#If vanitas wasn’t putting up a front all the time I could see them working but bc he’s the way he is it doesn’t

[vnckocurzyca]

New chapter new analysis

I’m publishing it one more time because it didnt show in tags for some reason???

I put it under “read more” so maybe now.

I finally read translation so I can finally write something about the new chapter. I know people’s strong feelings towards it and I think it’s totally understandable huh

I, personally, liked this chapter even if I think it was creepy as fuck. But I know Jun’s work and how she writes her stories and I know that she purposely made it really uncomfortable. I think this chapter was made to be upsetting because what happened during it was kinda important?

Warning; LONG POST (contains spoilers to new chapter)

First thing - Noe was forced to see some Vanitas’s memories. Of course by Misha eyes, but still it’s Vanis past. And as we know already, Vanitas REALLY didn’t want Noe to know about anything his past-related. He even threated him that he would kill you if Noe would someday try to drink his blood. So it’s opening for totally new conflict. We have two options

Vanitas would come to place and see Noe drinking Mishas blood and it would be horrible

Vanitas wouldn’t see it and Noe would live in sting of remorse and we know how emotional Noe is and it would be also horrible. And this option also has 2 options

Noe would finally tell Vani that he drank Mishas blood and it would be horrible

Misha would tell Vanitas that Noe drank his blood and it also would be horrible

When Noe started drinking Mishas blood he walked into a trap and there is no escape now. Vanitas is going to KNOW this and its going to be a problem, because knowing Vanis past, memories and emotions was a borderline in their relationship - Noe didn’t get a permission to step over it. And now he just... steped, because of Mishas blackmail.

Also the whole scene was made to be creepy - we can clearly see that Noe is distraught and scared and uncomfortable. We can hear his thoughts, we can see his terrified face

He is terrified for A LOT of reasons. A lot.

He is scared of Domis life. He don’t know what is going on with her and she is unconscious and she can literally DIE. Domi is his best friend, his childhood friend and nearly all family he has left. Domi is the closest person to him and he can’t just lose her like he lost Louis.

He DON’T WANT to read Vanitas’s past without his permission and knowledge. Its awful, it’s non consensual and non-con it’s something Noe hates, because, even if he would like to know Vani’s past (what he said back before Gevaudan arc) he don’t want to know it without Vanis consenst and he didn’t push. And now he is forced to see them, to betray Vani’s trust.He, probably, hates himself thanks to it.

He is blackmailed, bullied and intimidated which is bad on it’s own. He has absolutely NO CONTROL over a situation, he is absolutely subordinated and can’t do anything to change his situation. It’s scary.

He is forced to drink blood, which is a really intimate and delicate activity for him. He hates being forced to drink blood and forcing to drink blood, and, additionaly, Misha is a kid. Or, at least, he look like a kid (it’s hard to say his age for sure and how many years their past with Moreau happened). It’s gross, creepy and weird and Noe feels it. We can see him backing away from a fucking kid.

Jun did it purposely. Combine all of it, to made the horror moment for him, probably to break him in front o Misha.

The running thing in Vanitas no Carte is motif of Noe not having any control over anything in his life (even without his noticing). Noe never had a control over anything.

He didn’t have a control over his life during childhood, ie when he was sold on auction

He didn’t have any control over Louis’s death and curse. He couldn’t do anything to save him or to save other kids back then. He could do nothing.

He don’t have any control in general - he was trained by the Teacher to be his pupil. Noe don’t even know how big control Grandpa de Sade has over him and his doings.

He didn’t have any control when Domi found him at Orloks. She just kidnapped him to Altus.

He don’t have any control over his relationship with Jeanne - anytime he wants to talk to her or about her he is interuptted.

He didn’t want his blood be sucked by Ruthven and he didn’t want to Swear.

He don’t have any control now. He didn’t wanted to know Vanis past non consensualy, he didn’t wanted to drink Mishad blood, he don’t want to see Domi in this situation.

It’s a writing continuity. We are being told how little control Noe has over his (and others) life. It’s becaming a plot point. MochiJun knows what she is doing. She purposely made the whole chapter creepy and unsettling. She need us to know that what is happening right now is wrong - not only drinking blood from a 1/4 naked kid, but also the rest. Everything. That this chapter is traumatic - we literally touched Noes trauma, Domis trauma and Mishas trauma over a few pages and panels:

Dominique - we can see how she reacted to Louis death, how she wanted to make Noe feels better, why she changed her hairstyle and outfit, how she hated herself because it was her brother who died, not her. We can see it now - she is depressed, she hatees herself and would prefer to die over Louis. She was easy to catch for Misha.

Noe - we can see that he can do anything for Domi because she is his last friend, his family, last thing (person) he has. He can’t lose her, he is desperate and traumatized over Louis death so he can do anything, even suck Mishas blood and know Vanis past even if he hates it and its wrong for him.

Misha - we can see thanks to his flashbacks that it was hinted he was (if I undertand english correctly, sorry, it’s not my first language) se*//ually abused as a child. He thought his mother was possesed by devil, it was traumatizing on it’s own, but he was also dressed as a girl, physically abused and hit by his mother and used during her “sessions” with clients. Then he was kidnapped by Moreau who, probably, was experimenting on him just like on Vanitas - so Misha was abused again. And later Vanitas killed “father” what also traumatized him. His behaviour towards Noe it’s not really that suprising - its horrible and sad and heartbreaking knowing why Misha is that way, but its logical. It has sense. It’s just how his trauma made him.

Sooo do I think what happened in the chapter was good or okay? No. It was creepy and made me feel sick. But do I think Jun is bad for making it this way? No. I think her work is great, because she actually did planned it logically. She delivered TONS OF INFORMATIONS by only one chapter. Tons, about a lot of characters - Misha, Vanitas, Noe, Dominique, even Roland (he know Misha is one thing, but, also, why he was so beaten up? What happened my man? Who hurted you?) It wasn’t just gross pedo-fanservice some people accused it to be. (even if it was gross anyway och my gos this scene with Misha standing over Noe was frightening, I was just as scared as Noe, I felt like I was in his place and I was looking at Misha)

Also! I’m pretty sure one of the reason for Misha undressing his collar a little bit was for us (and maybe Noe too) to see his possesion mark on his arm. For some reason we, as an audience, need to know this.

But! We also get a lot of different informations -

Domi is a royal guard and is working in castle, so she probably knew Luca before and had contact with him or some other royal people. i think it’s interesting that she worked at castleas a royal guard.

Luca probably likes Domi and was worried about her. Also after knowing she is missing he decided to took direct actions, he is not passive.

Misha has Vanitas of the Blue Moon’s possesion mark on his hand. It’s really interesting, especially when we know that its his prosthetic arm. Somebody tried to cut his arm with a possesion mark and I bet it was Vanitas or Misha himself. Yet it DIDN’T work, mark of possesion is still here, above his prosthetic.

Noe “don’t know anything about Vanitas”. It was an important sentence. It was something that Noe need to know narratively speaking. It’s pushing the story forward, because Noe’s and Vani’s relationship is the core of the story. It was literally told in the first chapter that it’s a story about their journey.

Misha had a lot of bruises on his whole body after he was rescued. We knew he was beaten, but we could also see it’s evidence.

Mishas face when Noe drank his blood was similar to his mother face when a vampire drank his blood. It wasn’t accidental, we were shown his trauma and how it’s affected him.

Next thing I noticed:

In this panel, Misha looks A LOT like Vanitas. Og course he has child features and chubbier face, he has white(?) hair and eyelashes ets, but his mimic, his gaze, how one of his eyes is covered by hair and his words. Its literally how Vanitas’s panel would be draw. It’s really Vanitaish.

We also got some questions, like:

What happened to Misha and how he lost his hand?

What Luca ordered Jeanne? (probably to check out real Paris and maybe find Domi or Noe)

Why Mishas mark of possesions was so important for us to know?

Is that Roland met Misha in the past important?

Why was Roland so beaten up?

There was also one more thing. Jun is operating in her story not only by making parallels betweend her characters (ie Teacher and VotBM, or Astolfo nad Vanitas, or Louis and Domi etc) but also contrasts. The biggest contrast motif on the story are probably Vanitas and Noe thanks to not only their history, but also their appearance, personality, design of their clothes, their height, their names (Vanitas being related to death and vanity, Noe being related to saving and something biblical etc). Their whole characters are made constrast. And so we got here:

Vanitas and Misha are not made parallels, theyre made contrast.

Misha is looking from the upside, Vanitas is looking from the above, Mishas hair is white, Vanitas hair is black, Vani has a shadow over his face, misha is lighted. Misha has white eyelashes, Vani has black. Misha looks calm an suprised, Vani looks stressed. Their whole “atmosphere” is different. Even if Misha is bruised in this panel he looks clean, even angelic, when Vanitas looks... bad, he has dark circles under eyes, wrinkled eyebrows, bandage etc. They’re made to contrast themselves, not to be compared to. It’s the next hint about their role in the story I suppose. That they’re not similar, they’re not the same and there is something basically different about their roles.

I would also like to write about shadow and light work in this chapter, but I’m just really tired right now, soo here it is! My analyze od the new chapter, or, at least, the most important parts of it (for me). I liked it in general, but it was... stressed and I was anxious about this chapter for the one whole day. But in general I think Jun did gods work with delivering informations she wanted to delivere.

#the case study of vanitas #vanitas no carte #vanitas no shuki #long post #vanitas #misha #dominique de sade #noe archiviste

[aealzx]

I’m going to put this one under the cut juuuust in case |D There’s a bit of mention of gorey stuff, and things that might be uncomfortable to some about Vanitas’ time with Xehanort and scientists.

I just realized when I was going through pics that I haven’t drawn Vanitas in awhile. So I wanted to draw him again, and ended up focusing on one of his therapy sessions, if they could be called that. |D I dunno anything about proper therapy, could never fine any psychiatrists that weren’t just “how did that make you feel?” or laughed at me.

“What would YOU know of my life Valentine? Did you live through it? You’ve spoken to me for four years already, but what does it matter? How can you hope to sympathize with something you’ve never experienced? Is this fun for you? To pick me apart with words much like those men cut my arms to see if I still bleed like a human.”

The sessions were starting to go downhill again. It was a struggle each time, for Vincent could never figure out what triggered them. Lacing his fingers in front of him, Vincent just watched Vanitas shout at him, refusing to make any sudden movements that might startle the boy and giving some time for him to calm down a little. “I’m aware of some of what happened to you and Ventus, Vanitas. But my goal here is not to try to empathize with you. It’s to help you come to terms with something affecting you in ways you refuse to admit. I hold no joy in your distress.”

“HA!” Vanitas barked, shifting into one of his moods where he preferred to laugh rather than shrink away. “Hahahaha, you pretend this is for my sake, as if I don’t know it’s all for you. You who had the tragic son you wish you could save. An abomination that murdered some poor bloke’s mother, I’ve heard all about it. You think by helping me you can save him? It doesn’t work that way. I have to be someone worthy of saving in the first place.”

“You don’t think you’re worthy?” Vincent asked, expertly keeping his voice level despite the prodding from Vanitas about his own past.

“Pff, don’t care. I’m not looking for some dumb redemption change or whatever,” Vanitas answered, making quotes in the air with his fingers in mocking. “I’m happy the way I am. Don’t want to deal with your light bullsh-.”

“You’re happy being here in a mental ward, without freedom to do as you please? Happy to be unable to sleep at night because of nightmares? Not being able to see the brother you cherish so dee-”

“And having some person here constantly badgering me about stuff that doesn’t matter?” Vanitas interrupted. “It’s not much different, actually. The only difference is that the cage doesn’t have bars, but a wooden door and walls. And the doctors don’t stab with knives, but with their words instead. You’re not so different, Doctor. Just because blood doesn’t actually run down your hands like the others.”

This time Vincent remained quiet, just watching Vanitas over his own fingers as the boy sagged down to lean back on the plush chair again. He watched Vincent carefully for a moment, before giving him a slight smirk.

“You know, there was this one kid there. Cut open his chest just to watch his heart beat. Dm dm. Dm dm,” Vanitas explained, placing his hands on his chest and pulling out slightly, then flaring them in rhythm to a heartbeat. “Just bleed on the floor, they didn’t care. Maybe they could see what was wrong just by looking with their eyes. ‘Course it didn’t work. Had to stitch him back up, and I dunno what happened after that. Not like I cared. The ones that cried and whined for mommy and daddy got the beatings. But if you gave the beatings instead.... They liked the fighters. Sometimes they’d let me out, if I beat up the other kids for them. Keep them in line.”

“.....It’s common for people to do terrible things in the mind of self preservation. You felt threatened, so you performed actions that would keep your captors from harming you. The fault lies with them.”

“Even for the girl I chose to shoot on my own?” Vanitas asked, a smile splitting his face when Vincent’s fingers twitched. “You know, we actually got out once. Some do gooder hero broke us out of the cells. But then there were the bodyguards behind us, chasing the little girl with pigtails as she ran with Ventus. She wasn’t going to get anywhere like that, dragging his half functioning body around. So when they caught up to us I took their gun… and I shot her, for being so stupid. That should have taught her a lesson for ruining everything I built up. Her and the other guy. Can’t say I know what happened to them, for they took us back soon enough.”

Vincent had to keep himself from reacting too much to the new revelation. He already knew that Vanitas had helped beat the other kids, but this was the first time he’d ever heard of them having a failed rescue attempt. And Vanitas claimed he’d shot a little girl? Had it been a dream, or had it actually happened? “Why would you hinder their attempt to help you?”

“Why would you ask me that, Doctor? I thought that was your job to figure out,” Vanitas responded, jaw resting on his fist. “And I think you’ll have plenty of time for that. I’m sure our session is over now.”

“I can extend it if necessary,” Vincent countered, not liking how Vanitas was avoiding the question. It was just a guess at this point, but Vincent was sure that Vanitas avoided content that made him feel like there was something more behind his actions than senseless violence.

“Don’t make me call the nurses in here,” Vanitas threatened, eyes narrowing. “I’m sure I could use the nap. Apparently I don’t sleep well after all.”

Vincent tensed, but inevitably let out a sigh in relent. He’d rather not have Vanitas attack him for the countless time just to have nurses rush in to sedate him. “Very well, Vanitas. We’ll pick this up next week. As usual.”

#my art #kingdom hearts #khau #htau #hreat transplant au #vanitas #angry boy #mention of gore #I guess #nothing detailed

[bemused-writer]

VNC Chapter 46 Analysis

Mochizuki's ability to pack so much into a singular chapter is truly a gift. In this chapter we get a lot of Dominique's POV, which was awesome, but pretty dreary. However, I don't think any of us can blame her; she once told Noé she worried about him blaming himself for what happened to Louis, but she never mentioned how much she is still bearing a great burden from the very same incident.

There's a lot to unpack in this sentence alone, but it reveals a lot about Dominique's mindset. In past chapters, we've already seen that she harbors a great deal of self-doubt; she isn't living up to her family's expectations and she's convinced the man she loves would prefer a different kind of woman, i.e. someone more like Jeanne. However, we see here that her self-doubt is actually better characterized as self-loathing. She doesn't consider herself suitable for Noé whatsoever. So, what is it that she thinks Louis has that she doesn't? She's gone to a lot of trouble to imitate him, after all. I think we can break her perceived failings into the following: 1) She can't be with Noé 24/7. I think a large part of why she thinks Louis would have been a better partner for Noé than herself is because they already lived together. He could have traveled with Noé to Paris, lived with him there, helped him handle Vanitas, Murr, and even Teacher. Basically, she assumes Louis would be ever present at Noé's side in a way she cannot. 2) An outgoing nature/ease of communication. Dominique believes that Noé had an easier time talking to Louis than he does with her. She saw Louis as smart and capable rather than meek and timid. What she doesn't realize is that Noé and Louis actually had a ton of communication problems and that Louis was incredibly withdrawn. I suppose that's the kind of misconstrued takeaway one has when dealing with someone they idolize and another they're crushing on. She doesn't have the clearest sense of their flaws. (Side note: I think it's kind of amusing that she just assumes Louis would be shorter than Noé. I mean, he was taller than him at the time...) So, even before Louis's death Dominique was dealing with some pretty heavy self-esteem issues, but we really see just how far they've developed over the years. The days following his death seem to really have taken a final toll:

Now, this is something I've wondered about for a while, but it's sad to have it confirmed. As I mentioned, Dominique was worried Noé blamed himself, but the truth of it is Dominique blames herself for Louis's death. The reason she's worried about Noé is because she sincerely believes that the only person worthy of this blame is herself. She thinks that if she had simply kept quiet, Louis would still be alive. Judging by how timid Dominique still is at home, I think this philosophy has followed her for her whole life: stay quiet and out of the way and things will be fine. It's completely different from how she is around Noé, but that's because she is trying to put on a persona she thinks Noé would prefer over her actual personality, i.e. Louis's personality. Of course, Noé cares about Dominique because she's one of his best friends; she doesn't need to do this to herself, but she doesn't realize that. She's fixated on this idea of adjusting herself until Noé sees her in the right light and her family accepts her. Unfortunately, we're dealing with a trio whose communication skills are epically bad. Louis asks Dominique to give Noé the chest "when the time is right." How is she supposed to know when that is? And how could he actually expect Noé to put those stakes to use? But the thing is that none of these characters are thinking clearly. Louis was a young person stuck on the idea that he was cursed and going to die. He refused to talk about it to his friends because, well, what could they do about it? Dominique is ridden with insecurities and couldn't be expected to handle the responsibility Louis gave her, and Noé cared far too much about Louis to fulfill his wish. The only person who could have stepped in and sorted any of this out was Teacher, but he's the one who allowed all of it to happen in the first place. So, Dominique does the only thing she can think to do at the time: stay at Noé's side.

Dominique is terrified here; I really think this might be the first time she's ever stood up to Veronica and it's only because of how urgent things are. We've seen in the present that Veronica has absolutely no qualms going toe-to-toe with her own sister or with publicly shaming her in front of the entire vampiric court. This is not a kind woman. And we see that she was no better in the past. Dominique is frightened of her, and then Veronica gives all of her fears and anxieties the final push they need to plague her for the rest of her life. She takes malignant glee at how her sister has been left in the dark (as if this is Dominique's fault; maybe her family should actually try telling her things...), mocks her, and then reveals her birth itself was a shame on the family.

Cruel though this is, it does remind me of a question I've had for a little while now: how do vampires procreate exactly? Apparently, they have to give birth on a full moon, which is already pretty different from their human counterparts. Now we hear that twins are unlucky because they "steal more life." What, exactly, does that mean? I suspect it doesn't simply imply that it makes the pregnancy more strenuous. Could it be that vampires have to very literally give up some of their lifespan to create offspring? Do they have to perform some kind of sacrifice? But it can't be wholly different from humans; otherwise we wouldn't have dhampirs. Well, we'll undoubtedly learn more about that at some point, but it is an interesting concept. Anyway, Dominique asks Veronica why her parents chose her over Louis. I mean, it's a valid question and it's a moment Veronica could have used to compliment her sister, or possibly console her in some way, so naturally she does the opposite. She basically says it was a whim of their father's. Now, I'm not totally sure I believe that. I had believed Louis was taken away because he was a curse bearer, but Veronica is making it sound like the problem was simply that he was a twin. If what Veronica says is true, that means Louis became a curse bearer after the fact and I think I have a sneaking suspicion of how. Teacher said it would be a waste to simply kill one of the babies and let's not kid ourselves by thinking he had purely good intentions here. He told Louis he wanted to see what choices he made. Well, for an experiment to work, you have to actually have some variable you're testing. I think Teacher (who probably has some connection to Charlatan) cursed Louis himself, perhaps to see how long he would last under those kinds of conditions and how he would try to change his fate. Also, I think it's important to point out that Veronica said "If news that your mother had given birth to twins had gotten out, it would have tarnished the name of de Sade." That pretty heavily implies that Veronica and Dominique do not have the same mother, which would make sense. It also raises yet another question of how vampiric society handles things like marriage. To me, it sounds like their father is the head of de Sade second only to Teacher. Does he have multiple wives? Concubines? If women have to give some of their life to have children, it might make sense not to have too many children with one woman, and if the aristocracy is determined to expand the family name, the easiest way of doing that would be by having several children. The de Sades are clearly concerned with preserving the family name and with having enough heirs to handle... I'm not sure. Antoine seems to be in charge of diplomacy, Veronica is a Beastia, and Dominique... What is it that she's supposed to be doing? What is it that they think she's failing at so badly? After Veronica's big reveal, Dominique wonders if Louis knew the truth and to be honest, I don't know if he was ever told, but I wouldn't be surprised if he was. Teacher wasn't exactly gentle with him and I'm sure he would be curious to see how he handled the knowledge that Dominique was very literally chosen over him. She is his twin sister and she can never know. By all accounts, Louis would have been justified in being cruel to her, but he never was; he was always kind and patient, and I think that says more about Louis than anything else ever will. If he hadn't undergone the horrors Teacher chose for him, he probably would have been a much more carefree person.

