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kaz11283 · 3 years

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Could I make a request: Reader is ill (fever, headache, etc) and Loki comes home to find her fast asleep whimpering in her sleep from being ill and burning up from the fever? Something along those lines, feel free to take creative liberty, haven’t been feeling great lately and would love some comfort. Love your work 💕

Yes my sweet dear! I really hope that you get to feeling better soon! Thank you for the request and for the support! I am sending you some comfort vibes right now as we speak as well as some Loki Love i truly hope this helps you to feel better!

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Characters: Nat, Loki, Clint, you

(Loki x reader) (Clint x reader, brother)I know I've done this but I just love the idea of being siblings with Clint (Nat x reader, friends

Summary: After a beautiful snow fall you and the team decide to go outside and enjoy the day off, of course knowing your luck you would be the one who got sick.

Announcement: Individual request sent in, i am more that happy to write anything that is thrown my way (even though it might take some time) i inow what its like not feeling good and jusy wanting some comfort and to be loved on so I hope you truly enjoy this!

Loki Masterlist

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Your nose was red as you made it back to the cabin were you and the team had decided to vacation for a little down time, of course it wasnt your normal run of the mile cabin not with Tony bank rolling the whole thing. It was a rustic 4 story cabin with 3 rooms on each floor, a huge fire place that literally sat in the middle of the house (you didnt really cared how it worked you just knew it looked cool), a huge kitchen and living room sat on the first floor.

"I cant believe i let him talk me into that." You mummbled making your way to the fire place. Clint, your wonderful older brother had decided that the team should have a snow ball fight, you know "team building exercise" as he called it. You had of course been on opposing sides since it would be fair for two Bartons to be on the same team as Tony had said.

"You should know his tricks by now y/n, you've only known him all your life." Nat laughed walking in the door after you shacking snow from her hair.

"I didnt expect him to peg me in the side of the damn head. OR tackle me to the ground and shove my face in the snow." You grumbled. "Hes lucky he ran before I could get up."

"I'm pretty sure he's hidding in a tree somewhere." She laughed again.

"Good, the bird can stay in his roost for all I care. I'm going to go take a nice hot shower and a nap. Let the others know please." You walked off toward the steps that lead to yours and your boyfriends room. "Hey Nat, try to make sure the others are nice to Loki? The only reason hes here is so that he could try to get closer to them."

"Yeah, him being able to spend as much time with you as possible was not his intentions at all." She stated rollingbher eyes.

"Thanks." You went and took the hottest shower you could stand enjoying the steam as it enveloped you before you got out wrapped yourself up in a big fluffy towle and made your way into the living area. This was another nice room, hell every inch of this place was nice though. It wasnt like your "mini apartment" as you liked to call your room at the tower, but it still had a seprate smaller living area with a couch and a recliner, the bed was on the oyher side of a patrician looking out of the floor to celing window. You didnt want to lay there because it was so bright so after digging around in your bag and pulling out a pair of black shorts and one of Lokis green pullovers you decided to crash on the couch. After a few minutes of watching some random cooking show you dozed off engulfed in your boyfriends sent lulling you to your dream world.

You woke with a start when you felt something pressong aginst your forehead, you felt like you hadnt been asleep for very long, lookinh atound you realized first that it was dark outside, and second your muscles all over was sore and stiff feeling.

"Shhhh, Its just me, my darling." Loki ran his hand down your cheek softly. "I came to check on you, I realized you must not be feeling good when you were whimpering in your sleep." You then noticed that your throat was sore.

"I dont whimper." It came out horse, youtried to clear your throat as much as you could.

"You did, it was adorable." He smiled. He walked around the couch to take a seat next to you. "Your not feeling well. I can feel it." He had a look of worry. He always went on and on about how vulnerable mortals were and you wasnt doing anything to prove him wrong at this moment.

"Loki, I promise the worst this is is a cold that I technically caught from my idiot brother. Ill be fine in a few days. The only thing that aucks is I'll be stuck in here while the rest of you are out having the time of your lives." You huffed pulling the pillow under your head better.

"The rest of you? My dove, I can promise there is no rest of you if your not going to be there. The only reason I came on this dreaded team building experience is because of you." He offered you his hand and helped you stand so that he could guide you to the bed. "Lets lay here and watch the snow fall." He pulled your side of the blankets down and help you under them.

