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rinasunny · 10 months

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The Lavatory scene in Red Eye's final shooting script and the movie

One of my previous posts was about how much the first script draft of Red Eye differed from the final product. The draft discussed in this post is more or less final. This draft has all the changes made after Rachel and Cillian were cast as leads and after the test screenings. But there are still some features which didn't make the cut into the final product. I'm not gonna analyse the whole script here, but shippers' favorite scene - the lavatory scene. Yeah, you can always rely on this scene to bring some juicy stuff.

SPOILERS AHEAD

Okay let's start from the moment Lisa enters the bathroom alone.

Frankly speaking, for now, I prefer the movie version. Especially the line "Okay, get up" instead of "Oh my God..." Wes Craven said in the DVD commentary about this moment:

This was tricky, between making her totally collapse, but not have her totally pathetic. And she very quickly gets herself under control.

Next, there is an interesting description of Rippner:

Also, the message on the mirror was meant to be revealed slightly earlier, but whatever.

I'm not sure about Rippner's lines here, because half of it is barely audible in the film. Also quite ironic that the underlined part is not in the movie at all.

Okay, now really important stuff starts kicking in. Rippner practically spills out the fact that he is ATTRACTED to Lisa right at her face. The script makes it clear, that she now knows this and tries to use his attraction (and his regret) to persuade him to give up on Keefe assassination plan. Funny enough, she almost succeeds until he notices her scar. Personally, I think "You're beautiful..." line (and hair brushing) should have stayed in the final cut. Not only for the sake of the ship, but for the fact that without it Lisa's "You don't have to do this" sounds really naive.

Some of you may argue that this is all relevant for the movie, they just made it more subtle. Well, Movie-Lisa's best guess that Movie-Rippner might be attracted to her is the way Cillian looks at Rachel. On one hand many people point out that they do have chemistry and sexual tension, on the other the movie on its own leaves watchers to wonder whether the characters had any romantic feelings towards each other or not. And I probably stumbled upon a comment on YouTube, which interpreted the "You don't have to do this" line more as "You're so pretty, why do you have to be evil?" (or something along these lines)

Also I think that clarification would make Lisa a more nuanced character (by the fact that she tries to manipulate a villain into giving up on his villainy).

Also, as you may have noticed, the scar was meant to be on her neck, makes sence, given her backstory (He held a knife to my throat). I guess they moved it down just so Rippner wouldn't notice it earlier (though the script also mentions, that Lisa was meant to wear a sweater). I, personally, on the back of my horny mind, think he wasn't looking for scar when he gazed on her breast ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).

A little note: Script-Lisa looks away saying "No" while Rachel looks straight into his eyes, but starts trembling instead.

By the way, Rippner wasn't meant to slam and choke her just yet.

I guess he just let her out to wipe out the messege. Here Lisa gives up on conving him.

Only after he finished wiping he starts to choke her. Also, pay CLOSE ATTENTION on what Rippner's lips do here ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). Yep, he almost kisses her.

I guess the changes movie made here were for the sake of pacing.

Another important difference: Rippner fixes both their outlooks to be more presentable. Lisa protests a bit.

I guess the movie crew decided they don't need to fix their look that much.

Also, I prefer the movie's "Peachy" instead of just "Good", though both lines are in the movie lol.

On the final note, I guess "Thanks for the quickie" line makes a bit more sence given we have Rippner's crawling lips there ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).

So, these were the differences of the lavatory scene between the script and the movie. Hope you had as much shipping excitement as I did.

P.S: The link to the script. If you're a fan I strongly suggest to download it, it may easily become a lost media, like an earlier draft.

#red eye #red eye 2005 #jackson x lisa #jackson rippner #lisa reisert #cillian murphy #rachel mcadams #wes craven #carl ellsworth

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jolly-ob-saint-nixilis · 4 years

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I'm not like too upset about the summary? We basically got the draft they would give to authors to fill and it defiantly feels like they where waiting for a writing to iron out the details and fill in the plot holes. The Innistrad art book for example doesn't talk about Tamiyos scroll and just says her Nissa and Jace cast a spell that sealed Emrakul. Not saying Calix and some stuff isn't a bit sloppy handled and no novel makes it worst just that any holes might have been filled in a full story.

My problem is they gave us a summary with the idea that the cards would tell us the story. In some sets they’ve done a pretty good job at this. But for a very long time they’ve had a story that helped support that and expand. This set they… didn’t do that. And didn’t show most of the story on the cards. And most of the story we got in the summary doesn’t line up with the cards.

Wizards has a habit that would debilitate other media about not being able to coordinate their design team with their story team. We had a certain planeswalker die back on Ravnica that the design team didn’t make a card for because of this.

Why isn’t Klothysis dead? Gods survive only by their followers and Klothysis has locked herself away forever and been forgotten by the plane. She should be dead. Why is she mad that Xenagos “took her spot” when he didn’t, she explicitly left the pantheon. Why the titans? Just everything about them. They only show up as a mention in the backstory. They aren’t in the story. When did she clash with Calix? It just says they fought a lot. She was gathering followers in the underworld? Don’t most people lose their memories and identities in the Nyx? Did she just keep happening to find a ton of people who weren’t mindwiped yet? Then she beats the god by… his spear breaking cause she stole it’s shadow or something. Then he just gives up. Apparently Elspeth faith in herself is just that strong that she made this statement into fact which is something at least feasable. She had more faith in the words she was saying than all of Heliod’s worshippers on the entire plane of Theros? Erebos just… puts Heliod under a rock? Why? How do his worshippers on Theros know what happened? Why would people stop worshiping him?

“until he was forgotten by his worshippers above.” Lack of faith kills gods. Erebos believes this will be the death of Heliod. It should also literally be the dead of Klothysis hundreds of years ago.

Then she just gives a casual “hey” to Daxos and fucks off.

So Theros was originally a place for Elspeth to stay. She liked the people and the plane. I get that she died and the gods are dicks and whatnot, but was her decision to abandon the plane then? As the hero of a plane you’d think she’d want to do what she was doing before, protect the people who matter to her.

You’re right, we got a draft. A draft that doesn’t seem to line up with how.. most of this set seems to have actually played out and doesn’t really work with what we have established. It feels like it had to be ironed out and needed to have those plotholes filled in. But they just… released it? The written portion of their multi-million dollar extremely popular game is an unfinished draft of a story?

I can’t say I’m happy about it. But if you’re a follower of mine that doesn’t immediately scroll past my posts as you should probably do you’d probably see a lot of stuff this company has been doing hasn’t exactly made a lot of people happy, myself included.

Everyone is happy with different things. With no sarcasm intended, if seeing the summary and the plot with it made you happy I’m happy for you. It just kinda comes off to me as a last minute decision when there’s been all this talk about letting the cards tell the story.

Which they didn’t because they needed to add a bunch of blurbs on their site to help explain things since the cards didn’t do it.

Then they released this when they realized those blurbs didn’t actually tell the story of Theros.

It just feels.. tiring.

I’m gonna be happy for anyone who finds silver linings in things and takes a more optimistic approach to things. A lot of people aren’t that upset about the summary. It’s new information. It’s something. I’m just not that nice of a person to give wizards that much I guess.

