#To be fair he was quite good

[tittyinfinity]

I just remembered that up until 5th grade, all of the sports teams I was in weren't separated by gender. I played basketball and baseball with boys. And we did just fine.

It wasn't until 6th grade when they segregated it by gender. It didn't make sense to me. I was now in softball because of baseball, because "softball is for girls" and "baseball is for boys" (which confused me bc my dad was on an adult softball team).

Now, my brother's all-male team didn't win a single game. My all-girls team won every single one.

They presented the boys' team with this HUGE trophy, and if you wanted replicas of it, they were $30 each.

My team was presented with a very small trophy. Extras were $5.

That's when I decided gender-segregated sports were bullshit.

#my mom went off on my brother's coach for that #said that it wasn't fair that my brother's team got to celebrate more than us despite actually winning #(it was through the same sports program) #she said she wasn't gonna pay $30 for a trophy whenever he was a horrible coach #bc the boys he had when they were on my team with my coach did just fine #their coach was this horrible egotistical guy who would scream at tbem for not doing good enough #when he didnt even KNOW HOW TO PLAY and was just there bc his kid was praying #my coach was this cool ass dad that was very calm and gentle with us #the coach was like ''oh so you don't think your son deserves to celebrate?'' #my mom was like ''he should but he needs to learn that he can't be rewarded for losing while #my daughter is barely rewarded for winning and i don't want to teach him that gender inequality is okay'' #(my mom is cool af sometimes) #we both quit playing after that

[boyfridged]

see, the thing is that (up until countdown at least) there’s no symmetry in jay and bruce's respective ways of grieving.

jay is perpetually trapped in the bargaining stage of grief, trying to reach out to bruce from beyond death.

bruce is way past this. he has settled into a quiet, passive type of mourning, devoid of hope for a reunion. and to stay in this state, he had to necessarily disregard jay’s true image – an image of an earnest, bright child, his son. the memory of jay has been reconstructed in his mind a thousand times and sealed in a folder labeled as “soldier” (or even just a personal failure). it's ugly. it's unfair. it's a coping mechanism.

so to me, the issue isn't that bruce wants his dead, sweet little boy back – the issue is that he barely remembers him. if he did, maybe he would be willing to take a leap of faith and search for that person in jason who came back. but he's not even trying to reconcile the image of 15yo jay with red hood – or rather, maybe the image of a volatile kid that he created in his grief fits with the red hood a bit too accurately. maybe it's a bit too convenient. it works perfectly well for his own self-preservation and sanity, to think that jason has been doomed from the beginning.

jason, on the other hand, is cursed with remembering. one of the very sparse concepts that i found interesting in rhato was when in #3 (2011) jason chose to give up on his happiest memory – skipping patrol to watch a movie with bruce. maybe it's because recalling these tender, sweet moments is what gives him hope, and motivates him to keep bargaining and trying to reconcile with bruce. and bargaining with reality is exhausting. the readers and jay know that it's a lost cause – both because neither bruce nor jay are the same people anymore, but also because, ironically, batman, the symbol of hope, doesn't have any left when it comes to getting his son back. bruce, in his grief, essentially closed the door. jay, in his grief, is banging on them.

#hm. you know i personally think that jay is shit at compartmentalisation. he's trying like his life depends on it!! and he's failing #bruce on the other hand is way too good at it. #to me the tragedy is. jason is still jason when he comes back. but the world is not the same and it's closing him off #who he becomes is a consequence of it.. #god i'm afraid this post came off to much like bruce bashing but #closing the door on relationships is to be expected when someone is dead! #it makes sense. #disclaimer: you can just treat tarnishing jason's memory as bad writing btw and ignore it completely #i think it's fair game because it is also a result of dc writers hating jason. #personally – i think it's quite interesting to incorporate it into my reading #for the angst! #jay.zip #jay.txt #dc #phantom pains #cemeteries are for the living

[mitamicah]

Time to be self centered for a moment:

Me and the guys 🥹🫶

I still can't believe that I was able to meet Bojan, Nace and Jan last weekend (how is it already a week since Malmö OVO) :'D

They were so freaking humble and easy to talk to?!? 🥺🥺🥺

Bojan and I 'are you'ed each other for at least half a minute xD The love is really stored in the Bojan - the way he just gives you his entire attention when you talk to him OVO Plus he remembered my Häärijä cosplay from Helsinki, let me die happy now 😭🥺

Nace is such a lovely turtle dad proudly talking about his babies (I can relate to how much he talks with his hands) and his laugh is even more contagious in person 🥹 Loved that we in Gothenburg ended up wondering over the question 'what is each JO members signature picture pose' together; Nace and I showing off the Jan pose for the last picture x'D

Speaking of Jan, the poor boy had lost his beanie in Gothenburg (not pictured) so he had a scarf on his head :'3 he too was very nice talking to and me and another dane managed to spread the 'please come to Denmark' propaganda 😂

Jan and Nace both got little 2 min. pen doodles from me that I drew with frozen fingers and in a rush (didn't know how long they'd stay) and bless their heart for being genuinely happy to receive them :'D Nace did also get a second Malmö sticker just so I could see his reaction x'D (I'd sent Bojan off with gifts to all the boys during soundcheck and Nace confirmed he had gotten his and it was on his laptop I believe :'3 <33)