This scene is just sad on so many levels. Veronica didn't have to plant the seed of doubt in Dominique's mind that Louis would have been a better heir than her. She didn't have to make her wonder if Louis was simply a better candidate for everything she's ever wanted: better at being a de Sade, better for Noé, better for everyone. And poor Noé has no idea he accidentally fed into this. He was just as traumatized as Dominique and, well, she does look a lot like Louis. Who could blame him for mistaking them when he has a raging fever and is in mourning? But the damage is done. Dominique is convinced that Noé would have preferred Louis over her, and this has no doubt fed into her misery over her unrequited love for him as well. Perhaps, on some level, she believes that if she had been Louis, Noé would love her already. Also, this means that Vanitas's jab in volume two is all the more hurtful:

This always read to me as Vanitas saying Dominique was just a stand in for what Noé really wants and while it is true that Noé has thought of Louis on occasion when he's with Dominique, I don't think it's fair to say he wishes she were him. They're twins and they were both Noé's childhood friends. It would be normal for him to miss Louis in such a scenario. But Vanitas is very good at hitting where it hurts and he did so very well with Dominique. If there's one good thing that could come of this arc, I hope it's that Dominique realizes how much Noé cares about her. He goes to her rescue immediately:

We only see Noé get this serious when it has to do with Dominique or Louis. These are the two people he cares for most; he's not messing around when it comes to her rescue. Also, I really like that he doesn't bother with negotiating or any of that. He goes straight to the fighting and it's great; negotiation isn't going to work with this kid. With anyone else, this would be a great tactic, but Misha has a book and is willing to fight dirty. I really feel like this is going to turn into one of those: "If you'd just told me this in advance things could have been different!" moments that Noé and Vanitas have had in the past.

The text bubble really makes it look like Vanitas is just shouting this in the middle of the restaurant. I find that amusing, but wouldn't it make more sense to be thinking this...? XD But! Everyone is piecing things together way faster this arc and that is kind of a relief. Vanitas isn't going to be taken off guard by Noé acting strangely; he knows exactly what kind of damage Misha can do. Furthermore, Noé swiftly puts it together that Misha has done something to Dominique's name. If nothing else, at least everyone is in the know on how bad things are. 8D At any rate, Noé's attacks swiftly come to a halt when Misha uses the book on him. The technique is the same that Vanitas used on him during the Bal Masqué. It seems to primarily function as a stun, but it looks like Misha's was designed to pack a heavier punch because Noé can't move at all while he was able to somewhat when Vanitas used it. Of course, the main difference is that Vanitas didn't want to do permanent damage to Noé; he just needed to prevent him from hindering his job. Misha on the other hand has no qualms about killing a woman, so he definitely wouldn't be opposed to wreaking more havoc still on yet another individual. It's interesting that last chapter we got to see Noé tell Vanitas he's glad he's the person he is now because he's now getting a very fast intro into just how awful Vanitas could have been if he'd been inclined to. These books have the power to seal a vampire's fate, for better or worse. Misha has chosen for the worse.

"Only this book." I suppose that means he didn't inherit the name "Vanitas." (Did Vanitas really inherit it or did he just steal it?) It could also be a way of emphasizing he wasn't given Vanitas's book; just this one.

Amazing how at the end of their introductions, Vanitas is the one who looks decidedly mad, but it's Misha who is infinitely crazier. I guess first impressions aren't everything. 8D

Okay, he says he's kidding, but the only thing he could possibly be joking about is that he's an "average human being," which, let's be honest, sounded a lot like a lie when Vanitas said it, too. I don't think either of them are "average" human beings. Something about being kin to the blue moon changed them and I think we're eventually going to learn more about what and how.

Okay, so here's the thing. Misha may be "evil" but he's not an evil genius. There have been flaws in his plan from the get go, notably that he thought he could fully control Dominique to do anything that would put Noé in danger because I'm pretty sure his original plan went something like this: Dominique asks Noé to follow her. She leads him to Misha. Noé and Misha sit down for a chat. Noé agrees to drink Vanitas's blood and comes back with info. Only, that isn't how it went and it's unlikely this backup plan will work either. Misha is making a lot of assumptions here: 1) Noé has no qualms about drinking Vanitas's blood (as, perhaps, most vampires wouldn't), 2) Threatening Dominique won't lead to massive repercussions, 3) Vanitas himself won't be involved to mess this plan up, 4) Noé is actually capable enough as an Archiviste to locate specific information. Well, none of that is true. Noé has massive reservations about drinking Vanitas's blood, he absolutely will not forgive this kid for threatening Dominique, Vanitas is probably already on his way, and Noé is more likely to lose himself in Vanitas's memories and wind up traumatized than come back with any useful information. 8D I mean, maybe Noé does drink Vanitas's blood because I do believe he'd do just about anything to save Dominique, but I think it's more likely that Vanitas himself will show up and put a wrench in this entire affair. I guess we're going to find out the answer to that pretty swiftly with the next chapter. Anyway, I'm going to toss in a few predictions for this arc and see if any of them stick: Noé and Vanitas actually have to tell each other some of their dark backstories (in other words, Vanitas has to explain who "Father" is and Noé has to explain Louis), Noé doesn't drink Vanitas's blood, Dominique is lost to Noé, but not because she dies. Rather, I think it's more likely these two are going to have a whole lot of revelations about each other and the sheer awkward factor/shame will cause them to need time apart.

#vanitas no carte #vnc meta #vnc spoilers #Bemused's post #long post

[paybackraid]

Someone’s First Snow

Summary: It snows in the Land of Departure for the first time in a long time and, well, Vanitas has never seen snow before.

Genfic, post KH3, following Vanitas’ inevitable redemption (I promise).

Ambiguous POV.  AO3

--------

“Fuck,” Ventus chanted, rubbing his forearms as he shook his way toward the kitchen. The castle was freezing, he could feel it in his toes. It was rarely toasty, but it only ever got cold, when…

One glance out of the window confirmed it. Snow. 

Ventus hated snow. He wasn’t a cold weather person. He could handle fifty degrees at minimum, and even that was pushing it. When it was cold enough to snow, then it was just too fucking cold. 

“When the fuck did this happen?”

“Ventus,” Aqua scolded from her place at the table, hand curled around a mug of coffee. “Language.”

“It’s below freezing, I’ll say what I want.”

Terra snorted from the kitchen counter where he steeped a cup of tea. “Amen to that. This fluffy white bullshit negates all manners. Hope no one important was coming.”

Aqua laughed and shook her head. “No, not today. Thankfully. I have to go out and see if I can salvage my garden. This came out of nowhere.”

Terra turned to lean against the counter, nursing his mug in one hand and holding out another to Ventus. Yet another sat on the mug warmer, but it would probably be there for a while. 

Ventus extended his hand for his mug and melted into the warmth in his hands. It was too hot to drink yet, but this felt too nice anyway. 

“So,” he said after a long moment of just existing in something warm, “what’s the plan for today then?”

“Lessons are off,” Aqua immediately said. 

“Shoveling,” Terra said with a grimace Ventus could hear. Terra hated shoveling—apparently it messed with his back. Ventus should probably consider helping him.

“You should continue your studies, if you have any bookwork left.”

Ventus grimaced himself, but nodded. He hated bookwork, but Aqua was the Master around here. He didn’t ask about Kairi, assuming Aqua had already told her not to come. “I’ll help shovel, and the—“

Before he could get out his sentence, there was a commotion from the stairwell that instantly had all three of them on edge. Ventus took three steps back to peer out of the kitchen toward the front door, which now stood wide open letting in the cold. That had been closed when he passed it. 

Two more steps and much wider vision outside confirmed it. A black mass stood outside in the front yard, surrounded by twirling blue emotions. 

What was Vanitas doing up already…?

“What was that?” Aqua asked, coming around to see. Vanitas normally stayed up late and awoke late, favoring the dark. So it was no wonder if she wasn’t expecting him already. Nevermind that he was normally significantly quieter…

“Uh… I guess Vanitas is up.”

Aqua and Terra split a look, but Ventus was too busy watching his other half. Vanitas had been living with them for almost two years now, studying alongside him and Kairi to be a Master. He had mellowed out significantly since being released from Master Xehanort’s control, finding comfort in sullen silences and snarky one liners. He acted aloof most of the time—sometimes he’d show some positive emotion, and he spent enough time with Ventus that he knew what his laugh and amusement and smile was like, but little else.

And this?

This was none of that. 

Starkly black against the white falling snow, Vanitas stood out like a sore thumb. His head was pitched to the sky, and when Ventus got closer, he saw his mouth hanging open. He looked entirely astounded. By what? The snow?

“Whatcha doin’, Van?” Terra asked when he squeezed past Ventus, leaning against the door frame. 

“Snow,” Vanitas said. 

Aqua hummed and stopped just in front of Terra, leaning back against him. “Yeah. We don’t see it often, so this was a surprise. Came out of nowhere.”

“Snow.”

“I see.”

Apparently realizing that he looked like an idiot, Vanitas closed his mouth and dropped his head to the white stuff at his feet. Aqua had gotten him a nice pair of slippers for his last birthday, which were covering his feet then. “I, uh…” he said, scratching at the place that used to be covered by the chin and headguard, in his hair. “Once we were split, I lived in a desert my whole life, and I don’t remember seeing any before that either. Closest I ever got to—“ he put out his hand to catch falling snowflakes, watching them melt in his palm. “Snow, was a Blizzard spell. But now it’s just happening. ‘S like magic.”

“Distinctly not magic.”

Vanitas shot all three of them a soured look. “You know what I mean.”

Terra and Aqua laughed. Ventus stepped inside to slip into his boots and follow his other half. Annoying as it was, there was nothing quite like someone experiencing their first snow. He stopped several feet away from him, knowing Vanitas would get up to shenanigans as soon as he realized what snowy options were available. 

Vanitas took a step away, not the recoil it used to be so much as taking back his space. However, his roly poly Unversed, the two Blue Sea Salts having a good old fashioned time in their element, did not expect the movement. One had apparently been having the time of its life, and rolled under his feet in just the wrong moment. 

Vanitas tripped and landed in a small snowdrift, his back immediately going rigid and hands flying out of the snow. “C-cold!” 

The other three all laughed again, and since Ventus was closer, he neared and extended his hand. The darker boy took his hand and was hauled to his feet, but the shivering didn’t stop. The Blue Sea Salt at his feet crooned, looking ready for death, but Vanitas’ annoyance with the creatures had drained years ago, and he merely tapped his ankle against it as some sort of reprimand, and left it at that. 

“Hey, Van,” Terra called from his place by the door. “Wanna know what the best thing about snow is?”

Vanitas turned to him, eyes huge with wonder at the clearly far wiser and much more knowledgeable Master. He shoved his hands into his fluffy pajama pockets to try to warm them.

“Terr—“

Ventus glanced over too late. A snowball pelted him in the face and knocked him off his feet, and instantly Vanitas and Terra were bent double, wheezing with laughter at his misfortune. To Ventus’ mortification, he even heard Aqua’s familiar breathy laughter shortly after scolding Terra. 

Helpfully, Vanitas came over and offered his hand, and he didn’t even shove Ventus face-first back into the snow after he helped him up. Instead, the dark-haired teen leaned over and whispered conspiratorially into his ear. 

Ventus’ face split into an ear-to-ear grin. He gathered snow and packed it together, handed it to his other half, and watched him vanish. 

Seconds later, Vanitas appeared above Terra’s head. Rather than smashing it onto his head, though, Vanitas yanked the back of Terra’s shirt from his neck, and shoved the entire mound of snow down it. Terra yelped and danced away, and Vanitas dodge-rolled away from flailing, frantic limbs.

When even Aqua burst into laughter right away, citing Ventus’ attack as “well-deserved retaliation”, it was war. 

Ventus and Vanitas arguably teamed up, packing snowballs and hiding behind heavy bushes, although they spent as much time pelting each other as they did Aqua and Terra. Terra hid behind the banister, collecting his snowballs, and Aqua used her magic to build up a fort of her own. 

Aqua won. Naturally. Or at least, she came out of it covered in less snow than the other three. Ventus surrendered to her warp magic pelting him with snowballs on all sides, all while Vanitas valiantly declared, “you’ll have to kill me, I’ll never give in!” Typical Vanitas. A drift of snow had fallen off the roof and coated poor Terra halfway through the game, which gave him more ammo but also set the cold in that much faster. He had been first to fold. 

Then, the shivers and sniffles set in, and they decided as a collective to head in. Aqua was pretty sure she saw Vanitas dunk Ventus’ head in snow one more time before running in, but she didn’t comment. They were having fun, and she’d never seen Vanitas have so much fun and act so carefree. 

Terra, bless his soul, dumped out all of their chilled mugs of coffee and tea and started on hot chocolate. Aqua went to set a fire in the fireplace, and sent the boys running off to find wool socks and blankets. 

“Well,” Terra asked once they were all bundled in. Ventus was sat between he and Aqua, cradling his mug, while Vanitas was wrapped up in no less than three blankets, chin propped on the coffee table. “How was your first snow? Hate it yet?”

Vanitas turned his face to the side and considered it, squashed against the table. He flexed stiff fingers and toes, then looked out the window. The snow was still falling. “Fun. I think.”

“Great. Then you’re going to love the part where we have to shovel out all of the walking paths and the gummi pad. It’s a thrill.”

Ventus groaned, having totally forgotten about the work that came with it. Vanitas groaned in solidarity and flopped back against the couch. 

“Great. Can’t wait.”

#creative aces #my writing #khfanfic #vanitas kh #vanitas #idk yall vanitas is just adorable and thats its just not my fault #sorry guys i dont make the rules #dividass

[snowflake-of-destruction]

Grass is Greener // Sibling Shenanigans 1/3

“I might be getting a divorce!” The signs of truth were there. Kairi had a cat carrier in each hand, Astrophe, the princess too good for a carrier, laid across her chest with claws dug into her shoulder, and the long strap of a duffel bag crossing her chest at a slant with the bag itself balanced against a cocked hip. Kairi’s shadow and liner were smudged and eyes too bright. Her smile was forced. Her hair was coiled in a complicated knot, but with several strands fallen out and curling slightly with damp and stuck to her face and neck,  and she was wearing a short black sequined dress with tennis shoes and no socks. She was a definite picture. 

However, her lines were delivered with the air of someone announcing that they had won an all expenses paid trip to Port Royal, and not that the life they had built was crumbling around them, so Axel thought he could be excused when it was with an exasperated sigh and a, “What happened this time?” that he welcomed his little sister through his front door and not a sympathetic and concerned, “Tell me what happened.”

“You know how Vanitas was supposed to be gone this weekend?” The carriers were already on the floor and Kairi and Vanitas’s manx, Ali, had, by all evidence Axel could see, turned to smoke and reformed outside the wire barred door as soon as it was set on the ground before Kairi had even bent to unlatch it, Astrophe running after his sister. “Is Stuffing shut in the bedroom?” All of Kairi’s cats knew Turkey was monarch of the realm, and they were proud aunts and uncles to the litter (Pumpkin, Gravy, Cranberry, Potato, and Biscuit, all of whom were supposed to have gone on to new homes by now, but Kairi suspected were to become permanent fixtures since Axel had not been able to “find the time” to secure appropriate homes so far since “They can’t just go to anyone, Kairi, and I’m not sending them to your broken home either!”) but Kairi’s old wirehair cat, Tillac, who Axel assumed was in the other carrier, and Stuffing had a rivalry that stretched back years. 

Axel didn’t even bother to nod, opting instead to ask, “Is Xion okay?” as he closed the door and then addressed his sister’s other question while bending to pick up the shoes she’d already kicked off so he could place them on the shoe rack by the door which she never remembered to do.  “No, I don’t keep Stuffing shut up unless I’m expecting Tilly, which I wasn’t.” The last was said with a pointed look. “I see you had your hands full, but would it have killed you to call?”

Kairi gaped at him. “Axel, I just took the kids and left my husband, and you manage to take his side by implying the only reason we could have argued is if I had planned something untoward in his absence, insult one of my dearest friends, imply you care more about Xion than your own sister, and whine about how my showing up is going to impact the plans I know you don’t have all in the space of seconds? Axel, your baby sister is distraught!” 

“Yeah, but is Xion okay?” Axel repeated without pause. “She’s sensitive.” He dropped the shoes in their proper place and let out a belated snort. “Untoward? Are you using a word of the day calendar so you can impress the hubby’s friends?”

Kairi released Tillac to go harass Stuffing until Turkey put her in her place, stood up, and tugged the hem of her dress down and readjusted the bodice to try and wrangle everything into a more presentable place. “Not all of us spend our days communicating only in grunts, brother dear.”

“Hey!” Axel gasped in mock offense. “I’m trying my best to teach Demyx human speech, but sometimes I have to meet him halfway.” He opened up his arms and gestured with his hands for Kairi to come hug him, an olive branch she immediately accepted, tripping over the cat carriers to throw herself in his arms. “Now tell me what happened and we can get drunk, or I’ll go threaten the bastard with a weed whacker or something.”  He kissed the top of her head and rubbed her back. There wasn’t enough information yet to establish whether this was a you’ll work it out moment or a you really shouldn’t go back this time with a side of you could do so much better, so he left no follow up.

“It’s really not that bad,” were Kairi’s first words and Axel could have provided commentary, but led her over the couch instead. Presumably, that meant Xion was fine. “It’s my fault. I picked a fight.”

He waited a second for more details, and, when none came, he urged her along. “Atta girl. Knock some teeth out? He has too many.”

“Axel, please.”

“Didja, blacken one of those creepy gold eyes?” Axel forced an exaggerated shudder to go with his words. He didn’t have to do much to make it happen. He’d found Vanitas unnerving ever since Kairi introduced them (or, rather, failed to, since “Guess who got married in Vegas?” did not an introduction make).

“His eyes are hazel and they are gorgeous.” Kairi sighed, picking up a wandering kitten from the arm of the couch and sitting them on her lap to cuddle (Pumpkin or Cranberry, but with Kairi’s hand covering the the top of their head while she scritched their scalp, there was no way to check the marking).

“Sure, if you’re a hawk. I bet all the lady hawks go crazy.”

“That’s my husband,” Kairi warned.

“Yeah, but for how much longer?” Axel scoffed, brushing his sister’s fight with husband off again, something he still wasn’t sure he wouldn’t regret later, though Kairi’s glare was weak enough he was confident that he would be called to post bail because Kairi and Vanitas were picked up for indecent acts in the back seat of a convertible in the middle of a car show by next week. It wasn’t like this was the first time Kairi had shown up on his door, claiming things might be over. There was a bit of a girl who cried wolf situation at this stage. He picked up his half finished beer from the coffee table and took a swig. “And I’m just saying you have bad taste. Xion excluded. Do you want to put your duffel  and the carriers in the guest room?”

“I don’t have bad taste. You have bad taste,” Kairi fired back and Axel couldn’t help but picture her at eight years old with a missing tooth and a haircut she’d given herself because he had dared her. “Your last boyfriend was literally a serial killer.”

“You have to kill three people before its serial and he was only convicted of manslaughter. Honestly, it’s like you never had a bad relationship before.” Axel’s easygoing reply of the standard line didn’t match the sudden flicker out and fade of amusement from his eyes.

“You do better with bored housewives.” Kairi patted his arm, and it was almost like an apology. “I’ll get the luggage in a minute.”

“I do fantastic with bored housewives,” Axel corrected, “but I’m usually only interested in their husbands.”

“Oh! Speaking of,” Kairi tucked her legs beneath her and sat up straighter, predatory look entering her eyes, “You started work for Xion’s brother-in-law today, right?”

