#also I am skipping day 7 so see yall on Day 8 :)
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Mushy May Day 6: Picnic
I submitted picnic to the list so it's only fair that I write an entry for it :D
Enjoy this sweet taste of Sunny D lol.
Sometimes the chaos twins get to have a nice moment together… before the chaos :)
Words: 591
Rating: Gen/Everyone I guess but there is a curse word or two thrown in
Read below the cut or on AO3 here
When Sunny and Dew got together the result could sometimes be… explosive. Fire and air tend to play into each other anyways, but that combined with the two’s chaotic natures tended to worry the rest of the pack when they would hang out.
Other times though there were moments like this. Far away into the woods tucked into a small clearing, the two laid out in a little patch of sun. They would eventually get back to the grand spread packed up on the blanket behind them, but for now they relished in the moment. Both took a deep breath, focusing on the feeling of light breeze blowing through the clearing, cooling their sun-warmed skin ever so slightly, and the weight of the other’s hand clasped in their own.
Despite being a troublesome duo, the other’s presence had a calming effect sometimes. There was a feeling of resolution from connecting with the partnering element, all the ever-racing thoughts in the ghouls minds settling out. They had on several occasions tried to explain this to the rest of the pack, but were accused of trying to have an excuse to hang out alone and scheme up trouble. It doesn’t matter in the end, the semi-secret nature of these picnics in the woods only added to the fun.
Eventually Sunny feels the fire ghoul give her hand a gentle squeeze, indicating that he is ready to continue with the rest of their outing. “I was just about to do the same thing… twinsies” Sunny giggles as she sits up, crawling back over to the large picnic blanket she had swiped out of Mountain’s closet earlier that morning.
The two unpack the basket of goodies in comfortable silence, the fresh fruit pilfered from the abbey gardens taking center stage as they surround it with the pastries they had convinced Mountain to bake for them, and the strawberry lemonade Dew prepared earlier that morning. Sunny had planned all the snacks but was still ecstatic to see the way in which Dew was able to execute it all.
Once the pastries are gone, they go back and forth attempting to throw berries into the other's mouth, laughing uncontrollably whenever it hits their forehead instead. By the time the afternoon sun begins to fall below the treeline, all of the provisions are gone and their faces stained with faint little blotches of red and blue from the errant berries.
They both lay back onto the blanket, looking up at the sky above and once again holding hands. Every once and a while one of the two gestures with their combined hands at a funny shaped cloud or weird bird flying overhead. For the most part though they simply bask in each other’s company.
“This has been really nice, sunbeam” Dew sighs contently, but Sunny knows there is something else there beneath the surface. A light hint of mischief sneaking into his tone that any of the others would have missed. The serene moment has reached its conclusion and the time for the two of them to tear across the grounds like a wildfire has returned.
“It really has been, but I get the feeling you have a new plan in mind” she prompts, smiling at Dew wickedly as she sits up.
The fire ghoul pushes himself up, turning to look at her in the eye. “Wanna see if we can figure out how to combine our magics to make some sorta hot air balloon?” he propositions, eyes already glowing with barely contained magical energy.
“Oh fuck yeah!”
#also I am skipping day 7 so see yall on Day 8 :)#mushy may#the band ghost fanfic#the band ghost#sunshine ghoulette#dewdrop ghoul#nocturnal mushy may#nocturnal writings
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@yangsbandana ranked her top 10 bees moments and then i got in my feelings about them so fuck it!! here's my top 10 after the cut
10. that little eyeroll and smile blake does in v1 when yang picks up the chess piece in the emerald forest and says "how about a cute little pony?" they've only been partners for about for 30 minutes at this point, and blake has spent multiple episodes practically screaming "I DON'T WANT TO GET CLOSE TO ANYONE, I AM A BAD PERSON WHO DOESN’T DESERVE HAPPINESS." and still yang gets the prickly ex-terrorist to smile. gay.
9. yang's reply to blake at mountain glenn. blake is still so torn up about running away from home, her actions while with the white fang, running from adam, her present, her future. and all yang says is that she knows she won't run away from a challenge. that she's strong enough to face it and come out on the other side better than she was. the utter faith of it all!!
8. all of v4 lmao. but i have narrow that down so it's when yang looks at the pile of books in her very first scene in that volume and then turns away with the saddest look on her face. she misses just blake so much even though she left!!! and she doesn't want to because missing someone has never brought back the people she cares about, but she is anyway! bees angst is usually not my favorite but when it hits it hits and v4 and v5 were it
7. the dummied out cherry stem yang ties with her tongue while staring directly at blake in v2. she is extremely gay and she is trying so, so hard to show the girl she likes that she's interested. bless her. crwby, yall are cowards for taking this away from us
6. nora at the rally going "friends? just friends? i think they have more going on". nora is easily one of the most emotionally intelligent characters on the show so when she says two people wanna kiss i believe her. it's also notable that this is the first time anyone in-show has acknowledged blake and yang have something happening, even if they aren't necessarily together. praying that there's a followup to this in v10 where she outright asks what the deal is now that they're back from survivor island in the Time Pit
top 5...god i suffered for ages over this and i still think i forgot something
5. "i'll destroy everything you love...starting with her." cw for this vid: dismemberment, abusive relationships
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i'm a relatively new fan having only picked up rwby in late 2019. my friends who were into it kept telling me it was pretty gay and one friend routinely sent bumbleby fanart because she knew it would entice me to start the show faster. and sure i thought they were cute, but i was still unsure if this was for real or not. but this scene. this one right here is the one where i went, "oh. oh, we're actually doing this.” there is no real way to read this as other than romantic. the framing, the timing, like.... man.
i’m also a sucker for devotion in ships and if sacrificing an arm to save the one you love and not even blaming them for running away isn’t devotion, i don’t know what it is.
4. burning the candle.
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if number 5 convinced me, burning the candle was the one that got me on the train. here was my reaction from a friend sending gifs of this without too much context
and then i finally watched and got hella emotional. it’s a lot of firsts: yang opening up about her past, disagreement, blake allowing herself comfort. but they still manage to talk, work through how they feel, and leave better than they were. and i think it’s what i love about them the most? regardless of what happens, they have each others backs and always work toward a compromise. ugh. god.
also that stupid flirty wink is fooling no one, just say you’ll meet her under the bleachers
3. "what if I needed her there for me"/"yang was strength"
yes it’s kind of cheating to put two different scenes in one spot but they share real estate in my brain. these are the pinnacle of v5 bees angst, for me. there’s a lot left unsaid and literal continents between them, but they’re both saying the same thing. “i miss her a lot. i really wish she was here.” and at this point they haven’t been in the same room for almost 2 seasons. they have a lot of emotional ground to cover when they see each other and even more healing to do.
regardless of it all, they can’t stop thinking about each other. someway, somehow, they want to make their more-than-friendship work.
speaking of seeing each other again
2. beeunion 2.0
blake walks into the battle at haven at the most bizarre time. weiss has a big giant wasp summon (and it looks like she’s been stabbed???? but she’s fine???????), her friends are here, all the bad guys are also here, there’s some random kid fighting a juiced up dude with a cane. everything is fucking happening at once. and all blake can say is "yang?" In that little scared, hopeful voice
and like. the look on yang’s face as she sees blake for the first time is of utter awe. this person she never thought she’d see again singled her out in a room of utter chaos looking just as amazed to see her.
also there’s this gay little moment after yang comes out of the vault
1. “we’re protecting each other.”
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to this day, this is the only scene in rwby that has almost brought me to tears. it really is all about both of them realizing they don’t have to face their ordeals alone ever again. they’ll be each others’ pillar with unwavering faith.
just! fuck me up!!!!!!! JUST FUCK ME UP
quick honorable mentions:
blake's gay little skip in v6
sun saying that yang would never blame blake for what happened with adam
bumblebee the bike ramming into adam at high speed
yangs gay meltdown over the haircut
“do you think...she thinks less of me?”/”you could always try calling yang...”
beeunion 3.0
actually all their moments in v7 (the talk in the truck, the moment in the airship, getting ready for their totally a date but not a date before the election)
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Record Store (pt. 1)
Thomas Brodie sangster x reader
Prompt: Royal records is one of the best in the country, it’s also your favorite. On your weekly trip there you meet a friendly face. And later on you find you have a lot more in common than just your taste in music.
Warnings: some cussing (honestly it’s gonna be in every fic) fluff
Word count: 1640
Requests are still open yall!
You woke up early, the sun shinning through your sheer curtains. Your white bed sheets tangled in your legs. You reached over to your bed side table to grab your phone. 7:24. You dragged yourself out of your warm bed and into the shower. Today was Sunday, your day off. You were currently studying at Cambridge college med school. You had classes everyday except Saturday and Sunday. Saturday you normally spent at work and studying. Every Sunday you would wake up early, and then walk over to one of your favorite places in London, Royal Records. You had a great passion for music, you had an angel like voice and had learned to play piano from a young age. As you grew your taste in music got better and bigger. Royal records was your favorite record store around, it was small but you knew how to find hidden gems.
After you got out of your shower your blow dryed your hair, showing off your gorgeous layers. You did your make up and threw on a pair of black leather pants, a black shirt, your leather jacket, your black boots and some gold jewelry. You grabbed your bag and left your dorm room, quietly so as not to wake up your room mate. You walked down the hall and to the elevator. You pressed the main floor and felt it beggin going down. The doors opened and you stepped out, checking the time on the wall. 8:15. It was about a fifteen minute walk to the coffee shop and only five minutes from there to the store, you would be there just in time for opening. After grabbing your coffee you started on your short journey to your favorite record store. Getting there at exactly 9:00. Once you arrived you saw Felix, he was a good friend of yours who also happened to work here. You had met him in your first year of college, he was in your French class and was struggling, you offered to help. You were fluent and French, Italian and Spanish. Your mom was part French so you grew up being exposed to it.
“Bonjour Felix!” You said as you skipped up to him just as he was unlocking the door
“Hey Y/N! How are you ?” He said smiling at you
“Fine thanks, and yourself?” You asked, smiling once he finally opened the door escorting you inside
“Pretty good” he went behind the counter and opened a new box of records that they had ordered
“Ooo are those the new ones?” Personally you were a fan of older ish music, but you always kept an opened mind.
“That they are” he said looking up at you, you joined him on the other side of the counter and began to look through them. “Tell you what, you get a fee record if you help me organize these” he said
Your face lit up “deal!” You said already grabbing some carefully and going to put them into their sections.
After about 25 minutes you had finished, you were pretty fast. The bell rang as someone walked into the store, Felix greeted them and so did you. A few more people came in and you began your search, looking in every box there was. Then you found it. AC/DCs back in black album, for some reason this was hard to find, you reached for it. But when your hand was on it, so was someone else’s. You looked up, your face blushing a little for your fingers had touched each other’s.
“Oh I’m sorry” said the boy, he looks so familiar, he was tall and thin, blonde hair, your couldn’t put your finger on it.
“It’s fine, really.” You said smiling at him “you can have it”
“No no! You were here first” he said
“No really, my friend works here, I will know the second another one comes in” you said handing him the album
“A-are you sure?” He asked
“Yup” you said smiling, you had to admit, this boy was cute
You walked with him over to the desk
“So you like AC/DC?” He asked looking at you
“I would hope everyone does” you said
He laughed “there are quiet bloody amazing, what’s your favorite album?” He asked
You blushed “that one” you said pointing at the vinyl in his hand
“Oh no, well, take it!” He said, he tried to put it in your hands but you put them behind your back.
“No, like I said I can find another one” you said smiling politely at him
“They are hard to find though” he said hesitantly
“I’m good at finding things”
He smiled and nodded his head, “I’m Thomas” he said reaching his hand out for you to shake it
You put your hand in his “Y/N”
“Pleasure to meet you, Y/N” he said smiling an adorable smile at you
“The pleasure is all mine” you said blushing
He bought the album and you said goodbye
“It was nice meeting you Y/N” he said smiling
“You too thomas” you smiled back
He walked away, looking back at you and smiling to himself.
The next day you woke up at 9:00, got ready and headed to your first class. You only had one class on Monday but it was a long one. 2 hours and 15 mins of psychology. You wanted to be an OB/GYN but you had an interest in the mind too. It’s also nice to be able to understand people. Throughout the entire class though all you could think about was that boy you had met. Thomas. The familiarness was bothering you, why did he seem so familiar? He was also cute and had a good taste in music.
After class you went to your dorm and got ready for work, you grabbed some lunch on your way and arrived 5 mins before your 12:00 shift started. You had worked at this coffee shop for 4 years now. It was also one of your favorite places. You lived the smell of pastries and coffee. You loved the locals that you had become friends with, you loved the people you worked with, you loved seeing which new book Harriet was reading this week. Harriet was the old lady who came here every morning from 11:00 to 12:15, she would sit and drink her coffee, eat her brunch and read her book. They were always some sweet romance novel, mystery or classic. She owned your other favorite place, the book store. You stepped into the kitchen greeting everyone and grabbing your apron and your notepad.
“Y/N go help table 4 outside!” Your manager called
“Will do lizzy!” You called back
You made your way outside to table four, dodging the other waiters.
“Hi, uh what can I get for you today?” You asked nicely whilst taking out your pen from your pocket
“A black coffee please, love” you recognized the voice immediately, you looked up from your notepad and saw Thomas smiling up at you. He was wearing a coat and sunglasses. He looked as if he was a spy or something.
“Oh my god! Hey!” Your said
“Hi” he said smiling at you
“W-what are you doing here?” You asked
“Just getting my coffee”
“Ah I see, so I don’t need to file a restraining order?” You said jokingly
He laughed “I would hope not” he said “why don’t you sit with me for a second, my coffee can wait” he said gesturing to the seat across from him.
“I would love to but I’m working” you said with an apologetic smile
“Right well, I don’t think they will mind you being gone for one minute” he said
You sighed taking the seat across from him
“You know you look like your in disguise?” You mentioned to him
“Do I now?” He asked leaning toward you
“Yes you do”
“Well I’ll be honest, I need your help, I am investigating a murder and the killer is here in this cafe” he said, he seemed like he really ment it
You laughed, hoping it was a joke
He smiled “I’m joking with you, uh um I am actually an actor”
Of course he was! That’s where you had recognized him from!
“That makes so much sense! I knew you looked familiar, newt right?” You asked
“Yup” he said smiling
“So what is a hot shot actor like you doing here at this cafe?”
“Well if I’m being completely honest, I didn’t come just for the coffee, but rather the company. Yesterday I went back to the record store to see if you were there, you weren’t so I asked your friend, who is very nice by the way, for your number. He said he didn’t know me and he wasn’t going to give your number to a stranger. I convinced him to tell me where you worked, and then I ended up here.” He said smiling
“Well that’s quite a story” you said blushing
“Well I think fait just wants me to get your number so” he dragged off, nudging his phone over to you
You giggled “sure”
You typed your number into his phone and texted yourself
“There you go” you said handing it back to him
“Thanks love, you know sense I have you here, would you like to go to dinner sometime? Or to the movies? Or just ya know, hang out? Maybe?” He asked sweetly
“I think I would” you said, you could talk your face was red
“Uh well great then, shall I text you the details?” He asked
“Yes” you smiled, standing up
“Wait where are you going?” He asked grabbing your hand in his
“To get your coffee” you said winking and walking away
Part two :)
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My Life In 20 Questions
@heavenzfiend tagged me <3
1. What do you prefer to be called namewise?
Call me Elly! It’s not my real name, but tbh I feel like my real name doesn’t suit me.
2. When is your birthday?
April 18th, same as David Tennant’s
3. Where do you live? (You can just give the country’s or state name if you’re not comfortable with sharing the city name)
I live in Derbyshire, same as Mr Darcy
4. Three things you are doing right now?
Enjoying a cup of tea (Earl Grey ofc)
Writing
Catching up on the MCU (I got a discounted subscription to Disney+ with my mobile phone network)
5. Four fandoms that have your peak interest right now?
BNHA has taken over me, blame @jihyxnkim
Bleach has also taken over me, blame @xeraeus
Animal Crossing
That’s it for now
6. How has this pandemic been treating you?
I’m a key worker, so I’ve been working from home.
Tbh, quarantine and social distancing have been blessings because people are really pissing me off right now lol and I also have a really long commute each day, so I get to sleep in, which is nice.
7. A song you can’t stop listening to right now?
Gurenge by LiSA
8. Recommend a movie
Happy Death Day, though not the sequel
9. How old are you? (not that you have to share)
Old enough to know better, young enough not to care loL
10. School, university, occupation or other?
I don’t really understand this question lol, but I work in transport, logistics and accident prevention. I also have a BA in Creative Writing and English and an MA in Creative Writing
11. Do you prefer heat or cold?
Cold lol. I’m from England and we just aren’t used to heat. Give me cold and rain any day so I can drink tea and snuggle in blankets.
12. Name one fact about you that others might find unusual
I’ve lived on three continents?
