E) (250)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yeah! I love interacting with readers! If i don’t then it’s usually that i saw it, meant to respond, and forgot😔 its the ADHD

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably When Wind Meets Grief And Divinity (E)? Forever Mine, Even Your Breath (E) is probably also pretty angsty, both are VERY dead dove do not eat so beware!

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oooh I dunno, I think maybeeee Its a Love Story (E)? I do think that ending is soooo cute! Oh and True Soul Bound To True Soul(T)!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I think I’ve gotten like one hate comment? Definitely have gotten some slightly annoying comments tho^^; readers pls, asking me to update does not make me go faster😭

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Smut is what I like writing the most! I love writing kinky queer smut, no one’s cis or straight in my fics

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I don’t really tend to? Not on my own at least, I’ve cowritten/rp’d/brain rotted a few but never finished or published anything.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Gosh i hope not! If you see my fics anywhere but ao3 they’re likely stolen!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of but if anyone would ever want to do so id welcome it!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yeah! Loads of times! Most aren’t published tho and likely will never be, you can find the singular published cowritten fic on my ao3! Black Butler: House of Gold

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Oh man I have to pick???? I don’t think i can! But I definitely love writing xv the most so far!! Smth abt them gives me violent brainworms

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Probably this one firefighter xiao/single mom chem major venti au i have, its plotted out pretty heavily and its super cute buuut i dunno modern aus aren’t my favorite to write and I have so many other ideas, but who knows! Maybe ill get brain worms for it eventually!

16. What are your writing strengths?

Id say prooobably my descriptions??? And world building?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Repetitiveness for sure, tho i think im getting better at not repeating constantly

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I think its a great idea!! I do it a bit in my fics, a word here and there with translations, and I think it helps like i dunno pull their culture in? Also I think sometimes the English version of certain words don’t have the same Impact yknow?

19. First fandom you wrote for?

…One Direction… i had like the beginnings of a whole fantasy au written out at one point and i had a sorta shadow hunters au started too

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Ooh thats a tough one!! I looove Benedictions of the New Moon (E) so much but i also love Treat Me Right (E) and Its A Love Story (E), those two are very much labors of love but i also think they’re really interesting!! Our Love Is Holy (E) is also one of my favs because it was the first time I wrote Venti the way I see her, a genderfluid transfemme! And it’s just so sappy even though its filthy

#my writing #xiaoven #my fics #shinkami #black butler #i stole this from sucrosette #its fine they love me~

[dreamwritesimagines]

It’s CMA-

Wait re: threesomes thing: does she know about how people of the same sex sleep together? Or has she just not thought about it? Because like…. That kind of explains it… (cue clover asking her sister and her husband and wife about queer sex……….)

SCREAMING teddy I love you but OH NO!!! Clover is going to be so fucking stressed!!! Also they really need to lock his art room…… although maybe Ben will be fine because he has younger siblings so he kind of gets it?? (if I were clover I’d be having a panic attack, which she might have anyway)

Damn clover planning murder…. I mean I get it but that’s so dark….

I’m going to cry that he’s so chill about it. Genuinely brb sobbing over here

Him respecting her in his old art room and telling her that even though it used to be his, he’s still going to respect her as a human being and not treat her as if she’s the guest in his space…. Oh my god I’m so emotional over this chapter

Poor Ben pining so badly and also LOL at the bridgertons continuing to be oblivious to Charlie and Anthony

And then asking her if Colin could come in 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Did Colin think they were about to hook up?????!!!?!! LMFAO or did he just think they would be super mushy

SCREAMING clover ur so bold for someone who doesn’t even know how sex works LMAO.

Also we’re getting the Colin/marina scandal?!!!!!??!!?!!? That’s like four scandals or near scandals in one season for that family!!! It’s like half the kids!!!!! Lmfaooo OMG. When it’s all four of them, Eloise is going to be so pissed cuz she’ll be under pressure when she’s supposed to have had YEARS!! Three siblings married in a few month span……. Omg…..

I love that they’re embracing using husband/wife as affectionate nicknames and goofing about it now. I also love that clover jumped right into teasing Colin and being comfortable around him without any preamble. Truly fitting in like she’d always been there.

OMG this chapter was SUCH a rollercoaster, and next week is the dinner!!!!!! Augh I’m already so nervous and excited!!!!!!!!!!!! There’s so much fluff potential but also angst and arguing and teasing and banter and potentially being triggering for her KAKCNNDJFJF

I also wonder if clover will be tense the entire time and not realize it because this is so foreign to her and won’t even notice until she snaps or starts crying at something insignificant or something (totally not projecting LMAO)

Also I forgot to mention- I wonder when the alarm bells will go off for clover’s family that she’s not gardening and stuff, and what they will do about it…. Josie will get angry at Ben for sure but idk tbh………..