Kairi smiled suddenly with too many teeth--maybe she was well suited to her husband after all--and Axel found it took all his focus to swallow his beer without choking. It occurred to him that the thermostat might have been broken, because the room was getting humid but the air hadn’t kicked on. “Weren’t you distraught?” He furrowed his brow like a good concerned big brother. “Didn’t you have a fight with your husband? You may be getting divorced. I know we don’t talk about things that bother us like a normal family, thanks Dad, but that’s upsetting news! I’m distraught! My ears are wide open.” He took one of Kairi’s hands in both of his and there was a meow of protest from Pumpkin. “I’m listening.”

Kairi pulled away and resumed important kitten petting duties. Unlike before, where her petulance was for Axel  taking things too lightly, her frustration now seemed to be at internal sources. “Sora invited me away for the weekend. Most of that duffel was already packed.”

“What about Xion?” Axel whined his bias. “She was in…” Axel made an okay symbol with his thumb and index finger and whistled between his teeth for effect, “fine form when I saw her earlier. She was wearing this petal pink bodycon number so short I saw that starfish you’re always talking about, and I think she cut her hair again, or at least did some different product. She was wearing that perfume you got her too. I thought you guys had something planned tonight.”

“Maybe she was going out with Ventus.” Kairi was dismissive enough in tone, but her lips pursed when they were done with the words and Pumpkin made a complaining noise like he’d been squeezed. 

“Who?” Axel oozed false innocence and confusion.

“Her husband...fiancé...boyfriend...whatever,” Kairi waved vaguely, more obviously disgruntled by the moment.

“Not whatever. Just because you skipped a few steps with ol’ Vani the Vain, doesn’t mean there is a distinct difference between those three things, typically one that matters to most people.”

“Just those in the relationship,” Kairi countered.

“And those with...what’s the word?” Axel pretended to think as Pumpkin abandoned Kairi in favor of him, and two more cats came bolting into the room as if summoned, sensing Dad was handing out love. “Morals? Boundaries? Restraint?”

“Van and I do have restraints…” Kairi hummed,  trailing off once the joke was made and clicking her tongue to lure Potatoes to her.

Axel howled protest and screwed up his face, playing along, glad Kairi was distracted again before she could get sad. “ Too much information even for us!”  When Kairi giggled--with grateful eyes that said she wasn’t really that amused, but was trying because she saw he was working hard to keep things light from the moment she’d walked in the door--Axel declared that part of his job done and reoriented back to allowing Kairi to tell her story. “So Vanitas was supposed to be gone so you made plans with Sora, and you were just going to leave the cats? “

“Xion was going to check in on the cats,” Kairi clarified the important part.

“You were going to have Xion catsit while you went traipsing off with the flavor of the month?” Axel stretched his mouth and widened his eyes, daring his face to stick in the clowning expression. “You’ll never get her to leave Airvent and marry you instead that way!”

“I’m already married...for now,” Kairi tokenly defended her marriage.

“Doesn’t count. He didn’t get my blessing...and he never will.” Axel was quick on both parts of the rejoinder.

Kairi ignored him as he expected her to and started to confess in a rush, “So Vanitas announces that he’s not going to the conference anymore; something about him finding out some of the last second substitutions in presenters and articles being presented when his was declined in the peer review stage...He was still published, but it’s a whole political thing with being featured in the conference. Anyway, he had to boycott on principle, so he’s home, and he told me to get ready because we were going out to dinner and we were going to order multiple bottles of wine and get kicked out of our favorite restaurant because he’s already a disgrace…his words. He gave me the opening, and I took it, because I’m panicked Sora is going to show up at the door.”

Axel raised his hand like an obedient child in a classroom to be called on, but just went ahead and interrupted even when he was ignored. “Isn’t Sora the yoga guy? Couldn’t he defeat Vani Vain with the power of friendship and love?” He hadn’t met Sora. Kairi was quite adamant that he wasn’t allowed to after he’d been a little more than politely amused at her stories. It was a fair ask since Kairi had, rightly, assumed that the only reasons Axel wanted to meet Sora were to see if he could make him cry for the fun of it, warn him off his sister, or, if he proved to be as attractive as Kairi said, sleep with him himself.

Kairi continued as if the interruption hadn’t happened. “I don’t take it right away. I get dressed, start to do my hair, and then I start throwing things from the vanity and yelling about how he can’t just order me to doll up like that’s all I am, his doll, waiting pretty on a shelf, ready to play with when he remembers I’m there. I point out he never asked me to come to the convention with him, and after we had such fun at last years’.” Axel snorted, knowing that story, and the pattern of being blocked out continued,  “And I know how many spouses come along now. I think I accused him of having an affair. I really don’t know. I half blacked out. A spirit took over, and when I came to, I was packing a bag and insulting his paper because he still wasn’t getting angry enough fast enough to justify me leaving.”

“It sounds like you handled the situation brilliantly,” Axel complimented. “So did you call Sora and tell him to pick you up here, or is the weekend off? Am I on catsitting and husband deflection duty?” He wasn’t seeing a problem yet, not even something that warranted Kairi’s overdramatic divorce line, though a troubling thought did occur to him. “If he smacked you, shoved you, laid a hand on you in any way when you started yelling at him, I will do more than threaten him with the chainsaw. He’s dead. Demyx will help me hide the body. He knows a guy, and he owes me. They both owe me. Plus, I learned some tricks from my ex.” He softened his concern and threats he was prepared to follow through with in jokes. 

“Stop thinking the worst of him at every opportunity,” Kairi snapped, and Potatoes rubbed his head against her stomach to calm her. “He just...took some low blows of his own and things escalated more quickly than I wanted them to.” She shifted uncomfortably.

“Like what?” Axel responded carefully, not wanting to supply guesses when it was a losing game, even if he came from the angle of listing reasons anything Vanitas could have said was untrue.

“It doesn’t matter,” Kairi insisted, which was a prime sign that it did. “I just might be here a few days for real after Sora and I get back. He’s coming to pick me up in an hour.”

Axel was silent a moment, assessing whether he should push Kairi to talk or hope the weekend healed the wounds, then nodded and gently lifted all cats away from his body. “An hour doesn’t give us much time. Go sit at the dining room table. Go!” He shooed her.

Kairi complied without asking for explanation and Axel went into the kitchen, grabbing two wine glasses down from the cabinet and an open half a red from the fridge. On impulse, he grabbed a few empty beer bottles from his recycling pile as well and stuck them under his arms. He continued their conversation as he rejoined his sister. “Do I get to meet Sora or is he supposed to stay outside and honk? Put your head down on the table and look listless.” He poured the barest hint of wine in the bottom of the glass he put in front of Kairi, and did the same for the one he put in his spot at the table. He arranged the empty beer bottles with the eye of an artist. “Let me go get my phone. Look sadder, but not so sad it’s unbelievable.” 

“If you want to meet Sora, take one of his classes.”

Axel snapped a series of pictures to choose from, talking to himself, “She’s doing fine, Vanitas. We spent the evening talking. Of course. I’ll send you a picture.” Raising his voice a few decibels, he gestured back to the living room. “Go lie down on the couch, cover yourself with the fleece from the armchair,  put a cat or two on your chest, and close your eyes. We’ll shoot, ‘don’t come over now, Van, she’s sleeping,’ next and then you can change into sweats and grab some board games from the closet. I’m assuming you’ll be too mad to answer phone calls from him anyway, but do you want to take your hair down and get it wet in the sink for some, ‘No, she just got out of the shower, why are you so creepy needing evidence?’ safety shots?”

“You’re seriously the best brother ever,” Kairi leaned up on tiptoes and pecked Axel’s cheek on her way into the living room.

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

“Roxas was watching you today from the upstairs window,” Kairi tossed out nonchalantly. “Xion texted me about it. He wants to smell your hair and cook you dinner.”

“He what?” Axel stuttered and nearly fumbled his phone. So much for a steady hand and unflappable cool. The Howe he hadn’t met yet, having spoken with Isa Howe during his initial looks around and estimates for the yard, had come outside after Xion had left, and all but admitted to watching him at least as long as to comment on Xion detouring to chat with him a minute before she went to her car, and, sure, Axel had purposefully peeled off his shirt and rolled down his overalls to his waist after Roxas had went inside, hoping he was still watching, but he hadn’t seen any proof, and their brief conversation had spent a moment on shock of shared acquaintances (“You know Xion? I knew you were Kairi’s brother--she recommended you--so it makes sense since they’re close, but that’s wild. Small world.”)  and then stayed in the professional (apparently Roxas had been the one who had done the sketches Isa had shown Axel of what the garden in the backyard was supposed to look like when he was done). Maybe Axel had noticed that Roxas had eyes the exact color blue as the delphinium hybrid he had presented at his last flower show (had to keep up the street cred that he was more than just a lawn service guy and a tree and hedge trimmer somehow--even if that sort of thing was his bread and butter), and that he was pretty cut since he hadn’t bothered with a shirt when he ran outside. And perhaps, when the sun caught his hair he looked like an angel out of a renaissance painting. None of that meant anything though.

“He wants to cook you dinner,”Kairi repeated, cavalier. “Be gentle with him. I think it would be his first time out of the box in awhile.”

“I’m not…” Axel pinched the bridge of his nose, counting to keep from getting angry and only managing to count the problems he had with what Kairi was suggesting. “Is this why you recommended me to your friend? Are you my pimp now?”

“He needs a fling.” Kairi had the nerve to shrug. “You are an accomplished flinger. The only person you’re seeing right now is Demyx, and he’s just a friend sleeping in one of your spare rooms….He is still just a friend sleeping in one of your spare rooms, right?”

“Most nights.” Axel left it ambiguous whether Demyx spent the odd night elsewhere or whether the friend lines sometimes blurred. “And my best tree trimmer.”

“That’s what I heard from Ienzo.” Kairi proved the Emberson comedic timing lived well in her. “So what’s the problem with Xion and I wanting to give Roxas a hot gardener fantasy to brighten up his life? He’s a friend.”

“So many things are wrong with that, Thalassa Shell.” In times so serious, Axel had no choice but to bring out family pet names. 

A beat passed. Kairi didn’t apologize for the idea like she was supposed to. Axel didn’t harp on it more. Another question fought its way out of his throat. “Incidentally though, did he say anything else about me?”

#grass is greener verse #fanfiction #axel #kairi #kingdom hearts #akuroku #not really akuroku but ya know gotta warn people #vanikai #kaixi #GIANT THANK YOUS TO EVERYONE WHO ENJOYS THIS #AND ESPECIALLY ONES THAT CREATED THINGS CELEBRATING THE NONSENSE #snippets

[joyokosuka]

Kingdom Hearts 3 Novel 3 - Remind Me Again

Master Xehanort, Xigbar, and Saix convene

About seventy-five years later - the same Keyblade Graveyard.

Xehanort was comparatively much older - now a Keyblade Master.  He had his eyes closed, deep in thought, but smiled.

The wind swirled.  It was the same wind blowing as before.

“What got you to smile, Grandpa?”  Xigbar inquired.  Saix stood next to him.

“When I was a young man, I met another person here, and realized something.  I still don’t know to this day who he really was, but he spoke the truth.”

Upon hearing this recollection, Xigbar laughed scornfully.

“Quite the retrospective.  Since we lost Sora as our thirteenth vessel, we’re down to twelve, including the three of us here.  Do you think they came back to this time?”

As Xigbar complained, Saix looked up.  He teleported to one of the thirteen rock pillars.  Master Xehanort and Xigbar followed suit.  Saix raised a hand, and three images of the Real Organization members appeared on the pillars.

Master Xehanort found this familiar.  The pillars were there, back then.  There were thirteen.  Had he realized that number’s significance at that time?

“Marluxia and Larxene both returned to this time, and have already begun investigating the New Seven Hearts.  Luxord also returned to this time, but is acting upon some instructions you gave him.  What did you tell him to do?”

“Oh, yeah…..that,” Xigbar answered Saix.  He casually shrugged his shoulders and continued.  “The task I gave Luxord will be good for us.  It’s not something that affects us now.  Continue.”

“Secretive as usual, I see,” Saix said, looking up to Master Xehanort.  Master Xehanort seemed especially interested in what Xigbar was planning.  “Well, that’s fine.  The hearts of Ansem, Xemnas, Vanitas, Riku Replica, and Young Xehanort returned to this time and reassembled.  Each of them is following a guardian of light.”

Projections floated around Master Xehanort, other than Riku Replica.

Xigbar looked at Master Xehanort, then turned back to the projections on the rock pillars.

“First of all, the ones who turned into humans and then Nobodies are me, you, Luxord, Marluxia, and Larxene - five.  The ones from the past whose hearts were put in replicas are Ansem, Xemnas, Vanitas, Riku Replica, and the young version of the old guy - five.  I don’t really get how he came back, but the old man makes eleven.  So, we still need two.”

After Xigbar had confirmed the Organization’s status, Master Xehanort finally opened his mouth.

“We have an agenda today.  Each of my past vessels that held my heart were annihilated, so I have been revived.  In order for someone to disappear, their heart and body must be restored to their original form.  That is why I put my heart in many vessels.  Ansem and Xemnas were created from Terra’s young form, which has now been revived.  His heart is absent, however.  This body holds the same heart that Terra’s body held after his fall to darkness.”

Terra-Xehanort’s projection appeared in front of Master Xehanort.

“So that’s twelve...one left.  Who’s gonna make up for Sora?”  Xigbar asked.

“Vexen created twenty replicas.  The first twelve were essentially just puppets.  After the prototype Riku Replica, Vexen made No. i.  Six were created after - five went to Ansem, Xemnas, Vanitas, Riku Replica, and Young Xehanort.  The last one...we could use Demyx or Vexen, but they are just backups.  The plan is to have a heart connected to Sora transferred to that replica.”

The projection named No. i floated next to Vexen and Riku Replica.

Xigbar answered Saix, looking at No. i without recognition.

“Connected to Sora?  Do you have any ideas?”

“The prototype that was created after Riku Replica, No. i.  It was erased from memories, but Vexen kept records on it.  It is heavily connected to Sora’s memories, so it will be useful as a vessel.”

No. i had been erased from all memory.  Saix wasn’t an exception.  However, it mysteriously had remained through records.

“No. i….an imaginary number.  How cynical,” Xigbar murmured to himself, speaking of the girl he once called Poppet.

“Young Xehanort is currently working on collecting hearts for the replicas.  With Vexen’s help, we will make progress to collect the thirteen.”

As Saix continued his explanation, Xigbar chuckled.

“Just what I would expect from you.  It’s good that I don’t have to worry about that.  Okay, I’ll be going,” Xigbar said, shrugging his shoulders.  He disappeared into a portal of darkness.

“Alright, let our plan commence.”

Saix looked up to Master Xehanort, then also disappeared into a portal.

“May your heart be your guiding key,” Master Xehanort murmured to himself, alone.

#kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts iii #xehanort #translations #xigbar #saix #sora #marluxia #larxene #luxord #ansem sod #xemnas #vanitas #repliku #terranort #vexen #demyx

[storm-driver]

Chapter 10 for Atone and Repay is at about the 56% mark and I should be able to get more of it done in the next week, maybe get it up soon. Chapter 11 shouldn’t take nearly as long, since I’ve been working on that one alongside Chapter 10. As a thanks for putting up with my excessively long hiatus, here’s a preview for Chapter 10 below the cut! I’ve been working on this chapter since I published Chapter 9 last year, but a majority of this chapter was written in the past few months. Thank you again for sticking with me, and I hope to have “Once More” up on Ao3 sometime in the next few weeks! <3

(Be warned, has direct spoilers for AAR, please consider reading the full story before reading this ^^)

“So much for leaving home...And here I thought I’d get to go on a real journey for once…” Ventus huffed, dragging his tired, armored legs across the stone floor outside his castle home. Night had fallen on the Land of Departure, and it was getting increasingly cold with each passing second.

Ventus’ pulled the helmet off his head, making his blond spikes spring back up as he did so. He stole a glance at the clouded skies, spotting the first specks of snow that fluttered down. The cold wind pressed against his face, soothing the small pain from the scratch that he still had on his cheek.

It’d only been a few hours since the Nobodies attacked them in the mansion, but it felt like it could’ve been months ago. Roxas’ unsuspecting body being hurled across the room, through a doorway and crashing down into the broken table and chandelier. The desolate look on his face, his eyes unblinking and heart beating all too slow. He must’ve had a concussion, even after Aqua administered some healing spells. He had still been slurring his words and glancing around the room as if he had not escaped the memory from the past.

It only gave rise to worry when he insisted on searching the mansion still. Standing up from his spot on the table and tumbling forward as Terra and Riku tried to get him to sit down. And then Roxas fell over seconds after standing up.

Would that they hadn’t encountered those Nobodies, or that Roxas hadn’t fallen at such a precarious moment. He wouldn’t recover within an hour, and Aqua made the decision to go back home. To take a break and simply breathe rather than throwing themselves into the next piece of this puzzle they couldn’t solve. It had been several nights since anyone in the castle got good rest, being awoken by Ventus’ screams at painful nightmares, or the everyday trauma that seemed to haunt them all.

Being back home was reassuring, at least. Ventus knew this place, better than anywhere else he may have lived in the past. He knew the halls, and where he could sleep without someone bothering him. He knew the mountains where they trained, and he knew the forest far and below them. It was a small world, but it was a haven. Even if Nobodies had proven they could reach here. 

The dark corridor he’d walked through was ever shifting and threatening to close if someone had lost his grip on the darkness. It was sketchy to let Roxas bring them home, after being knocked out in such a manner and with a blur of new memories at the front of his mind. 

But Roxas stepped through it just fine. His hood was draped over his head, giving way to only tired, blue eyes and a small frown. The chains rattled on his chest and he leaned forward to keep himself from falling. He still wasn’t fully healed, and he may not have been for some time.

The tip of his boot snagged a crack in the cement, throwing off his already shaken balance. Roxas’ eyes popped open and he started falling forward, the hood over his head slipping onto his back and exposing his frightened face. Fortunate that Ventus had walked through the portal first, his armored frame caught Roxas’ against his chest and kept his friend from face planting against the stone.

Roxas’ body fell limp against Ventus. The latter, who nearly shrieked at the sight, kept his arms around Roxas and held him up. Roxas’ head was resting over Ven’s shoulder, eyes staring at the ground beneath him and Ventus. A bandage still resting over his skin to help a new scar heal. 

“Yeah, no, I was wrong,” Ventus hauled his friend up as he started to slip back down to the concrete. “You’re hurt more than you told Aqua. I’ll tell her when she gets here.” 

Ventus sighed and shifted his arms around. He pulled Roxas’ left arm over his shoulder and kept one hand around his friend’s back, already starting to drag him towards the castle. Roxas didn’t seem entirely conscious, but as Ventus started walking, he tried to pick up his feet and walk with him.

Ventus kept his eyes on the doors of the castle, stepping up the stairs one at a time. Roxas’ head lolled around aimlessly next to him, as if he were still passed out. But if Ventus glanced over, he could see Roxas blinking and taking deep breaths, brows furrowed with a frown planted on his face.

He looked back towards the doors, already nearing the last step. “You feeling okay, besides that?”

“No…” 

That much probably should’ve been obvious. A concussion alone doesn’t feel good. Whatever else was bothering him didn’t help. 

“What’s wrong?”

“I hurt Vanitas…”

Ventus almost stopped in his tracks, hesitating to take the next step up. But he kept going. He let go of Roxas’ arm over his shoulder, letting the Nobody lean his whole weight into Ventus instead. He reached forward and pushed the doors open with one simple nudge. Such was the benefit of living in a magically-imbued castle.

“He’s fine, I’m sure. Don’t worry about him right now,” Ventus tried to reassure. But looking once again at Roxas, he could tell his words had little effect. 

“I can’t stop worryinaboudim...”

Roxas’ words were slurring again, but he wasn’t impossible to understand. Ventus kept dragging his body along the hallway and towards the staircases at the very back of the corridor. The clanks of Ventus’ armor echoed around them. The hall was dark with no practical light source. It was almost hard to see where the tiles ended and the staircase began.

“That’s kind of you to worry about him, really,” Ventus pulled Roxas a little more over his shoulder. “But he’s fine. You saw Aqua treating him, she said that whatever happened had passed.” 