(Since I ran to Bojan I was too late to meet Kris in Malmö, and Jure stayed by the bus smoking which I respect)

#how am I alive :'D #impressed with myself not mentioning the are you tattoo saga once in this post btw x'D #also now I have a pretty good estimate how tall bojan is :3 #since I am only slightly taller x'D #nace was such a dad when he both days tried to calm my anxious butt telling me he wouldn't have come out talking to us if he was uncomfy #I really hope he did not just say that to calm me but actually meant it :'D #he was not only dad however he also was very goofy and silly and I love that about him x'D #I think after meeting them I vibe most with Bojan and Nace #but that is probably not fair of me to say since I only saw Kris and Jure at a distance :'D #and I am biased towards bojan because bojere and because the bojan kept feeding me tiny little nuggets of love through the gigs and after #there's something quite satisfying to me that I am wearing a white version of the JO hat where everybody else is in black beanie or no hat #also that I wore kä when together with bojci #and light grey to nace's black #but yeah especially kä with bojan since I'd gladly be substitute jere for a minute x'D #me #micahs thoughts #micahs foolery #jo see you soon tour 2024 #sys tour 2024 #joker out spring tour 2024 #malmö gig #gothenburg gig #göteborg gig #my gig

[skrunksthatwunk]

aurghhh ok still rewatching '97 and the way guts and casca only have the room to breathe and really come to understand and care for each other in griffith's absence because he has such a strong hold over them both.... and the way their mutual dedication to him is what causes them to bicker for years (casca thinks he's not serving him well enough, guts thinks she doesn't get that he cares/how much he cares, casca's jealousy over griffith's feelings for guts, how he won his heart without even trying or being aware of it or doing anything with it) and is also a big part of what brings them together (earlier when guts deviates from the plan to save griffith and she commends him, in the cave casca opening up about griffith and her's past, showing that vulnerability, while it's mostly confrontational, leads to guts kinda getting her better, and his efforts to save and protect her (falling off the cliff with her, taking on the 100 men so she can escape, encouraging her to return to griffith so she can help him because it's what she feels she's meant to do (her dream, the direction in life guts shares and yet is questioning because of griffith's speech at the fountain, whether or not it's enough to serve him if it means he'll never be a true friend in griffith's eyes because he's not an equal), supporting the idea of her being with griffith/being his most important person like he won't because he doesn't view it as a competition like she has been since day one) leading to her realizing that he's kind of not that bad a guy and they have a lot more in common that she thought. and how the bonfire of dreams conversation is guts opening up to her in kind, the answer to her talking about how griffith saved her, how she feels. how neither of them ever call it love but it's something they know they both have for griffith. how it's something they're beginning to have for each other, different in ways they couldn't put a word to. because they're equals this time. the way griffith kind of becomes less and less important as they find other reasons to live and fight, as they become less singularly obsessed with him. how griffith is unable to stand it, guts' personhood, that agency and peer-to-peer equality he claimed to want (and perhaps truly did) that disappeared guts from his life, his plans, his side. how it barely even matters to griffith how casca changes because he never wanted her like she wanted him. god i can't fucking stand their shakespearean nonsense drama (<- hopelessly in love with their interpersonal dynamics)

#god they're the only healthy part of this unholy mind-palace love triangle/throuple aren't they #they could have been the worst qpr/throuple in your social circle. like just insufferable when they're not getting along #if griffith hadn't [oh god oh fuck oh jesus christ] all over everything even remotely good in his life anyway #poor casca's in love with a gay man and then falls for his not-quite-boyfriend and when not-quite-boyfriend reciprocates said gay man fucki #g. Does The Eclipse Stuff. at least partially to get back at you two. oh my godd #i'm sorry i'm so not normal about them. it's starting to leak out into the blog bc i'm finally having a Berserk Moment since starting tumbl #but whewwwww. gotta get this outta my system #hope this wall of text makes sense oops <3 #berserk #berserk 1997 #how do i even tag their thang. their disastrous just horrible agonizing 3 guy dynamic. hm. #gutsca #griffguts #don't even know if anyone tags for griffith and casca. fair because 1) he raped her. yikes 2) he just straight up isn't into her #and i don't know if there's a tag for the three of them but trial and error led to nothing #but i wanna talk about their dynamic. their. (gestures wildly) whatever. it's not about thinking griffith should kiss anyone it's about lik #the agony. the pining and the torment and whatever miura so beautifully crafted for me specifically. sheesh #hope it's clear that i Don't Want Them To Be An Uwu Little Polycule Bc Casca Should Not Be In A Cutesy Throuple With Her Rapist #it's more that i think they kind of are or almost are part of this (gestures wildly again). Thing. with each other and i wanna talk about i #same with griffguts like oh man they should NOT be in a relationship. but i have this deep intense Need to study them and frankly they're #kind of crazy about each other for a while. like they care about each other so so much it's crucial to all three of their characters. #so it's kind of unavoidable. and i wanna talk about it. and have this read by people who also want to talk about it. yeah? yeah. #(and yeah i think griffith raping casca was about her and guts. like 'fuck you for making him okay with leaving me' type of vibe. even #though it wasn't her fault he's just. god. but it sure as hell isn't Mostly about casca because griffith's making eye contact like the Whol #time with guts. he makes him watch. it's just. shooooooooooo aughhhhghhghh fucking. jesus christ. that or it's the fear that his two most #important pawns are going to leave him Together and he just. can't deal with that. especially after the torture internment thing. #he's so weak and he was so close to his dream and now it's falling apart and they're leaving him and he can't even move. it's about making #damn sure they can't escape him or forget him ever again. #or maybe it's even a 'you can't have her she's mine' to guts but it's still largely like. spiteful/about possessing her as a soldier/human #because i don't think you could convince me it's about having her as a lover or about controlling/hurting/possessing her body.)

