#IDK IF I LIKE THIS COLORING OKAY but i am nothing if not a thirst blog

[batfleckgifs]

BEN AFFLECK as DANNY O’ROURKE Hypnotic (2023) | Dir. Robert Rodriguez

#ben affleck #benaffleckedit #affleckedit #affleckgifds #hypnoticedit #dilfsource #dilfgifs #mensources #filmtvedit #cinemapix #cinemagifs #cinemasource #homoinitiative #mine. #edit: gifs. #film: hypnotic. #IDK IF I LIKE THIS COLORING OKAY but i am nothing if not a thirst blog

[drakendme]

describe your mutuals and what they remind you of

oh boy okay! i’m still p out of it from last night so i will do my best!! i also did not include all of my mutuals so i’m sorry if i didn’t get to you i still love you lots :(

(this deadass took me almost an hour to do help😭)

@kodzucafe — the absolute love of my life!! she’s the kindest most amazing person ever and a literal angel sent from above (inside and out). they always give the best advice and are just so fun to talk to and i’m in love w her :( very VERY smart and well read and that’s very attractive. i love their love of literature and when she reads poems and bedtime stories :( phenomenal writer!!!!!

reminds me of: over the garden wall (specifically “aw, beans” and “YOU HAVE BEAUTIFUL EYES”), warm cookies, gingerbread, and ofc: noya, mochi, denki & shouto <33

@fairyfuyu — my pretty baby honey 🥺 literally the most adorable person on this earth. she’s so fucking sweet and gorgeous and makes me so happy. a literal ray of sunshine. this is my official proposal to you honey :( so fucking funny all the time but especially when drunk, high or crossed. and literally so sexy pls kiss me :(

reminds me of: golden hour, actual honey, a field of strawberries full of sunshine, wine and ofc: aizawa, hawks, chifuyu, eren!, and deadass momo 😭

@yuki-no-akumu — momo my love!! literally the most badass yes caring person i’ve ever met. she really takes no shit but still makes me feel safe and helps me stand up for myself more. overall a big sweetheart to people she cares about but still do not fuck with her. so fun to talk to or just sit in silence and listen to music with. 10/10 minecraft skills. daddy!

reminds me of: for some reason blood?, knives, yuuji’s hair 😭, neon green, pringles can…, literally just being horny, and ofc: baji, bakugo, aizawa!!, lowkey sukuna?, and tsuki :)

@weebaboobs — ame is literally the most precious person alive and the kindest ever. she always goes out of her way for me when she doesn’t have to and i’m so grateful for that and her :( not to mention drop dead gorgeous and she deserves all the love!!

reminds me of: amethyst, rose quartz, pretty pink flowers, sundresses, the beach and ofc: p much all the guys from bakusquad!

@nymphobunnie — my lola bunny 🥺 my sweet and pretty girl i love her so much. literally just the way she talks is so sweet and somehow comforting? idk how you do it. not to mention so talented and funny and i adore her :(

reminds me of: big mouth 😭🤚🏻, obvs lola bunny, sunsets on the beach, pastel colors (especially pink), angelcore, and haikyuu!

@devilzumi — the best boy sano!! literally nothing but love for them oh my god. always has the best thirsts and thirst ideas. an actual sweetheart and i will protect him with my entire being >:(

reminds me of: obvs haikyuu, blue hair, that little bear with the knife (is his name stew or am i stupid), teaching, sleeping 🤚🏻, and now hello kitty 😭

@tteokdoroki — AAALLIIII *sobs* the love of my life i can’t. the sweetest most talented person i have ever known. her writing is pure art and never fails to leave me stunned and horny :( my cutie baby girl, i would die for her. no one is allowed to come near her but me. she is everything!!!!

reminds me of: red + pastel pink, late night drives listening to music, holding hands!, pillow talk, cool fall nights, the ocean!, sharks >:) and ofc her husband (side eyes @ him) bakugo

@kinjuutsu — vi baby!!! literally so so so nice and always has amazing layouts! even though we don’t talk a lot, genuinely the vibes i get from her are amazing and i always get so happy to see her on the dash and when she interacts with me!!

reminds me of: vi from arcane!, arcane in general, my real name, overall jjk and the color purple!

it’s already been like 30+ min writing all of that ^^ so imma just list some stuff my other moots remind me of cause am getting tired :/

@prinvil — beyoncé, kanye 😀🤚🏻, memes?, screaming for no apparent reason, swag :)

@4toru — ofc baby blue, clouds, blue themed angelcore

@goddessdior — ofc dior, perfume, pretty smelling flowers, spring time

@zerisfelin — red, cherries, kirishima!

@touyasdoll — dabi!!, like so many shades of blue, being dabi’s perfect s/o

@xawkwardxderpx — theo from teen wolf, the colors yellow and green

@semisgroupie — (pastel) pink, softcore, mina, hajime and for some reason nanami

@omiishii — art!, haikyuu, sakusa

@honeymaki — women <33, ochako, maki, the colors green and pink, pretty flowers!

@dearbraus — sasha braus!!, fawn from tinker bell, wlw

@nkogneatho — royal purple, corpse husband?, euphoria, yandere characters

#𖤐. asks #𖤐. ask game #𖤐. anon #𖤐. moots #again: sorry if i didn’t add you! #i still love u lots i promise :(

[s-c-r-i-p-s-i]

Eternity

[Dead by Baelight’s Secret Santa 2020]

🖤 🖤 🖤

“Darling mine…”

The acoustics of the mind are unlike any other. His words roll into Feng Min’s consciousness like a sweet, sultry fog. Blanketing all. Filling every crack and crevice.

“If you don’t stop moving I’m going to have to strap you down.”

🖤 🖤 🖤 Pairing: Herman Carter (Doctor) x Feng Min

Rating: Explicit

CW: smut

Word Count: 960

“Darling mine…”

The acoustics of the mind are unlike any other. His words roll into Feng Min’s consciousness like a sweet, sultry fog. Blanketing all. Filling every crack and crevice.

It had taken a while for her to get used to the way he spoke - or, more accurately, communicated. Now the second voice in her head was almost as welcome as her own. Maybe even more so.

You could say Herman Carter lives in Feng Min’s head rent-free.

“Yes?” She answers the way lovers do, breathily, her eyes fluttered closed in concentration on the feeling of him filling her up so nicely. Perfectly conjoined. He caressed every wall.

“If you don’t stop moving I’m going to have to strap you down.”

He must have felt her clench around him in anticipation of him making good on that saccharine threat, - or perhaps merely caught the needy note in the sound she just made - because his next words are:

“You won’t find it very fun, I assure you.”

She has no doubt he means it. Herman would strap her to a gurney and just leave her there without so much as batting an eye - and not just because the things were permanently forced open.

But because she’d let him.

And sure, he’d indulge her. Eventually. But he’d make her wait long enough that it really wasn’t fun anymore.

God, It wasn’t fair! She wanted to drive him absolutely feral. Make him lose control. What a power trip that would be.

Instead, here she was, sat on his cock, and he was reading a fucking book.

She doesn’t understand how he can be so blase about it all. But he’s always been like this. Tolerant, sometimes even cooperative, but for the most part? Zero fucking interest. Even when they were in the heat of it, he seemed much more fascinated with her reactions - the sounds and twitches he could pull out of her - than anything else.

Min moves to adjust herself a little - for her own comfort this time, and this is apparently allowed, seeing as he says nothing, just quietly flips the page. But it gives her an idea.

“It’s uncomfortable,” She whines.

It’s not. She feels so, so full, but it’s not bad. Not painful. He would have never abided her grabby little hands coaxing him hard and allowed her to sink down on him if he thought she couldn’t take it. He is, in some ways, actually concerned about her comfort.

But he also takes no shit.

And the only thing that was uncomfortable was her arousal and how painfully not enough this was.

“You’re welcome to leave whenever you want,” he reminds her, and she feels a spike of irritation shoot through her as he has the audacity to cooly turn the page again without so much as a passing glance. “No one made you get up there, rabbit.”

Quite possibly Min’s least favorite of all his pet names for her. Sure, it was cute... until he explained it.

‘A bouncy, sex-obsessed nuisance animal.’ She remembered a thoughtful, almost impish pause. ‘Also, you stomp when you cum. It’s fitting,’ he said.

‘Fuck you’, she said.

Then he called her a paragon of eloquence and she stormed off somewhere.

So she’s not good at expressing herself. Big deal.

Even now, she’s vibrating with mounting anger, ready to reach up and snatch his collar and give him a piece of her damn mind.

The only thing stopping her is the fact that she has dick-brain at the moment and she hadn’t settled on what exact words she was about to lay down - but you could bet it was going to be colorful and choice. Whenever she figured it out.

As her anger starts to rise, so does she - a tic Herman has seen enough times to recognize.

He calls it ‘a lizard-brained threat response’ and apparently finds her ‘puffing herself up to look bigger’ incomparably hilarious.

She calls it ‘You’re a gigantic asshat, stop psychoanalyzing me.’

Min doesn’t even realize she’s doing it until she hears the odd split-tone note of both his telepathic giggles echoing off the caverns of her skull and the real, audible little huff of amusement from the back of his throat at the same time.

His hand comes to cradle the small of her back, and slowly, Herman eases her back down and towards him in something of an embrace, fingers gently stroking her back as he pins her to him.

Min has a hunch he only did it so he could read over her head, but much to her dismay, the constant pressure has the soothing effect of a weighted blanket, and she can feel the steam slowly leaving her.

Relaxing if only briefly, Min leaned into his warm chest and let her gaze idly roam around the study. Books upon books upon books.

“You need to learn how to slow down,” He tells her. “One can enjoy being immersed in a field of flowers without snorting all the roses like crack cocaine. Savoring is an important coping skill.”

He’s very good at dancing around her... problems. Gentle allusions. Open-ended questions. Exasperating impartiality. He is, at his very core, a therapist.

And she hates it.

All she wants to do is bounce on his dick. Why does everything have to be a teachable moment?

It’s quiet for a moment, the only sound in the study some boring documentary he had on the television, and eventually, the rasp of paper as he flipped another page.

There’s nothing physically stopping her from moving. Just the knowledge that, if she does, he’ll pluck her right off of him for 'distracting' him and 'not being good.'

“Quit your pouting,” He tells her. “We have eternity.”

Eternity.

What a scam. 🖤  🖤 🖤

Thank you for reading!!!

🖤  🖤 🖤  

Author’s Notes:

Okay, okay, okay - so this TECHNICALLY isn't a secret Santa present but I still wanted to feel like I ~participated~ and more importantly, give my darling @pugglers​ a little something for Christmas.

This is just a teeny tiny window into one of the dynamics I could see DocFeng potentially taking on, and I'll admit it ended up a lot more... wholesome (and a lot less smutty) than I was expecting.

This is also way more, idk, floaty and freeform and spur of the moment than I'm used to doing for a published work, so I'm a LITTLE insecure about it on multiple levels but here we fuckin goooooo!

---

Please comment if you enjoyed; I am a simple goblin who thrives on the external motivation.

You can find my socials and masterlist on my carrd!

Or, join my 18+ DBD thirst server 🔞 Dead by Baelight 🔞 here!

#dead by daylight #dbd #docfeng #doctor dbd #feng min #ficlet #scripsi #my writing

[babyybitchhh]

Just because someone isn't attracted to a person or character (who are of different ethnicities), doesn't mean they are racist. People have their own preferences in who they are attracted to. That doesn't mean they're racist. That's just their preference in who they are attracted to.

