#So the parents aren't going to be very thrilled about either of their partners

[tswwwit]

i’m sooo curious on bill meeting dipper’s parents. i think i remember you mentioning at one point they kinda sucked and treated dip especially bad. i’m sure that’s caused a lot of his long term mental health/self esteem issues and i can’t help but think his husband wouldn’t be too thrilled about that. also they don’t even know he’s married so that’s a whole other thing lol

In the Familiar AU, Dipper's parents shipped him and Mabel off to Grunkle Stan back when they were twelve, actually!

This was initially excused as the twins 'needing to get used to having magic'. Which makes sense! Magical puberty is a heck of a thing, and getting some training's useful to cut down on random magic surges.

But by the end of the summer, they hadn't made any plans for picking the kids up. This when Stan twigged to the real situation.

And by the end of that year, Dipper knew his 'paranoid' assumption was absolutely correct.

So the twins grew up in Gravity Falls, with only very occasional visits back 'home'. Contact's been sporadic, and Mabel's been the one who's clung more to their parent's attention. Dipper hasn't spoken to them unless forced to in years.

So yeah! Bill's not exactly thrilled with the parents - but lucky for them, they haven't met him yet! And they definitely don't know about the marriage. Much less anything else.

#answers #In summary: The twins' parents found out their kids were magical and decided they Just Couldn't Deal with that #They're not magical themselves and giving your kids some Magic Training is a good idea #But at some point you need to actually *take them back* #Which they just. Didn't #Dipper abso-friggin-lutely has a whole mess of issues from that #Abandonment's a big one. Being worth something and good at something? Yep that's an issue right there #Not the least of which is that Mabel as a more Talented and Powerful magic user got more attention when they were still there #Then continued to get more attention via phone call when they weren't #Mabel's got some REALLY rose-colored glasses on about the situation #Dipper sees it for the 'well my kids are freaks but at least one of them is a Cool Freak' it is #That's a fact he's been stewing on for *ages*. A fact bomb that he could theoretically drop on his sister but never did #Needless to say he got the brunt of the Issues™ but Mabel's got her own in turn #I'm also betting there's more than a dash of homophobia in their parents considering their reaction just to Magic #So the parents aren't going to be very thrilled about either of their partners #In my head I picture the parents wanting a Totally Picturesque Family #And creating the visual of one is easier if you only have Pictures of the kids instead of them being there and being themselves #In summary: Yeah The Parents Suck #I started a fic for this once and I still intend to write one but that's a later type of project #I gotta have the right start for it to flow well

[thepeanutbutterwizard]

How have they kept Odalia from catching on that they’re friends? Also, have you considered doing omakes for this AU of moments like this that don’t fit well in the main story? No pressure or anything, just curious.

Well things are better between Amity and the twins to start off, and their help makes a fair amount of difference.

In cannon the strain in their relationship seemed to stem from the pressure Amity was feeling causing her to resent that they can get away with their pranks and stuff, her trying to get them in trouble for once, them retaliating against her, her telling on them for their retaliation, and rinse and repeat with their parents either not noticing or not caring about that cycle.

But since Amity has a reason to rebel as well, she's less invested in actually keeping to Odalia's standards, and doesn't want to try and expose how Ed and Em aren't living up to them.

Ed and Em were thrilled to learn their little Mittens was sneaking around behind Odalias back, passing notes to Luz through library books, volunteering to tutor Willow after school back before she transferred to the Plant track, and have been very willing to help Amity sneak around Odalia, and she helps them as well.

Another, rather surprising...ally isn't the right word for Boscha, but she does actually help cover for Amity, even though she kind of hates her guts (feelings mutual).

I'm going to be expanding on the world building a bit in HS au, and something I'm going to be doing is showing how magic isn't meant to be neatly compartmentalized into nine different categories. Magic is supposed to be Wild.

I mentioned in DoaF that Luz has a lot of classes that overlap with Willow and Amity, but only has a general class (like history or math) with Gus, and that's bc Abominations and Potions have a lot of overlap, as do Plants and Potions.

Boschas parents in HS run a Potions company that makes different types of serums made specifically to be used on Abominations, to help Abominationists get their goo to the right consistency or texture or level of stability that they need for their job or whatever it is they need to do.

Their company is partnered with Blight Industries as a supplier for these very useful serums, and since their company is a fair bit smaller than the Blights, Boschas parents are super insistent that she maintain a good relationship with Amity so they don't risk losing that contract.

So even though Boscha would rather give up Grudgby forever than help the S1-Hexsquad, she and Amity actually have to work together to trick their parents into thinking they're still best friends. So they'll help cover for each other out of self preservation.

All that plus Eda applying the skills learned after decades of being a career criminal to help means Odalia is currently none the wiser, and is more invested in chasing Amity around with a bottle of hair dye than in who she's hanging out with at school.

And I actually have been considering posting outtakes and scrapped ideas for HS au and DoaF! Bc I have quite a few of them already, including a version of Eda finding the kids from Eda's perspective instead of Luz's I wrote when I was writing Chap 2.

Since I'm still hammering things out for later down the line (I have an overall plan with a few major plot beats I'm settled on, and ideas for how everything else is gonna go, but I only have up through the S1 events and a little into S2 of HS au concretely planned out) I'm going to hold off on posting any of those until I get things settled a bit more, since I don't want to put something out as a scrapped idea, only for me to get a new idea that means I can incorporate that scrapped idea, but now I've spoiled it and told everyone I'm not using it.

#the owl house #owl house #toh #half sibling au #the owl house au #owl house au #toh au

[impressiverunaway]