[clonehub]

Intervention for Rex where a bunch of other clones who deserted surround him and keep asking him questions like "a lifetime of war doesn't sound awful to you? Who was it that told you that all you're good for is fighting wars for people whod spit on you and deny you your rights given half a chance? Why are you proud of only being made to die? Where is anyone arguing for your safety, fighting for your right to freedom from tyranny? What are you running from? What future exactly are you running toward? Is continuing to fight noble or tragic?"

#ch posts #captain rex #taking rex and throttling him #some of these questions arent quite fair but tbh #i dont think every deserter would have #the patience or grace to respond to rex #from where hes coming from #because to some it might appear insensitive on his part #from rex pov i think hes still scared of like #not knowing his Purpose if he doesnt fight you know #and he genuinely wants to help ppl hes simply a good guy #its complex!!

[wp100]

wonder where khadgar's been :p

#too scared to post this on twitter for some reason #because the wow gamer dudes will probably find it and think im weird lmfao #khadgar #warcraft #this man does incomprehensible stuff to my brain #he really needs a wardrobe change tho #just dont change his face. he looks so damn fine lol #i made this because i miss him so goddamn much its unreal #he really did just. Abandon Azeroth for two expansions #he saw cosmic conflict and was like “nope. not today. been there done that” lol #to be fair wrathion and anduin kinda took the reins #and sylvanas #maybe its a good thing we dont see much of khadgar #they might just screw him up. in the worst way possible. in terms of writing #anyway ill quit rambling this is a gush post #video #ALSO I KNOW he was in the amirdrassil campaign in the end #was nice to hear him speak and see him interacting with jaina (iirc) #i hope we see him in the world soul saga at some point #probably will... maybe midnight or the last titan #i have a hunch we might see illidan too but who knows

[riacte]

I am a person who loves the beginning of HC seasons because of the intermingling and I’ve experienced like, 4 seasons ending now? And HC9 ending still affected me more than any other season ending. Like logically I knew it was going to end and logically I knew now would be the best time and logically I knew they would have to announce it sometime, but it still blew me out of the water for some reason 🤡 I thought we were going to get more Decked Out but I guess it wasn’t enough to expand it past the holiday season.

Or maybe it’s how Ren shouldn’t make announcements on behalf of the server again in the most dramatic way because he scared his chat to death before he announced “Season Ten was coming to an end” and we were like ????!?!?!? until Impulse stepped up and gave us an actual rundown.

#i get it the newbies may be annoying about it but im not a newbie and i got whiplash lol #yeah for some reason ren’s chat thought he was gonna announce he was quitting. logically we all know it wasn’t happening- #but the context clues fucked a lot of us up massively #people on dash being like ‘not bitches being sad about hc9 ending we all saw it coming’ it’s me. im bitches #to be fair. everyone was doomsaying hc9 was ending for a good while and i guess i ricocheted in the other way out of spite #‘somebody tell the newbies this is normal’ this is my fourth time doing this and the first time i actually felt. yknow. #ANYWAYS thank you hcvh for not ending 🙏🙏🙏🙏 #moving houses to the vodskall channel #ria.txt #personal

[mejomonster]

On a serious note, I do feel mysterious case lotusbook has a lot of sincere themes about getting older, realities of responsibility and dreams realized, how it's difficult to succeed and not always the direct path one expects, how there's value in little aspects of life. Almost every li lianhua scene seems to be about that to some degree. The murder cases aren't particularly deep as far as super complicated to figure out or Able to be predicted super well (since they don't always give all the details in the initial setup), but the themes about who was killed and why do connect to li lianhuas situation.

#mysterious lotus casebook #lb #by all this i mean: a lot of the positive things li lianhua AND di feisheng say are fairly good advice tbh #like a fei? hes like you need to be fair in your decisions for your actions to be worthwhile and earned #li lianhua: sometimes being the one taking all responsibility was bad for you and the people you led who felt burdened #by You taking the burden. and stepping back can be a respectable choice. #cooking is more difficult than fighting. keeping yourself alive is Hard and its the hardest thing we do #and its admirable even when youll never be a hero never be able to achieve what those around you might #your peers are worthwhile if they choose diffetently than you (qian wanmian isnt lesser for not choosing to lead a sect and instrad #dissolving it. di feisheng doesnt think li lianhua is no longef worth his time even though hes weaker now. li lianhua is still someonr he #wants to see alive see brlieve in himself see passionate about things. the monks think its never too late to #reconnect to people again. that people who love you will want you and accept you even when you fail. #even fang duobing by knowing li lianhua gets the experience of someone who wants him alive #and fondly smiles and Is proud of him. evrn if hes learning and fails and moody #fond of him in a way his family wasnt that strangers lied about due to his status #in a way that he clung to li xianyi for ALSO seeing value in him when he felt he didnt live up to expectstions of the world #its the Kindness of little moments of acceptance. of being kind to yourself and kind to others (even down to #not wantjng to kill suspects but take them to trial. not wanting scapegoats blamed. which arent usually done in wuxia) #its the fact this show is quite about gentleness and healing (i see the Love and Redemption screen writing ismilarities) #rather than about power struggles. do you know what i mean?

