#VERY long YIKES

[usermoon]

e&a

if i wanted to know who you were hanging with while i was gone i would have asked you it's the kind of cold, fogs up windshield glass but i felt it when i passed you there's an ache in you put there by the ache in me but if it's all the same to you it's the same to me

#everyone say hi blare!! #this is where anyone who has seen this posts and their story goes “huh?” #where tf is avia? why is ella kissing on a different girl #well to make a much more complicated story short #essentially this takes place before avia and ella get together and its all done in secret #blare is a long time friend and is from ellas hometown #when ella was in elementary school she moved to the town that e&a takes place in but she still sees blare during holidays and whatnot #but it had been a second since they'd seen each other and the two of them essentially form a friends with benefits situation #messy! yikes! it doesnt end well but eventually they stay friends #but this would be the very beginning of their romantic relationship #they also both use each other ella uses her as a replacement for avia and blare uses ella as a replacement for her toxic on and off bf #its a whole mess #e&a #daniella gracelynn #blare bier #dont be fooled #there is a tree but blares family is just the type to put it up before thanksgiving is up #this takes place on thanksgiving after ella and her mom visit their hometown #was writing a little blurb to accompany this weeks ago when i started this but i didnt finish it in time #might finish and post it later #and by later i mean real later cause you know me and my super consistent posts

[maingh0st]

@belabellissima's tags on this post deserve a post of their own, i—

#muffled screaming YOU GET IT #i think the ghost watched jude pull the riskiest gambles and repeatedly come out on top— #bloodied but with what she wanted—and was like. oh shit. she's not just a spoiled gentry kid #so taryn shows up and it's like. hm. yikes. there might be two of them #i'm not sure i subscribe to the idea that he fell for her while she was married to locke #(i think his feelings toward locke had to be so ugly that taryn would've gotten wrapped up in that at least a bit) #but i do think he never underestimated her #and had he not been otherwise occupied. i think he immediately would've noticed her posing as jude #i know holly is trying to telegraph romantic interest at the end of qon with him watching her #but i read it more like “you're a potential bomb that could detonate at any moment; there's no way in hell i'm taking my eyes off you” #she knows his TRUE NAME #he owes her his life #but i think that level of suspicion and vigilance would very naturally become fascination and admiration #she's lovely and kind but crafty and underhanded all at the same time #she's just human enough to make him ache. but she's just fae enough to accept him #oops this got long #anyways bela LOVE your tags thank u for giving me thoughts to chew on #tfota #the folk of the air #taryn duarte #taryn x the ghost #tcp

[sunderedazem]

14 - bitter

Ancients? :)

You KNEW what you were asking for. So have some Elidibus POV of Azem and Emet-selch's break-up before the Sundering.

-

There are shards of red on the steps, and utter silence in the square. He blinks. Etheriys feels a little like a dream now, with the soft roaring of so many souls dulling his senses- but this sting of sorrow and shame he feels, distantly. It aches in a way he's sure he's forgotten, almost. And yet he and all those within yet remember…

The people are watching (not saved- but soon) stricken, frozen - all but one, whose cowl hangs down his back, whose silver staff is still tight-gripped in white-knuckled fingers. Who is walking away with a snarl on his lips and tears streaming down his bare face. Who has before the entirety of Amaurot denounced the Convocation, who has accused them of forgetting their duty, who has- has accused him of bias- 

They had to save the star. They have to save the star. And He was their answer. Is their answer. The roaring in his ears will never cease, now. He thinks the stretch of his very self was a small price to pay for the blue of the sky. He knows it. He volunteered.

So many had. And yet-

Azem storms out of the city center with his staff aglow in Light, wreathed round himself like a shield against- something, and he does not look back. There is only the sway of his long white braid as he departs, and Elidibus- watches it. Watches the narrow shoulders and frail stature recede into the distance, until shattered and broken and burning buildings obscure him from sight completely. Watches as one of Themis's closest friends turns his back on Zodiark and all the salvation he promises.

Elidibus does not understand it. He- remembers. Azem had pleaded with the Convocation to stay Zodiark's summoning, to give him time to find an alternative. Half the lives of their people was too awful a price for him - and Elidibus cannot condemn him for that love he has for their star and people, cannot condemn him for his dissent. Azem is the Traveler - the Shepherd. It would go against everything his seat stands for to agree. Lahabrea had not agreed - nor had Pashtarot - but in the end, Elidibus could not be partial. And thus Azem was given his time to find another way. But should Amaurot begin to burn- then they would have to act.

