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pastafossa · 11 months

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Charlie Cox experience at Philly Fan Expo 2023

So LET”S TALK ABOUT ME MEETING CHARLIE. I’m actually going to make two posts - this one just about my experiences with Charlie, because they were incredibly meaningful and deserve their own post, and then another one about the rest of the con!

I’m going to talk about Charlie first, because of how amazing the experience was, one of the best I’ve had, especially at the autograph table. I’ve done photos, gotten autographs and such before from other celebs - from niche voice actors I loved to people like David Tennant - but this felt Really Really Big. Obviously, I was nervous as all hell because holy shit Charlie Cox, my favorite actor whose work altered the course of my life. I won’t lie - I’d been practicing what to say to him in case I freaked out, but I’m happy to say that everyone who reassured me it would go great, because he was so, so genuine and kind, were right.

The photo op happened first (and thank you to everyone on tumblr guiding me where to go, cause I was LOST about where that was happening), and that went fast. By that point in the con hall, I’d already ditched my Jessica Jones jacket and gloves cause holy shit it’s hot and I am a creature of snow and ice, and my hair was a mess, but honestly I didn’t care, cause there he is. You don’t get long, but he made the most of it and he was SO sweet. Ya’ll, he asked my name, said my name as he shook my hand, and called me ‘my dear’ in that beautiful voice.

I was literally on the moon, but it was time for the big question:

Will he hold the red thread from TRT?

So in a quiet, nervous, soft author voice, I asked, ‘would you be ok with holding this end of the thread?’

HE FUCKING DID.

HE HELD IT.

HE HELD. THE. RED. THREAD.

I’m fairly certain he doesn’t know about the fic at this point - he wasn’t sure where to hold it until I told him, but he loved that it lit up! AND THEN HE PUT HIS ARM AROUND ME AND I GOT TO PUT MY ARM AROUND HIM BACK.

I’m fairly certain I’m dead in the photo. My soul had left my body. I had ascended. I saw Jesus and he looked like Charlie. I had achieved fic author heights never imagined. My brain filled with enough serotonin and dopamine to sink a ship. I didn’t care that I was hot and sweaty or that my hair was messy or that my cosplay didn’t work out like I’d planned. I had been blessed.

also look at that forearm holy shit

I floated outta that gd room ya’ll. I’m pretty sure @wonderlandmind4 did the same. WE FROLICKED OUT OF THAT HALL LIKE

But things got even better at the autograph table, and I had one of the most touching experiences ever.

not me tearing up thinking about it.

That line was long, but I kept getting glimpses of him and I could already tell he was enjoying interacting with people, and he was making sure everyone got their bit of time with him instead of letting anyone rush people through. He was so happy looking, laughing and grinning, high fives and fist bumps for kids, chatting with fans. Which made me feel a little more confident.

I know some people wondered if I’d tell him about TRT, and I’d already decided I wasn’t going to. Instead, I really, really wanted just a second to tell him what his work as Daredevil had meant for me, as someone who became disabled around the same time Matt did as a kid, and who related to... a lot of what Matt went through in the show. I’d practiced it over and over again, and there was only a fifty percent chance I wouldn’t start crying while telling him, and I wasn’t even sure I’d have time to tell him depending on how much time we had.

He made time.

I got up to him with my art print holy shit he’s even more beautiful in person and his eyes are STUNNING. He said hi, and asked my name so he could personalize the autograph if I wanted (DUH, YES PLEASE), and he apologized about the line after we shook hands. I jokingly told him it was fine since I’d driven hours to get here. A little time in line wasn’t a bother. He even loved one of the buttons on my lanyard - the button of Matt wearing a heart crown specifically! And as he was writing, I knew this was my chance to tell him. He was still signing, so I just decided to go for it in case I ran out of time.

“I just wanted to tell you,” I said quietly, “as someone who became disabled as a kid around the same age as Matt did—”

And then he did something I didn’t expect, something I’d rarely seen anyone do, famous or not, and something I’d never had an actor or artist do for me.

He immediately set down the pen, leaned in close over the table, and made direct eye contact, while giving me the most genuine, gentle, encouraging smile I’d ever seen.

In that moment, I knew everything in him was listening, that he cared about what I was about to say and recognized that this was important to me, and that he’d closed the distance to make this conversation just... us. It felt personal in a way I’ve never experienced at a con or signing.

