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kinfeelings · 1 year

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30-day fictionkind challenge...all in 1 go!

My kintype is a (psychological? spiritual?) vaporeon pokémon whose sex I don't even know yet. Equal chances of being male or female. I'm trying to figure out if I'm in fact a feral one, likely abandoned someplace wild by an irresponsible human ex-owner as an eevee? Maybe?

My dysphoria is pretty light tbh. I used to absolutely despise being human when I was younger and full of debilitating self-hatred. I've gotten much better and healed since then, and I accept that I live in a human body; it's really not so bad. Hence why I call myself "alterhuman" instead of just "nonhuman" entirely. Still can't avoid nor ignore my otherness though, and I don't want to.

I am exclusively open with only some of my online circles about being alterhuman. Nobody I know IRL would understand at all. I'm okay with keeping certain things to myself.

I participate in the Pokémon fandom regularly! I play the games, occasionally watch the anime, and make my own AUs and fanfics and fanart. It's fun.

I often fictionflicker! Mostly for two particular (and very AU) protagonists (Randy Cunningham from RC9GN, and Jack Spicer from Xiaolin Showdown) of my biggest fanfiction/crossover project Retoldverse which I have a blog for here: @retoldverse-crossover-au. It's not a sideblog, I made my own separate new email/account for it to be its own mainblog. Not extremely active but ok I'm done self-plugging...as for other flickers, do other pokémon species count lol?

When I was a teen on Tumblr I gradually began hearing about "otherkin" and after while the mentions became so frequent on my dash, not always in a good light, that I decided to look into 'em and I at first was leery because it seemed very mockable but at the same time the notion seemed familiar to me in a strange way. I must've been...16 maybe? Maybe a little younger. I've been here ever since.

My introduction to fictionkin was basically what I said in #6 lol.

I am similar to vaporeon in that I like being in pools, rivers, and beaches. I can't fuckin' swim though...I sink like a rock whenever I try.

I don't look anything like a vaporeon whatsoever.

@aestherians

I know/have seen a bunch of fictionkin of all kinds.

Never had a canonmate. It would be nice to have at least one.

I doubt it's possible for there to be a double of my kintype because I am just a random vaporeon, not canon to any existing media at all.

Shifts are nice. I get them most often when I'm in or near a body of moving freshwater, less so but still noticeably when I'm in a manmade pool, or when I'm watching environment ambience videos about lakes/river sounds/visuals on YouTube. It can also happen randomly, just springing up on me suddenly.

I don't like KFF, especially not the ones who actually know and understand what they're doing and still do it anyway.

I like symbols/flags/etc. They're neat.

I used to think my kintype was spiritual but now I'm not so sure. More likely psychological and parallel-lifey?

It definitely has something to do with my neurodivergence yeah. I'm autistic.

Nobody's ever pointed out to me that I'm "like a vaporeon" in any sense.

I would like to buy more vaporeon merch one day, probably stuff from Etsy. I have an art charm of a normal vaporeon and a shiny one on the opposite side attached to my wallet currently, I bought it from the Etsy store LoafiDoodles. Totally recommend!

I can't really think of anything I'd change about the fictionkin community tbh.

I appreciate the open-mindedness of the fictionkin community in general, and also in the entire otherkin umbrella.

I can get pretty obsessive over Pokémon in all honesty lol.

The worst anti-fictionkin take I've seen is one we're probably all familiar with: "You're delusional, you're schizophrenic, you're trying and wanting to be something you're not." I hate hearing it.

Haven't seen any "best" anti-fictionkin arguments, imo.

I like listening to environmental ambience of running freshwater like I said before. Not really music except for abstractly.

Sea lions!

I have a favorites folder on DeviantArt just for vaporeon fanart that I really love.

I love fish tacos and I like to float in swimming pools and wade in rivers whenever I get the chance to and the weather is right.

It's pretty cool being a vaporeon, overall. I wouldn't change it.

Link to the blank challenge.

Did it all in a single post because I'd most certainly forget to complete it day-by-day if I did it the normal way.

#challenge #vaporeon #ansel speaks #old

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pumpkinpaix · 3 years

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Hello! Feel free not to answer this question if it is in any way too much, but I've been wondering about something concerning the "western" mdzs fandom. Lately, i have seen multiple pieces of fanart that use what is clearly Christian symbolism and sometimes downright iconography in depicting the characters. I'm a european fan, but it still makes me vaguely uneasy. I know that these things are rarely easy to judge. I'm definitely not qualified to do so and was wondering if you have an opinion

Hi there! thank you for your patience and for the interesting question! I’ve been thinking about this since i received this ask because it?? idk, it’s difficult to answer, but it also touches on a a few things that I find really interesting.

the short answer: it’s complicated, and I also don’t know what I feel!

the longer answer:

i think that this question is particularly difficult to answer because of how deeply christianity is tied to the western art and literary canon. so much of what is considered great european art is christian art! If you just take a quick glance at wiki’s page on european art, you can see how inextricable christianity is, and how integral christian iconography has been in the history of european art. If you study western art history, you must study christian imagery and christian canon because it’s just impossible to engage with a lot of the work in a meaningful way without it. that’s just the reality of it.

