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kuiinncedes · 3 years

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PROMPT LIST? cheerio!tina & skank!quinn, angst #37, quinntina ofc

yes prompt list!! sorry this took so long, thanks sm for prompting sim <33

some pre-notes: first that wow this got long again 😂 2398 words (before probably some edits in the tumblr post editor) *oops i did it again*

1 2 3 these are my other three (very short) “installments” for this “verse” i guess 🤪 i wouldn’t say it’s required to read them tho i think everything is pretty understandable 🥰

this also got a little anti rachel lol 🥴 and anti schue but like yeah and i think that’s it 😗

Angst 37: “Lie to me. I don’t care what you say, just lie to me. Make me feel okay again.”

Glee club has been going well… all things considered.

Including the fact that Quinn’s crush on Tina only grows, that Rachel Berry still doesn’t seem to warm up to her and Kurt’s presence in the choir room, that the teacher really kind of sucks and apparently only Kurt and Quinn see it, that most of the other members are still wary around them - around Quinn.

But not Tina. Tina, who’s one of the most popular girls in school, not actually head of the Cheerios but probably the most well-liked, and there’s a reason. Tina is the first to welcome her and Kurt to the glee club after their audition, the first to make an effort to befriend them. She talks to Kurt about fashion, and Kurt is hesitant to bring down his facade but Quinn can tell how much he loves it, how much he’s missed talking about something that brings him so much joy. Even with his temporary and purposely limited wardrobe situation, he’s talked Quinn’s ear off about the things he wants to do and wear in New York City; she doesn’t understand much of it so she’s glad Tina does.

And she talks to Quinn. Tina actually talks to Quinn like… like she’s a person, just another student at this school, not Quinn Fabray, half of the most cold and closed-off duo that walks the halls, ex-most popular girl in school, Quinn Fabray with an unspeakable history, unspeakable in that Quinn will have consequences for those who speak about it.

It’s dramatic, she knows. But it’s part of her untouchable image at this piece of shit school with its horrible students.

Not Tina. Tina’s not horrible.

(Get a grip, Fabray.)

It feels like she and Kurt are on the edge of a precipice with glee club. Tina likes them, Blaine is nice enough to them (Kurt seems to like him, too), Rachel isn’t very welcoming, everyone else mostly ignores them. (Which is fine - preferable, really.)

They sway in the back, they sing, they do their part. And Quinn has missed singing, so it’s not all bad, she supposes.

But Quinn can feel the tension, the others’ hesitation whenever she and Kurt walk in to sit in the back, their unspoken thoughts, loud in their silence, their barely hidden glances.

She feels like she’ll tumble from the edge with one push.

One day, Tina sits beside Quinn and she can’t stop her jump of surprise. Tina just shoots her a small smile and moves her chair a bit further away, but Quinn finds herself wishing she would scoot the other way instead.

Tina keeps sitting by Quinn, and Quinn has no idea why.

She ignores the way her heart speeds up a little every time she makes eye contact with Tina, the way Kurt smirks knowingly at her but then returns to staring at the back of Blaine Anderson’s head, the way she can’t stop letting her eyes wander over to Tina every time Mr. Schuester starts talking about something she has no interest in (which she admits is very often).

Kurt had said glee would give her the chance to talk to Tina. And he was right - she’s made conversation with Tina multiple times (mostly initiated by Tina, though), and she would say they’re friends. Tina has said they’re friends and she definitely didn’t freak out to Kurt about it.

Kurt she called me her friend holy shit -

Inside voice, honey. Your gay is showing.

Shut - we’re literally outside. Let’s talk about you and Blaine.

Nope, fuck you, walking away now.

Kurt - wait! She - but she called me her friend - Kurt -

Besides Kurt, Tina is probably the person she’s closest with. Which still doesn’t say much - she’s not close to anyone besides Kurt…

But she wants to be, she thinks as she watches Tina perform an upbeat solo, a song she doesn’t recognize, but she watches her - how alive she looks, how good she sounds. It’s not like Quinn hasn’t heard her sing in the months since she’s joined, but if she had it her way, Tina would be the only one singing in this entire group. (She would insist on highlighting others, though, so Quinn adds herself and Kurt to that list. Not that they would ever get a solo.)

“All right, guys,” Mr. Schuester says. Kurt nudges Quinn with his elbow to get her to pay attention, and she shoots him a half-hearted glare.

“So that was everyone who signed up to audition for a solo at regionals,” he continues. “I’ll let you know who we’re featuring by tomorrow. So I’ll see you then!”

“Who do you think is gonna get it?” Kurt asks as they leave, walking out to the parking lot.

“Um…”

“Right, I forgot, you’re too busy staring at Tina to know what’s going on in glee.”

Quinn scoffs. “I know what’s going on in glee.”

Kurt gives her a questioning look.

“I do! Sure, I didn’t know about the auditions, but I know Rachel’s probably getting the solo, even though it should go to Tina.”

“Anyone could tell you that.”

Quinn shoves Kurt lightly, a smile spreading across her face as they get into his car. Quinn’s been spending more time at Kurt’s lately - Quinn’s parents don’t give a fuck about her - they did the bare minimum allowing her to stay when she was pregnant and they’ve used up all their good parenting cards, it seems. She’s infinitely grateful for Burt Hummel, because if the kids and some of the teachers at school are going to treat her and Kurt like shit, at least there’s someone in their corner.

Completely unsurprisingly, Mr. Schuester announces Rachel as the soloist for regionals the next day, after years of the same thing, from what Quinn has heard.

Surprisingly, Tina isn’t in the room. Although, Quinn thinks, she wouldn’t be either if she knew what the outcome was going to be. And everyone knew what the outcome was going to be.

But Mercedes pushes back against his decision anyway, Santana complains, Blaine and Brittany try to placate, Kurt watches Blaine, Rachel jabbers about her destiny as the New Directions soloist or something, Quinn sits and wonders about the empty chair next to her. (She also wonders what would be the easiest way to get Rachel to shut the fuck up.)

She’s not paying attention, letting everyone’s arguing fade into the background. She barely registers Rachel saying shrilly, “We’re supposed to be a family!”

“Not much of a family when you’re the only one who can have anything good!” Mercedes snaps.

“I bet you wouldn’t react like this if Kurt or Quinn got the solo! Like they would even deserve it! At least I belong here, they don’t even - ”

“Would you shut - ” Mercedes starts at the same time Santana yells back, “Quinn doesn’t need a family, she’s a mother!”

And she knows - Quinn knows - that Santana just does this, she says shit and hurts people and this is just that and it’s whatever but -

Suddenly Quinn is in sophomore year again, hearing the taunts of her classmates behind her back and to her face. Suddenly she’s in sophomore year again, somehow invisible in the halls but also the only person anyone was looking at, pointing at, laughing at. She’s in sophomore year again and teachers do nothing to help her, no one but Kurt bothers to notice anything but the fact that she’s pregnant. And they laugh, and they taunt, and they stare.

She’s a mother.

There it is. There’s the edge of the cliff that she has been fighting for balance on in this stupid club for months.

Like they would even deserve it.

They don’t belong here.

And Quinn’s falling.

“I need to go, meet you at your car,” she says roughly to Kurt, who it seems hasn’t been paying attention at all, more focused on committing to memory the details of Blaine Anderson from halfway across the room. Quinn storms out and the arguing continues behind her.

Quinn slams the door to the bathroom as she barges in and all at once, sees that Tina is here (Tina is here?), realizes that she herself is crying, trying not to make noise and she just throws her bag on the floor and sinks down against a wall, hands around her knees and head leaned back. It’s too fucking much.

“Quinn?” Tina asks gently, so gently and Quinn watches as Tina kneels down in front of her. “Are you okay?”

Quinn wipes at her face, laughing harshly. “Yeah. Fine.”

Tina looks at her, not moving but just watching her. Quinn thinks it must be uncomfortable for her to kneel on the bathroom floor in her Cheerios outfit. Quinn thinks that Tina shouldn’t care about her, she should just leave, save her knees from the cold tile.

She doesn’t leave.

After a moment, Tina says, “Hey, so, you don’t have to tell me anything… but I’m here if you need to.”

Quinn’s not actively crying anymore, grey smudges on her fingers where her makeup was wiped off. Her face probably looks like a nightmare, but she’s too exhausted to care. She leans her head back again and fixes her gaze just above Tina’s head, at the ceiling, the harsh bathroom lights piercing her vision through the tears in her eyes.

“I just - ” I guess I’m talking, she thinks, “Santana said something dumb about me being a mother and that’s what I heard sneered at me every day for months and even now still… and I’m not…”

Quinn trails off, looking at Tina again who nods, encouraging her to continue. She swallows and averts her gaze again.

“…and Rachel said something dumb about Kurt and I not belonging and not deserving it but she’s Rachel and I don’t care about the shit she says - I usually don’t. But her saying that - ” she scoffs. “Newsflash, Rachel, we don’t fucking belong anywhere.”

That was painfully made obvious sophomore year, with Quinn’s exit from the Cheerios, from popularity. It was obvious when no matter what, she couldn’t get it back, any of it. It was obvious when she and Kurt were the only ones to really notice each other and help each other. It was obvious when the only choice they had, the one they took, was becoming this and isolating themselves. It was obvious when the only chance they had was each other.

As if she needs someone else to tell her that, to rub it in.

It’s been building up, she realizes, this feeling, the hatred, the estrangement and isolation. She wonders if Kurt feels the same, how close he is to the edge, or if he’s even on a precipice like she is at all.

Quinn’s falling, she doesn’t know when or how it will end and she just wants -

“Lie to me,” she says to Tina, teeth clenched and voice tired. “I don’t care what you say, just lie to me. Make me feel okay again.”

Falling, falling, falling -

Quinn thinks bitterly that she should be used to it after her falls from popularity.

Tina takes her hands gently and squeezes them in reassurance. “I know this might just seem like words, and I’m not lying - you do belong. Both of you. You belong in glee club. You belong here.”

Quinn just swallows again, letting the words wash over her, and in the back of her mind, the part that’s not thinking about - everything, she marvels at the fact that Tina is holding her hands, and Tina’s skin is soft, and Tina’s words and actions feel genuine.

Falling… slowing.

Lie to me.

“We don’t belong. Everyone hates us,” Quinn mutters.

“I don’t,” Tina says, smiling a little. “I know we can be pretty difficult, the glee club, but we really don’t think that. Rachel might - if I’m being honest, I think she’s the one who doesn’t belong in glee club, for a multitude of reasons - but it really is supposed to be a safe, welcoming space. I’m really sorry we haven’t been able to do that for you.”

Quinn shrugs. “You have,” she admits softly.

Tina looks like she doesn’t know what to say to that. Quinn pushes herself up against the wall, a little awkwardly, hands still intertwined with Tina’s, who squeezes again. “I’ll talk to her,” Tina says. “Rachel. I’ve been getting fed up with her shit, anyway. I’ve been needing to talk to her.”

“Okay,” is all Quinn can think to say, quietly uttered, her voice a little choked. “You don’t have to - ”

“No, I do,” Tina says. “And I want to. Mr. Schue lets her get away with way too much.”

Quinn huffs a laugh and Tina grins slightly, then withdraws her hands and pulls them through her ponytail, suddenly looking almost nervous. Quinn drops her hands in her lap and plays with her rings. Now that Quinn’s calmed down, her proximity-to-Tina-Cohen-Chang-induced nerves are back in full force.

And maybe she isn’t falling anymore.

“Why weren’t you there today?” she asks after a moment.

Tina’s lips clench into a line. “Knew Rachel was getting the solo. I don’t know, I didn’t want to deal with that today, you know? Three years of the same shit, I’m just tired of it.”

Quinn hums in understanding. She can imagine.

“Are you okay? What do you say we… get out of here? Go somewhere?” Tina asks a little awkwardly, wincing slightly as she stands up and extends a hand for Quinn. She takes it and lets Tina pull her up.

“I’m actually… going home with Kurt, ” - but going somewhere with Tina - Kurt will understand - “actually, yeah, sure. I’ll let him know,” Quinn answers, not letting herself doubt the decision, pulling her phone from her pocket and quickly typing out a text and sending it to Kurt, who immediately responds.

omg did u actually talk and get a date with tina cohen chang

Quinn replies, fuck you, i’m leaving bye

are you okay?

yeah, fine i’ll talk to you later

ok have fun on your date ;)

yeah 🖕

Tina bounces a little and shoots her a smile when she puts her phone away. “Awesome. There’s this coffee shop that I think you’ll love - ”

“It’s not the Lima Bean, is it?”

Tina laughs. “Of course not. Barely anyone knows about this place, at least from school, so I really love it there.”

Tina grabs Quinn’s hand again and they head out of the school, Quinn ignoring how she can feel her pounding heartbeat against Tina’s skin. Hopefully Tina doesn’t notice.

*****

some notes for after 🤪

ok so i don’t really know why i used the “she’s a mother” line and idk if i’m just overthinking it but i’m not saying that scene was bad or anything ?? idk lol it was just on my mind i guess so i put it in slkdgfj (basically,, not related to the canon scene lol i just like adding canon lines 😗)

i think the point i was trying to make if any was that quinn doesn’t really have any family (in this au) so yeah it’s kind of a sensitive point

i did say this was very similar to my previous werewolf!quinn and vampire!tina fic but i’m okay with it now tbh,,, you know like it’s an alternate universe and they just help each other in all universes :’) yeah

i would love to continue this but i don’t have the best track record with that lol so we’ll see 😂

#quinntina #glee #glee fic #my ficsssss #prompt fills :))#no one: me while writing this (and the vampire werewolf one): kuinn kuinn kuinn kuinn kuinn #kuinn isn't even like my favorite friendship lmao why haven't i written kurtcedses dlkfsdjgkfj #i feel like other people who take forever to answer fic prompts do so bc they're working on it the entire time #whereas i just wrote this in the span of like an afternoon and evening and i'm posting it askldgjkhsdjf #i also keep thinking about how it's so fun to write quinntina ??? it was so hard to think of things for the two klaine prompts i got #and i ended up just going canon mostly #but with quinntina i'm just making shit up 😈 idk lol it's great #mostly thinking about that bc my two klaine fills were like 500 words or less ?? i don't remember #and this is my second 2k+ word fic for a quinntina fill aksdfjkgdjsf anyway #ugh i had stuff i wanted to say but i'm lazy so that's it lol #*screams and hits post* a;sldhgfkaldjsfgk #oh shit forgot to tag #asks #porcelain-nightbird #<3 #hell yeah i got one more prompt to do lol

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chooseyouovereveryone · 3 years

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Brittana Analysis Part 2: Musical Choices (Smaller Parts in Songs)

Continuing on the Brittana Music Analysis. Part 1 focuses on all of their main songs, but thought it would be good to also mention some of the smaller ones too, their parts in group numbers etc.

So here goes:

Do You Wanna Touch and Touch a Touch a Touch a Touch Me refers to their sexual relationship, back in the days when Santana would only label it as so, and no feelings were allowed.

My Cup, the whole damn song. No explanation needed.

Light Up The World is one of the most meaningful smaller parts for me, because the lyrics are just perfect for them. Santana singing "you and me keep on dancing in the dark, it's been tearing me apart, never knowing what we are etc." is absolutely the Brittana relationship at that point in the series from her perspective. Then we have Brittany singing all about "throw your doubts away", while Artie takes the other line, showing the love triangle dynamic between the three of them. Since this is an original song, I head canon that Santana wrote this part of the song.

Run The World (Girls) is mainly a Brittany solo in line with her presidential campaign, but it's interesting to me that they have Santana sing the "you'll do anything for me" line. Since this song is about Brittany, it's likely Santana is meaning that about her, in that she's acknowledging Brittany will do anything for her. A nice touch because I already touched on in the previous post how Songbird shows Santana implying she'd give Brittany the world. It seems they are both mutual in that aspect.

Rumour Has It/Someone Like You sang in the aftermath of Santana finding out she's been outed, with Brittany and Santana both sharing such a powerful moment together in this song. The transition from Santana singing about finding a girl to her spinning around to look at this girl she's found is such a pivotal moment for them and really well done imo. You can clearly see Santana's fear during this performance, Brittany's too (she too is about to be consequentially outed but I feel her fear is more for Santana than for her own sake), but that moment they share is almost like Santana draws the strength from Brittany. The world is about to find out her secret, but in the same breath her "dreams came true" (as it says in the lyrics) and she's happy with Brittany, so maybe (just maybe) it will all be okay in the end. And guess what Santana? It was.

Constant Craving is mainly about Santana's journey to acceptance, but notice how Santana looks at Brittany when she sings "even through the darkest phase, be it thick or thin, always someone marches brave, here beneath my skin", as if Brittany's own bravery during those hard times gave Santana strength and courage. It's also plausible to say that Brittany was a "constant craving" for Santana.

The First Time implies that Santana felt deeper feelings from the first time she hooked up with Brittany, even though she couldn't accept that at the time. This is later backed up when she admits in 4x04 that she had feelings in Sophomore Year so right back in S1 when they potentially started sleeping together (if not before). While it's obvious what Santana is reflecting on since she sings about "the first time ever I lay with you", it's uncertain whether the flashback scene is from the first time they met or their first hook up, but regardless we see that instant attraction and spark between them from both the scene and the lyrics.

Take My Breath Away and Love You Like A Love Song; the prom songs. Take My Breath Away is pretty self explanatory because the whole song is a love song, and Santana makes sure to sing part of this to Brittany and they share a moment together. Love You Like A Love Song is even more poignant because it's a Santana solo, so it's likely she picked the song. She picked a song all about her girlfriend, but she made sure to pick a current song. That way, in true private Santana fashion, she could pass it off as it just being a crowd pleasing song that everyone loves at the moment. But she does make sure to turn to Brittany and sing to her "constantly, girl you play through my mind like a symphony". Hello lyric change from boy to girl as well, which Brittana always do in their songs with/about each other.

So Emotional while being a duet that symbolises the Pezberry friendship, both Santana and Rachel are singing to their respective partners. They both run over to them for the "I get so emotional baby" part, and although they turn to point at each other for the "every time I think of you" bit, I feel this was just for performance purposes. It's more realistic for Santana to be singing that about Britt, and likewise Rachel with Finn. Santana also points at Brittany for the "I keep your photograph beside my bed" and although we don't know if Santana actually does have a photo of Britt beside her bed, we know that Brittany definitely has one of Santana.

You Get What You Give is naturally an emotional number for them since Santana is having to leave Brittany behind when she should have been graduating with her. Santana runs over to Brittany for the "don't let go" part which could relate to their relationship and not letting go of that despite the obstacles and distance they are ultimately about to face. The "one dance left" part is also significant.

