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#adulthood? i do not know it

spock-smokes-weed · 4 months

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Not to keep adding ideas to the ever-growing pile I have, but I do think a lot about a fic of Sanji’s siblings coming crashing back into his life once he’s settled down in the All Blue.

Like Sanji is living his dream. He’s got his restaurant, he’s got Zoro, he’s got three beautiful children, he’s got his found family in the crew and the baratie. He’s fully thriving and BAM a big ass ship shows up one day and out pops his siblings looking for him.

And he so fucking mad because he never wanted to see any of them again. He especially didn’t want his kids within 100 miles of them. But they roll up to his restaurant (or house, depending what kind of narrative tension you want to have) and say “dad’s dead. Come home for his funeral”

Aaaaand that’s all I got.

#one piece #vinsmoke sanji #I haven’t gotten to whole cake yet so this idea isn’t fully formed until I do #since I don’t know the fully context of sanji’s dynamic with his siblings #but as someone who HAS siblings (the same amount that sanji has actually)#I’m always compelled by fucked up sibling relationships and reflection in adulthood #and maybe being able to repair things once your parents are dead #also sanji struggling to be open and honest with his children about his family #and being so scared for them when it comes to his siblings #idk I’m just spit balling here #mari is my main zosan oc but I do have the other two #sora and ryuji #and I think it would be really interesting to do some stuff with like #mari being the oldest and being more aware of what the adults want to keep from them #and having to be the strong older sister #since she’s the oldest by like five years

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firebirdsdaughter · 2 years

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The more I watch it…

… I definitely think the reason the Nate and Eliot relationship gets overlooked is that it’s very tacit and unspoken. These are two guys who do not discuss feelings, at least not directly, instead they just steadily… Fall into a pattern, they develop a system. The trust and loyalty between them isn’t spelled out in long speeches or discussions; it’s in the way Eliot starts to look to Nate for a cue if he should engage; Eliot allowing Nate to pull him back; it’s Nate never trying to force details of Eliot’s past from him; the way Nate only ever doubts Eliot once and then never again; the way Nate looks at Eliot after being forced to take a drink in the Bottle Job, or any other time; their conversation about the bank robbery in the Bank Shot job; Eliot being willing to kill for Nate; no matter how far on a bent he is, it’s in Nate never asking him to; it’s in Eliot and Sophie worrying about Nate’s destructive behaviour and his drinking; Nate telling Eliot ‘get them to the chopper’ rather than ‘get to the chopper’; it’s every time Eliot speaks out about a play or choice he doesn’t agree w/ and calling Nate out; it’s them sitting in silence in the bar; it’s the way Eliot falls in at Nate’s shoulder, or shifts in front of him in case of threat; it’s Eliot doing things Nate asks even when he complains; it’s Nate honestly responding when Eliot confronts him; it’s the Zanzibar Job; Eliot being mad Nate (and the others) left the baseball game early; Nate trying to protect Eliot from being forced to do the fixed fight; his panic at thinking Eliot’s been shot for a moment; Nate sounding for all the world like a proud dad during the country music ep; the exchange at the end of the cheerleading ep; them both harping on Hardison to tip the messenger; Nate trying to curb Eliot’s flirting; watching sports together; it’s the tiny glances they exchange or they way they sometimes move in sync.

Leverage Inc has no hierarchy, not really, not in the usual sense, but they fill their own roles based on their strengths and personalities. There’s no outright decision, no official acknowledgement, but they don’t need that. Nate and Eliot settle seamlessly into not just the roles of a mastermind and his loyal, trusted, and competent lieutenant and enforcer, but also something reminiscent of a father and an eldest son. They are actually one of the closest bonds in the whole crew (which is comprised of very close bonds, to be fair, but hopefully you get the point), they just do it so naturally and almost in the periphery that it can go unnoticed/understood very easily.