Draft Dump: Still on my mind (2/4)

and of course I'm annoyed as hell about it. I really do not know why I am having such a hard time with this. I've been in these types of situations with the constant back and fourth that never go anywhere. He knows what I am looking for and claims he wants the best for me. That he needs a few years to focus on what he wants. Is it vain of me to believe he wants me, but for the toxic male thing where they're taught showing emotions is bad, that may be the reason he is holding back. Why show up at my house at 4am if you don't see things going anywhere between us. Why make comments consistently about me having a boyfriend if you don't care about me in that way. Was it because you had been drinking. Is being with someone that displays a drinking problem someone that I'd like to go down that path with. No, I absolutely do not. But I could see him turning his life around and I'm not sure what that means. Things definitely got complicated way too fast. It's the connection between us that is hard to let go, that I feel at least. It's been very childish, but in a sweet kind of way. Like we are young, sneaking time together without our parents knowing. Slipping out through a window. It's exciting, thrilling. And for the most part, I enjoy spending time with you. It just becomes very frustrating, and I get tired of being bothered by the same thing. I am very much confident I'm a great catch. On the road I am on, I'll only be getting greater every day. He's gotta keep up, and move faster than I am. His standard for a man, is not a standard I care for. It's 2023, times have changed. There are so many old school standards that have long been left in the past. No sex before marriage. Different times. Women being the primary bread winner is a thing. It shouldn't be all one sided in my opinion. I like to pull my own weight and would like things to at least be 50/50. Yes, I would love to have my own sustainable income no matter what. And fuck yeah, who wouldn't want a spouse/partner that would gift play money just for the hell of it. It's sad really, because the friends in his circle, that I am aware of, aren't going anywhere in life either. I knew one of them well, and I'm sure still do know the type of person he is today. I very briefly had an interaction with another that cannot follow through with anything. And the last, a band member, doesn't sound like he has any faith in him either. He also said the dumbest shit like "i can predict his future lol". Telling me he's known him for a long time and there is nothing I can tell him that he doesn't already know. That he can just look at his face and know everything. I told him "Good luck with that." Of course, all of this is happening at a very odd transition in my life and recent diagnosis of BPD. So, I am really struggling to weed out if this is who I naturally am. I'm starting to realize more and more that I am not this overly nice person that I thought I was. It was drilled into me to be respectful, which is a good quality to have in a person. Considering all of these self-entitled assholes. I literally just looked up self-entitled to make sure I had the correct term and it's described my father to a tee. I don't want to be like him, ever. And as I first saw the basic definition, I felt overwhelmed by a sense of fear that I am self-entitled without knowing so and had to read more to discover if that is in fact me, or not. It in no way is. What a fucking relief. I know I've have some moments in life that I regret. Mistakes that I have learned from and will continue to learn from. Of course I can be strong enough to know when someone is manipulative, I've had plenty of experience to be able to identify it. Someone that is closed minded and cannot consider that they may be wrong. I just ended two friendships because they are not meeting my standards as friends.

#journal #personal #bpd #dating #mental health #love

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

hi, momdad! I have been wondering if there is a term/etc. to describe when an abuser no longer does their abusive behaviors from the past (i.e. recognizing their behavior was bad and working to correct it until it no longer happens at all)

I know people especially on this site aren't eager to forgive abusers or believe they can change. both my parents were emotionally/verbally abusive to different degrees in my early-mid childhood but it's been many years since either of them have done their abusive behaviors (I'm now 18). I know my dad especially worked really hard to change the way he acted.

all I know is that they are completely different from the parents they once were, and I trust them with my young godchild in a way I wouldn't have if they were still the same people they were a decade ago.

is there a word that describes this kind of situation? thanks <3

hello, dear! i'm really sorry you went through that in childhood, but i'm really glad that your parents have put so much work into changing. i absolutely believe that people, even abusers, can change their behavior and improve themselves, and i'm thrilled when i hear of someone who has.

the very short answer to your question: no, i'm not familiar with a single clinical term that is used to describe an abuser who has changed.

but please do be aware that i am 100% not in ANY way an expert or a professional, i am just a person on the internet. i am not formally educated on abuse.

that said, there are plenty of other words that you can use to describe the change your parents went through - you could say that they're reformed, that they've made amends, that you've reconciled with them. in the church that i once went to, it would have been said that your parents are 'repentant' for what they did to you, and i think that even without any religious connotations, that's a pretty good description. being repentant means that you have seen and acknowledged your wrong behavior and chosen to turn around and go in the opposite direction.

the most important thing here is not a label that perfectly fits, but that you really are sure that they're committed to this change. i'm not questioning you or your parents, but i do think a good position to take - especially when there's a child involved - is "trust, but verify."

you can trust your parents but still keep an eye on their behavior. while it is truly commendable that they have worked so hard to be different, they're still humans who can fuck up and backslide into old habits, and i don't want you to tell yourself that you can't criticize them because they've worked so hard to change. that might be fine for just you, if that's what you choose, but you definitely need to be ready and willing to criticize anything your godchild is subjected to or witness to, no matter how hard your parents have worked.

to that end, i'm going to copy/paste here a list of what constitutes "real change" in an abuser. (granted that this list was written about a domestic abuser, but i think the principles still apply.)

Admitting fully to what they have done

Stopping excuses and blaming

Making amends

Accepting responsibility and recognizing that abuse is a choice

Identifying patterns of controlling behavior they use

Identifying the attitudes that drive their abuse

Accepting that overcoming abusiveness is a decades-long process — not declaring themselves “cured”

Not demanding credit for improvements they’ve made

Not treating improvements as vouchers to be spent on occasional acts of abuse (ex. “I haven’t done anything like this in a long time, so it’s not a big deal)

Developing respectful, kind, supportive behaviors

Carrying their weight and sharing power

Changing how they respond to their partner’s (or former partner’s) anger and grievances

Changing how they act in heated conflicts

Accepting the consequences of their actions (including not feeling sorry for themselves about the consequences, and not blaming their partner or children for them)

now, please keep in mind that i'm really not trying to discourage you or get you down - it really is wonderful that your parents have changed. but it's also easy to see progress and convince yourself that everything is great now, when it isn't.

it's okay for you to still have been harmed by your parents' past behavior. it's okay for you to still need more from them, whether that's apologies, acknowledgements of wrong-doing, discussions of further changes that need to be made, etc. it would probably still be a good idea for you to see a therapist at some point so you can get an impartial opinion and some professionally trained guidance.

i really, truly hope everything turns out wonderfully with you, your parents, and your godchild, but i don't think you should necessarily assume all the work is over and every issue is settled. this needs to be an ongoing process of healing and growth for all of you, and that's okay.

take care of yourself, darling.

#abuse #parental abuse #abuse tw #q

[justforthesakeofitt]

How You Like That (M) Chaelisa (top rosé bot lisa)

Chapter 1

hi. this story contains many mature and adult themes that can be triggering and are just for fictional use. i don't condone any of this in real life, and this is pure fiction. so, therefore, if you can't handle that, please just leave this. but don't report this story. 

enjoy 🤍

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(warning. contains strong language, human trafficing, mentions of degradation, corruption, meansé, topsé, idek but the story in general is dark and mature. so if you can't handle that please don't read!!)