“That’s not what I mean…” Roxas mumbled out. His shoes bumped each step as Ventus climbed the stairs. “I can’t stop thinking about it.”

The older of the two kept his silence. Perhaps he didn’t quite understand yet.

“I shouldn’t care as much as I do,” his eyes flicked across each step as they climbed. “He’s the one that tried to-”

Roxas’ breath hitched. That still haunted him. What happened on that beach, and what he’d almost done in Radiant Garden. Just trying to say anything about it pressed down on his heart and started rejuvenating a deep-rooted fear in him. Something he thought he’d gotten over when his heart sprung free from Sora’s and he was finally given a body of his own again. When he would no longer be confined to another person’s soul. 

Alas, that was an unfortunate lie. Vanitas had no regrets for his volatile actions against Roxas. He’d hardly issued an apology. 

“You don’t have to tell me, I know what he did,” Ventus kept talking, noting how much Roxas was struggling to speak. “And I’m sorry, I really am. I wish I’d known better then.” 

In a way, it was Ventus’ fault what happened. If he’d stopped Roxas from running off to Radiant Garden in the first place, he never would’ve ended up in the Realm of Darkness. If Ven and Sora had never fought Vanitas in the graveyard, he wouldn’t have been there to grab hold of Roxas’ body. And if he hadn’t been so weak all those years ago, Vanitas would never have…

The doors to the west wing were propped open and closed as Ven tugged his friend up the stairs. Ventus did most of the lifting, Roxas’ boots hardly attempting to step on each stair and scraping over the edges. It wasn’t helped by his armor, which was heavy enough on its own. 

A part of him wanted to tell Roxas to at least try to help make this easier. But another knew too well that he’d be asking too much. His friend had already taken a beating today, both physical and emotionally. Slamming his head into a broken chandelier and having been forced to relive dangerously painful memories was more than enough for one day. He deserved a reprieve, even if brief. 

Roxas’ room was lit from the gentle moon outside his window. Frost edged the glass and gave the room chills that he didn’t think possible, even if covered in his armor. 

Dragging his twin to the bed was easier said than done, with Roxas’ shoes scraping across the floor and his body slowly dozing off. Ventus shook him as he pulled, saying, “Don’t fall asleep yet.”

Roxas gave no verbal reply, but his head nodded, which was indication enough that he heard and understood Ven. 

He gently dumped Roxas onto the bed, letting him find his place before letting go entirely. Roxas leaned against the soft mattress, then practically fell into it. His eyes shut and he groaned.

“I’ll go get Aqua as soon as she gets home. For now, just rest,” Ven folded his arms over each other. Roxas lazily blinked twice, throwing a glance at Ven, before turning his eyes back to whatever else was on his mind.

Just a few days ago, he’d been so resolute in helping Ventus remember everything, even if it meant he’d suffered the consequences. But now he appeared utterly drained. It could’ve just been the awful beating he’d had from the Nobodies and whatever darkness possessed Vanitas. But that hopeful attitude seemed bleak now. 

Aqua had ordered that Vanitas be taken back home through anything but a dark portal. Ready as she was to give that same order to Roxas, she thought it better to keep the two separated. Vanitas’ prey had been Roxas during his previous outburst. If they couldn’t contain it a second time, with the Nobody in such a weak state now, there’d be no protecting him.

After he’d come back from his venture in past memories, Roxas only stayed conscious for a few minutes before he was falling over. Even Naminé’s safe return was not enough to move him back to full recovery. Rather when he saw his dear friend walk through the door of the mansion with Kairi and Xion by her side, he tripped on his own feet trying to run up to her.

Roxas was sent home, even if his method of travel was still risky at best. The only thing that made Aqua agree in the first place was when Ventus swore he wouldn’t let anything happen. 

But something had already happened. Whatever Roxas saw had much more drastic effects than anything before. He’d almost always been willing to share what hazy details he could remember from the dreams and the memories that he glimpsed. But this time, even when Ventus had asked him about it, Roxas didn’t say a thing. 

Ventus kept staring at his friend. He couldn’t keep to himself and finally spoke up:

“So what else happened?”

Roxas hardly moved, much less spoke.

“You’ve never been quiet about this before. Was it really that bad?”

Roxas kept to himself for a moment, but only a moment. As if pondering the words in his head before he dared to speak them.

“It’s nothing to do with the memories.”

Ventus blinked twice. He wasn’t expecting that answer. “Then what is it?”

“Vanitas tried to hurt me,” Roxas mumbled.

“Well...yes, he did.”

“But I’m not worried about myself at all.”

Ven’s eyes narrowed. 

“Why am I only worried about him?” Roxas’ fingers curled into his hand. “After everything that he did?”

“I don’t know…”

Roxas started to move again, trying to sit upright. His palms pressed against the mattress and he leaned backwards. Still shaky and tired, but he managed it all on his own.

“Is it...what I did for him?” He lifted up a palm and clutched at the front of his coat. “Or what he did to me?”

Ventus knew exactly what he meant. Had his and Vanitas’ union, albeit temporary, truly caused this kind of change? It could explain why Roxas seemed to get over it so fast, or even why he put up with Vanitas at all. It may even explain why Vanitas was suddenly so willing to follow him and Ventus around, or help them with anything. 

But the implications of such were harrowing to think of. Roxas was already tempered by his connection to Sora, and now this connection to Ventus. The boy has never truly been just himself. He’s always had bits and pieces of others in there, to influence his choices or pass along certain traits. Maybe even to store memories or keep pieces of a heart safe while it was still recovering. 

He’d hardly ever known what it is to be himself. The one thing he must’ve yearned for more than anything, yet bound from him by the cruel fetters of fate.

If it truly was that connection between him and Vanitas that was turning his decisions or guiding his choices, what would that mean for him and Ventus? The two must’ve shared a similar connection. How would that have-

Ventus shook his head. No, that’s not it. Roxas isn’t bound by other people like he used to be. He may still be Sora’s Nobody, but he has his own heart, his own body. He isn’t anyone besides himself. 

Ventus would’ve preferred to remember what was said of Roxas and Vanitas’ first meeting, on those dark shores. When Vanitas was drifting away and Roxas refused to let him go.

“I doubt it,” Ventus muttered. “You were there at his side before any of that happened.”

Roxas looked to his friend once, then back down at the floor beneath his boots.

“You didn’t care that it was Vanitas who was on that beach. You just wanted to keep him company, maybe even help him in whatever way you could,” Ven offered a smile. “You’re willing to put other people before your own needs. That’s just the kind of person you are.”

As much as he hoped the words would be of comfort to Roxas, Ven wasn’t entirely sure it worked. His twin kept staring at the ground, deep blue eyes staring at nothing but the dead air between them. 

Roxas took a deep breath in and let it out slowly, “Unless there’s-”

Before he could say another word, an armored hand landed on his left shoulder and pulled him away from his thoughts. Roxas looked up to meet Ven’s gaze, who looked a bit more frustrated than before.

“You’re still you, Roxas,” Ventus gave him a shake, pulling his fleeting thoughts out of whatever dark tangent they were going on. “Nothing is going to change that. What you did for Vanitas was your own choice. You could’ve let Terra take care of everything, and then we wouldn’t have Vanitas here at the castle with us.” 

Roxas kept staring, already recalling that day. The darkness had been tugging on his very soul. But as soon as he saw Vanitas’ disheveled body, the darkness pouring out of his shattered heart... Suddenly it didn’t matter that Roxas was about to turn into a Heartless. The only thing he cared about was to give any comfort he could to the dying boy.

“You chose to help Vanitas. And I know, it didn’t have much pay-off...but you saved his life. That was all you, Roxas. Nobody else.”

I did save him… That was a choice that I made. 

Roxas lowered his head, closing his eyes and taking another, much needed breath of air. As he exhaled, the smallest smirk appeared on his face. “Alright,” he mumbled. “True enough.”

Ventus felt relief flutter through his chest. He stepped away from Roxas, letting his friend have a little breathing room. 

Roxas looked again at Ven, but not at his friend’s face. Rather what he was wearing.

“...You have armor?” Roxas mumbled as he looked Ven up and down.

And just as he was regaining hope for Roxas’ wellbeing, Ven felt that hope shatter. Ventus stared at his friend, unsure of how to respond. He glanced down at his attire once, then back at Roxas’ baffled expression. “You KNOW I have armor.”

“I do?”

Ven’s shoulders drooped and his eyes narrowed. “Oh my-” He sighed in such an overly exasperated way. “Alright, I’m healing you myself.” 

#kingdom hearts #aar #roxas #ventus #ao3

[kimhargreeves]

Savages-Chop Top Sawyer

(Based on the movie: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 from 1986)

"Thank you for calling in, remember to call back anytime you'd like another request." Vanita or better known as Stretch said to the person on the other line before ending the call and putting a song from The Beatles, she sighed and saw her from the corner of my eye leaning back into her seat. "Damn it, (Y/N). Will you stop reading and do your job?" she said annoyed since I wasn't attending any calls and kept on reading the newspaper in my hands.

I just shrugged my shoulders and rested my combat boots up against the table. Stretch sighed in annoyance, came over to me and took news from me and pushed my feet down. "Really this again?" She asks when she read the bold letters up front.

13 Years since the Texas Massacre

I blew away the strands of hair that kept getting in my eyes so I could glare at her, "You know for a girl your age you should go out on dates or work better but you're here reading this." Stretch threw the newspaper onto the garbage can and made me attend the next phone call.

"Who is it?!" I snapped at whoever was calling. Some weird guy called in asking for a song so I put it on without saying anything else and ended the call which earned me a hard glare from Stretch. "Seriously I should have you fired but I won't cause I need help."

I roll my eyes and got up retrieving the newspaper again, "How can you not be intrigued by this news? It's been 13 years and they haven't found anything on this family. The Sawyers I think I heard someone say..anyway I've picked up every news article on them." My brown eyes continued to scan down and saw some images from the crime scene.

"Not to be mean but this is probably why you don't have friends."

"I don't need them..this is all I need." I said raising the newspaper up and seeing her shaking her head. "Okay, want me to stay tonight with you?" I ask admitting her that I haven't done much around here.

"That'd be nice." She says smiling a little and picking up the next call.

**************

I hummed to the song that was playing and saw Stretch talking to L.G about something not that important. Was Stretch even right about me? I mean I've spent most of my time searching more about the family who massacred innocents, does that make me crazy? I rubbed my eyes and sighed tiredly, when I opened back my eyes I saw that L.G had left and Stretch were nowhere to be seen. "Guys?" I got up from my seat and took my headphones off. I stepped out of the room and quietly began to walk when I heard a noise coming from the waiting room.

I poked my head out and my eyes widened when I saw a man seated on the couch. He was oddly dressed like a hippie,his skin pale as snow and with a coat hanger on his hand. I furrowed my eyebrows and tiled my head when he noticed me and got up excited.

"Oh boy! I-It's really you aren't ya, (Y/N). I listen to you every night along with my brothers, every single time! I-I was the guy who requested that song earlier, you see music is my life" He says showing the peace sign with his fingers and taking one step forward. I took one back and gulped. Oh shit did I even make him mad or something.

"I'd like to request something else."

"...We're actually closed right now.."

I whispered and saw his dark eyes throughout those round purple glasses he was wearing. I suddenly felt exposed and adjusted my oversized black band t-shirt and black shorts awkwardly and looked away, my heart beating faster but it wasn't because I was afraid was it?

"Umm but I can do that if you'd like!"

"Alright then!"

"So..what's your name?" I awkwardly said when he started following me to the studio. "Some people call me Bobby or Chop Top!" he said excited and started looking around the place. What an odd name. I peeked behind and saw him scratching his head and gleaming at the many vinyls. It's kind of adorable.

"Is this the one you want-" I held the vinyls record in both my hands when I was pressed against the wall and stared up at the odd man, "Ya know I always thought you were cute when I heard you on the radio, you look even cuter in person doll." I felt my entire burn up and quickly looked away from him and bit my lip nervously.

"T-Thank you I guess."

"A girl like you should be careful on her own ya know? Those maniacs might show up any time."

"You mean the Texas massacre?! I actually find them a bit fascinating." I admit to this stranger and saw him grin.

"What the hell?!" I heard Stretch say from behind us. I pushed the man away from me and walked closer to the woman in front of me looking horrified. "Stretch I know we're supposed to be closed but Bobby here wanted one last request for the night. He's a big fan of our work." The woman grabbed my shoulder without taking her eyes off Chop Top.

"Aha whatever you say. Sir we're closed if you want a request you'll have to wait for tomorrow now."

"Dang it my brother's and I really want this song..How about you two girls give me a tour around?" he says getting closer and Stretch makes me get behind her. Stretch begins giving him a tour or more like the thing's she has on the table and points at the exit sign behind him.

"And there's the exit."

He turns around and grins at the red sign, "E..X..I..T. Exit."

I look to my right and see Stretch already sweating for some reason and gives me a side glance before quickly paying her full attention at the guy. "Goodnight." She says so he'd get the memo to leave.

"Goodnight." He tells her back.

"Goodnight." Stretch says louder which he repeats almost making fun of her and making me bite my lip from laughing. "What's in here?" he says walking where we keep more vinyls. Stretch followed him and we both screamed when someone came running in with a chainsaw in hand and moving it around. I fell to the ground and saw the man wearing a face on his face! Suddenly I knew who it was when I also saw Chop Top cursing at the man wielding the chainsaw.

"Get that bitch Leatherface! Get that bitch!" he shouted angrily and started crying when Leatherface destroyed his black wig which reminded me a lot of the Beatles hairstyles. I stayed glued to the floor and stared at him

"You're.." I suddenly yelped when he met my eyes and started crawling towards me. I hurriedly backed away and hit the wall again, "A Sawyer. Damn right I am!" he grinned and held my shoulders tight. I began to giggle then to laugh in his face, which earned a strange look from him.

"You have no idea how much I've wanted to encounter any member of your family. Everyone called me crazy for thinking in such things but in reality ever since I heard the news when I was a teenager I was fascinated to say the least." Chop Top continued to stare at me and raised his hanger up and held it to my throat but I didn't flinch when he pressed it and drew a bit of blood.

"You're an odd one girly. I like it!" He exclaimed and gave me a quick peck on my lips and looked over at where his brother left and we continued hearing the roaring of the chainsaw and Stretch's screams. "You're buddy over there sure do loves to scream. I've never met a girl like you so I'll tell ya what, would ya like to come with me?" I smile and shrieked happily and took hold of his hand.

"Hold on before we go you gotta scream." He says helping me up my feet and I stare up at him confused on what he's talking about. "My family aren't gonna welcome you with open hands so I gotta sneak you in darling. You gotta scream and you'll pretend that you fainted and I'll take ya to mah home." I nod at his words.

I hear Leatherface coming down from above the stairs so I begin to run until Chop grabs hold of me as I screamed and eventually 'passed out'. "You got her Bubba?!" Chop says holding me tight and places me on his shoulder and I close my eyes shut. I don't hear anything but assumed the other man nodded. "Let's go then!" Chop holds me tight when he begins to run outside with Leatherface. He carefully places me in the back of the car and starts the engine when he entered the car. I open my eyes and when I do I see Stretch above the stairs looking terrified down at me and begins to run down the stairs as well. I hear her turn on the other cars engine and begins to follow the care I'm in. Well shit...

#the texas chainsaw massacre #leatherface #chop top x reader #chop top sawyer #cannibals #texas #horror #bill moseley

[daybreak-academy-fanfic]

Daybreak Academy: Chapter 56

New Student, Familiar Face

Summary: In which my dumb af ship from 2013 can once again set sail. Word Count: 1,674 First | Previous | Next ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆

There were going to be about 50 new First Year students this year- Ven did the headcount. Was it a bad turnout? It seemed like a low number to him, considering how large the school was. He couldn't even remember his student orientation to recall the amount of students there. But weren't all the students cherry picked from around Departure County? Maybe this count was right after all.

'She's not here.' Vanitas grumbled somewhere to the left of Ventus.

“She is.” Ven mumbled back, making a vague motion to the sound of Vanitas's voice. “She promised she would be.”

Yet, despite telling himself otherwise, Ven still couldn't see Sabrina in the crowd. Right now, the new First Years were taking their house tests en masse in the auditorium. When they were done, they were to give their tests to the headmasters -all five sitting on the stage itself at a very long table- and wait for the others to finish. Once everyone had their tests reviewed, each headmaster took turns in announcing who was a part of their house. It was a very nerve racking time; it almost rivaled the stress during finals.

Ventus had thought that choosing to hide out in the balcony seat would have helped him see Sabrina better. He had been quickly proven wrong in that regard. Sure, he could see everyone, but he couldn't see them clearly. From the back you couldn't tell who was male or female- you only got a very good look at the back of their multicolored haired heads. Sabrina's hair was a raven black. He's never forget that. Too bad she wasn't the only new student with black hair, though…

“There she is!” Ventus declared, almost a bit too loud, when he saw Sabrina head up on stage to hand her test in. It took all it had in Ven to not shout her name and wave over to her in hopes of getting her attention. But it was a massive relief in knowing that she was attending Daybreak Academy; he didn't have to call for her because she'd be on campus from now on. Maybe if the orientation finished quick enough, they could have lunch together.

Ven let out a sigh of relief as he relaxed now. Knowing that Sabrina was here led him to wait for the orientations to finish. He was so relieved that, when Invi stepped forward to announce the students coming into her house, Ventus almost didn't hear Sabrina's name among them. It took a solid minute for the realization to sink in, and when it did, Ven's heart nearly stopped.

He and Sabrina were not going to be in the same house. Okay, yeah, sure, it had been a one out of five shot. They wouldn't be sharing many classes, but they could still see each other after. It could still work. You know, just like it did with Ephemer and his other friends. Nothing to freak out about. It was just… disappointing. Yeah… Really disappointing…

The orientations finished up about 30 minutes after the house results were announced. Ven had snuck out just before the stream of new students came out of the auditorium. He waited at the front entrance for Sabrina to come out- idly passing time by watching the clouds roll by.

He only had half a second to register the happy exclamation of “Ven!” before being tackled from behind. A loud, undignified shriek escaped the boy's lips as both he and his tackler crashed into the ground. Ventus blinked for a moment, waiting for his senses to come back, before realizing who had now pinned him to the ground.

“Sabrina!” he rasped. “You… you're…!”

A wide smile stretched onto Sabrina's face. “Lemme guess,” she said, “I'm a huge surprise! Or the best thing you've ever seen! Or, or…!”

“You're crushing my ribs.”

“Oh.” was the small answer. “Sorry about that...” and she quickly got off of him soon after. She even helped him get back onto his feet.

“So now what?” the girl asked him. “Classes start tomorrow, right? So what do we do now?”

Ventus blinked. There was no stopping with this girl, huh?

“We could go get lunch.” he offered. A nervous laugh escaped the corner of his lips. “The cafeteria isn't that far from here.”

“Sounds great!” Sabrina agreed with a cheerful nod. Ven smiled and before he was able to tell her anything else, Sabrina quickly grabbed him by the hand and led them both to the cafeteria.

. . .

“I can't believe we won't be in the same house.” Sabrina pouted. “What a bummer.”

“Yeah...” Ventus agreed with a little nod. “It'll be a bit harder to get together, but not impossible, I don't think.”

“Will the schoolwork be the same?”

“Should be. I'd have to ask Brain or Lauriam about that.” After a short pause, Ven then let out a small sound of remembrance. “Oh!” he exclaimed, “That reminds me...”

Ventus reached down into his backpack and pulled out a three-ring binder filled with paper.

“I, uh, I wanted to give you some of the notes I made last year.” he nervously said to her. “We won't have the same teacher for a lot of classes because we're in different houses, but it should still help. I think.”

“Sweet!” Sabrina declared, taking the binder without a second thought. “Thanks Ven!”

The boy bashfully smiled while scratching the back of his neck as Sabrina poured through his notes. They weren't the best, but they would still work for studying. Ven watched her- he was quick to notice the faces she made as she tried to make sense of curriculum she had yet to learn. Her eyebrows were knit together and her nose was scrunched up, almost like a little rabbit.

“What was it like being adopted by rabbits?” Ven asked her- not at all realizing what he said before it came out of his mouth.

