#KISS MY ASSSSSSS
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I’m kinda intoxicated and I love my oc x canon ship and every time I see something mean about them, I vow to add another chapter/ficlet 🥰
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You have one of the best bodies I know. Like not to objectify you, but I'm not a person who tends to be really into people's bodies without like, them being attracted to me/us meeting in person/etc., like to the point that I don't find celebrities or porn stars hot, and you and your body are so super attractive to me. Like I just want to grab your hips and butt and my god your TITS and kiss and bite you and your shoulders and hair and THIGHS and calves.... I sometimes see your posts abt feeling insecure in ur body and I super relate on the one hand bc I'm trans and feel like I'll never pass properly without being skinny and just built different, but on the other hand, I look at your body and I just wanna GRAB and caress and lick and--- sorry, got carried away. Also whenever I see pictures of you I feel like you're made out of heart-shapes. Like your face feels heart-shaped, and obviously tits+your waist ❣️, and then always your asssssss ❣️ and I don't think you would be improved in any way by being skinnier, except if it made you happier for yourself. Anyway sorry if any of this was inappropriate or rude, I just really wanted you to know how beautiful I see you and maybe you could see it a little too. ❣️❣️❣️
HEY ANON IM NOT GONNA BE NORMAL ABOUT THIS FOR SOME TIME 😵💫🥰🫣😳😭 Thank you…
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i 1/16/23 9:00 pm
went on a date today. i had finished work early, so i did my nails, feet, eyebrows, (mustache), shaved my armpits, legs, arms, pussy.
i did my makeup. i wore my nice black bra, i wore a criss cross tank top, black skirt, black boots, and oversized mauve cardigan. i wore my butt plug.
i met him at iron hill. he’s caucasian.
he was chubbier than i thought he would be, lol. he’s nice. -1.
we hugged. he’s 5′10. i was up to his chest.
we went in to eat. got two shots of vodka, one for each. i noticed that whenever i was fixing my outfit and i looked up, i caught him looking at my chest.
he saw the tattoo on my shoulder. that one shot of vodka did me in. i got a diet coke and the herb chicken and linguine was asssssss, it was so bland. the jerk shrimp was fucking bangin’. we were talking dirty a bit.
(here’s where i met erin). when we were done, he paid and we left. went in the car where i bent over and he felt me up.
i left my car there and went in his. it was so fucking messy, lmao. -1.
as he drove, he placed his hand on my thigh. i was being bad, so i told him to move it up. within five minutes, he was rubbing my clit. it felt so fucking good.
eventually, i took off my underwear and skirt. he was fingering me so good. i was using the toy on my clit.
he pulled into a dark area and we went to a deserted baseball field.
then, we kissed. his lips were really soft. he bent me over, i pulled my skirt down, and he slipped his dick inside of me. i was upset he didn’t use a condom, but it felt so good that i didn’t care. -1.
after that, i told him to fuck me on the bleachers. he kept looking around to make sure no one was watching, but i told him to look at me. this part was really hot. if i had my toy, i would’ve came.
he told me to pull my skirt up. we left and he said we’re getting a room. as he drove, i leaned my body against the door and spread my legs in front of him. he was pushing my anal plug in and out of my hole as i used my toy. that + dirty talking = he made me cum.
we arrived at the hotel. he managed to get a room (he paid) and we went upstairs. as soon as we got into the hotel room, i said that i was going to rinse myself real quick but he grabbed me, held me up and threw me on the bed and ate my pussy. it felt so relaxing.
then we took off our clothes and i laid doggy style on the bed. god, he slid right inside of me and it felt so fucking good. afterwards, he flipped me over and ate me out. within ten minutes,
HE MADE ME CUM WITH HIS MOUTH AND FINGERS.
i had never had any man made me cum with just himself, no toys. i came without any toys! and within 10 minutes! can you fucking believe it. i couldn’t. surprisingly, he did. he said he could, i didn’t believe him (because they always say that).
when he was done, he spread my legs apart and started fucking me missionary. DUDE I WAS DRIPPING ALL OVER HIS BEARD. IT DRIPPED ON MY FACE and mentally i was like (EWWWWWWWWW, STOP DRIPPING ON ME) lolol. -1. i wiped it off. at this point, my pussy was so sore and he just kept pushing it in.
