#also all of the 'higher beings' that created their reality are dumbasses too and also subject to being tormented by the same goals

[nykloss]

I still sometimes think about how the Good Place and Homestuck have like a million parallels and incredibly similar plot structures and I never know what to do w that information

#what do you do when when you throw four humans into a higher-being-creates situation that theyre destined to fail #so they have to go out of bounds and break the very game theyre trapped in #also all of the 'higher beings' that created their reality are dumbasses too and also subject to being tormented by the same goals #which eventually loops back to a new timeline w new versions of the heros after a 'hard reset' where the 2nd half of the series takes place #etc etc etc #nyklos is typing #theres more but thats the clipnotes version #the whole crafting a new world/better reality #first trying to win the game then realizing its unwinnable then trying to hack it/scratch it/break it/whatever

[axemetaphor]

im definitely not ripping off my friend by making a list of au ideas i have no siree //gonna slap this under a readmore cause i. well i say a lot. all of the time. i tried so hard to format this Good but tumblr fucked me up i am so sorry

so first-off i know i already have one WIP AU (Auckland) on ao3 so i wont talk about That one cause like. spoilers. i actualyl have it like 80% created so its likely gonna truly get finished for once and i dont wanna ruin shit

the other one ive posted about is something me and ben (catgirlrepublic) have worked on together its not at all close to done or anything but it's. a fun little crossover. Between jdate and my fuckinuhm. Original characters story “Untitled Villains Project”. the sketches of the comic version ive started is actually my pinned post 👉👈 its like the first chunk of the story, i think half of part 1? yea.

Tldr john fucking Somehow is able t oget into contact with a certain curious scientist from another reality who’d just love to study the Soy Sauce, most certainly not for her own nefarious purposes

John and Dave meet up with the scientist, her name is Boss, and her lab assistant, Toxic, and after a bit of a preliminary Vibe Check where john determines her trustworthy (which Dave doesnt agree with,) the two agree to be taken to the world UVP is set in. from there they stay in Boss’s lab (big old fucking abandoned military lab). John and Toxic are fast friends due to mutual love-of-chaos. John n Dave get to fuckin, camp out on an air mattress.

The day after they arrive, the two get split up, not exactly intentionally; big plot points of UVP are liek. Fueled by Boss sending Toxic to go fetch her “research materials,” which are usually important artifacts

Fuckin side note i guess i have to explain my dumb bullshit: Boss’s, uh, field of expertise so to speak is actually fckin, basically the scientific study of magic and superpowers n shit like that. This shit’s all real in that world. Toxic’s got fuckin superpowers, so do 4 other main characters, whatever. It’s got a bit to do with spirituality, iss Boss’s hypothesis. So she has Toxic fetch important artifacts that might have “energies” to them. The thing is actually way more fuckin complictated than that, this is just Boss’s initial hypothesis.

Motherfucking anyways. So Boss gives Toxic a job to do, and John get excited about how Cool that sounds, and ends up going with Toxic, leaving Boss and Dave alone. Neither is thrilled about this. But Dave and Boss get to have a bit of conversation (while Toxic and John are off bonding and having a good time) and come to a… mutual grudging understanding of some kind. They still dont like each other though lmao

Theres gonna be deeper shit going on but we havent sorted it out yet/tbh havent like Written For It in a while but i still like thinking about it a lot lol

Also pretty sure our endgame is john and dave steal toxic and bring them back with em lmao boss is kind of not nice and toxic would most certainly be better off in Undisclosed. Actually theyd fucking love it. Theyd become a local cryptid im sure. Undisclosed’s mothman is a teleporting spike baby.

I have. Another crossover AU that i might. Post something about for halloween? Maybe? If i have it finished?

Crosses over into, you guessed it, another one of my original-character projects. God, am i vain or something?

I promise this is just because i think blue and dave should get to team up to beat up some monsters

Quick briefing on my fuckinuh. Original character story, this one doesnt have a name (yet? Idk lol my work never actually goes anywhere sso who gives a shit). It centers around two grim reapers, Red (26, bi woman) and Blue (22, aroace agender asshole). In this reality or whatever, grim reapers function kind of like low-level office workers. They get told who’s going to die + when by some middle-management types, and upper management only involve themselves when punishment needs to be doled out. These Higher-Ups can be seen as analogous to Korrok; they’re decidedly not human, never were, and fucking terrifyingly powerful. Additionally, grim reapers are sort of .. designed to be “background noise” people. In reality theyre supernatural beings and, uh, look Real Fuckin Weird (the whole deal has a neon aesthetic im terrible at drawing uwu) but most humans just perceive them like extras in a movie. A body’s there but the camera’s not focused on it.

To the narrative: the shit starts when Red n Blue get relocated to Undisclosed. Relocation is something that just happens every now and then to reapers; they usually work in teams, but they get split up into different cities to avoid any strong bonds forming (a counter-union strategy from the Higher-Ups).

Red, Blue, John and Dave end up running into each other for the first time in a McDonalds where John n Dave are getting some 4am “hey, we just survived another horrific monster fight” celebration burgers. John and Dave are the only two people who can see how… strange Red and Blue are. Nobody else notices.

John unintentionally pisses Blue off, leading to Blue whacking him upside the head with a dildo bat. They all four get kicked out of McDonald’s. Dave and Red both are less than thrilled

Blue and John end up resolving their differences, somehow. Red and Dave briefly bond over their dumbass best friends being, well, dumbasses. They all part ways amicably.

somehow-or-other (idk yet) they end up running into each other a few more times, and eventually john invites them over to his place, and the four (plus Amy now!) get to know each other a little better

while there, Blue gets a text about some guy who's gonna die and John offers to drive them to where that's gonna go down. they take him up on the offer and get to have a bit of one-on-one conversation

after that ordeal though Blue has had Enough of people and bails, leaving John to head home alone

theres a sort of mirror-development going on with the five of em. Red, John, and Amy would all like everyone to get along, though theyre a bit tentative about it (John moreso than the other two, actually, jsut cause. well Red n Blue could still be Sauce Monsters). Dave and Blue on the other hand do Not like people enough for this shit, and Dave's not unconvinced theyre Sauce Monsters. he will not trust them until proven he should

the story's kinda nebulous but i got an idea for some Shit going down that involves both Sauce Monsters and also the Higher-Ups to have some fuckin absolute chaos go down.

Oops! All Trans

Everybody is transgender. Everyone

Ive actually workshopped this one both with ben (catgirlrepublic) and ghost (ghost-wannabe) lmao its a fun lil concept ive had from the get-go cause i mean. What’s an internet tran gonna do other than hit all their favourite media with the Everyone’s Trans beam

Dave transitioned post-high school and faked his death for it. People go missing in Undisclosed all the damned time, after all. He moved to the next city over, transitioned fully, then came back as a completely new man. Yes i know this doesnt exactly fit with the “everyone knows David from high school” thing alright, hush.

Anytime anyone brings up John’s old best friend (pre-transition Dave) John throws an entire fit like an overdramatic grieving widow. Full-on sobbing “why would you bring her up?! I miss her so much—” to the point that people just stop bringing up because Jesus Christ That Sure Is Uncomfortable KJHGFDS.

This is a scheme he and Dave came up with prior to Dave leaving, though Dave hadnt exactly anticipated John putting on this much of a performance about it— but it’s stopped Dave from ever having tto hear his deadname again, so hey.

Amy transitioned sometime in middle school/early high school. Her family was super supportive and loved her a ton and most people just know her as Amy. she was super shy her whole life really so. Yeah. people just dont think to bring it up lmao also i Feel Like big jim would absolutely wallop anyone who gave her trouble of any kind

John’s nonbinary (genderfluid specifically) and not exactly Interested in transitioning ? like hes fine with how he is. mostly.

he came out to Dave in high school but hes not out to anyone else exactly. Maybe his bandmates. Probably any other trans person in Undisclosed knows, too, cause theyre safe to tell lmao. Johns mostly a “he/him out of convenience” kinda nb who’s cool with any pronouns but does prefer they/them most. Dave and Amy use they/them when the trio are alone

Also this is a totally self-indulgent caveat that i think would be great, Dave’s actually agender but because he's transmasc and transitioned when he thought there were really only two options, and being Boy at least felt less weird than being Girl, he just kind of assumed he was a dude. It’s only through a lot of (like fucking years and years hes probably in his 30s/40s when he puts 2 and 2 together on this one) talks about gender with John that he realizes he actually feels like No Gender. Masc aesthetic with none gender.

I Just Think It’d Be Neat Is All Okay

Also Amy came out to Dave about being trans early on in them seeing each other and his response was to get very nervous before blurting out “me too” and then just being too embarrassed to talk about it for the rest of the day. Hes got a lot of hangups on talking about it actually it takes years for him to get comfortable in that

by contrast when Amy comes out to John about it his response is to yell “EYYY ME TOO” and give her a big ol hug lmao

I think itd be neatt if Amy ran a like. Transfem help/advice blog on tumblr. Kind of helped-with by John who can give her transfem nb insight for certain asks. I also just think that would be neat.

Cowboy AU - i put this one last cause its got drawings to it actually. Theyll be at the bottom

Basically just. Hey you ever watched a western. I think they look neat

This is another one me n ben have come up with lol

The soy sauce and all that shit still exist, im not sure where korrok fits in yet but ill figure it out

Theres no real like solid narrative yet ? but heres the barebones of everybody’s arcs.

John

Johns an absolute troublemaker, Of Course. Hes wanted in several towns for absolutely stupid shit. Hes a loner who shows up, causes chaos, gets drunk, does some drugs, runs away if people get too mad at him

He definitely had the same kind of deal with the soy sauce as in canon— he was at some kind of party, somebody offered it, he took it cause why the fuck wouldnt he, now he can see monsters and shit

Hes kind of a mooch also. Like. dont let him stay in your barn man he’ll never fucking leave and drink all your booze.

He runs into Dave when they happen to just, cross paths in the same town. the bullshit John stirs up ends up involving Dave in a way that makes it seem like it's his fault too, and they both get run out of town

after that he just tags along after Dave. hes decided this guy's Cool he wants to stick around. Dave is pissed at first, but not enough to shoot him or anything, and eventually, John grows on him

Dave

Dave also is a loner but unlike John hes simply so fucking awkward and bad with people. He doesnt feel like he belongs anywhere so he just travels

He’s the stereotypical Lone Ranger tbh. He wanders from town to town, solving their problems, though hed deny its out of any moral obligation (it kinda is, a little bit, tbh. He does like feeling useful). He shows up, fixes things, leaves. He's kind of a legend but most people think he's hiding something dark. other people jsut know him as that guy who farted real loud in the middle of the saloon and promptly skipped town out of sheer embarrassment. you know how it goes with Dave

He ends up involved with the Soy Sauce when a snake (not Actually a snake,) bites him. The snake’s more like the wig-monsters, really. Anyway, it injects him with the soy sauce, he fucking trips balls in the middle of the desert, he can see monsters now

He runs into John and shit goes tits-up, as said, but they become traveling buddies after that. he'd never say so, but he's glad for the company, actually. it's nice. hes not used to companionship but he feels a strange kind of easiness hanging out with John....

not sure how the Monster Dave concept will like fit in to this reality but like. trust me i want it in here. I'll Figure It Out.

Amy

Amy’s been living in a town John and Dave end up passing through and she is very curious about these two new Handsome Strangers who claim to fight monsters and just kinda. Persistently tags along til they let her join for real

Her family’s all dead, unfortunately, just like in canon, and she’s been living alone for a few years before meeting John n Dave. she had nothing left in that town to stay for, she'd been fantasizing about escaping on wild adventures for a long time and this felt a little like a dream come true. (Dave still gives her a spiel about how Difficult it is, but really, her fantasies were pretty grounded-in-reality already. i jsut think thats how she is, yknow?)

Shes the first person to react to the whole “we see monsters” shit with a kind of “oh, okay. neat” kind of response lmao

John and Dave fix whatever the fuck is up with her town (maybe that’s where the Korrok shit can fit, who knows) and Amy ends up being integral to that. After, she insists they take her with them because “they need her now” and Dave just cant really say no. John too is very much "the more the merrier!" and hes actually glad to have another person along he loves people lmao

At the start she has long hair but after she joins them she chops it short with a knife for convenience

also she still is an amputee. justt. idk. it was a wagon/stagecoach accident rather than a car accident lmao. just to clarify since i hadnt mentioned it, i wouldnt rob her of her ghost hand or yknow. all of the significance to her character that Missing A Hand has. although also now im going to have to research what was used as painkillers way-back-when, but im betting shes still got, like, her pain pills, they probably had those, maybe i wouldnt have to try too hard there. old timey medicine could be WACK though,

Shitload

Yeah hes in tthis shit mostly cause i liked designing his cowboy self lmao

Hes a kid (like 16, 17, technically i think in those days that was more Young Man than Kid but whatever. Hes Young i mean.) who got possessed by the Worms out in the desert and, by his family’s perception, just went missing!

