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drconstellation · 5 months

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The Assistant Book Seller

Edit 1 Dec 2023 - added missing information on the "ribbon pattern."

Edit: 3 Dec 2023 - correct information about middle pattern from creator

GABRIEL: Greetings! I'm Jim! It's short for James, but I don't need to keep telling everyone that. I'm an assistant book seller.

I'm sorry. Before I do anything else, I need to apologize for something I need to write further in. I didn't plan to write it, I just kind of bumped into it and, well, I can't ignore it. So...sorry. It's said. Forgive me for what needs to be done.

Although he arrived with nothing but a cardboard box and Rodney the Stunt Fly, Aziraphale made sure Jim was clothed in appropriate raiment while under his protection. We'll forgive him that he took a step back about, oh, fifty years or so to the 1970's, as Jim's overall look is a nod to the famous old sitcom "Open All Hours." So if he looks a little bit out of place, or, a little bit familiar, even, that's why.

While we are used to seeing angels in overcoats, it's Jim's vest that is the particular feature here. But I will take a moment to comment on the overcoat - not just the colour but its lapels. Aziraphale has obviously given him a colour with an earthly connection and one that indicate that he has bought Jim under his protection, but the lapels look quite neutral, with one up and one down. (Muriel is the same in their Inspector uniform, btw) This is the first indication they are between two things at the moment.

Onto the vest.

There is so, so much work and thought put into this vest! It was a one-off commission for the show, and the creator, Sandy Higgins, has said she is not allowed to give away the final design pattern. I have tried to contact her, and I'm waiting for a reply, so in the mean time I thought I would ask my keen knitter of a sister-in-law about one of the patterns I'm not sure about. "Well, that's Fair Isle knitting," she said, but she knew nothing about the individual line pattern I was interested in. Hmm, I kind of know that already, its in the notes that are guiding me for this meta, but hey, why not do a broader search and see what comes up?

So once I got back home I did. "Fair Isle knitting patterns" hmm...Wikipedia page for starters...what on *earth* is that at the bottom of the page...? YOU ARE. FRIKKING. KIDDING ME!!!!!!!

"See also: Gumbys"

oh ffs

I am so sorry that needs must make me mention Monty Python yet again, but here we are. And we must mention them, because this link is just too...unbelievably, deliciously good.

If you aren't familiar with the Monty Python catalogue, and don't recognize the mention of Gumbys, they were a set of characters that dressed and spoke in a certain way but the main points to take away were they wore woolen vests in the Fair Isle knitted style and their catch-phrase was - wait for it - "My brain hurts!"

I think we've heard that somewhere before?

CROWLEY: When you first arrived, you said you were here because they were planning to do 'Something Terrible' to you. So you remembered it then. Remember it now. GABRIEL: It hurts to remember. My head isn't built for that.

Right. Now we've got that out of the way...back to the serious stuff.

The colours used in the vest are not your typical angel colours. There is a base of angelic off-white and there are some bits of purple for his royalty around the shoulder area - sometimes you need to look carefully for it. Otherwise it is dominated by vintage shades of red and green. Well. Who's an agent of change driven by love, then?

The horizontal stripe pattern is partly to remind us of the classic biblical robes with stripes that ran along them, much like the style of Crowley's black and red robe in the Job minisode, but is also part of the traditional Fair Isles pattern work. And each row only has two colours, but up around the shoulder area we do see purple start to sneak in as a third colour.

On to the incorporated symbols! I'm going to go from bottom to top.

On the lowest two we feature Crowley and Aziraphale. We have Crowley's demon satyr tail from the Good Omens logo on the lowest stripe - the double-headed arrow.

The next stripe is Aziraphale, with a variation of the classic OXO pattern ("hugs and kisses.") The X is meant to represent his angel wings, and the O is modified to mimic the "o" with a halo in the Good Omens logo. I've highlighted all three in the image on the right.

The third row up is a Sumerian Star pattern that represents one of the flowers associated with Gabriel, the lily. They are supposed to represent the purity of Mary, mother of Jesus, as he had one in his hand when he visited her during the Annunciation.

The row above that is what I believe to be a Byzantium pattern, and is included to show "an Angel's ability to be timeless."

The next three rows are still under a bit of a question mark as I write this. I plan to come back and edit it in if I find the answer.

The bottom of the three is the Duke of Buccleuch pattern, "to celebrate the long and necessary contribution that the cottage industry of hand knitted items."

The middle one - ? (perhaps you, the reader, know? It looks like a spiralling ribbon if I stand back, but that isn't sparking any connections, either.)

Edit: @noneorother tells me in a reblog (below) that this pattern represents the shoelace from the magic incantation Aziraphale uses "Banana Fish Gorilla Shoelace." So it is ribbon-like! This then points to the Second Coming, as it the shoelace references the end of the book, and the last paragraph of the book references Yeats poem "The Second Coming" as well as the novel 1984. To me it is then also telling us there is a cycle occurring, or a cycle that needs to be renewed. This fits in with some other clues other meta-writers have been picking up.

Edit 2: Turns out none of that was correct - I heard back from the creator herself and it's actually the double-ended satyr tail pattern again! It just seems to make a bit of an illusion of a ribbon or shoelace.

The pattern below is a modified OXO pattern.

The top one looks like two rams horns facing each other. A hollowed out rams horn can be used as a trumpet, and is known as a shofar in Jewish religion. Gabriel was traditionally known to carry a trumpet.

The ancient meander pattern would be recognized by most people, included as another classic timeless pattern found all over the world. For some it symbolizes eternity and endless flow.

The wheels here appear to be Michael's ophanim wheels, that would have eyes around the rims.

The hourglass is to remind us that time is running out. Memento mori - "Remember that you die." It is a major theme in both series.

Right up high, just before we lose the rest of the vest inside the overcoat, we get a glimpse of a large diamond-shaped icon. I wonder if this is another stylized set of angel wings, like we saw in the Job minisode on Aziraphale's golden collar.

To finish off the outfit, he is wearing dark gray trousers with sneakers! I'm sure that's so he could keep sneaking up on Aziraphale in the shop, haha. His shirt seems a little too large for him and the tie is knotted too high and is not settled along his centerline. It's all at odds with his previous neat and sharp appearance as Supreme Archangel Gabriel.

I'd like to say a big thank you to @aduckwithears for helping me with information on the vest and finding the creator's other social media sites. You can see their two posts about it here and here.

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omg-whathaveidone · 1 year

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*I'm re-sharing this in the wake of another horrific tragedy. We must learn from past pain...we must never forget.

"The jury’s verdict will never blind the world to what we saw on the videotape" April 29, 1992

I recently had a bit of a reality check when I was asked who Rodney King was by a grown adult, who was literally a year old when Los Angeles rose up. I don't want to describe what happened in 1992 as "rioting" because to me it was an awakening. I wasn't much older than an infant at the time...I was a tween. And I grew up in Ohio...so far removed from life in a huge California city. But the impact of being a child and witness to the chaos and racism will live with me forever.

As a tween, I was still sensitive enough to understand the pain I saw on television and the fear mixed with absolute righteous anger. The violent assault of Rodney King by police footage is so ingrained in my mind that I can still almost hear the ABC news reporters dissecting each awful baton swing caught on a grainy video. It still gives me chills and that's probably why I am still having difficulty understanding the experience of someone who would never have an emotional connection to that horrible day or the days following the verdict in Los Angeles.

During our discussion, my acquaintance asked a seemingly innocent question after I reviewed what happened in April 1992.

"And what was the jury's reason for acquittal?"

His question rang in my head because I had to explain that we had no internet. No one could question the jurors or the media to push for more information. The decision was just....done.

I've been thinking about that moment when he asked this question for days. Our society had absolutely no way to push for accountability in 1992. Voices were ignored by entire systems. People were dehumanized as props. Rodney King's despair and heartbreaking plea for us all to just "get along" was mocked for years. There was no "calling out", there was no organizing of young voices nationwide for mass protest, there was only an infinite void of injustice. And that is why Los Angeles was at a breaking point.