But he returned too late. Three days too late. And his solution was…incomplete. An effort commendable, to be sure. A solution worthy of gentle praise, and perhaps use later. But the star had fallen to ruin, and Zodiark could restore it. And then- then the star could restore their people. And Zodiark would save them all. He would save them.

He will. No matter if one man refuses to understand. Elidibus and Zodiark will save him too.

No matter how bitter that salvation tastes.

There are shards of red on the steps. Emet-selch is kneeling among them, his hands shaking, gathering the pieces one at a time. He is not crying, Elidibus thinks. Not yet, at least. He seems more stunned than anything. Of course, he is not the only one, if the way the silence still rings deafening has any meaning.

Azem has always had a temper, though it was not often apparent. But this- this by far had been the worst outburst Elidibus had ever seen from anyone, let alone from Azem. And worst of all, it had been a willful misinterpretation- a cruel misinterpretation, made solely to make a point about their plans to sacrifice the lesser creatures of the star to return those given to Zodiark to life. And- and perhaps Azem even had a point, if a misguided one.

He had always been thin of aether, incapable of all creation magicks no matter how simple, and sickly for it besides. His elevation to the Fourteenth Seat had been long delayed by a discussion of his health and the risks posed to his own wellbeing, rather than any disagreement with regard to his temperament or accomplishment as a researcher and theorist both. But to use his own recurring illness - which Emet-selch had cared for him through countless times - as a bludgeon to say that the Convocation must therefore count him among those lesser creatures-

I too am thin of aether. Weak, sickly- imperfect. Incapable of creation. Are these the only requirements for you to be willing to slaughter living beings in order to undo the willing sacrifice of half our people? I gave you another option! Those who are thin of aether - thinner than me! - may use this dynamis to restore our star, and you dismiss their capabilities save for their worth as livestock? You swore to hearken unto my solution, Emet-selch- you promised me you would have faith I would find a way and now you- you reject what I have found in favor of dishonoring your seat and returning the dead to life? Fine then! I count myself among these lesser beings freely, for I am more akin to them than you. And should you wish to wet Etheriys with their blood, you will start with me. And you will draw the blade across my throat with your own hands.

But even if he had a point- Emet-selch had only stared, utterly lost for words. The entire square had been quieter than death. Even Zodiark had seemed to still. And then, caught in the folly of sentiment, Emet-selch had stepped forward, had reached out a hand, had called- 

Helios- Helios, please-

There had been a whirl of black, a flash of red- and then Azem's mask had shattered on the wall above Emet-selch's head, had shattered into shards of his office even as his sigil had glared red over silver eyes.

I am Azem,  Emet-selch. I revoke the privilege for you to call me by my personal name- not only do I not know this man you have become, but us lesser creations have no names to speak of, now do we?

Elidibus had not known how to stop him. Emet-selch had just dropped his hand, jerking a little as if he had been struck by a physical blow.

And then Azem had gone.

And now he is gone. And Emet-selch is on his knees, gathering the shards of that shattered mask, cradling them carefully, as if he could piece together what was broken. As if he could repair a heart threaded with thorns, or another cracked down the center. As if saving the mask would save the man.

“...he will come back,” Emet-selch whispers then, staring at the bitter, broken ashes of Helios in his hands. “...I- I will have that much faith in him.”

And Elidibus- and in Elidibus, the dark waxes strong, and he lays a hand on Emet-selch's shoulder. 

“Nay- we will save him, my friend,” he promises, and watches as golden eyes behind a red mask snap to him and glaze over. There is weight in his words now - the promise of a thousand thousand souls and the hope of their people. “We will save him, and the star as well. We will.”

The doubt and grief in Emet-selch's eyes disappears, wiped clean by faith. And Elidibus smiles, heart heavy with certainty and the knowledge that in time, Themis's dearest friends will mend the rift born between them here. They will save Azem - they will - and the star he so loves, and all the people too. Elidibus will not allow for any end other than perfect salvation. The bitterness of these sorrowful days will fade, and Azem will smile again, and look upon Emet-selch with that loving mischief in his eye, and this will all be but a distant memory. 

They will. 

He will make sure of it.