13. Are you shy?
I am incredibly shy and introverted. I know everyone says that, but literally, I’m that shy that my college professors didn’t know my name and used to refer to me by my friend’s name. She was also really introverted and skipped class a lot, so we got to graduation and they still didn’t know who was who. My form tutor (like, homeroom teacher?) used to affectionately call us ‘the Jennies’ because everyone called us both Jenny
i mean, to be fair to them they got it right 50% of the time
and yes, my friend and i used to mess with them and answer to Jenny some times and not others to confuse them even more
14. Do you have preferred pronouns?
She/her
15. Biggest pet peeves?
I don’t know how to narrow it down lol
I guess really self centred, narcissistic people?
16. What is your favourite “-dere” type?
kuudere
17. Rate your life from 1-10 (1 being crappy, 10 being amazing).
7, I guess? I mean, all things considered with the pandemic etc, things are going pretty well
18. What is your main blog?
@cyanideespresso
19. List your side blogs and what they are used for.
Let’s see
There’s this one
@karakurashoujo (Bleach imagines blog that I ran before this)
@playingpokerwithtarotcards (tarot blog that’s mostly abandoned)
i also have a few hoarded URLs
20. One thing you think people should know about you before they become your friends?
I’m that friend who will read your message and then forget to reply, I’m so sorry djfhgdfd
i’ll tag @xeraeus, @the-sloth-woman and @jihyxnkim if yall haven’t done this already
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14x12 Commentary (europe edition)
Special episode where a bunch of tired and caffeinated Europeans ( plus a sleepy American) scream together, and then die and try to get on with their day ( lol AS IF)
Hello and welcome:
@purpleskiesandcherrypies (Nat)
@dean-winchesters-bacon (Kat)
@waywardbaby (Zeta)
@ain-t-bovvered (Giul)
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11
Giu: Oh donatello
Zeta : What a flashback
Nat: ugh... so sick of nick already
Giul: Whatever it takes oh yes cas is gonna do something stupid ?
Nat: "Not even an Archangel"
Giul: Dean doesn’t joke too in terms of stupid decisions.
Nat: Stop it Dean
Zeta : My heart will go on, I’m sorry
Giul: Well that’s creepy
Nat: NO
Zeta: Ohhh fuck
Giul: I’m crying
Nat: Baby NOOO NOOOO Fuck
Zeta : Test drive
Kat : the hand porn though
Giul: That’s fucking terrifying
Zeta : True
Giu: Dean’s face will hunt me forever now. Jensen JFC .
Zeta : Fuck
Nat: Shit
Giu: Dont
Kat : I cried during this
Giu: I am crying
Giu: Hell’s flashbacks tho
I’m hating myself now.
[Dean pounding on the metal ] : No. No!. Sam SAM!
-Up I’m having serious parallels with when he woke up in the coffin after hell.But this time he can’t get out. NICE
- Look at his hands trembling. CAN YALL NOT
[Cell’s lights goes off] the box is dark now.
NO I HATE THIS ALREADY.
-Oh thank god.
Zeta : Sam is naked
Kat : They both are
Giu: OH FUCK
Nat: Shit
- D:” Just a bad dream, it’s fine. I’m ok”
Zeta : Never said I wasn’t scared
Giu: fucking hell
- D: "Never said I wasn't scared.But it doesn’t matter”
Nat: Fuck you
- S:” But what you are talking about is far worse than death. Michael is an archangel, he could literally keep you buried in a coffin, alive, forever.
Giu: Told ya
Kat : Hate this
Giu: That Henley. I love how it rest on Jensen’s hips. distracting.
Kat : Single layer porn!
Nat: I'm not ok .Do I have to keep watching? Ugh
Kat : YES
Giu: the fuck is happening
Zeta : What now?
Giu: They really want to play with this water and drowning bullshit
- Also this episode is already aesthetically pleasing . and that I appreciate .
Kat: They play with so many parallels this week
Kat : It’s like a Criminal Minds episode
Giul: I’m so loving this
Nat: who is he
Giul: Fucker of the week
Kat : UGH NICK GO AWAY
Zeta: Busy bee
Nat: None of that was my fault
Giul: He’s a serial killer so go off i guess
Giul: Yeah well the devil left the rest is all you bitch
Kat : I like the cop lol
- Nick is so empty right now. He’s the most dangerous human honestly.
Giul: Goddammit mark.
Nat: The TALK
- D:”You’re gonna see it through to the end”
Giul: Shut up
Zeta : Mom hates this
Giul: WE HATE THIS
Zeta: Yeah right
- S:” And Cas and Jack, you haven’t even told them”
- D:” Well that’s because I’m not good with the whole big goodbyes, all right? I don’t need to get shaky on this”
Giul: and HE DIDN T TOLD THEM . HOW DARE
Nat: Can I smack Dean over the head?
Nat: Am I allowed to?
Kat: ITS DEAN OF COURSE HE DIDN’T
-D:” Just put the end of this trip out of your head, okay?”
Giul: MY BABE
- C:” Where you able to talk him out of it?”
S:”No so I’m counting on you”
Giul: LOL SAM TOLD HIM
Nat: Awwww Cas knows tho
Giul: good sam
- He asked Rowena’s help too AAAAAH
Nat: of course he would
Giul: WE KNEW
Zeta: Remarkable command of profanity
Nat: LOL Cas about Rowena
Giul: “ Maybe if I spoke with Dean"BAAAABE
- S:”If we don’t find some way...Dean’s gone”
You have to step on my dead cold body first tho
Nat: Dean washed his hands tho
Nat: at least
Kat : He’s a clean freak
Giul: Well remember how he barely touches the public phone booths?
-tHIS EPISODE IS BEAUTIFUL
Kat: This dude is so whacked out
Giul: This is a criminal minds ep. WHEELS UP, where is Rossi when we need him?
Nat: I'm sick of this dude already
Giul: Finally some gore
Kat: BABY
- D:” Do ever think about when we were kids? I know I wasn’t the greatest brother to you”
Giul: DUDE DON’T
Zeta: Regrets
- S:” Dean , you were the one who was always there for me. The only one. You practically raised me”
Giul: U MY DA
Kat: DUDE IMMA CRY AGAIN
Nat: Sammy, stop
Giul: FUCK
Nat: SAMMEEHHHH STOP
Nat: SHIT STOP IT GUYS
Giul: oh this is for the 300 mood
Kat: I think so too
- D:” Things got dicey. You know with Dad, the way he was. I didn’t always look out for you the way I should’ve”
- lol Sam doesn’t want to hear this shit
- D:” I mean, I had my own stuff, you know. In order to keep peace I probably looked like I took his side quite a bit. Sometimes when I was away, you know it wasn't because I just ran out, right? Dad would , he would send me away when I really pissed him off. I think you knew that”
Nat: I fucking cry
Kat: JOHN YOU FUCKER
- S: “ Man, I left that behind a long time ago, I had to-”
- Look you can pin point the exact moment the eyes starts to get watery...damn it Jared.
- S:” And if we are gonna get through this, I have to do , like you said and try and keep my mind off of where we’re going. So if we could not have conversations that sound like deadbeat apologies, I would really appreciate it”
Giul: YES. THANK YOU SAM.
Zeta: Yeah ok I’m hating this
Nat: Fuck, I'm not ok.
Nat: I like the cop
Giul: BITCH DONT
Kat : Told you Ain’t God he’s praying to
Nat: DIGNITY hahahhaha
Zeta: Yep
Nat: FUck
Giul: WELL THAT’s
Zeta: That was so predictable
Nat: Nick's a fucking lsdhfishgoiewahgpieshgäahgeisladhflidshglidsea
Kat : Can he die already? I shouldn't smash my work computers keyboard that hard, probably
Giul: Hey gotta hand it to the guy tho, he’s pretty resourceful
- Sam finding a case. I’m not even surprised.
Zeta: The Winchester boys
Nat: ONE LAST CASE FOR THE WINCHESTER BOYS fuck you
- S:” You had to go there”
Kat: Damn it
Zeta: Enochian
Zeta: FBI
Giul: YAS
Nat: I'd open up that door so fast tho
Nat: and get on my knees
Kat: Control yourself woman
Nat: You know who you're talking to, right?
( that sentence is knitted in the back of our watch biker gang jackets)
Kat : THE COATS
Giul: FBI FBI FBI FBI
Giul: dean sitting so cutely
Zeta: I’m sorry.Has anybody noticed how huge their feet are??
Giul: licking lips
Nat: Dean's such a smol bean next to Sam.
Kat: Dean looks so tiny.GET OUT OF MY HEAD
- This all conversation with the twin is a real guilty trip for Dean.
- Also this confirms that Dean and Sam knows some enochian. And that’s sexy.
Talk enochian to me * trumpet sounds*
Giul: CASTIEL MY BABE
Zeta: Angel on call
Nat: Awww Cas smiles
- C:” Dean” “ [BIG FUCKING SMILE] “Is so good to hear from you”
Giul: WOW he’s so- GODDAMMIT
- [stammering] : ok...well ..good. Ah [clear throat] listen , Cass....
- C:” You are working a case? That Is So GoOd tO hEaR. So I assume that means you’re not going to go through with it. Because I have to say, Dean , this plans of yours, it was born of, of desperation , not reason”
Kat: BUSTED
Giul: WE KNOW
- C:” I-I know that I’m not supposed to know , what I know, but”
- D:” "Look I'm fine with my plan"
Nat: LIAAAR
-C:” NEED TO HAVE A CONVERSATION”
Zeta: It’s good to hear your voice
Giul: MARRIED
Zeta: I love you
- D:” Really?”
S: “ Dean, it’s your husband Cass I had to tell him”
Giul: lol can we remember that Cas fucked up Donatello for them?
Nat: How he leans against Baby tho I caught myself staring at his crotch. oops
Zeta: Well....
Giul: Aaaaand flannel again
Giul: Shocking
Nat: SURPRISE It's funnier in Enochian I guess
- ALSO hell yeah for Dean being the smarty pants ! I live for these moments. We all know Sam is the main brain , but seeing the writers giving us these brilliant Dean moments is life.
Giul: He cray. This is so creepy amazing. Finally some spn old style
Kat: I know, they finally have a proper almost scary ep again
Nat: Yes. I still remember how creepy sometimes Season 1 was. oh they're here to save the day
Zeta: The Winchester boys
Giul: MOOSE IS ANGRY . SQUIRREL TOO
Zeta: Bamf much?! The hiss
Nat: Dean, control your anger!
Giul: H. O. T
- Poor guy tho, it’s not his fault .
Kat: Love snarly boys!
Giul: WELL FUCK
Zeta: Baby’s ass! I’m sorry again
Giul: We end the ninja turtle
Giul: UUUUUUGH
Kat: Ugh this bitch again
-Vintage Nick
Nat: I wanna skip Nick. Can I skip Nick?
Giul: NO Mark acting is gold
Kat I hate this whole scene
Nat: He's too good and I hate him
Giul: Wait Why is No NO , fuck no. WHAT
- The fucking ice ....
- N: “Lucifer....?”
Sarah :
Kat: ITS DUMB AF
Kat: I HATE THIS SCENE
Nat: SPN makes me question so many things
Giu: FUCK MARK OK
Nat: TELL HIM. I LIKE HER
Zeta: She kinda hates him
Kat: BUT SHE DOESN’T DO ANYTHING.SHE SHOULD BE THROWING HIM AGAINST WALLS AND SHIT
Giul: Let her leave bro
Nat: NICK LISTEN TO YOUR DAMN DEAD WIFE
- N: “ I can’t”
Kat: Nope he’s gonna be a little bitch
Giul: Oh I’m sorry he’s like a Stockholm victim.
Nat: "I'm sorry." Is he really tho?
- N:”Wherever is darkest”
Kat: Melodramatic much Nick?
Nat: DR CAS
- DR NOVAK
Zeta: Oh hello
Giul: THE OTHER Mr Winchester.
Giul: OOH OOH HOT
Nat: Dean's smirking
Giu: DOCTOR
Zeta: Giuls, u ok??
Giul: I . AM. NOT. EARSKYHGZLYCBTSGKBP FUCK ME
- Doctor: follow me.
Sam scrambling the fuck away from the sexual tension
Dean eyes on Cass [starts the sexual tension]
me [bathing in sexual tension]
Nat: THE HAIR ON CAS THO
- C:” It was necessary, doesn’t mean I don’t regret it. Doesn’t mean I don’t wish there could've been another way”
- C:
- “Please don’t compare this with your suicidal plan. Just stop it”
[ tilting head in angry ]
Zeta: Tell him Cas
- D:” Why don’t we talk about that later”
Nat: "according to your plan, there won't be a later." I love Cas
Giul: YES
Kat: THE SASS
Giul: CAS BABE
- D:” You think this is easy on me?”
-Why does it always look like Cas is on the verge of tears and they never fucking show us the real deal
- C:” So then, this is goodbye?”
Zeta:He’s hurting
- ThE FuCK Is tHaT LoOk DeAN
Nat: "Guys.. stop bickering." Is what Sam should have said. lol
lol and Cas holding Dean’s gaze a bit before focusing on Sam. Good moment
- D:” I thought he was too far gone”
C: “Dean if there is a spark of hope. then I have to try “
- Damn these writers are not being subtle.
-C: “ YOU taught me that”
Giul: GUYS I CAN T
Zeta: *pats your back *
Nat&Kat:"Get out."
Giul: when castiel get so riled up I get all tingly.YES ORDER ME AROUND
Zeta: @Giul control yourself woman
Giu: PSH HAVE U SEEN THIS...[gestures vaguely] HOW
- Sam not being subtle too
Nat: Sam's throwing shades
Kat: THE DIMPLES OF DISCONTENT
-I will never get tired of Cas glowly hand
Giul: ANGEL EYES YAAAASP
Kat: Okay dude would be choking on that tube
Giul: CAN I WAKE UP LIKE THAT TOO
Nat: I wanna wake up being surrounded by three hot boys
Giul: [clicks tongue]
Kat: With three handsome men? Yes please
- yeah ok you can’t fucking say that and look up at Castiel, Dean..you motherfucker
- C:” Would do like more grape jello?” [voice deepest than Dean’s closet]
Giul: WHAT WAS THAT VOICE CAS i felt it in my [censored]
Kat: Donatello and his chicken
- Those two whispering like that .... fuck you
Nat: THE dimples
- Castiel’s little awkward smile
- This episode is so beautifully shot I can’t
Kat: I need a gif of them legs @Giulia please ma’am
Giul&Zeta: NO REST FOR THE SELF DESTRUCTIVE.
- D: “We are going out on a high”
i wanna slap him....hard
- D: “ Sorry”
S: “sOrRY “ *chuckles*
- Sam is not drinking beer, he’s drinking hot salty tea.
Nat: Sam's really at it, huh? Trying to guilt trip Dean out of it
Giul: i don’t blame him
Nat: Can't be mad at him, tho
- S:” I have to throw away everything we stand for” aaaaand the voice cracks....good....great...
Zeta: He’s soooooo angry
Kat: Sam’s hair is so fluffy
Nat: LISTEN TO SAMMY DEAN
-S.” You just don’t check out of it “ * snarls and pushed Dean*
Dean is offended of the push.
Bitch you don’t get to be offended
- S: “ if you quit us today, there won’t be a tomorrow. What are you doing now it’s wrong,it’s QUITTING”
Giul: SAM MAD DESPERATE VOICE IS GOOD
Nat: I believe in us, Dean
-Dean doesn’t respond.
- Sam:
- Sam is all of us
Zeta: Smack him
-[Enters desperate hug]
Nat: fuck, now i'm crying
Giul: sobs
Nat: fuck no shit
Giul: OH COME ON
Kat: THIS HUG
- [strained voice] S: “why don’t you believe in us too?”
Giul: It’s too early for this.
-Sam looks like a kid here , a scared sad kid and I CAN’T DEAL WITH IT
Kat: SAM HOLDS ON SO TIGHT
- D:”Okay Sam”
Sam sniffs
D: “Let’s go home”
Nat: I need a cigarette and lots of wine
Giul: MOOD
Zeta: This fucking hurts so bad
Nat: Why you gotta make me cry tho
Giul: GOOD LORD. Stop the voice breaking
- D:” And I’ll keep believing until I can’t”
Kat: MY BOYS 😭😭😭😭
Nat: NO
Giul: JARED WTF
- D:” you’ll have to take it for what it is....the end”
Nat: SAM WON'T DO IT
Giul: STOP IT
-D:” and you have to promise me “ [Dean’s voice get high] “ that you’ll do then what you can’t do now. and that’s let me go”
Giul: HE FUCKING WON T
Nat: FUCK YOU ALL
Kat: JARED STOP YOUR FACE
Nat: FUCK YOU
Giul: JARED FUCK U
Kat: ALL OF YOU STOP YOUR FACES
Giul: FUCK IT FUCK ALL OF U
Nat: I'M DONE FUCK THIS SHIT
-D:” Just don’t hit me again”
- STOP THIS FUCKING MUSIC RIGHT FUCKING NOW
Zeta: i HATE ALL OF THIS
Nat: I DON'T WANNA WATCH ANYMORE, NO MORE SPN FOR ME
Zeta: I HAAAAAAATE IT!!!!!