The Scientist has two meanings for me when it comes to Santana's lines when she's singing "Nobody said it was easy etc." in that nobody said that long distance relationships were easy, as well as nobody said that breaking up with Brittany was the easiest choice either. The mature choice, but not the easy one.

There Are Worse Things I Could Do is something Santana merely has to sing in character as Rizzo, but it's clear that she is thinking about Brittany when she sings "but to cry in front of you, that's the worst thing I could do". This off the back of Brittany telling Santana to think of something really emotional to get in character aka. them not being together anymore. It references how Santana could be the one putting on a tough front (Brittany being the one to be more expressive with her feelings in telling Santana how much she misses her and how she wants them to get back together), but deep down her feelings are evident. She clearly misses and loves Brittany, she's just trying her hardest not to show it, because once she gives in that to vulnerability she knows there's no way back.

Toxic the unholy trinity version was rehashed since it was a past performance of theirs, but contextually I do think about the fact they picked that particular number since it was a group song rather than them redoing a performance that just the three of them did. Since Santana is most probably the one who picks the song with it being her idea, it's telling to me that she picks to do a sexually charged routine with the lyrics "I'm addicted to you" etc. It's almost like she wanted to do this sort of routine with Brittany, but uses the guise of Quinn to make it more subtle. As it's also a song about falling for someone dangerously and "it's getting late to give you up", it foreshadows the temptation Santana encounters later when Brittany kisses her and lays everything on the line, even though Santana has a girlfriend. We later see she chooses Brittany, so this could link to the song.

Problem, well the "every time you touch me, and say you love me" line that they sing to each other is pretty self explanatory, but Brittany also sings "cause even though I shouldn't want it, I gotta have it, I want you" which could relate back to their earlier days when Brittany was the one chasing Santana, but could also have a double meaning of Brittany referring to Santana being the one who used to tell her she shouldn't want it, and almost teasing her with that. The playful manner in which they dance to this line, and the wink from Brittany, could be them showing us how far they've come in that the fear of "I shouldn't want it" was very much real for them both at one point, and now no longer is.

Home I think is really poignant for them because that whole performance takes them back to the beginning in their relationship in terms of Santana being homecoming royalty with Puck, and having to revisit all of that. I talk more about it here and how all their S6 scenes paralleled earlier scenes. In this song they sing "man oh man you're my best friend", which links to that whole "going back to the start thing" in showing how it all began, since best friends is how they started out. It's also how they've always remained throughout their relationship and even during their break up, and something they've always said to each other first and foremost, and I believe at times they said this when they weren't brave enough to say I love you (Santana in 2x22) or when they were restricted in saying it (4x13 when they clearly still loved each other but Brittany was with Sam).

You Learn/You've Got A Friend is actually one of my fav Glee performances, and I think the Brittana moment in this is super sweet and underrated. I always love how as soon as Santana walks in, Brittany gets straight up to join her and stand by her side. She can't get to her fast enough. Lyrically, their lines fit this because Santana sings "close your eyes and think of me, and soon I will be there" on her own, and it's almost as if Brittany was sitting and thinking about her since they are apart, but as she thought of her, Santana appeared. They then begin singing together about brightening up even the darkest nights for each other, something that I'm sure they've both done a lot of. The way they sing that line when they are reunited (not that I think they were apart for very long haha) is almost as if being around each other brightens up everything. The whole song is obviously about living, loving and learning, something they've definitely had experience of all 3 of, and they make reference to that in their gestures throughout the song.

At Last is one that I'm going to talk about since they picked it as their wedding song. It's also one that doesn't need much analysis. It was a very fitting song for them, because even though they got married young, their relationship was still very "at last", this is where we are. It took them so long to get there. Santana's denial, the love triangle with Artie, the grey area of not labelling things even though they were already acting like they were dating, the pain of Santana's outing, the long-distance, the break up, Sam, MIT, Dani, Santana being scared to get back with Brittany at first. But it's kinda like what Brittany says in their vows, she would have suffered it all just for the tiny chance of marrying Santana, and undoubtedly Santana would "1000 times yes" do the same. "At last the lonely days were gone", and they got their happy ending. I also really like the lyric "And life is like a song" because it could relate back to Songbird "and the songbirds are singing like they know the score". This on makes my heart happy, it was the perfect choice for them ❤️

Hey Ya! & last but not least I couldn't not talk about their other wedding song choice, Hey Ya! This is a pretty typical song to play at weddings, gets everyone up dancing, it's feel good etc. That's probably the reason that Brittany and Santana picked it (also fitting with what I said about them keeping private mushy moments to themselves and picking a more up beat first dance song that everyone can join in for the actual wedding). But the writers obviously picked it as a nod to Heather and Naya with it being their final episode, and to humour the Heya fandom.

& that's a wrap :) Might have missed some, but off the top of my head this is what I've got!

#brittana #brittany and santana #glee brittany #glee brittana #brittany pierce #brittanypierce #brittany s.pierce #santana and brittany #glee santana #santana lopez #santanalopez #brittana analysis #brittanalysis #glee songs #brittana songs #glee analysis

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roryslade · 4 years

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The day leading up to auditions, Rory was a wreck. Scrambling together what song to sing, what she should wear, how she should do her hair. Should she look a little beachy? Maybe wear some blue? Or was that too much? Or would it be perfect to tap into the Mamma Mia aesthetic? Whatever, it wasn’t that important. What was important was her audition. The moment auditions had been announced she knew exactly what song she was going to sing and who she was going to audition for. That was until Ivy St. James made a public announcement about how she was going to audition for Sophie. It wasn’t even fair, Rory was the one who was Amanda Seyfried reincarnated. Why did Ivy have to go after everything Rory wanted?

There was no better role for Rory Slade than Sophie Sheridan. A young girl who only wants to find her father so she can have him walk her down the aisle because she’s always spent her life wondering and wishing for him to walk through the door at any moment? It was so much material that Rory could pull from her own life experience. What the blonde would give just to meet her dad. Sure, he was probably just some lowlife who dipped when things got hard but there was a part of her that yearned to know why he walked out before she was born and if Rory knew anything about show business it was that you had to tap into that raw emotion for the character and Rory had plenty of that to give.

As she walked into the high school, it seemed so surreal to be in the school during summer. It was hot and stuffy, clearly the school board trying to save money throughout the summer. As she approached the auditorium, she read the ‘auditions in progress’ sign that was taped firmly to the door. She had signed up for a 3:30 time slot and just as she looked down at her phone she saw 3:29pm on her lock screen. “You can do this,” she whispered to herself, rocking on the balls of her feet swallowing any nerves she had.

She entered the auditorium and made her way up the stage, the sounds of her flat cladded feet echoing throughout the quiet auditorium as she made her way up the steps, finally landing where a microphone was placed in center stage and a single spotlight on her (something she had asked for beforehand with the help of Leo McCarthy). When the harsh light flashed on her, she blinked for a moment to collect her eyesight and then focused her gaze into the seats, giving a bright smile to the directors. “Hello, I’m Aurora Slade and I will be singing Never Enough originated by Loren Allred from the seminal 2017 biographical movie musical, The Greatest Showman. Enjoy,” she bowed her head and was ready to get her music started when she heard Leo speak from the directors' table. “And what role will you be auditioning for?” Rory whipped her head back around and noticed it was Leo who had asked the question.

Sophie Sheridan. “Uh, I would personally be happy with any role you deem fit,” she nodded, breathing into the microphone. She knew if she admitted the actual role she wanted to play that it wouldn’t take long for news to travel to Ivy so she’d take the loss for now and just hope and pray that the directors saw Sophie’s quality in Rory’s performance. Breathing out a sigh to shake out any last-minute nerves, she motioned for the band from glee club to begin the music and as soon as it started she felt like all of her nerves were swept away.

Rory had raw talent, that was undeniable and as soon as she got in the first warm breathy lyrics of I'm trying to hold my breath, it was already painfully clear that the girl had a voice and she knew how to use it despite never having any actual training aside from being in glee. She got through the first verse with ease, that was the easy part when it came to singing that song. Keeping her voice soft and controlled, it was barely a moment longer when she was getting to the belting parts of the song. That would be the hard part but Rory was known for being a belter so if anyone could do it, it was her.

“Never enough,” Rory belted out, closing her eyes as she pushed out her hands almost in a jazz finger position. When she chose this song, she didn’t really process how much it reflected her own life. Never enough to beat Ivy. Never enough to have a dad. Never enough to be someone’s girlfriend. Even though the song seemed romantic and powerful, Rory felt like it symbolized more to her. She had enough things in the world; a great family, a good group of friends, a talented soul. She had so much, but it wasn’t enough to fill the little gaps in her young teen heart.

She wrapped her hands around to clutch in front of her chest. “All the shine of a thousand spotlights,” she sang. This was getting kind of emotional. It’s what she learned in glee, to play up on those emotions, but the more she sang the less fake those emotions were. As she wrapped up the song, finishing off that final belt perfectly with no quiver in her voice, there it was: a single tear. Don’t be a drama queen, she told herself. A tear was fine, but Rory was not about to give waterworks after a performance, she just wouldn’t.

Wiping the tear away, she gave a chipper smile to the directors to show that it was all acting and went on to her monologue. Since she chose a song that wasn’t from the musical, like most of her peers, she decided to focus her acting and dancing portion on the actual musical. For her monologue, she chose the scene where Sophie gets upset with Donna when Donna says that Sophie could call off the wedding. The monologue was the easiest part for Rory because it was just acting. That was the easiest simply because she felt that music showed more soul. Anyone could yell on a stage.

Once she moved on to her dancing portion, she chose a dance combo to Dancing Queen, a choreographed routine she had found on YouTube, and decided to copy. She wasn’t the best dancer but she did the routine with enough confidence and power to make it look like she owned that routine. That was the important part when dancing. No one would notice if you messed up as long as you still had a smile on your face and the confidence to get through the routine and that’s exactly what Rory did.

When she finished, Rory moved back over to the microphone to thank the directors for their time and then she moved down the steps and out of the auditorium, basically running out of the high school with glee. No pun intended.

#wmhs:musical #wmhs:mamma mia

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shipmistress9 · 5 years

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FTLOAP: Chapter 44: Love Is A Shield To Hide Behind

Fandom: HTTYD

Theme: Hiccstrid - Medieval-style AU - Romance - Angst/Hurt/Comfort

Summary: Reduced to little more than a stable boy, Hiccup, despite his noble birth, has few prospects for more in life. But when he meets a girl who came to look at the horses, being a stable boy might not be enough anymore. Together, they have tough choices to make and great risks to navigate if they want to survive and be together.

Rating: Explicit

FF-net - AO3 -

Discord-server for discussions and questions

Part 1: Prologue; Chapter 1; Chapter 2; Chapter 3; Chapter 4; Chapter 5; Chapter 6; Chapter 7; Chapter 8; Chapter 9; Chapter 10; Chapter 11;

Part 2: Chapter 12; Chapter 13; Chapter 14; Interlude 1; Chapter 15; Chapter 16; Chapter 17; Chapter 18; Chapter 19; Chapter 20; Chapter 21; Chapter 22; Chapter 23; Chapter 24; Chapter 25; Chapter 26; Interlude 2; Chapter 27: Chapter 28 ; Chapter 29 ; Chapter 30; Chapter 31; Chapter 32; Interlude 3; Bonus 1; Chapter 33

Part 3: Chapter 34; Chapter 35; Chapter 36; Interlude 4; Chapter 37; Chapter 38; Chapter 39; Chapter 40; Interlude 5; Chapter 41; Chapter 42; Chapter 43

Alpha/Co-author: @athingofvikings

. – * – _ . o O o . _ – * – .

AN: Ah, here we finally are with the new chapter. Again sorry that I couldn't update last week, but well... Life...

Anyway, a huge THANK YOU to you all and your congratulations on my pregnancy! I really didn't expect that strong a response and it completely overwhelmed me. But also on this point and maybe to soothe some worries: this is already my third pregnancy; I already have to kids at the age of 6 and 8. So this isn't my first and I already have a good idea of what awaits me once the baby is there. Yes, I'm probably going to have even less time and nerves to write for a while. But I picked writing as a hobby because of my kids. Because it gives me the chance to be something else than just a mother all day. So I definitely won't stop writing! :)

And also: Another BIG Thank you to @ mintyfreshness ,@hey-its-laura-again ,@tally21112 ,@oneleggeddork , @thepixiedustfactory , @heathenvampires ,@haddocktree and @angelstar1st for your support and your kind words a little while ago. I still struggle with those same issues, but thanks to you all, I’m doing a lot better now. :)

In this chapter now, things happen that have been planned for ages again, and I'm really excited that we've reached this point by now.

This chapter's title comes from 'Love Is A Shield' by Camouflage. It wasn't a title I'd decided on before and for a while, I actually struggled with how to name this chapter. But when I heard the song on the radio a few days back, it all clicked into place and afterwards, the chapter went through some heavy editing again. xD But I really like how it turned out now.

Furthermore on the topic music: I also stumbled across the song 'Brother' by Kodaline (again, I should add. I know that I've heard it before). And I feel like it's the perfect song to describe our Chaos Squad.

. o O o .

Only slowly, awareness seeped back into Astrid’s mind as she woke. She was someplace soft, with someone holding her, and a familiar scent in her nose. Denial almost rose in her, but then the memories of the previous night came back as well. She wasn’t dreaming that she was in Hiccup’s arms, his warmth seeping into her, his shallow breathing ruffling her hair.

With a sigh, she turned in his arms and cuddled closer against his chest, basking in his closeness. Everything would be okay. These horrible two weeks of separation were over, and from now on, they wouldn’t let go of each other ever again. She didn’t know how they’d manage that yet and last night’s discussion hadn’t brought up anything either, as far as she’d noticed at least. But she just knew that it would work out. Everything else was unacceptable.

For a short while, Astrid just watched him sleep. It was something she’d rarely seen before, with how they’d usually been equally exhausted when falling asleep and in a hurry when they’d woken up. But now, she had the time to really look at him, the light of early dawn falling through the window. He looked so peaceful and soft, as if nothing could bother him, and she wasn’t able to put into words how… how soothing that sight was. There had been so much pain and hurt and desperation on his face lately, so much sorrow – but now, it was all gone.

Unable to hold back, she reached up and brushed a strand of his unruly hair out of his face. At her touch, Hiccup stirred with a soft grunt. His arms around her tightened as if on reflex, before he slowly opened his eyes, his lips stretching into a warm smile at her sight.

“Good morning,” he mumbled, blinking a few times before his eyes were truly able to focus and his mind seemed to clear a little. “So last night wasn’t a dream after all. Or am I still dreaming?”

Chuckling, Astrid shook her head. “No, you’re not,” she murmured back and caressed his face to prove that she was real.

His smile widened and he leaned closer to place a soft kiss on her forehead. Astrid closed her eyes, humming at the intimate gesture, before she stretched to seek his lips with her own. When they kissed, it was calm and reassuring, his hand eventually roaming upwards to cradle her face. Smiling against his lips, she basked in the familiar touch, content in the perfection of this moment.

But just like every moment, it had to end eventually.

Too soon, a knock sounded from the door before it carefully got pushed open and Rachel poked her head inside. “Milady, it’s time,” she said in a low but urgent voice. “It won’t be long now before the rest of the castle wakes up.”

Astrid didn’t want to go, but she understood why it was necessary. Reluctantly, she peeled herself out of the nest of blankets and limbs she and Hiccup had slept in. It didn’t take her too long to get ready to leave, despite frequently getting distracted by his hands on her arms or his lips on her skin. And if Ruff minded the delay, she didn’t say anything for which Astrid was incredibly grateful.

“When can we meet like this again?” she eventually asked as they were about to leave, unsure whether she’d meant to ask Hiccup or Ruff. Since Hiccup could only shrug with a somewhat insecure expression, it was Ruff who answered after a short pause.

“Dagur and Eret suggested to meet again in two or three nights; we all need rest tonight and also need time to think or look up other options. And don’t look at me like that, young lady,” she added when Astrid’s face fell, “I know perfectly well that you can’t wait to get under his clothes again.” With a sly smirk, she glanced from her to Hiccup and back again. “I mean, I know that we won’t be able to keep you apart. But after all the sneaking through the castle you already did, I’d rather you’re meeting somewhere safe from now on. Tuff and I are looking into options there. The easiest would probably be to sneak him,” she nodded at Hiccup who had a somewhat stony expression on his face, ”into your rooms. Nobody goes into your bedroom without my say-so anyway.”

“And what if someone does?” Hiccup asked.

“Well, there’s space under the bed. I’ll knock and give you time to hide, and sneak you out later.”

Tuff snorted from outside the room. “Putting the cart before the horse, sis. How do you plan to get him in there in the first place?”

“I have an idea. But no promises for tonight,” Ruff rebutted.

Astrid nodded, trying to express her gratefulness, even as waiting for another day or two felt like an eternity. But at least she would be able to spend more time in Hiccup’s arms again. That was all that mattered. She turned to Hiccup again and stretched to give him a hurried kiss goodbye, giggling at the contrast of his soft lips and the rough scraping of his stubbles.

His hands held her tight though, unwilling to let her go just yet. “See you later,” he rasped into her ear, his fingers at her waist twitching.

Again, Astrid nodded as she retreated enough to look at him, her fingers raised to trace his lower lip. “Yes, later,” she breathed before she retreated for good.

Later meant today’s tournament. They wouldn’t be able to interact in any meaningful way, but at least they would see each other. That – and the memories of this wonderful and peaceful morning – would have to be enough for now.

. o O o .

Yes, she was certain that, eventually, she would need the reminder of waking up in Hiccup’s arms to cheer herself up. But for a while, everything was fine. After Ruff had escorted her back into her rooms, she’d lain down to get a little more sleep, before she was to meet everyone for breakfast again.

“I can’t believe how much your mood improved,” Tuff muttered as they walked down the corridors and stairs, her steps lighter than she’d felt in a very long time. “I mean, it’s not as if you’ve actually found a solution to your problem yet.”

He spoke quietly so as not to risk anyone overhearing them, and Astrid replied in the same manner. “Oh, I know we haven’t yet. But I’m positive that we will find one eventually.” Despite Eret’s warning and Hiccup’s reluctance, she hadn’t yet ruled out simply running away. Maybe Eret was right and they would have to somehow prepare their disappearance – somehow avert all the consequences he’d painted out – but that would certainly be manageable… somehow. Either way, she would not let anything come between her and Hiccup ever again, would trust in their love and in the certainty that it would overcome everything. Besides, it wasn’t as if she was important. She wasn’t the heir to the throne, the one who would have to lead the Kingdom one day. No, she was only the spare, nothing less – but also nothing more.