Just like that, I wasn’t afraid to tell him what I’d wanted to.

“And as someone who related to... a lot of what Matt went through, his struggles in the show, and especially the dark parts of season 3,” I said, more confidently now, “I wanted you to know that all the work you put in, the way you played it, the way you played Matt and treated it seriously, seeing that helped me process and heal from a lot of my own trauma and pain over what I’ve gone through with my illnesses. What you did was important and it really helped me. So I wanted you to know that, how much that meant to me, and to say thank you.”

The whole time I spoke to him, he kept direct eye contact, and didn’t look away once. He didn’t get antsy, or look like he wanted me to hurry up (which I’d have understood, cause damn, these are long days for him). He listened, fully engaged and leaning in, his eyes warm and soft and kind but incredibly serious. I’m not sure how often he’s been told something like this—a lot, I expect; his portrayal was just that good, and I know it was important to a lot of fans—but what I was trying to tell him clearly meant something to him. I felt heard, seen, and understood.

Charlie really does care about his fans. It isn’t an act. I’m sure of it now.

“Thank you, truly,” he said, just as quietly but with that honest smile, eye crinkles and all, and seeing it in person, that close up, I swear the room felt ten times brighter. “Thank you for coming to tell me that. It means a lot, the idea that something I did meant so much and that it could help you. I’m so grateful that you were able to come visit and tell me.”

We shook hands after that. He wished me a good day and I told him thank you again, and that was that. The interaction only lasted maybe a minute, but it meant the absolute world to me, as did what he’s done as Daredevil. And now he knows that.

#Philly Fan Expo #Charlie Cox #Daredevil #he HELD THE THREAD ya'll #my fanfic author life is now complete #and honestly as a fan i don't know if any other experience will ever top those moments I got with Charlie #he is so so kind and warm and wonderful #the way he immediately stopped and gave me his full attention when i started to tell him what it meant #i just had to stop for a second and collect myself because just...#he was *listening* and despite all the noise and chaos i suddenly had his full attention #the way he leaned in so the conversation felt like it was just us and the way he cocked his head and focused on me like #i can't think of a single celeb or interaction like that where i've felt that much like what i was saying to him mattered #(that's not dissing the other actors and celebs i've met. they've all been wonderful! but charlie definitely has a special kindness i think)#and i can now say having been that close to him and having spoken with him over something fairly serious #he is literally one of the kindest celebs i've met and the most genuine #you can literally see the warmth in his eyes when he looks at you. he's *legitimately* happy you're there to talk to him or see him #maybe one day he'll find out about TRT. i'm honestly not sure #but even if he doesn't at least I got a chance to tell him how much what he's done has helped me heal #from a lot of really... really hard things in my life #and according to a friend (who I didn't even know was there but spotted me talking to Charlie from another line!)#Charlie did indeed stay until WAY late signing everyone's stuff so that no one missed an autograph #he said his estimation of Charlie just shot way up because even hours later he was still taking his time with each fan that came up #Charlie has absolutely solidified as my favorite actor and one of the nicest people I've had the pleasure of meeting

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darkwood-sleddog · 2 months

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working with the public or as i like to call it "baby boomer babysitter club"

#not dogs #i'm sorry but i am TIRED of handholding people 65 and older through basic tasks they've been doing my whole life #like paying their taxes BY CHECK #or voting!!!#we do a majority of our voting via mail in ballot here #but that's not something done at a federal level #and the second they can't receive it automatically in their mailbox without making a request #they're like ?????? how??? like um...we've only been voting by mail for 4 years and you're 70 #all you need to do is tell me you want it mailed to you and i got u boo #like please just CALL and ask me if you have a question i'm begging #instead of circulating mass confusion and misinformation in your group of friends as if i don't post at least once a week #direct instructions for what you're looking for

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carefulfears · 8 months

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the biggest thing about elegy is that it takes all of that unspoken isolation of this arc, and it slowly lets the audience in. the first thing that mulder says about the apparitions, is that they seem to be an "omen." an impending prophecy. and carefully, throughout the episode, both the audience and scully are waiting to see, not who the killer is, but what is being foretold. when they're going over records, and scully's nose starts bleeding, it's the one thing that they can't ignore. she wasn't even there in the previous episode. she was in the hospital. alone. they don't talk about it. she's "fine." she has "always been the strong one." just like in irresistible, years earlier, she does not want him to know how much she is struggling. but she doesn't have any control. it is dripping out of her. the sound of his voice when he says "oh, scully." and how quickly she responds "it's okay. i'm fine."

