#I’ve quoted this video probably everyday for 4 months now

[doctorwhoarchive]

not a day goes by where I don’t think about the person who said this is Sam after Tara and the twins raid the fridge

#this is the funniest video I’ve ever seen #I cried laughing for over an hour the first time I saw it #I’ve quoted this video probably everyday for 4 months now #I even got my irls quoting this #it’s her face at the end that gets me #melissa barrera #sam carpenter #tara carpenter #core four #scream

[lovemesomesurveys]

1. List 5 things you want to do before the year ends. I’d love to just be able to go to the beach and relax, but that won’t happen. That was the only place I could feel relaxed. Beaches have reopened, but the hours are limited and you can’t just sit/lay there like you used to be able to. You can only walk around. And anyway, the fact we’re still very much in the thick of this whole thing I don’t feel safe or comfortable going places yet or being around people. I wouldn’t feel relaxed at all. 

2. What color are your pants? I’m wearing black leggings.

3. Favorite motivational quote. Meh.

4. When was the last time you drank coffee? I’m drinking a Starbucks Doubleshot energy drink, which as the can says is a “energy coffee beverage.”

5. What was the last thing you ate?   Ramen.

6. Favorite animal. Giraffes! <<< Aww, saaaame. And doggos. (:

7. Favorite song. I couldn’t just choose one favorite.

8. Last movie you watched? I’m completely blanking at the moment in regards to the last movie, but I’ve binged a lot of a couple shows on Netflix recently. 

9. Any turn ons? Nice smelling cologne. 

10. Any turn offs? Cockiness and arrogance.

11. List 4 big words off of the top of your head. Claustrophobia, arachnophobia, agoraphobia, tryphophobia.  

12. What are some meaningful movies?   Hmm.

13. 2 most important people in your life right now? God and my family. Yep, I’m grouping my family cause I couldn’t just choose 2.

14. What are 3 things you want to do before the month ends? Let’s be real- I won’t be doing anything.

15. When was the last time you read a good book? I’m almost done with one called, “Never Walk Alone” by Willow Rose.

16. How long do you study for usually, if you study? I spend about 20 minutes to an hour when doing my Bible studies. 

17. Do you have any nicknames? Just Steph and Sis.

18. Favorite kind of perfume? (fruity, alluring, etc.) I like certain fruity and sweet ones, ones with patchouli, and beachy and autumnal scents from B&BW.

19. Do you have any international friends / friends who live out of state? Those of us in this survey community live all over. 

20. What is something unique that you do every single day? Probably that I have a bowl of ramen of every night.

21. If there was a movie based on your life, what would it be called? A series of unfortunate events <– Pretty damn accurate. Lmao. <<< Lol, I’ve made that joke before, too. I also find it quite fitting for my life.

22. When was the last time you bought a gift for someone? Last month.

23. Are you a shopaholic? I was. My online shopping got out of hand the last few years, too. However, I’ve actually been pretty good this year so far. 

24. What are some songs that always make you feel better? Upbeat and catchy songs help in the moment. Sad, emo, relatable songs can help as well, though. Sometimes just shouting along to “I’m Not Okay” saying, “I’M NOT OKAY, I’M NOT O-FUCKING-KAY!” or something can feel good. ha. Need some good angst.

25. List 3 activities that you can only enjoy by yourself. Surveys, reading, and listening to ASMR.

26. If you could live in any biome (and survive) which biome would you live in? I don’t think I’d last long in any biome.

27. How do you like being roused in the morning? Uh, I don’t.

28. How was your day? What did you do? It’s only about 330 in the morning, but so far it’s been fine. I’ve had my bowl of ramen, scrolled some through Tumblr, watched YouTube videos, and now I’m doing surveys and listening to ASMR.

29. What did your last text message say? I sent my brother a TikTok video that reminded me of our doggo.

30. Do you respond to texts quickly? It depends.

31. Who was the last person you called? My mom.

32. List 5 things that are on your wish list. I don’t knowwww.

33. If you were famous, what do you think you would be famous for? I wouldn’t be famous. I’m not that special or talented. <<< Same. I don’t want to be famous anyway.

34. Winter or summer? Winter, HANDS DOWN.

35. What is a quality that all people should have? Empathy would be great.

36. If you could have a large collection of one item, what would that item be? I already have a large collection of giraffe stuffed animals, books, key chains, and graphic tees. I don’t have room for more.

37. What have you been thinking about lately? My mind is always a jumbled mess with a lot of stuff that is always on my mind from my health, family, and just life in general. But this year has and continues to give me a lot to think about as well.

38. What is the secret to a happy life? Ha, you’re asking the wrong person.

39. What are some phrases you say often? I know I have my many “Stephanieisms”, but I always seem to blank when asked this question.

40. Favorite food? Ramen, scrambled eggs with shredded cheese, spinach, and green onion, Wingstop garlic parm and lemon pepper boneless wings, spaghetti and meatballs, pasta salads, pesto pasta, deli sandwiches, and baked potatoes.

41. List 3 wishes. I feel like you’ve asked me this in different ways a few times now.

42. What are some of your greatest fears? Losing my loved ones, death, never getting better/getting worse, never doing anything with my life and just wasting away...stuff like that.

43. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer? Some stuff for the last Bible study I did.

44. Most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen (in real life)? Beautiful beaches and mountainous areas. I went on a gondola last year that took us up over 9,000ft and the views were breathtaking. 

45. Spicy food:Like or dislike? I used to be obSESSED with spicy food, but I haven’t been able to eat it for a few years now due to some health reasons. It sucks. :/

46. Scary movies:Like or dislike? I love ‘em. I used to be a big baby, but I did a complete switch a few years ago.

47. Do you like to travel? Yes.

48. Any regrets? I have a lot of those.

49. Do you like rain? I love the rain.

50. What do you spend most of your money on? It used to be food or clothes, but this year I haven’t been doing a lot of shopping. 

51. Would you rather visit the past or the future? Past.

52. Favorite clothing store? Hot Topic and BoxLunch.

53. What is the best advice you can give to those who are feeling down? I’m always feeling down, so I’m not the one to ask about that either.

54. How often do you think about your future? Does it scare you? The future terrifies me. My mind is more wrapped up in current and past stuff.

55. What angers you the most? Injustice and corruption.  

56. When was the last time you got majorly angry? In my personal life, it’s been awhile since I’ve been angry. I get irritated and frustrated very easily, though.

57. When was the last time you got really sad? Sadness is one of my personality traits.

58. Are you good at lying? I used to be when it came to lying and downplaying about myself like with how I’m doing and really feeling, but my emotions took control. I still downplay and leave things out, but it’s obvious I’m not doing well. 

59. What foreign language would you like to learn? I’d like to be fluent in Spanish. I’ve been wanting to brush up and start practicing again. 

60. How many languages can you speak and what are they? I’m only fluent in English, but I can speak some Spanish.

61. How often do you go to parties? If you don’t, what do you do instead? I stay at home.

62. What books do you plan to read this year? I’ve read several this year and I plan to read several more. 

63. Do you have breakfast every morning? Nope. Very rarely these days since I sleep until like 3PM everyday. Sometimes I’ll have breakfast foods for a late lunch or dinner, though.

64. Tell us a secret. Nah.

65. How many concerts have you been to? Seven.

66. Last hug? My doggo. I haven’t hugged a person in months.

67. Who knows you better than anyone else? You guys, probably. ha.

68. Baths or showers? Showers.

69. Do you think you’re ambitious? I haven’t been for a long time... 

70. What song is stuck in your head? None at the moment.

71. Countries you’ve visited? Mexico. Besides my own, of course.

72. What do you most value in your friends? Understanding and low maintenance. 73. What helps you to sleep better? Listening to/watching ASMR can help. 

74. What is the most money you have ever held in your hand? 1k.

75. What makes you nervous? A lot of things. 76. What is the best advice you’ve ever been given? Hmm.

77. Is it easier to forgive or forget? I always forgive but never forget. <<<

78. First mobile phone? A gray Motorola flip phone.

79. Strangest dream? I have a lot of those.

80. Best dream? Hmm. 

81. Who is the smartest person you know? My younger brother.

82. Who is the prettiest person on tumblr? All of you.

83. Do you miss anyone right now? Loved ones who have passed away.

84. Who do you love? Why? I love my family. They’re my everything.

85. Do you like sharing? Sharing what?

86. What was the last picture you took with your phone? Probably of my doggo.

87. Is there a reason behind everything that happens? I believe so.

88. Favorite genre of music? I like variety. 89. If you had one word to describe yourself, what would it be? Mess.

90. Describe your life in 5 words. Nahhh.

91. Describe the world in 4 words. Nahhh.

92. Craziest thing you’ve ever done? I’m boring.

93. First three songs in your favorite playlist? I’m not checking right now.

94. Are you more creative or logical? Logical. I wish I was creative.

95. Would you rather lie or hurt someone with the truth? I mean, it kind of depends. If it’s something serious and they need to know, then I’d have to tell them even though it would be hard and could hurt them. 

96. What are you most proud of? I don’t feel proud of myself for anything.

97. What personality trait do you admire in other people? Those who are driven.

98. When you imagine yourself as really, really relaxed and happy, what are you doing? I’m at the beach, just staring out into the ocean while listening to the waves crash in and out and feeling the cool ocean air on my face, breathing it in.

99. How do you usually start a conversation? I usually don’t, ha. But I suppose with a “hey” or something of the sort.

100. What is the best news you could hear right now? That it was all just a horrible dream. <<< Oh man. If only.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

[eliza-meh]

How I Survive Life.....What’s this all about???

When there is a crisis, we as human beings always want to help. Its in our nature. Through physical help or moral support; sharing a recipe; a way of doing something to make life easier; a message to say your not alone or just a funny video.

The age of technology makes this so much easier. The ability to phone someone at the touch of a button and see them as you call them; 10 years ago just connecting just connecting to the internet took the amount of time you could phone somebody, make a cuppa and practice your handstands. (I’m not one of these back in my day people, no. Well not yet anyways)

You can post videos online of motivational speeches or we can do share quotes, upload photo’s that people 3000 miles away, who you have never met can see. The outreach of information is unreal.

In this such crisis never had we needed the use of technology more to keep in touch.

During this crisis, for some we take the time to do what we can to continue to work. Fitness- we make do with what we have. For some, they don’t know what to do- For others we take this time of isolation to learn or do something new; or something we have always wanted to do.

For me I have always wanted to sit and write. I have always been too busy, too distracted to write. My brain going into overdrive every time I sit down, or by the time I have sat down what, I have wanted to write has flown away. I wish there was a machine were my thought would automatically turn into words, that would not only make things less time consuming but solve my anxiety of structuring sentences, thinking about grammar, spelling and help me focus on my content.

Oh I say as I notice the dictate button on the corner of the word document-Let's see if this works…..

Using dicate……oh it does fantastic however I hate the sound of my own voice. Although I still have to think about grammar. Got a full stop started delete started no just posted deleted not riot a care dictate has trouble understanding the Hulk St home accent no home hat H you LL ho Just kind of fun this is kinda fun. Maybe not…….

It had trouble understanding my accent…… So I guess I'll have to type.

On March 23rd 2020 the UK government announced the Lockdown of the UK. At the beginning of March covid-19 (a strain of the coronavirus) hit the UK; a virus that had been sweeping the edge of the planet. The virus attacks the lungs and the immune system. For most people the virus will have mild symptoms, but for some the virus can be deadly and we are likely to see many more deaths. Social distancing has become the norm over the last few weeks and my hands are on their 4th layer of skin, but we need to do our bit to try and save as many people as possible. Yes it means we don’t see our families, friends or even watch and take part in sport; my one time I’m allowed out my house to exercise I now fully appreciate and have quickly come to learn to pack in as much as I can to my one and only daily venture out the house, otherwise I sit, procrastinate and let my anxiety take over.

So here I sit- after week one of lockdown, by myself, at the dining room table. My homemade pizza (I know right homemade pizza- may as well brush up on my cooking skills to, I’ll post my recipe later) I have decided to start to write. I’ve told myself not to think about my grammar, I just want to write.  I just want to see where this writing journey takes me.

And now 26th May 2020 after almost 2 months of procrastinating, writing paragraphs from time to time, I decided to take the leap of creating a platform where I can post. Like most people I needed a kick up the backside to get me going making myself write, even if its complete crap, to post something. (as well as a helping hand from a friend who regularly messages me have you posted yet, and giving me encouragement…..thankyou so much)

Most of the time its finding something to write about. I then thought about life.

My life- it’s not anything special- everyday- but the everyday is what I find relatable. Like someone conquering Everest is extraordinary and climbing Everest is on my bucket list; reading bout it is captivating. The views, the technique the struggles. But what about the views, the technique and struggle of life. Why can’t I share the simplicity of the everyday as well as the extra-ordinary? Like the impact of reading a book. Or the struggle of carrying a full washing basket up my own version of Everest (the stairs- I have my own technique for this by the way, and recently found a painful way of getting down) or sharing a story of the past, talking with someone you have never met before, a funny joke, a really cool tv programme, the product you’ve used, a craft project. The times that are happy the times that are sad. Finding a life hack or sharing positive/negative experience. Or your opinion. Like I think ever one should be entitled to their opinion, good or bad but I also feel people should be prepared that others think differently. Because each and every one of us is subjective to every aspect of life. Which is why I decided on How I Survive Life. My own life survival story for the and the trivial. Yeah there is probably a million other blogs like this- but none have the same experiences of me. We all see life through a different pair of eyes.

A little ask from me………

Now please- all I ask from you is your support- I always get these amazing ideas in my head “I’m going to do them”- but then I never have the balls to do it and I freeze, have a melt down and go back to my safe space and hide away from the world. I never take that Leap.

Well now I’m sucking up the courage- and I’m taking that jump.

I’m putting myself out there and taking every opportunity I can. You never know what’s going to happen, you never know what’s around the corner. I’m going to give it a go. So I’m asking you to hold my hand and support me, read my stuff, like it if you want, give me feedback, suggest your ideas too- oh I’m open to this!!