With something of a fond snort, Tuff shook his head but didn’t comment further. They’d almost reached the breakfast room by now, and from some side corridor in front of them, hissed voices could be heard. Curiously, Astrid threw a glance in that direction as they passed the opening and was surprised to spot Snot and his father standing a little distance away. From the way Spitelout towered over his son and Snot’s stony expression, it looked like a scolding. The sight surprised her, but Astrid quickly averted her gaze and hurried on. What happened between Snot and his father wasn’t her business. Although… maybe, if Snot’s behaviour really had returned to that of her joking and funny brother, she’d ask him about it later.

With the truest smile in what felt like ages, she entered the breakfast room and found everyone else already in their seats. After cheerfully greeting the assembled men, she took her seat next to Eret, and gladly accepted the bread roll, butter, and honey as he handed her one after the other. It wasn’t that much different from how he’d usually behaved, but she was aware of the fond smiles the older men threw them, of how their interactions would look to them. When she tore into her food with gusto – not even remembering when she’d last eaten, much less when she’d enjoyed eating anything – it even earned her some low but friendly chuckling from the end of the table where her father and the Grand Dukes sat. But she didn’t pay them any attention either. Of course, they thought her good mood originated from Eret, and for now, Astrid was happy to keep it that way. Well… it wasn’t her fault when they drew the wrong conclusions, was it? It meant that nobody would pay Hiccup any mind, that he was safe.

Thinking about him made her smile even brighter, remembering how she’d spend this night, short as it was, safely encased in his arms. She really hoped Ruff’s idea to get them more nights like this together again would work. She couldn’t wait to go back to him, his warmth, the soothing reassurance that they wouldn’t part again. And, to be honest, she also couldn’t wait to feel him again, his hands and lips on her skin, searching and exploring, pouring heat and pleasure into her body until she couldn’t take any more. She didn’t fool herself, knew that they would need a little time to reconnect to that part of their relationship – not to mention the mortifying realisation about how Tuff must have overheard them in the past and how she wouldn’t want to risk that again. But all that were questions for later.

“I’m glad to see you smile like this again, Astrid,” came her father’s voice, tearing her out of her daydreaming. “Up until yesterday, I was truly worried about you.”

His words made her grimace, which she quickly hid behind taking a sip of her tea. Yesterday… The ride… Markor… Her heart stuttered painfully at the reminder, but she quickly fought down the pain and instead retrieved the happy memory of her morning with Hiccup, of his kisses and caresses, his smile. She even preferred thinking about the awkward ride back to the castle, about how much easier that could have been if only she’d given in to the urge to lean back against him and let his closeness comfort her.

The distraction helped her focus again. With everything else that happened, she didn’t yet have time to truly mourn Markor’s death, the loss like a bitter taste in the back of her throat now. But now was not the right time either.

With a bit of effort and Eret nudging her beneath the table, she managed to smile back at her father and reassure him that she felt much better than yesterday too. Which was true in its own way. And… she had to admit to herself that lying to her father didn’t bother her as much as it used to. Deep down in her heart, she understood that he hadn’t meant to hurt her. But that didn’t mean that she was yet ready to forgive him or forget about it.

After this small exchange, the breakfast continued uneventful for another couple of minutes, until the door opened again and Snot and his father entered the room.

“Good morning, everyone,” Spite greeted them as they looked up, a tired smile on his face. ”I apologise for the delay; looks like I slept in. Though, after last night, I don’t think you can blame me.” He laughed, followed by consenting chuckling from all around the table.

Astrid, however, frowned. Why was he lying? Her eyes wandered to Snotlout behind his father; his expression was plain, not showing any reaction, not as they walked along the table and not as he took his seat next to her.

Well, maybe Uncle Spite was just being lenient, she mused as she reached for another roll. Whatever he’d scolded Snot for, there probably was no reason to expatiate on that here in front of everyone again.

Her gaze glided over the table, trying to decide what to put on her roll this time, when Snot all of a sudden held out a pot filled with red jam to her.

“Here, I recommend you try this,” he said with a smile that was too smooth for her taste. “It only arrived last week with a merchant. The berries used for this only grow in the higher regions of Westhill and are considered a delicacy.”

Astrid took the pot, even if a little hesitant. The jam smelled delicious, sweet with a slightly tart note in it, and she wasn’t averse to giving it a try. However, what bothered her was the way Snot was again advertising his home – and thus himself – with this recommendation. Was he still trying to flirt with her? She’d thought that, after last night, he’d given up, that she’d made it clear that she wouldn’t choose him. But apparently, she’d been wrong…

The jam was as tasty as it smelled, and with a tense smile, she thanked Snot, but then directly turned toward Eret on her other side, engaging him in some Smalltalk or other. Hopefully, Snot would eventually stop these fruitless advances. Last night, she’d been happy to have him back as simply her brother, but that seemed to have been a little premature.

. o O o .

The tournament that day was a good opportunity to talk to Eret in relative privacy. Though talking about any sensitive topics in her open pavilion still wouldn’t be prudent, and even though Astrid wished she could also invite Dagur and Hiccup, she couldn’t do that without it seeming odd. So instead, she brought up another topic, hoping to get some clarification from Eret. But it seemed as if he was just as bewildered by their brother’s behaviour as she was.

“I don’t really know what’s up with Snot either,” Eret said with a shrug. “He hasn’t really talked to either of us since all this started, and only runs around in a bad mood all the time. He’s not his usual self.”

Astrid nodded, noticing the deep-seated confusion on Eret’s face. Apparently, Snot’s behaviour didn’t make any sense to him either and was possibly even more confusing to him. She knew that the boys had always been a tight group; Snot not talking to anyone these days was just weird.

“I just don’t get it,” she eventually sighed. “I didn’t have the impression that he was in love with me, not like that. There never were any indications, were there?”

Eret shook his head, though hesitantly. “I… don’t think so. But from what I’ve got, he hasn’t flirted with a single woman except for you these past two weeks – which is odd as you have to admit. And even though I can’t believe I’m actually saying this, it almost seems as if he’s serious about wanting to marry you, for… for better reasons than mine or Dagur’s…” He sighed, a sad expression on his face, but then frowned. “Except... that makes even less sense given his past behaviour. I mean, he vehemently refused to spend a night with Cami, and...” he trailed off, frowning at that memory, but then shook his head again. “No, I can’t even guess what’s on his mind lately.”

The thought made Astrid sad somehow. Had Snot, her brother, really harboured some hidden crush on her all these years? The idea felt weird, but given how little experience Astrid had had on that matter before she’d met Hiccup, who was she to tell? But even if… Even if her heart wasn’t bound to Hiccup’s in so many ways, the idea of marrying Snot of all people had never even crossed her mind.

She kept brooding over the thought in silence, comparing Snot’s too-smooth smile this morning with Hiccup’s warm and loving one, until Eret sitting up straighter drew her attention. He was avidly watching the fighting ground below them, making Astrid pay it more attention for once, too. Today, the participants got paired randomly and were supposed to fight two versus two, showing how well they worked with a partner. And now, it apparently was Dagur’s turn. They watched him entering the arena with three other men, watched them pull coloured marbles from a small bag to decide on the pairings, watched the men take their positions.

Next to her, Eret grew visibly tense, and Astrid couldn’t help herself but place a comforting hand on his upper arm. Dagur was a good fighter; surely he would make it out of this unscathed.

And he did. He and his partner fought well, working together to keep each other’s backs clear while the other two just tried to gain their own advantage. The duel was over quickly, Dagur and his partner the undisputed winners of the match.

“Did you really doubt his skills?” Astrid teased Eret as he relaxed again.

Eret snorted. “These fights aren’t just about skill,” he emphasised. “Sure, having it helps, but it’s also a lot about luck. And, in this case especially, about your partner and how well you work together. And no matter how much luck or skill one has, injuries or worse are always a possibility.”

Astrid nodded, grimacing at the point. She’d grown a little numb in this regard over the last two weeks but that reminder had torn off the bandage anew. Eret was right, of course. Injuries and accidents were possible; she’d even seen them happening practically every day during this tournament; one man just this morning had slipped in the mud and gotten run through by his opponent’s sword. Said opponent had been shocked and jumped back from the dying man as if burned. And in the melee the day before yesterday, another man had lost his eye, gashed open by his opponent’s shield. Still others had lost fingers or toes or worse. Fortunately – if such a word could be used to describe such waste – these accidents mainly seemed to happen to men she didn’t care about at all, and who weren’t the most loyal vassals anyway, according to Eret.

“Right, I need to get ready now,” Eret interrupted her musings as he got up from his seat. “It’s supposed to be my turn soon. Wish me luck that I get a sensible partner,” he added with a wink that probably was meant to be reassuring and cheerful.

Astrid grimaced; after his words from only minutes before, this now wasn’t exactly encouraging. But she played along, if only to not make him nervous now. “Oh, don’t you dare get killed on me now, Sir Eret,” she called after him, making him grin before he slipped out of sight and into the tent where Hiccup would be waiting with his gear.

Exhaling deeply, she sat back into her comfortable armchair and watched the current fight with little interest. Oh, how she wished these fights and tournaments and hunts would stop now that she’d supposedly chosen her future husband. She wasn’t going to change her mind, not because of some man or other proving to be an impressive fighter, at least. If only Hiccup could somehow be allowed to participate. It would be a long shot; to make her change of mind believable, he’d have to be outstanding – which, according to his own words, he wasn’t. But it would at least be a possibility.

With a soft shake of her head, she let out a sigh. There had to be a way! Hiccup had yet to tell her what exactly he’d seen in his vision, but if it had been enough to revive his hope, then it was enough for her, too. There was a way, a solution. They just had to find it.

For a little while longer, she pondered and brooded until Eret entered the arena, followed by Hiccup who carried his spare shield and weapon – and also followed by Snot and his squire Gustav!

Astrid felt herself sit up straighter in surprise at that; she hadn’t thought it possible for two of the ducal heirs to end up together in one of these duels. But then, even that decision came by drawing lots, and it had happened before already with Eret and Dagur fighting together in that melee a week ago.

However, she had a bad feeling about this, somehow. If they ended up as opponents, would Eret be able to fight Snot for real? Only last months, she would have laughed about such a coincidence; her brothers were used to sparring with each other, after all. They’d probably knock out the other two fighters and turn it into one of their usual training fights.

But that had been then. Today, Astrid had no idea how Snot would behave. Anxiously, she awaited the drawing of the marbles – and exhaled in relief when it turned out that Snot and Eret would fight together instead of against each other. A little calmer now, she leaned forward, watching as all four men took their places and the referee gave them the go to begin. This was the best option she could’ve hoped for. She didn’t want her brothers to actually fight against each other, especially not with Snot’s weird behaviour lately. But if they stood together to fight, then nothing could go wrong, right?

Except that Snot didn’t stand with Eret.

It only took a couple of seconds before it became clear that Snot had no intentions to work with Eret in this. He charged forward at his opponent, leaving Eret to fend on his own against his. She could even hear Eret’s curse as he realised what had happened, saw the surprise and then the anger on his face, even through his helmet’s visor. Yes, fights like these didn’t only depend on skill, but also on luck and on your partner. And at least in that last regard, Eret had just lost.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid!” Astrid hissed under her breath, her eyes never leaving the fighting men below her. Anxiously, her hands clenched at her skirts, her whole body moving along with every one of Eret’s parries, dodges, and strikes. Damn it, this wasn’t the first time she had to watch him fight, and so far, he had yet to be beaten by anyone. Why was she so nervous now? But even though Snot’s stupidity gave the match a bad taste, Eret seemed to stand his ground just as well as usual – in the beginning, at least.

Astrid only saw it from the corner of her eye, her focus on Eret. But from one moment to the other, Snot was on the ground. He wasn’t bleeding, wasn’t even unconscious. But he’d lost his weapon, and judging by the uncoordinated way he tried to get back on his feet, his head must have been hit pretty hard. His opponent didn’t waste any time. He kicked Snot into the side, sending him back to the ground, then charged to where Eret and the other man were still fighting. Before anyone truly realised what had happened, he attacked Eret’s unguarded back. Astrid yelled out a warning, but it came too late, was only enough for Eret to turn but not enough for him to fully evade the blow.

Astrid’s scream of denial was drowned out in the general uproar that ran through the crowd as blood splattered the ground. It all happened incredibly fast. Eret whirled at her shout and saw the man coming up at him. He parried, desperately, and the man’s sword, which would have buried itself in his back, cut across his chest instead. Astrid saw his chainmail part under the blow.

But Eret’s parry was a masterstroke. Operating on what had to be reflex, his blade sliced open the other man’s arm down to the red-stained bone from his wrist to his elbow.

Gasping, Eret stood, his blade at the ready, even as his shirt and mail were stained with his own blood, and watched his other opponent warily. The man that had attacked him was bleeding profusely and had dropped his sword.

Dimly, Astrid became aware of the referee’s horn blowing, and he and his men, members of the King’s Guard, waded in to separate the fighters, as they always did when the tournament turned bloody, followed by Hiccup and Dagur. They carried Eret off to the healer’s tent, his arms slung over their shoulders, Eret’s opponent getting similar treatment from the guards, as the judges conferred on the scoring.

As order was restored, she was, at first, stunned and shocked. This shouldn’t have happened! Eret had said it so often, had been so sure that his rank as ducal heir would keep him safe from such an open attack. But the risk had come from ‘accidents and injuries happened.’ And not even men of high rank were safe from those.

And that hadn’t been an accident, anyway.

With her head spinning, she got up on shaky legs, her arms reaching out for something to stabilise her as she stumbled away from her chair. She had to get to Eret, had to know that he was okay. This was her fault; by singling him out, she’d painted a target on his back. A target the man he’d fought – some firstborn son of a count from Westhill, she vaguely recalled – had tried to score on.

“I have to get to the healer’s tent,” she muttered as Tuff tried to bar her from leaving her pavilion.

He didn’t seem happy about that idea. “Milady, I don’t think–”

But she cut him off directly with a determined gesture of her hand. She could imagine all the reasons he might come up with for why that wasn’t a good idea. This tournament was for her, and she should stay here and watch. A healer’s workspace could be an ugly place with blood everywhere – not the right surroundings for a lady. And since the patient was her public betrothed-to-be, she would do good at staying away when he very likely got stripped to get treated – for both propriety’s sake and to keep that target from getting bigger.

But none of that mattered.

“Get me to Eret!” she ordered, and there had to have been something in her voice or her expression that kept Tuff from objecting further. It also kept any guards and servants from blocking her way, even made the men outside the healer’s tent step aside as she approached with sure strides.

“How bad is it?” she blurted out as soon as she entered the tent, even before she could take in anything else. Offhandedly, she registered the scene in front of her; Eret was lying on a bench in the middle of the room, naked from the waist upwards and groaning in pain, with Fishlegs examining the gash on his upper chest and Hiccup hurrying about, his arms laden with healing supplies – while Dagur was sitting on Eret’s other side, holding his hand and murmuring encouragements.

Right… Fishlegs might not officially know about Eret’s and Dagur’s feelings for each other, but thanks to Heather they certainly weren’t a secret to him either. At least in this regard, they wouldn’t have to keep up appearances around him.

“It’s not as bad as it looks,” Fishlegs commented absentmindedly, still entirely concentrated on his work at hand as he reached for a piece of cloth to clean the wound. “It’s a deep cut, but luckily nothing but a flesh wound. The ribs beneath are unharmed and no sinews or major blood vessels were hit, either. It’ll scar, but he’ll live, barring infection."

The words were reassuring and part of her former tension floated out of her. She stepped a little closer, her eyes trying to examine the wound herself. But even though she understood the meaning of Fishlegs’ explanations, all of his lessons had only been theoretical so far, and all she saw was a gaping wound and too much blood. She thought about sitting down at his side as well to lend him support and comfort, but quickly decided against it. Dagur was doing a great job there already, clearly enough.

So there was little she could do but watch in silence as Fishlegs cleaned the wound, flinching every time Eret grunted or groaned in pain. A part of her, the part that she’d tried to ignore during the past two weeks and that now was stronger than ever, was acutely aware of Hiccup’s presence, of him standing only a few steps away now that Fishlegs had everything he needed to treat his patient. But this wasn’t really the moment to seek his closeness, not while Fishlegs could notice and not when all she could worry about was Eret and his wound.

The only warning then was Fishlegs throwing a quick telling glance up at Dagur before he applied a good amount of willow bark tincture onto the wound. Before, Eret had been able to stay relatively quiet despite the pain he had to be in, but with the sting and burn of the tincture, he couldn't do so any longer.

"Oh, fuck!" he cursed, his entire body going rigid, trembling with the effort to at least hold still.

Astrid whimpered, her hands clenching at her skirts. "I'm so sorry!" she whined once Eret’s shouting had calmed down to laboured panting only. "This is my fault. If I hadn't chosen you, hadn’t put that target on–"

"Nonsense," Eret interrupted her through gritted teeth. “Accidents happen in tournaments.”

“Bullshit,” she spat. “I know that, but that's not what I'm talking about. This man, he was trying to kill you. I saw him! He went straight for you after he knocked Snot down.”

“Given that I was fighting his partner, of course he did! He’d already taken Snot out, as you said–”

“Eret, you didn’t see him, he was going to stab you in the back!”

Eret scowled. “Maybe. And thanks for the warning, by the way. But it could have just been the heat of the moment, with his blood up. It wasn’t necessarily about you.”

She scowled and crossed her arms. “Uh-huh. Complete coincidence that the man publically favoured as the Princess’ betrothed-to-be almost comes down with a bad case of ‘sword in the back’? Pull the other one, it’s got bells on it.”

“He is right in one thing, though,” Fishlegs threw in, and she turned to glare at him. He met her gaze with equanimity. "It could have just been the heat of the fight," he continued, rummaging about with his tools. "I've certainly seen worse wounds lately, without such a possible motivation. It’s pure luck that neither of you got injured before, if you ask me."

"That’s true. Or if that’s not good enough for you, Swanja: it also could have been purely politically motivated," Eret added, grimacing as Fishlegs probed his chest. "Could you be a little more gentle there, my good healer?”

“I’ll go get my feather-needles,” Fishlegs deadpanned, and Eret snorted.

“Just keep the red stuff on the inside,” he joked, and Astrid rolled her eyes.

Dagur smirked. “This is an excellent opportunity to prove something I’ve been wondering for a while, actually.”

“What’s that?” Astrid asked. She threw Dagur a quick glance, and saw that he was feeling just like she did: not in the mood for joking at all, but playing along for Eret’s sake.

“Well, we know his granddad doesn’t have a heart, and his dad has pragmatism instead of blood, so...”

