Midnight Pals: Magic Systems
[at Unicorn Fuck Club]
Brandon Sanderson: hey robert what kind of magic rules do you have
Sanderson: in my fantasy world, there's 18 laws of magic
Sanderson: sorted into 23 categories and 65 sub-directories
Robert Jordan: huh
Jordan: well in my world, girls do girl magic and boys do boy magic
Sanderson: wait what?
Jordan: girls do girl magic and boys do boy magic
Sanderson: how does that work
Jordan: saidin is stored in the balls
Jordan: why, how does your magic work
Sanderson: ah well if you experience an emotion in my fantasy world
Sanderson: then a sprite representing that emotion with physically appear and dance around
Jordan: is that like Big Mouth then
Sanderson: what
Jordan: its a cartoon show
Sanderson:
Sanderson: oh idk maybe
Sanderson: i haven't seen it
Sanderson: i only watch saturday's warrior on loop
Jordan: look, i just think it makes sense
Jordan: that the fundamental mystery powers of the universe would bisect neatly along binary gender lines
JK Rowling: goddamnit!!!
Rowling: why didn't i think of that
Rowling: ugh, inssstead i only have magic dividing people into uebermensssches and untermensssches
Rowling: it could have been sssso much more!
Rowling: sssso in my world
Rowling: the sssuperior wizard raccce issss sssimply born knowing magic
Sanderson: right, right
Rowling: then they have to go to sssschool
Rowling: you know, to learn
Rowling:
Rowling: magic
Rowling: alssso there are bad wizardsss who want to exterminate non-wizardssss
Rowling: the bad wizardsss represssent queer people now
Rowling: that's why we need to get them before they get us
Rowling: anyway if you're an elected repressentative writing eliminationalisssst lawsss, feel free to reference my fictional booksss for jussstification
Tolkien:
Martin:
Rowling: i don't get it, that alwaysss getsss a big hand on mumsnet
Diane Duane: in my world, anyone can learn magic
Rowling: SHUT UP DUANE
Duane: from a book
Rowling: SHUT UP
Duane: you can get it at the library
John Bellairs: oh yeah i think i've seen that book
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INT. MICHAEL'S HOUSE - DAY
HAGEN
Kay?
He steps in, the beautiful summer living room is neat, but empty.
HAGEN
Anyone hungry?
He moves through the house more quickly; into the dining and recreation room areas. A cat jumps off a pile of cushions and runs across the room.
HAGEN
Hello?
SANDRA (O.S.)
She's gone, Tom.
Sandra has followed him into Michael's house.
HAGEN
What do you mean gone?
SANDRA
The Barretts from Rubicon Bay came by in a new speedboat. Rocco tried to say she wasn't in, but Kay spotted them and asked if they would take her and the kids for a ride. That was three hours ago.
HAGEN
(furious)
Why didn't someone tell me!
SANDRA
I wanted to tell you alone; your
wife doesn't know what's goinng on.
Hagen rushes out of the house.
EXT. TAHOE LAWN - DAY
Hagen moves quickly out of Michael's house; moving across the lawn to the boathouse.
HAGEN'S SON
Hey, Dad!
This time he ignores the thrown ball, and moves directly to Rocco, who is by some men near the boathouse.
HAGEN
Rocco!
ROCCO
I know. I went down to the Barrett
house. But she's gone. They drove her and the kids to North Tahoe airport.
HAGEN
Goddamn it, where were you?
ROCCO
I was in my house. Willy tried, but it would have taken some strong-arm to stop her, and he figured you wouldn't want that.
INT. THE BOATHOUSE - DAY
They enter the boathouse.
HAGEN
(to one of the men)
Get me a Scotch and water. The man hurries behind the bar.
ROCCO
She took a flight to San Francisco. We figure she's going to connect to New Hampshire; her parents' place.
HAGEN
(almost to himself)
I can't let him down.
He swallows the drink down in several gulps. And then looks up to his men watching him. He's embarrassed to have shown such weakness.