I’m sooo open to sharing ideas, sharing experiences and recommendations. Give me constructive feedback (now this is not slating, slagging off, trolling- its suggesting ways to improve, offering guidance)…..But if your going to hate it then don’t follow it, don’t read it, stay away from my posts- because this world is so full of negativity and bull that adding more to it is just not going to help. If you want to give me negativity than follow it through with things that could help, things to change and make it better. There is one thing that seems to be lacking in this world and that is helping each other. No person has made it by themselves there has always been someone giving them constructive criticism to guide them.

So here goes……. Welcome to my world, my life, and my brain. Welcome to ‘How I Survive Life’….. And I do hope you enjoy reading!

Lots of Love

Eliza-Meh xx

#life #lifestyle #whatsthis #whatsthisallabout #howisurvivelife #support

[purplesurveys]

782

Your ten favorite movies

Movie number one: Two for the Road (surprise surprise) 1) Who's the main actor? Audrey Hepburn and Albert Finney. 2) When did it come out? Pretty long time ago. It came out in 1967 if I’m not mistaken. 3) What's the genre? Romantic comedy and drama. 4) Do you know where it was filmed at? Yeah, as far as I know the whole film was shot on location throughout southern France. 5) How old were you when you saw it? I don’t actually remember the exact year anymore, but it was either in 2013 or 2014, which makes me 15 or 16 when I watched it for the first time.

Movie number two: Good Will Hunting 1) Who's an actress in this movie? Minnie Driver, and she did such a fantastic fucking job with her role.

2) Out of 10 stars you'd give it? 9.5. The part where Robin Williams and the actor playing the math teacher handle their differences was a bit blah for me, but the film was otherwise perfect. 3) Did it have a surprise ending? I wouldn’t call it a surprise. It was a well-deserved ending for the main character and I’m sure everyone who’s ever watched this movie rooted for such an ending as well. 4) How long was it? Around two hours? idk I never checked. 5) Did you first see it in theatres? Hahahaha definitely not. It came out five months before I was born. Movie number three: A Clockwork Orange 1) What's this movie rated? Like, in terms of parental advice or its score? I’m not sure so I’ll put both. The film in all its unedited glory got an X rating which is real fucking understandable given that, in my opinion, this was Kubrick’s most intense work; though in my research just now they were able to tone it down to R after Kubrick edited out a certain scene. As for its score, it holds an 87% in Rotten Tomatoes and 8.3/10 on IMDb. 2) Did critics approve of it? Critics definitely approved of it as a piece of film, but I’m sure it was very uncomfortable for the viewing public. 3) Who were you with when you saw it? I watched it on my own. I didn’t know what it was gonna be about, so I was in for the shock of my life when Alex and his droogs broke into the first house. 4) Did this movie make you cry? No but it made me feel uneasy. 5) Who are five actors/actresses in this movie? I only remember Malcolm MacDowell, who played the lead character. I’m honestly not familiar with the other actors. Movie number four: Revolutionary Road 1) Is the main actor your favorite actor? One of them is - Kate Winslet. I’m alright with Leonardo DiCaprio but he isn’t my favorite. 2) Do you know how old he is? Kate Winslet? Not so sure, but I think she’s like 45. 3) Did this movie make you laugh? This movie is not to be laughed at lol 4) Last time you watched it? A few months ago before they took it out of Netflix forever, ugh. 5) Are you the appropiate age to see it by yourself? Yes. And I would rather watch it by myself, because it’s a lot to take in. Movie number five: Gone with the Wind 1) What made you mad about this movie? The racism that surrounded the film makes me angry. For example, the actress who played Mammy (Hattie McDaniel) was the first black actor to be nominated for an Oscar, but she wasn’t even allowed to attend the ceremony where she was nominated in. It took one Clark Gable throwing a fit and threatening to boycott the event for the higher-ups to finally agree on Hattie attending the Oscars. 2) Was it based on a true story? It was based on real historical events, but the story itself wasn’t real. 3) Do you wish it was real in any way? It kinda was. 4) So what's it about, anyways? This is really not one of those movies you can explain in one sentence lol but uh rich privileged southern belle gets entangled in the Civil War, marries thrice and never for love, everyone around her dies, and once she’s left alone we see her fend for herself and start building a life of her own. That doesn’t even do the movie justice and if you really wanna know, best to watch all four hours of it. 5) Did they make a video game out of this movie? OMG no, that would be in such poor taste. Movie number six: Room 1) Did this movie bore you at any time? Not at all. It had me invested from start to finish. 2) Was there a kiss scene? I don’t know, I don’t think so. 3) Who was the protagonist (main character)? Brie Larson plays the lead role, but I’ve forgotten her character’s name, or if she even had one. 4) Have you seen this movie more than once? Absolutely. This was my favorite film for a brief period and I watched it everyday then. 5) Last time you saw it? 2016, probably. Movie number seven: Roman Holiday 1) What is this movie's genre? Romantic comedy. 2) Are there any kid actors in this movie? Nopes. 3) Where did it all take place? A biiiiiiig chunk of the movie was shot on location in Rome.  4) Who was the biggest star in the movie? Gregory Peck. Swoon. Fun movie fact! This was Audrey Hepburn’s feature film debut, and originally the studio was to give her a much smaller billing at the start of the movie compared to Gregory. He had an inkling Audrey was gonna end up super popular once the film got released, so he told the studio to give her equal billing, which technically made her also the big star in the movie alongside Gregory. He wasn’t wrong. 5) What year did it come out? 1953. Movie number eight: Requiem For A Dream 1) Main actor and/or actress? Oh dude, a lot. This movie didn’t fuck around with its cast lol you had Jared Leto, Ellen Burstyn, Jennifer Connelly, and Marlon Wayans. 2) Is this a one-time only movie? I have no idea what you mean by this. 3) Is it a sequel to anything? Nopes. 4) How much money did it make? Bruh I don’t know lmao? I’ll have to Google that - Wikipedia says it made $7.4 million. 5) Favorite part? It’s not my favorite part because it makes me happy, but for me the most memorable scene was when the mom was at the peak of her addiction and her refrigerator came to life. The montage in the end also gave me goosebumps. Movie number nine: Carol 1) When did you first see this movie? 2015. It was one of the factors that made Gab and I reconcile as friends, so I’m super thankful that this film allowed us to bond. 2) Did it take a second time for you to like it? Not at all. I was in love with it from the very beginning. 3) Does it have a happy ending? Yes. 4) Who would you recommend it to? People who want an LGBT film with a happy ending. 5) What's its theme song? It doesn’t really have one, but its score was composed by Carter Burwell. OH I just remembered Billie Holiday’s Easy Living was featured prominently in one scene, but it’s not really the movie’s theme song. Movie number ten: Portrait of a Lady on Fire 1) Do you still have the movie ticket? I think mine is still with Gabie, if she kept it. 2) Favorite part? Everything about this movie was beautiful. I loved when Héloïse’s dress caught on fire, when Marianne was drawing Héloïse in her sleep, when Marianne finally saw her vision come to life, when Marianne attended the exhibit and saw the painting of Héloïse...and that final fucking scene. 3) Were there any songs you knew in this movie? Nope. I don’t remember if they played any songs. 4) A quote from this movie: “In solitude, I felt the liberty you spoke of. But I also felt your absence.” and “Do all lovers feel they’re inventing something?” 5) Were the main actors/actresses a perfect match or not so much? Yes they FREAKING WERE AAAAHHHHHHHH Random Questions 1) Which one have you seen most on DVD? Gone with the Wind, but only because it’s the only film in this selection that I have on DVD. 2) Which one have you seen most in theatres? Other than Portrait, I didn’t get to catch these in the cinema. 3) Did your parents like any of them? They haven’t seen any of the movies I picked. 4) Which one did you see with your best friend? Carol and Portrait hahahaha, both lesbian movies. She was the one who made me watch them in the first place too. 5) Would you see #1 again? Over and over again. I will never grow tired of it. 6) Is #4 a movie you can only watch every once in a while? Yes, super accurate. The subject matter is very heavy to begin with, so pair that with superb acting and you’ve got yourself a movie that’s hard to get through. 7) Was #5 hard to understand? Only because it’s sooooo long and there are so many plots and subplots. Also, as someone who has never actually read about the Civil War in full detail, it has also hampered my understanding of some of the events in the movie. 8) Did you see #2 the day it came out? I didn’t see it until like, 18 years after its original release. 9) Do you have #3's movie ticket still? I never had it to begin with. 10) Are there any sequels to these movies coming out? As far as I know, no. 11) Does your best friend like #9? Gabie’s very in love with it. She once kept count of how many times she had watched it when it first leaked on the internet loooool and if I remember correctly her watch count peaked at 126. 12) Did #10 have horrible special effects? No. 13) Who directed #6? Lenny Abrahamson. 14) Did #8 scare you? Absolutely. I needed a long-ass break from everything after I finished it lmao. 15) Does #7 have a better effect at night? No. The effect has been the same for me whatever time I watch it.

#survey #surveys

[crazy-talk]

As promised, here’s a little large compilation sort of thing of little moments and memories from SBFP that you folks have submitted. I really appreciate everything that you’ve all submitted, it’s pretty clear that SBFP helped and entertained a whole lot of people - in equal amounts.

Here’s some SBFP moments:

Grand Wizard Wakka

The Shitstorm VII Woolie haunting plan

“What a mysterious game.”

MY HOUSE

“Wait, what’s my objectives?” “You don’t haaave any objectives!”

Qui Gon Chi

“Whah happuh?” “das whah happuh!”

“No, shut up though.”

The Baby

“Shut the fuck up about Face/Off!”

“Bleetzboll...”

The Sadness Trilogy

“KIDS LOVE THE FOCKIN’ DEVIL!”

Pat thinking he’s dying because he sat on a chocolate bar

Kenpachi Ramasama

Shit-kids

“Whut deh fuhk? Is he using duh bät room?”

Mr. Shakedown/Kenny/Quint/Eric Sparrow

TAR-KUS! TAR-KUS! TAR-KUS!

“Love is just chemicals.”

Pat eating candy alone in a closet

Matt throwing the fire axe

“Oh no, I make’da bad game!”

“Hey, is that the script?”

“JAAASON!”

“It’s fine.”

The RE2 valve noise

“Yeyeyeye!”

Woolie’s atomic purple Gameboy

“Eyy, what’s goin’ on, man? You ready to play?”

And some SBFP memories. Some of these may be a bit emotionally heavy so feel free to skip this part:

the sbfp lp of yakuza 0 got me and my best friend into the yakuza series. we watched it together and we still laugh about matt falling to pieces over "never-before-seen results" - Anon

the best friends have had such an influence on my speech patterns that i've infected people who've never watched them before. half of my friend group says super big [x] and porked up now - Anon

SBFP introduced me to so many games that ended up becoming personal favorites of mine, like Deadly Premonition and the Silent Hill series. Their videos became a way for me to spend time with some of my own best friends as well! -  captainofthestars

theres one particular moment that will always resonate with me - in their devil may cry lets play, i cant remember if it was 1 or 3, they talk about someone in the comments who mentioned that they had to beat devil may cry with items due to having a physical disability of some kind, i cant remember which. they talked about how it was awesome that he managed to even beat the game like that, and, personally, as someone who struggles with motorskills issues this made me very happy, as a devil may cry fan. theres a lot of other great moments from the tbfp, both funny and genuine that made me happy, but this one in particular stuck with me a lot. -  krillfingers

I'll never stop making "pull out king" jokes thanks to sbfp - venerabledreadnought

I remember the first Shitstorm that made me actually have to get up and sit in a brightly lit room with other people in it, Anatomy. It's become a Halloween tradition to watch it every year since, though watching a whole bunch of Shitstorm also became one. As someone who started watching at their second machinma ep, it's not a lie to say that they made up the entirety of my teenage years. I will miss the channel dearly, but I look forward to the future. -  duke-nitro

My friends and I have been watching The Zaibatsu for so long that we have accidentally adopted a bunch of their phrases like going “yeahyeahyeahyeahyeah” or saying someone “go down.” Also, despite us not knowing each other when we became fans, we all somehow began with their Man vs Wild let’s play and I even made friends with one of them because I quoted something from it at work. Favorite moment probably has to be the entire Omikron playthrough, I can’t pick a single moment. It was a beautiful trainwreck start to finish and I still put on the playlist from time to time while I’m doing other things. I swear I could gently fall asleep to the sounds of Pat screaming about the shooter segments. shogun-ceanataur

Persona 4 and Kenpachi Ramasama were my favourite. I found the name itself hilarious, but how they kept on referring to him as the full name in different little bits and tones never failed to make me laugh. That “See you later, fuckers!” part from when you see Yosuke was also hilarious. I’m not sure if that video is the oeigin, but it’s why I’ve integrated that phrase into my everyday life. Goddamn what a fun, memorable episode. - whatthehellisthisevenfor

tbfp got me through being homeless in my car twice. every time that I wanted to give up, to just stop trying, i'd turn on whatever new video they had out and it brightened up my life. my mom, who was with me, came to love them to, she used to wait to hear them to relax. i have so many memories of that time, and i don't fully relax or even eat on long days until I've turned their videos on. my favorite quote is still "mistakes into miracles". its a rly motivating quote imo. -  c0l0c4k3s

I always loved the Silent Hill 2 LP. I never played it when it came out - all I knew was that it was a horror game, and I hated horror at the time. But when the LP came around, I knew a bit more about the game and I was intrigued. Seeing the game, meeting the characters, hearing Pat disect the story and themes for Matt, I loved it all. I was fascinated, and still am. I will still watch the LP every few months, and I call SH2 one of my favorite games, even though I still haven’t played it.Thanks, SBFP, for all the great moments and the great memories. I wish you all well. - iamthewanderingbard

The best friends are what got me so invested in the Dark souls games, and what motivated me to get through DS2. Even if I say 'You see what i mean' unironically a lot, and go 'You. Did it.' -  awkwardmuses