Hes also a wanderer, but he ended up at the same town john and dave met in, at that same time, and starts following them after, already aware of who/what they are.

He keeps his face covered 24/7. actually he covers a Majority of his self for reasons. kinda want him to be a slightly more horrifying Worm Entity rather than human idk,

I kinda dont have much for this boy yet sorry Shitload

images !

with some editing notes for me cause im doing a very specific aesthetic with this lmao. i might change some lil details/colours though ...... idk

im also kinda 🤔 about shitload's colour palette. i want things assoicated w the sauce to be black'n'red predominantly but i think his palette might mirror dave's too closely. also im working on a korrok design i jsut am too busy to draw it now

#jdate #john dies at the end #aus #erh. tthe hell do i tag this as #rambles.txt #long post #well let me know if youd wanna hear more or. or something #send an ask. or whatever #yaknow #:jazz hands:

[relatablepicturesofpatrickgill]

I’m sorry if this is cynical, but I’d really like your input on it (as an experience polygon vid/pat stream viewer): Do you think Pat is pushing the after hours streaming stuff because Polygon is ending? Or, at least, to try and maintain the ‘funny video/personality’ fans? I’ve noticed a lot of other polygon vid personalities are doing similar things, and main polygon video content keeps slowing down and changing, presumably in compliance w/ vox media strategy? Have you noticed too?

First of all real bold of you sending this to a Pat fanblog where all I do is make dumbass shitposts and post cat clips, as if I know a single goddamn thing about anything, but since you asked I’ll try to answer as many of your questions as possible. (I’m not mad about being asked btw I just really find it funny you’d send it here of all places lmao). Disclaimer time: I am not in any way affiliated with Polygon or Vox Media nor do I know how they operate behind the scenes.

Do I personally think Polygon is ending and that Pat streams because of that? Short answer, no. However, I believe Polygon’s necessary (yes, I said necessary) and inevitable (yes, INEVITABLE) change in content is due to a lot of deeper issues people might not know about, which I’ve gathered from research and being an idiot whomst has watched Youtube for 10+ years. Let me just say, the last year or so has pretty much been the “Everybody Knows Shits Fucked” song on repeat until we die so this is going to be a long ass post. Buckle up kiddos we’re warp speeding into this fuckfest together.

Youtube Advertiser Boycott And The Algorithms

Every social media website employs the use of algorithms to decide how content gets sorted, and Youtube isn’t any different. That’s why Youtubers constantly ask you to “like, comment and subscribe” because it helps their content get noticed through Youtube’s internal system – such as search priority, the trending section, your homepage and your recommended tab, as well as the recommended sidebar on individual videos. As for content, one of the more effective models was to find a niche and cater to it, something Polygon did by creating Monster Factory and similar humored series alongside their serious content.

And for a while, it worked. Except things change.

Before we get any further I highly suggest you read this article written by Julia Alexander about the complicated history of Youtube’s monetization system, but I’ll try to give a quick summary. Something controversial will happen on Youtube, causing brands to pull their business from the platform until they can get more security on what types of videos their ads play on, then Youtube refines the system to give brands more control. Rinse and repeat. The new system results in a massive amount of videos being demonetized, causing creators to lose revenue and viewer engagement and then request appeals to have their content reviewed by humans, which in turn improves the algorithm. Those most negatively affected by the system must diversify their payments either through Patreon, Twitch, merch, etc, or in worst case scenarios, give up on their dreams of being a Youtuber.

Youtube has a lot of incentive to keep creators updated on changes, so when users ask, “hey, can we know what’s going on with the website?” Youtube responds with an informative, “absolutely not. Die.” The userbase, as a result, is forced to run their own investigations. Nerd City published a video revealing another algorithm (one just as prone to mistakes) assigns all videos with an MPAA-style rating to make it easier for businesses to decide what sort of content they’re comfortable advertising on. This rating – hidden from both the uploader and their audience – Cannot. Be. Appealed. Good fucking system am I right!!! (Also, please watch the video if you get the chance, it brings up some points about machine learning and how the system negatively affects marginalized creators).

One more thing, do you remember what I said earlier about how a video gets popular on Youtube’s internal system? Well, creators have reason to believe a higher rating attributes to view suppression – meaning their videos might end up exempt from the things I listed. This makes it so much harder for a channel to grow their userbase outside of an already established audience. If you’re following along you might be able to tell where I’m going with this, but if not…

What Does This Have To Do With Video Games Polygon?

Once again, I do not know any of the behind the scenes Polygon lore and a lot of this is guesswork on my part. I’d imagine as a branch of Vox Media, Polygon would have a higher priority getting any potentially demonetized videos appealed than smaller, independent channels do. However, when your own website is reporting the system responsible for sorting and rating videos goes deeper than just demonetization, with a full MPAA-style ranking that’s been shown to suppress the growth of certain content not deemed advertiser friendly, such as excessive profanity and sexually suggestive content, which turns out is a subset of the niche your channel has developed – that’s a problem.

This isn’t me being critical of their content or saying what they make is bad (considering I’m a fan of it as well), this is an objective look at the reality of a rapidly changing platform. Unfortunately, the biggest flags in my head for Polygon happen to be the Jackbox series and… Monster Factory. There’s absolutely no way some of those videos are getting a kid-friendly rating, and it’s possible the bot is slapping some of them with a mature rating – the worst one where enough of those could potentially affect the rating of the entire channel. Griffin, in one of the Spore MF videos, emphatically yells, “come fuck this” to the heavens; lo and behold, a few years later Youtube finally does.

Of course, this is just one of a few different problems Polygon is facing. The Mcelroys left to focus on their own businesses, taking some of their fans with them. Other fans who mainly want the video game news might end up unsubscribing if too many videos irrelevant to their interests are posted. Some series, while perfectly funny in their own right, have trouble breaking out and appealing to a wider audience.

Polygone But Not Forgotten?

I’ll try to put it as softly as I can: almost all creators on Youtube have to reevaluate the content they put out and how it fits into Youtube’s ad-friendly guidelines if they want to continue receiving ad revenue and viewer engagement from the site. This is not just a Polygon specific problem, and as a news channel they benefit a lot more by working within the new parameters. Polygon’s primary priority should be their video game website, where I go to read all the articles that aren’t about video games, as ad revenue is probably more stable and allows them more room for sillier content. As for their channel, the “horny niche” appeal doesn’t have as much of a place anymore. Well, on Youtube at least.

Twitch, however, seems like a better home for Polygon’s familiar borderline type of humor. On a stream Pat said, as the live video producer, he’s responsible for getting their channel partnered which will come with some very important benefits, such as the ability to subscribe. I’d assume creating content for Youtube takes priority over this, and there’s also the fact that Pat is just one person and needs to balance this with other things like “having a life” and “eating??? Perhaps???” (maybe even A Vegetable). By the way, to answer one of your other questions, it’s normal for creators to have projects outside of their work and build their own personal brand, like Pat’s Twitch channel, Brian’s Youtube channel, Simone’s author account and everyone’s countless podcasts. It’s not recommended to rely solely on Youtube for your income, even before the ad boycotts, so if you can diversify your content then do so.

Listen, I know this is disappointing and I know it’s not the answer people want. Youtube’s new system isn’t going away and the video team needs to accommodate for these changes or otherwise Perish. I believe in Polygon’s ability to deliver informative, humorous and accessible content, they just need the time to do it. As an audience, a way to offer support during this difficult time is to just be as understanding and patient as possible, and give the content they put out a chance if you can.

Now I am not an expert on any of this, but if you have any questions or comments you can send them to my main @malarcana and I’ll try to answer them. Thanks for reading!

#polygon #nerd city #julia alexander #gillbox #long post #i cant stop thinking about being referred to as 'an experienced pat stream viewer' #i should have a button with that on it #My Legacy #also julia is leaving polygon now where do i get my youtube news from #i cant look stuff up myself im too lazy #x

[chemicalmagecraft]

The Gamer Hero, Deku Chapter 6

A/N: Sorry for the wall of text. I just wanted to get what Izuku's passives dealt with so everyone knows.

To Silverspirit: Thanks! I really do appreciate constructive criticism like this! Hopefully I'll be able to mellow out a little more with the skills now (though I feel like Midoriya should probably spend some skill fragments soon if I think of anything to spend it on). Something I'd like to note, though, is that the reason that Bakugou is so much more mellowed out is a combination of the fact that he has no reason to be angry with Midoriya and the fact that he's had ten months of offscreen character development.

To Shadow S. Korosu: Yep, you're totally right. Bakugou shouldn't and isn't going to have the same level of magical ability as Midoriya. Yes, he is going to learn some magical skill, but he explicitly can't develop as fast as Midoriya. As in the original manga, The Gamer is stupid broken and lets its user do stupid broken things. The reason why it seemed that Bakugou was so good in that battle is because he has a fire affinity five times higher than Midoriya's air affinity, so he explicitly has the advantage when it comes to his fire spells. Still though, he can't do something stupid like gain a new elemental affinity in the middle of a fight because the one he's using isn't working. That being said, it'll be a lot easier to become powerful with magic in this fic than it will be in The Gamer because I really like it when people are super powerful in whatever media and reality can be whatever I want it to be now.

Edit: Chopped up some of the longer paragraphs because what the heck was I thinking with that?

xoxoxo

A few days after Kacchan revealed he could use magic, All Might got back to us about... whatever he had to do about the fact that we'd discovered that magic existed. Apparently, he'd had to contact some government higher-ups, though he didn't go into too much detail about it. "If anyone's discovered magic before you two, whoever did it kept it a secret," he told us. "The official ruling is that 'magic' and 'Quirk usage' are legally synonymous for the purposes of public Quirk usage laws. Additionally, you two are totally allowed to teach other people magic, but the suggestion is to only allow people who can be trusted with that power to learn about it, for obvious reasons. I've been asked to tell you that they need some notes from the both of you about the details regarding magic, like how to use it. Some scientists are going to do some serious research on the subject."

We agreed to do what he asked. Aside from that, we went on as normal, training for Yuuei. Kacchan decided to focus more on practicing his magic, with some physical workouts. I mostly did conditioning for One For All while training what magic I could at night and occasionally during the day, plus constantly having Halitus out to level grind Summon Basic Elemental without having to put in any actual effort. Aside from that, I decided that, while I would only have as many elementals as my skill's level would allow me to have out at a time, I should at least have the affinities for the other two elements just in case. Getting water had been as simple as just sticking my hands in the ocean until I got it, but I couldn't figure out how to safely get fire affinity (Kacchan smacked me on the head when I suggested just layering up buffs and then sticking my hand into a fire while using Healing Hands) until Kacchan had the bright idea to have me see if I could use Pyra instead of fire. Despite the fact that Pyra was made of fire in her fully summoned state, she would only burn things if she wanted to and was just warm to the touch when she didn't. I felt a little weird placing my palm on her forehead, but it did get me fire affinity. I found that Fire Aura gave me a 30% boost to attack damage, a 15% boost to movement speed, a 10% STR bonus, and the ability to generate heat. Water Aura, interestingly enough, gave me a 30% increase to magical defense, a 15% increase to magical attack, a 10% INT bonus, and the ability to both condense water from the atmosphere and generate it with MP. Their respective elemental weaponry skills gave similar bonuses. While I did occasionally use Elemental Aura in my physical training to see how they affected my abilities, I mostly just used my natural strength in the hope that that'd be the best for upping my VIT. It took most of the ten months before the entrance exams, but eventually...

Through rigorous exercise, your VIT has increased by one!

Congratulations! The quest Roaring Muscles was completed!

Completion Rewards: One For All (speak to Toshinori), 5000 EXP, 5000 Skill Fragments, Increased closeness with Bakugou, Increased closeness with Toshinori

Your level has increased by one! (x3)

I got my VIT up to 50. I looked at my stats.

STR: 44

VIT: 50

DEX: 46

INT: 73

WIS: 69

LUC: 49

I grinned. Most of my stats were either already past the fifty benchmark already or close enough that I could hopefully get them up to it within the next two months. But first, I had to do something. "All Might!" I called out.

"What is it, young Midoriya?" he asked, currently in his civilian form.

"I got my VIT to fifty!"

He switched to his hero form, then gave his trademark grin. "That's great, young Midoriya! Now I can pass my power on to you!"

"About that," I said. "How do you pass your power on to someone?"

"You see," he pulled off a piece of his hair and said, "for you to receive my power, you have to eat my hair."

"What the fuck!?" Kacchan asked as he walked over from the inferno that he'd made, with the fire dying down as soon as he left it. "Why the hell does Deku have to eat your fucking hair?"

"I can pass my Quirk on to someone through making them eat my DNA. I feel that the best thing to use for that is my hair."

I gulped, then took the hair that he offered me. "Down the hatch..." I muttered, then placed the hair in my mouth. It was hard to swallow, so I used the first step of a water spell that I'd made, Water Gun, to condense some water from the air to wash it down. I shuddered when I'd finished the water and, thankfully, the hair. "That was a little unpleasant..."