Okay, I’m not gonna allow this to turn into a big thing like the ass eating debate BUT I think you may have taken what I said a little too personally. That wasn’t directed at any one person or even certain groups of people, and I’m not of that opinion based off one or two specific individuals. Rather it’s fandom habits as a whole, and I’ve seen enough to know that by and large black characters are overlooked in favor of their lighter skinned counterparts. I mean, black characters show up so infrequently in Japanese media anyway (and their representation is ... another topic for another day) to the point where it really is easy to see this trend in action. Even if they hit ALL their charm points and have the looks to back them up, they still get mostly ignored. Why?

Heads up, I really got on my soap box with this one so feel free to keep scrolling

I actually saw a blog on here that was writing for Naruto who, with their whole chest, said they’d write for anyone except the Kumogakure characters (and Ino which, ew, I didn’t think someone with such terrible taste actually existed but 🤷‍♀️ here we are) and what do most of the Kumo ninja look like?

(I liked Omoi a LOT and Darui was nothing to shake your finger at either - and Mabui??? Good god, shes fucking gorgeous. Shikaku absolutely should have hit that while he had the chance, I know for a goddamn fact he was (respectfully) looking. )

But anyway I’m just not sure how you can look at something like that and not see color bias - and I used that wording very intentionally. Because even if you (that’s a general you) look at black or otherwise dark complexioned characters and decide they’re just not to your “preference” there’s still an underlying factor at play wherein, on a societal level, pale is touted as being attractive and melanin isn’t considered half as beautiful. It’s conditioned.

I have yet to see ANY self insert content for the above characters, or Ogun. I’ve seen VERY LITTLE for my man Avdol compared to the rest of the cast which, imo, is particularly telling because the Jojo fandom will even lewd a sadistic mold doctor (no shade, Ciccolata fans) but this absolute unit??

Only certain writers seem willing to take him on and me, personally, I’d rather see more smut of him than, say, Polnareff or Kira (no shade, stans)

Also I’ve seen maybe a handful of fics for Tosen PERIOD - not just self insert content - and half of that was pairing him with the big dog guy

Which is, again, indicative of a deeper issue considering how much thirst the light skinned characters generate by comparison.

And also someone I’d REALLY like to see self insert content for is Lock Rock, idk if it’s because he kinda looks like Eric Andre (man crush Thursday 🤪) or what, but I am feeling it

And don’t give me that “but he’s married and has a baby!” Bullshit when we’re out here lewding married man and father of four Enji Todoroki like we’re getting paid to do it. I want to see HC’s, smut, thirst, fics, something! Anything! Please!? (Seriously tho, does anyone have a hookup for ANY content of this man? 💀)

Now, don’t get me wrong here, I’m not innocent either. Ogun will be the first black character I personally write for but he’s not the first one I’ve found attractive nor do I glance over these characters based on their skin tone. If they’re hot, they’re fucking hot! Period!

And I think that’s what this boils down to, because even though you (still a general you) may not look at them and think “ew, they’re black”, if the color of their skin is the deciding factor for you then there is still a problem here.

Are you not attracted to that character because they don’t push your buttons right or is it ultimately because of their pigmentation?

Do you find yourself unattracted to every single black character you see, regardless of their facial features and other characteristics? (For example I’m not particularly attracted to Tosen but Lock Rock?? PHEW)

Ask yourself if there’s a single black person you DO find appealing.

I understand having preferences, I in fact have my own preferences, so that’s not the issue here. It’s also not “no one else is thirsting for Ogun, they’re all racist!” But rather “there is a very observable trend in fandom spaces where every character who appears to be black gets slept on and even if it doesn’t seem like racism on a surface level, the color bias absolutely exists on a broader spectrum and, yes, Ogun is definitely suffering from it”.

That’s it. I wasn’t calling YOU (you, specifically, anon) racist just because you don’t like Ogun, I’m saying that black people are consistently pushed aside in favor of light skinned people and it happens with alarming frequency even within fandoms which just goes to show how deep this issue actually runs. And that’s all just going off of how the CHARACTERS are treated, I haven’t even touched on how black readers/black artists/black writers are treated but then go ahead and amplify that to society as a whole and surely you can see why I’m going to call it what it is.

Plus I can almost guarantee that if Ogun had been “white” (I mean, he’d just be Shikamaru then but that’s neither here nor there cmdkxksksk) he’d have SOME content. Case in point, actual psychopath and certified star lord Rekka Hoshimiya even got thirst content from the fandom whereas the only black man in the series hasn’t gotten so much as a single HC. Trust me. I’ve scrolled to the bottom of his tag at least five times now. 💀

Literally the most I’ve seen is one or two people saying how attracted they were to Ogun and that’s it. A bitch literally cannot feed herself on such meager morsels, especially when Beni’s out here getting his 20th smut fic in a row - which is an impressive number for such a small fan base. Lmao Anyway my point here is that personal preferences are fine and dandy but when I can actually see the same trend repeating itself over and over, fandom after fandom ... there’s definitely something more than preference at play here. 🤷‍♀️

#I promise this is as preachy I’ll ever get on this blog #I’m just here to thirst and have a good time #but a bitch do be seeing things and she’s not impressed #if it was a one off thing that only happened now and again okay #but literally no matter which fandom I look at there it is #the elephant in the room #and I know I’ve seen other people complain about this shit #I’m not the first or last bitch who’s crushing on a black character only to find ZERO content of them #while the light toned characters are getting lewded left right front and center #just standing there like ... #🧍‍♀️ #ah so I guess I’m on my own with this one #huh #anyway just so there’s no misunderstandings here I am white so not only do I encourage black voices to chime in if you feel so inclined but #please! make the content you want and deserve to see! create your communities! #don’t let anybody convince you that you don’t have a spot in fandom spaces just as much as I do #I try to keep my reader inserts as neutral as I possibly can so I hope?? my writing doesn’t exclude anyone #and for any kings reading this I am willing to write male readers so just let me know? I have a pusspuss and I think #the majority of my followers do too so that’s what I default to as far as genitalia are concerned but I am flexible #this is actually irrelevant but uh I think of my favorite pieces is the fem!Muzan x male reader request I did lmao #it was not one of my more popular pieces tho ✊😔 #one of my* #wish I could edit tags on mobile 😅 #anyway I have no intention of answering any further asks on this topic I said what I said #you DONT have to agree with me but again if I’m seeing the same shit in every fandom I look at I think we need to address the bigger picture

[kinkymagnus]

Twi YouTube AU?? 👀

dlgjk ok i dont have a coherent au idea i just like the idea of like. 

alec being this confident youtuber man who does all sorts of shit, like funny vlogs and maybe some sketches with his siblings or some lets plays or something, idk, he’s just a popular youtuber like, idk, fuckin markiplier or something, you know, kinda does a lot of stuff. maybe some fashion/interior design shit? idk? but like. he’s pretty popular and if there’s any list on tumblr that’s like “some queer creators you should try watching” he’s always up there because he’s pretty open about being gay. maybe at first he wasn’t in the earlier youtube days but he had a pretty emotional coming out video and everyone was like “holy shit” 

meanwhile magnus is like, a quietly popular youtuber, you know? kind of a niche audience, but with decent numbers. he does a lot of things, like vlogs about being trans. like, oh my god. magnus documenting his transition? would that even be a thing? wait oh my god is this mundane au, or is this canon? because twi magnus who’s actually a warlock with a youtube channel would be hilarious but maybe not a good idea. you know what? how about a mix. he’s mortal and was born in modern times and all, he’s like the same age as alec–idk why but i’m thinking he’s like a few weeks older or a month or two older than alec and alec jokingly teases him about being old–but he like…. still has magic, because why the fuck not. actually, you know what? fuck it? it’s an au where magic is just openly a thing. not even necessarily canonverse magic, just. some people have magic. magnus does little tutorials and shit, he has a real talent for it and he’s actually really powerful but he hides that. (possible plotline: some paparazzi discover he’s like, a level ten mage, and it’s a scale from 1-10 and 8 is the most powerful u get most of the time, there’s been a few really famous 9s and there’s been one 10 ever and that was fucking merlin. you feel. because why not. idek fuck.) anyway he has little diy make your own magical charms and weaving enchantment and safe summoning circles and tips for writing magical contracts and shit like that. he’s this cute little nerd but he’s like incredibly knowledgeable and he knows how to teach it in a way that’s understandable and accessible? and he answers questions in really clear ways, and he does amazing demonstrations that look so cool people accuse him of editing but he’s just That Good. and he’s like, actually a really well-published wizard/magic scientist, he invented the fucking portal, but probably under a pseudonym because he doesn’t really want the attention. (his last name is fell in honor of his mentor. yes. although if he does multiple ones he may or may not also use loss, santiago, rollins, etc.) anyway he’s just so fucking good, he has all these videos explaining magical theory in pretty easy to understand ways (maybe going from really simple to like “i understand the basics here and am ready for the technical terms but need an overview” videos you know. 

also he doesn’t just do magic videos, because i said so. also maybe some blogs, and like. because i want to. some fashion/makeup tips. and it’s weirdly endearing because it’s not something you’d expect since he doesn’t wear makeup that often–although a) there are def gifsets of his full makeup looks on tumblr, and b) when he does occasionally decide to wear lipstick or eyeshadow or whatever, most of his fans are like omg yes!! u look cute! also headcanon: twi magnus wears less makeup in general but he still indulges in nail polish. mostly dark/muted colors on his fingers, but bright silly colors on his toes. NAYWAYWYA

also magnus bane is his chosen name because he wanted something cool and wizardy sounding and undeniably masculine. 

also he’s so fucking sweet like look his videos are pretty popular because they’re just handy but he’s not exactly like, a super popular celebrity or anything, you know? but when he does meet fans he’s so incredibly sweet and he does selfies and he’s very appreciative of his followers? he’s so genuine? 

and alec is way more popular–not that he’s not kind and appreciative of his followers. it’s just the thing is, magnus and alec are totally opposite sides of youtube. alec is friendly charismatic completely non-magical youtuber, he plays video games with his sister and like, does vlogs and reaction videos and shit you know. magnus is out here with educational tutorials and excited rambles about magical theory. (i feel like sometimes he accidentally starts doing groundbreaking research for a video and forgets to like, publish it first, and people are like wait what the fuck holy shit) 

but then they fucking meet. 

and a) they’re Instantly smitten. b) this will eventually result in the weirdest collab ever. 

like NO ONE would expect magnus bane, tarot reader and tutorial on magic diy and shit, occasionally does makeup videos and little vlogs and talks about Issues sometimes, to collab with typical hot vlogger gamer man alec lightwood. but it happens, and somehow it’s the best fucking thing ever.

i’m not sure how their channels collide. maybe alec plays a game involving magic and magnus talks about all the ways it’s right/wrong but it ends up just being bantering and giggling and magnus may or may not end up leaning into him on the couch their sitting on and giggling as he makes a stupid joke with the character in the game and immediately everyone’s like…… we ship it

not that i support irl shipping but u know how it goes, everyones like “damn they’re cute” and they’re both openly queer so there’s that. i mean, still not cool, but you know

but really tho they keep doing collabs after that and become actual friends and both start kind of….. doing things for each other’s channel? magnus does a thing like “interview with someone who knows nothing about magic” and we just see a total mundane take on magic and honestly it’s really interesting for both of them, we have more “magnus, who’s an Old Soul and despite having a youtube channel is actually not that great with technology, raphael does all the editing, tries to play video games and kinda fails at it but he gets the hang of some of them”?? he likes puzzle games and mariokart, he does NOT like super smash bros because “THE CHARACTER NEVER DOES WHAT I WANT IT TO ALEXANDER” “you’re just jealous bc i beat ur ass” “you wanna play mariokart again, lightwood?!” 