#Leverage #COME TO MY TED TALKS #anyway I love this I love them #Eliot and Nate have something that other mastermind and hitter combos WISH they had #if anyone else saw that post I made about how Eliot effectively lost his father and Nate lost his son…#like I said there Eliot Hardison and Parker are all three the Kids #but I do feel like part of the way Eliot and Nate connect is they both find something that they'd been missing in the relationship #Sam will never grow up play guitar or have a date #watch sports w/ him #Eliot never gets to have his father know the good he's been able to do to worry about him or just spend timee w/ him #yes the ages don't line up but who cares #it's like an estranged family finally bonding in adulthood that's literally the plot of NUMB3RS #and yeah it's very mob/mafia #like they're practically a mafia family #anyway excuse me while I go back and watch the Zanzibar job again bc damn if that's not one of the three hottest things on tv in this show #Literal Crime Family

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skoulsons · 10 months

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“Ellie?”

She had kept herself closed off most of the day, doing as much as skipping meals, not sketching, and declining their routine movie night.

Joel turned the knob, opening the door only slightly. “Ellie?”

“What?” She bit. She was around the corner, still in bed.

He bit his cheek. “Can I come in?”

She sniffled, a mumbled yeah from around the corner to let him know it was okay. He entered, keeping the door somewhat open behind him. He found her on her back, covers pulled up to her shoulders as she stared at the ceiling, counting imaginary stars.

The look on her face was a sure sign, as any, that things were not good.

He sat by her feet, the corner of the mattress sinking down as he sat, her feet following suit and lightly falling against his lower back.

“Do you need something?”

Joel inhaled and exhaled. He kept his hands awkwardly in his lap. “I wanted to check up on you.”

“Why? I’m fine,” she grumbled, eyes still glued to the ceiling.

“You sure?”

She wasn’t. She knew she wasn’t fine. Every possible thought about Joel, Tommy, Maria, Riley, Sam, or Henry that wasn’t positive made its way to the forefront of her brain, twisting everything she knew about them. Making her believe things that she was sure weren’t true. Convincing her of truths that were hard to shake.

Everything is still so new to them. Young and needing navigation and direction. Their relationship and being together now, no plan in sight of leaving or disregarding the other.

She has someone in her life now who cares about her. Who has cared about her for over a year. Someone who dedicates every single day to being present. Who always makes breakfast for the two of them. Someone who holds her when she cries and who lifts her up even higher when she’s happy. Who carries her to bed when she needs it and finds her new comics when he’s outside the walls. Who protects her at every moment and encourages her to eat and shower when she struggles.

Someone who loves her.

And that revelation is what makes these days even harder.

“Hey…” he nudged, turning his body slightly more towards her. “What’s goin’ on, baby?”

Ellie sighed, closing her eyes tightly, waves of colors forming in the black of her vision the harder she squeezed. She opened them, her eyesight wavering as tears pooled at her eyelids. The imaginary stars on the ceiling kept her gaze, still avoiding Joel’s concern.

“Today just… hasn’t been good.”

And while he knew it, hearing it from her still hurts to know. Whatever happened, it hurts to know she’s struggling.

“I think it’s been little worse than hasn’t been good.” It felt inappropriate to point out her near crying and the tight-lipped expression on her face in an attempt to keep her emotions at bay.

“I’m just… having fucked up thoughts,” she sighed, tracing all the constellations she knew into the white of the ceiling.

Joel didn’t say anything. In all honesty, he didn’t know what to say.

Neither of them were the best at talking. Sharing something that pissed them off, frustrated them, or upset them and navigating that conversation in a healthy manner always felt like forcefully pulling teeth before they ever broke the surface of the gums.

Joel hopes his silence is an invitation for her to continue. He wants to help, to walk through what bothering her with her.

“I…,” she started, choking slightly on the syllable. “I feel like people don’t care. They don’t care, they don’t…love.”

Joel tilted his head to the side, eyeing her avoidant gaze.

Ellie brought her hand up and wiped it across her right temple. Her voice wavered, her lip quivering as she spoke, “me.”

Joel had an inclination, but hearing it still hurt all the same.

“I feel like people…” she paused, sniffled heavily. She lazily raised her arm off the bed in his direction, “you… don’t.”