The context of this crucial learning point has been so misconstrued since the nineties. It makes me wonder if folks, specifically well meaning activists, who are the same age and younger than my acquaintance really see the political connections. Those who have mostly lived outside of systemic racism or who have benefitted from it may not see the similarities. The racist mantras of "inner-city violence" that are used against the current movements to protect black and brown lives were the same ones back in the nineties. Unfortunately, the rising of LA was used as "proof" in support of more racist stereotypes and are currently used in rhetoric by the right wing. There is no legitimacy to any such mantras yet I see social justice movements still being thwarted by these old tropes.

So...I guess the reason this whole conversation sticks with me is because of how quickly the real lessons of history are lost. And this is by design. Critical race theory isn't taught in a book. It is learned by sharing experiences and remembering the lessons of our pain and triumph. And I say this as a woman of color with a Master's degree in Humanities. I could never teach someone straight facts of something like April 1992. It had to be felt. And I hope that we all remember to share those feelings so we never really forget.

#social justice #blacklivesmatter #activism #critical thinking #critical race studies #justice for all #blogging #storytelling #blm #end police brutality #tyre nichols

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stinalotte · 10 months

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Season 5, Episode 6: The Shrine

I said I had to gather my thoughts before I would be able to write something coherent. I still don't know if I can do it justice. It's weird, but I hesitate to call The Shrine my favorite episode because it's so devastating. It's very shippy, it has phenomenal acting from everyone, the story is heartbreaking, it should be perfect - but it just hurts so much. If this is my favorite episode, what kind of masochist am I? (Don't answer that, that was rethorical.)

I'm placing this under a cut because this is gonna be long.

The cold open on this one is just brutal. Rodney is already pretty far gone, and he calls himself "Mr Rodney McKay" instead of Dr, because "doctors are smart, and he's not smart anymore". To know what's happening to you, to slowly lose your mental capabilities and to be able to still process what's happening, that's cruel. And then he's calling for John, and that's when I had to pause the video for the first time because the tears were already coming. The title sequence hadn't even started.

Fuck.

I lost my grandmother to Alzheimer's a couple years ago. She had a slow and steady decline and thankfully, it was one of those cases where she just forgot more and more, but without the mental anguish. She wasn't panicking, or aggressive, or even agitated. Just a smiling, sweet old lady, who in the end didn't remember how to sit or eat or breathe. When she died, I couldn't cry. I was too busy consoling my mother and aunt at the funeral. The first time I cried was when I rewatched The Shrine, years later. It just shook something loose in me. It's also the point where I decided that if I ever got diagnosed, and was still in a state to do something about it, I would end my life on my terms. I'm not putting anyone through that.

I remember Kate Hewlett saying in an interview that a lot of people on set where crying during those scenes because they had family members with dementia, and that she had to leave the room at one point because it hit close to home for her too.

At first I thought it was mean that everyone was like, "Yeah I realized something was wrong when Rodney was being nice to everyone", but then I thought, no, that's actually a good point. Because his friends were uncomfortable with alternate universe Rod (who was too suave and cool) and they're uncomfortable with a Rodney who is uncharacteristically nice. They love him as he is, not a polished version.

I know everyone is giving Dr Keller shit for not wanting to try the Shrine, but I really think it's because she's a doctor. I work with doctors, and almost weekly I have discussions about respecting a patient's advanced directive. I've had a doctor wanting to install a gastric tube in a patient who was at the end of their life. We had the advanced directive that CLEARLY stated they didn't want that. When I confronted the doctor, she was almost angry. "But they will starve! I can't let them starve!" Yes, you can, and you will, and you have to. The hardest thing for a medical doctor is to have to sit back and not be allowed to do something that might help the patient. I think that where she's coming from. There are treatments to be tried, and if Rodney is taken to the Shrine, all those other options stop. I still think she was wrong and I don't like her approach, but I think it's an explanation why she was acting the way she was.

And then we have Rodney running to John's room in the middle of the night because of course that is the first and only place he'd go. It hurt to watch him be so frantic and desperate. And John is right there for him, grounding him, telling him, I'm not going anywhere.

Beer On The Pier. Yes, you have to write it like that because this scene is a fixed point in time and a goddamn cornerstone of this ship.

Rodney, knowing this is probably the last night he'll be this lucid, wants to say goodbye. And John doesn't let him. Because Rodney's stuck with him until the end. He's not going to turn away, no matter how ugly it's going to get. The very thought of saying goodbye is so foreign to John that he doesn't even want to discuss it. "That's final."

(Also, just for aesthetics alone, the night shots of the city are beautiful.)

I'm trying to be a bit less rambly, but what can you do when you have this masterpiece of an episode?

In the cave, when Rodney is intense pain, John has his arm around him the whole time and doesn't let go until he is himself again.

I love how everyone is so caring and surrounds him with love.

And ugh, the surgery - with fucking power tools. Barbaric. But necessary. But man, to hold your friend's head in your hands, holding him still, while a literal drill is going into his skull? I'd have passed out.

The only tiny little thing that was a bit jarring was Rodney's confession to Jennifer at the end, and just because for me, it came a bit out of left field. But I am nothing if not good at ignoring things that I don't like, so I'll just refer to fanfics that fix this. No harm done.

And finally.

David Ian Hewlett.

Holy fuck, dude.

HOW are you not buried under a shitload of Emmys? How is there not a whole wing of your house dedicated to housing the tons of awards you should have gotten for this? (I know he did get quite a few, but I'm talking custom built shelves in at least four rooms. Minimum.)

Everyone brought their A game acting wise, but this guy knocked it out of the park. It was heartbreaking, moving, extremely believable, and just jaw-dropping. David is, in my opinion, one of the best, if not the best actor of the franchise, and I don't say that lightly. I have a massive crush on Joe Flanigan and he's great, same with Amanda Tapping, but David is just fantastic.

So yeah. There you have it. My very concise, totally normal opinion of this episode. I doubt anyone reads all of this, but hey, this is my tumblr and I do what I want.

If you did indeed sit through all of this, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to tag or reply or add stuff.

#stargate atlantis #john sheppard #rodney mckay #mcshep #it feels wrong to tag this disaster husbands because that's ususally so lighthearted #episode 5x06: The Shrine #thoughts and opinions™️

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audioletter · 7 months

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more kiiiiiss: mcshep, 14

Kiss Roulette Meme! They've been working on the puddle jumper for hours now, with little to no results.

"I think it's just fucked, Rodney," John drawls, pulling himself down onto the passenger seat and twirling a bit. Rodney's head first in a pile of wires, holding his tablet; John allows himself a moment of appreciation because there's nothing hotter than Rodney in Full Nerd Mode.

He's a simple guy, afterall.

"No, no - no. There's - I can see the problem it's just -" he stops to stab at the tablet, which lets out a wail that can only mean 'error' - "I just have to put in the correct calculations and wires in the right way, this is easy, I've done this a -"

"'Hundred times before', yeah yeah yeah. This doesn't get me closer to a turkey sandwich. And why am I even here?"

Rodney turns to the cockpit where John continues to swivel in the passenger chair, enjoying the indignant look on Rodney's face. They'd been a thing now for over a month, and John must really be flat-on- his-face, head-over-heels to take such a withering look and interpret it as affection.

"Because someone needs to fly the stupid thing without crashing through the ceiling, Colonel."

Oh, 'colonel', John smiles to himself, picking up and moving from the passenger chair to the back section benches right in front of Rodney.

Rodney, now buried so deep in the circuitry of the puddle jumper he's standing on tip-toes, doesn't notice when John puts his legs on either side of him - but John notices the tantalising piece of skin exposed thanks to Rodney's shirt riding up.

Like he's possessed, he leans forward and kisses Rodney straight on the stomach - he lingers, a moment, using his tongue and tasting the salt of sweat and feeling the body heat - before Rodney's yelp and tomato-red face appears in his eye line.

"What - John, what if someone sees?? I - you can't just -" a ping from the tablet - "Oh, we're fixed, yes, good - wait you kissed me on the stomach?"

John smirks and stands up, completely and deliberately in Rodney's space to let him know that a turkey sandwich isn't all he wants after this maintenance. "I'll go fire her up, then?"

"Su-sure, good, do that."

John's safely in the pilot's seat when - "My stomach?"

Worth it.

#fic meme #stargate atlantis #mcshep

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redrose-arrow · 1 year

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hi so i am absolutely losing my mind here, but you know those scenes in The Burning Bridge that are about Halt? And like the second chapter of that POV is basically Arald and Pauline and Rodney talking about what to do about Halt?