"I still remember how weird it was when I had to do it," All Might commiserated. "Now we just have to wait a few hours for your new Quirk to come, young Midoriya."

"Why the fuck doesn't it come automatically?" Kacchan asked.

"Does it have to digest first?" I theorized. "And maybe the Quirk factor has to take time to grow in even after it-" I was cut off my a ping.

A skill has been created by gaining the power of All Might! By having All Might pass his Quirk to you, the skill 'One For All' has been created.

One For All (Active and Passive) LV1 EXP 0.00%

When Quirks first started to come into existence, there was chaos. In that chaos, one man born with the power to take the Quirks of others and give them to others or use them for himself took advantage of the situation to amass power. This man had a brother, who was born with the rather underwhelming ability to pass his Quirk, the ability to pass his Quirk on to another, on to another. While it is unknown whether it was out of malice or compassion, the man forced the Quirk Power Stockpile onto his brother, and from the combination of the two Quirks, the Quirk known as One For All was born.

Skill grants the user a second MP bar. When skill is not in use, this second MP bar fills over time when the first MP bar is filled, using the same MP regeneration rate. This second MP bar has no upper limit.

When activated, user can draw upon the second MP bar in place of the natural one.

User can expend MP to increase the power of most stats and skills.

"Wah!" I exclaimed.

"What is it, young Midoriya?" All Might asked me.

"I just got One For All. I think that my Quirk sped up the process of me getting One For All, which actually makes sense when you think about it. In most games, whatever effect food and other edible things have is applied immediately, despite how it would logically require time to digest. I guess that that also means that I can use food to... Wait, that's not everything." I looked once more at the description. It was weird. The skill felt a little more complicated than what it said. Aside from that... "The description of the skill states that it was made by someone with a Quirk that can steal other people's Quirks and give them to others. Do you... know anything about that?" I asked.

All Might sighed. "Sit down, the both of you. This will be a shock." Kacchan and I sat down on the sand as All Might sat on his chair. "That man was called All For One. He was probably the most dangerous villain in the history of the world. He gained many followers in the early years of Quirks thanks to his abilities. Thankfully, his own brother, the first bearer of One For All, disagreed with him and stopped him. Unfortunately, however, All For One survived and, I'm assuming, took some form of life-extending Quirk. I know this because he was the reason why I got this wound five years ago. I'd like to say that he's dead, but we never found the body, so we can't say for sure."

I... didn't say anything. I couldn't say anything. Even with the Gamer's Mind, it was a lot to take in. I think that if I could have said anything, it would have been exactly what Kacchan was saying. "Fuuuuuuuuuck. That's... fuck."

"I understand if you have reservations," All Might said. "I hoped that this wouldn't come up just yet. I wanted you to have a school experience unmarred by worry about All For One."

Kacchan scoffed. "Well maybe you still should've fucking said something about that shit before Deku ate your gross fucking hair, dumbass."

"It's fine, Kacchan," I said. "I was already prepared to be a hero, so learning that I already have an arch-nemesis isn't that bad. I'm still going to need some time to process this, but for now..." I got up and walked over to an area where there was only a stretch of sand so as to avoid collateral damage. "I've always wanted to do this." I cocked my arm back. "DETROIT!" Energy flowed through my whole arm, and for some reason I got a Sense Danger warning. That really should've been a red flag, in hindsight. "SMASH!" I punched the air, the simple force of it causing a shockwave that sent sand flying. It wasn't as strong as All Might's, but it was still a Detroit Smash! My excitement was almost immediately destroyed by the fact that my arm felt like I'd punched the sound barrier, which I had.

System Warning: Using One For All at full power is inadvisable in current condition. Usage should be limited to lower power. Level up skill to decrease damage taken.

The level of the skill Physical Endurance has increased by one!

I looked at my health, then winced and activated Healing Hands and Regeneration. "I think that my body still isn't completely up to the task of using One For All yet," I said. "My health dropped about a quarter from that one punch. I think that I should probably train my physical stats a bit more in the next two months as well as One For All practice. That might be for the best."

"Deku you better not fucking break yourself in half," Kacchan scolded.

"Yes, I would prefer that you not kill yourself, young Midoriya. That would be bad," All Might agreed. "If that's the case, then you should get back to work.

xoxoxo

I stared at the school. It was huge! I got the vaguest feeling that, if not for Gamer's Mind, I would have been shaking. "We're here..." I said.

"Yup," Kacchan said to with a toothy grin. "It'd suck pretty hard if you fucked up now and got no points at all, huh?" I looked at him. Sometime during the last two months of training, his title had changed in addition to the levels and points of INT and WIS he'd gained.

Art is an Explosion

LV 27

Katsuki Bakugou

"I doubt I'll get zero points, Kacchan," I said. "My stats are all above fifty, and INT and WIS are both approaching one hundred. I'm probably the most powerful person taking the exams, and that's not even counting One For All." It had taken a tremendous amount of effort, but I felt great about myself for managing to get all of the fifty point skills before the Yuuei entrance exam.

The skill 'Heroic Strength' has been created through STR rising above 50.

Heroic Strength (Passive) LV2 EXP 2.14%

Some are endowed with the strength to move mountains. This skill grants enhanced physical ability.

10% increase to STR.

10% increase to physical attack.

50% increase to strength-based skill effects.

The skill 'Iron Body' has been created through VIT rising above 50.

Iron Body (Passive) LV5 EXP 7.21%

Some are bestowed with the vitality to endure any punishment. This skill grants enhanced physical durability.

10% increase to VIT.

10% increase to HP.

50% increase to HP-based skill effects.

The skill 'Fleet Foot' has been created through DEX rising above 50.

Fleet Foot (Passive) LV 3 EXP 3.21%

Some are bestowed with the speed to rival the wind. This skill grants enhanced swiftness.

10% increase to DEX.

10% increase to movement speed.

50% increase to DEX-based skill effects.

The skill 'Born Lucky' has been created through LUC rising above 50.

Born Lucky (Passive) LV1 EXP 87.56%

Luck can be a very fickle thing. This skill is bestowed upon those who luck favors.

10% increase to LUC

10% increase to loot drops.

50% increase to LUC-based skill effects.

Kacchan scoffed. "Like I'll let you just take that title without a fight," he said, lightly punching me on the shoulder.

"It's a contest, then!" I smiled. "Let's see who gets the most points!" "I feel really good about this!" I mentally exclaimed. Then I tripped. "Or not." Before I could even have Halitus try to stop my fall, I just... stopped. I felt odd, like gravity had stopped working on me.

"Sorry for using my Quirk on you without asking," a female voice said, "but I thought that you might not like going through your exams with a bloody nose!" Someone pulled me into a position where I wouldn't fall, then gravity reasserted itself on me and I landed on my feet. "I hope that's okay!" she said. I turned to see a cute brown-haired girl with rosy cheeks and a bright smile.

Space Kid

LV 19

Uraraka Ochako

"Oh no, it's fine!" I said. I probably would've just frozen up and blurted out nonsense words if I didn't have Gamer's Mind. I used to get really nervous when first meeting attractive people like that. "So your Quirk is some sort of gravity-manipulation power, right?"

"Yeah!" she said, then showed me one of her hands, or rather the pads on the ends of her fingers. "I can make objects weightless if I touch them with these things. It makes me all kinds of nauseous if I use it too much, though..."

"Even with that, it seems like a really powerful and useful Quirk," I said. "You'll probably be a great hero!"

She beamed. "Thanks! I'm Uraraka Ochako, by the way. Are you two here for the hero course too?"

Kacchan did that thing where he punches his fist into his other palm and makes an explosion to look cool. "Yup! Deku and I are gonna dominate this thing, so you'd better watch out."

I sighed. "Kacchan, could you please be nice to someone who could be our future classmate?"

She laughed. "It's nice to meet you two! I'll see you two in the hero course!" Then she ran off.

A few moments later Kacchan exasperatedly said, "Son of a bitch she only knows me as Kacchan now."

"We have to get to our exams, Kacchan," I reminded him.

"Yeah, yeah," he sighed.

xoxoxo

The written exams were... well, I suppose they were difficult, but my INT was so high that I breezed through them. After that, all of the hero course students had to attend a presentation (By Present Mic!) about what the practical exams would be like. The answer was robot-fighting, apparently. During the explanation, a boy stood up to ask a question and decided to scold me for muttering as well. That was embarrassing... After that, they escorted us to the fake cities where we'd be taking the exams. Unfortunately, Kacchan was sent to a different training ground than me, probably because they didn't want people who know each other working together. Present Mic announced that we'd have a few minutes to get ready for the exam, then clarified that that meant things like stretching but also things like preparing our Quirks. At that moment, I got a new quest.

A quest has been created!

Start Line

The Yuuei entrance exams include a ten-minute mock battle against robots. Get as many combat points as you can!

Optional objectives: Destroy the zero-pointer.

Completion: 100 EXP per combat point, 100 Skill Fragments per combat point. Optional: 2500 EXP, 2500 Skill Fragments.

Failure: You don't get any combat points, decreased closeness with Bakugou.

I readied up my buffs, holding them so that I could use them the moment the exam started but also regenerate my MP and use One For All to charge them up. As I looked over the crowd, I saw Uraraka. I started to walk over to her to thank her for earlier when I felt a hand on my shoulder. "What do you think you're doing?" I turned around to see the boy who scolded me earlier in a tight-fitting shirt that really showed off his muscles, unlike my tracksuit. He also appeared to have engines in his calves, which was probably his Quirk. "She appears to be getting ready for the mock battle." You could tell from his voice alone that he was really strict. "Were you going to use your Quirk on her to soften up the competition?" He looked at my left hand. I looked at the four balls of colored light in my hand. That probably looked bad, didn't it?

"It's not what it looks like!" I blurted. He raised an eyebrow. "The balls are for me, not her!" I clarified. He was actually really intimidating.

His face softened up a bit, then he bowed at a ninety-degree angle. "My apologies," he said, then came up. "What were you going to do with her, then?"

"I tripped earlier and she caught me. I don't think it would've been too bad thanks to my Quirk, but I wanted to thank her anyways," I explained. He nodded. I took a look at his name.

Class President

LV 24

Iida Tenya

"I see," he said. "I apologize for my harsh tone. It seemed at first that you were trying to distract the others."

I would have said something to him, but before I could, Present Mic yelled, "GO!" and a timer appeared on my UI, counting down from ten minutes. Everyone went quiet and started staring at him. "What are you standing there for, listeners!? You don't get countdowns in real life! Start already!" I panicked a bit, then popped my Speed Up and started using Air Aura. I dashed off into the mock city as fast as I could, looking at my minimap as I did. Now that the exam was starting, the robots were appearing as red dots on it. "Halitus, Dune," I muttered. My air elemental appeared, and next to him was my new earth elemental. I'd made her only a month ago. She had a very different style of clothing from the other two elementals I'd seen, with what looked like some sort of military desert camouflage uniform and a pair of goggles pushed up onto her hair. She had short, sandy blonde hair and dark brown skin that reminded me of rich soil. "Point me to where the most robots are," I told them. As I did, Iida ran up to me.

"A fellow speedster, I see!" he exclaimed over the wind. "I look forward to seeing what you can do if you get into the hero course!" Before I could say anything to him, he got even faster and dashed off. A few moments later, my elementals pointed me to a street where there were a lot of robots. I used the Attack Up, Defense Up, and Regeneration that I'd been saving for an encounter, then made a katana with Bound Blade and used Air Aura on it. Air seemed like it'd be the best for the mock battle because the speed bonuses meant that I could rack up a lot of points quickly. I proved myself right when I charged at the robots, carving through most of them in seconds. When there were only a few left, I shot my hand out at them and made a crushing motion, causing them to crumple like tin cans as Dune and Halitus combined their powers to destroy them with a combination of increased air pressure and their own armor pressing in on them. 

"That was so awesome," I muttered. I dropped my Air Aura and dissipated my Bound Blade to let my mana fill back up. I'd already gotten twenty-nine points and two level-ups in the span of... I checked the timer. Two minutes. "I'm doing great!" I exclaimed. As I ran to the next hot spot, a one-pointer surprised me by jumping out of the wall like an evil Kool-Aid man. I yelped, then pulled out my sword to slice at it. The robot managed to almost dodge my swing, ending up with me only chopping off its toe. Before I could utterly wreck it with a spell, a laser beam came out of nowhere and decimated it, resulting in me getting some, but not all, of the experience points from the kill. I turned to where the beam of light came from.

"Merci," a pretty boy (Was he... sparkling?) with blonde hair and a strange-looking belt said. "You and I make a great team, monsieur. You seem like excellent bait for les robots." He then ran off, likely in search of more robots. I decided to let it not bother me due to the exams being a bit of a competition and instead just continued on, destroying the robots I saw. I decided to use ranged skills to destroy them from a distance. "Air Slash!" I yelled. A blade of air shot at the three-pointer, cutting its "head" off. "Fireball!" The next robot I found was exploded and melted. "Water Gun!" The third robot was pierced by a bullet made of water, its delicate insides soaked into uselessness.