I got into Super Best Friends from a post on the Twin Perfect forum, that linked to the Silent Hill Downpour lp, and never looked back. Their let's plays brought me so much joy back when I wasn't in the best living or health situation, and continue to do so. My favourite let's plays have to be Eternal Darkness and the Shitstorms; I always go back to those when depression hits, or for any reasons. I'll miss them together, but I'll always have those delicious delicious memories. -  mrjaffesxeldritchtwin

The Best Friends Play are the reason I end so many sentences with "though". I first found them when a friend recommended the Best Sisters Play MLP animations, and I've loved them ever since. I know it's used as a joke, but I really believe they've earned the title of HYPEST GAMEPLAY ON YOUTUBE. I love all of their David Cage playthroughs, and I adore how many plot-points they guess during Beyond: Two Souls. I love how, when they play a game they really love, they show so much knowledge and care. -  mads-in-zero

It was incredibly amusing and oddly touching that the Zaibatsu created this hate circle of David Cage and his godawful games. Even before Detroit’s release, the best friends AND the fanbase were ready to hate it because as a collective, we just latched onto that one thing to hate/make fun of. And we go all out on it together like some fucked up family, and I love it. -  missinghmmingbird

I can’t help but shrug off every minor inconvenience and major issue in my life with “it’s fine” thanks to Gun Jumper Liam. Thanks to Matt and Woolie supporting Skullgirls like no one else on the internet, I really got into it and fighting games as a whole. I’m not good at them, but oh boy do I love them.And if it wasn’t for Pat, I don’t think I’d ever have touched a Yakuza or Persona game.These guys affected my life more than any other individual or group on the internet ever really has. -  dklordg

The first Best Friends video I ever watched was Portal 2. That short LP had me in stitches. I'd never laughed so hard. I've been a huge fan since then. These guys where the ones that introduced me to LPs and made me realize that you can have fun watching other people bumble through games. TheSw1tcher has been one of my favorite channels on YouTube since I began watching. It gave me something to look forward to. I got through high school, and essentially grew up, watching these videos. There are so many catchphrases and memes I will never forget and will always make me smile. I absolutely say stuff like “whah happun?” and “shit-kids” all the time. The Deadly Premonition and Detroit: Become Human playthroughs are wonderful gems in my eyes. It’s amazing how a group of guys can get so many people to collectively love and bash certain games. We’re all on the same page, having a blast like a huge group of friends at a slumber party. Matt, Pat, Woolie, Liam, Billy, and everyone who involved themselves with the Super Best Friends are the absolute best. They gave me a chance to relax and laugh along with some familiar voices. Although it's sad they are going their separate ways, I totally respect that fact. They have my love and support. I wish them nothing but success and happiness moving forward. I'll be watching! And a note to my fellow fans: This has been a wild ride. I'm glad I got to enjoy it with you. You are all fantastic people. -  fablesamongus

#Text post #Comp post #super best friends play #SBFP #Two Best Friends Play #TBFP

[aspiringhorrorauthor]

Hey who wants to hear the miserable story about how I had to deal with loneliness this year? Feel free to scroll on I just need to write it down to, I suppose close the chapter on the story? Read if your curious, or maybe also need guidance, or just want to learn some tips on how to help someone dealing with it. This will be poorly structured it’s just... getting it off my chest I guess.

People talk sometimes about university students often struggling with loneliness, and often going overlooked because they’re not seen as ‘vulnerable’ as other populations. I mean, look! They’re in a city! They go out every night and piss off the locals! They can’t be lonely!

It started back in 2018 (yup, that far back), when my friends decided that it would be better for my mental health if I didn’t live with them. No lie, that was the actual fucking reason. I was heartbroken; I’ve missed out on a lot of typical “growing up! Yay!” Type things because of my mental health, trauma and bullying and the fact that “living with friends” was gonna be added to the list was fucking heart breaking. But I dealt with it, because I had no where else to turn. No one else to move in with. I cried for like 2 hours solid after they so sweetly told me they didn’t want to live with me because I have *anxiety*. Not even one of the quote unquote “””scary””” mental illnesses (which would have been a MAJOR dick move), just plain old anxiety attacks and hiding from people to calm down. I proceeded to have break downs every Wednesday for 3 months while searching for somewhere to live, bc it was always a stabbing reminder that I was so unwanted.

(They planned to move in with 2 other people so it’s not even like they were only searching for a flat to fit *just* them)

I study 300 miles away from home, literally the exact opposite part of the country. Despite not having many friends growing up I was never lonely because I had a great family who would always chase it away. Maybe I was lonely a bit at school, but I could always come home and my parents chased it away. It was recurrent, but not constant.

I got a place for the new academic year. Studio flat, great location, tiny and over priced to Hell but I was in a safe area which was great because *no one was looking out for me anymore*. I didn’t have flat mates to check I was alive everyday, no one to chat to when I got home. If I got sick, I was completely on my own. My next door neighbour is lovely, don’t get me wrong, but she’s a working professional, and I’m a second year student. Everyone else in studio flats are mature students, masters, phD students or working people. And me. I have so little in common with these people it’s tough to start a conversation with them.

My birthday is early in the academic year, so we didn’t celebrate it until about a month after. Half of my friends didn’t even bother, no card, no presents. Okay, fine, I’m not materialistic, but acknowledgement would have been nice I suppose. This is the only time they came around my flat, and they are the cake I baked to celebrate.

But they inexplicably started to just stop interacting with me. There were 5 of us, they’d pair up in lectures and only talk between themselves between lectures and left me sat quietly trying to speak to someone, ANYONE, because hello? I haven’t got FLATMATES. I talk to NO ONE outside of this “friendship” group. They don’t seem to care much, they just keep telling me how wonderful it must be to live in a studio.

They invited me round to celebrate another friend’s birthday at their shared flat. He gets presents from everyone, including the two that left me out. Their flat looks lived in, there’s board games out while I don’t have room for any of them in mine. They’ve got bean bags everywhere it looks so damn nice. “But your kitchen is bigger than ours!” Eve tried to tell me (an absolute LIE), but they don’t roll out of bed and immediately land in the kitchen. They don’t have to chose between watching tv, eating or living the flat any time they want to dry clothes bc there’s no room. I want to cry throughout the visit, I storm off once were done. I don’t know why. I know now.

Loneliness feels like a weight on your chest. It’s a double edged sword where both edges only cut you. You desperately seek interaction but it also upsets you. I wanted to hang out at their flat because I hadn’t hung out with them in nearly a month at this point, but when I got there I realised they hung out together every. Single. Night. While I cried alone in my room. It made everything so much worse. And they laughed it off.

They stopped posting in the group chat, they talked to me even less. Never invited me out, but there’s no way I could prove *they* went out so it was pointless complaining about it. I was meant to go to a concert with one of them, I reminded her about tickets an entire month before, offered to buy hers. She cancelled 5 hours beforehand. I went alone.

It was a Toyah concert. I fought back sobs in the opening song “Good morning universe”, because it repeatedly asks “how are you today?”. I was awful. I finally had it figured out. I was lonely, isolated, and I didn’t know what to do.

Before anyone gets too sad, the story only continues for 2 weeks past this concert.

1st November, they joke about how Blake, friend number 4, practically lives at their flat, and I get angry. Why does HE get to live there? Blake has flatmates, Blake’s not alone! I should be practically living there because there’s NOTHING in my flat but silence. The internet is on the fritz and I’ve yet to figure out the tv, I don’t even have background noise except the kettle! I storm off, vow to never interact with them again.

I go out for drinks with my neighbour for her birthday. She buys me a pint of coke bc I don’t drink. I hate coke, but I drink it all and chat with her friends. It was a great night.

That weekend I bake pumpkin cake and bread for knitting society, and calm down. I overreacted a bit surely. One more chance, that’s all I’ll give them. The cake and bread doesn’t all get eaten at the society so I bring some for them on the Monday.

Tuesday night is bonfire night. I sit in my flat wishing I could go out and see them rather than just hear them, but I don’t know where to go. I have no one to go with.

Wednesday im sat in lectures beside them, and a friend not in the group but still a friend comes over to chat. One of them excitedly tells her about how they went to a display last night “look at these photos I got of (friend in group)!” I ask if they went out last night, the phone is quickly put away, they ignore me. I ask again. The friend outside of the group is confused and leaves before the lecture starts. I spend 3 hours with loneliness ripping out my lungs, because how could they? They could’ve dropped me a message to say they were going and I could meet up, but they didn’t even do that? Why?

After the lectures finished I corner one of them. The first of my friends at university. The first person on my course I befriended. “Did you go out last night?” “Yes” “without me?” Another runs up “it was last minute it wasn’t planned!” Laughs it off. So I rush off. I don’t say good bye. That was it.

I went home and cried. Told my parents what happened. Cried down the phone to them. “It’s time to cut ties with them”. I know it is. It’s still hard.

So yeah. Miserable story. But any sad story should have a happy ending, right?

Yes.

The next day I told someone what had happened. She immediately called it bullshit and invited me to join her friends. They’re really nice. I like them.

I left the old group chat. No explanation, just “I’m hanging out with X now. Laters” and I left. I wrote my frustrations and explanation in a shitty poem, called it shitty in the poem itself, but also said they didn’t deserve better. They didn’t deserve even that, so I didn’t send it. I think it was a very sexy decision of mine.

But most importantly, through the hardest points, most of my weekly socialisation every week came from the two societies im part of: my society (knitting) and the nerd society. 4 1/2 hours a week of socialising isn’t enough, surprisingly. But it got me through.

But more importantly are the people I met there. I don’t want to tell them what happened, I fear they’ll be upset that they didn’t help more, but they helped so damn much. So much more than could ever be expected from anyone. That final Wednesday, when I’d cried my heart out, 2 people texted me out of the blue and lifted my spirits so much I laughed that evening where I’d cried in the day. Stupid texts too. “Baby rabbits and kittens, cos you’re a vet right?” And “I only just got this message, I would have LOVED some pumpkin cake 🙁”. Poor lads probably weren’t expecting the wild conversations we had afterwards but friendships blossomed from it. Sorry new friend, hope you like the cheese scone recipe you definitely did NOT see coming that day.

The society meets on a Thursday, but it was to be a video watching thing more than a social thing. Loneliness was still tearing me up inside, I wanted to talk to someone damnit! But I went because I needed cheering up. I laughed so hard, I sang theme songs with others, and we all went to the pub afterwards. I’d never been before, I planned to leave at half 10 so I could shower and go to sleep in reasonable time for a 9am lab. I got chatting to the cake boy at 22:25. By the time we left the bar and he’d had his fill of chocolate rolls at my flat (I offered, he was hungry and Sainsbury’s was closed) and I was in bed, it was 00:40. Oops.

But I wasn’t lonely anymore.

Whats there to learn? I suppose don’t take advantage of your friends. If someone is living alone, check on them OFTEN. Make sure you don’t just pair up for conversations in lectures. Invite people round more.

And don’t under estimate the power of a text message. The lack of one ruined one friendship, one daft one about pumpkin cake built another.

(And I baked cookies for my new friends and we ate them in front of the old friends. Get rekt).

#long post #loneliness

[eleventhousandfour]

tagged by @arcaydyin – thank you so much!

nickname: emma is such a short name anyway so i don’t really need a nickname haha but em / emm gender: female astrological sign: aquarius... no idea what my sun / moon / rising sign is, i just know i’m aquarius ! height: 6 ft… but tbh i never actually made it to 6ft, i never got that tall! :( i’m like a centimetre short i’m like 182cm i think so i’m technically 5’11 but 6ft sounds better hahaa sexuality: i like girls! and if you wanna put a label on that then i’m a lesbian / gay hogwarts house: definitely ravenclaw but there’s a bit of hufflepuff in me too! favorite animals: i find loads of animals cool but i suppose my favourites are arctic foxes and seahorses… wouldn’t it be so funny though if my patronus was a seahorse, like imagine it just sorta bobbing about in the air, that would be amazing...  number of blankets: if you mean number of duvets then 1 + sometimes a blanket / quilt if im cold in the winter where i’m from: the uk! dream trip: i wanna go to so many places but a) money b) I don’t have a travel buddie bc all my friends are ‘party all night!’ type people and im not lol and c) im too shy to travel on my own and make friends along the way haha when i made this account: i created it in december 2011 i think why i created this account: all my friends were getting tumblrs and i didn’t want to feel left out lol followers: a lady never tells……. jokes I have 383, it would help if more of my posts actually went in the frigging tags !!  following: too many... i will check – 2,609 wow that is too many, though i reckon a lot of those are dead / inactive the last thing I googled: ‘does tango orange have caffeine in it’ because i was ordering a takeaway online and i am avoiding caffeine… but the answer was inconclusive, and i couldn’t be bothered to waste time finding out the answer i just wanted my greek food so instead i ordered a 7up lol :) favorite musicians: sigrid is my absolute fave! also aurora and lorde and some others i like are passion pit, banks, daughter, london grammar, of monsters and men, bon iver, the xx and at the moment anything esc 2019 ofc! song stuck in your head: kill this love by blackpink do you get asks: i occasionally get asks… i got a few from an anon about skam spain the other day that made me ridiculously happy bc i never get asks haha amount of sleep: i used to be sooo good at sleeping but now it varies so much and i definitely don’t get enough… i reckon i get around 6/7 hours a night but i have discovered i can survive on like 5/6 hours... lucky number: 4 and 24 what are you wearing: dark grey skinny jeans and a t-shirt from uniqlo with a marimekko design on it... it has a blue background and white spots, but its now almost too big for me because ive lost so much weight (losing weight is a good thing because i was totally overweight and didn’t feel healthy) but because its too big it’s almost getting uncomfortable to wear bc theres just so much fabric that’s just not needed anymore lol!! it’s a little frustrating bc its one of my favourite t-shirts and its so pretty so i cant stop myself from wearing it! dream job: honestly? i don’t know... i’ve often said my dream job would be a film / tv location scout but then i have begun to realise that not all parts of the job appeal to me... like i know that i have an insane natural talent at finding out where places are filmed (and to do that i can happily spend hours looking on google maps and researching things) and that has translated into me thinking ‘that’s what a location scout does!’ but then actually, would i really be spending all my time looking at google maps and researching places? no, i probably would not... the job would be so much more than that. also would my enthusiasm disappear if it was my actual job? my passion for finding out where places are filmed is because im a) hella nosy and b) really interested in the movie / tv show / actor so i want to find it out because i just have to know and it’s fun but would that still be the case if i actually worked as a location scout? who knows! so basically i have no idea what my dream job is hahaa... instruments: i unfortunately can’t play any musical instruments because i am untalented and don’t have the patience, i blame my brother and my cousins for stealing all the musical genes in my family… languages: i speak english and english only... but there are some yiddish and scots words that occasionally crop up when im talking thanks to my family’s heritage, but i dont speak any other languages... i learnt french and spanish at school but i found them very hard and never really enjoyed learning them, although i did get a b in french at gcse so i was alright i guess but i reckon thanks to crisana and juliantina i have learnt more spanish in the past few months than i did during the two years i learnt spanish at school haha...  favorite songs: ugh i have too many faves, but sight of you by sigrid, the seed by aurora, radio gaga by queen. dancing with myself by billy idol, be the one by dua lipa, to the other side by passion pit, ribs by lorde, 33 god by bon iver, dog days are over by florence + the machine, video killed the radio star by the buggles to name but a few… random fact: ???!! i guess a random fact is that i find it impossible to come up with random facts about myself! aesthetic: exploring new places, quoting random lines from poetry or films, going to supermarkets in foreign countries, saying ‘i love you’ spontaneously, posing for endless photos in endless pretty locations, watching the sunset over a city while listening to music, enjoying the magical loveliness of everyday life…

im tagging @theelephantsvanish @etherealpondsx @lexa-el-amin @allyoursecrets @annatorvsgf @frenchcutcarrot @supuswnt @hillyan @celmurcia 

#about me #i rambled on a lot as usual lol #now i will concentrate on watching the 2nd eurovision semi final haha

[1112lw]

Every question!!