#i am glad when people can find the silver lining #when theres new information out they are excited about #when they can take more optimistic approaches to things #Im just not that kind of person I guess

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purplesurveys · 4 years

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842

have you ever violated school dress code? My Catholic school had us on a very tight leash and we’d have to be crazy to dare to break the dress code over there. My university doesn’t have a dress code though and anyone entering the campus can dress up any way they want, which I’ve always been grateful for. if you are listening to music, is the singer male/female? They are five dudes. what, if anything, do you give up for Lent? I never observed Lent; and as much of a religious fanatic my mother is, I’m glad she never forced me to fast or abstain from something I liked. what phrase leads your mind directly to the gutter? 69, even though it’s childish. when you feel like giving up, how do you convince yourself not to? I just tell myself that things will get better because that seems to be the pattern all the time with me, which is a really good thing.

what are your opinions on immigration? I don’t know much about the issues and its intricacies but as an Asian, I really admire fellow Asians who don’t speak a word of English, end up in the States or somewhere similar and build themselves a better life there. It’s fucking metal. would you tell an actual immigrant your views? Sure, if the topic is raised. what was the subject of the last list you made? There was a tweet asking people to list down which YouTubers practically ~raised them~ growing up, so I joined in the fun and gave my own names. If I remember correctly I listed down Pewdiepie, Smosh, Grace Helbig, Hannah Hart, and the entire Brit crew. do you ever get nervous before interviews/important meetings? Only if it’s supposed to be crucial. Like I imagine I’d be sweating bullets for my first job interview. who pays for the majority of your belongings? My parents. would you ever willingly shop in a thrift store? Of course. There are always some great finds in them. what is the most that you would ever spend on an outfit? Assuming I’m earning my own money, I’m willing to spend around ₱5000 to ₱10,000 on a top or bottom but I can widen my wallet a lot more if we’re talking shoes, because I like them more haha. is there anything you do that just outrages your parents? I know my mom hates it whenever she pulls us for online mass and I visibly grumble. I don’t know if my dad is annoyed with anything I do; and if he feels that way he’ll tell me. I respect him a lot more so if that’s the case, I’ll actually stop whatever it is I’m doing. when was the last time you were embarrassed in public? Probably when I was brought to the hospital a month ago and the nurse was explaining to me how to take a urine test. have you ever won an award you were actually proud of? If Latin honors count, then yes. That was my only goal when I started college, and I reached it, so I’m allowing myself to be proud of, well, myself. the importance of education, rate it from 1-10, 10 as most important? 12. --- explain your choice to rate it as such? It’s different when you come from a third-world country. Education is realistically your only way out. what is the coolest science experiment you've ever done? I liked the ones that we did that involved chemicals and powders. are you experiencing difficulties with any friends right now? Not really. There’s a chance JM has been irritated with me because I always turn really grumpy when he messages me about work stuff, but if he is, at this point I don’t really care anymore because I’ve been detached from org work for a while now. I busted my ass for the org for three years so I think I’m entitled to feel detached now haha. how do you deal with a fight between yourself and a friend? I haven’t been in an argument with one of them in a while but I would prefer to talk it out. when you apologize to someone after a fight, how do you go about saying that you are sorry? I apologize and I mention the thing I did that they were hurt by, so that they feel acknowledged. In the end, I tell them that I’ll be better and if there’s anything I can do to make them feel better or to make the situation better, that they shouldn’t hesitate to let me know. have you ever played around with "dry ice"? No. Isn’t that dangerous lol? do you think parents are responsible for the actions of their children? For the most part, yes. But I know there are still some instances where parents can try and try to be understanding and be the best influences, but their kids will still end up going down the wrong path. There isn’t one answer to this, I think. should the military draft take both men AND women? why/why not? I don’t know, it’s a little complicated. I’m definitely all about equality and providing the same opportunities for men and women, but I know there’s a lot of issues on sexual harassment and assault in the military that have yet to be fixed. Until that’s ironed out and I hear change taking place, it seems a little shady to randomly pick out women to join the military. when was the last time that you corrected someone? My mom had a grammatical error in her Facebook post from yesterday so I told her what the right word to use was. when was the last time you were corrected? I set the table for breakfast today and apparently it wasn’t enough for my mom, who liked her plate to be set in a certain way. when did you last say "i told you so"? Maybe when Kate told me she had broken up with the guy she was having a thing with, lol. is there any celebrity you like to "keep up with"? Not really. I think I’m over that phase now. I’ll check up my faves from time to time, but otherwise I don’t feel the need to read daily updates on them anymore. celebrity gossip: YAY or BOO? Yay if it has substance or if it’s controversial, like a celebrity being exposed for sexual harassment; boo if it’s something stupid like “Kendall Jenner spotted eating pasta today.” what is the most life-changing book you have read? I haven’t encountered it yet. have you had a negative impact on anyone's life? I would say so. I wasn’t always the nicest kid; and I also did a shitty job handling my friendship with Sofie when we were off to college. has anyone had a negative impact on yours? who/why? Yeah. Some relatives, some teachers who didn’t know how to act like teachers, and some people I distinctly remember that bullied me when I was a kid. how will you know when you are ready to get married? I guess when I’m no longer nervous thinking about it and when I’m already 100% sure that I’m independent and capable of looking out for myself. I don’t wanna be married and still be slightly dependent on my parents, which is what a lot of young Filipino married couples end up doing. how much time have you spent contemplating your own death? A very, very good amount. is there a joke that you just can't stand? Ones that you just can’t defend and are just simply offensive, like slavery or poverty. I’ve seen a few shows where they’d refer to the Philippines being poor or being a source of child labor for laughs, and they’ve never been funny to me. have you ever read any self-help books? No, I don’t really trust those lol since they’re usually written by people from other countries who most likely have different experiences and perspectives. If I need some help I’d rather figure it out myself and hear from people that I trust, like my friends. what's your take on the obesity problem in america? It’s a serious problem, obviously. I don’t know much about it other than the fact that Americans are crazy about their fast food and that their serving sizes are ginormous. I really hope they find more ways to address it. what is something you used to love, but now greatly dislike? Journalism. what is something you used to dislike, but now like? Chicken curry, and I think spicy food in general haha. when/if you become a parent, what will you do differently, compared to how your parents raised you? I’ll be more involved. I’ll compliment them more, not invalidate their feelings, and I’ll let them talk when I do something that upsets them, and I’ll apologize to them for it.

do you equate spanking with physical abuse? would you spank a child? The way Filipino parents do it, yeah especially. They don’t just do it with their hands - spanking kids here usually involve slippers and belts. My mom forbade anyone to spank me and my siblings, but nonetheless I watched it happen to my cousins and that alone was traumatic enough for me. How much more for them?