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roseanne smirked and swirled her glass around that was filled with her favorite champagne. the armand de brignac brut gold, which cost a mere two thousand two hundred dollars, had made it into the woman her favorite lists, when she tasted it for the first time when she was in France, at the age of nineteen. it made her feel as if she was drinking creamy silk with a lovely flavor, and she was all for that.

her silver hair, with a blueish undertone, was straightened and hung down

her back and over her perky breasts. the tint of her hair matched perfectly with her lamé velvet jacquard mini dress by one of her favorite brands, saint laurent. the dress was a perfect size, as it had been custom adjusted, and hugged her slim waist yet pretty wide hips quite well.

she was seated alone in her comfortable chair, her three bodyguards surrounding her so that she was protected at all costs. being rich had its many perks, but it also came with lots of downsides, such as constantly being exposed to the cruel world that was playing underneath everyone's feet. normal people usually weren't aware of half of the things that were going on behind the scenes of the portrayed world.

the dim and sensual lights that were present in the room, contradicted quite a lot with the chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. it seemed as if a night club had meet merged with a dining hall in an expensive mansion, yet they somehow made this entire look and vibe work.

and it was dangerous to know these secrets. behind all the glimmer and glamour of being rich, a lot of dark poison was hiding. and simply being aware of the poison, and knowing about how everything was really being run, was dangerous.

it was dangerous knowing which big companies, who were known for their customer service, actually had ten thousand upon then thousands of illegal so-called 'contract workers' working for them. people in the normal projected world thought that the people working for the minimum wage were being treated as slaves and inhumane, but they never saw the layer of people that were working even lower up than the minimum wage workers. and those were plenty.

billions upon billions of dollars would go down the drain if someone were to reveal that the biggest vegan chain in the world, also owned one of the biggest meat industries. if the companies that were known to fight climate change and induce eco-friendly ways of making products were owned by the same person that was one of the biggest carbon emitters.

if people know, that you know their secrets, your life is at great risk. and since the richest people in the world, all play the same game, you always had to be on your watch. this was no soccer game, where you had a theme behind you. this was like wrestle mania. only the strongest and smartest could survive. and the people that you would think are your friends, are the ones that wouldn't even hesitate to hire an assistant the moment they find a weak spot in you.

"number 603 thirty thousand dollars! going once. going twice. sold to miss kang!"

roseanne chuckled as the blonde girl got pulled off of the stage by her leash that watched attached to her neck. her head hung low and tears were streaming down her face as you could see them shimmer in the dim lights,  which made it all more amusing for the woman.

all of them looked like pathetic little lost puppies, getting pulled one by one to the stage where their new fate would be laid out for them. it all depended on who they ended up with.

her best friend, jennie, had found her own little pet this way and had suggested it to her. after years of being alone, and watching her best friend with the girl, she decided to finally come and see for herself. maybe she'd find something interesting here tonight. 

jennie's pet, who's name was jisoo, was quite a lucky girl. while jennie was quite a mean and tough person on a daily basis, she had developed a soft spot for her pet. it wasn't that she let the girl get away with shit, but she treated her well. better than these girls usually got treated.

jisoo had behaved so well and served her so graciously, that after one and a half year of her possession, jennie had granted her the privilege of being addressed by her name, which was quite rare for the girls that came from here.

not may of the owners ended up granting their pets the status of being called by their actual birth-given name, and rosé wouldn't be one of them either. while jennie was more of a dominant woman who loved for jisoo to worship her and take care of her, roseanne was the sadistic type. 

where jennie received pleasure by letting jisoo worship her feet and have the girl smothered underneath her wet dripping slit, eating her out until her thighs were trembling and she was panting heavily, roseanne wanted the girl to be laying at her feet, whimpers escaping her cracked lips as bruises and cuts were layered on her skin. 

the twenty-seven-year-old woman's eyes gravitated towards the podium once again, before she slightly shifted when she saw the girl that got pulled by the thick leather leash. 

her black lingerie contrasted beautifully with her pale skin, and her black hair had been put into two sideways ponytails with big red bows attached to them. that could only mean one thing.

she was a virgin.

girls with their hair loose were previous prostitutes or whores that they picked up from the streets, giving them the lowest value in the entire lineup.

girls with ponytails were normal girls that they managed to kidnap but weren't virgins anymore. 

but girls with their hair in this innocent style, and cute bows attached to it to give

them an even more pure look, were virgins.

and they sold for the highest prices.

almost everyone wanted a little virgin pet. it was a thrill knowing that all they would associate sex with was their owners. no previous partners or experiences to draw

comparisons from. 

just them.

when roseanne saw the girl's face, her doll-like features with her big doe eyes, and her plump pink lips, she knew that the girl was going to be hers.

"number 209! her price starts at a mere five hundred thousand dollars. who bids higher

than that?"

chaeyoung immediately held up her bidding board that had her slim fingers wrapping around the wooden part, "one million!"

another voice rang through the room, a few seconds later, with an offer of one and a half million dollars. but this girl was going to be hers. no matter the cost.

the bidding went on for a while before her offer rang throughout the room of "twenty-five million dollars." 

the man, that previously was bidding for the same girl, chewed on his bottom lip before shaking his head.

a smirk grazed roseanne her dark blue colored lips, "number 209 twenty-five million dollars! once! going twice! sold to miss park!"

her eyes locked with her newly bought pet, and she mindlessly licked her lips. the girl's eyes were glossy and looked with a terrified gaze at her. 

"yes...--" chaeyoung muttered to herself with s grin, "--be scared, doll. you aren't ready for what I have in store for you."

there were only a few girls left, so she patiently sat through it all, satisfied with her purchase of the evening. non of the girls could top her pet. and for once, she was glad that she had listened to jennie's advice.

after the auction was over, she walked to the back and got handed two briefcases by one of her bodyguards, which she delivered to the woman that was behind all of this.

"you made jessie very happy. i hope the girl will make you happy too."

roseanne hummed and watched as the men were counting the money, before turning her attention back to the woman in front of her, "everything is clean right? no traces. no record and no evidence."

jessie nodded and smacked her bright red lips together, "everything is clean. we tripled checked. the police have already been paid to drop the missing person case, so she has been declared dead. the parents are quite poor too so they won't be able to afford to search for her or take any legal actions. she's dead and has been reborn the moment you bought her."

roseanne smirked and, with a firm handshake, greeted the woman before she made her way into a dark hallway that led to where the girl should be.

she opened the door to a room and saw a black wooden crate, which had been sealed by a lid at the top, sitting on the floor in the middle of the room.

when she saw that it was the correct one, she snapped her fingers, making two of the three men quickly make their way over to the side and lifted up the top.

she once again, almost immediately crossed eyes with her toy, and saw how panicked and vulnerable she seemed. this made her feel only more in control and boosted her ego.

there were soft pleading whimpers coming from the bound girl, but she ignored them completely.

after a few seconds of further inspection, the crate got closed again.