"That sounds like a plan Loki. Although I am a little hungry." You sat in bed as you watched him strip from the clothes he had been wearing all day and changing into a pair of black sleep pants. He started digging again. "I have your hoodie on." He looked over and shook his head with a smile.

"It looks better on you anyways. Of course I should have known that you would try to get me naked." He laughed. "Your brother saod he would bring something up in a bit. I had text him and told him you wasnt feeling all that well."

You stared in shock, "Textjng my brother? Looks like you have made some new friends."

"I wouldnt go that far, he said that he was afraid of you even if you were sick and I was probably the safest one in the room. He is going to vring a peace offering though." He pulled the blankets up around him as he settled in bed.

"The hawk shouldnt have flown his roost. Ill kill him once I get to feeling better." You grumbled.

"Sleep now my darling, get some rest. When we wake in the morning, of you are feeling any better, we will plot domination over your brother then." You felt him wrap his arms around you and kiss the top of your head before drifting off once more.

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astrarche-x · 3 years

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Six of Crows (+ Crooked Kingdom)

If somebody gave a penny for my thoughts on books, I’d have zero pennies, but here are my thoughts anyway!

It’s not a very spoiler-heavy note.

I know I’m super late to the party, but it’s only a month left to read the book before the show is released and that was a motivation to finally read it. (That and the fact that I have 3 written assignments due the end of the week).

- I haven’t read the Grisha trilogy, but Six of Crows was perfectly understandable without it, so that’s an asset. I wouldn’t mind knowing more about the war in Ravka, but generally it was ok.

- Found family in a juvenile delinquents gang is one of my favorite tropes in fiction and this book is all about that, so I was absolutely delighted. I liked how it wasn’t very obviously sugar-coated - obviously it wasn’t horribly realistic (I guess), but it avoided the Robin Hood or “criminal with a heart of gold” trope and that was nice, because it would reek of moralism.

- I liked the descriptions of the architecture etc. and could almost feel myself walking through the streets of Ketterdam. But the descriptions of Fjerda were very inconsistent to me in regard to the rest of the novel - I kinda felt like I was thrown from historical fiction to sci-fi (all that laboratory stuff) and that was weird.

- The action was very well-paced - without unneccessary delays and plot detours, but at the same time giving the characters and the reader time to breathe and bond. The only aspect I wasn’t satisfied with was the ending - it was too easy to predict the plot twist and it drained away the suspense and the sense of high stakes. And while some could say that it means that the writer set it up well, I think it would be better if it was unexpected, especially given that it’s not the kind of plot twist that changes the reader’s perception of the whole book, it just marked the turn in the action.

- post-CK addition: in Crooked Kingdom I felt that the action was moving a lot faster and left me quite exhausted at times. The moments to catch a breath were a bit too rare, but at least exuisite every time.

- While I’m rather glad that the “multiple POV” trend is dying, it was pulled off well in “Six of Crows”, because the narrative was in 3rd person. That allowed readers to switch rather effortlessly between the chapters while still directing their focus to a particular character.

- the characters, aka the best thing in this book: they are all lovable in their own ways and honestly I can’t decide who’s my favourite (jk jk it’s Matthias and Inej). I think that the number of characters is just right, not too big and confusing, but allowing for diversity in narratives. I only had an impression that characterization of Wylan was dropped halfway through the book and he’s been a plot device for solving technical problems most of the time, which is kinda sad. Also his change in personality was a bit unexpected.

- post-CK addition: ok, Wylan got his POV & his development, but I still feel like 75% of his character are family problems. I hope that maybe a reread in a few months will make me appreciate him more.

- Nina and Matthias: my absolutely favourite subplot (and ship in this book). It’s been a while since I’ve read so well executed enemies to lovers. The emotional and sexual tension between them! The desire to love vs the memory of past wrongdoings! The wish to trust and be vulnerable again vs the fear of betrayal! Them disagreeing on fundamental issues but finding points of mutual understanding nevertheless! Them caring for each other more than they care about their causes, even though the causes are everything! The banter! I just... can’t. Their story is such a good blend of cuteness and dark themes. I found it extremely interesting when the first chapter from Matthias’ POV showed how he was kinda deranged by his stay in prison and his desire for revenge and for love that were knit together so thight. Whereas he more or less regained his sanity as the book progressed (I wish it was more developed) he was still very much not in the best mental state and that made him a wild card, so the plot twists involving him were convincing. I also think that his disillusionment with his religious militia was quite well-written (as for an adventure novel, that is, where it was not the main plot). I liked how Matthias was trying to play 4D chess with the rest of the crew with his schemes and Nina joined him in part. Also the scene when the Crows try to get back to their ship in Fjerda and Nina gets shot, but heals herself so fast... Damn, that was some king shit. I love their dynamic, even though it’s the epitome of problematic(tm) by tumblr, but oh well, I’m all in for eros/thanatos motives and some good chemistry. One thing I feel their relationship lacked were the sex scenes - this is probably due to the book being technically YA (and that’s another reason why writing it for a bit older audiences would be ok), but both Nina and Matthias are so horny for each other that I find it impossible that they’ve never had sex.