“I think I can say that I have both,” Eret grunted, and looked back to Astrid. “Look, it might have just been someone stupid enough to think that taking out a ducal heir would gain him some recognition. Instead, he'll probably get excluded from the tournaments, maybe even punished further.”

Fishlegs, threading a needle with a focused look, said, “No need for that.”

“What do you mean?” Eret asked.

“I saw his arm when he was carried in,” Fishlegs said. “Why do you think the junior healer is attending to you, Sir Eret, ducal heir of a grand duchy, and not the senior healer? t’s near-certain that the man who attacked you will lose the arm, and also possibly his life if the bleeding can’t be brought under control,” Fishlegs said grimly.

Silence reigned for a moment, and Astrid wasn’t sure how to feel about this. Another unnecessary death, one that also might or might not be her fault… but it certainly wasn’t hitting an innocent man!

Then Eret coughed, thankfully breaking the silence. “Either way, the only one to blame for me getting hurt is that man, and probably myself – but definitely not you, Swanja. I should have paid better attention to the entire fight and not just my opponent."

"Or, if you want to put the blame on somebody else," Dagur growled, "then my suggestion would be Snot. What was that idiot thinking? It's not as if he doesn't know how duels like these work. Thor, we've done play fights like this with Daniel ever since we were able to hold sticks. There's literally no sane reason for why he fought on his own like that. Gods, I want to head over and punch him in the face for this idiocy!" At that, everyone just grunted in agreement.

Biting her lip, Astrid didn't object any further; she knew that they would only come up with more reassurances anyway. But that sense of guilt still lingered.

When Fishlegs was done with his preparations, he handed Eret a sturdy piece of leather with bite marks on it already, and when she spotted him holding a needle and a thread covered in more willow bark tincture in his hand, she realised what would come next. Her anxiety grew as she saw Eret bracing himself against the pain, clutching more firmly at Dagur’s hand, and she tensed as well.

“I’m so sorry,” she repeated, urgently, half expecting to get told off again. But with the leather already between his teeth, Eret couldn’t say anything, only rolled his eyes and threw a strange nod in her general direction. Astrid didn’t know what to make of it, but as soon as Fishlegs had turned all his attention to Eret’s wound again, she understood that the gesture hadn’t been meant for her at all.

She jumped as a pair of arms wound around her shoulders and waist and pulled her to the back of the tent, though not out of direct fear as she recognised them as Hiccup’s right away. No, it was the fear of how Fishlegs would react as Hiccup pulled her into his arms and against his chest that made her want to draw back at first. But, of course, Fishlegs was too absorbed by his work to notice anything else right now and he had his back toward them anyway, so she gave in.

Hiccup held her tightly, turning her so she couldn’t watch and murmuring reassurances into her ear to drown out Eret’s noises of pain. They all knew that it was necessary to suture the gash, but that didn’t make it any easier – for anyone. No, all she could do was try to not make it harder for Eret by showing how much his pain affected her too.

Instead, she pressed harder into Hiccup’s embrace, clinging to his formal squire outfit, and let his presence soothe her. A small voice inside her head was scolding her for this, for seeking Hiccup’s comfort when Eret was suffering because of her, of them. But she vehemently pushed it aside; Eret’s pain certainly wasn’t Hiccup’s fault. The target on Eret’s back was there, regardless of whether her choosing him was real or not.

She fought to calm herself, but no matter how sensible all their reasoning before had sounded, she couldn’t shake off the feeling that Eret getting wounded today was her fault, and hers alone. It didn’t matter whether one wanted to put the blame on Snot or Eret's attacker; in both cases, the reason behind it certainly was Astrid’s choice. She didn’t believe in an otherwise politically motivated attack, not with this impeccable timing.

Thuggory had even warned her that something would happen to her chosen if she didn’t choose him. Was it possible that he somehow was behind this? Eret had been lucky in that the attack had only caused such a relatively light wound, but so easily it could have been a lethal blow. And obviously, his high rank wouldn’t have saved him either.

She didn’t get the chance to further ponder on this, though. Hiccup did his best to distract her from such gloomy thoughts. Despite her worries over Eret’s well-being and flinching at every muffled noise of pain, she eventually gave in to Hiccup’s efforts. She made herself focus on every single one of his light touches and even enjoyed the way he caressed her and covered her face and hair with soft soothing kisses. It wasn’t enough to forget what was happening behind her or why – but it felt good nonetheless.

She wasn’t sure for how long she stood like this, closely encased in Hiccup’s arms and with his lips on her ear murmuring sweet nothings, with Fishlegs patching up the wound with moss and a tight bandage, with Dagur and Eret engaging him in a conversation to keep him from paying much attention to his surroundings, and with Tuff conveniently standing in the way should Fishlegs turn around anyway. It could have been only minutes or maybe it was over an hour. She knew that she was pushing her luck by refusing to step away, but she just felt as if she needed Hiccup’s closeness to cope. Last night and this morning had been good, but it had been far from enough to fully chase away the anxiousness and the pain of their separation before. It might have been her worries for Eret that had made her come here, but now that she knew he would be okay – and already was fairly okay with Dagur comforting him – she couldn’t help but give in and bask in Hiccup’s warmth. Their love was like a shield to ward off all the pain and misery around them, impenetrable and keeping them safe no matter what.

But she really shouldn’t have pushed her luck.

She didn’t even notice as the entrance of the tent flapped open and someone came in. In fact, nobody seemed to notice at first, the men caught up in their conversation, until a loud exclamation and the noise of a plate breaking on the floor drew all their attention.

“No!”

With a spark of her old panic, Astrid whirled around and away from Hiccup, just as everyone else turned toward the newcomer as well. Tuff even made a hasty step to the side to stand between her and Hiccup and the entrance, but it was too late.

Heather had seen enough to understand and, judging by the anger on her face, didn’t like what she saw. Before anyone could react, she stormed through the tent and grabbed Astrid by her arm. “Don’t you dare,” she shrieked, apparently not caring for her rank in the slightest as she pulled her away from Hiccup’s side with enough force that it hurt. “Don’t you dare ruin this.”

Astrid could do little but stumble along, bewildered when she spotted tears forming in Heather’s eyes, accusation and a kind of pain on her face that made her tremble. But before she could even try to make any rhyme or reason of her behaviour, Heather let go of her arm, nearly causing her to fall if Tuff hadn’t caught her, and turned toward Hiccup instead.

“And you,” she continued without pause, making a baffled Hiccup take a step backwards at her approach. “Stay away from the Princess. I don’t care how impressive your seduction skills might be; she’s not for you! Do you hear me? Get lost, there’s nothing to gain here for you except the noose!”

At that, Astrid froze, eyes wide in panic. No! No, Heather couldn’t tell anyone, couldn’t get Hiccup punished, not now. She couldn’t! She wanted to interrupt Heather’s tirade, wanted to order her to be quiet, to make her understand. She wasn’t sure why Heather was reacting that strongly or what it was exactly she could do to keep her from running directly to her father, but she just had to do something. However, before she could make any attempt at getting her body to react as it was supposed to, Dagur beat her to it.

“Heather, what–” he tried to interfere, to distract or even to calm his half-sister. But all it gained him was her turning on him and Eret next. Her angry expression grew even more intense as she stomped through the tent until she loomed over them, ignoring her brother and glaring down at Eret instead.

“I can’t believe it,” she hissed. “I know it’s all just an act, but still. Setting your squire up to seduce your bride, using him as some kind of bait or toyboy for her to fool around with, and all just because you’re not interested and don’t want to face reality – you should be ashamed of yourself!”

“Heather, calm down,” Dagur interrupted her again, more firmly this time. “That’s not what this is about at all. Listen, I–”

But he got no chance to explain further.

From one second to the other, Heather became eerily quiet, and even though Astrid couldn’t see her face, it had to be quite intimidating as not only Dagur but also Eret and even Fishlegs clamped their mouths shut as she turned toward him.

“Don’t you dare!” she spat. She was shaking now with livid rage. “Don’t you dare tell me to calm down or that this is not what it looks like. I know exactly what this is about. It’s about you being a selfish ass, about to ruin my life without even batting an eye. Or can you look me in the eye and swear on all that’s sacred to you that this is not about you all pretending for Astrid and Eret to get married, when in truth, you’re only looking for a way to circumvent your responsibilities.”

A stunned silence spread through the tent. Dagur had his mouth open to protest, but couldn’t get a single word out. And Astrid couldn’t even blame him. Heather had nailed it – even though in a completely different way than she thought. His eyes darted from Heather to Eret then to her and Hiccup and back to Heather before he closed his mouth again

“That’s what I thought,” she said bitterly. “But if you think I’m just going to stand and watch then you’re wrong.”

She turned and was about to leave when Dagur caught himself again. “No, wait!” he exclaimed, reaching out and catching her by the arm. She fought against his hold, but he wouldn’t budge, even pulled her back until he had his arms around her.

“Let me go,” she wailed. She was still fighting her brother, but without any true force anymore. Instead, she looked as if she was about to burst out into tears at any moment.

“Not until you tell me what all this is about,” he grunted. “What do you mean by ‘ruining your life’? I’d never do something to harm you, don’t you know that?” Still holding her tight, Dagur turned her around in his arms as Heather seemed to deflate until her head leaned against his chest and her tears were soaking his tunic.

After all of these years married, Astrid guessed that Fishlegs knew by now that it was better for him to keep out of any arguments between the siblings. But even as he’d clearly wanted to support his wife just now, still being busy with Eret’s wound had kept him from interfering – until now. “It’s… because of your father,” he threw in, cautiously. “And the succession.”

Astrid was on edge, watching the scene in front of her intently. Dagur seemed to have Heather under control for now and he certainly was the best one suited here to talk sense into her anyway – but that didn’t mean that Astrid would let her ruin everything. She was tense, trembling even, and ready to jump in should Heather make another attempt to run away.

So, at first, she didn’t quite appreciate Hiccup approaching her again, much less wrapping one arm around her waist from where he stood half behind her and half to her side. Didn’t he understand how much was at stake right not? But when she turned to look at him, to make him understand why she had to interfere, he shook his head.

“Let Dagur handle this,” he whispered with a strange expression in his eyes. “If it’s about their father, you can’t do anything here.”

She wanted to argue – but after only one heartbeat, she closed her mouth again and nodded. He was right; if this was in some way about House Berserker and their family, then they had to clear this up themselves.

Still ready to interfere if needed, she let Hiccup pull her closer to him. It wasn’t an obvious gesture that would draw Heather’s attention again, but still soothing enough, and only now did Astrid realise how much she’d been shaking. And despite the disturbing scene in front of them, she couldn’t help but lean even more into him, seeking his closeness as she tried to make sense.

What was all this about? House Berserker’s line of succession? How was there any room for arguments? Dagur was the sole heir and that was it. Wasn’t it? Astrid was relieved that Heather didn’t seem to care about her and Hiccup directly, but that only eased the situation so much.

Dagur seemed equally puzzled though. “What?” he asked, bewildered, and kept glancing from Fishlegs to Heather and back again. “What’s that supposed to mean? What has Father to do with any of this?”

Heather scoffed, her eyes growing hooded and angry. "You don’t get it, do you?” She pushed herself away from him again, and this time he let her as it was clear that she wasn’t about to run away again. Not yet at least. “If you know how and where to listen, the rumours are clear enough. Even I have heard about you moaning into a cup of ale by now, about how you’d rather get a clean death on the battlefield then die slowly of a broken heart married to someone you don’t love.” She laughed bitterly. “So, of course, Father heard about that too, that you’re considering taking the warrior way out. He even came up with an emergency plan already, a loophole. And a while ago, he came to our home to tell me about it.” She made a subconscious step toward Fishlegs, one arm wrapped tightly around herself. “If you died or,” she glanced at Eret, “did something else that would keep you from inheriting, then my child will be on hook to take your place.”

Astrid’s eyes widened in disbelief, and judging by the silence that followed her words, she wasn’t the only one who felt that way.

“Y-your child?” Dagur eventually inquired, puzzled. “But that doesn’t make any sense. If you or any other of our sibling could inherit then there wouldn’t be a problem at all. Aren alone would make for an excellent leader in my stead,” he went on, referring to their younger brother who’d joined the Order of Odin, if Astrid remembered correctly.

Heather sobbed, even though she still sounded angry. “Yeah, we can’t inherit. We might be his acknowledged children, but the Law says that any child born out of wedlock or by an Ástir cannot inherit, or be a part of a noble House,” she spat bitterly.

Dagur shook his head, confused. “But… you’ve known that, and you’ve even told me that you’re happy about that. Haven’t you said – more than once if I recall – that you’re even glad not to be noble, with all those puffed-up lords and ladies in Southshore?”

“Aye. And that’s still true,” Heather huffed. “But think it through, brother. Children born out of wedlock or by an Ástir can’t inherit.”

Dagur nodded hesitantly, obviously trying to find what the loophole was. Then Astrid had to muffle a gasp when it hit her.

“Yes, the Princess got it,” Heather said sourly. “My child wouldn’t be the child of an Ástir.”

“Just a former one,” Astrid said numbly.

“And born in wedlock and an undisputed descendant of our father... apparently that’s good enough,” Heather confirmed in a bleak voice before it grew thick with tears. “He said he’d only... only take them if you were to die on the battlefield before you produced an heir, but…” again, her eyes flickered to Eret, “but we both know that’s not the main problem. You don’t want to marry, ever, so it’s inevitable. He’ll take my baby away from me! Justin and I wouldn’t even be allowed to come too; he’d just take them away and raise them as his own. And all just because you are too selfish to stand up to your responsibilities!”

Her voice had become thinner with every word, and for another heartbeat or three, all that could be heard was her sobbing before Dagur apparently caught himself again. “I didn’t know that,” he muttered, a troubled grimace on his face. Then he shook his head. “It’s true that I said something like that once, but… but I didn’t mean it!” Heather just stared at him with teary eyes, and he started to babble. “Odin! I’d never actively try to kill myself, no matter what. And even though I’m not exactly looking forward to a political marriage, I know about my responsibilities. But with knowing this, I have even more reason to stand up to them. I-I will take my place and prove to Father that he doesn’t need to bother you with this. Believe me, Heather, I won’t let anyone take your child away should you ever have one; not even our father!”

Another sob tore itself from her throat, louder and more urgent. Fishlegs, who’d just finished patching Eret up and had cleaned his hands, finally stood up, and Heather accepted his embrace gladly. She muttered something that sounded like “But that’ll be too late,” though Astrid wasn’t quite sure whether she’d understood it right. Dagur seemed equally confused, but before he could react, Eret preempted him.

“You’re already pregnant, aren’t you?” he said quietly. His skin was still covered in cold sweat from before, but despite the slightly dazed expression on his face, there was a clarity in his eyes that left no room for doubts. And it made sense, Astrid realised. The way Heather had begged her to marry Dagur or Eret, to separate them so that they would focus on their duties as heir instead. But also how she’d been overly tired, how she would wrap her arm around her midst in something of a protective gesture, how Fishlegs would jump up and prepare a cup of tea for her whenever he thought she needed one, and even the fact that he hadn’t needed that box of moss meant to deal with moonblood anymore – it all made sense now.

Weakly, Heather nodded. “Five months now,” she breathed. “We didn’t even plan for it to happen, knew how risky it was ever since he visited us. But when it did happen… we were so happy.” She leaned closer against Fishlegs, snuggling into his embrace in a way Astrid could emphasise all too well. “We were worried how Father would react if he learned about it, but when Astrid’s wedding was announced… I thought that was a sign from my Goddess herself, a reassurance that I wouldn’t need to be afraid anymore. That everything would be fine, that I would get to keep my child. But now…” She broke off again as fresh tears welled up in her eyes.

With a heavy sigh, Dagur stepped closer to them, his hand reaching for that of his sister. “I’m truly sorry, Heather. I didn’t know any of that. But… but I promise you don’t need to be afraid, okay? You’re my sister and I’d do everything for you. I meant what I said and I gladly repeat it again for you. I vow, by the life of the woman who raised us both and who we both love dearly, that I won’t let anyone take your child away from you!”

A faint smile crossed Heather’s face but didn’t reach her eyes. “I’d like to believe you,” she whispered, and then glanced at Eret on his bench. “And yet, here you are, still holding on to your impossible feelings for each other and even luring Astrid into your charade to cover for you. All just to stave off the only option that won’t end in even more people getting hurt. It’s only a few months now, why-why can’t you just accept it?”

Dagur opened his mouth to reply but closed it again right away. And what was he supposed to say anyway? Astrid vividly remembered Dagur placing his weapon to Eret’s feet during the tournament a week ago, remembered the short conversation they’d had afterwards. Eret and Dagur already had accepted their fate, long ago. Their love wasn’t what Heather needed to be concerned about...

“But he’s right,” she interjected on Dagur’s behalf, drawing everyone’s attention. Maybe it would be better to let Heather believe what she’d just said… but she owed it to Eret and Dagur to set this right. “What you saw… that wasn’t about Dagur and Eret at all. It… it’s my fault. It’s me who…” She trailed off again, unsure what she even wanted to say. It was her fault that everything was so complicated – because she couldn’t bear the thought of a life other than at Hiccup’s side.

Trying to make a point, she blindly reached for his hand on her shoulder, weaving her fingers through his as she held Heather’s gaze. She wanted her to understand. That she loved Hiccup, that he was more than just a distraction, her end of a deal. He was her soulmate. They loved each other, couldn’t live without each other. This had nothing to do with Eret or Dagur or her or anyone else.

And really, there was understanding in Heather’s eyes – but not the slightest hint of compassion. Mutely, she wound herself out of her husband’s arms, crouched down to pick up the shards of the plate she’d dropped earlier, and then turned to leave.

“Wait!” Dagur quickly caught her by the arm again, not with as much force as before but still enough to make her pause. “What are you going to do now? Will you… tell anyone?”

Oh, please not! Astrid prayed inwardly. If Heather told anyone… No, that couldn’t be happening. They had to stop her, somehow, just–

But Heather shook her head. “No,” she said in a bleak voice. “No, I won’t spill your secrets. I… I trust in your integrity, Dagur, that I can rely on your promise. But just to make this clear: if I ever have to choose between my hard-earned happiness and my loyalty to you nobles who wouldn’t stand up to your responsibilities… then I know my choice already.” She gave them all a last hard glare, then pulled her arm out of Dagur’s hold and left the tent. And even though Astrid wanted to be angry at her for this clear show of defiance... some deeply buried part of her couldn’t even blame her.

Responsibilities…

Yes, they all had a lot of them. Their lives came with many privileges compared to those of lower birth, and even though it wasn’t always easy, it certainly was simpler than that of many others. But this life came with a price, with responsibilities they all had to the people. They had to keep up stability and peace, had to follow the rules…

Needing his support, she turned to look at Hiccup again. She hoped to find comfort in his eyes, the reassurance that their love would endure every storm. As long as they had each other, nothing could go wrong, their love shielding them from everything.