Christianity, of course, also has a strong presence in european colonial and imperialist history and has been used as a tool of oppression against many peoples and nations, including China. I would be lying if I said I had a good relationship with Christianity--I have always faced it with a deep suspicion because I think it did some very, very real damage, not just to chinese people, but to many cultures and peoples around the world, and that’s not a trauma that can be easily brushed aside or reconciled with.

here is what is also true: my maternal grandmother was devoutly christian. my aunt is devoutly christian. my uncle’s family is devoutly christian. my favorite cousin is devoutly christian. when I attended my cousin’s wedding, he had both a traditional chinese ceremony (tea-serving, bride-fetching, ABSURDLY long reception), and also a christian ceremony in a church. christianity is a really important part of his life, just as it’s important to my uncle’s family, and as it was important to my grandmother. I don’t think it’s my right or place to label them as simply victims of a colonialist past--they’re real people with real agency and choice and beliefs. I think it would be disrespectful to act otherwise.

that doesn’t negate the harm that christianity has done--but it does complicate things. is it inherently a bad thing that they’re christian, due to the political history of the religion and their heritage? that’s... not a question I’m really interested in debating. the fact remains that they are christian, that they are chinese, and that they chose their religion.

so! now here we are with mdzs, a chinese piece of media that is clearly Not christian, but is quickly gaining popularity in euroamerican spaces. people are making fanart! people are making A LOT of fanart! and art is, by nature, intertextual. a lot of the most interesting art (imo) makes deliberate use of that! for example (cyan art nerdery time let’s go), Nikolai Ge’s What is Truth?

I love this painting! it’s notable for its unusual depiction of christ: shabby, unkempt, slouched, in shadow. if you look for other paintings of this scene, christ is usually dignified, elegant, beautiful, melancholy -- there’s something very humanizing and humbling about this depiction, specifically because of the way it contrasts the standard. it’s powerful because we as the audience are expected to be familiar with the iconography of this scene, the story behind it, and its place in the christian canon.

you can make similar comments about Gentileschi’s Judith vs Caravaggio’s, or Manet’s Olympia vs Ingres’ Grande Odalisque -- all of these paintings exist in relation to one another and also to the larger canon (i’m simplifying: you can’t just compare one to another directly in isolation etc etc.) Gauguin’s Jacob Wrestling the Angel is also especially interesting because of how its portrayal of its content contrasts to its predecessors!

or! because i’m really In It now, one of my favorite paintings in the world, Joan of Arc by Bastien-Lepage:

I just!!! gosh, idk, what’s most interesting to me in this painting is the way it seems to hover between movements: the hyperrealistic, neoclassical-esque take on the figure, but the impressionistic brushstrokes of the background AAA gosh i love it so much. it’s really beautiful if you ever get a chance to see it in person at the Met. i’m putting this here both because i personally just really like it and also as an example of how intertextuality isn’t just about content, but also about visual elements.

anyways, sorry most of this is 19thc, that was what i studied the most lol.

(a final note: if you want to read about a really interesting painting that sits in the midst of just a Lot of different works, check out the wiki page on Géricault’s Raft of the Medusa, specifically under “Interpretation and Legacy”)

this is all a really long-winded way of getting to this point: if you want to make allusory fanart of mdzs with regards to western art canon, you kind of have to go out of your way to avoid christian imagery/iconography, especially when that’s the lens through which a lot of really intensely emotional art was created. many of my favorite paintings are christian: Vrubel’s Demon, Seated, Perov’s Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane, Ge’s Conscience, Judas, Bastien-Lepage’s Joan of Arc, as shown above. that’s not to say there ISN’T plenty of non-christian art -- but christian art is very prominent and impossible to ignore.

so here are a few pieces of fanwork that I’ve seen that are very clearly making allusions to christian imagery:

1. this beautiful pietà nielan by tinynarwhals on twitter

2. a lovely jiang yanli as our lady of tears by @satuwilhelmiina

3. my second gif in this set here, which I will also show below:

i’m only going to talk about mine in depth because well, i know exactly what i was thinking when I put this gif together while I can’t speak for anyone else.

first: the two lines of the song that I wanted to use for lan xichen were “baby, I’m a fighter//in the robes of a saint” because i felt that they fit him very well. of course, just the word “saint” evokes catholicism, even if it’s become so entwined in the english language that it’s taken on a secular meaning as well.

second: when I saw this scene, my immediate thought was just “PIETÀ!!” because LOOK at that composition! lan xichen’s lap! nie mingjue lying perpendicular to it! the light blue/white/silver of lan xichen in contrast to the darker robes of both nie mingjue and meng yao! not just that, but the very cool triangular structure of the image is intensely striking, and Yes, i Do love that it simultaneously ALSO evokes deposition of christ vibes. (baxia as the cross.... god..... is that not the Tightest Shit) does this make meng yao joseph of arimathea? does it make him john the evangelist? both options are equally interesting, I think when viewed in relation to his roles in the story: as a spy in qishan and as nmj’s deputy. maybe he’s both.

anyways, did I do this intentionally? yes, though a lot of it is happy accident/discovered after the fact since I’m relying on CQL to have provided the image. i wanted to draw attention to all of that by superimposing that line over that image! (to be clear: I didn’t expect it to all come through because like. that’s ridiculous. the layers you’d have to go through to get from “pretty lxc gifset” --> “if we cast nie mingjue as a christ figure, what is the interesting commentary we could do on meng yao by casting him as either joseph of arimathea or john the evangelist” are like. ok ur gonna need to work a little harder than slapping a song lyric over an image to achieve an effect like that.)

the point of this is: yes, it’s intentionally christian, yes I did this, yes I am casting these very much non-christian characters into christian roles for this specific visual work -- is this okay?

