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thecameronchronicles · 2 years

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Jealousy

TW: Overstimulation. Smut. Language.

SUMMARY: Your jealousy gets the best of you due to Drew’s new scenes as ‘Trevor’ in Hellraiser. He sets out to prove that you’re all that matters to him.

WORD COUNT: 1100

*Requested*

Jealousy

It wasn't like he lied to you. You knew the scenes he'd filmed with her were going to be in the movie. And yet, as you wanted to support him for the accomplishment another successful film had been, you couldn't conceal your jealousy. It didn't help that nearly everyone you'd heard congratulate them had commented at how they had such undeniable chemistry. But even if you knew deep down that he and Odessa were nothing but close friends as he showed his devotion to you every chance he got, that nagging pull was enough to leave you showcasing your more immature of reactions. Ever since the credits rolled, you had iced him out and kept him at arm's length.

At first, he allowed it as he thought you'd simply get over it as he'd try to wrap himself around you from behind and you'd push your way beyond his strong arms, failing to prove his point in silent admiration. For the rest of the day, this is how you two would exist, however. Him kindly propositioning you from across some small space, only to have you act as if he wasn't there.

"Baby-" He spoke to you as he closed the bedroom door at his back, impatience already prominent for what he expected to be a continuation of this silent treatment. But as you would collect your pajamas and prepare to sleep on the couch, he kept his arm stretched at the door frame.

"You know it's part of the job...to sell the role...to tell the story" When you just turned away from him, he continued. "You've never had a problem with other scenes with other girls...and you know Dessa isn't-"

"And it's hard because I don't want to see you with anyone. It kills me-But I want to support you and not sound insecure but that was...it was too much-"

"Why does it matter when you know I love you?"

"Because you aren't like that with me."

"Like what?" His brows narrowed.

"Rough?" His own self analysis surprised you both as you paused.

"That's because I don't want to fuck you!" Your eyes sharpened tighter as his hands were quick to rise in regret and correction. "I mean, I want to make love to you. I want to take my time.. not just use you for that...But do you think THAT defines if I love you?"

"It defines if you want me..."

"If? There hasn't been a moment since we met that I haven't wanted you..." His steps moved in advancement towards you, the look behind his eyes having now taken a life all their own, almost as if he was portraying one of his roles in opposition to the caring boyfriend you'd known up until now.

"Any scene. Any girl, I picture you, so I get lost in it a bit, but it's always you. Because I love you. No matter how much you drive me crazy sometimes and how you act so immature-"

"I had to watch you grind-" He now rushed you, a hand to your jaw in collection of your attempts to speak, as he used this hold to walk you against the wall.

"You don't think I want you? You're jealous of Dessa or even Jo? Let me prove to you, you're the only one that I fucking want-" Without allowing you the chance to adjust in any capacity, his fingers had worked their eay into your pants, finding you already prepared for him. And yet, he would still work you. The sensitivity of your nerves gathered in the hood if your folds had been teased and abused by him in the past, but never with such conviction like this. Your hand wrapped around his wrist.

"Drew-"

"Do you understand now?" You nodded.

"No...I don't think you do..." Your panties and shorts were dropped in a single swoop of his hand before he would pull your leg around his hip.

"I am not going to be sure you understand until you're come is covering me-"

"Drew..."

"Head to toe, baby, we've got a lot of work to do, and we've already wasted too much time already..." He knelt before you, pulling your leg over his shoulder, before bringing you to the cusp of your orgasm embarrassingly quickly. The familiar drive of his tongue in an accelerated speed would leave him smirking to your tremors as you came for the first time across that grin.

You would be allowed only a moment to recover before being taken over his lap in a straddle then spun and positioned on all fours. Your ass left red and marked by occasional slaps followed by his thrusts that would pull you to that second orgasm as he nearly spilled over into his own having been carried away. After this, you were taken at a bend over the chair and against the wall, until you were exhausted and nearly lifeless, if not for his thrusts continuously moving you about.

"Do you...understand now...that it's YOU?" He inquired, teeth biting softly into your shoulder.

"I've had you in every position. Every angle. Made you come until you're crying-and still kept going...so do you question it now?"

"No-"

"What?"

"No! Drew...."

"Good. Now I want you to look up at me like you know drives me crazy and make me come." You obeyed with enthusiasm to know you could prove to him your own convictions as well. And so without much preparation needed, he was battering into your throat, tears and gasps an effect of his impressive cock, as you took both of his and your own taste behind the saltiness and the tang of your recent endeavors.

"Show me you know that I love you. Show me you understand..." He groaned deeply, rasps revealing his close orgasm as you nodded. Pumping him in corkscrew motions, you took him to that edge before he met with your gaze once more.

"Swallow for me?" You nodded, taking him quickly and efficiently before this would be the cessation, that firm swallow of validation.

"Now standing up-"

"I cant..." You confessed as he smirked, taking you in his arms and leading you to the bathroom.

"Now I get to take care of you this way...showing you that I love you...because I do. More every day...no matter how much you can drive me crazy..."

Taglist: @hopebaker @iovdrew @penny4yourthoughts @magnificantmermaid @pickingviolets @lovedetlost @trikigirl271 @my-baexht-ls @slut4starkey @slvtherinseeker @obxiskewl @obxxrxfes @bluesongbird @slut-era @ailee-celeste @rafesbae

#drew starkey x reader #drew starkey smut #drew starkey #drewstarkey #hellraiser 2022 #trevor hellraiser

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theladysherlock · 9 days

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talk shop tuesday! you get to talk about music a lot on your blog (and i can't help but to admire how diverse it is!). does music play a part in your artistic process? if so, is it inspired more by lyrics or the tune itself?

Haha, once again thwarted by my inability to shut up. haveyouheardthisband has been a boon to my blog, truly. The trick to having a diverse music taste is to have a friend who knows more about music than you do and will give you recommendations. This has never failed me before.

In general, I usually prefer lyrics to the melody when I'm listening to music, or at the very least I find that interesting lyrics are what turn a good song into a great song. So when I get inspired by a song to make an art piece (which is often) it's because there have been some lyrics rattling around in my head like stones in a rock tumblr.

I have lots of ideas for lyric-based drawings but I haven't quite figured out how I want to set them up, so they're on the back burner for now. I also do NOT have the patience for animatics, so I won't be making any of those anytime soon (but I have edited them before and that was a lot of fun! if anyone has any animatics ideas they want to draw but they don't want to edit them feel free to hit me up)

The two most notable song-based drawings are pieces I used to experiment with some lighting techniques. And I still really like them, so I'm going to brag a little bit. Under the cut!

[ID: A drawing of Alek from Leviathan in casual wear, looking up, shielding his eyes from the sun, and grinning at something off camera. He's in the middle of a sunny quad with a Neoclassical Building in the background]

Starting off with this drawing of Alek! This is an older piece ("older" meaning early 2021) that I still like. It was my blog banner for a loooong time and I stand by that. This drawing was the first time I used multiply and overlay layers for shading, and I wanted to play with colored highlights and shadows, and mixing hard and soft shadows. I think it worked pretty well, especially for my first attempt.

The song associated with this one was Heirloom by Sleeping At Last, which is about generational trauma and escaping cycles. I got really really emotional about the thought of Alek being truly, legitimately happy after the end of the books, which was only possible because he rejected his claim to the throne. "You are so much more than your father's son / you are so much more than the wars you've won" just rattled around nonstop in my brain, and I'm pretty sure I hid the line somewhere in the grass and then blurred it beyond all legibility.

Now that I think about it I should do a redraw of this one

[ID: a nighttime drawing of Mina, a brown-skinned Aasimar woman cuddling with Halia, a drow elf woman. Both are in their nightclothes and Halia is asleep. Mina has a concerned look on her face.]

This piece is from only a few months ago. Unlike the drawing of Alek, I didnt originally intend for it to be a lighting experiment. This was fully inspired by the song The Crow by Dessa, which is such a Mina song that I couldn't escape it. Specifically, it was inspired by the line "I can't ask you to show love / but would it kill you if you did?" I just really wanted to draw my girl visibly struggling with the mortifying ordeal of being known.

Once the main part of the drawing was done, I started playing around with the night lighting, and I got excited about the idea of showing a street light shining through and casting some shadows on the two. If I had planned it out that way originally I think I would have done some more work to make the shadows follow contours, but for a spur of the moment decision I'm really happy with it.

#talk shop Tuesday #I think I lost the thread a little bit. as is the way with these I think

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isagrimorie · 1 month

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💜 🩷 and 🤍 for the fanfic ask?

from this fanfic ask game:

💜 Purple: Name one song you're listening to while writing your next/current fanfic. How or why does it help the writing process?

Ohhh I don’t have one song, I think what I do is find either the show soundtrack or find a song that I’ve been thinking of using for a fanvid.

But also, I find myself going to Dessa songs if I need to be in an emotional moment or feel empowered for some action, currently:

youtube

And, recently Home — I know this is about writing but I’ve also been contemplating editing a vid for Voyager using this song, I am sure there’s already a vid about Voyager to this song but I kind of want to do my own version, y’know?

youtube

🩷 Pink: Do you find a certain character (or characters) easy to write? More difficult -- and if so, do you avoid writing that character (or those characters) when possible?

I think they’re all hard to write for — I really want to capture the ‘voice’ of characters i write for and that usually means I have to rewatch a show again and again (a hardship! /j).

If I don’t feel comfortable with a character’s voice that’s when I usually run into problems. Their voice and their ways of thinking.

🤍 White: What's a fanfic scenario or idea you'd like someone elseto write so that you can read it?

I was asked this earlier but I think this is the one I do want to read and not write, and its such a niche thing that I don’t think anyone but a few people would be interested. And by a few people I think that’s only less than 4 people.

And that’s a multi-chapter character and relationship exploration of a janeway/seven/chakotay relationship with Janeway as the star both Seven and Chakotay revolve around.

Both Chakotay and Seven realizing that the only reason they’re together was that because they thought they couldn’t have Kathryn Janeway. It’s solace and comfort, some love but they’re not in love with each other.

Kathryn struggling with her feelings for both Chakotay and Seven — it was easier back in Voyager because she can put both of them at arms length but now that they’re in the Alpha Quadrant?

Also, I think before Kathryn found herself in this situation, she never thought of herself as someone capable of loving two people at once.

And then the realization that the first Voyager timeline where Admiral Janeway had to live with Chakotay/Seven marrying each other — while Janeway loved both, and both Chakotay/Seven loved Janeway, and they’re in a vortex of guilt, made worse by Seven’s death. Because the reason why Chakotay was ‘never the same’ was because of guilt. Maybe because Chakotay confronted Seven with the realization that Seven was in love with Janeway (too). And it’s just bad all around, terrible for everyone. By the end of the long journey Janeway didn’t even recognize herself - and this was why Endgame was also a love story for Janeway herself because Admiral Janeway realized she’s lost herself along the way and meeting Captain Janeway she’s started loving herself again.

(Because not even Admiral Janeway is immune to Captain Janeway).

It’s a long complicated, emotionally messy story with a hopeful happy ending at the end. I doubt anyone has the spoons to write such an epic. But by god, do I wish it existed.

#writing #fanfic ask game #ask game #ask meme #star trek voyager #kathryn janeway #seven of nine #chakotay

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super-unpredictable98 · 2 years

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The Eighth Child (~TUA AU~) - Season 3

Chapter 10: Double Wedding at the End of the World (II)

Warning: Strong language, mild sexual content, mention of death

(The Eighth Child Masterlist)

Not wanting to create bad blood right before the wedding, I went in search of the boys and their bachelor party. It wasn't hard to find them as they sang (horribly, might I add) to I've Had the Time of My Life in the lobby.

"Cause I've had the time of my life and I've searched through every open door..." Klaus sang into the mic.

"Til I found the truth and I owe it all to you!" I sang and he lifted his gaze, lighting up when he saw me.

"Vicky! I thought you were having a thing with Sloane," he ran to drag me to the 'stage'.

"Well, things went a little sour after she said some stuff, so I thought it would be better to come here instead of losing my cool and hurting her again."

"Good choice," he praised, handing me a mic. "Okay, gentlemen, we have a new addition to our little soirée. Go on, pick a song."

"Well, since Ben isn't here," my voice cracked when I imagined how happy he would be for us. Underneath all that facade of disgust and mockery, he had always been supportive and wanted for us to be happy more than anything. "I'll sing a song he used to love when I would play as a kid."

"Oh, I know, I know!" Klaus joined me with his microphone to sing our duet.

"If you bring out the Ragatanga again..." Diego threatened and we laughed.

"Well, now that you mentioned we kinda have to," Viktor tried to fight a grin. "It'll be my next choice. Hope I still remember the choreography."