-

Enjoy the angst/keep the change ya filthy animal

#ffxiv #emet selch #azem #azemet #azemet break up #elidibus #elidibus pov #ffxiv prompts #helios > corrain gealai #corrain gealai #Azem: Helios #this works both in my solo ffxiv story and in the combo universe with Lelesu-Seleukos #and YEAH. this is cruel. Helios doesn't know about the tempering m #but even so #what a hell of a thing to say to the man who nursed you through every illness and loved you for years #like they have a *decades* long relationship if not centuries. and Helios burns it all over this #to be fair to him he is FURIOUS at the Convocation for deciding on the second and third sacrifices to restore the star #like he's figured out dynamis can help here #whether or not it works....well. anyway. but its a viable option and he's not even heard out. even by his own partner #so he's awful about it. very yikes. #this is the last time Emet-selch sees him too.

[fairy-verse]

What would happen if a Big Folk child from an abusive household were to seek shelter in the fairies' land?

Sweet child of the Big Folk, I know the song of the fairies are tempting to follow, and I know their pretty wings draw you in, but the land of the fairies is no place for the Big Folk, much less a child. Some of the fairies may grant you sanctuary for a time, but you are not safe here. They do not understand how delicate the Big Folk can be. Your body may remain intact, but your mind will shatter, less you leave them and return to your own people.

The fairies are not cruel, they are not kind; they are curious, wild, magical, confusing, and mind-troubling to behold. They are beautiful, sweet child, but they are not your friends.

Remain cautious when interacting with the fairies. They are of another world, one far away and much too different from that of the Big Folk. And in the end, you should never fully trust a fairy. It would do you good to seek help from your own kin, and instead observe and admire the fairies from a distance.

#aufairyverse #utmv #ask for the fairy #general fairy info #i'm sorry but the fairies are not like the big folk when it comes to lending a helping hand #not in the fashion that we are used to #they might make you laugh and smile for a bit... but never stay near them for too long #I am very fond of dark folklore #so some of that will apply to fairyverse #not too much... but a little #i say whilst writing something dark for another ask yikes

[vivelarevolution13]

Helloho, for the ask game:

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

and

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

Thank you! :)

Hi hi, thanks for the ask! <3 🔪 ⇢ oh man, not sure if this is that much of a weird one (or I just don't know what's normal anymore), but I do have several leaked CIA manuals saved as PDFs on my computer?? mostly just bc it's informative & horrifyingly eyeopening in general. I like to research a lot of sociopolitical stuff, or at least I try to, so a lot of highly specific Cold War/WWII/present day intelligence apparatus things tend to end up in my search history. Other than that not to go the "winter soldier + red room umbrella" cop out route, but...winter soldier + red room umbrella. Lots of layman's psychiatry & neuroscience, accounts of drug effects/use, lots of "asking for a friend but theoretically what would happen to your body long term if you had XYZ happen to you and walked away", waaay too much on JFK/other assassinations, lots of stuff on weapons specs and indoctrination and "gangs in St Petersburg in the 1980s?" and stuff like that.

Also like... which kinds of birds were native to NYC in the early 20th century and the relevance of catholic socialism in working class circles and medical papers on the side effects of the use of stramonium in asthma cigarettes, lol. (That might be one of the more specific ones, objectively.)

Again, this all feels pretty typical for Cap fics so idk how weird it is (and it's just a fun learning experience overall and mostly doesn't even end up in the writing) but I feel like my IP's on a lot of very confused yet suspect government lists at this point.

🧩 ⇢ oof, this one is rough. I try to always give fics with a good desc & tags benefit of the doubt, but I've also been around long enough that I can kind of tell if something's going to put me off, y'know? I guess I'm not a big fan of infantilizing adult characters or coddling relationships, especially if it's presented as an unproblematic given. I like softness as much as the next person, and I'm all for protectiveness and loyalty and comfort being at the core of both friendships and romantic relationships, but I like when it's a mutual thing that was arrived at after some time or even after it being a point of conflict/misunderstanding bc people deal with this stuff in many weird, differing, sometimes counterproductive ways.