So it’s pretty common knowledge at this point that those chapters aren’t in all the books, just in some. Thankfully, a friend of mine once sent me pictures of those chapters so I could read them en translate them to English.

But I swear to Gorlog, that one chapter ended with Pauline saying “Why would I have more influence over Halt then anyone else?”

YOU MEAN TO TELL ME I LIVED SEVEN YEARS NOT KNOWING THAT THERE WAS MORE????

YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT ARALD ACTIVELY IMPLIES A RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN PAULINE AND HALT AND THAT PAULINE IS NOT HAVING IT???

YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT RODNEY IS CANONICALLY MORE TERRIFIED OF PAULINE THAN ARALD????

YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT THEY TALK ABOUT ALYSS AND HOW BEAUTIFYUL SHE IS AND HOW BRIGHT AND HOW SHE’S PERFECT FOR THE TASK????

i am genuinely having tears in my eyes because of all the emotions.

anyways, if you do not know what i am talking about: missing chapters available through the link below :)

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1RB9BOg1gZIG_07eP56ULIHBopnlCiOKA0X74DBKALTA/edit?usp=sharing

#redrose rants #ranger's apprentice #rangers apprentice #john flanagan

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missjadesfics · 4 days

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Are you blushing because of me?

Ronon Dex x Reader Dividers: @cafekitsune @rookthornesartistry Request: No Summary: Ronon loves making Y/n blush, even so much so it prompts him to reveal his feelings for her. Warnings: None, just Ronon and Y/n being adorable; Ronon does have slight wandering hands ;) Word Count: 2k Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate Atlantis, nor do I claim them as my own Comments, likes and reblogs are always adored and appreciated xx

Y/n Shepard was John’s only child, so what happens, you might ask, in her daily life? Being the child of Lt. John Shepard means she doesn’t leave Atlantis. He claims it’s for her safety after losing her mother; he devoted his entire focus to keeping his daughter alive and well. So Y/n adapted; she trained with Teyla in hand-to-hand combat and helped Dr McKay discover Ancient technology; lucky for Y/n, Rodney McKay let her help him. He is always too stubborn and proud to admit to others when he is wrong or needs help, but Y/n always had a soft spot for him. To the shock of the whole of Atlantis, Rodney McKay’s being selfless towards someone else was unheard of. Y/n often occupied her time helping Dr Beckett with medical research, and he always loved the extra help with the younger girl. Everyone in Atlantis had become Y/n’s family quickly. Elizabeth Weir, the commander of Atlantis, kept a close eye on Y/n when her father was away on off-world missions.

The day when the team assembled to go and find Ford, an old member of the team, Y/n desperately wanted to go. “Y/n, no, you have to stay here; we could encounter Wraiths. I want you to stay here. Understand me,” He told her; she nodded solemnly. “Fine, whatever you say,” she pushed him playfully as he kissed her head. “Don’t worry, we’ll be back in no time” He waved as Y/n grumbled, making her way up the stairs to the infirmary and seeing Dr Beckett on his chair. “Y/n love, why do you look so down?” He asked, worried Y/n sighed, sitting on a nearby bench.

“I am sentenced to stay here again while my father goes on another off-world mission. So yeah,” She swung her legs back and forth. “Does my father not trust me? I am twenty-two years old. I’ve never been off-world before. I’m sure I can handle myself” She walked around. Dr Beckett laughed, swinging around his chair. “I don’t think that’s the issue, lass. Your father just wants to keep you safe, that’s all. You are his only child. His protective nature just takes over; he means nothing by it. Here, come help me with these blood samples. I need help labelling and ordering” He smiled at her as she sat beside him, helping him sort out the blood test tubes. “Now tell me, have you read any new books recently?” He asked her as they both worked away.

So, to say the least, when John and the team returned not with Ford but with someone new, Y/n’s interest was piqued. Running to the main operating room, she saw her father with the rest of the team “Dad!” She exclaimed as she ran into his open arms. John laughed, lifting her off the ground. “Oh, I always love your hugs when I come back.” He looked at her with a grin, and Y/n looked around. “No Ford?” She asked, and John shook his head. “No, he uh got away in a Dart; we lost him.” he sighed Y/n saw Teyla and hugged her friend Y/n looked over at the new guy who was already staring at her Y/n pulled away from her hug with Teyla. John saw his daughter’s eyes land on Ronon as she pulled away from her hug from Teyla. “Oh, Ronon, this is Y/n. Y/n, this is Ronon Dex” Y/n smiled, holding her hand out for Ronon; he smiled lightly, his head reaching out, and John pulled Y/n back. “Nope, not happening. Y/n, go see Rodney; he said he found something new you might like to look at” Y/n’s eyes widened. “Dad, stop it!” She looked at him, embarrassed. John gave her a stern look, and she sighed, looking at Ronon again before leaving the room.

The next day, Y/n walked around Atlantis, stumbling across the cafeteria and seeing Ronon sitting alone. She smiled, grabbed water, a knife and a fork, and approached him. “Mind if I join you?” She asked. Ronon’s eyes looked up from the food. He looked around. “No one going to stop you today?” He teased her; she laughed, shaking her head. “Don’t mind my dad; he’s just overprotective” She sighed and offered Ronon the knife and fork. “Use these; it’s proper eating etiquette.” She watched him eye the utensils as he used them cautiously. She sipped her water. “I am sorry we didn’t get properly introduced yesterday. I’m Y/n; it’s nice to meet you officially,” She leant on her hand. Ronon nodded with a chuckle “Ronon, nice to meet you too,” he replied, eating his potato; she noticed he hadn’t touched the jelly on his tray. “You aren’t fond of jelly?” She asked, pointing to the small plastic container. Ronon narrowed his eyes at the blue food, shaking his head. “Not really. I don’t like the look of it,” He mumbled; he cleaned his hand and picked up the jelly with a slight smile. “Would you like it?” He offered; she smiled and took it; feeling their hands touch, she gasped softly. Ronon’s eyes shined at her reaction. “Thank you, Ronon”, she whispered as she ate the jelly. He winked. “No problem, Y/n”, he smirked, making her blush. So she blushes easily, Ronon thought.

As Ronon began to find his place in Atlantis, he became an official member of John’s team. At times, though, he was still standoffish to others and somewhat intimidating with a strike-first-questions-later persona. He spent much time with Y/n without John knowing about it. He could only imagine if John found out he and his daughter were alone together, the hell-raising that would occur from it. Ronon’s sleeping quarters were a few rooms away from Y/n’s, so running into her was part of the ritual. It was almost perfectly timed they would both come out of their room, lock eyes and smile. Walking beside each other, their fingers nearly touching, making their eyes avert down before pretending they didn’t notice.

Teyla had noticed the lingering gaze between the two; she knew the look of love when she saw it. If McKay or Beckett ever noticed, McKay would make a shiver and a disgusted sound followed by a typical McKay-fashioned phrase: “Honestly, what would she see in a guy like Ronon? He’s hotheaded, stubborn, and, not to mention, dives in head-first into danger. She should be with someone more like…like,” He would try to say, and Beckett would finish his sentence “, Like you?” He asked with a raised brow. Teyla would laugh lightly as McKay would look between the two, puffing his chest out. “Me? You think so?” Nothing strokes Rodney’s ego better than when someone thinks he is the best at what he does or if he would be suited to a romantic match with someone like Colonel Shepard’s daughter. “I guess you could say that; at least I am not throwing myself in harm’s way whenever I have the chance” McKay would continue his work, making Beckett chuckle. “My friend, if Y/n ever decided to be with you. It would be because you’d be the only man on earth, and that’s not a compliment.”