It continued on like that for a while until I found where most of the fighting probably occurred. Robot remains were everywhere. As I watched, Iida kicked a robot with his engine leg so hard that it just stopped working and Uraraka pressed her fingers together, releasing a bunch of robots to the cruel reign of gravity. It looked like everyone was resting before splitting up to find more points. I was about to leave when the ground started shaking. A towering, building-sized robot, the zero-pointer, rose up from the ground and started thrashing about. It goes without saying that this caused everyone to panic and run away. I was about to join them when I heard a familiar voice cry for help. I saw Uraraka trapped under a rock, with the zero-pointer coming closer. It wasn't even a question what I should do next. I ran as fast as I could, using Air Aura and another Speed Up to replace the one that ran out. As I ran, I used an Attack Up, Defense Up, and Regeneration on myself, then shot another Defense Up and Regeneration at Uraraka just in case. When I was close enough, I jumped, using a barely-harnessed Air Burst combined with some One For All to send me flying skyward. As I rose, I felt the glow of One For All rise up in my arm, and I let it go full-force, even added to it with some air mana. Because it was supposed to be a secret that I had All Might's Quirk, I didn't shout any of All Might's attack names. Instead, when I wound up my punch, I shouted, "LIMIIIT!" I punched at the robot with all my might. "BREAAAAAAAK!" The rush of air slammed into the zero-pointer, hitting it so hard that its face crumpled in. The zero-pointer toppled backward from the force of the punch.

Your level has increased by one! x7

I didn't feel as bad as last time, but it still hurt. I began to fall and gulped when I saw how far away the ground was. I really didn't want to know what would happen if my already low HP hit zero. I immediately activated Healing Hands, hoping to get my HP up enough that I wouldn't die upon hitting the ground. When I was closer to the ground, I made a sword and shield with Bound Blade. I crossed my metaphorical fingers and tried to use Earth Aura on myself and the shield while using Air Aura on the sword. It worked! Before I could begin the next phase of my plan (try to make a delayed Air Burst on the sword and then throw it at the ground), though, someone slapped me on the cheek and I felt myself become immune to gravity's pull for the second time that day. I stopped within half a meter of the ground and deactivated my skills as Uraraka released her Quirk. "Thank goodness!" she said sickly as the robot part that she was on touched down. "I was afraid you'd..." she started barfing before she could finish her sentence.

"Thanks, Uraraka!" I said. I jumped up to her and used Healing Hands on her. "I wasn't sure if my plan would work or not, so that was a relief."

She bolted upright as my skill began to take effect. "I don't feel nauseous anymore!" she remarked as she wiped her mouth off with a wet wipe she pulled from her pocket. She turned to look at me with excitement in her eyes. "Can you heal people with your Quirk?"

I nervously rubbed behind my head. "I guess you could say that..."

"That's awesome! Thanks for getting rid of my nausea, by the way!" Her smile was infectious.

"TIME'S UP, FOLKS!" Present Mic's voice blared over the speakers.

"Eep! I forgot about the exam!" Uraraka said. We both sighed and sat down on the robot. "It's too late to do anything now... How many points did you get, by the way?"

I counted the robots I fought up for a moment. "Thirty-eight," I said.

"I got twenty-nine," she sighed. "I hope that that's enough to get in the hero course. You're totally going to get in, though." She paused for a moment. "I don't think I got you or your friend's name, just nicknames."

"Yeah," I said. "I'm Midoriya Izuku. My friend's name is Bakugou Katsuki. Those were nicknames we've had for each other for a while."

She smiled. "Great to meet you then, Midoriya!"

"Are either of you two hurt?" someone asked. I looked down to see an old woman with a syringe-shaped cane.

"Recovery Girl!" I said. I looked at my HP to see if I was hurt, then jumped off the robot part. "I'm fine, thanks."

"I'm good too!" Uraraka said and jumped off as well. "It's cool seeing a pro like you!"

Recovery Girl nodded and then gave us some gummies. "Neither of you look hurt, though I suggest the two of you go to the doctor if anything starts hurting. Eat those one at a time, they'll help you recover your strength."

"Thanks!" Uraraka said. As Recovery Girl walked off to treat the other examinees, Uraraka turned to me and said, "Can you believe we just met Recovery Girl?"

"I know, right!" I exclaimed. "I should probably go now, but I hope I see you in the hero course!"

"Bye!" she said. I waved to her as I left.

xoxoxo

A/N: I stink at titles and names, apparently.

Yeah, I ended up using the TGWP names for two of the skills (made up my own effects for all the skills, though). It took me a few days to get Fleet Foot and Born Lucky and I just had writers' block for the other two... hope that's okay!

#The Gamer Hero Deku #Gamer Hero Deku #fanfiction #GHD CH6 #BNHA

[qm-vox]

So You Want To Play A Beast

(Meme version of Queen Ramona Rabbit provided by cantankerousAquarius, character by me. Catch her in New Avalon.)

Here I am, back on my bullshit again. As I mentioned in So You Want To Run A Spring Court, a series of Seeming articles are starting up next. Unlike Courts, Seemings are not political or religious bodies, and are only loosely social identities; rather, one’s Seeming is part of who and what one is. Lost develop a Seeming because of the abuse they have survived, the labors they were forced to undergo, and what they did to survive both. It can be a complicated and hurtful subject for Changelings, but also a source of pride; the things you learned to become a Beast, a Darkling, an Ogre, are also the things that ultimately helped you to escape.

At this point you may be wondering why I started with the Courts when Seemings are more fundamental to an individual character, as well as less optional (you can have no Court, but it’s hard to have no Seeming). I’m gonna be real with you, it’s because there’s six of these damn things and each of them is about to be as complex, if not more, as the Court articles.

The following article draws primarily on Changeling: the Lost core and Winter Masques, with additional information drawn from Swords at Dawn (that last book has come up a lot because it deals with the Lost in change and conflict). Other books, where used, will be cited. And so, without further ado:

A Miserable Menagerie - Beast Overview

Beast is the first Seeming presented in Changeling: the Lost, and is well-represented in the published material and the fanbase alike, being one of the most popular and therefore most common. Stripped of their human reasons, Beasts had to remember how to think like human beings again before they could escape and seize their Homecoming. It’s never exactly a complete reversion. Aside from this common loss of reason, and a certain surprising sociability (more on both of these later), few experiences unite Beast to Beast, a reality that can make their fellow Lost mistakenly think that their Beast peers lack common strengths and common bonds. It’s true that many Beasts have strong similarities to Lost of other Seemings that share similar functions (a Truefriend kept as a loyal and loving hound has a lot in common with a Playmate forced to serve as an ornamental factotum and the Chateline condemned to maintain her Keeper’s house), but it’s also true that any Beast has more in common with their fellow Beasts than with the troubles of their non-Beast peers.

Release the Hounds - Homecoming as a Beast

Compared to Beasts, only the wretched Wizened have a higher disparity between those who are taken by the Fae and those who manage to return. Anyone at all might become a Beast; the process of transformation is a sort of corruption, one a mortal prisoner might catch from being forced to live among animals, from being treated as subhuman, by deliberate malice, alchemical transformation, or even deliberate pact - but not anyone who becomes a Beast can manage to achieve their Homecoming. The first and most difficult step is to find their reason again, some powerful trigger or memory that reminds the Beast that they were once human and that the Fairest of Lands (Arcadia) is not their home. Though not all Beasts degrade in intelligence in the same way or to the same degree (one might be seemingly wholly feral, condemned to live as a rabbit or a rat, while another has memories of being a hunter-gatherer among a pack of others, with axe and bow to hand and no thought but the kill and feast), no Beast can escape without remembering what it was like to be mortal. It’s more than just a matter of cunning or intelligence; indeed, the actual physical act of escape is often shockingly simple. It’s that without human intellect, human memory, the Beast cannot yearn to return home, and thus cannot escape the Fairest of Lands.

The second obstacle is having something to come back to, and believing that you deserve to have your Homecoming. This is easier, in some ways, than regaining your mind, but infinitely more insidious. All Lost need mortal memories to make their way home, of course, but for Beasts they need something to focus on that keeps their reason anchored while they’re still trapped in the lands of unreason. It can be all-too-easy to slide back into the animal’s mind, especially if your moment of clarity and your opportunity to escape don’t coincide. The hound knows how to survive the mad lands when the man might not.

Memories of loved ones to come back to help, but for many Beasts the light that guides them home are distinctly human places, places where they felt that they belonged and which in some way belonged to them. The library where a Beast spent her childhood, full of her fond memories and imagination, can help her cling to her human half long enough to get home, as might the memory of the funeral home where her father’s wake was held, or even the stadium where she was cheered on by adoring fans. These human places hold significance that can be understood on some level by the animal (safety and contentment, loss and sorrow, joy and thrill), but require human reason, human perspective, to be wholly understood. That reason, and the shining light of the mortal world, draws the Beast back home.

Beasts are among those Seemings least likely to escape with someone else’s help. It’s not that they’re asocial or incapable of cooperation, but rather that need to find human reason. Most of the time if someone is making their own Homecoming and stops to rescue their Keeper’s favorite catgirl, that catgirl’s mind isn’t her own. Maybe on the way home something shocks her memory back into place, but all too often that doesn’t happen and you end up with a hob or a catatonic victim rather than a free Lost. On the other hand, Beasts freed by their Keeper can make almost ideal Loyalists; their ability to produce great Composure on demand, and the general prejudice of other Lost against them, mean that a Beast still enslaved to her Keeper can often go years without being detected, if she ever is. For an example of such a Beast, check out Maya Sharptongue in Night Horrors: Grim Fears.

All Creatures Great And Small - Beast Kiths

The magical bonds that unite Beasts as a Seeming are subtle and often overlooked. All Beasts can spend Glamour to flare their Presence and Composure, a capability that makes them second only to the Fairest for sheer sociability even if the Beast in question shares the essence of a decidedly non-social animal. Additionally, all Beasts have an affinity for all animals (that 8-again with Animal Ken though) which, while seemingly limited in modern application, has a lot of impact on their day-to-day life. A Beast will rarely have, say, rats in her home unless she prefers those rats be present; her pets will be well-trained and well-behaved (and likely well-loved) and her ability to just walk up to and befriend any given animal is not to be underestimated.

Psychologically, Beasts regardless of Kith tend to be territorial, a fact many Lost don’t think about a lot despite it being somewhat odd on its face. After all, not all animals are particularly territorial, and yet a swan-like Windwing, a lupine Hunterheart, and a Swimmerskin mermaid all display a similar concern over their spaces, their places. This is the Beast’s human nature at work; just as the places of human connection draw them home from Arcadia, so too do they stake claims over such places in their new lives, creating spaces where they can feel safe and in control, and able to indulge in both their animal instincts and their human desires and sorrows. For those Beasts with an especial affinity for their physical environment, Contracts of the Den and Contracts of the Wild (the latter being shared with the Elemental Seeming) can go a long way to creating and safeguarding their personal places of power.

And then there’s the back end. Beasts genuinely struggle with their Intelligence; compared to a human whose Intelligence attribute is equal, a Beast will always achieve worse results, and can’t benefit from the flashes of inspiration and intuition that sometimes characterize human thought. They struggle more with unfamiliar intellectual processes, though putting in the time to learn can solve that problem. The end result is that Beasts, regardless of Kith, tend to be some of the smartest dumbasses their friends know, who provide better results when they have to think at speed or under pressure than they do outside of the moment. Still, this perception of stupidity haunts Beasts, and in all too many Freeholds they can find themselves gently shunted away from power or complex duties or responsibilities that others believe they’re incapable of handling.

When it comes to Kiths, Beasts present an odd combination of being greatly defined by their Kith (in much the same way that Elementals or Wizened are) and their Kiths having very little relation to the folkloric archetypes that inspire Beasts. The overwhelming majority of the options for your Beast character concern themselves solely with the physical properties of one or more animals, which is great for the fantasy of playing an animal-person and completely fucking useless for the fantasy of a fae animal-person. More than most other Seemings, a Beast character meant to invoke a figure from folklore might want to consider the Dual Kith merit, with an eye towards Fairest and Ogre Kiths to snag most of what you might want.

Some expanded thoughts on the individual Beast Kiths follow.

Hunterheart - Arguably the quintessential Beast, Hunterhearts are infused with a predatory nature expressed through deadly fangs and claws. They tend to be reshaped in the vein of mighty wolf-men, cunning cat-people, or as archetypes of Beasthood or the hunt - mighty Hunters with racks of stag’s antlers, or even near-Ogrish beings like the Beast of French legend, whose price for a stolen rose was a bride to soothe his burning heart. Almost any predator might lend its nature to a Hunterheart though; a tarantula, for instance, is more appropriate here than as a Venombite, and Summer’s smallest and most surprising berserker may well be a Hunterheart with the soul of a shrew and an unshakeable lust for blood. Hunterhearts tend to be very physical people, who have a lot in common with Darklings - including an inability to escalate violent confrontation in an appropriate manner. Among the more thematic of the Beast Kiths, Hunterhearts might benefit from a Dual Kith into Flowering or Whisperwisp if you’re looking to embody a predatory trickster figure.