But instead of that reassurance and comfort, all she could find in his eyes were desperation and pain.

He didn’t give her the chance to drown in those emotions, though. Instead, he pulled her into a tight embrace, his panted breaths heaving against her neck – but Astrid had seen enough, understood.

What had just happened with Heather… it didn’t affect her and Hiccup, not directly at least. Marrying Dagur had never really been an option and she fully trusted in his integrity anyway, so her and Hiccup looking for a way to be together didn’t make a difference there.

But that wasn’t the point anyway.

Their last resort… it wasn’t something they could do for real, she understood that now. Hiccup’s reluctance and Eret’s warning from last night, it all made sense to her now. No matter how strong her love for Hiccup was, it wasn’t worth everything. Even though she might want to, she couldn’t just run away from her responsibilities, not when that meant putting others in harm’s way.

And Eret had been right. Eloping just like that would not just be risky and most likely not work; it would also cause some serious political consequences, for House Jag’r but also for the Crown in general. Maybe things were different, maybe nobody would suffer from her actions as directly as Heather might suffer if Dagur wouldn’t be able to keep his promise. But that didn’t mean that she could take that risk lightly. There would be accusations and possibly even actions against Eret and his House, and people would lose their trust in House Hofferson too, in her Father and in Daniel. No, those weren’t things she could risk. Their love might be like a shield, but that didn’t mean she could hide behind it and ignore everything else.

With a low whimper, she pressed herself closer to Hiccup’s chest, felt how his arms around her tightened. A future without him wasn’t an option, but how could they reach it, that vision of their simple home?

More of Eret’s words from last night crossed her mind, about how there might be ways to prepare their disappearance. So far, she hadn’t let herself think about that too much, but now… How could they prepare her running away with Hiccup without it causing such a political uproar?

The answer was as simple as it was impossible. The only way for her to escape her golden cage was the same Dagur had apparently also already thought about. She’d have to die – except not for real, of course. Because in opposition to Dagur, her death wouldn’t harm anyone. She’d only have to fake it convincingly enough so that nobody would have any doubts.

Something like a hysterical laugh escaped her, one that directly changed into quiet sobbing. How were they supposed to pull that off? How could she make people believe that she was dead without a body? Because killing someone else who vaguely resembled her and mutilate their body to hide the differences was out of the question.

No, this wasn’t a sensible option either. She’d probably ponder more on this, but…

She pulled back, catching Hiccup’s wondering gaze for a heartbeat before she stretched to press her lips to his. He caught up to her mood without a pause, hurling her as close as was physically possible and kissing her with the same desperation she felt, too.

There had to be a solution! There had to be a way to make her choosing Hiccup as her husband possible. There still would be people who’d complain, but as long as he was legally eligible that wouldn’t matter.

They just had to find it…

. o O o .

So, erm... that was that. I honestly never thought the day would come where I shed even one tear for Heather... But writing this chapter certainly made me do so a lot!

#FTLOAP #For The Love Of A Princess #Hiccstrid #Hiccstrid fanfiction #fanfiction #httyd #httyd fanfiction #medieval au #Hiccstrid Medieval AU #royalty au #hiccstrid royal au #angst #fluff #hurt/comfort #httyd romance

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prettyboysdontlookatexplosions · 5 years

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On the subject of Rachel songs! What other songs do you think of for her, or any other Animorphs, besides "Kill V. Maim"? "Fickle Game" by Amber Run reminds me of her in 54, and possibly "I'll Be Good" by Jaymes Young for Jake... What do you think? (alternatively: what would they listen to nowadays )

wow anon, thank you for this question directly tailored to my exact personal interests. also thank you for both of those tips; “I’m old enough to know I’ll end up dying and not young enough to forget again” is BRUTAL for a closing rachel song, and i fully agree that insisting he will be good for all of the terribleness he’s wrought is truly a jake vibe.

being me (1) i obviously have accompanied this recent spiral with the initiation of a personal spotify playlist titled animorphs (2) at some point i am going to be trying to do something productive and my brain is going to be like “NO. FIRST you must explain to tumblr why this 1975 track is actually about animorphs, no matter how insufferable you will be making yourself look in public as you do so,” so, like, stay tuned for, probably, novel-length explications on all of these and many more, but since you asked, here’s what i’ve been yelling about while walking to the train lately:

taylor swift, eyes open, is like the jake berenson anthem of all time. the first verse is very animorphs in general - the tricky thing is yesterday we were just children, i have literally never been able to listen to this song without thinking of animorphs - but the second verse is so jake near the end of the war, exhausted and fraying but also someone who has become extremely good at his job (saving earth). “every lesson brings a new scar” but also you’ve got something they don’t, you’ve got something they don’t - doing the impossible, even as it eats you alive from the inside out, is just a description of how a not-that-bright 16-year-old made himself enemy number 1 of an intergalactic empire.

while we’re talking hunger games soundtracks, lorde’s yellow flicker beat is another rachel jam - a song about becoming something terrifying that opens i’m a princess cut from marble smoother than a stone, anything that’s about setting your own beauty on fire as a torch. they used to shout my name, now they whisper it. and, of course, i’ve got my fingers laced together and i’ve made a little prison and i’m locking up everyone who ever laid a finger on me—bottomless rage for anyone who ever hurt you or anyone you love, that terrifying certainty that now it’s over.

world/inferno friendship society, me vs. the angry mob, is some real marco vibes, because: it’s a song about being pissed that someone else drew you into a fight, again, and now you’re on the run for your life, again, and, jesus christ, won’t this just end already; because there has never been a time / when brains has not won over brawn / and we will live to see the dawn is a solid summation of how marco keeps them all alive, improbably enough, again and again; because, i mean: i do think that i’m funny / but someday it’ll be one bon mot too many

jillette johnson, torpedo, is… all of them? rachel if i have to pick just one, because she’s the only one who really takes pride in her combat skills, so an opening of i know how to take a right hook feels very rachel, but, i mean: i don’t want no saints or saviors / this is guerrilla and i will fight this war. that’s… all of them. that’s my kids.

chvrches, clearest blue, is about tobias, because it is a song about looking up at the sky while having a panic attack, which is tobias’s entire life. it’s also a song about how love isn’t enough to make you not fucked up, but it’s better to have someone with you in the darkness than to be alone, which is… also tobias’s entire life. whenever i try to push away you can just keep me there / so please say you’ll meet me, meet me halfway… that’s just tobias/rachel hurt/comfort fic. that’s just what that line is.

speaking of tobias/rachel, metric’s no lights on the horizon works equally well for both of them in the context of the other, and i have been very upset about it: if it wasn’t for your kindness / i think i might be dead

i’ve been listening to a lot of metric lately, and blindness is another jake song. you gave me a life i never chose / i wanna leave but the world won’t let me go + got us a battle, leave it up to me.

and, just for fun, stadium love: spider versus bat / tiger versus rat / owl versus dove / every living thing pushed into the ring / fight it out to wow the crowd

i was going to say rachel is the easiest one to find theme songs for, but actually i think i just personally happen to love songs about female anger, which to some extent explains why i don’t have a really good cassie song yet (although i’ll throw out that @thejakeformerlyknownasprince‘s assignment of vanessa carlton’s white houses to cassie at the end of the series is… perfect and also terrible, like i needed another reason to cry every time i listen to that song). but, anyway, to end on a lighter note, the unlovables, crazy tonight: i’m going crazy tonight / there’s something in my head that isn’t right / i’m all fired up, i swear i think i’m gonna start a fight —i mean this is self-explanatory, but, also, if you say i’m just pre-menstrual i will stab you with a pencil is just, inarguably, something rachel has said to marco. this has happened.

#always soundtracking #animorphs

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eponymous-rose · 6 years

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Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role Highlights C2E33 (September 11, 2018)

Tonight’s guests are Taliesin Jaffe and Liam O’Brien!

Announcements:

Support the RavenRook Kickstarter! Brian used one of their notebooks to take notes in his own home campaign. (”I was the Marisha.”)

The NYC live show on Thursday, October 4 still has tickets available! (Liam: ”It’s like the inside of Gilmore’s mind, that theater.”)

There’s a new State of the Role video on YouTube and the website!

Between the Sheets, CR’s new show, premieres on Monday, September 17 at 7 PM Pacific on CR’s Twitch channel, and then on YouTube about 36 hours later. The first episode features Taliesin Jaffe and is over an hour long. Brian: “Taliesin is like an endless well of darkness and love and joy. So many bad things.”

All Work No Play is returning! Premieres on the Twitch channel (also later windowed to YouTube) on Friday, September 28 at 7 PM Pacific. A dire warning from Brian: “Have liquid nowhere near your mouth.” Liam: “We’ve seen some things.”

CR is raising money for the Pablove Foundation!

@critrolestats for this episode:

This is the first episode of campaign 2 to have no crits.

There were 16 spells cast this week. Ten of them were Disguise Self, six of those by Jester. Taliesin: “Sometimes you don’t want to be the guy who’s nine feet tall in the theater.”

Of the eight Sending messages Jester has sent this campaign, only her last one to the Gentleman was under the 25-word limit.

Liam: “I feel so sad that Laura can’t be here tonight, because I, personally, wanted to know what Laura thought about what happened in the last episode. I share your disappointment that I’m not Laura Bailey.” Taliesin: “He’s making a suit. It will eventually be okay.”

Caleb’s feelings about the ocean were tied up in finally being out of the Empire. “It was just a rare moment where all the things that weigh on him heavily receded for a bit.” Seeing Crownsguard in town did ramp up the worry again.

Taliesin hadn’t actually seen snowfall until he was a teenager, so the first time that happened was “an intense experience”. Caduceus has spent a lot of time thinking about how large the universe is, but having this confirmation was a really wonderful thing for him. He’s on a delighted high right now, and they’re going to have a hard time getting him away from the ocean.

Everyone talks briefly about their respective Tumblr Aesthetics. As you do.

Caleb’s thoughts on the ocean and the dodecahedron: “Confirming to himself that the universe is wide and vast and complicated, and there’s a hidden logic to it all. It was like seeing his heart’s desire splayed into an abstract form in front of him.”

Brian reminisces about some time they spent on the beach together. Liam was a sea monster. Ashley was attacked by a bug. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the police got involved.

Taliesin confirms that Caduceus really likes the group. “I mean, he doesn’t have a lot of people to compare them to.” He feels like he “really gets” Jester; she seems like the easiest book to read. Taliesin: “He knows what he knows. He knows he doesn’t know a lot, but he knows it doesn’t matter.”

Caleb didn’t assume that Jester’s mom was evil, it just didn’t sound like a great childhood. Caleb still feels sad that Jester had to go through that. “Nobody’s evil, it’s just that life is life and hard. He sees that Jester’s mother obviously loves her very much and is like, ‘I wish she got to see more of her.’” Brian points out that Caleb’s thoughts about other people are always much kinder than his thoughts about himself. Caleb’s constantly thinking, “Ah, this is what life would be like if I wasn’t terrible.” Taliesin points out that it is, by definition, what his life is like, but he’s not there yet. He feels detached.

Caduceus doesn’t understand “the entire nature” of the relationship between Beau and Jester and their pets. “I think if we had another person in the party, he would have the same-- ‘Cool, another.’ This is just three more living things to communicate with.” He likes the owl best so far.

Caduceus doesn’t really get what’s going on with Jester and the Gentleman. Taliesin: “That’s cool, man, get to know your dad!” Liam: “Caleb thinks that all of the Nein, except for Jester, are kind of fucked up and kind of problematic in their own ways... and then Jester’s one of us, more so.”

Caduceus has a pretty positive relationship with his family. He’s 50-ish, which is the equivalent of early 20s. “He’s literally grown up in a monastery, so his early 20s is not necessarily other people’s early 20s.”

Gif of the Week: Travis’s Lore Alert.

The show gets derailed by Brian’s Dune-blue eyes. “Are you spicing?”

Part of Caleb being more watchful over Jester is being out of the Empire. “He sees chances to help people---he’s irredeemable, but he’d like to be helpful if he can. From his point of view, he’s got things that he’s going to do.”

Brian asks if Taliesin and Liam think there’s such a thing as an irredeemable character. Taliesin on Percy: “I tried to make an irredeemable character and failed.” As long as they’re not a caricature, it’s hard to pull that off. Taliesin: “As long as you have a character who’s trying to move toward something.” Liam: “I definitely intend Caleb to have some chance for redemption.” He doesn’t know where his story will go, but he wouldn’t play him otherwise. Taliesin: “He’s a villain only in his head, which is really the hardest fight of all.”

Dani points out that the Gentleman clearly wanted to keep his relationship with the Ruby on the down-low, and Jester bringing it up could backfire badly.

Marisha’s off-screen trying to catch a fly. Liam: “It’s Vecna. He’s immortal. He’s just been flying around the studio for months.”

Caduceus was looking for a particular kind of information, and “the lighthouse called to him. The lighthouse was his mission. If he’s focused on something like that, he’s focused. It’s very hard to distract him.” He didn’t get as much out of it as he wanted, and badly wants to know more.

Taliesin wrote a segment about the Wildmother in the upcoming artbook, some of which wound up bleeding through to Caduceus. Liam and Brian discuss Taliesin’s amazing writing.

Liam and Marisha get into an argument about the tower. Marisha: “Sometimes it’s just fun to hop the fence to say that you could! I’m not in this episode! Stop talking about me!”

Fanart of the Week: the Ruby of the Sea by ZomgDae!

An extremely deserved shout-out to Rachel Romero for everything she does!

Taliesin is asked if Caduceus has trained himself not to show anger, sadness, or fear. Taliesin points out that Caduceus hasn’t had a lot of reason to be angry, sad, or afraid yet. “He has a lot of very quiet and very personal delight. He’s not a creature of heavy desire. He’s not missing a lot. If something hadn’t gone wrong in his home, he never would have left it. He’s seen violence, and he’s very comfortable with the nature of violence.” Liam: “In the National Geographic sense.” Taliesin’s excited to see what happens if he or his companions are put in a place of real peril.

Liam was entertained that nobody playing the game picked up on Marisha, Matt, and Taliesin’s alter egos in the werewolf one-shot. Laura’s going to be up next in the DM chair at some point, and Taliesin has a fun idea as well.

Fast Times At Talks Machina: After Dark High:

Taliesin thinks Molly and Caduceus would get along pretty well; they had a lot in common. Taliesin was finishing up Molly’s playlist this week, and all the songs he cut wound up finding their way into Caduceus’s playlist.

Taliesin owns a book about presidential beards (because of course he does) and wants to take Brian through that journey. Brian actually grew his beard in the first place because Laura made a comment about him not looking good without one in an early episode of TM.

What would they use the dodecahedron for in real life? Job interviews, auditions, dates...

Dani asks about Frumpkin. Caleb specifically summoned Frumpkin as a cat because he’s a cat person, based on his experience with his childhood cat. Liam’s cat named Frumpkin was actually a siamese, not a bengal like in-game Frumpkin.

Taliesin: “All of our characters should have pets like Strawberry Shortcake.”

We leave you with this image:

#critical role #critical role spoilers #talks machina #talks machina spoilers #long text post

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florrickandassociates · 5 years

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TGF Thoughts: 3x06-- The One with the Celebrity Divorce

One more to go before the new episode! I’m making progress! This recap contains ONLY ONE complaint about Maia!

There’s a promo for Strange Angel tacked on to the front of this episode. I have no interest in it, or, really, in any other CBS All Access show (Twilight Zone intrigues me but I don’t like horror). But, I’m curious: are any of y’all watching other All Access shows? Aside from one episode of One Dollar (which was terrible) and the Big Brother live feeds, I pay for All Access just for TGF. And TGF is the only show, probably ever, I’d be willing to subscribe to an entire service for.

“America Goes Poddy” is a hilariously terrible name for the show’s Pod Save America ripoff.

Diane’s listening to America Goes Poddy (sorry, I’m laughing again, it always gets me when this show uses really juvenile humor) and they’re talking about how now Democrats are doing well in the polls because of ALL THE THINGS THE RESISTANCE DID. “Who are the badasses doing this?” the Poddy Guys ask. They seem to have picked up on the fact these are linked.

One thing that always makes me uncomfortable about TGW/TGF is that sometimes they wind up on the wrong side of the fiction/reality line. This episode will do a fairly good job staying on the right side of it with the Melania stuff later, but I don’t love hearing about how #Resistance has made an impact in the polls when I know it’s fake and it hasn’t done a thing because it’s fake. There’s a way to make political plots high-stakes and realistic (the DNC impeachment stuff last year) and there’s a way to make political plots high-stakes and so unrealistic they can’t be taken seriously (#FlorrickForPresident2016).

GUYS, can I rant about a TGW thing? I was reading Becoming earlier this week (highly recommend, for anyone who still hasn’t picked up a copy) and was reminded of the Obama presidential announcement. This led me to google pictures of the announcement, which in turn led me to realize the 7x06 plot in which Alicia and Peter stand inside a hot gym in winter coats to have an Obama moment is even dumber than I previously believed. And I previously believed it was one of the stupidest things the show’s ever done. See, I had always thought they just copied the venue, which in itself seems like a stunt, but no, they weren’t content to just do that. They also had Alicia wear the same hat and color scarf as Michelle Obama. THIS WOULD NEVER FUCKING WORK; EVERY GODDAMN TALK SHOW WOULD MAKE FUN OF IT, SEASON SEVEN IS THE WORST, UGH.

#Resistance has more members and a new HQ, and they’re celebrating America Goes Poddy’s publicity. Now they want to do even more Resisting and go after Melania.

“I’m sick of just calling us ‘The Resistance,’” Rachelle says. I am too. They are now Book Club. I’m fine with that. It kind of makes me want to start an actual book club. (I don’t talk about it all that much, but I read a ton and always want to discuss books!)

At the office, the partners are arguing about how to handle Blum. Diane points out that Blum could work somewhere other than their office, and that the problem is having him in the building. She’s completely right. If Blum is in their space, with easy access to their files and staffers, he’s going to be harder to get rid of down the line. Adrian either doesn’t see it or doesn’t want to see it and says it’s not necessary to get a separate space. After all, they’re having their (highly paid) investigator watching him round the clock (really amazing use of resources) and he’s not a wizard. This is not a good counter argument. Diane is still right.

Liz’s take is also correct. She just wants to stop giving him attention, and I’m completely on board with that. He is a drain on their time and other resources and he “lives on attention,” so she wants to withhold it. Sounds like a plan to me! And the easiest way to starve him of attention is to send him off to some bland office space far away from anyone else. If he’s smashing windows and provoking every associate in his path, he’s going to be hard to ignore.