[seriousbrat]

Falls the Shadow, chapter 9 Read on Ao3

THE DARKEST DAYS, a multi-part, canon-compliant series spanning from 1975-1981, covering the events of the First Wizarding War. Follows Lily, Sev, and the Marauders through their final years at Hogwarts to the end of the war, as friendships are put to the test and the Wizarding World crumbles around them... READ FROM THE BEGINNING

CHAPTER 9: Best Served Cold --------------------------------------------

Lily pulls away, looking at him worriedly. “Don’t do anything.”

“I won’t if he doesn’t,” James says shortly. “But if you ask me it’s time you stopped defending him. What’ll happen if we’re out there fighting for the Order and he—” But he falters as a fresh wave of tears overcome Lily. “Oh, bloody hell, Lily, I’m sorry— I didn’t mean to—”

“It’s not your fault,” Lily says miserably. “I’m so stupid. You’re right, I— I just wish I could let go of it… I wish I could just stop feeling sorry for him…”

James heaves a sigh. “Look, there’s no… shame in being a good person, Lily. If things were different… but they’re not, are they? This is what the world’s like, isn’t it, it’s cruel and awful and sometimes being too… too kind’s got no place in it. Not right now, anyway.”

Lily nods, closing her eyes. “You’re right. I’ll… get past it, eventually. Sorry I’m so mopey lately, I don’t know what’s got into me.” She shakes her head, eyes still closed. “Don’t worry about me.”

“You might as well ask me to drop dead,” James says cheerfully. “Come on, you— I know something that’ll cheer you up.”

Lily grins at him, despite herself. “Really? That’s what you’re thinking of right now?”

“What?” he says innocently. “I was only going to suggest a mug of hot chocolate in the kitchens. Not my fault you’ve got such a dirty mind, Evans.”

#jily fic #jily #marauders era #marauders fic #mine #the darkest days #not me cropping serge gainsbourgs ugly mug from every pic so i can recolour jane birkins hair in peace #TO BE FAIR he actually looks quite good in this pic. like i see the appeal #lily evans #james potter #james x lily

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#man ive never seen an eating disorder kill someone else besides a parent infecting a child but my nana is really trying #shes like 1000% orthotexic. will not eat anything not filled with vegetables or fat. and my grandpa is 87yo with a heart condition currentl #in the hospital for covid bc thry went to Christmas church and dont believe in being vaccinated and my dad is so frustrated #bc he knows his mom is not gonna give his dad hearty foods. he needs to eat like protein shakes and meat and ice cream. anything thats not #her cooking which sucks on top of being extremely healthy. except its not healthy bc they dont eat a balanced diet #so its my nanas eating disorder killing her husband and shes so fucking frustrating. im like 99% sure she has obsessive compulsive #personally disorder bc she fits to a T and has zero insight. she may have full on 0cd bc talking to my dad he has more obvious 0cd #compulsions than i do. he used to say phrases before going to bed and would take 2 steps across the floor to prevent bad things from #happening. so like im pretty sure my nana is where i get my perfectionism and 0cd. god. i wish i could express how fucked up she is #like my dad said at least he had a stable home to grow up in but like she has zero sympathy for other people. cannot look past herself. wil #not wear a mask bc she doesnt care enough abt other ppl. my dad was like: u would not have survived in that house. which is fair bc i am #barely keeping it together coming from a stable home with two sympathetic parents who i know love me #and like its sad that they're suffering the effects of buying into the fox news bullshit and its killing them #but also. genuinely. i think theyre not very good ppl. theyre the type of people who think they're better bc they're religious. white. and #thin. and theyre not better thsn anyone. their grandchildren cant stand them. well cant stand her at least. papa is just quite so its hard #to say what hes thinking. apparently he was confused last night and saying something about eating dinner on the golf course. which sounds #nicer thsn being in the hospital lol. ugh. he seems not long for this world tbh. may he pass peacefully to b with his 1st wife who died of #brain cancer at age like 20 or something. so it goes. bleh. how many funerals are intended for me in the next 5 years? hopefully none but #that seems improbable with the unspoken drain circling that seems to b going on in this family. old age and like almost 10 years of cancer #defying the stats but for how much longer? #i dunno. its just so weird to watch these things happen and not talk about it directly to the other ppl who see it #i worry that ill come off as too callose or inappropriate bc i have that tendency when something bad is happening but thats everyone else #excuse? idk i just feel like its better to talk abt things #unrelated #ed mention #i tell u this so i can say these things to someone and also bc if i were u. i would like to hear the drama #bc im nosey and i assume other r too ;-]

[jeysuso]

#jey uso #jeyusoedit #wweedit #monday night raw #wwe raw #he's so fucking fine bro it's not fair #and the crop top. the crop TOP. #when will he Quit #i have missed his ass so much i'm so glad he's back #he just looked so good. and then he hurt us ALL. #even kevin patrick kept staring at him like bro i get it #the view those commentators had. immaculate #unmatched #i am Jealous #hunter hearst hire me #mygifs*

[the-judicial-assistants-notebook]

*KICKS THE DOOR DOWN* WWWAIT FREYA I HAVE MIXED FEELINGS ON FANDOMS VIEW OF THIS SHIP I NEED TO KNOW UR OPINION. HOMUMIKU???