When that familiar melody from the song A Lenda by Sandy & Junior started playing, my eyes filled with tears. Ben was crazy for that song, he would keep it on repeat every time we put that CD on. He would be the one singing with me if it wasn't for everything that happened and took him from me.

"Bem lá no céu uma lua existe vivendo só no seu mundo triste. O seu olhar sobre a terra lançou e veio procurando por amor," I started.

"Então o mar frio e sem carinho Também cansou de ficar sozinho. Sentiu na pele aquele brilho tocar e pela lua foi se apaixonar," Klaus continued with that cute little accent of his.

While he carried on, I looked up at the mezzanine. Just as I suspected, Sparrow Ben was up there watching us with that bitter look on his face. I just knew how much he wished he was invited, but that wasn't my department, I couldn't decide for the boys.

"Hey, I can hear your thoughts," I called, hoping maybe there was a chance of him having at least a little bit of my brother in there. "If there's anything in the world that would bring the old Ben out is this, you love that song!"

"What? He's spying on us?" Luther frowned.

"Se a lenda dessa paixão faz sorrir ou faz chorar, o coração é quem sabe. Se a lua toca no mar, ela pode nos tocar pra dizer que o amor não se acabe," Klaus and I joined our voices for the chorus, and part of me truly hoped Ben would come down and be with us. Just the way he used to be, a little goody-two-shoes in the middle of us misfits. God, how I wish I could give him one last hug.

Instead, the Ben upstairs simply scoffed dismissively and left which upset me so clearly that Diego jumped from his seat, leaving his cigar behind to hold me in his arms. A hug from Diego completely unprovoked was the rarest occurrence, he must've really felt bad for me.

"Hey, I don't mind if you all do the Ragatanga after you're done," he whispered.

——————————————————

"Hey there, Vickynha," Diego rolled his eyes fondly when I opened my door. "Lila told me it's apparently the maid of honor's job to help the bride get ready, so here I am."

"Awww, you big softie! Come in, I'm almost done with my makeup, maybe you can help me close the dress and make sure the veil stays in place... So, how far along is she?"

"W-what?"

"Lila, she's pregnant. You're very excited about it, and worried, and scared."

"Two months, I can't hide anything from you with this mind reading of yours."

"You say it like you could before, I know you like the back of my hand," I got up to put the boho style dress on. "When I look at you I don't see this lone wolf vigilante everyone sees. I see my Dieguito, who is embarrassed of his stutter even though there's nothing wrong with it, who loves telenovelas even though you'll never admit it, who stabbed me in the eye a billion times."

"I don't see some lame CEO when I look at you either," Diego chuckled, clumsily buttoning up my dress. "You're just Vicky, Vicky who helps everyone and lives her life to make other people happy. Vicky who loved Stanley more than I did at first, even though he's not mine."

"He's not?" I frowned. "So he's not my nephew?"

"No, he's Lila's friend's son. She brought him here to make sure I'd be a good dad."

"Damn it, and I still love that little shit."

"Me too, him and his leaky ears that smelled like puke. He was a good kid, or tried to be."

"No matter what happens, I know you are a great dad. I'm sorry I said you weren't, you were still learning and nobody's good at something the first time they try."

Diego nodded, looking at my reflection in the mirror with tears in his eyes, but I knew he wasn't the type to cry. He simply grabbed a bunch of hairpins to stick my veil to my hair and pressed a kiss on my cheek.

"You are a beautiful bride, linda, and I'm proud of you. Even if you're a weirdo who's marrying that other weirdo... I l-l-love you and I'm so fucking happy you picked me to be your maid of honor. Te amo, Vickynha."

"Também te amo, Deiguito."

After getting ready, we both headed to the lobby. The rest of the family was already there waiting, Viktor standing on his tiptoes to cover Luther's eyes so he wouldn't see Sloane.

"Don't worry, Vicky, he can't see you either," Diego ran to cover Klaus' face while escorting him to the elevator. "We'll get to the venue and send it back up so you and Sloane can make your big entrance."

"Are you ready for this?" she asked with such a genuine grin, I couldn't be mad at her. She didn't seem upset at all about what happened earlier.

"I've been ready all my life," I took her hand while holding my little bouquet on the other and we walked into the elevator together. "You look beautiful by the way."

"So do you."

There was a ding as the doors closed and a few seconds later another ding as they opened. Everyone was waiting, staring in anticipation until a unison gasp took me by surprise.

"Oh my God, Schnucki, you look perfect," Klaus breathed in awe. For a second he looked like a little boy, that little boy who I asked to kiss once when we were nine. That same look of wonder on his face, the same devoted eyes that melted my heart. That made me, more than anything, sure he loved me. "Like an angel."

"You look like a fairytale prince," I cried.

"Let's get this over with before I die of cringe," Ben said, watching Luther admire his fiancé with the same loving eyes, unable to say a single word.

The chairs and the flower arch were waiting outside on the patio. Klaus took his place as the groom while Luther and Sloane sat to wait for their turn, Five stood under the arch with an unreadable look of admiration? Disgust? Cynicism?

Diego locked arms with me and we slowly made our way down the aisle in silence, all the words he had for me were said when I was getting ready.

Finally, he gave me away and I couldn't even believe that was actually happening. A childhood dream, a crush that became pure love, a feeling so strong that persevered through everything. Two apocalypses and a half later, I still loved my Klausie just like I used to when I was a girl.

"Family, friends, and the ones in between," Five started, looking between the two of us. "We are gathered here today to celebrate the love between Klaus Hargreeves and Victoria Maria Hargreeves. This sick, perverted infatuation started from something as innocent as a little boy consoling a little girl after her father yelled at her for not having any powers. A little girl defending a little boy when his brothers would tease him for being different. All I can say is that love is very hard to find and I know better than anyone, sometimes it comes from the most unlikely sources, but it's still love nonetheless. What these two have is a one in a million, once in a lifetime bond that everybody wants, but very few are able to find. So tonight instead of brother and sister, I'd like to address two juvenile lovers."

"Who you calling juvenile?" I murmured with a giggle.

"Klaus Hargreeves, do you take this stubborn, childish, incredibly smart, beautiful, and tough young lady as your wife to love and cherish for as long as you shall live?" Five asked.

"I do," he wiped his tears and took my right hand to switch the engagement ring to my left.

"Victoria Maria Hargreeves, do you take this idiot with zero self-control, who is also a kindhearted, strong-willed, resilient man as your husband to love and cherish for as long as you shall live?"

"I do," I said those words I've been waiting decades to say while I also switched the side of his ring.

"Then by no power vested in me, I declare you husband and wife" Five nodded. "You may kiss the bride, above the neck, please. Everyone, a round of applause for Mr. and Mrs. Hargreeves."

Klaus giggled with excitement as he pulled me closer for that long-awaited kiss, our first kiss as a married couple. He was mine, really mine until death would do us part. Then I'd obviously have to remarry him in the afterlife so we can spend the rest of eternity making up for lost time.

"I love you," he purred.

"I love you too," I took his hand and we took Five's place as the officiants. "Luther and Sloane, will you two bring your asses here? As the prophet and prophetess of Destiny's Children, I think we have the power to do this."

——————————————————

I've got you under my skin

I've got you, deep in the heart of me

So deep in my heart that you're really a part of me

I've got you under my skin

We couldn't choose another song to be our first dance. That same song we danced many years ago at Allison's wedding, that dance that was burned in my memory as one of the last happy nights of my life before I managed to fuck everything up.

"So, is it like you imagined?" Klaus asked, swaying me gently.

"No, but it's what I have and I'm glad it's with you. Anything with you is perfect."

"If we get out of this one, I'll make sure we have the wedding you deserve, Mrs. Hargreeves. And if we don't, I'll still do it, but our mothers will be there too. And Ben, and your friends from the strip club, and Stan, and your friend from the store, and Dave! It's gonna be great, you'll see."

"You're such a good husband, what did I do to deserve you?"

"Hey, that's my line. We're all about to die and I'm the happiest I've ever been, all because of you... Thank you for not giving up on me. When everyone saw me as a junkie, a nuisance, you knew I could be better."

"Thank you for not giving up on me after I abandoned you. I was a coward and there's not one day I don't regret wasting those five years away from you."

As the song came to an end, Chet took our picture and I went straight to the buffet to get some of that eggplant lasagna and whatever else I could find. After going so long without eating, I was starving.

Klaus told me he would join me soon, he had to 'talk to some people' first.

"Do you mind, young lady?" Reggie stood next to me with a plate full of deviled eggs and grapes.

"Not at all, sit down. We can have our dance soon, after the speeches," I suggested.

"I would be honored," he stared deep into my eyes while cutting the eggs with a knife and fork. "You are so strong, Victoria. Even with all that heavy training, you are still here."

"Um... Thank you?"

"Make sure you eat well, go on. Get some more food, you need it."

Did he also think I was too thin? I had no idea I looked that unwell before. It was the 60s, everyone on tv was unhealthily skinny, that's why Twiggy became so popular later that decade.

"I will, let me just rescue my husband first, he's up to no good, I can tell," I took my plate and grabbed a piece of cheese that I could eat on the go before rushing to the table where Ben was sitting alone with Klaus.

"I am so much better than that other Ben, I was Number One twice! Does dad give a shit? No, he was too busy hanging out with you and your sister bride!"

"Hey there, buddy, let's not go there right? Don't tarnish the memory of my brother like that or I'll be forced to kick your ass," I smiled. "You try too hard to be dad's favorite, we're all fuck ups, the sooner you embrace that, the sooner you'll be part of the family. Now, what are you doing here, Klaus?"

"I was talking to Ben-ihana here about dad's plan to save the universe."

"Can you stop preaching for our dad just for tonight and spend time with your wife instead? How about that? Maybe you can even have fun with our family without trying to brainwash them for a few hours."

"Yeah, you're right, I'm sorry. I'll grab some food and we can feed each other like we used to do."

That night was a bit of a disaster. Ben and Five were drunk beyond all recognition which made for the funniest speech of the night, Allison left early after a fight with Viktor, and Reggie gave the weirdest speech I've ever heard about death and how we were about to face it, before dancing the worst version of the song I picked because no one could find that beautiful acoustic cover.

But still, it was the best night of my life and nothing could take that away from me, I was married to my first and only love and that was enough.

After dad left, we all reunited on the patio to look at what was left of the stars. I skipped outside after a quick visit to the lost and found carrying an old violin and gave it to Viktor, looking expectantly at him.

"I thought since it's a special occasion you could play something for us."

"Me? I haven't done this so long, it feels like ages," Viktor shook his head with a laugh.

"Please, please, please! It's my wedding gift!"

"Fine, what do you want? Just remember the last time I did it, the world ended."

"The world is already ending, so... Surprise me?"

"Are you still a die-hard fan of Green Day?" he asked, quickly tuning the violin.

"Is the Pope Catholic? Well... was Catholic."

Viktor started playing what had to be the saddest rendition of Good Riddance and I couldn't help but notice the way he just seemed so at ease, even after the fight with Allison. The violin was still his refuge. When there were no powers, when there was no one, he had the violin. And it was by the violin that the world ended once, but that doesn't mean it's a bad thing, it just means that it makes him more powerful.

I missed hearing him play, it brought memories from when I would watch him practice as a kid and the one time I got to watch his recital, even though he was third chair. I thought my brother was the most brilliant musician in that theater and I was so incredibly proud of him.

"That was beautiful!" Ben cried. "Oh my God!"

"Is he okay?" I asked Klaus quietly.

"I'm fine! I'm the new new Ben! I'm trying my best to not try my best."

"You have no idea how much I love my Ben, my brother Ben. I love him with all my heart and you'll never know how much it hurts to see you and hear you being such a dick when all I wanted was to give you a hug," I admitted.

"C'mere! Bring it in!" he wrapped his arms around me with a grunt. "I bet he loved you too as much as you love him."

"Thank you," I murmured, taking Klaus' champagne glass. "This is perfect, even with this weird orange sky and all."

"Hey, maybe don't. You've had enough," my husband took the glass back. "How about some water?"

"What? Klaus Hargreeves telling me to stop drinking? I only had a couple of glasses," I grimaced.

"Yeah, but you're a lightweight, and I want you completely conscious for our wedding night. I bought us a little gift before the entire world was blitzed."

"Oh, what is it?" I bit my lip, having a feeling I knew what he was about to say.

"A strap-on so you can finally..."

"Okay! How about you save that talk for the bedroom?" Luther shouted before he could finish. "Don't ruin it, tonight is all I ever really wanted. Everybody coming together when it really matters, one big real family."

That heartfelt confession might've been too much for Five, because he started gagging and I looked away. Klaus wrapped one arm around me, rubbing my shoulder soothingly.