The thing is that it can’t be assumed that kids are able to process why they’re being punished, so I think that any physical punishment to them will just drive them away from their parents, which to me makes it physical abuse. I would never spank my own kids. what's the most ridiculous thing you've done this week? Skipping out the rest of my shower because a moth came into the bathroom and started flying around me lmaoooo eugh. --- did you regret it/love it/hate it/want to do it again/etc? I fucking hated it. if your bf/gf wanted to wait until marriage for sex, would you be willing? Yes. Sex honestly isn’t really a big deal to me. when you look at the sunset, what do you think about/feel? I don’t really think when I look at the sunset. I just admire how pretty it looks and savor the quick few seconds of the sun going down. is there someone you wish you could trust/you wish was trustworthy? No? I don’t wait on people to be trustworthy, if that’s what you mean. I’m grateful for the people who are already around me that I can trust. is there anyone that you no longer want in you life? who/why? There are times I wish I could get rid of my mom so that I don’t get yelled at as much anymore and so that I don’t have anyone watching my every move so much so that I’m cautious to walk around in my own house.

how has your outlook on life changed in the past few years? I’m a lot happier and more stable this time around. I’m glad I stayed around to see the change happen. have you ever walked out of a boring movie (in theaters)? Absolutely not. Even if the movie was bad, I’d watch it through the end. Ticket prices are not to be fucked with lol. how open are you with people you know online? ...What do you think? what do you think of athletes that take steroids? Idk about other sports but that’s a big fuck no in wrestling, after it’s led to addiction, overdoses, and a lot of deaths especially in the 80s and 90s. if a celebrity is involved in scandal after scandal, is that likely to affect how you view him/her & his/her work? Depends on the scandal. I don’t mind when nudes or videos get leaked because honestly, the leakers are the assholes in that situation. But if the scandal is something like people speaking out to accuse a celebrity of racism, abuse, or harassment, then I can very much turn against that person. what is one celebrity that you have zero respect for? Amber Heard. have you ever driven under the influence of alcohol/drugs? Just slightly tipsy, but I’ve always made sure that I’m super super super aware of my surroundings in those times. I won’t drive – and I know my friends won’t allow me to – if I was even just a little dizzy. I’m always the first to start sobering up when I go out to drink because I’m usually the only one with a car and thus responsible for bringing my friends home. are you overly attached to your material possessions? For the most part, yeah. have you ever ridiculed anyone for their clothing choices? Not to their faces. living in poverty: what do you think it'd be like? I already live in a country wallowing in it. My family isn’t poor, but I see poverty on a daily basis nonetheless. No documentary or article can best explain it to anyone who has never lived in a poverty-stricken country. Pretty insensitive question btw. what is one "diet" that you think is just utterly worthless? I’m not familiar with any of them. what advice would you give someone that is uncomfortable with his or her body/appearance? I prefer not to give advice because some people don’t wanna hear it and just wanna hear reassurances and boosters. That said, I’ll just keep encouraging them and telling them that they look really good in their outfit and just making them feel valid and seen. what advice would you give someone about to start high school? Don’t be scared to make mistakes and while you should always study hard and do your best, don’t take everything seriously. It’s high school and won’t matter on your professional resume. what foreign food are you NOT interested in trying? Uhhhh this question makes no sense to me ahahaha I’m always down to try anything. what foreign country do you believe is misunderstood? I can’t speak for other countries but I know mine is pretty misunderstood. I’ve read countless testimonies of Filipinos getting condescendingly told “You speak good English for a Filipino” by white Americans, not knowing that their country conquered mine for 40ish years. That’s just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to misconceptons about my country and its people. have you ever felt entirely unwanted and alone? Of course. in your eyes, which is worse: rape or murder? Both are equally bad and disgusting but I’ll have to go with rape, because 1) the victim has to live with the trauma and fear for the rest of their life, 2) victims are usually too scared to speak out for fear of being judged or not being believed, and 3) victim-blaming is still a big problem today. do you understand/read shakespeare? No. When we took up Shakespeare in high school I bought the No Fear versions. would you feel comfortable living with someone that owned a gun? No. do you know anyone that lives in a foreign country? Tons.

#survey #surveys

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haila-wetyios · 5 years

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Raiding

Since it became a pretty long post, Imma just throw this under a Read More. It’s not about current tumblr drama fashion. So no popcorn scene for you peeps. Just my experience as a whole and to finally let go of a few feelings that kept weighting on me for a good while until my current team took me in.

The first time I ever advertised on a PF that I was seeking a raid team, was during the final months of ARR. I was a complete scaredy cat, anxious of whether I'd be good enough to work on a team that required more coordination than pugs to get things such as extreme primals or savage raids done. Off I go as a SMN main, panicked as my raid leader of that team joined my party for a brief interview. Afterwards though, during our first joint team efforts for HW content (Ravanna and Bismark extreme at that time) I discovered that I wasn't as bad as I thought. On the contrary, I was too perceptive of everything to the point I would rush to do mechanics assigned to our newbie healer who after several explanations would still not do the thing. Despite my huge insecurities of probably not doing the relevant rotations down to the last skill, my ego started to rise a bit when parsers started to take more and more of conversations between static members. And although I would never ask about my numbers directly, I would celebrate in silence when reading the overall party dps the moment I realized mine had been at the top even with a ninja and a dragoon in the party. That should have been a flag to me now that I look back for being a caster that was doing more damage than the melee. But I didn't know any better, and stayed with my group regardless throughout the entirety of gordias savage. Every week would be the same pummeling against the horrifying Faust dps check, then the first turn's boss, then the second turn until we finally hit the wall of jigglyman and disbanded. I didn't have much complains, despite how tiring it was, I had long since given up on those clears and instead turned each night into 'training to see how long I can last the moment shit hits the fan in any given fight'. And boy did I get a ton of experience down that lane.

The next times I started looking into content once more, I could only play the part of a sub for any group of people I trusted due to life and time issues. But I still took pride in being that one stable sub that could support any group on any extreme primal through HW. I still lament that I was never able to go through Midas and Alexander savage when they were relevant and merely watched from the sidelines.

Then SB came up, and I merely stood aside once more for the first Tier with Exdeath. Except this time, the frustrations of not having been there while I watched all my friends start doing EX's and savage content had finally gotten to me. And lo' and behold, suddenly I was back on square 1, trembling in fear while waiting on my PF announcement that I was looking for a group for Sigma (Kefka times). Nearly died the moment I had two people with interesting names join in my party and just grab me on the spot. I had no idea what I was getting into, they mentioned they just needed a caster slot for the new rag tag group they had built, but at least I had a team! Then the first day of raid came up, and right off the bat I was terrified at the fact that our raid leader was missing, being replaced just for that moment with the FC leader instead. Turns out my entire group save for the ninja, were a raiding FC with multiple groups going in through the week. And what was the first comment of the night pray tell? Well "No one should be here with X ilvl gear." Who was it aimed at? Well, to the only potato that for the first time was slightly outdated in 2 pieces of gear for not being active before the patch dropped. That was the moment that marked my spiraling down a rabbit hole that I wish I could let go of easily but still has a tight grip on me to this day.