Giul: AND WE HAVE ALL SEASON 15 too
Nat: FUCK THIS
Giul: YAAAASP GUYS
Kat : NO YOU HAVE TO WATCH NEXT WEEK
Giul: PROMO NOW
Zeta: Yeet
Kat: PREVIEW
Giul: GO WATCH THE PROMO BITCH
Kat : GO I CAN’T FREAKING WAIT
Giul: i LOVE IT
.
Well well WHAT A FUCKING RIDE.
WE HATED IT.
.
.
If you want to get tagged in the future ones send an ask HERE or to @waywardbaby or a smoke signal, idk whatever I’m tired af.
TAGS: @supernatural-teamfreewillpage @destiel-honeypie @mariekoukie6661 @dragontamerm @closetspngirl @rainflowermoon @mattiecat @bunnybaby121115 @aliaitee2 @jacks-word-of-the-day @4evamc @dammitsammy @legendary-destiel @winchesterprincessbride @destielhoneybee @castiellover20
#prophet and loss#supernatural#spn#Episode commentary#spn commentary#spn episode commentary#spn season 14#supernatural season 14#season 14#spn 14x12#supernatural 14x12
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LONG LONG LONG
a music survey from livejournal days…
- TO TAKE THIS SURVEY, SIMPLY PUT YOUR MUSIC PLAYER ON SHUFFLE AND ANSWER THE QUESTIONS WITH THE TITLE OF THE SONG THAT COMES ON - [it’s better if you don’t cheat and don’t skip any songs.]
What is your name?: Moby Dick • Led Zep
How is your life going?: Get on the Right Thing • Paul McCartney
What is your nickname?: The Day the World Gets ‘Round • George Harrison
What is your theme song?: Little Games • The Yardbirds
What is your best friend’s theme song?: Wait • The Beatles
How is your life going to turn out?: Communication Breakdown • Led Zeppelin
Will you get married?: Four Sticks • Led Zeppelin
Will you have kids?: For What It’s Worth • Haley Reinhart
What will your job be?: Rattled • Traveling Wilburys
Did you/will you finish school?: Good Times, Bad Times • Led Zeppelin
Who is your best friend?: Behind that Locked Door • George Harrison
Who is or will be your significant other?: Think Pink! • Beyond Pink
Who do you like?: We’re All in This Together • High School Musical Cast
How will you die?: Stairway to Heaven • Led Zeppelin (YAAAAAS)
How do you feel right now?: Sentimental Journey • Ringo Starr
What is your favorite song?: Matilda Mother • Pink Floyd
How could you describe your parents?: Pilate and Christ • Jesus Christ Superstar (you can’t make this stuff up yall)
Your best friend[s]?: Postcards from Paradise • Ringo Starr
Your teachers?: She’s Not There • The Zombies
Your significant other [or crush…]?: Riding on a Bus • The Beatles (an interview)
Yourself?: Brian Bathtubes • The Beatles (taking requests)
What is your best feature?: The Riddle • Five for Fighting
What will you be/should you be, profession-wise?: Desire • U2
How could you describe this survey?: I Told You So • Randy Travis
What makes you angry?: Moanin’ • Chris Farlowe ft. Jimmy Page and a random sitarist (this song is so interesting)
What makes you sad?: Everything I Know • Mandy Gonzalez
What makes you happy?: One • Bee Gees
What makes you dance?: I Still • Backstreet Boys
What is your favorite color?: Sundown • Gordon Lightfoot
How would you describe yourself?: Heart Attack • One Direction
Who is your worst enemy?: Little Soldier Boy • The Yardbirds
Who do you hate?: No Me Diga • In the Heights
Who do you love?: I Started a Joke • Bee Gees
Who do you lust after?: What Do You Want? • The Yardbirds
Finish the Sentence
I wish: Rainy Day Women #12 and 35 • Bob Dylan
I want to: We’re on the Road Again • Ringo Starr
I want to kill:. Money • The Beatles
I want to eat: Spring Musical Medley • HSM3 yall with Kryan duet to open
My head: Sometimes I’ll Be There • Naked Brothers Band (accurate)
I am: Movin On • Rascal Flatts
My best feature is: The Sad Bells of Rhymney • Fifth Avenue
My eyes are: Safest Place to Hide • Backstreet Boys
My hair is: Who Can See It • George Harrison
My face is: Baby Come on Home • Led Zeppelin
You should: Not This Time • 3Lw
Random
Words of advice: And Here We Are Again • The Beatles
How do others see me?: Rhythm of Love • Plain White T’s
How do I see myself?: Knowing Me, Knowing You • ABBA
***
For this first section, put down the first ten songs that play, and then rate them on a scale of 1 - 5 (5 being the best) in the next column.
1. I Have a Dream • Abba 2/5
2. Sounds of Silence • Simon and Garfunkel 5/5
3. In The Flesh • Pink Floyd 4/5
4. Ya-Ya • John Lennon (ft. Julian on drums) 4/5
5. Magic Bus • The Who Live at the Isle of Wright 4/5
6. Stomp • Steps 2/5
7. KICK DA DUST UP • Luke Bryan 4/5
8. Your Mother Should Know • The Beatles 5/5
9. Photograph • Ringo (2017) 3/5 he sounds great but it isn’t exciting also who’s the chick I didnt sign up for this
10. Piggies • The Beatles 5/5 good one George
Now for a little fortune telling…
1. Who am I?: Tug of War • Paul McCartney
2. Why am I here?: Bet On It • Zac Efron (skittles and steak)
3. What’s my theme song?: American Beauty/American Psycho • Fall Out Boy
4. How’s tomorrow gonna be?: Behind Blue Eyes • The Who
5. What does ______ really think of me?: Let’s Go to Vegas • Faith Hill
6. What’s this school year going to be about?: Man on Fire • Andy Gibb
7. Is something bad going to happen in the near future?: Little Bitty • Alan Jackson
8. What’s the government going to do next?: Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band/The End • Paul McCartney Live at Citi Field
9. What’s my best friend doing right now?: Inutil • Carlos Gomez
10. What does my iPod/MP3 think about me?: American Girl • Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
Last section! These next questions are all about music
1. I absolutely LOVE this song!: The Look of Love • ABC
Comments: This was in Start the Commotion and there was a clip art of eyes as the O’s in look
2. I have no clue why this song is still on my music player: Steppin’ Out • John Mayall and the Bluesbreakers
Comments: It’s saved because I occasionally really try to get into Clapton
3. This song has AMAZING lyrics: Love Will Find a Way • Pablo Cruise Comments: I remembered his initials but not his name
4. The band that does this song is one of my favorites: Most Peculiar Man • Simon and Garfunkel
Comments: I would not say favorites but I give them their due
5. My dad loves this song: Songs About Rain • Gary Allan
Comments: he bought the CD and took it on road trips so probs
6. My mom can’t stand this song: The Hook (All My Love) • Led Zeppelin
Comments: she probably can stand it more than me
7. I have a sibling who enjoys listening to songs by this band: When You See a Chance • Steve Winwood
Comments: fair to say that cause once she asked me what the name of Valerie was
8. One of my best friends hates the band that does this song: Like Nobody’s Around • Big Time Rush
Comments: NO FRIEND OF MINE!
9. I got this song off a mix CD: Got My Mind Set On You • George Harrison
Comments: I learned how to do the mashed potato to this song
10. This song is on a movie soundtrack: The Freedom Song • Jason Mraz
Comments: could definitely be but don’t hold this one down
11. Share a memory involving this song in comments: Friday On My Mind • The Easybeats
Comments: running to it - how was there this much good music at one time
12. I’ve played this song on repeat before: You’re My Number One • S Club 7
Comments: Try this ALBUM back when we used to play S Club and have choreography
13. This song is on the band’s Greatest Hit’s CD: Ramblin’ Man • Allman Brothers Band
Comments: if it isn’t they screwed up
14. I love dancing to this song!: If You Wanna Do a Dance • The Spinners
Comments: seems like that was the idea
15. This song gets me every time I hear it: Bathroom Sound (Out on the Tiles early take) • Led Zeppelin
Comments: I prefer the final version with vocals and silly quips but this version does just as well for Bonzo Appreciation Time
16. This song is great to listen to when you’re angry: Farmer Refuted (Instrumental) • Hamilton
Comments: OH MY GOD tear this dude apart
17. I love the music video for this song: I’m Just a Singer (In a Rock and Roll Band) • Moody Blues
Comments: if there is one it’s probably psychedelic so I’d dig it I bet
18. I’ve seen the band that performs this song live: The Boxer • Simon and Garfunkel
Comments: I have not. This song is beautiful.
19. Is this song better to listen to at night, in the morning, or in the afternoon?: Let’s Get Rocked • Def Leppard
Comments: morning, running.
20. I haven’t listened to this song in so long!: That’s the Way (Live Paris 1971) • Led Zeppelin
Comments: not true it came on on the way to the gym barely a few weeks ago
***
What were the first words to Abe Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address?: What ya gonna do when it’s cold outside? (Keep It Hid • Robert Plant)
What did Martin Luther King have a dream about, anyways?: You’ve got a cute way of talking, you got the better of me! (You Make Me Feel Like Dancin’ • Leo Sayer)
Tomorrow’s newspapers will all have the major headline of: Out in the Rain Looking for Sunshine (Permanent Stain • Backstreet Boys)
If someone offered you some free drugs, how would you respond?: Lord almighty, feel my temperature risin’...(Burning Love • Elvis)
What kind of higher power do you believe in?: You need coolin, baby I’ ain’t foolin (Whole Lotta Love • Led Zeppelin)
What do people really notice about you?: There’s a girl I know who makes me feel so good (Valleri • The Monkees)
What do you notice first in the preferred sex of your choice?: Hey fellas, have ya heard the news you know that Annie’s back in town (Heartbreaker • Led Zeppelin)
What do you look for in reading books?: They say that Richard Cory owns one half of this whole town, with political connections to spread his wealth around (Richard Cory • Wings)
What’s a must-have quality in a friend for you?: Meeting people along my way, seemingly I’ve known one day (Happenings Ten Years Time Ago • The Yardbirds)
What scares the shit out of you?: Gat Kirwani • George Harrison (this has no words it’s just a sitar jam)
How do you laugh?: Anna, you come and ask me, girl, to set you free girl? (Anna (Go To Him) • The Beatles)
Why do you do these surveys?: When the night returns just like a friend, when the evening comes to set me free (If You Know What I Mean • Neil Diamond)
Do you have anything you’d like to confess?: I can see you in the window waiting for my call (Untouchable • Big Time Rush)
How do you feel about the person you cannot stand the most?: If ever you’ve got rain in your heart, someone has hurt you and torn you apart, am I unwise to open up your eyes to love me (Run To Me • Bee Gees)
The best date ever, in your book, would consist of…: Dear Theodosia, what to say to you?(Dear Theodosia • Leslie Odom Jr. & Lin-Manuel Miranda)
If you sent a random Hallmark card to a friend, you would write to them: Are we growing up or just going down? It's just a matter of time until we're all found out. (Sophomore Slump or Comeback of the Year • Fallout Boy)
If you had the chance to speak to (a) God, what would you say?: Every time I see her, she don’t even look my way (Just My Style • Gary Lewis and the Playboys)
Finish the sentence: “When the going gets tough…”: My friend came to me with sadness in his eyes and told me that he wanted help before his country dies (Bangla Desh • George Harrison)
How do you deal with your stress?: I can almost remember their funny faces (Jet • Paul McCartney)
What is your biggest burden in life?: Somebody’s knocking at the door, somebody’s ringing the bell (Let Em In • Wings)
What’s the coolest thing about your best friend?: Hands, put your empty hands in mine (Stand By You • Rachel Platten)
Why do you love the one you do?: Sweet, wonderful you. You make me happy with the things you do (You Make Loving Fun • Fleetwood Mac)
If a friend broke their arm and got a cast, what would you write on it?: Gonna build myself a castle high up in the clouds (Dance the Night Away • Cream)
You see a stick and wet cement. What do you write?: It feels so right now hold me tight (Hold Me Tight • The Beatles)
A guy just stole your (purse, car, etc)! What do you yell at him?: Welcome to the camp, I guess you all know why you’re here (We’re Not Gonna Take It • The Who)
You pass a crack addict on the corner one day. Solemnly he tells you: Well now we’re respected in society, we don’t worry bout the things that we used to be, we’re talkin heroin with the president (Respectable • The Rolling Stones)
What will your baby’s first words be?: He knows about you in every way, he's memorized every part of your face (Does He Know • One Direction)
You are at your wit’s end, and decide to write a suicide note. It begins: The pound is sinking, the peso’s falling, the lira’s reeling and feeling quite appalling (The Pound is Sinking • Paul McCartney)
Why can’t there be peace in the world?: Let’s talk about one, bay-bay, ya gotta hear me out (Get Another Boyfriend • Backstreet Boys)
How do you think people see you?: I walked in the band just started, the singer couldn't carry a tune in a bucket (Ten Rounds with Jose Cuervo • Tracy Byrd)
Inside, though, what kind of person are you really?: well the rain was a-fallin’ and the ground turned to mud, I was watchin’ all the people running from the flood (Deliver Your Children • Wings)
If you wanted to comfort a friend, you’d say: Anytime, any day you can hear the people say that love is blind, well I don’t know but I say love is kind (Listen to What the Man Said • Wings)
When you want to cheer someone up, you say: *I just make series of nonsense sounds* (Pow R. Toc H. • Pink Floyd)
You’re unbelievably depressed because your friend just told you…: people say we’ve got it made, don’t they know we’re so afraid? (Isolation • John Lennon)
When you are incredibly bored, you start thinking about…?: I drive all alone, at night, I drive all alone, don’t know what I’m headed for. (Dead End Friends • Them Crooked Vultures)
You’re a classy person, so instead of cursing when you’re mad, you yell…?: I met a gin-soaked, bar-room queen in Memphis (Honky Tonk Women • The Rolling Stones)
you’re writing a love letter, but what are you going to begin it with?: The theater’s so obsessed with drama so depressed, it’s hard to sell a ticket on broadway! (Keep It Gay • The Producers)
If you were to write a letter to the President of the USA, it would say…?: It’s a boy, Mrs. Walker, it’s a boy (It’s a Boy • The Who)
What would someone have to tell you to make you really angry?: No no no no, don’t phunk with mah haaahrt (Don’t Phunk with My Heart • Black-Eyed Peas)
…To make you really depressed?: Cars and girls are easy to come by in this day and age, laughing joking drinking smoking til I spend my wage (Over Under Sideways Down • The Yardbirds)
...To make you sexually aroused?: Catch a star if you can, wish for something special (Are You Ready for Love • The Spinners)
Your first thoughts waking up were…: Life is just a bowl of All-Bran, you wake up every morning and it’s there (Happydaystoytown • The Small Faces)
Your last words before falling asleep will be…: the sun is shining in the sky, there ain’t a cloud in sight (Mr. Blue Sky • Electric Light Orchestra)
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Mar 2021 Wins
1 - Work againn except the medical record ran out. So we went back at 12 am. Relaxeddd at home. Fasted today (still got 2 fasting debts to go). Meeting with dr dafsah dr bayushi and dr debby at 20:30. I embarrassed myself lmao,,, and what you can say as "asal bunyi". Let the overthinking and fear begin. I actually woke up 3 times during the night, lmaoo is it anxiety? Never happened to me before.