SDFFSDFG DAM OK SIS

LONG POST AHEAD IF U LITERALLY WANNA KNOW ME PERSONALLY JUST READ THIS LMFAO

1: Name: Arche/Jupiter, my close friends know my real name so!

2: Age: High school has just been done so try to guess

3: Fears: Heights, oral presentations, the dark

4: 3 things I love: Drawing, men- concept art n stuff like that

5: 4 turns on: Oh here we go- uhh thighs, messy hair? when they give u The Look or when they. say things i will not talk about here HHGBDF n uhhh Arms 👀👀

6: 4 turns off: weird macho attitude, overly confident bullshit, being selfish and fuckboys in general

7: My best friend: not sure what this means but my bff is named Daphnée n i love her and ive known her my whole life so 

8: Sexual orientation: homosexuale

9: My best first date: :))))))) as if

10: How tall am I: sigh. I’m 5″4

11: What do I miss: sometimes i miss the feeling loved ig

12: What time were I born: 12:19

13: Favourite color: pink!

14: Do I have a crush

15: Favourite quote: My senior quote!! “if what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, I’m telling you I’m immortal”

16: Favourite place: well? my room ig? I like my yard too

17: Favourite food: ugh ramen,,,korean dishes are TASTE as fuck but i also like classic ass spaghetti so like lol

18: Do I use sarcasm: does it look like i dont

19: What am I listening to right now: dr.phil LMFAO

20: First thing I notice in new person: Hair and eyes!! also how they laugh

21: Shoe size: Like. a 7-8 in women’s 6 in men’s 

22: Eye color: Hazel/Golden yes bitch let me be special

23: Hair color: it’s either dark brown or golden brown idk

24: Favourite style of clothing: bruv its either kpoppie fuckboy or uwu skirts pastels

25: Ever done a prank call?: no i have anxiety

26: Meaning behind my URL:

27: Favourite movie: rise of the guardians and HTTYD

28: Favourite song: Comeback Home (BTS cover)

29: Favourite band: looks in the camera i dont know nan molla huh

30: How I feel right now: I’m fine im hungry

31: Someone I love: shoutout to my babeys in my server ily

32: My current relationship status: Single(tm)

33: My relationship with my parents: theyre fine ig just a bit tired

34: Favourite holiday:

35: Tattoos and piercing I have: Ear piercings? that’s it

36: Tattoos and piercings I want:

37: The reason I joined Tumblr:

38: Do I and my last ex hate each other? I sure hope not?

39: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? A bit ig?

40: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? Literally no

41: When did I last hold hands? Like last Friday

42: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? 20 minutes

43: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? no i havent shaved in like months

44: Where am I right now? in my room, in quebec, canada

45: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? bitch i sure hope my friends would

46: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? fuck my ears 

47: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? yeah

48: Am I excited for anything? yeah? yeah

49: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? ig? always

50: How often do I wear a fake smile? just at work tbh

51: When was the last time I hugged someone? not long ago i cant tell but my friends r cuddle monsters so 

52: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? i havent kissed anyone so 

53: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? lemme think uhhh no not rlly im not dumb 

54: What is something I disliked about today? i woke up n i thought i had school lol

55: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? oh john cock i want to be ur best friend

56: What do I think about most? i daydream 24/7

57: What’s my strangest talent? uhhh i can put my thumb behind my hand?

58: Do I have any strange phobias? trypophobia, if thats “weird”

59: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? depends on what the video is, mostly behind

60: What was the last lie I told? idk answering to my deadname

61: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? online

62: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? I slightly believe in ghosts? also aliens GOTTA exist so 

63: Do I believe in magic? i think!

64: Do I believe in luck? yeah

65: What’s the weather like right now? very pretty i filmed a video outside!!

66: What was the last book I’ve read? L’Étranger d’Albert Camus in french class

67: Do I like the smell of gasoline? yes my dad’s a mechanic

68: Do I have any nicknames? a lot a lot

69: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? bitch @ my birth #neverforget 

70: Do I spend money or save it? i have 40$ in my name right now

71: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? no

72: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? yes highlighter

73: Favourite animal? cats or otters

74: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? FBISDFD NO WE DONT TALK ABOUT IT

75: What do I think is Satan’s last name idk he can have any last name he wants!!!

76: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? everytime i start hearing “waiting for you anpanman” or “i just wanna go home” 👀👀

77: How can you win my heart? aaahh. be a twink. b fashionable. b funny. cheesy. pls romance me like a npc in the sims 2

78: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? s(he) died smh

79: What is my favorite word? cunt is SUCH a satisfying word

80: My top 5 blogs on tumblr? oh great uh honestly cant be fucked 

81: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? please have brain. PLEASE

82: Do I have any relatives in jail? i sure hope the fuck not?

83: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? either invisibility or mind reading

84: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? ahaaa “what are your intrusive thoughts”

85: What is my current desktop picture? my lesbian sims getting married LMFAO

86: Had sex? no

87: Bought condoms? no

88: Gotten pregnant? NO

89: Failed a class? i think yeah maths last year

90: Kissed a boy? :(((

91: Kissed a girl? no

92: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? no

93: Had job? I have a job rn so 

94: Left the house without my wallet? yeah when i go to school

95: Bullied someone on the internet? define bullying?

96: Had sex in public? virgin squad

97: Played on a sports team? yeah

98: Smoked weed? no ew

99: Did drugs? no ew

100: Smoked cigarettes? NO EW

101: Drank alcohol? yep 

102: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? no i’d die

103: Been overweight? i’m twig

104: Been underweight? i think i was underweight when i was young? i was very Small

105: Been to a wedding? yes very long boring

106: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? bruh. everyday

107: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? probably?

108: Been outside my home country? ONCE

109: Gotten my heart broken? TWICE !

110: Been to a professional sports game? yesss canadians game!!

111: Broken a bone? no

112: Cut myself? not technically 

113: Been to prom? SOON SOON SOON SOSOSNSBFSHDD

114: Been in airplane? once

115: Fly by helicopter? i am not rich bitch

116: What concerts have I been to? noneeee- WAIT NO MARIE MAI

117: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? not sex but for the purpose of pretending i have a penis yes plenty

118: Learned another language? yeah!! i learned english, i almost learned spanish and i’m trynna learn korean now

119: Wore make up? i try!! but i’m not super good

120: Lost my virginity before I was 18? not 18 yet but it’s goin that way

121: Had oral sex? as if 

122: Dyed my hair? i wishhh

123: Voted in a presidential election? I WISH THE ELECTIONS R ONE MONTH B4 MY BIRTHDAY 

124: Rode in an ambulance? nope

125: Had a surgery? yes at a week old 

126: Met someone famous? i think yes but i was super small

127: Stalked someone on a social network? define stalked?

128: Peed outside? yes

129: Been fishing? YES

130: Helped with charity? i think? we do volunteering so 

131: Been rejected by a crush? not directly

132: Broken a mirror? no 

133: What do I want for birthday? boyf......boy..boyff

134: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? oh man uhh maybe 2-3, i dont know their names yet honestly

135: Was I named after anyone? MY DAD NAMED ME AFTER A FUCKIN CLIENT HE MET. as for my actual name now I named myself after my fav video game character. lit

136: Do I like my handwriting? yeah!!

137: What was my favourite toy as a child? bitch hot wheels

138: Favourite Tv Show? hells kitchen,,,,judge judy,,,anythin like that

139: Where do I want to live when older? honestly i wish i could just live in japan or tokyo, or new york? but i will most likely end up in montreal 

140: Play any musical instrument? i used to play the clarinet last year!!

141: One of my scars, how did I get it? the one on my knee, i scratched my desk with my knee 

142: Favourite pizza toping? my dad makes AMAZING sea food pizzas,,,

143: Am I afraid of the dark? a lot

144: Am I afraid of heights? A LOT

145: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? idk prolly? im a bit of a goody two shoes or however u spell it

146: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end: dont we all

147: What I’m really bad at: organizing my anxiety n shit i get overwhelmed

148: What my greatest achievments are: finishing high school 

149: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: honestly has to be that time someone dug up my vent post about being dysphoric to try to say i hated myself with some dumbass DySphorIa Is SelF HaTRed argument

150: What I’d do if I won in a lottery: pay my parents’ debt off, buy 284223$ of BT21 merch, pay my whole college/uni and transition

151: What do I like about myself: idk i like how i literally do not give a fuck anymore and ive learned to love myself instead of trynna care

152: My closest Tumblr friend: @peptobismol-official​ @ace-landofthesun​ @dorkalisious​ and ana but idk her @ anymore :((( ana pls

153: Something I fantasise about: we dont talk about that

154: Any thoughts on the paranormal?: lit. please stop crawling in my ceiling !

ok now that u know my whole biography. go doxx me ig. bye bye

#Arche.txt #asks #ask #long post

[somethingsohappily]

1-100, beautifullll! 😂😘😎

1. When, where, and how did you meet?We met on tumblrdotcom on August 6th (babe, is it the 6th?) I sent her a message and complimented her blog, she then followed me, and I sent her another message apologizing for all the One Direction because I thought she was cooler than me. Then basically we started talking a lot/daily and here we are!

2. What did you first notice about each other?I’m gonna be real honest, i thirst followed my girlfriend, and thought she was hot. Also I liked how she thought about things, felt like I really connected with her personal posts on here. But like, I thought she was hot y’all. 

3. Who first asked the other out?She asked me out officially, but I was the one to admit I had feelings for her first. (with prompting from Sammy) Which I did when she was sleeping and then I didn’t sleep because i was panicking that I sent it in a text. 

4. Where was your first date?Babe, real question, what do we count as a date? Are we talking Skyping? Are we talking when you took me out to dinner when I visited? 

5. Who was first to verbally say “I love you”?Morgannnn, because I had basically told her before we were even together that I’d be scared to say it first ever again after a previous relationship. Which she said on October 7th btws. 

6. How did your first kiss happen? Who initiated it?Ummmm our first kiss was in her car in the airport parking lot, Morgan asked so I think that means she initiated it :) 

7. When is your anniversary?November 7th 

8. How long have you been together?Officially 6 months, though we basically were dating in September

9. What made you realize you were in love with her?It’s sounds silly to say you ‘just know’ but I guess I just kind of knew. It was just this very intense connection and very safe feeling, it was different than how I’d ever felt towards a person. Like realizing this was the person I wanted to see everyday, and share everything with, and really couldn’t picture not having in my life. I don’t know if there was an exact moment, at least for me. 

10. Where you friends before you became a couple?Yes, though we’d only been friends for like a month before feelings got admitted. But we talked a lot/shared a ton before we got together. 

11. Were either of you out before becoming a couple?Both of us were already out!

12. Have either of you dated a girl before?We both have! 

13. How does your girlfriend define her sexuality?Gayyyyyyyy, she is a lesbian

14. When is your girlfriend’s birthday (month/day/year)? Who is older?Morgan is older by five years (she’s a little old lady), her birthday is April 15th 1987 

15. Do you live together?We do not, we didn’t actually lesbian uhaul… yet

16. Have you met your girlfriend’s parents? If so, what was that like?Over Skype I met her mom! She’s very sweet, very southern, she was teaching Morgan to cook and making sure she was eating enough. I was very nervous, but I look forward to meeting her and the rest of Morgan’s family in person. 

17. How many people are in your girlfriend’s family?Immediate, 4 including her. Though I think her grandma, aunt, brother in law, and niece get to be included. (Especially Brantley :) )

18. Whose family do you hang out with more?Neither really because of that whole distance thing! Though my parents always want to Skype her and want to pass along things, so I think mine would like to ‘hangout’ more if they could. 

19. Are you friends with any other same sex couples?Sammy and Bailey! But sadley, I don’t think I have that many other gay friends in same sex relationships. 

20. What is a typical date night like for you two?Considering the distance, it’s usually watching movies. But if we’re together and I’m not dying of the plague we have a lot more plans and stuff we’d go do. 