I felt like crap, I fought my best and did research on how to be a better caster. Other than the FC leader's comment, no one berated me or spoke about me on a negative light. But it still left a mark in which I kept trying to prove myself and be useful. Suddenly I would find myself cursing at my skills. Hating how no matter how hard I tried with everything, I would never be able to even pass the goddamned Stone, Sky and Sea for savage raids. But we were still getting things done. Two new savage turns down in a single week of release? That felt incredible and also bittersweet. Because any time that my party members celebrated their purples and golds in fflogs, I would be in a corner, self destructing with greys. I kept trying and trying, until my coping mechanism ended up being "I'm just a fill in. But if I'm just this, I'm damn going to do a job stable enough to have a place here." Then things started turning out easier to deal with. I had noticed the goofiness of a lot of the members despite the numbers that dictated their runs, I gave up on my grey numbers and focused on getting their asses up if someone made a mistake. To support the healers as much as possible with mana shift and such. I started putting my experience of keeping the party alive to more use while I slowly tried to recover the confidence I had lost when starting the tier. Granted, they didn't care for the group as much as I did. No amount of hanging out after raid times or helping was enough for the few in charge to announce when we were done raiding after months of being together. They just stopped one day until their FC leader asked me if I was aware of the 'disbanding'.

Then it was time to switch gears, for the first time I thought my work had bore fruit when I was recruited into the FC leader's group instead, and all was well.... Until it wasn't, we kept having to replace members left and right, specially healers and tanks. Progress was slow, sometimes we’d clear Chaos and Midgarsormr, and others it would be a mess depending on the random team comp we had for the week. Things should have been better by the time we made it to Omega, half the party had cleared with their mains after all. Except that it was the point where everything went south in the background.

We had gained a good White Mage, who would complain about random jibber jabber every now and then, but that was fine, no biggie. Then they brought in their former co-healer from their previous static, a Scholar, and all was supposed to be fine. But then something happened that slowly started to wear us all out. For some reason, we suddenly were struggling some more with Midgarsormr, and then Omega.... Boy, even if we had previously cleared, suddenly the three days with 3 hours of raid time each went on on that goddamned turn, and then the final 15 min would go for Omega Male and Female and the reason was hard to tell at first, we were doing the same old after all. It wasn’t until nearly a month of wiping that probably the group had started to realize what was wrong. Our Scholar wasn’t exactly pulling his full weight.

This is what caused probably something that I should have seen coming and that stuck with me for a long while until now that I found this draft I worked on when the wound became fresh again from just thinking about it. It’s just frustrating, sad to a degree and I brought part of it on myself for trying so hard to be useful to no one. What happened? Well, the leader didn’t want to get involved into any drama by only kicking the Scholar because they were friends with the White Mage, so a disbanding was supposed to be the better way to end things. Except the leader decided to do it in a different and up to date still a very shitty fashion.

Right after we’d finished the last raiding night for the week, he posted an announcement about how people, aka his FC members were tired of constantly bashing their heads against Omega with little success and so they were gonna reform. By kicking the only outsiders of the static team. The White Mage, the Scholar, and me. There was no further explanation, no messages to me, nothing. I was just tossed like that after +6 months of knowing this FC and having raided and hung out with a good chunk of their members. I’d sacrificed so much for them. My time, my confidence to a degree, I had been a slave to their parsers more than a few occasions each time I heard them celebrating or complaining about their numbers. All because I wanted to feel like I could stand on the same levels as them. And I did to a good degree. I reached a point where I knew that my abilities weren’t as bad as the greys on my numbers showed me. But it meant nothing to any of them in the end. No message from the leader that up to that point had kept communication with me for raid times and other stuff. No reaction from the peeps I’d raided the most with.

The most ironic part that I still respect? The only person to apologize, the only one that actually took the time to send me a message after the whole group ‘disbanded’ was the dragoon that I had only ever heard speak about their golden parses and nothing else on discord. We hadn’t even talked up until then. But he still cared more than the people that had known me for longer in that group. Granted, I did get to throw at least a cent in the raid channel about what I thought before getting kicked, so he probably wanted to come out clean on that.

I am glad to no avail that I will never have to see them again, because the server splits sent them to a different data center. But it still left a deep mark on me when it came to XIV. I stopped logging in to do any content for a while, focused more on screenshots, on shady flower lady times until I could learn to love the game again. It probably took longer than I would have liked because all of this happened at the exact time that my friends from my crew had dived into raiding at a deeper level. I got to see them celebrate clearing the final omega. Then server transferring to be with their static before the great split or quitting. And then with Shadowbringers hearing “We’re not looking for a dps caster slot.” Each time anyone needed a fill in for their group.

All this left me at an odd spot, being the veteran that keeps up groups or dungeons on normal modes, but having a hard time trying to get back into my niches in the game. My way of getting through raid had been to think of myself as being replaceable or worthless, but still trying to keep my hope that I’m actually valuable. Getting through all of it alone is not the solution now that I can let go of that bitterness of not being appreciated even as a person. I just happened to get a random chance to try out filling in for a group for a friend. But it wasn’t that what helped me the most both to be back on raids and to have finally built back my confidence. They probably didn’t think that I would check, but I’m the curious kind. Specially when you join a discord that has brief mentions of you on the recent chat. And seeing them mention me, and then vouching over my skills as a player, and how I was their first friend in the server? Well, despite having trouble expressing any feelings myself most of the time, when I get to think of it, you have no idea how much it meant to me.

I managed to get back on what I like and enjoy most of what I do after deciding to take another leap of faith and join this group despite my stigma. Granted, mentions of parses and all will always be there. But not letting them define you, and believing in what you can and can’t do in content, I think is the best choice you can make to have a healthy experience and enjoy yourself as much as possible.

#personal #FFXIV #Raiding can be fun or leave a bad mark on you depending on how you go about it #long post #When I first wrote this it looked more like a rant so off it went to drafts #But its really just my experience overall now that I re read it and added two more cents in it

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tomo-tron · 5 years

Text

My experience growing up as an Artist (and trying to get a job)

Buckle up, it’s a long one.

I’ve never really thought about doing an actual written blog entry on here before as I’ve normally not really had much to say and prefer to talk about my work. But I thought it could be helpful to share my personal experiences of trying to get work post-university from the perspective of an illustrator/artist. This could be helpful to you if you’ve just graduated, are thinking of doing a course at uni or are currently freelance and are wondering how to get your first break in a full-time art job. Emphasis on could.

So for those of you who’ve never met me (which is pretty much 99%+ of my followers), I’ve always drawn characters from games and comics etc. If I saw a character that blew my mind as a kid, I drew them. I had a big, lined, A4 notebook and drew in with biro pen. I drew in class when I wasn’t supposed to. I drew in my weekly planner for lessons (where you were supposed to write homework and deadlines etc) and then got into detentions because of them where I was even made to go through and cover them all up using paper and glue...Art at secondary school DID NOT help me. At all. A lot of schools don’t understand/recognise the games/comic/entertainment industry (or at least seemingly prestigious ones from the north where people make money by farming and/or settling into a mundane plane of conformative existence revolving around having kids way too early and peaking before you’re 25 before forever there after living in a bubble safely tucked away from the rest of the world and society). To be fair, schools have to cover a potentially very broad spectrum and kids don’t always know what’s best for them and where they want to end up. But sometimes kids DO know where they want to end up. To also be fair, my art teachers could see that fine art wasn’t my thing and that I was technically a good artist when it came to drawing, so they sort of gave me a lot of leeway when it came to work guidelines (one of my main teachers also looked and acted like Dean McCoppin from Iron Giant which was pretty much the best thing that could have happened there).