it's that kind of childlike grimace in him, the same man who flinches away from dead bodies and stares at the ground before his father. and she's so fast to try to restore order. it's okay. i'm fine. don't worry, i'll clean it up. i'll make it go away. when she disappears into the bathroom and sees an apparition there herself...i think she decides to go to the hospital because she just needs space, honestly. she's scared. he offers to drive her, to go with her, twice. asks, "you sure?" and she says, twice, "i'm fine."

elegy builds to two separate climaxes: the first, when mulder comes to scully's apartment. but before that, we see scully in karen kosseff's office, the same therapist that she had gone to in irresistible, and presumably has kept a relationship with in the years since. she tells karen that she's been diagnosed with inoperable untreatable cancer, and when karen asks, "you've kept working?" she answers, "yes. it's been important to me."

she's taken aback when karen asks why, is surprised at the question, and tells her "agent mulder has been concerned. he's been supportive, through this time."

KOSSEFF: Do you feel that you owe it to him to continue working?

SCULLY: (quickly) No. (pauses) I guess I never realized how much I rely on him before this...his passion...he's been a great source of strength that I've drawn on.

KOSSEFF: What happened last night, Dana?

SCULLY: I saw something. I, I don't know what to trust. If I saw it because of the stress, because the image had been suggested to me or if it was a suggestion of my own fears.

KOSSEFF: Your fear of failing him?

SCULLY: (exhales emotionally) Maybe.

this is such a rare admission from scully. first of all, she's being confronted. this is not normal. it is not normal to work to your death. it's like bill tells her, a couple of episodes later, "what are you doing at work, getting knocked down, beaten up? what are you trying to prove?"

(she hadn't even told bill about her cancer. she'd been sick for months. she thought she was going to die in memento mori, she knows she's going to die sooner than later. and she instructed her mom not to tell her brother. from the moment that mulder said "i refuse to believe that," it really was only going to go one way.)

she's being confronted. why are you working? (for mulder). do you feel you owe him? (no, i need him).

she's really alone. she's sick. like, she's really sick. she spent the last case in the hospital. she's having a hard time keeping up. she's thinning, and bleeding, and struggling. but there she goes, every day, at every hour. monster chasing. telling him she's fine.

(so much conflict comes from the way that mulder's ignorance perfectly enables scully's repression)

when he shows up, late, at her apartment, he comes in a mile-a-minute, about how he needs her "help" on the case, before asking her what her doctor said. (her answer, of course, being, "i'm fine.")

he tells her that everyone who has seen an apparition, was dying. every person who reported a premonition, was near death themselves.

SCULLY: Harold Spuller is dying too?

MULDER: Well, that's what I need your medical opinion on.

SCULLY: Well, what if he isn't?

MULDER: I would be very surprised. What is a death omen if not a vision of our own mortality? And who among us would most likely be able to see the dead?

this is one of the most hauntingly isolating moments of the series...he has just told her that she is going to die. and he doesn't know, that that's what he said. she is forced to process it, completely by herself. and she doesn't believe in ghosts, or "premonitions," but she knows that he is right. (when is he not?)

("maybe harold is sicker than we thought he was.")

the second moment that this episode builds to, is the final confrontation between mulder and scully. after the murder is solved. after harold dies.

SCULLY: I saw something, Mulder.

MULDER: What?

SCULLY: The fourth victim. I saw her in the bathroom before you came to tell me.

MULDER: Why didn't you tell me?

SCULLY: Because I didn't want to believe it. Because I don't want to believe it.

MULDER: Is that why you came down here, to prove that it wasn't true?

SCULLY: No, I came down here because you asked me to.

MULDER: Why can't you be honest with me?

SCULLY: (defensively) What do you want me to say? That you're right, that, that I believe it even if I don't? I mean, is that what you want?

MULDER: Is that what you think I want to hear?