"deliver her in an hour to my address. make sure that she keeps whatever bodily fluid she has inside of her. i don't want her to arrive in filth at my place."

she got helped into her thick fur coat, and flicked her hair back, before putting on a peeked black cap.

the men nodded in understanding and turned their attention on the crate. one of them followed her, also functioning as her driver, while the other two stayed behind.

there were two small holes on the top of the crate in the cover, which made sure that the girl got enough fresh air to stay conscious, but not enough to make her feel great, so the chance of her throwing up or peeing herself was a big possibility.

she just hoped that the girl could hold it in, as she was sure that she wouldn't hesitate to hose the poor thing down immediately. 

she climbed up the stairs before walking outside. 

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it was dark, already around the one at night, so the streets were fairly empty. these illegal legal things, were mostly done at night, just to give extra security and privacy.  "ready miss?" her chauffeur asked making her nod, "yes. take me home."

she stared out of the window, the snow slowly cascading down while the streets of Seoul were already covered in a thick layer of the frozen crystals.

it was only november, yet the heavens had sent them snow already. and to be fair, roseanne wasn't complaining. 

she smiled as she started to move up the hills, knowing that she was approaching her lovely home.  

her and her best friend, jennie, were actually neighbors, which was quite fun. this meant that she could show her new purchase off very soon, as all she had to do was go to the mansion next door. even tho it was a five-minute drive.

the moment the car stopped at the entrance of her house, she got out, hugging her black fur coat tighter around her body, before grabbing her purse and made her way inside.

"the room is ready right?" she asked one of her maids, who nodded and bowed slightly, before helping her out of her coat "yes ma'am. it is exactly like you wanted it to be."

she grinned and stretched herself before yawning a bit and walked inside.

"good. now, all we have to do is wait."

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#writeblr #fanfiction #fanfic #blackpink #blackpink smut #lisablackpink #lalisa manoban #jennie #rosé park #roseanne park #kpop #kpop smut #kpop au #chaelisa #dark fantasy #chapter one #how you like that

[lizzybeth1986]

Quick Thoughts on Lazy Writing, aka "Look Look, We Got You An Asian Woman LI, Now Give Us A Medal Just For Making Her Exist".

• Yep. This is not going to be about Chapter 15. I don't think Chapter 15 is worth a fucking QT post. It does not deserve it, this book doesn't deserve it, this team does not deserve it, I'm not giving it one.

• This chapter is basically part-resolution-of-Hana's-arc and part-sex-scene-on-the-balcony. I'll probably write about the balcony scene when I resume writing essays. But as of now...I'm going to write about Hana. At least that way she'll get the focus that she deserves, and that PB is so unwilling to give her 😡 So if you think I've whined too much about Hana Lee, my dear readers, let me tell you this: you ain't seen nothing yet. Leave now while you can if Hana-rants aren't your thing.

• Basically - since I'm not going to do the usual chapter walkthrough this QT - I'll summarize what happens. Xinghai and Lorelai insist on taking away Hana's belongings despite protests from Hana and the MC. There is a diamond option to help her retrieve her black embroidered cheongsam, which is more precious to her than anything else because it holds memories of her grandmother. Afterwards you get ready for the lantern festival and spend majority of the chapter trying to get Hana's parents to give a positive statement, and eventually figure out that Rashad is the key to this. You convince him to accept Xinghai's proposal, Lorelai and Xinghai openly support you and make a half assed apology to Hana, everyone is happy and telling each other their wishes, and the diamond option to scandalize the entire country (...or not. You can go to the bedroom instead lol) with your LI pops up. It ends with Maxwell getting excited about hosting your bachelorette in Las Vegas (somehow I have a feeling the TRR writers never read RoE Book 2).

• Yep that's it. There really is nothing worth writing about in this chapter, because they didn't bother to nail the most important part of it: and that is Hana's story.

• That's all I'm going to talk about today. Hana.

• Hana. Hana. Hana Hana. Hana Hana Hana. HanaHanaHanaHanaHanaHana.

• Did I mention Hana?

• Title: Light the Night. Which is straightforward, it's a festival dedicated to lanterns and takes place around nighttime. Though IMO the title should really have been: The Number of Fucks Given About Hana Lee By Her Own Writers Is Equal To The Number of Times Anton Severus Makes An Appearance In This Chapter

•

...I just had to slip that in somewhere since there is no way I can ever make this statement unironically IRL 😢

•

This is the first of many statements Hana's parents make about her inability to survive on her own. She is a "delicate flower" that requires watchful care and tending, and the MC is the "weed", the kind that doesn't fit in - but also the kind that is tough and resilient and can survive all manners of things, that depends on itself. Lorelai's argument is that without them, or without a partner that meets their approval, Hana will have very few skills to take care of herself (whose fault is that, I wonder!)

This is something Hana is aware of, and has been highlighting on the few occasions that the people who right her remember that she is meant to be a well-rounded character (which isn't often). She has spoken about not knowing how to live without her parents (Book 2 Chapter 2), how she doesn't know if her skills will help her in the real world (Book 3 Chapter 5), how she isn't even aware who she is (Book 2 Chapter 9). Her character arc was meant to be about learning what her parents neglected to teach her in their mad rush to make her the perfect aristocratic wife, the perfect hostess. Except that, unfortunately, these narrative threads were picked up in fits and starts: implied at and alluded to but never satisfactorily explored.

I will come back to punch holes in Lorelai's arguments (echoed by Xinghai at the festival) later.

•

On the surface this looks like a nice story? It harks back to a dress we've seen before (the black-red-gold cheongsam she'd shown us in Shanghai, alongside a dress she'd made specially for us. She also wears it when she proposes to the MC in case she's the one you declare your love to), something we know she made and is important to her, and tells us more about her youth (the dress seems to have been made when she was "of age", since those measurements perfectly fit an adult Hana) and her family in China. But I have two major problems with this:

1. How many chapters has it been since this book started? 19 chapters in Book 1, another 19 in Book 2 and 15 at present. That makes it 53 whooping chapters.