WKSHJSHJDBJHAHAHAH HIIIII, GRACE!!!! ❤️💕💞💝💗💖💘💓💕💞💖💞💘

Homumiko (HUGE spoilers for DGS after the bingo sheet):

I have been waiting to get into this ship properly, because I have THOUGHTS and I need to be forced to get them out coherently.

Let's get into the basic ship itself. Honestly? No comment. I think hmmk cheats a bit by relying on the literal decades people have spent shipping Holmes and Watson together, and I doubt that they would be half as popular without this history; but, as someone who has never had strong feelings about HolmesWatson either way, I don't have that bias! Even if we're just going off of DGS and looking at how they complement and trust each other, and are obviously more comfortable around one another than most other people, I don't really have a strong opinion on them. I do think they're close, but whether that bond is platonic, romantic, sexual or some mix of the two is just not something I particularly care about. You know who I do care about, though?

Susato-san.

OKAY, SIT DOWN, EVERYONE BECAUSE THE SHIP BINGO PART OF THIS IS OVER, AND NOW WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT THE PARTS OF HMMK I DO CARE ABOUT AND WHY THAT ACTUALLY HAS VERY LITTLE TO DO WITH THEM AND EVERYTHING TO DO WITH HER.

Let's get this out of the way first. Based on my very modern sensibilities, I take a rather harsh stance on Mikotoba's parenting.

Do I think he loves his daughter? Sure. But which parts of his daughter? Because it's very easy to love a child who is always obedient, elegant and the literal embodiment of idealised Japanese womanhood without knowing or truly even looking at her. I think Susato made it easy for him to love her, because she believed she had to earn it. Her father left when she was born, consumed by grief over her mother's death -- her mother, whom she killed. I know the game tries to justify this by saying it was Jigoku who dragged him away (and I do think him leaving was good for him, because I doubt he would have been a good father even if he'd stayed due to his grief), but the point is that he still left. For six years. And when he returned, he didn't even return because of her (whether she knew that from the moment she met him or not is debatable, but I think, at least on a subconscious level, she knew. And, of course, it's also debatable whether he could have returned sooner because of his commitment as a transfer student, but the Mikotobas are a powerful family, and, if Soseki could return before his period of learning was fully up, I think he would have been able to pull strings to return home if he wanted to).

This falls under speculation, so I understand not agreeing with it, but I don't think Mikotoba ever properly spoke to Susato when she was a child, especially not about what he did in England. I believe that a part of the reason why Susato started reading the Sherlock Holmes stories to begin with was because they featured a doctor in London, like her father had been, and she wanted to feel closer to him through those stories. And it probably worked! Her father probably did start engaging with her more after after she picked them up, because it was an easy way to connect with her. That's why I believe she was so insistent on the existence of John H. Watson, as a doctor, when she met Iris and learnt the truth.

There's this distance between Susato and her father which glimpse in moments in the game, like how he remarks on her lack of composure in court (suggesting that he isn't used to seeing her yamato nadeshiko mask slip), how he less requests her trust and more orders or expects it forthright, and how he seems reluctant to face the parts of her that inconvenience him (like how he asks her to play the koto when he isn't home and how, when faced by her real anger, he looks to Holmes to explain the situation rather than actually attempt to himself).

HOWEVER, in the setting of the game (Meiji-era Japan), I will concede that Mikotoba is a fantastic father. He may not have been very present in her life growing up, but men largely weren't expected to be. Their jobs were to provide for their children, not nurture them. And Mikotoba went well beyond his duty in that regard. Add to that the fact that he had her properly educated, ensured she knew how to defend herself, and allowed her to pursue her studies overseas at a level that was on par with any man, and you can see that he's really quite a great father; which is why I don't think he sees his absence as a flaw or even notices he was absent. Susato, though, does.

Now, Susato is obviously a product of her time, too, so I believe she'd be insulted if anyone was to suggest that her father or childhood was lacking in some way. That being said, I do believe she is aware of the distance between them in a way he is not. I think her affection for him is founded on a sense of duty and filial piety rather than pure love (although, obviously, she does love him), and, as she grew older, she stopped vying for his affection; hence why she's obsessed with the Great Detective more so than anyone else when we meet her. I also think that this distance contributed to her becoming so attached to Kazuma, in spite of the fact that he kept her at arm's length, too; he may not have allowed her very close, but he was always there, and he saw her for who she truly was. When she leaves at the end of the first game, Susato is not so much anxious that her father is ill as she is shaken -- she seems more upset that she's leaving her Baker Street family rather than that her actual father might be dying, and I think that's because she knows how to live without him. This distance between them, I believe, becomes all the more apparent to her when she goes to London and sees the deep bond held between Iris and Holmes.

And, speaking of, you know who else I think is aware of the distance between them and the part he played in creating that distance? The Great Detective himself, Mr. Sherlock Holmes.

See, I think Holmes has always known about Susato. I'm quite sure that, from the moment they met, he knew that Mikotoba was running away from something and that he had left an infant daughter back home. He just didn't care.