"Maybe it's time for us to leave?" he suggested before my anxiety took the best of me. "It's getting late and I really wanna try that strap-on. Don't worry though, I'll take care of you first, Mrs. Hargreeves. Good night everyone."

"Congratulations, lovebirds!" Lila called. "Maybe we should call it a night too."

"Good night guys," I waved them goodbye, hoping the next morning they would all still be there, just like the way we left them.

#umbrella academy fanfic #umbrella academy klaus #umbrella academy #tua #tua klaus #tua fanfic #klaus hargreeves #klaus hargreeves x oc #fanfic #robert sheehan character fic #robert sheehan fanfic

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navstuffs · 2 years

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Headcanons of someone making fun of Adrian's s/o accent

Masterlist of my Adrian Chase's fanfics here.

Pairing: Adrian Chase x Bilingual!Reader

Summary: Someone decides to make fun of your accent; just Adrian kicking some xenophobic's ass.

Warnings: xenophobia, some violence

Authors note: this fanfic is for my bilingual people ❤ if anyone ever made fun of your accent, don't let that stop you! I plan on translating this piece into my maternal language as well. Versão traduzida em português dessa fanfic.

You and Adrian were just having a date night at the bar. Adrian was mentioning he wanted to get Peacemaker's signature tattoed in his belly.

"I thought you already had one."

"Not yet. Resolution for this year, baby!"

"What is next? Chris's face in your asscheek?"

Two chairs ahead, three guys had been laughing at you all night, especially while you spoke. Adrian didn't seem to have noticed anything, but your stomach shifted uncomfortably every time they would stare at you.

Your voice was loud, your accent was strong but you spoke English just fine. Since you moved to the US, some assholes that would make fun of or pretend they didn't understand what you said to frustrate you.

When you met Adrian, one of the first things he fell in love with you was your accent. He used to love when you got angry, you would blast profanities in your primary language. He learned two or three words he would constantly use

In Adrian's opinion: "Your accent was the sexiest thing I ever heard" and "You should whisper in your maternal language into my ear allll the time."

When you told Adrian people would make fun of your accent when you first arrived, he couldn't believe it.

"I don't get it. There are funnier things to make fun of, like when people fall from stairs and break some bones. That is funny to laugh"

So when one of the men laughing at you got up, incredibly drunk, and sit on the vacant chair at your side, you weren't so surprised to hear:

"Excuse me, but where did you learn to speak English like that? It sounds all wrong in your weird-ass ugly accent."

You grabbed your beer bottle, swallowing everything at once, not looking at the man. Adrian watched him, his forehead wrinkling, stumped.

"Don't get me wrong, I appreciate you trying but this is America and you should speak English better as we do. If you understand what I am saying? Try harder?"

If you paid attention, you would have seen Adrian slowly taking his glasses off but you were busy, replying in your maternal language. The asshole laughed louder, smirking at his friends and looking back at you.

"So what does this all blah blah blah meant?"

"I don't have to translate anything to you. But I will to my boyfriend. I said: go to hell, you xenophobic prick."

Xenophobic One stared at you with pure anger, as you turned your glance away from him. He opened his mouth but was met with Adrian's fist on his mouth. You caught the exact moment as two or three teeth jumped out of the man's mouth as he fell to the ground, screaming in pain.

His other friend ran to help him, trying to knock down your boyfriend. Adrian got up from his chair, dodging the punch, kicking him on the belly, hard enough for him to follow his friend into the floor. He tried to get up but was hit by Adrian again, choosing to stay on the floor this time

The third one lifted his hands, surrendering as he helped his two friends get up. You asked the bartender for another round as Adrian stared as the two men were being taken away, Xenophobic One's mouth bleeding. When they finally left, Adrian sit again at your side, resting comfortably. You hid your smile, Adrian putting his glasses back into his face.

You hit your beer bottle back with Adrian and drink at his sake. It was nice having him defend you. You nuzzled close to Adrian, whispering in his ear.

"You looked so badass kicking those xenophobic's ass, Vigilante. I will be sure to reward you tonight"

Adrian's face went red as a tomato.

#adrian chase fanfics #adrian chase imagine #adrian chase x reader #adrian chase x you #adrian chase #peacemaker #peacemaker fanfics #vigilante x reader #vigilante x you #vigilante #vigilante fanfics #vigilante imagines #DO NOT MESS WITH ADRIAN S/O #HE WILL RECK THEM

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orangepanic · 2 years

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The Irosami Playlist is Here!

I've had some requests in the past for my Irosami playlist (okay, really just @middleofnowhere92, but I'm pretending this has broad appeal) and finally found time to compile it. I have several playlists organized by fic/AU, so it took a little rejiggering to put together a broader list for the ship as a whole. But here we go!

Possession - Sarah McLaughlin And I would be the one To hold you down Kiss you so hard I'll take your breath away And after I'd, wipe away the tears

Mayores - Becky G. & Bad Bunny I like a gentleman who is interesting That is a good friend, but a better lover What does a few extra years matter?

Chase This Light - Jimmy Eat World Because right now, I don't dare to breathe Oh, babe, I know, it's alive and somewhere for us to find Tonight, oh chase this light with me

At My Most Beautiful - R.E.M. I count your eyelashes secretly With every one, whisper, "I love you" I let you sleep

Please Forgive Me - David Gray Please forgive me If I act a little strange For I know not what I do Feels like lightning Running through my veins Every time I look at you

Green Eyes - Coldplay Green eyes You're the one that I wanted to find And anyone who tried To deny you must be out of their minds

Kärleken Väntar - Kent I know that you are worth something You're the hope in an IQ-free land You're the dreams that I dream sometimes Doesn't it feel like love waits?

Paparazzi - Lady Gaga Promise I'll be kind But I won't stop until that boy is mine Baby, you'll be famous Chase you down until you love me

What Lovers Do - Hand Habits Halfway with your hands into the fire of my desire But don’t you want to be allowed? Don't you want to be allowed?

Fearless - Matthew Good Band You are the only one I miss You are the only answer at a time like this She is the trick of my trade She is the thing that can't be made She is gold and nothing less And she is fearless

Feeling a Moment - Feeder Bury the ashes of someone Broken by the strain Trying to fill that space inside Am I just like you?

I Wanna Be There - Blessed Union of the Souls Cause you got so much to give But you throw it all away And all you got to show for who you are is pain And I've got so much to give If you'd only let me in I'm gonna take this time to show that I'm a friend You'll believe in love again

Plus my "theme songs" for each of them:

Asami: The Bullpen - Dessa It's been assumed I'm soft or irrelevant 'Cause I refuse to down play my intelligence But in a room of thugs and rap veterans Why am I the only one Who's acting like a gentleman?

Iroh: One - Sleeping At Last The list goes on forever Of all the ways I could be better, in my mind As if I could earn God's favor, given time Or at least congratulations

Got suggestions for songs to add? Let me know!

Art by wanda-soulmeetbody

#irosami #iroh ii #asami sato #song rec #theme song #tlok #obviously these cater to my taste in music

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wiseabsol · 3 years

Note

Comet- What are you currently frustrated about? Galaxy- Do you have any nicknames? What are they? Star- What song(s) do you feel describes you? Mercury- Describe your aesthetic. Saturn- How far would you go for those you care about? Constellations- If you could have one talent, what would you want it to be? (can be magical or not) Aquarius- What's a topic you enjoy learning about?

Comet- What are you currently frustrated about?

Hm, I guess the lack of writing and editing that I've been doing lately, because I've carved out time for it (I have weekends again). I usually have appointments on my weekends or get distracted by other things, though, like gardening and housecleaning.

Galaxy- Do you have any nicknames? What are they?

Kitty when I was a child, Abby as a diminutive from my fanfic pen-name.

Star- What song(s) do you feel describes you?

Oh gosh, I don't know. I know what my song aesthetics are, though--lots of piano and strings, with some wistful/melancholic singing over them. Dessa's "Into the Spin" and Ryan Star's "Losing Your Memory" fit perfectly.

Mercury- Describe your aesthetic.

Shelves filled with books, lilac flowers, cups with hot drinks (tea, coffee, hot cocoa), and a cat snoozing on a blanket.

Saturn- How far would you go for those you care about?

I think it's hard to say how far you'd go for someone until that gets tested? Sending someone care packages to make them feel better? Done. Lending out money and my belongings? Done. Traveling to go see them? Done. If you mean things like committing felonies and/or murder for them? No idea! Things would have to be pretty desperate for that.

Constellations- If you could have one talent, what would you want it to be? (can be magical or not)

Oh, shapeshifting for sure. I would love to be able to fly and swim in the ocean for long distances. Plus, who wouldn't want to hang out as a housecat for a day or two?

Aquarius- What's a topic you enjoy learning about?

I enjoy learning about different cultures, religions, mythologies, and their histories. Tracing the lineage of literary tropes is also fun!

#Ask response #spinarakshorts

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mypearchive · 3 years

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PHILIP ETTINGER  in HBO Series I Know This Much Is True

 PHOTOGRAPHY Mark Squires FASHION EDITOR Deborah Ferguson  Interview by Sydney Nash

 Philip Ettinger is an American actor, whose credits include starring alongside Ethan Hawke and Amanda Seyfried in “First Reformed” and “The Evening Hour,” which debuted at this year’s Sundance Film Festival. Ettinger’s most recent project is HBO’s “I Know This Much is True,” helmed by director Derek Cianfrance and starring Mark Ruffalo. Based on Wally Lamb’s acclaimed novel by the same name, it tells the story of the complicated relationship of two brothers (twins), one of which lives with paranoid schizophrenia. Ruffalo stars as the older iteration of the twins, while Ettinger inhabits the two characters in their youth. ContentMode spoke to the actor about the limited series and arguably, his best performance yet.

 Q: Before we dive into questions about I Know This Much Is True, I must first say, bravo. This show is visceral, heart-wrenching, and achingly beautiful. It was a very emotional experience watching, I must say. I’m curious as to the type of feedback you’ve been hearing from viewers and the people around you about the show.

 A: Thanks for saying that. This project is so close to my heart. It felt super emotional shooting it… it’s been really special. You know we’re going through such a fucking crazy time right now. You make a thing and have that whole experience of shooting it, and then you never really know how it might connect in the time of when it’s finally released. When I’m working on something, I’m so much in the state of not even thinking of it as being a product. Then, when it’s time for it to come out, it’s a bit of a mind fuck and scary. And this in particular was such a vulnerable experience. Everyone gave so much of their heart to it. It’s being released in a really crazy and heavy time, and the show deals with a lot of real and heavy things. But what’s been amazing is the people who have reached out to me to tell me how important it’s been to them. And how much of an emotional balm it’s been. People have vulnerably shared with me how this show has made them feel less alone in their own unique situations and emotions. Honestly, it’s been fucking beautiful to see how much we all can relate and share in the really difficult work of being a human being.

 We’re all connected. It’s been a nice reminder for me personally in this isolating time of quarantine.

 Q: Tell me about how this role came about. I know you’ve been a long admirer of Mark Ruffalo’s work, so this must have been a dream project.

 A: The whole thing just feels kind of kismet. One day, I get a random email from a friend of mine who was going in to audition for young Dessa (younger Kathryn Hahn). This was before I really knew anything about it. She forwarded me her appointment with the script and said, “You should be young Dominick/Thomas.” All of young Dessa’s scenes were with young Dominick/Thomas, so I was able to see what it was like.

 I’ve always looked up to Mark and have been compared to him in the past. I even wrote him a letter when I was in acting school and doing This Is Our Youth, which was the play he did in New York, and I expressed to him how much I connect to his work. He was doing Awake and Sing! on Broadway at the time and I went to see the play and gave him the letter. On top of that, I grew up with a brother who dealt with schizophrenic symptoms. I felt a really strong purpose to tell this story as real and accurately as possible. It’s rare when it happens, but sometimes things come along where it’s much deeper than it just being a job. The purpose for doing it is so strong and instinctual that I’m able to move through any fears or insecurities to do it. I went into this audition with a really strong sense that I was the person who was meant to help tell this story.

 Q: Did you and Mark ever prep for the role together? I’ve read that you and him took a long walk around the Upper West Side before shooting started.

 A: Yeah we did. The way it worked was Mark shot all of Dominick first and then took a month and a half off to gain about 50 pounds in order to play Thomas. During that time off is when I shot most of my stuff. We would text back and forth with ideas and before shooting began we hung out and read each other’s scenes together. Then Mark went off to shoot his Dominick side. Derek Cianfrance our director showed me a bunch of Mark’s dailies for me to kind of get a sense of what Mark was doing with Dominick, but when it came to Thomas, I was the first one to introduce what he’d be like. It was fucking scary because I wanted to be as instinctual as possible and to make my own unique choices. At the same time, I didn’t want to paint Mark into a corner because he’d have to evolve whatever I was doing into older Thomas.