“Hmm?” the girl hummed. It took her a moment to realize what he was asking; when she did, she looked up at him with her nose even more scrunched up in disgust. “Ortensia's a cat. Oswald's the rabbit.”

“O-oh...” Ven stumbled, “I didn't mean...”

“'S okay.” Sabrina told him with a little wave of her hand. “I know what you're sayin.' It wasn't bad, honestly. Can't complain. They had a lot of money that they didn't know what to do with. Such as it is when you've got a multimillion billionaire to call a brother, and he's one of the slightly more generous ones. Or maybe he has a really guilty conscience? Old Ozzie was cut off from the money for years, so I've been told.”

Then Sabrina's face softened a little. She looked Ventus over with a curious eye before asking, “What about you? What's your family like?”

If it was possible, Ventus's face went from a bright red to a ghost-like white. “M-my family isn't special.” he sheepishly claimed, averting his eyes from her.  “My parents are nice. I've got some siblings, but it's not...”

“How many?”

“Huh?”

“How many siblings do you have?”

“I have… four.” Ven confessed. “Last year, just before I started going to school here, my mom had a pair of triplets. Sora, Roxas, and Xion. Roxas, he… he looks a lot like me. It's really weird. I haven't gone to see them in awhile though- I plan on doing it soon. I've kinda been waiting for Mom or Dad to give the okay. Gets kinda hectic raising three babies at once, or something.”

“And what about the other one?”

He didn't mean to, but Ventus flinched. “What do you mean?” he asked her. But Sabrina wasn't having it; giving him an impatient click of her tongue.

“You said you have four siblings,” she pointed out, “So what about the other one?”

“It's a long story.”

“I have time.”

But Ventus shook his head. “I can't tell you.” he told her in a quiet voice. “You'll never want to be my friend again if I did.”

Sabrina raised a bemused eyebrow at this. She's probably only known Ventus for a full day now and she had massive doubts that she would suddenly decide not to like him. Family was family- how bad could it really be? And, by golly, was she a stubborn one.

“Can I have a name, at least?” she asked him- she even put on her best puppy pout. Ventus made the mistake of looking at her for half a second and immediately gave in.

“Vanitas.”

Without wasting a second, Sabrina followed up with another question. “What house is Vanitas in?”

Ven shrugged as he looked back down at the ground. “He's, uh, he's in An… guis...” He paused, only know realizing what he had said. He looked up at Sabrina with wide, fearful eyes. “Oh no.”

“Oh yes.” the girl snickered. “So he's here, at Daybreak, and we're in the same house! That's so awesome! I can't wait to-”

“But you can't!” Ventus quickly told her; he almost leaped at her to take her by the shoulders, but just barely stopped himself in time. “Vanitas is… Vanitas is…!”

His new friend was giving him a weird look. “Vanitas is…?” she repeated. She even rolled her hand at him- a not very subtle hint that he just needed to spit it out and get it over with. Ventus once more averted his eyes.

“You'll hate me.” he mumbled. Ven's fist started to clench as he thought about Vanitas. He couldn't tell Sabrina about his brother. She wouldn't understand. She just wouldn't…

Ven jumped when he felt Sabrina calmly place her hands into his. He looked up at her to be met with an unreadable expression. His heart leaped into his throat in realizing how much older she looked when she wanted to be dead serious; it was like the ten year old had switched bodies with a thirty year old instead.

“Ven,” Sabrina then said, her voice quiet and still, “Is Vanitas even real?”

#daybreak academy #chapter 56 #kingdom hearts fanfiction #Ventus #Vanitas #Sabrina #Season 1

[luvleekaotix-imagines]

Emotional support

a/n: thanks to @paopuparfait for letting me borrow their college au. i haven’t had the greatest time this past week, but i’ve been reminded that the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb and it’s comforting. 

heres a slice of life fic where a few characters just do their best to cheer you up and give you special treatment

“Hey—are you okay?” Aqua was probably your most perceptive friend. As soon as she saw you, she knew something was up.

You were doing your best to hide your negative feelings, but obviously, it wasn’t going well. The past few days had been trying and you didn’t want to burden your friends with your pessimism. They were always there for you and it wasn’t fair of you to always dump it on them, so you though to try and hide it this time. 

You were trying to bury it deep.

Aqua put her hands your shoulders and gave you a once over, taking in your pursed lips and effort to avoid her gaze. She offered a kind smile and put her arms around you. “It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to. I’m here for you though, you know?” She moved her hand to take yours. “Wanna get a coffee before class? My treat!”

You wanted to say ‘yes’, but—

You gently pulled your hand away from Aqua. “Sorry. I think I’m just gonna—” You gestured vaguely behind you. “Thanks anyway. I’ll—see you later.” If you spent time around her, you’d want to break down. If you were alone you’d be able to hold it together. Just for today, you’d keep everyone at arm's length.

Aqua watched you walk away, merging into the crowded halls and she frowned. Were you really going to be okay? She hummed before taking out her phone and starting a group message. ‘Hey, do you guys mind? I think a certain someone needs some support today.’

During the lectures, you were out of it. You couldn’t really focus. Emotionally you were fucked, mentally you were wrecked. You had no energy to even try to give the professor at the front any attention. You sat way at the back, hidden by others in front of you and just fucked around on your phone, trying not to cry. Why were you even on campus? Maybe it would better to go home.

Throughout the class, your group chat pinged. It was just the usual shit though; complaints about classes, letting everyone know when they had practice on if anyone wanted to go watch, that sort of thing. There were also some memes being sent that managed to wrangle a few smiles from you. Though you didn’t say anything, you reacted to a few of them.

When the lecture ended you left as soon as possible, ducking out before anyone else. When you turned a corner, you heard someone shout your name. Before you could properly turn around, you were suddenly engulfed in a tight hug. “Hey!” It was Sora beaming down at you. “I was looking for you.”

Oh, he was glowing today. Not that he wasn’t usually like the sun, but Sora’s cheery attitude was in stark contrast to how you were feeling. You didn’t want to bring him down any. “Hey...  Don’t you have class soon?” You asked kind of dismissively.

“We’re always late.” Vanitas droned from somewhere behind Sora. “Open wide.” Something was held in front of your mouth and you were so confused you just obeyed. A soft cookie was gently shoved in and you clamped down on it to hold it in place; your arms were still kind of captive in Sora’s hug.

You couldn’t say anything with a mouth full of cookie, so you just narrowed your eyes at Vanitas. He smirked and ruffled your hair, taking advantage of your helplessness. Then he gave you a casual salute before wandering off, disappearing as suddenly as he showed up. It wasn’t like you never interacted with Vanitas, but it was always so—abrupt.

Sora finally let you go. “You know that was meant to be my cookie.”

You reached up to your mouth, split the baked treat in half and held out the free half. Sora leaned forward so you should put it in his mouth. You hadn’t eaten anything yet, so you were begrudgingly a little happier for it.

“You okay? You’re pretty quiet.” The brunette subtly offered for you to open up if you wanted to. When you didn’t give a response, Sora changed the subject. “You gonna go see Riku’s match today?”

Oh right, the boxing match. You thought of the crowd and the likely presence of Riku’s cheering fans and you cringed. As much as you liked to support the silverette, you really didn’t have the energy to deal with it all. “Um—I might just skip it this time. He’ll be okay without me there.”

“Aw, I don’t know about that.” Sora grinned. “He loves it when you’re there. It gives him an excuse to ham it up.”

You couldn’t help yourself, you scoffed with a roll of your eyes. “Like he needs an excuse.” The sarcastic response was out of your mouth before you could stop it. You quickly pursed your lips. “Don’t tell him I said that.”

Sora was cackling and you smiled for a split second before you became kind of melancholy again. If Sora saw it, he didn’t say anything. “Okay, I gotta run or I’ll really be late.” He gave you a quick hug and kiss on the cheek before dashing down the hall. “Bye!”

Once your radiant friend was out of sight, you felt miserable again. Maybe you’d just skip all your classes for the day. You paced back and forth, being indecisive, before heading towards the library. You’d feel guilty for ditching all your lectures and just going home. Maybe you could get some research done instead?

You were passing by one of the art studios on your way to the other block when someone called out your name. It was Naminé waving you over. When you approached the room, you could see Kairi and Xion inside too. Before you knew it, you were pulled inside.

“Are you ditching too?” Xion asked and threw something in your direction. You just managed to catch it, fumbling with it a few times before getting a grip on it; a small chocolate bar—of course it was. She always had snacks with her. It was likely because she was constantly having to feed her two mooching childhood friends, Roxas and Axel.

“Mm.” You made a non-committal noise in response to Xion’s question and just unwrapped the confectionary to shove into your mouth. If you had something in there, you wouldn’t have to talk.

“I don’t think anyone really wants to be here today.” Kairi wandered over to you and planted a greeting kiss on your cheek. “You’re looking cute. I don’t think I’ve seen you wear that outfit in a while.” The redhead looked up you up and down and beamed. “It’s really nice!”

“Its—it’s my hobo outfit.” You stated bluntly, around a mouthful of chocolate. “What are you on?”

She giggled. “You could dress like a hobo and still look good!” Kairi was always so kind and sweet. You put zero effort into how you looked in the morning, there was no way you could have looked any good. Right? Kairi was the one who always looked good, even if she complained that she was hobo-ing it.

“Here, I made this for you.” Naminé suddenly held something out. It was in a cute little handmade paper bag with your name handwritten in a neat and stylish font. “I hope you like it.” The blond was always self-conscious when it came to her creations, but you were always blown away by her talent. They were so good you had to start offering to pay her for the gifts she randomly gave you because they were so amazing.

“Oh geez.” You reached in to take out an awesome hand decorated phone case. It was totally in your aesthetic style and colours, with little charms and icons of things that you really liked. “Naminé, how much do you want for this?”

She waved a hand with a small blush on her face. “Don’t worry about it! I’m just glad you like it.” Her sweet and earnest smile made your heart flutter with emotion and you gave her a hug which was returned with no hesitation. “I know you already know this, but if you ever need to talk to anyone, we’re here for you.” When you didn’t respond, Naminé took your hands in hers and smiled. “Just keep it in mind, okay?”

Xion and Kairi sounded in agreement. “You can come to us any time! We’re a call away.” The redhead offered.

Your lip quivered and you wanted to open up, but quickly shoved your emotions back again. “Thanks, guys.”

You quickly left after that, the girls giving you a hug and kiss each. Honestly, you felt like you were the luckiest person in the world for having such supportive friends—maybe it was more like you were one big misfit family. You were really down in the dumps and you really appreciated everyone’s support.

Since you weren’t going to watch Riku’s match, you thought to see him to quickly wish him luck and then go home after to sleep off the rest of the day. You changed your phone case on the way to the other building and quickly checked the group chat to see where everyone was at.

Not many people usually went to watch Riku practice. All his fans knew he preferred to focus on his own. However, occasionally some of your friends liked to turn up to cause trouble. You could hear the voices before you entered the gym, but when you walked in there was a cheer.

“Here’s someone who could really give it to ya!” Axel waved you over to the bench. He and Terra were in gym wear, either on their way to their own practices or intending to work out, but choosing to annoy their friend instead.

Terra gestured for you to sit beside him. “Come join us, we’re heckling him so he gets used to the pressure.” He was like an older brother to Riku and while your first impressions of Terra was that he was serious and reserved, after a while you realised he was also a lot of fun.

Meanwhile, Riku seemed out of breath and sweaty from punching the sandbags. When he saw you, he beamed. “Hey.” He ignored the other two, taking off his gloves to pelt them at Axel and Terra who protested. “Don’t you have class?” When you didn’t reply, he raised a brow. “Not feelin’ it?”

You shook your head. “I just came in to say I’ll be missing your match. I’m really not—well, so I’m gonna go home and sleep for the rest of the day.” You felt bad admitting that you’d rather sleep over going to support your friend.

You expected Riku to give you a disappointed look, but he simply reached for a towel nearby to wipe the sweat off his face before planting a kiss on your forehead. “Don’t worry about it, it’s not an important match anyway.” He grinned. “If want to, we can grab dinner later and I can tell you all about my win.”

“Listen to him—so confident.” Terra quickly interjected. “You shouldn’t get such a big head or else it’ll be a massive target during your fight.” The silverette made a comment about how funny it was that Terra was talking about ego, but the brunette brushed it off. Terra instead put an arm around your shoulders as you sat beside him. “Did you need a ride home? I’m gonna leave after we finish annoying Riku.”

You shook your head and leaned on his shoulder. “No. I’ll get home on my own, thanks.” You also knew that Terra lived in the opposite direction to you, so there was no way you’d make him go out of his way.

Terra planted a kiss on your head. “I’m no good at talking, but if you want me to intimidate someone, I can do it.” He offered and you had to laugh. At least he was admitting that he was shitty at talking through issues. Talking was more of an Aqua thing. Terra smiled when he saw you lighten up for a second. He always felt bad when he hovered around you, struggling to find the right thing to say when you were feeling bad. When he got it right, it felt good.

“Wait, I want in on this intimidation thing.” Axel leaned in. “I can offer some firey support. Maybe some ice cream after.” He gave you a mischievous grin with a spark in his eye. To be honest you had no doubt that if you asked for someone to be intimidated, Axel would be all over that shit. You didn’t know too much about Axel’s past, but sometimes when things got rough, you could see something flicker in the jokester's expression. He was sweet to you, but you knew he wasn’t that way to everyone.

“Hang on, is someone bothering you?” Riku asked seriously, just in case. At times, he was definitely the personification of ‘where do they live, I just wanna talk’. He would never butt into anyone’s business for the heck of it, but when a friend needed it, he was there. You couldn’t count the number of times you’ve asked Riku to sit by you to help divert the ill intentions of others; you were very grateful for it.

“You guys are always so eager to fight.” You rolled your eyes. “Not everything can be solved with fists—or fire.” You added quickly as you saw Axel open his mouth. “I’m just—feeling bad.” Miserable, actually. “I go home and rest and hopefully I’ll bounce back tomorrow.”

The guys looked at each other and conceded. Terra kept his arm around your shoulder, “Alright, fine. I’m gonna drive you home though—no buts.” He covered your mouth with his hand before you could protest. You made a sound of disapproval, but the brunette ignored you.

The guys continued to argue about something inane, but you felt maybe they were acting out to try and cheer you up. Maybe staying away from your friends wasn’t the right thing to do. Being around them actually lifted your spirits a little. Sure it hadn’t improved much, but it certainly wasn’t worse. When you got home later, you’d go to sleep and hopefully wake up with a better outlook.

Although, you guessed even if you didn’t, you’d be able to lean on your friends for some support.

#kingdom hearts #kh #kingdom hearts imagines #kh imagines #reader insert #aqua #aqua x reader #sora #sora x reader #vanitas #vanitas x reader #xion #xion x reader #kairi #kairi x reader #namine #namine x reader #riku #riku x reader #axel #axel x reader #terra #terra x reader

[mastrechef]

This idea has been stewing in my mind for a while after a discussion my sister and I had about some of the more outrageous Kingdom Hearts theories. I finally decided to just go ahead and write it. I’m still fleshing things out as I’m currently rereading Otherland by Tad Williams, which this idea borrows heavily from (if you’ve never read it, I highly recommend it). I figured if I was going to take the time to write it, I might as well do it justice.

The moon shone brightly as he framed it with his fingers. It was nostalgic standing amongst the towering buildings and the myriad of glittering lights reflecting off rain drenched metal. Familiar streets snaked off in every direction in an intricate web, desolate and empty when in his memory they were always packed with life, no matter the time. This was a place he had once considered home. That was a lifetime ago. More than a lifetime it seemed some days.

"A far-off memory that’s like a scattered dream, isn’t that right?" he said to himself.

He shaped his hands into a heart as he held them up against the brilliant moon. The thing that started it all and the end goal everyone was charging towards. Kingdom Hearts.

Described as the collective heart of all worlds and all people, it was coveted by those who sought greatness. There were so many stories built around it, tales of immense power and wisdom granted to any who managed to claim it. Yet did anyone truly understand what that entailed?

He doubted it. The truth of Kingdom Hearts was such an elusive thing, something that defied imagination. As of yet no one had come close to learning that truth, nor to obtaining the true Kingdom Hearts.

From behind him, he could just make out the sound of a dark corridor opening over the gusting wind. Turning to look, a familiar figure stepped out to join him on the rooftop.

“So you finally decided to show your face again.”

“Luxu,” he exclaimed, dramatically clutching at his chest as though in pain. “I’m heartbroken you aren’t happier to see me.”

“As if!” scoffed his most faithful apprentice. “Maybe I would have been if you’d shown up in time for the reunion. Man, Aced is as hot-headed as ever and the others aren’t much better.”

The Master just smiled privately to himself. Luxu could deflect all he wanted, but they both knew his indifference to be false. There was no hiding the relieved glint in his eyes and the slight softening of his expression. For all that he acted rather laid back these days, it was different when he felt it in truth. He had been waiting a long time for this moment.

The Master was absolutely tickled that someone actually missed him.

Time was such a nebulous concept to someone like him, who drifted seamlessly between past, present, and future. He had known his students long before he ever met them and even after all this time it felt as though it was only yesterday that they had parted ways. Yet for them, it had been far longer. He wondered how the others would react to finally seeing him again.

“How'd the kid get here of all places?”

Luxu’s question broke him from his musing. He tucked his hands behind his back as he explained. “His little tumble down the rabbit hole from misusing the power of waking was interrupted. Someone was waiting for him and stepped in to give him a hand.”

“Someone from the outside?”

“Bingo! You're right on the money. Someone sent a proxy here with only the instructions to 'save Sora.'”

“Ha! Good luck with that. The kid’s pretty determined to do himself in.”

“I’m not too concerned,” he said with nonchalance. “But better to keep an eye out. Can’t have anyone getting impatient and moving before the time is right.”

…

Sora had been wandering for some time, but he couldn’t make heads or tails of the twisting streets of this strange city. No matter which way he went, he inevitably ended up back where he started in front of the building emblazoned with “104” in glowing red lights. He had woken up here after his rather disheartening defeat at the hands of Yozora. Wherever here was, it was the same place that they had fought in, although Sora had caught only the barest glimpse during the fight.

Since coming to in this lifeless city that was like a cold facsimile of San Fransokyo, Sora had encountered Yozora no less than three times. Each time Yozora has no recollection of their previous interactions, and each time they fought. Sora had not yet been able to beat him. It made him think of Riku, and of a childhood spent chasing after his best friend, who was always faster, always stronger.

Letting out a gusty sigh, he found a nearby park bench and sprawled across it, tilting his head back to gaze up into the unfamiliar night sky. “I wonder how they’re doing… Riku, Kairi, and the others…”

He grimaced as a pulse of not-quite-pain pulsed through his chest. Even before the final clash with Xehanort, he’d been feeling a phantom ache in his heart that had only worsened as he used the power of waking to save everyone from that horrible first confrontation with the Xehanort-possessed Terra. Sora may not be the smartest, but he was more perceptive than most people gave him credit for, at least when it came to matters of the heart, so he suspected that he knew the cause.

There were few things in his life that Sora had regrets about, but helping someone in need would never be one. Even if it was to his detriment. Ventus had needed a place to heal and Sora had happily offered his assistance. Of course, he didn’t actually remember that, but didn’t make the sentiment any less truthful. However, ever since waking Ventus, he’d had this lingering feeling of being hollowed out, like a piece of his own heart had broken off when Ventus left.

Sora would have been more surprised if he hadn’t felt any different. After all, Ventus had been with him for more than ten years.

By the end of the final battle he could feel the fragility of his heart and realized the truth in the younger Xehanort’s warnings. He really had overstepped his limits. The decision to go after Kairi was an easy one, if a little selfish. If he was already past the point of no return, the least he could do was make sure everyone else was safe first.

Sora hoped that Riku and Kairi would forgive him and that they didn’t blame themselves for his disappearance.

Echoing footsteps startled him into awareness. It seemed Yozora was back, since no one else ever showed up here. Getting to his feet, Sora turned to meet those eerie heterochromatic eyes. “Hello again, Yozora.”

“You know me?” Yozora asked, just as every time before. “Who are you?”

“I’m Sora, remember? We’ve met before.” He didn’t really know why he kept trying. So far, nothing has worked to spark any recognition.