- post-CK addition: my heart is broken but Matthias’ character arc? Pure gold. I was so proud when he started questioning his religious beliefs and tried to reconcile them with his love for Nina. Love one redempted magic fascist. Also poor Nina... I still kinda don’t understand why their subplot had to end like this - and it’s really tempting me to read King of Scars.

- Inej’s moral/religious dilemmas were so good and I identified with them a lot (not that I’ve killed someone, but still). Also I found her characterization to be top notch, because she clearly isn’t an extrovert, but is not reduced to “i have no social skills” stereotype. I love her.

- Kaz was a briliant character and his plans were so well written... But I have one issue with them: especially in Crooked Kingdom, when there’s a plot twist, it’s usually revealed to be just another layer of Kaz’s plan. When does he have the time to set it all up? I know he barely sleeps, but still, it feels like it kinda gets out of nowhere. But generally I’m all for scheming, ass-kicking gang boss. I also like the fact that he was still a very skilled fighter despite his disability, which allowed the author to escape the “disabled body means he can only use his mind” trope (which is justified sometimes, but still). And his trauma was so well-written... Honestly, the first full flashback with Kaz clutching to Jordie’s decaying body was one of the two most disturbing scenes in the novel (the other being Kaz ripping Oomen’s eye off) and I kinda wasn’t prepared for this. On the other hand, the bathroom scene in Crooked Kingdom with Inej? It was so beautiful, so well-crafted, so intimate; I felt the world stand still for a while.

- me looking at Jesper: adhd

I found him very relatable in terms of escaping his problems and felt sorry for his gambling addiction. But I wish his struggle over his powers was more expanded - he is shown being in two minds about this, but we as readers don’t really get full insight into the pros & cons of both option. But maybe it’s just the character’s specific way of going more by gut feeling and I’m being picky.

- a pet peeve of mine: if the author was really going so hard for the tzarist Russia vibe for Ravka, why did she name her character “Zoya Nazyalensky” and not “Zoya NazyalenskA” or, even better, “NazyalenskAYA” as it should be? C’mon, names ending in -sky have their female counterparts and it’s not hard to understand.

- what was a bit of obstacle to immerse myself fully in the Six of Crows was the fact that the whole novel was so well-planned and logical that I sometimes felt like watching the author’s creative process unveil - and while it would be helpful if I was looking for writing tips, I was there to have good fun and forget about my assignments, so it kinda got in the way. It was like “ok, I want them to get inside the prison... but how they’re going to do it? Ha, I know: the jailers’ carriage. Next: what happens next in prisons? Oh right, they will be searched and... probably put in new clothes. So no clothing and no weapons means it’s time for Jesper’s big reveal. This is where I pepper in his crush on Kaz. I can cross this off the list of his character development now”. The Crooked Kingdom was better in this aspect - as the characters’ subplots were more separated and the chronology was going in loops (character A’s POV ends with all people parting ways --> character B’s chapter describes their mission --> character C’s chapter starts again at the end of character A’s POV), it was more natural and captivating read.

- Kuwei was... very forgettable. I actually for most of the time totally forgot he was a character. I know he wasn’t a main character, but I feel like I know more about Specht and Rotty, some totally secondary gang members, than him.

#six of crows #crooked kingdom #book ramblings #generally 8/10 would read again

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lalka-laski · 3 years

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You ever played Call Of Duty? Did you like it? Are you into those types of video games at all? I was never into any type of video games. Just not my scene.

Do you like to cook for people, or do you order to be cooked for? Has anyone ever told you that you were a good cook? I love cooking for others, despite my nervousness sometimes. I find it so fulfilling! And I have been complimented on my cooking skills and creativity a number of times.