About a week before I went to shoot, I met Mark on the Upper West Side at a diner. We talked for hours. I had been waiting in the wings for months, getting ready to take over when he took his break. I can be a pretty obsessive thinker, so at that point, I was pretty much bursting holding these two distinctly different characters inside of me, ready to express myself and let my Dominick and Thomas out. At the same time, I was absolutely terrified because the thing I’d been obsessing about and literally having intense symbolic dreams about was finally going to happen. Mark encouraged me to make it my own, and on the way out of the diner, I started to tell him about these crazy and intense dreams I was having that were kind of informing me who these guys were. He said, “I’ve been having dreams too. Let’s take a walk,” and then we just walked like 50 city blocks. We were just meshing our energies, ideas and physicalities, as well as sharing stories and quickly connecting on a really vulnerable level to each other. We were having very similar dreams. It was crazy and beautiful and a night I’ll always remember. Talking about it now makes me yearn to get back into more collaborative experiences again.

 Q: If you don’t mind me asking, how emotionally intense was performing the roles of both Dominick and Thomas? Did you find one character more challenging than the other and were you able to separate the two performances, or were they always informing the other?

A: It’s hard to really describe it using words. The whole thing was one big instinctual and emotional experiment. It was kind of impossible to anticipate the best way to make it all work.

First day was completely trial and error. Mark shot each character separately with a lot of time apart, but I was having to do every scene going back and forth. The whole thing was very out of body and cathartic. Or more like in my body and out of my head.

 It’s interesting, I’ve been doing therapy in quarantine and have worked a bit with childhood regression exercises and going back to a time when I was four or five. I’ll go back on impulse and really connect to the feelings I was feeling without too much awareness of social rules and insecurities and ideas of how I needed to be and act. Then, doing the same thing, but going back to the thirteen year old version of me, who at that point had been knocked around a bit and was very insecure and shut down and scared and had less trust and freedom of emotion. Both of them are very alive inside of me. Shooting every scene, I’d be Dominick and feel really repressed and kind of locked up and angry and insecure in my feelings. Then when I’d switch over to Thomas, I got to rip off the shield and filter that I’ve created to personally protect myself in my life and just feel my feelings and pain and fear and anger and fully be on my impulse in a safe environment. It was freeing and painful and blissful, and all of the feelings. I gave myself permission not to judge myself. Then, I’d go back into Dominick and the shield went back up. It was a lot of back and forth of that.

 Honestly, it’s impossible to really explain it in retrospect. It was like one giant therapeutic experiment. It definitely changed me and gave me some different perspectives.

 Q: Did you ever feel like your acting influenced Mark’s performance or vice versa?

 A: It felt like one ongoing collaboration. We were taking from each other from the preparation through the shooting. But there was an ease to it all, which just shows how generous Mark is as a human being and artist. He didn’t have to invite me in the way he did. I’m very grateful for that.

 Q: What was it like working with director Derek Cianfrance? Did Derek allow you to bring your own experiences and POV to your characters?

 A: Derek is my emotional soul brother. The guy has so much fucking heart and just sets up an atmosphere of trust and love and challenges you to go deeper than any ideas you may have and to find the truth of every moment. He wants you to bring all of your heart and soul to the part. He’s done so much work and has thought so deeply about the characters and the scenes, but then challenges and almost expects you to surprise him. It’s all about, as he says, ‘trying to capture Halley’s Comet in every scene.’ Something that’s straight from impulse and truth and surprising and spontaneous and can never be exactly recreated. It’s all a big experiment and diving into the truth of every dynamic and relationship.

That’s exactly the way I love to work, so it was just a fucking dream to play like that. 

But in order to work at that level, you need to have such trust in the leader and it needs to be such a safe environment. With Derek, I just felt so safe.

 Q: Tell me a little bit about how filming two characters on-screen at the same time worked. How much of what the audience sees when Dominick and Thomas are together is CGI?

 A: It’s crazy. The editing is incredible. Other than a few connecting shots, many of the scenes the two brothers are never in the same shot together. I think Derek wanted to make it feel as natural and un-CGI as possible, so he relied on the performances to connect the dots. The response has been that it feels pretty seamless and not a distraction, which is great to hear. We all definitely tried to avoid the trick of it all and really cared about making each brother his own three dimensional being.

 Q: The show was shot on film as compared to digitally. What’s the difference that shooting on film makes to the final product and the audience experience?

 A: It’s awesome. It was my first time shooting on film. There’s a heightened intensity to it all, because there’s a limited amount of time before the film rolls out. It’s exciting. I tend to work best and am able to commit more when adrenaline is a little higher and there’s a little more pressure. There’s also something more tactile about it all. It feels more activated and felt like we were shooting a movie instead of a TV show.

 Q: I’ve read in other interviews where you’ve spoken about how your relationship with your own brother (who has a history with schizophrenic symptoms) influenced your performance. Can you tell me a little bit about this (if you don’t mind sharing)? How important was authenticity to you?

 A: My brother is doing great now. It’s amazing. But there was a long time when I was growing up where he was suffering. I watched him struggle through a lot of thoughts and emotions inside of his head. On the flip side, he was probably the most honest, empathetic and connected-to-the-energy-around-him person that I knew. And has deeply affected how I see things in a really special way. I also watched my parents try and understand and protect and deal with it and help. And do the best that they possibly could under the circumstances. They were amazing. But I also watched them struggle and make questionable decisions in order to help in the only ways they knew how. I was also having my own experience.

 What was so important to me about this show was to be able to express all sides of the situation and the nuance to it all. Often, when there’s mental illness in a family, everyone is doing the best that they can with the tools that they have. Sometimes the “crazy” one is the most tapped in and actually present and intuitive and available. Sometimes the ones, who on the surface have their shit together, have no idea what they are doing.

 I think this was a way for me to express myself and better understand what repressed feelings I had having a brother with mental illness. One thing’s for certain: I don’t think anyone involved was interested in anything but navigating the truths and realities of these situations.

 Q: Based on your own experiences with your brother, the director Derek added in a scene to one of the episodes. Can you elaborate on what this scene was?

 A: Yeah, I told Derek a bunch of stories about me and my brother. There was a period of time when he was around 22 and in the midst of a mental break. I was around 9, and we shared a room. Some of the stories were scary, but a lot of them were really funny and beautiful. I observed my brother be so present and tapped in to the energy and people around him. Sometimes his thoughts would get away from him, but almost always, the impulse of the thought and the intuition he would have was so on point. It made me feel like he was often more present and truthful and sane than so many other people around me who seemed to be repressing, overlooking and complying to the rules of society and the pressures of fitting in and saying and doing the right and popular thing. I felt like he really took me in and saw me better than anyone else.

 I told Derek about how often my brother’s energy felt so expansive and truthful to his feelings that it would be infectious to the people around him and magical to me. And then Derek added a scene in episode 4 where Thomas is feeling a lot of emotions and the best way he’s able to express himself is through unadulterated dance. It’s a moment that Dominick watches on and knows he’d never be able to be so free in his emotions to express himself like that. [Derek] told me he added that scene inspired by the stories I told him about my brother.

 Q: At its core, the show is about the relationship between two brothers, but the show touches on so many different enduring themes. What about the story speaks most strongly to you?

 A: We’re all trying to get through life in the best ways that we know how. We all have unique family situations, life expectations, and struggles and pains on different levels. The show and Wally Lamb’s novel just touches on what it’s like to be human and the possibility for growth and change when it may feel like it’s impossible. As he says, “But what are our stories if not the mirrors we hold up to our fears.” And another quote that seems to resonate more than ever: “With destructions comes renovations.”

 Q: You must be very proud of this show and the reception it’s receiving. How did you feel seeing the finished product?

 A: It feels a little surreal to watch. It’s hard for me to fully take in my own stuff or to judge it good and bad, but what I will say is that there’s so much heart in the show and I’m forever proud and grateful to be a part of it. And to watch Mark and Rosie and Kathryn and John and Melissa and Archie and everyone else and feel so connected to them. And to have my family watch it and have it inspire new conversations between us. It feels very healing in a lot of ways.

 Q: Moving forward, what types of roles are you hoping to pursue? What’s the most important aspect of a project to you?

 A: I don’t really know. I want to continue to work with people who inspire me and to feel a purpose with what I’m doing beyond ego and expectation. And to keep doing stuff that really scares me and to ultimately just find things that will help me evolve and gain some different perspectives. To continue to do things that make me feel connected and out of my own head.

I’ve been lucky to be a part of a few things where everyone involved is connected and on the same page and doing it for the right reasons, and the material is strong and every once in a while, when all those stars are aligned you can have moments of transcendence absent of ego and fear and judgement and you’re just riding on your impulse and intuition and heart. I want to keep chasing that.

 Q: With the world in the midst of a pandemic and social unrest, what are you most hopeful for?

 A: How connected we all really are even though the world feels divided right now. There’s so much pain and fear and anger right now, but there’s also a lot of change happening. And beauty. If there’s any silver lining to all of this loss, pain and suffering, I think it’s that it’s forced us to be more present with our families and loved ones. And maybe break some habits that we’d never be able to break on our own. And slowed things down a bit. And forced us all to look inward and to take a pause from all the fast and constant external validation so many of us think we want or need. I’ve witnessed thousands of people coming together to support each other and to stand up to injustice. This time has been traumatic on many levels for everyone, and I’m sure there will be long term effects of that, but also I’m excited to see the positive effects and positive changes this time may cause. In a way, it felt like we needed a bit of a reset and recalibration to really make some changes.

Quick Qs

 Q: If you weren’t an actor, what would you be?

A: Maybe a therapist? I’m endlessly fascinated in why people do what they do and how they do it. And don’t do things. And why. And the relationship between our conscious and unconscious bodies and minds. And the potential of evolving our thought patterns past or through our blocks and pain and traumas. I’ve also spent a lot of time working one-on-one with autistic kids and adults, so maybe that. Something to do with human behavior and connection and growth and expression. Or if I was taller and more athletically gifted, it would be pretty damn cool to be an NBA basketball player.

 Q: Role model?

 A: Literally anyone who’s able to get through life with continued kindness, open-heartedness, positivity and evolution.

Q: Pet peeve?

A: People giving advice to other people based on what they would want or how they would act or react, instead of taking in the other person’s perspective.

Q: Most slept-on movie?

 A: This is not particularly slept on, but this conversation and question is making me think of The Devil and Daniel Johnston.

 Q: The last thing you binged?

 A: I’m a novice TV watcher. This past year and during quarantine is the first time I’ve really caught up on shows. Recently I’ve gone through Mad Men, The Affair – Maura Tierney’s so good in that. I just watched Normal People. I thought Paul Mescal was such a subtle and good actor in that. Oh, and In Treatment. I love In Treatment. I just heard that they may be bringing it back, which is exciting to hear. The nuances of two people in a room talking for a long time really does it for me.

 Q: Dream role?

 A: Hamlet? Even though that scares the shit out of me and seems to be a cliche’d answer for an actor my age.

Q: What’s the best advice you’ve ever received?

 A: To try easier. It’s not necessarily the amount of time spent working, but more the quality and headspace of that time.  Also, to stop trying to control the outcome of what and how I think I want something to go. Because guaranteed it won’t go exactly as planned and trying to force what I think is the best thing is quantifying and limiting the possibilities of what it could be.  And something that I saved that Mark actually said to me:  Hang tough, stay real, make your shots count when you get them and no matter what, keep moving. Just keep moving.

 _______________________________________________ 

For remaining photographs from the Content Mode article, scroll down to the next post.

 (I am archiving this entire article here, because I have no idea whether or not the Content Mode site will continue to host the Ettinger interview in the future, as more is published there in time. No copyright infringement is intended.)

#philip ettinger #i know this much is true #iktmit #mark ruffalo #derek cianfrance #first reformed

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themulberrytree · 4 years

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character sheet.

full name: Shallan Davar pronunciation: Sha-Lahn Dah-var (fuck IPA i am not doing that shit again)

nicknames: strong one (by hoid), love, dear (by adolin), storming woman (mostly by kaladin)

height: 5′6″ age: 19/20 (rosharan years) / 21-22 (earth years) zodiac: gemini (donut ask me when her bday is i donut have a date yet) languages: (spoken/written): veden (native), alethi, azish, selay (moderate skill in speaking only) thaylen (reading/writing only).

PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS.

hair colour: rich, deep red, only red. eye colour: bright blue skin tone: shallan is very fair, though she spends as much time in the sun as she can, so her face is dusted with freckles. body type: slim and slender. unlike the curvaceous body type often seen on alethi women, shallan is much smaller both in figure and stature. she could be mistaken for delicate, at first glance. as she spends more time training with her blade, her body becomes much more defined and muscular, but she will never achieve any kind of bulky muscles, she simply does not have the body type.

accent: her natural veder accent would be considered low, given shallan’s isolation out in the countryside. she can speak in a more posh (re: acceptable) accent, but she has little reason to do so. dominant hand: right posture: shallan has the posture of a perfect vorin lady, back straight and shoulders back at all times. when sitting, her freehand always covers her safehand, placed delicately in her lap unless she is sketching. when walking, her hands are clasped in front of her. she is rarely animated in her posture when speaking, and depending on her company, she works hard to blend in. when alone, shallan may slouch when studying, or do her work in a very unlady like fashion on her bed. if she trusts her present company, they may witness this lapse in acceptable posture, but only if she trusts them.

CHILDHOOD.

place of birth: jah kaved hometown: some hick town in the middle of the countryside. birth weight / height: 6 pounds, 3 ounces. 18 inches. manner of birth: natural first words: pa siblings: (all elder, all brothers) helaran, balat, twins: wikim and jushu parents: lin davar, and an unnamed mother, malise davar (step mother), all deceased. parental involvement: shallan remembers a somewhat happy childhood (although the likelihood of that being the case is up for debate). her mother taught her how to draw, and was in charge of shallan’s education in the early years. much of her early years have been forgotten due to the trauma of shallan’s witnessing (see: committing) her mother’s murder. she did not speak at all for half a year afterwards. from that point on, her father became overbearing, and with each year he was less of the man shallan had first known. he was violent towards two of her brothers and the servants, often scaring away tutors, so shallan’s education in those critical years was sporadic at best. her father demanded complete obedience, and any deviation on her part meant that a servant got beaten in her place. in order to spare them and placate her father, shallan worked hard to draw little attention to herself and obey. it was her father who also chose her devotary (purity) rather than her having the opportunity to choose for herself.

ADULT LIFE

occupation: she is the ward of jasnah kholin, having managed to convince the woman she was worthy of wardship at seventeen. after being taken in, shallan begins her education in scholarship, fine tuning her skills in making logic based arguments, study, and critical thinking.

on the shattered plains, she secures work with highprince sebarial as a clerk while maintaining the work in finding urithiru that she started with jasnah, and working to infiltrate the secret group known as the ghostbloods.

she latter assumes a more public role as a knight radiant, the first of the order of lightweavers in centuries. while her status as a radiant is known, she works very hard to keep her work covert. she deals in spywork and information, and uses her lightweaving to form disguises for herself and associates. she has also used her abilities to battle unmade, work oathgates, and help run reconnaissance in kholinar.

as highprincess, her duties would include helping manage affairs of the realm and detecting intrigue to better aid her husband.

close friends: lmafo what are those????? jk, her brothers, later adolin, renarin, kaladin, jasnah (sort of, more teacher/student) wit/hoid (when he’s around). relationship status: verse dependent, married to adolin kholin in canon financial status: her family is destitute, and shallan herself has little experience in personally handling money. that being said, she knows how to balance finances and plan expenses. when working for sebarial, she manages to secure a comfortable pay from him, her later marriage secures her financial security, though her status as a radiant could’ve done that too. driver’s license: she could probably drive, but would be terrible at it due to the fact that she’d keep lookin out the window. she has little experience on horseback, but can manage. criminal record: technically none yet, having managed to get away with murder twice. she had also stolen successfully from jasnah kholin.

SEX & ROMANCE.

sexual orientation: bisexual romantic orientation: biromantic, could be polyromantic preferred emotional role: submissive (someone pls force her to accept comfort i am beggin) | dominant | switch | unsure preferred sexual role: submissive | dominant | switch | sex repulsed | libido: she’s basically DTF anytime and anywhere, and yes, i wish i were kidding, but she’s just horny on main. turn ons: she’s into more traditional kinds of attractiveness, people who look put together. but she really enjoys some kind of hint at wildness, hair that won’t quite stay, a kind of subtle ruggedness. post-battle disheveledness is HOT. allow her to talk about her studies, things she’s working on or wanting to start, she’ll love that. don’t be afraid to talk about your own interests, she goes off on her own a lot, so she’ll want someone with their own hobbies too. be kind, be willing to grow and change and share. be there if she asks. laugh at her absolutely fucking awful jokes. on the more physical side, not being afraid to show affection in public. that spot on the neck below the ear? yeah, kiss it. leave a mark. kiss the inside of her wrist. do not be afraid to be rough with her, she’s not easily hurt and she doesn’t always like being treated like a china doll. go to town. BUT you must also be good at taking your time. tenderness is a good trait to have in every day life, but if you can translate that into the intimacy of the bedroom, give her a slow buildup, ur golden. turn offs: unnecessary rudeness, lack of independence. anyone who treats her like she needs protecting, or thinks she needs to confine herself in some way, for any amount of time. never laughing at her terrible jokes, or indulging her seemingly random curiosities. being a skybreaker. love language: physical touch is primary, but quality time and words of affirmation are also great. relationship tendencies: shallan has a tendency to fall fast. even when she’s telling herself to be careful and take things slow, it’s easy to pull her in and have her grow an attachment on a superficial level fairly early. she’s good about letting the other person lean on her for support, but she’s not so great when it comes to sharing anything deep about herself. she has a habit of trying to mold herself into what she thinks the other person would like, and clinging to that. if confused she might play around with feelings, though she’s not fully aware she’s doing it. she’s big on positive reinforcement, she’ll let you know if she enjoys your company, and when she’s invested in the relationship, she’ll look for fun ways to spend time with that person. she might attempt to appear more serious and mature than she is, but her silliness will slip out. when she loves though, she loves completely, and a distracted heart is settled once she makes a decision about what she wants.

MISCELLANEOUS.

character’s theme song: flowers, from ha.des.town iris, goo goo dolls moth’s wings, passion pit: this is more a general vibe. i picture it when shallan is in a creative spurt. sun, sleeping at last: for the same creation aesthetic. fire drills, dessa (for when she finally Snaps. and also some lines just really Hit)

hobbies to pass the time: drawing is the big one. she’s always got her sketchbook and something to draw with on hand. it’s an art she’s perfected and uses it both for her lightweaving, and to relax. she enjoys scholarship, exploring history is of a special interest, but taking a closer look at the local flora and fauna is just as fun. she’s naturally curious, so if something grabs her attention, she will want to take a look. she also enjoys discussing what she’s working on with other people, sometimes just so she can use them as a sounding board, but also because they might have insights she doesn’t. it’s very fun for her to explore ideas. she likes going on walks, exploring the area around her. just spending quality time with people she enjoys too. mental illnesses: Dissociative Personality Disorder is the big one. ADHD, PTSD, some depression. physical illnesses: None. left or right brained: right fears: CONFINEMENT. she fears vulnerability and relying others, but she also craves it quite a bit. she fears being understood completely because she’s certain there isn’t anything left to love if someone were to see everything. she fears what she can’t understand, and losing the people she loves, more than she already has. self confidence level: extremely low. she projects an air of self confidence, but frequently downplays her talents. she finds it completely astounding that adolin might actually find her attractive in any sense, let alone be interested in her as a person. her trauma and what she precieves as crimes has left her feeling hollowed out, because she is so terrified of someone really Seeing her, she works hard to hide those corners of herself from others and often feels like she’s failing at even that. vulnerabilities: shallan keeps secrets. too many of them. and she can often dig herself into a pit and struggle to get herself out, and even when she’s in that deep, she has difficulty asking for help. she doesn’t always think things through. her dpd can leave her particularly vulnerable depending on which personality is in control (veil in particular has trouble seeing the Big Picture). it’s easy to goad her into a fight (of the verbal variety) and she will stop at nothing to have the last word. if you have members of her family to hold over her, that’s a good tool. and shallan cannot resist a good mystery, that is a surefire way to pull her in.

tagged by: @luck-crowned tagging: @marblecarved (for mary, emma, or horace!), @melnchly (meg or ros), @minastiriiths, @arturiusrex, @gxtenoughnxrve, @ambiidexter, and @arborvitas

#c. shallan #this took me several days of fact checking the books for some shit lmafo #anyway meet my garbage daughter

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akwardlyuncool · 4 years

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2010-2019: A Decade of Akward Albums.

So here are 20 of my favorites albums that came out in the last 10 years. Ranked? I tried and I know there will be albums I feel like I slighted (all of Set It Off’s last 3 albums) but hey here we are and I and that mad at it.

Playlist and Anecdotes Included. (Also click the links to some great old blog posts that make me smile more than anything.)

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#1) Lemonade - Beyoncé (2016)

This is no surprise. I said it early on that this was probably one of the best if not the best album of the last 10 years and 3 years later, it’s still very much up there for me.

Sandcastles

Sorry

Hold Up

#2) Everything But What You Need - Speak Low If You Speak Love (2015)

If you don’t know how much I love this album, you haven’t been paying attention or talking to me at all. I played it on repeat for a 8 hour road trip, so believe me when I say it’s an all time favorite.

Confusion

Guess and Check

Eight Weeks

#3) The Hamilton Mixtape (2016)

Yes. Just Yes. The original is great, but the mixtape just hit differently. I also turned Congratulations by Dessa into a spoken word piece cause I’m cool like that.

That Would Be Enough - Alicia Keys

It’s Quiet Uptown - Kelly Clarkson

My Shot - Busta Rhymes, Joell Ortiz, Nate Ruess and The Roots

#4) Life’s Not Out To Get You - Neck Deep (2015)

If this album isn’t on your favorite pop punk albums list, then I don’t think you listened to it.

Serpents

Lime St.

Kali Ma

#5) The Way We Learn Farewell Fighter (2011)

Got this one at Warped Tour, when I think it was just baby EP and parts of it have just stuck with me. Golden will never get old.

Golden

Growing Pains

Terminal

#6) The Finer Things - State Champs (2013)

I don’t know what to say about The Finer Things, but I love it. I love it a lot. Go see State Champs live and you’ll understand why. I think I was a year late on this one cause it would have made my Class Favorites of 2013, but they made it on the list for 2014.

Hard To Please

Simple Existence

Nothing Wrong

#7) Around The World and Back - State Champs (2015)

This was the album that proved they just continue to get better and better.

All Or Nothing

Tooth and Nail

Perfect Score

#8) + Ed Sheeran (2011)

Although he get bigger with every album this one is home to me.

Give Me Love

U.N.I.

Wake Me Up

#9) Animal - Kesha (2010)

This album is the definition of FUN and reminds me of high school.

Boots and Boys

Stephen

Party At A Rich Dudes House

#10) Cardboard Castles - Watsky (2013)

Watsky and this album is about friendship to me, so I’m holding it close.

Dent In The Moon

Cardboard Castles

Moral Of The Story

#11) Pure Heroin - Lorde (2013)

Not to be generic, but this album is on most people’s decade lists, mainly because it’s the right answer.

Glory and Gore

Royals

Buzzcut Season

#12) What Is Love - Never Shout Never (2010)

Me and my best friend listened to a ton of NeverShoutNever while sitting in math class senior year. Putting this album on brings me a great joy, especially when me and nostalgia are kinda iffy. We’re just gonna ignore the massive crush I has on Christopher Drew and the fan-fiction I wrote that means I can’t judge anyone for writing fiction about any band.

Love Is Our Weapon

What is Love?

Jane Doe

#13) Suburbia I’ve Given You All And Now I’m Nothing (2011)

I read something once that The Wonders is like what we needed in high school or something to that effect and even if I’m remembering that wrong, it’s 100% true. It bums me out that it came out a year after I graduated.

Don’t Let Me Cave In

Came Out Swinging

My Life Of A Pigeon

#14) All You Can Do - Watsky (2014)

Maybe it’s Anderson. Paak’s influence, but this album flows hella nicely

Sarajevo ft. Dia Frampton

Let’s Get High and Watch Planet Earth

Right Now ft. Lisa Vitale

#15) Red - Dia Frampton (2011)

She had such a influential decade, was a feature on every other album and in turn had the best solo album of the decade titled RED.

Daniel

Trapeze

The Broken Ones

#16) Legendary - The Summer Set (2013)

I was into their singles from PureVolume and then they came out with Legendary and I truly fell in love.

Legendary

Lightning In A Bottle

The Way We Were

#17) Never Happy, Ever After - AS IT IS (2015)

I’ve probably lost the title by now, but at one point I probably held the record the for the most listens to this album by a single person. I would put in on repeat and listen to it while I fell asleep and in turn wake up to it. Probably not so great on the electric bill, but hey I might only live in my parents house once.