2 - we need to take care of administrations to get more medical record so we did. Wasted almost half of the day but we finally managed. Immediately fell asleep at home lmao
3 - the usual day in harkit. Asked more medical records. Planned to go to cp to see slip ons but the tj i wanted to ride went straight to kalideres so like the sane person i am of course i went back home. Timing is very222 great sometimes in life. Zoom meeting with the ever so kind dr eva. Mahmud and dela joined the assistant gang
4 - magang. Met dr eva in pediatric icu. late late evening lunch was kungpao chicken sec bowl (which i exclaimed as sweet. And then my friend said kungpao is supposed to taste like that. Huh). I was picked up after maghrib. Laid down in bed, playing my phone until 22ish and i fell asleep. Damn i shouldve slept earlier yknow
5 - magang. Ate spicy salmon onigiri from lawson for lunch. Went to btkv basecamp with mahmud since RM was a bit crowded. Not even 10 mins in, and we excused ourselves because misuh2 btkv near the computer on our table. Went to nonama in le meridien after magang with ara ness gen cal hanin amal alya. The sushi was so so (too much rice). Yay for lots of sashimi. Salmon kushiage was tasty. Salmon aburi cheesy stuff was tasty. Soba so so. Takoyaki explodes in your mouth. While waiting for mom, saw live piano performance in the lobby. Shes playing alone. I hope she knows someone out there appreciates it *oddly melancholic*
6 - slept in. Felt good. Hurriedly showered and got ready bcs i thot it was getting a bit late and turns out i arrived in halte kalideres 9:11 am lmao. Breakfast slash lunch was penyetan cok ayam. The sambal was not THAT spicy but my tongue has weakened now. Picked up some data in RM. Went to central park with my heavy ass bag to search for slip ons. Didnt find one yet. Went to kkv for the first time. Went back home and its heavy rain on the tj but dry in kalideres. Snacked on fitz cookies (its basically vegan tuffis) on the bus since i felt hungryyy. Juan bought chicken satay and when i arrived theyre all eating but i didnt feel like eating with them lmao (its been a while since i last did) so i just went upstairs, finished that fitz cookies, fell asleep in my mukena (after maghrib) and skipping isya :(
7 - didnt feel like doing anything when i woke up, but forced myself to open laptop for nemo. Played a bit of keyboard. Ate last nights satay. Rly was in a rut until i managed to shower (i last showered yesterday morning,,,) and felt a bit better. Even did night skin care and mask (which i didnt do lately)
8 - magang as usual while listening to curhat babu. I was still feeling "off" even though i was outside already. Felt a bit more normal after i had lawson's ice arabica gayo covfefe. Lunch was spicy sec bowl with extra chicken. Coffee's effect is amazing im just blown away. Like im not tired. I feel normal. I dont feel like immediately going to bed when i arrive at the house. Read and finished starving anonymous before bed. Its... A lot to take in. Especially before bed lmaoo
9 - mencret2 in the morning and i blame it on spicy sec bowl. my pace in magang is so slow why :( lunch is carbonara spaghetti from Barilla (29k with discount). It does make you feel full, and it is creamy. But the beef bacon is so few 😐 it will be more delish if it has more bacon. Picked up by mom after maghrib today. At 19:30 ish my stomach hurtedddd bcs of rising acid.its been a while since it happened. Thankfully mom bought tan ek tjoan and brownies. The ache dissipated after i finished my bread. Its so cold in the car tfff or is it my poor metabolism
10 - magang til after isya since tomorrow is a holiday. powered by lawson’s arabica gayo after lunch (good habit’s minimal-taste fried rice lol). while on the way back, kapjagiii ukmppd result announcement. alhamdulillah i passed. congratulated by some. slept late seeing people’s social media update.
11 - woke up late. didnt feel hungry, so i ate at 13:00 ish (tuna, peanut-chocolate sandwich). slept after eating. ghosted mahmuda calling me regarding after zuhur liqo. didnt pick up atikah’s calls. cant seem to talk lmao. rly rly tried to do dr dafsah’s excel this day, but cant seem to start my day. i was like “i’ll take a shower” but i didnt. “i’ll start the excel at 20:00″ i didnt. i just slept. and woke. and slept. dreamed about going to dufan with clara but we bailed since there was no promo. i practically didnt no anything today lol
12 - finally showered (that was supposedly done yesterday lmao). my pink flats broke down. i was the only one who come lmao. did dr dafsah’s excel and finished at 10. went to TA and tried popolamama’s ayce. tried chicken arabiatta (very tomato-ey taste, not a fan), pepperoni, bolognese and banana caramel with vanilla ice cream. Managed to eat 4 small pizza out of 9 flavor choices. While eating i remembered i came to celebrate passing ukmppd. so in my mind i pat myself in the back and said (not out loud) congrats for passing ukmppd. it felt bittersweet, but a nice validation. tried to search for slip ons again but didnt find one. bought a black top in uniqlo. started reading here you are
13 - lazed and lazed and jhs friends wanted to meet up but i cant even muster the courage to shower lmao. after zuhur was the meet up time but i slept at 12. lets go. come on. out. suddenly i have to build up a will to socialize just like with running. and i managed. left the house at 13:30-ish. went to ali kopi dm and got thai tea. slowly warming up my social battery. and then things felt a bit better. and we moved to flavola (got the somay). and talked we did, until suddenly its near isya. and then i had to go back bcs mom was being restrictive as usual. if it werent for that i would stay longer w atikah and pupuy. felt energized afterwards, read more of here you are and slept at 00:00 ish
14 - woke up, played some keyboard. im not prepared for another monday. Mangago is down. Unboxed my knockoff airpods that arrived couple of days ago. The sound and function was ok. Showered near the end of zuhur.
15 - magang as usual. Got out of my gloomy (felt a bit better) after going out. Lunch was ayam pedas lawson with added fried chicken. Also bought arabica gayo. Went back home before maghrib. Why must i be here while my dad talk about whatever before sholat maghrib. I hate it here. Ara and redita stayed over bcs theyre 'supposedly' going to rsut to pick up samples. Except it was cancelled and in the morning they went back to rscm,,,
16 - its only morning but i yapped abt worrying in our future to poor ekal who just sat there lmaoo. I told him how i realized im easily bored. Tried K-Chop for lunch, bought kimchi bokkeumbap, pajeon and kimchi jeon. The fried rice tasted like fried rice but with a hint of kimchi. Kimchi jeon was good and refreshing. the pajeon was basically egg with added ingredients. But it did make me feel full. Suddenly felt like singing life goes on with the keyboard.
17 - tried fitfut for lunch. Got mushroom chicken steak and katsu wrap. Their katsu is,,, simply put, tasteless. Like those HEALTHY healthy foods. The (small) chicken steak was ok. The mushroom sauce tasted good. Zoom call with dr dafsah at 12 am. More work i guess,,,
18 - fasted today. Still got 1 debt to go. Sahur was indomie, banana and protein shake. Did not feel hungry in magang but i kinda felt lightheaded. And then i cant take it anymore and went home at 2 pm. Arrived after ashar. Theres PLENTY of time to do stuff, right? Nope. I just laid in bed playing my phone til maghrib (iftar was chicken noodle) and continued until i fell asleep. My dream was absurd lmaoooo
19 - had custom salad hut for lunch. felt suuuper fult. bought pop cookies since it was the last day of grabfood’s 50% promo. was picked up after isya by mom. we talked with the resident who’s doing his thesis stuff and it turns out he’s from the same shs as mahmuda lmao. he bought kopsus and donat kampung for us, how kinddd :”) i said “mantap ni kakak kelasnya mahmud” and he said “kamu kan adek kelas saya juga”. kind seniors. i hope they have great careers and be successful and im learning to be kind from kind people. i dont know, im just easily touched by simple gestures lmaoo. first time trying tuku’s coffee. it’s smooth and creamy (like the milk and coffee unites (?)) and it doesnt separate when you leave it. its milky but has a strong coffee taste. Slept at 11 pm-ish, playing my phone
20 - lazed. saw long covid webinar. ate mom’s salmon mentai, pop cookies matcha cream cheese and dark chocolate. the dark chocolate one, especially a bit cold, taste soooo good wtf. concentrated sugar and chocolate at its finest. played some keyboard. saw youtube vids about the genius jacob collier. lent my byu phone number so ara could use it to catfish in coffee and bagel lol. bought sbux green tea and caramel macchiato 1 L for 100k + delivery fee and my bro said it tasted good
21 - tried pop cookies red velvet this time. Its super sweet yall and i thought martabak orins was the epitome of d40 bolus. did pamela reif 10 mins calorie burn that wont kill you. except i got doms WITHIN the day of work out. also attempted sun salutation and my leg is so damn stiff. did some work on sunday!!! wow!!!! (after wasting 2 weekends) finished skimming air gear lol. it still made me feel glorious.
22 - volunteered to help vaccination at rptra planet senen w akis els yud kind. Finished at about 13:30. We got chicken noodle, nasi padang and mcd lol. Went to senen bus station. Prayed there. Called mahmud and turns out theres no new medical record so i went straight home. Ate the mcd and lazed in bed
23 - vaccine volunteer again, this time in sd 01 kramat, w regen nagit red adita. Observation table again. Except its twice the amount of pt compared to yesterday. Nebeng redita to gang IX and walked to nessa's place. Went to GI and we watched violet evergarden (tif gen ness kris indah ara). The ac in the screenX cgv theater wasnt even on. Picked up by mom at 20:30 ish so i hurried down. The movie was hilarious w indah's commentary
24 - sooo sleepy and lazy but finally went to harkit. Waiting for pak oji to get medicak records, i shopped at sociolla lol. Bought eyebrow pencil, eyeshadow palette, blush since i dont have those (i only have cheap 3 color mizzu eyeshadow). Did some work. Met kiki in RM. "planned" to do the rest of magang work at home and arrivd back at 3-ish pm but we all know thats a lie. Lazed. Maghrib. Bought sbux 1L to have some caffeine through the green tea. Sinau airway class by dr zeta (focused thanks to the caffeine). Had some "awake time" left and did not feel sleepy til 10:30ish pm but i had to sleep since i got 1 more fasting to go 2mrw. No progress on magang work aaaaa
25 - had indomie, boiled egg, banana and protein powder for sahur. magang. emir took a while to pick me up even though i already told him the time im arriving and i ended up ordering grab lmao and he showed up right before the grab. liqo w kak kartika and mahmud while sipping caramel macchiato. did some translation (job by dr triya)
26 - picked up pld medal, gown and buavita (lol) at salemba and then went to harkit. met kiki again. lunch was k-chop. quite good and fulfilling. waiting for mom to pick me up before maghrib. Was lazying around at night and it turns out clara came w kefas. She called but dumb ass me had my phone on silent. She surprised me and came all the wayyy with a little tayo cake and a line friends pillow. I was awkward w kefas bcs im awkward w new people :):):) she went back and then i cried afterwards in my room. Fianti sent me a wish before midnight (somehow havent fell asleep) and then i close my eyes and go to the dream world
27 - had mie goreng for breakfast. fell asleep again. woke to silvi and racheel calling me and as usual my phone was not ringing. there’s racil silvi devi reza outside the door lmao. they (including atikah) surprised me with gift (a bag). i asked them to come with me to gi since im gonna eat w regen. we tried yakiniku like and the meat was juicy and yum, better then kintan. racil dkk ate marugame udon just below. wanted to get banban but it was so crowded. went back by grab. racil and atikah stayed over. talked until like 12 am. forced myself to pray isya.
28 - talked for hours like we usually do, tried some makeup bcs i need to practice for pld lol. tarik tiga to their place bcs i needed to borrow pld clothes lol. rearranged my room and i was sweating. i should’ve drank macchiato and did some work but i cant bring myself to so i just sleep. hangovers post feeling normal are never the best feeling
29 - woke up super late. cant bring myself to go to harkit. i feel like shit. sick and tired of feeling sick and tired ((quoting jhene aiko)). mustered some will to shower. rode my on bike pretending im going to harkit except im going to mcd. got big breakfast and lemon tea. went to flavola, ordered kopsus coklat and indomie + telor. Went back home after isya.
30 - Binge watching sean and kaycee’s vids lol it all began with their leave the door open dance :). went to harkit by TJ after the redcap was unaccessible at 09:30ish. lunch was truffle belly chicken mushroom (somehow there’s 50% disc). Took some needed data and went back home at 14:20. did (new) translation for dr Triya. finally drank homemade matcha latte after a while.
31 - originally intended to go to flavola after zuhur, but i just cant muster the strength. did dr triya’s translation work. didnt do any ecmocard today. felt like shit. ate the tayo small cake from clara. quite good and not too heavy. gladi kotor pld today. did green screen using mukena lol. fell asleep. skipped isya and the next morning’s subuh :( basically i ended march feeling like utter shit lol
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exo love me right repackage album ranking bc why not
love me right- dude,,,,,,this song is SO GOOD I LOVE IT SO MUCH tho i still have no fucking clue whats happening in the music video its fine bc they look great and they look happy and the song is fantastic. however this album is so good that its only mid tier if i were to rank it that way but i cant bc im indecisive lmao 10/10 pls someone tell me why theyre american football players im so confused
tender love- okay exols,,,,,,who here CANT hear baekhyun singing "chicken tender~" when this song comes on????? if you cant that probably means youre a baby-l which means welcome to the fandom!!!!! its from a livestream him chanyeol junmyeon and jongdae did late 2015-early 2016?? (and since youre a baby-l sorry im referring to the members by their real names and not stage names that gets confusing when youre just starting out so uh junmyeon=suho and jongdae=chen okay?? good) where they sing songs from this album and the sing for you album its hilarious bUt aNyWaY this song is so cute and fun and that mini video they did (i think it was a vcr at one point but i cant remember what for) is so adorable i wish exo did more of that stuff 10/10 gimme more cute shit
call me baby- this song always gives me the same feeling as when i heard it the first time. i remember vividly how i felt when i saw the mv for the first time especially since i was more of a casual stan of kpop wayyyy back when and had stopped around the end of 2013 and only got back in the end of 2015 as a die hard exol. i was just in awe of everything and i couldnt stop listening to this song for MONTHS (also couldnt take my eyes off minseok and yixing the whole time lol still an exom stan at heart),,,,,,it made me feel nostalgic and like i was discovering something new at the same time and the swirl of emotion i get when i hear it happens every time and i love it so this has a special place in my heart 12/10 side note uhhh why do we STILL have no answers for the pathcode teasers?????? SM TELL ME
transformer- uhhhh this song took YEARS to grow on me,,,,,like i only started to like it THIS year,,,,,,yeah im a little late lol sorry imo the beginning of the song is something i still dont really like and i think the chorus could be better but its not as bad as i was thinking when i first heard it,,,,,that said i hardly listen to it and its probably near bottom of the list for this one 7/10 the chinese version is a lil better tao really shines and i love that
what if...: mmmm i love this song,,,,a vocal masterpiece,,,,this is a song i like to listen to while on a long drive staring out the window contemplating life,,,,,,its so pleasant to the ears and ksoo really shines in this song id love for him to do solo songs like this 10/10 im lowkey imagining what luhan would sound like singing this song the whole time 😔
my answer: ONE OF THE BEST SONGS ON THE ALBUM ITS ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL and i wish they performed it more ;-; this is another song kyungsoo shines in (he sings well in chinese too) but i LOVED junmyeons voice here as well he sings sweet love ballads the best same with yixing!!! 🥰 12/10 give us more songs like this please and thank you (also imagining luhan singing this 🤧 why sm why)
exodus: OKAY THIS SONG IS SO UNDERRATED AND THATS SO UPSETTING THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITES ON THE WHOLE ALBUM AND NO ONE EVEN MENTIONS IT WHAT THE FUCK like i cant even explain what i like about it its just so good?????? also when baek (or jongdae if yoy listen to the chinese version theyre both so so so good) goes "shes dangerously HOOOOOOOOOOT" damn, gets me every time also chinese version we get raspy singing tao which is ALWAYS welcome 12/10 appreciate this song god dammit
el dorado: okay i wont lie,,,,,,,,i wasnt sold on this song UNTIL i saw the concert version then my third eye was opened WIDE,,,,,,,this song is so epic and no one talks about the chinese version but its also amazing?????? like everyone talks about baekhyuns high note which is amazing and deserve praise but dae does it too and its just,,,,WOW but i guess people arent as wowed bc he does high notes more often????? idk this song is just amazing in every way 12/10 i wonder what this song and mv would be like if it had been a title track,,,,,that music video would be SICK
playboy: CONTROVERSIAL OPINION ALERT!!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! so yall know jonghyun from shinee wrote this song and gave it to exo and theres a clip of him at a fansign singing it and to be honest its 10000000000000× better and sexier than exos version. come at me idc i said what i said and i stand by it djhajjhdhs like,,,,,the performance of it is sexy but i think the song by itself doesnt go far enough with the sexiness and for me, if i need to watch a performance of the song to like it and cant enjoy it by itself, then i dont think its a success, at least for me. i mainly listen to songs through headphones while im doing literally anything so id say 90% of the time i only hear the audio and if only the audio doesnt do it for me i skip it 8/10 has potential but jjong shouldve kept it imo sorry
first love: i always forget this song exists,,,,,,and ill probably forget it again lmao its just kinda whatever for me even now its kinda boring imo the only thing notable for me is that the "ow" parts in the background are used in a funny exosexo vine and every time i see it im like "oh whats that song called again i always forget :/" 6.5/10
hurt: THIS is what im talking about,,,,,,this is my favorite song on the album its hauntingly beautiful and brUH THE HARMONIES ARE AMAZING also JONGINS VOCALS SHINING WE LOVE TO HEAR IT!!!!! the "you huuuuuuuurt me" part is so satisfying for some reason?????? goddamn i love this song both versions just kill me 12/10 gimme more
lady luck: this is another song i dont like the beginning but unlike the other song after like 30 seconds it immediately becomes PHENOMENAL tbh if i could just cut out that first part itd probably be my favorite song,,,,,,also for all baby-ls listen to this song live you will be transcended their live vocals are no joke 9.5/10
beautiful: i dont know how to really explain how this song makes me feel,,,,,,like the instrumentals just take me to a fantasy or dream world where everything seems happy and sweet like something id imagine in my childhood,,,,,,i feel like that made no sense and it probably didnt make any sense sorry lmao 11/10 i should listen to this song more (both versions are amazing what the fuck thats not fair why am i so indecisive)
exo 2014 (promise): this song is like a pavlovian response, i hear the first couple piano notes and immediately get emotional jxhsoalsbdhbx they really poured out their hearts and souls for us for this song and it makes me ugly cry every time ESPECIALLY CHANYEOLS RAP HOLY SHIT ITS SO POWERFUL AND SO RAW AND EMOTIONAL,,,that was the moment i saw his growth as a rapper and as a songwriter,,,,,same with jongdae his singing and the lyrics he wrote were beautiful,,,,,and minseoks and junmyeons voices were so soft but so emotional,,,,,and we could NEVER forget yixing and how this song wouldnt exist if he didnt write the chinese version first and the members convinced sm to use it after yixing went to them with the song and sm rejected it,,,,,,i and many other exols feel like the chinese version is written more to the former members and the korean version is written addressed to us exols and theyre both SUPER FUCKING HEARTBREAKING,,,,yixing really bore his soul for us and i cry every time which is exactly what im doing rn lmao 12/10 this song should come with a complementary tissue box
in conclusion el dorado shouldve had an mv and i mourn the missed potential every day, my hate for sm entertainment grows each day im on this mortal coil, and please tell me what the fUCK call me baby and love me right have to do with the lore ITS BEEN FIVE YEARS
#for the most part i didnt talk about the chinese versions bc the main reason i liked them more isnt there anymore so#unless i mention it specifically just assume i mean the korean version lol#this album is still god tier among kpop and i love that about her#exo#exo album ranking#next is sing for you
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Correcting the “Corrected” Record
[Full Post Here]
Warning: I talk a lot- As Usual. Eevee talks a lot too, so to prevent this post from being a mile long I’m going to post some of the bits I’m responding to as links.