FIFTY THREE CHAPTERS AND WE LEARN ABOUT HANA'S GRANDMOTHER, SOMEONE SHE WAS IMMENSELY CLOSE TO, ONLY NOW??? IT TAKES US FIFTY THREE FUCKING CHAPTERS FOR US TO GAIN ACCESS TO THIS PIECE OF PERSONAL HISTORY????

2. The second major problem lies in the scene itself. I'll get there.

• So I'll start first with the main components of this scene:

1. The MC and Hana choose an accomplice (Maxwell/Olivia).

2. The accomplice distracts Lorelai

3. Hana distracts an attendant while the MC grabs the dress, but not before almost getting caught by another attendant. They make a run for it and find themselves in a secret hideout.

4. Hana changes into her dress and is happy. If you're marrying her, this is where she and the MC kiss. But besides this there's very little distinction between how this scene plays out if you're her friend versus if you're her fiancée.

•

The Olivia option of the Lorelai-distracting-segment is perhaps my favourite moment in the scene and the only reason it could be even remotely worth playing. Not just for Olivia herself, but also as a reminder that while Hana and Olivia have made their peace with each other and know each others' strengths, they will never actually like each other...and that's okay. Olivia reverts to her bitchy Book 1 persona, hinting at Hana's failed engagement with Lord Peter and casting her in a less favourable light, and I especially love that Hana lets her emotions take over here. There's always been a palpable tension between the two (and often Olivia is the one more open about it, while Hana usually prefers to display diplomacy instead) and this is one of the few times Hana gets to be anything other than neutral or cheerful. She doesn't like what Olivia said, and she makes it clear at least to the MC.

•

Hana Lee, Queen of Awkward Flirting xD xD

• We take a turn that almost lands us in a room where Lorelai is still talking, narrowly escape the attendant chasing us to finally find ourselves in a secret passage with a hole in the wall, from where you could easy watch the sunset.

• Hana changes into her cheongsam.

Very pretty. Lots of flowers and butterflies form the patterning of this dress.

• Now this was the point where I thought we'd learn more about this dress. Or about her grandmother. Or about her life in Shanghai. SOMETHING.

• But no. We get a brief conversation about how hurt Hana is that her mother is intent on disowning her, and the MC convincing her she is stronger than she believes herself to be. Which is nice, but it sounds like a repeat of what's been said before.

• Do you remember that one diamond scene option in The Sophomore where the MC get to to grab Natasha's Loose Pins posters so she can't sabotage Kaitlyn's band? I liked it, it was funny and I liked the thrill of the chase in that scene. And that was exactly the focus of that scene: the chase. Kaitlyn had other scenes focusing on her equation with the band, her trust issues post Gutter Kittens and how she has learned from her mistakes since TF Book 3. It made sense to have a funny, silly scene that revolved not around Kaitlyn but around that chase instead.

Well, that's exactly the focus of this scene. The chase! The fact that time was running out! The wild rush to grab that cheongsam before Hana's mother could catch her! That's exactly all this scene was meant to be and that's exactly how it was written.

But there's a huge difference here. Hana is not Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn's arc about her sexuality and about her coming out was highlighted in detail. She was given subplots that made it clear how complicated a journey it was for her and she has a canon sexuality openly addressed in the books. Hell, TF Book 2 has her scream "I'M GAY" in a crowded bar to her childhood friend Arjun!

Kaitlyn is allowed to be a well-rounded, imperfect person, who trusts the wrong people and suffers the consequences in such a way that it reflects on her self-esteem in the next few books. She had plenty of scenes exploring all these aspects of her journey, so a funny, light scene like this one works in the larger context of Kaitlyn's story.

But this scene - for Hana - was supposed to be the culmination of her entire journey. You hear that? Her entire journey! It was supposed to be the point where she made it clear to both her parents that this was who she was and this was the life she preferred to live, take it or leave it. This scene was supposed to be a watershed moment for her, and this is what it comes to? A scene where Hana isn't even the focus? Where her story, her journey isn't even the focus??

• The grandmother story irks me to no end for another reason too. It was clearly not meant to be development for Hana. If it were, there would have been more in the diamond scene itself. They would have spent the secret hideout scene on a thorough exploration of Hana and her childhood, her growing up, what this woman was like. If it really were meant as development, we wouldn't be hearing about this grandmother now at the very end.

No. That little tidbit about Hana's grandmother was bait. It's fairly obvious that most of us who love her character are literally starved for information about her compared to, say, Drake and Liam (Maxwell isn't exactly treated all that well either). So they push in this little story so that her fans can buy this scene that isn't even worth two diamonds, forget fifteen.

• So now we've got Hana's cheongsam, that she can now wear to the lantern festival (for a girl who knows how to sew, and sew beautifully, Hana has remarkably few outfits of her own) it's time for us to get ready. In some glittery beaded blue number.

Is it just me or does the art team for TRR have a thing for armbands?

• So the main problem now is to reach out to, and convince, Hana's parents before they make their final statements to the press.

• Penelope and Kiara love the festival, Olivia and Madeleine don't altogether hate it. Yay?

• Kiara is the only one among the court ladies whose wishes we hear, which is a nice touch considering she's always been the one given the least attention in the books. The lantern rituals are apparently both about letting go of things that are holding you back in your life, and making wishes for the future. Kiara is letting go of her doubts and her fears for this tour, and wishing speed in her learning of Icelandic. Hakim uses his wish to speak about work, and he's not the only one. Rashad needs help with getting a deal finalized for the Sloan firm too!

• We now move to Xinghai and try to convince him, but it only leads to a realization that Hana's parents still want to secure a match for her with the two men she'd firmly stated she had no interest in. This is nothing new, but this argument of Xinghai - also something Lorelai stated earlier - is something I want to expand on:

1. I'm incredibly familiar with the first argument. I've had a largely restrictive childhood under a very traditional Indian family dynamic (your parents are close to God so obey them), and didn't have much opportunity to mingle outside my home. As I grew older my father began to get increasingly frustrated that I was "glued to your mother's dupatta" (scarf) and not independent enough. And he said this genuinely, unironically. It never occurred to either of my parents that they'd created an environment that made it hard for me to actually make my own decisions without feeling like I was doing something wrong.