Anyway, moving onto University. In the UK, 2011 was the year the university fees basically tripled...The work I did at that school didn’t really help me much when applying for places. No one I knew wanted to do anything similar. And there were no adults who had any idea what I needed to do to get to the places I wanted either. So I was on my own. Suffice to say I failed at getting onto a 3 year course (which I’ve always imagined was potentially due to increased demand just before the fees went up). The lecturer doing a portfolio review with me said I had “too many werewolves” and the less said about all of that the better. I think maybe there was two werewolves, done in the same style the point of which being that one was male and one was female and I’d tried to make that visually evident. However, I was offered a place on a 1 year Art and Design course (yay...). Ironically, the foundation course turned out to pretty much help me un-learn EVERYTHING that I had spent the last 7 years being told to do. Crazy right? It annoyed me that I had to spend an extra year there (though not from the social point of view and uni life) and straight after the course, I finally began a 3 year Illustration and Animation course.

At 20 y/o (a year later than most) I started my 3 year course. I won’t say too much about the course itself as there’s a slight conflict of interest in regards to me potentially going back to lecture there soon. But in those 3 years, I gradually felt more and more comfortable to focus on producing work that I always felt I was supposed to be doing. Nothing great came out of my first year, the second year was arguably better/more professional and then finally in my third year I created a 26 page comic about monsters (which I drafted a good friend in to write the script for, bearing in mind he was on a course at the time too) which I called “Stubble” and it was the pinnacle of my artist achievements. It was a comic, but I had really developed these two characters from fairly in-cohesive and random creatures with rubber tire armour and boring shapes/silhouettes to these very much simplified, strange, stubble-y polar opposites of one another. So I figured that the ability to create characters and demonstrate that, would help get me into the games industry regardless, if I wanted to go that route.

Then we had the end of year exhibition where we could showcase our final major projects. This got me noticed by a nearby toy design company in the area. It was exactly what I’d always hoped would happen, a job offer fresh out of university. They loved my work and I did a small-ish art test for them before being invited to a job interview that went really well. Their only major concern was my art style and whether I could adapt it appropriately for the sort of work they did. I was 23 y/o at the time, I was still no expert and hadn’t spent a whole lot of time doing product design on my non-product design based course (surprise surprise). I didn’t hear back from them for a while and because I’d never applied to salaried jobs before, I just thought it was the norm. I moved to London with my then gf and pretty much lost all motivation artistically when faced with the real world and trying to make ends meet in the most expensive part of the UK as a poor ass ex-student. Six months later, they got back to me. It was a no. They wanted to stress I was very much in the running along with 2 other applicants and choosing between the 3 of us had been the subject of much debate. So that sucked. And then not long after my long-term relationship fell apart which was a nice addition so I was back to square one at home with mummy and daddy and a seemingly useless degree.

Thankfully, I had made some good friends who were still studying at my university and staying to live in the area afterwards to get work (they were all car designers). So at 24 y/o I pretty much begged them to let me move in with them so I could regain some independence and start again. I should probably mention that freelance work had been coming in post-uni in dribs and drabs. I was doing the work when I found it, but it was few and far between and not really helping me to create a uniform portfolio. I was applying to concept art and character art jobs where ever I could find them the whole time, despite really not having the portfolio to back them up because it was filled with irrelevant work such as cartoon cats I was doing for a legitimately crazy cat lady who was supposedly running a charity (but years later came to the conclusion she was more of an opportunist perpetually trying to reclaim her lost wealth and the life it had afforded her). I managed to end up working for Marvel and Lego which was weird. Though technically it wasn’t directly with either as the Marvel work was for a company who owned the rights to create licensed trading cards on Marvel’s behalf and the Lego job was outsourced to me through an agency that did media production and stuff for other companies. People always say to me “but the fact is you worked for Marvel and Lego”, and maybe it’s impostor syndrome speaking, but I don’t think they fully understand the way that kind of work...works (which is fine, but also perhaps trust the guy who’s been doing this for a living). I’d say I worked for Lego more legitimately than I did for Marvel.

24/25 y/o and my confidence was taking a beating. I kept thinking how it was never meant to be this hard (getting a job). I’d been told by pretty much everyone I’d ever met, professional and otherwise, that I was talented and yet I wasn’t getting anywhere. Add to that the fact I was having to watch all my friends find work in their chosen fields easily and I’m honestly surprised I didn’t have/haven’t had a mental break down of some sort (especially after seeing how some people my age reacted to small periods of uncertainty). I DIGRESS, I started getting bolder with my applications and began sending them to places I thought were too good for me anyway and that would need me to be some sort of artistic veteran to even stand a chance at being considered. I’d mostly stuck to companies within the UK at this point, but I was having to move further afield because I’d exhausted what seemed to be every single games company the UK had to offer and felt like my work was more appropriate for what I deemed to be as bolder and more imaginative US companies. At the time, I was obsessed with League of Legends and had begun to learn about the company behind them, Riot Games. So I thought “fuck it” and I sent an application to their studio in Hong Kong despite being terrified by the prospect of moving there. And guess what?

They got back to me.

Again, I don’t want to go into too much detail. But let’s just say I did another art test for this one. And then another. And then another. And then also another. I didn’t have a job, I was relying on my incredibly unreliable freelance work but pretty much prioritising the application process over everything else going on in my life. I was doing good work in my mind, quantity AND quality, the best of both worlds. I was pushing myself to get into a design frame of mind and applying my extensive knowledge of League of Legends to solve problems that I knew needed addressing in the best way I could.

You can see where this is going.

I didn’t get the job. I found out midday as I recall, which meant I had the whole day to wallow in self pity. But hey, I had a heap of new work for my portfolio. I was proud of it all for a few months at least and now I just feel like I have to include it in my portfolio because of how extensive it was and how much I threw myself at it. I realise now that quantity isn’t always the best thing. And I will never ever ever again draw that many iterations of a character in pencil with nice line work. It was a dumb way to work and it was slow as hell. You don’t focus on line work when you’re trying to develop ideas at an early stage, even if you’re trying to impress a big company. Part of the job is narrowing down ideas. But at the time I didn’t feel that it was my place to say what was and wasn’t good as I was trying to get in to a entry-level role and was expecting someone to make those decisions for me. I was the grunt, they were the overlord. Several months is a lot of time to exchange for a fairly simple lesson. Especially when you feel like you’re trying to play catch up in life and are now 2 years behind everyone else your age. But I’ve got to stress that I wasn’t an expert, I was still young and unlike most other people I knew, I literally had no one to advise me/ look to for tips. Which I think is something pretty much most artists go through at some point in their life seeing as we all end up pretty secluded.

The thing is, I felt obligated to share the work I did from that application because it’s unfair to ask someone to invest so much (UNPAID) time and effort into something without letting them then use that to further their job hunt if you’re to turn them down. Art tests in general are unfair. Apply the idea of an unpaid test to most other areas of employment - marketing, banking (even bar tender jobs will pay you half the standard rate if they’re trailing you for the day) and people generally respond with something like “yeah I wouldn’t do something like that unless I was paid”. Because it comes across like you don’t respect yourself. And yet that is unfortunately the world we live in as artists.