I’m so nervous and also emotional over this chapter and the future story lololol

Okay love u lots!! Can’t wait to see ur reply:)

Hi my loveeee! ❤️

Oh she tried to ask Josie but Josie absolutely refused to give her the details😂 So she has her theories but she is more confused by the fact that there were three people there, not two 😂

She was on the verge of a panic attack but also, her mind was so focused on protecting Teddy that she couldn't even think about it 💔

Yesss the palette knife thing! 😱 I actually don't think she was flat out planning murder BUT she was gonna make him stop by all means necessary 💔 And even if she trusts Benedict, that trauma hit her back with its full force the minute Teddy did something that "might" anger him...😭💔

He respects her so much! ❤️

They literally can't even see how Anthony is in love with Charlie! 😂

Colin thought they were kissing at the very least 😏 But actually hooking up at the art room while his whole family is there, I doubt he thought that 😈 But I mean would they do it? 😏

Lolll she thinks she knows😂 Although she is rethinking that considering what happened at the party😂

The season of scandals! 😏 It'll be complete chaos 😂

Yesss and Clover doesn't even notice that! 😂 Like, she's so comfortable with the fact that they're married that she can even joke about it with him, it shows how much she's starting to trust him 😍

Oooh we will actually have lots of dinners in the following chapters and we're skipping this one so that it won't be repetitive 🥰 But we will see some dinners and it will be fun! ❤️

Josie will be so protective! 🥰 Like, rn they don't think anything of it, her not gardening because she's too "busy" in her honeymoon😏 But Josie will eventually bring it up and ask her why she's not doing it❤️

Thank you so so much darling! 😍🥰 ILY! ❤️❤️❤️

[nat-20s]

i respect ur opinion abt not liking coming of age stories, like thats completely fine esp since u are an adult and everyone is allowed to have their own taste!! but as a teenager its like. yes there *definitely* needs to be more queer media that isnt just for teens, i absolutely agree w u on that, but just bc its not something you can get invested in doesnt mean that teenagers must not like it too. im in high school rn and maybe this is lame of me but i love cute teen queer romances and coming of age stories. also, they personally arent my thing, but i know a bunch of teenagers who like those “dark” reboots and stuff. again its totally cool not to like that stuff, but maybe its just bc you’ve grown out of it/or its just not your taste/not for you? just bc a piece of media happens to be about teenagers or it isn’t that realistic to high school experiences doesn’t mean that it doesnt have any worth

Oh I agree anon! I don't think (?) i ever claimed that nobody should like teen stories or that they can't appeal to people or that these pieces of media shouldn't exist, and I think it's wonderful if people can see themselves in/enjoy these narratives. I'm not saying high school stories don't have any worth as a whole, but rather there's nothing really in them for me personally, and I wish that some of the more adventurous/romantic/self-discovery plotlines that you get to see frequently (and in my personal opinion somewhat unrealistically but mileage will vary) in YA/high school media got to be more common in stories about older characters. I won't say that 'oh i've just aged out of stories about teenagers' bc a: high school stories have NEVER appealed to me it's not an age based thing and b: there's actually many stories with younger protags I do enjoy! I don't really like specifically coming of age high school stories, but Gravity Falls is one of my all time favorite shows, and I've DEFINITELY enjoyed my fair share of middle grade stories! Your series of unfortunate events, your mysterious benedict society, even you avatar the last airbender are all extremely good and enjoyable and i like them and they all star characters mostly between like 10-16 years old! I personally have a strong dislike of most teen romances half bc i can't get invested and half bc i had a total of zero experiences like that when I was a teenager, but i have absolutely no issue with people enjoying those things themselves! TLDR: a i don't think it's in any way bad for people to enjoy teen media im just personally sick of it getting it recommended to me and that's absolutely a specific taste thing b: i desperately wish there was more queer media and self discovery media and fun adventure media and first love media that was about older characters especially because youth obsession is rampant and some people genuinely act like their life is over at 30 and woof and c: cmon. like fr fr cmon some of those teen dramas would make infinitely more sense and be infinitely less creepy if they were set in college you gotta admit.

#replies #anon #let it be known that there is a difference between me personally being a hater and saying no one should enjoy something #or that it shouldn't exist #for example: im a hater of the movie Midsommar #but it's not something i extend to the people that enjoy it. it's not a movie i think shouldn't exist #im still gonna bitch about it tho <3 #unlike the dahmer netflix series which I genuinely think should never have been made and I am side eyeing fans severely #that's not me just being a hater where as with teen media? I'm just bein a hater #i think it sucks to try and watch and im sick of having it recommended to me #but the /i/ is important. it's a personal taste thing! it's not even a judgement thing for those who enjoy it! i just like it better when #protags are adults! would love more Adult ass Adults in fun media!

[londonspirit]

October in London

I just realized I have not yet shared pics from my latest (and last) London trip (this year; I will be back now that traveling is doable again).  Four and a quarter glorious days in my fav city with the most beautiful weather one can ask for at the end of October! 

Arrived on Thursday on my own as C was going to join me on Friday so I had a day to myself. Sadly my evening plans got cancelled just two hours prior: the play I had wanted to see didn’t happen. Which was a shame as I’ve read quite a few nice things about it. (My Son’s a Queer But What Can You Do). So wandering around Camden Town/Greater London it was. Which is always nice. I LOVE London at night, it’s got that special feeling to it. Also: Camden Town this late isn’t as busy as over the day (although most shops and stores are closed or closing but still nice). (I also realized I may get to old for shared dorms... but it was just for one night so that wasn’t too bad) 

On Friday C arrived and we moved into our private room at the YHA in Earl’s Court. Basement, no wifi but with a garden and no strangers to share it with! After an unsuccessful trip to the nearest Tesco superstore for tea, we got ready for the Letters Live event at the RAH.  God, what a beautiful venue (even thought the first thing I saw was a freaking DALEK *hehe*). So very gorgeous! And what a line-up we had: Benedict Cumberbatch, Louise Brealey, Sue Perkins, Jonathan Pryce, Stephen Mangan, Graham Norton and so many more. The Letters were funny and heartbreaking, BC’s sea gull story had me in stitches (you know the one, with the hotel room and the pepperoni), and the period one was hysterical as well. There was some organ playing towards the end and DAMN, I still have goosebumps just thinking about that! Being in a place like that is such an amazing experience! Stage door was a bust and it was cold and windy and we were tired so thus endeth our Friday night adventure. 