magnus does a tarot reading for alec, alec does a vlog with him just like “day in the life of alec lol :P” and there’s moments where he just comes up behind magnus like “hey what’s up” and magnus, who’s in rumpled home clothing, sees the camera and chuckles and kinda half heartedly waves it away, and the audience loses their mind at how cute he looks lkdhjgfh

they just become actual good friends, you know? it’s weird bc you wouldn’t think it would work but it really, really does

also on of alec’s fans at some point tries to make a transphobic crack at magnus during a livestream and alec goes OFF on his ass and it’s trending for the next week, the clip goes viral, it’s like “HIMBO GOES OFF ON HATERS FOR BEING TRANSPHOBIC TO HIS FRIEND/POSSIBLE LOVER?” and alec apologizes to magnus for all the attention it brought them but magnus is like “it’s okay, we can use this” and they end up using the hype to do one of those charity livestreams youtubers do and all the proceeds go to something like mermaids or the trevor project, you feel? they’re like “suck it transphobes look at all this money you got trans ppl” khjfgh

ok but eventually they do get together, not on camera, and while it’s slow at first and kind of secret (from the internet, not from friends and family) they’re also not super subtle. they know they’re not, but they’re just sort of like “it’s no one’s business, we’ll announce it when we’re ready”

and honestly tho they love each other so much

also i’ve just decided it’s not uncommon for strong magic-users, even like, level 4 or 5 and up, to have marks, so while his cat eyes are usually glamoured maybe he showed them after a q&a or in a vlog or something? and there are like. lots of gifsets of this, okay, and like, lots of thirst comments. which are like, this weird mix of slightly uncomfortable, really flattering/validating, and embarrassing (in a good and bad way). anyway, magnus has cat eyes in this au, because i fucking said so.

ANYWAY back to their relationship, they’re in love

how did they meet? maybe at a con they bumped into each other, or a totally random fan was like “y’all should do a collab” and everyone was like “what”

or maybe a mutual friend and fellow youtuber, meliorn, who is a nonbinary youtuber who fucking has a sword don’t question me, introduces them? 

idk. but when they meet they hit it off instantly and flirt and end up getting coffee and they don’t date for a while (maybe mutual pining/misunderstandings like “oh he doesn’t like me like that, but it’s okay, we can still be friends :)” or something lkfgjhfgh) but eventually they end up getting together

how? no idea. let me think about it.

idk why but im thinking they’re filming at magnus’s apartment and they’re on his couch and just. late night. they’ve finished up filming but they’re still bantering and maybe playing some video game like mariokart or watching a movie together and just. magnus is leaned all the way into alec, just snuggled up and pressed close against him, alec ends up putting an arm around him, and alec cracks a joke or teases him and magnus sits up a bit to like, poke his chest or flick his nose (you know what i mean? like in an otp person a shifts, still kinda sitting in their lap, and is like [playfully hits shoulder or boops nose or something] and now they’re making eye contact and person b ends up pulling them into a soft kiss???) anyway THEY MAKE EYE CONTACT AND ALEC PULLS HIM INTO A SOFT KISS and alec almost pulls away when he realizes what he’s done but magnus makes this soft little happy noise and leans into him, kissing back, and they just end up kissing for a bit and when they break apart alec is just looking up at him with breathless wonder and magnus is looking down at him with that same soft reverence and alec blurts out something like “you’re magical” and magnus just loses it and he’s giggling and leaning against alec’s chest and alec starts laughing too and magnus can feel the vibrations in his chest and it’s just so nice and pleasant and wonderful and they may or may not end up making out 

they have to talk about it in the morning when they end up falling asleep together in magnus’s bed, cuddled close, but they find, to both of their delights, they both want to date and be in a serious relationship and it’s so fucking good ok 

they go to dinner and the transition from friendship to romance is a little awkward but so worth it, especially when they realize HEY IT’S BOTH YOU DONT STOP BEING FRIENDS WHEN YOU DATE. i mean like, they didn’t not know that, but it’s like, idk how to explain you know they’re kinda like “are we doing this right” and then they’re like “fuck doing it right we can keep cuddling on the couch and giggling and bantering over stupid shit and watching dumb movies and kicking each others asses in video games it doesn’t matter we just also kiss and have dinner more often and sleep together and also we may or may not be in love” 

also they’re That Couple. they’re like straight to the honeymoon, they’re domestic from the first week. magnus is casually doing magic around the house (imagine: he just dyes his hair on a whim and grows it out a little bit and alec is like “i love u no matter how u style ur hair and stuff, and like, ur usual look is so fuckin cute and handsome, but also I Love This.”) but like he’s like (casually summons small ball of light to read book at night) (casually makes alec little protective charms–side note alec def makes him some of these too, but he asks magnus’s old mentor, ragnor, and two of his friends that can do magic, catarina and dot, to enchant it, since he can’t himself, and having magic woven by people who care about him will make it stronger. oh mhyhogfd) and just like. magic used to be something he mostly kept to himself (this def has something to do with his parents–his mom, who he thinks killed herself because of his eyes/magic, his birth dad who’s a powerful sorcerer–level 9, actually, and they think magnus is level 8 for a long time–who was an abusive fuckstick) and then he started doing youtube and it was a kinda show, a gift, something to share, but still not really something he just used openly in front of people he cared about (other than his close friends, since most of them do magic too anyway) but with alec it’s so easy to do that casually?? it’s so easy to just feel comfortable and safe????? yes

anyway they do eventually “come out” as boyfriends, maybe something short and sweet like just. a tweet of magnus sleeping curled up on alec’s chest and he’s like “god i love my boyfriend

they were already not subtle but now that they’re not hiding it they’re so fucking blatantly in love tbh. they do one of those boyfriend tag videos and it’s fucking adorable, at high request they do some couples games kind of videos, like the newlywed game and fuck marry kill (mostly on alec’s channel but magnus has a few, too) and it’s just HIGH QUALITY FUCKING CONTENT

also originally i was just thinking something along the lines of “in canon verse, twi alec is instagram famous/famous on social media and he gets cute tarot boyfriend and is like look at my cute boyfriend and then magnus’s small insta account mostly for his business gets a fuck ton of new followers and alec’s gets a considerable amount too” and now i’m imagining everyone from their respective audiences first thirst-following the other, then actually getting invested 

but really tho they’re the internet’s hottest couple for a while it’s great

for some reason i’m picturing them doing a live tour now, with like, accessible tickets and magnus does magic live on stage and idek what else they’d do tbh but it’d be fun as fuck

anyway this au got away from me

me: i dont have any real coherent ideas

also me: [vomits a 2,500+ word ESSAY] 

#malec #magnus bane #alec lightwood #shadowhunters #twi #twi malec #trans magnus #long post #youtube au

[atinytokki]

Here’s my first impressions (aka this is what 2020 is gonna sound like folks)

Alright so I’m really behind today, as some of you know I literally just got back from vacation and it’s also my first day of classes this semester and it’s just craziness. Yes I’m posting the first chapter of Yeosang’s spin-off today. But people seemed to like my first impressions of the last album so I’m going to do them again. Thankfully (?) this album is a lot shorter so I can pause and talk about stuff.

Warning! a loooong post, squealing, incoherent thoughts smashed together, and crying ahead. A lot of crying. Keysmashes included.

Post-MV thoughts before I listen to it again: There’s way too much to focus on and I’ve watched it many many times to look at the choreo and the storyline stuff that’s happening, but this is my first time listening without the video so I’ll notice more musically this time. But first I wanna say; YEOSANG’S LINES!!!! I’ve been screaming for forever that he has a beautiful deep voice and needs to be given parts that compliment it. And wow it finally happened :’) Anyway here we gooo

건배하자 like a thunder!! Can you believe they literally spoiled the entire hook of their next song in Beginning of the End? *flashbacks to my utter confusion when that happened* San sounds amazing and I like the little echoey thingies. Gives it a real nostalgic feel. Jongho already popping off vocally barely 10 seconds in. Mingi’s rap here and the transition to Hongjoong’s— rap line goals. The attitude in that mm-mm made me smile ngl. This prechorus might be my favourite part of the song. Seonghwa sounds heavenly. An EDM drop bringing back that hook, good decision and again it kinda feels nostalgic?? Especially the oh-oh-ohs which are also giving me a pirate drinking song vibe wow 0.0 Wooyoung with that 불러 불러 lol. Yes the Yeosang part!! I love a good post-chorus switchup and he. handled. it. perfectly. There’s even harmony, yall know how much I love harmony. And SINGING RAPPERS AHAHDJAHAK YESSSSS. Back to that glorious prechorus but it’s Yunho’s turn. This chorus is just such an anthem. I’m bopping rn. San in this bridge— he said I am a VOCALIST listen to my beautiful VOICE. Yay the rappers going back and forth again!! It’s like If Without You. Man I can’t believe I get to replay this song forever. 2020 is gonna be lit. You hit those notes Jongho! I’m always blown away by this kid, and that scoop earlier mmmm. Just nodding very energetically right now. Perfect end to the song. 100/10!!!!

Okay I’m pausing before the next one starts because no I am not prepared. It’s just like last time; I know Hongjoong wrote this and I know it’s gonna ruin me but I have no idea how and when and what it’s even gonna be like but anyway, too bad, let’s just go.

Oh kinda futuristic sounding opening with the synths? Yooo the vocal thingy in the background, sounds like a sample of some kind, that is super cool and I hope we get more of it. Ok I paused just to write that, let me unpause. This is gonna be a long one, I can already tell, sorry guys 😅 And the beat changed right before the vocalists came in. definitely a back and forth thing here in two registers, very sweet. Wow. WOW MINGI WOW. This rap is?? It sounds super mature and idk just full of confidence. I’m shook. Ok the chorus. Holy cow this is LIT lit. Nope nope I need to pause and go back. This is so chaotic, I feel like I’m missing things?? I’m listening to that chorus again because there were so many elements there. I just wanna take this song and break it down second by second to hear every single sound hahahah. I’m only catching an odd word or two here as far as lyrics go. Oml harmonies 💆🏻‍♀️ Alright Hongjoong’s rap. OMG if he sounded sassy in Answer this is a whole new level and I LOVE IT. Flow is 100/10. The “are you gonna take me there” gives me chills. This song needs a dance this chorus is TOO LIT. Am I at a rave rn??? Oh thank God the bridge took it back a level. Ok I’m pausing because I think I caught some of the lyrics this time. If I’m not wrong I heard 난 궁금해 저 끝이 궁금해, 더 가까이 조금 더 가까이 ? Which is something like “I wonder, I wonder about the end. Closer, a little bit closer” if I heard correctly. I need to look up the lyrics in full later because Hongjoong has a big brain and his lyrics are always 🤯🤩 Ok unpause. Final breakdown! Yep this is going on repeat the rest of today. Jongho yussss with the ad libs. No it’s over ㅠㅠ Alright this one is already vying for top spot this album. We shall see. But I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. HONGJOONG GENIUS.