Ronon always found a moment to find something beautiful or unique on any mission the team was sent on. He loved seeing her face light up with each little gift he would give her. John had begun to see something was happening between his daughter and Ronon, his father instincts kicking in. Teyla would tell him to let the couple be. “Y/n is old enough to make her own choices, John. She knows you are protective, but you must let her grow independently at some point,” Teyla smiled. John grumbled, slouching in annoyance. “I know it will take some getting used to, that’s all. She’s never had a relationship; well, there has been no one that she’s liked, you know. And Ronon comes along and-” John spoke before halting his sentence. Teyla raised her brows. “He makes your daughter happy, John” Teyla finished. John sighed with a nod. “Yeah, he does, damn it”

Y/n sat in her favourite little hide-out, reading her book, when she heard movement behind her. Her head turned, and she saw Ronon climb over and sit beside her in the little nook. “Mmm, this is cozy. Good thing there’s only room for two of us,” he grinned Y/n blushed, looking down at her book. “To be honest, I never tested this cozy space with someone else, so I didn’t know if it could fit two people”, she admitted as Ronon laid back slightly. “I hope you don’t mind sharing it with me then?” Ronon whispered. His hand slowly moved to touch hers. Y/n felt her breathing hitch when his fingers touched hers. “I don’t”, Y/n whispered, her eyes gazing into his. “This reminds me I have something for you” Ronon reached behind his back and pulled out a small leather pouch. Y/n’s smile widened. Ronon grasped her hand and opened her palm, laying the pouch in her open hand.

“What did you get me?” She asked him. Ronon smirked, watching her open the pouch; her hand dipped inside and pulled out a necklace with a blue gem in the centre. “Ronon, this is beautiful”, she gasped, admiring the jewellery. “You shouldn’t have this, wouldn’t have been-” she began. Ronon held her hand. “The man who gave me this, I’ve known him for a long time; he visited my planet. He would carve with local stones, gold, and anything he could find beauty in and sell it. He owed me a favour, and he did this for me. This gem I found on one of my scouts it’s the last piece of my home. And I wanted to give it to the woman I had fallen in love with. A piece of my heart for her to keep,” He murmured. Y/n gasped softly, her eyes beginning to fill with tears. Ronon cupped her cheek, pressing his head to hers. “Ronon”, She breathed, her heart pounding, hearing it thump through her body. “Yes?” He smirked, his eyes shining with a mischievous glint Y/n licked her lips, her breathing falling and rising quickly. "I love you too," She told Ronon Y/n climbed onto his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck “Kiss me, please.” She let out a shaky breath as Ronon happily obliged her request, both of their lips melding perfectly together. Y/n felt Ronon’s hand move up and down her body. His fingers left a trail of fire in their wake.

His hands slid up her back, pulling her closer. Feeling her body relax under his touch, she fell into his embrace completely. Pulling away for a breath, the couple panted quietly. Ronon’s hands were placed on Y/n’s hips. "You are so beautiful", Ronon murmured, causing Y/n to blush her head falling on his shoulder to hide her embarrassment. “Are you blushing because of me?” Ronon teased with a laugh. Y/n pulled away and shoved him playfully, his eyes looking over her face. “I love it when you do; it means I’m doing something right” he smiled lovingly, her nose brushing Ronon’s softly.

"I'm glad I took your father up on his offer to stay in Atlantis."

special dt : @hudson-bay-girl

#jason momoa #oneshots #ronon dex #ronon dex x reader #stargate atlantis #missjadesfics #my fic #fluff #jason momoa x reader

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the-mushroom-faerie · 8 months

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Operation : Protect Sheppard

John comes out as aromantic, and his team gathers around him in the most chaotically supportive way. (he's actually aro-ace, but they didn't get that far in the conversation)

aroace!John; coming out; the team loves john (platonically); and john loves them (platonically); and the team Will Fight You if u make john uncomfy

"so, like, you don't like when people make advances or what?" Ronan asked, as eloquent as ever. Teyla shot him a look, but John seemed fine to answer.

"I was actually looking stuff up when I first realized it back on Earth. I think the word is aromantic. I just don't... feel that way about anyone, and I don't want people to feel that way about me." he stuttered a bit, and his delivery was awkward, but his point was made.

AR-1 was taking the jumper home, and there was a thick tension in the air. John was scowling, and Rodney was going on a rant about how John is such a Kirk and he gets all the alien women. Teyla and Ronan could tell this was getting next to John, but they couldn't tell why until he slowed the jumper to a stop and jumped up into Rodney's face.

"I don't like that! I don't like any of it! can't you see how uncomfortable I am when something like that happens? I thought you were my friend, but you complain and backhandedly praise me for something I hate and have no control over!"

John looked furious, panicked, and relieved all at the same time. Rodney's face fell in shock and guilt.

"I'm sorry, John. I didn't mean- I didn't know- I'm just sorry."

"no, it's fine. I shouldn't have yelled at you." John seemed to relent at how upset Rodney was. the other two remained silent, unsure of what they could bring to the conversation.

"yes, you should have. me and my big mouth, I was being a terrible friend and I should have noticed that it made you uncomfortable."

"well, I appreciate that."

"so, like, you don't like when people make advances or what?" Ronan asked, as eloquent as ever. Teyla shot him a look, but John seemed fine to answer.

Rodney was deep in thought. "if you don't want people to feel that way about you either, why don't we set up a plan for when someone does try to hit on you?"

"like what?" John seemed very skeptical.

"you could claim you are already in a relationship, and then call one of us over to help with the lie," Teyla suggested. "as all three of us know that you are aromantic, we would be a safe alternative."

"I'm down," Ronan smiled. "I'd beat up anyone who tried something with my partner."

"of course you would," John made a face at him. "so what, I'd just yell I'M MARRIED and one of you would come running?"

Rodney scoffed. "you wouldn't have to yell, exactly. just subtly turn on your radio and say it normally."

"maybe add another codeword to tell us which one would be best." Teyla suggested.

John had scoffed at the idea, but the more he thought about it the more he realised it could work. he smiled at how much his friends loved him, however misguided that love may be. he sat back down in the driver's seat and the four of them ironed out what they affectionately referred to as "Operation : Protect Sheppard" all the way back to the gate. they silently agreed, however, to not speak of the plan in Atlantis, and let this be a private affair.

it only took two missions for a trial run of the plan to be necessary. a personal record, John thought frustratedly as yet another alien woman advanced upon him.

"what say you if we took this... somewhere more private?" the woman smiled at him, her hand uncomfortably on his shoulder. disguising it as him brushing his unruly hair from his face, John activated his earpiece.

"I say, I'm married." he stumbled. it was such an odd statement in his mouth, but it was the agreed upon codeword.

"Oh? and who is this woman who takes your heart?" she didn't seem to believe him. who would be good in this situation? Teyla would probably handle it tactfully, Ronan already admitted he would come in guns blazing, and Rodney would channel all his annoying aspects into one jealous rage. any of those options would be good right now, as he was already panicking.

"we hear you, John. Teyla's on her way." Rodney's voice crackled through the radio, and John silently thanked him for making the choice for him.

"she's an excellent diplomat, and an ambassador for her people," John stalled. he saw Teyla in the corner of his eye, and he held out a hand to her. "as a matter of fact, here's my darling wife now."

"I am Teyla Sheppard, nice to meet you." Teyla smiled, and extended her hand in greeting. John thought the last name was a nice touch, made it very believable. the woman who was previously flirting with him flashed a smile that was closer to a grimace and walked away. John sighed with relief and placed a load-bearing hand on Teyla's shoulder.

"thanks. you did good." he said, still looking stressed.

"was the last name too far?" Teyla asked. "I couldn't exactly ask first, and I didn't want her digging too deep into the lie-"

"no, no. it was a good touch."

that mission went well, much better than Ronan's turn. a rather pushy woman made John's discomfort scale crank all the way up to eleven, and he pulled out the big guns.

literally.

"I'm sure you're very lovely, but I'm married." John uttered the codeword, making sure his radio was on. he put emphasis on every word to make it clear who he wanted. "he's quite the big guy, you wouldn't want to mess with him."

"really? you want Ronan?" Rodney clarified, his voice dripping with disbelief.

"yup, my husband has certainly defeated his fair share of wraith. who knows what he'd do to someone trying to take his man?" John continued, getting more anxious the closer this woman crawled.

"alright, you do you. Ronan's on his way."

several long seconds later, John heard the thundering boom of heavy, running footsteps, and he knew that he was saved. a large arm scooped him away and held him close. Ronan's gun waved suspiciously over John's shoulder, and a very concerning smile was across the larger man's face.

"hi. I'm Ronan." he smiled, glancing at the gun. "this is John. he's mine."