I like Marissa’s strategy for dealing with Blum too. She doesn’t let anything he says faze her (even when he talks about fucking her mother), replies back with snark, and eventually just starts singing show tunes in his face.

Marissa starts monologuing while Blum’s in the bathroom-- about how Blum is Jewish, about how he’s horrible but she likes him a little because he’s funny, and about how she can’t let him know she finds him amusing. I wish this monologue were a little longer; I think Sarah Steele does a really phenomenal job with it.

Lucca takes a meeting with Tituss Burgess (well, his character’s name is Wade V, but I’m so distracted by the familiar face!). He has a client who wants to speak with Lucca about a post-nup, but the client is a celebrity (he is a celebrity hairdresser) so everything’s top secret.

Jay does some digging to uncover who the star client might be. Did no one tell the person who populated the fake webpage with images that Megan Hilty is a character on this show? Or is it a strange little easter egg that she’s on this page, twice?

When Jay finds a picture of Wade V with Kim Kardashian, he decides that she MUST be his client and takes his hunch to both Lucca and Adrian immediately.

Just want to call out how much I love the face Lucca makes after Jay tells her it’s Kim Kardashian. She looks so amused and stunned!

Wade V’s client calls a burner phone. Lucca talks into it and gets no reply.

Adrian comes to Lucca’s office immediately after Wade leaves. He’s VERY excited about the Kimye divorce and wants to make a huge show. This is obviously the wrong call, and Lucca pushes back. “Lucca, this is a really big deal,” Adrian explains as though Lucca isn’t aware. Lucca pushes back more and explains her reasons for wanting it private; Adrian relents.

I’m enjoying the Lucca/Jay dynamic. It’s playful.

Blum has a half-naked woman parading through the office. Go away, please.

Adrian talks to Blum about how he has too many “personnel” accompanying him. You know where this would not be a problem? In a separate office facility, like Diane suggested. Adrian, you’re smart, but other people are sometimes allowed to have good ideas too.

Watching Blum seems like a terrible use of Marissa’s time. She’s good at it, but she’s also good at her real job.

Diane’s getting pretty serious about her axe throwing: she’s looking to buy her own set of axes.

Word has spread that there’s a Kardashian coming into the offices, and several associates decide to hot desk in reception.

I like that there are now a few named associates that I recognize. Even if they get, like, one line an episode, their presence makes it feel like the leads aren’t the only employees of the firm.

Lucca’s noon meeting arrives, and it’s not with a Kardashian. It’s with a blonde named Zelda. Jay tells Adrian they got a little ahead of themselves. Oh, really??? Googling his clients and deciding it must be Kim K, then spreading the word, wasn’t a good strategy?! I’m so shocked.

Zelda isn’t the client either. She hands Lucca a burner phone that immediately begins to ring. The woman on the phone has a thick Slovenian accent, and Lucca realizes that she’s talking to (someone who is supposed to be) Melania Trump.

And now it’s time for a song!

I don’t have much to say about the substance of this case, but they pull this off as best they can. Since the writers never confirm it is or isn’t Melania, the episode feels more character driven (how would these characters respond if…) and it doesn’t really matter if it’s realistic or not.

Lucca tells Jay she’s not sure if what just happened was a joke or not. She asks him to dig into Zelda Raye.

Marissa’s still trailing Blum. He runs into Lemond Bishop, and they start chatting. Marissa doesn’t stop him. Very effective. Almost as effective as having him in a separate space where he can’t run into anyone.

Lucca and Jay inform the partners (the ones that matter) about Melania. Liz laughs and Diane and Adrian look stunned. Liz doesn’t buy it: why would Melania want an opinion from a mid-sized firm, in Chicago, with mostly African American lawyers? Good question.

Liz and Diane convene an emergency meeting of the RBL chapter of Book Club to discuss whether this is a prank, a trap set by a mole within Book Club, or something for real.

Bishop wants to hire Blum in addition to RBL. Well, that was predictable.

Bishop gave $200,000 to Georgetown, because Dylan’s aged up several years and Georgetown is the only school these writers acknowledge. I hope Bishop didn’t get any college bribery advice from Flicka. Sounds like he “bribed” the admissions office the normal way, though.

Diane buys some fancy axes.

Zelda shows up at Lucca’s house with a ringing phone. It’s “Melania”. Lucca advises her to bring up divorce and Melania wants to get off the phone. Then Lucca mentions annulment, and Melania’s intrigued.

“America Goes Poddy” is still hilarious.

Diane and Liz tell the Book Club their theory about the leak-- and disclose that there’s a potential Melania divorce at their firm. Is that legal to disclose? Rachelle thinks there’s a chance it’s real.

Polly! That’s Young One Who Does Computer Things’s name!

Marissa’s still singing the same song at Blum. Heh.

Blum calls Julius in and offers to pull some strings and get him his judgeship. Julius turns it down and Marissa calls him out on it. She advises him to take Blum up on his offer and then piss him off later-- it’s what her father does, after all.

Wade arrive with a hatbox full of burners. One immediately starts buzzing and Lucca fumbles to find it.

“Melania” praises Lucca’s advice and says she wants a divorce. Lucca gets suspicious and asks about a well-known Melania impersonator. (I’m a little sad we didn’t get Laura Benanti on this episode.)

Vernon Jordan is back! He was in an early TGW ep, too.

Has the n-word been used on TGF before? Or is this scene the first time?

Zelda storms into Lucca’s office and begins to grab the burner phones like a child. Zelda’s firing Lucca, but it’s clear from her words and actions that this is coming from Zelda, not “Melania”.

“You’re mean!” Zelda exclaims as she stomps out. This is one of my favorite scenes of the episode simply because it’s SO WEIRD. “What the fuck?” Lucca mutters to herself before Zelda rushes back in to grab the phones AGAIN.

Jay intervenes, Zelda leaves, and Lucca and Jay start cracking up. This is delightfully absurd.

Julius takes Blum up on his offer. He also eats lettuce. Yes, that’s worth noting. If you’ve seen this scene, you understand what I mean.

“Melania” asks Lucca for the pee tape, which she knows is at RBL. This is news to Lucca. “We got played,” Diane responds the second she hears. I lean towards agreeing. There are too many coincidences here and not enough reasons Melania would go to Lucca out of all the lawyers. Could she choose the firm because it has the tape and still also think it’s a good firm? Maybe, but the firm having the tape would still be more important than the firm itself…

Lucca slowly realizes her firm has the Golden Shower tape. And no one told her.

Apparently Zelda also represents the Melania impersonator. Meh. Now Lucca’s supposed to break off all contact, which is probably the safe move.

“You told the receptionist to answer the phone, ‘Law offices of Roland Blum?’” Diane reprimands Blum. And the receptionist AGREED to do this? This is why he needs to NOT BE IN THEIR OFFICES. There is a clear solution here! I have no patience for Blum and even less patience for arguments about avoidable situations.

Bishop fired Charles Lester because he wants Blum. Damn. See, this is why you don’t take Bishop on as a client. It’s what I was just saying about avoidable situations: if you don’t want to ever have to decide if you want to let an obnoxiously loud man into your firm because he’s buddies with a drug dealer client of yours, you can start by not having a drug dealer client.

Wade comes back to talk Lucca into representing “Melania” again-- he offers a face to face meeting. Lucca accepts, then lies to Liz about it. This could blow up in her face, but I think she knows what she’s doing and it’s a calculated risk: if she goes and it is something real, Liz and the rest of the partners aren’t going to care that Lucca disobeyed them. And if she goes and it’s not real or it’s suspicious, who’s going to find out? (Well, unless there are cameras and/or it’s dangerous to go, but the chances of that seem slim to none.)

(Speaking of cameras, we ever going to acknowledge that Maia fucked someone on the office conference table and it was caught on camera or nah?)

OMG I haven’t even mentioned that Maia IS NOT IN THIS EPISODE yet. I forgot about her. She’s still credited and I don’t think she’s gone for good, but I can’t imagine there’s any Maia arc worth paying Rose Leslie for at least two episodes where she doesn’t have to do a thing. I do wonder if they’re phasing Maia out for S4, though.

Speaking of S4: YAY FOR RENEWAL!

Diane again suggests moving Blum offsite. PLEASE TAKE HER UP ON THIS.

Adrian explains that Blum is “a different flavor from what we’re used to” which is EXACTLY THE TYPE OF BULLSHIT LANGUAGE THAT KEEPS ABUSIVE WHITE MEN IN POWER. He is “a different flavor” and whatever flavor he is is unacceptable.

I also like Liz’s reaction to Blum: “I ignore him.” Unfortunately, Liz may be able to ignore him, but as we’ve seen already, others don’t have that much self-control. And no one should be expected to have that much self-control! Sure, Marissa and Liz can handle themselves around Blum-- but the receptionist couldn’t. Maia couldn’t. And while I blame Maia for her actions, she never would have acted out the way she did if the firm had supervised her properly while she was working with Blum.

The vote doesn’t go Diane’s way, so she goes to throw axes. Blum follows her there. She wants nothing to do with him, but he keeps blabbering. Shut up!

“I’m happy to become you in order to get you the fuck out of my way,” Diane tells Blum. I want to see that. (No one this season believes in the high road! Not a bad thing, necessarily-- just an observation.)

Lucca goes to the hotel room where she’s supposed to meet Melania, and “Melania” appears in shadow. That’s… about what I expected. So we never get an answer about if it’s her or if it’s not. That’s fine with me. I don’t really want an answer.

La la la, this scene is really long, I don’t care. The point is that she’s in shadow; I don’t care about anything else she’s saying because it’s either a fake who is a fake on the show, or someone who’s supposed to be real that is actually fake. Either way, why should I care?

“Melania” mentions the pee tape again, at which point it becomes clear (to Lucca) that this is not Melania. It’s also clear to me it isn’t her, but I have the benefit of knowing I’m watching a fictional tv show.

#tgfthoughts

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thisisawesomeness1825 · 5 years

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oops, i (fake) love you, ch. 07

vii. Annabeth

"Okay, so what's gonna be our backstory?" Annabeth asks after she took out a pen and paper from her bag. Percy sits across her, fiddling with the loose thread of his pillow.

"I don't know. Maybe one day you wake up and you realize that I'm an awesome person after all," he offers.

"That's impossible. They won't believe that."

"Me being an awesome person or you suddenly not hating me?"

She gives him her signature glare. "Both."

Leaning her head back, she thinks about how to convince everyone with the supposed authenticity of their relationship. Obviously, it's impossible not to arouse suspicion when you suddenly date your enemy. Most people would likely think that they're onto something beyond dating, which is what they're actually doing in the first place. Nevertheless, they still need to achieve everyone's acceptance, especially Percy's friends, if they want to be successful with this mission.

"How about we just stick with the truth?" she asks. Percy looks up curiously. "I think it would be more believable to tell something that actually happened, than making something out of the blue. Then we can just tweak it up a little bit."

"That's reasonable," he says in agreement. "Do you think the pool incident would be a nice starting point?"

"Well, how would you make a story around that?"

"For a start, we'll use the same facts. After swim practice, I stumble upon you drowning in the pool, and I came to save you. Then, probably you realize that I wasn't really a 'jerk' as you initially thought," he explains, using air quotes for the word 'jerk'.

Annabeth nods. That seems like a good plan. "After that realization, we both apologized for being rude to each other. And as part of the apology and for saving me, I treated you out for dinner," she adds.

"Then, we exchanged numbers and began secretly seeing each other until we agreed to go out officially," Percy finished. He glances at her. "Do you think that's enough?"

"I suppose so. It seems believable enough." She shrugs. "Not that I'd consider doing that in real life since you're not exactly the best person to be around."

"Gee, thanks for the support."

Annabeth tucks her notes in her bag and brings out a color-coded planner with matching sticky notes. The use of different colors makes it easier for her to organize her stuff, as time-consuming it may seem. "So, when can we start our swimming lessons?" she asks. "I can't do it next week since I still have to organize the Freshman Welcoming Party, but my schedule is free after that."

His eyebrows bunch up like a confused kid. "Are you okay with meeting every Wednesday and Friday after next week?"

"Yep. That's settled then," she confirms. "Did you read lesson outline for the next topic?"

"Uh yeah? I did," he admits with hesitation like he isn't sure whether he actually read it or not. "Although, I wasn't—"

Without a warning, she moves closer to stare at his eyes. She cuts him off with a soft smile, "I like how green your eyes are. It makes me want to lose myself in your gaze."

Annabeth waits for a moment for that to sink into Percy, and the blush that appears on his cheeks makes her grin wider. "Um, thanks?" he mumbles.

"That's flirting," she says, as she leans back to her personal space. "You didn't really read the outline, did you?"

"I did! But I wasn't able to finish it," he exclaims. His eyes meet hers. "How do you do it so effortlessly?"

"Well, it takes confidence to be able to do that without stuttering. And some flowery words to make it effective. Basically, it's just like giving a compliment but with extra frostings."

"Frostings?"

"Yeah. To make it more appealing," she says. "It worked for you, didn't it?"

He shrugs, but there are still faint traces of red on his cheeks.

"Anyway, there are several forms of flirting, but that's the easiest thing to learn," she says. She crosses her arms on her chest. "Try it on me. Flirt with me."

"Um, you're...nice?"

Annabeth rolls her eyes. He clearly doesn't give the effort to do it. "C'mon. You're not trying."

His eyes squint like he's trying to find something to compliment. "Your hair looks nice today," he says at last.

Her expression doesn't change, but she supposes it is better than the last. "I guess that's better. Keep practicing that."

"Okay."

She brings up the latest scoresheet. "So, I gave you a score of 80 out of 100 today. There's still a lot of room for progress so you better step up your game."

"Yes, ma'am."

Piper

If there's something Piper is good at, it's sensing whether someone is lying or not. And as of now, her senses are flashing red flags around Percy.

Friendship-wise, she wants to believe him. She wants to agree and be happy that he's now finally found someone—even if it is in the shape of his old nemesis, Annabeth Chase. God knows how many times she's spotted him casting longing and sad glances to their fellow friend Rachel that in a way, it makes her ache for him too. All she wants for him is to be happy, and not constantly stuck in the friend zone.

But more importantly, she wants him safe and happy, and not at the mercy of his old enemy. Piper doesn't know for sure, but she feels that there is something fishy in the relationship between Percy and Annabeth. Although they are trying to be open with their relationship, something still feels off. And she wants to figure out what.

"Hey, guys! In here," she stage-whispers, beckoning in the empty classroom behind her.

Jason, Leo, Grover, and Rachel enters after her, and she closes the door stealthily like a spy. You can't blame her for wanting to take advantage of the opportunity to be one.

"So, no one saw you come in here?" she asks. Everybody shakes their head. "That's great."

"Why the emergency meeting, Beauty Queen?" Leo asks.

"First of all, don't call me Beauty Queen. And second, we need to talk about Percy's love life."

"Well, that's interesting," Jason quips. He looks around them for a second, then his eyes widen. "Oh, that's why Percy's not here."

Piper raises her eyebrow at the amused look in Jason's face, then turns serious immediately. "Anyway, didn't you notice something strange with Percy earlier?"

"You mean, aside from suddenly having a girlfriend that he didn't tell us before?" Grover asks incredulously.

"Yeah, Percy and Annabeth's interaction certainly looked forced," Rachel says. "I confronted him about it earlier, but he denied that it was fake."

"Do you think he's lying?" Jason asks. Grover gasps suddenly. "Oh no! What if Annabeth's holding him hostage, and she makes him lie to us about it?"

"You certainly have a wide imagination, Grover," Piper deadpans. She turns to everyone. "Anyway, if Percy and Annabeth are really hiding something from us, we need to catch them red-handed."

"And how would we do that? I'm up if it involves seducing Annabeth," Leo says with a wink. "You know, girls can't get enough of me."

Piper rolls her eyes. "No, the plan doesn't involve seduction, but we need them to slip up from their act if they are indeed faking it."

"We need to probe them about their relationship until they slip up," Rachel suggests. "I'm thinking some of us would have to go on a double date with them."

"Yeah! In that way, we can see if they really are being serious or are just faking it," Grover adds. "So, who's going to pretend to be a couple?"

"They must be compatible with each other," Jason suggests. For a second, Piper sees his gaze drift to her, but that might just be her imagination.

"I'm thinking you and Piper," Rachel suggests with a shrug. "You two seem like the most compatible couple for me."

The suggestion makes Piper's cheeks flush for no reason at all. "That's not true! I can be compatible with Leo or Grover."

Leo smirks at her. "I like how you want to be my pretend girlfriend Mclean, but I think you and Jason are fit for the job."

"How about you Grover?"

"I'm in with Rachel and Leo's suggestion," Grover says. "Besides, fake dating Jason couldn't be too bad, right?"

Jason blushes to the tips of his hair. It's adorable, Piper thinks. No, wait, her mind backtracks. He's a dork. It's adorkable.

"Okay," Piper agrees. "Are you okay with it, Jason?"

"Uh, um, yeah. Sure."

"Cool."

Annabeth

It feels weird to be fake dating your enemy. Much more a boy she used to crush on.

Okay. There. She said it. For all that deeply buried anger and feelings of resentment, it might be impossible that there once existed a universe where she used to like Percy Jackson. Used to. The use of past tense is very important.

But before their feud, it might not be that hard to believe considering they've hung out with each other for five years. From the first time they met when they 7 on that muddy playground up to the time when they were 12 and things began to get awry, they've been practically attached to the hip. Since they were neighbors and classmates at the local school, most of their free time was spent around each other—joking, playing, and basically being a kid. He'd never left her even if he found out that girls have cooties (which is so not true), and the first round of acne began to show up on her face.

It might just be the influence of Taylor Swift's 'You Belong with Me' and other songs that were popular then, but she started to see her best friend as a boy, and a cute one at that (although she supposes, in a scrawny kind of way).

Anyway, she's way past that crush, and any feelings she has for him are now transformed into anger and bitterness.

For the first time, she actually sits beside Percy in their mythology class. Interestingly, few of their classmates are surprised. "You ready for later?" she asks.

"I think so." He turns to her. "Do you think we should have pet names?"

Pet names sound like a bit of a stretch. She doesn't really understand why people prefer to be called babe, sweetie, and other cutesy stuff which sound like overripe fruit. "Nah. I don't do pet names. Besides, it seems a little awkward to do that."

"Sure."

Annabeth turns back to her desk and picks up her book. Time shouldn't be wasted doing idle things when she can opt to spend it on productive activities.

"Hey, Annabeth?" she hears him ask, and her gaze shifts from the book to him. "Yeah?"