Frustrated, Ellie sat up, her back making content with the headboard harder than she intended. She locked eyes with him momentarily before avoiding his gaze again, fixing hers around the room. Her dresser, a heap of clothes on the floor, her blinds, and the open door.

She stopped keeping her head upright and let the crown of her head fall back, banging against the headboard. She sighed, a wet, embarrassing laugh escaping her. “I… I know. I know you do. I do. But sometimes, I just… get convinced you don’t.”

She fiddles with her hands in her lap as her tears threaten to spill over, Ellie massaging her fingers and cracking her knuckles, even with nothing left to crack. She picks at her cuticles and nails uncomfortably, clearing her throat to get rid of the tight burning that has coated it.

“What convinces you?” Joel asked, his eyes looking twenty years younger—like he’s talking to someone else entirely. Like he’s held a similar conversation before.

His question stumps her.

And she realizes it’s nothing. Nothing has ever convinced her. Nothing could convince her that Joel doesn’t care about her. Nothing could ever truly convince her that Joel doesn’t love her.

He may get frustrated over something. He may be extra tired some days. He may spend a little more strength some days fighting his own demons that it’s hard to be there 100% for her.

But those things don’t mean he doesn’t love her. They don’t mean he wouldn’t lay down his life for her at any given moment. They don’t mean he doesn’t look at her with anything less than adoration, devotion, and appreciation for who she is. Who she is and what she has come to mean to him.

“Have I ever done anything-“

She cut him off. “No. No, no. Fuck no, never.” She threw the crown of her against the headboard again, a few tears spilling down the side of her face and flowing along her jawline. She hastily wiped them away, clearing her throat.

“I don’t know. I don’t know. I guess I… don’t think I deserve it or something. So I look at you or Tommy or I… I remember Riley or Sam or anyone else and I… I think they don’t—didn’t care.”

She knows they do. Riley—she knows. Sam she knows. Henry, too. Tommy and Maria—she knows. Joel—he she knows better than any of the others.

“I remember them or I…” she brought her head down from her gaze on the ceiling and looked at him, clearly, for the first time. “I look at you and I wonder why.”

She cries. Her lips pressed together, not enough breath in her lungs to combat the tears falling down her face and slipping down her neck, soaking the collar of her shirt. She wipes and wipes and wipes until her tear-soaked hands can’t catch anymore and they flow freely. She dries her hands on her sheets and it’s still not enough to catch every single one.

Joel moves quickly, his right hand lightly on her shin as he reaches his left out towards her, keeping it held right above her lap for her to feel.

She can barely see, and yet she reaches out, knowing he’s there. Trusting he’s there.

She grabs his left hand with her right, holding it until her knuckles turn white and it hurts. Until it stings and her fingers go numb. Until her hand shakes and the blood flow is cut off from her fingertips.

He moves his right hand from her shin to press a fist into the mattress on the other side of her, scooting himself closer to her. He settles closer to her, bringing his right hand up her shoulder and eventually finding its home on her cheek. He strokes his thumb across it, more tears falling as she leans into it. She turns her head into it, her lips in his palm as he continues wiping her tears.

He pulls his hand back from her face and brings it to her other cheek, sliding his knuckles across to clear the streaks of tears. He returns his hand back to her other cheek, lightly scratching at the roots of her hair on the back of her neck.

Ellie grabs the collar of her shirt with her left hand, wiping the snot from her nose and using any drier part of her shirt to dry her neck and chin.

Joel lifts his left hand to bring up to her face, but a mumbled, snotty no keeps it in her lap, Ellie still clutching it.

She continues to sniffle, finally opening her eyes to see Joel looking back at her, a streak down the left side of his face, right by his ear.

“I’m sorry,” she says, quickly averting her gaze from his.

He smiles slightly, rubbing those all-comforting circles with his thumb over hand. He brings his hand up from her cheek as she closes her eyes, using two fingers to drag hairs down her forehead and tuck them behind her ear.

They didn’t need to be tucked away—but the affection always comforts her.