HAGEN
All right, let me think a minute. Rocco clears the men out.
ROCCO
Me too, Tom?
HAGEN
Yeah, give me a minute.
Rocco gone, Hagen moves behind the enormous bar, and pours himself a giant drink. He drinks that, and calms himself.
HAGEN
Oh Christ, Pop. It was so good when you were alive. I felt I could handle anything...
INT. MICHAEL'S SUITE - NIGHT
The telephone has just rung; Michael listens.
OPERATOR
We have your call to Tahoe, Nevada, sir.
MICHAEL
Thank you.
(click, click)
Tom? Tom, is that you?
ROCCO (O.S.)
No, Tom's out of town. This is Rocco. Who is this?
Michael is openly disturbed that Hagen is not there. He hangs up without answering.
EXT. NEW ENGLAND HOUSE - DAY
Tom Hagen steps out of a taxicab a bit tentatively, and then steps toward the door of a pleasant New England house. He rings the bell and waits, hat in hand. A moment later, the door opens, and Kay is standing there.
KAY
I'm not surprised to see you, Tom.
INT. SMALL ROOM - NEW ENGLAND HOUSE - MED. VIEW - DAY
Out to the yard, where we can see glimpses of little Anthony playing by himself.
KAY (O.S.)
I can't love a man like that; I can't live with him, I can't let him be father to my children. Look.
The little boy, moodily by himself.
VIEW ON KAY
obviously moved.
VIEW ON HAGEN
KAY
He's not like a little boy... he doesn't talk to me; he doesn't want to play; he doesn't like other children, he doesn't like toys.
It's as though he's waiting for the time he can take his Father's place.
(almost in tears)
You know what he told me when he was four years old. He said he had killed his Grandfather...
VIEW ON HAGEN
listening, calmly.
VIEW ON KAY
KAY
... He said he had shot his Grandfather with a gun, and then he died in the garden. And he asked me... he asked me, Tom, if that meant now his father would shoot
him out of... revenge.
(she cries)
How does a four year old boy learn the word... 'revenge'?
HAGEN
Kay... Kay...
KAY
What kind of a family is this... are we human beings? He knows his Father killed his Uncle Carlo. He heard Connie.
HAGEN
You don't know that's true. But Kay, just for the sake of an argument, let's assume it is, I'm not saying it is, remember, but...
What if I gave you what might be some justification for what he did... or rather some possible justification for what he possibly did.
KAY
That's the first time I've seen the lawyer side of you, Tom. It's not your best side.
HAGEN
Okay, just hear me out. What if Carlo had been paid to help get Sonny killed? What if his beating of Connie that time was a deliberate plot to get Sonny out into the open? Then what? And what if the Don, a
great man, couldn't bring himself to do what he had to do, avenge his son's death by killing his daughter's husband? What if that, finally, was too much for him, and he made Michael his successor, knowing that Michael would take that load off his shoulders, would take that guilt?
KAY
He's not the same as when I met him.
HAGEN
If he were, he'd be dead by noww. You'd be a widow. You'd have no problem.
KAY
What the hell does that mean? Come on, Tom, speak out straight once in your life. I know Michael can't, but you're not Sicilian, you can tell a woman the truth; you can
treat her like an equal, a fellow human being.
There is a long silence.
Then Hagen shakes his head; he can tell her no more.
HAGEN
If you told Michael what I've told
you today, I'm a dead man.
KAY
When is it finally over? I want it
to be over before my baby is born.
HAGEN
I don't know. I hope soon; but it's not over yet, and that's why you and the kids have to come back to me.
He looks at her; it's clear that he has been entrusted with her safety and her children's.
He is a kind, good man, and seems very nervous and overwrought.
VIEW ON THE WINDOW
Little Anthony is pressing his face against the glass pane, as though he senses the adults are discussing something of importance to him.
- THE GODFATHER Part Two, Screenplay by Mario Puzo and Francis Ford Coppola, SECOND DRAFT, September 24, 1973
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