Xinghai and Lorelai are right to some extent: I mean, Hana herself on certain occasions has questioned how useful her skills are in the real world, in a Cordonia that needs her to be decisive and firm. But that didn't happen in a vacuum, did it? Both of them leave out (or in fact, don't even recognize) a significant truth about Hana's lack of independence - they were, to a large extent, responsible for it. She is dependent because they brought her up that way. Because they never gave her space to work things out on her own and the one time she demanded that space, they viewed it as an insult rather than actually give her that chance. The moment you place that much pressure and those many restrictions on a child, you've lost the right to talk about her lack of independence as if it's something that is a part of her. It isn't. You put her in that position. Tbh, it irks me that Xinghai and Lorelai genuinely don't see the irony in their statements.

What Hana had was an immensely restrictive childhood, and perhaps if she didn't have the friend circle in Cordonia that she did, she would have struggled. Her kind of upbringing doesn't allow for real world skills (something Lorelai views as a negative when she says "people wouldn't have to be resilient if they stayed in their place to begin with") and she's never been allowed to view even her own personal feelings as a good thing! This goes beyond "taking responsibility for one's past and future". She's never been allowed a responsibility that doesn't involve her being forced into matches she has had zero interest in, and that seem to have higher benefits for her family than they do for her.

All in all, Hana's skills do not fully equip her for independent living, sure, but they both overlook their own role in her eventual inability to adjust if it comes to that.

2. What Xinghai says about trust going both ways. He misses the fact that she already did. She trusted them completely and did everything they told her to, often to her own detriment. The engagement to Lord Peter? That's the perfect example of this. It wasn't her fault that the match broke: she followed through with it no matter how uninterested she was in the man, to the point where when he asked her if she really loved him she couldn't open up and tell him how she really felt. Yet she was viewed as responsible for the breaking of that match - for doing everything she was expected to do - and left Shanghai viewing herself as a failure.

She's spent years trusting them, spent most of her young life perceiving their worldview as correct and wanting to do right by them! She's gone above and beyond when it comes to trusting and respecting her parents' judgement! Even at the cost of her own happiness! There is only so much any human being can take before they realize how messed up this manner of bringing a child up is.

But guess what. None of this is actually addressed properly in the book, because we never get a real insight into Hana's upbringing and the effect it has had on his with any kind of nuance.

• After Xinghai and Lorelai tell us that what they're planning for Hana is for her own good, and imply that either Neville (the man is still around, yes) or Rashad can prove to be advantageous for her and moreso for their family and business. Hana and the MC briefly agonize over this, and if the MC correctly names the firm that Rashad wants as a client (IDK what happens if she doesn't - TBH I was sleepwalking through this chapter and wasn't interested in seeing what the alternative was this time. Sorry guys) they work on convincing him to work with Xinghai in exchange for introducing him to a contact in this firm.

• The MC first gets to choose what she will let go of, then chooses what she wishes for. Once this is done, Hana's mother makes a statement in support of the MC, having spoken to Rashad and suddenly realizing that their daughter can thrive without their handholding. Emotional family reunion. Everyone is happy. Lorelai apologizes and Xinghai reveals his wish for Hana to be happy. The end.

• There you go guys. This is how it ends. That's the conclusion of Hana's entire character arc. The culmination of a journey that lasted three whole books involving Hana fighting to create an identity for herself...ends in her parents realizing she's useful on her own after all. After all this time, after so much conflict and stress and confusion...it all boils down to her parents still seeing her more as an asset than as a daughter.

Awesome message, TRR, awesome message. Now give me a moment while I vomit.

Allow me to elaborate. She is still worthy only if she facilitates Xinghai's deal with Rashad's firm, if they manage to gain an advantage even minus her alliance with a titled man. There is no real change. Not in Hana, not in her parents, not in their relationship. This conclusion is superficial and is a horrifically weak way to end Hana's overall arc.

• To sum up the rest of the chapter before I give you a broader insight into why this chapter pissed me off so much...there is an LI diamond scene and then Maxwell announces a bachelorette party in Vegas (why aren't they doing that in Cordonia? Cordonia clearly has a gambling hub and a pretty famous casino if one were to recall RoE).

• The LI diamond scenes are quite sweet - all the LIs get to speak about family and having children - and there is a lot of sweetness and tenderness in all of them from what I've seen of the screenshots. Had this chapter not ruined this book for me, I would probably appreciate it better? In any case, I might do a four-LI-breakdown-essay of this scene once I feel up to it. I'll be doing the same for the LI scenes at the Capitol, Lythikos and Valtoria. Eventually.

• The Hana-specific scenes in this book, however...I think I'll pass. We have had just three so far: Polo Playing at Portavira, Snow Angel Making at Lythikos and Hana's Cheongsam here at Valtoria. None of these scenes possess any depth or nuance, none of them say much about Hana that hasn't already been said, each of them are pale echoes of the scenes we have seen Liam and Drake getting. If you're going to give an LI three individual scenes in 15 chapters of a book, those scenes had better be excellent, detailed and nuanced in their characterization. If you're not ready to give us that...then what's the point, team TRR??? You could have either given us more scenes with tiny but substantial tidbits, or less scenes but with bigger opportunities to know her better. But something tells me that you don't care enough about this character or your LGBTQ audience enough to actually do the work.

• And this problem isn't restricted to Book 3 alone. Hana has been subject to lazy writing since Book 2. The groundwork laid for Hana in Book 1 was really good...but that's all it was: basic groundwork. No Hana stan should have to pat you in the back for laying a good foundation for that character, not when the other two established LIs had just as solid a foundation PLUS excellent buildup in subsequent books. And no Hana stan should have to thank you now for throwing only scraps their way.

• Hana's foundations in Book 1 lay in two areas: her sexuality and her complicated relationship with her family. Hers was the classic coming-out-of-the-closet story, and it was heavily implied that she was never really given the space to view herself as anything but "straight", that she'd been pressurized into pursuing men, that the experience of falling for the MC itself was immensely confusing for her (in her first confession scene, she couldn't even articulate her feelings - that was how confusing this experience was).

But her sexuality is hardly ever directly touched upon in the books beyond that (beyond a botched Facebook response from a Pixelberry employee who dubbed her as "bi if she is pursuing you and straight if she is pursuing the Prince" like WTF - and a post from one of the writers stating that the team sees her as "bisexual...but that is something she is still figuring out". However the books never really touches on this the way they did for Kaitlyn, and they really, really should have. They should have established her sexuality in no uncertain terms within canon).