Do you have any clocks in your house that chime when the hour changes? Do those types of clocks annoy you? Nope. Those clocks don’t really bug me unless I’m trying to sleep. But then again, ANY NOISE bugs me when I’m trying to sleep.

Has anyone ever let you borrow some of their music, promising you’d love it, but you really didn’t? Did you lie to the person and agree, or tell the truth, that you hated it? More often than not, I don’t vibe with the music people suggest to me. I guess i just have to stumble upon new songs naturally, I can’t be TOLD to listen to something. It sets me up for failure.

What is your usual hair style? Do you tend to wear the same style every day, or do you switch it up a lot? I’ve been wearing it down and au naturel lately, with the occasional messy bun or high ponytail thrown in. I’m not very adventurous with my hair.

Have you had the same doctor pretty much your whole life, or have you went to a bunch of different ones over the years? Have you ever been to the doctor thinking something was horribly wrong with you, but it turned out to be something minor? I had the same pediatrician from infancy to early adulthood. I then switched to a GP and I’ve seen her consistently ever since.

I honestly have never visited the doctor expecting something dire. Which is funny considering my debilitating anxiety & paranoia!

Do you prefer to go out to get ice cream, or do you just like to get the kind you keep in your freezer? What flavor do you usually get? I love all ice creams equally. It doesn’t matter what flavor, or where I eat it- it’s all delightful to me!

Do you look forward to the holidays, or do you dread them? What holiday is your least favorite, and why? I love most holidays, especially now that my family has expanded! In fact, I like them so much that I can’t think of a “least favorite.”

Is the background on your phone a default picture, or a picture you took? What is the picture of? It’s a picture of my baby girl! I actually didn’t take it though, her mom did.

What is your favorite type of print (ex: zebra, stripes, argyle)? Do you have a lot of things with this print on it? Anyone who knows me knows I love a good floral!

Are there any stores you feel uncomfortable going into (ex: if you dress girly, do you feel uncomfortable going into Hot Topic)? Are there any stores that you refuse, or just never go in to? I’m a bit too old to feel “uncomfortable” going into a store that doesn’t quite cater to my style. And I like to think most people aren’t that close-minded. Or are they? And no, there are no stores I refuse to go in.

Do you look in mirrors a lot, or do you try to avoid them? How many mirrors are in your house? I try to avoid them when I’m not home and can’t immediately fix my appearance. And there are 4 mirrors total in my apartment.

What is your favorite brand of clothing? Is this a brand that is sort of expensive, or is it pretty affordable? Lately I’ve loved a brand called Pink Clover that I discovered through Stitchfix. Otherwise, my clothes come from a variety of stores like Buckle, Express, Windsor, Forever 21, and random Made In China sites. I’m a bargain hunter but I’m not afraid to splurge a little when something really grabs me.

What person do you text the most? Glenn or my sisters.

Do you have any pictures that always make you laugh, or cry? Are they digital pictures, or printed pictures? What is the significance? Too damn many to list! I’m a sentimental sap and I can make myself spiral at the drop of a hat. IT’S A GIFT

What are you listening to? Cafe Radio on Pandora

What were you doing at 4am? Fast asleep

What’s your favorite cereal? Damn this question! I have a sugary cereal addiction. Lately I’ve been obsessed with Oatmeal Creme Pie cereal but some of my other faves are Fruity Pebbles, Lucky Charms, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Frosted Mini Wheats... ugh!

What’s the last thing you drank? I’m sipping a coffee right now

Where is your biological mother right now? I assume she’s home, this is her prime nap hour!

Where is your biological father right now? At work or driving between jobs

What’s your mood? Overcaffeinated and excited for the weekend!

Are you doing anything tomorrow? It’s TBD actually. I took the morning off work to help my sister move but she’s quarantining so those plans were put on hold. Now I have an entire Saturday off to do whatever I want! I think I’m gonna talk Glenn into taking me to brunch :)

Do you cry a lot? Way more than the average person. But I feel no shame about it and I’m actually sorry that other people can’t process their emotions as constructively!

Have you recently? See above

What’s your favorite candy? Anything sour and gummy is my jam. Oh and Cadbury Mini Eggs! Easter Candy is a serious weakness.

Have you ever eaten raw pumpkin? Y’all nasty

Does your car have a name? I don’t have a car

Will you be in bed within twenty minutes? Lord I wish! But I’ll be here at work for another 2 hours.