John chuckled nervously, and the woman made a face at the two men.

"if he's taken, why was he so expressive with me?" the woman countered.

"he's a nice guy. he likes being nice."

"I was just being nice. I didn't mean to lead you on." John added. the woman rolled her eyes and walked away. so far, the plan was 100% successful.

"was the gun necessary?" John asked as Ronan holstered said gun and shrugged.

"yeah."

John gave him a look, and the two of them walked away to finish the mission they were there for.

now, as you would expect from getting comfortable using a system, there were a few false alarms. one such false alarm was on an infiltration mission, where John was sent into a party that had the possibility of Genii spies. as he surveyed the room from the bar, a woman seemed to seek him out and sat next to him.

"hi." she started.

"hi." John replied. he couldn't be rude, could he?

"I'm Linda."

"John Sheppard."

an awkward silence. how did Rodney ever make the mistake of believing he was good with people?

"it's quite busy here." Linda stated. oh dear.

"it is."

"a lot of people. where do they even find all these people?" she laughed.

"that is a good question."

"are you here with anyone?"

here it comes. "are you?" he deflected. he didn't want to have to call someone in if she was just making conversation.

"I asked first." she smirked.

alright, better safe than sorry. good thing that the radio was always on, so he didn't have to worry about activating it. "I'm married."

Linda's face twisted in confusion. "do you think I'm hitting on you?"

"you're not?"

"heavens, no! I'm just being nice!" Linda laughed again.

"oh, I guess it was a false alarm." John chuckled, putting a strange emphasis on the last two words hoping that Rodney would hear him and stay where he is.

"you don't have to worry about me," Linda started again. there was an odd familiarity about what she was saying. "I don't do that."

"what, flirt with married men?" John joked.

"flirt with anyone."

that's what's familiar about what she was saying.

"me, too!" John exclaimed excitedly. right as he was about to explain, Rodney ran up to them.

"stay away from my man!" he panted, having obviously ran the whole way there. John smiled at his friend, and turned to Linda.

"this is Rodney. as I was about to say before he heroically came to my aide, he's my friend who pretends to be my husband when I'm in uncomfortable situations. you must not have gotten the false alarm, sorry you had to run all the way over here."

Rodney looked very lost as Linda gasped.

"that's why you randomly said you were married?"

"it was our safe word." John nodded.

"is anyone going to fill me in?" Rodney kept looking between them, getting more confused and frustrated by the second.

"Linda here is in the same boat I am," John said carefully. "we were just... being nice to each other. I got a little nervous, but turns out I had nothing to worry about."

"Oh. thats good, I guess." Rodney mumbled.

"would you like to join us?" John asked, picking up on his friends awkwardness. Rodney nodded, and the three of them sat and chatted for a while. of course, John had to hop up when his target arrived. they were there on a job, after all.

#stargate #stargate atlantis #stargate atlantis fic #sga fanfic #mushroom fic #aroace!john sheppard #john sheppard #teyla emmagan #rodney mckay #ronan dex #platonic ar1 love #aroace #most of the tags up top come from stick #bc idk how to do that lol

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the-soliloquies-of-sadists · 2 years

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#303

“Clay, we’ve known each other for what? Thirty something years since our college days? I stood up in all three of your weddings. I was there for you when your dad died. I helped you try to save what was left of your business. So, I am here for you if you need to talk about Muriel. The divorce not going well? Thought so. It was clear to Laurie and me when we invited you for dinner last month. You didn’t want to talk about it, but we knew. She went through your money hunh?... Yeah. Fucking cunt…. Oh the divorce is over? Good…. Oh she’s got the house?... Ah! So that’s why we are here looking at your new cabin in the woods. Gotcha! I thought it was for another reason. I thought you bought this place because you wanted a private location to shoot your Only Fans porno videos….

“Don’t look at me that way. I know. From what I could see, you have two accounts, DadsCumDumpCunt and DeepCleaningDadsCrack. Love the adherence to the same acronym. Now you may wear that hood to block your identity, but your pec tattoo told me everything.

“Stop with the panicking. I’m just surprised that not only are you a sperm burper but you are one hell of a pig. Damn, I watched some of your videos and thought, how could I have missed this side of you for all these years? I’m fucking pissed off at you! Not over being an ass-eating, gaping-cunt fag. No, I could have been raw dogging your cunt on our hunting trips or gotten my shithole spit cleaned after a night of drinking all these years? That’s right. Remember Rodney? I used to fuck him three times a week. I have been using fags since college pretty much nonstop. I can’t tell you how many boys I have kept and then tossed aside.

“So who is this dad from your videos? I know they are different men in each video, but who is the dad in the titles? Do you have a daddy on the side?... No?... This changes everything. You are no longer my best bud. You are a bitch to me from this point on. Sure we may socialize, but make no mistake who the man is right now. And right now, this man needs his shithole tongue fucked. Is your rimseat I’ve seen in the videos in the cabin? Good. We’ll be using that in a bit. Kneel behind me.

“Before I drop my pants, you need to know that I have been using faggots for decades. Having a nine-inch dick affords me the opportunity to abuse them beyond what they would normally do. You already knew that I’m a controlling asshole, but it’s even more so when I have a faggot groveling at my feet begging for my dick to split them in two. I ain’t changing being the asshole.

“Once you stick your tongue into my crack and taste the ass of a real man, the past thirty years will mean nothing. That is, you are agreeing to be my fag, my slave, my cunt, my toilet, my property. I don’t treat this as a roll play thing. I will control everything: your job, your new cabin, your Only Fans accounts—which I may or may not shut down, when you have sex, and so on. Once your tongue enters my ass, you will be mine. This is the only time I will give you to back out.

“Here’s the ass you will be worshiping for hours at a time just about every day. I knew I was going to confront you about your videos, so I prepared my ass for you to test out your crack deep cleaning service. Take a deep breath. Here let me blow you a kiss. Nasty hunh? This is the moment. Eat me or get out.

“Atta boy!... Fuck! Fuck! God damned you know what the fuck you are doing. Jesus Christ, why did it take 30 years for this moment? Give me a reach around. Feel how hard you got me.

“Having my ass eaten is my favorite thing to do, way more than fucking or getting sucked. Man! I can’t count the number of times that I used my big dick privilege and waived it in their faces just to get fags to do a lot more than licking my crack. I have learned throughout the years that they will do anything I demand just to get access to it.

“But you are just doing it because it’s in your core. I’ve seen your videos. You have this drive for tongue fucking; you are a natural ass eater through and through.

“I can’t take this anymore. Let’s get out of these clothes and go inside. I need to sit on that face for a few hours. Cunt, you have a lot to make up for all that lost time.”

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fraudulent-cheese · 14 days

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So i watched episodes 3 to 8 of Pahkitew Island

Again, watched these with my buddy @rockin-it-rusty! And, holy shit these episodes have got me genuinly wondering why Pahkitew's so hated.

I'll go over the negatives first; the challenges are kinda eh. The Truth or Scare one is great, and the cave one is interesting due to it's hints at the Fake Island reveal (as heavy handed as they were), but most of these were just pretty out there to me? They mostly felt like an excuse to put the characters in situations mostly. Just have Topher make a narration joke, give Max and Scarlett an interaction, have Sky and Dave dance around eachother all due to a thing the challenge made them do. I don't mind the first two much, but the last one gets super repetitive man. Glad they mixed it up a bit by making Shawn try to wingman Dave though, i like their friendship! im a bigger dashawn shipper now oops

ANYWAYS IMA TALK ABOUT THE CHARACTERS NOW BECAUSE LET'S BE HONEST, THE CHARACTERS CARRY THE SHOW!

Amy... Ok im very mixed on her. On one hand, she serves her role as the mean twin relatively well. But on the other, that's all she really is! Her one trait is being mean and hating her sister, and that's all she really does! Granted she has a thing? Where she gets sayings (?) wrong, or just gets words wrong (she says parfait is german. it's french. i would know) which! could hint at something! (maybe less smart than her sister?) but they don't do shit with her outside of her swimming back to the island in episode 5. god i wanna rewrite this season so badly now to give her a bigger role. idk shoutouts to Twinning with a Twist for redeeming her while still giving her some edge ig.