Moving on. Still 25 y/o going on 26, after posting pretty much all of that work on this very blog and whilst on holiday, I got an email from a guy called Ben saying he was from Riot Games and wondered if I wanted to collaborate on a comic together. I’d become accustomed to the word “collaborate” being synonymous with “free” so I was initially sceptical and didn’t think much of it. Instead turning my attention to the shrimps I was bbqing and jokingly telling my friends that some schmuck wanted to get free work out of me again. However, it began to become more real and eventually I understood that it was going to be a real job. Still freelance, but real. And for one of my favourite companies as well. I became one of 4 artists making web comics for Riot at the time and became pretty good friends with Ben. We made “Olaf Vs Everything” whilst the other horsemen of Ben’s apocalypse made “Crystal Quest”, “Academy Adventures” and “Punches and Plants” with him. It wasn’t perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but we had fun and did what we could with the limitations of the gig. Season 1 of the comic turned into season 2 and things seemed to be picking up. I was networking and making friends with like-minded artists across the world and suddenly didn’t feel so alone anymore.

I was super lucky to get invited to Riot’s HQ in L.A. along with a bunch of these other artists as part of Riot’s first Art Lab. It was a really crazy time in my life and didn’t quite feel real (sort of still doesn’t). I suddenly felt like I had something to back up my abilities to the friends and family around me and for once wasn’t a huge failure in my chosen field. It was a nice feeling and impostor syndrome definitely went away that week.

That was over a year ago now, which is nuts. But I still know all these guys (and more). They’re a very talented bunch and for the most part, it seems like we’re all watching each other grow and actively try to get our dream jobs. Unlike the majority of artists I met at university, who seemed to only be in it for the qualification and have long since given up pursuing a career as artists. But don’t get me wrong, there were definitely some talented folks who made it work and some who really deserved to but I don’t think have done. Skip forward a bit and I actually started work as a part-time lecturer at my university in 2018, teaching the students taking the same course I did all those years ago. Working with the lecturer who 6/7 years prior had said my portfolio had too many werewolves in it (it’s some sort of running joke). It’s nice to see that they seem to be slightly more thirsty for knowledge than my year group was. The quality of their work is also a better I’d say. More diverse. And every single one of them has a drawing tablet in their first year (most of my year group didn’t get them until 2nd year, some never did).

And now...

I spent the last few months actively sending out applications for concept art jobs again with my portfolio now containing my Artstation King Arthur competition entry in it (which has been helping me out more than I thought it would and you can see here: www.artstation.com/artwork/nQLePX). Side note - do an Artstation challenge if you can, they can be fun, push you and look great in your portfolio/cover letter. I found a job I really really really wanted that was nearby. It ticked all the boxes and almost seemed too good to be true. I did the procedural art test (unpaid of course) and had an interview. Everything felt good. Didn’t get the job. This time seemingly because of not being able to start immediately, despite the fact that all commitments I had had lined up for the next 2 months were completely cancellable. You can’t make this stuff up. So from now on, I will habitually write in capital letters on my cover letters “I CAN START IMMEDIATELY, I DON’T EVEN CARE IF I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE STREETS IN BETWEEN WORK DAYS UNTIL I CAN FIND ACCOMMODATION, I’LL MAKE SURE I CLEAN MY TEETH BEFORE I COME IN AT THE VERY LEAST” as well as potentially screaming the word “IMMEEEEEDIATELYYYY” at any future interviewers upon hearing a “when can you start” related question. I would advise you to do the same. Well maybe not exactly the same, but y’know, just make sure they know you can start immediately. Bums in seats. Being able to start sooner = more important than being a good fit (sometimes anyway, so take that into consideration).

I’ve mostly spent this past year realising that if I ever want to have a moderately “normal” life (aka having disposable income) then I had to give up doing comics in favour of concept art. I’d already felt that way for a long time, but this year I’ve actively avoided committing to big comic projects because they simply aren’t worth the time and effort in most cases. And to note, I did have a completely separate portfolio of comic page samples I sent out to publishers in an effort to up my game and I got absolutely no where. I’m not trying to dissuade any one else from succeeding where I’ve failed by any means. But you have to be prepared to fail a lot and if you can deal with that then by all means you should try. But for me, I really don’t like the prospect of taking a huge backwards step at this point in life, and by that I mean moving back home where it’s rent-free. Perseverance is an admirable trait. Persevering despite overwhelming odds. And though there is a very big difference between quitting and knowing when to quit, I think artists more so than any other profession don’t really know how to quit. Which is a pretty brave thing in most cases. Meanwhile, with each year that passes I feel like I can relate more and more to episodes of the Simpsons where Bart and Lisa were all grown up and the major difference between the two career-wise. I love (ew grosss) my younger sister, don’t get me wrong (and don’t tell her) but she’s starting to make me look bad ahah.

Next month I’m going to be doing a crash course at Escape Studios in London learning how to model/sculpt and animate a character of my own design in roughly 4 weeks. I’m hoping that broadening my skill set to 3D will increase my employability. It will at the very least mean I can eventually apply to character art jobs and stand a chance. However, after that course I am potentially going to look for part-time/full-time work in an unrelated field of work because I don’t really have a choice.

I will keep looking for the concept art/ character art job out there that I know I’ll be good at. Because I’m in this for the long haul. And if you are as well, then I wish you the very best of luck and hope that something I’ve written here may help you out.

Your hairy neighbourhood friend,

- Tom

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swhurtcomfort · 6 years

Text

(Just curious, are these from the same anon or do you two just think alike? Either way, good luck with your exams, hope you enjoy -- Leslie)

Lessons Learned

The first time Ahsoka wakes, someone is there. There is a gentle hand resting on top of hers and a soft voice conversing quietly with the medical droid. Master Obi-Wan, she realizes. He doesn’t seem to notice that she’s awake. She doesn’t know where she is, but she is too sleepy to find out.

ii.

The second time Ahsoka wakes is perhaps an hour later, but she is alone. She hears steady beeps and breathes in the clean, airy smell of the Halls of Healing. She is home, then. She vaguely remembers riding in an ambulance-speeder.

Ahsoka sits up and her right arm thumps against her chest in a sling.

It’s strange to be alone in the Halls of Healing. It’s not that she wants her master or grandmaster to coddle her like a youngling, it’s just that they would normally be here.

Med droids come and go, but it’s almost half an hour before Master Obi-Wan appears.

“No one told me you were awake,” he whispers by way of greeting. There’s something in his body language as he sits down that makes Ahsoka nervous.

“I can’t stay long,” he adds. “But I’m glad to see that you’re okay.”

“Is it…broken?” Ahsoka asks, lifting her arm.

“Do you remember Luminara talking to you before the surgery?”

Ahsoka shook her head.

“I’m not surprised. You seemed fairly out of it,” said Obi-Wan. “You broke both bones in your wrist. They put you under and set it with some durasteel pins.”