SCULLY: (softly) No.

they come really...close here? to talking about it? she almost baits him several times this season. she spends so much of this arc thinking...maybe, this will be it. maybe if she fucks off on assignment, gets a tattoo with another man, he'll say it. maybe if she calls him out for never celebrating her birthday, he'll acknowledge why this is the year he did. maybe if they spend a friday night with a bottle of wine, they'll talk. maybe if she tells him, those things you believe are death omens? i saw it. he'll know.

i can't remember which one of you said that all of their arguments are just how to love each other. she doesn't want to believe. but she's there, because he has asked her to be. even in all of their repressed denial, there is no escaping what's happening. it hangs over both of them.

i love the moments in this arc where she just snaps. in this scene when she says, what do you want from me? do you want me to just believe you? and her quiet resignation, when he makes her answer her own question. no. she knows that's not what he wants.

MULDER: (his voice softens) I know what you're afraid of. I'm afraid of the same thing.

SCULLY: The doctor said I was fine.

MULDER: I hope that's the truth.

SCULLY: (whispers) I'm going home.

"i know what you're afraid of. i'm afraid of the same thing."

except, no, he doesn't. and no, they are not.

but she knows what he's afraid of, just as her therapist had known what she's afraid of ("your fear of failing him?") and so she dodges his admittance with reassurance. she's fine.

that last scene, when she goes out and cries in her car, and she sees harold's ghost in the backseat. she is so alone. she's working on her deathbed. they don't talk about it. she's afraid, and she's not fine, and she is going to "fail" him because she cannot keep herself alive for him, and she can't avoid it. it's in the backseat. it's in the bathroom mirror. it's bleeding out of her.

#here trish #txf.txt #elegy #DANA LOOK OUT!!! YOUR ELEGIES ARE EULOGIZING YOU!!!!!!!!!!#i was saying last night how much i love ‘gethsemane’ as an episode title #and i think that may be my favorite one #but i love ‘elegy’ a lot too #‘a lament for the dead’#this whole episode is sorrow for the dead and dying #how we cannot catch up to them #and our dying girl at the center. seeing the omens. knowing what’s coming. crying alone in her car.#this show was always so so so resonant and impactful when it came to themes of grief and loss #anyway. there is no beyond the sea etc etc #also i noticed last night that scully mentions how long they've been together a lot during this arc #'in the four years i've known you' in tempus fugit #'i would think after four years' in elegy #'everything that we've done over the past four years' in reduxii #she's taking stock

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fromtheseventhhell · 11 months

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Seeing people clutch pearls over Arya having killed people is so funny cause the list is literally rapist, murderer, torturer, criminal, some combination of the bunch...and all people who Arya has personally witnessed, or directly heard about, committing these acts. Like, contrary to popular belief, she is not just a mindless killing machine.

#arya stark #asoiaf #a song of ice and fire #won't somebody please think of the poor rapist who laughed while recounting the tale of participating in the brutalization of a young girl?#of the torturer who came up with new ways daily to torment people?????#of the man who murdered a child without a second thought??? what about HIS-story huhh????#yeah George writes Arya as a gray character but he also makes all of her acts justified...that's truly his daughter fr (dany too)#seeing people clutch pearls over raff and the tickler is insane kind've...crying about the brutality of it but look at what they've done???#personally I think Arya should kill more rapists and murderers but that's just me #also she should've killed that lady who threatened to her with the broom handle cause what the FUCK #like I would literally stand by Arya even if she was 100% worse understand that #but if you get killed by Arya chances are you deserved it 🤷🏾‍♀️

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eskawrites · 9 months

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okay who’s gonna take one for the team and write a super soft ptsd/recovery ronance fic with the title ‘if you wanted you could do no harm’

#is it gonna be me #ronance #can you tell it's been on repeat all morning #the thing about maya hawke's music is that i'll be vibing to the song as a whole right #and then out of nowhere one specific line will sucker punch me and ruin my entire life #and it's great #ANYWAY do you see the vision???#idk i can't fully put into words what i'm thinking but i'm THINKING #like #something-something post-canon they've won and they're still so angry #(nancy is so so angry)#something like the closure nancy fights so hard for in s2 but on a much bigger scale #looking at all the terrible things the government has done and how none of this would've happened #she never would've lost ANYTHING #if it wasn't for their actions or inactions #something-something a la katniss at the end of the hunger games choosing peeta over gale bc she chooses peace over war #healing over anger #bc there will always be someone to fight and something to fight for #but how long can you really stay in battle?#at some point the something you're fighting for has to be yourself #at some point the strongest thing you can do is choose to heal #SOMETHING-SOMETHING KERREK IN CRITICAL ROLE C1 #a hammer to fight vs a hammer to build #do you SEE the VISION

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incorrect-ikevamp-quotes · 1 year

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Napoleon: What did you two do?