21. How do you usually spend your time together?Usually just hanging out on Skype, talking, watching movies, doing separate activities while having Skype on (coloring/drawing, playing guitar, cooking, chores, etc) 

22. Have you ever been mistaken for sisters?YES by people at her church!

23. Have you ever experienced any discrimination or prejudice becasue you are a same sex couple?So far no thankfully! 

24. Does anyone you know disapprove of your relationship?Not because we’re gay, but I’ve had some people get weird about the distance. I think a lot of people have very little faith in long distance so i’ve felt judged for it by some/or like they didn’t view it as ‘real’. 

25, How much PDA do you do?Again, long distance means not a lot. And I think we keep it pretty low-key, we aren’t like making out in your local park or anything! 

26. What nationality is your girlfriend?Does this mean if she’s from the US? We both live in the US. 

27. What is your girlfriend’s middle name?Ashley! (babe I hope it’s cool im telling the internet this!) 

28. Who usually pays when you go out to eat?We both would like to be the one that usually pays when the other visits, however we’re both stubborn and won’t let the other one do that! 

29. What is your girlfriend’s number labeled as in your cell phone?💙 Morgan💙

30. Do you have any pet names for each other?Just the typical: babe, baby, my love, sweetheart stuff. We’re gross! 

31. Does your girlfriend have any pets?She does not, though she almost stole a cat from the parking lot the other day, and I think we’ve mutually adopted a dumpster cat that i’ve named otis. 

32. Have you ever worn your girlfriend’s clothes?Yeah, I stole her flannel and wore her shirts when I was visiting. 

33. Who is more likely to cook a meal?Definitely me! 

34. What is your girlfriend’s favorite food? Least favorite food?Favorite food is meatloaf, least favorite food is mushrooms 

35. Who is more likely to cry for no reason?I mean, usually there’s a ‘reason’ for someone crying, and we both are pretty emotional. But I cry all the time, so probs me! 

36. Can your girlfriend play any musical instruments?I almost said no and was like, ‘no wait guitars are an instrument’ so yes, she plays guitar! 

37. Who is your girlfriend’s favorite musical artist?So I’m terrible and forgot even though she’s told me. I think Mumford and Sons is one of them, though I know there are more! 

38. What is your girlfriend’s current favorite song?I don’t know. I hope it’s “Strip That Down” by Liam Payne though

39. Do you have a couple song?When she asked me out she learned that song “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran on her guitar for me. So that one reminds me of her, even though its being severely overplayed on the radio right now. But I don’t know if that would be ‘our song”?

40. Do you have a couple name?Like… a ship name… ? No, thank god. 

41. What is your girlfriend’s best physical feature?Her eyes, and smile, and freckles 😘

42. Who is more likely to forget where they put things?I think we’re both forgetful, but I think that’s probably me. She’s always reminding me to put my debit card back in my wallet so i don’t lose it. 

43. Which side of the bed do you each sleep on?I sleep on the left (if you’re facing the bed) and I think right now she’s more on the right? I’m basing this off where the laptop is. 

44. Who hogs the blankets/sheets more when sleeping together?I don’t think either of this did this, but it’s likely me because i like being a blanket burrito

45. What do you argue/fight about the most?What I’ve considered arguments/fights are not things she views as arguments/fights. But this is one of those things I don’t feel cool getting into over the internet! 

46. How do you usually get over a argument/fight?We talk about it!

47. Does your girlfriend have an angry/annoyed/you’re in trouble stare? If so, show it!Ummmm I’d call it more a ‘mom look’ and it usually happens more over me saying I’m not tired or that nothing is wrong. It’s more like a ‘are you serious?’ look vs angry/annoyed. ALSO. Time to quote my favorite video of all time, “you’re not in trouble, you’re my wife’ is basically how I feel about that statement in general when it comes to partners! 

48. How good is your girlfriend at communicating through facial expressions?She’s pretty good at it, I can usually read her mood without her verbalizing too much! 

49. Who is more likely to refuse sex?Okay, so I dont like how this is worded, because anyone in a relationship is allowed to say no to sex at anytime and that isn’t a negative thing. However, I don’t think either of us really would 😂

50. Does your girlfriend play any sports?She used to do Karate, and she runs if that counts! 

51. Does your girlfriend root for any sports teams?Babe, do you? I vaguely remember you wanting to get a new t-shirt for Football or something but I don’t remember the team or how serious that was 😂

52. Who takes longer getting ready to go somewhere?Probably meeeee just based on who takes longer to shower in the morning! 

53. Who is more likely to remember an important date (i.e. birthday, anniversary, etc.)?I have a good memory, but I think she’s still better at this than I am! 

54. What is your girlfriend’s eye color?Blue! Her eyes are prettyyy

55. What is your girlfriend’s shoe size?I believe 7? Or maybe 6.5? 

56. What is your girlfriend’s dress size?If you think my girlfriend owns a dress.. 

57. What is your girlfriend’s favorite TV show?SVU, which she just finished!

58. What is your girlfriend’s favorite movie?Okay so I’m the worst, I think Dead Poets Society is on there, but I can’t rememberrrrrrr. 

59. Who is the bigger neat freak?We are both a mess, I think I am more organized with some things though

60. What is one item on your girlfriend’s bucket list?Graduate from college! Which she’s going to do! 

61. Who is more likely to utter a curse word?AHAHAHAHA MORGAN. She says the fuck word a lot 😂😂

62. Does your girlfriend prefer coffee or tea?Coffee, but she also likes tea, especially sweet tea

63. Is your girlfriend a morning or a night person?I think she’s more of a night person, however she’s still more of a morning person than I am! 

64. Is your girlfriend more likely to save or spend money?She doesn’t spend her money on a lot honestly, but she’s not as organized with saving as I am (hi i have three saving accounts) 

65. Who squashes the bugs?Morgan, she’s very good at it! Though we live separately, so I also have to squash the bugs! 

66. Who’s better at accurately telling when the other is lying?I think we both know when something’s up, though to clarify we don’t lie to each other, the most we do is try and pretend we’re fine when we’re not. 

67. What is your girlfriend’s favorite color?Blue! 

68. Does your girlfriend collect anything?Morgan keeps basically all the sentimental things she’s ever been given, like she has every letter, and/or camp items in her possession. 

69. Who is more likely to randomly burst out into a song?100% Morgan

70. Who is more likely to randomly start dancing?I think Morgan, usually it’s accompanied by her singing along to something!

71. Have you ever taken a vacation together? If so, where to?So far it’s just been when we visit each other, though when that isn’t a thing anymore, I think we definitely will! 

72. How tall is your girlfriend?5 Foot, she makes me feel tall 

73. Is your girlfriend religious at all?She is, she’s lutheran and an aspiring pastor 😘

74. Who is more likely to spontaneously be romantic?That’s Morgan, me being spontaneous would still be me making a very intense organized plan. 

75. Who’s laugh is cuter?MORGANS

76. Who is the better driver?We both are gays that know how to drive and have good driving records, I’d like to say me just because I drive more than she does. But I also got pulled over for traveling in the passing lane the other day, so I might not be.. though I didn’t get a ticket! 

77. Who is the better singer?Morgan likes to say me, but she and my mother are biased. 

78. Who is the better dancer?Morgan used to tap dance and i don’t dance (this isn’t a high school musical moment though) so probably her

79. Who is better at math?Don’t ask us to do math 

80. Whose handwriting is better?I think hers is!

81. Who has a better sense of humor?I think Morgan is hilarious, even her puns, so her!

82. Has your girlfriend ever given you a honey-do list?What is this straight nonsense?? I make lists all the time, but they aren’t like ‘chore lists’ that she has to get done. 

83. Does your girlfriend smoke?Nope, cigarettes or pot, thank goodness! 

84. Does your girlfriend drink alcohol at all? If so, what is her drink of choice?She sometimes drinks, and usually it’s Cider or a Mike’s if that’s all she can find. I know she sometimes drinks whiskey, but I can’t remember what she mixes it with. 

85. Does your girlfriend have a job?Yes indeed!

86. Who is more physically strong?Probably Morgan, she’s always lifting stuff at work! 

87. From 1-10, how health conscious is your girlfriend?AHAHAHAHA ummmm considering sometimes she just consists of popsicles and cheerwine… definitely lower on that scale

88. Have you ever shared a toothbrush? Nooooo, I get that we technically share spit, but that’s too far for me. 

89.. Can your girlfriend speak more than one language? If so, which one(s)?No she cant

90. Who is your girlfriend’s biggest celebrity crush?Anna Kendrick or Anne Hathaway, I feel like there was a third that I’m completely forgetting! 

91. Does your girlfriend have any quirky habits?She has to be early to everything, and by early, I mean like an hour early! 

92. What is the most romantic thing your girlfriend has ever done for you?Ummmm probably how she asked me out, she dressed up and wore a tie and everything, and then played a song on her guitar. She also wrote out something to go with it, which I now have. It was very very sweet. Also her Christmas gift was a lot, and she gave me a picture album for us to start and wrote out sticky notes to fill this jar of things she loves about me 🙈

93. Who reads more?Definitely Morgan! 

94. From 1-10, how feminine is your girlfriend?She’s more androgynous, so like a 1 probs!

95. Have you ever discussed marriage?Yes we have! 

96. Have you ever discussed having children?Yes, we also have!

97. Be honest: What is one thing your girlfriend does that you don’t like?SHE THINKS SHE NEEDS A FEDORA BUT SHE DOES NOT

98. Is there anything about your girlfriend you think most people don’t know?I’m sure there’s a lot, but something like that would be up to her disclosure vs mine! 

99. Beauty terms aside, choose one word to describe your girlfriend. Why that word?Loveofmylife (I made it oneeee)

100. Pass on one piece of relationship adviceAlways communicate and be honest, honestly I think the reason that we are able to manage this big of a distance is because we always communicate and trust each other completely. Also make time for each other, we love spending time with each other and make sure to set aside time for that everyday. 

#long post #like longest post to ever post im sorry #I WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY GIRLFRIEND ALWAYS #morgan

[dicnysian]

answer all those questions you bitch

well I am ur lawfully wedded bitch1. Who was the last person you held hands with?
UH idfk i hold hands w people without realization2. Are you outgoing or shy?Depends if u a bitch or not
3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?reese & colbert whenever wherever whoever however 
4. Are you easy to get along with?I'd say so
5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?i don't like anyone rn but i like my friends and they sure as hell would cause they dun it before 
6. What kind of people are you attracted to?the pure kind we all dream of
7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?No
8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?colbert & keanu reeves
9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?all I ever do is talk abt sex like a preteen boy
10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?reese
11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?"Tf"
12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?1. GYPSY BY FLEETWOOD MAC2. Sawed off shotgun by glorious sons3. Video games by mama del rey4. Ophelia by the lumineers5. Any song from the requiem of a dream ost
13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?YES
14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?NO
15. What good thing happened this summer?getting drunk everyday while camping 
16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?yes idek who it was but yes 
17. Do you think there is life on other planets?no 
18. Do you still talk to your first crush?no
19. Do you like bubble baths?yes yes yes yes
20. Do you like your neighbors?i don't go outside 
21. What are you bad habits?UH biting my nails when I'm nervous which is 24/7
22. Where would you like to travel?Australia
23. Do you have trust issues?mmmmm no but I don't trust any average Joe on the street
24. Favorite part of your daily routine?eating
25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?my thighs & waist wtf is goin on there
26. What do you do when you wake up?go back to sleep 
27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?I need a tan asap as possible 
28. Who are you most comfortable around?my bffs
29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?yes dear god
30. Do you ever want to get married?yes
31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?yes
32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?lana & god himself but that's technically the same person 
33. Spell your name with your chin.no
34. Do you play sports? What sports?no
35. Would you rather live without TV or music?TV
36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?yes lol I'm a lil pussy
37. What do you say during awkward silences?"SO do u eat ass?"
38. Describe your dream girl/guy?keanu reeves
39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?thrift stores & lush
40. What do you want to do after high school?get tf outta this place and go to university
41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?mmmm depends on the situation 
42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?im overthinking
43. Do you smile at strangers?yes
44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?I choose C.
45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?my mum 
46. What are you paranoid about?ch ch ch changes
47. Have you ever been high?YES
48. Have you ever been drunk?YES IM PROLLY DRUNK RN
49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?no I don't think
50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?im wearing one rn & it's blue 
51. Ever wished you were someone else?yes papí 
52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?my nose
53. Favourite makeup brand?too faced
54. Favourite store?lush
55. Favourite blog?reese's ;) (I don't wanna spell it cause I can't)
56. Favourite colour?blue or green
57. Favourite food? sushi
58. Last thing you ate?a sandwich from Timmy's
59. First thing you ate this morning?peanut butter toast
60. Ever won a competition? For what?LMAO i used to play piano and got some trophies and i used to do gymnastics/cheerlead & won some shit
61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?SUSPENDED FOR VAPING ON SCHOOL PROPERTY dab dab
62. Been arrested? For what?no
63. Ever been in love? i thought I was but realized later that was a hard no
64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?it was on a stairway at a movie theatre and it was horrible period
65. Are you hungry right now?Yes
66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?i like my real friends 
67. Facebook or Twitter?FB
68. Twitter or Tumblr?tumblr
69. Are you watching tv right now?yessss
70. Names of your bestfriends? Colbert & REESE
71. Craving something? What?idk probably food
72. What colour are your towels?white
72. How many pillows do you sleep with?4
73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?no
74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?like 500 kept in my closet 
75. Favourite animal?chitty chats & lemurs
76. What colour is your underwear?tie-dye 😏
77. Chocolate or Vanilla?vanilla
78. Favourite ice cream flavour?vanilla
79. What colour shirt are you wearing?blue
80. What colour pants?what pants
81. Favourite tv show?UH I like the office & x files
82. Favourite movie?I like JUNO & lots of old movies
83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?I'm skipping this cause the answer is obvious 
84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?skipping
85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?Glenn coco
86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?the angelfish guy
87. First person you talked to today?mmmmm my mum
88. Last person you talked to today?the day ain't over sunshine
89. Name a person you hate?i have a list
90. Name a person you love?reese
91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?yes
92. In a fight with someone?no
93. How many sweatpants do you have?874+
94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?874+
95. Last movie you watched?memento
96. Favourite actress?uhhhh I'm rlly into emily blunt & margot robbie rn
97. Favourite actor?Keanu reeves (my dad), Leo (my dad), the guy that voices sideshow bob
98. Do you tan a lot?NO i BURN 
99. Have any pets?2 kitties
100. How are you feeling?kinda bummed I got a dentist appointment tmrw
101. Do you type fast?si
102. Do you regret anything from your past?no ragrats (yes)
103. Can you spell well?I'd say so 
104. Do you miss anyone from your past?yes
105. Ever been to a bonfire party?yes señorita 
106. Ever broken someone’s heart?YES 😏😏😏
107. Have you ever been on a horse?yes yes yes
108. What should you be doing?cleaning my room 
109. Is something irritating you right now?mmmm nah I'm good rn
110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?no
111. Do you have trust issues?stop asking me THIS 
112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?uhhh my math teacher cause I forgot how to multiply
113. What was your childhood nickname?syd the kid
114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?yes yes
115. Do you play the Wii?wii is good for the soul
116. Are you listening to music right now?NO but I'm GONNA once I finish this
117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?eh it's okay
118. Do you like Chinese food?YES that good shit
119. Favourite book?the bell jar or Norwegian wood 
120. Are you afraid of the dark?YES
121. Are you mean?idk
122. Is cheating ever okay?noooooo
123. Can you keep white shoes clean?oh DONT get me started on white shoes I think they're the most stupid invention ever created by man 
124. Do you believe in love at first sight?no
125. Do you believe in true love?no
126. Are you currently bored?yes
127. What makes you happy?my friends & any song by queen
128. Would you change your name?in a heart beat
129. What your zodiac sign?pisces
130. Do you like subway?mmmm yes
131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?I'd say "no you don't" 
132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?👏 you asked this sweaty
133. Favourite lyrics right now?hey ho let's go
134. Can you count to one million?I can't even count to 100 without skipping a number or 2
135. Dumbest lie you ever told?I've told lots of dumb shit you can't tell me to pick just one
136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?open so the kitties can travel as they please
137. How tall are you?5'3"-5'3" AND A HALF-ISH
138. Curly or Straight hair?wavy
139. Brunette or Blonde?brunette
140. Summer or Winter?summer but winter is pretty
141. Night or Day?night
142. Favourite month?February 
143. Are you a vegetarian?HELL no
144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?white
145. Tea or Coffee?tea
146. Was today a good day?I'd say so yeh so far
147. Mars or Snickers?mars
148. What’s your favourite quote?idkkkk
149. Do you believe in ghosts?UHuhhuh nO but I think someone's gonna get me when it's dark 
150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? (via catscuddlingandyou)no