But... we were back at the RAH on Saturday morning for a backstage tour. I always love these: you learn sooo much about a building and its history and the Royal Albert Hall is fascinating! Def going back there.  Sadly there was another stumble as the friend I wanted to meet up with was stuck in Leicester Square with no buses going and after some back and forth, we cancelled that meeting as well. Which is a shame, I haven’t seen her since the summer and I miss hanging out with her.  But we had to be at the Harold Pinter for our second trip highlight: the great David Tennant on stage!!! Having had booked tickets back in 2019 (!!!), it finally happened, almost two years later.  ... well, I’ve never left a play this disturbed, let me tell you that. I LOVE DT on stage, he always gives it his everything and his performance was outstanding as was the rest of the cast (well, two more people, Elliot Levey and Sharon Small). But the topic was just... ugh. I mean, it was so harrowing it really ruined the rest of the evening for us. And I’ve NEVER had that. I don’t know if it was because we’re Germans and shit like this ALWAYS hits differently, or because it’s too fucking relevant again these days, it was a freaking mood killer and we quickly went ‘home’ and to bed. (I will probably never get the image of DT in THAT uniform out of my head, and not for a good reason. *shudders* And I absolutely despise people saying he looked good in it.) 

Sunday morning we got up bright and early to FINALLY buy ALL THE TEA!!! (my backpack STILL smells like it and it’s the most beautiful scent!!)  The newly opened Battersea Power Station was our next stop where we waited about an hour to have London’s most amazing pancakes!!! Well worth it. The place just opened a week prior so things didn’t go as smoothly as one would expect but the manager soo made up for it! Everyone was stressed out but she was fluttering from table to table, checking on people, making sure everyone was happy (and our teas were on the house because we had waited so long). So if you go to ‘Where The Pancakes Are’ at Battersea Power Station be extra nice to her!  After that we had to hurry a bit to be at our booked slot for the Skygarden. First time for C to watch the sunset from there (second time for me) and it’s sooo worth it, even though it’s usually rather packed that time of day!!!  Also: the cocktails are super potent (and super expensive) so we spent the second half of the day a tad tipsy and very giggly, having another wander around London (even though we said we didn’t want to walk that much again - guess which day was the one where we walked the most? Yep, that Sunday! *hehe*)  It was late when we came back home but the spirits were once again high and happy! 

Monday was leaving day, always a sad one. But as always, London provided us with sooo many memories that it’ll last till the next time!!! 

Lots of love to C for coming along with me: soo needed, so wonderful! Here’s to the next time hopefully very very soon!!! 

#personal #london travels #london #theatre

[mermaidsirennikita]

They really have noooo idea what to do with Benedict. I feel like they're still trying to figure out if he's going to be straight.

I think there are several issues occurring with them being stumped on him, which they absolutely are.

A) The creative team is not organically that interested. No matter how much the fans like Luke T. and Benedict, that doesn't make the creative team any more into him. There are showrunners and powers that be that prioritize what the fans like to a ridiculous degree; there are showrunners and powers that be which meet in the middle between what they want and what fans want (rare and probably ideal); and there are showrunners and powers that be that go "we do what we want". Historically.... People who work at Shondaland usually do what they want. Sometimes that's great; sometimes it's not. Look at Grey's Anatomy; does anyone want more of Owen Hunt? No, but Krista Vernoff does, and so y'all will choke on him. I think we all know the Powers That Be (Shonda especially) love Penelope.

B) To reinforce this, it's not like Penelope is this character that gets little engagement. I hate her. A lot of viewers hate her. A lot of viewers love her. She may not be as more universally well-received, the way Anthony/Kate and even Simon/Daphne are. But people do talk about her, and a character that gets lots of attention from the genpop is more valuable than a character that doesn't. I know a lot of fandom loves Benedict... I don't see as much of that from people who generally watch the show, most likely because he doesn't do much.

C) And those that do discuss him in the genpop (with me at least) usually assume he's bi because season 1 coded him hard and they don't know about or give a fuck about Sophie. There are people employed to gather info about how TV shows and characters are perceived. The creative team knows this. They also know that it doesn't look particularly great if a show that peddles love stories has zero meaningful queer rep. Decisions, decisions.

D) Sophie's plot is difficult to adapt, both because it is not very dramatically invigorating and because there are a host of bad implications if you cast a woman of color as what is essentially a slave to her family. I honestly don't know if they're clocking this, but I imagine the general strugglebus that is book 3. Contrary to what fandom would have you think today, book 3 was not one of the more popular books in the series before the show came out. It was kind of a nothing burger sandwiched between the two most popular books in the series. So it's not even going to be a priority from the "serving the book fans" perspective.

Honestly? There's a decent chance that Benedict gets shafted again in season 4, and like......... Who knows if they'll get more than four seasons. Eloise is more primed for a love story than he is, at this point. I wouldn't make any bets until you watch s3 or hear something concrete.