Rodney. i uh

I haven't thought about him since his elimination honestly. I just doooooon't care about him it's crazy. Most forgettable guy in the entire series.

Sammy! Ok back to the siblings rambles! I wish the show leaned into her scheming more. Girl in five episodes pulled identity theft and did nothing else. Why. Her relationship with Jasmine is adorable, and i wish she got Jasmine to call her by her actual name, and a personality too! It's really a shame man :(

Sidenote, but like her team fucking hated her for some reason??? Like what. I know it's because of that one scene, but really?

Ella!! My sweet girl Ella!!! She didn't do anything wrong man she just likes singing leave her alone!!! Chris really fucking hates her and it's pretty entertaining at least, but i'd say his beef with Topher's funnier. She has a nice singing voice, and i love how passionate she is about fairytales and stuff. You could do so much with the Prince thing and the show... didn't. Like what even was that. Conflict that wasn't one that lasts an episode. what

Gotta say though, her elimination was fucking ass, Max 100% should've been kicked instead of her.

Topher. Ah the opher. He's a special case, even in the context of Pahkitew Island itself! Because the dude's not here for the game. He's here to meet his idol, Chris Mclean (he really knows how to pick em, huh). I like the progression he's got, from wanting his approval to straight up wanting to host the game instead of him. I'll admit, my opinion's a little skewed since i am mutuals with the Topher guy on Tumblr, but i like him regardless!

His relationship with Chris is easily one of the more interesting parts of the season, mostly because a 30-something year old dude having beef with a teenage fan is hilarious, and you could definitely spin it in a sad way from Topher's perspective.

It also helps that he's genuinely funny! His few interactions with the other campers are also pretty fun, he dgaf about them it's great.

Im kind of mixed on Dave, i'll be real. On one hand, im glad they ditched the whole "he doesn't like anyone on this Island" trait three episodes in because that would've gotten. SO ANNOYING. SO FAST. (hell i'd argue it was already annoying), and him being a hopeless romantic could be a fun trait, if done right. It also helps that he's really pathetic and i find that funny. His friendship with Shawn's fun too!

But on the other hand... Yeah, even before the finale the Skave plotline's really boringgg. They just dance around eachother for half the season for like! No reason! Please just have a conversation, even if it takes other people to sit them down to have it! I know why they didn't because the finale needed them to not actually talk about it but at least have Sky tell him she'll explain later or have him not be a coward and ask her about it himself!!! ack!!

Also the thing with him and Ella went literally nowhere. I have 0 feelings about it because it's just there for some reason. Idk they just really wanted to shoehorn in romance for every girl this season huh.

Scarlett's a really underutilized character pre-Island reveal. The bulk of her interactions with the other campers are with Max, who has a ton of screentime for some reason (which i don't personally really mind but i'll explain later) which honestly sucks because she's a fun character! I want to compare her to Twilight Sparkle at the very start of MLP. She's smart, she knows it, she can communicate with her teammates just fine and just chooses not to usually. I like her alot! Im just... really disapointed that she's so in the background usually; if anyone's a wasted character in tdpi, outside of the Twins i'd say it's her.

Her legit wanting to kill Max is great though. That's how i'd react to him irl. Don't get the Max saying she had a crush on him three episodes in, or the quip Chris made during the team switching tho.

SPEAKING OF WHICH, MAX! I swear, i was convinced i'd find this guy annoying pre-watch but uh... I like this guy! No really, i do! He's like Mal, only the narrative doesn't take him seriously in the slightest and it's hilarious to watch! Im like Sugar in that one clip, i am laughing at this buffoon's intelligence, and his stupid catchphrase, and his "evil" plans, and his general delivery! Max is funny!

Even when the Scarlett "minion" thing kicked in i still found him funny! Don't get me wrong, i wish he'd gotten out earlier (ESPECIALLY when he was supposed to get kicked in the episode Ella got eliminated into) or just gotten less screentime in general, but in the season proper, yeah he's a funny guy! Big gimmick, but i like him! Please don't add nuance to him, i don't care

Jasmine... certaintly exists! I'd call her the Season's rock, the one character that's emotionally intelligent on the show. She's fun in general, and also the only one noticing things going wrong with the robotic island. As said before, her relationship with Sammy is great to see, and i wished we'd see more of her and Sky's friendship and uh. For there to be more between her and Shawn? Because the only things i've retained is that they blushed at eachother once and then trust issues party because he hit her once during a challenge and that completely broke her trust in him - which, could be an interesting aspect of her character to explore since if that's all it took for her to pull a 180 on Shawn, the girl must have a complicated relationship with trust. That's an interesting flaw! It also shows up with her rapport in Sky in the later episodes of this batch, and. GOD. I wish it was developped man!

The issue? Yeah it's dragged on so longggg man! It's frustating to watch frankly because i really wish they'd resolve this conflict quicker since it's like. The same thing every episode :( to my knowledge it's solved in episode 9, but it did NOT need to be dragged out for 4 episodes.

Unrelated to her charater, but her height difference with the other campers is kind of ridiculous. In some shots the characters look so small compared to her it's crazyyy

Ok, now. Sugar. I'll be honest? She's great! She's just a menace and doing her own thing and it's fun to watch! She's also interesting in terms of backstory since she's canonically a pageant queen; her relationship with Ella is greatly impacted by this, since she heavily suspects her of lying to her face when it's just. Ella being Ella. Similar thing to her opinion on Topher; she doesn't like him for his sucking up to Chris, the host (something that Rusty probably agrees with). I fucking wish she was more popular because then people would look into her more, but alas. She's a female, plus sized character in Pahkitew Island, so considering the Fandom's biases, it was never going to happen. U_U

OK TIME FOR ZOMBIE BOY. So, Shawn. He's definitely more present in these episodes than he was before, and, again, i think he's fun! He's a weird little guy. He's got interesting skills (his camouflage, legit parkour, general athleticism) and his personality's interesting as well compared to the other guys. The zombie thing is fine, actually, because they do different things with it over the course of these episodes. Not much to say about him, he's a solid character to me and i wish he had more interactions with the cast outside of Dave and his pining for Jasmine. Who he's talked to like, five times at this point? Again, they probably should've talked stuff out faster than this for me to actually enjoy it. Oh well.

And finally, Sky. She's an interesting case for me? She's fine, mostly. She's the Normal Person™️ of the cast to me, and that means she really struggles to grab me. It's made worse by her main plot being a basic romance plot where the gimmick is that she's a reasonable human being and Dave isn't. And neither are able to have a normal fucking conversation about it either. The mixed signals thing could've been interesting, but this is Fresh TV writters, so of course it didn't end up that way. I assume the episodes without Dave are the ones where her personality shines more? Because so far she's just been really reserved and calm. And said she'd "focus on the competition only" And then. Doesn't. Really. God i wish this season treated it's female characters better :(

OK SO OVERALL THOUGHTS:

Im mixed on alot of the character decisions

god i wished these people talked more

the screentime is not well split among the cast

the romance plots and pacing of the Island plot are the weakest parts of this season

the challenges are fine

Why does Chef have 5 lines total.

Pahkitew Island does NOT deserve the overly negative rep it gets in this Fandom, at least based on the first 8 episodes.

#cheese posting #string cheesing #td amy #td rodney #td sammy #td ella #td topher #td dave #td scarlett #td max #td jasmine #td sugar #td shawn #td sky #tdpi #total drama pahkitew island

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fuck-customers · 4 months

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Kind of a fuck customers but also a satisfying story at the same time.

My role in the call center I work in involves taking specifically corporate calls, which means I spend all day talking to “business professionals” (and I use that term loosely) including CEOs. As you can imagine, over 90% of these CEOs are the scum of the earth and the most entitled assfaces on the planet.

A week or so ago, I took a call and went through my usual routine of greeting the cardholder and then began going over verification questions. Since we’re A.) a bank and B.) a bank that handles corporate and government credit cards, we take security seriously and require a caller to be able to verify 3 pieces of information based on what the person responsible for their credit cards put on the account. If they don’t pass, we refer them to their company to get the right details.

So as I’m doing this, the guy on the phone is getting increasingly irritated as he keeps getting the security questions wrong. I’m calm and professional the entire time but firm. Eventually I run out of things to verify with him and tell him that we won’t be able to assist and that he needs to contact his administrator. This is apparently where I went wrong.