[12-99-30]

Unorganized Thoughts from April

*Warning: contains a lot of unnecessary quotes. It’s the 2012 Tumblr in me that can’t escape*

Each month I feel like I’m a different version of myself than I was before. I’m tracking progress where there are days that I’m excelling, and days where I feel like I’m exactly where I started. I don’t realize how fast time is moving, and how much I’m growing with each passing day until I find myself in a different spot with a different mindset than before. 

April was the first full month of experiencing quarantine lock-down. Most mornings, I start off by listening to The Daily podcast and try to wrap my head around this new normal. We probably won’t get to experience “normalcy” until at least another year, and that’s generous. Even with the production of a vaccine, there’s the issue of mass-production and mass-distribution. We also need to consider priority to people who are most vulnerable. Even then, the virus will still be spreading. I’m mourning the lost luxuries of everyday life (*sighs*). 

The first two weeks of April in lock-down were therapeutic. I’m privileged enough to look at this quarantine as a time to slow down, pause, and invest in things I’ve been putting off. I know many families in the world can’t experience that right now. This is a financially stressful time for most, and a period of prolonged anxiety and fear. I’m sorry if this post offends anyone. 

Being inside protected me from the outside world. Somehow, the idea of the world stopping put a cap on how much of my worries could grow. I wake up with assurance that my mom will be sitting on her blue exercise ball, greeting me with a warm “Good morning, darling” as she does her work in the kitchen. My dad will be sitting in his dining room chair, on the phone yelling at his coworker who he refuses to acknowledge as a friend. If it’s past 10 AM, N-- will be playing Animal Crossing on the Switch or “working”.  Y-- will be comfortably sleeping in bed after a night of playing Fortnite until 4 AM. There is always an aroma circulating around the house - baked banana bread, chocolate oatmeal cookies, brownies, or even dumplings. In quarantine, I’m able to control the things around me to maximize my time and well-being. I am grateful to have so many things to celebrate during this time. 

But like all things of this earth, it leans towards corruption. As the weeks inside passed, my indulgence in anxiety-ridden, thoughts became overwhelming.

My 83 year old grandma got COVID-19. I was never close with her, so I had this guilt sensation that I should’ve been feeling more worried, scared, and saddened, when I didn’t. Instead I felt weighted by the sight of my dad feeling helpless.  The “strongest” man of the family suddenly transformed into a man of anger, tears, and a man desperate to make up for lost years. It’s times like these where you learn to apply everything the church is teaching you; to not live in fear, to love thy neighbor, and to seek God fervently. I attest that it’s so much easier said than done. 

As a person popped into my life for a passing moment, I felt like a girl ready to ditch her antibiotics just because the symptoms were being relieved. But J-- C-- (of course lol), sent me this piece of wisdom:

5 Better is open rebuke

    than hidden love.

6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend;

    profuse are the kisses of an enemy.

As the cheesy, Tumblr, teenage, coming-of-age, film quote states: “We accept the love we think we deserve.” Since tasting the love of God, I realize I deserve so much more. I deserve a friend who is honest, who values me, who won’t make me feel like I’m a choice out of convenience. A friend who comes clean of all things the first time. If this is him, trying to sweep the guilt for the pain he caused me under a rug, I don’t want it. If this is him trying to hold onto to two worlds, I withdraw from this game. I am slowly learning how to die to myself. To not let my emotions rule, and submit to the wisdom of Jesus. I’m working through forgiveness, but texted-apologies are empty unless there is action. Action has continuously proven to me that selfishness will continue to rule. 

“When someone shows you who they are, believe them.” - Maya Angelou

I believe what I saw. I believe what I continue to see. Until God takes hold, I refuse to fall into quicksand again. 

But even understanding these truths, there were many days where I slipped. It felt like I was chained to the thought of them, weighing me down and disrupting my peace of mind. There continued to times where I got vivid memories of everything. How it felt to read those texts that they were in NOVA, to see the location and know she was there, to have to take an exam with a hole in my gut. I feel chained to this embarrassment and shame that I was so ~stupid~ to miss him while he was in Richmond, DC, and her apartment. To convince myself that I was somehow on his mind. To not feel like a failure in all of this. I’m reliving these things over and over and I just want to escape. But God is calling me to remember it all. To remind myself to not be foolish. To put up a guard and draw closer to Him. 

I reread 2 Corinthians 4 many times this month, each time with a new reason (and sometimes the same). 

“8 We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed;” 

 “ 16 So we do not lose heart. Though our 17 outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.  For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, 18 as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.”

Light and momentary compared to the eternal weight of glory. 

The mourning of COVID-19 and my own heartbreak feels like forever. But in this life - it’s so short. It’s passing. There is a Forever with God to remind me that this pandemic, this grief, and this anxiety will pass. The spiritual transformation that God intends for us through our struggles is to make us more like Jesus. This is an invitation to let God do deep work in us. To strip us down of everything and turn us into something beautiful. Suffering is one of the few things that can turn us into the image of Jesus, but only if we let him. Only if we have the capability to be honest with ourselves to say that we want to surrender our whole life to Him. Live like God is among us, because He is. 

“Aim at heaven, you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth, you get neither.” - C.S. Lewis 

I get to ~proudly~ say that I’m not perfect by any standards. But I am working on the person I am becoming, and focusing less on the final product of my character. Pastor D.L. puts it plainly: “The secret to life is your life in secret”

Our public failure is always preceded by private failure. Success as a married person is your success as a single person. I am striving for success in all realms of my life. A heavenly mindset that everything in this life is temporary, but the person I am is the person that will meet the Father one day. I am working on patience and care within my family, the people I take most for granted. I want to be a person who everyone can rely on to be consistent. It starts within a home. 

A Moment of Gratitude: 

Despite being alone for most of quarantine, I’m thankful to never feel lonely. I’m thankful that despite church not meeting physically in-person, we’re able to continue to meet and cultivate faith in our own homes. I’m thankful for my friends who continue to hear me list the same problems time and time again, and reaffirm me that they are always walking beside me.

I’m thankful for this momentary affliction. It reminds me I’m human (lol), and I need God. People come out of suffering - in spite of the bitterness, devastation, and loss - as better people. They come out as the best of people. I’m starting to see resilience being built in my family and myself. A new definition of love. A holy mixture of patience and hope. 

I’ll end this post with a snippet of quarantine life: 

We gather around the family sofa, rewatching childhood videos. I could feel all our eyes glued to the screen; the room echoes with reminiscent laughter and immense warm gratitude fill our chests. The videos of raw scenes of sharing coco puffs in the morning seemed exciting. Walking around Georgetown was an adventure. To anyone else, these are poorly edited videos with no climax. But to us, it reminds me of where I’m rooted. That no matter what I’m doing, where I am, everyday is exciting when you’re surrounded by the people you love. Thank you, Dad for capturing the ordinary moments. I hope to share these videos with someone who finds beauty in these intimate videos. Who will feel what I felt and see what I see. 

#posts

[chancemedley116]

Answering 50 quarantine asks

Asked by @whatqueen-wildcats via my other blog because I reblogged to the wrong one again lolol

1. Are you enjoying yourself? Yeah, things are going alright. 

2. Do you miss how life used to be? Things aren’t too different for me. I’m still working and taking classes, even though work is busier and classes are just online now.

3. What are you doing with your time now that you’re home? Same old stuff, mostly homework. Any free time is spent playing animal crossing though lol

4. What drinks do you have in the fridge right now? Ooh boy I’ll have to think about this one. Water, tea, orange juice, grape juice, coke zero, and pepsi. More than usual because of essential shopping. Usually it’s just tea and water.

5. What snacks do you have in your house right now? Honestly, a bag of chips for my mom and that’s it. I’m trying to snack less lately, and the only way that seems to work is if I have no snacks nearby lol.

6. When was the last time you stepped outside, and what for? I went outside to put my dog up a couple of hours ago.

7. What’s a book you hope to read while quarantined? I want to finish rereading a book I had when I was 15 or somewhere around that. It’s call Sword of the Land, and it’s awesome.

8. What’s a goal you hope to achieve while being quarantined? I want to be more productive in general, finish the semester strong, and not get sick.

9. How long do you think you can last like this? I could live like this for a very long time. I’m a huge homebody so this isn’t bothering me much at all.

10. What is the last thing you’ve read? I read an article about animal crossing this afternoon...

11. What show are you catching up on? None right now. I’m mostly listening to podcasts or watching random youtube videos.

12. Are you a “stay in pajamas all day kind"of person? Yes, definitely. Even most of my normal clothes could count as pajamas anyway.

13. What time did you go to sleep last night? Like...1ish. I wasn’t feeling well so it took me a while to fall asleep.

14. What time did you wake up today? Oh dude, I think it was 11. Like I said, wasn’t feeling well.

15. Are you staying active? I’m definitely not less active. Work has been more exhausting for sure. But I haven’t been exercising at all.

16. Are you staying hydrated? Never hydrated enough. I need to be better about that.

17. How long do you think this quarantine will last? At least another month. Probably 2 because no one here in Florida is staying home at all. :/

18. If you had to study one subject everyday for the rest of this quarantine, what would you study? See, I don’t like this question. I should say Spanish, because I’m taking it now and have to take part 2 in the Summer, but it’d probably be folklore or something related to that.

19. How much weight do you suppose you’ll put on by the time this quarantine is over? I’ll probably stay the same weight or lose weight by the end of this, because since I’m not going to school I won’t feel the need to eat fast food as much. It wasn’t a ton before, only like, once a week. But still.

20. What’s your favorite board game? For family games I’m pretty partial to the game of life and scrabble.

21. What’s your favorite card game? Rummy. A family favorite.

23. What’s your favorite tv show? My default answer is Parks and Rec, but I haven’t watched tv shows regularly in a while.

24. What’s your favorite snack? All I can think about right now is a fruit, veggie, and cheese tray.

26. What’s your favorite beverage? I want to say water, but I have fallen back into my deeeeeep love for pepsi.

27. What do you like most about the quarantine? Not having to drive an hour and a half(3 hours round trip) to get to school. I’m saving so much in gas money right now.

28. What are you finding most challenging about the quarantine? Remembering what day it is. It’s been a nightmare. Also my sleep schedule is wrecked.

29. Do you think COVID-19 is as bad as the media says it is? Yeah, man. This thing isn’t okay. I really hope it wakes people up to the desperate need for vaccines.

30. What precautions have you taken to stay safe from COVID-19? I stay at home unless absolutely necessary, and at work we have an alert to wash our hands and “touch points” every hour. But the customers are mostly jerks and haf leaned on and coughed on most of us on the reg.

31. What have you learned so far from this experience? People are being really selfish for the most part, and that most people don’t keep a fully stocked freezer.

32. Are you introverted, omniverted, or extroverted? I used to think I was a stone cold introvert, but I realized that was mostly the way I was raised and my introverted parents keeping me from socializing because they didn’t want to. Omnivert for sure.

33. Which room in your house do you spend the most time in? My bedroom. I actually just moved into my mom’s old office space, so it doesn’t fully feel like my room yet. I lived in my last room for 12 years, so it’s going to take a bit.

34. Who are you most worried about? The older members of my family. Also my fiance and brother in law. They both have asthma and are essential workers.