I’m only going to go over the shit that’s nasty, like, no one is talking about “eevee putting glips boobs online” or how glip self diagnosed themselves with autism, so I’m going to just skip over that shit, and of course stuff I am personally up to date on. I don’t know about the fieldoftheother or spazkid situation for example, I don’t have any context besides what biased Eevee provides so there’s no point in me going over something I genuinely do not know about.
Re: Kiwifarms
1 2
I’m not going to sit around here and defend kiwi farms. They’re wild, they do their own thing, but at least they don’t lie about what they’re here for and what they do. I see them as record keepers , because they’re good at getting screen caps and archives. Either way, I don’t exactly see Eevees point here? The nature of Kiwifarms doesn’t mean the the achieves and tweets that came out of you and your partners mouth are faked. You and your partners still said these things. Is the fact you argued against child porn being illegal now invalid because it was from a “single tweet”?
Re: Autistic People are Emotionless Robots
You know what, you’re actually right here, PK called sociopaths emotionless robots, but when examining the entire log (which you didn’t provide probably for this reason) does show some other....questionable quotes.
>> Entire Log in Question <<
...Take this as you will.
In my opinion, you guys said some really ablest shit here all while trying to get information that is not your business out of the user in question and then when called on it you kicked them. While, true, you guys did not call autistic people emotionless robots, you where directly ableist to the user in question, which, honestly is kinda worse? You where being shitty to this user and asking them personal questions and then kicked them because you thought they were autistic.
Re: Glip wants kids to see their porn. (this is a big one)
Okay then show the fucking logs Eevee. This chat happened on Discord. Discord keeps logs for a long time. Your claims of the actual context of this message means nothing if you don’t provide the logs you have access too.
Now, there are a few reasons why they wouldn’t show the logs that they definitely have access to, yet claim the context behind them.
1. Eevee is lying about the actual context behind what PK said
2. Eevee is telling the truth about the full context but has something else to hide with the context of what was said (like in the autism example where yeah pk didn’t call people with autism emotionless robots, but they where blatantly ableist to a user in the full context)
3. Eevee is dumb. No. Really. If the context is what they claim it to be there’s no reason to not show the logs.
And even in that context? What PK said is still fucked up. It’s fucked up to hope that children read you fucking porn. Period. End of Discussion.
This is just straight up a fucking lie holy shit
[Alices Character Page] [Jacklyns Page too]
And you know what? How about that time PK advertised your game Fox Flux that you made for a fucking horny game jam on the sfw site?
Don’t you think that counts for posting nsfw links to the sfw site? And with how intertwined Glips personal twitter is with the nsfw stuff don’t you think that counts too? Glips personal twitter advertises forbidden flora too so gosh maybe it’s not as hard to find it as you think it is?
And like it or fucking not: Making a -sfw- story where you need to read a -nsfw- side of it to get the full story makes the entire story nsfw. If PK can’t handle not having important things happen in the nsfw bits of the comic because they’re not a good writer, then maybe pk needs to admit that their comic isn’t sfw since you can’t get the full thing without going to the nsfw territory.
Multiple comics, actually. Interesting manipulative use of singular words to make it seem like this hasn’t been a thing for literal fucking years Eevee
NSFW EXAMPLES: (seriously guys: It’s bad)
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 1- oh you get the point.
My general opinion on this is that PK has done this for so long and with their self admitted fetish of teaching young boys sex that their apology is less of an apology for drawing child porn, but more of an apology for getting caught drawing child porn.
Here’s another big one.
Ahem.
Now. I’m a cis lesbian, so this isn’t exactly my place to talk...but....
From my Genderfluid (masculine leaning) friend.
From my Trans male friend
From my Trans Woman friend
From another trans male friend
From a Trans Male submitter
From a Gender Fluid person who recently spoke out against PK
See a theme? PK’s portrayal of their trans cast is offensive because it’s obvious fetish material in addition to bad representation on how dysphoria works.
But don’t you dare fucking point that out like this person did:
PK then cropped out how the persons main issue and totally misrepresented their argument!
PK turned the users “I don’t like how you use trans women as fetish fuel” comments and turned it into “THINK OF THE CIS GAYS WAH” (by the way nice homophobia!! It’s not like gay men are oppressed or anything you fucking cunt)
PK. People think you’re transphobic because when trans people point out how your portrayal of them is offensive, you fucking do this shit. You don’t give a shit about trans representation. If you did, you would take their consistent across the board criticism and try to work on it to make your trans representation positive. But you don’t. You fucking mock them for daring to point out your trans representation sucks.
Oh? And by the way?
As a lesbian, I’m horribly offended by Glips homophobia too. Your portrayal of lesbian relationships is full of abuse and rape and you seem to do everything in your power to make your ‘lesbian sex’ as straight as possible. When you’re given two characters with vaginas (a cis and a post transition women) you put them in situations where there is always a penis involved. In one instance you had it happen in a virtual reality so one of the ladies could have a dick, and in another the post transition trans girl literally had a dick come out of fucking nowhere. Don’t you think it’s a little bit off with how much lesbian porn you draw it always has PiV in it? We get it! You like PiV! But stop using trans people as a scapegoat to call your straight porn gay.
Just admit that you like straight sex and stop trying to falsely claim your comic is lgbt+ friendly because that makes good money these days, because it’s fucking not. Also admit you hate gay men already too. You admitted to being uncomfortable in furry communities because of all the gay men before and now you’re using a non-binary individual calling out your transphobia as an excuse to attack gay men again.
Pardon my language because this strikes a personal cord with me because the lgbt+ community is so close and personal to me.
PK. You’re a homophobic, transphobic and aphobic cunt.
Your portrayal of trans women is obvious offensive fetish material, and whenever trans people point it out to you, you disregard them and insult them. Your representation of ‘healthy’ lesbian relationships is abusive and rapey. You openly insult and mock gay men. Oh! And we can’t forget the time you literally made your Asexual character not ace anymore out of thin air, taking away your asexual representation because people pointed out that your ace representation is kinda not great. Because, you know, the porn is way more important then your lgbt+ positivity :))))
Fuck off. You clearly care more about your porn then your lgbt+ representation. So stop marketing Floraverse as a place for positive lgbt+ representation. It’s not. You don’t care about us. You only care about the money you can trick us into giving you by falsely marketing your comic towards us.
I’m just going to repeat my initial reaction to this because I believe it’s correct.
Eevee you literally said you were uncomfortable with an image being illegal in regards to child porn. You then argued for it.
That’s not a “whoops, I mispoke”. You don’t say something like that, and then argue for it and then go ‘woops, didn’t mean it guys! Sorry!” That’s bullshit. You’re only sorry that you got caught supporting fucking child porn dude.
How was this person being an asshole?
Or these people?
What about this artist?
Or how about this backer who just wanted to warn pk that what they’re doing could get the kick starter taken down?
What did Matt Brunett do that was so mean that warranted you and PK harassing him off tumblr for awhile?
in short:
shut the fuck up eevee yall are extra as fuck for no reason
im done writing this, you guys get the point
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Pale Skin and Onyx Eyes [15]
~NEW CHAPTER 07/10/17~
a/n: YO--LO it’s here. i’m not even rereading it over before i publish it now, because i’ve read this chapter fucking umpteenth times and this is what yall will get!!! THIS CONCLUDES PART II OF PSAOE...!!!!!! i’ve been crazy busy and stressed because of this damn research paper i’m writing this summer. enjoy the chapter, and no promises on when the next chapter will be out :( but i love you all PLS SUPPORT ME I PROMISE I AM TRYING~~ also i’m happy to tag people who want notifs on this story :)
P.S. i’m so sorry @lu-cien but i’m pretty sure you’ve read most of this chapter too, just warning you advance!! <3 <3 <3
[Throne of Glass] [Elide x Lorcan] [W.I.P.]
Summary: Set after Empire of Storms, Elide Lochan and Lorcan Salvaterre are traveling with Rowan and Gavriel in search of Queen Aelin. Will Elide ever be able to forgive Lorcan for betraying her and her Queen? Where will they go next?
Chapter Word Count: 2974 words
Part I: The Search - Ch. 1-8
Part II: The Journey - Ch. 9-15
Part III: The Mission - Ch. 16+
Chapters: [ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ] [ 4 ] [ 5 ] [ 6 ] [ 7 ] [ 8 ] [ 9 ] [ 10 ] [ 11 ] [ 12 ] [ 13 ] [ 14 ] [ 15 ] [ 16 ] ...
Read it on: [ fanfiction.net ] [ archive of our own ]
Elide
Elide and Lorcan repacked their bags with their newly bought supplies and met Meryllis outside the stable, where she was casually feeding carrots to a spotted mare.
"Ready?" Meryllis dusted off her hands and grinned at them. Elide wondered how the red-haired woman could maintain such a sunny disposition when her younger sister had been kidnapped. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught Lorcan's slight frown; evidently, he was wondering the same.
Elide nodded, and the trio set out. Lorcan frequently checked behind them to make sure they weren't being followed. As soon as they were far enough away, he cast his dark magic out like a net around them so that they would be warned if anyone dangerous was nearby. Fellow travelers, bandits, or worse…
If Meryllis noticed his invisible magic, she didn't mention it.
As they made their way westward, the dusty plains slowly melded into rolling hills with billowing green grasses.
The powerful mare Elide was riding seemed eager to be traveling again. Elide was sad that they would have to leave their horses behind at the river. She had grown attached to Nala, her secret name for the mare, often patting Nala's neck comfortingly and murmuring words of encouragement in the her ear. Sometimes, Nala's ear would twitch, like she understood what Elide was saying.
Ahead of her, Lorcan was riding shirtless, as anyone might expect on a muggy summer day. Elide caught herself admiring the tanned, honed muscles of his back as he flexed over his horse, a mottled stallion. Sometimes, Elide wondered if she was going delirious with the heat because she caught herself staring at him more and more often. And sometimes, she even imagined herself underneath or on top of him…
Elide groaned internally. We could literally be riding to our deaths, Elide reminded herself, shaking her head.
Meryllis caught her gaze then and waggled her eyebrows suggestively. Elide flashed her a coy smile, but inside, she struggled to contain the irrational anger that flared towards the red-haired woman. After all, Meryllis didn't know that Lorcan and Elide weren't… really married.
It was… complicated between them, Elide decided. Her brows furrowed. Or maybe it wasn't. Lorcan seemed to be… pretty simple, underneath it all.
The humidity coupled with the heat were insufferable, but not once did Elide complain, not about the heat, or the aching in her back and legs, and certainly not about their mission. It had been her choice to go after all, and she knew she hadn't signed up for a vacation.
And… Lorcan had put his ass on the line, too. He was used to commanding armies and whatnot, yet he had essentially offered to babysit her for two weeks while training her into a fledgling assassin. Elide almost laughed aloud. It had only been a few months since her escape from Morath, and she could barely believe the events that had transpired since then.
Lorcan often glanced towards the sky, reading something in the atmosphere and clouds with his heightened senses that she couldn't. After riding for hours, they finally took a break to stretch their legs and give the horses water.
Elide massaged her ruined ankle as she leaned against a large rock. Meryllis squatted on the ground in the shade, with her water canteen lying on the ground beside her.
Lorcan simply remarked, "It's going to storm."
Elide scanned the skies as well, but she hadn't been able to sense whatever it was that warned Lorcan of an impending storm. Not yet, at least.
She knew the tell-tale signs of an imminent thunderstorm. Vanishing sunlight as the dark thunderheads rolled in, silence that spread for miles amongst the creatures of the earth, unseasonal gusts in the wind. But predicting a storm's path from this far away? Elide's senses weren't that quite honed.
"It might storm," Meryllis corrected, squinting up at the sky as well.
The look Lorcan gave her could wilt flowers. "There's a high likelihood it will storm. Is that better?"
Meryllis's mouth quirked up on one side. "Much." She didn't seem deterred by his fierce demeanor.
Elide cleared her throat and spoke hastily before Lorcan could bark back. "So, Meryllis… You're headed towards Morath right?" Lorcan shot her a warning look, but she ignored it.
Meryllis squinted up at her. "If that's where my sister is, that's where I'm headed."
Elide nodded. Meryllis would find out eventually that they were headed there as well, if she hadn't already. Elide had a feeling that this woman had good intuition.
"Not sure what to say?" Meryllis grinned wolfishly, a hand raised to block the sunlight. She definitely knew more than she was letting on. "Why don't you start with the truth?"
Damn.
"Which lie first?" Elide grinned back, crossing her arms. Meryllis stood up and faced her, dusting her hands off.
"Hmm. How about your names, to start?"
"Our names?" She immediately plastered confusion onto her face and pressed a hand to her chest. "I'm Marion. Marion Lark."
"Maybe not yours," Meryllis allowed, "But his." She chucked her chin towards Lorcan. "He paused too long before giving me his name, before. And he didn't say it very convincingly." Lorcan's withering stare was back.
"My name is Lorcan Salvaterre, you bitch." Lorcan snarled. Elide glared at him reproachfully.
"Lorcan, be nice," she ordered. He ignored her, continuing to bare his teeth slightly at the woman. Elide recognized the warning look in his eyes. Honestly, was he territorial with women too…?
Elide sighed and returned her attention to the red-haired woman standing in front of her. How much could she reveal? She had to reveal that they were going to Morath. Meryllis was headed in the same direction, so even if they pretended to split off after reaching the river, Oakwald Forest was a treacherous place to traverse alone. And Elide wouldn't abandon Meryllis there; it would make more sense to end her now and grant her a quick, merciful death instead of the death she would face in Oakwald Forest or Morath.
Plus, Elide felt responsible for what happened to Beryl – Lord Vernon Lochan must have given the order to search for witches and magic users in Terrasen. Hatred coursed through her as the memory of her uncle's cruel, smiling face rose up in her mind.
Meryllis was watching her expectantly.
Elide chose her words carefully. "I can't tell you all the details, but I can see that you've seen through some of our lies. So truthfully, we're headed for Morath as well. There's… something I must do." She omitted the plan to assassinate her uncle, and instead let Meryllis's imagination wander, let her come to her own conclusions.
Meryllis straightened and looked Elide over again with her hazel eyes, as if reassessing her.
Elide continued, turning to fully face the woman. "We'll take you to Morath. But only if you won't be a hindrance. And no more questions, about who we are. After we near the fortress, we part ways. You find your sister, and I do what I need to do." Her tone left no room for argument, and she crossed her arms over her chest. Elide was glad to see that Lorcan looked mildly impressed by her assertiveness.
Meryllis's hazel eyes narrowed, and she looked at Lorcan and then back at Elide. She crossed her arms as well, and merely replied, "Fine."
A snarl ripped from Lorcan's throat then, and he immediately positioned himself in front of Elide, shielding her with his body. Meryllis had skipped backwards a few steps, her hands up.
"Magic user," he growled, never taking his eyes off the hazel-eyed woman. Magic? Did his net catch it? Elide felt a little lost. Did magic run in their lines up in the mountains? Had the villages been unregulated?