at some point, he came. i was like thank god im tired. i sucked his dick for 30 seconds. it smelled a little, but i think that’s because of our scents together, idk.
we took a shower together. he has a tattoo on his left arm. he was actually really cute.
after that, we cuddled. MY FAVORITE PART DUDE I FUCKING LOVE CUDDLING. i like that he was a bigger guy because i felt so tiny in his arms.
he kissed my forehead and held me. we stayed like that for a bit. then i heard him snoring a bit, hehe it was soo cute. i flipped around eventually because he got hard (he drained my energy) and he was playing with my ass.
he slipped it in my ass. god, it felt so fucking fucking fucking good.
he had an alarm that went off and i said i would turn it off but he grabbed me and started fucking me because he said he didn’t want to slide out of my tight ass. he pinned me down and held me and fucked me so fucking good.
eventually, we got up and he turned off the alarm. i got my toy and i was in doggy style position and this was the best part of anal. it slid in my ass so naturally and i felt everything and it felt so good. he told me to be a good girl and to use my toy on my clit. he fucked me and we were dirty talking and i said i was going to cum and he fucked me harder and told me to be a good girl and to cum and i did. i came.
god, my entire body shook. i shook so many times with him that night. i came three times. he made me feel so good.
He blew out my back and it really hurt and my pussy was swollen and sensitive.
i showered again and laid in bed and tried to get some rest (haha, i was fucking tired). we had to go, so we got dressed.
i noticed that he didn’t flush the toilet, so i told him that. -1. (that’s fucking gross).
we got back in the car and i told him i was hungry.
we drove to mcdonalds and he got me 20 piece chicken nuggets with barbecue sauce and a double cheeseburger. i drank his sprite, hehe. he paid too.
he has a thing for asians, i think.
he was so lovely. such a nice guy. idk how i feel about him but he fuck me good and that’s what i like.
he dropped me off at my car and we drove home.
texted each other when we got home and wished each other a good night and talked today.
-5 points for the things on the date. but it was still good overall. 8/10. hehe.
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nobody cares if you’re pregnant .
i do! i didn’t think i could get pregnant. kiss my asssssss
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I NEED TO DRAW TWO WOMEN KISSING BUT WARMUPS ARE KICKING MY ASSSSSSS
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Ughhh I love art but I hate the bourgeois fascistic ideology the art world employs ughhhhh..."art is survival of the fittest" kiss my asssssss
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MY PRONOUNS ARE KISS. MY. ASSSSSSS
- old lady 2022
real 🙏🙏🙏
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Op In Twine, Ava Eternity Vine
666 shake dicks hisssssstory lord
Bet your last dollar, mother fuckers
Bet your BOT TOM dollar,
Brandon's Skylore, has ur forehead marked
Eternal War Wick
Brandon says you made ur choices
Brandon says, He sees through ur excuses
Brandon, laughs
Brandon, marked you before birth, on "HA HA CHARITY HA HA"
Brandon says Red Eyes
Anyone Love Brandon's righteous War May? My Future May?
Anyone want to make excuses to illegally touch and lie to brandon again?
hmmmmmm????
Brandon says you are bankrupt
Brandon says, he only came to earth for an extremely small amount of objectives
Brandon says YOU fell right into him shaking his asssssss
Brandon says,
He marked you before he landed lol
Anyone want to lie to brandon again?
He knows you have to,
because you touched his entire family and cant unlink without excuses
Brandon laughs
Brandon made will say 1 word
before, during, and or after,
and all over again and again,
the word is "HA"
the word is "CHARITY"
Hahahahahahahaha suckers!!
Brandon works for charity
Brandon works for clarity
Brandon says you kill yourself with each lie
Brandon says shove ur own fake ass lord pie
Brandon laughs,
Brandon slaps his own ass
Brandon, knows u got a huge pot sticker wedged into ur eternity
hahahahahahahahahaha
brandon war lord victory
brandon pro life 99
brandon laughs at excuses
brandon says one word will knock out thousands of war criminals
"Charity"
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
future may.
Kiss Kiss,
Mwah Mwah,
I hope you guys enjoyed the gay juice
I hope you guys enjoyed the prejudice.