35. Who was the last person you texted, called, facetimed? Texted, a friend in a group chat about animal crossing, called my fiance, facetimed my friend Taylor.

36. What three emojis best describe your attitude towards what’s going on right now? 👏🧼💦

37. If you had to live in one item of clothing for the rest of this quarantine what would it be? My princess mononoke sweatpants. Those babies are comfy af.

38. What was the last meal you cooked and how did it taste? I wouldn’t call it a meal, but I made one of those knorr pasta sides for my dinner last night lol. It was delicious.

39. What’s your favorite restaurant? Is it closed? Bamboo sushi. I have been craving it for weeks, even before the quarantine. I desperately need a friend to go on sushi dates with. If you have my number, call me. I am dead serious.

40. What is your favorite store? Is it closed? Probably Earthbound. I like smelling the incense. I’m sure it is closed, doesn’t seem essential.

41. How many things have you purchased online since being in quarantine? I just realized I haven’t ordered anything. I’ve been meaning to buy a new mouse, but I haven’t decided on one yet.

42. What was the last thing you purchased online? Probably my makeup mirror.

43. What’s getting you through these tough times? ...animal crossing.

44. Are you keeping up with the news? To a degree. I peruse twitter every morning and watch whatever my parents have on for a minute or two. Sadly it’s usually some conservative Trump support thing, so I either have to stomach it and keep my mouth shut or just leave. I usually go with leaving.

45. Are you stressed? In general, yeah. But I’ve felt oddly peaceful during this time. I read somewhere on here that’s because people are finally reacting to the way I feel all the time. I don’t know if that’s true, but it makes sense. 

46. Tell me something positive. My sister is getting a new house in a few weeks. I’m insanely excited for her. And we’re going to be neighbors!

47. Give me some advice. I don’t feel like the kind of person who should be giving advice, just know I’m proud of you. Just in general. :)

48. What’s your favorite quote? Excuse me as I open my Pinterest quote board for this... “The way you speak to yourself matters.” No credit, but it’s something I’m learning a lot about lately.

49. What’s your favorite book? The Book of Lost Things by John Connolly. I wonder if it will ever change.

50. Tell me an interesting fact. The roars used in the animated Lion King were actually from tigers, because lion roars weren’t loud enough.

Thanks for asking! This was fun. 

#answered

[itsyourturnblog]

Photo by Danil Shostak on Unsplash

Often wrong, never in doubt. This is so often true of me it has become one of my life mottos.

However, this time, on this topic — well, this simply is NOT one of those times. My 13 month old daughter is indisputably adorable on an everyday, regular basis. Not wrong. Not in doubt.

Like really stinkin’ cute. Incredibly so.

She’s sweet, beautiful, funny, curious and has a hella-awesome personality. And beautiful — did I mention she’s beautiful?

Spunk.

Moxie.

The It Factor.

All of that in spades. She’s unbelievable.

And though I am completely biased, I am also completely right. Ask anyone who knows her.

And as cute as she is most of the time, her adorability quotient exceeds all our processing capacity, all our ability to handle her awesomeness, every time she watches video of Moana How Far I’ll Go.

https://medium.com/media/77368f2c6582760b140edb5116d8ae43/href

Immediately she becomes transfixed. Her eyes open wide, locked in and aglow, twinkling with near ecstasy. Her tiny, little legs and feet start pumping — thump, thump, thump on her chair.

Her face beams and her tiny mouth breaks into her magnetic smile. She bobs her beautiful little head. She waves her arms. And at the end she giggles with delight.

I’ve been pondering Inherent Tensions, Questions, Life Dynamics, Retooling and DST this week. Today, watching my baby girl watch How Far I’ll Go, I realized that Moana is pondering all of this as well.

Here’s a snippet of her lyrics:

I can lead with pride I can make us strong I’ll be satisfied if I play along But the voice inside sings a different song What is wrong with me

See the light as it shines on the sea It’s blinding But no one knows how deep it goes And it seems like it’s calling out to me So come find me And let me know What’s beyond that line Will I cross that line

Moana

• Inherent Tensions: I’ll be satisfied if I play along, But the voice inside sings a different song

• Questions: What is wrong with me? What’s beyond that line? Will I cross that line?

• Life Dynamics: See the light as it shines on the sea, It’s blinding, But no one knows how deep it goes, And it seems like it’s calling out to me, So come find me, And let me know…

• Retooling: I can lead with pride, I can make us strong, I’ll be satisfied if I play along

And I could probably fashion an argument that at least some of her angst is from the antiquated evils of DST, but I digress.

Retooling:

This past week I had the privilege of attending TEA’s annual Energy Symposium, a ~4 day event where attendees get updates on the power and gas industry, hear from thought leaders and get connected to other professionals on similar journeys. A lot of what we covered was Retooling in one form or another. The energy & utilities industry is pretty ripe for disruption so we’re thinking through, and helping others think through, how best to adapt and respond.

We hosted a Hackathon, presented New Energy Technologies, explored Advanced Analytics. We shared a Commodity Market Outlook and Lessons Learned from the Wild West (California). We also talked Convergence of Information Technologies, Adapting Your Business Model in the Age of Disruption and on and on.

We also heard from:

Todd Buchholz, Former White House Director of Economic Policy on whether there will be Prosperity Ahead…or Not?

Jason Klein, Vice President U.S. Energy Transition Strategy for Shell shared a bit about their Sky Scenario (Shell’s plans for U.S. Energy Transition)

A panel of seasoned Public Power leaders share their Lessons in Leadership

And Michael Shellenberger, Founder & President, Environmental Progress offered his perspective on Why We Need Environmental Humanism, asserting that Nuclear Power is the most environmentally friendly path toward a carbon free future.

Lots of Retooling indeed.

Our keynote, Don Yaeger, shared thoughts on What Makes Great Ones Great? He’s a fantastic story teller by the way — highly recommend hearing him if you’ve got the opportunity. Anyhow, based on his interaction with and study of these greats, he asserts:

IT’S PERSONAL — Great ones hate to lose more than they love to win (ala Michael Jordan)

INNER FIRE — Great ones use adversity as fuel (ala Warrick Dunn)

RUBBING ELBOWS — Great ones understand the value of association (ala John Wooden)

DO UNTO OTHERS — Great ones know character is defined by how they treat those who cannot help them in return (ala Walter Payton)

All of us attending were there in part to consider how we need to change our companies as the world around us changes. I’d suggest that in addition to the corporate applications, there are lessons aplenty for us here as individuals and leaders too.

We live in an era inconceivable to anyone before us. Disruption abounds. Change is accelerating.

Our grandparents thought TV was revolutionary; then we put men on the moon.

Our parents lived through the emergence of the Computer Age; and now it may be nearing its end.

We now walk around with handheld communicators that were largely things of fantasy a generation ago.

Paraplegics walk and even drive formula one cars with their brain waves. We can edit our DNA choose physical traits, to prevent disease or…

Anyhow, things are changing. Rapidly.

And that presents challenges for our companies and for us. Many jobs that have existed may soon become obsolete or automated. Incumbents tend to play by the rules. And emerging players may not see the need to do so.

Things I’m pondering:

How do we apply the lessons of “the great ones” to move us forward?

How do we teach ourselves to “retool” in this era of accelerating change? Both individually and corporately.

How do we help others retool as well?

What happens if we don’t?

Next week, I’ll further explore Inherent Tensions, Questions and Life Dynamics.

Often wrong, never in doubt was originally published in It's Your Turn on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

by Batch Batchelder via It's Your Turn - Medium #itsyourturn #altMBA #SethGodin #quotes #inspiration #stories #change #transformation #writers #writing #self #shipping #personaldevelopment #growth #education #marketing #entrepreneurship #leadership #personaldev #wellness #medium #blogging #quoteoftheday #inspirationoftheday

#ItsYourTurn #It's Your Turn #IYT #altMBA #Seth Godin #Inspiration #Stories #Change #Transformation #Blog #Medi

[outrospecting-blog1]

Hello friend :o)

Idk what number tumblr this is, but I thought I’d start a new space for a new season —

I’m taking a break from real life for the next semester and have the crazy privilege of traveling to 3 different countries across the world (Vietnam, South Africa, and Argentina) with 26 other people from across the country… to learn, experience, grow, think, feel, play etc etc. this is still surreal tbh

I’m on a comparative study abroad program (full title is IHP Health and Community: Globalization, Culture, and Care) - basically focused on health systems/policies in very different country contexts and the ways in which communities around the world strive for health and well-being (yea lol i’m a public health major) - lots of experiential learning through site visits and case studies and conversations with locals and such I have so much to look forward to that I don’t even know what, but at the top of the list is people - every person whose story/perspective/snippet of life that I’ll be lucky enough to encounter over the next few months.

I think people can be so beautiful - it blows my mind how everyone has their own personality and thought process and way of expressing themselves. Even within this travel group, the diversity of experiences/interests/personalities is fascinating, and I think there’s something to admire about pretty much everyone out there - whether we want to see it or not, whether it’s intuitively a “good” thing or not.

And sometimes (a lot of times) people are not so beautiful but I think we all deserve to be understood - something I’ve been thinking about a lot esp since taking anthropology, which really pushes you to take ten steps back and question why people are the way they are and value their narratives. Lots more to come on this bc I love anth so much and 2/4 (but rly 4/4) of the “classes” I’m taking are anth-related

So I was sitting in Dripp last week finally starting to read my pre-departure materials, and came across this gold that encapsulates all my people-thoughts of this past year and what I ultimately want to do in life -

----

(transcript)

“Instead of the age of introspection we need to shift to the age of outrospection. And by outrospection I mean the idea of discovering who you are and what to do with your life by stepping outside yourself, discovering the lives of other people, other civilisations. And the ultimate art form for the age of outrospection is empathy. ... First, the way that empathy can be part of the art of living, a philosophy of life. Empathy isn’t just something that expands your moral universe, empathy is something that can make you a more creative thinker, improve your relationships, can create the human bonds that make life worth living. But more than that empathy is also about social change... I think it’s actually quite dangerous because empathy can create revolution. Not one of those old fashioned revolutions of new states, policies, governments, laws but something much more fiery and dangerous which is a revolution of human relationships.” “Now if you open a standard psychology textbook you’ll see two definitions of empathy. One of them is this: ‘Effective empathy, Empathy has a shared emotional response’... The second kind you’ll find when you open your psychology textbook is this ‘cognitive empathy’ which is about perspective taking, about stepping into somebody else’s world, almost like an actor looking through the eyes of their character. It’s about understanding somebody else’s world view, their beliefs, the fears, the experiences that shape how they look at the world and how they look at themselves. We make assumptions about people, we have prejudices about people which block us from seeing their uniqueness, their individuality, we use labels. And highly empathic people get beyond that, or get beyond those labels, by nurturing their curiosity about others. ... Highly empathic people tend to be very sensitive listeners, they're very good at understanding what somebody else's needs are. They tend to be also people who in conversations share part of their own lives, make conversations two way dialogues, make themselves vulnerable. Worth thinking about as well is to think about political conversations. It won't stop until we talk. This is the motto of a grassroots peace building organisation in Israel and the Palestinian territories called 'The Parents Circle'. What it does is bring together Palestinian and Israeli families who share something very special - these families have all lost members of their own families in the conflict. And The Parents Circle brings them together for conversations, picnics, meetings where they share each other's stories, they discover that they share the same pain, the same blood - the make that empathic bond. They also have other fantastic projects, my favourite one is called 'Hello Peace'. It's a free phone telephone line so anybody can pick up and call that number. If you're a Palestinian and call it you're immediately put through to an Israeli, you can have a half hour conversation. If you're an Israeli pick it up you're put through to a Palestinian. Since 2002 over a million calls have been logged on the Hello Peace free phone line. That's the kind of project which is trying to create grassroots empathy. Now we normally think of empathy as something that happens between individuals. But I also believe it can be a collective force, it can happen on a mass scale. When I think of history I think not of the rise and fall of civilisations and religions or political systems, I think of the rise and fall of empathy; moments of mass empathic flowering and also of course of empathic collapse. ... We normally think of empathy as empathising with the down and outs, the poor and marginalised, those on the edges of society. I think we need to be more adventurous in who we try to empathise with. I think we need to empathise with those in power. We need to understand how those in power, in whatever realm it is, think about the world and their lives and their ambitions. We need to understand their values. Only then are we going to be able to develop effective strategies for social, political and economic transformation. ... Equally, I think we need to apply our more ambitious thinking in policy realms such as thinking about climate change. We all know there's a huge gap between what we know about climate change and the amount of action that people are taking, i.e. not very much. I think that gap is explained by empathy in two forms. I think there's an empathic gap in terms of we're not empathising across space with people in developing countries like in India, people who are being hit by climate change induced floods or droughts in Kenya. And, almost more importantly perhaps, we are failing to empathise through time with future generations and I think we need to learn to expand our empathic imaginations forwards through time as well as across space. How are we going to do it? I think we need new social institutions. We need, for example, empathy museums - a place which is not about dusty exhibits, you know like an old Victorian museum, but an experiential and conversational public space where you might walk in and in the first room there is a human library where you can borrow people for conversations. You walk into the next room and there are 20 sewing machines and there are former Vietnamese sweatshop workers who will teach you how to make a t-shirt like the one you're probably wearing under sweatshop labour conditions and you'll be paid five pence at the end of it - so you understand the labour behind the label. You may well go into the cafe and scan in your food and discover that the working conditions of those who picked the coffee beans of the drink that you're drinking. You may see a video of them talking about their lives trying to make a connection across space and into realms that you don't know about. I think we need to think about bringing empathy into our everyday lives in a very sort of habitual way.

-----

I love love love love this - So I guess this is kind of my starting point.. I’m going to keep this page mainly focused on “outrospection” (very loosely) - the things I’m learning about other people, places, communities, ideas, cultures, systems, etc. (gonna be a lot of quote dumping) Going to try keeping the introspection separate but it’ll prob slip in more than once or twice bc I think you naturally learn about yourself by learning about others.