Who did you sleep with last night? My honey bear

Wearing any bracelets? Nope, I hardly wear jewelry

What is your favorite color? Pink

What should you be doing right now? Honestly there isn’t that much work for me here at the office so... it’s acceptable that I’m doing this survey

How much older is the person you’re currently interested in? He’s 12 years older than me (hence why I was so nervous to introduce him to my dad!)

Remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed? Quite vividly (despite my intoxicated state). You could say he made a mark on me!

Have your parents ever caught you drinking? Yeah

Do you love the last boy/girl you were talking to? Very much so

Did you have an exciting last weekend? It was a lot of fun!

Is there a secret you’ve never told your parents? Obviously

Have you ever flirted with a friend’s crush? Not that I’m aware of. I’d never do that intentionally, that’s for sure.

Did you have a good birthday this year? It’s 5 months away!

Do you lead people on? No, although my friendliness is often misconstrued as flirtatiousness and attraction. Not my fault though!

Who was the last person you made plans with? Me & Glenn have plans to lay on the floor and watch Dateline tonight... does that count? (Yes we like to make a bed on the floor. Let us BE!)

When was the last time someone really got on your nerves? I’ve been slightly on edge recently so it could’ve been anyone

Have you recently lost any clothes? Actually yeah, several socks in one load of laundry. Where the hell could they be?!

What places will you be going tomorrow? Hopefully brunch!

When is the next time you will kiss someone? In a couple hours when I get home

How do you feel about your hair right now? It’s a little raggedy and needs a root touch-up but I can’t be bothered

How fast have you driven a car? Not fast at all

Have you ever smoked? Just weed

Is the last person you kissed your other half? He absolutely is

Do you think this year is better than the last? I hate to say it but I had a pretty spectacular 2020. Although I think even more greatness is in store for 2021!

Where is the last person you kissed at this moment? He’s at home

Has anyone seen you in your underwear this past month? Yes

Would you rather marry Taylor Lautner, or take a million dollars? A million, easy lol.

Do you really believe in forever? I do

What are you doing after this? Most likely another survey. And I’ll keep repeating this cycle ‘till it’s time to go home

Someone says “all guys are players” You say? What grade are you in?

Are you an official couple with the last person you kissed? We’re engaged!

Do you believe in kissing when you’re not together yet? Do as you please!

How serious are your feelings for the person you like? Considering I’m wearing this ring on my finger I’d say we’re pretty damn serious

Do you live close to the person you like? We live together

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welovelofi · 4 years

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Tales Of Murder And Dust: Fragile Absolutes. We Feature, We Love.

https://open.spotify.com/album/6DMVg3nHhAadARNNw1dfpl?si=iuFBfCgKQhGEiYq-M2alqw

Århus based, Tales Of Murder And Dust are freshly out with their 3rd full-length LP, Fragile Absolutes. It’s the result of a long gestation and steady evolution of both the line-up and context of the group.

“It’s been the most difficult process we’ve ever had” is bandied around like a mantra in the organization. Why though? Tomad seems to have at times in their 12-year career, everything going for them in spades, but if you pull up specific moments of dormancy – a heck of a lot of forces working against them. Like plate tectonics or glacial migration – slow building pressures ripping them apart that the human sensory array could only detect with seemingly topographic charts.

After 2016’s “The Flow In Between” saw the band signing to English neo-psych magnate, Fuzzclub Records, they parted ways with founding member Kristoffer Vilsgaard, who shared lead vocal and songwriting duties with Christian Sinding Soendergaard. Vilsgaard left the operation amicably and still remains active in their now extensive ‘extended family’. Around the same time, TOMAD saw a drastic line-up shift in virtually every position except drums. Fellow ZRN (formerly Zeroine, a ‘side’ collab between Ess Beck and Soendergaard) and real-life partner, Ess Beck moved in on keys and auxiliary guitar, Rasmus Aaen Jensen entered on bass, and the slimmer, leaner line-up headed to USA for their very chaotic inaugural tour – plagued by missed connections, transportation break-downs and hellish drive times.

“It was our first time in the states, and instead of being able to soak it all in, we got into a van and drove 35 hours straight to a gig” remarks Jakob Korsgaard (drums). “I kinda feel like it doesn’t even count, that tour – it was just so chaotic at times”.