Concrete

My Oceans Were Lakes

You, The Room and The Devil On Your Shoulder

#18) Battle Scars Extended Edition - Paradise Fears (2013)

I loved this album and this band so much that I got my friend to go to their all ages show with me and we ended up being the oldest people there, outside of the band themselves and the parents who brought their kids. I also cried at that show cause they had incense going and it reminds me of my grandmother who passed away,

Fought For Me

What Are You Waiting For?

Sanctuary

#19) Beyoncé - Beyoncé (2014)

This album walked to Lemonade could run, so I have to put respect on it’s name. PS: I would probably be okay with never listening to Pretty Hurts ever again, that doesn’t mean it isn’t one of my favorites.

Partition

Pretty Hurts

#20) I Still Believe - Lyfe Jennings (2010)

He was my most listened to artist of the decade according to Spotify, so it makes sense that this album is in my top 20. This is me and my dad, all day everyday.

I Still Believe

Learn From This

If Tomorrow Never Comes

ALL 60 SONGS - SPOTIFY PLAYLIST.

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leafbatsims · 5 years

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RULES: answer 21 questions, then tag 21 people you want to get to know better.

NICKNAME: Caro

ZODIAC: Taurus sun, Libra moon, and Aries rising (LOL)

HEIGHT: 5′5″

LAST THING SEARCHED: ... how to spell aries. being dyslexic is hard

FAVORITE MUSICIANS: the national, hozier, matthew and the atlas, dessa, birdtalker, florence + the machine, ryn weaver, etc

IF YOU HAD A TIME MACHINE, WOULD YOU GO BACK IN TIME OR VISIT THE FUTURE? you know what I would do if I had a time machine? harrison ford.

DO I GET ASKS: lmao no

FOLLOWING: 302

WOULD YOU RATHER BE RICH OR FAMOUS? RICH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

AMOUNT OF SLEEP: 12 to 16 frankly

WHAT I’M WEARING: sweats from college, and a t shirt my sister got for me at the summer camp reunion i did not go to

DREAM JOB: self employed and making things people enjoy, and/or writing

DREAM TRIP: I’ve done New Zealand and Scotland already so like... Iceland? Japan?

IF YOU WERE AN ANIMAL, WHAT WOULD YOU BE? fruit bat

WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR FAVORITE BOOKS/FILMS/SHOWS/GAMES/ETC?

books: neverwhere, six of crows (i’m bad at reading)

movies: mad max: fury road, wonder woman, clue, spider-man: into the spider-verse, the princess bride, star wars, howl’s moving castle

shows: mst3k (original and reboot), ghost adventures, bake off, dragon prince, star wars: the clone wars

games: sims, breath of the wild but really just like... all zelda, uncharted, animal crossing, harvest moon/story of seasons/stardew valley, DUNGEONS & DRAGONS

PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS: no i do not

LANGUAGE(S): english and a little bit of spanish

DESCRIBE YOURSELF AS AESTHETICS: forest kei, a small animal that lives in a quaint house and bakes and has a thimble for a flower pot, half-elf half-hobbit, 80′s fantasy anime... you know. comfy, but make it fashion.

I’m taggiiiiing.... anyone who hasn’t done this but wants to.

#tag memes

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purplesurveys · 5 years

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483

Is there a bus stop near your house?: No, buses don’t stop around my area and I only ever see them on EDSA, which is like the main highway of Metro Manila.

Do you prefer red wine or white wine?: I hate the shit out of wine but if I absolutely had to drink some, it has to be red. And it has to be more sweet than bitter.

What’s the last airport you were at? Why were you there?: NAIA. I’m literally at the Starbucks right across the airport right now because my mom is arriving from Hong Kong in an hour and I have to pick her up.

Who do you live with?: I live with my family. That’s a mom, a dad, a brother, a sister, a cat, and a dog.

Do you read reddit? If so, how often and what subreddits do you like?: Yessssss all the time. I always browse through the Popular filter since it already compiles the best recent posts, but I’m a huge fan of the r/AmITheAsshole subreddit. People who turn out to be the assholes are hilaaaaarious.

Have you recently broken up with a significant other or even just a friend?: No. I ‘broke up’ with Aya as a friend when she was being abusive to Jo, but she’s since started working on getting better and has apologized to our friend group, so she’s back on my good side.

What’s the weather like today? Is it nice enough to go outside?: It’s 29ºC. I’m glad we’re not in the 30s, but I don’t appreciate how warm it still is.

Do you know anyone who’s had a baby recently?: As far as I know, no.

Have you used a pen or pencil today? What did you write down?: [continued from earlier because I had to pick my mom up lmao] Yes, I used a pen today. It was to write my name on a requirement that I needed to submit to complete my class.

What does your last text message say and who is it from?: "Can I call?” from my girlfriend.

Can you count how many times you’ve seen your favourite film?: Must be near a hundred. I talked about this in a recent survey but there was a time I watched Two for the Road everyday for like 2-3 months. I still make it a point to watch it several times a year.

When was the last time you ate marshmallows?: I have no idea. I don’t like marshmallows; I’ve always hated the texture.

Do you listen to any podcasts? How do you listen to them?: Uhhh no, not really. If I REALLY REALLY like the guest, I’ll sometimes listen to Colt Cabana’s Art of Wrestling or Chris Jericho’s Talk is Jericho. But other than that, I’d rather watch YouTube videos.

How old will you be in the year 2030?: 32.

How often does the kettle in your house get used?: My mom never got one.

Does your skin bruise easily? Do you have any bruises right now? What from?: Yep, super. I don’t have a bruise right now but I do have a mysterious cut below my right knee. Have absolutely no idea where it came from, but apparently whatever cut it cut it deep and it hurts.

What was the last thing you spent $150 or more on?: I’ve never spent that amount of money on anything.

Do you prefer yes or no questions or more open-ended questions?: Open-ended. If I sense that a survey is becoming too yes-or-no I usually quit it halfway; it’s too boring.

What brand of toilet paper do you usually buy?: My mom buys the toiletries so I’m not aware of what brands she gets.

If I knocked on your door right now, would you be acceptable dressed?: Yes. I just got home and haven’t changed out of my jumpsuit.

Why did you leave your last job?: Never had one.

What colour were the last socks you wore?: It’s like a faded green.

Are you studying currently? What level of education and what do you study?: Yep! I’m an incoming senior in my BA in Journalism.

Have you ever eaten at a restaurant and left without paying?: No, that’s terrible.

What was the last thing that made you laugh out loud?: Probably something from Buzzfeed Unsolved cause I’ve been rewatching it lately.

What’s your favourite scent of air freshener?: Meh, I prefer the natural car smell. Scents make me dizzy.

How many weddings have you ever been to?: Four, I think. All of those when I was a kid; I haven’t been to a wedding since 2007.

Do you know anyone named Nora?: I don’t think so.

Are your hands and feet in good condition or could you do with a mani-pedi? My fingernails can be trimmed, but it’s not like a mess or anything. When was the last time you played a board game? What did you play?: We played a math version of Scrabble when we stayed over at Laurice’s house. I’ve never seen a game like it before lmfaaaaao it was so intense.

Have you ever been to a festival for beer or other type of alcohol?: Nope. I don’t think that would be my kind of scene, either.

Do you own a record player and/or vinyls?: I don’t have a record player so I don’t have vinyls.

When was the last time you went out for drinks?: Third week of May. Have you ever been to a strip club?: NO I really want to go to one though.

What’s your favourite kind of smoothie?: I don’t take smoothies.

Do you know anyone with a ‘virtue name’? (Google it): Hmm I don’t think so, but I know someone who wants to name their kid Prudence.

Would you ever wear real authentic leather?: Never.

Have you taken out the trash today?: Nope, I don’t do that around the house. How often do you wear make-up?: Very seldom. I had my face made up several times over the last few months because Kate sometimes gets bored and she’d want to give me a makeover, but other than that, I rarely get my face done for events.

What’s your opinion on The Simpsons?: I have a very soft spot for that episode where Homer sits on the hood of his car and looks at the stars after he separated from his mom. I don’t keep track of the rest of the show.

Do you prefer horizontal or vertical stripes?: Horizontal. I don’t think I’ve ever worn vertical ones before.

What’s your favourite brand of deodorant/antiperspirant?: I don’t have a favorite.

Do you know anyone who has been through a divorce?: No. We don’t have divorce in the Philippines. So it’s not because all the couples I know are staying strong – it’s literally because no one is allowed to divorce by law.

If you had the money, would you take taxis everywhere instead of driving?: No, taxi drivers can be creepy. I’d rather drive by myself.

Have you ever done a juice cleanse?: Nope. I don’t need it.

Do you have any friends who you can’t decide if they’re attractive or not?: HAHAHAHAHA WTF, that’s so messed up and such a shitty thing to do. Is the inside of your fridge clean right now or does it need a clean out?: It’s always clean. My mom doesn’t let any spot in the house go messy for long.

When was the last time you washed the dishes?: This morning before I left the house.

Are there any magazines that you read on a regular basis?: Nope, I haven’t read one in months.

Do you have to pay for parking in most places in the town/city you live in?: No, not in Antipolo. That’s why I love it here. Once I get to the city though we do have to pay for everything, yes.

What’s the first thing you tend to do when you have a headache?: Take a Biogesic. Takes it out immediately.

Tell me about your responsibilities at work.: I don’t have a legit job yet, but at my latest internship I did news monitoring, press releases, research, and made briefing forms for the media.

Can you hear lots of traffic from your house? Does it bother you?: No. I live in a gated subdivision so it is very quiet here. Have you ever had proper Canadian poutine with the squeaky cheese?: I have never tried poutine, what a damn shame. I wish I can encounter a restaurant that serves it cause it looks SO GOOD. Canadian cuisine is not very prominent here though so idk when I can ever get an authentic serving of poutine :(

Do your parents know how to operate smartphones and/or computers?: My dad is very techy, more so than me. My mom uses her phone for her Facebook and camera and nothing else. She still asks me to Google stuff for her even if her Chrome app is right beside Facebook.

How old are your parents, anyway?: My mom and dad are both 1971 babies so they are turning 48 this year.

Are you allergic to anything? What do you have to do to prevent them?: No. My skin can get very allergic to the environment (especially if it’s humid), but it’s not an allergy or anything.

What song is stuck in your head at the moment?: I haven’t been thinking of a song.

Do you hate it when people try really hard, or do you kinda like it?: Idk how to feel about them...like sometimes I’d think it’s hilarious but other times I’d feel sorry and just cringe. But I’m certain I don’t hate it.

What’s your boss’ first name? Do you call him/her by that name?: My boss at internship is named Dessa. I call her that but I address her with Ms. before her name too so that it’s respectful.

When was the last time you wore a uniform of any kind? What colour was it? I wore my old school uniform last year for funsies because I spotted it in our storage closet and felt a little nostalgic. No reason to wear it, just wanted to mess around. The blouse ws white, the necktie and skirt are plaid.

Do you complete a survey before taking this one? Will you take one after?: No. After this, I’m torn among a) getting a midnight snack, b) taking another survey, and c) watching RuPaul’s Drag Race since I started getting into it last night, hahaha. Have you ever lost enough weight to drop a dress size?: I probably have, except I wasn’t actively trying to achieve that.

What’s your favourite kind of bread?: White and brioche.

When was the last time you got pizza? What toppings did you get?: Last Thursday. We got a cheese pizza and a barbecue chicken pizza.

Do you own Monopoly? Is it the original or a special version?: We don’t. I don’t know how to play Monopoly haha it always seemed just so boring to me.

What was the last thing you said out loud?: "Whatcha doing?”

You have to choose one: cats or dogs?: Dogs.

Would someone being either a cat or dog person affect you dating them?: It probably would. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who wants to own a cat with me. I love cats but I would never want them as a pet.

How do you travel to and from work?: I drive myself always. I don’t work yet, though.

Do you primarily use cash or card for your purchases? Why?: Cash, because I don’t have a card.

Have you ever been to a stadium concert?: I’ve been to arena concerts, if they mean the same thing lmao.

#survey #surveys

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mst3kproject · 5 years

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K11: Humanoid Woman – Part I

The original title of this film in the USSR was the Latin Per Aspera ad Astra, which translates roughly to Through Hardships to the Stars. It’s a phrase that has inspired a great deal of art and poetry, some of which I will be reblogging as bonus material. The movie is two hours long, and I’ve never seen it even on MST3K, so I have no idea what to expect. Knitting in hand, snack at fingertips, here goes.

A group of cosmonauts discover an unidentified spacecraft, apparently abandoned. They stop to check it out, and find evidence of an unknown catastrophe that seems to have killed all the creatures on board – except for one, who had time to get into a spacesuit. The crew’s first contact specialist, Sergei Lebedev, takes this survivor back to Earth with him to stay with his family. Niya, as they call her, begins to remember flashes of a polluted and hostile world and of a cruel creator, while the humans discover that she not only has frightening telekinetic powers, there appears to be some kind of control circuit implanted in her brain.