In stevebucky fics esp while I love that element between them, I'm really not huge on Bucky bundling pre-serum Steve up to hide him away from the mean mean world, primarily because I think it would make Steve want to bludgeon him with a shovel for it repeatedly and Bucky would know that, and vice versa for them post-CATWS + dealing with each other's guilt (+ even and maybe especially the Sam-Steve relationship as it pertains to that as well). Which is not to say that I don't love to read about these conflicts being explored or a good "I want to help you PLEASE let me help you"/"you shut the fuck up and sit in the corner and hold my hand while I deal with my shit on my own" dynamic even if it's borderline unhealthy or codependent at a point - I just think it takes a bit of friction to make it interesting to read about and for it to arrive at a satisfying point in the end.

#thanks again! this was very fun and tbh a very good way to get me thinking about writing again :) #but also at the same time jfc I am...so sorry it got so long yikes. I really need to work on my word count on these #asks #booksandabeer

[brobotsbro]

...........if this was not somehow readily apparent by the constant talking about queer robots. this blog is run by a real life queer person. and I will not tolerate transphobia or homophobia and if I find out you are those things I will block you. Just letting anyone who may have somehow not gotten the message know. Trans rights isn't just referring to the transformers.

#i say this bc i just got spam liked by someone #which i like #but i went to check their blog #three posts in there is a heavily christian oriented post #which ok does not necessarily mean they are transphobic or homophobic but just to be sure i checked #and only found like 1 inconclusive thing but it was suspicious enough i went to their follow list which is public #and found them following a blog that seemed to be like at LEAST 95% transphobic and homophobic posting #they had 'conservative evangelical' in their DESCRIPTION #and they'd updated literally like 5 minutes ago so i knew this wasnt some long dead blog from the dark past #so i said yikes! and hit the block button #i have no idea how they got that far into my blog apparently not realizing this was a very different scene. #anyway. trans rights. queer rights.

[keeps-ache]

porch time porch time woowoo !! :D

#just me hi #this is nice hvhs :3 #sometimes i forget cuz we've always lived so close together but i MISS my alone-lone time hbshf #alone-lone time is like zero people zero people noises. alone time is like. i can still hear you lol #and i don't like putting on shoes all the time. very hassley i'm giving that a four pfk :) #we moved from the city and augh. aaaoighdhsuaha hbsh #i'm actually really surprised i didn't go insane during the two year transition here because Oh Boy #though you know what i think i did pay in others ways i haven't thought of yet so hehe :> puzzle for later! #ik the first year sucked absolute gravel like Yikes hdhsb #/but Anyway ouhhhhh porch time !! :D #n i can listen to my music out here too.. very cool.. :D #plus the nature and such things lol #there are these cats that keep trying to get at our cats food so i'm low-key looking out for them #//oh and i need to get a trim #or maybe i'll let it grow out again to do somethin fun with it!! that'd be cool but idk if i wanna do long again fish #it was. not so fun lol #the last straw was that i kept trapping it under my elbows when i tried to get up. treacherous hfbsh #//but ye gonna go back to drawing :33 #i like drawing centaurs lol :DD

[this-is-krikkit]

So… Fanfiction Writer Bingo. Do you still use/ever read your old stuff on Fanfiction.net? Did you prefer this platform to Tumblr/AO3 or do you find writinf and publishing is better on these?

Love you 💜

to answer your first question, dear titans in paths, no i fucking don't!! i did check it out again when i did that bingo thing (cringe intensifies) and the last time i posted on there was 6 fucking years ago 😱🤯 full disclosure, i get the urge to delete my account every once in a while, basically anytime i'm reminded of ff.net's existence, but i try not to give in. it's a part of who i was, yk? besides, opening my inbox on there just reminded me of the absolute pleasure it was to get my first ever feedback on my writing so.... yeah. i'm never rereading any of that shit though, i used to be even worse at writing than i am now BIG YIKES

as for the platform itself, the interface was terrible (still is) and imo counter-intuitive to use, so i don't miss that. also the option to read comments (aka reviews on there) directly from your profile would only appear, in RED ITALIC LETTERS DIRECTLY NEXT TO YOUR FIC'S TITLE, if someone left you a review. so in whatever interval of time before someone did, it would be glaringly absent, which always felt like a stab to my lil sensitive writer's heart (i was a teenager, gimme a break 😳). oh, and the search system is subpar, minus one million over ten, never would recommend even to my worst enemy, run for your life and give up trying to find whatever you were after on there shudders

i did love, however, that replies to comments were private and therefore couldn't count as another comment!! which is something i loathe on AO3, because it fucks up the stats and forces me to reply publicly, which i'm not a fan of. plus, it would open a direct, private line of communication between writer/reader, and that was a great way to meet like-minded people, to make friends, to elaborate future fics together, to discuss headcanons... there was a real sense of a writing community, i feel, that might be lacking a little on ao3 (which is why i link all my ao3 fics to here, though it's still not the same).