I obviously thought it was because I made it. but would I feel the same about a work that was written doing something similar? probably not. I think that would make me quite uncomfortable in most situations. but there’s something about visual art that makes it slightly different that I have trouble articulating -- something about how the visual often seeks to illustrate parallels or ideas, whereas writing characters as a different religion can fundamentally change who those characters are, the world they inhabit, etc. in a more... invasive?? way. that’s still not quite right, but I genuinely am not sure how to explain what i mean! I hope the general idea comes across. ><

something else to think about is like, what are pieces I find acceptable and why?

what makes the pieces above that reference christian imagery different than this stunning nieyao piece by @cyandemise after klimt’s kiss? (warnings for like, dead bodies and vague body horror) like i ADORE this piece (PLEASE click for fullview it’s worth it for the quality). it’s incredibly beautiful and evocative and very obviously references a piece of european art. I have no problem with it. why? because it isn’t explicitly christian? it’s still deeply entrenched in western canon. klimt certainly made other pieces that were explicit christian references.

another piece I’d like to invite you all to consider is this incredible naruto fanart of sakura and ino beheading sasuke after caravaggio’s judith. (warnings for beheading, blood, etc. you know.) i also adore this piece! i think it’s very good both technically and conceptually. the reference that it makes has a real power when viewed in relation to the roles of the characters in their original story -- seeing the women that sasuke fucked over and treated so disrespectfully collaborating in his demise Says Something. this is also!! an explicitly christian reference made with non-christian japanese characters. is this okay? does it evoke the same discomfort as seeing mdzs characters being drawn with christian iconography? why or why not?

the point is, I don’t think there’s a neat answer, but I do think there are a lot of interesting issues surrounding cultural erasure/hegemony that are raised by this question. i don’t think there are easy resolutions to any of them either, but I think that it’s a good opportunity to reexamine our own discomfort and try and see where it comes from. all emotions are valid but not all are justified etc. so I try to ask, is it fair? do i apply my criticisms and standards equally? why or why not? does it do real harm, or do i just not like it? what makes one work okay and another not?

i’ve felt that there’s a real danger with the kind of like, deep moral scrutiny of recent years in quashing interesting work in the name of fear. this morality tends to be expressed in black and white, good and bad dichotomies that i really do think stymies meaningful conversation and progress. you’ll often see angry takes that boil down to things like, “POC good, queer people good, white people bad, christianity bad” etc. without a serious critical examination of the actual issues at hand. I feel that these are extraordinarily harmful simplifications that can lead to an increased insularity that isn’t necessarily good for anyone. there’s a fine line between asking people to stay in their lane and cultural gatekeeping sometimes, and I think that it’s something we should be mindful of when we’re engaging in conversations about cultural erasure, appropriation etc.

PERHAPS IT IS OBVIOUS that I have no idea where that line falls LMAO since after all that rambling I have given you basically nothing. but! I hope that you found it interesting at least, and that it gives you a bit more material to think on while you figure out where you stand ahaha.

was this just an excuse to show off cool (fan)art i like? maybe ¯\_(ツ)_/��

(ko-fi)

#Anonymous #asks and replies #art #fanart #art history #christianity #mdzs #mdzs meta #meta #mine #mymeta #cyan gets too deep in the weeds #lmfao this post is a mess ive been staring at it for like a week and at this point im just gonna post it to the wall and keep moving asldfj #hope you enjoyed

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legionofpotatoes · 3 years

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I love your art, it is very detailed in a neat way. Was wondering how you got started making it as a source of income? How did you get your first paid work, I'd love some advice on how to get started, if that's ok

Thank you. Of course it's okay, although I doubt I have enough work experience in art to really delve into this. I only went full freelance this year, and had been juggling art as a side hobby until then. If you're still interested in my somewhat narrow perspective, and are okay with my long-winded rambles, I'll give it a shot:

So to answer your question fully, I'll describe how I started and move into personal advice and learnings later on. As a disclaimer, I am a white cishet dude in my late twenties with a moderate cocktail of mental illnesses, but overall I can pass for a functioning adult so a lot I have to say may come laced with privilege I cannot fully identify.

So uhh I began drawing in around 2012? I think? Maybe halfway through 2011? And I mostly made fanart for things I enjoyed and tried to branch out in communities that felt nourishing to my style and interests (I caught a bug for alt posters and enjoyed mainstream movies so I spent a long time on posterspy early on). There were a handful of opportunities that came from there but I could only accept a couple because of primary workplace commitments. Still, it showed that networking in a focused community was definitely a good place to start; I myself have huge trouble committing to social networks and really staying socially active, but I knew it was an essential ingredient in succeeding so I tried to make myself be involved in challenges and art support trains etc. as much as I could.

In parallel to all that I also ran a few third party online stores (redbubble, teepublic) for disposable income and would sometimes, if rarely, hit around $100-150 a month from those sources combined. It is a sort of thing that requires helper accounts on other social media sites to promote it on, because the stores themselves have a huge volume of content that translates into low organic discoverability. Obviously it was never gonna be the way towards financial independence through art, and with community projects being few and far between, I opened private commissions in around uhhh 2017 I think, focusing on offering a few styles I knew I could do well, and sometimes operating in individual fandoms (it was mostly a bioware thing to be frank). But I had to close them back down after a year or so, again because of work-life conflict and how badly it was burning me out. The reason I kept trying to monetize this hobby is because I honestly hated what I did for my main job and wanted to see a way out in some shape or form in the future.