However she identifies herself, Hana's struggles would still be important and valid, and she would still have major issues coming out to herself and her family. In this recent chapter, Lorelai's issues are aired as a class issue rather than on the level of sexuality, which is contradicted by the very fact that Hana was pushed to pursue men, make herself desirable to eligible men, assumed by her parents to only have an interest in men. Not only does canon tell us very little about her parents' views on her sexuality, they don't openly voice what she identifies as!

• Book 1, in fact, is the only book they seemed to have put in some effort, but as I have maintained earlier, I refuse to give them credit for that because what you give in the first book is the foundation of the character. It can only come to life if you build on that foundation in the next book, and the next. But Book 2? Lazy writing from the start. The revelation that Liam - not Madeleine - was responsible for Hana's return came from Drake's scene, not hers. In Italy when Liam and Drake had amazing character and background building scenes, Hana was stuck with scenes that were barely about her. At the beginning of the Paris chapters, she got one of the most lackluster scenes in the entire book (the fashion runway with Penelope). I suppose there must have been some backlash because they brought out two good scenes in the Paris section - the Patisserie scene and the Library scene, only to treat her later like a persona non grata in Shanghai. SHANGHAI. HANA'S OWN HOME.

• This point is incredibly important, because Shanghai was the only place that was home to an LI. The narrative at this place should have been centered around her. The stories and love legends should have been told by her. Her background should have been receiving focus like never before but it didn't. Shanghai only lasted two chapters (as opposed to Capri's 3 and Paris' 4) and neither of those chapters gave her enough focus besides the confrontation with Xinghai. The panda reserve scene revolved around Liam. The night market scene focused on the mending of Drake and Maxwell's relationship with Hana functioning as a mere mediator. Liam was the one who got to give us the lovely dragon koi legend, not Hana who actually lived in China. Hana's only diamond scene in Shanghai focused less on her and more on the trip to NY - and she didn't even appear in the first chapter in that city!! (the writers later came up with the excuse that Hana was emotionally drained after her confrontation with her parents...except that NOBODY in the story - not even the MC - gave a flying fuck about where or how she was or why she wasn't there).

• I bring up Book 2 mainly because it's important for us to understand that what the writers have been doing with Hana isn't just restricted to this book or this post hiatus period. It's been ongoing. She's been given lazy, half-baked writing for a majority of the series, and I cannot even count the "development" she got in Book 1 because those are only building blocks. If you don't develop a character beyond that, all that's really there is a hollow shell. Hana had the promise and the potential to be a truly well-developed character, and they made a shell out of her instead.

• And it's not like the TRR team is unable to write women. Case in point: Olivia Nevrakis. Olivia's character development has been consistent and well-written throughout the entire series. Not only are her background, motivations and emotional state constantly given attention, the narrative somehow ensures she gets good development even when the focus isn't on her.

For instance, Olivia takes a definite backseat in Book 2, and she's mostly relegated to either investigation work or slowly becoming part of the MC's inner circle. She doesn't have a presence in group scenes where Liam appears, and she doesn't have a single individual scene the way she did in Books 1 and 3. Still, she is given enough material to facilitate her growing relationship with the MC (if she so chooses) and the group. As Liam's alternate LI, parallels have been consistently drawn between her and the MC especially in Book 3. Her faith and belief in Liam is constantly highlighted as unwavering, and her trust in the MC takes a while but culminates eventually in Olivia sharing an important part of her family history with her first.

Olivia's growth from a wary cactus to someone who trusts you if you reach out to her enough, wouldn't have been half as convincing if she wasn't given that kind of development. But perhaps this is because Olivia - like Liam - is so involved in the larger plot of the books, whereas Hana exists mostly outside of the main plot.

• But you know WHO isn't exactly all that central to the main plot of the series but still gets great character development? DRAKE. It started slow, with Drake's first individual diamond scene coming in as late as Chapter 7 (which IMO makes sense, since they needed the MC to warm up to him first), but he was given a solid foundation in Book 1 that was built on in Book 2, and furnished with detailing in Book 3. His diamond scenes were mostly rich in character development and the book was consistent in their focus of him as well.

In Book 3, there is a marked difference between how he is written as an LI versus as a friend. While his overall arc was frustrating to some readers, it was built up pretty well and the conclusion to it (the duel) was written in such a way that it really felt like a vindication of sorts. The duel in fact had an added significance if the MC was his fiancée, because both are commoners who are being targeted by Neville for "rising above their station". There isn't a single scene of Drake's in Book 3 that doesn't explore his character in a detailed manner, or have two diametrically different scenes highlighting his LI/non-LI status.

How does the duel act as a game changer for Drake? He tells it to us himself: the duel was not just for his honour alone, but for every commoner a noble has slighted. For his family, for his sister, for his fiancée (if he is marrying the MC) or friend. It's poignant, dramatic, powerful as a culmination of Drake's journey. The conflict resolution of an arc should end with a bang, and Drake's really did.

• Hana on the other hand is a different story altogether. No matter what her relationship is with the MC in Book 3, she is mostly relegated to "best friend" status regardless. Her initial conflicts as a fiancée seemed to indicate she feared turning into her parents (Chapters 1 and 2) and it sounded really promising, but that characterization was dropped as soon as the Unity Tour kicked off. She is depicted worrying about how she will survive and contribute to Cordonia and whether her skills really equipped her for the outside world, but it is explored only in one character scene of hers, and very very superficially.

Unlike the duel scene for Drake, Hana's conflict-resolution scene this chapter falls flat and doesn't really mark much of a change. The only difference in her relationship with her parents' is that they see her as useful minus a man by her side now. Emphasis on useful. What kind of resolution is that? Does it have a great impact? Does it have any impact?

• Hana's treatment is marginally better only when you compare it to Maxwell's, who has had just one character scene so far, and who hasn't seen much significant development since the beginning of Book 3. Even though the team has mentioned that he was meant to be an LI from the beginning, the way he was written in the beginning and the way they write him now tells me otherwise.

But they don't have that excuse for Hana. Hana WAS a confirmed LI from the beginning. She WAS part of the original lineup. Which means they should have been working as hard on her as they did Liam and Drake. What excuse does the team have for not developing her properly??

• The problem here is clear: both Drake and Olivia are centered within the narratives that focus on their stories. When the focus comes to Paris in Book 2, or Lythikos in Book 3, they are front and center. Compared to that, how is Hana going to compete? At the points that the narrative should be focusing on her, she is given garbage in place of content and story. Even when the narrative is supposed to be about her relationship with her parents and her growth outside their influence, she is the least important person. She was the least important person in Shanghai, and she's now the least important person in this chapter that was supposed to showcase how far she has come from the nervous, underconfident girl we met in Book 1. It's even more infuriating when you take into account that she was meant to be the only female LI, that they

1. never planned to give people who wanted to romance a woman in TRR more than just this option, and

2. couldn't be bothered to follow through and do a decent job of the one option they had.