Um so yeah I saw them perform this live for their anniversary thingy and cried so this should be fun. At least I already know the song so how much can it hurt me? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Smart of whoever put this album together to stick this song right in the middle and make us cry between head banging to the other songs. Mingi in the beginning is just 💖💕💘💝💓 San ballad king. I need more ballads from him. Jongho, of course, with perfect vocal control. Oh Seonghwa too, I need more ballads from him. Wooyoung with T H A T part. A tear is forming, I just love this chorus. People are saying the song should be in a drama and I 100% agree. Everyone together FOREVER YOU ARE MY STARRR. The little drum frills it’s so cute :(( Yay Hongjoong, and his cute little voice I’m UWUWU. Wooyoung with the high note and I’m ascending........... Chorus again and this is the real meaning of crying in the club. It just occurred to me that the second verse seemed really short. Yeosang + Hongjoong + that guitar in the bridge is *chef’s kiss*. This is so emotional, do we really need to do this at 4am?!? I’m just gonna vibe for a sec, it’s the last chorus. The ad libs were so perfect and the way it ended— wow. I need a moment.

From my understanding this is a full version of the Precious Overture they gave us last album. Tempted to go back and see my first impressions about that one, but either way i have a distinct feeling my wig is about to be snatched. Let’s GOOO

So far, it’s starting the same. Creepy humming and all. Okay scratch that, we have a vocal melody. Yunho sounds great ugh I’m so proud. Sorry, San’s voice just takes me to another plane of existence or something, how can it be that smooth and gorgeous, someone please explain. Building to something now... Oo. OO?! Hongjoong’s rapping. This is so cool oh wow, and into this vocal part which I believe is the chorus?? wOW wow it’s amazing to hear this having already heard the bgm, this is like a new level of appreciation. It really all goes well. Ah we have a switch up now with Seonghwa. guys GUYS GUYS you know how I feel about switch ups. Sorry I’m going back to catch something. The tempo changed here and really grabbed my attention. The bass is also super cool, it’s actually the same melody as the treasure opening (and the opening of this song) but much lower, I believe. Uh oh guys this might be vying for top spot too. Let’s continue. Ok Mingi’s rap which I’ve already heard. Um I’m confused now. It’s Hongjoong’s rap again? Is this the chorus?? Woah woah hold on I gotta pause. Because. Wait, what?? This is the chorus??!? Yoooooooo bold move! I have no idea what is going on but I love it. Continuing on. Ah yeah ok the vocal part with Yeosang again, so I guess the rap + vocal part is the chorus? Also I neglected to mention but Yeosang is killing this song. Ooh okay this bridge is building some suspense. Feeeelingggggg.... And now a shouted version of the rap for the final chorus. Okay wow I’m impressed that they took it this direction. And Jongho with the ad libs is PERFECTIONNNN. Oop okay they’ve added the revised-lyric Treasure part to the end here. And the lyrics are the same as in Precious (Overture) so I’m guessing we still didn’t find the treasure, good grief. How long is it gonna take to find this treasure 😅. And it ended like that. Well. WOW. Again, I could listen to this on repeat all day. Again, I am deceased. Instant fave.

I’m pretty sure this is the exact same as I already heard on the trailer thingy but we are gonna react to it anyway.

The orchestra really loosens my tear ducts like nothing else. It’s beautiful, who else is doing it like them?? “Did you find your treasure?” Yes, I found ATEEZ 🥺. The way he says “finally found it” . This is Maddox btw. Also about Maddox, hang on I’m gonna pause for a PSA: guys if you don’t know Maddox please PLEASE check him out. He’s doing the amazing narration on this (and Intro too), he’s a soloist under KQ and one of Ateez’s hyungs who they look up to. In addition to his superior narrating talents, he is also an amazing vocalist. If you like R&B and lo-fi music I would definitely recommend him, he just dropped a single called Color Blind, his insta is xxmaddox, he’s a great guy and YEAH that’s all for my plug but go stan him, he is deserving and proof of the fact that KQ artists are talent through and through. Unpausing! The way the orchestra swells and then goes into a piratey sounding theme is so motivating and familiar :))) “Can you hear those voices?” HNGJRKSNDN WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE SCARY. This is the Epilogue, it’s supposed to be like the denouement, the falling action!! The bad guys should be gone now! What’s next?? Treasure Ep: Answer to Question? Because that’s what I have after this album! More questions!!! Anyway, the bass here and the humming 👌🏻 100/10 for the instrumental. And in ATEEZ fashion, they leave me thirsting for more.

So that was my first impression/live reaction to the mini album! I think it’s Horizon and Precious fighting for #1 currently. Maybe I’ll reblog with second and third and fourth impressions... Thanks for reading if you got this far! And tell me what your first impressions were and if I missed something big while I was keysmashing. TTFN~

#ateez #ateez action to answer #ateez answer #ateez reactions #ateez first impressions #first impressions #keysmash #liveblog #tokki.txt

[animefinatic]

Boku no Hero S4 Thoughts

Some thoughts I’ve had after watching all the way to episode 25 (or episode 88 in the overall series) and I just wanna share them. If you haven’t seen it (dubbed individuals) I suggest you not read it.

1. This season starts out simple enough taking into consideration of All Might’s retirement. And I felt so uneasy about reporters snooping around and putting a student in the spotlight as a possible ‘next symbol’ but! Taneo turned out to be a swell guy and protects part of the big secret between Izuku and All might. By the end of the episode I find myself hoping nothing bad happen to him.

2. Being introduced to Nighteye brought something to my attention that I thought about back in s3 but none of the characters themselves have brought up and that’s the fact that Mirio is A LOT like All Might he has an overly simplified face but he’s a sunshine boy who’s very friendly, chipper, and strong. He blew back the tougher members of class 1-A in a heart beat. I think Mirio is a good idea of what All Migh could have been like in school days.

That being said being introduced to Nighteye the similarities weren’t for nothing. The fact that Mirio was super close to being the successor but it was just by chance All Might ran into Izuku really changes the game. It kinda hurt for see Nighteye outright dismiss Izuku as in his heart he had already considered Mirio as the rightful successor. The disrespect. It was a little charming he was a big of All might. Also with Nighteye’s intro came the chilling prophecy of All Might dying. It’s been brought into the void by a guy who can see into the future so even though he prophacized Izuku dying in the Eri rescue mission and it didn’t come true I think this one will be true. I’m not ready to see how this death will come about I just know it will hurt both me and Izuku Lastly, with how protective of my green sonI am, I can’t say I was too sad Nighteye died (I cried for Mirio’s sake though).

3. I love the attention this season was giving to other class members. I’m sure if I would stop being trash and read the manga I would have gotten more detail than I was given. But I really love getting a deeper dive into Kirishima. I thought it was neat to see which hero he looked up to, part of where his hero name came from a hero called Crimson Riot. Like dude dyed his hair and everything when he enters UA because he wants to reinvent himself. I like that it’s okay to be scared sometimes but part of being a hero is going for it anyway. I liked that Mina was in his middle school as well. I think it’s neat to have an idea of what she’s like back then as well. Also the moment where he goes onto unbreakable mode in his one on one fight with a villain. I’m proud of him later on in the arc when he’s in the Eri rescue mission. Overall 10/10 proud of him.

4. Okay I got some feelings to say. It’s common knowledge there’s not a lot of poc representation in anime. Most of the time, depending on the genre, they’ll be characters with unnatural skin color like green or blue and the blerd community will claim that character as a poc. However like flat out this character being black doesn’t come around too often. So to say the introduction of Rock Lock was a pleasant surprise. He was a bit annoying in the hero meeting to save Eri and his quirk wasn’t all that impressive (unless there’s manga details I’m missing) but I’m just glad he’s a black character and he looks really natural. Now as a black woman who has been watching anime since I was a small child, not having characters that look like me didn’t hinder my experience but seeing a black hero in this show for a bit was still very pleasant.

5. Overhaul...so I got a sneak peak back in s3 but seeing him in action. I’m not sure what my thirst community sees in this man. He’s ok looking but if I had to choose a villain to thirst on it would be Dabi. This man has no regards for human life. Like sure it started off wanting to pay back the yakuza boss who saved him but dude! Eri is the boss’ biological granddaughter! He should have been spoiling the hell out of Eri but instead he’s slicing this girl wide open and using her as a lab rat. Sickening! And according to the flashbacks the anime provides it really looked like he got petty and threw a tantrum when boss told him to stop playing these games and used his quirk to put the boss in a coma to take over to execute his plan. To be fair it’s a damn good plan and he would make so much money selling quirk canceling drugs to villains and quirk restoring drug to heroes. I also like that this is a direct result of All for One being taken out of the game reminding us that All Might and All for One were symbols for their respective sides and things are being set into motion because both leaders are gone. But at the end of the arc the little shit got what he deserved lost both of his damn hands. I do feel bad for the old man though, sure he was a yakuza boss but he was minding his own business just living life and will prob remain in a coma (unless manga stuff happens idk)

6. Eri, this baby girl has been through so much in her short life. She has a powerful life altering quirk she can’t control just yet. I think this is the first child character in a long time that hasn’t annoyed me. She deserves the world and how by the end of it she’s put in Aizawa’s watch to keep her quirk in check I can see where a lot of these Dadzawa headcanons are coming from. I also love how she has Mirio and Izuku as her big brothers and she’s just cute in every way I just....I adopted a daughter mentally. So when I say when she finally smiled I was just....over the moon I was up at 4am crying over this girl who spent her life being tormented and experimented on smile for the first time. And then it didn’t help that Izuku was in tears as she was excitedly talking about the performance and someone please save me from the overload of these kids.

7. Lastly I should talk about Mirio. This season focused a bit on the big 3 since making their debut in s3 which I enjoyed. But I mean Mirio is a pretty swell guy. He is All Might 2.0 imo. I initially worried what that would mean for Izuku as the next #1 hero. Since it’s implied Future Izuku is narrating we know he becomes #1 and the show is just his journey to getting there. Still I wonder how competitive to the top spot would be? He is the hero that has that smile-y persona that I think Izuku was going to (but has trouble with smiling in tough situations bless his heart) but I think with this guy in place Izuku will have to be a hero that only he can be, he can’t be exactly like all might. One because All might is All might and I think if anyone can get that close is Mirio. He’s also a little goofy which I find to be charming, I mean who doesn’t like a funny guy right?? I like the season takes time to show how hard he’d work towards being a hero with his quirk that’s apparently hard to manage according to his father. He worked at it and he’s on par with active pro heroes as that has been pointed out already. Now the fact he loses his quirk had been spoiled some time ago which I’m salty about but my heart broke anyway. But I have mad respect and admiration because he kept fighting even without his quirk. Now on his last breath, Nighteye used his quirk on Mirio and saw Mirio had a bright future ahead so I’m not sure if he can be a hero without it or, as people have hinted in the show, once Eri has gained more control and can rewind back to where his body has a quirk, it is possible considering the drug is a result of her powers. I wonder how long that will be for her to get to that point. Mirio will be behind his own classmates. As of right now, he’s an excellent big bro for Eri though. They are adorable together.