And then in 2020 I had to quit my main job altogether because of *gestures at pandemic* and deal with a mental breakdown from all the wonderful things it did to us and me specifically. I took a short break and decided to give art a shot full-time, and that was around May this year. I was planning on opening up commissions again (and I still am), but a few sudden opportunities that fell in my lap moved that timetable down and now I'm grateful to even be doing something I am getting adequately paid for.

So, with that somewhat limited perspective, here's what I've learned that I'd tell myself if I was just starting out:

1. Being a fan of something can be a shortcut towards effective networking kickoffs. Which are important evidently. If you love something and enjoy making content for it, join communities, settle into a combination of social media websites that feel right for those interests + your body of work + your inner rhythm, and try to play to content discovery as much as your mental health allows you to. Like I said, I know that I myself am incredibly bad at self-motivating to talk to people, so I found that synergizing common interests into fanart - which I enjoyed making anyway - could be a way to give myself a gentle nudge forward and build those bridges leading to community activities, which then net experience and coverage. Sometimes even freelance projects from official avenues. Again; picking the right spaces for what you're after is key. Companies roam twitter, concept art recruiters scour artstation or linkedin etc, instagram can land you private commissions and collab opportunities, so on and so forth. Find your niche and try to kick up dust. However...

2. I do not believe that any social profile can replace a good portfolio. The thing that made an immediate difference to me this year was building a coherent, simple website with my best work front and center and a contact form on top. Every single opportunity I got came from that form (maybe via twitter or instagram initially, but always sealing the decision after going through the website), so I firmly believe that showcasing your skills and portfolio in a visually arresting and user-friendly way is a big priority. I had some reservations about tackling that task but fortunately I had help from a savvy life partner and we slapped it together via wordpress in less than a day. Twitter/whatever social media is prevalent in your target groups is definitely important to get the right eyes on your shit, yes, but those eyes will then look for a second stop where your work and rates are more clear and concise. Simplicity is key imo, I cannot overstate this. So make a cute, simple portfolio!

3. Your skills and rates will grow and change as you do. Let them. Over the years I built several lasting professional relationships from my obsession over mass effect and kept getting opportunities both from bioware and their partner companies, some small and some a bit bigger. A one-off job earlier this year opened an unexpected door to another much larger commitment, and then the work I did there brought some attention from small businesses looking for commercial commissions. These were all incredibly different projects in terms of scope and budget, and I've been tackling them all on a case-by-case basis and slowly coming into my own irt my needs, rates, and SOW thresholds. It is still a work in progress (and a LOT of literal work as well), and very much a thing I struggle with in publicly marketing, which is why I felt a tad underqualified to answer your question in the first place (obviously I did not let that stop me). But what it means for me now is that I am rapidly developing into whatever my "version" of a functioning freelance artist is, and when the conditions for that guy are met, I need to be able to confidently plant myself and operate from that space despite past precedents. Do not let anyone bully you into downpricing what you yourself perceive as legitimate products of personal growth and development. Speaking of which...

4. The shitty challenge of turning envy into inspiration, and paddling outside your comfort zones in full riot gear. it is hard, but realizing that being a miserable, self-hating artist in my early days got me nothing but more misery back was the first real step I took and what truly blew the hinges off. I was just not pleasant to be around, I would badmouth my work all the time, and it all somehow made sense in my broken mind because the validation I sought was purely external and the way I sought it was through eliciting sympathy via self-victimization (even when I made something objectively nice). It all led fucking nowhere. Except perhaps to my own narcissism that I one day managed to identify and start managing. So I started looking at things that made me seethe with envy and calmly deconstruct and figure out their inner workings instead, do studies, and find nuggets of inspiration or discover new ways to approach rendering or building up specific elements. It was an application of analytical diligence to what I wanted to be a purely emotional, esoteric workflow, but that I deep down knew wasn't. Art is a discipline and a skill, and maybe it isn't a straight line, but you gotta find some line to thread nevertheless. Being self-hating was almost an identity I had to break out of, and despite it still being like, 4-5% there? I realize its cause and effect on me, my work, and those around me, so it is with a conscious choice that I gently set it aside when I work and especially when I learn. It won't always stay quiet, but the effort is the difference. Your doors towards accepting true growth and venturing into uncharted territories, art styles, and networking will really open from there. But there's a huge caveat...

5. Toolsets, accessibility, privilege, and all the good things that enable artistic expression and profitability are not given equal to all. you might do all the mental work I mentioned to be ready to rock and roll and learn and draw your way out of anything, but digital art is a fucking money pit that asks almost too much at times. I don't got a good case study here but identifying and ensuring accessibility to the tools you need to do your best work is, like, super important. The ergonomics can improve as you make money and settle into the job, but the basics have to be made available to you. And some of that might not even be under your direct control. That can be anything from pen tablets to software subscriptions to opportunities in hiring sullied by sexism or what have you. You gotta navigate all that through careful networking and money/time management. I don't do a good job of devoting specific slices of time to work/study, and my primary clutch is iPad software which went from a good deal to a nightmare scenario over the years. So all I can say here is do what I didn't; network, invest in a PC/tablet, and pick a software you'll learn that won't burn a hole in your pocket.