Meryllis held her hands up innocently. "Woah, woah. No need to get angry. I was just curious."
"Curious about what?" Elide asked firmly. Was she dangerous?
"About whether I'd be able to escape if you guys decided to kill me and dump my body in the river instead." She smiled wryly and looked pointedly at Lorcan, who indeed had a murderous expression on his face.
"She can use magic," Lorcan hissed. Elide rolled her eyes, even though she knew he couldn't see.
"So can we," she reminded him, "And you used your magic to protect us, back then. She probably noticed. Not everyone's an idiot, you know. She doesn't want to die, either." Elide stepped out from behind his shoulder and glared at him to back down.
Lorcan glanced at her for a fraction of a second, before relaxing his stance and smoothing out his expression. "Tell us about your magic, then."
Meryllis shrugged her shoulders and inspected her cuticles. "It's more entertaining if you guess." It was clear that while she acknowledged his power, he hadn't quite earned her respect yet.
Lorcan snapped back, "How about I torture it out of you instead."
"Lorcan!" Elide exclaimed, tugging on his shirt sleeve. She was mortified by his aggressive behavior and glanced at Meryllis apologetically, who just smirked smugly. If Meryllis was intimidated, she did a good job hiding it. In fact, Elide had to admit, Lorcan's behavior was very telling that they were not who they said they were.
"It's really not worth that much effort," Meryllis drawled. Lorcan snorted.
Elide quickly jumped in. "So… your magic, it's not… truth-telling? Or, truth… discerning?" Her brow furrowed as she struggled to think of the proper term.
Meryllis smiled. "No, it's not – although, that's a good guess. If we weren't allies, I might have told you it was." She winked. "The truth-telling… well, I grew up stalking and hunting animals, and when you spend so much time around them, you kinda learn to become one yourself. I'm sure your husband there can tell you the same."
If Lorcan was surprised that she compared him to a wild beast–or that she still referred to him as Elide's husband–he didn't show it. Instead, he approximated a shrug and inclined his head in agreement. Meryllis's smile widened. Her canines were sharp, like a wolf's.
"So, it's not in the nature of animals to lie and that's how I learned. Animals don't lie 'cause they're not smart enough, but humans are. But it's unnatural for us. And most humans act unnatural when they lie." Meryllis's smile widened, and Elide nodded. She supposed that made sense.
"Anyway, my magical power… Well, I should really keep it a secret, but Lorcan's shown me a taste of his magic with that invisible net he made, so I better show you mine so he doesn't murder me in my sleep."
Lorcan merely blinked at her.
Meryllis put her left arm out to the side, palm facing up, and put her other hand on her hip. "It's true, magic still runs in some of our bloodlines up in the North, although there are much fewer of us now than there were before." Elide started to wonder why, but then she noticed a rock behind Meryllis lifting from the ground on its own and moving to hover around waist height.
"I can move objects," she said cheerfully as she zipped the rock into her hand. Her hazel eyes never moved from their faces as she tossed the rock up into the air. And at the highest point of its arc, the jagged rock hung there, suspended. Elide's eyebrow raised as she stared at the rock. "Can't move people, though."
"Impressive. What's the limit?" Lorcan asked, his eyes darting between Meryllis's face and the rock. Elide knew he was assessing how much of a threat she was, especially since she didn't seem to need to see the object to move it.
She raised her eyebrows, both hands on her hips. The rock floated behind her, and then clattered to the ground. "Oh, come on, you're going to make me divulge all my secrets? At least buy me dinner first." She winked at Elide, who swore she had imagined it.
"Tell me enough so that you'll live through this moment," Lorcan said through gritted teeth, gripping the hilt of one of his hunting knives. He hadn't missed the wink.
Meryllis huffed a sigh, but acquiesced. "We don't really get much magic training up north, so most everything I've learned is self-learned, self-taught. From what I know, the limits are physical. The heavier something is, the harder it is to move. If I try to move too much or too quickly, it gives me a massive headache, like a huge pressure in my skull. But I'm pretty strong so usually I don't have much of a problem. I just do enough to cause a distraction and escape." She shrugged and continued, "Like I said before, that's why we won't need a cover story. I'm good at distractions."
"Hmm." Lorcan stared at Meryllis for a moment, his face carefully composed, but then he turned his attention to Elide. "We should get going, Marion." He stalked off towards his horse.
She tried not to wince at the sound of her mother's name coming from his mouth once again.
As Meryllis passed beside her, she muttered in Elide's ear. "Really, he's an awful liar. Tell him he's much more useful if he keeps his mouth shut. Just claim he lost his tongue in the war or something, because he refused to give the enemy the information they wanted." Meryllis widened her eyes at Elide, who couldn't help but bark out a dark laugh.
Lorcan's Fae ears twitched.
They set out again, and Elide noticed Lorcan's posture stiffen as they advanced closer and closer to the forest. A harsh expression seemed permanently etched into his demeanor, and she could tell that every one of his senses was constantly on high alert, to protect them. To protect her.
To stave away the sheer boredom as they galloped across the rolling plains, Elide tried to practice her magic even as they traveled.
On the first night, she had explained to Meryllis that she could manipulate light and that her magical powers hadn't manifested until the ban on magic had been lifted.
"Were your villages affected by the ban?" Elide had asked. Meryllis shook her head.
"No. The King's ban didn't stretch that far. He didn't think that the Northern villages would be a threat. Our numbers aren't large, after all. And we mostly keep to ourselves," Meryllis replied. Elide noticed how her eyes tightened slightly when she mentioned the king.
"Lorcan helped me find my magic… after the ban lifted. I didn't even know…" Elide inhaled through her nose, thinking of all the times she thought she was crazy for having conversations with the Goddess Anneith. "I didn't even know I was magical, didn't know that I had powers."
Lifting her dominant hand in the air, she formed a spark of light to demonstrate. The spark slowly floated upwards and lazily drifted around.
Meryllis's hazel eyes followed it, and she remarked, "It's a good sign that you have light magic. Means you'll be able to keep the darkness at bay."
Elide hoped desperately that what Meryllis said would be true. But she needed to be confident with her magic… She needed to expertly manipulate the beams of light she could create, the spheres of light that tingled at her fingertips, the threads of light she could weave… Elide would not falter. She would not yield.
After all, how difficult could it be to wipe one, single human off the face of the earth? And such a terrible one, at that. Shaking her head in frustration, she returned her attention to her magical energy, ignoring the fears that threatened to overtake her.
Elide tried to mimic the invisible net Lorcan had cast. She nudged her horse forward so that they were riding side by side, and she shouted over the wind, "Show me the net, so I can learn."
Lorcan understood and made the net between them visible; thin strands of dark, mist-like magic were coiled and crisscrossed so that the threads would snag if another being was near or if it caught someone else's magic.
Elide's brow furrowed as she concentrated and spread a net above them. But her magical threads of light were not discrete, not invisible like Lorcan's wispy. The cords of her net were visible strands of light woven together.
Elide frowned at her net as her horse thundered on across the plains. Sweat beaded along her forehead as she concentrated on pulling the strands thinner and thinner, stripping away the cords until the width of the threads was like spidersilk. The threads glinted into the sunlight, but at least the net didn't glow so obviously anymore. She smiled, satisfied. Even Lorcan nodded approvingly, a shadow of a smile on his lips.
The three of them rode on, westward towards the Acanthus River. Like Lorcan had estimated, it took three days to ride across the endless plains of Adarlan and two nights of camping out inconspicuously and eating dried rations, since a fire would draw notice.
Finally, the river was in sight. Finally, Elide could nearly smell and hear the roar of the Acanthus. They were much closer to Morath than when they had emerged from the forest all those weeks ago, since she had traipsed north towards Terrasen for weeks before she ran into Lorcan.
But now, she was here of her own free will. They would find a bridge to cross the river and then the towering oaks would claim them. She felt the magic slumbering deep within her stir, felt the drops of blue blood coursing through her veins…
Elide flexed her fingers and smiled grimly. Once she reached Morath, she would make sure Vernon and his ilk saw nothing but eternal darkness.
- Part 2: END -
#pale skin and onyx eyes#PSAOE#elorcan#elorcan fic#i am elorcan trash#elide x lorcan#elide lochan#lorcan salvaterre#tog#eos#meryllis OC#beryl OC
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Get to Know Me (Tag)
Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag some friends.
Thanks for tagging me, @steve-rogers-best-girl :)
LAST:
1. drink: water
2. phone call: my dad
3. text message: my dad
4. song you listened to: i think Holding On To You by twenty one pilots
5. time you cried: a couple hours ago
HAVE YOU:
6. dated someone twice: lol joke’s on you i haven’t even dated someone once ha. ha. ha. ugh.
7. kissed someone and regretted it: i haven’t ever kissed someone at all lol what are these questions
8. been cheated on: in a competitive game of pokemon maybe but yall i havent dated what is happening
9. lost someone special: i mean i once had a toxic friend and i super duper got rid of her i guess but like thats it
10. been depressed: never been diagnosed but im pretty sure i’ve had depression since around third grade (but that’s a story for another time)
11. gotten drunk and thrown up: ew???? i’ve never even drank alcohol why am i answering these questions ew
LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. white
13. various blues and teals
14. golden yellow
IN THE LAST YEAR, HAVE YOU:
15. made new friends: yep!
16. fallen out of love: platonically with a toxic-as-heck friend yeah
17. laughed until you cried: absolutely!
18. found out someone was talking about you: yep
19. uhh ya skipped 19 so idk what to put here lol
20. found out who your friends are: yeah
21. kissed someone on your facebook list: sErIoUsLy? *face palm*
GENERAL:
22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl? i dont have a facebook
23. do you have any pets? yep, a doggo!
24. do you want to change your name? y e s p l e a s e ! ! ! ! !
25. what did you do for your last birthday? had some of muh frens over
26. what time do you wake up? for school at like 5:30, but over the summer i’ve been waking up around 9ish
27. what were you doing at midnight last night? crying
28. name something you can’t wait for: a month ago i would have said Pokemon Go Fest but nope i got my hopes up for that like usual and of course i cant go uh i cant wait to get a desk finally i dont have a desk *shrug*
29. when was the last time you saw your mom? *shouts down the hall* “hi mom!”
30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life? i’d like a whole new wardrobe that magically made me look thinner and happier all the time and that allowed strangers to see me for me and not me for some slouch who wears sweatpants all the time bc i dont have any other clothes that dont cripple me with dysphoria lmao woot woot
31. what are you listening to right now? primarily Regional at Best by twenty one pilots bc its calming for me
32. have you ever talked to a person named tom? actually??? im not sure...?? i’ve definitely talked to a few thomas-es but none of them go by tom *shrug*
33. something that is getting on your nerves: when my mom says we can’t afford to buy me a desk but then she goes out and buys other decor for the house
34. most visited website: probably youtube, netflix, instagram, and tumblr if you include the use of apps
35. any moles? nope
36. any birthmarks? none of which i’m aware
37. childhood dream: not sure. i always wanted to be a superhero like spider-man and whatnot i guess.
38. hair color? brown
39. hair length? short
40. do you have a crush? do fictional characters count? if so, yes -- peter parker, ben wyatt, and chandler bing
41. what do you like about yourself? i’m nice.
42. any piercings? just the basic earlobe piercings, but i never wear anything in them. i’m surprised theyre still open.
43. blood type? crap i need to ask my mom about this. it’s good to know for safety reasons.
44. any nicknames? anything you know me as on here is technically a nickname because i go by my birthname everywhere else... sooo, yeah. chandler is a nickname. i also get addressed as ‘???’ and as ‘Q,’ which is just short for “question marks” bc idk what my name should be but yep i go by chandler for now i guess *shrug*
45. relationship status: jealous
46. zodiac: aries
47. pronouns: they/them are preferable but i never correct people if they use anything else bc i’m just so accustomed to my own confusion
48. favorite tv show: agh i guess Parks and Rec is my number-one, but i also love Friends, The Good Place, Agents of SHIELD, Daredevil, and Legion (which cRaP i need to finish watching)
49. uh yeah i think you skipped this one too
50. righty or lefty? righty
51. any surgeries? nope
52. ever dye your hair? I WISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
53. favorite sport? to play? basketball. to watch? football. although if my family was more into hockey i bet i’d love that.
54. hgfdskgfskjfhskjf you skipped this one too
55. dream vacation? honestly, i don’t care where we go as long as it’s somewhere out of the country and i get to travel with my friends in an evan edinger sorta way, you know?
56. favorite pair of sneakers? i mean?? i only have the one... it’s a nike hyperdunk i think? like, an older one? idk theyre comfy
57. eating: nothing right now...
58. drinking: i mean i have water next to me so like i guess water is my answer
59. about to: hurry the heck up and finish answering these questions lmao
60. you skipped it
61. ........
62. want: to travel and to be happy
63. ever going to get married? if i do, it won’t be a huge ceremony. it won’t be religious. and it will have to be to somebody very, very special to me.
64. career: i’m a student right now
65. hugs or kisses? if i have to choose, hugs, but please don’t hug me without asking and dont be offended if i say no. i’m really uncomfortable about physical contact.
66. lips or eyes? eyes 1000000%
67. tall or short? i’m short.
68. older or younger? what’s this question...? im confused and don’t know how to answer it tbh
69. there’s no question here
70. nice arms or nice stomach? me? neither lol im Ugly
71. sensitive or loud? if you’re close with me, you’re the lucky people who know i’m both
72. hook up or relationship? EW DEFINITELY RELATIONSHIP IM SO ASEXUAL
73. troublemaker or hesitant? this makes it sound like it’s bad to not be a troublemaker. i’m not a troublemaker but its not because im hesitant. it’s because im a good person. and i dont mean to imply that troublemakers arent good people, but im not either of those things...???
HAVE YOU EVER:
74. kissed a stranger? i h a v e n e v e r k i s s e d a n y o n e .
75. drank hard liquor? i a m u n d e r a g e .
76. lost glasses or contact lenses? no, but i’ve broken my glasses before
77. turned someone down? unless you include that time that i was asked out as a dare, no.
78. had sex on the first date? i h a v e n e v e r b e e n o n a d a t e a n d i a m a s e x u a l .
79. broken someone’s heart? not that i’m aware of
80. had your heart broken? yeah, by that Toxic Person who i mention all the time. it wasnt a romantic thing but i hate that person with a burning passion i cannot even bEGIN to tell you
81. been arrested? no definitely not
82. cried when someone died? in real life? . . . no. no one close to me has died. but i have cried at fictional deaths
83. fallen for a friend? kind of but not really idk its complicated and not worth it
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
84. yourself? on good days
85. miracles? not unless by “mircales” you mean “coincidences”
86. love at first sight? not for myself, but maybe for someone who is more into looks. and i dont mean that negatively but like thats just not really my kinds thing necessarily.
87. santa claus? well considering i was raised jewish but am currently atheist imma have to say no
88. kissing on the first date? i’ve never been able to experience what kissing or dating is like but if it feels right for someone then i have nothing against it
OTHER:
90. current best friend names: katie, claire, lizzie (i tag posts with their names when stuff reminds me of them hehe)
91. eye color? brown
92. favorite movie? i loved that new Spider-Man: Homecoming film, but Guardians of the Galaxy has always been one of my go-to movies, so probably GOTG
i tag anyone who wants to do this bc frankly im lazy and dont feel like tagging anyone heh lol
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30 Questions Tag 😅
i gots tagged by @mr-fujita <3 tagging @anreg, @mysteriouslysaltytragedy, @animaniacal, @snufflesblacks, @haganehimura, @thebeshimifangirl and anyone else who would like to :3
1- How tall are you?
A: 5′10/182~ish cm
2- What color and style is your hair?
A: brown and LONG LONG LONG, i’m letting it grow to my frickin feet yall idgaf lol (this is moi btw)
3- What color are your eyes?
A: green
4- Do you wear glasses?
A: ya im blind af lol but i look bad in them so i walk around not seeing anything in public. #vain
5- Do you wear braces?
A: nope
6- What is your clothing style?
A: mostly i wear geek shirts and jeans lol but i do have some nicer things
7- Any freckles/mole/beauty marks?
A: i guess
8- Where were you born?
A: us
9- Where do you live?
A: us
10- Do you have any siblings?
A: ya
11- Do you go to school?
A: currently no
12- What kind of student are you?
A: the kind that will master material that’s relevant but won’t do things that waste time. (i skipped a final project once because it was bullshit and ended up with a high b in the class. good tradeoff tbh)
13- What are your favourite TV shows?
A: st//ar tr//ek and r//k
14- Favorite pass time?
A: this blue hell website lol
15- What is your dream job?
A: i just wanna write tbh
16- Opinion on marriage?
A: up to the individual, and not as necessary as society deems it. aka do whatever tf makes u happy
17- Would you want to have kids one day?