ao3 is definitely more modern and practical, but sometimes i miss the good ol' ff days. and i don't actually like posting my fics on tumblr, but i feel like i have to so they get what little visibility they can get x)

#i mean i once posted poetry in my native language terra CAN YOU BELIEVE #BIG YIKES INDEED #writing things #personal #fanfiction #ff.net #mutuals asks #bestie #dont f with moogles #long post #this doesn't count as a weird ask bc it's just very sweet #as are you ♥️♥️ #ao3 #fanfiction.net

[fandomsoda]

you say ink has autism or whatever and call him 'the child of the team'...yikes

Dude I think all of the star sanses (most of the sanses, in fact-) have autism, I call him the problem child because of his chaotic nature and often reckless behavior.

I said PROBLEM child, which just means “the chaos causer”, not actually childish.

I would not infantilize an autistic character, I am autistic, I have spoken out several times against the infantilization this fandom does to Ink.

#soda answers #Very clear to me you haven’t been here for very long- #Don’t “yikes” me when it’s clear you don’t even know me nor the context of what I’m saying

[cha1cedony]

Were you aware that Google Docs sometimes scrambles your most recent ~200 words into gibberish when your document is too long? Yeah me neither

#😭😭😭😭 #I fixed it but yikes #now that I think about it I DO recall this happening one other time when I wrote a very long chatfic in 9th grade #anyway. nightmare #this is going on the fandom blog bc. fanfic! it’s goinf well :) #chalcy stuff

[shingogf]

I will go ahead and say this bc i dont see enough ppl saying it

Despite his outrightly cartoonish, often times ridiculous way of being helplessly evil, medic is and can be a nuanced character. Throughout my years being in and out of various fandoms i've noticed a pattern: people clinging onto a morally grey character (usually a villain but not always) then proceeding to completely ignore or straight up erase bits of their personality when producing fan content, resulting in what i personally like to call the "villainized villain syndrome". Basically, overexaggerating their in canon personality and using the "oh well he's completely off his rocker so he MUST be willing to do ANY kind of immoral act because of it!" argument that I personally do not like.

I saw this predominantly in fanfics where ppl will write the reader being straight up n*n c*ned by him and not even JUST in a sexual sense, like being experimented on without their explicit consent which idk just doesn't sit well w me esp when u market said fic as a wannabe, romance-happy reader insert.

Medic, as an ENTP, uses ti-fe which implies NOT forcing yourself on others. Instead he uses his wits and charm to get people to comply with his wishes and we have clearly seen that once he outsmarted the devil himself. Demanding and forcing your views on people is a te-fi trait. He doesn't even need to use force, he's so good at dismantling others' logic and giving arguments that he just...gets what he wants.

I think you are heavily misinterpreting medic's whole character when u write him with a SINGLE defining trait a.k.a an overwhelming senseless evilness (TOWARDS his OWN teammates even) that results from his desire to be experimenting on ppl. In my opinion it does not make sense for him to REALLY put his own teammates mindlessly in danger just bc he feels like it. Yea he's unethical and completely disregards any kind of human norm but whatever he does almost always benefits the team in the end, not to mention he experiments on them p much consensually. Heavy seemed a-ok with being cut open since that's also kinda mandatory anyway in their job. Medic isn't "the big evil" he is "means to an end" evil. For such a logical man it would make 0 sense for him to disregard his team's safety COMPLETELY, it would be taxing including for his own paycheck.

Like yes medic big medic scary medic evil but have you considered he can have nuances and shades to his fucked up character? I think ppl forget he literally bluffed in front of classic heavy when he asked him if he has any problem with going against his old teammates only to cause the classic team to go into BANKRUPCY to revive sniper who technically was his enemy at the time. Then proceeding to rejoin his old team and AGAIN bluffing so heavy could take down classic heavy. And he was visibly happy to be welcomed back into the red team.

This isn't me saying medic isn't the worst example of a human being and that i want ppl to write him "softer", no. This is me saying that a villain wouldn't commit literally ANY kind of immoral act just bc he's "evil" and that even vile and violent characters can have variations in their behavior.