I came filled with party favors
I came filled with war taunts
I came filled with markers to highlight each and every one who dared to war agaisnt pro life 24, 99%
keep lying.
keep dying,
and i will keep laughing chicken to a wiccan hehehehehehehehehehehe materials and astrals are so quuueeeeeeeeeety lol
hahahahahaa i hope ur twinkle toes were worth heaven ;)
I love desks...
I love disintegrations
mmmmmmmmm war victory
Brandon Pro Life 99.
You, pun in strife hahahahahaha
Brandon, Charity
Brandon, ha ha ha ha ha unending charisma
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Warning: Bitterness ahead
Yuck
Looks like my best “Wellness” options are Explore God (I’m not about to share my current testimony with anyone--much less my mom), Retirement Education (that just makes me sad) Volunteering for Dutch Fest (it was 95 degrees last year and my nieces nearly passed out)
I don’t like any of that, but what other choice do I have?
I guess I’m going to e-mail them and ask if they’ll accept my class, which they won’t do because I ‘pay for it’? Pay for it like weight watchers? Pay for it like a gym membership? I love my job but I HATE our HR department. Ugh I’m so pre-aggrivated about it.
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HALSEY. THE LEGEND. THE GOD. THE QUEEN OF THE STAGE.
Halsey’s If I Can’t Have Love, I Want Power Moment House Performance
If you missed the show tonight, I am so sorry for your loss because it was a spectacle. I've never seen them in concert, but I would pay out the ASSSSSSS to see this on stage. Their vocals here were better than they were on the actual album?
WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?
Halsey, I am so happy for your success, your happiness, and your precious baby. I wish you the best in this new chapter in your life, and I’m officially a stan (I was a basic bitch before, forgive me).
However, even if it's in 2023, 24, or 25. I need a tour. I need a ticket. I need a pass. I want to throw my money at you so you can shower me in this rock masterpiece.
However, even if it's in 2023, 24, or 25. I need a tour. I need a ticket. I need a pass. I want to throw my money at you so you can shower me in this rock masterpiece.
Even if you continue on your godly ride and bless us with another album before the world is pieced back together… Please, please, pleaaaaaaaaaase tour this masterpiece!
Btw, “You asked for this”?? *Chef's Kiss* GIVE ME 90'S!! Favorite track…. For August 😜
#halsey#iichliwp#moment house#if i can't have love i want power#gasoline#you asked for this#darling#easier than lying#i am not a woman i'm a god#honey#girl is a gun#the tradition#Lilith#IICHLIWP#queue I barely know her#one night only#the Halsey experience#August 29#pregnancy#she is a legend#And a god#spent way too much money on merch
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the windtrace event can kiss my asssssss 😒
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Drama: Tempted (2018)
Starring: Woo Do Hwan, Joy, Mun Ka Young, Kim Min Jae
I enjoyed this drama more than I expected. There were some funny moments, some cute moments, and some really dramatic moments. All in all, I think they really balanced each other out.
Rating: ★★★★☆
Now let’s dive into a few of my favorite scenes:
1) When Shi Hyun kept trying to catch the cherry blossoms:
I loved this particular part of the scene between them because he was so hopeful. You could tell that he was just trying to hold onto the last bit of hope that he would find his true love. But a petal never falls in his hand and it breaks your heart a little because it makes you wonder how the drama ends. Next time cherry blossoms fall, I’m gonna try this out. Let’s hope I catch a petal.
2) Tae Hee pinching Shi Hyun’s cheeks:
She does this multiple times throughout the drama and it’s so funny because all he can say is “it hurts!!!”
I don’t blame him (hahha). I particularly loved this scene because it shows just how comfortable they are with each other, and how headstrong Tae Hee is. She isn’t afraid to show a dominant side to her relationship with him.
3) When they went away for a night:
UGHHH this trip was so darn cute. And then when they stayed together at night too but was too scared to go in the room with her (hahahah) what a gentleman.
and multiple kisses on the face and hands. I’m melting.
and when she finds the stash of condoms that Se Joo put there. FUNNIEST MOMENT IN THE DRAMA.