"You should wear your hair down more," Percy says. He grins at her, much like the boy she used to hang out with. "It makes you look like a princess."

She remembers hearing that same phrase ages ago when a little kid of ebony hair runs up to her on the swings and tugs at her curls.

"Let go of my hair!" she tells at the boy.

The said boy, with green eyes alight with mischief, grins at her toothily. "You look like a princess."

Against her will, her lips turn up into a smile. "Well done. You've earned yourself some brownie points," she says.

"Great!" He smirks at her. "Looks like you're not too hard to please."

"Oh, I'm hard to please, alright." Like a kid who opened her gifts early, she beams at him. "Seems like you've got yourself a challenge, Jackson."

"Huh, good thing I like challenges then."

Once the lunch bell rings, Annabeth is already walking down the hallways. Her last class before lunch ended early, so she's got quite a brief free period. Good thing when she finally reached the cafeteria, Percy is the only one around yet on the table.

"Remember the plan?" she asks once she's finally seated beside him. She lays her hand palms up on her thighs. "Don't forget to hold my hand."

Percy still looks a little uncomfortable, but he manages to hold her hand without flinching. "Yeah, I remember."

"Why is your hand so clammy?" she complains. She's not really fond of holding hands; that sort of thing just makes it difficult to move around knowing that you only have one hand that is free to use. Percy's sweaty hands don't really make it better.

He frowns at her. "I don't know. Better get used to it."

Just then, the rest of Percy's friends arrive at the table. Grover greets them first, "Hey!"

Piper smiles apologetically at her. "Sorry we got off on the wrong foot yesterday. We're just really shocked by the news. It's not like every day Percy suddenly gets a new girlfriend. Much more someone he used to fight with."

"It's fine. I understand your point," Annabeth says. She looks at Percy for a small smile and lightly squeezes his hand. "We're just glad that you accepted it."

Rachel looks at them skeptically, like she's nowhere near accepting it.

"Anyway," Piper clasps her hands, "Welcome to our little friendship circle. I'm Piper."

"I'm Jason," the blonde boy with glasses says as he extends his hand to her. "Grover," says a boy with the goatee.

"Hot Leo at your service," a scrawny boy with dark unruly curls exclaims with a wink.

"Hey," Rachel mutters under her breath.

"Now that we're all acquainted, I hope you don't mind us asking but how did you two get together?" Piper asks.

"Actually, it started in the pool. I was closing the pool when I saw her flailing on the water, and I just dived in after her. There was no question of whether we're friends or not," Percy says.

"And I realized that we aren't all that much different and that he doesn't suck so bad as I used to believe. We sort of had a long talk after that," Annabeth adds. "And a dinner, then we exchanged numbers. We decided to keep it low since we're not entirely sure where this will go."

"Up until we agreed to be official," Percy finishes with a small smile.

Grover, Jason and Leo nod like they're now agreeing with the story. Rachel just sort of raises her brows in the story, like she's not sure whether to believe it or not. Piper just smirks, like she's up to something really interesting. Or trouble.

"Great! How would you like to go on a double date with Jason and I this Saturday?" she asks.

A/N: Sorry for the late update! My writing time got held up since I binged watch Brooklyn Nine-Nine, and I'm still caught in the cuteness that is Jake and Amy. Anyway, sorry for this crappy chapter, I didn't really liked how this turned out.

Also, my classes start next week, so this might be the last regular update for now. I will try to write if I have the free time, or if I really get motivated to write the chapter.

Lastly, don't forget to leave your thoughts on this!

#oops i (fake) love you #my fic #percabeth #pjo #hoo #fake dating au

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spaceorphan18 · 6 years

Text

Finding Kurt Hummel: New New York

Masterpost

5x14: New New York

Ah, we’ve finally reached it - the beloved New York arc, and my personal favorite episode of the show. I realize it’s taken me forever to get back to this - but these episodes are going to take some time to do, there’s just so much Kurt! Yay!!

I think the show did something smart by narrowing the cast down. One of the reasons the NYArc works so well is that there are really only six-ish characters, and the story lines are once again allowed to breathe and everyone gets equal focus. It’s such the ideal - I’m already sad that this only for a limited time.

Downtown

We open with the song Downtown - which works as an introduction to the New York arc. Here we are - New York! And it’s a nice set piece to reorient the show in it’s new location. (Funny - this song has always reminded me of the opening of Lost’s Third Season - but that’s commentary for another day.)

Anyway - after a year and a half, Kurt finally gets to sing his way out of the subway like everyone else. This song kind of makes New York seem idyllic and peaceful, which is a misnomer because we all know shit is gonna go down soon - but for now, enjoy the pretty sights downtown because it’ll give you a nice (false) sense of security. And I like how Kurt swings himself around the lamp post - just like the old school musicals, taking everything in as he sings.

It’s been 84,000 years - but Blaine has finally made it to New York as well!! And now that they’ve been there for six-ish months (c’mon - it would have been nice to see some of that honeymoon stage, but whatever...) they’ve seem to have a nice routine going. I’m sure this is their usual coffee shop - and oh, look, Kurt’s reading an actual newspaper. It’s like it’s the olden times. Except, in olden times, Kurt and Blaine wouldn’t really be able to walk around freely as fiances.

Ah, look at how cute these two goobers are singing about how lovely life is. Do you guys remember when this was being filmed, and if you turn the camera around - there were about a million fans watching? Ah man.

Also, that’s Washington Park. I once decided to sit and read a book there. Until two women decided they needed to beat the shit out of each other while their boyfriends watched. Kinda felt like that was my cue to leave. Oh New York - you are a lovely city, but not as idyllic as Glee would have you believe.

The boys meet up with Artie and Sam - which I’m sure happens on a regular basis, too. Rachel pulls up in her towncar - and I kind of love the look on Kurt’s face. Everyone else is happy to see Rachel - and Kurt’s, like, wtf are you riding in. Yeah - he and Blaine might have their ups and downs in this episode, but Kurt is completely unimpressed with Rachel throughout this entire episode, lol.

So... this is what cracks me up. Kurt is all eye roll-y at Rachel about the car - and about the fact that Rachel decided to move back into the loft, but didn’t lift a finger to help (god...). But when she offers them a ride, both he and Blaine are like - um, yup, we’re going with Rachel - which is kind of rude to Artie (and Sam) who are stuck walking to the restaurant that they’re all going to.

And this is where I take a moment to say that NYC is hard -- it’s not easy on the poor (Sam) or the disabled (Artie), and at least the show takes a second to show that. And as an aside, I’m glad they take some time to develop Sam as someone who prefers the country. As much as NYC is built up, it’s nice to show that it’s not for everyone - and there’s nothing wrong with you if you /don’t/ want to live in the city.

Domesticity

Ah, and here we get a small snapshot of their world while living together. I mean, I couldn’t sleep with Blaine literally on top of me, but the shot is gorgeous and it’s a shame that we didn’t get to see more than these tiny little moments. But at least we can look at this, and this sequence, and piece together what eventually their real life will be together. For now, however, there’s a lot of “playing house” as Blaine preps breakfast for the hundredth time since he’s moved in.

Interestingly, this the morning after the bed bug stuff - so I’m assuming Blaine is making breakfast not only because that’s his thing since he’s moved to New York, but also a way of an apology, too. Kurt insists that he doesn’t - I’m sure a kid who’s used to doing things on his own for a long, long time really wouldn’t get used to this kind of attention, but it’s easy to give in when everything is ready to go for you.

As they have their breakfast, Blaine catches us up on the past few months - Blaine has moved into the loft, and has spending every second of every day with Kurt - just soaking in all the Kurt. And as much as Kurt probably loves being with Blaine all the time, too -- I mean look how hot Blaine looks in this scene (!!) spending every second of every day with someone can be, well, stifling -- not matter how much you love them. And this is what the entire episode is going to be about...

Kurt mentions they’re turned into an old married couple already - and in a way they have, but I think what Kurt’s more so wanting to express is the fact that they’ve been joined at the hip since Blaine got to New York. And as much as he had wanted it back when he was in high school (see: The Purple Piano Project) the reality of that - especially for someone like Kurt who needs his space and alone time - is that it’s not the greatest thing in practice. Blaine, however, trying so hard to hold onto Kurt - is ignoring the signs of Kurt’s discomfort - and thus we have Blaine singing, ironically, You Make Me Feel So Young.

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This song is nearly impossible to still - so here, have the entire song.

I know when this first aired, there were some criticisms that Kurt wasn’t all into it -- but I don’t really agree at all? At first, when Blaine gets clingy - Kurt’s a little hesitant, because that boy needs some space. And that’s one of the things the boys need to learn about each other - that Blaine needs reassurance that he’s loved, so he reaches out to the point of suffocation, but Kurt needs space - and when he’s able to get that, he can return affection to Blaine easily, but when he doesn’t he tries to distance himself and it’s a vicious cycle of misunderstanding. Really - they just need to talk with each other - and not sing duets. But! That’s what this New York arc is all about.

But - as the song goes, Kurt is delightfully happy, dancing around with Blaine, doing domestic-y things like making the bed, brushing teeth, picking out Blaine’s wardrobe. It’s all those things that Burt mentioned in Love, Love, Love - but like Burt said, it’s not all about that - it’s about finding a balance with your partner, and our boys are still learning that.

The song is almost perfect for their situation right now -- Blaine says that Kurt makes him feel so young. But they’re already young! They shouldn’t need to express that! But doubly so - they’re just about to come out of the honeymoon stage of living together. Being in a relationship is not just sunshine and roses and great days - but hard work. Again - this is what they’re learning in this arc (and season 6.)

Meanwhile, as a duet, I think they sound great here - it is a nice balance of their voices. And it’s fun and flirty and works really well with the both of them.

Meanwhile, after they’re finished up their shopping trip Kurt’s all ready to jump Blaine on the couch. That is until Sam stops them cause he’s back from running and is going to take a shower and be all up in their space. And Kurt looks like he’s going to murder someone. Cause unlike Tina’s fantasy - the real Kurt will cut a bitch if you interrupt sexy times.

Here’s the thing, though - if Blaine needs verbal emotional reassurance - Kurt needs it in a physical sense. And you know what Kurt’s probably not been getting a lot of since Blaine’s moved in? Sex. Look - the boy who was once told that no one would ever want to touch him gets off a lot on being touched. And, on top of that, Burt was right, once you start - you’re not gonna stop. If I had to guess - not only does Kurt use sex as a way to connect and reconnect with Blaine, but he also uses it as a stress relief. And his life, right now, is jumbled up with a ton of people and a ton of stresses and god dammit - can’t he just have this one thing? Nope --

So it’s no surprise that Kurt gets huffy - and yells at Blaine that there are too many people in the house - and that ideally, Sam has got to go. His anger is more than just about Sam, but it’s currently the easiest target. Ah, poor, resigned Blaine, who probably really would have liked to have sex just then, too.

Trapped in a Box

First of all, I wanna say -- Hi Will! - I see you! Season 5 has a lot of cast family members showing up - Chris’s boyfriend, Lea’s dad, Darren’s parents! It’s like - hey end of the show is coming up, gotta get everyone in now! I am still a little sad Mia never made it in. Anyway, on to the show...

It must be, like, first day back for winter semester - and Blaine’s managed to get himself in 6 out of 8 of Kurt’s classes - including Mime Class. I mean, this scene is totally played up for comedy, which really works - especially a lot of the physical comedy. But - of course - there’s something deeper going on, too. Because it’s all about that being trapped in a box metaphor.

The thing is though - Blaine directly asks Kurt if he’s the one who’s doing the suffocating. And Kurt says no. Why? Maybe cause he doesn’t want to hurt Blaine’s feelings? Maybe cause he doesn’t want to admit that his perfect life with Blaine isn’t working? Maybe cause he’s placing all his issues on Sam? That’s the thing though - Kurt needs to be honest about himself and his needs and when he figures it out - he can communicate it to Blaine truthfully. Oh boys, you’ve got a ways to go. In the meantime, Blaine’s getting physically up in his space and Kurt’s about done.

Also, interestingly, when Kurt asks if Sam is on his way out, he also mentions that they haven’t had a moment to themselves, which I believe has double meaning. First the obvious undertones of - /I/ haven’t a moment to myself in this crazy loft. But secondly, goes back to the fact that with all the time he and Blaine have been spending together - they haven’t had the chance to be as intimate as Kurt would probably like either.

So - later that day (and it is the same day since Kurt is wearing the same clothes he had on in the earlier scene) - he’s trying to help Artie with the whole being mugged thing. But then Blaine is busy with the soda machine and Rachel is all caught up in her own drama.

I kind of love the bubble machine moment - because this is truly a married couple moment. Sometimes, your partner is going to be annoying - especially when they get obsessed with something as stupid as bubbles and soda machines. You love them anyway, but dear god - if Kurt has to hear that bubble thing one more time... I love it, they are adorable.

Oh kid, I feel ya - I really do!

See, it’s not just Blaine, it’s really not. It is partially the fact that Sam has been living on the couch. The fact that Artie’s life is in disarray and there isn’t much do to fix the situation. The fact that Rachel is a high maintenance mess. The fact that he got mostly no sleep the previous night because bed bugs. And let’s face it - when was the last time Kurt got properly laid. And let’s not forget Kurt is an only child who is used to being in control of his life. All these variables are damn stressful. To top it all off - they’re in a loft, where there is no second room he can go to and slam the door. It’s really pretty amazing that Kurt didn’t snap right here.

Be a Rockstar

So, later in the evening, probably as a chance to get away - Kurt’s hanging out with Elliott. Elliott’s all band talk - but Kurt’s got other things on his mind. He hasn’t slept at all. Elliott ribs him about it being sexy times, and Kurt wishes, but no, it’s not that. And then we go into the tale about Kurt’s furniture being uncomfortable so Blaine tries to find something new, only it has bed bugs and their evening is spent disinfecting the apartment.

And Elliott’s just kind of amused. Because this is what living in the city is like. It’s not all perfect and roses and rainbows and happiness. Sometimes it sucks. I’m glad that the show is finally taking a moment to show that NYC isn’t as perfect as it seems (even if they continue with the improbable plots.)

Meanwhile, Kurt thinks the couch is an omen for his relationship with Blaine - nice on the outside but riddled with bedbugs on the inside. And Elliott again, is amused, cause unlike any other character on this show, other than Burt, he gets it. Kurt and Blaine’s relationship is not doomed because the shine has worn off. They just need to talk to each other, and set boundaries, and understand that they’re individual people, and talk to each other.

This is why I love Elliott - and wish he was around, especially to knock some sense into Kurt during season 6. I also think it’s a nice moment when Elliott says that what Kurt and Blaine have is real and that he’s super jealous of it. It’s unfortunate that we don’t always get to see further exploration of their full relationship, especially more happier moments between the two of them. But Elliott’s been around them now for months - and has had to hear Kurt talk about Blaine for months (as he tells Blaine, Kurt won’t shut up about him). And Kurt’s a bit comforted and smiles when Elliott says it. Cause he really doesn’t want his relationship to fail. He’s just struggling.

And Elliott lays it out straight -- talk to your boyfriend Kurt!!

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Meanwhile, Elliott reminds Kurt to not forget about his band that will be pretty much forgotten after this episode.

The song, however, is Rockstar and absolutely delightful even if I really can’t find any good connection to Kurt’s story. But Kurt gets to relax a bit as Adam Lambert graces us with his Rock Star Quality one last time.

Ah man - I’m really going to miss him.

Calm Down, Psycho

Oh - demon!Kurt - scary.

So, clearly, Kurt didn’t take Elliott’s advice and go home and talk to Blaine. Cause this is the evening of the next day (?) the time line is still kinda screwy. But they’re wearing different clothes. Anyway - Kurt’s had a long day, and comes home to Blaine having moved all the furniture around so he can feel more at home in the loft.

Btw - this whole argument makes me wonder if during the initial set up, Rachel just let Kurt do all the designing.

Anyway - this is what happens when you don’t talk about issues - the bubble over and you start yelling at each other. Granted - most of the time in real life, they aren’t this funny (cause let’s face it, Glee’s still a comedy, and this argument is pretty funny).

So - what can we learn from this argument? Well - Kurt is clearly having boundary issues and not talking to Blaine about them -- bottling up your feelings is not good. But, he’s also wanting to be too much in control, and not realizing that Blaine is another person that is allowed to have his own personal space. Compromise and sharing is still a thing Kurt needs to learn.

Meanwhile, Blaine is just as bad at communication - and so worried about things falling apart with Kurt that he’s illogically blaming his issues on the presence of Elliott. Kurt is clearly confused why Elliott is an issue, but Blaine’s would rather blame an external issue than realize there’s an internal one.

The nice thing is that they’re both at fault for not talking to the other one about the issues of living in the loft together.

As an aside - I kinda cracked up when Blaine mentions that god knows what their roommates hear from them -- there are more sex references in this episode than I realized.

Anyway - Blaine storms out -- and this is the thing that has me curious. When he goes to see Elliott, and in their talk with each other, both Kurt and Blaine have changed outfits. So... just how long was Blaine gone? At least a night has passed? If so - that means when Kurt’s waiting for Blaine, there’s a layer of worry on top of it cause it’s not something they fixed that night - some time has passed.

Also - shoutout to the Sage Glitter Rock Vampire that is Elliott. And Elliott not only knows how to calm Blaine down, but he reassures him that Kurt loves him dearly, and basically gives Blaine the same advice in that you need a) space and b) to talk to each other.

(Btw - I know the scene is only Elliott and Blaine - but it’s hilarious and I needed to mention it. But also, clearly Sam, Rachel, and Artie are not big on friend duties cause Kurt and Blaine are relying on Elliott to help them out. I’m not surprised they have communication issues, cause they don’t really have any good role models either.)

The Talk

So, I’m guessing that it’s been a good 24 hours since they’re fight - and Kurt’s now had plenty of alone time to sit and think about life and his relationship. And when Blaine comes home, Kurt’s not really angry - but he’s worried. Cause relationships, he thought, weren’t supposed to be hard, and this is. But additionally - Blaine’s been gone a long time. And this is the moment where I remind my audience just how much Kurt loves Blaine - cause Kurt’s worried just about /Blaine/ being okay, too. So, there’s a little relief when he returns, but more anxiety because that means they have to face this big thing together.

I like, also, before they really get into the heart of their talk that Blaine mentions that Elliott’s a good friend. Not only does Kurt say that yes - he’s one of the only friends he’s got in New York (cause let’s face it - were Rachel and Santana ever being good friends? Not really) but also gets that whole aspect out of the way. Their issues and their fight are not about third parties - they really never are. It’s about their own dynamics and their own issues.