#bridgerton

[triviareads]

ok so I have no one to pitch this idea to except your messages. sorry in advance. i’m a show only bridgerton fan so take this with a grain of salt probably. i’ve spent the past month kinda following the discourse around people (me included) wanting queer representation, specially considering how much eloise and benedict were queer coded in s1 (and still tbh), and some people bringing up that genderbending the sophie storyline would be kinda misogynistic. i see where the second group is coming from, and agree that the intersections of class, probably race AND gender are important to explore. but hear me out. what if instead of genderbending b and e’s stories, they switched them? make eloise meet a mysterious lady at a ball at the beginning of s3, a lady who she hangs out with now that penelope is out of the picture and that she has great conversation with, who has fascinating things to say about women’s lib, who is fierce and brave and interesting. have the lady disappear, and eloise not getting her out of her head, in a VERY different way than theo. i think it makes sense with the way eloise’s character has been developed so far that she keeps poking around outside of the ton either way, but specially if she’s intrigued by someone and wants to find them and thinks that that scene is where she might. maybe it’s even a way for penelope to start trying to mend their friendship, if she somehow finds out and wants to help eloise instead of discouraging her like with theo. and I feel like if eloise was having a crisis with her feelings and sexuality, she’d need a friend. benedict is there of course, but someone else as well. anyway, rebellious eloise seems like a great person to have a story with a working class woman that is not only a good romance but a good opportunity to tackle the issues people have been saying sophie’s story does. it’s even a good way to contrast privileged white liberal feminism with more complex struggles, a way for eloise to also grow and learn from someone as she falls in love with them. i also feel like the queen might be kinda lenient towarda eloise since she accused her of being lady whistledown and even without that, the queen is so much about love above all else that I don’t see why she wouldn’t be on board with a sapphic marriage. i guess this idea would mean changing the story orders but i’ve read that might happen anyway. and then s5 can be benedictxphillip crane (after s4 polin), hopefully without marina dying. maybe she even knows, and it’s part of their arrangement, phillip married her for honor but also because he wasn’t planning to marry anyway. then marina can get another chance at an actual happy and loving romantic relationship. i just think show!phillip’s nerdy sensibilities and love for nature would be a good match for benedict’s artist soul. so as a book fan who knows these characters much better than i do, how do you think this would work?

I don't see Benedict x Phillip happening, and I'm not the biggest fan. I'd much rather Benedict end up with a man we've yet to meet.

It would be interesting to see Eloise with another working class love interest, but this time, a woman. I'd be curious to see whether they handle the intersectionality of feminism and class better than they did in S2, esp. with Theo mansplaining feminism to Eloise, and Eloise (lowkey rightfully) being accused of just wanting to slum it for a bit.

But yeah, otherwise, I'm all for the queer!Bridgerton agenda, because quite frankly, in a family with 8 siblings, surely a few of them are queer, and more importantly, in a romance show in 2022, surely the writers realize that we deserve queer love stories that aren't sidelined, because they sure as hell existed in 1814.

#bridgerton #eloise bridgerton #benedict bridgerton #theo sharpe #ask #lgbtq

[thekatebridgerton]

It has been confirmed today that Benedict is straight in the show

There have been many ways I've wanted to answer this ask ranging from understanding, to cute, to outright losing followers dark humor. So I'm going to give you all of them because I can't just pick one.

1) A sad loss, but we can always headcannon him as Bisexual and nobody can take the fanon from us. $$ Invest in fanon now $$ once season 2 airs fanon will be prime realstate. I choose to keep Bi Benedict

2) Well, no matter his sexual orientation, he will always be a great character to me. And that's all that matters.

3) I wonder how many people that announcement pissed off? Just out of curiosity. Because you know, I use the block button liberally and don't browse trough Twitter. But still One has to prepare for the eventual reveal that Eloise is also very likely heterosexual herself and let's just say this author will be investing in a fireproof mailbox when that happens.

4) Benedict's story is already about a marginalized character facing social ostracizing for something she didn't choose. They probably kept Benedict straight to maintain the focus on Sophie's very real struggle with family trauma, poverty and class discrimination.

5) I'm not angry at this, but I have to agree that season 1 Benedict was blatant queerbaiting and it's wrong to do that to the audience. Readers There's a difference between Supernatural and Sherlock level of hush-hush-men-sleep-with-women-but-they-maybe-probaby-are-into-into-their-male friends kind of queerbaiting and then there's Bridgerton. Where an actual gay character talks to Benedict about the struggles of a gay man, to be gay, in his position and social standing. And Benedict then later has a threesome in what looks like a place where queer people are free to let lose and be themselves. Only for season 2 to go lol no he's not even actually bisexual or even gay. Badly done Netflix, seriously badly done

6) Who cares about Benedict, I want to talk about Sophie. She's the star of next season anyway. Being confirmed as straight is the least problematic thing about Benedict. Not worshipping Sophie like the jewel she is, is what makes is what makes him a disappoinment

There you have it anon 6 ways I could have answered this ask and one way I am chosing to actually answer:

7) I'm sorry that this news makes a lot of people sad, I know how important representation is for the LGBTQ community and it would have been amazing for Benedict to be canonically Bi. I'm also sad that queer people don't get more representation in original shows and get disappointed by characters created long before the LGBTQ community was recognized as a minority with rights of their own. Even if I do prefer characters like Benedict and Eloise to remain straight or at the very least Bisexual because that means I get to keep other characters like Sophie and Philip. Who's stories also make me happy. And who's love stories I want to see on screen. I can aknowledge and recognize that the LGBTQ community doesn't get treated fairly by big budget Hollywood productions and I hope this changes in the future. They deserve relatable big budget romance stories just as much as heterosexual people do.