Windwing - Perhaps the poster child for Kiths that deal solely with the physical attributes of an animal, Windwing is a prime candidate for the other half of a Dual Kith concept if you’re after a more folkloric concept rather than looking to explore a more straight mixture of human and animal. A graceful Swan Maiden might look towards Dancer or perhaps Artist, while a Mothman type might lean towards Shadowsoul (a wise owl, on the other hand, might be an Antiquarian on the back end). Most carrion birds will also be Roteaters, but especially corvids of all stripes. Regardless of their nature, a Windwing is an incredible asset for a Freehold, and can expect to be courted aggressively for their abilities as a messenger, guard, spy, and scout.

Skitterskulk - I have no god damn idea what the writers were thinking on this one. Skitterskulk is, in theory, supposed to represent hard-to-exterminate vermin such as mice, flies, cockroaches, or mosquitoes; things that move fast and bother people with their filth, thievery, and pestilence. Unfortunately not only does their blessing of Impossible Counterpoise have almost nothing to do with this (and almost nothing to do with the perception of Skitterskulks as spies presented in Winter Masques), it is shamefully fucking useless. If you find yourself looking at Skitterskulk for the animal natures it’s associated with, consider some combination of Roteater, Windwing, Truefriend, Venombite, and/or Runnerswift instead. Don’t use this Kith.

Roteater - Speaking of, meet what is probably my favorite Beast Kith. Roteaters embody those animals that scrape, scavenge, and feed on carrion or refuse. Crows and vultures are obvious candidates (and probably Dual Kith’d with Windwing), but Roteater is also great for Beasts in the vein of Rat Kings (fleeing from the gnawed halls of a Sugarplum Fairy), raccoons (whether sly thieves or powerful tricksters) and even for social insects such as ants when used in combination with Truefriend. Roteater strikes a very good balance of the physical properties of its animals and their folkloric qualities, with the power of the Beast Seeming itself filling in the back end. Given that Lost tend to struggle both with money and with legal access to certain goods, the propensity of a Roteater to scavenge, salvage, and scrape can be a godsend to their Freehold and especially their Motley, if they can put in at least a minimal effort to clean themselves up.

Truefriend - Truefriends have a lot in common with Fairest; as “beloved” pets, they had a lot of their Keepers’ personal attention, and their memories of Arcadia may be cut through with the bloody consequences of the kindness and discipline of the True Fae. Regardless of what kind of animal they are (and they can be most of them; Truefriend is rife for thematic Dual Kith opportunities inside of the Beast Seeming), they tend to be, well, friend-shaped; Truefriends are often well-groomed, sleek, colorful (or with an interesting color pattern in their fur or scales) and might even be cute or drawn from a twisted branch of pop culture as embodiments of more ‘modern’ takes on Beasthood such as catgirls or animal mascots. Like Fairest, Truefriends may take to manipulating others in order to feel in control of their own life, and given the lack of suspicion that attends to Beasts they may get away with it for a whole lot longer.

Broadbacks - In a Seeming marked by a tendency to be kinda dumb motherfuckers, Broadbacks are the guys that make dumb ideas work by outlasting their consequences. Their bonus to Stamina rolls is most famous for satyr-like partying, but it also means that they can guard a door for hours on end without so much as a bathroom break, run marathons long after even the Runnerswifts have keeled over to beg for the sweet release of death, and brave hazards or traps in the Hedge that might force back other Lost. Aside from the (again rather famously represented) satyrs and fauns, Broadbacks might also take after minotaurs, be infused with the essence of camels or llamas, or even Dual Kith into Swimmerskin (as mighty whales) or Windwing (with Contracts of Hearth or of Omen, embodying the albatross).

Swimmerskin - The lines between Beasts and Elementals blur with Swimmerskins, especially those who take after mermaids, selkies, and nixies; Elements (Water) is a popular enough buy that it can be hard to tell the difference. Mechanically, Swimmerskin is a case of a Kith that sorta has to be about the physical properties of its animal nature; it’d be a strange sort of mermaid who couldn’t swim. Consider investing in magical Merits such as Siren’s Voice, specific Contracts (Elements was already mentioned, but Omen for a powerful sea-witch or Wild for a storm-brewing sea dragon can be equally striking), or investing in the Dual Kith merit to bring out further specific animalistic or folkloric traits, such as Hunterheart for a sharp-toothed shark, Tunnelgrub for octopi and other escape artists, or Farwalker for an ambush predator or a Thing From The Deep, emerging to prey on the ignorant and innocent.

Steepscrambler - The opposite of Swimmerskin in some ways; Steepscramblers are all about the physical act of climbing, but they really did not have to be and as a result they’re a big whiff on the folkloric elements of the animals they embody, including and especially the specific ones spoken of Winter Masques. Still, in a lot of ways Steepscramblers have the same practical uses as Windwings, especially in highly urban environments, so for concepts that are looking to invoke those folkloric trickster elements, eat the Dual Kith into Whisperwisp, Drudge, Farwalker, or Flowering and live ya best life. If you’re more interested in direct physical animals but are looking into something like a spider, fly, or beetle, consider Dual Kithing inside the Beast seeming to pick up the other aspects of your animal.

Runnerswift - For when you absolutely, positively have to GO FAST, there exists the Runnerswift. Though most famously associated with prey animals such as rabbits and deer (which are also common fertility symbols, go fucking figure), consider Runnerswift for more predatory concepts as well; as hunting hounds, cheetahs, or man-eating horses straight out of Greek legend, Runnerswifts can make terrifying pursuers and hunters. Though it can be tempting to Dual Kith in the latter case, it pays to keep in mind that the human side of your Beast definitely remembers how guns and baseball bats work, and those are probably going to be a better option than fang and claw if you’re already in a situation where you feel comfortable running down your frightened prey. Like quite a few Beasts, Runnerswifts skew towards being tricksters in much the same way as Hunterhearts, though in this case the prey animal often comes out on top rather than being made out as the villain.

Venombite - A cool concept with a bad case of being a late bloomer; Venombite’s Blessing is nearly useless until you start punching up into high Wyrd, at which point you are a POWERFUL MAGICIAN who can also fang people to death if they get too close or you can catch them unawares. Still, Venombite can be quite attractive for many concepts, especially spiders, deadly nagas, and treacherous scorpions. Their tendency to be associated with small and easily overlooked animals make Venombites surprising brokers of information and dealers of death; it might be awhile before your own poison can kill the human, but the brown recluses that obey your commands can kill one now.

Cleareyes - What if you had Contracts of Fang and Talon 2 but all the time? Cleareyes is an odd Kith; mechanically they’re solid, but also redundant with one of the game’s more attractive Clauses in one of its most attractive Contracts. There’s a few ways to split this difference, though I tend to suggest either making that Clause and/or their Blessing free if they have both (similar to how Gravewights get a discount on Contracts of Shade and Spirit) or permitting Fang and Talon 2 to give them a different sense the animal is known for (a cat-eyed Cleareyes able to see in the dark might invoke her Clause to also gain cat-like balance or perhaps a cat’s sensitive hearing). Thematically, Cleareyes is great for a lot of concepts and can hold down a lot of the same niches as Roteater and Runnerswift in a different way. It Dual Kiths well with almost any other Beast Kith if you want to double down on animalistic aspects, but as a task-driven Kith it also goes surprisingly well with those outside of Beast; Draconic (feral drake guardsmen, or perhaps a ‘failed’ Fairest), Antiquarian (wise owls in a different vein from Windwing), Oracle (a churchyard grim, or a cat kept as the familiar of a terrible witch), and Farwalker (straight-up werewolves or, with Contracts of Mirror and a nasty disposition, vicious rakshasas) are just some of the potential combinations on the table.

Coldscales - Not the flashiest, but they get the job done; Coldscales (typically but not necessarily reptilian in nature) benefit from a further bonus to Composure that makes them unusually hard to manipulate, a boon not to be underestimated given just how much fae magic attacks people emotionally. Though this Kith is intended to represent cold-blooded reptiles, consider it as well for animals famous for their sloth and endurance; a sleepy Bear Prince who can’t be bothered might display the calm endurance of a Coldscales, as might a terrible wyrm that must be roused to wrath (perhaps Dual Kith’d with Fireheart or Draconic), or even a big cat, deadly only if hungry or disturbed and otherwise content to feed on the carrion left behind by those who flee before him.

Riddleseeker - The Kith, the myth, the legend; Riddleseeker is the closest you get to a Mental-focused Beast (for, ah, obvious reasons) and is introduced in Night Horrors: Grim Fears. Its sample character, the loyalist Maya Sharptongue, has a sphinx-like aspect to her but Riddleseeker is also a great choice for ravens and crows (perhaps clutching fragments of lore stolen from their Keepers that their human minds could understand when their beast ones could not), legends of oracular serpents, and tricksters like the fox who made Mighty Miko a king. Riddleseeker holds down thematics on its own, but if you’re looking for the physical aspects it doesn’t do on its own it Dual Kiths inside of Beast pretty easily.

The Animal Kingdoms - Beasts in the Courts

As alluded to earlier, Beasts are often the backbone of the Freehold. Wizened do the thankless jobs that everyone relies on, but often it’s Beasts that fill in the miscellaneous roles. Messages and packages need carried? You’re probably calling a Beast. Loyalist needs his shit kicked in? Beasts are ready. Need to connect with a lonely mortal and see if their dreams are poisoned? Whistle up a Beast. Obviously not every single job a Freehold wants or needs will be filled by a Beast even if in theory it could be, but given how diverse the Seeming is and their combination of on-demand sociability and poise, they’re attractive for many duties. After all, even the most standoffish Venombite or Coldscales can put on a charm face with the best of them if you can keep a steady supply of Glamour on the table.

Given their difficulties with abstract reasoning, Beasts tend to relate to the ideals of their Court on a practical level, which can make them either sorta-kinda bad at being Courtiers on a formal level or paragons of their Court’s ideals, without a whole lot of in-between. Both perspectives are valuable; there’s not a whole lot of point in constantly debating the ideals of, say, Fear, if no one is going to go out and spread fear. For those Beasts who place great faith in the ideals of their Court, their commitment can serve as an inspiration and example to others, and a living reminder that sometimes living up to high ideals means making choices that aren’t easy for you personally or politically.

Beasts are surprisingly common in leadership positions, especially in Summer (where their physical focus and access to talented officers can carry them far) and Spring (where their instant sociability and diverse spread of talents can help them catch the eye of the Court). Unlike Fairest (who have a steadier and stronger social focus), Beasts aren’t prone to losing their entire goddamn minds in singular, shattering moments, which can make them more stable officers, nobles, and Crowns than their more glorious peers. They can also make surprising spymasters and even money-makers. Depending on the Court, though, a Beast in a leadership position may require an assistant to help with the paperwork (or the math), or else be prepared to work a lot of overtime patiently making and decoding ciphers on her own.

Like Elementals, Beasts can be somewhat more sensitive to the physical temperament of the Seasons than other Lost, to the point where it may be surprising to find, say, a snake-like Beast bundled up in layers beneath her Winter Mantle (gently muttering ‘fuck snow’ under her breath every so often). Those who choose to endure such discomfort are often some of their Court’s most avid members, and known as such.

Spring - Insofar as any Lost are natural joiners of Spring (typically a Lost’s second or even third Court), Beasts make for natural Spring Courtiers. They’re sociable, hard to visibly ruffle even if they’re screaming internally, often physically striking, and talented at living in the moment. Unfortunately that same talent can feed into a Beast’s difficulties balancing their human and animal aspects and leave them stuck in the middle between healthy and toxic even worse than Spring generally gets stuck. Despite this, Beasts can go quite far in Spring and often end up as movers and shakers who influence opinions.

Summer - Most people think of predators as Summer’s Beasts, but herd animals are much more common. Sure, every now and again you get a canine Beast who goes far, or a would-be King of Cats that remembers the twisting alleys of his Durance and the silver nets of Arcadia’s animal control enforcement, but Summer’s brotherhood and focus on physical defense is much more appealing to Beasts whose natures are shaped by animals such as deer, oxen, and dolphins. Those Beasts whose Durance was defined by fear and flight also sometimes flock to Summer, seeking the strength the Iron Spear offers to ensure that they will never again be Arcadia’s prey.

Autumn - Where most of the predators actually end up; human nature turns an animal’s innocent hunger and instinct into cruelty and schadenfreude in places, giving rise to Beasts that take after vicious werewolves or treacherous serpents. Though they can have a hard time fitting into the scholarly aspects of Autumn, Beasts go quite far in the Leaden Mirror through practical applications of sorcery and being quick on the draw. They may not necessarily understand the nature of their power, but Beasts definitely know how to hammer it home.