“LADY I AM THE ADMINISTRATOR!!” He screeches. Ok, great. I look him up and that’s true but there’s a second admin listed, so I ask him to check in with him. He then yells “THERE IS NO OTHER ADMIN! I’M THE CEO OF THIS COMPANY FOR CHRIST’S SAKE!!”

I apologize and tell him while that may be true, he still got his security questions wrong and needs to reach out to his account coordinator then. This man then proceeds to scream at me for the next minute or so saying how we’re an awful bank, how he’s had problems with us for years, blah blah and how we have the worst customer service ever. Keep in mind, I’ve been nice and empathetic this entire time but also I’m not gonna lose my fucking job just because a guy in a suit doesn’t know his shit. I give him the email to his account coordinator and stress again that he needs to talk to them. Then this exchange happens:

Him: “So let me get this straight. You are saying you are REFUSING and UNWILLING to help me, right?

Me: “No, actually I’d love to help you, however we have these security procedures in place for yours and your company’s protection and cannot make exceptions for anyone.”

Him: “This is fucking UNBELIEVABLE! I’ve HAD IT with this bank!!”

Me: “Ok, I’m sorry to hear that. Anything else I can do for you before we disconnect?”

Him: “WHAT IS YOUR NAME? I NEED YOUR NAME. NOW.”

Me: *gives my first name and spells it for him even though it’s a very basic 4 letter name because I’m a bitch*

Him: YOUR LAST NAME.

Me: “We don’t give out anything but our first name for the safety of our employees.”

Him: *insert that condescending, pissed off chuckle middle aged men do when they’re mad here* “Well I’ll tell you what (My Name), when I close this account and pull my MILLIONS OF DOLLARS out of (bank name) and they ask me why, I’ll make sure to tell them that it’s (My Name)’s fault. And I will see to it that you won’t be able to get another job outside of the minimum wage fast food job or whatever you had before this. How does that sound?”

Me: “Sounds great. Now seeing as how this conversation is no longer productive or professional and threats are being made, I’ll be terminating the call, have a nice day.”

Him: “DO NOT HANG UP O-“

Me: *click*

And that’s how making rich, powerful men rage-cry became my new favorite hobby. Thankfully, I haven’t gotten any feedback on that call; not that I would, seeing as how I did my job exactly how I was supposed to. Anyways I hope I’m his 13th reason. ❤️

Posted by admin Rodney.

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phoenix-flamed · 5 months

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Prefacing this with I AM A FUCKING MORON, AND NOT AT ALL AN EXPERT ON ANYTHING EVER, SO TAKE WHAT I SAY WITH A CUSTOMARY GRAIN OF SALT BECAUSE I COULD VERY WELL BE 1000% WRONG IN THIS ASSESSMENT AND THEORY -- IN FACT, I'M NEVER AT ALL SURPRISED TO LEARN WHEN I AM WRONG.

OKAY SO I'M PLAYING THE ROSALITH FLASHBACK, AND ALL OF THE LITTLE MANNERISMS OF THE CHARACTERS THAT I NEVER CAUGHT BEFORE. Like Elwin patting his chocobo after he dismounts......

BUT THAT'S NOT ACTUALLY WHAT I RAN BACK ONTO HERE TO RAMBLE ABOUT.

RODNEY'S FIGHTING STYLE IN THE TUTORIAL. THE THRUSTS! okay ignoring my giggling over mental jokes about how good he is at thrusting --

So when I first played through the game, I was always poking fun at how, for lack of better terms, primitive Rosaria seems compared to Sanbreque. Most notably, the contrast between Rosaria's Shields and Sanbreque's Imperial forces at Phoenix Gate -- where the Shields have leather and chainmail, the Imperials have suits of armor.

Yeah, yeah, I know, I know -- it's not about what armor someone wears, it's about their skill in battle. BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT.

OKAY, SO, BACK TO TUTORIAL MAN RODNEY MURDOCH. MR. LORD COMMANDER HIMSELF. The first time around when I did the tutorial, I didn't think anything of anything, because I was focused on learning the controls. But there's something he tells Clive, in the bit about dodging: only move when necessary.

This statement. This statement. HEAR ME OUT. So okay, Rodney's method of combat primarily utilizes thrusting for attacks. Combine that with his advice of, "only move when necessary", it makes sense why he'd say that -- at the risk of stating the obvious here, swinging a sword takes energy. Now, thrusting a sword the way that Rodney does, it definitely takes energy, because he's, for lack of better terms, charging up for a heavy thrust. To do this successfully and consistently in a fight, you should probably be conserving and utilizing your energy more carefully, otherwise you'll run out of stamina really fucking quick. Hence the significance of the statement to only move when necessary.

Now, the detail of the chainmail armor versus full suits of armor. Seems pretty mismatched, at a glance -- at least, it did to me. But it really isn't mismatched at all. Fighting in a suit of armor and fighting in chainmail are two different ballparks, with different pros and cons. Rodney talks about how important dodging is, and how it can mean the difference between life and death, which again at the risk of stating the painfully obvious, is incredibly true! When you're wearing lighter armor like that, your disadvantage is that you're more vulnerable, while your advantage is that you have better mobility and agility. So it's a tradeoff.

BUT BUT BUT ALKD;GJL;FAGLK OKAY AGAIN HEAR ME OUT, FIGHTING SOMEONE IN A SUIT OF ARMOR AS SOMEONE IN CHAINMAIL ARMOR --

There is absolutely no reason whatsoever why someone in chainmail can't go toe to toe with someone decked out in armor. When fighting someone like the Imperials, the key is not to try and put a dent in the armor; if you do that, you're setting yourself up for a hard time, and you'll likely run out of stamina before you can succeed. No, it's about finding weak spots and focusing heavy strikes at those specific locations, and in my opinion far more importantly, it's about wearing your opponent down, rather than literally taking them down.

A suit of armor is heavier, no matter how physically strong and well accustomed to wearing it a person is. Add on top of that the weight of a weapon, and you're going to be exerting more energy and using up more stamina per strike than someone wearing lighter armor.

Given the fact that Rosaria's military wears leather armor and chainmail... It's my assumption that they are trained to fight more strategically, rather than fight harder. YEAH, I KNOW, AGAIN STATING WHAT'S PROBABLY OBVIOUS, BUT. alkfdjls The reason I fully believe that they could and would easily be able to combat Sanbreque's troops is because their focus would be on wearing the Imperials down. Wear a soldier down enough, and their ability to fight is not only compromised, but in order to keep fighting, they'll likely have to remove their armor! That is the end goal. That is why you conserve your energy by moving only when necessary, and time your strikes strategically when an opening arises, and you make each strike count.

Wear your opponent down in a fight, and it literally will not matter how strong their armor is.

What does any of this have to do with anything at all? Yes.

#Headcanons #This does make me super excited over the possibility of how Elwin himself may have fought in combat --#especially when looking at his sword and its size in combination with the fact that he too wears chainmail under his surcoat

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spurious · 4 months

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fic writer 20 questions

I was tagged by @alienfuckeronmain & @nimuetheseawitch to do this one!

How many works do you have on AO3? 108. I need to add some ficlets to my collection but I've been slacking a bit on that, so.

What’s your total AO3 word count? 274,716

What fandoms do you write for? Star! Gate! At! Lan! Tis! The hyperfixation is strong ok. It's the thing that shook loose my half-decade dormant desire and ability to write, so. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 1. Twenty Questions, 248 kudos 2. Ink and Wings, 221 kudos 3. Five Times Rodney (and John) Visit the Millers, 190 kudos 4. Solitary in a Wide Flat Space, 163 kudos 5. Abercrombie & Rodney, 151 kudos

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I really try to!!! One of the things that was not good about posting all my ficlets onto AO3 in quick succession was ending up with more comments than I could handle, so now I have a...backlog. Getting comments makes me feel so good though, and I just...want to honor the effort made with some of my own in return? Idk, I've talked about this a fair bit in a handful of posts but I'm just really not used to the amount of interaction I get in SGA fandom and I still feel.......very blessed lmao. Bleh sincerity on main how gross

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? We Are Standing On the Edge, a Jin/Kame fic about a road trip and the apocalypse which I wrote for @merionettes in a fic exchange in 2010.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Most of my fics either have happy endings or implied happy endings? I like making good things happen to the characters I love so much. Sometimes after making bad things happen to them, but. At any rate, O I Think We Should Be Brethren is my personal happiest ending because of how long and hard a journey it is to get there.