And that's the tea anon

#bridgerton #benedict bridgerton #benophie #sophie beckett #bridgerton season 2

[aspoonfuloffiction]

ok so I have no one to pitch this idea to except you. sorry in advance. i’m a show only bridgerton fan so take this with a grain of salt probably. i’ve spent the past month kinda following the discourse around people (me included) wanting queer representation, specially considering how much eloise and benedict were queer coded in s1 (and still tbh), and some people bringing up that genderbending the sophie storyline would be misogynistic. i see where the second group is coming from, and agree that the complexities of class, probably race AND gender are important to explore. but hear me out. what if instead of genderbending b and e’s stories, they switched them? make eloise meet a mysterious lady at a ball at the beginning of s3, a lady who she hangs out with now that penelope is out of the picture and that she has great conversation with, who also cares about gender issues and class issues, who seems well-read and fierce and brave. have the lady disappear, and eloise not getting her out of her head, in a way much different than theo. i think it makes sense with the way eloise’s character has been developed so far that she keeps poking around outside of the ton either way, but specially if she’s intrigued by someone and wants to find them and thinks that that scene is where she might. maybe it’s even a way for penelope to start trying to mend their friendship, if she somehow finds out and wants to help eloise instead of discouraging her like with theo. and I feel like if eloise was having a crisis with her feelings and sexuality, she’d need a friend. benedict is there of course, but someone else as well. anyway, rebellious eloise seems like a great person to have a story with a working class woman that is not only a good romance but a good opportunity to tackle the issues people have been saying sophie’s story does. it’s even a good way to contrast privileged white liberal feminist stances with more intersectional takes, a way for eloise to also grow and learn from someone as she falls in love with them. i also feel like the queen might be kinda lenient towarda eloise since she accused her of being lady whistledown and even without that, the queen is so much about love above all else that I don’t see why she wouldn’t be on board with a sapphic marriage. i guess this idea would mean changing the story orders but i’ve read that might happen anyway. and then s5 can be benedict+phillip crane, hopefully without marina dying. maybe she even knows, and it’s part of their arrangement, phillip married her for honor but also because he wasn’t planning to marry anyway. then marina can get another chance at an actual happy and loving romantic relationship. i just think phillip’s nerdy sensibilities and love for nature would be a good match for benedict’s artist soul. so as a book fan who knows these characters much better than i do, how do you think this would work?

Sorry I didn’t see this!! My inbox is super backed up I try but sometimes things get buried!

As far as your theory-I like it and I would love anything that gets us actually tangible queer representation but I actually have just accepted we never will.

I think switching Benedict and Eloise’s stories is a bit unlikely because it might interfere with Julia Quinn’s Netflix tie in sales? However I don’t know how after sitting through two seasons of Anthony and Eloise dating for lack of better term under their station and Anthony with his title literally marrying a woman of no gentle birth from another country the stakes for Sophie are kinda negligible for me? Which is why I am nb!Sophie truther (which will also never happen but at least its fresh)

Also your opinions and theories are no less valid as a show only viewer!!! Gatekeeping is dumb!! All fans are equally fans

#bridgerton #asks

[mskatesharma]

every single person i know who's watched s1, irrespective of whether they read the books, thought benedict was gay till we actually saw him making out with that woman in that orgy. 😭😭😭 i know benophie is a well-liked ship but it wasn't my favorite book and i'd have loved it more if they'd gone for that artist x benedict lol. or male!sophie? idk. also in my head henry golding was bagwell (blame crazy rich asians), but that's not going to happen :/ i wasn't TOO invested in that but yea.

(would also love eloise to be asexual actually, but that's also probably not happening, i still can't picture her with the philip they've shown us tho.)

i get all the reservations about sophie being a woc but i feel like she still will be one because as of now, the next two couples are all white - pen and colin, philip and eloise.

also idk if you've watched lost in space but ajay friese in my head is gareth, and his character in the show has a similar-ish dynamic in the show with one of the girls too. i know he's a bit young but it's a fancast :p

I think most of us(?) think that Benedict's storyline from season 1 gives an indication that he is queer, or rather, his sexuality is going to be explored in the second season. If they don't end up doing that, then IMO, it's a clear case of queer-baiting.

I have a feeling that they had Benedict befriend Henry, so that Ben could see a relationship that is considered taboo for the time, i.e between two men, and the way it struggles, to foreshadow his relationship with Sophie. However, I find that to be in such bad taste, because a relationship between two people of different social and economic classes is not the same as a relationship between two people of the same sex or gender, and it doesn’t face the same obstacles.

(Answer got long so put it under the cut)

If Granville and Weatherby's relationship was to be made public, their literal lives would be in danger; it's not a stretch to say that they could be killed. If Benedict were to marry a maid, sure there would be some social ostracisation (to an extent, he's a second son so there's less pressure on him), but neither of them are going to be at risk of losing their lives.

If they wanted to show the struggles of a relationship between two people of different social and economic classes, Anthony and Siena were right there. But for whatever reason, they chose not to go down that route, so I hope that my fears about queer-baiting prove unfounded, and that Ben will be exploring his sexuality next season? (Also, Ben realising that he likes both men and women won't devalue or demean his relationship with Sophie, and to suggest that it would is really gross.)

Ben's book isn't my favourite, tbh I couldn't really stand book!Ben and kept wanting to shake Sophie and tell her he isn't worth it lol. Which I was surprised about because having watched the show first, I really liked Ben's character. Sophie, however, is an absolute sweetheart who deserves everything good in the world (which doesn't include book!Ben imo, so I'm glad they've changed him in the show).

To your point about a male!Sophie, it is a thought that I had too. However, I was discussing this with a friend, and they pointed out that changing a woman character to a man probably wouldn't be best, just because it would be erasing Sophie's story, and if she were changed to be a man, I guess some of the precariousness of her situation would be lost? And Sophie is such a wonderful character by herself, that I'm not really sure how it would translate to her becoming a man?