Blaine sits down and says the one thing that Kurt had been avoiding thinking about - even if it was in the back of his mind. That their current living situation isn’t working. And, god, does that hurt Kurt to even admit that - cause he, as well as Blaine, wanted so badly for this to be their happily ever after.

But the thing is - Blaine’s right -- this whole loft situation is not the ideal first living situation to be in. And he’s also right that they jumped into things without discussing them first. They were so excited to just be together in New York that they didn’t plan anything, or address that there might be issues going forward.

Now, do I agree that Blaine moving out is the best choice? No, not really - as Kurt says, it is like a step backwards - but narratively, they wanted Blaine with Sam and Mercedes and they didn’t want to break up Rachel and Kurt for reasons I don’t fully understand. Ideally - I’d have gotten the two of them their own place with walls and doors and a place where they could figure their shit out on their own. But -- you know, Glee wasn’t about to let Klaine have their own separate apartment, so...

I’d also like to mention that Kurt isn’t really thrilled with Blaine’s idea. He doesn’t want Blaine to leave, but he recognizes that something has to change. Unfortunately, they’re still young and growing and don’t have the tools or experience to figure out how to fix what’s wrong. So - in a way, I get this solution. Blaine doesn’t know how to give Kurt emotional space - so let’s try physical instead.

The thing I like about this scene is that while they’re faced with making a decision that neither of them really wants to make - they are here sitting about it and talking about it. And the decision is made together. And - they reassure how important they are to each other. No one says ‘I love you’ in this scene. But it’s underscored in promise they make to each other. But Blaine reaffirms that they’re together and they’re going to stay that way. While Kurt reassures Blaine that their relationship is very precious to him, and that they’ll always belong together.

This scene kinda sucks in the change of status quo for them (again - for story purposes - fine whatever Glee, don’t let the engaged couple live together). But it’s very sweet and heart felt and really shows the connection they do have when they actually sit down to talk to one another -- which they really be doing more often. (Cause they’re going to not talk again - which leads to issues further on.)

And finally, they reconnect in a way that they are used to connecting...

It’s funny that Kurt claims that this really wasn’t an argument - just two adults discussing things, and maybe this conversation was - but you guys have a while before I count you as full on adults. A few more growing pain in there. But for now - the band-aid works, and lesson one of many has been learned.

I kinda love how Kurt just melts under Blaine’s touch. Yeah, you go get that hot make-up sex, Kurt ;)

Changes

So, after Artie’s tale of how he took charge in his life - Kurt and Blaine explain that Blaine is going to move out! And everyone is rightfully shocked at that. Keep in mind, guys, just because Blaine “moves out” doesn’t really mean he’s going anywhere - since we’ll see him in the loft all the time in Kurt’s room, lol.

Kurt claims that it’s a chance for Blaine to form his own New York identity. Well -- that’s what Kurt did, but they’re different people, and I don’t think it works the same way for Blaine, even if I do agree with what Kurt says - that Blaine needs to know who he is as person not glued to Kurt’s hip. And what he doesn’t say is that Kurt is the one who needs to have some space every once in a while. Whatever - I don’t think anyone but us fans cares about the details.

And then Mercedes arrives solving all of Blaine (and Sam)’s housing issues ;)

So - they’re now at the townhouse helping Mercedes move in. And you know what - Kurt is far more done with Rachel in this episode than he ever is with Blaine. God, she’s getting irritating, and Kurt is not afraid of thinking it.

I’m guessing after they’ve got Mercedes moved in, Kurt and Blaine go walk around town - just themselves, hand in hand, being cute and buying flowers for each other. And I like that they get this moment of just sweet couple-ness -- not only as a gay couple, but as just a couple who do enjoy spending time with each other and being with each other when they’ve at least worked through some of their shit. It’s a quiet but lovely couple of little moments. And yes, I would have liked more of them throughout his arc - but at least we got a few.

And of course their new tradition of Monday Night dinners start - and Kurt’s happy, and everyone’s happy, and this would have made a great pilot for a new spin-off show, and it’s tragic that it’s not. Ah well... Hello New York Arc! How I loved you, even if you were cut too short. :D

#finding kh #kurt hummel

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rollertoasteroflife · 6 years

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get to know me tag

tagged by an actual angel @alipiee

Age: 21

Birthplace: England

Current Time: 22:01

Drink You Last Had: peppermint tea

Easiest Person to Talk to: my ma if I’m having issues usually or @deaded123 and @showmethestarlight if I want to discuss obscure aspects of society and potential fictional worlds and like anything really?? They’re awesome

Favourite Song: err right now probs dream by imagine dragons

Grossest Memory: um i accidentally stabbed myself a few years ago and couldn’t stop it bleeding and couldn’t find anyone else to help me it was not fun and very bloody

Hogwarts House: slytherin!!

In Love: sadly i am an emotionless void and am content with being thus aka nope never

Jealous of People: sometimes of people’s talent and health but in general no, i’m pretty cool

Killed Someone: not that i’m aware of

Love at First Sight or Should I Walk by you Again: ahahah i am dense and prefer being friends with people so try walking past like 10 times befriending me for at least 6 months and then try again?

Middle Name: rachel (i had to think a worryingly long time to remember this...like i never use it??)

Number of Siblings: 2 half siblings

One Wish: to be content. also more cats

Person you Called Last: i rang my grandma yesterday and my ma rang me today. I pretty much only ring my family...I miss them

Question you are Always Asked: errrrm oh actually i got people asking for clarification when i give them my surname because my surname is confusing apparently, i just automatically spell it after saying it now because it’s easier

Reasons to Smile: plants, friends, books, tea, embroidery, pomegranates

Song you Sang Last: I’m currently humming along to music which I think is used by vikings to exorcise people and I have no regrets. actually singing tho i think was p!nk’s funhouse

Time you Woke Up: 8:45am so i could watch figure skating world championships...

Underwear Color: black

Worst Habit: I don’t brush my hair nearly as much as i should considering how easily it tangles

X-Rays: once when i got braces like 8 years ago?

Your Favourite Food: a proper roast dinner....or one of the full on mezes my family do when I’m home like oh my god yes so much good food

Zodiac Sign: leo

thanks for enabling my oversharing <3

not gonna tag cos i do these a lot but if you wanna do it then please do :D

#toasterrambles #like seriosuly my name confuses so many people and it's not even that bad but no one can fucking spell it #doing forms and shit takes forever cos i get filed wrong a lot #wtf you have to get married ma the surname is annoying

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survivormagictreehouse · 4 years

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Episode #7 “#Zachexposed Party” -Jess

-VI was voted out and now I’m forever sad. I wish you the best VI and hope you feel better soon! Goal #1 can never be accomplished now so that’s a bummer. But at least my alliance member RACHAEL wasn’t voted out! And now we’re doing Touchy Subjects with 95% negative answers. Drama here we come!

-We won another Challenge! Annie Tribe curse has been officially broken! Touchy Subjects was the name, and me winning was the game. I don’t ducking know. But I scored the highest on my tribe and won a ~mysterious package~ which turned out to be an idol clue. “Find the idol will no longer be a walk on the shore. In order to succeed, two items you will need.” So at least three searches in the idol search I suppose. I might share the clue with JESS and BIRCH and have them help me find the idol. Though I might just tell them part of the clue or something so they don’t have the whole picture. I’m undecided. I’m really hoping the other tribe votes off ALI, COLLIN or RUTHIE, since I think I’m the least likely to work with any of those three. RACHAEL must stay, BODHI I could work with and TIMMY I’m neutral on. CINDI is a bit of a wildcard but I think I could manage to work with her as well. JESS is speculating there’s a merge after the vote and I’m inclined to agree with that. A new idol search and we’ll be at 13 players which is a typical merge. I did not come into this game expecting to win, or even make the merge. But now I think I have a real shot at going far. Imagine me getting to FTC twice in a row in Atomic. How cool would that be?

Death by Skittle

-(this is for last round i am a bit late) Last round in the video challenge, which I ended up somehow becomming the editor for. First of all, I asked for the video clips to be in by sunday night so that I could do the video and be done with it, but Chips put it off and ended up making us wait till Monday morning which really set us back. Then Keegan submitted videos with almost no sound and little feeling so it was hard to use any of his clips. Then Jess decided to edit the video I made, and when she did that the lyrics didnt match the song anymore and it almost cost us the challenge. We also found out Birch has a +10 advantage, so need to be aware of that.Birch and Chips are my biggest targets on this tribe, and i am still ina really good spot with Zach and Jess, and close allies with Gavin and Keegan

-This round was touchy subjects. The tribe thought that I was the mvp of the tribe which makes me a possible target with the merge coming up. It was also revealed birch is not in a great place on my tribe and they also said they believe the majority of the tribe thinks I am next to go. I am concerned about my placement with them. Overall this round made me a bit nervous, but excited to hope for a merge in the future.

-There's a Mesopotamia/Svalbard alliance with Bodhi, Rachael, Collin, and me which I love cause I love all those people except Rachael sometimes but she hasn't had to do schoolwork once this game so that's nice. I'm just kidding I love Rachael as long as she doesn't have homework. Cause when she has homework that means she's voting me out. I swear the moment she has to do schoolwork its' done. And then Ali and Bodhi are on weird ground because of how Bodhi got rid of Ali in Lover BUT I REALLY WANT US TO HAVE AN ALLIANCE CALLED THE LOVERS CAUSE 1) Ali is very loyal so, like, I want to work with him 2) THAT NAME IS GREAT AND I DEMAND IT IN MY LIFE Then there's Timmy who has only spoken to me on call or in tribe chat. Nothing beyond that. So, like, bye Timmy. Bodhi also has an issue with Timmy but Rachael swears he's okay. But I don't want to have two Timmys anyway. What even are their last initials? Don't care enough to learn them. BYE TIMMY! Then there's Ruthie who is very sweet and I don't think super strategic? At least not at this point. She just seems like a nice mom. I don't even know if she is a mom. But she would be a nice one to, like, a 3? year old. Idk. Mom vibes. So I'd like to keep her in and I'm assuming that touchy subjects leads to a swap or merge (but this is a very early merge) so, like, hopefully she doesn't have to go after Timmy. It's absolutely insane to me that all of the tribals I've been to have been easy votes? Something spicy needs to happen sometime. Other tribe has had interesting votes. Not us. Couldn't be us.

-So Timmy thinks Collin, Rachael, him, and I are voting Bodhi out and possibly Ruthie as well. Yet he has still not messaged me once. Sir, why would I vote out Bodhi, whom I love dearly, to save your sorry ass when you have not even spoke to me? This dude either has an idol or is just crazy cause, like, that is not how you play Survivor. Do you actually want to stay? Then talk.

-okay! so we have quite a bit to catch up on... but on the bright side. WE WON IMMUNITY FOR ONCE! HALLELUJAH! i got sent to the treehouse which was EXCITING and i found the idol clue... which was literally to the idol i had so that was DISAPPOINTING to say the least. however, i also found the location of the other idol but someone else has it, which is good info to have at least. i posted a lot of my important information in my confessional, so i am just going to repost it here. basically, jess and i had a really good call about how we are not on the bottom, but are not in a good spot come merge. it's clear who is in power over here (zach, keegan, timmy)--because birch is with keegan, so we can't make a move against zach. so, if we lose again chips will leave (who is arguably a number for us because jess has him wrapped around his finger). on the other hand, i kind of have an in with zach and keegan--so i want to be able to milk that for as long as possible to get information on others in the game. but i am really not liking the closeness of timmy and zach especially (kind of keegan, but he has been a bit more lowkey the past few rounds, which is smart on his part). i just have a lot of adjusting to do, and i need to start planting seeds to turn people against each other (especially if we are merging soon). i feel good with rachael obviously, but i don't know how close she is with keegan/zach--but i do think she would turn on them eventually (just not anytime soon). im hoping the apparent alliance of 6 (now 4) and keegan/timmy/zach kind of battle one another and take each other out and i can just play the middle and watch them crumble.

-ARE WE SURPRISED MY CONFESSIONAL IS LATE AGAIN? I AM NOT... BUT I AM SORRY. anyways, this round the challenge was touchy subjects which was LOVELY for me because i am fucking AMAZING at knowing what other people are thinking so i basically knew i had it in the bag from the get-go. When we won, and I got that secret advantage which was an idol clue... that literally made no sense to me. however, i think i need to find two keys in order to get the idol... so, the first step for me is to hunt down these goddamn keys i guess. anyways, back to the tribe stuff... so, following the challenge and the post-winning glee emerged, jess and i went on call and discussed everything we were thinking. we were both very worried about crackhead zach's connections, and basically knew that we were merging, and he would be kind of untouchable as a result. however, if we were to have thrown the challenge, it would have been the perfect opportunity to take him out. however, it was too late to consider that, and we just had to continue our discussion about the game further down the line. so, on the topic of zach, jess mentions the "alliance" made between her, timmy, and zach. we both knew zach and timmy were very close, but this just confirmed it even more. basically, zach brought up the idea of making a 9 person alliance excluding ali, birch, chips, and i believe cindi. which, from that point, they could side with either me/keegan, or side with the other four (i don't know why i am being paired with keegan but go off i guess). i obviously didn't like hearing that, and it made it even more clear to me that he is playing not only a messy game, but an extremely wishy-washy game too. his loyalties seem to be all over the place, and i never see myself being one of his top priorities with collin, timmy, and rachael (and others) in the game. so, when the time is right... i am going to be the one to send his ass to ponderosa. i just hope i can keep my idol in the process for protection further down the line.

https://youtu.be/UolbDzsPoho (round 6)

https://youtu.be/wLA8Pt4bXlQ

https://youtu.be/jn8XxFsmPQU

So it’ll probably be between myself and Bodhi at tribal tonight because I don’t really want him gone. He’s talking to me about a plan but he’s not giving an concrete answers and with that then I can’t help both of us. I already told him ruthie but he didn’t want to and I said that’s fine I only said her bc she seemed the easiest option, tbh I don’t really want her gone either since she’s not a threat. But when asking who he wants after that bc he said we could have our og tribe and ruthie vote together he didn’t give a name. The concern is, Rachel and Cindi are friends and I don’t think will vote each other. The biggest threat is Rachel because of her outside connections with Cindi, Zach, and I think Timmy Z, so concern is there.

https://youtu.be/cX7Ieh2o3QU

https://youtu.be/HGm7ukcUEcU

Ladies, gentlemen, or whatever you identify as.... welcome to Phase 1 of the.... #Zachexposed party... hosted by me, Jess! I've decided I've been tame for too long and there needs to be a shake up. I haven't decided how quickly I want to do this BUT if I win first immunity I'm going for it. Zach is arguably the most dangerous player in the game right now. He's literally playing the game I typically play and I see right through it. No "large groups", working with small groups only, making people feel like they are his "true number ones" and attempting to align their interests with all the other groups. In his mind right now he sees himself covered by 8 people.

The 8 people: 1. Jess 2. Timmy Z 3. Gavin 4. Cindi 5. Rachael 6. Collin 7. Collin 8. Either Timmy L or Bodhi How does this all work exactly?

Let me break it all down for you: He has an alliance with: - Me & Timmy - Keegan & Gavin & (Rachael) - Me & Gavin & Timmy & Keegan - Connections with: --> Collin/Rachael/Cindi on the other tribe. I don't think it is a coincidence that the other tribe wants him on their team... ANYWAYS.

What is phase 1 exactly? - Planting the seeds, laying down the blue print, and rallying the misfits. How: Rallying the troops: - I told Chips about the old tree house idol clue and the whole next round we are merging message I recieved. --> Obviously that builds a continued line of communication and hopefully trust. He feels pretty alone and I really think he's CRUCIAL to my game. - I also told Birch about my findings because those two (Chips and Birch) would never compare notes on me I don't think? --> Birch also feels a bit alone and they are CRUCIAL to my game. Lastly, I have an "alliance" with everyone else and they will tell Gavin everything before me so I'll be in the know.

The ammo: - I can use the fact that the other tribe wants ZACH with them as another counter point - Confessionals of proof that Zach/Collin have been close recently which might not even mean anything to people but it counts when you got NOTHING. - The knowledge of him having an alliance with me/Timmy - The knowledge of him having an alliance with Keegan/Gavin - The knowledge of him having an alliance with Keegan/Gavin/Rachael - The knowledge of him being extra close with Rachael so whatever connections she made.. he has a head start on. - I also know he's close with Collin so they could essentially do the whole "control one side and you control the other"

HOWEVER THE MOST IMPORTANT PIECE OF EVIDENCE/ AMMO IS: - Zach has basically given me the key to the palace today where he told me we could flip on Gavin/Keegan at 9 and "go with the other four" meaning.. Cindi/Bodhi/Collin/Rachael. Meaning.... he exposed who is he close with and people might wonder how they fit into his plans. Can't go to final 2 with 8 other people... 7 people will get cut and that's on mathematics. I'm not entirely sure how to go about this all... this is probably going to either tank my game or change the game. If Zach is as well connected as I think he is... this is going to be hard. I'll need to flip the people not in on that plan such as Ali, Chips, Birch, myself, Gavin, Ruthie... but there is NO WAY Ali just votes with us like that.. he has his allegiances. So I have to be subtle about this or I go gun blazing and be crackedt. I know we are merging tonight and it will be a new game and I'm excited.

-this tribal is about to be messy af. timmy threw my name out to ali, bodhi and ruthie with the logic that "itd be entertaining" and that im well connected which is fair. but im also well connected so like...ali and bodhi both told me about it which is cute. so if everything goes the way timmy wants it to go, its gonna be ali, bodhi ruthie on me and me, cindi and collin on bodhi leaving timmy as the swing vote. HOWEVER the tribe wants timmy out unan. bodhi and i might throw votes on ruthie just to protect me in case of an idol but yeah. its gonna be a fun one.

-there has been talk of a 2-1-1-1-1-1 split for this vote. i really wanna do it but cindi said no :'(

-also if i find out through this whole mess that Bodhi was playing me, i think i will cry for the rest of my life

hello so confessional time. I've been really deflated and second guessing myself but I'm turning it around. timmy is going home tonight and love him but he is donezo. in other news: - cindi, collin and bodhi...? defo a group. - had a kill bill sirens moment thinking cindi was blindsiding me earlier because of a miscommunication related to the fact that there are two timmys in the cast - am now in an alliance with cindi collin and ruthie co loves of my life - I think I made rachael mad today NNN my bad but im prepared and READY for 13th

So... I guess I am not very well liked on my tribe based on touchy subjects. I kind of got that impression anyway since I have been borderline inactive with the move. Anyway Jess told me that there is a merge coming up according to the tree house or whatever so... I hope I dont fizzle out and get booted right at merge. Not sure who to connect with but!!! I am ready to swing if the other side needs me .

Click HERE to watch the Round 7 Cast Assessment!

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