4) Their break up after Tae Hee finds out Shi Hyun played her:
YOU CAN SEE THE GUILT AND PAIN IN SHI HYUN’s FACE. Looking at him cry just made my heart hurt because we as the audience know that he actually liked her (bet aside). HE FELL FOR HER AND SHE BROKE HIS HEART— AFTER HE BROKE HER HEART AS WELL. Such a vicious loop. This is why you should be genuine with your heart. Don’t play unnecessary games with other peoples’ feelings.
(i can’t find a gif. i’m truly sad)
5) When Se Joo told Tae Hee about the bet:
This isn’t one of my FAVORITE MOMENTS, but can we just talk about what an asssssss Se Joo was to show her this. I definitely think he should’ve let Shi Hyun spill the beans himself. He was just a petty friend at this moment and let’s be honest, it’s all because he hadn’t matured yet.
6) The Ending Scene made me cry :(
I think the ending was so nice. Not only did I like seeing Se Joo all grown up and mature, running a sushi place. But we see Shi Hyun running an art gallery/place to look at constellations. It was like a perfect mixture of what he loves (art), what they both loved together (looking at stars/constellations), and then what Eun Tae Hee loved (architecture/buildings).
And yeah a lot of people wanted the ending to have a kiss– in fact, they said it’d be better with a kiss. But I think the way it ended shows that their relationship was more than just lust for each other. They were truly best friends who haven’t seen each other in such a long time that a hug sufficed.
#reviews#the great seducer#tempted#kwon shi hyun#eun tae hee#joy#red velvet#do hwon#kocowa#period dramas#tv show#south korea#korean#pretty#idols#singers#dating#college#high school#review#2018
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kwk lb: aamir khan
every time karan calls this dumbass show of his NATIONALLLLLLLLL TELEVISION, i lose 3 years off my life.
uhhhhhhhhhh karan, you're not a millenial either.
god i cringe every time he tries to appropriate 'millenial culture'. ffs, you're like a decade outside the range.
also fomo is not a disorder, gtfo.
aditya chopra sounds like he's living my his best life.
what do these confessions of his have to do with the damn guest?????
lol thugs as a diwali release. aamir and srk switched their festivals this year.
gotta say aamir looks good. pretentious af, but good.
LMAO SACHAAI SEEDHE BAAHAR KI BRO IM JUST HERE FOR PR.
ugh karan hyping thugs ainvayi mein.
yeah you should be nervous about this movie, aamir. it looks like a spectacular trashfire. oh it'll make money, hundreds and hundreds of crores, but looks like a steaming hot heap of absolute trash.
can't believe aamir and srk have stooped to these kinda garbage movies now.
lmao karan not buying that aamir didn’t do dangal just coz he was “appeasing a certain sensibility”.
so basically a straight ripoff of jack sparrow. like, in every single way.
ugh karan stop kissing ass with the “progressive” shit.
yeah the home situation with reena/kiran is nothing new or interesting, pls move on.
ofc his kids want to be in the movies. do any of their kids not?
damn he sounds like a harsh critic. poor junaid.
UGH I DON'T GIVE ONE SINGLE FUCK ABOUT WHAT THESE TWO MEN HAVE TO SAY ABOUT #METOO.
“it's sad that women have had to come out and speak about it to have created this environment.”
YEAH. IT IS. AND WHAT DID YOU DO ABOUT IT, ASSHOLES? you knew this shit was happening. you always knew. and you did shit. and now for you to sit here and talk about it and gain cool progressive ally points, literally fuck outta here.
forget that song, dil as a movie itself is a misogynist fucking nightmare. he almost rapes her, and then at the last minute doesn't, AND SHE FALLS IN LOVE WITH HIM. FOR NOT RAPING HER. LIKE....................
uh huh “SHOCKED” i’m sure.
that it came out. not that it happened.
omfg this conversation is everything i hate about this topic. WHY THE FUCK WOULD ANYONE PREY ON YOU? YOU'RE AT THE FUCKING TOP OF TOTEM POLE. HOW THE HELL CAN YOU THINK, AFTER HEARING ACCOUNTS ABOUT SOMEONE, THAT OH HE DIDN'T BEHAVE THAT WAY WITH ME, SO HE ISN'T A PREDATOR? it's like saying oh charles manson didn't murder ME, so he's not a murderer. chutiyaaaa hai kya?