The Flow In Between sold well internationally for them, and the EU bookings were steady, yet it seemed always to this writer that it was getting increasingly difficult to see them here in Aarhus or let-alone find their records in one of the many physical shops. In fact, I ordered my copy of “Fuzz Club Sessions” from England (the 2018 Ltd edition live-in-studio EP, first to feature the re-vamped TOMAD line-up), and it took weeks to get here (You can fly direct from AAR to Stanstead though for less than the price of a beer and be wheels down in 1.5 hours). Something was rotten somewhere.

The difference between The Flow In Between and Fragile Absolutes is significant in almost every way. All plusses though if you’ve gotten this far. WHEN one was able to catch TOMAD in this constellation between records, I always had the feeling there was something über-special about their sound. It was like something was gestating, brewing…fermenting even. ZRN seemingly would cycle through a period as well, ESS and Christian seemed to dichotomize the sound picture. TOMAD at times would be more punky or gothic, while ZRN would move into territory that was more ambient, improvisatory and even post-modernist ‘classical’. It seemed like the two groups had a significant impact on each other – which makes sense with the personnel being partly the same, but yet able to morph under a different moniker and (for lack of a better term) ‘power dynamic shift’. At any rate – TOMAD was evolving and peeling away from the “Psych” or “Shoegaze” pigeonholes that seemed to be applied by the lesser astute of my colleagues over the decade.

With the departure Of Vilsgaard as co-lead, That left Soendergaard in full creative control of the group. This is one of the important dynamic shifts that lead to the content and feel of “Fragile Absolutes”. Far from being a 3-legged cat however – Soendergaards growth as an atmospheric composer and arranger in a more widescreen cinematic format was amplified. With the departure of Vilsgaard, also left the final leanings of TOMAD being justifiably a “Psych” outfit. The darker hues of something weightier and more substantial began covering the band like strangler vines around the once verdant trees of the woods.

“Fragile Absolutes” was recorded in several different locations – initial basic tracking began a few years ago in Aarhus’s Tapetown studios. Tapetown’s penchant for recording “Alternative” and “Indie” genres served as a template for a slightly more bombastic base coat to several of the numbers. For whatever reason, TOMAD decided to complete the recording in various settings where they could hack away at it. A cabin on the west coast of Jutland is mentioned (the closest thing Denmark has to an artic desert), and various bits and pieces here and there. I’m sure all of this adds to the mystery surrounding the record, but the end result and finished ‘product’ is a record that is produced by the band with an air of achieving perfection in whatever it is they first set out to do.

Knowing the genesis and long gestation of the record – I see this as a re-birth for the band. They might not notice it. A heap of things in the band’s own personal life have also necessitated the change. Some members became parents themselves, geographical and logistical strife caused periods of inactivity and even as I write, a global pandemic has altered the way the band has to plan live bookings. I hate to say something as pedestrian as: “you gotta roll with the punches”, but this record existing at all, let alone being the masterpiece that I truly deem it to be, is no small feat.

The Review

In my 2016 review of “The Flow In Between” I ended up calling it “Probably the greatest record to come out of Jutland”. Before we get going on the breakdown – I’ll have to amend that bold statement from 4 years ago and relegate “TFIB” to “Probably the best record to come out of Jutland as of 2015”. Fragile Absolutes has frogged its way into #1 for me. Shucks – I’m even going to have to one-up myself here. It’s my favorite Danish album, ever. There’s a LOT of great albums out of my adopted home country too. Laban 4 comes to mind….

“Fragile Absolutes” kicks off with the wallop of the monastic meets Viking cinema “Distances”. It’s evident that they are picking up in context where some of “The Flow In Between” leaves off (see: “Sisters”). There’s a heavier texture of orchestration underneath which basically weaves it way through the record. There are shimmering jangly bits layered with piano, synths and whatever the hell else they used bathed in subtle sustained feedback. This continues into the slightly dirgy title track “Fragile Absolutes”. The monotonic guitar lines giving way to almost plainsong layered choirs underpinned by some subtle tinkling on the ivories and a chugging and building rhythm section that leads into orchestral stabs at a climax and finally a resolution.

“Crippled Figurines” treads on more familiar territory in a sense. The Percussion is sidelined, instead being inferred by a gently strummed acoustic guitar set in counterpoint by the ever- present drone and simple right-handed synth melody, comfortingly recalling something that wouldn’t be out of place on a late 80s Depeche Mode album. All this mood is closer in reality to say, an early Fever Ray track rather than a gothic synth-pop piece and retaining the best integral bits of each.

