#Ruin x Eclipse | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thorns-and-rosewings · 2 months

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MEANWHILE IN HOME SWEET BAR AU🍻

Eclipse, Ruin and all of the Infernal Machine staff are standing outside... As the sound of something large shuffling around inside can be heard. Along with some strange bird calls...

Eclipse: Alright... Who did it? I'm not mad I just want to know. Who put an emu in my bar?

Bartender 1: Honestly Eclipse, I have no idea. I just came back from the stock room and it was right there... And then it chased me out.

Bartender 2: Yeah I just walked in to start my shift and it was there. It had hate in its eyes. It looked like it was going to frickin mangle me so I backed up and went out the same way I came in.

Eclipse: (Sharp inhale) Oh... I think I can beat it in the HATRED department.

Ruin: Eclipse don't, I'm calling animal control.

Eclipse: That'll just take too long, it's a stupid bird. I've got it. (Goes in to deal with the big angry flightless bird)

Bartender 1: ...You think he can get rid of it?

Ruin: (Sighs) Well, Eclipse has a sea of untapped rage... But if the entire army of Australia couldn't beat these things, I don't think he's going to be very successful here.

(It's like the sound effects of Solar vs Jack, although with a lot more swearing and bird calls)

Bartender 2: Still... Who let's an emu into a bar? Was it a prank?

Bloodmoon: (Nobody even noticed he was coming up behind, initially for a kill... But now intrigued by the conversation) What is an emu?

The two human bartenders jump, Frank waves and Ruin is unfazed as he's looking up the number of animal control.

Ruin: A big angry flightless bird that Eclipse is most likely fighting off with a broom... Trying to get it out of the bar. But I think it's winning the fight.

Bloodmoon: (Chuckles and races inside, sensing a challenge)

The sounds increase 10x now peppered with the sounds of Bloodmoon laughing and snarling... Before all goes suddenly still... And Eclipse, rather disturbed, pokes his head out of the main door. Although it's clear he's splattered with a lot of blood.

Eclipse: ...okay... So somebody go around and try to drag one of the dumpsters out here to the front. We gotta dispose of an 80 pound dead bird... Wait... Oh gross... A... A 76 pound dead bird, no wait... Damn he's still eating it... 70 pounds? ...65 pounds... Wait... Wait DON'T YOU DARE THROW UP!!!

Ruin: (After a moment, changed from looking up animal control to something else...) Ah yes hello, Grimsly Crime Scene Cleaners? My name is Ruin and I am inquiring to see if cleaning up a mutilated emu in the middle of a Steampunk Bar might be something your services cover? Ah... Yes? Oh that's covered in your cleaning packages? Jolly good, I shall see you in a bit then!

They never speak of this incident again...

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killcodesashes · 1 month

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Eclipse x Ruin!!! But they're human- uhh kinda

Guys I love all the goofy silly ships that people keep making with all the different versions of Eclipse/Eclipses and aaaaaa I love them all so I wanna draw more if I'm honest!

There's suggestive jokes under this so uh think it twice

Thou have been warned