We don't know what Holmes was like when he was younger, but I believe he was a lot closer to how he appears in a lot of modern adaptations and how Watson describes him in some of the Sherlock Holmes stories: the 'cold, calculating computer' character. I don't think it's a stretch to think that Holmes viewed marriage and children as mere distractions and interferences to the mind; and Mikotoba was, presumably, his first real friend. He wasn't going to let something pesky like a baby back home detract from his friend's obviously sterling character and brain! After all, it's a lot easier to ignore this nebulous, abstract entity when you simply consider its existence, and thus its abandonment, unimportant. It's a lot easier when you don't know what it's like to be a father yourself. It's a lot easier when you don't know her.

Here's the thing: I believe Holmes's image of and relation to Mikotoba began changing from the time he started raising Iris. Suddenly, that inconsequential baby seemed to bear quite a bit of consequence, actually. But it was still all right to keep dismissing her, because maybe Mikotoba's baby wasn't special the way Iris was. Maybe she was a brat or an idiot, and really not worth much time at all! Maybe she could've lived without him and been perfectly fine, regardless...? As time went on, I believe the excuses he made for Mikotoba's decision all those years ago became increasingly flimsy, but he was still able to hold onto them because The Daughter was still an indistinct figure in his mind. She wasn't quite real.

That is, until he met her.

In the game, Holmes tends to keep a certain width between himself and Susato. He very rarely initiates conversation with her the way he does Ryuunosuke, and from a Doylist (ha) perspective, this is obviously because Ryuunosuke is... the main character. Looking at it from a narrative perspective, though, I think he was afraid of hurting more than he already has and must.

Holmes is a very resolute man. He sticks by his decisions regardless of what anyone else thinks, so I don't think he ever regretted what he did. However, I do think he felt guilty. Certainly, he didn't quite take her father away from her, but he did play a role in keeping him from her for so long. I think there was a part of him that consciously guided Mikotoba away from thinking about Japan while they lived together, because, well... he didn't want him to leave.

There's an interesting layer to the separation that Holmes creates with Susato, because, beyond the distance he maintains between her and himself, he also keeps her identity separate from her father's. Contrary to how he refers to Ryuunosuke by his last name, Holmes only ever calls Susato "Miss Susato" or "my dear (madame)", and never "Miss Mikotoba". I view this is his way of, perhaps subconsciously, dividing from that little girl he once decided did not matter. And it's interesting because, to an extent, he tries to do with her and Kazuma, too.

In the SS Burya case, despite meeting Susato first and seeing how affected she is by Kazuma's "death", Holmes largely ignores her in favour of focusing on Ryuunosuke and his bond with Kazuma. He calls Kazuma Ryuunosuke's "dear companion" and pretty much only interacts with Susato when he has little other choice... until he sees her cry.

See, I believe that when Holmes found out Susato was going to England and was about to be wrapped up in the whole messy affair, he was fully committed to Not Giving a Damn about Her. Sure, he would let her and Kazuma live with him, but by no means was he going to allow himself to grow attached to her because, again, he values his relationship and history with Mikotoba too much for it to get complicated in this way. Susato's relative composure throughout the case helps him hold on to this resolution; however, when he catches that final conversation between her and Ryuunosuke in the cabin, he is finally forced to see and acknowledge the amount of pain she is truly in. It forces him to at last face the fact that he can't avoid or fake aloofness around her any longer, because she is not some nebulous, distant entity he can continue to ignore. She is an actual girl with a fiercely strong spirit, a brilliant mind and real, human emotions. A girl whom he's hurt twice-over now and must continue hurting until all his lies finally come to light.

When he makes that decision to enter the cabin and console her the only way he knows how, he throws away any hope he had of feeling anything but apathy towards her. In truth, he probably didn't have much hope of that to begin with, because at his core, Sherlock Holmes is a good man, and he cares.

He cares for her, too, even though he may have no right to. How could he not, when she loves him so openly, trusts him so readily, saves his life? How could he not, when she comes to him in the middle of the night with a secret she can't tell anyone else because his judgement is the only one she wholly trusts and believes in? How could he not, when she refuses to accept he lied despite the living, breathing evidence he did until he admits it himself? How could he not, when after everything he has done, she still looks at him the way she always has and says that she's proud that her father is the assistant of "the Great Detective"?

How could anyone not? How could Mikotoba not... love her the second he laid eyes on her?

And of course this doesn't shatter his love for Mikotoba -- he has no right to these feelings in the first place: no matter how indignant or guilty he may feel, it doesn't change the fact that he has been lying to and manipulating her the entire time they've known one another. He can't even bring himself to tell her that he's been lying; he has to go through Ryuunosuke instead, because, even after all this time, he still can't face the woman whom he's done nothing but cause pain for from the moment she was born. When he can't even give her that ounce of respect, who is he to judge Mikotoba?

So he doesn't. Till the end of the game, he keeps Susato at a distance and pretends that everything between him and Mikotoba is as it was from the start. But, inside, I think he knows it isn't. Because I think Holmes can see that Mikotoba doesn't feel half as guilty about what they've done as he does, and that he doesn't view the fact that he left Susato 16 years ago as a real problem. And while he doesn't judge Mikotoba for that, I don't think he can look past it anymore. That final investigation and dance of deduction, to me, is less an assurance that they are still the same partners they were before, and more a final farewell to their old, uncomplicated bond -- the one that did exist before they grew to love other people and understand what love truly meant to both of them.

