I'm calling this "the grass isn't always greener au" and I'll probably never write it but it was stuck in my head today:
The Clone Wars are over, Palpatine is dead and the galaxy is more at peace than it has been in a lifetime. Anakin is no longer a Jedi. He has been living with Padmé and their children for two years now and everything is fine. Everything is definitely, absolutely fine.
And yet Anakin can't help but feel like he made some kind of mistake in leaving the Order when Padmé told him she was pregnant. He can't regret her or their children. He can't regret the fact that he no longer has to deflect blaster bolts on a daily basis. He can't regret peace.
But he does miss Obi-Wan. The ragged threads of their bond are still present in his mind when he can bring himself to sense them. (And he does, often, like picking at a scab or the empty cavity of a missing tooth. He prods at the empty space, making sure never to go far enough as to make Obi-Wan aware of it. He hasn't seen Obi-Wan in months). He misses having a purpose, a bright shining goal, the feeling of fulfilling his destiny even if the pursuit of that destiny aged him in ways he is still coming to terms with.
He was never the Jedi he should have been but now he is no longer a Jedi at all. And maybe if he had held himself together for just a little longer, he could still be one today.
The Force gives him the chance to find out.
Anakin wakes up in the body of Darth Vader, two years after the fall of the Republic, broken and in pain, fully invested in the power of the dark side.
He flees the Executor as soon as he can. Taking stock of his mechanical limbs, full-body burns, and life support suit, Anakin has no idea where he is or what has happened to him. But this is him, some alternate version of him. When he takes off the helmet and stares into his reflection in transparisteel window of his escape pod, he sees himself. Despite the changes, the burns, the eyes, he recognizes himself.
He seeks out Obi-Wan through the tenuous, broken bond in both of their minds. This may not be his world and this might not be his master, but Anakin knows he could find Obi-Wan anywhere if he allows himself to reach out to that connection again.
Darth Vader appears on Obi-Wan's doorstep on Tatooine, begging for his help. It takes Obi-Wan time to understand what is happening but they sit and talk and everything that happened in the last days of the Republic is slowly revealed. Everything that Anakin did, everything that he became.
They talk for hours, Anakin reveling in Obi-Wan's companionship again, taken aback by how much his master loves him, even this version of him and all that he did, and Obi-Wan nearly brought to tears by the idea of having Anakin back again. What Obi-Wan wouldn't do to sit side by side with Anakin again, to have even the smallest speck of hope that Anakin might come back to him.
By the light of his hearthfire, Obi-Wan asks Anakin to take off his mask, so that he can see his face again. Anakin would do anything for his master but especially this older, sadder version who loves him so desperately and he obliges. Obi-Wan reaches a gentle hand out to stroke Anakin's pock-marked cheek. He presses a kiss to his pale and scarred forehead.
Then Anakin wakes up in bed with his wife, pulled completely from the alternate reality and back in his body again, his eyes wet with tears. Without hesitation, he reaches out to his bond with Obi-Wan and pulls.
Perhaps Anakin didn't make a mistake in choosing peace. But he certainly made one in leaving Obi-Wan behind. And if Obi-Wan's love could survive all of that, it can definitely handle a few years of strained silence and damaged trust.
Anakin races up the steps of the Jedi Temple in early morning sunlight and for the first time in two years, meets his old Master for tea.
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when the fool’s room gets trashed and he says he feels silly for thinking there was such a thing as a safe place in the world. when fitz says that he wished he had a place that reflected him so completely the way the fool’s room reflected him. when both of them are together in the wolf, a place that reflects fitz /and/ is a safe place in the world. i’m going to break a window.
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okay so as it stands right now (unless I find a workaround) under the influence chapter 2 will only be available to be read fully on ao3........
when I tried to post my draft on a side blog to begin formatting, I get a message that says, "only 1,000 blocks are allowed per post"... I didn't know this was the case until now... this issue won't even let me post half of the second chapter, let alone the full thing. even when switching to html and not using the rich text editor, I still receive an error message and cannot post
fret not, I'll still be posting it on tumblr and tagging people! I'll probably include the first 5-10k words or so of the fic on tumblr, but then you will need to click a link to read the rest of the chapter on ao3.
this many words of aki sex is too powerful 😔
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SURPRISE double chapter drop omg two chapters in one week WHO AM I omg i'm so excited about this chapter it's not even funny
Their ten-minute pause quickly turned into hours, and before he knew it, it was almost dawn, and he’d barely slept. He rolled over, flipping to the cold side of the pillow, and buried his face into it, wishing he’d just kept his fucking mouth shut.
Why couldn’t he have just kept his fucking mouth shut?
He pulled himself out of bed and grabbed his trainers.
He needed a proper fucking workout today.
Read now on Ao3
Or start from the beginning
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Starting Monday, I'll be posting my Elucien forbidden romance AU! There are 7 chapters, one for each day of the week, so I thought I'd open up a taglist for anyone that wants to be notified — if you'd like to be added, please leave a comment under this post, reblog or drop me an ask!
You can also find a few snippets for the fic here, here and here 💕
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if din was a woman she’d have a lot harder time calling herself grogu’s mom. because despite the fact that in mandalorian culture being a warrior AND a parent is the greatest achievement, the galaxy as a whole still divides women into two categories, either a stone cold badass or a soft woman. din is neither. she doesn’t want to be a mom but she loves and adores grogu and raises him like her own but she does not identify with Mom or Motherhood because she would feel like that strips away the hardened warrior reputation she’s worked so hard for. like, din in canon already had a difficult time accepting his role as a father in grogu’s life because of his already existing issues😭
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