Ahsoka nods, accepting this information. “I know I shouldn’t have chased after that shuttle,” she says with a sheepish smile. She and Anakin had chased their target all the way from the Senate building only to lose him in the chaos of the airtraffic lanes. Anakin had surprised her, and told her to let him go. Ahsoka had defied him and pursued the spy, and, evidently, injured herself in the attempt.

“Is Anakin upset with me?”

“Anakin is down the corridor,” Master Obi-Wan says slowly. “In critical condition.”

No.

iii.

Master Obi-Wan leaves again soon, full of cold politeness that makes it hard to judge whether he is angry or just tired and worried. They say he hasn’t left Anakin’s bedside since the accident except to check on Ahsoka while she was in post-op.

The horrible, twisting pit in Ahsoka’s stomach only deepens as she reads the report which Obi-Wan has already drafted for the Council. It says, among other details of the mission, that Anakin was crushed between two speeders as he flew over three lanes of airtraffic trying to reach Ahsoka. The report does not mention that Ahsoka was on top of a moving airshuttle, chasing the spy she had been explicitly ordered not to pursue. That Anakin had tried to stop her. That she had fallen from the shuttle, almost to her death.

The sensation of freefall feels like it never left. She is still trapped in desperate, tingling panic. He was trying to save me. If I had just listened—

Ahsoka is released as soon as the anesthesia has worn off, and immediately tracks down Barriss, who has been helping Master Luminara.

“They expect him to survive,” Barriss says gently.

The fact that this is an expectation, not a certainty, sends Ahsoka reeling.

Barriss tries to explain that a collapsed lung, badly bruised kidneys, or a fractured spinal disc are all survivable in isolation but combined together with significant blood loss and shock they can be dangerous, but that’s not what Ahsoka needs to hear.

She stops to lean against the wall. It’s my fault, oh Force,

“He’s only supposed to have one visitor at a time,” says Barriss uncomfortably when they reach Anakin’s room and see that Master Obi-Wan is still there.

“It’s alright, Barriss, let her in,” says Master Luminara. Obi-Wan does not acknowledge them as they enter.

Anakin is deep in a healing trance, immobilized with a neck brace and multiple casts. A tube protrudes from the lower left quadrant of his chest, draining air that escaped from his injured lung; his face is pale and bruised and obscured by an oxygen mask.

The healers are keeping a close eye on him, but there are inevitably moments when Obi-Wan and Ahsoka are alone in the room, and the silence becomes suffocating.

iv.

Once the silence is broken, it’s like floodgates have caved in.

“You’ve gone too far this time, Ahsoka. What were you thinking?”

“I didn’t think he would follow me, I’m sorry,”

“Of course he wasn’t going to stand back and watch you get killed.”

“I said sorry—“

“I was always afraid something like this would happen to him,” Obi-Wan snarls. “But I assumed he’d be the reckless idiot who brought it on himself.”

‘Idiot’ stings, and although one part of Ahsoka accepts the blow as though she deserves it, another part of her bubbles up in anger. “Master, you have no right—”

“Nope,” Luminara snaps as she enters the room, laying a hand on Ahsoka’s shoulder and steering her towards the door. “Absolutely unacceptable. If you are going to raise your voices, you may leave.”

“Thank you,” says Obi-Wan, sitting back down with a huff.

“You too, Obi-Wan,” Luminara shoots back. “You two can go argue somewhere else, or have some time apart, figure it out. We will take good care of Anakin.”

“He is my padawan,” Obi-Wan hisses.

“He’s my patient,” she counters, matching his tone.

Anakin makes it through the night.

Barriss tells Ahsoka that the danger has passed, that his lung is mending and all his fractures and bruises will clear up with time. It will be a long, painful recovery. Ahsoka swallows hard.

Anakin is awake when she is allowed in. She doesn’t know what to say.

“Snips,” he gasps. He’s still on oxygen, but they’ve moved him down from the whole mask to just a nasal cannula. Although Ahsoka doesn’t see the significance, Barriss insists that’s good news.

“I’m sorry,” she says tearfully.

“What, for this?” He’s a bit spacey and not fully there, Ahsoka notices. “Forget about it. They’re giving me the good meds, I feel nothing.”

His blood oxygen level fluctuates wildly as he talks. He takes a sharp breath and it stabilizes again.

“It should have been me,” Ahsoka whispers.

“Like I would let that happen. Listen Snips, we’ve all made shitty judgement calls. This could have happened to anybody.”

“I think Master Obi-Wan hates me.”

For some reason, that makes Anakin chuckle.

vi.

Ahsoka is quite used to hearing her master curse, but the following weeks are a whole new level. Anakin’s good spirits don’t last long once the healers release him and he sets about the grueling task of getting better. Sitting up is hell on his back and neck, but then again, so is lying down and standing and pretty much just existing in general. His day is defined by when each dose of pain medication is due.

Obi-Wan is there to bring him food and help him transfer and get to the ‘fresher and back, and once Ahsoka’s wrist brace comes off she pitches in too. He finally reaches a point where he can hobble short distances, but it’s hard for him to put pressure on his spine or do anything for a prolonged time, even just standing up in the shower.

Obi-Wan isn’t home one afternoon when Ahsoka hears the water shut off in the ‘fresher, followed by a nervous call of, “Obi-Wan?”

Ahsoka follows the call to the ‘fresher door, then hesitates. “He’s not here. What is it, Master?”

“Could you come in? Don’t worry, I’m decent.”

He’s sitting leaned against the outside of the tub, wrapped in a towel.

“I’m sorry, Snips, I thought I could do it, but—” He pauses, embarrassed. “I can’t reach my arms up high enough to wash my hair. I’d wait for Obi-Wan, but I already drew the bath, and…,”

“It’s alright,” Ahsoka says quickly, trying to sound more confident that she feels. “I can help,”

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles again as Ahsoka carefully has him lean his head back under the faucet and lathers the shampoo through his hair.

“Do you need help rinsing it too?”

“No, I usually just sit under the shower head. You can go now. I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing, Master. I want to help.”

“You’re uncomfortable.”

There’s no point in denying that.

“If you need anything else…”

“I’ll holler. Yes, thank you.”

vii.

Anakin awkwardly shuffles into the kitchen where Ahsoka is doing homework, and sits himself down next to her.

“Obi-Wan says we need to talk about what happened,” he states.

Ahsoka almost says something snarky. It’s ironic that Obi-Wan wants them to talk when he’s barely said two words to Ahsoka in weeks.

“I really am sorry, Master. I wasn’t thinking about the consequences. I just wanted to catch him.”

“I did too. But Ahsoka, he wasn’t worth it. We both could have died.”

“I know.”

“Obi-Wan was harsh with you because he was scared that he could have lost both of us. He doesn’t say that kind of stuff because he thinks it sounds like an attachment, so he just comes off as angry.”

Ahsoka nods. Then she looks up to meet Anakin’s gaze carefully. “Are you angry with me too?”

“I was a little bit,” Anakin admits. “But I think the past few weeks have given you an up-close-and-personal look at what the costs of that kind of recklessness can be. I don’t think you’ll make this mistake again.”