Winter - The Coldest Court is as pragmatic about its Beasts as it is about everything else; Winter tends to recruit Beasts by openly asking them to serve in jobs the Court believes they’re suited for, and paying them for that work. Summer might be content to make, say, a Runnerswift into a mighty Knight, but Winter is going to ask them to run (and, at times, to hide). The ability Beasts have to crank their Composure on demand can make the talented and discreet candidates for Winter’s higher-level social positions, and as the keepers of important information or Tokens.

Until Proven Guilty - Beasts and Changeling’s Themes

Beast is in an awkward spot compared to the other Seemings. In a game that is very explicitly about abuse, trauma, and recovery, Beast lacks a clear connection to those themes. Core introduces the idea that Beasts are united by a sort of innocence, a refutation of corruption that protects them from Arcadia on some level, but literally none of the rest of the game did anything with that theme. Their other primary theme - the mix of literal or folkloric animal instincts with human ones - is engaging and interesting, but disconnected from that central aspect of the game in a way the other Seemings aren’t.

You don’t necessarily have to address this. If you aren’t looking to deep dive into the nature of your Seeming, or your Chronicle doesn’t have a strong emphasis on those themes of abuse you can probably just let it ride. If you are looking to focus on those themes, one idea that’s gotten me personally a lot of mileage is to look at how your Beast relates to Seemings that had similar functions and asking yourself why are are not that Seeming, exploring your Beast’s trauma through comparison and contrasts.

From life experience though, there might be something to that dropped ‘innocence’ theme. That idea of an innocent, damaged and transformed by circumstances beyond their control, trying to build a new life in a world they weren’t prepared to live in has some strong similarities to children raised in cults or by survivalists and conspiracy theorists. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve connected with someone only to watch their entire worldview fall apart as they realized the world they’d been raised to live in doesn’t exist, and that everything they know how to do only works in the context of that fictional world. Fairest can also be strong candidates for depicting this kind of abuse, but I’d still encourage you to consider Beast if you’re interested in engaging on this concept directly.

We Don’t Bite People, And Other Lies We Tell Children - Coping With Beasthood

To be a Beast is to be caught between worlds twice over (three times, for Swimmerskins and Windwings, which, y’know. Sucks to be you guys); like all Lost they are influenced by both fae and mortal nature, but Beasts are also caught between instinct and reason. The animal within is entirely comfortable in the now in a way humans just aren’t, but their human half treasures things the animal can never understand. In the heat of the moment, though, when it comes down to instinct or reason, instinct often wins - sometimes to the Beast’s benefit, and sometimes to their great sorrow.

This balancing act defines the Beast’s life, and generally starts at home. Beasts usually live alone if they can, even if they’re otherwise sociable, so that they have a space in which they can entirely be themselves and decide who is welcome, when. Rarely does this influence stop in the physical bounds of a Beast’s house, apartment, or sewer drain though; any place the Beast thinks of as their turf (the broader neighborhood or apartment building, their office in the Freehold’s Commons, even their job if they have enough pull to get away with it) is going to be shaped to let them express some part of both sides of themselves. How that comes out varies from Beast to Beast. An affable satyr might become the neighborhood darling, doing favors and bringing food to their neighbors in unspoken payment for letting odd behavior slide, while a spidery Venombite might be more likely to trade on passive intimidation or even adopt a performative identity (it’s strange if a pastor’s wife is creepy, but no one thinks twice about a goth gal that’s spooky). Having those safe and/or welcoming spaces available is vital for a Beast’s ongoing mental health, and without them a nervous breakdown is only a matter of time.

Outside of the matter of their home and places of power, Beasts have a tendency for straightforwardness that has little to do with their particular animal (though it might) and everything to do with the fact that as a Seeming, Presence is their strongest source of social prowess. Dealing openly, for good or ill, plays to their strengths and has the added advantage of keeping their social life relatively straightforward, even if it’ll never quite be simple.

Stability, ultimately, has to be the goal of a Beast looking to build a new life after their Durance. They need to find a way to live their life that acknowledges and nurtures all parts of their divided nature; even those Beasts dumb enough to favor one side over the other can’t do it for long without losing their entire god damn minds. Few Freeholds are without stories of would-be Cat Kings (Autumn Nightmares) or Riddleseekers who turned into crows one day and just never turned back. Having escaped Arcadia only by finding their minds again, Beasts tend to be among those Lost most cognizant of what their issues are, and most willing to face those issues on direct terms. They did it once already, after all; the hard part is showing up to do it again every day.

Sample Beast - The Toy Taker, Autumn Riddleseeker/Windwing

Margaret Bellman is called Maggie by her Freehold and the Toy Taker by an increasingly mystified local media. Her memories of Arcadia are more like a gap than the usual splintered and fractured recollections of the Lost; one minute she was a teenage girl staring in fascination at the twisting figure in a mirror, and the next she was a grown-ass woman with crow’s feathers for hair and tiny, somehow functional wings, staggering through that same mirror and bleeding all over the place.

It didn’t take long for Maggie to swear herself to Autumn, though she’s an odd bird for the Leaden Mirror. Though she adores and practices magic, Maggie’s primary profession and hobby is theft. She steals things the Freehold needs stolen and sometimes robs homes for money, crimes the media has yet to connect to her other persona.

For Maggie also steals toys.

It’s never often. When her life is at a low point and spiraling out of control, Maggie slips into a child’s bedroom and takes one of their toys. She rips the shiny bits from it to add to her collection at home (displayed this way and that in her room, in shadowboxes, on strings, glued to the walls, dangling from coat hangers), crucifies the remainder, and leaves it on the kid’s door. Though the Winter Court disapproves of her methods, her hobby sows Fear and Sorrow in equal measure and her dedication to it has earned her some small formal appreciation from the Coldest Court.

As with all of my articles, I welcome questions, comments, discussion, feedback, and criticisms. Please, feel free to reblog if you’re feelin’ it!

Next up: Wizened

#Changeling: the Lost #Seemings #RPG #Beast Seeming #abuse #trauma

[an-anaemic-pen]

Project Phoenix Chapter 15

The Whole Truth

The Manifestation || The Power Play || The Green-Eyed Fly || The Middle of The Night || The Alternative || The Attic || The House || The God of Mischief || The Kill || The Night || The Collar || The Training || The Week Without A God of Mischief || The Routine

Summary: Kate’s a normal teenage Midgardian girl; except there’s a Loki in her attic, and now S.H.I.E.L.D.’s after her, and also, she has powers. Apparently, she’s meant to save the world.

She just wanted to finish school and maybe fall in love—at least she’s accomplishing one of those.

Relationships: Gen, F/M (Loki/Original Female Character)

Rating: M (Graphic Depictions of Violence, Underage if you squint bit—nothing occurs while characters are underage, Sexual Content)

Mood: Blizzard, SkyWorld

“I must tell you something.”

Kate looked worried. Damn her grey eyes. Damn her grey eyes straight to Hel.

“What is it?” She looked worried—no, scared, as she stood up.

Loki opened his mouth. He knew she wouldn’t have worked with him if he told her right away. He’d told her before, and it resulted in her killing herself. No, him killing her, even if he hadn’t made her jump off the bridge that night. “It is about S.H.I.E.L.D..”

“Is something wrong?”

“Not in the way you are probably thinking.” Loki didn’t know how to say it. He’d said it before, and it had made her commit suicide. Knowing it was a heavy burden, a burden of not only responsibility but also one that he knew would hurt her beyond repair. “It’s important, and you need to know it if we are to continue on.”

“Oh… okay.”

Norns, he didn’t want to do this. All he wanted to was to lay beside her on their bed back in Asgard as they had before. He particularly liked it when she thought he was asleep and would reach up and touch his face, trailing her finger along the skin and bones in exploration. There was something… curious about her when she did that, not childish, but inquisitive.

He could trust her, he always could, but she couldn’t trust him, and Loki knew she wouldn’t after he told her. “Perhaps you should sit down.” He began to move forward whether she wanted him to or not.

“Why?” Kate caught herself when he grabbed her by the upper arms and sat down on her bed. “Is it really that bad?”

“Yes.” Loki crouched down so he was on-level with her, even slightly lower than her.

Her worry only increased. He could see it from her posture—how her arms twitched the slightest bit, and her shoulders naturally rose to be held higher. Her face turned from concern to determination, but he could see the anxiety in her gaze. “I can take it.”

He doubted her. He knew what she would do; she would either shut him out and pretend to be unaffected or act as though he’d never said anything and not digest the information. Whichever was the outcome, it was bad.

Loki mentally took a deep breath. “S.H.I.E.L.D. isn’t exactly what I told you it was.”

She cocked her head the slightest bit like her little companion did when asked if he wanted a treat. “I don’t understand.”

He sighed. How was he supposed to put it into words? No amount of silvertongue could help him now; he’d wormed his way in and out of thousands of situations, but when he needed it most, it was gone. He’d trade those thousands of consequences for just a bit of help on how to break it to her. “I’m not who you think I am.” He shed the glamour and revealed himself. He didn’t exactly like that appearance, but it was how the ancient Norseman had pictured him, so it was how he’d shown himself to Kate.

He stood and paced the small room. “This is who I truly am.” He couldn’t meet her gaze. He couldn’t watch her die inside again. He’d done it too many times. She’d hide it with a smile just like the rest of the ill adolescents on Midgard.

Kate scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Yeah, right. You just happen to look exactly like a Midgardian celebrity.” Her hands sat in her lap, picking her nails.

Loki stopped. He looked at her chin. It was close to her eyes, but far enough away that he didn’t have to see them fade. “No, Kate, I am him.”

She smirked. “Well played, Loki, well played.” Her whole demeanor relaxed, and she casually leaned against her headboard. “You actually had me there for a second.”

He swallowed and closed his eyes. “I know my reputation, but I am telling you the truth.”

When he opened his eyes, her face had fallen. She sat up straight and put her bare feet on the floor. “What?” She shook her head. “Now I’m confused.”

“Now I’m confused.”

“I know it’s hard to explain—”

“Well, you better start right now.”

He could already feel her growing turmoil. “I am… supposed to be off-the-radar. S.H.I.E.L.D. is working on taking Asgardians out of the main view of the, as you call it, franchise, in order to stop from having to travel between realms for needed filming.”

Her own gaze fell to the floor. She blinked far more times than necessary. “So why are you here?”

He paced some more and opted not to answer her question. “After you were captured, your memory was wiped, and you became S.H.I.E.L.D.’s liaison between Midgard and Asgard. For the ease of the Asgardian people, we were married.”

She simply repeated what she’d said before. “Why are you here?”

He couldn’t possibly look at her, so he kept his head down. “I want you to remember who you truly are.”

“Then why’d you make me have powers?”

He noticed how calm she sounded—as if he wasn’t about to rent apart her entire reality—and he paced faster. “This is a controlled environment. I can train you to keep your abilities restricted unless use is necessary.”

She swallowed. “So… you lied to me?”

He stopped in front of her, crouching down again and taking her hands.

She pulled them away, and he let them slip from his grasp. “Yes, but I had to, otherwise—”

Her gaze snapped to him. “Look me in the eyes.”

He couldn’t.

“Look me in the eyes, and tell me you lied, Loki.” Her voice dripped venom.

She knew he could not look her in the eyes and lie.

Slowly, his gaze met hers. He’d expected rage, but he found instead a begging sort of hope. His heart—wherever it had come from—twisted in pain. It had not been venom on her tongue, but hope.

His lips created the words, but Loki did not understand what he was saying.

Then, there it was, the unadulterated fury, as hope shattered into tears. “I trusted you.”

He spoke with a tongue of lead. “I know.”

Why was she crying? He was the God of Lies, she should have expected it. And Kate was even beginning to miss him when he was gone. Dumbass, she scolded herself.

“Please, leave.” She’d meant to say it harshly, but her voice cracked, and she sounded more hurt than anything else.

“I will come back next week.” His hand reached up for a moment, almost as if to brush away the tears that were just about to fall down her cheek, but he hesitated and pulled back. He stood and walked out of her line of vision. When Kate picked her head up, he was gone.

She threw herself down on her pillow and let out a little sob. God, she was supposed to be an emotionless rock. She felt the same ache in her chest as she had when she’d seen herself die in Loki’s memories and it hurt.

She curled up. She didn’t know what to do with herself. What was she supposed to do? Nobody had betrayed her like that.

Nobody except Micheal, her unhelpful inner voice reminded.

Kate almost considered contacting him in spite of Loki, and it took her a moment to remember the predator was dead. She stood and hurled her pillow across the room in frustration. It deftly hit the wall and the light green barrier, still in place, glowed slightly.

Maybe she could overexert herself using her magic, and just die. That sounded nice. Heaven didn’t have any betrayers, did it?

There was some sort of twisted satisfaction at the idea of her death making Loki start his quest over again and, not being in her right mind, she opted to satisfy the urge.

Kate took a deep breath and focused, just like Loki had told her to. It was much easier to call upon her powers when she was experiencing such intense rage and, she realized belatedly, grief as well. She hadn’t known she was partially mourning the brother and kitten she’d never known.