She takes his right hand in her left, bringing it down into her lap next to their other hands. She watches their hands intently as she rubs circles on his with her right hand and he rubs circles on hers with his right.

“Hey,” he whispers, trying to get her attention. It does, and she looks up at him. The tug on the corner of his lips reaches his eyes. “You don’t have to apologize.”

“No it’s… it’s stupid. I shouldn’t be crying over something I know isn’t true…”

“You know it’s not true?”

She inhales a shaky breath and exhales one just as heavy. She focuses on it, keeping any other tears down as best she can through controlled breathing.

“Yeah. Yeah I… I know.” She pauses for another breath. “But sometimes it’s… fucking difficult. I don’t…” she hesitates, shaking slightly, “I don’t want to look at you and wonder why.”

She chokes, wiping her cheek on the shoulder of her shirt. She feels her back against the headboard and adjusts slightly, rolling her shoulder blades over it.

She looks up at him. His eyes still hold that twenty-year-old look. They glisten because of the tears gathered in them, and the loving smile that hasn’t quite reached his lips has already hit his eyes.

“I’ll remind you. Every day, if I have to—if you want me to. Even if you don’t, I might jus’ have to-“

She laughs—giggles—at that. He laughs too, the kind of laugh that resides deep in his chest. The one that sounds better through his rare toothy smile. The laugh she only hears so often. The laugh when he thinks he’s done something right. The almost triumphant laugh when he seems to have cheered her up.

Ellie smiles, watching his own unwavering smile. “You can, if you think about it. I mean, I won’t expect it every day. If you forget some days, it’s fine. I’m not-”

“Ellie.”

“Sorry.”

Joel takes note of her. The dried tears along her cheeks. Her red and puffy eyes. The way her nose is red. The soaked collar of her shirt.

He doesn’t want to see her like this again. Not over thoughts like this.

“Will reminding you help? You know… keep thoughts like this away?”

She opens her mouth to speak, but it hits her that she doesn’t know. She’s never been positively reminded, certainly not daily, that someone cares for and loves her. No one’s been constant enough to tell her the truths she missed out on as a child. No one’s stuck around long enough for them to mean anything. No one has ever loved her enough to say them and mean them. Nothing other than doubt, hesitation, or reluctance has followed such reminders.

“I don’t know. I think, I… I hope. I don’t know, I’ve… never had someone who did something like that.”

He doesn’t frown at the thought, but his smile fades. Sadness, disbelief at the thought, the truth that she’d never had this before. “Well… we can try it out. You can tell me if you hate it ‘n we can try something’ else.” He smiled again as he rubbed more circles along her hands. “Sound fair?”

She smiles, tears welling at her eyes again. One spills over, Ellie fervently nodding in response to Joel’s question before too many more tears follow.

He lets go of her left hand and opens his arm up, welcoming her in. She scoots into him, tucking her body against him. She lets her legs freely fall into his as she leans against his body, his right arm coming across her back and holding her shoulder tightly. She keeps her face hidden away as best she can in the crook of his neck and shoulder. Her right hand finds the bottom of his shirt, rubbing the fabric back and forth between her fingers.

Joel kisses her head, leaving his lips pressed into her hair briefly. “I just… I don’t want this to become something you know is true. Cause it ain’t.”

“It won’t. I… I know it’s not true.”

He kisses her head again, a muffled good reverberating through her. He rubs her upper arm a few times.

“Come here,” he says, letting go of her shoulder and standing up.

She smiles shyly, standing up and wasting no time to hold on to him, her arms wrapping around his middle and settling behind his back. She rests her ear right over his heart, the thump-thump drowning the world out. Drowning her thoughts. Her feet stand in between his, Ellie attempting to get as close to him as she can.

Joel, just like every time before and every time to come after, keeps a steady hand across her back and one behind her head, carefully threading his fingers through her hair. He tilts his head down, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head.

He sways them gently, covering her back in hand-drawn lines, circles, and a myriad of other shapes. “This is your first reminder.”

She giggles at that.