When ambassadors from her home planet of Dessa arrive on Earth, Niya stows away on the ship taking them back to their homeworld. She and the humans arrive to find Dessa almost entirely devoid of life and run by a corporation selling gas masks and bottled air. After some research, the Earthlings discover a way to clean up the planet’s atmosphere, but the CEO of the gas mask company, the greedy and callous Turanchox, will stop at nothing to maintain his stranglehold on Dessa. Niya’s powers, which her creator intended would save the planet, may just be what he needs to destroy her companions. He just needs to find the control circuit.

This is a complex film with a hell of a lot to say and a lot for me to get my analytical teeth into, so I’ve decided to stretch this review out into two pieces. This week I’ll discuss Per Aspera ad Astra as a movie with effects, performances, and so forth, and take a look at its worldbuilding and storytelling. Next week, I will delve into the movie as a piece of Soviet propaganda.

The Russian movies that appeared on MST3K tended to be better than they’re given credit for (probably the really bad Russian movies were never exported to the west in the first place) and Per Aspera ad Astra is not an exception. There are parts of it I absolutely love. The worldbuilding in particular is beautifully done, with small moments used to establish big pictures. When the cosmonauts in the opening scene find a strange vessel in space, they are able to look it up in a catalogue and find no matches for it – this tells us eloquently and with no clunky dialogue that this is a future in which we’ve had contact with multiple civilizations among the stars. The utter everydayness of space travel is established by having a spaceport that looks and sounds just like a modern airport, and makes the audience marvel at the fact that here in the twenty-first century, humans have learned to fly and no longer think anything of it.

The special effects are lovely. They’re not perfect, but they’re good enough, and their purpose is to tell the story rather than to make the audience go, “wow!” The composite shots aren’t great, but the miniatures are nice. Planet Dessa is just a bunch of industrial sites filmed through an orange filter but it gets the idea across. Niya’s powers are edited with abrupt cuts and tight focus, which make them feel jarring and out of place – later, when we see her on Dessa, the edits are smoother because this is where she belongs. The only thing that’s really bad is the octopus alien in the tank, which gets worse the closer we look at it. It looks like a dude with a sheet of latex draped over him, which is of course exactly what it is. A puppet would have been way better. This creature is irrelevant anyway, being nothing but intrusive comic relief – though the scenes with Vasily the cat are actually pretty funny.

The best effect in the movie are the zero-gravity sequences, which are magnificent. They’re the equal of anything in Gravity or Apollo 13, without any computer trickery or the need to film in freefall – instead, they’re done in a neutral buoyancy tank, like the one NASA uses to train astronauts. The ingenious thing is that the only zero gravity environment in the film is on the dead spacecraft from Dessa, which has no power and is full of dust and debris from the explosion, which naturally makes it look smoky and dim… as if it’s all underwater! Something that could have been an obvious trick actually adds to the atmosphere instead.

There’s an interesting escalation of the sci-fi elements in this film. For most of the first half of the movie we’re on the Lebedev family’s estate, which is a peaceful and pastoral place. All the farm work is done by robots, but the only robot we see is the amusingly humanoid one that serves as a butler of sorts, and there’s very little to tell us we’re actually two centuries in the future. Later, the speculative elements increase in importance, as we meet the octopus alien and go back into space, and finally Dessa itself, with its orange sky and its monsters, is something that could only exist in a sci-fi movie. No matter how weird and esoteric this movie gets, it’s all rooted in the ordinary. The fact that we spent so much time with normal people on Earth reminds us that there are normal people everywhere – even on dying planets and ocean worlds of octopus aliens.

Roger Ebert once said of My Big Fat Greek Wedding that everybody in it looked like a real person – that this was not some alternate universe in which Anne Hathaway is considered awkward and nerdy. Per Aspera ad Astra is like that, too. Even characters who are supposed to be attractive, like Sergei’s son Stepan and his friend Selena, are very ordinary-looking by Hollywood standards. Thus they should be: this is a story about normal people doing what their world considers to be normal things. The various crew members on the spacecraft look tired and occasionally bored or frustrated by their duties, as people would when this is just their nine-to-five. The workaday feeling of the people and places, the functionality of the sets and the costumes, remind me of Alien – this world is science fiction to us, but not to the people who live there.

It’s hard to judge performances in a language I do not speak, but I was very impressed by Yelena Metyolkina as Niya. She is physically perfect for the part, with large eyes, fair colouring, and a slim, bony build that make her look a little alien to begin with. Throughout the first part of the movie Niya is almost totally mute, but Metyolkina makes that silence speak volumes: we see that Niya is afraid of her own powers and overwhelmed by the abundance of life all around her on Earth. She imparts her emotions through tiny twitches of her face and body. When we first meet her, she does very little but sit in a chair with her knees tucked up to her chest – as she opens up emotionally, she also opens up physically, permitting herself to move around and take up space. Later, when she is frightened or vulnerable, the curled posture returns.

It’s really remarkable how much her appearance changes when she starts wearing wigs. She still looks odd, but the simple presence of hair softens her quite a bit and you can believe she would blend into a crowd in ways she wouldn’t with the buzz cut that is apparently natural to her. Even with the wig on, though, Metyolkina manages to include moments that remind us Niya is not an earthling and will never quite fit into this world, no matter how much she learns. She can act human, but it really is just an act.

The movie also does an excellent job of portraying equality between the sexes. We meet several women and all of them are respected as the intellectual equals of the men. Dr. Ivanova is an authority in her field and while Sergei argues with her about how Niya should be treated, he bows to her insistence on security features for his home, and allows her to study Niya’s brain and the cybernetics in it. Only once does he say something disrespectful, and she immediately calls him on it and makes him apologize. Sergei’s mother is an obstetrician, also well-regarded and with her services in high demand. Stepan’s friend Selena is a bit of an annoyance with her crush on him, and says some insensitive things to Niya, but she is not the empty-headed ditz cliché would demand. The only place where there’s an obvious inequality is in the all-male spaceship crews.

On all these many levels, Per Aspera ad Astra is an absolutely beautiful, well-made, and thoroughly enjoyable film. I admit that I probably think it’s better than it is because I’m comparing it to all the many bad movies I watch, but I was absolutely enthralled by the visuals, the story, and the complex and conflicted character of Niya. I think this is most likely why MST3K never re-visited Humanoid Woman the way they did some of the other KTMA films. There’s just not that much to make fun of.

At least, not until we get into the meaning of this story. Unfortunately, when that happens Per Aspera ad Astra starts to get really preachy – like, Avatar levels of preachy. Stay tuned for next week, when I will attempt to unpack the Soviet side of Cold War Propaganda. It’s just as annoying as the American one, even when it looks prettier.

#mst3k #reviews #humanoid woman #80s #russofinnish coproduction

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e8luhs · 6 years

Text

QUEEN OF PEACE.

LISTEN ON SPOTIFY

TRACKLIST & ANNOTATIONS UNDER THE CUT! (last edited 04.04.19)

I. QUEEN OF PEACE / FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE

oh, the queen of peace always does her best to please is it any use somebody's gotta lose like a long stream i'll bear all this echoing oh, what is it worth all that's left is hurt

II. FLAMINGO / KERO KERO BONITO

black, white, green or blue show off your natural hue flamingo if you're multicolored, that's cool too you don't need to change it's boring being the same flamingo you're pretty either way

III. FRIEND [LOVER] / EVENINGS

[instrumental]

IV. BEATOPHONE / CARAVAN PALACE

[instrumental]

V. OTTER POP / SHAWN WASABI

jello shots and lemon drops this is how we otter pop this is how we otter pop higher than an astronaut this is how we otter pop

VI. HEART ATTACK (CHUU) / LOONA

you attack my heart!

VII. CALL ME / BLONDIE

call me (call me) on the line call me, call me any, anytime call me (call me) oh love when you're ready we can share the wine call me

VIII. PANIC / CARAVAN PALACE

[instrumental]

IX. HER PERFUME / POGO

[instrumental]

X. MY BLOOD / ELLIE GOULDING

that feeling that doesn't go away just did and i walked a thousand miles to prove it and i'm caught in the crossfire of my own thoughts the color of my blood is all i see on the rocks as you sail from me

XI. RUINS / TOBY FOX

[instrumental]

XII. DOG DAYS ARE OVER / FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE

she hid around corners and she hid under beds she killed it with kisses and from it she fled with every bubble she sank with a drink and washed it away down the kitchen sink

XIII. TEARDROP / MASSIVE ATTACK

water is my eye most faithful mirror fearless on my breath teardrop on the fire of a confession

XIV. THE TROUBLE / POGO

[instrumental]

XV. JENNY / STUDIO KILLERS

i wanna ruin our friendship we should be lovers instead i don't know how to say this 'cause you're really my dearest friend i wanna ruin our friendship i don't know how to say this 'cause you're really my dearest friend

XVI. SEA CASTLE / PURITY RING

i could give you petty rhymes of worlds that i contrive they're in my sleep, my dreams i speak them slow, so you can read and not stand back and stare and fear foolish devouring things and not stand back and stare and fear foolish devouring

XVII. WASH MY HANDS / KORMAC

[instrumental]

XVIII. GETTIN’ MY MOM ON / JACK STAUBER

cup in my cap, and i'ma drinka my mimosa! read “keep calm carry on” poster (slip into jc penney’s having a day sale gettin’ my mom on)

XIX. BE ALRIGHT / SHE

[instrumental]

XX. BABE / EVENINGS

[instrumental]

XXI. BUTTERFLY / LOONA

it gets dizzy everything around me is blue, now with you, you, now a folded paper moon like i’m wandering in-between i better be around you

XXII. WET HANDS / C418

[instrumental]

XXIII. ALL MY STARS ALIGNED / ST VINCENT

i do a dance to make the rain come smile to keep the sky from falling down, down, down, down collect the love that i've been given build a nest for us to sleep in here you know it's real

XXIV. HALF CAFF / GO! CHILD

you saw me collapse past the frame asking me as i fell to my knees, "is this how it should end?" but i told you i wasn't worth any of this feeling the abyss, i looked up and i said ... and i said, "here i go again"

XXV. ASSEZ VIF, TRES RHYTHME / SATIE STRING QUARTET

[instrumental]

XXVI. NEWBOP / CARAVAN PALACE

[instrumental]

XXVII. PROLOGUE / DISASTERPEACE

[instrumental]

XXVIII. WAR OF HEARTS / RUELLE

i can’t help but be wrong in the dark 'cause I’m overcome in this war of hearts i can’t help but want oceans to part 'cause I’m overcome in this war of hearts

XXIX. MAKE UP YOUR MIND / FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE

make up your mind let me leave or let me love you while you've been saving your neck, i've been breaking mine for you

XXX. RUNNING UP THAT HILL (A DEAL WITH GOD) / KATE BUSH

you don't want to hurt me, but see how deep the bullet lies unaware I'm tearing you asunder ooh, there is thunder in our hearts

XXXI. BODYACHE / PURITY RING

i, i, i lied, now i'm lying awake i, i, i cried 'til my body ache i, i, i lied, now i'm lying awake i, i, i cried 'til my body ache

XXXII. SHIP TO WRECK / FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE

what's with the long face, do you want more? thousands of red-eyed mice, scratching at the door don't let the curtain catch you, cause you've been here before the chair is an island darling, you can't touch the floor

XXXIII. HEARTACHE / UNDERTALE

[instrumental]

XXXIV. DREAM SWEET IN SEA MAJOR / MIRACLE MUSICAL

a siren sounds like the goddess who promises endless apologies of paradise and only she can make it right so things are different tonight we'll go together in flight

XXXV. COTTON HEADS / CARAVAN PALACE

i'll tell you why the pictures on the wall, i want to get away from it all

XXXVI. END OF THOUGHT / REGINA SPEKTOR

be careful before you decide the universe is too big the universe is too big you cannot make a mistake you cannot make a mistake

XXXVII. FEAR THE FUTURE / ST VINCENT

when the war rose and fell and the oceans are swell i run for you, run for me too

XXXVIII. FINESHRINE / PURITY RING

that i might see with my chest and sink into the edges round you into the lakes and quarries that brink on all the edges round you, round you, round you

XXXIX. SILENT SPRING / MASSIVE ATTACK

[instrumental]

XL. FOLDING CHAIR / REGINA SPEKTOR

now i've been sitting on this abandoned beach for years waiting for the salty water to cover up my ears but every time the tide come in to take me home i get scared, and i'm sitting here alone dreaming of the dolphin song

XLI. IMPOSTOR SYNDROME / SIDNEY GISH

every other day i’m wondering what’s a human being gotta be like? what’s a way to just be competent? these sweet instincts ruin my life