And yeah, I think Sophie will be played by a WOC because the two couples after that (Polin and Philoise) will be all white.

Look, lesbian Edwina owns my heart, but I know how unlikely it is that the show will go down that route. But instead of pairing her with a white man, can we not pair her with a MOC? Henry Golding is interesting? Tbh I don't see him as Bagwell, but I could maybe see him as John Stirling? And then Colin from Crazy Rich Asians as Michael, because he was hot lol (I know it’s not likely but it’s just fancasting).

I don't know if Eloise as asexual was mentioned in a previous ask, but I could see it? I'm not exactly a book!Phillip fan, but I think we saw so little of him in the first season that it was hard to discern his character properly. Plus, in order for Philoise to happen, Marina has to die, and the idea of that makes me so uncomfortable for a number of reasons.

And I haven't read IIHK, so I don't really know the vibe~ Gareth gives off, but this is Ajay Friese for anyone who doesn't know. I had to look him up as I haven't seen Lost in Space. And he might be young now, but it will be a good few years before they get to Hyacinth's book so he has time lol.

#ask #anon #benedict bridgerton #bridgerton #now that anon has mentioned henry golding i can't get it out of my head that if the bridgertons weren't white henry as benedict???

[dinapaulson]

The Top Ten Times Bridgerton Titillated Me AKA Gave Life

After making haste to consume the series in a day, and the next rewatching Simon and Daphnes’ scenes only (highly recommend), at the crack of the following, I realized it was the magic of seemingly smaller moments, sometimes, in the form of behind-the-scenes and back story beauty, woven into the larger storyline expositions that really stayed with me—a storytelling feat Her Majesty, Shonda Rhimes, is known for. Here are the top ten times this happened, causing my cinephile soul considerable thought and feels. 

1. Simon’s bedside manner while Daphne is in labor

It struck me the first time while watching how—how shall I put it—calm Simon looked, while Daphne screamed and breathed her head off. No, calm is not quite the word—eerily still, without any emotion or exertion of his own. At first confounded by His Grace, I realized he was terrified; scarred and petrified into a place that had no emotion to rely upon. Would Daphne survive childbirth? Was he having an out-of-body experience, imagining, as I am sure he was told, his immense a**hole of a father pacing outside the room where the Duchess was giving birth to Simon, obsessed with the “outcome” and would not deign to be by her side, what that must have felt like, to be so cold and removed from life, feeling, humanity, and here Simon was, in perfect, firm love, at Daphne's side, being a whole part of their child’s birth? (When their son is born, his stock Simon-ness returns, as he, filled with emotion, gently holds their son from Daphne’s arms, then implies, impishly, because of the Bridgerton family tradition, their son’s name must begin with “A.”)

2. A chocolate will do just perfectly 

The perfection of friendship between Eloise and Penelope is well on display throughout the series. There was one moment that caught my breath for the sheer ease of what friendship is—truly relating without needing to fully understand the other but being, sitting, anyhow, in pure acceptance of the other and mutual situation. Such is what happens when Penelope tells Eloise, in gentle expository explosion, her path is and will be different, more difficult to navigate than hers, without having a sister who is a Duchess, and moreover, she thinks she wants a life different than the independent dream the two of them speak of. And, to that, Eloise offers a chocolate, and to that, Penelope's smile-inducing smile and simply reaching for one is friendship goals. 

3. “I beg your pardon?” 

As others have pointed out, there is plenty of hotness to Simon buttoning Daphne’s cuff as a clear metaphor for the sexual unbuttoning/buttoning to come. But, what gets me every time is Simon’s reaction to Daphne’s question, his face both gently confirming and sexily contorting, which seems to beg the idea that in a different house of language, not one for promenade but perhaps one a rake aka Regency f*ck boy would inhabit, this term had an, o, one might say, slightly less innocent meaning. 

4. The nighttime, swing chats between Eloise and Benedict

I dare say it was Eloise who checked her brother on his white man privilege that sent him (still) strolling to Henry Granville’s house to take a (completely protected, see white privilege) risk of himself as a potential new somebody, in this case, an artist. 

5. Were others hoping Henry and Benedict would have a go at it? 

I think I mistook their mutual intrigue for desire, though I dare say Benedict flinging himself with considerable umph into the ménage-a-trois with Madame Delacroix and her friend, may have been, in part, a turn-on from stumbling upon Henry with his love, Lord Willoughby, making love. I recognize this ponderance might be a stretch, but, if I may—remember that conversation A Happiest Season launched in queer Twitterverse about the likelihood, with multiple siblings, of at least one sibling being gay? Come on, there are eight of them! Tell me I am not the only queer fan who would love to see one Bridgerton explore a truthfully desired same-sex relationship on the show. 

6. “Simon” (**heart begins to ache**)

After Simon gives one of his best speeches, in episode five to the queen, in his and Daphne’s effort to persuade Her Majesty to assist them in getting a marriage license, so moved is Daphne by what he says, that she turns to him, as if no one else is in the room, with an emotive quiver, staring watery and straight into his eyes, and out comes a quaking: “Simon.” Indeed, Simon’s speech of the love from whom he cannot stay away nor let be the one who got away is the discursive, definitive foreplay to their physical consumption of each other. Later, he says quietly to her heart twisted back: “Everything I said to the queen was true.” 

7. “From the mornings you ease, to the evenings you quiet, to the dreams you inhabit, my thoughts of you never end...” 

Um. So, this is just one of the most perfect romantic things I have ever heard one human being utter to another. 