#bnha s4 spoilers #mha s4 spoilers #Vic’s inner thoughts #thats my opinion #bnha

[starsbythepocketful12]

ok like this has lowkey been stirring in my mind since yesterday morning and just I need to babble rant idk just let it all out

I’ve been a bts fan for less than four months. I really got into them in late September. Now it’s mid December. So like three ish months. Idk how they’ve grown to mean so much to me in such little time but now they mean the world to me. It breaks my heart knowing all the pressure they’re under. All the struggles they’ve faced. How they were so close to breaking up. How we were so close to losing them. It really makes me so sad.

I want nothing more than for everyone in BTS to be happy, healthy, safe, fulfilled and loved. I want them to feel proud of themselves. I want them to feel loved and appreciated and important because they are. I want them to know how much they mean to so many people. I want them to love themselves. It’s so easy to preach a message, and you know do as I say, not as I do, and easier said than done and all that. But they’ve spent the majority of their careers (even before they started releasing the love yourself albums) promoting the message of self love. And I really hope they’ve been able to achieve that for themselves. Or they remember to love themselves as well, instead of just focusing on helping their fans love themselves.

No artist talks about self love as much as they do. They’ve grown into some of the biggest, most successful mainstream artists in the world with one of the most devoted and loving fanbases ever. Why? Is it their looks? Their talent? Their skills?

It’s their message. It’s how they genuinely love and care for their fans and you can really hear it in their music. In their lyrics. It’s how they break the norm of writing all these romantic songs (not that they haven’t written romantic songs, because they have) and have gone to writing love letters to their fans and themselves! Songs like epiphany and answer love myself-literally a love letter to themselves! And pied piper, magic shop-love letters to the fans!

Not to mention they defy expectations and stereotypes in so many others ways. And they’re not afraid to be fluid with gender presentation, which for successful cis men in the public eye is a rarity in this world. And at least one of them has openly spoken about not being straight.

(Suga, real name Yoongi has said things like “I have no preference for gender” “I focus on atmosphere and personality, I am not limited to the opposite sex” interviewer asks what they look for in a girl, Suga responds “I want a PERSON who is likeminded and compassionate like me” saying person very adamantly, there’s a lyric in their song Cypher 3- “whether it’s a guy or a girl, my tongue will make you come” 👀 this bitch really out here rapping about how he’s so good at oral sex regardless the gender of the person he is guaranteed to make them orgasm alright a bi king we see you)

And while that might not be as big of a deal in western cultures cause plenty of other artists are openly not straight, right? In South Korea (or just Asia in general) lgbt stuff is still very taboo and their society is nowhere near as accepting. I think homosexuality is still illegal-i know for sure there’s still a ban on same sex marriage in South Korea. There are barely any people in the industry who are openly not straight so it is incredibly incredibly brave for Suga to say things like that-and as a not straight person myself constantly thirsting for representation, it means a lot.

And gosh don’t get me started on RM/Namjoon, how he released a song with the lyrics “know you love me boy so that I love you” the day after South Korea announced their ban on same sex marriage, how he once said in an interview “when we don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend” how he purposefully made the lyrics of the song Serendipity gender neutral because the emotions the song represents transcend genders, cultures, and barriers between people, how he said the love represented on their love yourself: answer album isn’t just about love between a man or a woman-or all genders, in his UN speech in September when he said “no matter your skin color or gender identity-I want you to speak yourself”

Ok lemme stop myself right there I said don’t get me started and here I am getting myself started oof okay back on track

It just means the world to me as a nonbinary lesbian (especially in a fandom that often feels as if it’s made up of just cishet girls) seeing them say things like that and do things so openly recognizing the LGBT community like I feel so seen and validated and ugh anyway what was I saying before going on my gay tangent

The reason BTS is so well known and successful is because they’re not like anyone else. They touch people and reach them in a way no one else has before and they’re truly something special-I really think they will be remembered as legends up there with the Beatles. I’m just so grateful for them and they make me so happy. As someone who has spent the last year working really hard on myself mentally and emotionally, who has been trying really hard to love myself, BTS has been a huge help and motivator and I can’t put into words how much I appreciate it.

I’ve learned so much from them. I adore them beyond words. I’m so grateful they exist, that they use their platform in the way they do, that they’re such wonderful human beings, and most of all-I’m really grateful to them for staying. They revealed in an acceptance speech at an awards show yesterday that they were considering disbanding at the start of this year. I’m so, so, so, so, so, so, SO grateful to them for staying. Thank you so much for staying, BTS. We don’t deserve you. Thank you. I purple you. I’ll try to be a fan you deserve to make up for all the hard stuff you’ve had to endure that made you want to quit, okay?

A part of me doesn’t know why I’m writing this to them as if they’ll read it-they’ll never see this and only one of them would be able to understand it, as Namjoon’s the only one fluent in English-but I just really hope they know we feel this way. We don’t deserve you. Thank you.

There’s so much more to say but I really want to get breakfast so imma go now. Just-I love you. Thank you. A million times over, thank you. I’m so proud of you. You deserve all the success you’re getting. 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

#bts #go off adrian #i wrote this more for me than anyone else keep in mind #i barely revised it its mostly a word vomit #sorry im an emotional mess #a puddle of feelings after yesterday

[survivor-guyana]

Immunity Results #3

Meet Your Judges!

DAN

Hi sisters, it’s Dan, king of half faced selfies, here to roast your lip syncs

NEHE

Hi sisters, it's Nehemiah, king of not winning a game he deserves to win, here to judge you guys like you never been judged before, p.s Tim stop stealing my role as the one straight black guy in the org community

CHARLOTTE

hi sisters, i’m back from the dead and ready to roast some bitches. i honestly don’t remember if i’ve played more than one main season but i was in kuang si and really that’s the only one that matters. not sorry!

CONNOR

hey sisters, hope you missed me because im still not coming back.

DENNIS

Hi sisters, I was forced to write this start. But entertain me

JESS

About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him-and I didn't know how potent that part might be-that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

HOSORORO

Dan: 31/50

Theme: 5 - No real theme tbh, I guess the editing incorporated some nice colors and stuff. I wish y'all could have been more in sync with a theme tho. Maybe I'm just being critical.

Creativity: 5 - The editing was creative, I liked the effects and the added little bits that went along with the lyrics. I think the difference between this video and the others tho was that the others tried something new and exciting to spice up their videos. Was it more creative? Maybe? There's nothing wrong with picking a bop and lip syncing, but it's 2019 ladies, spice it up.

Effort: 7 - She may have bought that hair, but y’all yanked it right off. I think some of you really tried harder than others, but I stan when people just do their best and record where and when they can. It shows dedication and I like that shit. I think that the effort into learning the lyrics without reading them off the screen and dedication to filming in the car kind of showed y'all want this.

Composition: 7 - BITCHHHHH I’M GAGGGGGT. It’s 240p, but honestly Ariana Grande who? Whoever edited this made it seemless, but honestly the low quality needs to get clocked a few points.

Entertainment Value: 7 - The dancing, the outfits, the lip sync skills? A bitch was entertained. While the other videos tried to make things new and exciting, y'all delivered what I think of as more of a successful project.

Jess: 34/50

Theme 8/10. If I had to say the theme, I'd guess that it's "bad bitches" which you all are.

Creativity 5/10. If a 0 is 1 person playing basketball instead of lip syncing at all, and a 10 is a full out choreographed dance number done by your entire tribe, I think this falls solidly in the middle. I don't think there is a lot about this that sets it apart from past music videos I've seen, but I don't think it is bad.

Effort 8/10. It seems like most of your tribe members were at least majorly involved and tried to make this good! And you all put effort into the dancing/attitude you had, it felt like everyone tried to match their actions to the song.

Composition 6/10. I think the editing is good and it matches the timing of the music which is nice, the cuts are usually on the beats! But it did get a little repetitive after a while, like I felt as though the same thing was happening throughout the whole video and there wasn't a variety in the images/cutting style/etc. I also think it was hard to tell if the video was in sync because for some reason y'all are in 2007 and only uploaded this at 240p???? Are you guys all over the age of 45 why did you do that. Finally, the flickering glitter filter was cool at the start, but I wish you'd spiced it up and not just used that throughout the entire video, also at points it was a little distracting due to the bright colours that would pop up.

Entertainment Value 7/10. Six of these points are for the girl who was in the car because she was killing it and I loved her. I took points off for a similar reason I had above -- it felt like the video was one note and I wish you guys had a little more variety throughout.

Dennis: 38/50

Theme: 6/10 Creativity: 8/10 Effort: 8/10 Composition: 8/10 Entertainment: 8/10

I know I will get alot of hate comments for this, but this in general is not really a song to lipsync too. EITHER WAY I think you did a good pretty good job with it. All of you seemed to enjoy yourself and the editing was enough to keep my attention throughout the whole video. I didn't really get the theme, but overall it was a very entertaining Lipsync!

Connor: 35/50

Ok this is good. You clearly all worked together artistically so that your individual shots were coherent. Im not crazy about the pink strobe kinda thing going on through the entire video but you were all performing and this is well done. Theme: 7 Creativity: 6 Effort: 8 Composition: 7 Entertainment Value: 7

Charlotte: 42/50

Theme:  IF THE THEME WAS FABULOUSNESS YOU ACHIEVED IT. ARIANA WOULD BE PROUD.  8/10

Creativity:  I feel like you could have done a little bit more with some of the lyrics but all in all I loved this video and now I'm just being picky. 7/10

Effort:  See above. I think you could have done a little but more but keeping the pink aesthetic through your editing and ALL THAT DANCING werk werk werk.   8/10

Composition:  Love. That. Aesthetic. 10/10  PLUS YOU'RE ALL IN THE SAME CAMERA ORIENTATION I LOVE THAT. LOVE THAT FOR YOU.

Entertainment Value:  FUN, ENJOYABLE, FLAWLESS, NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE. 9/10

Nehe: 44/50

7 8 9 10 10

Now this is a fucking music video work bitches work

TOTAL: 224

ARAKAKA

Dan: 29/50

Theme: 7 - Annoying advertisements? Trying to show the effects of product placement on our every day life? I loved it haha I was shook.

Creativity: 6 - V creative, but was it really a music video? I guess parts were but I also was like so lost after a while. I think song choice is always important and I was so bored during the song parts. I wish you had made the song part as creative as the ad parts.

Effort: 4 - Honestly the effort was misfocused on the ads and less on the music video, was I mad about it? only like 50%. the song was boring and just kinda blah so it was interesting

Composition: 5 - Choppy, but I can’t edit so rip

Entertainment Value: 7 - Honestly this how to video taught me so much and I’m shook. THE POPCORN I LITERALLY SCREAMED. While I nodded off during the music video portion, I stanned the ads

Jess: 32/50

Theme 6/10. I think your theme was ads? I didn't really understand it but it was fun and unique.

Creativity 8/10. I have never seen anything like this that's for sure.

Effort 4/10. It seemed like everyone in your tribe was in the video I think? But most of the stuff you guys submitted was 1 take/shot and wouldn't have required a lot of editing, which is the most time consuming/effort requiring portion of the challenge so...

Composition 5/10 The editing of the commercials was pretty good, but it didn't flow as well as it should have because the audio levels were a bit all over the place. Also at one point it was in colour and out of focus but I wasn't sure why? Also a+ for doing your video in 1080p (@ other tribes take note). Since the actual music video portion was just one shot, I feel like I can't really give you a higher rating than the other tribes in this category.