Something bubbles in her chest. A fire. Butterflies—as cheesy as she thinks that is—it fits. It tickles, in a way. It reaches her finger tips and warms her skin. It helps her breathe easier and keeps her heartbeat beat in rhythm with his. It slows her thoughts and relaxes her shoulder. It lets her relax completely against his embrace.

The reminder is there. The reminder of his care and protection, no matter what. The reminder of the steadfast, uncompromising, sacrificial love that he has for her.

#this is uh #incredibly personal #probably the most personal thing I’ve posted #I’ve never personally been comforted like this #but the way Ellie feels is how I do #pretty much every single day #and it’s not like it’s ever been made evident to those in my life #especially my family #so I’ve never been comforted over it and it still haunts me into adulthood #and I’ve had. not the best past few #weeks? just a lot of thinking and dilemmas and a lot of things and it’s been kind of emotionally and mentally draining #and then my period started and #just about every single thing today has gone bad so #I’ve been crying a while. I just don’t feel well currently and more or less projected #this like 2400 words but it probably won’t go on ao3 bc of how personal it can be to me?#I don’t know I’ll have a real fic out in a few days #anyway sorry this is probably heavy #L writes

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murk888 · 3 months

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Hey, friends. Wanna hear something funny?

I got into a car accident today.

But I was very lucky.

A truck went out of control, slid sideways down the road towards me and hit the driver's side with its rear end, pushing my car against a wall for a moment, then spun around again and got stuck, fully blocking the road.

I'm completely fine.

Only a piece of shattered glass cut my finger. Except for that, your humble artist is unharmed.

This doesn't feel real

What a crazy day

#text post #please feel free to scroll past #I'm ruining the positivity of my page :(#I don't know why I'm sharing this #..or maybe I do #it's the aftermath of living through an experience perceived as near-death. oversharing paired with detachment. haha.#today I've gotten more support from everyone else than I've gotten from my parents in the last 10 years #and I'm still young. those 10 years aren't of adulthood.#trauma dump? sorry.#I didn't plan to turn this art account into a personal blog but here I am. writing THIS #this is unreal. insane.#however! there's a plus! this was my first ever car accident and it wasn't my fault at all! ha!

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lizardthelizard · 9 months

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listen. LISTEN. I knoooowwwwwwwww that August has never been important enough for canon to ever bother expanding upon issues like this. I know, but...

In the pilot, we KNOW that Emma is lonely. We know this because she’s sat in her apartment, alone, celebrating her birthday by herself. It’s well established that Emma had no one she considered her family and has had extreme trouble connecting with people over the years (Neal, Lily and Ingrid as fleeting exceptions).

But August? Canon gives us NOTHING. We know almost NOTHING about his past in the Land Without Magic. We’re given the name of one (1) character (Isra) that he has a connection with (someone who is clearly not THAT important to him, as she’s never mentioned again ever) and that’s IT.

Emma stays in Storybrooke to begin with because of Henry, yes. But it’s not a particularly tough decision for her because, well...she has nothing to go back to anyway. And I can’t help but wonder how true that was for August as well? Like....??? did he bother to contact ANYONE when he thought he was dying???

August is a genuinely intelligent and charismatic character (albeit, a little obnoxious). I have no doubt that he has made friends + friendly acquaintances over the years. But close friends? People he can open up to about his past with and who won’t think he’s losing his mind? HIGHLY doubtful.

I know that the show didn’t really explore their friendship very much or expand on it in any meaningful way, but Emma and August’s relationship is sooooooooooo *chef’s kiss* to me. Yeah, they have genuine chemistry and a fun dynamic, yeah the ‘I can always tell when someone is lying to me’ character interacting with a character that is literally Pinocchio is funny af and surprisingly poetic. But also!!! These are two lonely, emotionally closed off characters that were essentially orphaned by their parents for 28 years that have both had shitty childhoods and have connected so genuinely with one another and I don’t know where I was even going with this but I love both of them so much and they both deserve this friendship and WHY WASN’T AUGUST AT EMMA’S WEDDING I’M STILL MAD ABOUT THIS OKAY