With “Flawed Beliefs” we’re back to the structure of the opening gambit of the record – the ever-present drone met by delicate flights of neatly layered butterfly kisses from unidentified hands. “Flawed Beliefs” builds again upon a simple but effective passage, subtly and organically changing shape to a cacophony of doom until disappearing.

“Wear Your Skin” again pairs the dulcet tones of fluttering sprinkles of what sounds like hammer dulcimer with a tightly layered cauldron of foreboding flares in the lower register. You wouldn’t be wrong for hearing traces of Cocteau Twins or even “Pornography”-era Cure, hence why some folks can’t resist attaching a “Goth” accreditation to TOMAD on this album cycle. I’m not sure Goth is such a dirty word anymore – I’ve dabbled myself and in these Isolation times – I don’t think anyone should blame me. “Deconstructed and Dissolved” follows this mood perfectly, plunging the listener further down the k-hole of the world in flames while simultaneously being frozen in the wasteland that our collective esoterism has created.

“Entropy” and “Consoling Words” again bring us back to the now familiar overall vibe of the record. Infinite layers of aurally pleasing yet disturbing symphonic drones paired with a slowly plodding and ever-present funeral march of backbone.

You’d be forgiven for being lulled into a sense of not knowing where the album begins or ends at this point in the record – but the whole affair is masterfully shuttered with the somewhat surprisingly delicate and bare “Remnants” – where for the first time, a simple piano and vocal are to the fore of the mix. There is something heartbreakingly haunting about Soendergaard’s vocals on the closing number – finally pushed into the theoretical spotlight, yet still fragile and nearly incomprehensible. It’s a perfect ending to the constant wash of dark matter and symphonic pummeling of the previous 8 tracks.

“Fragile Absolutes” as a whole, is damaging in its epic-ness. I know “epic” is thrown around a lot in somewhat ironic terms by suited frat boys on TV, but I honestly can’t think of another term for what this LP puts you through. From the invocational wallop of the opening numbers and the adagios and lulls of the moodier tracks, it’s quite an emotional roller coaster. Everyone I know who has heard any of these tracks all drop references to “Soundtrack”, “Nordic” and “Dark”. I’m happy to agree, even if I can’t offer up a pigeonhole of a mini-sub sub- genre to attach to it. The remnants of Shoegaze and Neo-Psych are still evident, these are the kind of bands that TOMAD will always be billed with – but “Fragile Absolutes” is their most powerful and complete work to date. While the bulk of the writing may be Christian Soendergaard’s singular vision now, What the rest of the band add to the mix is staggeringly appropriate and serve the material with a reverence and aplomb that is rarely found in a band that have been through this massive of a personnel shift since their last record. My only wish on several of the songs is that there were more dynamic builds and decrescendos – adding to the romantic and cinematic appeal of some of the “louder” cuts on the LP. This only means that it can evolve and grow live in my book – and for my dollar, I can’t wait to see what TOMAD can do in full flight with this material and line-up at a proper concert whenever that is possible. That will have to occur in 2021 though. Thanks Corona virus.

Words - Bobby McBride

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violetsystems · 6 years

Text

#personal

I kind of got hit with the flu last Saturday which has kept me a little under the weather for the bulk of my trip. I had run on Namsan mountain the day before which is in central Seoul in a neighborhood called Dongdaemun. I could only laughably do a mile and a half albeit up some pretty steep hills since it’s a mountain after all. So things can be a little stressful when you are alone in a foreign country by yourself feeling horrible. It doesn’t mean I haven’t had a great time relaxing out here. I’m currently in a town called Kokura which is near Fukuoka prefecture in Japan. Tokyo is cool as is Seoul but sometimes tourists kind of bug me. Kokura is much more a quiet Japanese town with less of an edge than Osaka but more of a restful vibe. My friend owns a vintage shop and coffee bar called Gramo as well as a club called Megahertz where I get to DJ tonight. Some of the people I’m playing with had travelled to see me years ago play in Osaka. It’s years later where I feel most at home in places like this. Or maybe it’s just I’m no longer dying of the flu. Either way it’s been a long break from the States surviving on nothing but coffee and onigiri for the most part. The place where I’m staying is very nice, has a great coffee and amazing food. I don’t speak much Japanese but it reminds me a lot of how I used to be in Korea. People tend to ignore me. I don’t think it’s intentional. My mom told me recently that I was such a quiet and well behaved child. She’d often forget how little trouble it was to raise me. When I first visited Seoul I would hang out with friends quietly who spoke long passages in Korean. I didn’t understand any of it. I just sat back and played music on my laptop and ate food. I enjoyed their company. I didn’t feel that as much this time in Seoul. I felt isolated in those kinds of social pockets. It’s not to say that people in Korea didn’t talk to me. For some reason it’s always the older generation that reaches out to me the most. I had a Korean Marine war veteran shake my hand and give me coffee candy on the way out to Tokyo from Incheon. They laughed at me in a surprise that I knew some Korean. But ultimately it was a kind laugh.