“Sora? You’re Sora?” That same steely-eyed look of determination returned, that same look he always got as soon as he learned Sora’s name. Sora mentally prepared himself to fight once more, tuning out the rest of the repeated conversation.

Yozora drew his weapons and Sora made one last plea to resolve things peacefully, but the other was not deterred. Resigned, Sora summoned his keyblade.

“Time to end this.”

Having seen it multiple times now, Sora was ready for the lasers and dodged out of the way, regretful that he was out of practice with barrier magic. It would really be helpful right now. He kept bobbing and weaving, waiting for the slightest break in the relentless assault. There! With a yell, he rushed Yozora, putting the full force of his formidable strength into his swing. Yozora was knocked back, but it didn’t faze him for long. His opponent started teleporting, trying to catch him off guard, throwing around more lasers and appearing out of nowhere to engage him directly. Sora did his best to dodge and deflect as many attacks as he could, but Yozora was fast—faster than anyone he’d fought before.

He stumbled as a beam of energy grazed his side in a flash of white hot agony. Already, he felt fatigued and he hadn’t even been fighting for more than a few minutes. Gritting his teeth through the pain, Sora waited for another opening and charged Yozora again, his hits striking true.

It wasn’t enough. Yozora’s aggression only heightened, as did the intensity of his attacks. Everything became a blur. Between the pain and the exhaustion, Sora simply couldn’t keep up. For the fifth time, Yozora struck him down.

“Not again,” he groaned weakly. How was this guy so strong?

“Sorry, but I don’t lose.”

Sora was sick of this pattern. Nothing ever changed. Was this all just a dream he couldn’t wake up from? Is any of this for real or not? He didn’t know. None of this... makes sense to me. His thoughts trailed off as he once again succumbed to the encroaching darkness.

Some random side notes: I’m still on the fence about whether or not the Master of Masters is actually a villain or more of a Dumbledore-esk character, but he’s definitely going to come off as more of a villain in this.

As for Sora, I’m going to be playing around with his character a little bit. There’s nothing necessarily wrong with having a character who doesn’t change, but I still found it vaguely annoying that in KHIII he still acted like the same 14yo kid he was is KHI.

I do plan to bring Vanitas into this because I think he’s interesting and the way his fight in KHIII ended felt kind of unresolved.

Also, it seems that in cannon very little time passes between KHII and KHIII, which I find a little strange, so I may fudge the timeline a bit, though it’s not very explicit.

I think I’ll try to keep up with this in between my other writing. And maybe work on some more FFXV stuff. Maybe. Depends on if I have any actually good ideas.

#kingdom hearts #post-kingdom hearts iii #ficlet #master of masters #luxu #sora #yozora #otherland fusion

[complicatedandstained]

The Other Day at Hot Topic: Something Pretty

“Find something pretty for me, Roxas?”

Roxas recognizes the voice instantly, which would be less embarrassing if the sound of it didn’t resonate in his ear like a musician hitting a note just right, or if it didn’t turn his stomach into something like grape jelly.

Kneeling on the floor of Hot Topic, Roxas sits beside an open plastic display case of piercings, intimately acquainting himself with products he’s never given a second glance before, as he tries to remember Aqua’s instructions on what goes next to or in front of what, and on which display.

Which is to say that he does not remember.

She had promised to answer any questions he had, and then promptly left on her fifteen-minute break.

Despite the excitement with Vanitas, it’s still pretty early in the morning, and with his fatigue catching up, it takes Roxas a moment to cobble together his five-star response. “Axel, hey.”

Setting a short stack of neon colored plastic balls on metal rings back in the box, and internally telling his stomach to chill the fuck out already, Roxas glances up.

It is a huge mistake. His eyes have to climb a pair of metallic gold jeans, hugging calf and thigh muscles, before they can skim the hard lines beneath a black V-neck, pass over pale, sun freckled skin, and settle on the shock of loose, unstyled red spikes and amused green eyes.

So, he didn’t sleep off that crush thing, like, at all, then.   

“Putting out some new ear thing-a-ma-jigs,” Roxas explains, lifting one to get the jade gaze off of him before something in his chest decides to implode.

“Well…” Axel leans forward, the metallic denim flashing in Roxas’ peripheral. “Actually.”

Roxas is pretty sure no one has a right to look that damn good in a pair of pants. You know, legally speaking.

Axel tilts the piercing in Roxas’ hand toward him with his fingertips. “That’s a tongue thing-a-ma-jig,” he smirks lightly, “but I appreciate your enthusiasm.”

Roxas fights with a smirk of his own. “Shut up, I’ve had a rough morning.” He can’t resist sticking out his own tongue. Does Axel have to be good at everything? “Know-it-all.”

Axel’s smile brightens. He must bleach it. “It’s literally my only job.”

Roxas laughs and returns to rooting through the box, pulling out another slip of cardboard and plastic that had caught his eye earlier and setting it in Axel’s palm. “There.”

“Yes, good. Plugs,” Axel teases as he flutters the package in front of Roxas’ eyes. “These are for ears.”

“No, I mean,” Roxas’ brow furrows, and he turns his attention back to the box, “ah, fuck it.”

But Axel doesn’t appear to be going anywhere. “Mean what, Roxas?” his needling lilt would be grating, Roxas decides, if it didn’t seem to serve as a thin paper wrapping actual concern.

“I thought you’d…” Roxas looks up, you know, like an idiot, and gets stuck again on curious green eyes, until the next words come out more a mumble, “maybe like those.”  

“Oh.” Axel leans back on his heels, twisting the packaging between his fingers and drawing it up to examine. “Shit. Yeah?”

Roxas rubs at the checkered cuff along his wrist, offers a half smile. The plugs were black, like Axel’s own, with a mandala cut out revealing a whirl of purple, green, and pale yellow. “They’re little stained-glass windows.”

Axel runs his thumb across the plastic. “How about that?” he muses softly, scarlet brows rising.

“It’s dumb.” Roxas’ face feels stretched, sunburnt, his thumb fumbles at the joint of his glasses. “I just liked them, and I thought—”

“I’ve always liked stained glass windows.”

Roxas shuts his eyes. “You’re just saying that.”

“Nah,” Axel waves off Roxas’ second-guessing. “I’ve never seen anything like these, and I’ve seen a million of ‘em.”

“Yeah?” Roxas shifts purposelessly through the befuddling contents of the box, unwilling to look up in case his flush has burnt through the golden tan the islands gift him when he’s home too long.

“Yeah.” A toe prods at Roxas’ side until Roxas swipes at Axel’s boot, grinning up at him in spite of himself. “Thank you, Roxas.”             

Chastising himself as he realizes his temperature rises ten degrees every time Axel drops the hard R in his name, Roxas returns to his work, nods. One shoulder lifts. “Sure.”

In his peripheral, another mirage-like shimmer of gold as Axel leans forward like he’s got something clever to say, and then decides against it. “Hey, if you’re doing okay, I gotta,” Axel fingers the silver hoops lining his helix and winces, “go be responsible.”

“Oh,” Roxas blurts, before he can stop himself. “Right, yeah.” He shrugs. Fistfuls of piercings occupy both hands, and a couple drift to the floor. “Do that.”  

“Don’t miss me too much.” Axel chuckles. “I’ll be right back.”

Roxas’ shoulder lifts again and he misses the frown he earns in response.

Axel takes a few steps forward, pauses, doubles back.

“You know.” Axel halts, just a step past the blonde on the floor now, facing the opposite direction. Nostalgia thickens his voice, as he raises the plugs to eye level again. “When I was younger my grandma used to drag me to church every once in a while, trying to save my little heathen soul.”

Confused but intrigued, Roxas stills, cringes a bit.

“And Grandma wasn’t fucking around…”

Roxas snorts and sees a grin pull at Axel’s lip as the redhead turns to bear witness to the sound.

“…Went to this big-ass Gothic cathedral in the heart of Radiant Garden.”

Roxas lifts his chin to see Axel’s sweeping gesture, up and toward the ceiling, as if his spindly fingers could paint pillars in the aisles of Hot Topic.

“And that was a brand-new word for me. Soul. That’s how hedonistic my parents were.” Axel’s fingers swish fondly, and Roxas has a sudden desire to know what kind of people had resulted in this.

“And I was a literal sort of kid, so sitting in that rock-hard pew, staring up, I kinda always figured souls must look something like those huge stained-glass windows, y’know? Mosaics of color and light, pictures of people and things that really mattered…Sometimes beautiful, sometimes all clouded up, sometimes blinding.”

Roxas’ throat dries. He can almost see them himself, a million kaleidoscopic crystals of light weaving together.

Words seem insufficient—unnecessary. He nods.

Axel looks a bit sheepish, unleashing words Roxas gets a sense he’s never said before. Rubbing at his shoulder, the underside of each forearm reveals a tattoo, black V’s blossoming into single, fully colored tongues of flame pausing a few inches before wrist and elbow. Roxas imagines Axel’s window might look like that. Sharp scarlet, electric orange, soft yellow: fiery, expressive, bright, and just a little dangerous.  

“I used to try and draw them,” Axel admits, “way back when, but I could never quite…” he grasps at the air like he’s trying to catch fog, the black leather cords around his wrist slipping down. He matches his eyes to Roxas’ again, but once more the words don’t come. Axel shakes off the memory. It seems to evaporate from his expression like smoke from a shaken match and the wry smile returns, as he turns away. “Anyway,” Axel says. “Bet yours would be pretty, all that gold in the sunshine.”  

With this final swordthrust through Roxas’ crushing heart, Axel picks his way around Roxas’ set up and saunters toward the back room where Vanitas is hiding out, blue eyes trailing after him.

“Yours too,” Roxas murmurs lamely, but if Axel hears him, he doesn’t react.

*          *

Axel wonders dimly what it is about Roxas that makes him feel guilty every time he leaves his side. Thoughts of crumbling white pillars and an ocean blue window with sand golden ridges spiral in Axel’s head as he pockets the plugs he’ll buy later and shifts the door marked ‘Staff Only’ open, offering it his usual grin for the sake of irony.

Axel finds Vanitas sitting at the desk in the back, beside a computer and a set of security monitors. He has his chin resting on his arms, his headphones hugging his neck and his eyes straight on Roxas in a security frame. He’s watching Axel’s new friend layering packages of piercings on a display shelf, a step off from where Axel had just been standing himself. In other words, playing I Spy: Hot Topic Edition.

And yeah, sure, Roxas is pretty fucking adorable, but that’s not exactly an excuse.

“Slacking off again, V?” Axel teases. He can feel the teeth behind his words, sharper than the ones he jabs at Demyx’s lazy bones.

Only a flicker of Vanitas’ eyes acknowledge Axel’s presence.

“Overcompensating again, Ax?”

Axel wonders if Vanitas is referring to the silent conversation he’d been snooping on, or Axel’s metallic gold pants.

Probably the pants.

Axel can feel his mouth drop into a scowl before his lazy smirk reasserts its dominance. “No need,” he purrs, pocketing his hands and striding right up behind the prickly douchebag. “Break’s over. Out.”

Vanitas is not one to hide his scowls. “Technically, I have more right to be back here than you do.” He relinquishes the chair anyway.

Axel sinks into black pleather, spinning around to face the monitor, fatigued at the prospect of fast-forwarding through hour long segments of Hot Topic employees unloading boxes at paces that would put sloths to shame. “Technically, you should have been fired by now.”

Vanitas shrugs.

If Vanitas were smart, he’d leave it at that and get to work. Axel won’t be awarding him a scholarship any time soon. He can feel the shadow lingering just past his shoulder, watching him load the security footage.

“You probably don’t want to watch that,” Vanitas sings, too fucking close to his ear, and Axel snaps the chair back around sharply.

Axel’s assessing glare must chill even Vanitas’ soul, because the guy unconsciously runs knuckles over the glossy blazer buttons above his abdomen and backs off a couple steps.

“Why?”

Vanitas regroups, sneering at his informational upperhand, and gestures to the blonde bedhead still shifting around on-screen, trying to reattach a plastic door to the piercing display case that he likely has no idea was already broken to begin with.

“Yeah, okay, sure.”

Roxas is sweeter than a slice of strawberry shortcake with cream, Xigbar complains in Axel’s head.

Vanitas flutters a hand over his heart, facial features and voice softening eerily as he tries to feign innocence, “Wouldn’t want anything to come between you and your precious new bestie.” Vanitas chuckles, flipping up a palm in consideration. “I mean, aside from the obvious.”

Axel has too much pride to ask what the fuck that’s supposed to mean.

Scoffing, Axel continues booting up the program on the computer, waving Vanitas in the direction of the salesfloor. “If you’re not going to tell me what you did, get lost.”

If something had happened, Roxas would have said so. Right?   

But as much as Axel wants to believe Vanitas is spouting absolute bullshit, the voice of experience is tying Eagle Scout level knots in his stomach.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Vanitas takes up a fully loaded rack of hanging clothes, (maybe he really had been working?) and rolls it out of the cluttered backroom and onto the floor.

Axel mentally runs through his conversation with Roxas again, chastising himself for oversharing, though Roxas hadn’t seemed to mind, had almost seemed to get it, even.

Nothing weird from Roxas, though, other than the new hipster vibes his thick rimmed glasses and khaki pants had given him. That, and his, frankly tragic, lack of knowledge about tongue piercings.

Shut up, I’ve had a rough morning. The Roxas in Axel’s head smirks and parts pouty pink lips to stick out a pretty pink tongue. Axel chides himself for zeroing in on that, but shit.

Shit.

Axel adjusts the settings on the security program and hesitates only a heartbeat before pressing play.  

#kingdom hearts #roxas #axel #vanitas #organization xiii #akuroku #hot topic au #my writing

[paybackraid]

Who Am I

Summary: After all is said and done, Sora isn’t sure who he is anymore. 

Words: 2266

Warnings: Character death implied

So I wrote and posted this to FFN and ao3 about... four months ago???? ffn got like no traffic but ao3 got some, so I thought I’d try here. It’s........... emotional? I guess. Sora needs more attention and love. The ending can be read as Sokai if you really want to, but that wasn’t the intention. 

-----

He had been accused of having a lot of people in his heart. And he… supposed that made sense. He knew about Roxas, at least. Sort of. He knew about Ven, but in an offhand way that he didn’t really remember. 

There were more, apparently, but he didn’t know about them. 

He didn’t mind them. At all. He pretended that they were hurting (they were) and he had been tasked the all-important mission of keeping them safe (he was). So he guarded his heart and protected these people who had made a home inside him. He didn’t mind, because they were his friends. And Sora was the way that he was, so Sora would do anything for his friends. 

Then, he and Aqua went to the Land of Departure. And there was Ven, sitting on a throne, still sleeping his days away. Sora had never seen him, had never seen the body that went with the heart in his own, and he was startled by how much this body looked like his Other. 

But he didn’t have time to worry about that, because Vanitas showed up and wanted to hurt Ven, and Sora was the way that he was and would do anything for his friends. 

Then, in the same moment that Aqua was about to be killed by Vanitas, Sora felt his heart pounding, as the heart he normally forgot about stirred. 

He looked inside himself, and woke up Ventus.

He wouldn’t tell Ventus, wouldn’t even tell Donald and Goofy, but the place where Ven was hidden inside his heart felt hollow, watching Ven wake up and fling himself at Vanitas so powerfully that Aqua’s Barrier magic shattered. Sora really didn’t even notice it until they were in Master Yen Sid’s Tower, walking up the flight of stairs to join Riku and Kairi and Lea. 

Then, to ignore the feeling of great loss encompassing his heart, he took off into a run and booked it up the stairs. Being active kept his mind from wandering to dark things, like what was going to be in Ven’s place in his heart. 

Ven took off after him. It wasn’t a race, because Ven was still wobbly and slightly atrophied after ten years of sleep. Or, if it was, Sora won by like a mile. 

Then Aqua came up behind them, all long limbed, not really racing with them either, not really running at all. She laughed and put a hand on Sora’s head and ruffled his hair, the same way she had ruffled Ven’s hair after he woke up and saved her, with so much affection clouding her eyes, and she said, “it always amazes me just how much you’re like Ven.”

He had smiled at her and laughed, in the cheerful, lackadaisical way that Soras do, and then he had shared a look with Ven, who was smiling too. 

The smile didn’t reach Sora’s eyes, though. He didn’t mind being like Ven. He didn’t know a lot about Ven, just had heard stories from His Majesty King Mickey and one or two from Lea, but he knew Ven was a good person. 

Yet, through the hole in his heart left by Ven’s awakening, he thought, ‘yeah, but I’m Sora’.

Then they went in, and met with Master Yen Sid and the other Guardians of Light. 

After that, they were so busy going to the Keyblade Graveyard and being separated and dying (dying?) that the hole in his heart was kind of left forgotten besides a distant ache. He didn’t let it bother him, though, because everyone always told him his heart was strong, and he couldn’t let his heart falter. 

He got lost in the labyrinth at some point. Fought Xigbar (Braig?) and Young Xehanort, fought Marluxia and Larxene and Luxord. Then he stumbled on Lea and Kairi getting attacked, and his heart was in his throat because they had only just finished their training and Kairi had never been much of a fighter. He was on them in a split second. 

There had been talk. Lea got in front of them, because somehow that’s where he always ended up. Xemnas was talking, but Lea, because he was Lea, was fully prepared to snark right back. A spot of pride echoed through Sora’s heart, but he knew it wasn’t Sora’s pride, judging by the way his heart beat proud and strong. It was a pride deeper than that, not necessarily more meaningful, but borne with a grief and love that Sora, no matter how much he did care for Lea, simply could not express. 

The fear that encapsulated his heart when Lea was shot by a thousand energy bullets was equally powerful and equally hard. 

Then, the one shrouded in the black coat, the one who had not made themselves yet known, defended Lea, and then Sora had no choice but to get in the way, and he didn’t even know what he was saying before he said it. 

“You can stop now! Xion…”

In the next couple of instances, as Sora lay on the ground and Lea and Xion were about to be murdered, his heart emptied so completely that he didn’t even know what to do with the void. 

And as happy as he was to see that Roxas, somehow, had come back to himself... (and he was, he was so happy, this entire journey had been a cross between defeating Xehanort and returning the one in his heart to his rightful self) The grief that was replaced there, as he told them “Good luck!” and went off to save Kairi, was so powerful and unexplainable that he knew no cure. 

When Vanitas had mentioned his heart being a prison, during his Mark of Mastery exam, he had never really considered what it would mean for him, once he let all those prisoners go. 

Ventus, he soon found out, had been in his heart for most of his life. If Ventus had slept a ten year sleep, and Sora arriving in the Land of Departure had resulted in him waking, and if Roxas even looked so similar to Ven that they may as well have been twins, then it made sense, in some sort of messed up way that could only explain Sora’s life thus far, that Ven had slept on in his heart for ten years. That was two-thirds of his life that Ven had been in him—that his heart had been occupied by two. 

And Sora, Aqua said, was so like Ventus. It was almost remarkable. Perhaps they were related, she had joked once, ruffling their hair in the same fashion, in a way that made Sora’s heart ache but maybe not in a good way. She said that, and even looking back, Sora’s heart ached again. 

It almost felt like Sora was too like Ventus. 

Lea said that he shared the same face as Roxas, too. He didn’t like that. He knew it was sort of inevitable (after all, Lea and Axel shared the same everything, but somehow that didn’t feel the same). Looking at his Other, a boy separate from him who, for a year, split his heart into at least three, it hurt. And then, seeing Xion again, and Xion and Roxas shared a face, and didn’t that mean that Xion and Sora shared a face? 

And Vanitas… Sora didn’t have the ability to explain how much despair he felt when Vanitas pulled off his mask and showed Sora his own face. 

If Sora was split into so many faces, so many people… what did that mean for his poor, fractured heart? He had always thought that his heart was strong, but it was his friends that were his power. So perhaps the strength of his heart remained in the others who had since split from him. 

And perhaps… the Sora that everyone knew wasn’t Sora at all. 

Everyone said that Sora was so friendly. He liked that. He liked being the friendly, guy that someone could lean on. But Aqua, and now Terra, said that Ventus was so much that way that he could make friends with any enemy—had attempted on numerous occasions, in fact, to make friends with Vanitas.  

So maybe friendly was Ventus. Not Sora. 

People also said that Sora was kind. He liked giving to people in need and being there when they needed him most. 