Entertainment Value 9/10 First frame: a guy in a Stitch onesie with a bottle of tequila and a mug that says "ray of fucking sunshine"?? I laughed immediately. Then I was shook when later I realized it was actually a shot glass and was close to the camera and it got even better. This whole video was wild and I had no idea what was going to happen so I was pretty entertained.

Dennis: 45/50

Theme: 8/10 Creativity: 10/10 Effort: 8/10 Composition: 9/10 Entertainment: 10/10

This is probably the last kind of video which I expected in a challenge like this. I think it was really creative and connected entertainment with comedy and a nice little theme. I am very impressed good job!

Connor: 20/50

“””””Acting””””””” “””””””Edgy”””””””” Eggs?? Im vegan. What was the point of this? Was there a point? Pop corn girl gets you an extra point but this is not a music video. To quote bandersnatch, you chose the wrong path.

Theme: 3 Creativity: 6 Effort: 4 Composition: 4 Entertainment Value: 3

Charlotte: 34/50

Theme:  I've been out of the ORG world for awhile but is this what music videos are now??? I feel like the music video of your video was sorely lacking. YouTube loves ads but not that many!!!!! I did think the ads were pretty creative though so I marked up points for that below. 6/10

Creativity: See above. 9/10

Effort:  It wasn't just straight up lip syncing so I gotta reward you guys for that. 8/10

Composition: That black and white switching to color towards the end got me fucked up. 6/10

Entertainment Value:  To quote the person sitting beside me: "OMG another ad?"Cute concept, not sure it works as a music video but you tried.  5/10

Nehe: 35/50

6

6

6

7

10

Honestly this was something i never seen before and i enjoyed it hahaha

TOTAL: 195

TAKAMA

Dan: 26/50

Theme: 6 - Cats? Bikes? Awkward White People Dancing? Are these the themes you went for? If so, y’all killed it haha, but it wasn't cohesive and I don't get what y'all were going for really.

Creativity: 5 - honestly, I stan an original song choice bc I haven’t seen this before, but also, a song like this needs to be sold and I don't know if y'all pulled out all the stops. I would have liked to see more passion from some of you in the props and theatrics department.

Effort: 5 - Some of you seemed to try a little harder than others, but overall y’all were feelin it

Composition: 5 - A little choppy, but I can’t edit for shit so like good job?

Entertainment Value: 5 - Okay Miss Tim with that bike balance, idk your name sis (maybe Jones) but striped sweater, pm me on skype – dan.disbrow so I can buy it ty. Other than that I don't really remember much besides a lot of cringey dancing.

Jess: 29/50

Theme 1/10. Tbh I don't really know what the theme was here, did you guys forget this category??

Creativity 4/10. Pretty much the same reason that I gave Hororo's tribe a 5, I'm giving you a 4. I am taking one point off because they at least did some stuff to make their video more unique/specific to their song whereas I think you guys could have used this editing style/dancing/etc to any song and it would have also worked, so it wasn't super unique.

Effort 9/10. Everyone who was in the video seemed really into it and did a good job having fun! But this is a 6 person tribe... one person wasn't in it and they weren't the editor?? You should vote them out if you lose.

Composition 9/10. The editing flowed well, you showed everyone on the tribe a pretty decent amount, and everyone's individual videos were pretty on point for lip sync? Usually when people film on their webcams it's not in sync, but these were all really good! You lose one point because the video quality was low and wasn't 1080p which it really should be.

Entertainment Value 6/10. I liked everyone's attitude and dancing and I loved the cats. I originally had 5 but then I remembered the cats and went back and added another point. But I wish you guys had done something unique for each mini song, like maybe divided them up amongst your tribe, or had people change outfits or something? If you had done that, I'd have given you way more points for theme and entertainment value. But because it was kind of repetitive/one note, it's hard to say I was REALLY entertained the whole time.

Dennis: 37/50

Theme: 9/10 Creativity: 7/10 Effort: 8/10 Composition: 7/10 Entertainment: 6/10

Comment: What stood out for me in your video was the theme. I assume that you wanted to mimic the fans v faves theme with a riff off and I thought that was actually quite smart. Everything else seemed to be for me what I would expect from a lipsync, but besides the theme nothing that stood out to me especially.

Connor: 27/50

The lip sinking is a little off at times (im coming back to this part, in the middle / two ish minute point-on it is not good) and I think the transitions from song to songs could have been smoother, but I think this is creative in terms of it being a mashup. I think there could have been more “music video” aspects to it. In addition to y’all singing. EXTRA POINT FOR THE CATS ( stripped sweater??? who is this??? Queen????)

Theme: 5 Creativity: 6 Effort: 6 Composition: 4 Entertainment Value: 6

Charlotte: 28/50

Theme: Was your theme Pitch Perfect? Like, I'm not sure whether or not there was anything you guys planned out but it really just seemed kind of randomly thrown together.  5/10

Creativity: I liked the cats? 6/10

Effort: See above. I feel like y'all just kind of threw this together? It was missing something for me. The person in the stripes pulled it together for you though so 7/10

Composition: Y'all really out here in 2019 not filming in the same orientation? I'm deducting 50% for that. It's a travesty. Also, if one person does a filter and no one else does, does it really make sense? IDK.  3/10

Entertainment Value: ... again, I liked the cats. Plus the stuff with the bicycle was weirdly entertaining.  7/10

Nehe: 31/50

TOTAL: 178

Thank you judges!

That means, Takama, I will be seeing you that tribal council on January 28 at 10 pm est.

[vaarulvarchive]

RULES: once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. at the end, choose some other people to play!

TAGGED BY: stolen from @ofanimagi bc i want more stuff to do as i procrastinate  TAGGING: dude as before, see this, wanna do it? g’head ;D 

LAST…

[1] drink: fanta orange  [2] phone call: it was either jack or samantha last night... can’t remember which one was first!  [3] text message: something from jack  [4] song you listened to: demons by frank turner  [5] time you cried: ahahah fuck literally thursday night in work it was The Worst 

HAVE YOU EVER…

[6] dated someone twice: idk what counts here tbh uhm... i mean tbh, i’ve never actually been on a date-- unless we count ‘date nights’ with people i’ve been in relationships with uh?? but been in relationship with someone, stopped, then started again? yikes uhm. yes. i’ve been very guilty in the past of getting back into toxic relationships. yaaay for always feeling i deserved it.  [7] been cheated on: hah, yep. ties into the last thing.  [8] kissed someone & regretted it: actually... no? i don’t think so? even the bad relationships/hook ups that turned sour, i’ve never actually had regrets and wished i’d not done it so??  [9] lost someone special: yeah, strange that it’s been almost ten years  [10] been depressed: ‘been’ hah. i live with bipolar man, so yeaa.  [11] gotten drunk & thrown up: lIKE ONE TIME OKAY.... okay that’s a lie i’ve done it tHREE TIMES IN TOTAL. 

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

[12] red [13] green [14] black

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

[15] made new friends: sO MANY OKAY LIKE. the people on here, and people at work etc!  [16] fallen out of love: nope. i’ve certainly fallen out of liking people and cut friendships with said people, but no loss of love here.  [17] laughed until you cried: often  [18] found out someone was talking about you: i think only in a good way?? idk and i guess the other too hmm  [19] met someone who changed you: i don’t think i’ve met someone that’s like... changed me significantly?? but certainly, a couple of people i’ve met on here for example without really realising have had an effect on me in a positive way  [20] found out who your true friends are: nahh man i’ve had a pretty stable set of friends for a few years now and we’ve long stopped being the drama sort.  [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: jack’s the only one 

GENERAL…

[22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: pretty much all of them, most i haven’t seen in years-- a couple are friends from tumblr though  [23] do you have any pets: sadly not  [24] do you want to change your name: idk i’m fairly okay with it now?? i had a long time of not liking it but. idk. i still would prefer something more gender neutral but ehhh.  [25] what did you do for your last birthday: went up to jack’s, went out for food and drinks etc  [26] what time did you wake up: sometime around 9 [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: i think i was getting ready for bed  [28] name something you cannot wait for: uhhhh.... well i already saw beauty and the beast today and that was my thing so... the next thing is seeing jack on sunday i guess.  [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: uhm. hah. yeah. august 7th 2007, the day she died.  [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: it’s gonna seem selfish but honestly, my current financial status. if i could just have a lot of money right now my entire life would be better.  [31] what are you listening to right now: the sound of my typing??  [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: uhmmm.... gdi i really had to think, i think i knew someone when i was a kid? and i think there was a kid i knew through friends at college... aand i had an uncle on my dads side.  [33] something that gets on your nerves: as chill as i can be, honestly a lot gets on my nerves. first one i can think of right now is rude, fucking entitled old customers.  [34] most visited website: probs tumblr  [35] elementary: i’m english so it’s all named differently over here but, primary school was about three different ones before my final one being from year 4- finishing in year 6, a fairly nice church of england school. one class for each year.  [36] high school: again, different names so: secondary school for me was really big, a school that specialised in performing arts, maths and science. i chose it specifically bc of wanting to be an actor. it was alright. got me good grades but. it’s a hell i’d not return to.  [37] college: so again with different terms, college is to do a levels etc between the ages mostly of 16-18. i studied geography, english language, and communications & culture. it was amazing okay like. it was the best thing to happen to me after leaving a shitty school experience. and then university came later and yeeahh that was another big difference. but again, good timeeess!  [38] hair color: naturally i’m the whitest blonde. right now i’m brown/black/mess bc fading out  [39] long or short hair: at the moment it’s getting really long again. mostly bc i cannot decide for the life of me what to do with it  [40] do you have a crush on someone: nahhh  [41] what do you like about yourself? shit man uhm... honestly rn i’m in no place to answer this  [42] piercings: ears, lip, gonna get my nose re-done soon. and then also add an eyebrow one  [43] blood type: o?? i think??  [44] nickname: amess, satan, aim, etc  [45] relationship status: in a relationship, old fucking married couple  [46] zodiac sign: scorpio  [47] pronouns: she/her mostly  [48] fav tv show: it changes too often tbh like. since i finally started to continue watching supernatural, i’m on that hype rn  [49] tattoos: i’ll afford the ones i want eventually  [50] right or left handed: right 

FIRST…

[51] surgery: pretty sure my first one was the first face operation i had when i was a kid to remove the lump in my cheek  [52] piercing: ears  [53] best friend: samantha, jack & emily  [55] vacation: dude i can’t fucking remember the first  [56] pair of sneakers: i HAVE NO IDEA. but okay the first important pair of shoes... my first pair of converses: they were white with like, i think the blue and red lines??? idk man they were my fucking loves and they stayed white as hell foreeveerrrr 

RIGHT NOW…

[57] eating: nothing, but i’m hungry af  [58] drinking: nothing but as before, i am thirst af eeyyy  [59] i’m about to: prolly order food  [60] listening to: still the sound of my typing tbh  [61] waiting for: life to get better  [62] want: financial stability. stability in general just. ugh.  [63] get married: honestly idk jack and i have spoken it could be nice but?? we’re not like?? idk we’re both very well in tune bc neither of us want kids/settling down etc so??? idk maybe we’de spontaneously get married in some other country while travelling one day.  [64] career: i don’t fucking have one yet, i just work but it’s not a career 