The sound barrier was still up, so Kate screamed, releasing the most powerful blast she could manage. It left her palm with enough force to jettison her back into her desk. She hit her head against the wall rather hard; hard enough for her vision to shutter briefly, but not hard enough to knock her out.

The side of the room she’d fired at was now covered in a clear sheet of ice. It was almost like the way the world looked after getting blanketed with heavy snow, it melted a bit in the hot sun rays, then froze overnight to create a layer of slippery ice.

Kate stood, ignoring the throbbing in her head, and fired another blast. This one was noticeably weaker and her knees buckled under her own weight. She wiped away the tears on her cheeks and shivered in the sudden cold. The chilling ripple, which had been a stormy sea before, was now a trickling creek. As she cleared her eyes of the blur, Kate realized her fingers were blue.

They did not feel cold, or at least, not that cold.

She summoned the last of her strength and disregarded the blood dripping from her nose to her chapped lips. When had it become so dry? Kate realized she was panting quite heavily, but it was just another thing she ignored as she let the last of her energy creep into her fingers. She watched the frost form over her palm, light-headed as she made a tower of slush. She barely felt her half-numb body hit the floor as her eyes rolled back.

Her tower had been pretty.

#fanfic #fanfiction #loki #loki fanfic #loki fic #Loki Laufeyson #loki (marvel) #marvel #marvel agents of shield #marvel fanfiction #S.H.I.E.L.D. #Project Phoenix #Project Phoenix Chapter 15 #The Whole Truth

[unoriginaltoast]

Drabble: Metal and Ice

Fandom: FMA

Pairings: None

Characters: Edward Elric, Olivier Armstrong, Briggs Doctor

Summary: Edward gets caught out in the cold, the Ice Queen begrudgingly saves him. 

A/N: I literally read one stupid line on tumblr about how Ed has a lot of ‘moms’ except for General Armstrong and how could Armstrong show mom-like kindness? and I was all “Holy shit I got this!” Forgive me, I’ve never written Olivier before. Also not my best work, I literally wrote this and threw it up here so... enjoy!

The only thing Edward Elric could think about as he climbed the snow covered mountain was that he was absolutely, one hundred percent, going to move south. His arms were tightly wrapped around him as his hands grasped his coat. Supposedly, the coat was supposed to be one of the warmest out there, made specifically for the men of Briggs who had to brave the cold every day of their lives. However, as the wind nipped his bones, Ed felt lied to and wished he had something warmer.

After leaving Briggs, the giant military base straddling the border of Amestris and Drachma, the boy Alchemist vowed never to return. But, Mustang needed more information from General Armstrong, the formidable leader of Briggs, and sent Edward to get it. Alphonse was back in Central with Mei reading up on how best to defeat the Homunculi and so it was just the older Elric brother out against the cold. It was supposed to be summer, and the path was much clearer than it had been when he first marched up the mountain, but the weather still sucked and it was cold, and he was going to give Mustang an earful when he got back!

He marched for what seemed like hours before a strong wind kicked up and blew snow all around his face. His braid was almost certainly undone, though he didn’t know when that had happened. He just knew it was untied from the loose strands of golden blonde hair whipping his face. How long had he been walking? Why wasn’t he at the fort yet? Even with this snow, he should be able to see the tall, grey mass rising above the ground, wedged between the tallest mountains.

At some point, the ground raced up to meet him and his face was overcome with the sting of hitting packed snow and the burn of the cold. Bewildered, and not realizing how tired he was, he picked himself up into a kneeling position, his knees sinking slightly into the snow. Ed tried to brush the snow from his face, but merely transferred more snow from his glove.

“Fucking dammit,” he muttered, struggling to stand up. He squinted against the snow and a brown mass appeared in his line of vision. A cave! Perfect, he figured.

It was quite the struggle now that the fatigue was started to show itself. But, he made it to the cave and flopped down on the cold stone floor. It was still freezing, yes, but at least it wasn’t snowing. His chest heaved as he gasped for breath, as though the snow had taken all the oxygen, and the last bit remaining was in this cave.

Before he knew it, his eyes were closed and he had drifted off. When he awoke, the sky had barely changed, or maybe it was just the clouds blocking out the sun. Either way, the snow was still falling and Edward had no idea how he was going to get out of this situation. He was not yet fearing for his life. At 16, Edward felt almost invincible, and even if death was staring him the face, he doubted he would be afraid.

Pausing for a moment, he wondered if he should stay put or keep moving. He wanted to wait for the snow to let up, but eventually, he decided he would have to keep moving on. The weather here was unpredictable, and there was just as much a chance the storm would get worse before it got better.

So, he set back out, instantly regretting that he had to be out there at all as the wind whipped his face once again. But, after an hour or so of walking, the storm did let up a little and, though he still couldn’t see the fort, he could see much further ahead. It wasn’t great, and he wished the snow would just go away for good, but it was still better than before.

And then, out of nowhere, came the growl.

It was low at first, throaty and dangerous, and Ed almost missed it. If the wind had been whistling even a little higher, or if he had walked a little further, he wouldn’t have heard it at all. Slowly, he turned, and, staring straight back at him, was a giant brown bear.

If Edward had been trained at Briggs, he would have known to back up, keep moving, and slowly walk away from it. But, Ed was just a 16 year old who was used to running away from danger as fast as he could. So, he jumped and ran back as he struggled to rip off his glove. The sudden movement startled the bear, who roared and charged. Ed just dodged the animal, but the bear was much better equipped for the snow and quickly turned back to the boy.

Ed clasped his hands together and pressed them to the snow, creating a wall of ice out of the thickly packed white fluff. He heard a thud and knew the bear hit it while charging at him, but that only succeeded in ruining his wall and angering the bear further. The animal charged, growling the entire time, and grabbed Edward in the leg with its teeth. Luckily, that leg was his metal one. Unluckily, that was the leverage the bear needed to throw the boy a few feet into the air.

Ed felt the screws in his leg strain against his actual skin and he cried out. He was flung into the air and hit the ground with a thud. Stunned, and unable to move quickly he scrambled back and then his face in his arm, as though that would protect him.

But, the bite he was expecting never came. After a long moment, Edward curiously peered out and saw that the brown fur of the bear was now replaced by long blonde, wild hair.

“General Armstrong!” Edward shouted.

“Shut up!” She snarled back and Ed briefly wondered if he was more afraid of her or the bear.

Craning his neck, he saw that the woman had the bear pinned down with her sword through its left shoulder. The bear was yowling in pain and General Armstrong pulled the blade out. Edward averted his eyes as she killed the beast. Although he wasn’t thrilled with being attacked, he hated the idea of a living thing being killed because of him. He hoped the General didn’t see him, because he knew she would call him soft.

General Armstrong sheathed her sword and spun around to Edward, and angry scowl painting her face. Edward smiled sheepishly back at her which only caused her frown to deepen. “This was exactly how I wanted to spend my morning,” she said, her voice dripping with sarcastic venom. “Saving your weak ass. What kind of training does Mustang even have you do? Chasing butterflies?”

Edward let out a weak laugh and stood, his legs shaking. “No, no. Sorry, General Armstrong, sir.” He was only ever polite to her, because he was legitimately afraid she would kill him otherwise. “I got lost out here trying to get back to Briggs. The Colonel sent me…”

“I know.” Olivier didn’t sound too thrilled at the mention of the Flame Alchemist. “He called me this morning. You were supposed to arrive yesterday. That’s why I went out looking for you. Now get your ass up and get moving.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Edward mumbled, trying to be formal, but he was in pain and sick of being talked down to. He trudged along, trying to ignore the burning pain spreading throughout his body.

Quickly, they reached Briggs and Edward realized that if he hadn’t taken one small wrong turn, this whole encounter would have been avoided. Edward welcomed the warm air that greeted them so much so he barely heard the General ranting at him for being so slow, so stupid, and so weak.

“Edward!” Her rough voice snapped him back to reality and he looked back at her.

“Yeah, yeah I know, sir. I took a wrong turn. I’m sorry. I’ll work off my debt and--”

“You’re bleeding, you idiot.” She pointed to his side, which was dyed a bright red and to his leg which was coated in blood. As soon as he looked at the blood on him, the adrenaline disappeared and he wobbled slightly, feeling dizzy and weak.

“Oh, shit,” he mumbled, reaching for a chair and pulling himself onto it.

“Great, you get yourself lost and now you’re injured.” Olivier shook her head and marched off to the infirmary to grab the doctor. “All of you men on Mustang’s team are worthless! At least Hawkeye can shoot.”

Edward felt anger at her comment, but didn’t have time to respond before his vision went black and he hit the ground with a thud.

----------------

“Hey, there we go. You’re awake!”

The voice made Edward groan as he struggled to open his eyes. He found himself in a small, plain room with a single bed and a fireplace with a fire blazing in it. The Briggs doctor was smiling back at him and he was under a pile of warm blankets.

“You had some nasty cuts. Bleed a lot. And you were freezing! You’re a lucky guy… again.” She laughed as she changed a bandage on his wrist.

“Shit, what happened?”

The doctor looked worried. “You don’t remember how you got here?”

“No, no, I remember all that. What happened after?” Edward asked, sitting up.

“You passed out in the front lobby. The General ran to get me and I patched you up. That’s all. You’ve been out for about three hours.”

Edward found himself relieved that he had only been asleep for a little while. “I bet the General’s pissed at me.”

“Oh, she is.” The doctor smiled. “But she was worried.”

“Worried?” Edward asked, bewildered. “About me? I doubt she gives a flying shit about what happens to me!”

The doctor shook her head and sat down on the end of Edward’s bed. “You misread her. She expects no weakness from her men, but she won’t leave them behind if they mess up. And when they get hurt like you were, she does everything she can to make sure they’re back and better than ever.” “Well, that’s her men,” Ed said. “I’m just me.”

“You’re one of her’s now.” the woman smiled slyly.

“But I’m under Mustang. She made sure to remind me of that a ton.”

“You’re still one of her’s. Trust me. She respects you, kid. You’re a dumbass, but you’re the dumbass who has the best shot of saving the world. You think she’s going to turn her back on that?”

Edward smiled back at the doctor and laughed. She was right, he was valuable. There was no way the power-loving, strong-willed General was going to let anything happen to him, though she was still very likely to chew him out when needed.

Of all the people in his life, she was probably one of the most fearsome. But, he respected that, even, though he was a child in the military, she didn’t give him special treatment. Mustang and Hawkeye expressed caution at having a child work on dangerous missions, Maes wanted to be the father he never had, and Izumi was like a tough second mom. But, Olivia had no soft side. If he was in the military, he was a man of the military, nothing less.

#Fullmetal Alchemist #full metal alchemist fan fiction #fma #fma fan fiction #edward elric #olivier armstrong #olivier mira armstrong #drabble #no pairings

[king-jaejae-jams]

i loved you - 1 ;; all i wanted

Jisung was 14 years old when he realizes he never really had a mom or a dad.

People who loved him and treated him like someone precious, someone worth being loved for. Though he did have a little makeshift family, weird as all hell, but his ; Haechan as the brother that he never thought he deserved. Loving, annoying, caring, and by his side through thick and thin. Jisung can't say he's never felt so in tune and connected with someone before - other than Jeongin, his only friend in school. Those two were really the only people he could count on. The only ones who didn't make him feel incompetent. No one's opinion truly mattered except theirs, not even his parents.

And yeah, sure, he guessed you could include them. They were alive and well. If you could disregard the fact that they didn't really pay attention or bothered to offer him the love of an actual parent when he most needed it. Despite that, he had still loved them, doing what he could to please his parents, looking for that praise and warmth he knew now that he would never get. After all, isn't that what moms and dads were supposed to do?

To love and care for their child, their blood and flesh?

Was his love for them not enough?

Why hadn't he been enough?

When Jisung had started coming home with bruises and black eyes, did they begin to care, prattling on about their image and whatnot. It was some kind of attention, not the kind he wanted, but attention nonetheless.

Desperate and young, he continued. Continued to fight and instigate arguments with petty people that he knew would give in to their dark side. Maybe it was greed or envy or anger that motivated him and his true intentions. Maybe it was just him in general, but Jisung would only punch harder each time. For a wave of rage, he didn't know why he had, he'd punch and yell, not caring when blood would start flying from the face of the poor son of a bitch that tried to go against him.

But as time passed, Jisung had slowly started to realize that the love he felt for them was not truly there. He didn't love them. Never loved them. Only the idea of them and the image of a mother and father.

A fantasy.

That was the most devastating moment he had ever experienced. For someone his age to acknowledge the truth and ache for something that he can't ever have. Jisung shouldn't have had to open his eyes and see the reality for what it was. He hadn't wanted to either, but he knew that if he didn't, he wouldn't be able to make his own way and push himself past the mold that his 'parents' perceived him as.