#i read this long ass fic that barely had any descriptive tags only gore and violence warnings in certain chapters and it got me concerned #i wont say much abt it bc its VERY long but basically. reader has severe medical trauma and she's portrayed as just going along w his shit #even when she's CLEARLY displeased and dissociating over it. and some shit he did without her consent only for her to find out later #and bc of that he treats her as nth but a test subject basically subhuman like. only for all of this to be disregarded later on #and for them to SUDDENLY get along after he had literally worsened her trauma just bc he felt like it and now theyre suddenly besties. naur #he would Not Do That. let alone to a teammate like why tf would he fixate on reader and put such expectations on her only to bully her when #ahe doesnt perform to his liking. his best subject or smth just the fact that he views her LIKE that makes me like yikes. #then later its all sunshine and flowers. y do ppl not do this w h*avymedic lmao they never portray them with a power imbalance #and heavy is literally his primary test subject. and reader was a cis female in that fic. hm #.txt #mine #💉 #tf2

[castielfucks]

w* will literally say shit like "let's go inc*st let's go!!!" and still think theyre normal... please repeat these things to a therapist

#like bro you have to fill your tags with tw and cw just for mentioning your ships name.. #.......yikes. #that ship p0ll gave me a very long block list #inc*st is fucking nasty im not stepping down from this lmao

[zhuhongs]

just relistened to a long voice message i sent someone and... in listening to it i got a glimpse of what i am like to others and wow. i get why ppl ask me to repeat myself so much, i really do trail off in my words and speak fast and am hard to understand when I'm trying to get my feeling out. i had no clue i sound like that. like not in a judgemental way, in a very literal like, its genuinely hard to understand what im saying kind of way. i would. like to fix that bc oh god. also my voice is very nasally, like i sound very out of breath but im not. and ive had breathing prblems before with my nose and lowkey i think i might need to do one more nose procedure bc yeah my breathing has gotten a bit different over the years and i dont like that

#this year has been a long process of me understanding that what i think im communicating and what actually gets communicated to others are #two Very Different things and i want to work towards being understood better bc as it stands... yikes!! #its especially weird bc the image i have of myself is very articulate and straightfoward and calm and academic when actually no. im very #much the opposite if that. or st least i come across that way. and I'd get frustrated when ppl didn't seem to get me but now i see exactly #why I've been regarded like this. like. there really is such a disconnect btw who i think i am and who i am to others.

[pallanophblargh]

You know what, just call it what it is. (Hoarding!)

This room is at least one of the less concerning spaces and it’s where the vast majority of my tropicals grow. Many of these plants I’ve had for a good 5+ years, and will likely be getting chopped and shared over time (looking at you, ficus!)

Luckily not finding any new plants I want. (Exceptions can be made for select hoya/fern/aloe/agave, though.) I’m definitely enjoying the plants I do have, and so long as they all get good care without driving me nuts it’s okay.

#houseplants #plantblr #houseplant hoarding #hoyas #ficus elastica #ferns #dracaena #alocasia #sansevieria #monstera #I do not sell plants because I’d prefer to share them #never got into the hobby for the money I just like plants #it’s rewarding to see something grow for you ya know? #most of the plants not doing well are succulents that got pests #rip to those poor little dudes #I need to stop the fern obsession though yikes #the Thai constellation was a very generous gift from a friend her name is Dolce Verde #she is named after Gorgonzola #she made her fourth leaf and needs to be repotted #you can see her 9 foot long root if you look closely #also behold my Hoya callistophylla/linearis I love them so much #video #April rambles

[osarquivosmagnus]

I'm really bad at theorizing so this is just some thoughts I have on the event from last night and who could be coming in

So there's the theory the people could be from qfit's group, right? Bc of what he already said in his messages to his misterious "boss" about the island being better than being a nomade in a wasteland (and the poster with the people walking looks like that; also the stuff around the poster could be things they were gathering? Idk). But I was thinking that the federation must be the ones bringing people in, right? With the train tickets and maybe somehow arranging the crashings? And even if the crashings of the ship and the plane were accidental, they are making sure everyone that gets in the island stays there.

It feels like the federation is trying to build or improve something, so I'm thinking the islanders must be some type of test subjects, but I digress

What was on my mind is how the codes are probably behind the train getting back to tracks and going into the nether. Right? The codes were the things that gave them the book with the teams instructions. And after that the train managed to get into the nether. So I'm thinking; if it really is qfit's group, or at least people from where he came from, and the codes are working against the federation (at least that's MY assumption), could it be they are bringing these people in against what the federation wants to take them down?