But Lea and Roxas apparently had tales upon tales of Xion, not even a full year old, stopping to feed lost puppies and scoop up things and chase after the owner when the owner didn’t realize that they had dropped it. Lea even told tale of Xion falling in love with a lost pup in a matter of moments—and the pup coming home with them five minutes later. 

So maybe kind was Xion. Not Sora. 

Sora had also been told that he was generous. He gave his all to his friends and then some. He would give everything he had without a second thought. 

And then Xion, giggling over at Roxas who turned a wonderful shade of red, told him about the time that Xion brokenheartedly couldn’t summon her keyblade, so Roxas lent her his, and used a stick, until she could make the keyblade work for her again. 

So… so maybe generous was Roxas. Not Sora. 

Sora didn’t know what else there was to have. His anger was Vanitas’ and Roxas’. His loyalty was Ventus and Vanitas.

His heart… his whole heart belonged to them. 

So who… who was Sora? What was left for Sora?

It wouldn’t have been so hard before this. He thought. Probably. But his heart ached, almost entirely empty. It was used to being at least three times as full, and now… it just wasn’t. There was a huge hole where Ventus had slumbered, and another one where Roxas had waited, and he thought there was probably another where Xion, and even Vanitas, waited their turns to be their own people again, too. 

His heart, broken five separate ways, wasn’t so strong anymore. 

Still. Sora was the way that Sora was, and he went off to find Kairi on his own. Xehanort had died and everyone went their separate ways. Ventus, Terra, and Aqua to the Land of Departure, Xion, Roxas, and Lea to Twilight Town, Donald, Goofy, and King Mickey to Disney Castle. And Riku, all on his own, returned to Destiny Islands because it was Sora’s job to reunite lost friends, and no one else’s. 

He wondered every day.

He called them all. Since Jiminy had been so kind to provide them all Gummiphones. He didn’t always ask the question, but somehow, at least a few of them seemed to know what he was thinking. 

“An idiot,” Roxas said, although Sora couldn’t help but notice the note of affection in his tone when he said it. 

“A good person,” Ventus said, his voice swelling with his heart, honest and for true. 

“A statistic,” Riku said, but Sora knew he only said that because he wasn’t quite sure just what else he was supposed to say, and because he was at home on Destiny Islands, where everyone remembered him now, and apparently there were posters up with his face on them asking “Have You Seen Me?”

“Sora,” Donald said, Goofy agreeing hugely in the background. Sora wasn’t sure if that answer hurt, because he didn’t know what that meant, or helped, because Sora just being enough the way that he was was… nice. 

He didn’t really know what to make of all those answers, though. And he didn’t know what that could mean for him. 

-----

He found her. After another long journey. Thankfully, most of the journey had not been fighting, but searching. The Heartless were gone, and the Nobodies were gone, and the Unversed were gone, so for the most part Sora was safe. He still dealt with rogues occasionally, but when all he had to do was whip out Shooting Star and form change to Double Arrowguns, or Wheel of Fate and form change to Highwind, it was pretty easy to scare off all but the most serious. 

The most serious, of course, was the one who had her. 

He was fading. He knew. He had outdone himself. Kairi was safe, at least. Holding him tight. Crying. He hated it when she cried. It made his heart ache. He had passed her the keys to the Gummiship. 

“Get home,” he said. Because Sora was the way that Sora was, and did the things that Soras do and he worried about his friends more than he cared about himself. Was he scared? Without a doubt. But he knew… he knew nothing could be done for him. 

...Kairi had always seemed to know him so well.

“Kairi?”

She sobbed, clutching his hand tight, and whispered, “Yes, Sora?”

“...Who am I? If I was Ventus, and Roxas, and Xion, and Vanitas, what was left for me?” How he had the strength to even say those words, he didn’t know. 

He was fading fast. 

And Kairi smiled, so bright it lifted his heart a little. He was so happy to see her safe, now. He loved her so much.

“A hero,” she said, and there was no hesitation whatsoever. She squeezed his hand and linked their fingers together. “You’re a hero.”

He paused, and a weak smile passed over his lips, up to her. A hero, huh?

For the first time since Roxas had finally been released, his heart was full. Figures it would be just in time for him to die. 

He liked that...

#creative aces #my writing #kh #khfanfic #sora #sora centric #aaaaaaaaaaand then is the secret ending #this boy deserves love and kisses #idk it just got me thinking that with like four other ppl affecting his actions and emotions #how would he know which were his and which were there #character death mention #FACT: sora is a hero

[rox-the-proxy]

You are You

Am I trying to fill the TerraVan shaped hole in my heart? Yes, yes i am. This is a result of very little hours of sleep.

Vanitas had taken to leaving his helmet off. It had started about a year into him being with the Guardians of Light. With Sora gone it wasn't weird to see Riku, and Kairi looking at Vanitas with a look of longing and sadness. It also wasn't strange to see Kairi often times sitting with him chatting away. Even if she did most of the talking. For a while, it was all fine, he had stopped wearing his helmet and he was more friendly. However, recently Terra started to notice tension in Vanitas. He had started to notice he was eating lighter foods in smaller amounts, he wasn't sleeping as peacefully as he usually did. Terra couldn't fathom why this was happening.

He had asked the raven what was going on, but Vanitas only gave him a tired smile and gave him a soft nuzzle to his face before he always told him that he was fine, he would be okay. Terra would have believed him if he hadn't noticed all of this started happening the more time he spent with Kairi. Terra thought maybe he just wasn't used to being so close to a Princess of Heart; but there was just something about it that didn't feel quite right. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but he knew it was more then what he let on.

"Your worried about him." Isa pointed out as he and Terra worked on opening up crates of supplies Lea, Riku, and Roxas had brought back. Terra gave the blue haired male a shocked look before a look of concern took over his features. He looked over to where Vanitas was standing with Kairi. Both standing by one of the cliff edgeds here in the Land Of Departure, while Kairi looked bittersweet, Vanitas looked tense, angry even, it sparked worry in him. "He's been rather agitated as of late. Has he given you a reason as to why? Or has he kept that to himself so far?"

"As of now, he hasn't told me anything. Said I shouldn't worry, that he's fine." He begrudgingly admitted with a heavy sigh before pulling the top if a wooden crate open. "I don't know, i want to know what's wrong, but I don't want to force him or push too much because he'll shut me out."

Isa nodded in understanding as he took a moment to look over at Lea who now had snatched up Xion and Naminé, playfully threatening to toss them into the small pond Terra and Riku had recently made. It hadn't been filled with fish yet, but it definitely had water. "Lea can be like that from time to time. I think he looks back on Axel's and Saïx's time with the organization. He gets a look that's between haunted, angry to sad, and bittersweet. Maybe he fears I will feel what Saïx felt. But he never tells me." The blue haired male chuckled softly. "He always tells me not to worry, that it's something for him to deal with...Axel and Lea weren't very different at all. Expect maybe in the aspect of doing all the 'icky jobs' as Lea and Axel put it."

"Do...do you ever get him to tell you anything?"

"Sometimes. But most of the time he just tells me not to worry. He comes to me when he gets overwhelmed or wants reassurance that I still love him as much as I did when we were idiot teenagers who thought we knew everything about the world."

Terra smiled at that. Isa and Lea were always so open about the love they felt for each other. They didn't have any shame in holding hands in front of others, giving kisses on the cheek, nose or lips in front of crowds and it was never unusual for either of them to randomly tell the other that they loved them, or randomly bring them their favorite flowers. With himself and Vanitas, that was different. Vanitas was more closed off, shy. He found it hard to be so openly vulnerable in front of so many people, so Terra never pushed his luck. It didn't stop him from giving the raven the occasional random hug or kiss on top of his head. And he knew Vanitas appreciated it because no less then a few moments later a pastel pinkish red Hareraiser would scamper over to him and demand to be carried and petted. Vanitas usually always complained and tried to stomp the poor things out of existence, but Terra moved quickly and would already have the small Unversed in his arms, cooing at it. And yes, he was fully aware Vanitas could faintly feel the hugs and pets Terra would give the little monster.

So, much like Lea and Isa who had their own way of showing their love for each other, Terra and Vanitas had their own way. One of those said ways was Vanitas taking his helmet off for the first time ever in front of Terra and then proceeding to leave it off for extended amounts of time when they were alone. Though he would put it back on when others would show up. Slowly, he started to leaving it off for longer and longer periods of time when others were around until eventually he stopped wearing it all together. The brunette couldn't have been more proud of him, same with Ventus who had expressed his feelings on it to the raven multiple times and each time Terra would catch a glimpse of round, slightly fat, fuzzy, pastel purple floods appearing at the words of praise from Ventus.

It seemed slowly but surely Vanitas was starting to get along with the others. And Terra couldn't have asked for anything else. Though, part of him wished that-

"I AM NOT SORA!"

The sudden rage filled shout came out of nowhere causing Isa to nearly drop the heavy crate he had if Terra had not been quick enough to reach over and steady it. The two men looked at each other for a split second before turning to look over where Vanitas was standing with Kairi. The red headed girl had taken several steps away from the raven who now had a miasma of darkness surrounding him, several dark blueish purple floods skittering around his feet in a agitated manner, but never once got close to Kairi. Looking around, he could see the other's standing frozen, some looking fearful, Riku and Aqua looking ready to rush to Kairi's protection. But Terra knew better, Vanitas didn't want to hurt her, he wouldn't hurt her. He watched as the said raven had his head hanging low, fists clenched so tightly his knuckles were white and his hands shook.

"I. Am. NOT. Sora." He repeated, his voice tight, as he slowly lifted his head to glare at the red haired female who had a look of hurt on her face. "I am NOT him. I am me. I GET IT. You miss him, you cared about him- but I am not him. So stop looking at me like that! I don't want to be compared to him or ANYONE anymore."

"I- Vanitas I never wanted you to feel that way-"

"WELL LOOK HOW WELL THATS BEEN GOING!"

"Back off, Vanitas!" Riku shouted as he came to stand in front of his friend, Terra was instantly at the raven's side, this seemed to shock Kairi and Vanitas both. "Calm down, you don't need to snap at her-"

"Riku, Terra please stop. Let us talk." Kairi said placing her hand on the silver haired male's shoulder and pushing him out of the way, and Vanitas doing the same to the tall brunette. Kairi sighed, taking a breath and calming down as she kneeled down and picked up one of the Unversed that skittered by. She carefully held the creature of darkness in her arms, hugging it gently. It was easy to tell that Vanitas felt it as his shoulders tensed for a moment before they slowly relaxed. "You're right. You aren't Sora. And I am so sorry that I've been making you feel that way. I had never meant for our time together to make you feel that way."

Vanitas shook his head, suddenly looking dejected, the wisps of darkness slowly faded away as his hands slowly unclenched and slowly began to stop shaking. The Unversed at his feet clearly becoming less agitated as well. "It's...it's not your fault. I mean, I look EXACTLY like him...from shoulder to elbow, and from elbow to wrist." He golden eyed male explained as he brought a hand up to his face, his fingers running down from his hairline, down over his left eye, his nose, lips and chin. He gave a airy chuckle and shake of his head. "I'm physically exactly like him, just a different color pallet." He said with a forced laugh which got a small sympathetic smile from Kairi. He shook his head again for a moment, going silent and mulling over his next words. "When you all look at me, you see him. And you can't help but feel a certain way."

"But that's no excuse for us- for me- to make you feel like you aren't you." She argued, running her hand down the Flood's back which got a long gurgling purr of content out of the creature. Vanitas huffed at her.

"It's not, your right. But it's understandable as to /why/ it happened." He countered rather easily. Both went silent now, merely looking anywhere but at each other. Eventually Vanitas sighed and looked at the red headed female. "Riku loved- loves- him...so when he looks at me, he sees the one he loved who is missing. When you look at me, you see someone who helped give you confidence and did everything he could to save you. You both look at me like I was the one who-" he paused, biting his lip and glancing off to Terra. "like- like Im Sora. Like I'm dead...I don't want to be Sora, I can't replace him."

"I know you can't. And I don't want you to." She said, following his gaze. She couldn't help but smile and look back at the raven. "You love him, don't you?" She asked suddenly, which caused the raven to blush darkly, the flood in her arms instantly bursting into a plume of smoke and several of the pastel purple, slightly fat, fuzzy Floods to appear around his feet. This made the red head laugh and place a hand on his elbow. "I'm sorry- oh God there is so many-" she said between fits of giggles.

Terra and many of the others relaxed at the sound of her laughter. Clearly the two were able to work out the tension they was between them without anyone else interfering. The brunette couldn't help but smile as he crossed his arms over his chest and watched as Kairi laughed and for whatever reason, Vanitas was as red as a tomato, the pastel purple Floods sat at his feet and a few at Kairi's. "Well, that worked out."

"Yeah...Kairi and I owe Vanitas an apology. We didn't want him to think we were trying to replace Sora with him or compare him to him." The Keyblade Master said, Terra shrugged as he watched Vanitas rub the back of his head shyly and sheepishly before giving her a small smile. One that rarely graced his features in front of others, but it was by far one of his most beautiful expressions.

"Yeah. But he understands. But for now, its best to give him space." Terra pointed out, he smiled and uncrossed his arms as he watched Vanitas walk up to him, instantly pressing himself against his chest. He didn't hesitate for a moment before he wrapped his arms around the smaller male, squeezing him as he pressed his face into the soft, dark colored locks that acted like his hair. He wasn't sure how long they stayed like that, Isa and Riku having had stepped away to give the pair space. But Terra didn't want to look up, didn't want to risk moving for the fear of braking this delicate trance that Vanitas seemed to be in that allowed the brunette to hold him this long in front of a crowd. He did however take a deep breath and exhaled slowly, he was temped to just turn the both of them around, using his own body to shield the raven from sight.

"I'm okay," Vanitas murmured, his head turned to the side so his cheek was resting against the other male's chest. His arms wrapped loosely around Terra's waist, eyes closed and body completely relaxed. "I didn't mean to snap at her it just happened."

"It's okay, no one blames you...it's not fun being compared to someone else. Especially considering, well, you know." Terra pulled away slightly, moving so both his hands were now cupping Vanitas' face, gently encouraging the smaller male to look up at him. He have the golden eyed male a reassuring smile, one which got a faint blush and smile in return. Looking down at the ground he couldn't help but laugh softly at the sight of the pastel colored Floods and Hareraisers bouncing around and away to the other Guardians of Light. "You know, they're still pretty cute,"

"I think you mean pretty damn annoying." Came the reply which Terra couldn't help but laugh loudly at. Vanitas rolled his eyes at the reaction but it didn't stop the fond smile from appearing either. When it came to Terra, Vanitas couldn't help but return the loving smiles, the stupid happy grins or even the full body laughter that escaped the man when something was truly funny to him. "I'm sorry," Vanitas said, leaning into the hands of the bigger Keyblade Wielder. "I should have talked to you about it when you asked. Maybe I wouldn't have snapped at her."

Terra shook his head, pressing their foreheads together, gently rubbing their noses together. "I think you still would have snapped at her, they miss him, and you look like him. With how...fresh those feelings are for them, it isn't a shock they were seeing and projecting Sora onto you. It isn't and wasn't okay, but you understand what it happened. And clearly Kairi and Riku hadn't meant to do that." Terra explained, pressing a quick kiss to his lips, this won him a soft purr from the golden eyed male. "I never want you to feel like I'm forcing you to talk to me when something is wrong or when your having an issue. But I do want you to know that I am always, always here for you. Okay?"

Vanitas nodded, placing his hands over Terra's. "Even if I'm not Sora?" He asked, it was a stupid question, he knew that. But it was because of Sora that he, Aqua and Ventus were back safe and sound. Sora was a special person, it was him to fixed all of their broken mistakes, it was him who had done everything he could to save them and it was him who made that sacrifice to bring Kairi back. He heard Terra chuckle softly before he felt the other give him another short but sweet kiss.

"I wouldn't want Sora. I want you, Vanitas. No one else." At that, Terra got a loud, rumbling purr from the smaller male. He chuckled softly, moving his hands from Vanitas' face and wrapping his arms around his waist, squeezing him tightly before loosening his hold after the got a grunt from the golden eyed male. "Help me with all of this stuff?" He asked, motioning to the crates of supplies. He watched as Vanitas pulled away and nodded as he moved to start pulling things out of the wooden crates. "Hey, Vanitas,"

"Hm?"

"I love you." Terra grinned at the redness that washed over thr pale skinned male's face. He couldn't help but laugh as the raven spluttered. His laughs only increasing as several pastel colored Jellyshades poofed into existence around him. He glared up at the bobbing Unversed as the floated around him. The brunette watched in amusement as the raven swatted at the Unversed that just easily floated away from his reach, spreading out to the other Guardians of Light. The girls seeming to awe at the sight of such cute looking monsters while some of the boys in their group took to gently poking them to watch them float away in a peaceful and graceful manner. "I love you, and only you. Just the way you are, Vanitas."

Even though the raven never said those words back, and even if he got a punch in the shoulder. The pastel Jellyshades and the brightly colored archravens that clustered around him where all he needed to know that Vanitas felt the same.

#kh fanfiction #post kh3 #kh vanitas #kh terra #terravan #i will go down with this ship #i have no excuse for this #other then i love this ship

[dreadfuldeimos]

Fanfic: Be Still, My Beating Heart

A fanfic I’ve written set post Kingdom Hearts 3. It has MAJOR MAJOR spoilers for the game, so anyone who hasn’t played it or finished it yet, please be wary and stay away!

Summary: Three years after the defeat of Xehanort, Kairi is stuck in a "new normal.” As she strives for the title of Keyblade Master alongside others, she realizes she has to deal with her personal demons in order to succeed. But allowing her heart to be her guiding key might take her in a direction she never necessarily anticipated. (Exploration of Disney Worlds is common in this! If anyone wants to see certain non-Disney animated worlds, send them to me in an ask!]  

Pairings: [Lea/Kairi][Roxas/Xion][Terra/Ventus][Isa/Namine][Sora/Riku] Rating: T for Teen currently, but expect upgrades later down the line for both violence and sex. 

Three chapters of this have already be completed, and I’m including the first chapter under the cut! Click this link to check out the entire fic!

I never realized how much of a difference three years would make.

Three years after the Second Keyblade War, I stood in the Land of Depature's great hall, front and center with the other wielders I fought alongside. We weren't the only ones in the room; there were maybe twenty or twenty-five others, all newcomers that have either started manifesting their weapons or were very eager to try. The grand hall had never been so vibrant before. Aqua and Terra presided over us from the front platform, the only two Keyblade masters to train a new legion of pupils. Well, there were more than two--actually, there were three Keyblade Masters who could, arguably four...

...but it had been years since any of us had heard from Sora and Riku.

As Aqua started addressing us and the crowd fell into silence, I couldn't help but tune her out and focus on the one thing encasing my mind: the past. I had shared the paopu fruit with Sora before the battle. He was supposed to be a part of my life, no matter what, from that point on...but once we had made it back to the Islands, ready to relax and spend time with our friends, he disappeared from my grasp, like fractals spinning off into the sunlight. I haven't seen him since.

Sora's disappearance had an impact on everyone, and it was immediately evident. We called an emergency meeting at Master Yen Sid's tower to discuss what happened to him and what our options were. I was certain Mickey and Yen Sid knew more than they let on, even though they explained to us their theory: Sora had most likely tapped into a similar variant of time travel that Young Xehanort used to return to the past and prevent me from dying. No one in the room looked at me when this was brought up, and I could only assume they all blamed his disappearance on me. I wouldn't have blamed them if they did.

The meeting revealed a few more secrets--all of which were surprising, and all of which were focused around one, particular girl. Namine. When Master Yen Sid motioned for her to speak her piece, she opened it with an explanation. She had never been my Nobody at all; Namine was her own person, the Princess of Light that came before me. She explained her past to us with some degree of detail. She was under the guardianship of Ansem the Wise; despite not having many memories, she recalled seeing him as a father figure until his experiments on the heart prompted him to use her as a test subject. She had befriended Lea and Isa when they would sneak into the castle, and was the girl they had both been searching for. It was touching to see their reunion, but it was peculiar to know that I wasn't her Other, I was her vessel.