#sorry I actually don't know what this is #it's because it's August tomorrow. that/s all #I'm being weird about him #ANYWAY I JUST WANT THESE TWO TO TALK ABOUT THEIR SHARED PAST EXPERIENCES #(😏 which is something that I WILL be doing later in mim but shhhhhhh)#LICHERALLY losing my mind thinking about august's past #because emma had a shitty childhood (and adulthood) yes #but august has a whole ass past in the enchanted fucking forest!!!!!!! he;s LITEREALLY pinocchio and he has memories of that #and he can't talk to ANYONE about those memories or that past because3 they straight up wouldn't believe him!!!!!!!#and so either he HAS to let it go! OR ELSE he risks pushing that person away #OR EVEN WORSE he risks people thinking he needs to be put away somewhere or given serious therapy or whatever #*(he DOES need serious therapy. but that's not what I'm talking about here)#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #having a normal one this evening guys #august meta #(I mean. BARELY. but I still want it in that tag)#august booth #ouat

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seventeendeer · 7 months

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adventure time, baby, I'm going to keep it real with you: you had the perfect meta setup (a spinoff of a children's cartoon made for adults who grew up with said cartoon) for a story about two characters desperate to return to simpler times (fionna longing for the subconscious memory of a fantasy land where nothing is complex and she won't have to face the trials of young adulthood in her now-mundane world, simon longing to lose his mind again so he won't have to remember his grief) coming to realize that the "simpler times" they remember were never as straightforward as their idealized memories (fionna realizing that her black-and-white worldview was actually just deeply biased and ultimately harmful, simon realizing that ice king was just as miserable as simon himself and simply lacked the tools to parse his own emotions), the idealized past they want to return to was never real, and in order to move forward, they have to face the painful realities they've been trying to avoid, mature as people, and learn to see beauty and value in their own respective lives, even if they're not the lives they'd hoped for

and then that didn't happen. there was a perfect metaphor for the false allure of nostalgia using THE "whimsical at first glance/shockingly grim under the surface" children's cartoon RIGHT THERE. How Did You Fuck That Up

#deerchatter #adventure time spoilers #i liked this series a lot but i was SO hoping the plot was a setup for a message along the lines of like #hey we know growing up is hard and you may well be tuning back into adventure time to escape the horrors of now being an adult #but this show was never the digestible silly good time you remember and neither was your childhood #don't you remember the pain? you were sad back then too except it was worse because you had no emotional tools to help yourself through it #did things seem simpler? they weren't. you hurt people and made poor choices without realizing it. you were young and didn't know any better #but you know better now. you have a responsibility to grow and learn and make better choices. this is a GOOD thing.#like do you see my vision!!!! the meta layers!!!! the potential for a painful but necessary message about choosing to grow+change+LIVE #taking a kind-but-critical eye to our childhood dreams and learning from them and applying nuance and learning to value complexity #fionna stagnating emotionally in early adulthood because of fear of the future+simon stagnating in his twilight years due to regret #aghhh i wish they'd gone for this SO BADLY it would have been the show of ALL TIME OHH #i did still like the ending a lot but. i was soooo hoping for this

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crescentfool · 5 months

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with the year coming to a close, i hope that anyone who's reflecting about how the year went remembers to be kind and fair to themselves with how you evaluate the year as a whole.

i think there are definitely times when life throws things that are... Not So Great at you. whether if it's some external circumstance that surprised you, or maybe your mentality wasn't at it's best. i wish for anyone who's encountered those kinds of challenges to be able to triumph over them and be able to say that they got through it.

heck, it might still be a work in progress even though you've kept chipping away at it, and that's ok! the results will show themselves eventually as you work through it! and i hope that we can all remember to be patient with ourselves as we go through these processes (learning, healing, etc.), because damn, it can be frustrating when you feel like you're "not there yet."

knowing that life can be rough at times, i think it's unfair to yourself (and others) to discount and downplay any progress you've made this year- whether if it's something that you did for the first time, or maybe you came to a new understanding and insight that you didn't have in the previous year.