Maybe they hacked into the eggs tasks as a warning not to the islanders but to the federation itself... like, your time is almost up, federation, we are bringing more people in, they are dangerous and will bring you down

But also!! I'm sort of really sold on the idea that the codes are against the federation for this to make any sense. Also I really like the theory I read somewhere (either here or on twitter, i dont remember, im sorry) that maybe the codes are an experiment of the federation that went wrong and maybe want some sort of revenge (i dont think that explains why they target the eggs, but if the federation does want to protect them it could make sense)

Anyway!! Just some thoughts

(Also, I dont understand what the defrosting could mean. Has anyone gone back to the dungeon after the event to see if they could get in? If the timer really was for the train/the opening of the nether, I wonder what the hell is inside those ice doors... or if it was just a teaser for the 7 people + maybe an egg? Idk)

ALSO also... the timer was probably a federation thing, so this could just bring my theory down. They were the ones that sent the jaindes and set it off, right? Cucurucho was the one that told jaiden to put those things next to the freezers. But!! I do wonder about what the hell was a code doing inside. Which is why I think maybe they hacked the federation somehow... and if you watch qcellbit's pov; was it really the codes that sent him after qjaiden (the blue bird mission)? Is that how they managed to get inside?

#qsmp #yikes this got long #and probably nonsensical #but yeah that my brain for you #im very curious about who will come in #qsmp theory #? #is that a tag #long post #ive reread it like 5 times but I always seem to have typos/grammar mistakes #at this point it just #it is what it is

[electriccenturies]

inch resting how i am such a nice, normal person up until the point where i get triggered by irl things that feel too much like being on tumblr, and then i lose my cool...

like (now, after a ton of therapy) im totally cool agreeing to disagree, or understanding that someone might have a different worldview but the same underlying beliefs as me, or understanding that the reaction they have to something might be different than mine but not fundamentally incompatible, and understanding that we are closer in our differing beliefs than either of us are to OTHER beliefs even when we disagree on the exact specifics of lefty progressive ideas... but then it gets to the gaslighting 'actually, the society has always been the way we're trying to change it to be, and this all makes perfect obvious sense as objective TRUTH, and you're the weird one if you think it's new or need an explanation because nothing has changed even though it OBVIOUSLY has' or 'actually these people believe [opposite of what they believe] and [deliberate misreading of what they believe]' and i black out 🙃

its a problem. it's an actual panic response or smth and i can't control myself very well when it happens. and also i don't like feeling compelled to censor my observations about the world around me, and i don't like watching others be asked to either. why can't people just acknowledge that they're asking for something new, and then defend it to people who find it confusing? If you can't defend something without lying and/or using emotional manipulation to get people to stop asking, then maybe you need to think it through more??? or at least accept that it's not THE objective truth?

i regularly find myself begging my therapist to tell me if what im saying is a 'normal people' belief or not because my perspective is so, SO skewed from being terminally On Tumblr for 12 years. i used to believe crazy shit, even when i didn't believe it anymore. imagine my shock when i learned that many of the absolute no-nos on this webbed site do not even register as anything to average progressive joe. that many of the strict, important social rules on here are seen as crazy as fuck by people who vote progressive, hold progressive values, but aren't in these no-nuance no-debate no-disagreement echo chambers? god it's confusing.

the world is so much more complicated than anyone wants to admit, it seems...

#i got mental health acted once and the psychiatrist they made me talk to asked where online i spent a lot of time and i said tumblr #and i shit you not she said 'yikes. thats not good.' #like i think the whole internet has been discourse-ified but my god did being on tumblr fuck me up. i know i say that over and over but #ive been actively trying to heal from it for YEARS now and im still struggling!!! and still so easily triggered about it!!! im never free. #i think there just IS an inherent element of compelled belief or requirement to rewrite history to be more convenient in certain circles... #and it doesn't sit well with me in general but the cognitive dissonance i lived with for so long makes it much much worse #because now i'm mentally free but very aware of how much i am being forced to not just be polite (which i'm more than happy to do) #but to actually agree that its true when i have my own beliefs and perspective on the world #and to pretend i don't see things that are happening right in front of my eyes. to pretend nothing has changed. to define MYSELF that way.