• I hate calling Hana a Mary Sue, because that wasn't at all what she originally was. She was indecisive, had low self esteem, didn't always enjoy the activities and skulls she was pressurized into learning. There was at least one occasion where she spoke of getting her way by failing...and now the same character is labelled a Mary Sue.

But you know what? There's a reason why she is addressed as such. A Mary Sue is a mark of lazy writing and poor characterization, used on characters that are made to appear perfect in lieu of real development. And while Hana started out a little flawed and confused and in need of guidance, she soon turned into this Ms Perfect who was talented in everything and received praises from everyone instead of an actual insight into her character.

• Hana is at a disadvantage on her own. She is the only LI among the four who was brought up elsewhere (in China), and who wasn't from familiar ground (America)/fictional places (Cordonia) for the writers. Her issues are very culture-specific, they rise out of a context. Not many people may relate to that straightaway so it is essential that her story is handled with a lot more care and nuance. She is a woman of colour who is in the closet, brought up (as is hinted) in a family that doesn't exactly view her sexuality as normal. This is how the Hana of Book 1 was written.

Then Book 2 happened, and the writers either realised they didn't know enough to write this story convincingly, or didn't care enough to do the research. I suspect it's a mix of both. Even so, they should have done some reading up, done some homework, tried to at least center this character around her own narrative. No one is asking for a thesis on society and norms in Shanghai - they're asking for some good background, some basic research, legends and stories that she must have grown up with, if that's what it takes to do justice to this character. If you're going to create a character so unfamiliar to this world and make her a love interest, you had better put in the work that story requires.

Otherwise stop. Stop branding yourself as LGBTQ friendly when most of your female LI fans have to make do with mere scraps, stop patting yourselves on the back for including women of colour in your books when you view them as nothing but tokens.

• I'm sure Liam and Drake sound more lucrative...popular...whatever...and that factors into the way they're being writen, but when the lone female LI consistently gets the short end of the stick, what do you expect? They write Hana (and many other female LIs) in such a way that they're almost set up to fail. At least a few players I have spoken to have highlighted how they went from liking Hana in Book 1 to hardly interested in her presence in Book 2. That change didn't occur out of nowhere: when the writers themselves don't write her with any amount of conviction, how do you expect the readers NOT to lose interest?

There have been a lot of improvements made in terms of readers' demands. Whether it involved the way LI scenes were written, or Liam's initial lack of romantic interactions in Book 3, or even how Kiara's PTSD was addressed. The one thing neglected every. single. time. was Hana. And I'm saying this because I've spoken and spoken and spoken about how little Hana is given and how much more she deserves, and things still haven't changed. I highly doubt they will at this point. It's too late now. Hana's arc is largely over, and her ending makes absolutely no sense when you compare it to the way her story was initially written. Had she had the kind of focus that, say, Drake has been having, we wouldn't have this rushed mess of a conclusion for her story.

• Tldr: Hana could reached her potential as a character. She could have been interesting, imperfect, inspiring. If her writers were actually bothered. But they aren't, so those of us who do love her are left wondering if we care about her more than the people who created her (yes we do). I'm tired, fam. I give up. I think I'm done with this book, and I don't think I can ever get back to loving it the way I used to.

#the royal romance #trr hana #hana x mc #hana lee #hana rant #trr quick thoughts #quick thoughts #i think i'm done with this book #long post

[analphancones]

Sweetie, I'm very happy now. I'm a grown adult engaged to another adult. You need to understand that the nice things he does for you doesn't make it suddenly an appropriate relationship. They also aren't remarkable traits in a partner. Nobody should be getting married at 16. I know you think you're grown and mature enough. With time you'll grow to realize just how young and naive 16 yrs really is. You can rationalize all you want; there's not a thing you could say that I didn't tell myself.

I /had/ to get married at 16. My parents knew marrying him would emancipate me. And cps was opening a case against them after I was hit by a car because I wasn't living with my mother. I wasn't living with my mother because he husband was physically and sexually abusing me. For a short while I was at my father's, but I became a desperate drunk and a broken cold stoner. When I was 15 I ended up pregnant and my dad either wanted my life to be that of a prisoners or for me to get out. Joshua asked me to move in with him. My mother saw the opportunity and told me I should marry him since its grounds for automatic emancipation which means I'm no longer he problem legally nor is she mine. My mother is the one who pressured me to get married so she'd no longer have to atone to her shitty parenting. I was with Josh already when that happened. He was a wonderful human being. His exact words on why he was helping me so much was "Im so in love with you. And I was where you're at once. When my mom kept shooting up and going to mental hospitals because she loved drugs more than me. I wished I could leave sooner and couldn't. I just want better for you than I had." and I sobbed. Joshua isnt smart, he's not very easy to deal with when he's moody and he's very stubborn. But he's got a million and one great qualities that out do that. He's kind to me even when I don't deserve it, when I'm irrationally angry hell spend how ever much time needed comforting me. He's wise about how he wants to be as a parent, his goals, the future he wants to build that involves me by his side. He's passionate about things like photography and singing and my writing. He isn't a very good reads but of I write something I want him to see, hell read it despite how much he hates reading because of how low his reading level is. When I say no to sex, that's that and he leaves it be. Sometimes, I get upset about sex because of years of being raped and I'll start crying and all Josh does is hold me to his chest and let me ramble, listening and using calm words to bring me down. Joshua has done nothing but improve my mental health. Anyone can see that. Back when I was with Ashton my mental health was so shitty and you could even see that just from how I posted on SC for fucks sake. And now I'm always smiling and enjoying my hobbies and I'm passionate about life and pursuing a future when I haven't been that way in years. My marriage was something neither of us wanted but did for the greater good because we knew it'd be better for me to not be attached to my piece of shit family anymore. But our relationship in general? Our relationship is healthier than anything I've ever had with family, lovers, friend and foe alike, etc. I've never been more thrilled to know I'm spending my days with somebody and the fact you can't understand shows you're stubborn and short sighted on things you don't understand. I'm sorry you went through what you did and I'm glad you're better now, but don't you dare say I'm in the same spot as you because I'm not. I'm very, very happy with my significant other.