A: no. NEVER. NEVER. i am extremely anti-procreation. i don’t want kids. i don’t like them. however, i respect others’ choices to have them. i just wish they would respect mine to not. the reason why i feel so strongly about this topic is because i’ve been asked too many times when i’m having them, why i’m not, and then had to sit through being shamed for living my life. not cool, my guys.
18- Girly girl or Tomboy?
A: both. i love all women!!!!
19- Do you like shopping?
A: no. i hate it tbh lol
20- What countries have you visited?
A: i traveled back and forth to japan a lot and then lived there. i also visited canada (loved it)
21- What is the scariest dream you ever had?
A: getting stuck with a baby
22- Do you have enemies?
A: idk, idc
23- Do you have a significant other?
A: yea
24- If not do you want one?
A:
25- Are you open about your feelings?
A: i’m empathetic so if i get the feeling someone wants to hear what i really have to say, i’ll say it. if not, i’ll keep my opinions to myself.
26- What’s your family like?
A: let’s not do this
27- Would you date someone your parents didn’t approve of?
A: absolutely and i have. and life was hard but oh well.
28- Favourite colour?
A: green
29- Any pet peeves?
A: let’s not do this either lol
30- Do you believe in astrology?
A: no
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Days is my favorite Kingdom Hearts game but I haven’t played it in a while and I don’t think I ever watched the movie version all the way through! So I watched it and liveblogged it.
I basically have the Saix’s monologue in the beginning memorized
Axel has said “got it memorized” at least 6 times within the first 10 minutes of this movie
Hayner, Pence and Olette run past these literal cult members without even looking
7! 7 times Axel please!!
Quinton Flynn’s delivery seems pretty weird and flat now, which is weird cause I know he can do really well. maybe it was intentional, cause Axel hasn’t started developing a heart yet?
I forgot that my pronunciation of Xion is technically wrong
Footsteps in The Castle That Never Was sound so strange. like they’re walking on metal suction cups.
Axel: Wait did you want me dead? Saix: ... *walks away*
Ah yes Xion’s creepy hood thing that I thought was a glitch until later in the game
What was Organization XIII doing in the 10 years before a Keyblade weilder was available to them?? I’m sure they had plenty of scheming and experiments and mischief but 10 years worth?
THEY LEFT OUT THE BEST PART
THEY DIDNT ANIMATE IT
“ROXAS THAT’S A STICK” I NEEDED IT
“As long as we keep each other in our thoughts, we’ll never be apart!” yall forget each other
8 times
Axel is so bitter about/to Saix oh my god tone down your salt man
The Chamber of Repose and the Chamber of Waking. I don’t remember which is which but one houses Aqua’s armor and the other is Ven’s body, right? So one’s in TCTNW and the other is in Castle Oblivion.
It just clarified, Chamber of Waking is Ven, and in Oblivion
Can Saix and Axel’s objectives really be a secret from Xemnas? Saix is norted after all, and even though he has most of a free will at the moment, he’s still possessed.
IT STARTED PLAYING THE OLYMPIUS COLISEUM MUSIC AND I HAD BAD FLASHBACKS
“[the memories of my past] have never done me any good” because they instilled loyalty to a norted jerk?
“i can deal with 7 days maybe” well just break my heart roxas why dontcha
Axel spends his rare days off sleeping #relatable
9 times
“try not to bungle everything-” WHAT KIND OF WORD IS BUNGLE
ARE YOU GONNA ASK THEM NOT TO RUSTLE ANYONE’S JIMMIES TOO AXEL?
“you’ve changed” i can vividly remember Axel saying “i’m not the one who changed, you did” in response to that, but its not in the movie. maybe it was actually a journal entry?
“why are you dressed like one of us?” Xion, honey, your uniform is the most well known form of protection against dark corruption of the heart
Of course Organization XIII has no way of knowing that, bc they were deliberately lied to
This is the scene that made me hate Riku. Watching it again after i’ve fallen in love with him is quite the trip
“You’re the real sham!” “Fair enough” Riku bby no your self-hatred is showing
*Xion screams* BBY NO
“’Special?’ Isn’t that another way of saying I’m a mistake?” XION BBY NO but also #same
“According to Axel, girls are complicated and there are buttons to avoid pressing” ah yes, i forgot this part. don’t worry Roxas, she’s just upset because she’s a girl and girls are weird, she’s not having an existential crisis or anything!
“Roxas ate alone after missions.” where’s Axel though??
the love conversation may have been a great thing to animate but that’s fine square, just tell us about it
And so Axel’s lies begin. He was just trying to give Roxas hope, I can’t wait to remember how this all got twisted and horrible.
Did we fight the Zipslasher in this time skip? I think we did. I hated the Zipslasher gdi
Axel bridal carrying Xion is what got me started shipping AkuXi. Don’t ship it anymore though, really. Maybe in AUs when they’re closer to the same age
Saix: “Did it break again?” Me: XION’S NOT AN IT
Roxas: “Xion’s not an it!” oh yeah thanks Rox
“does the past mean nothing to you” Saix you’re the one being an ass
10 times
omg please tell me he does it 13 or 14 times
Almost all the books in the Organization library look the same; plain white binding. y’know, cause aesthetic.
Flying in Neverland would have been a nice animation too but whatever
This is why you dont hang out in high places kids!
the scene with Axel and Xion in Castle Oblivion is one of my favorites
Story time: Axel’s explanation of the sunset helped me pass an earth science quiz, cause i was out sick when we learned about light but i was playing days while in bed
THE MINDSCREW DREAM
i still have no idea what it means!! or even who was having it!
Neither Xion nor Roxas knew Zexion that well, and that seemed like Riku’s memories, not Sora’s! so WHY
aw i was too angry as a child to realize that Riku was looking for a way to save them
what has Saix done that make you think he has any mercy Roxas
Xion, Axel probably wasn’t gonna fight you if you hadnt attacked him, the first chakram was a warning not to stab Roxas
“i’ll bring her somewhere safe” thats all you had to say Axel
So Xemnas did call him Sora. Way back when I thought he may have said Ventus.
now you screwed up Axel
DiZ is the worst
"i know you’re not just a puppet.” ;~;
11 times
“I saw a boy today who looked just like Roxas” i thought she meant Sora but Xigbar was spying so was it Ven? I mean it should be Sora but....
Also, Xigbar spying!
“nor become the person we see” not everyone sees Xion as anything though, not even at this point. What do you see, Xemnas?
just kidding i’m pretty sure its Ven
why wouldnt you want two Sora capable people?
like tbh if you spent your time balancing Xion and Roxas’s powers instead of pitting them against each other they would have both stayed in the Organization at least a little while longer
the older i get the more i relate to Xion, bc i too am afraid that i will wreck everything
“do you hate me for taking your friend away from you?” “nah. i guess i’m just sad.” ;~;
now i see why people ship RikuXi
i can dig it now that i love them both, still a little weird to me though, i gotta warm up to it
Riku is projecting, i never realized
“you have to do what’s best for everybody” cause so does he, even at the expense of his own life
and he doesn’t want to have to tell Xion that, but he does, and maybe he can do it to someday
that illusion would have been a nice thing to animate, especially since i forgot it happened holy crap
leave it to Axel to do his best to save the day
Give me Lea sadly turning in the WINNER stick in KH3
or even better, give me Lea cheerfully turning in the WINNER stick with Roxas, Xion and Isa at the end of KH3
Xion said it this time but i’m gonna count it, 12
im super mad about the fixation on memories making everything okay in the end because EVERYONE FORGETS AND I HURT
I KNOW ITS ON PURPOSE BUT PLEASE
what is Diz’s purpose, just to order these kids around? he’s a huge jerk, why do you listen to him
he’s telling you to murder people
i mean they need to die i guess but wouldn’t both of you feel better if you came to that conclusion yourselves instead of this asshole telling you you gotta
though they are both kids and i guess there’s a comfort in an adult getting a final say
still DiZ is bad news and i don’t like him mistreating all the young’ins
Axel’s dancing between the truth, trying to be gentle and trying not to care too much resulted in literally the worst explanation ever no wonder Roxas got pissed
Why was Riku just chilling outside Beast’s Castle and how did Xion end up in just the right place to portal in front of him
i don’t REMEMBER XALDIN’S VOICE BEING THAT ODD
also #rude Xemnas, Xion is a she!
good to know most of the Organization thought of her has a person though. or a Nobody at least. an equal.
Were there more than 2 Replicas? oooooh that could be a good plot twist
Xemnas was insistent on calling her an “it” but uses “she” again when giving Axel the task of getting her back, a dialogue inconsistency or a deliberate manipulation?
There’s an implication that Demyx and Xion talked a lot thats adorable
At least now we know why they were insistent on having 13 people even before they had 13 Nobodies
Axel walks away from conversations almost as much as Vax’ildan
Roxas: “Could it be that you knew for a long time, and never told me anything?” Axel: I walk away
I still don’t get why Riku transforms without the blindfold, and how “his eyes couldn’t lie” is a valid explanation
Riku was projecting, he thinks he has to die
13 maybe? Roxas said it, but also accusing Axel of not memorizing it
Axel told Xion the truth and she left. Axel kept the truth from Roxas and he left.
That sucks.
~cause i’m leaaaaaavin, never to come back again~
“you’re Kairi as Sora remembers her” come on you can’t tell her she became her own person before she dies?
Namine is being kind in general though
I ship it
“i know. i’m ready” ;~;
they’re solving the problem themselves and DiZ walks in pissed that they’re doing what he asked. Almost like a real parent!
MY FAV SCENE IN THE WHOLE GAME
THE VOICE ACTING
THE BODY LANGUAGE
YOU CAN HEAR MY HEART BEING RIPPED OUT
you can also almost hear Axel’s abandonment issues developing even further!
this day is just titled “Tears”. Accurate
I just realized Xion was trying to get Axel to kill her first
but he couldn’t do it
she got Roxas to do it instead
Memories of Xion going static and fading are the WORST
Roxas did break Riku’s arm or something
yes hello i look eerily like your boss now
I wonder if Axel/Lea ever looks back on his conversations with Roxas and notices a hole. An awkward silence where he and Roxas are just listening to nothing. Laughter after a beat of quiet. Looking at something that isn’t there.
literally why is everyone just okay with DiZ he’s a total jerk
in II DiZ acts like he figures out that Ansem is actually Riku. Here he doesn’t question that Riku is 2 heads taller and his voice is 2 octaves deeper.
The rooms in KH are so nice
Well there it is. the end.
WAIT
“Got it memorized” and close variations were said a total of 13 times in this movie
11 by Axel, once by Xion, and once by Roxas, as a denial.
I’m so mad
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The Little Fox Spirit
AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19974817
When Meng Yao's mother gets injured, Meng Yao goes in search for a mythical creature who would help
Once upon a time, there lived a little fox spirit1 named Meng Yao. Meng Yao lived with his mother, a fox demon2, Meng Shi, on a mountain with many fellow fox demons. From a young age, Meng Yao would hear his mother tell him stories about the human world below the mountains, and about his father, a chivalrous and handsome human. Meng Yao never got tired of these stories, eager to grow up into a fox demon so that he too could transform into a human and explore the human world. Meng Yao also often wondered about his father, wondering when he could see this man that has his mother so mesmerised. Sometimes, Meng Yao would also wonder why his father is not around, but he never dared ask his mother, for fear of erasing the smile on her face. Because when the other fox demons mock Meng Shi for her fixation with his father, Meng Yao sees the hurt on her face.
“The only way to gain a human’s heart is to eat it,” The other fox demons said. “There is no such thing as love for a fox demon.”
One day, Meng Shi decides to go down the mountain in search of her love. All these years, she had never searched for the man because of Meng Yao. As Meng Yao is still a little fox spirit who had the form of a fox, Meng Shi could not bring Meng Yao up in the human world. And so, instead, Meng Shi had a promise with her love to meet once a year in the inn where they met. But the man never appeared again. Meng Shi insisted that there must have been something that prevented him from fulfilling their promise. That day, a fox demon had suggested that she looked for the man.
“Maybe,” The fox demon said, “He got injured ad could not move.”
Suddenly thinking that her love may be in trouble, Meng Shi decided to look for him. Meng Yao wanted to follow, but he could not camouflage himself in the human world, having no choice but to stay in the mountains. Instead, a few of the other fox demons who loved to gossip and mock Meng Shi followed along.
Meng Yao never regretted anything as much as not stopping his mother that day. In turned out that the man was already long married to the daughter of a high-ranking official. In order to “prove” that he did not cheat on his wife years back, the man had beaten Meng Shi when she had found their home and asked him why he had forsaken her. As if beating her was not enough, the man feared that she would return again to cause trouble. And so, he bought assassins to kill her. As a fox demon, it is not so easy to kill Meng Shi. But nonetheless, Meng Shi became heavily injured.
Meng Shi was dying, and Meng Yao felt his world fall apart.
To save his mother, Meng Yao set foot out of the mountain he called home in search for help.
The first person Meng Yao searches for is whom he considers to be one of the most powerful creatures because he is the most feared.
“Hello, the great qiongqi3. My mother is gravely injured. I ask for your greatness to help save my mother.” Meng Yao pleads, bowing deeply to the beast before him.
The beast laughs and the ground shakes, “What a fool! I am a fiend! A monster! I kill and destroy, hurt and harm. I commit evil, not help people! What an idiot! No wonder you fox spirits are such lowly creatures.”
Ashamed, Meng Yao leaves. He had indeed been foolish. He had only looked at their ability, but not at their willingness. But Meng Yao isn’t sure who would help, because all the “good” creatures saw fox demons as evil, and were more likely to kill than help.
However, there was not enough time for Meng Yao to slowly contemplate who would help. Suddenly, a thought comes to his mind. Searching in the sky is faster than searching on the ground, especially since he will have a wider view of his options. And so, Meng Yao travels up to the skies.
There, he first meets the heavenly dog4. “The great heavenly dog! Can you help me?”
The heavenly dog huffs. “A dirty lowly creature like you dares ask a heavenly creature like me? Be grateful that I do not break your legs for contaminating my place!”
Next, Meng Yao finds the vermillion bird5. Learning that he should probably first give a good impression before asking for help, Meng Yao praises, “What beautiful plumage you have!”
Ego stroked, the vermillion bird smirks, showing off his multi-coloured plumage happily. “You have pleased me. I shall grant you a wish.”
Hope sparking in his heart, Meng Yao pleads for the vermillion bird to save his mother. But before he could complete his sentence, the vermillion bird gets distracted, flying off to save a lamb from a lion. Seeing the vermillion bird flashing his plumage around the lamb, Meng Yao knows that he has been forgotten, the fox spirit going off to search for someone else to help. At least, Meng Yao thinks, he now knows how to best ask for help.
But somehow, the love goddess seemed to be against him, as he is once again hindered by the other creatures mating or attempting to mate. Because when he reaches the moon, he walks into the “daily activities” of the jade rabbit6 and his mate. Understanding that he is not welcomed here, Meng Yao leaves, thinking that maybe it is mating season in the skies. No wonder the single heavenly dog was so moody.
Back onto the ground, Meng Yao meets the xiezhi7. After praising him for his chivalry, Meng Yao tells him about his mother.
“Where is she?” The xiezhi asks, making a movement for Meng Yao to lead the way.
Joy filling his heart, Meng Yao beams happily. As if he could not believe his success, Meng Yao asks, “Can you save her?”
But contrary to Meng Yao’s beliefs, the xiezhi huffs angrily. “Of course not! Your mother seduced and harassed a married man! But what can one expect from a fox demon? As a creature of justice, it is my duty to devour all who are wicked!”
“My mother is not wicked!” Meng Yao protests but to no avail. The xiezhi is a mythical beast that can distinguish good and evil, so whatever he says is futile. Shooting through the forest, Meng Yao shakes the xiezhi off. He could not allow him to go near his mother.
Disheartened, Meng Yao comes to a lake and stares at his own reflection. For a moment, Meng Yao hates that he is a fox spirit. He hates that his mother is a fox demon. They did not choose to be born as such creatures but were forced by fate and circumstance. Although his father had been unfaithful and cheated on his wife, the fault fell on his mother instead, just because she is a fox demon. No matter what they do, they are always in the wrong just because of what they are.
“What’s wrong?” A voice comes from behind Meng Yao, clear and beautiful like chimes in the wind. Meng Yao whips around and sees the most spectacular creature he had ever seen.
Meng Yao recognises the creature as a qilin8, a benevolent and powerful creature. Meng Yao has heard stories about the kindness of the qilin, never hurting or harming any living creature. Deciding to take one last gamble, Meng Yao asks for help once more.
“Of course I will help,” The qilin says but Meng Yao does not know if he could trust him. Seeing Meng Yao’s fear, the qilin breaks off his horn and presents it to Meng Yao. “I’m sure you’ve heard that a qilin’s horn is magical. With this, you can cure your mother.”
Surprised with the qilin’s kindness, tears fill Meng Yao’s eyes. “How can I ever repay you?”