8. Also: this was a nearly all-female credited writer cast (with the exception of the series’ premiere and finale episodes, credited to showrunner Chris Van Dusen). I delightfully sighed as each woman writer’s name danced in Bridgerton font across my screen. What genius interplay of words that cut and bit and lobbed and heeled, then healed, revealed, and felt so completely—wonderful.  Here are the writing credits:

Janet Lin for episode 2, ”Shock and Delight”

Leila Cohan-Miccio for episode 3, ”The Art of the Swoon”

Abby McDonald for episode 4, “An Affair of Honor”

Joy C. Mitchell for episode 5, ”The Duke and I” Sarah Dollard for episode 6, ”Swish” Jay Ross and Abby McDonald for episode 7, “Oceans Apart” 

Additionally listed under writers are Jess Brownell as Executive Story Editor on “Shock and Delight” and “Diamond of the First Water,” Joy C. Mitchell also as Executive Story Editor on “Shock and Delight” and “Diamond of the First Water,” and Abby McDonald as Staff Writer on “Shock and Delight” and “Diamond of the First Water.” 

9. Simon goes down—a lot 

At least two times we know of, but we may assume more, that giving Her Grace pleasure between her legs is something that comes easily, perhaps even needily, to him. Just that. It is hot and wanting and you know, with various talk about men not wanting to go down on women, well, representation matters. 

10. Choosing present over past 

This is a Golden Age TV theme of late, strong in the final season of Jessica Jones and luscious The Queen’s Gambit, though, perhaps, choosing to be present is the overall life theme, always, and just manifests differently in all of our journeys. The fabulously eviscerate Lady Danbury says: “Pride, Your Grace: it will cost you everything and leave you with nothing.” What Simon gains by choosing to be in his present is not only the opportunity to feel and develop a love, and family, with Daphne, but he gives himself space—cleans out the leftovers, once and for all—to fully inhabit the now, which means anything could be ahead. 

#bridgerton #bridgerton netflix #daphne bridgerton #simon hastings #duke of hastings #daphne x simon #simon x daphne #simon and daphne #daphne and simon #top ten #shonda rhimes #thank you shonda #shondaland #netflix #chris van dusen #women writers #golden age of tv #your grace

[talenlee]

The Johnlock Conspiracy Conspiracy

First of all this is going to be building off a point first cast into relief for me by Sarah Z’s video on The Johnlock Conspiracy. She is both directly connected with the experience of this space and did the research into the actual history of the people involved, a sort of on-the-spot observer recounting her experiences ethnographically. If you want a longer form deep dive on what The Johnlock Conspiracy is, check out that video. I will be providing a quick summary.

I’m also going to talk about fanagement, which I wrote about last year, which is about the way that fan engagement was seen as being a thing that corporate entities could deliberately engage for commercial ends. Fanagement isn’t necessarily an inherently evil or corrupting thing, but it’s something to know about as something that exists, and knowing it exists can colour your relationship to the media created in response to fanagement.

There’s this idea of ‘The Johnlock conspiracy.’

In the agonisingly mediocre BBC mystery drama Sherlock that ran from who cares to also who cares, starring in the loosest sense of the word Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman (a man ‘renowned’ for this, The Office and the Hobbit trilogy, on a scale of poisonous influence to actual outright evil), as a modern day re-imagining of Sherlock Holmes and John Watson that has some interesting ideas that it absolutely does not use well, mysteries that are not interesting and a relationship tension that was making itself up as it went along. Much ink has been spilled about how this series is not very good, and that’s good, because it’s a very expensively made bad series that banks on the reliable draw of the same fistful of boring privilege.

Part of what made it popular, sort of, was the tension of the relationship between John and Sherlock. See, they were both men, you see, and what if they kissed.

Now, tumblr is, by volume, mostly connections to other parts of tumblr. If you make something popular, it becomes amplified and exploded and brought to the attention of others and curated into lists. Content that gets shared is the very sinew of what Tumblr is, which means that doing things people share around is a strange form of primacy on the site. Making content is powerful, heady, druglike. Commanding curation where you determine what does and does not get shared is even moreso. It is a space for an audience that is engaged deeply with the concept of being engaged, and in this space, fandom happened.

There’s not a lot of Sherlock. There were big gaps between the seasons. When a season came out, it did not explain itself or deliver on its promise at all. It is, as I’ve said, bad. But it was well made and used actors you’d heard of and was treated as being prestigious and so, when the show came out, and because people liked the idea of what it could be, fandom struck on a conspiracy:

What if this terrible show is secretly great?

And I understand the impulse. It’s heart to a lot of fandom. I can’t possibly have spent this time and energy on something I don’t like, it must be that the thing I like is secretly this thing I really like. And so scaffolding comes out to buttress the idea. We’re not taught that fandom is right – we’re taught that fandom is something that justifies itself by being right. If you have a story in your heart about a Dark Fuckprince and his soft bean injured Watson, that story is real and right, and doesn’t need the official endorsement of the BBC to be good.

Without that armour of love, though, instead the fandom turned into this endless oroborous of hostility centered around three people, who seem to just be total dickheads, great job you. This resulted in the blossoming of what was known as ‘the Johnlock Conspiracy,’ where through thousands of pages of well intentioned fumes, these fans huffed themselves into believing that Steven Moffat and Mark Gattis were secretly building up to exactly what they wanted, and they were the smartest people ever for noticing it. The lack of payoff of their beliefs and the active hostility Moffat had to their ideas and positions in person, that was all part of the conspiracy.