It wasn't until after that meeting that Terra, Aqua, and Ventus returned to the Land of Departure to restore it to its former glory; a year later, they had laid all the groundwork for a Keyblade Academy, and even brought back a familiar, not-so-nice face as a redeemed ally: Vanitas. He looked so much like Sora. I often caught myself staring at Vanitas, hoping so intensely I could pretend I was looking at Sora instead; I never could. It was difficult to keep my emotions from rising to the surface, but it must have been harder for Riku. He left the next day, without saying a word; it's been a year, and he hasn't returned.

I looked up as Aqua was making her closing remarks, the words "may your heart be your guiding key" echoing through the foyer. As she and Terra descended the steps onto the floor, they urged everyone to mingle and get to know each other. It was the largest group of Keyblade students that had been assembled in quite a long time, after all. But my heart was my guiding key, and it guided me straight from the hall and into the dormitories we lived in. It was so hard for my light and personality to shine brightly without Sora around to make me smile.

When I shoved my key into the lock and gave it a twist, I heard two doors open instead of just mine. Panicked, I looked up to see Lea unlocking the door to his own room. He gave me a lazy smile as he put one foot across the threshold. "Not in a socializing mood, Princess?"

"No, not really," I said dully, walking into my room and closing the door behind me. I heard him dumbly stutter out "A-alright, guess I'll see you in training then" as I sank down against my door. I knew I shouldn't have been so curt with him--clearly he was just trying to make small talk and see if I was alright. Just because he spent more time hanging out with Roxas and Xion than he did with me didn't nullify our friendship or anything...

I sighed and pulled myself off the floor, only to go flop down on my bed. Morning would be here soon enough, and then it would be just another day back on my grind.

The class of Keyblade wielders I was in didn't have a name.

We functioned like a normal school, as far as grade levels went. We had first-year Keybearers, second-year Keybearers; eventually, there would be third and fourth years as well, maybe even fifth and sixth years, depending on how many individuals we found to train. As far as my class went, though, we didn't have a name. We were simply the ones who fought a war (some of us with minimal training) and made it back to tell the tale.

There were eight of us, including myself: Roxas, Xion, Axel, Namine, Isa, Ventus, Vanitas. I never wanted to train alongside Vanitas, I had never expected Namine and Isa to materialize Keyblades, and I had assumed Ventus would have been a Master by now. Everyone was joking around, goofing off, having fun; I wasn't. I stood away from everyone, hesitant to join in with their horseplay. It all reminded me of Sora and Riku. Despite the fact I have lived with only the shadows of their memories, it was different this time.

"So the first thing we're going to address," Aqua started, walking into the room and causing everyone to fall silent, "is your primary project for this educational year." She sat cross-legged on one of the benches, looking up at all of us standing in front of her. Everyone looked like they wanted to burst out in chatter at the excitement of a project. "As the highest caliber of Keyblade wielders," she continued, "it is going to be your jobs to go out in groups of three and find new, strong hearts that have the potential to use a Keyblade. You're more than welcome to pass on your power to individuals you may meet along the way that you deem fit."

At that, everyone began talking at once.

"I finally get to explore other worlds? That's so exciting!" Namine gasped.

"Trust me, it isn't that great with Heartless attacking you every five seconds," Xion retorted, shuddering.

"I wanna be on Vanny's team!" Ventus said with enthusiasm, gripping onto his Other's (or was he a brother? I wasn't sure) arm excitedly.

"No one will be picking their own teams," Aqua sighed loudly, as though getting everyone to silence one more time was particularly tiresome. "Master Yen Sid decided team compositions for you. He picked individuals he believes will work well together based on skill, fighting style, and level of experience."

"So what are our teams?" Roxas piped up, looking at Aqua anxiously. He was like a kid in a candy store, or an excited puppy; I couldn't choose which. "C'moooon Aqua, I wanna know!"

Aqua sighed again, pinching the bridge of her nose as though she wanted to tell Roxas that she would tell him if he was a bit more quiet. "Our first team..." Aqua said slowly and deliberately, relief washing over her face as the gaggle of unruly teens began to get quieter. "...will be Roxas, Xion, and Ventus. Yen Sid has emphasized that the three of you make an excellent team due to your similar, yet different, fighting styles. Most of you guys are attack based, so he recommends the three of you alternate between the following roles: bruiser, magician, and defender. Once I've called your teams, go stand off somewhere with them until we begin our training drill."

Roxas, Xion, and Ventus giddily jumped up and down, the three of them rushing off to a corner of the field, muttering about team names and mascots. I heard Ventus suggest they call themselves "The Sora Squad," and I cringed when they started to overflow with giggles. I would have much rather had Sora himself there than all of them combined, despite how callous of a thing that is to say. "Team Two will be comprised of myself, Namine, and Isa. Master Yen Sid wants to keep you two on a similar playing field as everyone else, but these missions to other worlds might be too much for the two of you to handle on your own. I will be tagging along to be the defender in your group; Namine, you will be focused on magic, and Isa, you will be focused on attack."

The two smiled at each other, holding each others' hands as they walked off towards another corner of the courtyard, whispering excitedly between each other. I wished it was Sora and I holding hands and jabbering away about how exciting it would be to travel the worlds looking for more strong hearts of light. As I watched them walk, I froze; there were only eight of us in this class. If five of them had already been assigned to teams...I looked around at who was left standing. Oh no...

"And Team Three, you should all be able to use deductive reasoning to know who you are," Aqua finished. "Kairi, Lea, and Vanitas. Lea and Vanitas, Master Yen Sid wants you two to alternate between fulfilling heavy hitting and defense roles so Kairi can start to focus on honing her latent magical ability."

"Latent magical ability?" It was the first thing anyone had heard me say that day, and I said it with an eyebrow raised and my arms crossed. "I didn't think I had any magical ability."

Aqua very nearly gawked at me. "You're a Princess of Heart," she explained. "You have quite powerful magic ability that you need to be able to tap into. It's going to become your greatest asset, both in combat and even in your every day life."

"Yes, Master Aqua," I nodded respectfully, walking off to follow Lea and Vanitas to the back center of the training courtyard. Out of all the individuals I had to get stuck with, Lea was one that I didn't mind so much; we had spent a lot of time together in a timeless dimension of Merlin's creation to train for the Keyblade war, even though we didn't do much other than sit around and watch the sunset together. Vanitas, though...I minded being around him. In fact, I had half a mind to tell Aqua to switch me out with Isa, just so I could be on a team with someone who didn't have any relation to Sora at all. How was I going to train with Vanitas every day? How was I going to fight the waves of sickness that rolled over me every time I wished he was actually Sora? How could I get used to this?

Fuck.

#kingdom hearts #kh #kingdom hearts 3 #kh3 #kingdom hearts fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #kingdom hearts fanfiction #akukai #leakai #namisa #terraven #vanaqua #vankai #soriku #rokushi #post kh3 #kh3 spoilers #multi chapter fic #romance fanfiction #romance fanfic #long fanfic

[storm-driver]

Insomnia

(This is just a short piece that I wanted to write after playing KH3, lemme get all my fangirl-y things out before I resign myself to casual fan again.)

Insomnia.

Is that what it’s called? If so, Sora used to be an insomniac. When he was young. He stayed up at night because his body wouldn’t let him sleep. Because I wouldn’t let him sleep. 

Was this the revenge? My heart was aching, and I couldn’t figure out why. My body and mind were tired, but that feeling in my chest wouldn’t release the burning grip on my soul. It drove my eyes open and if I tried to shut them, a sense of dread overtook my limbs and gave me the feeling something was clawing at the edge of the bed, reaching for them. 

I sat up straight. I could feel my sense of control over my tired body waver and I shook my head to get feeling back into my face. The spikes of hair fell into my eyes and I couldn’t see ahead in the darkened room. It wasn’t comforting.

I threw the blanket off my legs and dangled them over the edge. The hollow feeling in my heart longed for something to be there. To be beside it. I stood up and walked to the wooden door, my body moving forward with the idea before I’d decided to. Before my hand grabbed the knob, I pulled back, realizing my actions. 

I looked at my hand. It was hard to see in the dark, but I was twitching. My fingertips periodically flicked, if just barely, and my arm was shaking. I grabbed my arm with the other, trying to hold it steady. What am I feeling? Why did I get up? Just lay down, close your eyes, you’ll go to sleep eventually.

I told myself that, but I found myself hesitating still. I stood at the door for longer than I wanted to and I only got more frustrated. That was a really lame idea, you shouldn’t have even thought of it, and now you’re trying to go through with it still. Just go lay down. 

I can’t sleep.

I’m scared to sleep. If I sleep again, there’s a chance I’ll never wake up. My heart dwindled on the edge of death, I could feel it. And it was only because of Sora that I lived. Was it really right of me, then, to make him fear sleep as much as I do?

When he was a child, and I was still adjusting to being trapped in a perpetual dream, all I wanted to do was wake up. I tried to force myself awake. It was worse when Sora would try to sleep as well. I felt the darkness pushing his heart into sleep, and all I would do was fight it, trying to get it away from him. It’d make him wake up. Sora was a very tired child because of me. It’s probably why he dozes off on occasion these days. He never got the sleep he needed then, and his body will take whatever it can get now. 

What right did I have to ask him if I could just... sleep in the same room as him? Knowing what I’d done? I eventually began to accept my fate, my infinite dream, and sometimes nightmare. My dreams were the strangest. I was aware they weren’t real, and I’d hoped maybe I could somehow manipulate them. I couldn’t. I soon came to know they weren’t dreams I was experiencing. But memories. From myself. From Sora. From Roxas, too. I still never knew who Roxas or Sora really were, just that I owed Sora, for both saving my life and dealing with my paranoia. I felt my guilt wrack up whenever I saw what he’d gone through, and what Roxas had gone through. I dreaded the thought of waking up and having to face what I’d done just by existing in his heart. 

My hand was on the knob. I let it fall off and I turned back to the bed. The tiredness in my eyes was coming back, and I felt I was going to actually sleep now. The idea made my heart beat faster. I couldn’t fall asleep, I kept telling myself. But another part of me said that I had to. 

I sat on the edge of the bed and held my hands in my lap. My limbs felt frail. My skin was pale. I hadn’t moved or been out in the sun in years. How many had it been? Sora is almost seventeen-years old.... Twelve years. It’d been that long since I last felt the warmth of the sun... Somehow, I didn’t miss it.

There was something on the other side of the door. I heard the shuffling. My body woke up fast, and my hand twitched to take my keyblade up in arms. The door cracked up enough to let just a little light into the room. 

“Ventus, are you awake?” His voice was still scarring to hear, but this voice was kind. I knew he wasn’t going to hurt me, not like the other one.

“Yes. I can’t sleep.” I felt Sora’s eyes on me and averted contact. 

“I felt the same.” The shadow where he stood crept into the room just a little further. “Can I come in?” He was hesitant to ask the question, the hints of doubt plastered in his voice.

I wasn’t expecting the question and looked back to see his messy outline against the light coming from the door. “Yeah, sure.” I didn’t look away this time.

“Thanks...” His voice was low. He shut the door behind him and walked towards the bedside. Even though I’d moved to give him room to sit, he didn’t. 

Our eyes met and I asked, “Do you wanna sit?” I felt stupid for asking. It should’ve been obvious I was offering. 

“I want to know... if you’re okay.” He loomed over me, a tall figure in the dark room. I felt like I was about to be interrogated. 

“My body isn’t... used to being awake... I just have a lot of energy, is all.” I lied blatantly. I almost felt proud of the lie. I didn’t do it often. Maybe I’d step around the truth when it came to talking to Terra at times, but I never actually told someone something dishonest, most especially about myself. I felt the need to hide the truth from Sora, and I knew exactly why: I owed him too much to give him something else to worry about. 

“Be honest with me, please.” The pride in my heart dropped like a weight and I looked up to see his blue eyes, seemingly brighter than the rest of him in shadow. “You’re not okay. I can feel it.”

“’Feel it’?” The phrase didn’t seem right. He and I were separated from each other. His heart no longer had a place for mine. I didn’t belong there. He shouldn’t feel anything I’m feeling, not anymore. 

“I don’t know... how or... why. But you’re hurting. I can tell.” His hand reached out to my shoulder and he grabbed me. I almost felt better immediately. But the feeling faded as fast as it came. “You can’t sleep, how come?”

I pulled mine own eyes away. Sora, you don’t have to put up with me or my issues anymore, I wanted to tell him. But I’ve had enough dreams of his life to know that would only mean for him to try harder to get to me. I shook my head. “I don’t know, I just can’t.” 

I wasn’t frustrated with him. I was lying and I knew it. And he somehow knew that, too. “Then you mind if... I try to figure it out?” He bent down to try to catch my eyes again and it worked. I look back at him. 

I nodded and rest my head on my hands. He sat down next to me and my eyes followed him. He held both his hands in front him and looked up at the dark corners of the room. “Well, you might be full of energy from having slept for so long. But I’m looking at you now-” He looked at my face and his eyes seemed to evoke a feeling of pity, “-and you don’t look like you could stand up for very long.”

I nodded again, acknowledging his defacement of my lies. He continued, wedging the guilt in my heart: “You don’t seem like someone who’s quiet when they’re bothered by something.” 

My jaw clenched and my fingers pulled at the blanket beneath me. He hardly knew who I was and somehow had me figured out in no less than a few hours. And again, I wasn’t mad at anyone but myself. I was predictable, wasn’t I? 

“Ventus, what’s hurting?” His hand landed on my shoulder and he shook me lightly. I kept my eyes on the empty shadows, and I could feel him staring into me. 

“I... I’m missing something.” I didn’t lie that time. 

“Is it Terra?”

It stung to hear his name. Aqua made sure to let me know that Terra was taken from us because of Xehanort. It wasn’t my fault because I’d failed to tell him about Vanitas. It wasn’t Aqua’s fault for failing to stop him from trusting Xehanort. And it wasn’t the Master’s fault for trying to chastise Terra back to the right path. Of course, I missed him. But his light wasn’t the one I was longing for. It was hard to bring myself to say it. 

“I miss Terra... but that’s not what I mean.” I managed that much out. 

Sora’s head hung on his shoulders and he looked down at my twitching hands. He was quick to pick up on hints, I wasn’t ready to talk about Terra, and he said, “Well, uh.... you worried about tomorrow?” 

“Of course.” I breathed the answer easily. My heart rate immediately lowered as we entered the more approachable topic. “I’m not sure what we’re gonna see when we get out there.... but it’s making me a bit nervous.” I laughed just barely, letting the small delight leave my mouth. I looked back at my hand and raised it to see it better. The band on my wrist felt tight. “I almost wanna stay here and avoid it all. I just want to go-” I stopped myself. My hand twitched at my own thoughts. No, I don’t want to.

“’Go back to sleep?’” He finished my sentence. “What, was twelve years not enough for you?” A light chuckle left his lips and he smiled to himself. 

His words were my breaking point. The frustration I felt with myself began to show physically. I felt the tears begin to spill over my eyes and run down my face. The droplets hit the back of my hand, where Sora had been staring. He silenced himself and his eyes dilated, trailing back up to my tear-streaked face. 

“You don’t want to sleep.” He muttered the words and I nodded just barely. The cries were stifled in my throat. I was ready to let them go when Sora grabbed my shoulders and pulled me into his chest. His arms wrapped around me and he forced some air out of my lungs. He rest his face over my right shoulder, securing his grip on my body. I buried my face into his shoulder and let the tears slip onto his jacket. The twinge of guilt hurt, Sora loved this jacket. He adored the new clothes he’d gotten. Red was his favourite color. I tried to swallow my sobs, but they came out, if just barely. 

Sora. I knew a lot about him, if only from the dreams. He was best friends with Riku, who he’d considered a rival. He wanted to be better than Riku, and hated to admit it when Riku was the superior. He always tried to be better for Kairi. The young girl who he’d found on the beach and brought home with him one day. His mother was very concerned and brought the girl somewhere else. Sora never stopped worrying about Kairi after she’d been taken away from him. He wanted to stay with his new friend. He cared for her, as he cared for almost everyone he met. I almost envied such affection. 

As I pulled my mind out of it’s sorrow, I realized it wasn’t me that was weeping anymore. I could feel the wet tears on my shoulder, sinking through the fabric of my jacket and touching my skin. I was jostled every few seconds by Sora’s bawling. He hugged me tighter. “I’m sorry... I’m sorry you’re going through this.”

The weight in my heart dropped heavier. You shouldn’t care about how I feel, I wanted to say. The strain in his voice was pushing me to start to cry again. “I’m so-” He sniffled. “-sorry that you’re feeling like this.”

He can’t know how I’m truly feeling. Sora didn’t know how my heart ached. It wasn’t possible. “I’m sorry, Ventus.... I’m sorry.” He kept lamenting, sniveling tears staining my jacket. 

He didn’t mean that, I told myself. I began to lift my face from his jacket and spoke in a cracked voice, “You don’t have to worry about this, Sora.” The grip he had on me tightened again.

“Yes, I do...! I do because.... because you’re not alone anymore!”

He screamed. I’ve never heard him scream. There was not a chance that he knew. That nostalgic tie that I desperately wanted to believe was still there between Sora and I. It was gone. It didn’t exist anymore. He couldn’t fill the hollowness in my heart. 

“This isn’t something you need to concern yourself with.” I kept my voice low. I lifted one arm around his back. 

“It is!” His voice tore through me. His heartbeat was definitive against my own. “Because you chose me to protect you!”

The shrill cries and mewls that escaped his lips were echoing what I felt inside. This isn’t possible, I told myself. This isn’t possible. 

“You don’t have to shut me out.” The words were choked out of his mouth. “Not yet. Not until I do what I said I would.” His grip loosened. “I’m going to keep you safe from whatever I can.... Whatever it takes.” 

I closed my eyes on his shoulder and refused to wail. Sora knew me somehow. He’d never met me before today, but it feels like he’s been calling me his friend for years now. 

My eyes were heavy from weeping, even if Sora had done the majority of it. I let my weight sink into his body and I pulled my other arm around him and held on. I could hear his heartbeat clearly. I could feel that warmth completely. 

He held me close before beginning to pull away at last. I felt desperate and tightened the hug, if only for a second. His hands pulled off my back and onto my shoulders. He opened his eyes, red with water all over his cheeks. The weak smile on his lips and furrowed brows told me something that I’d been aching to hear since I’d woken up: he was still with me. 

I returned the look and did my best to contain anymore cries I had hidden in my throat. I rose my hand and wiped away what I could with my wrist. He did the same and we both sat there, trying to compose ourselves. 

“Sorry, don’t know where that came from.” His voice was cracked and broken, but he no longer wailed when he spoke. The puffiness in his eyes was already beginning to fade. “I probably woke up the others with all that.”

“I’m sure they’re fine.” I muttered, rubbing my eyes. “Thank you, Sora.” My vision focused again and I saw him sitting in the darkness of my room. 

“Of course.” His voice was returning again. “Can you sleep now?”

The thought still stifled me. He could tell and put his hand back on my shoulder. “Does it scare you?”

I shrugged and looked back at his blue eyes. “I don’t want to sleep through another war.” 

He smirked and tried to hide a laugh, turning his face away from me. I smiled and let out something of a sound of amusement. He took in a deep breath and looked back at me, “Would it help if you had someone with you?” 

The answer didn’t come to me easily. I stared at his face, my mind dismissing every possibility that he asked me that question. But I pushed the doubts away and said in my own voice, “Yeah, it would.”

Sora fell asleep at the head of the bed, dozing off almost immediately. I laid down next to him, already feeling the comfort of being near his heart again. I couldn’t describe it any differently. He was the safest I’d felt in a long time. Maybe more so than I did with Aqua and Terra. 

I kept my eyes on Sora. The fear in the back of my mind was telling me to keep my eyes open. I stared at the falling and rising of his breathing. The occasional twitch of one of his limbs. He’d groan in his sleep and move, but only barely. His arm fell down beside me. 

His words hung in my heart as I stared at his hand. I did choose him, didn’t I? I chose Sora to protect me. And he has. He is. And he said that he always will. I let my eyes close and began to feel the exhaustion of being alive. My heart drifted elsewhere, somewhere that felt safe. Somewhere warm. 

It was him. It was home.

#kingdom hearts #kh3 spoilers #technically? #my post #stormy weather #writing #i really wanted to give myself into the angst and do some venting tonight