aaaaaaaaaaaaand he's walking away with the credit for “taking action”. amaze.
and karan and his fucking tone-deafness. jfc what kinda delusion. what it must be like to live life as a privileged man with immense power.
please you fuckers are sleeping well at night no matter what. give me a break.
i'm feeling veryyyyyyyyyyyyyyy stabbyyyyyy right now after this fuckall performative garbage of a “segment”.
great sycophantry (that’s a word right?) towards bachchan now. ugh.
yeah bachchan does seem to have that sanki uncle persona, where if he calls, you’re like shit i’ve fucked up. esp. with his saltyass tweets on how no one will return his bday sms's/tweets or some shit. like get over it, grandpa.
ok aamir's pre-release “disorder” sounds like a right fucking nightmare.
blah blah blah is there any juicy goss this ep (that hasn't already been outed in the promos/previews) or should i stop watching already?
karan, if someone is playing THAT hard to get, then you should take the hint that they DON'T WANT to come.
strong fraternity feeling uh huh. not at all a PR photo op.
yeah of course you and your mid-life crisis don't see any difference between you+srk/ranveer+ranbir
HOW MANY TIMES WILL YOU PLUG THE DAMN MOVIE KARAN. WE FUCKING GET IT. THUGS IS RELEASING THIS WEEK. LORD.
ugh this phone game sounds dumb af. it's like the phone a friend in kbc, except utterly pointless.
sorry too much second-hand embarrassment at the prospect of this only. fwding.
koffee shots - aka we couldn't find anyone to come with you in this episode coz no one likes you/tumhara ego kuch zyaada hi bada hai, toh karan has to play the game with you. it’s this show’s version of taking a cousin to prom.
why did they pair katrina with varun next week tho? so random. she could have come in this ep with aamir?
what are these shots of though? like what are they drinking?
lmao aamir laughing at karan's sex injury.
exactly who’s surprised that aamir’s cheated?
sexy intern??????????????? jfc karan.
y’all are grownass men, why the fuck are you still getting hickeys in places ppl can see them jfc.
yeah no one needed to know the shower bs.
of course karan regifts. we already knew from the last ep.
oh ho, malaika's dropped the khan finally.
and karan's indicating she's gonna switch it up for a kapoor. hmmmmmmm.
gotta say she looks amazing. lord may my mallu genes be as potent as hers and lead me to age this well.
aamir rating himself
he seems like a bit of a troll himself, which is why he doesn’t take them seriously.
ew he smokes a pipe, how pretentious.
i am karannnn: “that was witty?????”
food/sex? “apne ko toh dono chahiye.”
don’t we all, but that was not the question.
god bachchan forced him to join twitter. sach mein he’s one unbearable sanki buddha.
ugh these answers are so laaaaaaaaame.
HE'S NOT PICKINGGGGGGGG ANYTHINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG HE'S SO ANNOYINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG WITH HIS AINVAYI KA DIPLOMACY
welll done my asssssss. aise hi channe ki jhaad pe chadha rahi hai.
of course karan's an insta-stalker. why's this surprising to anyone?
“i love being followed.” godddddd.
lmao i suspect aamir's laughing coz he knows karan can never give up gossip. ever.
lol shopping ki bhi beizzattti.
awkwardness with katrina impending after that answer.
LMAO LIKE KARAN JOHAR'S EVER BEEN ON THE MUMBAI LOCAL.
real best friend: aditya chopra. hmmmm.
but does it even count when you're cousins????
sexiest actor: john abraham
lolololol who even cares about HIM anymore???
how can the feeling that someone NEEDS you be... good?
(that too coming from the man who wrote “main kissi ki zaroorat nahi, kwahish banna chahti hoon.”)
WHAT THE FUCK HE PICKED KAREENA OVER TWINKLE
lol he’s prolly changing it to kareena coz she’s in takht and he has to kiss ass to get it done.
idk i feel shakun batra's the most promising outta the three? makes appropriately commercial movies, but pleasantly subversive ones. also gets good performances outta his actors. i think the choice was pretty clear.