Weak, naive, pushover

Jisung cried himself to sleep that day. Muffled wails and red-rimmed eyes were hidden behind his bedroom door. He remembered his nails creating crescent shapes into his forearms, hoping for some pain greater than what he was feeling then. Hoping that maybe, just maybe, what he had come to discover, was not true. That they loved him, that he could convince himself he could too. But his heart beat loudly and his blood rushed in his ears, reminding him that it was no dream. It was his reality. A harsh, cold, unforgiving reality. It sends a sharp pain through his chest each time he recalls every detail, every breath in his dark moments. It served as a reminder to be worth something and prove them wrong. Make them regret.

I'll prove you wrong and show my worth, he whispers to himself every day after that.

(His fights were more frequent out of spite. He found his release through it, unorthodox, yet an outlet to his bottled emotions. Seeing the disapproval looks on their faces was all the satisfaction he needed.)

<now>

Three days after his 15th birthday, things went from an okay life (as okay as it can be while living with people who didn't give a shit about you) to worse.

Jisung stood in the doorway of their house, tired from school and dumbass students, his eyes immediately zoning into the scene. the loud voices he heard down the driveway were his mother and father. They bellowed curses at each other as if it would in any way mend their crumbling relationship. Their faces were red and ugly, his mom's favorite vase broken between the two adults - probably why the argument started in the first place. The living room was cold and crackled with energy that made his heart beat slightly faster. Their voices echoed throughout the house and vibrated inside Jisung's head like a warning.

It wasn't something he expected to see after arriving from school but again, nothing surprising. They'd been fighting for a little over a few months now. It'd start with petty fights over dishes and chores, to the women his father would talk with at work, to his mother coming home late from the office. Each time Jisung noticed the tension he'd just hide away in his room or hang out at the park(which only lasted so long before he'd start shit with someone or vice versa). Lately, though, he prefers to go to the convenience store Haechan works in at night.

Jisung face paled when his father stepped forward into his mother's face as an act of intimidation. His heart began to hammer against his chest, adrenaline surging through his body as their shrieks get higher and anger clouded their eyes. The visible spit coming from their mouths could be seen flying through the air between them and the nasty monster within only seemed to rile the tension up even more. His father - who apparently had enough of his mother's accusations - raised a hand and slapped her hard. The sound echoed through the room like a final gunshot.

Now, Jisung's mom has never been one to back down or be afraid to fight back, so when she took a swing at his father's face without a second of hesitation, he noticed that things would only escalate from there. So he spun around and stepped back out the door with his backpack clenched in his hand. Jisung slammed the door shut, not caring if he'd get in trouble later on, and ran down the walkway of the house (not home, never home).

He barely made it past the street corner before letting out a shaky gasp and stumbling over his wobbly legs. His stomach twisted and he quickly bent over in time to vomit the acidic liquid. His eyes felt like they were burning with unshed tears and he wasn't sure if he was breathing enough oxygen when he dizzily lifted his head.

Jisung stumbled onto his feet to stand up and slowly began making his way to the park near his school. He passed drunkards and giggling teens in alleyways before sagging with relief when he saw swing sets coming into view. His nails were digging painfully into his palms yet he couldn't seem to feel a thing as he sat against the park gate, shaking, shocked.

They never fought like this. Never.

Yet he was stupid enough to think that the worst thing they could do was just forget about their own son. He should've expected it, honestly. The churning in his stomach each time he was in the same room with either adult, grew with every argument. A person's instincts is vital to survival, and Jisung ignored it from the very beginning.

If anything, Jisung knew that with his luck, it'd only get worse from there.

also available on ;;

- https://archiveofourown.org/works/18570289

++do not credit my work as your own or my pictures as your own++

++you may download the pictures as long as the credit goes to me or unless i state otherwise that they are not mine++

#nct fic #nct #kpop #park jisung centric #park jisung #nct mafia au #nct gang au

[lowewrites-blog]

War of the Word

Derogatory speech has been present within our society since the concept of communication & speech was created. Derogatory, meaning speech directed in a demeaning and negative way, has become a taboo within everyday conversation. Many of these phrases that are used today are watered down in the sense that it isn’t, for a lack of better words, “too wrong”, to use. One derogatory word that has become normalized within daily social conversations is the word “retard”. Most people that use this phrase in daily conversation typically are unaware of the power that word can have on people. Others that know what the word entails may say that it is only a word. However, that is far from the truth. Using the word retard in a derogatory way impacts an entire demographic of those who are affected by mental illness, including those who are family and friends of said people.

To understand why people use the word, one must first know what the word means by definition. The word “retarded” stems from the word ritardando, which is a phrase created during the mid-1800s for classical music in regards to a piece of music becoming gradually slower. To this day, the phrase ritardando is still used on pieces of sheet music, typically abbreviated rit. under measures in which the musicians would begin to slow the music down. The roots of this word were brought back in the early 1900s when the researching of mental disabilities became a more prevalent topic. Patients who appeared in hospitals that were diagnosed as mentally disabled may have been referred to as “retarded” in the sense that their brains & nervous systems reacted slower than other people.  Near the mid-1950s, however, the word began to make its way into general conversation. Mark Peters, a writer from the Boston Globe, found that one of the first noted occurances of the word retard being used in a derogative way can be found in Frank Rooney’s 1954 novel “The Courts of Memory.”. Peters writes that the novel, “... contains an insulting use that should be familiar if not comfortable: “God, you’re simple, Dick. . . . You’ve got an I.Q. about equal to a squirrel’s. You’re retarded, do you hear me?” (Peters, P3) During the following years, the word began to make its way into conversations, being held at the same caliber as other derogatory insults, such as dumbass, idiot, or even moron. Ben Zimmer, a language columnist for The Wall Street Journal, explains that, “...words like ‘moron’ and ‘imbecile,’ while originating in psychological research, quickly fell out of scholarly fashion as they got taken up in popular usage as synonyms for ‘fool.’ ‘Retarded’ took much longer before it was replaced by ‘intellectually disabled’ and so forth. So I think there was more time for ‘retarded’ to lead a double life, in both technical and lay usage, which made it more obviously offensive.” (Peters, P7) Many people were unaware of the origins of the word, only that it was being used as a demeaning insult about something they disliked. In most cases, the word is used as an adjective to describe situations or things that people dislike. Whether that be within referring to something they disliked as retarded, or something that they perceived as dumb or pointless.

With that being said, it can make sense why people choose to use the word. Given how popular the word has become with it’s negative usage, most assume that using the phrase is just one of the other phrases that don’t cause people to react in comparison to inappropriate language. The word being used among other derogative phrases that would be considered household phrases, the impact that the word has on the user is lowered. In John C. McGinley’s article “What Really Happens When You Use The R-Word”, he speaks about the actual impact of the word. McGinley writes that, “...(words that end with the suffix “-tard”)  used are the original population of special needs individuals who served as the catalyst for this kind of disparaging vitriol in the first place. They are those kids who ride on the smaller school bus. The ones who have personal space, proximity issues. And most importantly, many of those with intellectual disabilities are defenseless to this word.” (McGinley, 6). When somebody uses the suffix “-tard” and the end of any phrase, it traces back to the demographic they are insulting, intentionally or not. For example; If someone were to use the phrase, “Libtard”, in an insultive way, the word is not only insulting those who side with Democratic sides of government, but also those who have mental disabilities. Especially in today's society, most derogative phrases that insult specific demographics are frowned upon. Those words, however, are held at a higher caliber than a word like “retard”, which, with that logic, contradicts itself. On top of that, this is a demographic that typically lacks the ability to defend themselves. This is a demographic that also doesn’t just soley involve people that are considered mentally disabled. The word also insults those who are friends & family of those with mental disabilities.

However, there are a few that can speak for the demographic from a personal standpoint. Rick Smith, writer for a Down Syndrome awareness website called Noah’s Dad, talks about how he reacts to people using the word in jest. Smith writes that, “...When I hear people use the word “retarded” like I used to I try to take a moment to help them understand why they shouldn’t. I’m always very gracious about it because I know they don’t mean anything hurtful by it, and they certainly aren’t trying to insult my son or others with intellectual disabilities.” (Smith, P5).  Derogative speech goes farther than just affecting those who the words are put against. Those words can also have an affect on those who have experienced those people secondhand. Many family members and friends that are affected by the word realize that the majority of people that used the word aren’t making blaintant attempts to disrespect an entire community. However, in this sense, ignorance to this doesn’t change the fact that the word still has power to certain people. ABC News writer Andrea Mayes wrote on a campaign earlier this year that spoke about how the word retard affects all whom are affected by it. One of Mayes quotes is from a sibling with down syndrome, in which they say, “...When you use the R word, you're saying that my sister's not very nice, and it's really offensive to someone like her, but it's also offensive to me.” (Mayes, P11). Joseph Franklin Stephens is an athlete with Down Syndrome that involved in the Special Olympics. Stephens wrote an open letter to Ann Coulter in 2012, in regards to her using the word retard in an insultive way. From a quote on the “R-Word: Spread The Word To End The Word” website, Stephens says, “...I can only tell you what it means to me and people like me when we hear it. It means that the rest of you are excluding us from your group. We are something that is not like you and something that none of you would ever want to be. We are something outside the "in" group. We are someone that is not your kind. I want you to know that it hurts to be left out here, alone.” (Stephens, P1) Stephens advocates for the demographics that is being affected by the word by saying how much the word can hurt people that are on the spectrum for mental disabilities. When people use the word retard in a way that associates the word with a negative pretense, they are conceitedly giving that pretense to the demographic the word affects. If someone says something is retarded because they deem it to be useless, or pointless, they are also calling those who are affected by mental disabilities the same. That person may not realize what they are doing is wrong, and that it may just be another word to them, but in reality, everytime they use that word, they are slowly demeaning those with disabilities more and more. Jeremy Waldron, a professor on Political Theory at Oxford University, wrote an article regarding the harms of hate speech. Waldron states that, “...To the extent that they can, the purveyors of this hate will try to make it a visible and permanent feature of our social fabric. And members of the vulnerable groups targeted are expected to live their lives, conduct their business, raise their children, and allay their nightmares in a social atmosphere poisoned by this sort of speech.” (Waldron, P4) Using words like retard to describe situations also creates a society in which people that are members of that demographic are seen in different, if not, lower positions that other people in society. Waldron also writes that, “...the aim of this sort of speech is to defame the members of the vulnerable groups in question – to do whatever they can do to lower their reputation in the eyes of others and to make it as difficult as possible for them to engage in ordinary social interactions.” (Waldron, P4) This means that whenever someone chooses to use hate speech, they are bit by bit, making it hard for people who are associated with words like retarded, to carry on a normal life, something all people are obligated to do.

My twin sister, Katie, was diagnosed with high functioning autism when we were both 4 years old. I remember how much that experience affect my entire family as a whole. My parents; My grandparents; Myself. It completely changed our lives receiving that diagnosis. Growing up, I felt even more affected by it with the way my classmates interacted with kids in my sisters classes, whether it had been the stares they gave them, or the comments they had made jokingly about how they looked or acted. When I heard them use the word retard to express their emotions of negativity and pointlessness, it honestly hurt. Yet, whenever I tried to explain to them that the word was rude and impolite, typically I would just received the response that, “words can’t hurt unless you let them”. Looking back on those kinds of moments, I realize now what they told me was far from true. Even if someone had no idea a word they were saying was wrong, certain words will always carry certain pretenses. Whether that individual realizes this or not, the words that they use have an impact, positive or negative. Whenever my peers used the word retard in a demeaning way, they were, unbeknownst to them, demeaning not only Katie, but everyone that cared about her, including me. Sure, they can say a word that doesn’t concern them doesn’t hurt them, but on the other side of that word, there was people like my sister who most likely don’t know any better. Because deep down, I know that my sister doesn’t really understand what the word retard pertains. However, I know what it does. My family and friends know what it does. The word hurts.

Within our society, the majority of hate speech has made its way out of society, regarding phrases that target specific communities, such as the LGBTQ, POC, and religious communities. With that being said, the word retard, which has the same effect as other targeting, derogative words, should follow suit, and the fact that it hasn’t is backwards. If words that target other communities & demographics aren’t accepted as fair, what makes the word retard different? From that, society needs to realize that when it comes to removing derogative and hateful speech from vocabularies, they cannot pick and choose what words are and aren’t offensive. The word retard has the same effect as any other word that targets groups or individuals, and needs to be held at that caliber. Hate speech, as a whole, shouldn’t be as prevalent as it is today, and the fact that it is shows how negative society today has become. Starting a conversation about removing words like retard from daily vocabulary opens up doors to find better ways to express emotion in daily conversations. On top of that, finding ways to express your emotions of distaste through other outlets besides hate speech also eliminates any possibility of hurting others feelings. If society can agree on removing one bad thing from their daily life, no matter how big or small it may seem to them, a chain reaction could follow that helps to spread positive, uplifting speech, that helps to spread compassion instead of hate. Above all that, if society can choose to eliminate words like retard from conversation, it would make life a much more kinder place for people who may suffer from mental disabilities.