I’ve gotten so sick of people taking themselves so seriously and never being open to new ideas. I used to think I needed to change their minds. Like it was my duty to prove my worth out here to people back home. And now I realize people back home are fucking selfish. Horribly so. They are toxic and vile. They have no real idea what honor or respect is. They only care about money, drugs and how quickly they can be seen. I’m a highly visible sort of person by default. A menacing figure to some. All I ever hear about back home is who has told who never to talk to me. How people are afraid of me. How people just blatantly ignore the fact I exist. How people infinitely richer than I will ever be who never have to wake up and work a real job can judge how I live my life. There’s a time when you snap. Some people implode. Some people just up and walk away from the table. I remember this feeling once back home when I worked for a Korean American chamber of commerce. The year prior the festival had fallen victim to poor management and egos. I was called back by some elders because I had access to all the financial documents. Literally the main sponsor was McDonald’s and half of the festivals budget came from that contact info someone was withholding out of spite. I took a train all the way out to the remote suburbs and shared the information with the new committee. I was asked to stay on board. I had thought this might be a good idea. I had managed a kim chi workshop the festival prior. I was able to get a celebrity chef paid to speak. That person barely acknowledges I exist. I was given the idea that I could help run the annual B-boy dance battle. I had hoped to incorporate footwork. I was asked to sit on the planning committee once again. Three months into the planning I was taken into a room and told our group would be disbanded and handed over to family of the organization. I walked out of the room. People were confused. They pleaded for me to stay. And it hit me right there. There are times when it’s hard but you must walk away. The stones will be thrown at your back as you walk out the door. This has been a recurring theme with everything I’ve tried to do creatively.

I’ve grown to realize people read these because they seem to trust me. After everything I’ve been through lately and through the years I can’t betray that. People act like I’m a villain because I don’t agree all the time. I don’t fall in line with the status quo. Maybe it’s because I’ve travelled the world. Maybe that’s some sort of privilege to be beaten down so much as a human being that I have no choice but to go away. I’ve been alone in a matter of speaking for over a decade. There’s a luxury in rediscovering yourself. For me I didn’t join a cult or find some self help guru to steal what little money I have. I invested in myself. I threw caution to the wind and I improvised. I stood alone. And you have to know how much I cried to myself. I still do. Not really out of pain or suffering anymore. I cry because people do this shit to themselves. I’ve been dead sober for almost a week. I’ve been bare lost in three countries surrounded by languages I’m barely competent in relying on human kindness, genuine trust and my own two feet. And still to this day people with far less strength keep throwing those stones. They keep arguing in hopes to take the attention off themselves. That they are the real problem. That chasing after some hallucination of what celebrity is might fill the void in their soul. I know how they end up. Somewhere on their deathbed regretting the choices they made. Some weird shit happens to me when I start living my life accountable for my actions on this earth. ��Maybe it’s magic. Small interactions seem to hold the most weight. Helping an elderly lady catch her suitcase rolling down the aisle on the Shinkansen. Running on a mountain in full gyakusou alongside some random Korean running club. Followed around by stray cats in alleys in any given city. The real point is you do not need negativity in your life. You don’t have to take it. You can walk away. You can be alone. It doesn’t mean you always will be. This trip especially it feels like something is at my heels every step of the way. Like a guardian angel or something. Random acts of kindness. I feel safe. Safer than I have ever felt back home. I can shut the door on bullshit. I can laugh and say no. It took awhile. Six years maybe to feel normal out here. Is it strange? I’m not exactly a normal person I guess. You don’t have to be either. And this is my message to you. You can stand up and be who you are regardless. And I will continue to fight for your right to do that low key. Because the future is something we share. It’s not to be bought, sold and held over your head like a carrot on a stick. If they could stop me they would have by now. So don’t you dare stop being you. <3 Tim

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