Going back to the ship itself, I think shipping them pre-DGS works perfectly well. They both had a huge impact on each other's life and changed one another for the better; Holmes by drawing Mikotoba out from his grief, and Mikotoba by pulling Holmes from his life of solitude and loneliness. They needed each other, but it is also because of these reasons that I think there was an issue of codependency between them, hence the semi-horrible for each other box I gave them. With Mikotoba, it's clear cut. Holmes helped him run away from his very real issues at home and allowed him to live like he was a bachelor with zero familial obligations again. With Holmes, it gets a bit more foggy, but I believe that Mikotoba basically allowed him to live believing he was the only person Holmes would ever truly connect with and properly befriend. Holmes is obviously his own person and whatnot, but I do think there was a bit of unhealthy attachment there on his end if not both.

During DGS and post-DGS is where their ship gets more complicated for me, because, while Susato is still very much there at the beginning of their relationship, her role in their lives and what they did to her becomes impossible to ignore once she and Holmes actually meet. I don't believe that they can just pick up from where they left off because there is now (imo) a fundamental disagreement in how they view their actions and how it affected her. So, even if they do go back to being lovers or whatever afterwards, I feel that there should be this chasm or weight between them that they simply don't talk about or acknowledge in any way. Because I don't think they'd discuss it. Holmes because it isn't his place, Mikotoba because he sees it as a non-issue (maybe he doesnt even notice this distance), and both because sweeping unpleasantness under the rug is so ingrained into their cultures.

My main issue with the way this ship is often portrayed post-DGS (why they got a 50-50 on the I would erase them from existence box) is that it ignores what happened with Susato. The few times I've seen the concern that she might have an issue with their relationship even brought up in hmmk works is always because they're gay. Which, like!! Fair!!! It's the 1800s, I get it, but!!!! You're ignoring the actual, very big issue for why she might be hurt and that's because DGS ends with her finding out that three of the men she's closest to have been lying and using her for their own means her entire life!!!!!!!! And she just has to take it!!!!!!!

Which brings me to the second most popular interpretation of this ship which doesn't just put Iris and Susato in a box somewhere unseen, and that's the one where all four of them are a peaceful happy family with 0 issues! And this one bothers me because it seems like it's taking what Susato said at the end of the reveal as what she 100% sincerely meant down to her core, rather than something she had to say because (1) it is her duty to honour her father no matter what, and (2) because Iris was there. When she learns the entire truth, I don't think Susato knows what she truly thinks or feels about any of it; but she sees Iris, and she sees this little girl who was abandoned through her circumstances as a baby, named after her mother, and forced to grow up much sooner than she should have been, and she sees a girl who is more her sister than anyone else. So she does what she always has and tucks away her own emotions so she might tend to someone else's. She has been the perfect daughter her whole life; she can be the perfect sister.

Even if you don't subscribe to the, admittedly, harsh view of Mikotoba's parenting that I do, I don't see how you can get away from the fact that they still lied to her for a significant portion of time. Especially from Holmes, whom she trusted and believed in more than anyone else! In the face of his shoddy deductions, she still held onto her unwavering belief that he was a genius and a good man, and then it comes out that he's just been lying to her from the first day he met her. I just can't extract the ship from their treatment of Susato, so when I say that I would erase the ship from existence, it's mainly about these two bits. As with Asoryuu, the primary reason why I don't ship them personally is because I can't do that to her.

And, obviously, it's just shipping and fun and games, and everyone should feel free to ship whoever in whatever way they want bUT IN A SPECIAL WORLD MADE PERFECTLY FOR ME. iris would be perfectly oblivious, and susato would have tossed both holmes and mikotoba into the thames and left them to figure it out. In a world that must still vaguely make sense with the canon of the game, though, then Holmes would have given Mikotoba the boot and taken the kids; because he may be a coward, but at least I can see that he knows he fucked up, and he allows Susato to set the terms of their relationship, just like he does Iris.

Anyway, I'm so sorry for how long, convoluted and only tangentially-related to the ask this is, but thank you so much for it, Grace!!!! I don't think I quite got down what I meant precisely, but it's the closest to coherency I've ever gotten so. Thank you 💖💕💗💓💕💘💕