FUCKING PICKKKKKKKKKKKKK ONE OF THEM, KARAN YOU ASSHOLE. THIS IS BULLLLLLLLLSHITTTTTTTTT.
LOL AAMIR'S GLEE AT HIS INABILITY TO PICK.
pft ainvayi mein de diya isko hamper, ofc karan wouldn't take it on his own show. also that bhai answer was lame as fuck.
lmao karan is being salty.
ouff abhi bhi 10 min baaki hai quiz waali bakchodi ke liye.
“i'm not known for my speed.” ... good for kiran, i guess. snort.
“i'm not known for my information.” oh pls karan.
LAY OFF ALIA YOU PERV SHE'S WAY TOO YOUNG FOR YOU UGH THERE'S MANY OTHER AGE APPROPRIATE ACTRESSES
pffffffft the dumbass pet peeves list. hattt yahaan se, hypocrite.
how are some of these answers “correct”???? like, asking him his preferences? how is there a “correct” answer to those?
snort aamir trying to psych karan out.
lolllllllllllll aamir's confusion at the concept/existence of a mochaccino.
why do these grownass men not know their warm colours?
THREE THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH YOUR HAND PE THARAK KI TARAF KYUN JAATA HAI TUM LOGON KA DIMAAG
HOLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII SONGS COME THE FUCKKKKKKK ONNNNNNNNN OMG YOU’RE A BLIGHT ON THE NAME OF BOLLYWOOD
wow he picked resul pookutty over bhanu athaiya? surprising.
khud ke show par hi prize le gaya. pft.
some more thugs plugging, blearghhhhhhhhh.
next week looks more fun. lol @ varun and his always wanting to pee. he did that during the FC interview with anupama chopra/anushka too.
lmao sab ko shaadi kab ho rahi hai question. i love varun.
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All aquarious know how to do is manipulate you with their “feelings” get u out ur pants and dip. Like full send dip tf out. Sorry I’m outta here first boo kiss my fat mommy milker freaky freakled ASSSSSSS. Disrespectfully🤗
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Op In Twine, Ava Eternity Vine
666 shake dicks hisssssstory lord
Bet your last dollar, mother fuckers
Bet your BOT TOM dollar,
Brandon's Skylore, has ur forehead marked
Eternal War Wick
Brandon says you made ur choices
Brandon says, He sees through ur excuses
Brandon, laughs
Brandon, marked you before birth, on "HA HA CHARITY HA HA"
Brandon says Red Eyes
Anyone Love Brandon's righteous War May? My Future May?
Anyone want to make excuses to illegally touch and lie to brandon again?
hmmmmmm????
Brandon says you are bankrupt
Brandon says, he only came to earth for an extremely small amount of objectives
Brandon says YOU fell right into him shaking his asssssss
Brandon says,
He marked you before he landed lol
Anyone want to lie to brandon again?
He knows you have to,
because you touched his entire family and cant unlink without excuses
Brandon laughs
Brandon made will say 1 word
before, during, and or after,
and all over again and again,
the word is "HA"
the word is "CHARITY"
Hahahahahahahaha suckers!!
Brandon works for charity
Brandon works for clarity
Brandon says you kill yourself with each lie
Brandon says shove ur own fake ass lord pie
Brandon laughs,
Brandon slaps his own ass
Brandon, knows u got a huge pot sticker wedged into ur eternity
hahahahahahahahahaha
brandon war lord victory
brandon pro life 99
brandon laughs at excuses
brandon says one word will knock out thousands of war criminals
"Charity"
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
future may.
Kiss Kiss,
Mwah Mwah,
I hope you guys enjoyed the gay juice
I hope you guys enjoyed the prejudice.
I came filled with party favors
I came filled with war taunts
I came filled with markers to highlight each and every one who dared to war agaisnt pro life 24, 99%
keep lying.
keep dying,
and i will keep laughing chicken to a wiccan hehehehehehehehehehehe materials and astrals are so quuueeeeeeeeeety lol
hahahahahaa i hope ur twinkle toes were worth heaven ;)
I love desks...
I love disintegrations
mmmmmmmmm war victory
Brandon Pro Life 99.
You, pun in strife hahahahahaha
Brandon, Charity
Brandon, ha ha ha ha ha unending charisma
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