WHICH IS BETTER…

[65] hugs or kisses: depends on the mood and the person but mostly i just really like hugs okay  [66] lips or eyes: eyes  [67] shorter or taller: idk man i don’t care  [68] older or younger: uhm??? dude again idek  [69] romantic or spontaneous: yawn idc either way just be decent  [70] nice arms or nice stomach: arms are nice??? stomachs are cool?? i just?? dude i don’t give a fuck just give me a decent human being honestly.  [71] sensitive or loud: listen i just. *drops jack down in front of this* this one will do [72] hookup or relationship: gdi i’m in a relationship so  [73] troublemaker or hesitant: omfg this is so cringe 

HAVE YOU EVER…

[74] kissed a stranger? yeeaahh  [75] drank hard liquor? yeepp  [76] lost glasses/contact lenses? nahh but i’ve broken my glasses before  [77] turned someone down? omfg i’m gonna die from the cringe of even remembering it but it popped right into my head: the time a friend from college offered to have sex with me ‘just as friends’ bc i hadn’t done it yet and goddamn i couldn’t have noped out any harder. mostly bc listen. in college? i honestly thought i was gay af  [78] sex on first date? mentioned before that i’ve never really gone on dates so?? but i’ve like, done the whole ‘texting/talking then meet just to hook up’ thing so???  [79] broken someone’s heart? i know i did tbh. and the hilarious thing is on both occasions they were the toxic fucking assholes. but ehh.  [80] had your own heart broken? in every way imaginable.  [81] been arrested? nahhh  [82] cried when someone died? yep  [83] fallen for a friend? *dramatically rolls eyes* i fucking have bc i was a twat omfg 

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

[84] yourself? *cries laughing*  [85] miracles? honestly watching cancer suck the life from your mum kinda ruins any belief in miracles or any of that shit.  [86] love at first sight? no bloody way  [87] santa claus? ahahah no  [88] kiss on the first date? i believe in the ‘you do you’ way of thinking like honestly people should be able to do whatever they fuckin’ want  [89] angels? nopers 

OTHER…

[90] current best friend’s name: samantha, jack, emily  [91] eye color: green  [92] favorite movie: fuck man this changes too often okay idk but lets go with my default: peter pan bc of the personal importance 

#aмιe pυт down тнe ιpнone ( misc mun shit. ) #тнιѕ place ιѕ ғancy and ι don'т ĸnow wнιcн ғorĸ тo ĸιll мyѕelғ wιтн ( ooc. )

[sevens-mind]

it is not a coincidence that i felt relief today when i read the bible and ACTUALLY understood it, i mean like IT MADE SENSE, like it was SPEAKING TO ME. it was insane like i am still shook. and then i prayed and it was beautiful and relieving, because i put all my worries in Gods hands, i put myself in his hands because i dont know what i want in life- there’s nothing i could pray for for myself i only prayed for those in my life whom i love and well the world during this craziness. i just said i trusted in his will- and that he can take my life and make what he wants of it because i want his will, not mine. and i was outside and the SKY was my favorite sky it’s cloudy and perfect and beautiful and my backyard is so green and the hammock was so comfortable and colorful. and there was a fly bothering me but that doesnt matter i just thought itd be funny to put into this hehe. but yeah. i dont think what just happened is a coincidence. i am speechless in the glory of God. Matthew Chapter 5 is what i read and it opened my eyes into what i need to do in life. so yeah. this is a turning point. when i said a new chapter started today i didnt think it would be this. i thought itd be getting job, lying to people for the sake of them not me, going to church and trying to feel a connection to God but probably failing, and therapy. bUt no? what is happening. idk but im EXHAUSTED and so whufhshvk God literally spoke to me and HUGGED ME. like i prayed for a hug from him earlier today. and he did. ive also been listening to christian music all day hahaha and crying while singing along but at some point i started playing the piano and singing and it was very um?? strong? idk anyways i have to go to therapy it’s really confusing ngl bc today i learned that everyones a liar and that i get to choose what i believe and idk it was uh?? idk but i hope tomorrow i learn something positive and helpful hahahaha awwh i miss php.. and neeko :( anyways i did learn something today. NEVER GIVE UP ON GOD. PUT YOUR WORRIES IN HIS HANDS COMPLETELY. DONT ASK FOR YOUR WILL, ASK FOR HIS. ASK FOR HIM TO GIVE YOU UNDERSTANDING AND THIRST FOR HIS WORD. ASK FOR LOVE AND LIGHT THAT YOU CAN SPREAD TO OTHERS. God knows your hearts desires and he will meet all your true needs, but you ALWAYS have to put him first. to never let go. this is so long wow. anyways im glad i didnt go to sleep instantly and decided to go outside and LITERALLY just open to a random page and move my finger around with my eyes closed and then read whatever chapter it lands on. some people say religion is a coping mechanism. but i know he’s real. and i intend to spread love and kindess and his light everywhere. (not like shove religion in people’s faces lmao, but like just try to be more like God in day to day life.) okay now goodnight, just had to go on a schpeel of what i just experienced tehe

#sevensmind

[slumbrslumbrs]

Slumber’s 2017 Writing Round-Up

source: https://trey.dreamwidth.org/584.html 1. Total year-long word count: 56623 (+ 23700 in WIPs, so about 80k \o/)

2. Word count by fandom: Just give it all to BNHA lbr, though I did one Harry Potter fic too

3. Fics completed: 12, plus a bunch of drabbles

4. Works-in-progress: 3, 2 of which I've been avoiding for a month >.>

5. This year I wrote and posted: A LOT-- most of them here

6. Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you'd predicted? Way, way more. I wasn't planning on writing this year at all-- I'd reached a point in my fandom life where I was pretty set on engaging in canon content primarily, and maybe reading a couple fics here and there. I'd written one thing last year, but hadn't really written since 2013. Then BNHA happened. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

7. What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January? Uh. I got into a new fandom in the summer, and it's been my main one since, so I definitely did not predict any of that... OH. I wrote a soulmate AU. That was... not super expected, because I really kind of don’t like them in general, but uh... considering I wrote it to subvert the things I didn’t like about it, not at all that unsurprising. 

8. What's your own favorite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest? 

It's a toss up.

"show me how to" was one of the easiest things I've ever written, the story as born from the discussion on the kink meme came so fast to me I was compelled to start writing it during my lunch break, lol. And it was written in a day, which means I have no memories of it truly tormenting me. >.> I just had so much fun writing it-- it was silly and a little out there, but I have good memories of it. :3

I also really liked "and my heart went boom", because this was maybe the least pretentious, most self-indulgent thing I'd ever given in to writing. Plus I'd had the idea for a mechanic AU for years, from a different fandom no less, so I was glad I finally got it out of me. (I just like writing disaster queers and their awkward crushes. :3)

9. Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them? Haha, yes, I owned up to the #problematic smut I wrote for the kink meme and posted them to my AO3 account. I debated using a throwaway account for it but at the end of the day, I wanted to be honest about the topics I'd been interested in exploring, even if only for a few words. (I AM A PEOPLE PLEASER IT WAS DIFFICULT TO DO OKAY I'M TRYING TO GIVE FEWER FUCKS.)

10. Your best story of this year: I'm not sure what decides this… I kind of feel like even though I've been pretty happy with most of the stuff I've written, there's always something I wanted to do better/improve every time I reread them? I guess forced to pick, I'd go with "like you're running out of time, like you need it to survive" -- feels a little weird to say the first thing I'd written this year is the best (shouldn't I be improving? >.>) but I think this was also the biggest, most compelling story I'd had to write? Like, most of the things I wanted to say about Kiribaku are in this fic, and it's the most closely aligned to canon (minus that hospital scene >.>) which IDK, feels like it counts for something.

11. Your most popular story of this year: I guess going by kudos/hit count it's "the world you keep erasing", but I feel like I've heard the most good things for "domestic life was never quite my style" (it has more comment threads and bookmarks)?

12. Story of yours most under-appreciated by the universe, in your opinion: Uhhhh I'm a rare pair writer, so I feel like those are underappreciated. XD But I guess of my rare pair fics I wish more people tried "diametrically opposed" (which is Rappa/Fatgum FRAPPA) and "wonders great and small" (which is Tetsudenki).

13. Most fun story to write: Oh. >.> "show me how to" for sure. I also really enjoyed writing "wonders great and small", mostly because the ending was super clear to me from the beginning and I was so motivated to get there.

14. Story with the single sexiest moment: Hahaha nothing no story I don't write sexy. >.>

15. Most "Holy crap, that's wrong, even for you" story: OH yeah I put up a bunch, they're in "hate the sin", which is a collection of 1-sentence fills for the kink meme that specifically had some, uh, questionable pairs. Sorry. >.>

16. Story that shifted your own perceptions of the characters: "show me how to" -- I hadn't really shipped Erasermic prior to this, and I actually wasn't planning to write this as Erasermic when it started. But Mic was a disaster and the casual pining slipped in, and oops now I love them.

17. Hardest story to write: "the world you keep erasing" -- I think every part of this story was a struggle to put down.

18. Biggest disappointment: I don't really know that there is one. This year I've written primarily for myself, and honestly more the reverse, I've been incredibly surprised and taken aback by the response I've gotten? Even with rare pairs, which I pretty much expect to get very little attention, get some really great feedback.

19. Biggest surprise: "and my heart went boom" -- this is like. Pure self-indulgence, I didn't expect this to get the feedback it did bc it was just. Thirsting. And not smutty. And not particularly emotional or ~deep~.  

20. Most unintentionally telling story: I don't know if it was unintentional, but I pulled a lot of my own experiences (with failures/setbacks) for "like you're running out of time, like you need it to survive".

ALSO in general nearly every fic I wrote was a love letter to Kirishima, so uhhhhh it’s very telling in that way. >.>

21. Favorite opening line(s):

Katsuki doesn't remember a world without color. (from "the world you keep erasing")

The last thing Shouto expects to be doing on a Tuesday morning is to get caught in a screaming match with a guy from Support. (from "fan this spark into a flame")

22. Favorite closing line(s): I'm less happy with my closing lines, uhhhh, so maybe The knighting business is beginning to look up. (from "wonders great and small")

23. Favorite 5 line(s) from anywhere:

And Katsuki thinks: Kirishima would have taken anyone's hand. - like you're running out of time, like you need it to survive

What Kirishima does is this: a week after saving his soulmate from a flying car, he asks her out for coffee. - the world you keep erasing

When he's deep in thought, it strips the shine and varnish away to reveal the sturdy, honest core lying beneath. - soldier boys, tripping over themselves

It strikes Yamada then, the irony of it all, Yamada receiving the best orgasm of his life from the combined efforts of a virgin and an asexual. - show me how to

That's not the right butt. - and my heart went boom (<.<)

24. Top 5 scenes from anywhere you would choose to have illustrated:

Not quite a scene, but mechanic!Kirishima and Bakugou's very obvious thirst, please. XD (and my heart went boom)

Bakugou and the Class A girls making chocolate. (domestic life was never quite my style)

Kaminari, Tetsutetsu, and a campfire kiss. (wonders great and small)

Any of the scenes where Frappa are eating, to be honest. (diametrically opposed)

Midoriya with a flamethrower against the ice monsters. (fan this spark into a flame)

25. Fic-writing goals for next year: I would like to finish the multi-chapter WIP I've been working on since November (I'm, uh, gonna have to re-write majority of it, oops). That's really the big one. The rest is just to continue having fun, remembering to write for myself, and being okay with taking writing breaks.