6. Be nice to work with? This one is hard to articulate and has landed my own ass in hot water in my early years because of how socially inept I am, but nothing is more worthwhile than being.. like. a good person to work with. That can be anything like meeting deadlines, or sometimes missing them but eloquently articulating why, being generous in early stages, being communicable and not too wordy in your emails, having a good grasp on abstract artistic concepts and how to describe them in simple terms, having a clear, laid out framework of your working rates in commercial and non-commercial projects and sticking to those guns with grace, understanding when you need to say no and saying it well, the works. Just being nice. Sometimes that might mean going headstrong with something you believe in, or simmering down and sucking up to the big man, all relative and adaptive. Part and parcel of the service provision dance that we all have to do in order to make bank. Know your lines here, obviously, and don't like. work for nazis. or uh.. *shudders* exposure. but be nice and empathetic and communicable and word will travel eventually. Skill may be in abundance these days, but good people are most certainly not, and capitalism has a way of bubbling up scarcity. Grim, but uh, them's the breaks.

I know I'm ultimately telling you to like. Have a body of work, make a portfolio, grow, and network. But that's really how I see it for now. And being nice can be a cherry on top that sets you apart, along with the inherent irreplaceable voice of your artwork. I think I rambled on enough, but if there is something specific you need my help with, even if you want to come off anon and talk in private, please feel free.

#anon #asks #long post #sorry I cant actually condense ideas better :(

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hange-zone · 3 years

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hey...i’ve sat with the ending for a bit and am still not entirely sure what to feel. i will say i’m bit sad that it’s over - i started this series with friends back in 2014, and was little and giddy and excited about it. i consumed a lot of jeanmarco fic (wisteria! LAD! render! strings! etc) and that one really good eremin (we were kings...which is probably half the reason why i’m writing it so feverishly now) + fanart (johannathemad! icarus theory! gimmes! many many more that i’m happy to share but don’t remember right now cos it’s 5am)

and then life went on and i forgot about it mostly because...life...and only got back into it a few months ago when the anime was back on netflix and i watched most of it in the span of a week. and i’m here, again.

i have to admit i don’t exactly read the manga and i stopped the anime for a bit because at the heart of it i’m also not sure how to feel about the time skip. i think that’s on me though - the basement was built up to be this black box and i think a large part of the fun was the not knowing, and the journey to the basement was used as a framing device. so once we found out that fell away and i don’t think any reveal would have been completely satisfactory. and i have issues with the timeskip but it’s probably me being picky (lol dm me if you’d like to know more, i am such a rambler)

though admittedly there are parts of the post timeskip i do enjoy - you can tell i’m obsessed with that one scene eren and armin stare at each other, i love the new designs, i especially love armin lol - and I appreciate parts of the perspective it’s trying to give too in the broadest sense (ie the anti-war themes...effect of propaganda... at least I THINK that’s what we were supposed to take away at the start of season 4 because I stopped watching the show then for a whole host of reasons)

was looking over (ok, glued to) reddit yesterday and it occured to me parts of the fandom (read: r/yeagerbomb) can be quite toxic (as with any large fandom I guess!) so I was hoping to avoid that but also like understand what’s going on...i think honestly i was a bit disappointed in the ending, at first i was actually upset but now i’m just...alright. mostly i think i’m sad it’s ended and that’s mixed up with how I feel in general. but I've thought about it and overall it’s an ending in the broadest sense, I mean it largely served its purpose and I think importantly for endings, tied up main threads of the plot. and i respect the decisions the author has made, even as we’re all entitled to our opinion and you can disagree. I do wish some other choices made or it were done slightly differently. mostly I wish it had more time to develop some themes and I think generally some parts of the series were a bit convoluted.

if you’d like my (uninformed) thoughts i am happy to share - they’re in more detail below! and i’d like to hear yours too:)

if it helps i didn’t buy the whole ‘chad eren’ thing at all - at heart he is still a nineteen year old boy and he’s probably still small and scared - something which i’ve explored! - and while i appreciate that eremika didn’t exactly come out of nowhere i’ve always read it as them wanting the domesticity with each other, wanting to live out full, normal lives, but not necessarily just about the exclusivity of a relationship, which is what some readings of the last chapter seemed to suggest (& hence i kinda get why people are so mad that that he comes off as an incel but idk, maybe it’s the translations? i personally am choosing to read it as the first part - that he wanted deep down to have the space to live out a long, natural life with the people he loves).

but wrt to eremika my main thing is that i’m a bit iffy on the parallels to ymir because personally i’m not a bit fan of that entire ymir/fritz thread...1) i get the slave...to love but it also feels a bit like it romanticises their relationship? maybe i’m reading too much into it. but more importantly to me 2) i feel it complicates things a bit because we can’t then pin down if it’s eren or her making the executive decisions which then becomes a bit more thematically murky and doesn’t help with characterisation...I mean if he’s a plot device then he is a plot device, if he’s a character with agency then he’s a character, if he blurs the line between both it becomes a bit of an issue as there aren’t real stakes and character development then becomes a bit of a question mark since there’s also this tendency to reduce him to a symbol...and yeah, as we see the whole headache-inducing nature of this is quite evident now... (and i want to feel for eren!)

also not a super fan of the eren sending dina. but i’m reminded of the discussions around mr robot and standing in the stream of time wrt white rose but eh, time travel plots are always a bit inscrutable and honestly always make things difficult. personally i rationalise it as more of he sent them away from Bert than to his mother. maybe he had the vague understanding of what it’d do but exactly why he did it was different, which idk, makes all the difference to me.

but i do appreciate what the ending was trying to show, even if I personally don't think it was the best, i do appreciate eren’s vulnerability, his last talk with armin broke me, and appreciate that jean is okay, levi is okay, and he got to see everyone else again. i’m also kinda appreciative of the bird symbolism though i don’t think it’s any more than that...also it makes me think that poor eren, he’s burdened with Glorious Purpose & like it’s not gonna stop until he’s dead, right :/ also was under no illusions that it was gonna be a happy ending and everyone would be satisfied somehow or another so eh. I do wish that some things were done differently, I would have done some things differently, but also I acknowledge the constraints of the medium and I think some nuances didn't come across/writing could be tighter. maybe we’ll see when the anime comes out, if some of us stick around that long.