If you happen to be reading this, I would also love to know how you are doing so say hi and lmk what’s going on in your life / in your mind / in America / Philly / OC / wherever!! If you know me I’m trying to be a better texter and I promise I will respond!!

[ashadowstreak]

An Update: What’s Been Going On With Me?

Long post ahead for those who care, you can read more after the break.

Okay, so I’m certain that you’ve noticed I haven’t uploaded anything Powerpuff related in about a month and a half. First and foremost, I want to apologize. I probably could have gotten videos on Secret Swapper and Rainy Day done by now had it not been for some of the things that I’ve been dealing with. I’ve had plenty of time to get those videos done but I’ve been getting discouraged as of late, and I feel the need to come clean.

One of those reasons that prevented me from getting work done was college. These past 2 semesters I had been dealing with terrible, terrible roommates who would belittle me and make me feel like crap all the time because of the way they treated me. I used to consider myself friends with these people, but for some reason they decided to change their mind and kick me to the curb because I wasn’t “worth their time” (to quote them) anymore. Every day I would get back from class only to lock myself in my room in isolation because it was the only safe place I had to escape those awful, awful people. I also had lots of studying to do at the end of April since final exams were coming up, so that took up a huge chunk of my time as well. However, I have since gotten home and have been taking it easy for nearly 3 weeks now, so I am no longer dealing with these specific problems. Those people are behind me and I never have to see them again, so they’ll no longer be an impediment in my everyday life.

Another major issue is that I’m still undergoing stomach troubles. I’ve been enduring some weird digestive problems ever since the first week of January and every doctor I’ve been to has been completely useless to me. None of them have even pointed me in the right direction and the only thing I’ve done that seems to have worked since the problems started is take a few Tums after each meal. I’m seeing a GI specialist in June so hopefully they figure out what’s wrong with me because I’m so fucking sick of feeling like shit every single time I eat something. It is so frustrating knowing that a few hours after a meal I’ll end up feeling so nasty and crummy that it ruins my night. It is so difficult for me to keep a positive attitude in life when nobody seems to want to help me become healthy again. For the past month or two I’ve been saying that I’ve been getting better, but I really haven’t been at all. The severity of the symptoms has decreased yes, but they’re nowhere near gone and I don’t know how I can keep living like this.

This also leads into my third problem, which is sleep deprivation. I stay up until some time between 11 pm & 1 am, that’s nothing new for me. But, my stomach problems sometimes cause me to stay up even later (once all the way until 5 am) because I can’t sleep with the discomfort that it causes me, and it ends up making me feel horrible for the entirety of the next day. This happens at least once a week, key words being: at least once. I can’t keep going on with this and need these stomach issues to be resolved.

So now we’re at four, right? The next thing that I want to get off my chest is my perfectionist attitude. Thing is, I want to work on Powerpuff reviews, I really do, but the aforementioned problems on top of the fact that I have other videos prioritized at the moment is making it very difficult for me to focus on them. Writing scripts has always been the hardest part of the video-making-process for me because I want to explain myself the absolute best way that I can. I don’t want to just shove out a sloppily put together video for you guys just to have it done. I’ve done that before; go back and watch my Sister Sitter review (a video I put zero effort into) and then watch my review of The Secret Life of Blossom (a video I spent hours upon hours on). The difference is impossible to miss. That’s the number one reason why they take so long.

Now as for point #5, I just started working again today. I go to work 5 days a week from 7 am to 3 pm each day, meaning that I’m losing a lot of time for working on videos so that I can make some money. For those who don’t know, I paint sidewalks/curbs/parking lots while at my job; it’s a very time-consuming process in which I spend several hours each day out in the hot sun watching paint dry. That’s my literal job description: watching paint dry. However, this isn’t all bad, for I spend the majority of my time painting off on my own where I can just think to myself & get lost in thought while I work. I plan on spending a great chunk of this time brainstorming new video ideas a well as things I’d say in any potential Powerpuff reviews, so hopefully this at least makes the script-writing process a little easier for me. But still, that’s 40 hours a week that I can’t spend writing/recording/editing.

Sixth, I have to admit that I’m getting a little discouraged. Okay I guess this can relate back to point #4, but the point still stands that I’m losing motivation. I see a bunch of other YouTubers, both big and small, putting out videos consistently, and I get upset with myself because I’m incapable of doing that. I used to be able to do that last summer when my videos were 3-5 minutes long, but I don’t really do that much anymore because I spend so much more time on my videos now. Sure, the Samurai Jack impressions are turning out to be around 7-8 minutes, but I’m just barely scraping by with those videos each week; based on the recording session that I just got finished with an hour ago, you’re probably going to be able hear it in my voice. I honestly don’t know what’s going on with me, maybe it’s just a bit of a rough patch or something, but I’m just not feeling it right now.

Now for part two of this post: I’ve got two big videos in the works at the moment as I’m sure many of you already know. Well, I want to show you how massive one of these two videos is that I’m currently working on.

Nearly 50 minutes long, and that’s with minimal editing as you can see in the image above. No added clips, no montages, no jokes, etc. None of these things have been added yet, it’s purely audio & timestamps; needless to say, this is an incredibly difficult undertaking that I have to deliver on, and it’s certainly proving to be a challenge.

I also plan on putting a hell of a lot more effort into the presentation of my upcoming Q&A video compared to the lazily slapped together video that I did for my first one. I want it to be entertaining for people to watch as a whole, not just something that people skip through to see their question and nothing else you know? I realize I can’t control whether or not people do that, but I want to go the extra mile if it means making at least one person out there smile.

I promise these videos will be out eventually, but I can’t promise a specific date for either of them because I have no idea how long they will take. Secret Swapper will be the next video after that, and then I should be able to get back to doing more ppg reviews. I also have two planned collabs with other YouTubers as of right now, and I want to contact a third person about doing one once I get all of this shit figured out. I have an idea of an episode that I’d like to do with them should they choose to accept, but I have a bunch of other reviews that I have to do first before I can get to that one. That’s the other reason why I’ve been so late to asking (if you happen to be reading this), I don’t want to discuss it now only to wait 2 months before we could even start working on it.

But enough about that. The impressions videos for C and CI of Samurai Jack will not be affected and should be out this week and next week respectively. Thanks for taking the time to read this incredibly long post (probably the longest one I’ve ever written), and I’ll try to keep you all updated.

#An Update #delete later

[dinatlou]

DO ALL 100!

Here we go… I’ve finally done it!

1: is there a boy/girl in your life?Nope, I’m a single Pringle

2: think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?It wasn’t actually one person it was a group of people and absolutely not. I can’t forgive them for what they said and did (I’m not going to get into it tho)

3: what do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”My cat :)

4: what’s something you really want right now?Idk, I’m not sure I want to get too deep about it lol

5: are you afraid of falling in love?Me!? Afraid of falling in love? What would make you think such a thing (you’re totally right)

6: do you like the beach?I do! Although I don’t go loads of tbh. The beach is so calming and peaceful. I just get stressed in the summer bc bees and wasps are about.

7: have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?I slept on one half of a sofa while someone’s sat in the other half?? Does that count? Wasn’t like cute or anything. It’s family so like????

8: what’s the background on your cell?Just generic one that came on my phone. My lock screen is me, my sister and two of my cousins

9: name the last four beds you were sat on?Mine x3 and my sisters :’)

10: do you like your phone?Yeah I do!! Idk what else to say ahaha

11: honestly, are things going the way you planned?NO OMG?! It’s actually the complete opposite to what I had in mind. I never even imagined my life would be remotely like this but I suppose my minds like a little dream land or something?

12: who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?Probably two of my friends. I never had their numbers because we would just talk on Facebook or whatever.

13: would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler?Poodle!!

14: which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?Emotional!! If you get a cut, it’ll scab over. If you break a bone, you get a cast. If you’re hurt mentally/emotionally/psychologically there isn’t a quick fix to that

15: would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?Hmmm, idk. Maybe a zoo? Don’t hate me I know they shouldn’t be there but..idk

16: are you tired?Always ahahha

17: how long have you known your 1st phone contact?I’ve already answered this one and I cba to write it out again ahaha

18: are they a relative?The girl I talked about in the other ask isn’t no, she’s a friend.

19: would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?I mean, maybe if I had an ex to even get back with?

20: when did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?Never apparently, never kissed anyone

21: if you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?Well, one I’m single. But if I was with someone and I knew I was going to be with them forever I would marry them…but not now. I’m only 17 and I can’t fork out for a wedding rn ahaha

22: would you kiss the last person you kissed again?Again, seems impossible.

23: how many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?0 haha

24: is there a certain quote you live by?I guess “Ohana means family” from Lilo and Stitch? I used to say it a lot as a kid. It’s stuck really. Family is really important to me but I’m also a believer that family isn’t always blood

25: what’s on your mind?lol too much

26: do you have any tattoos?No, but I think I might get one at the end of the year (hopefully school won’t notice)

27: what is your favorite color?Hmmm, probably purple

28: next time you will kiss someone on the lips?Erm….unlikely

29: who are you texting?Currently no one. The last person I text in general was my sister lol

30: think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?They’re non existent!

31: have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?Yes, think I have a sixth sense or something. I know when people are being off with me, don’t like me, I can kinda guess if they’re lying or not telling me something.

32: do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?Nope! Don’t really have many friends anyway

33: do you think anyone has feelings for you?No, probably not. But if someone out there does, hiya! Make ya self known (although a relationship is probs the last thing I need rn)

34: has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?Nope! My eyes are small and so dark brown they’re nearly black so…

35: say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?Again, weird concept bc someone will be stood in front of me kissing no one?

36: were you single on valentines day?Of course I was? Have you noticed the pattern here?

37: are you friends with the last person you kissed?I’m going to continue to be sarcastic about this until the end you do realise?

38: what do your friends call you?My name? Mads or Maddie.

39: has anyone upset you in the last week?Idk, I’m upset a lot of the time anyway ahahah

40: have you ever cried over a text?Yep! I know ew

41: where’s your last bruise located?I’m not too sure? Probably my leg or something ahah

42: what is it from?Probably knocked it off a table or my bed lol

43: last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?Now :) contemplating changing my plans to get awayyyy (it won’t happen tho lol)

44: who was the last person you were on the phone with?Apparently my dad last week! You can tell I like never ring people.

45: do you have a favourite pair of shoes?Any of my trainers tbh. My trainers or another pair of shoes that idk what they’re called lol

46: do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?Na bc school. Can’t wear hats. Don’t really have any to wear anyway

47: would you ever go bald if it was the style?Probably not? Idk

48: do you make supper for your family?Nope!

49: does your bedroom have a door?It does but I barely close it?

50: top 3 web-pages?Idk. I don’t use a computer or laptop too often unless it’s for school stuff or Netflix

51: do you know anyone who hates shopping?Erm, probably. My dad likes food shopping but not like shopping shopping.

52: does anything on your body hurt?My shoulder, I pulled a muscle last night!

53: are goodbyes hard for you?Depends who it is and how long it’s for?

54: what was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?Probably Coke :/

55: how is your hair?Erm, it’s good?? Idk what this questions really asking tbh?? It’s short and thick and kinda blond now??

56: what do you usually do first in the morning?Roll over. Then go on my phone when I pull myself together

57: do you think two people can last forever?I like to think yes. That there’s someone for everyone and all that. But people change and grow naturally so it’s easy for two people to move apart.

58: think back to january 2007, were you single?OF COURSE!?

59: green or purple grapes?Either I don’t mind. I eat purple grapes more bc that’s what my parents buy

60: when’s the next time you will give someone a big hug?Idk

61: do you wish you were somewhere else right now?Erm yep

62: when will be the next time you text someone?Idk. Tonight, tomorrow? Normally it’s me texting my sister a video or smth

63: where will you be 5 hours from now?Asleep!

64: what were you doing at 8 this morning.Sleeping, I woke up just before 9.

65: this time last year, can you remember who you liked?No one. This time last year was difficult. Didn’t have time for that

66: is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?Yep! My two friends

67: did you kiss or hug anyone today?No. Did yesterday though

68: what was your last thought before you went to bed last night?“I feel so sick”

69: have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?Yeah of course I have? But then again, hasn’t everyone?

70: how many windows are open on your computer?Currently 0, I’m not on my computer.

71: how many fingers do you have?All 10 :)

72: what is your ringtone?Generic iPhone one

73: how old will you be in 5 months?Still 17…but I’ll nearly be 18

74: where is your mum right now?In the living room

75: why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?Bc they were a twat (I didn’t love them but said person fits this question best)

76: have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?Nope!

77: are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?Well, two people….I’m not going to get into this though

78: do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?Yes. Kinda links to the earlier twat

79: is there anyone you know with the name mike?Yep! One of teachers hahah

80: have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?No I don’t think so

81: how many people have you liked in the past three months?0

82: has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?Nope

83: will you talk to the person you like tonight?Nope, don’t like anyone

84: you’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?Unlikely scenario but probably my best friend

85: if your bf/gf was into drugs would you care?Well…yeah I would if they’re killing themselves everyday?

86: what was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?We got given the tickets for free off a group of lads!!

87: who was your last received call from?Sadly the doctors ahaha

88: if someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?This screams butterfly effect to me….couldn’t

89: what is something you wish you had more of?Time? Energy? Confidence?

90: have you ever trusted someone too much?I have total trust issues. So probably :)

91: do you sleep with your window open?Occasionally

92: do you get along with girls?More than boys yeah. Idk. I haven’t found my people

93: are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?No?

94: does sex mean love?Apparently not to some

95: you’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?Yeah? Bc I’m locked in a room by my fkn self

96: have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?:)))

97: did you sleep alone this week?Erm yeah every night?

98: everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?I guess yeah!

99: do you believe in love at first sight?I think it’s more lust? Or love with their looks/vibe? You can’t love a person by just looking at them

100: who was the last person that you pinky promise?Couldn’t tell you!

#long post #ask #anon #personal #it's finally done!