it's not to say that you should undermine the validity of your experience with hardship, but to take the time to remind yourself what makes life worth living. to recall what moments were the most satisfying to you- and use it to strengthen your resolve for the next year and beyond. no amount of hardship will ever take away from the fact that you deserve to have hope that things will get better.

i hope that looking back on the year, you don't leave out the things you cherish. that you can remember the good that came this year. whether if the small victories are things like meeting someone new, trying something out for the first time, or making some strides in a long-term project/obligation...!

i wish everyone a happy new year! may it be prosperous, and that your life can move in a direction that's close to what you want out of life. you're all going to do great! remember to congratulate yourself for what you did well! despite everything, you're still here, and that's wonderful. never forget that!

#lizzy speaks #hello everyone. i know that there are *checks calendar* still 20 days left of december and 2023 #but i've had a lot of strong emotions and feelings i've had to sort through as i've been thinking about how 2023 went for me #so a lot of what i've written here comes from the perspective of someone in their early 20s #it's like... a crash and burn from when you were a teenager thinking that you know everything #and realizing how big the world is and how many responsibilities there are #all while a feeling of overwhelm looms over as you try to sift your way through the world and adjust your understanding of it #for me i've definitely had an underlying thought that 'you should have your shit together by now why aren't you there yet'#and it's! not motivating! at all! to think that way. and it's made me more than ever want to be a friend to myself. to extend a patient-#kind voice to myself that reminds me that others are also trying to navigate these feelings and to accept that i'm not going to have an-#instantaneous understanding of how one goes about adulthood. and neither will they. even if they look 'put together.'#like... these people have also undergone similar stresses and along the way figured out how to navigate through that space #and personally i've found peace in knowing that there are people who are older than me. trusting that they've dealt with these things too i #some shape or form and that them living... being here.. is proof that we shall be fine in the end and that we will move past what plagues-#our mind. there's definitely been some... anger i've had this year that. school didnt teach me these things or skills!! i was so mad lol #but hey if we are little guys who are living on planet earth for the first time we shouldn't condemn ourselves to an unrealistic standard-#of going through life and being able to instantly do everything 'correctly' and know how everything works #i'm still working on improving that patience... and also trying to put in the work to understand these things.#in the midst of a very tough week for me i was tempted to say that 'nothing happened this year it was not productive'#but then i was like. that's. objectively not true if you just look at other things. also theres worth in life outside of 'productivity'#...i think i passed 20 tags at this point. but like. my favorite thing about 2023 was meeting so many cool awesome people!#who would've known that funny lil squid game could bring so many connections and friendships i cherish!#thank you so much! for being a part of my life and changing me for the better! for giving me many fond memories!#and i'm very grateful to anyone who supported me and my art this year... for sticking around even though i wished i could do more #it means the world to me knowing that there's proof that i exist and have touched someone's life in a positive way! thank you! truly!#ANYWAY. happy early new year. i hope everyone can nourish a friend in their head that extends acceptance and patience to themselves #as we try and make sense of the world together. there will be things that we don't understand yet! but one day we will! and it'll be like #wow! look how far i came! i'm okay! i'm alive! yipee! thank you for reading this post i made to get my feelings out! have a nice day!

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isfjmel-phleg · 1 month

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Sometimes I know exactly what an OC's fate will be (Rietta, for instance). Sometimes I have no idea (what would adulthood look like for Elystan? search me). For a while I've had two potential options in mind for Josiah, both of which would present him with thematically appropriate challenges, but tonight it suddenly became obvious which is the better, stronger choice.

And ohhh, he's going to hate it. So much. It's going to be beautiful.

#The Blackberry Bushes #The Blackberry Bushes OC facts #Josiah Callon #Elystan lives to adulthood and that's non-negotiable #but what he does when he gets there...?#it does not involve a romantic relationship with Amarantha though #(I have trouble picturing him with anyone. he's just. so. TWELVE.)#no wait I know one thing he'll do and it will be weird for Delclis but good for Elystan ultimately

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