also my monkey brain is choosing to fixate on little, abstract things like oh, armin looks so cute with his hair slicked back...so kudos for that and maybe there’s some hamfisted thing about telling the story...giving it meaning...like horatio? maybe? lol goodnight sweet prince eren...i AM overthinking it probably. anyway if you think about it, it’s the death of the author (ie Barthes) and meaning is created not just when it’s encoded in the text, but when we read and experience it -- which gives us some leeway as to how we interpret the whole series, if you’d really like. so this is my outlook:”)

ok this has turned out longer than i expected and is undercut by actually a lot of salt ahh and i actually have a whole sort of treatise on it! but i think i am a bit emotionally exhausted because i always care too much so i think i'll take a break before I get back to prompts, sorry...

anyway what i mean to say is if you made it this far thank you & that i’m interested to hear what people think! so come send in the ask or reply to this - and feel free to disagree etc but let’s be peaceable about it:)

#into the void #snk 139 #snk 139 spoilers #snk spoilers

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princessamericachavez · 5 years

Text

Fjorester moments episode 65

Can you believe I was already resigned to this being a small post with just cute little highlights for this week and then that last hour happened?!

I’m guilty of doubting Travis and Laura would feed me so well two weeks in a row.

Honestly, it’s been mostly Travis who’s been pushing for it the most lately and I for one LOVE this switch in the dynamic.

Okay, so let’s dive in (heh, get it?):

[As soon as danger shows up]

Jester: I cast bless.

Matt: On who?

Jester (immediately): On Fjord... Caduceus, and Yasha.

The last two she has to think about but Fjord? Fjord is a no-brainer. They are always each other’s first priority, after all.

FJORD AND JESTER BEING A POWER COUPLE AND NEARLY TAKING OUT A MONSTER ALL ON THEIR OWN BEFORE THE FIGHT EVEN STARS

Jester: *down and being attacked by a monster*

Fjord: *casts Charm Monster on the monster attacking her and the one attacking Beau*

Matt: Okay, so the first one’s save fails.

Travis immediately: Which one? The one attacking Jester?

LIKE, I SEE YOU. I SEE YOU TRYING TO BE SNEAKY AND MAKING SURE THAT WHATEVER HAPPENS THE EFFECTIVE ONE GOES TO HER BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT FJORD’S MAIN PRIORITY IS. I SEE YOU.

[After the fight]

BOTH OF THEM CHEERING BEAU UP TOGETHER

Fjord: *asks for a short rest*

Beau and Caleb: reluctantly agree

Jester: But we only got a certain amount of-

Fjord:

Jester: Okay, yeah.

Fjord:

SHE’S SO WEEK FOR HIM GUYSSS AND HE KNOWSSS IT

THIS IS LIKE THAT “NO YOU WON’T, YOU LOVE ME”

HE’S SO FREAKING SMUG ABOUT IT AND I LOVE IT

NO PLAYING DUMB ANYMORE FOR HIM NO SIR

[As they ride]

Yarnball: strays away from the group

Fjord: What is your fucking animal doing?!

Jester: On that! On that! On that!

Jester: *casts command to send Yarnball back to the group*

Fjord: Oh! Slick!

I LOVE THIS TREND OF JESTER DOING SOMETHING BADASS AND FJORD BEING OBVIOUSLY TURNED ON BY IT

Matt: The rain now in heavy sheets, sipping into every piece of armor and clothing you have.

Travis: who knows Fjord is riding with Jester, holding tightly to her in their fast pace

POWER COUPLE AGAIN TO GET RID OF THE SECOND WAVE OF BIRDS ATTACKING THEM

LOOK AT THOSE TWO POWERFUL BABES THEY ARE UNSTOPPABLE

[While bedding down next to the so-far ominous Melora giant tree]

Nott: Should I go scout while we are waiting?

Jester: No!

Nott: It’s a hundred feet! I can just turn invisible and go-

Fjord: She said no! Jeez.

WE LOVE ONE SUPPORTIVE BOYFRIEND WHO WON’T HAVE HIS GIRL DISRESPECTED OR IGNORED BECAUSE HER VOICE AND INPUT MEAN THE WORLD TO HIM AND HE ALWAYS LISTENS TO THEM AND WHY CAN’T YOU ALL SEE HOW GREAT SHE IS, LISTEN TO HER DAMMIT.

idk why that little detail was so heavy for me but I loved it. Nott can be rather pushy and accidentally barrel over anyone’s opinion that isn’t Caleb’s, and Jester is generally nice about it and let’s it go (except that time that the teasing got to her) so Fjord standing up for her firmly made my heart soar a little ngl

[THE TREE BIT]

Fjord: *ready to climb a 300 ft tall tree*

Jester: *obviously worried*

Jester: Climbing is good for strong people, right? Strong people climb well?

Fjord: Or people who, if they fall, have a good safety net.

THIS BIT WAS ALREADY NICE BUT GIVEN WHAT COMES NEXT IT’S SUCH NICE FORESHADOWING?

Like, listen, okay? Fjord is clearly talking about himself falling and saving himself, he probably had the thunderstep in mind already.

But Jester? Jester hears this and immediately sees herself as the safety net. So she stays down, ready to catch whoever might fall.