XLII. SEA OF ATLAS / SLEEPING AT LAST

there's a fine line, a fine line in between our progress and our instability we can't help ourselves but hunt for more a design flaw? or the olive branch that proves the shore- the catalyst we've waited for

XLIII. THE CALL / REGINA SPEKTOR

just because everything's changing doesn't mean it's never been this way before all you can do is try to know who your friends are as you head off to the war

XLIV. NOBODY / MITSKI

and i don't want your pity i just want somebody near me guess i'm a coward i just want to feel alright

XLV. SOFTLY WE GO / EVENINGS

[instrumental]

XLVI. DROWN / MARIKA HACKMAN

oh, to drown in your mind i would, i know i would to suffocate in your smoke i'd choke on you if i could maybe i will

XLVII. KALEIDOSCOPE / ARC IRIS

did i singe every hair from the body i have left? did i lose every drop of scent? a farse, a fall, an effigy hanging by a thread

XLVIII. SLOWBIRTH / ELSIANE

why am i full of emptiness? someday i will find my way ‘cause i always start to fall every moment that we face oh please help me find my way

XLIX. FALLEN DOWN (REPRISE) / TOBY FOX

[instrumental]

L. NOW, NOW / ST VINCENT

i'm not the feather at your feet i'm not your yellow brick street i'm not anyone you'll see i'm not anything

LI. OPHELIA / MARIKA HACKMAN

she who walks alone in life, is she of sound mind? i am only as old as i've been told now i'm playing for time

LII. NOBODY KNOWS / ELSIANE

it’s been so hard the task to resolve investigating ourselves becoming what we don’t want to be suffering all by ourselves

LIII. ALICE / POGO

[instrumental]

LIV. WATERFALL / TOBY FOX

[instrumental]

LV. ROUND / THE MOTH AND THE FLAME

tones bring us pleasure, but how do you hear the absence of melody where was our mother to tell us with songs of assurance, "you're not alone"

LVI. CHAMPAGNE YEAR / ST VINCENT

i'll make a living telling people what they want to hear it's not a killing, but it's enough to keep the cobwebs clear

LVII. VANERHAVET / DETEKTIVBYRAN

[instrumental]

LVIII. WHAT THE WATER GAVE ME / FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE

and oh, poor atlas the world's a beast of a burden you've been holding on a long time and all this longing and the ships are left to rust that's what the water gave us

LIX. YOU’VE GOT TIME / REGINA SPEKTOR

think of all the roads, think of all their crossings taking steps is easy, standing still is hard remember all their faces, remember all their voices everything is different the second time around

LX. STRANDED LULLABY / MIRACLE MUSICAL

there's a still tension in the swell so give in to the vast receiving emptiness of time beyond, beyond

LXI. ATHENA / HOT SUGAR

[instrumental]

LXII. WOMAN KING / IRON & WINE

hundred years, hundred more someday we may see a woman king, sword in hand swing at some evil and bleed

LXIII. HARDEST OF HEARTS / FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE

there is love in your body but you can't get it out it gets stuck in your head, won't come out of your mouth sticks to your tongue and it shows on your face that the sweetest of words have the bitterest taste

LXIV. SCIENCE/VISIONS / CHVRCHES

when you are truly yourself, you will succumb to a permanence a light by day a shadow resides by night

LXV. MODERATION / FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE

i've never made it with moderation no, i've never understood all the feeling was all or nothing and i took everything i could can't hold it back, i can't take the tension oh, i'm trying to be good want me to love you in moderation well don't you know, i wish i could

LXVI. WE PUT A PEARL IN THE GROUND / ST VINCENT

[instrumental]

LXVII. RECOVER / RUELLE

can you see me? i can barely see myself are we only empty frames up on the shelf it's like we're dreaming wide awake everything bends, until it breaks

LXVIII. SORRY / THE MOTH AND THE FLAME

i'm sorry for everything i've done and i'll no sooner lay down than i'll be anything I'm not i don't question the rules, i answer for them

LXIX. POOR ATLAS / DESSA

there's a book full of plans at the feet of poor atlas titled "for man" but the architects only drew blanks now there's nowhere to go but go back, go back, go back, go back

LXX. THOUSAND EYES / OF MONSTERS AND MEN

i lie awake and watch it all it feels like thousand eyes

LXXI. AQUARIUM / NOSAJ THING

[instrumental]

LXXII. BLACK SUN / DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE

how could something so fair be so cruel when this black sun revolved around you

LXXIII. PERFECT ON THE SURFACE / EMILY HAINES & THE SOFT SKELETON

this is, this is the purpose of my life harvest all my love, harness all my power to be perfect on the surface the surface cracks and i harvest all my love, harness all my high to be perfect on the surface the surface shine

LXXIV. NOTHING BUT TIME / METRIC

i wanted to be part of something i got nothing but time so the future is mine

LXXV. BREAKING DOWN / FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE

all alone, even when i was a child i've always known there was something to be frightened of i can see it coming from the edge of the room creeping in the streetlight holding my hand in the pale gloom can you see it coming now?

LXXVI. STILL / BEN FOLDS

i must give the impression that i have the answers for everything you were so disappointed to see me unravel so easily

LXXVII. NOT THE VILLAIN / S. J. TUCKER

if you want the very truth, i'll lay it down before you: everybody's got a story if you want the very truth, it's here before your eyes: every witch was someone's princess in some other once upon a time

LXXVIII. TORNADOLAND / REGINA SPEKTOR

before the light goes out why don’t you close your eyes? and all the monsters in your mind just wanna be nice they wanna be kind, they wanna play nice, they wanna be

LXXIX. THE PARTY / ST VINCENT

do you have change or a button or cash? oh, my pockets hang out like two surrender flags oh, but i'd pay anything to keep my conscience clean i'm keeping my eye on the exit sign, steady now

LXXX. TIME FOR US / ELSIANE

realizing never before you tried to compromise all you’re fighting within us all it’s undesired you’re hiding behind all this now that you found this follow your own way

LXXXI. NATTOPET / DETEKTIVBYRAN

[instrumental]

LXXXII. NO CHOIR / FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE

but the loneliness never left me i always took it with me but i can put it down in the pleasure of your company and there will be no grand choirs to sing no chorus will come in, no ballad will be written it will be entirely forgotten and if tomorrow it's all over, at least we had it for a moment oh darling things seem so unstable but for a moment we were able to be still

LXXXIII. RECOVER / CHVRCHES

and if i recover will you be my comfort? or it can be over or we can just leave it here so pick any number choose any color i've got the answer open the envelope

LXXXIV. ONE / SLEEPING AT LAST

now, i have learned my lesson; the price of this so-called perfection is everything i've spent my whole life searching desperately to find out that grace requires nothing of me

LXXXV. THE FACE PART II / METRIC

[instrumental]

LXXXVI. SPECTRUM / FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE

say my name and every color illuminates we are shining and we will never be afraid again

LXXXVII. PARTYLAND / DETEKTIVBYRAN

[instrumental]

LXXXVIII. PINK IN THE NIGHT / MITSKI

i could stare at your back all day i could stare at your back all day and i know i've kissed you before, but i didn't do it right can i try again, try again, try again? try again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again?

LXXXIX. HOME SWEET HOME / DETEKTIVBYRAN

[instrumental]

XC. HANG ON ME / ST VINCENT

yeah, so hang on me hang on me, hang on me, 'cause you and me we're not meant for this world

XCI. NEW YEAR / REGINA SPEKTOR

she sets her alarm five minutes to midnight and wakes just in time to say her goodbyes thanking the old year for all it has brought her no mention of the things it took away

XCII. AGER (MIND REEL) / EVENINGS

[instrumental]

XCIII. HEARTLINES / FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE

just keep following the heartlines on your hand just keep following the heartlines on your hand

XCIV. COME INTO THE WATER / MITSKI

i didn't know i had a dream i didn't know until i saw you so would you tell me if you want me? 'cause i can't move until you show me

XCV. I’M GOOD, I’M GONE / LYKKE LI

i'm working a sweat but it's all good i'm breaking my back but it's all good cause i know I'll get it back yeah, i know your hands will clap

XCVI. THE MOTHER WE SHARE / CHVRCHES

i'm in misery but you can't see, as old as your omens and the mother we share will never keep your proud head from falling the way is long but you can make it easy on me and the mother we share will never keep our cold hearts from calling

XCVII. SHAKE IT OUT / FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE

and i've been a fool and i've been blind i can never leave the past behind i can see no way, i can see no way i'm always dragging that horse around

XCVIII. SUN / SLEEPING AT LAST

we are the dust of dust we are the apple of god’s eye we are infinite as the universe we hold inside

XCIX. 054 / DETEKTIVBYRAN

[instrumental]

C. GOODBYE FOREVER / EVENINGS

[instrumental]

#plylsts #cataclysmalbound #yes we have undertale music on here and its allowed because lyreni canonically has played undertale. so it works

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empty-altars · 5 years

Text

@homosociallyyours tagged me to do a top ten women artists playlist. This was so hard, I have so many more that I love but I picked ones that were personal in some way mostly.

1. Bif Naked - Sophia

So, I was introduced to Bif Naked via Buffy and I'm sure my baby bi ass who hadn't quite figured shit out yet was like, ooh hot girl tattoos she's so cool and ran to check it out. Then I realized she was openly bi and there are songs of hers I love more but this one. Ohgod. This was the first time I had heard a song for a girl like this. I held you close, you were mine - everybody knew. (Side note, the other openly bi artist that I discovered around the same time was Brian Molko who I discovered due to the Cruel Intentions soundtrack. So, uh, thanks Sarah Michelle Gellar skshajaj)

2. Jenny Lewis - Rise Up With Fists!!

Jenny Lewis is very important to me. She is really frank about mental illness which has always made me feel better about my own. Discovering Rilo Kiley felt like being known. Also, I've been to a show and she is freaking adorable in person. But I still believe/and I will rise up with fists/and I will take what's mine

3. Neko Case - Deep Red Bells

Neko has this amazing voice that gives me chills. She's also amazing live. This one is so sad and haunting. The meaning behind it is kinda morbid but I like that. Does your soul cast about like an old paper bag/past empty lots and early graves

4. Dessa - 5 out of 6

Look, this whole list could be Dessa. I will be pimping her music to ppl until I die. She's so fucking good. Brilliant and poignant and the way she plays with words and phrases is so fantastic. Also I've met her and she is delightful. I don't drown, won't stay down/heat finds a way to rise somehow

5. Janelle Monáe - Tightrope

I had a hard time choosing just one song of Janelle's. It was a STRUGGLE. So I went with the first song of hers I was introduced to. Do yourself a favor and watch the linked video, it is fantastic. You dance up on them haters/keep getting funky on the scene

6. Eve - Love Is Blind

This one requires an abuse trigger warning tbh. I discovered this one several years after it came out while I was escaping an abusive marriage and it hit HARD. I have a lot of Eve in my library but this one probably is the most impactful. What you think is love is truly not/you need to elevate and find

7. Dessa - Dutch

Oh look, more Dessa! This was the first song of hers I ever heard and I was OBSESSED. Her wordplay makes my brain so happy. Seriously guys, if you do one thing please go check her out. I run on whiskey and risk and ennui and impatience

8. The Be Good Tanyas - The Littlest Birds

This is mostly on here because it reminds me of my brother and makes me happy. One of the cornerstones of our relationship is music and we constantly share what we've found with each other. Bluegrass warning, if you're not into that lol. But these women are really good. Their harmonies are lovely. You pass through places and places pass through you/but you carry them with you on the soles of your traveler's shoes

9. Ani DiFranco - In Or Out

So at some point my brother got into Ani DiFranco and I don't remember why or how, I just remember the robotic calls from the library informing us that Up Up Up Up Up Up was overdue dkshj Again. Anyway, I checked some of her stuff out for myself and this song. God. It made me feel so valid, yk? Like, oh, other bisexuals exist and get the same bullshit abt it. Guess there's something wrong with me guess I don't fit in/no one wants to touch it no one knows where to begin/I've got more than one membership to more than one club/and I owe my life to the people that I love

10. Indigo Girls - Ghost

Would a list like this really be complete without the Indigo Girls skshj This song has this intense sense memory associated with it of sitting on a sidewalk at 3am smoking cloves and crying over a girl. So. Idk. It's good and bad lol. I wanna quote this whole damn song these lyrics hurt so good. Dark and dangerous like a secret/that gets whispered in a hush/when I wake the things I dreamed about you/last night make me blush

In conclusion, I am very very bi and my musical tastes are strange and varied skhsja Also, there are SO MANY I could have added and this was very hard.

If you want, @zaynsthatkindofbeautiful @derekhaleace @josjournal and @thereyouares I would love to see your lists :)

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