#personal #my fic #mine #text

[investnlord]

The Waiting Room 2

Hardcastle: ***

Hardcastle: You sit at

Hardcastle: the table

Hardcastle: on your stool

Hardcastle: the light hangs overhead dimly lighting this unexceptional room

Hardcastle: shelves of mail

Hardcastle: you drum your feet against the center island counter where more mail is piled

Hardcastle: what's your favorite color?*

Bourbon: brown

Bourbon: *

Hardcastle: The mail flutters out of chutes and into bins

Hardcastle: those by the door

Hardcastle: the mail always flows

Hardcastle: day and night

Hardcastle: you either hate this job or you love it

Hardcastle: it's a strong emotion

Hardcastle: There's a packet in front of you

Hardcastle: it has YOUR name on it

Hardcastle: It's sealed, but from the shape and weight you guess it's some kind of invitation*

Bourbon: i

Bourbon: have this job

Bourbon: i've never gotten mail before

Bourbon: well

Bourbon: not here

Bourbon: i break my concentration and listen to the churning hum around me

Bourbon: pick up my mail and let the rest of the mail just

Bourbon: go wherever

Bourbon: i open my letter*

Bourbon: (https://dekanta.com/store/yamazaki-25-years-old/)

Bourbon: (very trashy to be so expensive)

Hardcastle: It's the highest-grade of stationary

Hardcastle: you know because you exclusively work with mail

Hardcastle: or so we'd like to think

Hardcastle: On it in gold ink script-

Hardcastle: "Find a man who has done you no wrong and slay him and receive a revelation"

Hardcastle: There is no name signed*

Bourbon: hmm

Bourbon: examine the envelope

Bourbon: does it have a postmark or a return address*

Hardcastle: No

Hardcastle: it appears to have been

Hardcastle: Hand delivered

Hardcastle: You have

Hardcastle: Tucked in button down shirt

Hardcastle: pants

Hardcastle: good working shoes with arch support

Hardcastle: a northface jacket

Hardcastle: cell phone, wallet, watch

Hardcastle: Flask of Japanese Whiskey

Hardcastle: Pocket knife

Hardcastle: matches, bic lighter, cigarettes

Hardcastle: *

Bourbon: oh i'm kind of an old fashioned m'dude

Bourbon: that's alright

Bourbon: sounds good

Bourbon: ok well hmm

Bourbon: i write on a piece of paper

Bourbon: WENT TO LUNCH THANKS

Bourbon: and put it on the door

Bourbon: leave the mailroom*

Hardcastle: You exit and find you are in the hallway of a hospital ward

Hardcastle: There are gurneys and IV towers scattered about

Hardcastle: It's almost too cluttered, like the wing has been closed for storage

Hardcastle: you hear far off sounds of traffic

Hardcastle: but in here you feel you are alone

Hardcastle: down the hall is a set of double doors which must lead out

Hardcastle: and there are multiple patient rooms here which are not sealed*

Bourbon: who left them

Bourbon: unsealed

Bourbon: shouldn't they be

Bourbon: idk i just do the mail thing

Bourbon: assess the patient rooms

Bourbon: are they numbered

Bourbon: are there names

Bourbon: is there an

Bourbon: order

Bourbon: *

Hardcastle: No it's all pretty disheveled

Hardcastle: Big old dialysis machine wrapped in a plastic sheet

Hardcastle: dusty clipboards set on tarps covering gurneys

Hardcastle: no one has been back here for months

Hardcastle: You poke your head into a patient room

Hardcastle: the hair on the nape of your neck stands as you realize you aren't alone

Hardcastle: something shuffles erratically and a box of tongue depressors hits the floor making a scattered racket*

Bourbon: look at the tongue depressors

Bourbon: why did they fall

Bourbon: assess patient*

Hardcastle: You step into the room where you can see a bit better

Hardcastle: your foot crunches some of the wood sticks which fell

Hardcastle: A terrified young man in scrubs is in a feeble defensive posture

Hardcastle: hand outstretched

Hardcastle: as he tries to burrow further into the corner

Hardcastle: a pipe lays abandoned on the floor with the smoke still wafting from it's bowl

Hardcastle: his eyes are as red a the devil's dick and he's making terrified chittering noises

Hardcastle: he is wearing brown scrubs

Hardcastle: which, if the brown is anything to go by, means he is of some kind of orderly staff*

Bourbon: i close the door and walk over to him

Bourbon: crouch down

Bourbon: swallow him up

Bourbon: i stab him with the pocket knife

Bourbon: over and over again

Bourbon: *

Hardcastle: Oh my god

Hardcastle: The stone orderly is incapacitated

Hardcastle: blood is spilling over his tunic and your shoes

Hardcastle: he makes gurgling sounds

Hardcastle: not dead but messed up

Hardcastle: what's the plan here?*

Bourbon: ok well actually kill him

Bourbon: jeez*

Hardcastle: You play the waiting game as his throat wound continues to gush less as less blood

Hardcastle: eventually he subsides with a little gasp and your skin feels the chill of a nearby passing

Hardcastle: You have committed a murder!

Hardcastle: -10 Good Boy Points

Hardcastle: What do you do?*

Bourbon: ok go back to the mailroom for my revelation*

Hardcastle: You open the door to go out but you just see the wall where you came out

Hardcastle: There is a graffiti on the wall of a dragon spitting flames

Hardcastle: and a yellow wizard with his pants down!

Hardcastle: he's even got a little pecker!

Hardcastle: There's no door here idiot

Hardcastle: you think revelations are just put out that easy

Hardcastle: he's a fucking drone!

Hardcastle: Get us a good prize*

Bourbon: damn dude shit

Bourbon: who would have expected this

Bourbon: from a mailroom

Bourbon: ok uh

Bourbon: ok

Bourbon: ok

Bourbon: gotta start doing damage control

Bourbon: hit up another patient's room*

Hardcastle: You pop from room to room

Hardcastle: the blood thirst unquenched

Hardcastle: and the thirst is real bad

Hardcastle: You find more beds

Hardcastle: equipment

Hardcastle: no victims

Hardcastle: not even primo meds

Hardcastle: the only substance besides your tobacco is whatever unholy shit is in that kid's pipe

Hardcastle: maybe he had some shit on him

Hardcastle: I don't know

Hardcastle: I'm not in the habit of handing out hints

Hardcastle: You hear the intercom blurgergurgle on the other side of the double doors

Hardcastle: you know there are probably people there

Hardcastle: working away to save lives

Hardcastle: while you're back here taking them like some deranged ghost

Hardcastle: You make a sweep and determine the only kit you can add will come from homeboy deadguy over here*

Bourbon: (sorry dude making a midnight snack)

Groy: (well hurry up)

Bourbon: no no no no

Bourbon: i'm not

Bourbon: that one

Bourbon: assess the patient in here

Bourbon: *

Hardcastle: Explain though

Hardcastle: Do you mean the guy you just fucked up?

Hardcastle: Just you and him in this abandoned ward*

Bourbon: i mean

Bourbon: the one in this new room*

Bourbon: (if you were also drinking whiskey)

Bourbon: (this would all come together)

Hardcastle: Aight okay you're in shock

Hardcastle: It's probably the adrenaline

Hardcastle: from the murder

Hardcastle: you are in a wing with 10 rooms

Hardcastle: all of them are stuffed with storage

Hardcastle: there are no patients here

Hardcastle: but on the other side of that door

Hardcastle: it's a hospital

Hardcastle: with people dying and being reborn every minute

Hardcastle: shit man

Hardcastle: you're in the right place

Hardcastle: what a holy place

Hardcastle: you just gotta be ready

Hardcastle: to walk through that door*

Bourbon: (ok got my snack)

Bourbon: ok i just need

Bourbon: to

Bourbon: how bloody am i*

Bourbon: (do you ever make asian noodles and it's like)

Bourbon: (should have put peanut butter in there)

Hardcastle: (oh dude yeah)

Hardcastle: Blood on your shoes

Hardcastle: a little splatter on the rest of you

Hardcastle: from the stabbing

Hardcastle: *

Bourbon: ok i undress this patient

Bourbon: and put his clothes on*

Hardcastle: You don the orderly's brown scrubs

Hardcastle: his ID badge does not match your appearance but

Hardcastle: who really looks

Hardcastle: Jacob MacIntosh

Hardcastle: not that it matters

Hardcastle: just thought you should know

Hardcastle: You pick up his pipe too for good measure

Hardcastle: You now look like a very bloody, disheveled orderly at this hospital*

Bourbon: uh huh

Bourbon: ok uh

Bourbon: ok

Bourbon: do i still have my letter from before

Bourbon: the one about

Bourbon: revelation*

Hardcastle: Totally!*

Bourbon: ok good

Bourbon: good good good

Bourbon: ok leave the hospital

Bourbon: find me a tree

Bourbon: out of sight*

Hardcastle: Okay

Hardcastle: You look out the window and see you are on

Hardcastle: the first floor

Hardcastle: you open a window and you are outside

Hardcastle: You sprint across the parking lot

Hardcastle: no one notices

Hardcastle: shit

Hardcastle: no one is paying attention at all with their phones and ipads

Hardcastle: anyway there's a tree beside the parking lot

Hardcastle: next to a nice fence

Hardcastle: you sit behind it

Hardcastle: now you're bloody and sweaty

Hardcastle: which is confusing because it's like 50 degrees outside*

Bourbon: good

Bourbon: hey tree

Bourbon: alright

Bourbon: mop the sweat off my face with my hands

Bourbon: collect myself

Bourbon: center

Bourbon: my chi*

Hardcastle: You breathe

Hardcastle: in through your nose out through your mouth

Hardcastle: you are

Hardcastle: centered*

Bourbon: and

Bourbon: ok

Bourbon: get the revelation*

Hardcastle: (Bourbon there is a shirt called the night manager and it has sophie from peep show as an mi6 spy)

Hardcastle: Nothing

Hardcastle: No revelation comes

Hardcastle: Maybe a true innocent is needed

Hardcastle: not just to you but

Hardcastle: to everyone

Hardcastle: an innocent soul*

Bourbon: (god yes)

Bourbon: hmm

Bourbon: i'm no innocent

Bourbon: i can't just

Bourbon: kill myself

Bourbon: i crush a bug

Bourbon: crush it into paste*

Hardcastle: Haha

Hardcastle: Dude come on

Hardcastle: Suddenly a modest Volvo whips into the ER loading/unloading nearby

Bourbon: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iy2DgCym6Uw)

Hardcastle: you hear tires screech and wailing

Hardcastle: A man in a yarmulke leaps from his car and calls for help

Hardcastle: two smoking CNA's stroll out and waddle the jew's wife into a wheelchair

Hardcastle: they usher both of them inside and the automatic doors

Hardcastle: thump

Hardcastle: closed

Hardcastle: then reopen as the man comes back out and pulls into a parking spot nearby

Hardcastle: he bolts back to the waiting room you suppose*

Bourbon: man

Bourbon: ok

Bourbon: alright

Bourbon: i hop in his car

Bourbon: *

Hardcastle: You approach the car, now as abandoned as the man you murdered

Hardcastle: you check in the back seat and see an overnight bag and some magazines

Hardcastle: you brick the window and slide in passenger rear

Hardcastle: dusting the glass out of the seats you make a move to be low in the back*

Bourbon: (Hardcastle i gotta go to bed

Bourbon: (i just gotta)

Hardcastle: Oh man

Hardcastle: (Oh man)

Hardcastle: okay

Hardcastle: call it

Hardcastle: ***

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