Later, though, Caduceus suggests she go up and she seems a little put off by it, because she clearly wants to but also wants to be there to protect her friends. Eventually, though, she follows up.

FJORD’S IMPRESSED FACE WHEN JESTER CATCHES UP TO HIM

MATT DESCRIBING THEIR CLIMB “GOING NECK TO NECK, EVEN GETTING A LITTLE COMPETITIVE” IS SUCH A WONDERFUL VISUAL

THIS TWO BEST FRIENDS, ON TOP OF THE WORLD, GOOFING AROUND WITH EACH OTHER, CLIMBING TOGETHER

And then

Of course

that natural one

and Fjord just leaps after her

Travis: I push off and dive down after her!

Matt:

Laura:

Everyone:

LISTEN THOUGH THE IMAGE OF BOTH OF THEM FALLING DOWN AND REACHING OUT FOR EACH OTHER MID-AIR IS OOF

IT’S SO ROMANTIC AND TRAGIC AND DRAMATIC

THIS MAN, THIS SAILOR WHO LESS THAN A YEAR AGO LIVED A FAIRLY ORDINARY LIFE, PLUMMETING DOWN AFTER THE GIRL SHE MET SO LONG AGO WHO HAS BECOME HIS SOURCE OF SUNLIGHT IN LIFE, WITHOUT AN INCH OF FEAR OR HESITATION, LASER FOCUSED ON REACHING HER IN TIME

And then that Feather Fall comes into play and slows them down just enough for them to hold on to each other, floating slowly in the air, breathing heavily.

And I legit thought that was it, that they would slowly float down and recover from the scare.

But nope. No. Fjord goes for his initial plan and thundersteps them back up.

And I kinda love that? Because, no, they are not giving up. They are going together and reaching their goal and they are doing it together because they always go with each other.

Jester: Fjord!

SHE LOOKS SO WORRIED. SO CONCERNED. BECAUSE HE JUST JUMPED AFTER HER AND HE COULD’VE DIED AND WHY DID HE DO THAT? WHAT WAS HE THINKING???

BUT FJORD JUST BRUSHES IT OFF

Fjord: Hang on, will ya?

AS IF HE HADN’T JUST DIVED 100 ft DOWN JUST TO SAVE HER

CASUAL

WHATEVER

JUST NORMAL FRIEND STUFF

Jester: You-

JESTER JUST KINDA STUMBLES OVER HER BREATH AND LIKE I DON’T BLAME HER OK?

I actually love that Jester was getting used to the idea that romance and love are not like in her novels, and maybe it’s fine and she will never find that dramatic over the top romance she dreamed off her whole life

—AND FJORD SWEEPS IN WITH EXACTLY THE BRAND OF ROMANTIC DUMBASS GESTURES THAT A GRAND HERO WOULD PULL

And Jester is tired and scared and feels like she can’t go on

Jester:

Jester: I’m just gonna stay here, Fjord! You keep going. It’s okay!

BUT FJORD IS NOT ABOUT TO LEAVE JESTER BEHIND

Fjord: You know, if you get up to me, I can help us get a little boost!

Jester: I can’t move! It’s okay, you just keep going!!

POOR BBY. BUT FJORD IS STILL NOT ABOUT TO LEAVE HER, SO THE NEXT TIME THEY ROLL HE WAITS FOR HER TO CATCH UP.

Fjord: You want a boost?

Jester:

Fjord: Okay, grab my hand.

Jester:

THUNDERSTEP

SO MUCH HAND HOLDING GUYS

AS SOON AS FJORD BROKE THE TOUCH BARRIER WITH THE KISS LAST EPISODE HE’S JUST GOING ALL IN FOR IT AND WE ARE GETTING SO MUCH AND IT’S JUST SO LOVELY

ALSO ALSO ISN’T IT SUCH A LOVELY PARALLEL THAT AT THE BEGINNING THEY WERE BEING PLAYFULLY COMPETITIVE BUT AS SOON AS JESTER IS HAVING TROUBLE FJORD’S FOCUS SWITCHES ENTIRELY AND HE SPENDS THE REST OF THE TIME ENCOURAGING HER AND HELPING HER?????

Thanks Matt for the last bit of description too! Fjord with his 11 STR throwing Jester up to safety is such a good detail!

That NAT 20 was True Love and you can’t convince me otherwise.

I ALSO LOVE HOW THE TABLES TURN LATER WHEN FJORD FREEZES WHEN STEALTHTING AROUND THE ROC

Fjord: you go ahead without me!

Jester: No, Fjord, you’re coming!

Fjord: I’ll just stay here

Jester: C’mon, Fjord, let’s go!

Fjord: Alright.

THEY REFUSE TO LEAVE EACH OTHER BEHIND YOU GUYS IM SO EMOTIONAL

ALSO

GUYS

MATT DESCRIBING THE WARM SENSATION FJORD GOT FROM SAVING JESTER VS HIS USUAL UK’OTOA SPELLS?

THE FACT THAT HE USED HIS VERY FIRST SPELLS POWERED BY A LOVING DEITY RATHER THAN UK’OTOA TO SAVE HER

IS JUST SO

POETIC CINEMA

I’M CRYING

Jester: *tries to pain Beau and Fjord*

THIS TWO DISASTERS IMMEDIATELY:

Jester: No, it’s candid, you guys! Pretend you don’t know I’m drawing you.

Fjord:

Jester: Yeah, that’s better. That’s good.

EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS EPISODE WAS WONDEREFUL. MY HEART FEELS SO FULL WITH LOVE. I CAN’T WAIT FOR THE FANART AND THE EVENTUAL TALK THESE TWO DESPERATELY NEED TO HAVE ALREADY.

I’m looking forward to so much next week! Fjord is out of spell slots (after saving and helping Jester) so I expect she’ll prioritize keeping him safe during the fight. So much angst potential! ALSO really looking forward to Jester thanking him for saving her, fingers cross for a cheek kiss to mirror his earlier one. Also, please Traveler, they need to TALK about all these things that they keep doing for each other.

#fjorester #fjord #jester lavorre #critical role #cr spoilers #sofia's nonsense

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leafy-m · 4 years

Text

Empire of Gold theories

Ok so at first I was dying at the several months wait for The Empire of Gold novel, but then I realized I have the opportunity to have fun making theories (and drawing fanart) while I wait instead.

So here are my theories for The Empire of Gold, which hopefully will be under a cut. Be warned of Brass/Copper spoilers.

[[MORE]]

1: The Ayaanle man with control over the marid that helped Zaydi al Qahtani take control of Daevabad (as mentioned in City of Brass), is Ali's ancestor. I love this theory because Ali has always been seen as a callback to Zaydi and tried to be a good Geziri, at the expense of his Ayaanle roots. But if his unusual marid/water powers are in part because of this ancestor, it's a good way to reconnect with his Ayaanle heritage. Also I just love the idea that this partnership from 1400 years ago has reunited in Ali, and that he's taking on a genocidal Nahid that threatens Daevabad while partnered with Nahri, a Nahid shafit. I just. ��💖💖

2. On Twitter some months back, Chakraborty mentioned that there is a Very Violent chapter aimed at a beloved character. My theory is that it's Manizheh taking Suleiman's ring back from Ali. But the catch is that she keeps him alive while she takes it, as punishment to Nahri for giving it to him in the first place. I don't know how that would work, I'm not even sure if I still buy this theory, but I wanted to include it anyway. Also, stop hurting Ali.

3. During the same tweet, Chakraborty also mentioned there being two "adult" scenes. I am hoping against hope that it's Muntadhir/Jamshid and Nahri/Ali. There's already a tweet preview that sounds like Nahri remembering a kiss from earlier (for which I am SCREAMING), and I know romance is not the point of this series, but. I am full-on Team Ali, ok? Let 👏my 👏boy 👏be 👏happy. He has been struggling with assassinations and loneliness for over a thousand pages now, with hundreds more to go in Empire. Let him!! Also, in my unending rereading of this series, Ali and Nahri have SO. MANY. Parallels in what they say and how they act/think, I literally had to start making a list. They are so good for each other, okay?

As for Muntadhir and Jamshid? Come on. Have you read the City of Brass Prologue? They need to reunite. And then fight together on horseback because they are just glorious like that. Also they have a lot issues to work out regarding Manizheh and Jamshid poisoning Ali, but they'll get through it because Muntadhir's got that 'I survived death' glow. Come on.

4. Zaynab. I want to see her fight and hold her own, whether that's with weapons or with political charm/wits. Also, she really needs to find out about Ali's connection with the marid 'cause she's the only family member that doesn't know??? Also, hey, if Ali is the culmination of Zaydi and that marid-controlling Ayaanle, what about Zaynab?

5. A funeral pyre for Lubayd. I love Lubayd, ok? He was one of my favorite characters in Copper and he needs a proper memorial. Also I need to know how old he and Aqisa are.

6. I fully believe that Rustam is Nahri's father, and that her true mother is human or shafit. That she grew up in that destroyed village by the Nile, and that Rustam used marid magic to hide her from Manizheh. That Manizheh betrayed Rustam and killed him in Daevastana and then faked her own death.

Rustam is rarely mentioned in the books, but he has such a peaceful presence in Nahri's Daevabad life. She lives in the palace room with walls that he painted; takes refuge in the orange tree garden that he planted; and something else that I forget. He's not there, but he's there, ya'know? He has been a better presence in Nahri's life than Manizheh ever was.

7. The Shedu. My theory is that they left Daevabad when the Nahid Council started turning corrupt, before Zaydi's rebellion. Like, they hated what the Nahids were doing. But when they meet Nahri and Ali, they'll decide to help them take back Daevabad. Also: there had better be a "The eagles are coming!!" kind of moment. Ok? I'm drawing it regardless.

8. When Ali makes his way to Ta Ntry, he's gonna take a detour to the Bet il Tiamat and meet Tiamat the marid mother herself. As a giant crocodile? I really can't wait for this. Also I feel like that crocodile armor that was posted on Twitter will either be the Ayaanle armor that their warriors wear when they join Ali to invade Daevabad, or is a gift from Tiamat that grants special powers.

9. I need a scene of Nahri and Muntadhir getting a divorce, and giving the reason as "they'd rather be with my sibling." Also I realize that if Rustam is Nahri's dad that would make Jamshid her cousin not her brother, but he definitely feels more like a brother, you know?

Ok, that's all for now.

#The Daevabad trilogy #The empire of gold #The Kingdom of Copper #The city of brass #I've been trying to draw fanart but I keep losing hours looking up details in the books and then working on the wiki instead #What I hate the most about drawing from books is the complete lack of accurate details #Like: Ali has a relic bolted to his right ear. WHERE on his ear??? Near the top? At the bottom? It is round or square or a hoop?#Don't even get me started on the fucking clothes #Because I will just start sobbing

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