Oh, by the way, that idea – conspiracy – is when you have an unfalsifiable conjecture. If you can’t prove it false, no matter what, that’s when you’re dealing with a conspiracy theory.

The dramatic conclusion to all this was the series ended, their conspiracy was wrong, they theorycrafted themselves a few more months of content, and then most people let it drop.

But what if I told you there was a conspiracy?

Because there was. It just wasn’t the conspiracy they thought.

See, a conspiracy is a real thing: it’s a secret plan to do something harmful. And the BBC, since they published the work that Matt Hill described in Torchwoods Trans-Transmedia: Media Tie-Ins and Brand Fanagement, worked with the parameters of their experiment aggressively.

The idea, as I outlined in my article about Fanagement was that making the program so it could engage fans directly, and give fans feelings of creative ownership over the work would drive viewership and the kinds of engagement they liked (like, paying for things). Fanagement sought to make media ‘gifable’ – low saturation backgrounds with cuts of under a second so you could break a scene apart easily and conveniently. It wanted to make fan media easy to make, and to minimise hard declarative statements.

The lessons learned from this paper included things like ship teasing as a deliberate task – and I do mean teasing, with the idea that you had to do it in deniable and ambiguous ways. Making things definite wouldn’t get you as much fan engagement as keeping things ambiguous, because fans would make an inference based on what you show them, talk about it, then other fans would watch it again to make sure they could argue with you about it.

A mystery show like Sherlock was perfect for this kind of treatment. Treating the series as if there was some really deep, thoughtful question at the heart of it meant that there was always a reason to keep from ‘revealing’ the secret of the story, to string the audience along, like they’d believe or tolerate it, if it was all in service of a clever explanation. You get it, right? After all, we gave you all the clues.

The toxic fandom of Sherlock did not form as much as it was fostered.

A lesson from this experience, a lesson easily escaping notice, is that it’s not that ‘fandoms are all the same.’ They really aren’t. They are wildly varying in the terms of their problems and those problems root causes. What they tend to have in common is dynamics, but those dynamics are expressed in a lot of different ways. It’s not that ‘fandoms’ naturally become toxic and awful. There are fandoms that are generally, quite nice, and they tend to be that way because of the values of the central movers and shakers and the conscious willingness of people who perceive themselves as part of the fandom as taking care of it. The dynamic is the same – you have common nexuses of community that people interact with – and the kind of behaviour that’s acceptable and reasonable is filtered through them. If the idea of asking people to modify their behaviour or respect people’s boundaries is seen as unreasonable, then you can get a toxic space.

Also, as I talk about ‘toxic fandoms,’ understand toxicity is relative. There is, after all, a very real, very unironic Hitler Fandom, and they are probably one of the worst fandoms out there. Being a mean lawyer on the internet is bad, and I’ve no doubt the fandom curators known now as the Powerpuff Girls absolutely wrecked some teenagers’ lives – like, there are definitely people with, I am not joking or being hyperbolic, some PTSD triggers about (say) Tumblr or whatnot, based on the kind of social force these people were leveraging.

And then remember that holding that lever at the high end, right at the top with the most power over it was a company that made TV shows that was trying to make sure you watched their shows.

Also: The tools for doing this are available to all the companies that read the paper.

My advice? Exhort and uplift queer creators. Be positive about it, not negative. Don’t make your time about attacking other people’s dark fuckprince. Bring what you like to life, and bring that life into the light. Share and love each other, rather than find reasons to be mad at one another for how you’re all playing with toys a corporation wants you to treat with respect and only play properly. And as always, the standard you walk past is the standard you accept – so make sure your fandom circles aren’t putting up with some Powerpuff Girls.

Originally posted on my Blog.

#Sherlock #Johnlock #Fanagement #Conspiracy

[rutgera]

Hi all! New here, just finished Bridgerton and I joined here to vent my love for Benedict and the bi disaster he clearly is!

Gosh, did they queerbait us this season right? Im still annoyed and angry af about it but I really do hope that netflix and the showrunners pick up on all the feedback they are getting about it and fix it next season ASAP!

Benedict is bi and I will riot is they dont give this to the lgbt+ community!! If they dont and give him his (in my opinion really boring and repetative) cinderella like story, I dont get why they would invent the new character of Lord Granville AND make the guy gay and infuse all of that into Benedicts storyline. Because if he would just function as someone to get Benedicts bookstory going, he could have easily been straight. Or the affair of his brother could have had the same effect on him. Also Benedicts bookstory is about a love that cant happen because of class difference, and what was Anthony's storyline about this season? Exactly that! So again, it would be really repetative to do the same with Benedict right?

They made Granville gay for a reason AND they let Benedict walk in on him and his lover and show his emotional conflict after that for a reason. Benedicts was just screaming confused bisexual vibes the whole season, from his body language to his facial expressions to his interest in Granvilles love life and the way he looked at Granville every time they were together. The end where Benedict gets with the modiste really annoyed me and made me angry, because I felt like this whole season they were buildig to something beautiful with Benedict, him finding out about gay love and about his own feelings on the matter. So that he ended up with that woman really made me mad and made me feel like all of the above was just queer baiting. It that will be how this turns out I WILL BE MAD AF!

Romances between 2 men need more proper representation for a change. We get to see that far too less!

What do you think about Benedict? Will he be bisexual in future series? I think and hope he will. They could even combine it with his book story later on.

#bridgerton #benedict bridgerton #netflix #benedict #luke thompson #netflixedit #Bridgerton #Benedict Bridgerton #queer love #queer #bridgerton netflix #shondaland #shonda rhimes #chris van dusen