Do you get hate on fics? I got a hate comment once, on the (in)famous Kanjani Cannibalism Fic.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Do I ever! I like to write kinky sex as a means of exploring and facilitating vulnerability. I also like to write blowjobs.

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I've never written a crossover! ..............I don't think, at least.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I am aware of.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes! A couple of my Johnny's fics have been translated into Russian and Chinese.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Not to completion.

What’s your all time favorite ship? Yokohina, Sakura/Syaoran, McShep...don't make me choose between my children like this??? Sakura/Syaoran literally invented romance for my teenage self, like I am not kidding at how formative of a ship that was for me in my life. Also why I started learning Japanese, so. Yokohina will forever be beloved to me in the same way that Kanjani8 will forever be beloved to me, in a way that is (literally) tattooed into my flesh, in a way that influenced my life massively, in so many aspects. I will never not be thirsty for the two of them saying weirdly romantic things about each other in public forums, for them being the solid foundation upon which their group is built. For Yoko being a pigtail-pulling twelve year old boy towards Hina even as they're in their mid-forties. AND THEN THERE'S FUCKING MCSHEP. A ship that I knew about when it was popular and brushed off as an Any Two White Guys, Migratory Slash Fandom Thing. A ship that, when my wife and I started watching SGA, we said "haha wouldn't it be so funny if we ended up being all in on mcshep?" A ship that resonates in my heart in the most bizarrely intense way and shook loose the desire to write and create from its atrophied place in the back of my head. I love them. I hate them. They're perfect.

What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I have about 25k of a later-years yokohina friends to FWB to lovers fic that I wish I could finish but the McShep brainrot is.........so strong. On the other hand, never say never?

What are your writing strengths? haha so much harder to answer this than weaknesses!!!!!!!!!!!! I think I can write good funny dialogue, which is amazing to me because when I started writing my dialogue was horrendous, just absolutely awful and stilted and I hated writing it so much! like it was a running joke between me and my best friend at the time that I could not write anything that sounded even remotely natural or like real human speech. guess that shows that practice makes perfect or whatever? idk.

What are your writing weaknesses? endings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ensemble casts/scenes with more than two people in them. plots more complex than simple romantic contrivance.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? nah. It always feels a bit fanfiction.net anime fandom to me?

First fandom you wrote for? speaking of fanfiction.net anime fandom....I wrote Sakura/Syaoran angstfic into a notebook when I was 13. The first things that I actually shared with other people were either Harry Potter or the fics I wrote about the boys at my church who were just unnecessarily homoerotic with each other in the way that only teenage church boys can be (iykyk)

Favorite fic you’ve written? guess. 🙃

Tagging: @sga-owns-my-soul @stargayatlantis @hearteyesmcgarrett @texasdreamer01

#i was very honest in my answers to this #which means i might delete it within 24 hours of posting #and also why it took me like three weeks from Phoenix tagging me to actually post it #also while grabbing the link to the cannibalism fic i checked what comments are still there and there's one that cracked me up #when i first got it and now which included the phrase “i don't really like 'murders'”#the quotation marks kill me every time #“murders”

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massharp1971 · 6 months

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20 questions game

thanks for tagging me @logicgunn 1. How many works do you have on AO3?

70 - disappointingly, it's no longer 69

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

709,395

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Stargate Atlantis exclusively at the moment.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Ace

Clear blue skies

Settle

Couldn't order a pizza

Bodyswap

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always. Because comments mean a lot to me. Because I don't tend to comment on fics where the commenter doesn't respond because I assume they're not reading them, and because it just feels plain rude not to.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Like the deserts miss the rain because it's about Rodney in The Last Man and it breaks my heart. It's only 200 words but it hits hard.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I dunno they all end pretty happily cos real life is hard

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Surprisingly no, considering other writers have fared badly for writing main SGA characters as trans but a large chunk of this fandom boycott me/avoid me for being vocally anti-racist and concerned about oppression, which is in some ways very disappointing but it sure keeps my life nice and peaceful not having to deal with bigots.

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes, I write the mushiest kinky smut you'll ever read and I feel like it might be my calling 🤣

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Not really but I did write a Brokeback Mountain fix-it fic with John/Cam instead of Jack/Ennis

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Probably not

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No but would be made up if someone did

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

I'd love to but never have

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

McShep.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

My Untitled Trauma Fic which is full of so much angst I balk at anyone reading it

16. What are your writing strengths?

Smut, probably. Possibly dialogue.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Following the completely arbitrary writing rules amateur writers make up, share on Tumblr, and think are literary commandments. Descriptions, also. I just forget they're needed and go back and am like "but where are they having this conversation and what are they doing whilst they have it, Mas? Hmmm?"

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Wouldn't have the confidence in google translate and don't know any other languages...

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I wrote a novel in my teens that used The Wood Between Worlds from CS Lewis and then I wrote a very silly Fourth Age Orc Reform Group fic once but really SGA got me into this malarkey in my 40s....

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Atlantis Pride - my little declaration of independence when I decided to stop caring about being too queer for this fandom and do what I damn well please.

Tagging: @spacecadetdhdly, @gingerpolyglot, @nimuetheseawitch, @wonkyelk and anyone else. If you like to do these, consider yourself tagged!

#sga #mcshep #fanfic

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loudsnapdragon · 8 months

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it's a sex shop fic.

Buy Local: Steve Harrington's Guide to Modern Sexuality

steve/eddie. mature. 49,000 words, 5/5 chapters. background platonic stobin, nancy/jonathan, and robin/vickie. read on ao3 here, loudsnapdragon.

Amid the crotchless lingerie and silicone dildoes that litter the floor of Hawkins’ worst and best and only Adult Store, Steve undergoes a very short, and not very stressful sexuality crisis; Robin fails to lose her virginity; and Eddie refuses to admit why he doesn’t use Grindr. It’s not what Steve expected out of life, definitely not what Steve's dad expected out of his life either, but Steve’s not complaining, well, not until he ends up locked in the stockroom, with nothing more than a bag of genitalia-shaped candy, and a prudish Eddie Munson to keep him entertained, with their least favourite gun-carrying regular tearing apart the merchandise outside.

‘Co-captain’s log, the time is…’ Steve checks his watch. ‘4:47pm, the date is 06/10/23, we are currently locked-’

‘You cannot be serious.’

Steve snaps his head away from the security camera positioned in the high corner of the stock room, scowling at Eddie, who sits jaw-dropped, eyebrows set in a furious line, legs sprawled out on the floor, his elbows wresting on a cardboard box marked Penis-Enhancer 2000.

‘What else am I going to do? Dude, we just have to wait this out. I pressed the panic button. The police will be here soon. Might as well be productive.’

Outside the stock room, there’s a loud thump, a swooping noise, followed by the quiet woosh of air escaping an inflatable. Steve winces. Unlucky Doris.

Eddie pulls at his hair with both hands, his feet bouncing faster. ‘How is that being productive?’

‘It’s how me and Robin pass on notes, don’t be a dick. Just calm down and shut up.’ He turns back round to the camera. ‘It’s the sixth of October, and we are currently locked inside the stock room…’

There’s another bang from outside the stock room, the sound of Rodney’s muffled cursing, then a shelf falling over, a clattering of small boxes hitting the floor. Steve silently mourns his beautifully organised DVD displays.

Eddie clumsily jumps up onto his long legs, belt chains clanking on the cement floor, knocking over a box of skin rags in the process, starting to pace manically around Steve. ‘We’ve gotta do something! He has a gun.’

Steve shrugs from the floor. ‘It’s just Rodney.’

‘It’s just Rodney? How can you be so chill? He’s tearing your store apart!’

Steve rolls his eyes, giving up on his captain’s log. ‘Dude, this is like the third time this has happened to me. I don’t really care anymore. Ms. Scarlet has insurance, she’ll be fine.’

From the sounds of it, Doris will be the only casualty, which is a shame, Steve had grown quite fond of the inflatable sex doll.