“No!” Ahsoka assures him quickly.

“Then I’ve taught you something. See, I’m great at this.”

He clearly wants her to laugh, so she makes an attempt.

Ahsoka is used to her master couching uncomfortable topics in humor, but she sees that he is sincere.

“I’m sorry,” Ahsoka says. “For not listening to you, and I’m extra sorry that you got hurt.”

“You can stop saying that,”

“No I can’t.”

“I forgive you, Snips. Does that help?” Anakin pushes the table further away and reaches out to hug her. The range of movement in his arms is restricted, so she has to meet him halfway.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers again, and Anakin hugs her tighter.

#ahsoka #anakin skywalker #obi-wan kenobi #star wars #hurt/comfort #anakin whump #TCW era #lessons learned #please don't tag as anisoka she is smol #anon #Lpost

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auburnfamilynews · 4 years

Link

John David Mercer-USA TODAY Sports

Trying to make sense of the last 24 hours.

If you stayed up on a Sunday night, you probably saw the beginnings of what may end up becoming the death rattle for college football as we know it.

When word started leaking out over the weekend that the Power Five conferences were all going to shutter the sport for the fall season, everything exploded. No real information got out. Rumor. Deceit. Everywhere. After the MAC canceled its season on Friday, we heard that P5 athletic directors, presidents, and chancellors had gotten together and were going to up and cancel the season for the rest of the country as well.

Yesterday morning, that gained momentum, with some saying that the Big Ten and PAC-12 would be canceling as early as Tuesday. Spoiler alert: it happened today for the Midwesterners.

View post on imgur.com

What might have been a meek exit into a blurry and continuing offseason turned upside down last night when Trevor Lawrence, maybe the nation’s most notable player and surefire top pick in the next NFL Draft, took to Twitter.

People are at just as much, if not more risk, if we don’t play. Players will all be sent home to their own communities where social distancing is highly unlikely and medical care and expenses will be placed on the families if they were to contract covid19 (1)

— Trevor Lawrence (@Trevorlawrencee) August 9, 2020

After his reasoning on why he’d like to play college football this year, we got this at midnight Eastern time.

#WeWantToPlay pic.twitter.com/jvQhE7noGB

— Trevor Lawrence (@Trevorlawrencee) August 10, 2020

It began as the nation’s most valuable player expressing his personal thoughts, but before the clock turned to Monday, it had become a full-blown grassroots players union. The hashtag #WeWantToPlay scattered across Twitter from notable players like Justin Fields and Chuba Hubbard, not to mention many others in leagues threatening to cancel.

The reasons for wanting to play aren’t dumb. They’re not dangerous. Many schools touting the danger of playing college football are sending students back for in-person learning. It’s no more of a risk to play football than it is to sit in a classroom or live in a dorm. The athletes would be in better hands than your average students, too. Testing multiple times a week, days before games, and having less time to get out into the world where you could contract the virus.

That’s not to say that the players should be forced to step onto the field. Auburn’s already had two holdouts for the 2020 season (if it happens) in Chandler Wooten and Traivon Leonard. I don’t fault either one. Wooten’s got a child on the way, and Leonard had the virus already. In this totally oddball situation, administrators are finally having to give way to what the players want.

You notice that nobody talked about canceling football ahead of players reporting for summer camps and workouts. You notice that the first time an athlete came back to the team and tested positive for the virus, administrators didn’t quake with fear and call for a blanket ban on the sport this year. It was only when whispers of player unity came about that things got serious. Let’s not make the mistake of believing that player safety is the number one issue at stake here. We’re moving closer and closer to a non-amateur sport, where players have more power than ever. The NIL legislation that’s been passed in many states recently speaks to that. Top-flight players would be able to make millions in college by selling their name, or endorsing a product (what I would have given to see Kerryon Johnson endorse the Magnolia Street Chick Fila), and their profitability won’t just be owned by the school anymore.

The repercussions of that avenue haven’t really been discussed much in a public forum yet, but eventually players would be made employees. They’d be able to be fired for underperformance. You know how a kicker in the NFL loses his job for missing a couple field goals in a game? Get ready for Alabama to have a revolving door of new guys coming in to try and reverse the goalpost voodoo that Nick Saban’s enacted.

Still, it would be right for the players to be able to do these things. Every other student can profit off of their image while in school. Why can’t athletes?

That’s a bit of a ramble on the road we’re going down based on last night, but let’s get back to fact. The Big Ten has canceled football for the fall. It was a 12-2 vote with Nebraska and Iowa standing as dissenting opinions. No word yet from the PAC-12, but the Big 12, ACC, and SEC are all still wanting to play. You can bet that the SEC will be the absolute last one to cancel, and honestly, they don’t have to lean on anything that the other conferences are doing in the slightest. When the rest of the leagues postpone, the SEC’s product becomes more valuable. You’ve already got players on campus. You’ve already got support from the players to play. It’s not wild to think that the old Jefferson Pilot game of the week between Kentucky and Vanderbilt at 11 AM draws millions of viewers in this situation.

Imagine what happens when LSU and Alabama play, or when the Iron Bowl rolls around. On network television? It’s the highest watched football game of all time.

But what if the SEC follows suit?

Well, we have absolutely no way of knowing the particulars in a deal like this, but here are possible repercussions for Auburn:

Assuming they just call the season a wash and pick up in 2021 instead of just delaying it, would we somehow skip going to Tuscaloosa and Athens?

Georgia’s going to have a generational defense and a ton of young talent on offense, and we just can’t make it happen in Athens. Alabama’s looking for revenge after last year, and while they lost a bunch as well, they’ll just reload. Not looking forward to heading there either. If the season got canned, both of those teams would have so many guys bolt for the NFL Draft and neither school would see a single bit of return off of them. Auburn’s not going to have the same problem at the same level.

When we return to the field in 2021, Gus Malzahn may (with some unknowns hanging in the balance) have his favorable odd-year schedule and a sophomore but really junior quarterback in Bo Nix, as well as an offensive line that’s practiced together for more than a year. If, somehow, we get no early departures to the league, then we’re a title contender off the top.

Looking at the hardwood, Bruce Pearl would have an absolutely loaded 2021-2022 roster. My goodness. Imagine the last couple of signing classes with no wear and tear. This season, Alabama might actually have a good team with the return of some of their dudes. Not having to deal with that isn’t the worst thing in the world.

HOWEVER, if they play football in the SEC, it’s going to be the most-watched season of all time. I don’t believe the SEC schools have said much in the way of number of fans allowed in the stadiums, but to be safe they may go crowd-less. You’ll have 20 million viewers for the CBS game of the week every Saturday, and it would approach national championship numbers for the big ones. Auburn-Georgia, Iron Bowl, Auburn-LSU, Cocktail Party, Alabama-LSU, Alabama-Georgia. The thing is, it wouldn’t matter. If nobody else is playing football, then we’re going to just get ten games with as many asterisks as the record books will hold. There won’t be a national champion, there won’t be a trophy at the end, it’s just going to be football. It’s gravy, house money.

This whole operation has the potential to be the dumbest endeavor ever, but doing dumb stuff is what makes college football great.

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