Jeanne:

Mozart:

Napoleon: You’re not in trouble, I just need to know if I have to lie to the police again or not.

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp jeanne #ikevamp jean #ikevamp mozart #ikevamp napoleon #i love how laden with implications this entire post is #there's the fact that napoleon somehow cannot glean what happened with the evidence available to him #which really makes you wonder the level of this debacle #there's the fact that jeanne and mozart are electing to remain silent #and we don't know if it's because of the severity of what they've done or the embarrassment #the image of them contrite like scolded children is killing me #and last but not least in the slightest #the fact that napoleon's like 'do i look like i care about the cops'#'i just need to get my story straight if we doin this'#man no wonder napoleon plays nanny he's that like older brother/upperclassman #that catches the younger kids drinking and he's just like #s i g h s aight fellas #give me the booze and go hide before you get in trouble #smfh #ikevamp incorrect quotes

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saints-who-never-existed · 5 months

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In a weird sort of inescapable, Schrodinger-y mental loop at the minute where I don't think that Hickey was worthy of forgiveness in the end, but I also don't think that Crozier was worthy of thinking he could deny Hickey forgiveness either...?

#Don't hold me to this I'm still figuring it out in my head #Like neither of them are in the right for me #They've both done so much wrong #Actually everyone on those ships did so much wrong by the end #None of them are without sin and none of them are in a position to condemn others for their sins #But yeah more specifically I'm forever thinking of that line #'I forgive all of them. But you.'#Like homeboy! Look at yourself! Listen to yourself!#What makes you think you have the right?#The Terror #The Terror AMC #The audacity of that bitch #The audacity of that bitch AMC #Cornelius Hickey #Francis Crozier #Observations #Meta #No coherence only vibes

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cookinguptales · 1 year

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not to be too corny on main, but there really is something about looking at photos of joyful, beautiful fat people that makes me feel like I could be loved

#'does harvey guillen know what his fat-positive queer-positive activism has done for me?' I whisper to myself #like I did not once literally look directly into his eyes while he was holding my hand and tell him exactly that #but god he HAS to know what he does for people it wouldn't be fair if he didn't get to know #I fully believe that telling people when they've done something that means a lot to you is important #which is why I got up the courage to tell him lmao #but god! there are still times when it's just like he has!! to know!!#lizzo too thanks for being spectacular #just me

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marzipanandminutiae · 1 year

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What on earth is a 'corset apologist'? Like, because you acknowledge corsets were perfectly functional supportive undergarments, you're an agent of the patriarchy??

Yep, that's it exactly.

As with all the other red flags in the post, it's not a guaranteed t*rf signal. I've known plenty of non-t*rfs who expressed similar views (including the person who claimed Abby Cox was "looking down her perfectly powdered nose" at Mary Wollstonecraft for daring to [checks notes] point out that Wollstonecraft was rather judgmental about her fellow women's interest in dress). But...it's definitely a "check blog for t*rf leanings" tip-off for me.

And yes, to clarify: some people (t*rfs or otherwise) think female dress history researchers/historical costumers/vintage fashion enthusiasts who don't believe that corsets were The Root of All Evil when commonly worn are just brainwashed patriarchal shills and we can't possibly know what we're talking about.

Because that's way easier than thinking critically about the history you've been taught, and not vaguely misogynistic at all! </s>

#ask #akorah #red flags #dress history #historical costuming #seriously how does anyone take the 'well she just likes her pretty princess dresses and wants to justify that!'#'surely she's never done REAL research into the subject!' tack and not realize #that they've circled around to undisguised sexism?#of the 'women researchers are just bits of pretty fluff who can't be trusted or taken seriously' variety?#these same people would probably swear up and down that what a woman wears isn't important #that only the content of her research matters #but somehow that all flies out the window if she's in an 1890s walking suit or a New Look-inspired dress #and saying (supported) things you don't want to hear #sure there are bad female dress history researchers. just like bad researchers in any field #but the language some people use to talk about decent researchers who simply aren't playing into their view of the past is...

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