The qilin smiles kindly. “I did not help you expecting anything in return.”
“But… Your horn is too precious for me to just accept it! We don’t even know each other!”
“My name is Lan Huan,” The qilin says.
“I’m Meng Yao,” Meng Yao responds on reflex.
“There. We know each other know. We’re friends now, so it is alright to accept a little gift. Right, A-Yao?”
Meng Yao feels his heart skip a beat and his cheeks flush red. “Y…Yes…”
“And since we’re friends, all you have to do to return the favour is to come visit me often. Right?”
“Y…Yes…”
With the qilin’s horn, Meng Yao manages to save his mother. And what resulted from this was a happy ever after for the divine qilin Lan Huan and the “lowly” fox spirit Meng Yao.
The End.
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Fox spirit (狐狸精): a mythical fox that has awareness and gains magical energy from the world. Legends say that they can turn into humans when they are 50 y/o.
Fox demon (狐妖): same as fox spirit but I kind of differentiate them in the sense that the fox demons also suck yang energy from man (vs fox spirits that only suck natural energy from the world)
Qiongqi (穷奇): one of the four fiends that starts war and does bad things
Heavenly dog (天狗): a dog in the sky that causes the eclipse by eating the sun/moon
Vermillion bird (朱雀): Looks like a red peacock honestly… so yall know who’s this supposed to be
Jade rabbit (玉兔): aka the rabbit that lives on the moon
Xiezhi (獬豸): mythical creature of justice that can magically differentiate good vs evil and will eat bad people.
Qilin (麒麟): Aka kirin or Chinese unicorn. Divine, benevolent, looks like a dragon-deer hybrid.
Reference: https://immortalmountain.wordpress.com/glossary/chinese-bestiary/
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January 10, 2019 12:13 pm
it’s a week after i planned on writing an update, but it’s a thursday so i’m technically on time. I worked tuesday, as i said, and on wednesday rose came over. we first went to the mall so i could show her how decrepit it was, and got auntie anne’s there. I like the mini pretzel dogs, but hate the hot dogs inside them; i just like how the pretzels are rolled up to look like croissants and how the hot dogs imbue the bread with that umami flavor. Then we went back to my place and watched train to busan (the main character was the same guy from coffee prince!), and then went to baanchan for dinner. I remember that she borrowed a shirt and got a stain on it and took it home and said shed wash it but i can’t remember which one. thursday and friday i just kinda lazed around, relaxed for a few days before the semester started. i signed up for postmates, and just today i got an email saying the prepaid card was sent to my address so i’ll activate it when i get home. the weekend was work, as always.
i would like to thank every god for allowing me to live so close to campus, because if i had to wake up any earlier for my 7:30 am calc class i would die. On the first day I woke up at 6, but tbh the earlier i have to wake up, the longer i have to take to get ready so I was kinda rushing and ended up forgetting my wallet. I didn’t want to give up my parking space to go back to get it, so I took the on campus shuttle back to my apartment to pick it up, since i needed my id to get my textbooks. got my textbooks (with no line whatsoever!), went to my evening classes, then went home. oh, and apparently i’m so bad at math. i saw my schedule’s weekly chart and said “oh nice, i have a 4 hour gap in the middle of the day for studying or getting lunch” but apparently it’s a 7 hour gap, from 8 am to 3 pm. coolio.
my calc professor was a bit timid, and has a slight accent. the first day i made the mistake of sitting in the back like last year, and could not focus on a word he said. psychology was chill, we just covered the syllabus. apparently, the psychology department (not my professor) mandates that all intro psych classes’ grades are 10% participating in psychology studies, bc otherwise nobody would volunteer to help them. i hate being forced to do anything, so of course I’m gonna lie and fuck with their studies. asl was my fav class, it’s at 6:30 when campus is empty. we just learned the alphabet (and by that i mean she ran through it once and then we had to go to the front of the class and introduce ourselves). the whole class is immersive, meaning that even on the FIRST day of class we weren’t allowed to speak. as if i understood a single thing she said. there’s a cute girl in that class, we didnt speak to each other (obvs) but when i got stuck while introducing myself, she helped me out since she was in the front row. can i just say i’m PISSED that it seemed like everyone was fluent in asl while i barely knew the alphabet. yall this is an introductory class.
tuesday was a disaster. i woke up at 6 again, but was so beat from the day before that I decided to skip calc, on the grounds that it was all just review and the first unit was my best anyways. i forgot to set a follow up alarm, though, so i woke up naturally at 8:55. and then looked at my class schedule. and saw that my next class was at 9. luckily since i live by campus i was only 6 minutes late, but i forgot literally everything (didn’t bring my phone or my backpack) except for my wallet. I didn’t even have time to shower, or brush my teeth, or comb my hair. immediately after i was done with that class i went home and did all of those. I also went to the pet store to get a new filter for my fish, since my last one broke (after 2 years of having it, which i think is a good lifespan). I installed that, knit more of my gloves, then went back on campus for programming at 6. The professor didn’t even cover the syllabus, he just jumped straight into the lecture. one kid asked about the structure of the class, and at that point he gave a quick summary. it was clear we were all expecting him to start the lecture with the syllabus. i’m so annoyed that last semester i deleted codeblocks, the program used in the course, because i thought i was done with it, and now i have to reinstall it. tuesday evening i watched hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy, which i watched when i was like, 7, but forgot most of.
wednesday, i woke up at 5:30, so that i would have more time to get ready. I sat in the front of calc, and took really great notes. we finally started getting into psychology, all about behavior and stuff. I did one of their stupid studies before class, it was this survey about “human social perception” but honestly it was asking about how lonely i am. and when you have to actually sit there and quantify how many friends you have, and how often you see them, it really puts it into perspective. kinda felt called out.
ya know how every semester, i creep on webcourses’ list of students in my class? well the cute girl in asl is named “anna” (as per how she introduced herself, it was the only name i could catch), and there’s only one anna in the class, and she has a crazy last name so it was p easy to find her on ig and twitter. i was scrolling down her twitter when i accidentally liked one of her tweets. i quickly unliked it, and i didn’t think she would have gotten the notification bc it was a retweet anyways, but shortly after that she followed me. and then i remembered that my most recent tweet was “so uhh whos gonna tell the cute girl in my asl class that i want to go out with her bc it sure as hell ain’t gonna be me” (cue my death). i deleted it and hoped she didn’t see it, but honestly if she followed me she prob saw it. i hoped that maybe bc i don’t have my real name listed on twitter that she wouldn’t know it was me, but in class i introduced myself as “jay” bc i forgot the symbol for s. pls kill me. and this all happened like 10 minutes before class started. I sat in the back, though, so we weren’t near each other. but at the end of the class we did an activity where we got a card with a word, and we had to find the person with the same card by signing it. we did like 4 rounds, and i was hoping we wouldn’t be together, but in the last round we were. we didn’t talk tho, and as soon as it was over i was gone.
despite my period being nowhere near, i had a huge depressive episode last night. like, by her ig and twitter, she’s a Distinguished Gay in which she did a high school summer program with Stanford where she did heart surgery on a porcupine, and was an award winning thespian, and has tons of friends and a supportive family, where i’m the complete opposite: no friends, failed 3 classes, family hates me, chose a low paying career, needs alcohol to cope with life. This is one case where opposites don’t attract: she’s not gonna want to be with someone whose life is a complete mess. And then i just got to thinking about how rose tells me that mom lowkey thinks I’m a complete dissapointment for being gay and she only puts up with me bc it’s the muslim thing to do, and how the only way i can make her happy is me being single my whole life so she wouldn’t have to know. how i can never have love. and then rose texted asking for an update and i just kinda lashed out at her. why does she feel the need to tell me about mom talking shit? why would i want to hear that? yea i get the whole “don’t let others talk shit behind my back” idea but sometimes ignorance is bliss. i just don’t want to feel like a pile of shit for once in a while. and of course I’m still so resentful about the way that mom and dad treat rose like a damn golden child while i’ve never gotten 1/10 of the support she has.
This morning i went to calc, then comp, didn’t really pay attention in either. while in comp, heather texted me and was like “we should meet up soon.” rose also texted me; last week we were planning to meet up today but it was kinda dicey since we had that issue last night. and anyways at 11 she said “i got a job interview with izziban at 4, should i go” and i was just like “yea sure” bc i really don’t give a fuck. she always puts everything before me so why bother. then she got all like “if something’s wrong you need to tell me i can’t help if i don’t know what’s wrong” like, how about you read what i sent you last night, that details EVERYTHING that’s wrong. she later said she was gonna skip the interview bc she already has a job and she’s gonna do uber eats, and that she was just gonna have lunch with mom (since mom loves her enough to cook for her) and then head out my way. heather responded that we should meet at 1 today, so i told rose. rose said “should i wait for yall to finish and then come by?” but i havent responded bc i don’t want to see her (ever again).
I soft blocked anna on twitter bc i didn’t want her to see me talking about how i wanted to kill myself on main lmao. anyways i’m gonna go get a smoothie.
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Feb 2021 Wins
1 - osce study with clara almira, tryout 9 fkui, tryout review with clar, study sesh with clara that finished at about 10 pm. watched some youtube vids together til 11:15 pm. no longer sleepy, so i made my cv and finished it at about 3 in the morning lmao, bcs i saw this interning opportunity and i was like “damn i should make my cv”
2 - woke up at 7 am, didnt shower lmao, off to kiara for vaccination. Waited for a bit and i finally got it. ate mamdaging pesto rice with beef at kamkan w/ ren ness ara akisyah. talked at studied osce a bit. waited for mom to pick me up. until when do i need someone else to pick me up. i feel helpless and i hate that i cant just ride my motorbike because its too tiring. went back and dad got mad at me bcs i didnt greet him when leaving and entering the house. I truly didnt see him when i entered even though i heard sumn lmao. He said sumn along the lines of "you can always leave if u dont like me" (which is lowkey appealing). I cried bcs i felt sad and annoyed with our terrible emotional parent-daughter relationship. Hold the tears for a bit to study with clara. Darkened the room and slept still in my going-out clothes. I did not shower today lmao,,,,
3 - woke up at 10 am. Tryout and review w clara. Psych coaching. Psych practice with irun. Called lau and dajen bcs hes leving to medan. Randomly checked my email and my intern submission, which i emailed yesterday, that turns out the doctor replied at 8pm yesterday asking for interview today 11 am. And i saw it @ 6 pm. Aka super late. The stupidest thing ive ever done in FKUI. No cap. :( i panicked and it gave me a reason to talk with dad (asking how to reply) so i guess its a form of effort to banish the awkwardness between us. Studied w clara. I hope the doctor can forgive me. Its one loose end after the other lately.
4 - went to starbucks with atikah. got treated matcha latte yayy. cicil osce. called clara to learn imunisasi. went to kaleyo w atikah clara, ate bebek muda cabe ijo yumm. talked abt a lot of things in a span of 1-2 hours. we’re all pragmatist lmaoo.
5 - osce briefing, DV osce practice w irun, watched run bts again lmaoo since knowing my osce schedule is thursday. read buku osce biru.
6 - slept and lazed around til 1 pm. went to flavola since the construction was so noisy. osce simulation with UKMPPD Wibu. turns out flavola’s siomay is very fulfilling.
7 - todays construction noise escape is jco. Bought jcool double with almonds and chocolate crunchy. A bit of psych practice w aisyah. After maghrib practiced neuro w irun
8 - had no mood to study in the morning. Went to flavola, kopsusss coklat as usual. Reviewed osce materials (theres some tea about what might come out). Reviewed again at home (even tho i procrastinated from 6-9pm). Asked my bro for some ovo bcs i bought a mini keyboard in tokped lmaoooooo so random
9 - went to merra (ara and nessa’s place) but mom drove dad to the airport first. stome osce study, group consolidation for osce, tried mad bagel (the garlic cream cheese and tuna salad). the bagel was quite dense and fulfilling. the garlic cream cheese is quite heavy. arrived at home by 9 pm, went straight to sleep
10 - omg dr eva contacted me again :”) and i got the chance to be ecmocard research assistant. osce study. line call with ara. matcha latte. studied in juan’s room bcs it was so noisy. the keyboard i ordered arrived lolll cant wait to try. i dont know if its the anxiety or fear but i cant sleep and forced myself to sleep 11pm-ish
11 - osce. Went early to learn sumn more w ara tri. Osce (i forgot opv for the 5 mo old baby in peds station 😭 there was dr yogi omg) prayed zuhur and ashar in merra while waiting for pick up (i rly wish i could just bring my own vehicle but motorbike is rly tiring). Finally tried the mini keyboard, with earphones on. Practiced the song aku bukan untukmu by rossa lmao bu sihar taught us that in 33. I felt rly excited and not sleepy afterwards (that "normal" feeling with nothing looming). Its been a while since i tried something new, voluntarily. I guess its kind of what i felt when i tried the korean duolingo. That lasted for a couple months. Lets see how this keyboard thingy goes
12 - finally finished reviewing to oneshot (took ages lmao). Lazed around
13 - inten ukmppd w ness ren ara @ merraaa always. Went through 5 pdfs. Tried fastfit chicken burger and sweet potato fries. Quite fulfilling. Went back home and straight to bed (didnt eat anymore)
14 - started my day late as usual on weekdays lmaoo. flavola kopsus coklat as usual at my usual seat facing the window. did padi final tryout, score: 69. booty call with fianti, did mindset tryout, got 76,5.
15 - lazed tilll i start my day as usual @ 11-ish. Reviewed to padi final answers. Wow it sure took some damn time. My attention span is rly horrible when im alone in my room
16 - second dose of vaccine today. the rain was POURING. mom and emir waited in mcd. read half of aipki citation.
17 - finished aipki citation, read CBT 2020 batch I and 2019 batch III questions. read a fantastic slow burn dramione fic. reviewed the last to solid.
18 - accompanied clara for swab antigen near airport train station (we came with motorbike since clara’s car was used). got called over by the police bcs we were in the car-only road lmaooo. went over optima tryout 2021.
19 - cicil ukmppd at flavola with the usual menu, read some more afterwards
20 - ended up going to tamel bcs the flood in tb simatupang toll. Stayed w nessa and henny. Ate garlic carbonara spaghetti by bittersweet najla. Quite good for the price. Went over mediko questions with nessa and first session citation. Atikah sent some krispy kreme donuts 🥺🥺
21 - woke up at 4 bcs henny and nessa already did. Ate cold kanayam for bfast. Did ukmppd. I flagged quite a lot of questions huaa. I hope i can pass, aamiin. Went to tamel to get stuff (nebeng oca uye), climbed jembor to get to akis et al. Went to aeon (super crowded tffff), followed by ikea (parked at decathlon). Ate at both places (shared portion w kris lmaoo we get full quick). Aeon sushi and ikea meatball. So fulll. Went out of ikea to be briefed by dr Debby (ecmocard) and put my stuff to mom's car. Went in ikea again. And finally we went back. such a good sleep yall
22 - relaxed and i mean RELAXXXED. woke up and slept again. showered to prepare to go to harkit for intern briefing. i was late (thanks daan mogot road) and had to grabbike from untar. put on some sheet mask (natrep rose) bcs im realizing i need to fix my face and look decent for this new environment lmaoo.
23 - left home at 7 am, went through highway (i aint repeating daan mogot tragedy again). walked a bit backwards bcs the hightway exit was infront of dharmais. super slow progress on entering medical datas. took half a day to get one. and another half for the other. ate marugame udon, somay, chicken katsu and otak otak. we finished after maghrib and im writing this while waiting for mom
24 - tried salted egg dori rice from salt inc. its quite salty and eneg inducing (a bit more than eatlah), but for the price (19k after cashback) i wont complain. Went back home before maghrib but there was still some medical record stuff i did in my room.
25 - magang as usual. Tried chicken egg salad from salad hut. Bought ice french hazelnut coffee from lawson coz i just cant take it anymore (the slump and sleepyness). I feel like the moment that sugary beverage enters my system i rise like a freshly watered plant. First meeting with dr eva and the others
26 - felt so tired even in the morning. Its 9 am and im already ordering janjiw coffee (with hazelnut and milo, quite sweet. Like a mix of kopiko and milo). Slow progress today i dunno why. Lunch is nayam rica2 and egg for 21k. Went back home by tj and mom picked me at gajah 2
27 - i hate to say this but bcs for 5 days now ive been fighting sleeping instincts, i snap out of sleepiness easier in the morning. Nasi uduk for brekkie. Moved some stuff up bcs the noise, played keyboard. Learned the (difficult) chords to tyler's see you again and im feeling satisfied. Went to racheel's place. Got fed chicken noodle. And then off to silvi's with devi also. Got fed chicken rice and dimsum. Thanks to friends im eating superwell today🥺
28 - relaxed at home. Skipped breakfast bcs i fell asleep and ate heartily in the afternoon. Evening run w racheel at citra 6
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