#this one's getting TAGGED bc i spent TIME on it & bc ive been trying to articulate my thoughts on holmes & susato for ages #homumiko #susato mikotoba #dgs sherlock holmes #yujin mikotoba #dai gyakuten saiban #the great ace attorney #dgs #tgaa #honestly i feel like i still didnt quite say what i wanted to but this is the best ive got so far. i like the way their relationships are #handled and depicted in canon but the fanon ones just never sat right with me #i feel like i came across as very harsh to yuujin here wjsjdgak i think he's a good man and he did his best!! grief gets the best of us #sometimes. but i cant get over how he seems to show 0 compunction for leaving susato behind as a baby and openly saying without a hint of #'oh i was also ready to be with my daughter finally' that he was FORCED out of london. like???? ALSO the way he says he wants ryuu to go #back with him & leaves susato out to dry??? i know he says it's respecting her freedom and whatnot but doesnt that seem a LITTLE neglectful #in a way? like it can very easily be read as 'oh i dont need you with me' or 'i cant be bothered to worry about you right now' especially #when he's already abandoned her once like. !!!!! and even if you dont view it that way doesnt it seem a bit dismissive of her role in those #cases? susato was crucial to all the cases ryuunosuke won (and he would attest to that) but yuujin makes it seem like it was all ryuu and #just disregards how important susato was there and i. i dont like that. #some might say that i am unfairly biased towards holmes and that's fair. i kind of am wjsdh but the reason why i dont bash on his parenting #as much is because he never pushes iris to love or respect him as her father. he very much leaves that up to her so when iris asserts at #the end that holmes IS her father you know that there is a real sense of love between them. that's why that scene is so important and #that's what validates their father-daughter relationship #ofc u could still argue im biased bc he did leave a 10 y/o to go on a cruise for who knows how long so. yea. valid WKASGAKSH #anyway. thank you SO much and im so sorry i completely went off the rails there. i hope anyone who read everything got... something from it #💕💘💓💖💖💘💖💕❤️💝💞💗💘💞💞💕💓💞💕💖💖💖💖💖💕 #sorrry again grace 😔 i hope i came a little close to giving you what you wanted #mikotoba susato #mikotoba yuujin #dgs spoilers

[earl-grey-crow]

did she. did del just throw her phone into the fridge.

#PEAK behavior of her #there's something unhinged about susanna like I get why she's suspicious especially with a war going on but I feel like there's something #fundamentally unhinged about her #and WOW elliot quite a switch of behavior #y'all are right he is getting kinda annoying #though I still think it's fair he's annoyed at all the time traveling stuff and people demanding things of him and getting no thanks #I love casey why did alice have to be unfriendly toward them >:( #still surprised at hallmark being that diverse I hope they handle them well and just. do a good job with their character #because as aforementioned I think they're great #the way home hallmark #earl crow ramblings

[twicecut]

boop the ♥ and i'll throw diego into your inbox.

maybe he's helping your muse train at the gym (need a spotter? need someone to spar with?), maybe he's saving your muse's life, maybe he accidentally gets yours caught up in one of his bar fights...

or maybe something else entirely. but those are the three things rolling most around in my head.

#me: i dislike 90% of how diego is written in s3 #also me: love the 'diego instigates bar fights to let off steam when he can't get it in his job' thing tho. that's great. #that's not really fair tho. i did actually like quite a lot more of his writing in s3 than in s2. #and i really liked him at least trying to stand up to lila's emotional manipulation. that was nice. #kinda hated they still shrugged and had him agree anyway but telling her 'i need to think about this' was good. #if only he could set boundaries like that more often. but i'm derailing skdflskd #but i am very :( about how he is still flanderized pretty hard in s2 and s3. diego deserves better that being a joke. #out of knives [ooc];

[arataneo]

so funny to me how yuu gets to sleep in leona's room, get their tie fixed by riddle and KISSED by vil but ace can't share a bed with them

#take this massive L ace.. #however. movie date aceyuu is canon so good for him lmao #to be fair he quite literally has the most voicelines and is closest to the mc but still its so funny how he cant catch a break #💬

[bluesadansey]

remembering on my circa 2017 booklr I used to tell people to read Gemma Doyle by describing it as trc but with an all girls boarding school / all girl group in a historical setting… I was trying to do the lord’s work she deserved tumblr fame

#I do think that was an oversimplification of both but. Not totally off base there are some similar char tropes used I’m proud of past me for #the attempt. Also I think I’m going to start advocating for Diviners in that way now that trc fandom is apparently quite miserable post GW #you like gay people doing dream magic? you like witchcraft and ghosts and strong ensemble casts? #you like an ambitious abuse survivor getting a healing arc with learning to control magic/psychic abilities as a metaphor? you like four #book series where the first three books rock and the last book which is named king + corvid is a bit underwhelm who said that? #a positive point in diviners favor is Ling x Wei Mei >>>> RonanKavinsky. Generally find the take on dream magic in diviners more compelling #(although LingHenry + RonanHennessy both being mlm wlw duos who are the dreamers is kinda fun) #anyway. This is not actually a fair comparison because Ling is my fav or at least top two w Theta of the leads and I love Ronan but he is m #least favorite of the trc leads of which there are four all of whom I love so it says nothing bad about him. But it does put me as an #outlier re: fandom priorities.. #on the flip side while I love diviners dynamics sadly I don’t think they ever come anywhere close to Gangsey levels of extreme codependency #so I can not care quite as much…. #from what I remember the girls in Gemma Doyle are a lot more codependent good for them. Would have to reread to compare codependency levels #Ling and Theta are both my favorite in diviners in the same way Blue and Adam are my favorite in trc and Abed and Annie are both my fav for #community. basically one char who I love and overidentify with (Ling/Blue/Abed) and one char I love who in many ways I’m not like #but in a handful of very niche specific ways I also relate quite a bit. And am fascinated with (Theta/Adam/Annie) #s speaks #very off topic from my initial point which was you should read Libba Bray’s books #and in both cases I have a second and a half tier fav (Evie/Gansey/Britta) who I love fictionally but if I was trapped in a room w them I’d #kill myself. with the white blonde women I’d also want to make out w them debatable if that makes it better or worse #but like. I could not stand listening to them speak for that long I know this #Gansey might just die a third time by my hands…